
Ask HN: Just found out that I’m gonna be a dad - altsyset
Hi everyone, I just found out that I&#x27;m gonna be a dad. If is something I always wanted but my income is unpredictable. Sometimes I make 50k sometimes nothing. It never bothered me untill now. So I&#x27;m freaking out. What do you guys did when you have to have consistent I&#x27;m income.
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rossdavidh
Congratulations! One thing, not as major as some of what other commenters have
mentioned but worth knowing, is that you should not feel guilty about buying
used clothes/cribs/etc. for your kid. 1) most baby clothes get worn very few
times before they're outgrown, so you can get them in good shape at garage
sales or thrift shops 2) your baby doesn't care whether it is dressed
stylishly or not, it just cares if it's comfortable and its parents are nearby
3) your kid will likely throw up on it five minutes of putting it on anyway :)

Some parents feel guilt about buying used things for their child, and end up
spending a lot of $$ on new clothes, crib, etc. for a child that will not
benefit from all that extra expense in the least. You don't want to cut
corners on, for example, health care or quality food, but things like clothes
because they are visible can cause some parents of newborns to spend a lot of
money they don't need to. Save it for the things that actually matter.

~~~
altsyset
Is it safe though? Like possible skin issues that can easily be transferred?

~~~
circlefavshape
:)

Dude - relax! Becoming a parent is a real emotional roller-coaster, and it's
hard to keep your perspective, _especially_ with your first, but remember -
all kinds of morons have kids, and they're fine. Perfect is the enemy of good
in this part of your life too

(my kids, and all my friends' and family's kids, wear and have worn hand-me-
downs almost exclusively, except for fancy or special-occasion clothes)

~~~
karmajunkie
> all kinds of morons have kids, and they're fine

So, so true.

------
AndrewDucker
On a non-monetary note, here's some advice I gave my brother recently. (My
daughter is now 15 months old, and I was thinking about what advice I wish I'd
been given before she was born):

1) Remember at all times that no matter how tired you are, your partner is
almost certainly much more tired. Basically, give her a free pass for the
first few months, if not longer. (The hormonal changes a few days in are no
fun either)

2) There is no point comforting a crying baby - they just don't understand
what you're trying to do. Distract the fuck out of them instead. (This from a
baby psychologist on a BBC documentary.)

3) Babies are their own tutorial. They start off really simple, with about
three things to remember, and then once you've got the hang of those things
they start adding new ones on. But you don't need to panic about whether you
can do it, it's not complicated, just full on.

4) Bonding - do not panic if it takes you six months (or longer) to fall in
love with your child. I certainly felt incredibly protective of Sophia from
the moment she was born, but I didn't feel fully connected to her until she
was able to smile at me, and we could have some kind of interaction. It's
really easy to feel awful because all the TV and movies says it happens
instantly, but it can take a fair while, so don't worry about it.

5) Ignore any advice you don't like.

[https://andrewducker.dreamwidth.org/3746257.html](https://andrewducker.dreamwidth.org/3746257.html)

~~~
sparrish
This is good advice. I've got 7 kids and can verify this. To add a bit more to
it, teach your babies how to fall asleep without you rocking them for hours.
It's a skill and one few of them learn on their own. Your life will get
incredibly easier once they're sleeping through the night and mom and dad can
sleep through the night as well. A recommended book is 'On Becoming Baby
Wise'. Worked for our 7 - all them were sleeping 8+ hours at night before 12
weeks old.

~~~
znpy
Holy shit dude, seven kids?

On a more serious note: how do you teach them to fall asleep without rocking
then for hours?

~~~
codingdave
In short, ignore them... for actual details, you can google "Cry it out".
There are a variety of techniques, varying from letting them cry for 5
minutes, to just letting them cry. Most modern ideas lean towards the 5 minute
route, starting when they are close to 6 months old, as then they are old
enough to not need feeding overnight.

It does work. Kids do learn that crying doesn't bring any attention, so they
stop, and learn a sleeping routine. And with 7 kids, I can understand the
appeal. With less kids, we went another route. When my kids were little, there
was research saying these techniques were not healthy, but in the last 10
years newer studies have said they are OK. But it is a heated debate among
parents.

Ultimately, every parent needs to make their own choice.

------
pcx
Congratulations!

1\. Get a health insurance for you and your wife if you don’t already have
one. That takes care of large unexpected costs.

2\. Make a budget for next 2 years. This will show how much money you might
actually need.

3\. Build savings from today. You should be able to make good savings by the
time your baby is born.

