
Ask HN: Leave small company where I’m a key person - throw_getAjerb
I am CTO of a small consulting firm. I’ve been instrumental the last 7-8 years in growing our profile and business. I was directly responsible for winning 50% of revenue last several years, and had influence on much of the remaining 50%. I manage our largest clients and most significant open source projects (which we derive a lot of business)<p>Lately I feel very stuck. I am tired of consulting. Because of Covid I haven’t had to travel. I have small kids and no longer want to travel excessively. I’ve also had every experience I can have at my job. I feel stagnant. I’m also tired of the same problems over and over and over at this company. As I told a friend everything has become far too “lovable”<p>I have put out feelers for new jobs, and seem to have a lot of positive prospects. I’m very excited about the opportunities.<p>The guilt though of wanting to leave is overwhelming. I worry I’ll damage relationships and there will be a lot of hurt feelings. At the same time, the company has had a lot of time to grow&#x2F;hire more people that could take on my level of work<p>How do I leave, preserve relationships, and minimize damage to the company? Any pointers appreciated.
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topkai22
One of the best lessons I've learned in life is we as individuals are a lot
less important in others lives than we think we are (immediate family
excluded.) Leaving is likely to be a lot less devastating to others than you
think. While it's good to be concerned about your fellow coworkers, be aware
you are likely over estimating your place in their lives.

I assume other people have left your company before, was there bad fallout?
Why? Can you avoid that? If there has never been fallout, why are you worried
there will be now? People change jobs all the time, and 8 years is a long time
in the same position.

Talk over your thoughts with your CEO and maybe peers. You don't need to (and
shouldn't) talk about any external job offers, but if you ask them "My life
has changed- I don't want to travel any more, I want to solve larger problems,
and I want to interface with customers less, can I do that here?" then they
can at least come to the conclusion that it's time for a transition as well.
And maybe they have something up their sleeve. If not, they can work with you
on transitioning in a controlled manner instead of a <1 month panic.

If your other opportunities allow, you can even offer yourself for reach back
consulting on a limited basis - I've seen that be successful before.

Finally, so long as you are trying to be professional and collegiual about it,
don't feel guilty about transitioning. Small kids change things, you need a
different lifestyle. Coworkers who care about you as a whole will understand
that.

~~~
catacombs
> People change jobs all the time, and 8 years is a long time in the same
> position.

Really? I'm coming up to five years at my job, and I can easily stay another
five.

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zx14
I get your guilt. I think it's normal to worry about how the company will fare
without you, and how your relationships with your soon to be ex-colleagues
will be affected and what not. However at the end of the day you do what's
best for you and your family, mentally, financially, you name it. And you must
always remember that throughout this process, regardless of what's going to
happen.

There is absolutely no guarantee some people won't be upset and won't take it
personally and there is no guarantee the company will have a smooth ride
without you, but what you can do is give them plenty of notice, say 2-3
months. During this time you can work with them to make the transition as
smooth as possible, including training and/or hiring a successor. Whether
those months will be good or a total hell, only you can guess - and you may
still be wrong.

~~~
greenyoda
> _However at the end of the day you do what 's best for you_

Excellent advice. Remember that you're the only one there who actually cares
about what's best for you. If the company ever decided that it was in their
best interest to get rid of you, they would fire you without hesitation and
without guilt.

> _Whether those months will be good or a total hell..._

If the company acts abusively toward you after you give them notice that
you're leaving, you have the perfect right to walk out the door whenever is
convenient for you. You don't owe them anything.

