The issue with any parent's narrative, including yours, is that it's one-sided. We'd need the story told by the children-turned-adults to make any fair judgement. Some people are going to say what their family wants them to hear and only open up to professionals or a neutral third party.
> We'd need the story told by the children-turned-adults to make any fair judgement.
True enough. Of course, you are not going to get that in this case. All I can say is that those commenting here about potentially cataclysmic consequences are likely precisely the kind of people who will practice the kind of soft "friend class" parenting that can result in really troubled kids. If they even have kids at all, because some of the comments by others sound infantile.
The other narrative that is utterly false is that of role models in the negative sense. Almost all of you are one or two generations away from a culture and style of parenting where beating the kids was considered normal and even good parenting. An era where teachers beating kids in school was also normal and accepted. And yet, that has largely not survived the generational divide except in some segments of some cultures.
Raising kids and being a role model isn't a matter of single events or experiences, it is, like most other things in the human condition, a matter of building a relationship over time and understanding that life usually is a rollercoaster ride, not a straight-and-flat road.
Plenty of porn exists for free, posted online by models or digital artists. It's archived in places that circumvent copyright, don't require payment or accounts, and are easily accessible.
pornography is not a profitable industry. even famous participants like 'mia khalifa' only made GBP9.5k (USD 12.8k) lifetime earnings. The average onlyfans has about 21 fans, with an average subscription price of $7.20.
the future of the industry is probably ai slop, personalised ai, and so on
one of the purposes of the porn industry in 00s was money laundering: cash only, large stores with no CCTV, very sparse records, not possible to objectively value why a dvd was being sold for $85
A monitoring solution might have worked for my case if my parents had monitored my Internet history, if they always made sure to check in on what I thought/felt from what I watched and made sure I felt secure in relying on them to back me up in the worst cases.
But I didn't have emotionally mature parents, and I'm sure so many children growing up now don't either. They're going to read arguments like these and say they're already doing enough. Maybe they truly believe they are, even if they're mistaken. Or maybe they won't read arguments like these at all. Parenting methods are diverse but smartphones are ubiquitous.
So yes, I agree that parents need to be held accountable, but I'm torn on if the legal avenue is feasible compared to the cultural one. Children also need more social support if they can't rely on their parents like in my case, or tech is going to eat them alive. Social solutions/public works are kind of boring compared to technology solutions, but society has been around longer than smartphones.
You can argue that many parents are less than ideal parents, but that is not sufficient to justify having the state step in. You also have to show that the state is less bad.
Decades of data on the foster system strongly suggests otherwise. The state, by any objective measure, is terrible at raising children.
I don't think it would have helped, given the outcomes for foster children are near universally worse except in the most extreme cases of abuse. I did threaten to call CPS but I was, of course, berated for it and threatened that I would be taken away, so that shut me up. Since I was never assaulted I doubt it would have reached the standard for foster care anyway, yet the consequences still endure to this day.
I was told over and over by in hindsight unqualified persons that emotional abuse wasn't real abuse, so after a few years I was disinclined to seek help.
If I had had even one person that supported me unconditionally instead of none at all, even if that person wasn't a parent, I'm fairly certain I would have turned out differently. That was just a matter of luck, and I came out empty-handed. I never felt comfortable talking about what I was exposed to online with anyone, and that only hurt me further, but I was a child and couldn't see another option.
I'm going to state that at one point I was one of the young people this kind of legislation is meaning to protect. I was exposed to pornography at too young an age and it became my only coping mechanism to the point where as an adult it cost me multiple jobs and at one point my love life.
I don't think this legislation would have helped me. I found the material I did outside of social media and Facebook was not yet ubiquitous. I did not have a smartphone at the time, only a PC. I stayed off social media entirely in college. Even with nobody at all in my social sphere, it was still addicting. There are too many sites out there that won't comply and I was too technically savvy to not attempt to bypass any guardrails.
The issue in my case was not one of "watching this material hurt me" in and of itself. It was having nobody to talk to about the issues causing my addiction. My parents were conservative and narcissistic and did not respect my privacy so I never talked about my addiction to them. They already punished me severely for mundane things and I did not want to be willingly subjected to more. To this day they don't realize what happened to me. The unending mental abuse caused me to turn back to pornography over and over. And I carried a level of shame and disgust so I never felt comfortable disclosing my addiction to any school counselors or therapists for decades. The stigma around sexual issues preventing people from talking about them has only grown worse in the ensuing years, unfortunately.
At most this kind of policy will force teenagers off platforms like Discord which might help with being matched with strangers, but there are still other avenues for this. You cannot prevent children from viewing porn online. You cannot lock down the entire Internet. You can only be honest with your children and not blame or reproach them for the issues they have to deal with like mine did.
In my opinion, given that my parents were fundamentally unsafe people to talk to, causing me to think that all people were unsafe, then the issue of pornography exposure became an issue. In my case, I do not believe there was any hope for me that additional legislation or restrictions could provide, outside of waking up to my abuse and my sex addiction as an adult decades later. Simply put, I was put into an impossible situation, I didn't have any way to deal with it as a child, and I was ultimately forsaken. In life, things like those just happen sometimes. All I can say was that those who forsook me were not the platforms, not the politicians, but the people who I needed to trust the most.
I believe many parents who need to think about this issue simply won't. The debate we're having here on this tech-focused site is going to pass by them unnoticed. They're not going to seriously consider these issues and the status quo will continue. They won't talk with their children to see if everything's okay. I don't have many suggestions to offer except "find your best family," even if they aren't blood related.
Digital media use is easier to conceal than weapons. My parents did not protect me from it growing up because they were not responsible, and I was harmed as a result. To this day they still do not realize I was harmed, because I did not tell them and we are not on speaking terms. Trying to be honest would have resulted in further rejection from them. This was on a personality level and I had no way to deal with this as a developing human.
I could not control how my parents were going to raise me, I was only able to play with the hand I was dealt. I hate the idea that parents are sacrosanct and do not share blame in these situations. At the same time, if this is just the family situation you're given and you're handed a device unaware of the implications, who is going to protect you from yourself and others online if your parents won't? Should anyone?
Some people would argue though that if the friend group is on Facebook/Discord or whatever, and they aren't going to move off to cater to the person rejecting those services, then those services are at least essential to maintaining those social ties. They decided that giving up their data was a tradeoff worth it.
What remains to be seen is if the outcome of teenagers becoming social pariahs is really worse than the alternatives.
If not joining social media with friends has been seriously detrimental to teens by making them social pariahs, I'm sure we'd have heard plenty of horror stories by now, as these services have been around for over 20 years. Compare against the horror stories we have heard about those who have gone down the dark roads social media has opened to them that ended in tragedy.
reply