I think this only applies to certain segments of society. My child has type 1 so I'm active on Facebook groups for parents. The number of mums who say their partner is not involved really at all in their child's care is so sad. The child's own father can't supervise their child solo because they can't manage the care. And then the divorced parents. Oh boy...
"The number of mums who say their partner is not involved really at all in their child's care is so sad."
While that can be true, I wonder how much of it is true. It's pretty common in therapy to hear partners saying the other one doesn't contribute, but further investigation can often turn up observation biases.
Without proper statistics we can't know. But I do wonder why is it that if you spend any time on parenting websites you find lots of mothers complaining about deadbeat husbands, and so few fathers complaining about deadbeat wives. Purely anecdotal, but it is very lopsided, and it has made me wonder why is it.
I'm a dad, too. The lopsidedness could come from many places: mothers being drawn to parenting websites (marketing), women feeling more compelled to voice complaints online (if they are stay-at-home-moms, they don't have coworkers to chat with), women actually getting treated unfairly (very true... patriarchy), etc.
I've heard this from many moms, "My husband does so little in terms of housework, childcare, play and mental load, that it is actually easier when he is out of the house; when he is home, I essentially have to take care of an additional child." I even know some moms that organize playdates for their husband, as in ONLY the husbands, so that that the husbands are out of the house.
On the other hand, I know of two separate marriages that fell apart because the husband worked, did all the child care and housework, while the mom stayed home and doomscrolled. After a few years of no improvement, divorce. Of course many things could be at play here... screen addiction, post-partum depression, etc.
Raising kids is complex, time-consuming, hard, and amazing. It takes a lot of energy, people, and love. I always try to assume people are doing their best, though sometimes even that's tough.
You can see why men don't share often. The women get excuses (addiction, post partum, etc) and it's naturally assumed that men are dead beats. Probably not your intention but as one of those divorced dads I can tell you the bias is overwhelming.
It depends on the site but when I was a SAHD, I found many of those parenting sites were not welcoming to dads, even dads doing the exact same work as the moms. Moms there wanted a place to vent about their husbands and men who were pulling their fair share or were handling most of the parent duties simply weren't allowed.
This, it's well known that women want to vent and men want to fix the issue. This difference in communication and perspective has been supported in various research.
Yeah, seriously. Anyone with some experience in life understands that men and women are (on average) wired very differently, and this is one of the ways.
It seems like a safe guess that very few of the moms complaining about their partners on r/parenting are also married to the dads who are posting on r/daddit.
It's like how /r/steak is just dudes posting steak pictures, and there is some new cooking sub where it's just women posting food pictures and complaining about their significant others. Women be complaining.
> there is some new cooking sub where it's just women posting food pictures and complaining about their significant others
If you are referring to /r/girldinnerdiaries, that is not a cooking sub, nor is it intended to be. The whole point is pairing a photo of dinner with the situation and mood of the photographer.
It's right there in the name: Girl Dinner Diaries.
I'm not sure how serious you are about the dismissive "women be complaining" comment. A big part of your perception may be that women have more to 'complain' about; society is measurably unfair for women. Another part could be that when women voice their struggles it is called "complaining," and when men voice their struggles they are "being serious." Also, men get shot down for showing vulnerability and seeking support, so their struggles are internal. And this isn't always good for mental health.
My comment was descriptive, not normative. I’m not ascribing moral valence to it, just stating what’s happening and speculating why. For example, men probably complain less because men get shot down for showing vulnerability in public settings like online forums. Women probably complain more in public because they get sympathy. Whether one is good, or one is more mentally healthy, I don’t think either is healthier or unhealthier, but I don’t particularly care.
Being a deadbeat is defined as not paying. It's not about caregiving. These roles may not be equally distributed by gender, but then why is there not as much complaining by men about women not being equal partners financially? It's has to do with bias.
