
Ask HN: How to deal with a senior colleague who acts like he's boss? - happppy
I have a senior colleague who thinks he&#x27;s my manager and talks in a way like he knows everything(in reality he doesn&#x27;t and is transferred to our team because his previous team laid him off). He can&#x27;t understand simple logic and I have to explain him simple logic and then he acts like I don&#x27;t know anything. I can&#x27;t complain to my manager as he&#x27;s a friend of my manager and I am junior and new in this company!
======
cmsonger
It's hard to know how to comment on this because there's a huge range in what
might really be going on. You might be a bozo. He might be a bozo. You both
might be bozos. Or maybe you are both pretty good and both just bad
communicators.

So without really having any insight about what's up here, I have two pieces
of advice.

Ask a lot of questions to understand why he thinks what he thinks. The job is
not to explain to him why he's wrong; the job is to ask enough questions that
you understand why he's reached some specific conclusion.

And focus on getting things done. Forward progress tends to get everyone
aligned and give you something specific to talk about that's productive. If in
the "blah blah blah" he's telling you 'this will never work' then you have
proof positive that he's wrong. Great. If in the "blah blah blah" he's telling
you that your solution is not re-entrant and it's going to crash then you are
going to find out he's right.

~~~
300bps
_You might be a bozo. He might be a bozo. You both might be bozos. Or maybe
you are both pretty good and both just bad communicators._

This should be a checklist of possibilities to consider anytime there is
office conflict.

~~~
chancla35
+1, though I would add “As frustrating as it may be, it doesn’t really matter
who’s at fault because you’ll both end up looking bad if the situation
undermines your productivity.”

------
jyriand
How long have you worked with him? Your language suggest that you are making a
lot of assumptions that might be false. This might be related to the fact that
you are new and as a junior developer it might sometimes feel like people are
against you for some reason. Maybe he actually is like you are describing, but
somehow my gut feeling says that you are projecting your own insecurities onto
him. I'm not dismissing your claim. Actually, he's a great opportunity to
learn how to co-exist with people you don't particularly like.

And be careful how you use your language, just some points that got my
attention:

\- "who thinks he's my manager" \-- You don't really know what he thinks.

\- "like he knows everything(in reality he doesn't..." \-- You don't really
know what he knows.

\- "He can't understand simple logic" \-- I'm sure he can understand "simple"
logic.

\- "he acts like I don't know anything" \-- People act differently, but you
are the one who gives meaning to their actions. If you don't like him,
everything he does might seem bad to you.

EDIT: Formatting

~~~
Veen
I'm not sure this is helpful.

> "who thinks he's my manager" \-- You don't really know what he thinks.

You're taking common turns of phrase and interpreting them literally. Saying
someone "thinks X" usually just means that they "behave as if they think X".
The same goes for the rest of your corrections.

~~~
balabaster
You'd be astonished how many junior developers come into industry knowing
nothing more than their technical brilliance (and they _may_ be truly
technically brilliant) and thinking they know everything. The fact is when
you're starting out, as brilliant as you may be, you have little more than
your technical brilliance. 5 years from now, this same junior developer will
realize he doesn't know everything and will have a greater respect for
everyone he works with... except his juniors who he will probably perceive as
thinking they know everything.

Everything is new, but everything is old. And around and around it goes. The
funny thing about history is that as much as we move forward, so much of our
reality is just a repeating pattern of the past.

Nobody knows anything and we're all just making it up as we go along. For my
wealth of knowledge and experience, which is considerable, there is still _so_
much I don't know. There's still so much _you_ don't know and there's still so
much this junior developer doesn't know. But we _all_ have something to teach
and something to learn. History has shown though that the more junior you are,
the less likely you are to be aware of how much you don't know and the bravado
of youth is still very much in play. There's a reason the phrase "I wish I was
still young enough to know everything" was coined.

Of course, it doesn't help to tarnish everyone with the same brush. There are
those who bring genuine insight, but they are so few that it's a shock when
they do. It's not unheard of, but I'd be surprised if this junior programmer
has any clue what goes on in the heads of his colleagues and is projecting
their thoughts based on a complete lack of awareness of a much larger context
in their heads than in his own.

