
Ask HN: Any tips for a shy person who wants to do sales? - googlycooly
I&#x27;m shy and I feel weird talking to people, looking into their eyes. Talking to a group of people will make my voice shaking and I feel inferior and less confident whenever I talk to people.<p>But I want to do sales. How can I do this?
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mindcrime
Some ideas (in no particular order):

1\. Start lifting weights and training Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

2\. Join a Toastmasters chapter and start doing as many public talks as you
can.

3\. Go to all the various events you can, that involve mingling and talking
with people... yes, it will be painful at first, but condition yourself to get
used to it. Go to the various "mixers" put on by the local Chamber of
Commerce, and similar events. Or just all kind of Meetups that might interest
you.

4\. Hang out with other sales people and model their behavior.

5\. It's maybe a bit extreme, but you could try "rejection therapy".[1]

6\. It's a bit "out there", but honestly, one of the things that did wonders
for my self-confidence and assertiveness was the time I spent as a volunteer
firefighter. When you put yourself in an environment where you routinely deal
with literal "life and death" situations, it's hard not to develop a more
stoic / detached mindset, and to learn a "feel the fear and do it anyway"
approach.

7\. On a related note, there are a bunch of books on this topic, including one
titled "Feel The Fear, And Do It Anyway" (by Susan Jeffers). I have it,
skimmed a little bit of it, but never actually read it. It came highly
recommended though, so it might be worth a look.

8\. It's become a bit of a fad lately, which makes me hesitant to mention it,
but the Stoic philosophy has some appeal that might be relevant to you.
Reading some classic, or contemporary, works on Stoicism might be worthwhile.

9\. Read and study as much material on sales techniques / strategy as you can.
I have found that in some contexts (like my firefighting days) confidence
derives directly from training and the associated knowledge. Crawling inside a
burning house is scary, but it's less scary when you know how your protective
equipment works, when you understand how to recognize potential signs of an
imminent flashover, when you know you can always follow the hoseline back out
if you get lost, etc., etc. Know your techniques and tactics extremely well,
and you should find it easier to be more confident.

[1]:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rejection_Therapy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rejection_Therapy)

~~~
bigred100
“ 1. Start lifting weights and training Brazilian jiu-jitsu.”

Are people more likely to buy if they’re afraid you’ll attack them or
something?

~~~
mindcrime
Of course not, and learning BJJ has nothing to do with attacking people.

~~~
methusala8
Why would learning BJJ help in sales?

~~~
mindcrime
_Why would learning BJJ help in sales?_

It probably wouldn't. But that isn't the question here. Look at what the OP
wrote:

 _I 'm shy and I feel weird talking to people, looking into their eyes.
Talking to a group of people will make my voice shaking and I feel inferior
and less confident whenever I talk to people_

That isn't a sales problem, that's a basic, fundamental issue of confidence,
self-assurance, "frame of mind", or whatever you want to call it. If you can't
even look at people and talk to them, you're not "doing sales" yet.

