
What Dreams May Come - jmadsen
https://d4l3.com/dreams
======
darthclue
Jonathan here. Being woke up by my wife crying because the donations just
aren't stopping is both heart-breaking and comforting.

For those of you who haven't seen the 'Bucket List' post, here's what it says
at the very top:

As I try to deal with the reality that is my impending death I can't help but
wonder how many things I might have been able to accomplish given just a
little more time. When I was diagnosed, I had only one thing that I wanted; to
live long enough to see my children grow up. The reality is that the odds of
me living long enough to see my children grow are quite slim. The only
available treatment will eventually stop working and then it's just a matter
of time.

This is the list of things that I want to accomplish while I still have time.
Many of them aren't for me. They are for my family. They are meant to provide
security for my wife and kids so that they can celebrate my life instead of
mourning my death when that time comes.

My priorities are taking care of my family just as they always have been.
Sometimes, we just can't plan far enough ahead to deal with something like
this. If you saw the original page you would also note that Trips and meeting
celebrities is not high on my list of priorities. Those are things that would
provide me with a small boost on an emotional level but I don't consider them
something that must happen before I die.

Life Insurance: I changed jobs and don't have any and now that I'm terminal,
the cost for obtaining it is prohibitive. I agree that this is poor planning
on my part, however, I'm 35 and no one expects to find out that they are going
to die at 35. We all think we have plenty of time and the reality is that we
don't.

Health Insurance: Thank god that I have this or we would've been sunk from the
beginning. Despite having insurance, there continue to be ongoing costs and
once I go on long-term disability I'll be paying cobra rates to keep the same
coverage. I have no idea how expensive this will be but I don't expect it to
be cheap.

This really isn't about me or the money, this is about my family and trying to
ease their pain. I know that I'm living on borrowed time right now and I could
be dead at any moment. All I want to do is spend as much time as I can with my
kids so that they know I loved them. You try telling a 6 year old that her
daddy has cancer and will be dead before she turns 8. Hardest thing I've ever
had to do and I would never wish it any one.

For those of you that have helped us, thank you is not enough.

~~~
300bps
I was happy to make a donation. This hits close to home because my wife was
diagnosed with Stage 0 Melanoma-in-situ when she was 35 years old. We have
three kids of our own and imagining them growing up without their mother is
terrifying. Fortunately, we caught it at Stage 0 though which has a 100% cure
rate. So let me stand up on the soapbox for a minute:

Everyone should go to a dermatologist every year for an all-over skin check
starting when you're in your 20s. That's what my wife did and it's what I
started when I was in my late 20s. It's literally the difference between dying
young and growing old.

To stay on the soapbox for a minute, everyone should really have at least
$500,000 in life insurance when your wife is pregnant with your first child. I
pay about $1,500 per year for $2.0 million in life insurance above what my
employer supplies me (3x salary). You really, really need term life insurance
outside of what your employer offers. Just think - if you get very sick and
lose your job, you don't want to lose your life insurance as well. Don't get
whole life - it's generally a rip off. Just get term life insurance. I have a
ladder of 10 year, 20 year and 30 year policies that expire as I get older and
need less life insurance. In fact, my 10 year term policy just expired a
couple months ago (my oldest son is 9.5).

Also, get disability insurance outside your employer's policy as well.
Policies supplied by employers are typically worthless. It's generally good to
get an "own occupation" policy because otherwise you can be denied payment
because you're able to work a McDonald's drive-through even though you've been
a surgeon your entire life.

~~~
franl
Great points all around, thank you for making them! Please don't help
perpetuate this myth about whole life being a "rip off" though. Your statement
is semi-accurate, but a bit misleading.

 _Don 't get whole life - it's generally a rip off_

Yes, if purchased from a non-mutual, financially shaky insurance company, it's
quite likely a bad idea.

However, when purchased from a financially strong mutual insurance company
(Northwestern Mutual, Guardian Life, etc.), it can make a great complement to
term life insurance (and can be beneficial to the overall financial plan for a
number of reasons).

One wouldn't want to "fully" insure themselves with whole life (that'd be cost
prohibitive and inappropriate from an asset allocation perspective), but
again, as a small piece it can make a lot of sense.

Anyway, didn't mean to detract from your overall points. It's hard to put a
specific number on peoples' insurance needs without knowing their situation,
but the spirit of your points was spot on. Especially about "own occupation"
disability coverage - which I think is especially relevant for programmers.

