
My Life at 47 Is Back to What It Was Like at 27 - mooreds
https://medium.com/s/meghan-daum/my-life-at-47-is-back-to-what-it-was-like-at-27-eb7a071b3598
======
IronWolve
One of the things about getting older and divorced, people use to join
organizations at higher rates, now we moved to online communities and an
online/mobile life.

With a fulltime job and you working till death, you don't have time to do
much. The local eagles/lions/moose/etc club, you at least got to go out and
have dinner, chat with people, make friends, etc.

I checked out the local Masons lodge, and I was at least 20 years younger so I
didn't ask to be sponsored. My friend in Ireland joined the Masons, he says
the lodges are filled with younger people from 20s and up.

I read the "Starting over" and think, did you change your hobbies and
activities too? There's so much to do now, how can one be bored. Even a trip
to the library and parks is cheap and free.

~~~
mooreds
I am a member of a fraternal order similar to the Masons ( [https://odd-
fellows.org/](https://odd-fellows.org/) ). It's great because:

* There are standing meeting nights that I can go to for social contact

* It does good work in the community

* It lets you meet folks outside of work circles

* It lets you have an opportunity to build soft and leadership skills

* If I have to leave for a while because of work or other time commitments, I know I can rejoin in 1, 5 or 10 years and be welcomed back.

Highly recommend. Even easier if you can get a group of folks to join. And
most of the older members I chatted with were thrilled to have new members.

~~~
andyidsinga
I'm seriously considering something like odd fellows (thanks for reminding me
of them) - exactly for the non-work social and community aspects - but with a
secular flavor ( I have some family members who are in the Lions club). A
buddy of mine mentioned "mastermind" groups too.

(ps. fwiw - portland or)

~~~
mooreds
Odd Fellows may not meet your needs, but optimists or rotary are a good
option.

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dpeck
| In 20 years, my life has come full circle, 360 degrees for real. People
often say 360 degrees when they mean 180. They say full circle when they’re
really talking about a semicircle.

I've never experience this, is it common for some group of people to use 180
to mean "the same" vs "completely different"?

~~~
mywittyname
That caught my eye too. Maybe it's a west coast thing.

In the midwest, to do a 180 is to go in a completely different direction, and
to come full-circle is to return to where you were after some long journey.

~~~
rconti
No, I think she just poorly wrote it. "Coming full circle" always means to
return to where you started. But sometimes people say "turned it around 360
degrees" when they really mean 180.

~~~
magduf
Yep, Americans don't understand basic geometry any more.

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jsharf
I think there's more to life than settling into a fixed set point. Life is
interactive: you can improve your experience by putting in the right kind of
effort and getting lucky. For example, the author wrote this article and made
a strong connection with a bunch of strangers on the internet. Even if the
author doesn't feel that way, I do, and that's enough for me. Agency is a
muscle, exercise it!

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gamesbrainiac
This article is so very sad. The author seems to be in a constant state of
Deja vu.

~~~
ProAm
It depends on how old you are. Life is funny and never turns our how you
thought it would. I do like going back and reading the article "Advice, like
youth, probably just wasted on the young" by Mary Schmich (popularized by Baz
Luhrmann in the song 'Everybody's Free') from time to time[1]

[1] (snippet)

> Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth oh nevermind; you will not
> understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded

> But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall
> in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how
> fabulous you really looked… You are not as fat as you imagine Don't worry
> about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying
> to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum

> The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your
> worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday

~~~
js2
I'm 47, a father of two, happily married to high school sweetheart, about to
send first kid off to college. I also found the article very sad: not even a
pet to cuddle. :-(

But, the piece is well written and I don't think the author is sad, nor asking
for sympathy.

So I'm conflicted in how I feel about it. The author also seems conflicted
about whether she wants a man in her life.

~~~
justinclift
Their life seems to be a journey and direction different from the norm, yet
they seem to be fairly ok with it.

It also seems like they'd be pretty unhappy if they'd had a life like yours
(father of two ...), more because it's not suitable for them rather than there
anything being wrong with it.

Overall, seems like an interesting - and potentially useful reminder that "it
takes all kinds to make the world go around". ;)

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fenesiistvan
Can't read, because medium.com says: "You read a lot. We like that. You’ve
reached the end of your free member preview for this month. Upgrade for
unlimited access."

~~~
icedchai
Click the X in the corner of the popup and continue reading.

~~~
egypturnash
I'm getting a popup with no X.

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BrandonMarc
Well that's 7 minutes of my life I won't get back.

~~~
distances
I, on the other hand, found the article extremely interesting and well
written, even so much so that I saved it to my meager list of articles I may
want to reread later.

