
Why is the wedding industry so hard to disrupt? - anuragsoni
https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/3/1/18246428/wedtech-wedding-startups-zola-the-knot
======
astura
>According to The Knot’s annual survey, the average wedding in 2017 cost
$33,391, a slight dip from $35,329 in 2016, but still more than half of the
median annual household income in the United States.

Uhhhh... I absolutely hate when the media uncritically (or at least without
context/a disclaimer) parrots The Kont's "Real Weddings Survey" as meaningful,
because, IMO, this number is somewhere between very misleading and complete
bullshit.

Some issues:

-Selection bias - only includes people who sign up for wedding websites, (or in the case of Brides magazine’s “American Wedding Study,” subscribe to wedding magazines) which, by definition, excludes people who have reasonably priced weddings. People whose weddings are a BBQ in the backyard aren't signing up for wedding websites and subscribing to wedding magazines.

-Reporting on average without including median, which is much, much less. One million dollar wedding can skew the average very high, and like I said before, the low side isn't even included in the data set to offset the Chelsea Clintons.

-Conflict of interest - the wedding industry itself is the only one reporting these figures and the wedding industry has a vested interest in reporting astronomical numbers because it gets you primed to spend spend spend.

[https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/03/average-wedding-
cos...](https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/03/average-wedding-cost-
published-numbers-on-the-price-of-a-wedding-are-totally-inaccurate.html)

~~~
paulddraper
How can someone with a straight face report _mean_ wedding cost against
_median_ salary?

So little jounalistic quality/scientific integrity.

~~~
sk5t
Unfortunately, it's very challenging to hire wedding scientists nowadays,
since the HFT firms have snapped them up.

~~~
paulddraper
I'll settle for journalists with an understanding of high school stats.

------
wgerard
I spent some time researching this mostly because I was curious, but basically
the answer to "why are weddings so expensive" and also "why is it so hard to
disrupt the wedding industry" are largely the same in my opinion:

Because people have extremely high expectations for the major expenses of a
wedding (venue, flowers, band, etc.).

The joke (and I even see it here) is that you can go to a baker and say "I
want a cake" and they'll say "$20" but if you say "it's for a wedding" the
price becomes $100. Why? Because if one iota of that cake is decorated
incorrectly, the baker will hear hell about it - maybe not from your wedding
party, but for every reasonable wedding party there are 99 expecting
perfection.

So, it's not a huge surprise to me that wedding vendors have been hard to
disrupt - it seems logical to assume that mass market usually comes with a
reduction in quality compared to bespoke (or at least a bespoke-like
experience), and people mostly refuse that and are willing to pay a huge
premium for weddings (begrudgingly, admittedly).

~~~
JMTQp8lwXL
I don't know if I believe the price goes up that much because of the fear of a
Bridezilla.

I would compare it more to, a regular cake has like, 2 9's SLA of being what
you wanted. But for a wedding cake, people want 5 9's. They want enterprise
Cake, that's always available and exactly as they expected.

So that's what they pay for. If I was working with a vendor, a plain-old
regular cake with 2 9's availability would be fine for me. I'm unwilling to
pay 4x as much for something, just to chase a very diminishing improvement.

~~~
karmakaze
Interesting, how about RAIC(ake)? Order several of the 2x9s cakes and use the
best one(s) on the day.

~~~
dotancohen
Even better, _display_ the best of the cakes but _serve_ them all. The honour
of having the cake displayed - ahem advertising - goes to the baker with the
best cake.

~~~
JMTQp8lwXL
This is how Jeff Bezos would plan a wedding. Just like how all those cities
made pretty proposals for HQ2. Oof, too soon.

------
kevin_b_er
At least Vox has pointed it out: An app/website cannot replace a building for
a venue. An app cannot replace the band. It cannot replace the photographer.

What can it do? Attempt to be a middleman that extracts wealth from the
sellers' margins.

In this case, the workers are not "gig economy" but professionals. They cannot
be bullied nearly so easily as Uber can do with lopsided agreements and
pittances in money to the desperate.

They can try to make it easier to connect these professionals with couples,
but since people like to talk directly with these professionals and get the
planning as part of the "experience", the two groups will bypass the middleman
app's rent seeking through direct negotiation.

So the industry resist control by a tech company, simply because you cannot
distill the whole process into swipes in an app + a credit card. This means
the tech company needs service. It cannot have explosive tech-only growth
where the only things needed are another few devs and more rented cloud
servers.

~~~
zdragnar
This seems like one of the more salient comments on this thread.