4\. Not sure what you do. If possible find a way to build long term
relationships with your clients.

5\. Doing 2 projects, about half time for each is also a good idea. Gives you
a safety net.

6\. Choose clients that have good cash flow. Funding or profitability.

It’s important not to freak out now. Your wife needs a lot of support and you
should be there. Also, first time dads under estimate the support they will
get from friends, family and the system in general. It should be manageable!

~~~
acconrad
Is the government recommendation of $25k/yr per child accurate? To answer
this:

> _Make a budget for next 2 years. This will show how much money you might
> actually need._

How much _does_ one need for a child?

~~~
sloaken
Government numbers are hard to use in reality. If you have insurance that
should cover the medical. What share you apportion that to a child ... Breast
feeding saves money, makes for healthier children. Diapers could kill you. We
did disposable. Look for coupons and watch for sales, try to double dip that
one.

Important things to remember: 1) kids want your time, not the crap you buy
them. 2) you will make mistakes, just try to learn and move on. Anyone who
says they did not is not being intellectually honest. 3) start reading and
numbers as soon as possible. ABC 123 from day one.

------
notduncansmith
My son was born less than a week after my 20th birthday. I had been doing odd
software contracts to make money, but those weren't consistent. Here's what I
did: I picked up 3rd shifts at McDonald's while recruiters floated my resume
to a few companies. Yep. I had no college, no professional experience at
anything, so I got the one job I could definitely get while I worked on making
a better one possible (doing interviews, working on my portfolio, etc).
Eventually I landed a full-time software job in a city 2 hours away. We moved
down there and the rest is history. I should say that I was also buying baby
food with WIC, and my parents provided a critical safety net when I would
occasionally run out of money before payday.

Nowadays, I'm gainfully employed at a rate that disqualifies me from public
assistance anywhere, and I have gotten all of my software jobs through
Angel.co and Hired. I'm not the world's most talented engineer or likable
person, but I've managed to work alongside some very talented and likable
people. I think most people with an in-demand skill like software engineering
can do what I did and make their way to a stable income that they can raise a
family on.

------
bsagdiyev
Congrats! As someone else said, make sure you have a healthy buffer of cash.
Unexpected doctor visits come up, you'll want to take the kid somewhere and
they go through diapers really fast in the beginning. Also make sure you and
your partner can communicate and have plans for sleeping and babycare. My son
is just two months and we've finally figured out a sleep routine since we had
both been getting up when we started to fuss or cry at night to eat. If you
need any advice, have questions, or just want to talk I can send you my email.

~~~
kgwxd
"they go through diapers really fast"

This is where a membership to a wholesale place like Costco becomes a no-
brainer. Diapers, wipes and formula are best bought in bulk.

~~~
sloaken
I do not want to be a nay sayer, but often the costco bulks are a rip off.
Specifically paper products. Of course their hotdogs are a good cheap meal ...

Get the calculator out and do the math. With coupons I often bought the
smaller packages and saved money. Then the next month the bigger ones. When we
had kids we often bought diapers at Toys-r-us / babies-r-us, but I think they
are out of business. In the end shop around. Ask others. Friends and neighbors
will save / grab coupons to help you out.

------
charliesharding
Don't see much mention of it in other comments so for what it's worth.. don't
underestimate the importance of being involved in a community. While I would
personally suggest a church community, it could be anything as long as you're
open to receiving help and giving it to others when you can. Nobody wants to
feel like a charity case but anyone who has had kids understands how hard it
is and people are often willing to give you a hand with babysitting
occasionally or with food/supplies. Good luck and congratulations!

------
avgDev
What field are you in?

You could switch to a corporate job for steady income and it usually comes
with decent benefits.

Honestly, you really want to budget very well. We are planning on having a
child sometime next year. We created a plan. Bought a house, remodeled. Now,
we are going to aggressively save $50k, so we can survive 12 months without
any income if we ever need to. After we save $50k, we will focus on
aggressively paying of the house, and investing 1k a month. My health is so
so, therefore I am not sure how much time I got.

As far as career goes, I will most likely start consulting in a few years, as
I have experience with the full life cycle of applications, even forcefully
extracting requirements.

------
spaginal
Save your money. Live to the lowest standard you can.

I had my business start to fail while my second was born. I thought I wouldn’t
recover it. I did. It is survivable.

I now have three, but my income is still significantly down. Thriftiness and
creativity will do you wonders. Budget and save, even if it’s a little bit.

Some wise financial advice I received as a young man went like this...

