
Ask HN: Life advice for 25yo Web Dev, single, no debt, $30k/£20k savings - UK_Web_Dev
If you were a 25yo Web Developer (Full-stack Dev), single, no debt and had $30k&#x2F;£20k savings, what would you do?<p>Please bear the following in mind:<p><pre><code>  - I am based in the UK
  - I did not go to College&#x2F;University
  - I am self-taught
  - From the age of 16-20 when I was learning
  I didn&#x27;t party a lot or go out much
  - From the age of 20-25 I was in a
  long term relationship
  - I have been a tech co-founder of a company
  which grew to $7m&#x2F;£4m turnover at its peak
  - From the age of 20-25 I was working 60-70 hours
  per week, both in employed jobs and
  growing the company I was a co-founder of
  - I have no debts
  - I have a core group of friends who I see perhaps
  once per week but they are slowly getting into relationships
  - I am currently freelancing for the company I was
  a co-founder of (I sold my shares)
  but I am working from home
</code></pre>
Sometimes I look around and I am grateful for the way everything has turned out. Having said that, I can&#x27;t help but feel I have missed out. I never had my &quot;party days&quot;, never travelled and I am working and living out of a apartment in the UK, which with my line of work, could in theory be anywhere in the world.<p>Some weeks go by and the only people I see are my family members, 1 or 2 friends and I may go out on the odd date now and again. My friends no longer want to go out to bars and clubs because they all did this when they were younger.<p>Part of me would love to put all of my belongings in storage, take my laptop and freelance from around the world.<p>My monthly outgoings are $2,500&#x2F;£1,500 for rent and bills (I live on my own) and this is covered by my freelance work (8 hours per WEEK) so I barely have to touch my savings.<p>I want to meet more people, make more friends, meet more girls, have fun, come across exciting work opportunities, etc but I am not doing this right now.<p>What would YOU do?
======
jgrahamc
Do something that has nothing to do with any of this.

True story from my first week an university. I was a typical bright, nerdy guy
away from home for the first significant amount of time. I decided that I had
to do _something_ to force me to not stay in my room and it had to be
something that was going to get me to meet people unlike me.

So I looked around and went for something well outside my comfort zone:
ballroom dancing. I had no idea how to dance at all, but you can learn to
dance and you dance with women. Also, all the other people there were in a
similar situation (some had danced before) but most were doing it to try
something new.

I don't know what's going to work for you, but there's something out there.

~~~
davidw
I spent a lot of time hanging out at a salsa dancing club. It was a great way
to 1) do something not nerdy 2) meet a lot of women, and 3) get a small sense
of what said women are like in short order. You can tell a lot about someone
by how they dance and react and behave. I also found it fun. Also, it's enough
of an acquired skill that not just anyone can walk in and be good right away,
but not so hard that you have to spend years getting any good.

~~~
circlefavshape
Not sure I agree with the last part - it took me 2 years of weekly salsa
lessons to get comfortable on a dancefloor

Having said that, I can't recommend dancing highly enough, it's added an
enormous amount of joy to my life. Programming scratches an intellectual kind
of itch for me, but dancing scratches a much deeper one

~~~
davidw
Depends on the kind of place you frequent. The one I went to was perfect in
that some people there were very good, but most were average, and people were
there to have fun and meet others, not to show off, mostly.

------
Jem
It's not too late to have your "party days". I am 28, I have 2 children, a
mortgage and a full time job (as well as freelancing on the side). At the
beginning of May I ended my 12 year relationship (manipulative, emotionally
abusive ex) and jumped head first into a proper social life for the first time
EVER. If I can do this whilst juggling being a lone parent / working 2 jobs /
etc you have no excuses. :)

So go out to bars and have fun (who says you have to go with friends?!), date
more, travel, take a class, swim in the ocean, jump from a plane, write a
bucket list and do it all! Whatever, just make sure you seize life and get on
with it.

Oh, but before you do all that, let me know how you manage to make enough to
cover your bills in 8 hours so that I can jack in the full time job and spend
more time with my kids ;)

~~~
Ixiaus
How? He's had a successful startup under his belt and he's also a programmer,
companies pay a lot for that type of experience (I know because I'm doing that
right now, I also got bought out).

~~~
Jem
The last line of my comment was tongue in cheek, sorry if the ";)" didn't make
that clear.

------
gregschlom
You can never go wrong with travel. It will expand your mind, take you out of
your comfort zone, and change you as a person.

I like to travel slow. At least one month in each place. That gives me enough
time to rent a place for a month, with is cheaper, and to really get to know
some people.

Don't bother doing freelancing until you have to. But if there's a side
project that you'd like to work on, do work on that!

I've been spending 3 months in Cape Verde, loving it. After that don't know
where i'm going. Indonesia maybe?

Travel travel travel, travel as much as you can! :)

~~~
epsylon
I'm curious to know how do you find places to rent for a month.

~~~
Sindrome
Airbnb, Flipkey, VRBO, Homeaway are all short term/vacation rental sites.

------
eyeareque
Use couchsurfing and go travel. It's free, but you also get to meet some
amazing people.

Try online dating. Tinder/okcupid. Meet some younger girls who still like to
go out and party.

Take up active hobbies that force you to be around other people. Yoga, indoor
rock climbing, dancing is another good one.

Try meetup.com to meet new friends and activity partners.

If you have the freedom to travel, why are you staying in your apartment!? You
can settle down when you're old and grey. Get out and explore the world.

