Usually the most tabs I have open is because I was window shopping, particularly on Etsy. Etsy doesn't have a quick look option and it's faster to me to middle mouse click links to open them then go through them all once I'm done looking for a particular thing. Except it often ends up being a rabbit hole and I never get around to looking at the tabs.
You can favorite an item from the list view of items, but it adds it to the favorite list without prompting to sort into another list, which is worse than the YT or FB implementations of collection sorting. It's also easier to miss the prompt on the item view page since it only pops up for a few seconds. It ends up being easier to just open all the tabs and never favorite items I might want or not instead of going through favorites.
I tend to open various tabs to read things on Reddit, Wikipedia, research papers, etc in general and not come around to them either.
On top of that sometimes I leave things open because I want to share it later and haven't found a tool that makes it easy to sort collections like this. Pinterest is okay for things that have images, but the usability is not quite there either.
I was asked to code 2048 in an interview at a major video game company. I don't necessarily think it's the most difficult thing ever, but I also don't think it's that easy if you've never even thought about it before. I knew I wasn't going to be able to completely solve it in 45 minutes and remarked solving it was more difficult than I thought it would be.
The interviewer replied, "yeah, I tried it at home and thought it was pretty hard too."
Seems like a pretty dumb question to ask in an interview unless you expect the interviewee to flounder.
I'm convinced I'm probably smart enough for at least a handful of roles there, but I'm not convinced Google (and others) care about people who interview poorly due to mental health issues. My thoughts, feelings, etc were shamed growing up so now "sharing my thoughts" to someone who is very clearly sitting there judging them sends me into a dissociative state and shows I can't "work under pressure". It's not near as big of a problem once I'm more comfortable with my coworkers. I wish I could magically overcome C-PTSD so it's not an issue, but it's the hand I was dealt.
It makes me feel very sad for anyone who struggles with their mental health, even if they are making progress. It makes me feel sad about what I have or will miss out on in my own life.
> I'm convinced I'm probably smart enough for at least a handful of roles there
There's a scene in Zero Dark Thirty where the CIA chief asks a subordinate for an assessment of another agent. "She's smart," he says. The chief shakes his had and replies, "We're all smart here."
Google has 0 need for more smart people to apply. They have all the smart people they need and then some. What they want are people who will do whatever it takes to work at Google, regardless of the hassles of applying. Then they find the smart people in that group and hire them.
A part of their research, geneticists give flies mutagens and then screen (filter) them for desired properties. A famous one opined that if you push a screen hard enough, you'll always get what you asked for, just not what you wanted.
That thought has stuck with me, and I think it applies to this sort of interviewing as well. FAANG-style interviews push their screens extremely hard for a few traits. They get what they ask for, but in my experience, the resulting pool can be quite poor on a lot of other traits that turn out to be quite important. Some of these people can be truly miserable to work with and strikingly unproductive.
With luck, this will lessen as you get older. Try to cultivate an "I don't give a fuck" attitude about this sort of thing. Many of your interviewers don't really care much about you, and even those that do often aren't as talented as you are. It's just a roll of the dice--it means nothing in the bigger picture.
I only moved once, after my parents got divorced. I changed schools in 4th grade and didn't end up having any "best" (they weren't actually good to me) friends again until 8th grade. I remember almost nothing about middle school, especially 7th grade. This week in therapy I was asked if my parents ever played with me or took an interest in anything I was doing...I realized they didn't. I'm so used to be being alone that I never considered this and I think it sucks more than the lack of friends. My parents were so emotionally unavailable they didn't notice any problems, not even when I became severely depressed in high school. It took more than 8 years for me to finally have a breakdown, 8 years for my mom to finally realize I needed help.
I've been diagnosed with Schizoid Personality Disorder. It's uncomfortable knowing I fit in so well I'm basically invisible and when I'm not, it's more often that I'm being judged for having flat affect which I think is only exacerbated by being female. I don't know what emotions I'm not showing, I don't know any other way.
I never hid my previous employers but I really don't want companies reaching out to my previous job. My manager was toxic as hell and actually told me to give up when I tiptoed into telling him about some mental health issues that I was working through. He also told me everyone on my team disliked me. Eventually I did "give up" and stopped trying to impress anyone. I was also the only woman and felt extremely excluded by default. I ended up only being there for 6 months.
There isn't really a productive or healthy way to share this with a recruiter.