Those that make little but save a dollar are better off financially than those
that make more but spend a dollar.

The stress of debt will do more harm to you than anything. Try to stay out of
it, enjoy these next years, you’ll never get back your children’s early years,
but you will always recover finances or a career.

Good luck!

~~~
altsyset
Thanks

~~~
sifar
Yes, avoid debt.

------
ingenieroariel
When me and my gf got pregnant I was part of a startup and was contributing to
random hacking groups for burning man, music festivals, etc.

What happened was that I stopped doing anything that did not pay me and
started working all my hours on the most profitable and constant stream of
work (in my case a 20 hours a week gig for $20usd an hour while working from
Colombia where minimum wage was $2 usd an hour at the time). In my young mind
this was the equivalent of kind of failing: not doing the most interesting
stuff and just going for the money.

But this worked out pretty well, all of the sudden the Django skills that I
had got in 2007 doing not for profit projects were in full demand in
Enterprise by 2012 and onwards and I got to $60, $80, $100, $120 usd an hour
as I did more specific projects for bigger clients.

Short version: Go for the boring stable job because the most important thing
is providing roof and food for your family. It will work out, God permitting.

------
vorpalhex
Congrats!

Diversify the income stream. If you make most of your money freelancing,
consider doing some pluralsight courses or writing a book. I highly recommend
reading this article [1] from Troy Hunt (creator of HaveIBeenPwned) on some of
the finance lessons he's learned.

You might also look at working part time with a regular client at a cheaper
rate, or modifying your contract to ensure more regularity, especially if you
can manage to get benefits.

[1] - [https://www.troyhunt.com/10-personal-finance-lessons-for-
tec...](https://www.troyhunt.com/10-personal-finance-lessons-for-technology-
professionals/)

------
oceanghost
First of all, congrats! I wanna tell you things I wish someone had told me,
some of which will involve your career.

Assuming you and your partner live together-- you will have a strong hint if
you're having a boy or a girl by how the pregnancy affects the woman. Girls
generally are a sleepy pregnancy. Boys are generally energetic pregnancies.
This has to do with the fetus producing sex hormones which affect the mother.

Being a parent is a marathon, not a race. I burned myself out before the baby
was even born trying to be everything to everyone. Trying to keep my wife
happy, trying to keep an employer that could never be happy satisfied. Let me
repeat this point. You need to separate yourself from things that can't be
satisfied. From employers whom you can never work enough for, from people who
use all of your time and energy.

From now on, your life will be about stability. Children thrive on stability,
and you will too. When you enter the stability mindset suddenly whole swaths
of society make sense.

You're going to have a hard time getting a job with a child. You won't have
time to study interview ephemera. Your hair will turn gray from lack of sleep.
You won't have time to participate in the latest fads, or to get drinks after
work, and you will be judged for that.

But all the meanwhile, you'll be doing something vastly more important.

------
sifar
Congratulations. Cherish it ! Take care of your partner - eat healthy food.

I would like to add - stop worrying. Yes you don't have a predictable income,
but your constant worrying about it will hamper your ability to have one. It
is a vicious loop. Be calm, keep improving your skills and producing better
results. In your anxiety to provide for your kid, it is easy to forget to
actually "be" with them, love them. Children can easily pick these things in
you. Read/tell them stories every night. Goof off with them - this is your
chance to be a kid again !! It is surprising how easily you can get away with
"my kids insist I do/play this with them" :)!. The world can wait, it will be
there still, when you return to it.

Like others have said, lower your costs - increase your savings. Keep
increasing your Savings Rate. Drop things that cost but add little/no value.
Convenience has a cost - Embrace inconvenience. Prefer buying used things,
learn to invest at a low cost. Stay healthy. Parks and libraries are free, use
them over other forms of entertainments.

------
rubidium
Congrats!

It really depends on your current situation, so to be more helpful please
answer these:

1) how much savings do you have?

2) assuming a spouse, will the spouse continue to work? Do you have parents
nearby who can help with childcare?

3) can you clarify your earnings, maybe with yearly breakdown of the past 5
years?

4) where are you located (country at least)?

Option 1) Get a regular job with health benefits. If you're a programmer in
the US with some experience, $65-80K should be readily attainable. Certainly
much more depending on location and abilities. Likely the least stressful but
more boring option.

Option 2) diversify the income as vorpalhex said. This will be more stressful.
You do need to figure out your "minimum expenses" and budget for that. You
can't afford to go 1 year without making anything unless you've got
significant money banked.