~~~
raarts
This. Is good advice. Take it from a grey guy.

------
edw519
_What would YOU do?_

Stop thinking about myself and start thinking about others.

Find someone who needs help. Help them. Repeat.

Before you know it, instances will become classes and you'll have more
important things to do than you could have ever imagined.

And a real nice byproduct will be that you will have addressed your original
issue far better than you could have by focusing on yourself.

~~~
galfarragem
Generation X and Y had a easy childhood and learnt to be egocentric and only
think about themselves. Even philanthropic initiatives are only masks to feed
their ego and personal development. Ex: voluntourism
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volunteer_travel](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volunteer_travel)

Disclaimer: I'm in the frontier between these two generations. I was taught to
be like this.

I wish I wish I could be like you advise. I can listen my father words in your
words. By the way I read your book, great ideas there.

------
notjustanymike
I'm 32, and last week I got a puppy. She is adorable and I love her dearly,
but now my free time has been completely wiped out (don't worry, it'll come
back eventually). During this week I've had a lot of time to reflect on what I
liked doing, what I should have been doing, and what I was doing. I think if
you want inspiration for how to spend your time, try doing something for a
week that completely eliminates it. Try fostering a puppy! After 3 sleepless
days you'll have elaborate fantasies of how you could have spent all that
freedom.

I'm totally not projecting, I swear! ;)

------
yitchelle
Get outside your comfort zone and disconnect yourself from the tech world.

I was in a similar situation, except I did not have that much money at the
time. My wife and I sold everything that we have, bought a caravan and a car
to tow it. Travel the east cost of Australia. Did jobs like cucumber picking,
laboring for house building, fishing at the local beach for our daily meals
etc. It was tough going with my wife as we learn about each other that we did
not know before (the situation forces it). At the end my wife and I were
closer, and we were much more rounder as a person.

------
rwhitman
At 25 I would already have blown all my savings on basically not working
partying and traveling. Actually that's pretty much what I did..

But I crafted that lifestyle for myself specifically after having a pretty
lonely miserable time living in my home city. Shortly after school I was in a
sort of similar situation living alone, working in tech, not making new
friends, spending weekends with family, not meeting girls etc. I knew some
friends who moved to LA, so I disposed of everything I owned and moved out
there. I completely stepped out of my comfort zone and lived with a bunch of
guys in a fratty situation in Hollywood as it was becoming colonized by
hipsters. New friends, parties, women all this stuff I was isolated from back
home just became my lifestyle all of a sudden. I bounced around road tripping,
went to Hong Kong randomly. Its something that really changed the tempo of my
life in a way I would never pass up.

I probably set myself back a lot financially and career-wise. I lived in the
bay area for a time, I got bored and moved back to LA to party. I turned down
tons of business opportunities. Do I regret it? Not really. I'm not rich today
at all but I met my wife during that time, all of my best friends. I learned
how to balance freelance and life so I have ample free time while still paying
the bills.

So basically do something that makes you happy. Get out of your comfort zone.
Put yourself in the places you'll have the opportunity to make the most out of
socially. Reinvent yourself. Its worth it.

Just don't blow all your money.

------
Bebelbop
Go travel the world while freelancing before you get in another serious
relationship. You only live once and a whole world is out there you haven't
even experienced.

If you goto backpacker destinations you'll meet tons of people your age, from
all over the world, looking to go on adventures and have fun. Most of these
places are relatively cheap compared to the UK/US, have existing communities
of freelancers and you get to experience another culture/way of life.

For the last 1.5 years I've been living in Thailand doing freelance work. The
quality of life, people I've met and life experiences far outweight even my
best years back home. I'm 30 now and I look back and wish I would have made
the leap to go abroad at 25.

The other big benefit is that you can save a lot of money with little effort.
I try to not work more than 4 hours a day and still save more money than when
I was working full time in the US. Plus the lifestyle I can live in Thailand
is amazing in comparison to the US. 1 monthof living frugally back home
(Seattle) is what I would spend living it up for 3-4 months in Thailand.

~~~
hoju
I found expat community in Bangkok shady. Whereabouts are you based?

------
fasouto
> What would YOU do?

First of all, relax! you are only 25 you have all your life in front of you.
The best years in your life are about to come.

In your case I will travel for a couple of months on your own. Go to asia,
south america... you'll have a lot of new experiences and get to meet some
people.

Also you can practice an sport or get a new hobby like playing an instrument,
you have a lot of free time and you'll meet new people.

------
blisterpeanuts
What would I do? Well, at your age I was a tech geek climbing the learning
curve, albeit sans your entrepreneurial skills, but for what it's worth....

I moved away from the big city to a small New England seacoast town and
commuted to my technology job. It was an artist/writer colony and I began to
meet all sorts of creative types, cranky traditional New Englanders,
fishermen, artisans, and like minded others seeking alternatives to the big
city.