You can also find that much of the research about household duties is biased against the type of work that men have traditionally done (eg excluding yard work, maintenance, etc).
> But I do wonder why is it that if you spend any time on parenting websites you find lots of mothers complaining about deadbeat husbands, and so few fathers complaining about deadbeat wives.
My ex wife does this. I take my issues with her to a therapist (instead of online forums). FWIW I have always been more present than her in our child’s life and certainly pay a lot more too. One data point, but it’s in the population you’re referring to.
Some people want sympathy at the expense of their partner’s reputation.
That's the thing about trends in aggregate data. It tells very little about the details of any particular situation. There are almost certainly a wide variety of subgroups where this particular trend doesn't hold, and others where the changes are even more dramatic.
The data is reasonably reliable, at least in the view of the team that published the paper, and those who reviewed it. No one claims it is perfect.
And the post that started this sub thread was about how their experience didn’t show the trend. But no one in the social sciences expects every sample to follow the trend. There will be numerous exceptions. Just like sometimes when one rolls a pair of dice one gets a twelve.
That twelve is an absolutely an accurate sample from the data but just because one sometimes gets an outlier it doesn’t mean that there is no central tendency.
Exactly. This is not paid software. We assume full responsibility for outcomes when using it. There's a reason it's not on any app store. I'm glad features like this are being experimented with. Not how I would use AI to estimate carbs...
That's irrelevant to my point. Feel free to replace "selling" with "distributing" - my point stands: using an LLM to estimate carbs from a picture is a real use case that real software developers are suggesting to real people is a real solution. It's not some contrived idea that the researcher concocted to make AI look bad.
The GP, and much of the thread, is basically acting as if it should be obvious to anyone who is not an idiot that this is not possible to do precisely; and that the researcher just made up some use case that LLMs can't do and wrote a paper about it to disparage AI.
This post made the rounds on the open source DIY looping community in Facebook. In my opinion this isn't a good way to use AI to estimate carbs. Using AI to estimate carbs is just one of a large list of tools at our disposal including nutritional info, company websites, weighing with a scale, etc. Just taking a photo of a food with no other input isn't going to give good results. Taking a photo, along with a description including a brand name, an idea of size, a recipe url etc will do much better. My opinions as a parent of a type 1 child
And gemini-1.5-pro is months from depreciation and there is no production alternative. 2.0 does not pass our benchmarks and in a regulated industry we need time to move to a new modek
I've been listening to them on KEXP.org for a decade or more now.
It's a little odd tuning into "the morning show" in the afternoon, but it's good radio, and so much better for discovering music than any of the alternatives here.
6 Music can be as good, but it never quite got over the "death" of the UK indie music scene and sometimes feels more like a tribute act to it's former self. As I speak the heaviest tracks in rotation are from Bon Iver and Doves, and while both are great acts, they're not new bands. Overall the discoverability is way down, and fairly often I'll find new music, even music from UK+Ireland, via KEXP, rather than from the media here.
Each is not always good 24x7 but when they are good they are so much better than any playlist I've ever heard. You're just not going to get a Firebunker(RIP) or Cousin Mary or Alma de Barrio without the humans.
With radio on the internet, there's a ton of great worthwhile stations available.
WTMD, Colorado Sound, WEQX, Koto.fm, Mountain Chill, WETA, WMRW, 102 Cue, KCRW all get a lot of play around here.
Radio feels dead because most places have been taken over by a couple major broadcasters. Radio is awesome when people care about it, is still a fantastic institution of lots of small local shops doing amazing things for great good.
I love them, discovered when I lived in Seattle. Now I've got a crazy little one WJOP-LP but some of the DJs play local little bands and more obscure artists. Must be a teaching/training type thing.
Are you still announcing meals? I know some people use iAPS with no meal announcement which sounds amazing. We are moving our T1D son from OP5 to Loop but would consider iaps in the future. Hoping we can recreate our 92% average time in range with less work needed
reply