Communication is the key to resolving this issue. Nothing more.

~~~
bigred100
I’m sure the sentiment up top is true, but the other side of this is that in
technical jobs I’ve had, I’ve driven certain people up the wall by (they would
say) not taking them seriously enough. However, these were all fairly
arrogant, manipulative people. Humble, trustworthy senior coworkers were
always given immediate respect and deference by me. I wonder whether some
people don’t have a natural defense mechanism by writing off even good advice
and expertise from people they can tell are manipulative and untrustworthy.

~~~
balabaster
That's fair, but often those we perceive as arrogant, especially in the field
of engineering have challenges with communication and soft skills. Some never
really learn to overcome that. Those that could easily be perceived as
arrogant are often saddled with an inability to communicate the bigger picture
effectively. This can come off as arrogant until you've spent a few months
getting to know them.

That's not to say there aren't those who are manipulative and untrustworthy,
there are many of those too - with plenty of ego to overcome or sidestep. It's
something to be cautious of, but not everyone is as they first appear -
especially in an industry where social skills aren't exactly a strong suit.

~~~
tracker1
I, personally, have quite a few personality quirks... I've been in software
development, specifically in web based applications for over two decades. This
past year, I've actually worked with someone who has pretty much all of my own
personality quirks, but dialed up to 11.

I've never had so many things make so much more sense to me now, than at any
point I was ever given advice in the past.

I've also been through a little bit of management training... The Arbinger
Institute books (been through 2) have been pretty good in this regard too.
"Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of The Box" as well as "The
Outward Mindset"

------
VirgilShelton
I've been there and I still experience this in life with family, friends and
acquaintances.

The trick is to deploy massive empathy for him and know that he's displaying
sure signs of insecurity.

I'm sure he knows that you know he was laid off. He also is intimidated that
you're smarter than he is. But this is life, you'll be continually surrounded
by folks that don't know their place and struggle when confronted with
"threats" like yourself.

Walk in his shoes for a day and if you feel like it start asking about his
past life, his past teams and experiences. Find out about his home life, does
he have kids, did he watch Game of Thrones last night?

Don't take people like this seriously, just know that they're hurting inside
when their behavior makes zero sense to you.

This is what I do and it works!

Finally know that when you dig deeper, you'll uncover that his actions have
nothing to do with you.

------
chasingthewind
Once upon a time our team was starting a new project and there were several
Senior Engineers including myself working with an offshore team. One of the
other Senior Engineers took a very assertive stance as the project got started
and was suddenly telling people what to do, assigning work, and generally
acting bossy. I asked him to come into a conference room to talk and I told
him that I felt frustrated by his sudden assumption that he was in charge of
the technical work when the team's previous pattern had been to share
technical decisions and apportion work collaboratively. He responded by saying
that our management had actually told him that he was being tapped to serve as
the Tech Lead for the project. Our craven management had somehow neglected to
inform the other members of the team of the decision. I was so shocked by the
dysfunction of that decision that I could only sputter something along the
lines of "they should have told us that" and then the conversation ended. Oh
the joys of corporate culture!

~~~
jhauris
I have also experienced something similar. It should never happen, but it
does. Before you get too upset, make sure the supposed bossy peer isn't
actually your supervisor.

------
mrunkel
I'm guessing that you two are having a communication problem as it is highly
unlikely that a "senior colleague" can't understand simple logic.

To be clear, I'm not saying that the problem is entirely yours, but in most
communication problems, the blame lies with both parties. I'd suggest
involving a third party (another colleague) in your conversations and allow
them to moderate the discussion.

In my experience a third party can quickly see where the communication is
breaking down, even when it's not apparent to the two people attempting to
communicate.

~~~
LandR
> I'm guessing that you two are having a communication problem as it is highly
> unlikely that a "senior colleague" can't understand simple logic.

I've seen code written by a senior developer who writes

    
    
       if some-predicate
          // left blank.
       else
         // do something
       end if
    

Because it's apparently too hard to work out how to invert logic. It's a
pattern I've seen in our code base enough that I've started calling it 'if-
meh-else'

~~~
jinglebells
I've written logic like to draw attention to the fact that the ELSE block is
the exception.

