Some of the "harder" aspects are being sexually harassed and intimidated in ways that aren't possible to do to men. I have a friend who was raped by her boss, and then he raped another coworker. They were afraid of getting fired, so they didn't tell anyone. Finally her friend spoke up and was fired.
(This was at a VC-backed, Silicon Valley firm, by the way.)
That sounds terrible, but these things are quite rare.
They should have gone straight to the police and pressed criminal charges.
As a woman in the office, your main issue is that some male bosses won't take you seriously.
On the other hand, if you're a woman, many bosses (female bosses and also some sympathetic male bosses) might give you extra help/special treatment (which is fair enough).
Precisely. I am completely flabbergasted by the parent comment.
How can someone allow a rapist to walk free? What job is worth keeping that interferes with justice being done? Which VC can survive a lawsuit resulting from firing an employee who was raped by her direct supervisor????
These questions must be answered if the parent's story is to be believed. If the story is true, it would be international headline news for weeks.
People did not believe her. That's why she was fired. It was a he-said, she-said situation. Plenty of people didn't even believe Cosby's accusers until it was revealed that he himself had admitted to drugging and raping women.
Even if people do believe you, you're heaped with shame. Who wants to make an "international headline" out of something so painful and personal?
It's not "people's" opinion that matters. It's the police and court's. Victims of sexual assault have their identities protected throughout the entire legal process.
Did she, or did she not, report these multiple rapes to the police?
I didn't mean to imply that it's common, but sexual harassment is much more common. I was trying to make a point about women facing a whole class of issues that men don't face.
Raise your hand if you're a man and you've been sexually harassed at work!
raises hand
I worked somewhere where I was the only man and was constantly harassed and my work belittled by my bosses and coworkers. I was outperforming my coworkers but put under extra scrutiny and was groped by my colleagues on several occasions.
At another job where I was in a minority of males, my coworkers were excessively flirtatious to the detriment of my performance at work.
I worked somewhere else where my male boss made me stay several hours late to help him with his work while he would praise me while trying to rub my leg and tell me how good looking I was.
Heck, I've worked at other places where because I wasn't macho enough for the rest of my coworkers, I was called a pussy and my sexual orientation was called into question constantly and they thought it was an okay running gag. That's sexual harassment too!
I'm sorry but sexual harassment at work isn't a gender-exclusive thing. Not by a long shot.
Aside: I'm kind of glad that I got fat and this all stopped happening. I'm somewhat more inclined to think that this is something that happens pretty universally to any reasonably-attractive people. I see these same things playing out with good-looking male coworkers constantly. I'm also totally ashamed of myself for letting these happen because I'm generally a very passive person. My choice in my personality and demeanor allowed other people to hurt me.
Wow. Rape is a felony. She was "afraid of getting fired"?
Pretty sure she could sue the VC and retire off their millions if they fired her for opening a rape case. By the way, you don't report rape to HR. You report it to the police, immediately after it has happened. And you go to the hospital and get a rape kit done. Rape isn't some microagression accusation you can just throw around when something uncomfortable happens. It is a felony.
If she does not report her rape to the police, she is allowing these alleged rapists the freedom to rape again. She is encouraging criminal behavior.
As such, the more likely story, is that your friend wasn't raped. She was "raped", as in, there was a consensual but unconformable sexual experience that she later upgraded in her mind to "rape". That word has been so diluted by social justice warriors that it has lost all meaning outside of the court of law. Once again, if she was raped, she can send her rapists to prison for a very, very long time. And sue the company for millions.
So, why isn't she doing this? Probably because she wasn't raped.
Given the absence of more data, it's equally likely that the events reported were true, and went unreported for the reasons stated. There was some guy, recently, who wasn't even a Boss, or particularly powerful or influential in his own right, who beat and assaulted a woman, and experienced relatively minimal consequences for doing so?
Certainly, the woman in question in that case is not now retired off the millions she earned for reporting what happened her to the police.
So, why would you expect a different outcome, or why should someone who has experienced such abuse expect a different outcome, when the perpetrator does have direct influence over their livelihood (and thus, ability to continue doing things like live indoors or eat food regularly)? And, expecting no real justice, why go through the public spectacle and (as frequently happens) accusations of being a liar (etc), possible public shaming and ostracization, etc, for no reason?
So, why jump to your conclusion? I anyone harmed by giving poeple who claim to have been hurt the benefit of the doubt?
In your example, the accused was found guilty and sentenced. The victim was not fired from her job, nor her identity revealed. Also, the accused was not found guilty of rape nor battery, as you allude to. Read your own link:
"Turner was a student athlete at Stanford University on January 18, 2015, when he sexually penetrated an intoxicated and unconscious 22-year-old[1][2][3] woman (later called "Emily Doe"[4]) with his fingers. [...]
He was arraigned on February 2, 2015, pleading not guilty on all five charges.[13] On October 7, 2015, after reviewing the results of DNA tests, the two rape charges were dropped by prosecutors.[7][12][14][15] The trial began on March 14, 2016,[16] and concluded on March 30, 2016, with Turner's conviction on the three remaining charges of felony sexual assault.[17][18] The convictions carried a potential sentence of 14 years in prison. Prosecutors recommended six years in prison while probation officials recommended a "moderate" county jail sentence.[19] On June 2, 2016, Santa Clara County Superior Court Judge Aaron Persky sentenced Turner to six months confinement in the Santa Clara County jail to be followed by three years of probation. He must also register as a sex offender for the rest of his life[20] and participate in a sex offender rehabilitation program.[18]"
It seems there are some members of HN who really want to return to the days of witch burnings and mob rule, where an accusation of guilt is immediately acted upon and the accused is executed for the alleged crimes.
(This was at a VC-backed, Silicon Valley firm, by the way.)