
Asking Questions - akharris
https://www.aaronkharris.com/asking-questions
======
ignoramous
Interesting. Albert Einstein famously said his child-like curiosity is what
led him to theorise about space-time continuum [0]. He thought, a child-like
inquisitiveness was key to what he did [1]. On asking questions, he said: "
_Most teachers waste their time by asking questions that are intended to
discover what a pupil does not know, whereas the true art of questioning is to
discover what the pupil does know or is capable of knowing_ " [2].

Here's a contrasting article that I remember very vividly [3]. For me, after
reading it, I felt that it was perhaps okay to _admit_ not knowing things one
ought to know because it opened up an avenue to honestly engage in a
thoughtful discussion with people who might know more. I can't really say if
it changed how folks around me perceived me, but I didn't really feel awkward
anymore answering queries with a " _I don 't know but..._".

[0]
[https://www.azquotes.com/quote/616908](https://www.azquotes.com/quote/616908)

[1]
[https://www.azquotes.com/quote/405452](https://www.azquotes.com/quote/405452)

[2]
[https://www.azquotes.com/quote/1242866](https://www.azquotes.com/quote/1242866)

[3] [https://42floors.com/blog/startups/i-dont-
know](https://42floors.com/blog/startups/i-dont-know)

~~~
akharris
I've often thought about Einstein's thought experiments for this very reason.

Why not think about rays of light as if you were traveling next to them in a
train? It seems so simple, but no one else had asked that question before.

------
wittedhaddock
Love it. Thank you for sharing. Reminds me of some Asimov:
[https://www.technologyreview.com/s/531911/isaac-asimov-
asks-...](https://www.technologyreview.com/s/531911/isaac-asimov-asks-how-do-
people-get-new-ideas/)

There must be "ease, relaxation, and a general sense of permissiveness." which
sounds like an environment that would be conducive to basic questions.

He goes on to say "isolation is required" (for having creative ideas) and
maybe that's because it is a way for him to avoid the adult-being-and-always-
sounding-smart-forcing-function... even as costly as being alone from a team
may be!

Feels like some tall shoulders probably agree with you:)

~~~
akharris
"Reminds me of some Asimov" may be the single greatest compliment I've ever
been paid.

One of the things I love about Asimov's writing is the way in which he builds
complex situations with simple building blocks. The Three Laws are the best
example of this, but one of my favorites remains his first "article" on
Thiotimiline.

------
gwbas1c
> The way I’m working on this is to stop myself each time I’m about to ask a
> question and figure out what I actually want to know, and then see if I can
> just ask that specific question in no more than a single simple sentence. If
> the question does not produce a satisfying answer, I’ll try to understand if
> it is because I worded the question poorly, or did not provide enough
> context. If I need more context, I’ll add one or two sentences of context,
> and ask the question again.

That. Exactly that.

I've worked with people who will ask questions faster than I can answer them,
or ask questions in a circle where it's clear that they never listened to my
first answer... They are the hardest people to work with, no matter how smart,
motivated, or capable they are.

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defertoreptar
The trouble with this is that it fails above first order thinking. For
example, I remember asking a photographer, "what's the value of 20 megapixel
cameras"? His answer was something like, "the more the the MP, the better the
detail."

I knew that already, but he didn't know I knew that. I was wondering because
most mediums with which I view these photos don't support that high a
resolution.

As a result, I've tried to do what the above author prescribed, but add an "I
understand how x..." to avoid wasting time with the obvious answer.

There's even an issue when doing that, though. The question becomes too
complex (as the author was getting at). I see this mostly when I'm
troubleshooting something on the phone, and the tech is used to giving the "on
script" answer.

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6gvONxR4sf7o
I've realized that sometimes when I ask a question I'm worried about seeming
dumb. Maybe in that moment it's true, maybe not. Often you appear more
thoughtful and engaged. Either way, for the rest of the conversation you'll
probably seem smarter than you otherwise would. Continuing without
understanding, you're way more likely to say something stupid because you
didn't understand that thing two minutes ago. But if you retain mastery
throughout, even though it may take some questioning to keep on top of things,
you end up able to keep up and contribute better. Recognizing that, and that
people just like engaged listeners, has helped me ask "dumb" questions more
easily.