TL;DR on insurance: Talk to a professional that you trust, figure out what
amount of protection makes sense, and get protected. Term life insurance is an
affordable way to get a lot of financial protection for your family. Your
ability to earn an income is perhaps your greatest financial asset (edit:
assuming you have many working years ahead of you), so treat it as such. Think
about protecting it with disability income insurance.

I'm heartbroken every time I read one of these deeply personal stories. The
situation is already stressful enough - one shouldn't have to worry about how
the family will keep the lights on.

[Source: I once worked in financial services]

~~~
300bps
I'm in IT but I am also a CFA charter holder (Chartered Financial Analyst). I
disagree wholeheartedly on your assertions on whole life. I have only seen
whole life be an appropriate investment vehicle for very wealthy families that
are doing estate planning. There may be other times where whole life is
appropriate but I don't know what they are. In almost all circumstances
someone would be better off buying term insurance and doing their own low-fee
investing somewhere like Vanguard or Fidelity. They've made it so simple with
Target Retirement funds.

~~~
khafra
> There may be other times where whole life is appropriate but I don't know
> what they are.

$80,000 for cryonic suspension, which is most likely to be successful if you
die of a terminal illness; which is most likely to happen when you're old
enough that term life insurance is ridiculously expensive (but could happen
when you're young, which is why to go whole life instead of just investing and
then paying up front for the suspension).

~~~
300bps
If term life insurance + self-invested funds nets more money than whole life
insurance then it is better to buy term life insurance and self invest your
funds.

The problem with whole life are the massive profit the company takes and the
massive commission the salesperson takes. If:

A represents the value of a term life policy after costs

B represents the value of investing after costs

C represents value of a whole life policy after costs

In all circumstances I've evaluated but one, A+B comes out ahead of C. The
only circumstance where C has a chance of coming out ahead from what I've seen
is as part of an estate plan to minimize taxes.

------
ryandetzel
As a father in my thirties this hits home but I can't help but wonder __WHY
DON 'T YOU HAVE LIFE INSURANCE? __This is what it 's for! For the cost of a
few dinners out a year you could have 500k of coverage and right now you'd be
spending time with your loved ones instead of worrying about money.

Please, if you have dependents (people that need your income) buy life
insurance. It's cheap (if you're young and healthy) and death can happen to
anyone of us at anytime for any reason.

/ end rant.

I feel for you though, this is super sad and I can't imagine not seeing my
kids grow up. I wish you the best.

------
jmadsen
OP here:

His donation page is at: [https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/w704/beating-
cancer-o...](https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/w704/beating-cancer-one-
dollar-at-a-time-with-jonathan-dale) which can handle the load much better

Should have thought to put that up earlier

~~~
makmanalp
Anyone notice that the SSL cert for the donation page
([https://secure.giveforward.com/donate/119408](https://secure.giveforward.com/donate/119408))
has issues? Firefox says "does not supply identity information".

Someone noticed here but got a canned answer:
[http://help.giveforward.com/customer/portal/questions/124352...](http://help.giveforward.com/customer/portal/questions/1243524-ssl-
certificate-isn-t-identified)

Could anyone verify that this is fine? I'm going to donate if it is. Thanks!

edit: Looks like safari is fine with it, and a IceyEC mentions chrome is fine
too. Probably firefox just being overzealous. Donate away!

~~~
IceyEC
Chrome is perfectly happy with the cert

~~~
killnine
im getting 'page is not secure' loading with insecure elements such as
pictures.

Loading mixed (insecure) display content on a secure page
"[http://static.giveforward.com/favicon.ico?1394547964"[Learn](http://static.giveforward.com/favicon.ico?1394547964"\[Learn)
More]

------
lnanek2
Kind of bizarre seeing someone else's value system which is completely alien
to my own. If I was leaving my wife and kids with mortgage and car loan debt,
I wouldn't spend $10-20k on a graveyard plot, that's for sure. I don't think I
would in any case, I'd just get cremated or whatever the cheapest option is.

~~~
futurist
Right. I think this is what bothers me about this list. It's material driven.
There's a saying that goes (paraphrasing) "don't wish for better
circumstances, wish to be a better person."

 _For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose
his own soul?_ Mark 8:36 KJV.

Jonathan, you and your family _must_ look to the Lord Jesus Christ. He is your
judge. Through Him all things are possible.

