I try to listen for the feeling behind/under the words being spoken. Ask yourself why they're saying the thing they're saying, and try to respond to that.
Thanks for sharing. I resonate with so much of what you say, particularly this:
>>or perhaps they believe they already do it with an internal monologue.
This is the typical justification I use for when I'm not in the mood to journal.
And your comments about ADHD, being more intentional with people, and living a prosocial-oriented life. I too could easily veer down a hermit-like path but deliberately effort not to. And I used to think that a personal CRM was overkill and such detailed tracking of others a waste of time. I haven't implemented anything yet, but I see the value of it now. Relationships are cumulative, interactions build off of each other. Remembering salient details in prior interactions (e.g. from my recent life, little tidbits I could find useful: Rachel deeply loves her mom. Ana is aware that I get car sick easily and made an accommodation for me, etc etc...)can enhance future ones.
Absolutely. Your relationship with yourself is the best thing you can develop to take care of yourself. After all, who better than you to ensure future you is taken care of? On the other hand, the people around us are everything. Life is nothing without others.
Apart from nurturing a constructive relationship with ourselves, for ourselves, it’s critical to do it for the people around us as well. I don’t think it can be understated how important and worthwhile it is to be intentional and mindful about it.
Someone noticing you get car sick might seem like a small matter in passing, but that’s the fabric of what makes our relationships. Like you said, it’s all cumulative. I think it’s absolutely worth taking a moment to contemplate that or note it away somewhere.
I'm intrigued by this viewpoint and want you to elaborate more! Why is getting smarter the worst goal to have? Do you think it's useful to get very smart at something specific, or does it amount to the same as not being smart at all?
Asking as someone perpetually soothing myself with advice about diet, alcohol, spirituality, etc.
In a sense, yes. To be honest I didn't really want to spell it out because I like leaving something to the imagination for my readers.
Sometimes they're solid gold (ie, preferred equity) and one has to ask themselves whether or not it's worth their time, attention, security, and happiness. Often the handcuffs are gold-plated (ie, employee options), and give the illusion they're worth suffering for in a similar manner as the solid gold ones.
At the end of the day, they're both handcuffs and serve the same function as the steel ones.
Couldn't this prove the point that we don't equate movement with intelligence, though? Who's to say animals also don't possess this intelligence? Maybe we'd have to go down the chain then, to more inert species like plants and fungi, though they also possess intelligence I can't begin to comprehend.
Agreed, and I'll add that you don't have to be overly interested in metrics/fitness/quantified self to derive benefit from this.
For instance, I care little about the measurements of any given run or walk, I rarely even look at them when I'm done, but just the recording itself on my Apple Watch subtly motivates me to work harder and go longer. It becomes more of a 'workout' than a passive activity.
>> When I leave a job, I've kept the good friends, even hired some of them.
This is key for me too. When I was in a stressful people manager role, sorting through conflict and personalities every day, my favorite manager would always say 'people over companies.' Even if you have no intention of leaving your job or being friends with your coworkers, this thought brings everyone to the same level - we are all people who happen to be organized around this fictional thing called a company.
I feel for this writer. Whoever you are - you might be struggling but you are also so aware, even when you say you're not, and that's the first step if you do want to change. I imagine there are legions of others going through the same cycles that can continue this blissful mindless existence day after day, but they may eventually look back and wonder what their life was even for.
My two cents - turn inwards for a little while. Fascinate yourself with yourself. Learn everything about yourself. From there you will find a purpose, which I think is what you're lacking so you let others fill up that space.
Meditating can help you separate all these stories you have about yourself from the true you, which is beyond words. Sit in silence and learn what it's telling you.
This kinda just reads like a post hoc rationalization for a career decision. 'Leaving Google' is supposed to mean something momentous, but it isn't. It's a career decision, like many of us make at least several times through out life.
First point - even if, so what? The value of the article is in the thoughts, regardless of motivation.
Second point - maybe 5 years and hundreds of "leaving Google" posts ago. And the author doesn't seem to try to make it bigger than it is. TFA is exactly that - an explanation of a career decisions which HN found good/resonating.