One datapoint: in a US midwestern city, a conservative baby/toddler budget is
running me about $4-6K not including increased medical. Set a budget just
assuming you're going to max your out-of-pocket every year. 1 birth + 1 ER
visit will usually get you there.

~~~
altsyset
I have small saving (<10k) and I run my own dev agency which just survived
dramatic founders separation. We live in Ethiopia but my wife is American. I
think she just stopped paying for healthcare . I didn't wanna bring it up just
now.

~~~
altsyset
Ohh the one advantage I have is that my parents and older sisters live cloth
by. So, at least, no baby sitter concerns.

------
mxuribe
Beyond the advice of "healthy buffers of cash" \- which is good advice - you
might want to get your sleep now.

I don't mean that you should oversleep - since you want to balance your time
in order build up as much cash as possible NOW...What I mean is: don't go out
and party much now. You will not have enough sleep when your baby arrives, so
sleep now.

Beyond cash and sleep, begin to work out a system (AHEAD of time) with your
partner - including who will sleep while the other is on pager duty - er, I
mean, feeding/diaper duty. In addition to organizing duties, communicate,
communicate, and communicate with your partner NOW, DURING, and AFTER your
baby arrives. Communication is so important during projects, and this is
vastly more important than other projects, so it makes sense that
communication with your partner is essential.

You (and your partner) are about to put a dent into the universe; cheers,
congratulations, and best of luck!