Semantically you're not saying "if X is true" you're saying "if X doesn't
happen". It's a subtle difference and this format draws attention to it for
the Next Developer.

~~~
C1sc0cat
That how I would read it too.

------
Ensorceled
There may be something going on behind the scenes; consider that the senior
colleague may have been asked by your manager to mentor you and make sure you
stay on track or may have been told that they need to show "leadership" before
they can get promoted to team lead.

Either way, focus on establishing your relationship with your manager. The
manager assigns you tasks, not the senior colleague. If you disagree with your
colleagues input, follow up with the manager to make sure your approach is
correct.

Also, see if other colleagues are having similar problems (if your team is
larger). If you are correct, you will probably find everybody on the team is
simply ignoring them.

~~~
humanrebar
Agreed. Work with your manager. If you can't trust your manager to help you,
consider finding a healthier situation. Bad teamwork makes people miserable
and can actually stunt career growth.

------
iraldir
Without downright complaining, you should talk to your manager. Friend or not
it is his role to make sure that everything in the team goes smoothly and
people get along with one another or at least can work together. If you don't
provide him with the tools (i.e, the information) he needs to do that, then
he'll just have to find other metrics to explain poor performance. And if that
senior member is a hindrance to your work (make you redo stuff multiple time
or through convoluted ways), then you will look like the "weak link".
Understand, the goal is not to fire that person, or you for that matter, is to
find ways to make you work together. This can be by putting you in different
area of the application for instance, so you don't work on each other's toe.
Or reminding him than senior does not mean manager and he shouldn't tell you
what to do. Or maybe you're actually the problem, and he will have to teach
you a few things so that everything run smoothly. Ultimately, if nothing
works, you might have a fundamental difference on how to approach code than
the rest of the team. For instance, on party might think performance is the
most important thing, and should be seeked, even if it means reusability of
the code, while another party think otherwise. Some might like lean more on
the overengineering side of the scale while another might lean more on the
hacking quickly side of the scale. If that's the case, being the new member
and more outsider, you will have to either adapt your position or leave.

------
mk89
On your own, you can do two things:

1) Leave ASAP

2) Take this as an opportunity to learn something which is really common with
(senior) SW developers

I am not gonna tell you that (2) is easy. It's actually extremely hard, it can
get even harder than what you think right now. However, time-box your learning
experience: how long before you leave? how long before you have a nervous
breakdown? In the meantime, try to learn as much as possible about
communication with this difficult colleague. Some resources you might want to
use are

\- Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

\- Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in

\- Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

Then you can follow any other advice given here, like talk to your manager,
etc. However, be cautious there, especially when talking about someone that
has already some sort of power.

~~~
happppy
I am going with option (2). I am not good at communication skills and I want
to learn how to interact with others.

~~~
mk89
Very wise choice. This will help you in life, not just with this difficult
guy.

Also, beware that even after you have mastered all the great communication
skills you want, etc., you might still not get what you want. It takes a lot
of effort, trial and error, and patience. At a certain point, if you see it's
not worth, in the worst case, you've learnt something.

------
thiago_fm
You can either view it as a learning experience, to handle with him and this
situation... or something very bad, such as, it is his fault for being like
this and there is nothing you can do. I would rather use the first option.

If all other factors properly calculated, the current job position is worth
it, keep it, take it as a learning experience... otherwise leave.

But beware. Companies and people are complex, it is part of your job to deal
with situations as above. If you always run away from problems like this, you
won't improve and grow.

Also, don't have the expectations that you will manage to fix this problem
tomorrow by some magic comment from HN. The only person that can: 1. handle
this, 2. fix this. Is you. Maybe read books on communication and people
problems. But the final attitude comes from you. Take responsibility for it.

And this might take time. But once you manage to handle this situation, you
will have grown. I'm sure.

Also a side note: it could be that he's good, but you don't like him for some
weird reason. I've seen much more developers fighting over this way. Most of
people nowadays have a great deal of problem of dealing with authority and try
to bend the universe in their head to make sure that they are the victim of
the senior+friend from manager.

~~~
gooseus
> Maybe read books on communication and people problems

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is still a timeless
classic that provides an immediate and permanent buff to self-awareness and
social navigation.

~~~
thiago_fm
I can confirm. I have it and read it from time to time

------
motohagiography
The OP could be out of line, but there is another factor in play.