I started going to local folk dances, I joined the local community chorus and
sang with them for a year. I took modern dance and ballet classes. The dancing
led me to dust off my rusty musical instruments and start jamming with
friends, which led to playing music in folk dance bands, and my social life
just expanded unbelievably.

Ultimately I met my life partner as well as many other friends in this
community, and we now have a child who's growing up in that community as well,
taking her to Scottish dances and square dances and the like, a very wholesome
community for children versus the typical TV culture that I myself grew up in.
By the way, I recommend raising children; it's the most challenging,
satisfying, crazy, and rewarding project I've ever been involved in!

I often recommend that guys in a guys' world like technology and engineering
try folk dancing or other "soft" arts that tend to attract women and cool
other guys.

If you're not into dancing or such things, that's cool, and there are myriad
other activities out there. Our modern civilization may have its share of
problems but it also offers rich cultural opportunities that are distressingly
under utilized by many young people.

Whatever you choose to do, enjoy life and know that you have many decades
ahead of you to explore the world and raise a family if your path takes you in
that direction. Best of luck and stay healthy!

------
peteretep
Oxford University offer an MSc in Software Engineering. It's meant to be part-
time over 4 years, but occasionally people come in and decide to blitz the
whole thing while being a fulltime student - you could take 1 - 4 years over
it, depending on how hard you want to work, and how much fun you want to have.
You don't need an undergrad degree if you have strong experience. Expect it to
cost £25,000 in total. You will be a full member of the university, with
student card, and membership of a college with an active social life in a city
with two large universities. You'll end up with a degree, which will make
working abroad much easier in the future, relive the student days you never
had, and learn a bunch of interesting stuff.

Alternatively, upsticks and move to Bangkok. You'll find it easy to make
friends.

I've done both, so feel free to email me (in profile) with questions about
either.

------
andy_ppp
Travel and while you are doing it learn to scuba dive. I could barely put my
head in the water without panicking when I started. There is something magical
about floating and you can see down 25-40 meters below you. For example a
night dive around a ship wreck or seeing all kinds of mind blowing under water
wildlife!

I suppose in a non-self help way life is about living a bit outside of your
comfort zone... so what are you scared of? Do that.

Make certain that the flight is one way and that you aren't just dipping your
toe in like I did at the start of the year. You need to be able to flow while
you are travelling (having to deal with a flat or stuff that's not tied up
back home is shit) and it's really easy to meet people if you can book a
highly rated hostel room. "Hello" works.

I think I've just given myself the bug again, why is it so grey outside on
July 11!

~~~
k-mcgrady
>> "Make certain that the flight is one way"

Be careful with this. I had to book a one way flight once but it actually
worked out more expensive than booking a return. So sometimes it might just be
cheaper to book the return and not use the return trip.

------
basicallydan
One thing I'd say is, if you're going to go travelling don't label yourself as
a hacker or entrepreneur or freelancer.

Don't prepare your intro story. "Hey, I'm Steve and I've just decided to go
travelling but I'm a hacker and I had this startup and then I freelanced..."
etc. Just say, "Hey, I'm Steve. Nice to meet you." The rest can come out
naturally! It's good to meet people from all walks of life and by preparing
all this backstory you might overwhelm people or become a caricature of
yourself.

Oh, and if you _do_ go travelling, and need someone to take over your
freelance work - please get in touch. I'm basically the same as you but 26 and
_not_ single, not planning to pack it up and take a break just yet.

Good luck.

EDIT: And hey if you wanna get a beer some time with someone new lemme know, I
live in London too.

~~~
wwwwwwwwww
introducing yourself using the MIT-definition of hacker is a huge mistake
anyways because they'll ask you how you hack computers or something; which
will lead to you having to explain the difference between the classic hacker
and the MIT hacker - for 99% of people this is the most boring topic ever

------
richliss
Travel.

The best age to travel is now. I had a similar amount of money due to
redundancy so went and backpacked up the East coast of Australia for 4 months,
sometimes on my own, and sometimes as part of organised coach tours and it was
probably the 4 most important months of my life because it opened my eyes to
work-life balance after being on autopilot on the school-college-uni-job
route.

So put your flat stuff in storage, get a backpack and visit:

Hong Kong (because it shows you what life is like if you live to work, and you
can pick up a decent SLR and lens dirt cheap there)

Vietnam (because its amazing)

Cuba (before it changes)

I can recommend Sydney for NYE; warm, strangers sharing beer and BBQ food and
becoming friends. Great people.

If no one wants to go with you then use organised backpacker coach tours where
needed, and you'll meet people and will make friends easily as everyone is in
the same situation.

------
teekert
All that travel advice. Sure, take it. Travel. I didn't travel a lot, 2 times
1 month with my (now) wife (Thailand/Vietnam) and some weeks pasted onto the
back of conferences in the US (New Orleans/Boston/parts of California) during
my PhD. I live in the Netherlands.

I also want to bring in that many of my friends/colleagues are starting
serious relationships later and later in life. Some have children at the age
of 38. Some find out they have a lot of trouble having children. They become
very unhappy.