------
altsyset
Edit: We just came back from a long walk out. At first I was quiet and
awkward. Then I talked about it and handled it better. I even told her how I
asked the HN community for help and how it helped me. It turns out she did the
same in some mom's community. The advice she we got was completely different.
Hers were things like 'take a cute pic'. Mine were more practical and what I
wanted to hear. Even though some of them were scary. Maybe, I should have
provided better context. Everyone assumed am from US or EU. Anyways, thanks
for the help and sold advice. I was in the toilet shaking when I posted this.
You guys helped me to think about it in a practical way. I still don't have a
solid plan but I feel like I have a clear head.

~~~
sifar
If you don't live in the US/EU, basic things are pretty cheaper in RoW. The
family/community ties tend to be stronger. You can live off well on a small
budget and increase your savings if you ignore keeping up with the Jones's,
societal trends or obligations.

------
dvaun
Congratulations! Becoming a father involves so many great emotions and moments
of excitement, fear, and wonder.

It's scary becoming a new parent. Having children is world changing, because
you no longer have to think only about yourself — there is someone else who
loves you, and depends completely upon you. There is no one that I've ever
spoken with has ever said that they felt ready for this change. That's
completely normal, and that's okay.

My wife and I were relatively young — age 21 — when we had our first son. Our
situation was somewhat similar to yours in that we had a financial challenge;
we learned how to utilize what was available to us. As others have said in
this thread: your community and relationships are extremely valuable. It takes
a village!

------
p0d
Many of us here started with a family and no money and now the children are
older have money. Life is a bit back to front that way.

My advice is work hard. Knowing you have provided for your family is one of
the great joys of life. Whether that means the $20 second birthday dinner you
paid for or helping your twenty year old through uni. Provide what needs
provided.

My journey was being the photocopy guy in a school, advertising fixing
computers in the newspaper at night, getting a degree with the Open
University, being an IT Technician and now leading an Infrastructure Team for
a saas company. I also have a sideline which my company let’s me work on one
day a week. Do what you have to do :-)

------
Arrezz
If you have inconsistent income you have to have a healthy buffer of cash that
you can draw from in times where you aren't making a lot of money.
Congratulations on becoming a dad!

------
inerte
Budget. Make your inconsistent income look like a steady one and plan how
you're going to spend the money.

I use YNAB, and they have a bunch of articles / videos / podcasts about
variable income, such as
[https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=ynab%20variable%20inco...](https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=ynab%20variable%20income)

------
trykondev
Wow, what an incredible journey you're embarking on. Congratulations to you --
I'm vicariously thrilled and terrified as I read this post :)

Regarding consistent income, one of the companies I work for offers part-time,
fully remote contractor work conducting technical interviews. I use it as a
way to keep a stable income while I pursue riskier ventures outside of that
company and a lot of the folks working on the platform have very young
families. I plan to use it as my sole income when I start a family of my own.
It might be a good fit for you since it sounds like you'd want to continue
doing your own contract work.

It pays $100 USD per 90-minute interview -- if this type of thing is
interesting to you (or anyone reading, for that matter) -- feel free to send
me an email! Details are in my profile.

------
circlefavshape
In my experience having a baby cost very little. There's an initial outlay for
crib/buggy/etc, but you don't need to buy new - and if you have family nearby
you probably can mostly use hand-me-downs (we did). Dunno where you live, but
doctor visits for kids are free in a lot of Europe. Also - breastfeed!

------
hazard
I was in a similar 'unpredictable income' situation when I had my kid. Since
you're on HN, I'm assuming that your income comes from some kind of knowledge
work, and you have to be mentally sharp to be productive.

The best investment I ever made was to get a night nanny. This is someone who
comes to your home at night and changes diapers, feeds the baby (or brings
them to the mom to nurse without waking you up) and may also do basic domestic
stuff like laundry and dishes while your partner adjusts to their new routine
as a parent.

The cost is going to vary dramatically depending on where you live and whether
your kid has any kind of special needs (e.g., if they're a premie you might
want a night nanny who is also a registered nurse).

They will basically double your productivity during your waking hours since
you will not be suffering (as much) from sleep deprivation.

------
RazvanS
Congratulations.

It's a good idea to have a list of must have's/nice to have supplies for the
baby. Stick to the must have's, skip the others. You will spend less money and
avoid having too much stuff afterwards.

The money you save this way you can use it as a buffer for the periods with
limited income.

------
cannonedhamster
Plenty of people with less financial stability than yourself are parents and
do just fine. The most important part, more than any other advice is to just
show up. A lot of people overestimate what it takes to be a good parent. Be
there, be present, and the rest tends to fall into place.

------
yatendra
Congratulations. Not sure if this will work for you or not but this is what I
did -

* Make sure you have a good health insurance plan.

* 529 account - the day my kids were born I started a recurring deposit 100 with some extra deposit on events like tax refund/bonus etc. I want to have enough to support public college tution.

* whatever I have left after mortgage and monthly expenses, I contribute to each of my accounts in specified order, going to next account only when I reach max limit for that account
    
    
         - Checking account (limit 2 months of expenses)
    
         - Online savings account for emergencies (limit 6 months of expenses)
    
         - Roth IRA for both my wife and me (limit IRS prescribed limit around 6K per year)
    
         - Retirement accounts (Robo advisors : regular investment account/IRA)

------
tmaly
Definitely read the book Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the
Wisdom of French Parenting.

Getting the baby to sleep through the night is something you want to do as
soon as possible.

Your also going to want to get really good at time management. With one kid,
you are allowed one hobby. Once you have two kids you can have a hobby once in
a blue moon.

If you can get a stable gig, I would recommend it. Diaper prices recently went
up.

------
vxjester
Just remember in the beginning. It’s basically 3 things that will make a baby
cry. Those are needing a diaper changed, hungry or tired. Also if you want to
gain brownie points with the wife. Switch off with her for caring for the
