I agree with the overall theme of this article, but I would also claim that we can't put all of the blame on the biological effects of being poor. The life choices we make still play a part (which is, after all, influenced to some degree by our biology).
As an anecdotal case, my sister and I grew up poor. She's 6 years older than me but I'm doing significantly better than she is economically. We were raised in the same environment, had the same nutrition, went to the same school, have similar genetics. I could relate all to well to the "mom hiding the foodstamps" line noted in the article.
I think the area where our paths diverged was in terms of the choices we made as a way of dealing with the stress we faced. She found comfort in other people, I isolated myself. She got pregnant at a young age, I cut off other people and focused on my studies. She got married, I worked to get get enough financial aid to go to college. She got divorced and is struggling to support two kids, I have a good career but have never had a serious relationship.
It could have just as easily gone the other way for both of us. I could've gotten some girl pregnant, she could've gone to college and become successful. Perhaps that's the random element of chance noted by the article's author, but I still think it came down to the choices we made.
For what it's worth, I don't think I'm better than her at all. It has taken me years to realize that we both did what we did as a way to deal with our mental issues. I'm still fucked up in my own way, but I guess I'm lucky in that I don't have to worry about making my rent payment or putting food on the table (though, as the article's author also stated, I still feel like the rug is about to be pulled out from under me and I'll have to live on the street).
One thing that does bother me, however, is that my sister to this day says, "I wish I could [something]" or "It must be nice to [something]" in response to what I do. It discredits the effort I put into what I have accomplished. Even if luck played a small role, I still put in a whole lot of effort. On top of that she criticizes me for my reclusive nature, which is a real low blow, in my opinion, and has made our relationship as adults rocky, to say the least.
Forgive my rambling. Just seems like this article was something I could really relate to.
The author acknowledges that choices are at play here; what he's arguing is that your ODDS become a lot lower from being poor.
It sounds like you're equating the ways in which you're fucked up with the ways in which she's fucked up. That may well be true; on the other hand, your kind of fucked up might increase the odds of your offspring doing well, whereas hers might not -- so in that way, your "way" was better even if your subjective evaluation of your own condition is not any better than your sister's.
Also, you resent your sister saying "It must be nice...", and I agree, it would be better if she didn't say that to you. On the other hand, aren't you (sort of) doing the same thing if you wish you had some social/personal component that your sister does but you don't?
>On the other hand, aren't you (sort of) doing the same thing if you wish you had some social/personal component that your sister does but you don't?
Maybe I think that at times, but I don't say it to her face (or really to anyone) in an effort to gain sympathy, which seems to be her motive when making those comments. I think that's a pretty big distinction.
I definitely agree with your other points, though. I don't want kids, but if I did I would be in a better position to provide for them that gives them an advantage over kids that grew up in the sort of situation hers have.
As an anecdotal case, my sister and I grew up poor. She's 6 years older than me but I'm doing significantly better than she is economically. We were raised in the same environment, had the same nutrition, went to the same school, have similar genetics. I could relate all to well to the "mom hiding the foodstamps" line noted in the article.
I think the area where our paths diverged was in terms of the choices we made as a way of dealing with the stress we faced. She found comfort in other people, I isolated myself. She got pregnant at a young age, I cut off other people and focused on my studies. She got married, I worked to get get enough financial aid to go to college. She got divorced and is struggling to support two kids, I have a good career but have never had a serious relationship.
It could have just as easily gone the other way for both of us. I could've gotten some girl pregnant, she could've gone to college and become successful. Perhaps that's the random element of chance noted by the article's author, but I still think it came down to the choices we made.
For what it's worth, I don't think I'm better than her at all. It has taken me years to realize that we both did what we did as a way to deal with our mental issues. I'm still fucked up in my own way, but I guess I'm lucky in that I don't have to worry about making my rent payment or putting food on the table (though, as the article's author also stated, I still feel like the rug is about to be pulled out from under me and I'll have to live on the street).
One thing that does bother me, however, is that my sister to this day says, "I wish I could [something]" or "It must be nice to [something]" in response to what I do. It discredits the effort I put into what I have accomplished. Even if luck played a small role, I still put in a whole lot of effort. On top of that she criticizes me for my reclusive nature, which is a real low blow, in my opinion, and has made our relationship as adults rocky, to say the least.
Forgive my rambling. Just seems like this article was something I could really relate to.