I wonder how many more people choose like me: Settle down with a woman you
look up to, travel, yes but don't wait to long. Have kids, it is impossible to
imagine the joy they bring when you don't have them.

When your kids leave the house, your are mid-fities and a lot more wealthy. I
plan to take my kids around the world when they are up to it. In Thailand I
met a lot of families with kids in the 6-12 range. They have a great time
sitting on elephants and swimming with dolphins for a couple of dollars.

That said, nothing wrong with a bit of travel while you are still young, you
might even meet your s/o along the way.

I feel a bit of regret reading all these comments, I might have traveled more
knowing what I know now. But I also have to admit I feel quite some anxiety
when I feel a taxi driver is going to screw me over. This will happen a lot.
You have to be the kind of guy that can stand up for himself. Not too social
at certain moments I'd say. Perhaps this is also what you learn when traveling
longer.

I feel I should have traveled more. Not because I feel this constantly but
after reading all this... But then, thinking of the travel I did, I was always
happy to come home again.

Pff, trying to justify life choices because of your post while I should be
working.

Better to regret things you did than things you didn't?

If you walk the footsteps of a stranger you'll learn the things you never knew
you never knew.

~~~
jrub
> But I also have to admit I feel quite some anxiety when I feel a taxi driver
> is going to screw me over. This will happen a lot. You have to be the kind
> of guy that can stand up for himself. Not too social at certain moments I'd
> say. Perhaps this is also what you learn when traveling longer.

So many times, this. I have that exact same feeling when I travel. Big,
unfamiliar, cities make me really anxious. Between making travel arrangements,
because I don't want to get stuck in a place that ends up being a total dump,
or even making plans on what to do with my time when I reach my destination,
and interacting with the local "vendors (taxi drivers, tourist-popular places,
street vendors, etc).

It takes me a few days in a new place before I can get acclimated and familiar
with an area before I can start to relax and enjoy myself.

I, admittedly, haven't traveled a lot and I have only been outside the US on
one occasion, but even inside the US I get anxious. I get so worked up over
making sure every experience is worth while, sometimes it's easy to forget
that the experience, good or bad, is part of the journey and what probably
makes traveling so great.

I assume it gets better with practice, and it certainly falls into the
category of "Do what makes you uncomfortable."

------
clientside
I'm hesitant to share, but it's my actual answer to _what I would do:_

Go to church, whatever your religious affiliation. My church has great, fun
programs for exactly your age. It's where I met my wife and made a lot of
great friends.

------
scheff
When I was 25 I moved to London to work in another country, meet new people,
have adventures ... live life. Prior to that, I was in a similar position to
yourself. This was the best time of my life, and I'm glad I did it at that
age. Most people wait until their midlife crisis to do those things, where it
damages, or destroys, the commitments they have made.

Travelling is one of the most educational, rewarding experiences you can
possibly have.

I would stash my earnings away into an investment, travel the world
freelancing with my expertise, discovering new and amazing realities with
which to live life.

P.S that's what I'm doing now, 20 odd years later. again.

------
reinhardt
Sorry, can't help you, I haven't figured it out for myself either. A decade
older, working remotely, with more savings than I know what to do with, 1-2
friends I see once in while, single, few interests or desires to speak of. All
I know is that the usual suggestions here and elsewhere (travelling, dance
lessons, partying, etc) don't do much if anything for me. I do get a feeling
of "missing out" every now and then but it's more like "missing out whatever
brain hardware/software motivates regular people enjoy things that leave me
indifferent", not the remorse kind of missing out.

------
pinouchon
25 yo developer (Full stack dev), single, no debt, $15k savings. Here is what
I am _not_ going to do:

\- Travel

\- Have fun

\- Meet new people

\- Get out of my comfort zone.

Instead, I am going to quit my job and research artificial intelligence full
time: coursera, hacking on personal projects and hackerspaces. (And at least 1
hour of sport everyday for social/health). When my savings are blown, I'll try
to get a job at numenta or vicarious. If this fails, go back to devweb for a
few years, and repeat.

To all the people suggesting having fun and travelling:
[http://lesswrong.com/lw/jl3/on_saving_the_world/](http://lesswrong.com/lw/jl3/on_saving_the_world/)

~~~
p1esk
Wow, are you serious about this? This is pretty much what I did (am doing
right now).

------
renas
Hi, I am in a very similar situation, located in A'dam, The Netherlands, but I
actually traveled a lot is one of my passions and nowadays still go clubbing.

You are in London, the best place for clubbing and a very nice base for
traveling since most of the low cost flights are from and to London.

Check out Hospitality parties from Hospital Records, they come often to A'dam,
also parties from RAM Records, Shogun Audio, Jungle Mania, Innovation, and
others I am forgetting, this of course if you are into jungle music and drum
and bass :-P

Do what you love, be original, don't worry about others trolling and be happy
as you seen to be.

BIG UP !!

~~~
suhailpatel
Big up fellow drum and bass listener! I go to most drum and bass gigs in
London on my own (none of my friends are into it) and always have a fantastic
time and come out with a massive smile.