When I got married, there's no way that I would have selected any of the
vendors through an app. Even if I were inclined to discover them that way, my
wife and I met with every vendor in person to evaluate their work, personality
(as a proxy for reliability) and discuss pricing. It is an intimately personal
affair, and I simply don't see room for a middle man. Even with a wedding
planner, the couple getting married still often go through all of those steps.

MAYBE what could be done is to provide a party planning system; specify type
of occasion, select from suggested categories of vendors, and let the system
manage an assortment of the necessary details, including meeting times. Even
in this situation, it's going to be extremely location-dependent. Imagine the
complexity of organizing data for Door Dash or Grubhub, multiplied by all of
the other categories of vendors (venue, supplies, decoration, setup, cleanup,
so forth).

------
dbot
Startups win on creating efficiency: saving time and/or money. Compare that to
a hobby, almost the entire point of which is to consume time and money...

Wedding planning feels more analogous to a hobby. My wife and I enjoyed the
time we spent together while planning...tasting cakes, "dates" at caterers,
looking at flowers, picking out attire, etc. Yes, there were some stressful
moments, but if we had a startup that was designed to "streamline" everything,
we would have missed out on that experience.

~~~
JMTQp8lwXL
Maybe all of the discrete parts (the venue, the entree, the dessert) are more-
or-less commodities, but it's how we package these things together that
prevents an end-to-end commoditization of "wedding as a service".

It cheapens the experience if planning a wedding is as simple as going to a
McDonald's drive-thru. For something that's supposed to be once-in-a-lifetime,
I don't think people would want an app where they could just customize a few
options, and have an entire wedding planned. The point of it, really, is that
it isn't supposed to easy.

~~~
basch
Maybe I'm a minority, but I love a management layer between me any anything.
Any sort of software that offers a checklist, reviews, comparisons, contact
management, status updates, progress bars, gantt charts, budgets, registries,
seating, warnings about conflict or missed deadlines. I should be able to open
the "my wedding app" click food, and within a click be able to contact any of
my vendors. People helping me plan should be able to read each others
communications so they can pick up where I left off. I should be able to add
anyone in the wedding party, and even guests, and they see information that is
relevant to them. Yelp+Slant+Mint+Intercom for the planning industry sounds
great.

The thing that just a budget and schedule lacks is being able to watch each
others progress and preferences.

~~~
ghaff
I assumed (and I see there are) all sorts of online tools that purport to help
with planning. Many people also set up websites these days. I assume these
have affiliate links and the like but they're not exactly disruptive
applications.

~~~
basch
Some of them all do one or a couple parts of what I described, but they are
all designed to be "easy and simple" more than powerful. And I really doubt
most of them do things like watch my credit card to keep track of how much has
been paid out.

There's plenty of room for innovation, with some more imagination.

------
evrydayhustling
There are a lot of properties in common with real estate: for buyers the
experience is rare and intense, at a huge information disadvantage. For
service sellers, the transaction is repeated endlessly, in the same local
market with the same people. There are many incentives and opportunities for
service providers to work together to resist disruption.

~~~
mr_tristan
Considering that the biggest expense of a wedding is the venue, then services
(band, photographer), I could see the direct correlation to real estate.

I'm not sure you could get the venue owners to drop rates, because it sure
doesn't seem like many have much of a demand shortage. Wedding venues seem to
be booked way far out in advance, and don't seem to have any issues with
vacancies. And I'm sure they are well aware of each others' rates.

Anecdotally, I also see large disincentives to lower costs for the other major
services. Musicians who play weddings do so because the gig pays well, not
because playing crappy covers is what they really want to do. Pretty sure the
same goes for photographers - if the wedding business wasn't so lucrative,
they'd probably just go do something else with their lives. They're all
professional, but I'm not sure many would identify as a "wedding singer", just
"musician" or "photographer". But, I'd guess they too are very aware of each
other's rates, which gives them no reason to work for less money.

Not sure what there's to "disrupt" here other than culture. And if there's one
true rule I've learned: Culture eats strategy for breakfast.

~~~
WhompingWindows
I've gigged as a pianist and it's really not worth it, financially speaking -
I only do it for the fun/joy of making music. Have you considered the cost of
gear, the rehearsals, transit, tear down/setup, down-time without music, and
dealing with shitty clients who expect more than the verbal agreement? When
you deal with all of that, the money is not good, it's just about bringing joy
with my piano music, having an audience that is often very complimentary and
provides meaning to the 1000's of practice hours I have put in.