Remember that when a company wants to keep someone, they will tolerate no end
of ridiculous behavior. When they don't care or want someone out, they
tolerate nothing, or invent things not to tolerate.

There is a personality type who cherry picks easy problems from other peoples
queues and then front runs the news of solving them. They create a race to the
bottom environment where to survive in the org, people start competing to
claim credit for insignificant problems and create pressure to neglect the
valuable and hard ones. It also creates "turf," instead of collaboration.

There is a lot of advice that will say, "things are dynamic, be yourself, be
authentic, collaborate," but what advice really means is, "no, the situation
isn't changing, we're not making the jerk accountable, you are the bottom
dog."

A manager who lets this happen is also encouraging it. Maybe the culture is
such that it doesn't matter, and the jerk has protection higher in the chain,
but the effects are clear.

In principle, you can always ask a manager to clarify roles and rules. In
conversations, you can always ask that colleague for clarification of
principles, e.g. "thanks for the insight, and while I balance it with other
priorities, to be clear, do I have a reporting relationship to you, or has
your manager given you direct accountability for this work?" In practice, this
can alienate people by asserting your interest and forcing a decision, and
they may resent you for it.

If they do, find a new job, there are better places.

~~~
bigred100
“There is a personality type who cherry picks easy problems from other peoples
queues and then front runs the news of solving them. They create a race to the
bottom environment where to survive in the org, people start competing to
claim credit for insignificant problems and create pressure to neglect the
valuable and hard ones. It also creates "turf," instead of collaboration.”

These people are the worst. I wonder what inspires people to waste their time
like this instead of learning to do things the right way and making a real
contribution. Low self esteem and bad morals?

------
lacker
Talk to your manager, just be polite about it. Don't say things like "this guy
talks like he knows everything! his previous team laid him off!" That doesn't
seem very considerate.

Instead, you could phrase these concerns like:

"Hey, I've been having a bit of a frustrating time working with X. For someone
of his experience, I thought he would be familiar with some of the simpler
parts of our work, like Y. But in practice he has needed assistance there. It
feels like he has been slowing the team down, rather than speeding it up.

I also feel like his attitude isn't the most productive. When we were
discussing issue Z the other day, he was very insistent about an issue where
he ended up being incorrect, and wasting a lot of the team's time.

I feel like this colleague is used to working in an area where he is very
experienced, and isn't used to this sort of project. Maybe you could talk to
him about it? It's hard for me to bring this up since he's so much more
experienced than me. As it is, I feel like I would get more work done if I
wasn't working together with him."

------
cgio
Go with it. A huge part of experience is learning to work with people you
don’t like. Don’t worry too much about who’s whose’s boss. Also try to assess
whether he’s trying to tell you something right that you cannot understand
yet.

------
hguhghuff
Just absorb it with a smile and put your head down and work and ensure
everyone likes you.

In six months everything will have changed.

Also, read "The Prince" if the really want to know how to survive office
politics.

~~~
eps
That's a bad advice.

What this will do is to allow the existing communication pattern to be
accepted as a norm and it will be extremely difficult to change in the future.
Instead, with a little explicit pushback the OP can express his
confusion/dismay at other dude's behavior, set the boundaries and nip this in
the bud. Literally, just interrupt him mid-sentence and say - Listen,
something's been bothering me. I really don't understand why you are talking
down to me. I don't like it and I find it inappropriate.

But as others have said, you clearly have a communication problem, because you
both think the other one is an idiot :)

~~~
hguhghuff
I've worked with a lot of dickheads.

My only regret in hindsight is not just ignoring them.

Things do move so quickly in the workplace that it won't be long till he or
you is gone or some other circumstance comes up.

I don't think it's always in your interests to confront problem people. Just
nod, pretend to listen then do whatever you want.

Pragmatism man, that's were it's at.

~~~
eps
A lot of dickheads are that way only if they are allowed to run around
unchecked. Nodding and smiling at them is like feeding the trolls, not the
best option.

------
maxaf
Could it be that it's _you_ who doesn't know which way is up? You said it
yourself: you're new to the job and the company, so your judgment being off is
more likely than everyone else being in the wrong.

