> That's why people go to grad school, participate in a hobby, or join a sub-culture to make their world smaller again and limit their choices to make themselves happier.
I don't think people do those things to limit their choices to make themselves happier.
I think they do those things because the act of being at grad school, or enjoying a hobby or sub-culture makes them happy.
In other words, people don't do those things to socialize with fewer people; they do those things because they enjoy doing them. Socializing with people who enjoy the same things they do is a pleasant side-effect.
That's true bro. But I don't think it's because other people aren't interested in you or don't have time for new friends. I think it's because in these situations when you are the new kid to the social clique/workplace/club, the onus is on you to take initiative to make friends. Sure there are probably ass-holes but you probably don't want to bother with them anyways. But most people are friendly if you make the move, but they'll never know that you are interested in bromance/romance if you never do.
Hell, people in the club probably think you are the one with so many friends that you don't want to talk to them because you are just there for the hobby.
I completely disagree. You give too much credit to humanity.
People go to grad school, join a hobby or sub-culture for validation and then later, they rationalize it later. "Screw those Wall St. guys, I'm making a difference with my research!/I may not be as rich as those corporate drones, but I'm an artist with an interesting life!/At least I'm rich and money can truly buy anything!"
Most people (including myself) will never make a choice based on their intrinsic values. Not even CS nerds that go to CS grad school - publishing and presenting a well-cited paper to your peers or launching your startup based on that paper is flaunting your status in academia/Silicon Valley.
Grigori Perelman/J.D Salinger is probably the closest well-known people who only do things because they enjoy doing them. But even they are big phonies by making a big ruckus about how they are not phonies.
I don't think people do those things to limit their choices to make themselves happier.
I think they do those things because the act of being at grad school, or enjoying a hobby or sub-culture makes them happy.
In other words, people don't do those things to socialize with fewer people; they do those things because they enjoy doing them. Socializing with people who enjoy the same things they do is a pleasant side-effect.