~~~
renas
Big man, I drop by London once in a while if there is a massive event as well,
as the WEAREFSTVL2014 for instance, here in A'dam there are plenty of GIGS and
I am always there, first to get in, with my wife, or by myself if necessary.
BIG UP indeed.

did I mention travel and be original? :-P

------
henryaj
Are you in London? (£1500 p/m for rent and bills sounds like London to me!)
There's no shortage of things to do, Meetups, groups, societies, and places to
go.

You're young. So young. Don't worry about your friends not wanting to go out
so much -- find new ones who do, and who are willing to take you out to bars
and clubs to show you the ropes of chatting up strangers, if that's your
thing.

That said, were I in your position, I'd be tempted to do the 'freelance around
the world' thing. I can put you in touch with someone who's doing exactly that
if you like.

~~~
akegalj
I would like to travel and freelance around the world. The thing is i don't
know is it sustainable model. I read this thread and think to myself how
envious I am. Does freelancing mean working at odesk and such sites or what?

------
mburney
When I was 26yo I freelanced while traveling. I had a blast, but if I could
change one thing, I would have saved money (or created passive income streams)
to travel for a year without having to freelance. Why? Because you can have
more fun and adventure if you're flexible with your time and if you have
minimal responsibilities. Staying out until 6 AM in a Brazilian disco with 10
new friends that you've just met is a lot more fun if you don't have to be on
your laptop three hours later to write code for a company in a different
timezone.

------
peterwwillis
Try everything. Add variety to your routine. Ask yourself what you're
passionate about or interested in, and get some good books on the subject.
Expand your understanding of the things you care about.

You might be interested in splitting your time between a long-term investment
and several short-term investments. One example would be buying a house (10-30
year investment) and at the same time developing a bunch of life skills (1-6
month investments). Or travel the world for five years and work on small
projects... Mix the things you want to do, don't just settle for one thing :)

In order to meet people, make friends, lovers/partners, and do fun exciting
things, you have to spread out into the world and discover/try new things you
wouldn't have thought of yourself as being involved in. The one constant I
find is that the people I enjoy the most I encountered by accident whilst
meandering the random occurrences of meeting new people and trying new things,
without any expectations.

Also consider that you're only 25, and than in 5 years you will be a different
person, and in 10 years, and 15, etc. It actually doesn't matter what you do,
because some aspect of you will evolve over time and your plans will change,
which is normal. (For example, five years ago I wouldn't have told you that
i'd become a cook or a trapeze artist, or have a long-distance relationship...
but people change!)

------
nrzuk
I'm in the exact same position at the moment, have a fairly substantial amount
of savings which I was planning on putting towards a deposit on my first
house, but after looking there isn't much around within my price range which
looks like something I'd enjoy improving (absolutely love DIY!) and living in
(being self employed seems to be a huge red flag for lenders!).

I am fairly happy with my life, but its just a bit boring and I guess lonely
at times. Sometimes finding myself trying to make small talk with people at
the gym or in a supermarket as I haven't had any face to face interaction with
another human for days at a time! I did go to university and lived in shared
accommodation for a number of years and had the time of my life, but since
living on my own I seem to have become a bit of a recluse and not as outgoing
as I once was. Doesn't help that many of my friends are in
relationships/permanently skint and are not willing to go out and do things.

Two of my main clients are located in London and I work remotely from home,
both of which have said they would be fine with me travelling as long as I
kept within a few hours time difference. Occasionally I am required to attend
meetings in London at the cost of around £100-160 for a return train ticket,
flights from a european country would probably cost me the same!

My biggest problems are pushing myself to do something new and out of my
comfort zone and breaking the ice with new people as I am incredibly shy at
first. Oh and not forgetting I have the worst hangovers of all time lasting
anything from 2-4 days! haha

------
russgray
I'm going to be the voice of dissent here and say only go travelling if you
_really_ want to (you say 'part of you' would love to go - how big a part?)

Travelling isn't for everybody. Personally I'm a homebody and I felt pressured
to travel when I was younger because all the cool kids were doing it. I never
enjoyed it, regret it, and would trade the experience for the money back in a
heartbeat.

If you really want to get away from it all, then by all means do so and have a
blast. Just do it because you want to, not because the internet tells you to.

As for what I would do, well I was in a similar situation to you when I was
about two years older than you are now. I worked at a successful startup and
rose through the ranks fairly rapidly, but settled at principal developer
level for a number of years and never tried to make the jump into a truly
senior role. If I was doing it again, I would either stay aggressive in trying
to get ahead, or quit and build my own product. Sounds like you've already
done the latter though.

~~~
collyw
I disagree. After I finished university, I worked as a raft guide and
travelled with the seasons. Started here in Europe as that was an easy way to
get in to it. It scared the shit out of me when I got a job offer in Chile,
but I had told everyone about it so I had to go. I was in it for the rafting /
whitewater, but the travelling came bundled with it.

I went and had the best time of my life. It really opens your eyes when you
see how different cultures live. Made me a lot less shy as well.

If you really don't like it you can always come home early.

~~~
russgray
I did come home early. Still regret it.