See if you can tell the story from your colleague's perspective. Perhaps it
might go something like this: "There's this one junior employee who seems to
speak as if he knows everything, but in fact his fundamentals are lacking, so
all I can do is set them straight as quickly as I can."

~~~
happppy
You are right but it was a simple one line angularjs timeout function which
was used for countdown timer and he was stuck on it and wanted me to explain
it to him. I explained and then he was like, ok.

~~~
watwut
Was it one off situation or repeated pattern? The distinction matters.

The rest of it sounds simply like arrogance. Simply said, it is quite common
in software world. To me, it worked couple of times to say that "I know", but
it depends on exact personalities involved. Be careful to not underestimate
him just because he is arrogant and annoying.

Also, what does "act like manager" means? Is he assigning you tasks and
checking time sheets? Bossing you around?

------
gooseus
If he is senior and friends with your boss in such a way that you can't talk
to them (your boss), then he is effectively your boss since he has power over
you.

You may believe you are smarter than him and a better developer and even a
better human being... it doesn't matter because you work somewhere that allows
some nepotism and are willing to continue to pay "Senior" developers who
aren't that good.

If you like the job/company, suck it up and just ignore this person whenever
you can (kill them with kindness and patience when you can't) while improving
your position through adding value and doing your job better than can be
ignored.

If you don't like it, then keep that resume shiny and make sure you do a
little more vetting of your employers in the future.

------
scarface74
You’re a junior developer. Honestly, you probably don’t know anything besides
what you learned in school and you’re finding out that academia is only
slightly related to the real world.

Be humble, be quiet, listen and learn.

I’ve been doing this $a_long_time and every time I start a new job I act like
a junior, no nothing developer until I get both the political and technical
lay of the land.

~~~
as1mov
This is the kind of bullshit advice that alienates people while they are
young. They is no dearth of senior developers who are absolute morons, who
have coasted on the other people's work and the only proof of their expertise
the $years on their resume.

Perhaps I am salty because I am in the same situation as the OP, albeit with a
little bit more experience.

I have one of these senior developers in my current team, who has about 10
years of experience. He consistently tries of evade code reviews, probably
because a good part of whatever he writes is mind boggling gibberish (dead
simple things like proper handling of database connections are not done). Most
of the features he has developed are buggy incoherent messes that require
debugging every other week. He might might be the most brilliant developer in
this hemisphere, but the code he writes and the design decision makes it seem
like might be a mentally disabled chimp. He the second oldest guy in the team
after me, but he isn't able to answer literally any question related to
whatever we've built. Worse, he doesn't admit that he doesn't know it, instead
he spouts bullshit which is misleading or outright wrong and waste hours of
others time.

Even the other so-called senior developers aren't any better, most of them do
the bare minimum to keep things working. The situation is so bad my manager
has started assigning the bulk of the development/deployment work to me and 2
other devs, since nobody else seems to care about anything at all.

So yeah, we don't know what situation OP is in (he might be at fault too), but
outright dismissing his complaints based on his lack of experience isn't
exactly right.

~~~
Rooster61
> mentally disabled chimp

I don't know what your work situation is, but when you start referring to
coworkers with language like this, it immediately makes me wonder if the issue
is with you, not the person you are referring to.

If your code reviews feature this kind of vitriol, I'd probably avoid them,
too.

~~~
as1mov
Heh, maybe it's just the months of pent up frustration that I can't express in
real life. Perhaps if I was bit a more abrasive in real life, I'd be more
rational here instead of ranting incoherently.

------
dqpb
> _I can 't complain to my manager as he's a friend of my manager and I am
> junior and new in this company!_

Don't go through your life like this. Here is what to do:

\- make sure your logic is sound

\- present your case

\- be kind in your demeanor but confident in your position (until proven
otherwise)

Nothing else matters.

~~~
arebours
I'm saving this comment.

------
osullivj
Is your difficult senior colleague assigning work to you? Perhaps in a way
that clashes with the priorities set by your manager? If that's the case you
should deflect his assignments by saying "more than happy to help, but I need
to prioritise this with my manager before working on it." Then discuss
relative priorities with you manager. No need for finger pointing or blame
storming, and no need to make it personal. Frame the conversation as being all
about sorting out competing priorities. If your manager has got a clue he'll
see that your senior colleague is introducing dysfunction.

