And on the other side - it's hard enough being a parent and seeing your kids grow up and not need you. Harder still to be a foster parent and constantly become attached only to have them torn away from you, seeing them go on to situations that may be subjectively worse than the home you gave them.
You give up a part of yourself to raise a child. I simply can't imagine the sort of emotional strength it would take to bury 10 children and show such love to dozens more.
Foster parents always have the option to adopt. Not to be a negative Nancy, but the system is pretty terrible and many, MANY foster parents act more as halfway houses for kids than any sort of "parent".
Your "Foster parents always have the option to adopt" statement is absolutely not true.
Of the ~408,000 children in foster care in the United States,
only an estimated 107,000 are eligible for adoption[1].
At the same time, there are also about 600,000[2] women in the United States who are actively seeking to adopt.
Of course, the vast majority of those parents looking to adopt are looking for a newborn or infant, and only 6% of the children in the foster care system are under 1-year old[3].
The foster system is designed to get children back to their birth families, not adopted out. If it becomes clear that's not an option, then the system works to get the child adopted by a close relative.
Only after it becomes clear those two options aren't, in fact, options, does an unrelated foster-parent have the potential option to adopt. Even then, it's a challenging process fraught with bureaucracy and serious difficulties for the potential adoptive parents.
I'm not railing against the system, I'm just addressing your specific comment. We have several close friends and family members who have have tried, and failed to adopt a child through the foster care system in the United States.
I wish it were that easy. I am an ex-foster parent, and the thought of losing my children when I had them as foster children tore me up. It takes months and months of waiting, courts, CPS visits, parent visits; and, all the while, you (the parent) are living in a limbo. Should you plan the Christmas vacation for 3 people or 4? Should you buy birthday gifts a few months out if a gift is on sale? Every single one of the families in my foster placing agency felt the same way.
I am sorry, but your statement just doesn't hold true at all. I think that when people report facts like those, it makes it that much harder for foster parents, and for the system to recruit parents and volunteers.
The goal is usually to reunite the child with their parent, but circumstances often intervene. Children have a larger network of caregivers (aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, even church members and family friends) that also play a large role.
You give up a part of yourself to raise a child. I simply can't imagine the sort of emotional strength it would take to bury 10 children and show such love to dozens more.