This rings true: no girl I've dated would have given my profile on a dating site a second look. You can't communicate over a profile what you can collaborating on a project, tutoring someone, or even playing WoW. Conversely, I don't like girls for what they would put in an online profile, but for the way the act in person.
So the elephant in the room, I think, is that dating isn't really a problem that needs solving via a web app. You can meet significant others in bars, art and yoga classes, the gym, book clubs or Bible groups, summer or weekend classes at a local college, study groups or tutoring, AA seminars, group therapy or AA seminars, in galleries, concerts, parks, parades, political action groups, conferences about hypnosis, or video games, or comics, or programming languages, or role playing, and on, and on, and on. Dating your coworkers might be risqué (although it hardly stops people), but dating your coworker's friends is quite all right. And guess what: your coworker's friends have friends, too. As long as you do things which involve meeting new people, you'll probably run into people you like enough to date.
Hell, I know a lot more couples who met playing WoW than I do who met using dating websites. What's the point of isolating and controlling the meeting of mates, when it's such a natural byproduct of being social? Yes, for most people, I think WoW counts as being a social activity.
I mostly agree with you. Online dating is not a panacea and will not replace traditional dating. It's just one tool of many to find a good mate. What people don't realize is that success in online dating is just as difficult as regular dating. Many people think online dating will be easy, and so get very frustrated when they don't meet the partner of their dreams after a couple months. To that I say, how is that any different than real life? Maybe it's just that nobody cares about your uninteresting profile that took you 45 minutes to write. Maybe your pictures are suboptimal. Maybe you sound desperate or wounded. Maybe you target the wrong people. Maybe you're looking for flings when the site mostly caters to those looking for marriage. Or vice versa. Maybe that particular dating website just sucks. Maybe you can get those first dates but you come off as untrustworthy. Maybe a thousand other things. :)
The way I see it, online dating has two main advantages: 1) much of it can be done from the comfort of your own home, and 2) you can be very specific in your preferences up front. In this respect it can be vastly more efficient than traditional routes.
I know a number of couples who met through online dating web-sites. Their success rate does not seem to be significantly lower than couples who met through more traditional routes.
It'd be hard for me to disagree with your conclusions more.
No girl I've dated would have given my profile on a dating site a second look. You can't communicate over a profile what you can collaborating on a project, tutoring someone, or even playing WoW.
I think a helpful way to think about online dating sites is as just another class of venue, like a bar or whatever. You wouldn't expect to completely know someone immediately after meeting them at a bar; rather, you're using a quick first impression to decide if you want to get to know them more. After your first date, it doesn't matter much where you happened to meet.
Just as some people don't come across well in bars, others don't come across well in profiles. Sure you can argue that the "in person" impression is worth more, but that's actually a bit dubious. An online profile lets some types of people quickly demonstrate intelligence and personality in a way that some other venues don't necessarily allow.
So the elephant in the room, I think, is that dating isn't really a problem that needs solving via a web app.
Describing "dating" as a problem to be solved is akin to describing "graph theory" or "linear algebra" as a problem to be solved; you're being overbroad. There's the "life partner problem," the "I want to get laid tonight problem," the "summer fling problem," etc. I think the problem online dating solves best is the "introduction problem" — how to efficiently meet people with whom you share a baseline romantic interest.
You can meet significant others in bars, art and yoga classes, the gym, ... on, and on, and on. .... As long as you do things which involve meeting new people, you'll probably run into people you like enough to date.
While I agree with this, I disagree with the conclusion that these venues obviate the need for online dating. What happens if you live in a very small town? What if you don't have time to go to bars, seminars, and yoga? What if you're shy? Online dating levels the playing field for people who are affected by questions like those.
Hell, I know a lot more couples who met playing WoW than I do who met using dating websites.
Dare I say, you are an outlier.
What's the point of isolating and controlling the meeting of mates, when it's such a natural byproduct of being social?
Maybe because it's more efficient? What does "being social" mean in this context, anyway? And why is going to a yoga class to meet a mate intrinsically superior to using an online dating site?
The girl I'm dating right now actually lived down the street from me for a while, but because I don't work with her, go to her gym, or take Irish class, I'd have been unlikely to have met her and gotten to know her without online dating. Go figure.
Again, dating sites are just venues where you can meet people. It seems to be more isolating and controlling to try to eliminate or deride them: why should there be one less type of venue where people can meet potential dates?
I think there are many people out there who could really benefit from online dating but demur from it because of the kind of thinking in the parent comment.
So the elephant in the room, I think, is that dating isn't really a problem that needs solving via a web app. You can meet significant others in bars, art and yoga classes, the gym, book clubs or Bible groups, summer or weekend classes at a local college, study groups or tutoring, AA seminars, group therapy or AA seminars, in galleries, concerts, parks, parades, political action groups, conferences about hypnosis, or video games, or comics, or programming languages, or role playing, and on, and on, and on. Dating your coworkers might be risqué (although it hardly stops people), but dating your coworker's friends is quite all right. And guess what: your coworker's friends have friends, too. As long as you do things which involve meeting new people, you'll probably run into people you like enough to date.
Hell, I know a lot more couples who met playing WoW than I do who met using dating websites. What's the point of isolating and controlling the meeting of mates, when it's such a natural byproduct of being social? Yes, for most people, I think WoW counts as being a social activity.