------
wolfspider
Actually, this one isn't all that hard to figure out. Probably wondering "why"
this is the assumption the senior dev is having. The senior dev obviously
believes you have been hired to help offload or relieve some of the work going
around. What I have seen in this industry over the last 20 years or so is that
this may or may not be true. Upper management needs to clear this up- for the
senior dev. As for the other issue "can't understand simple logic" consider
this is a personality trait for some developers and not a judgement call.
There are some developers which require 100% of the information just to get
started and they still will act naive because that is who they are. My advice
is to not try and change personality traits or spend a lot of time teaching a
lesson here because that could take years. Yes, you read that right YEARS and
still not get the result desired. The last one "he acts like I don't know
anything" probably is more likely "he cannot figure out how to delegate the
work". Again, another upper-management thing and not your problem at all. So-
either talk to him or "the group" but roles need to be clearly defined. Once
this happens you will be onto the next set of hurdles- good luck!

------
gchamonlive
Is his acting like your boss hindering your work? Does he come between you and
tasks to be done or somehow take credit for your work, at the same time
diminishing you or reporting your work as bad when it is not?

If it is only the kind of hierarchical conflict that rise in day to day
conversation and doesn't actually interfere with work, you should give it
little attention. Stand your ground with arguments and reason, and if some
fails that means he was right in the first place to criticise and you can use
the opportunity to be a better professional.

But if he is actively hindering you unfairly you have to do something about it
smartly. Can't really advise as to what specifically, but talking to other
people, finding other coworkers with the same problem is a good start. And
also maintaining good relations with his superiors is a nice idea too. Because
if this is the case it is likely he is doing this to other people or other
coworkers will notice this unfair relation.

In any case, harsh positions are good opportunities to be a better
professional and grow in social skills, if you so choose to see this as an
opportunity for self improvement.

------
smileysteve
> I can't complain to my manager as he's a friend of my manager and I am
> junior and new in this company!

There is a wide range of discussions with your manager about another employee
between work dynamic and friend bashing. It's initially concerning that you
are unaware of this, but it is part of learned working in a political
environment.

You want to objectively present one objective thing to your manager about your
troublesome colleague at a time. This is the opposite of saying that you want
the troublesome colleague fired and more asking that your manager find a way
to coach him and you to work together, and specifically, to look out for your
trouble situations.

I'd start with "senior colleague is making manager type demands or judgements
from me and I need direction on how to prioritize your [manager's] requests
over his."

The next 1:1 I'd bring up, we had a disagreement about x logical piece, and
went with x, my idea had merit, how can I help push my idea forward next time.

------
southphillyman
I was in a situation like this. Me and another junior developer had to work
under a senior developer who repeatedly had to ask us for guidance, took all
the credit for everything we did, and called us morons if we couldn't answer
questions that he himself couldn't answer.

The other jr developer actually had a nervous breakdown due to the bullying
and had to go on medical leave and the sr. developer eventually quit before he
got exposed and went to another company doing the same thing (I know ppl
there)

My advice in these situations is to stand up for yourself, DOCUMENT what you
are doing and even any back and forth between you two (emails). If it's really
bad maybe even set him up to fail by not bailing him out constantly. I was
able to get the guy under control by threatening to not hold his hand on
certain tasks that he had to complete under deadline, unless he changed his
attitude

------
tracker1
First... assume you are wrong. Ask defining questions, and re-approach the
issue until you understand.

Second... when you are explaining code, unless it is `1+1` don't assume that
it's simple logic. I've seen people freak out seeing code like this.

    
    
        Object
          .entries(obj)
          .filter(([k,v]) => /foo\-/.test(k))
          .reduce(([k,v], o) => ({...o, [k]: v}))
    

Is it simple? to me, pretty much so, to someone else, maybe not so much. Even
more so if the abstractions are custom to a particular library, language or
behavior.

Third... if, and that's a big _IF_ you are right... be considerate in your
communications.

You may or may be able to not work with someone... but if you're a junior, and
they're a senior.. they may not be your direct manager, but they are senior
and may have a more critical understanding of a project and the company as a
whole.

In 25 years in software development... I've met literally one person that was
too arrogant for me to actually work with and one that was actually too
ignorant for me to work with. This is out of hundreds of people I've
interacted with in the workplace regularly.

