Expressing romantic attraction to someone can be fraught. One party or other usually has to make some sort of leap, and that leap has the potential to backfire.
So. This is why adults learn how to do two things:
- Thing 1: Read the other person. It's entirely possible to take actions that could lead to romance, but that also allow both parties the ability to gracefully back out. Normal people should accept when the other person gently signals disinterest and attempt to restore the previous relationship. So I can believe that someone could form a solid and real romantic relationship with a subordinate.
But:
- Thing 2: Some people are creepy assholes with shit-bag pick-up lines who clearly don't see or care to see the lines between work and romance. These people say things like: "I was getting confused figuring out whether to hire you or hit on you." Normal adults know that this is inappropriate and wildly uncomfortable (at best) for the target. It frankly feels like the actions of someone who has learned about women through Penthouse letters and porn (depending on their generation). It's like a pizza guy who thinks women opening their doors to pay for pizza are offering a sexual come-on.
Executive summary: Trying to establish a romantic relationship with anyone is tricky, especially if you're already in a position of power. But normal, respectful adults know how to do so in a way that doesn't ruin relationships, offend people, hurt people, or confuse business relationships. Generally they do this by not muddying existing relationships and by by giving the other person a graceful out.
Expressing romantic attraction to someone can be fraught. One party or other usually has to make some sort of leap, and that leap has the potential to backfire.
So. This is why adults learn how to do two things:
- Thing 1: Read the other person. It's entirely possible to take actions that could lead to romance, but that also allow both parties the ability to gracefully back out. Normal people should accept when the other person gently signals disinterest and attempt to restore the previous relationship. So I can believe that someone could form a solid and real romantic relationship with a subordinate.
But:
- Thing 2: Some people are creepy assholes with shit-bag pick-up lines who clearly don't see or care to see the lines between work and romance. These people say things like: "I was getting confused figuring out whether to hire you or hit on you." Normal adults know that this is inappropriate and wildly uncomfortable (at best) for the target. It frankly feels like the actions of someone who has learned about women through Penthouse letters and porn (depending on their generation). It's like a pizza guy who thinks women opening their doors to pay for pizza are offering a sexual come-on.
Executive summary: Trying to establish a romantic relationship with anyone is tricky, especially if you're already in a position of power. But normal, respectful adults know how to do so in a way that doesn't ruin relationships, offend people, hurt people, or confuse business relationships. Generally they do this by not muddying existing relationships and by by giving the other person a graceful out.