
Ask HN: Do you take anti-depressants? - septerr
If you take anti-depressants, what has their biggest impact been on your life? Have they made you more productive? Have you experienced any drawbacks?<p>(I am considering seeing a doctor about depression. I am not sure if what I experience is really depression. I have been wondering, maybe I have never experienced &#x27;normal&#x27; as other people do. I wonder if they will help me focus better and be more productive, esp. in my spare time.)
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a3n
First, stop considering and see your doctor. Make an appointment now. You may
be treatable as depressed, or the two of you may conclude that some other
treatment is appropriate.

I'm in my late 50s. I've been taking an SSRI, generic Citalopram (Celexa) for
a few months.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citalopram](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citalopram)

The biggest impact on my life may be that I'm still alive, that I no longer
want to or feel that I need to kill myself, that I no longer wake up every day
wondering if this should be the day. This was my life just a few months ago.

I wish I'd done something about this years ago.

More productive? Yeah, maybe. I was still functioning when I was untreated,
but I was miserable, and would obsess over any setback, real or constructed.
So I'm not doing that anymore, and so I'm probably spending more time
producing.

Possibly more productive in the sense that I bother trying to accomplish
things in my personal life that I previously discarded as impossible for me.
"That'll never work."

However, that's my story, not yours. We're all individuals, with our own genes
and experience and environment.

Drawbacks? No, not really. My libido is somewhat less distracting. Some people
report no libido, some no difference. If that becomes an issue you can consult
with your doctor and adjust things.

I'm not more energetic, I'm not more lazy. I am still exactly who I was
before. However, I'm certain that I'm more pleasant to be around. I think
often depression is perceived by others as someone generally being an asshole.
I used to very often find myself riding the trainwreck of an interaction, and
powerless to stop it.

Personally, my biggest fear was not being able to think if I took
antidepressants. If anything, I think better, because I don't waste my brain
on unproductive, irrational thinking. I'm not smarter, and I'm not stupider, I
just don't have as many obstacles as I used to.

Bottom line: you're not a doctor. You aren't going to a doctor to receive
antidepressants, you're going to treat your possible depression. That
treatment _may_ include antidepressants, and/or something else.

Go make your appointment.

------
MalcolmDiggs
I took Lexapro (Escitalopram) around 2010, for 6 months. It's an SSRI, like
Prozac, Zoloft or Paxil.

My experience was an "evening out" of my emotions. If my normal emotional
range was 1-10, Lexapro put me between 3 and 8 all the time. Gone were the 1's
and 2's (the very low/depressed feelings) but so were the 9's and 10's (the
elation / joy). Everything in my life was "okay". Not great, not terrible,
just okay.

I don't think it effected my productivity at all, one way or the other. The
only drawback I experienced (besides losing joy), was that it somehow screwed
up my ability to sense fullness/satiety, so I gained a bunch of weight.

If you think you might be depressed, definitely talk to a professional.
Remember (and this is key): the drugs don't actually solve anything. You're
still going to have to learn how to deal with whatever issues you have. The
drugs just stabilize you so that it's possible for that hard work to begin;
but that's really just the beginning of the journey. They're not a long term
solution.

------
atsaloli
I took anti-depressants for about a year, bridging my last year of college and
first year of work. The anti-depressants numbed me -- suppressed feeling sad
or glad. They covered up the problem (spiritual travail) without handling it.
Getting enough sleep, exercise, good diet and effective counseling (that had
me look at the source of the pain and discharge it) was more effective for me
than taking anti-depressants.

~~~
NumberCruncher
>> They covered up the problem without handling it.

Exactly. Taking anti-depressants lifelong for depression is like taking
painkiller lifelong for toothache. Unfortunately healing is not as profitable
as selling drugs. Because of this it can be really hard to find a doctor who
is interesed in healing you instead of in your money.

Edit: I forgot to write about the alternative solutions. Two of them are
discussed in the followig books:

\- A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine

\- How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Browne

~~~
ruraljuror
I think this view is dangerously close to further stigmatizing mental illness,
which is a big problem in the US. Or at least it's a really bad simile.