~~~
collyw
You could go again. The thought still crosses my mind every so often, and I am
nearly 40.

~~~
russgray
I also am nearly 40. I plan to take my kids on an extended jaunt round Europe
when they are 10 or so, but personally I am much more likely to choose resort
holidays or cruises for myself rather than extended backpacker-style
adventures. It's just not for me.

------
petercooper
It sounds like you already have a good idea of what to do in your second to
last paragraph. Go with your gut.

What would _I_ do? Well, I _was_ in your situation 10 years ago, and I
basically kept doing lots of coding for fun, learning about all sorts of tech
stuff, playing video games, and _not_ generally going out, making friends, or
what ordinary people might call 'having fun'. But I'm an introvert who
genuinely loves being bookish, indoorsy and living on the Internet rather than
in real life, so different strokes and all that ;-) If I could dick around on
the Internet for the rest of my life, I'd be a very happy bunny.

Ten years on, I don't regret my decisions and I'm married with kids and doing
well, although I know more than enough people who did regret not living it up
in their 20s and it sounds like you might be someone who wants/needs to do
that in style.. so get on with it :-)

------
ssiddharth
Oh jeez. This post struck way too close for comfort. I'm in a situation very
similar to yours. That feeling of missing out and your friends now in
relationships is quite stark .

I'm watching the comments above me like a hawk for what to do but I'm taking
your post as an excuse to shake up my life. BRB - getting plane tickets.

------
aidos
Have a real adventure.

[http://www.clipperroundtheworld.com/](http://www.clipperroundtheworld.com/)

The boats will be back in London in a couple of days. Go along and talk to
some people who have literally just finished sailing the entire way around the
world. Hear about the incredible things they've seen. The wonderful people
they met and the amazing obstacles they had to overcome. Most importantly,
hear about how much they feel they've developed personally.

I've spent a lot of my life travelling (which is what most people here are
saying you should do). I'd highly recommend it but try to not end up
travelling as a tourist (foolishly, I did for years). My top tip would be to
not travel too much. Go somewhere, anywhere. Live with a local family. Learn
the language. Understand the culture. Your life will forever be richer for it.

------
fblp
A lot of people have advised to do new activities, it can be difficult to
discover the best activities, and be disciplined to do them without having
other people to support you.

What about your solo living situation? I'm the same age as you, except living
in San Francisco in a house of 60 people. I have a roommate who is 27. If you
were in this house there'd be at least 15 activities a week you could join
ranging from swing dancing, to making dinner for 20, to big rides around the
city, to waking up at 545am to serve food in homeless shelters. You don't need
to drag yourself out of your apartment alone, you just ride with the energy of
the people you live with.

Suggest you join a share-house, or even fly over to San Francisco to join a
larger community (I've flown over from Australia).

------
Tarks
Oh I can actually help with this, same age range too I just hit 26, no kids
etc

I think if you go travelling you'll end up repeating bad habits in each new
place because you haven't changed anything about yourself.

I don't like giving advice so I'll just talk about what's worked for me :)

In the last 3 months I got to contract for Microsoft, which meant leaving my
apartment and GF in London and having a place rented in Reading.

I'd intended to play a ton of games in the evenings but the internet
connection there was terrible, dropped every 3 mins. I took this as an
opportunity to do something else and learn a game in real life :p Plus I was a
little out of shape and wanted to fix that and make some non-work friends. For
me I picked Squash because it's a really demanding game of a competitive
nature but it's also easy to practice on your own so I wouldn't be as
embarrassed when I played with others.

I did research etc and spent just under a month in the evenings training on my
own, then I joined the social squash sessions and later on the league. It's a
ton of fun and when you're in friendly competition you naturally gel with
peeps. You meet lots of different people too, I ended up building a site for a
chem engineer who was setting up his own company.

The funny thing is not only did I make more friends through squash, but
because you have something (non-nerdy, I could talk anyone's ear off about dev
stuff or DOTA/Street Fighter etc but not everyone is open-minded enough to
appreciate my nerdier facets :P) that you can chat about with other people you
meet you find they're just generally more interested in you because passion is
attractive, even in a platonic sense.

I did other things too but they aren't as pertinent to your situation, like
starting to go to the gym with people I liked on my team, learning to ride a
motorbike etc, all of which have made me a much more fulfilled person, all of
which I wouldn't of even started doing if I hadn't of picked up that first
activity.

This may sound a bit touchy feely but looking back, I think what was making me
unhappy was that I didn't love myself. That sounds strange but as soon as I
started improving and finding my groove everything else was a heck of a lot
easier. You sound the same, you're trying to reach for something to change
your circumstances and travel is an obvious first manifestation for that, but
I'd suggest changing yourself first and seeing if that makes you happy.

You're lucky, you're looking for what to do next and you have few things to
stop you going in any direction. You're standing on the precipice of you
becoming a more awesome person :)

------
altcognito
* Travel

* Spend your time with quality people

* Build a family

* Be generous, help others

Everything else will work itself out.

------
caiusdurling
Go travel round Europe whilst freelancing, no visa hassle as you're an EU
citizen and travelling is definitely worth it. Either put stuff in storage and
pick a list of countries to go to, or go visit a new city for a week each
month I'd say.