Financially, I make the same in a single 8 h day of coding that I do in my
average "2 h" gigs, which really take 5 hours or so all inclusive, and which
only occur 5-10 times per year. If I quit my full time position and tried to
get more gigs, I'd get maybe 2 or 3 times more, and my income would go down
about by 50k or around 75%.

~~~
mr_tristan
Lemme clarify that "pays well" meant "pays well in comparison to their other
gigs". Which is still pretty bad, in comparison to doing pretty much anything
else. Just a sad fact that almost all musicians make absolutely nothing.

Given that music is already the #2 cost for weddings, I'm not sure how you
"disrupt that" other than not hiring musicians.

~~~
dagw
_I 'm not sure how you "disrupt that" other than not hiring musicians._

I haven't been to a lot of weddings, but non of the weddings I've been to the
past few years had a band. So maybe that's already happening.

------
kop316
As someone who is planning a wedding, I don't really see what they are trying
to "disrupt"? I am thinking the major costs for a wedding are:

\- Rings \- Dress (wedding dress/men's dress) \- Venue \- Food \- Cake \-
Photographer \- Music/"DJ"/MC \- "extras"

Many of those can be rolled up into a venue (i.e. the venue supplies food, DJ,
Cake, etc.), and personally, my fiancé nor I want to spend a lot of money on
it.

So it feels like where they are disrupting are the "nice to haves" (expensive
dress, cards, etc.) and not focusing on the "need to haves" (Food, venue,
etc.)

~~~
SketchySeaBeast
> (i.e. the venue supplies food, DJ, Cake, etc.), and personally, my fiancé
> nor I want to spend a lot of money on it

That's where we were at - we ended up renting out a restaurant for the evening
- as long as they made what they normally make for an evening they were happy
to have less people come in. They went all out on the food as they were
feeding 30 people with it instead of the usual restaurant crowd. Our wedding
cake was a nicer version of their regular chocolate cake (again, included in
the food cost). Our music was the restaurants usual music. It was an
excellent.

In regards to the dress, if you're non-traditional there's a ton of off-white
non-wedding dresses that look perfectly acceptable and cost a tenth of the
wedding varieties.

~~~
kop316
I am leaving it up to the person wearing the dress. She was looking at used,
but I do ultimately want her to be happy with it too. Thank you for the
suggestion though!

We considered the restaurant option as well. But I think we are going to work
with one event space that is actually very reasonable and fairly inclusive
with everything.

The pricing variance between venues was insane (some charged to rent the
space, come charged a price minimum, some charged for things other did not,
some just had some different requirements).

~~~
SketchySeaBeast
>I am leaving it up to the person wearing the dress. She was looking at used,
but I do ultimately want her to be happy with it too. Thank you for the
suggestion though!

I'd never suggest otherwise. My wife couldn't stomach the thought of spending
thousands of dollars on a dress, so she went for a cheaper alternative.

We were married directly in the restaurant (like I said, we're non-
traditional), so it was just the one venue for us. The restaurant was
incredibly helpful the whole time - they seemed to really enjoy being able to
provide fine dining and change up their menu and venue as well.

Just thought I'd offer up my experience. Best of luck with your wedding, and I
hope it's the start of a long and happy marriage.

~~~
kop316
Thank you! I appreciate hearing your thoughts on it.

------
alexhutcheson
Companies that use "total spend on weddings" as a proxy for their total
addressable market are either naive or disingenuous.

For couples having a "big wedding", 80%+ of the cost goes to: catering, venue,
photographer, dress, flowers. All of those require a business with a local
presence - a web startup isn't going to be able to replace any of those.

The companies mentioned in the article are actually tackling wedding line
items that represent a much smaller fraction of the wedding's budget:
stationary, registries, wedding websites, and wedding planning tools. Median
spend for websites and planning tools is probably $0, because most couples are
fine with free website creators (often provided as a loss leader) and Excel
spreadsheets.

They're also aiming to collect referral fees or advertising spend from the
vendors that actually provide the big line items. However, the total market
there is "advertising budgets of other wedding vendors", not "total wedding
vendor revenue".

------
docker_up
Because weddings are based on emotions, not based on money or logic. The
average wedding in San Francisco is $80,000, which is fucking insane. But it's
just how it is, and you won't get someone to change that with "facts". Many
things can get disrupted, but when the entire industry is based on emotions,
you can't change people's minds.

~~~
snarf21
Exactly this. They are buying a fantasy, a dream. Who wants a $500 dream? They
are only doing this _once_ and it is the most important day of their entire
life so money should be no object!

~~~
ekovarski
Even the "doing this once" is us giving into our emotions and assuming that
absolutely nothing can go wrong in marriage.