baby. Just realize your both going to be tired. The switching back and forth
with the care not only helps avoid arguments but also is nice getting a few
extra hours of sleep.

------
sergiotapia
Congrats. I owe my career and the opportunity to bring my family to the states
thanks to Upwork.

With that level of income I could save for the trip, home, car, the works. It
opened up a huge market for me and ultimate gave my everything. Try that
platform to find work I'm assuming you are a programmer or something related
since you're on HN.

Also, try not to freelance as much, it's too unpredictable for children.

------
chrisjc
Look for Daddy-bootcamps, as well as all the other kind of classes available.
These classes are often times free or pretty inexpensive. You don't even have
to belong to the Hospitals that they're presented at a lot of times.

I went to a daddy bootcamp, breast feeding with my wife, baby-care, etc... All
of which were extremely informative and helpful.

Congratulations!

------
cerberusss
Why can't you just buffer money on your business bank account, and thus give
yourself a steady salary on a private account?

------
PopeDotNinja
You always have the option to switch careers.

------
OrangeUnicorn12
Find a permanent job at BigCo. Take mortgage and buy a house. Spend lots of
time with family and support your wife morally, but do not "spoil" her. Start
saving for kid(s) education. Plan for 2. Congrats and good luck.

------
sorokod
Congratulations, your life is about to change in all sorts of ways. One of
them is that you are now responsible for others, not just yourself. Accept
this, don't freak out and think Cooley and rationally what needs to be done.

------
RickJWagner
Congratulations!

Get a steady gig. Life is about to get real. (BTW, kids are the greatest.)

------
dbg31415
Hey man, first off... no judgement intended, but look on Glass Door and make
sure you're being paid appropriately for your line of work in your region.
And... consider moving to a region that pays more. Just saying, $50k seems low
for tech / anything that would bring you to the Hacker News community.

If you're freelancing, and sometimes you get paid and sometimes you don't, you
need to work on getting clients to pay up-front (most are happy to do the
first payment up-front at least), or at minimum make sure your contracts are
solid and you're billing and following up for the work you did. (This is the
bane of freelancing, and it gets more complex the more clients you have.)
Fixing your contracts and invoicing will keep things consistent. Cut any
client that doesn't pay on time, and never lift a finger to help someone who
is behind on payments -- so many times people try and be "nice" but if they
don't pay, they're just using you.

Generally speaking, so many issues are sorted out for you if you take a job at
a bigger company. Stability, insurance, consistent pay... this is a huge draw
for a lot of people. Freelancing is fun for diversity, and the pay can be
better, but in the long-run most of my friends who work at big companies seem
like they have more time for their families. Something to consider.

Savings is going to be key, and it's impossible to retroactively save, like
it's impossible to retroactively diet, so you just fix the issues as you see
them and try to avoid mistakes and stay healthy going forward. You need to
find a way to get money saved up. It'll help with your stress. When I
freelance, I try and keep 6 months of cash for all bills on hand. My mortgage,
car payments, etc. -- should work dry up, I want runway to fix it.

The prerequisite to the above is having a budget. A lot of people just sort of
spend what they spend, and don't think about it. This is lazy and wasteful. If
you eat out a lot, set a budget... and consider scaling that down. When I
first started tracking, I realized I was spending about $600 a month eating
out. I cut that to $300 -- it was a bit harder at first, but I like cooking
and meal prep, and within a year I went from eating out almost every meal to
almost never eating out at all -- unless it's for work.

Once I had a budget, and my target savings goals, I got there by auditing my
spend, and cutting expenses. Then putting aside 10% of my paycheck (for a few
years), into paying off all debts and building savings. Once I hit the
"cushion" goal, I still take 10% and put it into a 1) rainy day fund, and 2)
retirement fund. The rainy day fund is for bigger purchases... things like,
"Oh crap, I need a new AC," type stuff. It's invested, but it's more liquid --
I can turn it into cash inside of a week if needed.

For debts, it's not rocket science. Pay the ones with the higher interest
rates first. Generally speaking. Credit card debt is horrible, and will doom
you. Get it all paid off as quickly as you can. Then work on things like
student loans, mortgages, etc. Keep in mind a lot of this debt helps you with
your taxes... set up some time with a professional tax consultant and see what
they say.

For a retirement account, and for a kid's college account, I just use a three-
fund portfolio approach. [https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Three-
fund_portfolio](https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Three-fund_portfolio) It's
simple enough, and I've beaten the market the last 10 years. Let the machines
do it, I wasted money on a money manager for years... kicking myself. They
always took 1% of my money... not just the profit. It was a rip off. And you
can do this stuff yourself. (=

Setup some time to chat with a banker, but y'know... understand that they're
out to make money too. If you're new to investing, they can help you with some
of the basics... a Roth IRA, for example, if you don't already have one. Keep
away from places like Edward Jones, the strip-mall shops have literally the
worst returns vs. fees vs. risks (vs. environmentally friendly investment)
ratios.

Anyway look, financial health, like fitness, or anything... isn't something
you just do over night. It takes planning and effort to get where you want to
go. Don't beat yourself up for past mistakes, learn from them and adjust going
forward. Cheers!

~~~
JakeStone
There are areas in Texas with moderately tech savvy industries where $50k can
cover basic needs for a family of four with good housing (3BR/2BA with
reasonable dimensions for all rooms and yard), savings, and an occasional
splurge on entertainment.

Now in the SF Bay area, you've got to look at 2.5-4+ to keep that quality of
life.

Useful salary, to some extent, is geographical.

The rest of what you're talking about, I've got nothing to add.

~~~
dbg31415
Yup, always gotta watch that salary vs. cost of living ratio.

That's what ruled out Seattle, SF, LA, and NYC for me. I'm in Austin -- not
the cheapest place in Texas, but your buck goes a long way here. Not as far as
it went 15 years ago, but property investments have really paid off for me
here.

[https://www.bizjournals.com/austin/news/2019/06/24/studywhen...](https://www.bizjournals.com/austin/news/2019/06/24/studywhen-
adjusted-for-cost-of-living-austin-tech.html)

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ryanmercer
Congrats!

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lurker9525
First thing you need to do is make sure it's yours? You don't want to be
trapped taking care of someone else's child.

