IMHO it is rising individualism triggerred from FOMO from social media where in you believe you still have something left to experience outside in the world and which cannot be done once you have small kids.
Another one probably is how people with kids narrate their experience , where in they mention all the sleepless nights , limitations and costs , without telling about the postive aspects like happinesss , satisfaction and a stronger sense of purpose. Can't blame them given these aspects are very subtle and difficult to tell/narrate.
Yes, this is very true. If you listen to some people you would think that once you have kids your life is basically over. You will never be able to spend any time on yourself anymore.
This is just not true - at least if you refuse to become an extreme helicopter parent.
I have four kids. I had a ~10 year break where I very rarely made it to parties and music festivals, and my life was mostly work and kids. I had a great time and have never regretted my decision to have kids, but there were some things I missed.
Now we start doing these things again, sometimes with the kids, sometimes because the kids are big enough to be alone or because we can afford a babysitter.
Here is one egoistic argument for having kids: the world is going to become very confusing in a decade or two. There will come the time where you can't keep up anymore. Then you will be happy to have somebody that loves you unconditionally that can make decisions for you. I trust my kids way more to take care of me when I am old and confused than any institution or person motivated by money.
I don't think that's a 100% yes or no argument (especially not beforehand( but I'd say I know more parents that are actually really hard to get a hold of since the first kid, as in... you try to work with their schedule and there's nothing and then you basically stop seeing them unless you'd live close by and have kids the same age.
Might be an atypical case here but it's my experience.
Based on your experience looks like startup is a good match. The argument about learning the tools first doesn't sound that convincing to me , it is mostly you justifying the high salary. Also database is not a tool per se and even if it is you will mostly understand how to query it , which is just like learning SQL and I don't think it will help you in writing a database
Another one probably is how people with kids narrate their experience , where in they mention all the sleepless nights , limitations and costs , without telling about the postive aspects like happinesss , satisfaction and a stronger sense of purpose. Can't blame them given these aspects are very subtle and difficult to tell/narrate.