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nathanasmith
I was on Prozac for a few months and while it did reduce anxiety, the effect
was fairly mild. The problem was that it _destroyed_ my sex drive. Even worse
because of the way it hammers down on emotional extremes, I even started
questioning my relationship with my girlfriend like I didn't care one way or
the other about her. I stopped using it and went back to depressed normalcy
within 3 weeks. That was when I decided to try cardio and dietary
improvements. After a month of that, I felt less depressed than ever and
haven't looked back.

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ruraljuror
I hope some of the more informed comments here can help you start the process
of actively trying things to improve your life.

I do not believe I suffer from depression, but I was recently wondering
whether I might perhaps have attention-deficit disorder. It led me down a
similar line of questioning, and I realized that if I did have ADHD or
something similar, there might be a lot of stigma surrounding that illness and
the treatment. I think this stigma of mental illness is a huge problem in our
country.

To get to your point, according to Andrew Solomon's INCREDIBLE book about
depression _The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression_ there are only two
things that have been proven to help with depression: medication and exercise.

I would also suggest that you talk to a psychologist, I have found it
incredibly helpful in my own life. They can also reflect very well on this
type of question.

Finally, if you are interested particularly in this question towards
developers the NodeUp podcast recently had an episode on developer mental
health:

[http://nodeup.com/eighty](http://nodeup.com/eighty)

------
tvm
I've been on several SSRI/SRNIs. These shitty drugs made everything only worse
to me (Paroxetine, Venlafaxine, Escital, etc.)

From top of my head: \- Constant diarrhea \- Heightened anxiety \- Trembling
hands \- Gastrointestinal problems \- Inability to concentrate \- Anorgasmia

I quit this junk at some point. I also quit my corporate job and forgot about
doctors. Exercise, cutting down stress, drinking tea and enjoying simple
things now. I feel like I'm living again. I spent whole day sitting at park
with book today, watching my daughter play and I'm very content.

It might sound like cliché, but that's how it works for me now.

Honestly, I regret that I've ever touched these silly pills.

From my current seasoned POV: depression is just a symptom that tells you that
you aren't doing something right in your personal life.

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cweagans
It will change your life. Do it.

Identify the problems you want to solve, and then go to a Psychiatrist. Don't
go to some random doc in the box type place. You want somebody that really
understands brain chemistry.

~~~
a3n
Assuming that the problem is something treatable by that specialist.

I'd consider going to your primary care physician. It's good to have someone
who is concerned with and aware of your entire profile. If necessary he can
refer to an appropriate specialist.

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Spoom
If you go on antidepressants, make sure you're open to trying different types.
They're not one size fits all and people can have horrible side effects from
one while another makes their life much better. Make sure you have a follow-up
scheduled with your doctor about a month into a new prescription. Good luck!

(Anecdotally, my experience was that SSRIs had bad side effects and a general
dulling of life, but Wellbutrin did much better. I've heard others report the
exact opposite though.)

------
joshmn
My cocktail: 100mg Pristiq, 70mg Vyvanse, 80mg Propranolol.

I don't think I need the Pristiq anymore. It was more for anxiety when I was
younger (16-20) and it's balanced itself out very well. The Propranolol,
however, is probably helping quite a bit as it slows things down.

Yes, you can argue that Vyvanse will speed things up, but it levels me out a
great degree — though, not along anxiety lines.

------
ukoms
septerr - if you feel down and thinking about antidepressants, you should go
to doctor. Not always it is needed to use antidepressants per se (this is very
wide definition). But only a psychiatrist can tell which is suited for your
condition.

I'm on antidepressants for over ten years. During that time I've been using
SSRIs and SNRI is what I take currently. Each of those have side effects - but
every one of them depends on individual conditions. In my case - my
productivity is lowered to the point I sometimes feel like I do only what I
have to do. Before I started - I wrote story a week, each day I made some new
scripts testing this or that. Currently - I struggle with writing stories, I
lost interest in solving intelectual puzzles. Well, I do draw a bit more than
I used to.

From my point of view - I dont shake with fear and panic every moment of the
day, but then again I dont create as many things I used to. Everyday cosyness
at the price of productivity/creativity.

------
ljw1001
if you're considering talking to Dr., you should follow through. Different
meds affect different people in different ways, so don't read too much into
what you're hearing here, but there's a good chance you and your MD can find
something that will improve things.

------
onedev
I personally take exercise and a healthy, balanced diet. It seems to work very
well.