Reflecting back on it. In most cases, the issue was me.

~~~
tracker1

        Object
          .entries(obj)
          .filter(([k,v]) => /^foo\-/.test(k))
          .reduce((o, [k,v]) => ({...o, [k]: v}), {})

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turc1656
From what you wrote, it doesn't sound like there's much of a problem other
than you not liking his general attitude. If he was actually instructing you
to do stuff like a manager would, that would be something. But it doesn't seem
like he's doing that but rather just acting like he knows more than you.

If you have overlap in your work with him where you are forced to defer to his
decision-making for whatever reason, then just make your dissent known (and
_documented_ in email or something like a public meeting).

If the issue is purely attitude and doesn't actually affect your work and he's
not making decisions that directly affect you, then this really isn't a big
deal. You can just listen and shut up and say thanks for his input and ignore
him. You won't always mesh with everyone at work, that's just a part of life.
And if he's not directly affecting you that's the absolute best case scenario
if you don't really get along with someone.

If whatever he's doing actually affects work, you can also strategically bring
this up to a higher up and raise concern by saying something like "[x] is
saying we need to do this, and I know he has more experience than me, but I
feel strongly that the project/company would be better off doing this
instead..." and explain it and make sure you are humble when doing so and
acknowledge that there may be other business reasons why they haven't chosen
that path that you might not be aware/privy to.

But it really sounds like he's just annoying you with his attitude so I would
simply ignore it and not let it get to you. Let your work speak for itself or
try to befriend him since he's friends with the manager (if you want to play
office politics).

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ordu
I'm not sure that my social skills is good enough for you to imitiate, but I
would do one of the following.

I could tell such a person that I'm busy and have no time for a conversation.
Without explaining him what his personal traits bothers me. I would say
something like "I need to work now, have no time to chat, sorry, maybe next
time".

If it is unacceptable for some reason, I would tell it without words, by
playing a role of busy person with his mind on something else, honestly trying
to be nice but having no spare mental capacity to do it good. At the same time
I'll try to aviod to show him any emotion, because it may reinforce his
behaviour. Just imagine that there are a lot of things going on your mind, you
are thinking right now some complex thoughts that are not related to the
conversation with this guy, and the conversation doesn't really prevent you
from thinking, despite you are trying (not very hard) to be nice.

A few months of such a one way conversations and he will find something else
to teach.

~~~
_pmf_
In my experience, such types act as gatekeeper and can effectively prevent you
from getting anything done.

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jshowa3
Best advice. Find another job if you're unwilling to work with this person.
Staying there will only make you depressed and its unlikely that they will
change for you.

The problem is, it can go in reverse. You can have a senior dev whose really
good, but has incredibly poor people skills and thinks they can solve
everything and gets extremely irritated when you struggle on something. Not
everyone knows the latest stuff and its often better to sit down and help them
through their struggles rather than let it fester. They will respect you a lot
more if you approach it in a neutral matter rather than just bad mouthing them
on hacker news.

From the way you respond to comments that only support your position, it
sounds like you've made up your mind.

However, one of the hardest things I had to learn in the professional world
was active communication. Making every effort to let people know what I was
doing and explaining, in detail, what I had concerns about. Sure, it takes a
lot of time, but it helps immensely.

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sloaken
1) for those of you blaming the Poster (happppy), there are 2 things that
indicate it is not him, but rather the other person:

A) 'his previous team laid him off' <\- obviously some issue

B) 'he's a friend of my manager' <\- why he was not fully laid off

2) I have been in your shoes, or similar a few times. Often they have been
assigned as my boss. I have also been in the opposite where the junior thought
they knew more, but that is a different story.

I see 3 possible paths:

1) Expose him as a fake - this will require you to enlist a senior person whom
others respect. Most likely from the group he left.

2) Leave - this can be to another company or to the group he came from. They
would be sympathetic to your cause, and if HR is not run by idiots, turn up a
red flag to a problem.

3) Suck it up - I did this once, not again.

