I have a tendency to keep up with all the men in my career who helped me with my career, directly or indirectly:
Mark Ruzicka: Navy petty officer who turned me on to DOS 6 and hacking in general
John Grosshandler: my first software sales job
Leo Linder: helped me with MCSE certs and got me into network admin and support via his consulting firm
Larry Spear: CEO of a voice over ip company who supporting me being hired and doing Java dev
Brett Slaski: Network and DBA manager who let me talk the company into revamping their software and use C#
My current boss: unbelievable support and encouragement from him allows me to make mistakes and recover.
I could not be programmer, my life love, without these guys.
:)
edit: To answer the OP's question, I would start with a specific goal/project in mind and find out what steps are required to get it done. The best way to learn programming is to do it. If one book doesn't click, try another on the same subject. And another. Until you get it.
Thank you for sharing your story! I wasn't actively discouraged like you, but my family also enforced rigid notions of what "proper girls" did. I'm so glad you're now doing what you love.
