I find talking about it helps. The feelings pass if you allow yourself time to heal, and talking to a coach, a therapist, deep diving with others going through similar stuff helps pass/break through it.
But this life we live and all the struggles are all part of the journey. there's no end-destination free of inner conflict.
It's recognizing that human suffering is universal, and having compassion for yourself. Through awareness of knowing what you're in, when you're triggered, and how - that awareness itself is HUGE. next part is to have compassion for yourself or else you will overwhelm.
Having compassion for yourself is so important, and so hard to do. When my therapist first mentioned this concept to me, it felt so foreign. It hit me like a ton of bricks that even though my personal issues are far from my fault, and there's no possible way I could have been at fault (childhood abuse that I've struggled with my entire life), I was blaming myself for every aspect of my problems.
I'm still struggling, a lot, but realizing that I was my own worst critic was a huge step in starting to deal with my issues.
For me, I had been stuck in the struggle because I was in my head trying to strive for a place of perfection where my flaws would be fully healed/corrected and never again repeated.
thats an incredibly high standard and pressure to put on ourselves. You're right that we are our own harshest critic.
Have compassion for the human who can still fuck up but fuck up with knowing, because then at least you can see it and be aware of it.. and through time you can correct it.
Self compassion allows you to go through this journey without giving up.
But this life we live and all the struggles are all part of the journey. there's no end-destination free of inner conflict.
It's recognizing that human suffering is universal, and having compassion for yourself. Through awareness of knowing what you're in, when you're triggered, and how - that awareness itself is HUGE. next part is to have compassion for yourself or else you will overwhelm.