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adrianN
Some people have difficult personalities. Usually there are still some thing
they are really good at. Try to find out what their strengths are and how you
two could complement each other. You don't have to like everybody on your
team, you just have to get your work done.

~~~
slfnflctd
Yep! There are plenty of bullies and/or blowhards out there, always trying to
steer the conversation, and they're annoying as hell-- but some of them
actually do turn out to be very skilled in certain areas. The rest aren't
worth giving the time of day. If you can afford the time & effort to
differentiate the two occasionally, though, it could help you.

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RantyDave
Ah! I've done this, from the other perspective. What happens is that the
senior is asked to "lead the team" by their boss with two major failings:

* They don't tell them what they mean by lead and

* They don't tell the team that they have a new leader

Yet another example of just how bad telepathy is for communication, and we
should probably stop trying to use it.

I would advise scheduling a short meeting with the 'real' manager and saying
that you're having difficulty understanding how best to collaborate with XYZ.
Mention that you don't know if XYZ has the mandate to override decisions made
by manager and shit will be made clear _real_ fast to both of you.

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nashashmi
> He acts like I don't know anything.

> I am junior and new in this company!

If you are young, it is quite easy and quick and sometimes deserved to think
you don't know. He is being nice or projecting his own youth experience on
you, where he learned very slowly and knew nothing at the start.

It you teach him or correct him, he will dismiss it and call it young person's
folly.

It will take some time to get him to understand your competency level. And
when you do there is no gain to be had.

I don't have advice beyond that.

~~~
nashashmi
As I was reading the other comments, a tip came to me: speak to your boss that
you are getting frustrated at his demeanor where he doesn't give you the
credit you deserve. And that he is quick to dismiss.

Don't reveal that you don't think he doesn't know much.

------
wjossey
Without knowing a lot more giving, you concrete advice is really challenging.
I’d need to pull on your experience for a while to feel like any advice I give
won’t be counter productive.

I run a free mentoring service and I’d be happy to talk 1:1 live. It’s
technically for managers, but feel free to sign up anyway. I’d love to help.

[https://freemanagermentors.com](https://freemanagermentors.com)

------
lunchables
A senior colleague should will interact with you in some ways that are similar
to how your supervisor would. That's why there is a distinction of "senior".
What exactly that relationship looks like is up to you and your supervisor to
determine. Can he task you directly? Are you required to provide him updates
on your work? Is he involved in your performance evaluation? Etc.

------
IshKebab
I think the ideal thing would be to find disagreements where you are
objectively correct - where even your boss can see you are right, and then
take those to your boss. Don't get emotional.

If there are enough of them he should get the point. If not he is not a good
boss and your best option is to switch jobs (or move within the company if
that is possible).

------
gesman
I don't see a real problem here.

"who thinks he's my manager and talks in a way like he knows everything"

If other person's thinking and talking irritates you - the best way is not to
respond. Ignore and he moves on.

If you eager to convince him that his way of thinking is not the right one - i
think you got a bigger problem.

------
batchfile
I default to expressing my opinion politely, trying their idea, and if needed
reminding them of my idea.

I find this is effective and saves a lot of face. You might learn a few things
and/or after a few times where he is wrong and you’re right he (and everyone
else) will start to solicit your opinion from the get-go.

------
sasaf5
You may be giving too much importance for what he says. There's what people
say and there's what is actually going to be done. These two things only have
to match if the person doing the talk is the lead (or, a customer, perhaps).

------
philbarr
When I was a junior I was working with a bunch of other juniors and the
solution was to shout, scream, and throw things.

Now I'm older and the solution is to empathise and work out any differences
calmly.

Both solutions have their pros and cons. Take your pick :)

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true_religion
He is your defacto manager, just treat him as such.

Political power isn't something that always follows written rules.

At one company, I know the managers secretary is effectively the manager
despite being lower than everyone in the org chart.

~~~
quickthrower2
That seems like jumping to a conclusion. The OP has a manager already.

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mabbo
My greatest fear is that I am the person you are talking about.

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justforfunhere
Maybe you should go one level up than your manager.

~~~
ytNumbers
Since the person who has an issue here is the new junior developer,
complaining to upper management that someone "doesn't understand logic" seems
like a terrible idea to me. Such an action could make this new junior employee
look like he/she is the real problem here.

------
evadne
If you are new, you could quit easily… which is indeed an approach to
consider.

~~~
quickthrower2
Or request to go on another team.

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carmate383
Sounds like you're stuck up there on your high horse. Come down and chill out
dude.