------
poulsbohemian
The problem is we live in an "RTFM" culture, where people find it necessary to
present all the things they've considered and tried prior to asking the
question, so that they can be taken seriously and not just get an "RTFM" as
the first response to their question. Yes, it would be easier if they could
just ask their question without their motives being questioned, but that's not
how our system works.

~~~
nicbou
RTFM is necessary because asking a question is cheaper than answering it.
People ask a lot of questions they could trivially answer themselves, at the
detriment of the community.

I moderate a community for a European capital. Without an RTFM policy, we'd
spend our days retyping the same answers you could find with a Google search:
what to do on a trip there, where to print documents, how to pay a public
transit fine etc.

------
tylerchilds
One thing to add on top of this, adults have time limits.

I have no problem asking questions, but if there are only a couple minutes
left in a meeting, I'm probably not going to ask if it's ultimately not a big
deal.

Related to this, meetings can also have "wrong" questions. If it's not
pertinent to the majority of the audience, it might be the wrong time to ask
the question, making it a wrong question.

------
ken
> At the same time, adult questions get longer and longer. Most of this length
> isn’t important for the question, it is meant to prevent the audience from
> thinking the questioner is stupid.

On the contrary, I do it to prevent people from wasting the first 5 minutes of
their explanation with basics that I already know, or simplistic models that
don't fully explain my observations.

My dad once told me "Education is the process of lying less and less". Kids
are OK with a kid-level model because it explains everything they see. I need
to preempt answers with 3 or 4 observations I have which _aren 't_ explained
by the kid-level model.

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mc13
Thank you very much for writing this. I needed this.

I recently joined a new workplace and realized that everyone around me were
talking too much for asking simple questions, questions which would normally
require a sentence or two.

My previous workplace was small "startup" company around 20 employees, where
questions in conversations were simple and straight to the point.

This is inconstrast to my new workplace which is a big corporate company with
a few thousand employees. I honestly felt a little stupid the first few weeks.

Unfortunately, my take away from reading this, is to turn my child like
questions into more adult like, to fit into the corporate culture.

------
_curious_
"The questions are meant to prove points, not produce knowledge" = so true.

"I noticed, as well, that conversations in which I ask simpler questions are
more enjoyable and more interesting. These conversations lead to new ideas and
better plans." :)

"The way I’m working on this is to stop myself each time I’m about to ask a
question and figure out what I actually want to know, and then see if I can
just ask that specific question in no more than a single simple sentence."=
great technique!

------
the_greyd
I would have loved some actual questions. I've been reading some of Google's
Project Rework "What makes effective teams", and it revolves around
psychological safety. It is very accurate in terms of my experience as well as
a software engineer. If I feel empowered to ask questions like "what's the
goal of the project?" to upper management without sounding impudent, that
seems like a great culture to be in.

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fossuser
I like his example at the beginning, something I've thought about too. I've
noticed that most of the time people don't seem to ask at all.

[https://zalberico.com/essay/2017/02/21/asking-
questions.html](https://zalberico.com/essay/2017/02/21/asking-questions.html)

~~~
akharris
Have you found any effective ways to encourage new hires to ask questions?

~~~
fossuser
I've found it takes practice and encouragement (a few times). Basically they
have to realize that they really won't be hurt by admitting they don't
understand something. I think it's a learned skill. I also make an extra
effort to ask questions both to them when I'm trying to understand something
and in front of them to others when I don't understand something or want to
learn more about it (which is often).

That said, most of the new hires I've worked with were college grads right out
of school so this probably is partly influenced by that life stage in general.

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Alexbouaziz1
I love it! Thanks for sharing, what are some of the questions that triggered
that article?

I've personally found it helpful to build a circle of friends/founders who I
can ask those questions openly - truth is in most investors or even customers
meeting asking the basic questions often does more harm than good.

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woodandsteel
waitbutwhy.com is great at getting down to the child's level of questions. And
one reason Musk is so remarkably successful is he thinks at that level.

I study philosophy because it asks the most basic questions.