~~~
meric
How would you go about making sure you have consistent internet while working?
Internet cafe? Rely on hotel wifi?

~~~
hoju
Hostel wifi, if that is slow then cafe wifi, and if still no luck then a local
3G sim card.

------
Sodman
24yo dev in London here. I moved to London ~1 year ago, not knowing anyone
here, and meetup.com has been by far the best way to meet new people for me.
If you want to grab a pint at some point hit me up with an e-mail! (in
profile).

~~~
Hansi
+1 for meetup.com great site.

------
Jack000
Similar boat, I quit my job in april to travel. So far I've been to Japan,
Inner Mongolia, and Hong Kong.

I find it's a lot cheaper to rent an apartment than hotels/airbnb, but you
would have to stay in one place for a month at a time, which is mostly ok for
places with a good subway system.

I was planning to change to the nomadic lifestyle forever, but 3 months later
it is getting to be a bit tiring. I find I miss the convenience of having a
car, fast pc, and going to the gym. I may just make it more of a once a year
thing.

shameless plug for my blog: [http://jack.ventures](http://jack.ventures)

~~~
epsylon
Same question that I asked previously on that thread, how do you find places
to rent that's not Airbnb?

(cool blog btw!)

------
Sanddancer
Travel. Take up something completely non-techy, like woodworking or knitting
to meet people outside the tech "scene". Find a co-working place or something
to do your freelance stuff from, to better mentally give a barrier between
life and work. Make sure you have a good Third Place [1]. It sounds very much
like you're in the opening stages of burnout here, and you really, really need
to work on breaking out and making a mark on the world outside of hacker news.

[1]
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place)

------
kyberias
I would go to school and study for a degree in some other field (perhaps
something to do with science). I don't get travel. Waste of money IMHO. You
can meet people and have fun doing other stuff as well.

------
DarkTree
"Part of me would love to put all of my belongings in storage, take my laptop
and freelance from around the world."

It looks like you already answered your own question. This part of you is your
intuition.

You are in the perfect situation to do what many people yearn to do, but are
unable to because of lack of time and money, both of which you seem to have.

Go backpacking in Asia or something. Meet people, drink casually, explore the
culture, and work from your laptop on the side. There are so many
possibilities, and it is up to you whether or not you capitalize on them while
you still can.

------
Banderous
I'm also from the UK and I felt exactly as you did, at exactly your age.

As others have said, travel. Specifically, stay at youth hostels; you will
meet and get to know many wonderful people from all over the world.

When you stay at a hostel, people will tell you of new and fun places to go,
where you'll meet more new and interesting people, and the virtuous circle
begins.

At 25 I left my contracting job and spent 4 summer months travelling Europe.

Perhaps my favourite destination -

[http://www.lakecomohostel.com/](http://www.lakecomohostel.com/)

------
ashleyp
Go for it. Seriously man, why not? You're already regretting missing out on
things now, you don't want to look back and regret not making this choice. If
you do it and it doesnt work out, who cares? You try something else. If you
cut into your savings, who cares? Try something else. Sounds like you've been
in your comfort zone for a while, you're bored, you want to try something new.
Why not listen to that feeling? I've been travelling and never have I ever
been happier.

------
drpancake
It sounds like you already know what you want to do.

I spent two years travelling the world while freelancing. I was building iOS
apps remotely for companies in the UK. You'll be amazed how far the pound will
take you in developing countries.

My advice is to spend six months in each location and try to really live
there. Typical backpacking didn't work for me while also working.

Suggestions: Chiang Mai, Medellin, Bali, Berlin (cheap, but not the same kind
of cheap as the others in this list)

My email is in my profile if you need any tips/ideas.

------
blaze33
I'll go for a 10-20 days hike, check the gr5, gr10, gr20 in France. I'll rent
a room in a piso compartido in spain for a month, centers of Madrid or
Barcelona have an amazing nightlife if you'd like to party, learn some spanish
there. Learn to dance salsa. Go to a windy beach to windsurf. I'll grow my
network, attend some tech meetups. Never eat alone.

And if your friends are settling and you no longer have so much fun with them,
never think it's too late to make new friends!

------
stefek99
28yo Web Dev, married (with babies), no debt, corporate JOB (just over broke,
one month of expenses in my bank)

"What would YOU do?"

I'd definitely go travelling. See the world. Understand culture / problems /
what drives people.

Suggestion -
[http://hackerspaces.org/wiki/Hackbase](http://hackerspaces.org/wiki/Hackbase)
\- get yourself to Canary Islands (plenty of cheap RyanAir flights from the
UK) and figure what to do next from there :)

------
networkjester
In your last sentence, you answered your own question. Don't ask us how you
would want to live your life, after all it is YOUR life. Just live it!

We can give you as much permission as you want. But all of it won't matter
unless you give yourself the permission.

Some say "just ship", in this case, "just start".

Lots of great advice in this thread. A lot of ideas on where to start. But it
will be all for not if you don't let yourself start.

Good luck throwing off the bowlines! ;)

------
basicallydan
I agree with jgrahamc.

Do a Bruce Wayne Gap Year:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7617684](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7617684)

------
pvnick
Travel. You are in exactly the position I'd like to be in when I graduate
(I'll be 26). Use AirBnB or hostels and go anywhere you'd like, living in a
country for a month or two before moving on. Work from coffee shops or
wherever you can find internet. Get in positions where you'll meet people and
keep up with them with facebook, snail mail, etc. You may meet the person you
wind up marrying along the way.

------
hpagey
I would advise you to start investing if you haven't already done so. Keep
things simple to start with. Invest in index ETFs (similar to VTI in the US)
and make sure you diversify enough. Keep some money aside for "risky"
investment and always have cash available for emergencies.

If you are interested in starting another company find a mentor and start
building relationships. Above all, eat healthy stay healthy.

------
vfulco
Keep cultivating ideas, building contacts, realizing dreams thru company
building, building wealth while staying humble. Sounds like you are well on
the way to financial independence which is the equivalency of freedom the vast
majority will never know. Nothing, absolutely nothing better than being
beholden to no one. Anything else is a modern equivalent of slavery.

------
skrebbel
You could go to college in a country where that's free or affordable (northern
Europe). You could even just go for one or two years with the intention of
dropping out early. Learn a fascinating topic (not necessarily tech related),
see a different country without being just a tourist. Code in your free time
when not doing typical student stuff.

------
okalex
Go traveling. Central America is cheap, beautiful, and full of other travelers
(i.e. people who don't know anyone there and are therefore happy to make new
friends). And if you have some work lined up before you go, you can code using
hostel wifi and live like a king (a king that sleeps in a room with 6 or 7
strangers, but a king no less).

------
mattupstate
Don't concern yourself with meeting "girls". Meet _women_ and let it happen
organically through your journeys.

------
ujjain
My dream is living in a Latin American country (I learned Spanish) and do
freelance work online for western salaries, e.g. $60 hourly. I maybe would get
bored of it after 6 months, but with a European passport, you can always
easily go back to Europe. I recently moved to the UK by the way, but just
doing a full-time job.

------
sethammons
Fully fund your Roth IRA. Visit a financial planner. Make sure you have your
plans in place for retirement. Then play.

------
mherrmann
I would do what [https://twitter.com/levelsio](https://twitter.com/levelsio)
is doing: Start different startups, working from cool but cheap places
anywhere around the world, with a lot of travels.

------
artumi-richard
I try to do things now that I won't be able to do in the future. If you hope
to have a family one day, that's going to tie you to one spot, because you'll
want a support network, so you would be wise to travel now.

------
rythie
Much of european hostel scene is full of people wanting to go out and party,
most days you'll meet 5-10 new people and have a lot of fun. You can do it for
a week to see what's like, I bet you'll be hooked.