What weight-lifting and jiu-jitsu _can_ help with, in my (admittedly
anecdotal) experience, is that "confidence, self-assurance, etc." stuff. The
stuff that's a prerequisite before even getting to the actual sales part.

~~~
bigred100
Since I don’t live in a dangerous area or work as an MMA fighter that stuff
wouldn’t help me. Frankly my opinion of what’s scary about people is self-
centeredness, social connections, whether they have willingness to throw me
under the bus for their benefit, etc. No help from jiu-jitsu unless it makes
them bond with you. Or maybe a (my opinion) small but noticeable positive
benefit looking athletic can give you.

------
muzani
Let's say you're selling a CRM. There's lots of CRMs out there and yours might
not even be the best.

But out there, someone is hacking together a CRM on Excel and it's just not
good enough. Someone out there is afraid of doing sales because they'll worry
they'll drop someone or double schedule a meeting. Someone out there is
struggling to pay their staff and can't raise wages because they can't make
enough sales. They've got a good development team, but just have trouble
taking their product to market.

If you don't sell to them, they might never know how you could help. Or they
might go to one of the many inferior CRMs. I worked with a CRM company once
and we used to run experiments on production, code had no tests and was highly
unstable. Some bought it to "support local businesses" and later on lost trust
for all "local businesses". So even if you're not selling the best product on
the market, it's unlikely you're selling the worst.

Don't rely on charisma. Don't charm them. Some people hate those kinds of
salespersons. A shy salesperson can build trust.

All you have to do is try to help them solve their problems. You're not trying
to convince people of anything. You're just explaining your product to the
people who already want to buy it.

------
amerkhalid
I would recommend join Toastmasters.

Toastmasters has apparently helped a lot of people develop their public
speaking skills. Their meetings also have impromptu questions, which help
members develop fast thinking before responding.

I joined them recently. So far I am really enjoying their meetings.

EDIT: I see a few more people have recommended Toastmasters. I will expand a
bit and say that Toastmasters should be first step. Reading books, meditation,
working out etc are all good options but they help you with public
speaking/shyness indirectly. But Toastmasters will help you with public
speaking immediately.

It is free to attend their meetings as guest for as long as you like. You can
try different clubs until you find one that you really enjoy.

After a while, you will get to know your club's members and it will get easy
for you speak in front of them. But then you can join local competitions where
several local Toastmaster clubs compete together. So you get to speak in front
of larger and different audience and continue improving your public speaking
skills.

------
parkerhd
You need a shift in perspective in order to drive the behavior you want. It
seems like past experiences have given you the mental lens of "I am inferior
to others / I don't have anything that other people want." This is going to
give you a cognitive bias every time you interact with people. The brain is
uncomfortable being wrong and will actually look for evidence that is not
there in order to confirm a flawed belief that it thinks will "keep you safe".

To change this, identify what beliefs may be limiting you. Can these be boiled
down to a more simple idea / level? Then challenge those beliefs in two ways:
first with logic (does this actually make reasonable sense?) with the aim of
inspiring doubt, then with daily controlled exposure with the aim of creating
a library of small experiences that your brain can weigh against past evidence
and form a new belief.

Action < Thoughts < Beliefs < Experiences

This is why most people suggest working out, taking a martial art class, going
to bars, or other things because all of these help create that different point
of reference- which is everything. There's many things you can do and only you
really know what they are. More than likely, they're the things that you think
about but feel hesitation over, and as I mentioned, there are a lot so by the
simply fact that it's occurred to you it's likely relevant and worth trying.

I'd recommend seeing a counselor; it's great. Bonus points if they have a
sense of humor... and try brazillian jujitsu.

And remember, you're not trying to sell things to people: people want to buy
things from you and they need your help, and you're offering a service. If
there's resistance, it's because they don't understand the value.

Good luck!

------
sjg007
Sales is all about listening. Listening to your customer and their needs and
solve their problems with or without your product. That’s it. But first just
listen.

~~~
1ba9115454
That's good advice. You can direct the conversation to pains they may have
that your solution/product solves, but essentially a salesperson is there to
identify pain.

------
QuanticSausage
I can't tell you exactly how I got out of that situation because it was a
gradual change. But one thing you should do is practice. Practice being funny,
practice body language, practice following the thread of a conversation,
practice being interesting. Practice this with other people, and catch every
bit of feedback that you can: try to infer what their faces tell you, if
they're comfortable with you or not, what do those people like and dislike.
Try to stay away from other awkward guys, you can't learn anything from them
unless they're sociable, which means they're not totally awkward. You'll also
find that a great deal of people will try to take advantage of you. Try to
stay away from people that ignore you when trying to talk to them, or don't
hold what you say as important. If they dismiss you, then you must have the
courage to dismiss them.

~~~
jerome-jh
Starting "Try to stay away from other awkward guys", sounds like you are
explaining how to handle sales people.

------
mrandish
I'm not sure shyness is a problem. Some of the most effective and big dollar-
earning enterprise salespeople I ever met were quiet introverts. They were
successful because they took the time to listen, understand customer's
problems and genuinely try to help. They also had deep product and domain
knowledge.

~~~
muzani
I second this. All the top salesmen I knew, even the charismatic ones, were
really introverts.

Part of their charm was practice, part of it was excitement for the product,
part of it was some kind of inner fanaticism to help the customer.

------
lowdose
You have to read this book "Flip the script" by Oren Klaff. This book
describes basically how you can make a sales script for your business like
Jordan Belfort had during his cold-call telephone sale in the movie "The wolf
of Wall Street".

It is a killer to read and will redefine how you look at sales in way that
will come completely natural to you as introvert.

[https://www.amazon.com/Flip-Script-Getting-People-
Think/dp/0...](https://www.amazon.com/Flip-Script-Getting-People-
Think/dp/052553394X)

------
vimanuelt
Here's what my mentor taught me when starting: (1) Learn about the product you
are selling. (2) Use the product you are selling. (3) Don't sell, but rather
expose others to the product.

If you do not know or use the product, then it is difficult for a new
salesperson to help the customer.

When you expose someone to a product, be sure to give them a way out by
letting them know it is okay if they want to pass up the opportunity. There
doesn't need to be any pressure when presenting opportunities.

------
antaviana
Ensure that you understand the pain points of your customers and strive to
figure out solutions. People tend to buy from people they trust, not from
people they like. Ensure that they trust you.

------
kleer001
Practice empathy. Concentrate more on other people's states (emotion,
thoughts, motivations) than your own.

------
jiveturkey
imagine them naked is the classic go-to solution.

practice, practice, practice. Toastmasters would be a good start.

but also, realize that not every job is for every person. find your strength
elsewhere and don't look back!

~~~
sethammons
I've never understood the "imagine them naked" thing. That would be more
awkward.

------
cvaidya1986
Listen