~~~
jeffehobbs
Give me a break. Think about what you are saying and how and to who you are
saying it.

~~~
futurist
I did. How about you do the same?

------
bherms
It's sad that when we find out something this devastating (you're dying), that
we have to spend our last weeks/months/years worrying about, of all things,
money. Nobody deserves this sort of thing happening to them, and when it does
happen, it hurts me to think they can't spend their last months on earth
focused on enjoying time with their loved ones and instead have to live in
fear that their family is going to be able to survive without an extra
paycheck. It should be a time of finding peace within the chaos that is life,
but instead it's like adding insult to injury. :(

~~~
melling
There are over 7 billion people on the planet. A day doesn't go by without a
story like this. We just don't hear about most of them. Someday a person like
this will simply go to his doctor, get a prescription, and go on to live a
normal life.

Rather than dwelling on sadness, maybe we should ask if there isn't something
we can do, as a group, to make that day arrive sooner. What would it take to
cure, or at least treat, cancer(s)?

~~~
theknown99
Without sounding unfeeling, do we really want to add to the overcrowding and
population explosion problem that much?

Earth is full. Our population has _doubled_ in the short time I've been alive.
Doesn't that scare the shit out of anyone else?

Imagine what would happen if you suddenly cured all forms of cancer. People
would live even longer. Population would shoot up. Lack of housing, lack of
jobs. More pensioners...

edit: Downvote brigade... why am I wrong? What's going to save us from our own
'success'? How many more billion people can the planet take?

~~~
brownbat
Malthus was wrong.

Hans Rosling, "What Stops Population Growth?"
[http://www.gapminder.org/videos/what-stops-population-
growth...](http://www.gapminder.org/videos/what-stops-population-growth/)

In Malthus's model, new people only consume food and breed. But we do this
other cool thing, too, we also think about human problems and how to solve
them. We all add resources to the computer of humanity.

Some really cool, like Norman Borlaug, go around the world and teach people
how to grow more reliable crops, stopping famines, increasing the reliability
and scale of the food supply while lowering the resources it takes to produce
the food. It's sometimes said he's saved a billion lives. He did so without
increasing the strain on others, but by spreading knowledge and increasing
efficiency, maybe even lowering the strain on the planet.

Humanity's ability to solve problems isn't in a flat linear relationship with
how many people we have either. If we just have 100 people, they all have to
farm all the time, and can't stop and think about much. With a billion people,
we get economies of scale, so we just need 40% to be farmers, and we can have,
say, 20% work on logistics, 10% work on massive aqueducts and public
infrastructure, and 10% be scientists and inventors.

At a certain point, every additional person makes it easier for more people to
survive on the planet. And yes, there is some raw physical limit to population
on this rock... but visit the Russian Taiga, Wyoming, Namibia, or Mongolia.
We're nowhere near that point yet, it's several orders of magnitude away. And
if you note Rosling's points, we probably won't keep growing anyway.

He notes that population growth is really a switch towards health systems with
lower infant mortality. You have previous generations that keep having 10 kids
because only one or two of them will survive, then the health conditions
improve and suddenly all of them survive. The next generation or so reverts to
normal family planning, having just one or two kids. Malthus was wrong to
suggest that people just breed as much as humanly possible.

All that said, I don't think you should be downvoted for asking a question. If
we buried every premise we disagreed with, we'd never get a chance to lay out
the reasons we believe the opposite, we'd never convince anyone. We'd just be
insisting on dogmatic agreement, rather than any actual understanding of the
complex issues.

~~~
aestra
Norman Borlaug is the father of the Green Revolution. Green revolution
agriculture techniques require a massive amount of oil and gas as inputs.
Eventually we're going to run out of those. When oil prices start to spike,
people will starve. Also it has decreased diversity to only a few high
yielding varies of crops making our food supply more susceptible to pathogens
because of lack of biodiversity.

As well as a whole host of other problems, such as people switching to
profitable crops to export rather than to feed the local population.

