1. Delete this post. Your feelings are valid, as are your struggles, and a lot of people are struggling with similar issues. If you had posted under a throwaway, this would be a great place for discussion. But airing these issues publicly with identifying information won't help anything. Your coworkers and employer read this website, this isn't something you need to share with them.
2. You need to reevaluate your relationship. If you want to provide these things out of caring and love, great, go for it. But if you are doing it out of a feeling of obligation, the only result will be resentment. You can't change someone, and in all (non-dependent) relationships, it only works if both people want to be there under the same terms. If the terms you want for a relationship don't match hers, even with compromises, then it probably won't work out.
3. You have a skill that few people have: You can build something once and sell it over and over at no marginal cost. And people like you are needed everywhere. You can make a change, in location, in job, in relationship, etc. and you will have the earning potential where ever you go to make what you need. (What someone else needs, that's another question.)
1. Delete this post. Your feelings are valid, as are your struggles, and a lot of people are struggling with similar issues. If you had posted under a throwaway, this would be a great place for discussion. But airing these issues publicly with identifying information won't help anything. Your coworkers and employer read this website, this isn't something you need to share with them.
2. You need to reevaluate your relationship. If you want to provide these things out of caring and love, great, go for it. But if you are doing it out of a feeling of obligation, the only result will be resentment. You can't change someone, and in all (non-dependent) relationships, it only works if both people want to be there under the same terms. If the terms you want for a relationship don't match hers, even with compromises, then it probably won't work out.
3. You have a skill that few people have: You can build something once and sell it over and over at no marginal cost. And people like you are needed everywhere. You can make a change, in location, in job, in relationship, etc. and you will have the earning potential where ever you go to make what you need. (What someone else needs, that's another question.)