They have this new thing in SV that I think would be perfect for you. After a brief admissions process, you join a group of engineers who congregate at the same time and place five days of the week. You collaborate on projects, learn new things, and perhaps even socialize. They even offer you units of exchange with which you can acquire resources. It's a really great setup, and just goes to show what an innovative and dynamic place SV is.
I understand that you were joking, but I replied out of frustration because I genuinely want to find a group of people (outside of my coworkers) that I can make cool stuff with but its been difficult.