~~~
brownbat
I'm familiar with the criticism, but remain unconvinced that:

1\. oil and gas are strictly "required" as an energy source

2\. energy consumption of these methods is higher per yield than traditional
farming

3\. oil/gas will run out in any meaningful time frame

4\. peak oil/gas will be sudden or catastrophic

5\. adaptation to new conditions is impossible

6\. exporting profitable crops is a net social loss for a local population (or
even the stronger corollary, that locovorism is ever beneficial)

Some of those are contentious areas, matters of continuing study. Some are
probably hyperbole, and we'd likely agree on more moderate formulations. Some
I'm pretty firmly convinced are incorrect. Even if they were all just mildly
suspect, though, it's a lot of shaky steps for me to take all at once. So I
remain cautiously optimistic, skeptical that food insecurity due to Borlaug's
methods and oil shocks will have any meaningful impact for the next fiftyish
years. I guess there's some chance, just seems exceedingly unlikely to me.

That said, I think you laid out your criticism of his methods in a clear and
concise way, and while I disagree with some of the premises, they're not
radically unreasonable or anything, I can see how one would stand by that
conclusion. Have an upvote for a well formulated dissenting view, something we
should all encourage whenever possible.

------
huhtenberg
While this is up at the top - [http://www.skincancer.org/skin-cancer-
information/melanoma](http://www.skincancer.org/skin-cancer-
information/melanoma)

~~~
epsylon
Unfortunately, your comment isn't at the top.

There are very simple guidelines that can help prevent melanoma, especially
for people at risk: \- Avoid exposing your skin to the sun, especially when
it's high. Use high SPF (30+) sun screen (water resistant if you'll be
swimming); wear longsleeves, hats and sunglasses. (Good sunglasses are
important, as you can have _ocular melanoma_ ) \- Obviously, don't use tanning
booths. \- Plan a visit with a dermatologist at least once per year. This is
very important. Just like you'd get your tooth, eyes, etc... checked every
year, take the habit to see a dermatologist. \- If you're especially at risk,
regulary check your skin for signs of changes. Nowadays it's easy to take
pictures with a digital camera (or phone) so that you can see how the spots
and moles evolve.

How do you know if you're in the population at risk? If you have moles, _OR_
are fair-skinned / haired, _OR_ have freckles (all of these are usuall signs
of an overall general sensitivity to sun exposure), you are at risk.
Obviously, if there are family antecedants of skin cancer, you are at risk.
Also, if your work or hobbies expose your skin regularly and for prolonged
periods of time to the Sun, you are at risk.

Personal story: I have a friend who has had a mole removed in the knee, and
which proved to be ultimately (after testing) malignant. Fortunately this was
caught early. And I've had personnally a mole removed in the back, though it
was found to be benign. Skin cancer risk can be greatly reduced by these
simple precautions, so please people, try to follow these.

------
girvo
I feel nothing but sympathy for Jonathan. I can barely imagine the pain he and
his family would be going through :( What are the medical costs for someone
with terminal cancer in the USA? I assume they're pretty astronomical, so I
can understand why he'd ask for help (I'm donating myself).

In terms of his house and the like, I was always led to believe that life
insurance was specifically for cases like his? Is life insurance a big thing
in America? My parents have always had a lot of cover, but I'm pretty sure
that was because of my Dad being a civil engineer and foreman, so his work was
sort of dangerous. I don't know much about how life insurance works, mind you,
so I'm sort of guessing here, for all I know Jonathan doesn't have any or if
he did he's not covered for something like this (and to be would require
premiums that are huge, or something). Anyone shed some light for me?

Good luck Jonathan. I'm not a religious person, but I can hope for the best to
occur, however unlikely.

~~~
noonespecial
_What are the medical costs for someone with terminal cancer in the USA?_

From the limited sample size I've gathered with sadness thus far: For serious
cancer, terminal or not, the system seems designed for the cost to be
"everything you have" whatever that happens to be.

~~~
boothead
That is the most fucked up thing I've read for a long time. For a "health"
system to be designed to suck everything out of a person of someone who's
already dying is vile.