~~~
a3n
Lucky that you (presumably, I'm no doctor) have the healthy neural circuitry
necessary to take advantage of those things.

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ZeroGravitas
I've taken them a couple of times, an overall positive experience.

Definitely go see a doctor, just getting a pamphlet that totally described
what I was feeling made me feel better, as it became obvious that it's a
normal human thing.

I'd recommend exercise, sleep, spending time with friends/family and CBT as
good general solutions, I also like propanalol for dealing with anxiety.

As far as I could tell, the science is ambivalent on SSRIs, but I liked the
way they made me feel, and the daily pill was a reminder to myself to go easy
on myself as I was I'll.

------
cm2012
My wife does, and it's 100% necessary for her to be functional.

------
neverknowsbest
TLDR; be extremely cautious of anhedonia

I started on Bupropion (Wellbutrin) a few years ago because I was feeling low
+ irritable, and thought meds might have a positive impact. The general
groupthink at the time was that taking SS(n)RIs was a solid "not super
serious" option for tackling anxiety and depression... that you could just
"try it out". Initially I didn`t feel any difference. A little stomach upset,
but nothing especially positive or negative. People around me said they`d
noticed my mood was uplifted, so I thought "what the heck, may as well
continue on with it". Over the months I found myself slipping further and
further away from goals, connections, and general "get up and go". But because
I still experienced ups and downs (some days were still great, I wasn't
completely flat), I just thought I had to "make some positive life changes".
To put that in perspective, my life wasn't/isn't anything to complain about:
good friends, supportive family, understanding job with good pay, and I'm in
good health/fit and work out regularly. But it FELT like nothing was
"clicking", that everything I did was meaningless. It really felt like nothing
was ever enough, and I would become frustrated that there was no reward in
anything I liked doing. Small things could ruin an otherwise great day because
my bar was so low. It felt like I was running on empty, in regards to
fulfillment. I asked my doctor (who had superscribed me the Bupropion in the
first place) if it was safe for me to continue on with it. He said "there was
no harm", and suggested it was a benign drug. I took that to heart and
continued to believe that my issues with motivation were due to an
increasingly severe bout of depression or personal failing. It was only when I
confessed to my partner that I had difficulty finding reasons to continue on
with life that I started to consider it might not be ME/my brain causing the
issue. It wasn't just a bad day that would make me contemplate ending it
anymore, it was normal days, days which were nothing special. "Well, this is
unimpressive... may as well just end it" was becoming a very blasé everyday
thought, and yet I was so detached that I didn't think that was odd, and had
no hesitation revealing it. My partner was horrified, naturally, and started
looking up the side-effects of Bup. It'd been so long since I'd been on it,
that it wasn't an immediately obvious cause and effect, but that was
definitely the source of the anhedonia. Within two weeks of ceasing the meds,
I feel more and more connected to the world, finding everyday things
fulfilling again. It's no longer like scrabbling at little moments of joy: I
can actually just sit back and feel good, without a constant barrage of
interesting/pleasurable things. Looking back, it's obvious I was having
issues, but seeing them from within the very specific brand of null emotion
Bupropion created, was impossible. I can still clearly remember that feeling
of "everything is pointless" and thinking right after "I better just try
harder to find a point" rather than assessing that there might have been
something wrong. The fact I could still have really good days/fun times threw
me for a real loop. At any rate, that was rambly (side effect #2 = less sharp
cognitively, and I'm still regaining my acuity) but hopefully I got the
feeling across of losing yourself in the meds.

~~~
septerr
Thank you for this.

