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Thanks for sharing. I resonate with so much of what you say, particularly this: >>or perhaps they believe they already do it with an internal monologue. This is the typical justification I use for when I'm not in the mood to journal.

And your comments about ADHD, being more intentional with people, and living a prosocial-oriented life. I too could easily veer down a hermit-like path but deliberately effort not to. And I used to think that a personal CRM was overkill and such detailed tracking of others a waste of time. I haven't implemented anything yet, but I see the value of it now. Relationships are cumulative, interactions build off of each other. Remembering salient details in prior interactions (e.g. from my recent life, little tidbits I could find useful: Rachel deeply loves her mom. Ana is aware that I get car sick easily and made an accommodation for me, etc etc...)can enhance future ones.


Absolutely. Your relationship with yourself is the best thing you can develop to take care of yourself. After all, who better than you to ensure future you is taken care of? On the other hand, the people around us are everything. Life is nothing without others.

Apart from nurturing a constructive relationship with ourselves, for ourselves, it’s critical to do it for the people around us as well. I don’t think it can be understated how important and worthwhile it is to be intentional and mindful about it.

Someone noticing you get car sick might seem like a small matter in passing, but that’s the fabric of what makes our relationships. Like you said, it’s all cumulative. I think it’s absolutely worth taking a moment to contemplate that or note it away somewhere.


I'm intrigued by this viewpoint and want you to elaborate more! Why is getting smarter the worst goal to have? Do you think it's useful to get very smart at something specific, or does it amount to the same as not being smart at all?

Asking as someone perpetually soothing myself with advice about diet, alcohol, spirituality, etc.


> Why is getting smarter the worst goal to have?

Because it's an empty, abstract and leading to nothing goal. Our mind needs to know "why exactly" to find its "hows". It's just how it works.


Meaning, the eventual payout is rarely what you think it is?


In a sense, yes. To be honest I didn't really want to spell it out because I like leaving something to the imagination for my readers.

Sometimes they're solid gold (ie, preferred equity) and one has to ask themselves whether or not it's worth their time, attention, security, and happiness. Often the handcuffs are gold-plated (ie, employee options), and give the illusion they're worth suffering for in a similar manner as the solid gold ones.

At the end of the day, they're both handcuffs and serve the same function as the steel ones.


Reminds me of Law 38 from "48 Laws of Power": think as you like, but behave like others.


Couldn't this prove the point that we don't equate movement with intelligence, though? Who's to say animals also don't possess this intelligence? Maybe we'd have to go down the chain then, to more inert species like plants and fungi, though they also possess intelligence I can't begin to comprehend.


Agreed, and I'll add that you don't have to be overly interested in metrics/fitness/quantified self to derive benefit from this.

For instance, I care little about the measurements of any given run or walk, I rarely even look at them when I'm done, but just the recording itself on my Apple Watch subtly motivates me to work harder and go longer. It becomes more of a 'workout' than a passive activity.


>> When I leave a job, I've kept the good friends, even hired some of them.

This is key for me too. When I was in a stressful people manager role, sorting through conflict and personalities every day, my favorite manager would always say 'people over companies.' Even if you have no intention of leaving your job or being friends with your coworkers, this thought brings everyone to the same level - we are all people who happen to be organized around this fictional thing called a company.


I feel for this writer. Whoever you are - you might be struggling but you are also so aware, even when you say you're not, and that's the first step if you do want to change. I imagine there are legions of others going through the same cycles that can continue this blissful mindless existence day after day, but they may eventually look back and wonder what their life was even for.

My two cents - turn inwards for a little while. Fascinate yourself with yourself. Learn everything about yourself. From there you will find a purpose, which I think is what you're lacking so you let others fill up that space.

Meditating can help you separate all these stories you have about yourself from the true you, which is beyond words. Sit in silence and learn what it's telling you.


This kinda just reads like a post hoc rationalization for a career decision. 'Leaving Google' is supposed to mean something momentous, but it isn't. It's a career decision, like many of us make at least several times through out life.


First point - even if, so what? The value of the article is in the thoughts, regardless of motivation.

Second point - maybe 5 years and hundreds of "leaving Google" posts ago. And the author doesn't seem to try to make it bigger than it is. TFA is exactly that - an explanation of a career decisions which HN found good/resonating.


May I ask what your practices were that led you to the dark night, and how you then came out the other side? After years of meditation I've kicked it up a notch this past year, and feel like I'm approaching that dark night period. My feelings are somewhat muted, my previous interests and passions have dulled. It's hard to see the point in doing anything.

>> feeling a calling to do something to help others or even the whole world

I would like to get to this place. I try to remember this from A Course in Miracles when I'm feeling pressured to perform:

I am here only to be truly helpful. I am here to represent Him Who sent me. I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me. I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me. I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal. (T‑4.XI.8:2‑6)


For me, the dark night came on gradually as more and more that I loved was taken from my reality. I've experienced depression and anxiety during the spiritual hardships leading up to the pandemic, but this is different in that it came from a deeper understanding of my connection with it all.

Before, at least I had a scapegoat and could blame other people or trauma or any number of things. But after learning about stuff like manifestation and source consciousness, that we're all one, I had to face myself. That's when I realized that my perceived failures were things that I had largely brought on myself. And that even the trials of life might be teachings that we volunteered for before we incarnated in this life. Like life doesn't happen to us, it happens for us, as messed up as that seems sometimes.

I heard of A Course in Miracles from Marianne Williamson, who is someone that I admire. But I haven't read it yet. With spiritual learnings, it often feels like wisdom comes to us, and then validation when we read that the ideas are ancient. Versus scientific thinking where maybe there is so much obsession with evidence that skepticism rules and sometimes we have trouble seeing the obvious truths before us.

On that note, I feel that "modern" culture is so obsessed with determinism that it forgets that science may never be able to explain something as basic as consciousness. And that all subjective experience comes down to chaos (magic). I believe that quantum physics is an attempt to explain the foundations of chaos. And that any macro-scale stochastic/emergent behavior follows the same rules as quantum physics because it's rooted in the same chaos. Meaning that our thoughts and interactions with others create deterministic effects in the world as surely as our conscious application of scientific principles.

I've just started learning about reality shifting and the application of magic. I've dabbled in manifestation over the years and found that it works, but that manifesting from the ego can backfire. Now when I meditate, I might set an intension like "help me find a more equitable reality for everyone" or something along those lines that is more love-based.

Something that helped me is, even if we're all one, maybe there's still something more. A higher power beyond us, that somehow created all of this. It's endlessly loving and forgiving and doesn't mind that it took us all this time to even begin to notice it. Maybe that's our soul, or source consciousness, or higher self, or a creator or creation itself. Maybe it's aliens, I don't know. But since it's not deterministic, it isn't bounded by space or time or effort. It just is. It can create an entire universe just to house a single consciousness for any of us as easily as we turn on a light switch. For me, that mystery creates a sense of meaning, bringing me back to the central miracle of conscious awareness.


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