~~~
chii
that's what it means to have a "free market" capitalist system. The demand for
health is essentially infinite - the person dying of thirst in a desert will
pay their entire fortune for just one cup of water.

~~~
adventured
America hasn't had anything even remotely resembling a free market Capitalist
health system in over 40 years. Starting in the mid 1960s, the US Government +
states, with Medicare and Medicaid, began to take over a massive portion of
the healthcare system, and directly began dictating regulation and costs,
while conspiring with insurance companies, big pharma and lobbyists to
restrict competition and raise costs. The US healthcare system became a giant
political toy, played for votes and milked for crony cash by politicians,
lobbyists and corporations in tandem.

Although I'm open to a demonstration as to how I'm wrong about that. Last time
I checked, health insurance typically can't even cross state borders due to
hyper regulation. I don't think you can get further away from Capitalism than
the US health system.

------
terragold
I have sympathy for this guy as a human being with cancer, especially with a
family and all. But I have no sympathy for this guy as a person and for the
financial choices he has made.

Having 4 kids, big house and car, expensive grave, need to travel, meet
celebrities screams greed, irresponsibility and entitlement.

You could have not had 4 kids and had 2. You could have rented a place and
bought a used car. The problem isn't wanting something better, the problem is
that you decided to buy those things without earning it and with money you did
not have. All these are choices you made as a person. And to take your family
down with you is selfish and irresponsible.

Definitely won't be donating.

~~~
hfourm
Look I get why people are complaining about the expensive funeral and travel
expenses, but don't question his character for having 4 kids. Even more so, if
you don't want to donate -- don't, no reason to go all nerd mode about it.

~~~
jessedhillon
Why is that an illegitimate criticism? Kids cost several tens of thousands of
dollars in their first decade. A family which can't afford a $190k house and
an old Buick should probably consider well whether they can afford 6 kids.
Spoiler: no, they can't. Isn't it better to raise 2 kids in lower-middle class
than 6 in utter poverty?

------
vans
Sorry if i seem to be rude, but even if you're dying, you're still a human
being and i will respect you. So, i won't be full of mercy and so on, i'm just
going to be genuine. Your story is sad, as the story for million of people
dying from this shit. But, if i help you, maybe i'd be ok with my conscience
but this won't change anything for the 999 999 people remaining. If i choose
to give money to fight against cancer, it would be for research and not for a
particular case (even if it's sad). That being said, i truly understand that
emotion and love drive me to give you some money, but i have to stay efficient
and fair.

~~~
Fomite
You're treating these like they're exclusive goals. There's no reason you
can't give to more than one cause.

~~~
glhaynes
But any money you're giving can only be given once.

------
n_coats
I live in Orlando, 30 minutes from all the parks. Please reach out to me if
and when you and your family make this trip. I will help in any way I can. I
know, from my personal network, that I can help in getting free tickets and an
employee rate at one of the park hotels. I'd be more than happy to provide
transportation for you and your family to and from the airport as well.

If you make it this way, please contact me, I'd love to help!

------
mynameishere
Depressing that someone facing death would worry about Disney World and Casa
Bonita. I spent a vacation at Disney World when I was 9 years old and
recognized it as a plastic mold-injected bore--not in those words at the time,
but good god I knew it was a tiresome waste of life, even at that age. Casa
Bonita is a South Park episode. Enough said about that.

But hey, you're the one who didn't buy life insurance like a responsible
parent, so a non-sad sob story is your only chance of paying off your SUV.
Great. Why do I care about your SUV? Also, why do I care whether you get a
pricey funeral rather than a county funeral? Also, why are you more important
than all of us who are born to die?

Also, why was this posted?

~~~
jquery
> Also, why was this posted?

Very meta of you. Who are you to judge what someone likes? If you don't want
to donate, fine, but do you also have to spit on the beggar as you walk past?
Your post is vile.

~~~
Aloha
HN is a community first, I wish people would remember this - I'd rather see
posts about us taking care of our own, rather than:

Check out my new app its X for Y New Agile Ruby Framework..

Or any other number of buzzword compliant posts.

------
jreed91
Hi johnathan. My father just passed away from stage IV melanoma. He was 52.
Luckily he left us financially sound. But if there is anything I can do to
help you out please don't hesitate to ask. I've done my research on any
treatment you could possibly have to beat this cancer. Melanoma is becoming
more beatable every day and people are living for years even when they are
stage IV. If you have questions please email at jreed91@gmail.com

------
eXpl0it3r
Yet another example why I try not to make any debts, especially when it comes
to such large numbers, because you never know what tomorrow holds. Either you
have the money or you don't. It really saddens me that it's normal nowadays to
live on debts. I rather live my life less luxurious but debts free.

After all, I wish them all the best!

~~~
adventured
Obviously to be fair, generally people don't expect to get a potentially
terminal cancer at 35 either. At worst one might think they have 20 or 30
years to deal with a mortgage taken on at 35.

I can't find a fault with taking on a mortgage at 35 when you have a family.
Particularly if you can afford the payments. I'd argue given the historically
low cost of mortgage debt today, the cost of renting + trying to save to one
day buy a house for your family, is a worse choice.