~~~
k-mcgrady
I second this. I'm just back from a short holiday where we spent part of it in
a hostel and part in an apartment. The hostel was much more fun. New people
from all over Europe arrived everyday. The hostel owner introduced us,
suggested we have dinner together and then we all went out for the night.
Great way to meet new people and not very awkward either.

------
Loque
I would use this opportunity to focus on yourself, what makes you happy
regardless of who else is around. People (men and women) come and go. Where do
YOU want to be, what do YOU want to try out and see if you like?

------
anteht
24yo self-taught webdev here as well, recently relocated to the UK from Sweden
and left everything back home. If you'd like to grab a beer sometime, shoot me
an email (it's in my profile).

------
koj
Huge cliche but it amazes me how life can flip on a minor event, a chance
meeting or conversation.

I think traveling accelerates the possibility of these events happening.

------
qwerta
Go and travel, I would say. Do not change places too often, it hurts
productivity, 1 month is ok.

------
salahxanadu
Take a trip for a month, you've earned it. Go somewhere cheap and interesting.

------
boyter
Travel.

Also take up dancing classes (salsa is a good choice) and possibly learn to
paint/draw.

------
chrismcb
If you can, travel. You will never regret it. And it will be harder later

------
pessimizer
That's not a lot of savings. My advice would be to save more.

edit: Also, "barely have to touch my savings" means that you're net negative
every month, and you're currently not doing anything special. I wouldn't do
anything new that would raise my expenses.

~~~
rickyc091
I think it depends what his goals are. Not a lot if you want to buy a house,
but it's plenty if you want to travel around a bit and occasionally splurge on
fine dining.

~~~
pessimizer
I disagree. $30K savings/$2.5K rent and bills = a year of savings, if you make
sure you never, ever eat and your car never, ever breaks down.

There's something wrong with the finances of somebody who never took out
student loans, has been working for 70 hours a week for five years, has only
managed to save $30K, and is not having _too much fun._

Also: freelancing for a single client that you used to work for is not steady
work. I've never had that relationship last more than a year and a half.
Freelancer fault-tolerance requires at least two clients.

------
gorbachev
Don't have kids. The money will disappear, if you do.

I speak from experience.

------
pskittle
What's a good way to contact you?

------
debonair
Travel to Cape Town, South Africa

------
xchaotic
Travel and meet a girl in Thailand and stay there.

------
otikik
Travel.

------
naturalethic
sovereignman.com

