You're missing quite a bit of understanding here. First, I think the biggest concern is young men, who maybe haven't even had the chance to develop these social skills because they are born with the internet. Second, pick-up type skills (or any cold approach type activity) easily atrophy over time if not consistently employed. Shit, one year into a monogamous relationship and I suddenly get anxious at the thought of approaching strangers in a social setting, something I was quite comfortable with 13 months ago.
I'm also the complete opposite of the ADHD types who forget things, are late, miss details, etc. I'm pretty sure that happened because I subconsciously developed a whole series of tactics and systems to make life less challenging over the years. But that just added new issues around living and dying by to-do lists, becoming addicted to "accomplishment" (at any level), constantly in my head 24/7 about what I need to do next, what hasn't gotten done, how I'm going to do all the things I want to finish. Also wouldn't dream of announcing this to colleagues.
I think I’m the same. I was forced in my middle school to use a planner every day for every class which was honestly one of the smartest parts of my public schooling experience. It still took years for me to be effective with it but it was ingrained early to document absolutely everything I need to do and to know that if I don’t it’s absolutely not going to get done. This includes stuff like setting timers constantly for mundane things like starting my laundry
May I suggest not downvoting this into oblivion? We need to shine a light on this type of thinking, as it is representative of many others towards ADHDers (including many ADHDers themselves...). I have this wrestling match internally on the daily - "Am I being lazy right now or suffering from ADHD? Can I power through with determination and grit, or soften my approach and do an end-around using tactics learned in therapy?" Magnify that x1000000.
We've all encountered (in person or online) self-diagnosers, and even worse, those who make ADHD their entire personality, and calls for the world to change itself to make life easier for others. If that's your most frequent engagement with ADHD, I get how you could have OP's type of response.
"I am not my thoughts." Or, as I prefer, "these thoughts are not mine." Experience that over and over again and everything gets a little easier, a little clearer. That's when the detachment from thoughts begins.
> Reading the rest of the thread, you HN'ers are very blessed to be ignorant that such a program exists.
By this logic pretty much every single person in existence is "blessed to be ignorant" of the thousands (more?) of potential ailments they aren't facing right now. Seems like a silly POV.
No, it does not imply that. Ignorant simply means "lacking knowledge". You're implying the separate term "willfully ignorant" means the same thing as ignorant. If it did, then willfully ignorant would be redundant, which it is not.
For a time, I tried modifying my behavior by hiding downvote links on via a Stylus CSS:
[title=downvote] {
display: none
}
I had an already high upvote:downvote ratio, but this made me even more conscious of the few times I bothered to downvote a comment (because it meant I had to take extra steps to disable that CSS). I mostly only downvote for flamebait or outrageously unproductive comments.