------
linker3000
This hits a nerve - a neighbour (in the UK) is dying of a brain tumour and the
NHS does not have the facilities for effective treatment. There's a
fundraising campaign to send Gavin to the USA for specialist treatment which
may save his life, and he's just been told he may not be around this time next
year without it.

[http://www.helpgavin.co.uk/](http://www.helpgavin.co.uk/)

Good luck to everybody facing similar timelines.

[Edit: I can't spell]

------
xwintermutex
Two years ago, when I was 28, a 20cm large tumor was found between my lungs,
after increasing problems with breathing. I was lucky enough to have "the
right cancer", and to live in a western nation. As far as scans can tell, it
is gone. I wish this guy the very very best.

------
baby
> Prepare for / pay for my final arrangments : $20,000

I'm not here to bash, but with so much money problem why do people want to
spend so much money on their death? If I die I just want people to get rid of
my body in the cheapest way possible. Just burn me or give me to science.

~~~
pokstad
OR a tibetan sky burial:
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sky_burial](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sky_burial)

It's considered to be a one last sign of generosity to nature when you no
longer need your body. Also, it was probably started because the land is too
hard and tough to dig up in the mountains of Tibet (a.k.a. cost effective and
practical).

~~~
syntheticnature
Note: may not be legal where you live.

------
snarfy
Skip the resting place costs. Get a dirt cheap cremation. Do the funeral at
home. It really doesn't matter. My mother passed not too long ago and I
inherited half a dozen dead relative's ashes to go throw away. Your family
will be much better off with the $20k than with memories of a church and
possibly a tombstone to go visit maybe once or twice in their lives.

------
avenueb
The #1 reason I limited myself to 2 kids was so that I did not have to drive a
mini-van. The #2 reason was my concern I could not adequately provide for
them.

------
chaostheory
> Pay off our mortgage : $186,000

This is a little strange to me. Unless he was a freelancer, every tech job
that I'm aware of has decent life insurance options that would easily cover
this. If you add a few more dollars it covers college as well.

I definitely can't stress the importance of getting life insurance from a
reputable company.

~~~
gallamine
My company only offered a $50k insurance policy.

You can purchase $500k for <$20/month for most people.

~~~
chaostheory
yup that's my point.

------
danielweber
This comment page makes me rage.

About a third blame the guy, as if buying a house at the age of 32 is crazy.

About a third just use his tragedy as a soapbox to knee-jerk blame the
American health care system, as if people dying of cancer in other countries
don't face a loss of income.

The remaining third give me some hope for humanity.

~~~
jiggbenice
That about sums it up.

------
MatthewWilkes
20k for a funeral? Really? Seemed legit until that.

~~~
jiggbenice
Good grief...the comments on Hacker News never cease to amaze...

...just to give a representative example, last September my Dad died. 1) We
had his remains cremated. 2) We got said remains without anything fancier than
the cardboard box they came in. 3) We scattered his ashes ourselves as a
family without any visitation, funeral ceremony, or anything.

No gravestone, no casket, no wake, no ceremony, no officiant.

Total cost: $6,000.

$20,000 is absolutely realistic if he wants to be buried with an average
casket, average headstone and average ceremony.

~~~
genwin
It was $6K just for cremation? Or you had other costs?

~~~
jiggbenice
Well, from our perspective that's all that was done -- his body was cremated
and given to us in ash-form. But I'm sure from the funeral home's perspective
they did whatever preparations they had to do, processing, helped us put his
obituary together and submitted it to publications, administration costs, etc.

------
ilovecookies
Even though I feel for your situation... Seriously this has nothing to do with
hacker news. This is more of a reddit post that has snuck in here somehow.

~~~
ak39
Exactly. Maybe a social experiment to see how folks react to internet begging?
Dunno. But why is it here on HN?

I'm not saying that the story isn't genuine, but there's no evidence or proof
that it is and yet people are donating. That's amazing. Or maybe not.

------
thinkpad20
My dad died from cancer at 36. I was 10 and had a 7-year-old brother and
11-year-old sister. I guess I can relate in some way, being on the opposite
end of it. I'm sure I don't need to tell you to spend as much time as possible
with your kids, because they will treasure every memory as they grow up. My
heart goes out to you and I wish you and your family the best possible.

------
piyushpr134
Tragic as this story is, I would like to raise a point that could make life
easier in event of untimely death i.e. term insurance. Term insurance is
something that one should always get after getting married (or even before if
your family is dependent on you). Multiple term insurances can be bought so
you can keep buying more as your liabilities increase.

~~~
laichzeit0
In some countries if you have multiple life-insurance policies, only one of
them may actually pay out.

Be warned.

------
johnnymonster
This really sucks! Does he not have any life insurance? I remember when I was
working full time, I had a life insurance policy worth 5x my salary, which
should cover the costs for the things he wants to pay off. After becoming a
contractor, this was one of the first things I secured. I didn't want my
family to be left with nothing when I died.

------
koala_advert
These title changes are getting ridiculous. The original title was actually
descriptive. I have no idea what this article is about without going to the
comments or clicking on it. The whole point of a link title is to describe the
link.

------
josh_fyi
Let me get this right.

Major diseases are the most important reason for health insurance to exist.

But in the US, if you get a major disease, you lose your job, then within 18
months your coverage, and then the insurance is gone.

Is this correct?

~~~
345723
Not anymore. Now you can get an individual policy that can't be terminated and
the price is fixed based on age.

------
kartman
I hope for the best for you. One suggestion to use as you see fit, the
overhead on the donate is quite high - maybe you can create and list a bitcoin
address you control on your blog.

------
BrandonMarc
This set of comics seems apt.

[http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Cancer](http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Cancer)

------
tirant
I feel very sorry for him, one shouldn't need to think about money when he has
just (hopefully not) a few months left.

Said that, wouldn't it be cheaper for him and his family to move to an
European country, and get therapy there?

In most europeans countries you just pay a low and flat rate (around 100€ a
month) and you can get Cancer treatment or whatever is needed.

I really want to help him, but I hate that at the end all the money will go
into the greedy american health industry.

~~~
genwin
Wouldn't he have to become a citizen first, or at least have a job there, not
just be a tourist?

------
jankerz
My father was in the same situation when he was 38 and somehow managed to make
it to 48. I truly hope you are graced with the same luck as him.

------
mmphosis
The lifetime risk of developing cancer:

    
    
       Males:   43.92%
       Females: 38.00%
    

[http://www.cancer.org/cancer/cancerbasics/lifetime-
probabili...](http://www.cancer.org/cancer/cancerbasics/lifetime-probability-
of-developing-or-dying-from-cancer)

------
bigs204
Looks like the website might be on the verge of getting hn ddos'd. Can someone
inform him/possibly hook him up with mirror/hosting? I think opening up
bitcoin wallet will be helpful too.

Memento mori - deepest thanks for a wakeup call.

------
alandarev
The story is particularly touching, as it is a 'regular' person speaking.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, you reminded me of my own vulnerability
and that we all have to be prepared for the worst case scenario.

Best of my sincere wishes.

------
eric_the_read
My father died at 38, from a cancer, and I just had some severely atypical
skin removed. This story hits very close to home for me. My deepest sympathies
go to everyone involved.

------
frade33
I wish I had enough money to help you out. All I can offer is, a sincere
prayer for you and your family. May God help you and your family and ease your
the trouble.

------
jkochis
Whatever you do, don't eat the food at Casa Bonita! They require you to
purchase a meal in order to go in, but DO NOT EAT IT.

You can eat the sopaipillas though.

------
ktzar
Instead of donating to this guy I'd prefer to advocate for a free health
system and a system that doesn't fuck up a family that has had enough bad luck
to see its father die.

Having someone in his last months of life begging for money to not leave his
family screwed up seems like a waste of those precious last weeks.

~~~
morgante
> Instead of donating to this guy I'd prefer to advocate for a free health
> system and a system that doesn't fuck up a family that has had enough bad
> luck to see its father die.

It doesn't appear that health care costs are a major issue in this scenario.
Even with universal healthcare, a dead breadwinner is going to significantly
impact a family's financial situation.

------
jordangurnzz
Jonathan good luck man I have stage 4 Melanoma with tumors throughout as well,
been on b RAF for a few months and getting in to til ( I hope) end of month.
If you ever need someone to talk life or death with please reach out. Jordan
jordangurnzz@gmail.com chemoblog.WordPress.com

------
danieltillett
There is nothing I can realy say other than I wish you and your family the
best.

------
northband
Curious if you've heard of [http://phoenixtears.ca/](http://phoenixtears.ca/)
I don't know if it works for everyone but I can vouch that it does for some.

------
sq1020
Everyone's death is impending. Life is by it's very nature limited. It baffles
me as to how some very intelligent people seem to believe that we can "beat"
death, that death can be cured! What a curious notion advocated by none other
than the director of engineering at Google!

Someone once asked a sage, "Why do we fear death and cling to life so much?"
The sage said, "We fear death because we have prepared nothing for it while we
have constructed for ourselves a comfortable, familiar life. Why would you
look forward to going to something for which you haven't prepared anything and
why would you look forward to leaving something for which you invested all of
your time and effort?"

------
siculars
How about a Star Trek catan tabletop webisode with OP, wilw, aw and fd. Just
film as a regular episode and don't mention the C word. I'm sure someone here
could reach out to @wilw...

------
danielweber
Changing the headline on this article REALLY REALLY SUCKS.

------
Ygg2
:( I lost my grandma to cancer, but from what I've heard cancer in young
people is even more devastating (young cells reproduce more quickly).

------
shivmsit
Cancer is devastating and heartbreaking. I lost my brother at age 24, felt
agony of cancer patient. Don't know why we can't cure cancer?

~~~
manish_gill
Read up "Emperor of All Maladies".

~~~
shivmsit
I read it, but I'm hooping that we will find a cure. It took 100 years to find
a cause of scurvy.

------
edwardchiapet
Donated -- stay strong, man!

Love your story and your priority list!

------
mattholtom
The giveforward site is now really active. I hope it is load friendly because
it is being hugged very hard right now..

------
grifpete
Is no help possible from the new personalized targeted T cell therapies?

------
napolux
Is there any PayPal account available?

~~~
syntheticnature
Looks like it's being done here, there is some discussion of it upthread:
[https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/w704/beating-
cancer-o...](https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/w704/beating-cancer-one-
dollar-at-a-time-with-jonathan-dale)

------
peter303
Star Wars VII in late 2015

------
stefantalpalaru
So the house you purchased and the van you upgraded to are not yours,
disposing of your body costs more than a car, visiting family means you have
to stay in a hotel, the basic survival needs of your wife and four children
are not guaranteed and you want to visit Disneyland and meet celebrities
before you die?

Capitalism is beautiful.

~~~
adventured
What Capitalism? America is the largest welfare state in history. Total
government expenditures are nearly the size of China's GDP. What we have is
corporatism, plunder by a combination of bureaucrats + government protected
corporations (see: Verizon, AT&T, Comcast, Exxon, Pfizer, etc).

I wish we had Capitalism. All we have is an extraordinarily misdirected,
poorly run welfare state.

~~~
chongli
You can't separate the state out like that and pretend it's not a player.
Capitalism is what gives rise to corporatism.

Oh, and _welfare state_ is not a bad word. Some of the most prosperous and
equitable countries in the world are welfare states[0].

[0]
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nordic_model](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nordic_model)

~~~
adventured
A poorly run welfare state is a bad word, to so speak, and that's exactly what
America has.

Some of the worst functioning countries on earth are also very poorly run
welfare states. Feel free to point out several poorly functioning, free market
Capitalism countries though.

Socialism is what gives rise to Corporatism. The intrusion of government into
the economy - rather than the proper separation of the two - through
regulation and bribes, opening up a flood gate of protectionism, lobbying and
special favors.

I'm well aware of the arguments on the nordic model. Most of them had to
reform their poorly functioning welfare models over the last few decades (see:
Sweden).

[http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2009/0803/international-
invest-...](http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2009/0803/international-invest-guide-
obama-sweden-public-downsizing.html)

~~~
chongli
If you acknowledge that "welfare state" is not a bad word, then why not just
say "a poorly run state is bad"? Adding the word _welfare_ serves only to
confuse and misdirect the reader.

~~~
kissickas
Maybe because it's common knowledge that America is poorly run.

------
kimonos
This post makes me sad.. I hope and pray that you recover and enjoy life
longer..

------
triberian
Sorry to hear, look into THC oil.

------
edem
Take a lot of Omega3+D vitamins and live on instead.

~~~
brunoqc
Bullshit.

~~~
edem
Typical ad hominem reaction. :)

~~~
brunoqc
I'm not attacking you. I'm attacking your claim.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad_hominem](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad_hominem)