“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your
emotions.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert

~~~
landryraccoon
Engaged couples have to give in to those emotions though, or the entire
fiction of marriage falls apart.

If people seriously thought the risk of a marriage going wrong was significant
why would they ever get married? So anyone who actually goes through with the
wedding has to be completely emotionally all in already. Arguing against
giving into emotions is tantamount to arguing they shouldn't get married in
the first place.

~~~
astura
I don't think this is accurate.

The risk of business failure is similar to the risk of divorce yet people
don't consider starting a business a "fiction entirely based on irrational
emotions." It's not, just like marriage is not.

And since more unmarried couples split up than married couples, you're
actually arguing against romantic relationships entirely.

Using this logic, since you usually lose touch with many friends over the
years, why have friends at all then? You're probably going to outlive your
pet, so why get a pet at all if it's just going to die?

Just because something ends doesn't mean it wasn't worth it for the time it
lasted and even if it wasn't, taking some risk isn't entirely irrational.

~~~
landryraccoon
I’m actually very sympathetic to your views, but I also don’t think that
mainstream culture agrees with this at all.

Take a look at these wedding vows, which I think are still representative :

[https://allseasonsweddings.com/wedding-ceremonies-
readings/t...](https://allseasonsweddings.com/wedding-ceremonies-
readings/traditional-wedding-vow-full)

Do you think it’s at all common that engaged couples would be happy to give up
the vow of lifelong commitment (literally until death) or that mainstream
culture would agree with you? I highly doubt it. Whatever the pragmatic view
you support, neither marriage vows, romantic comedies, disney movies or
religion seems to go along with it.

------
mrhappyunhappy
Because people have these movie weddings in their minds and are willing to
pony up anything for a day to remember. Personally I find the whole experience
rather sad and very very overrated. I have been to many weddings and opted out
of the entire experience when it came to ours. Best decision I’ve ever made.
Wife mostly feels the same but occasionally wonders what it would be like to
have a traditional wedding. I don’t know, maybe the fact that I’ve been to so
many weddings in itself has ruined the experience for me? Everyone I’ve even
seen married never seem to have a great time - there is always a ton of
stress, discomfort, expense and cliches that feel rather silly. I know women
are the ones who mostly look forward to this, so hopefully they are getting
their money’s worth and that day to remember.

~~~
brandonmenc
Anecdotally, my family threw a large traditional wedding for my sister, and it
was magical. Three years later, people still tell us it was the best event
they've ever attended.

Don't assume that everyone who has an expensive, traditional wedding hates it
- that's as bad as turning up a nose at affordable or quirky weddings.

~~~
mrhappyunhappy
Sure, I’m not saying everyone has a miserable time. A lot of that likely
depends on your standing in society and your family. My observations most
likely reflect my standing and of the people I know. I think it’s great if
someone is able to have an amazing time!

------
ufmace
I don't claim to know that much about it, but nothing I've heard suggests that
there's that much room for automation in the industry. Every wedding is a one-
off with at least some custom requirements, and none are ever repeated. Where
does an app or website come in? The experienced people in the industry know
who to trust to get it right, who can do what, and roughly what it costs. They
have the human ability to take care of the small problems without bothering
the family, and know what issues to escalate to them.

Maybe the planners would like and be willing to pay for some tool that helped
them organize things, but there's probably too much individual customization
needed to make any such solution practical to build cheaper and better than
Excel or something.

------
ape4
I think when people spend $30K on a wedding they don't start by saying I am
going to spend $30K. It just comes out in drips. Like $500 for flowers, etc.

~~~
te_chris
IDK, perhaps it's cos we're 31 and 32 so a bit more mature and had been warned
and been able to talk to friends who've done it. But once we got enough info
to get an idea of cost per head for food, venue hire fee, we then put together
a spreadsheet and were bang on. YMMV, but it's really not that hard to
anticipate most of the costs.

~~~
astura
The wedding industry is _really_ heavy on the upsell and some people are
really susceptible to it, I guess.

------
brandonmenc
I've worked in the wedding industry.

You have _one chance_ to get it right for your clients - there are no do-
overs. People only get one wedding day and if you screw it up, you've ruined
it for them and they will talk about it for decades to come.

There is no "fail fast" in this realm. Tread lightly.

------
thepangolino
It’s because there is no “wedding” industry. There is an events industry with
its various subsets.

~~~
SketchySeaBeast
It's various industries with a "wedding" multiplier. "Wedding" dresses are
thousands of dollars, but roughly equivalent normal dresses are hundreds. The
minute you say "wedding cake" instead of "chocolate cake" the cost skyrockets.

~~~
JMTQp8lwXL
Why would anybody ever share that their cake purchase is for a wedding, then?
Wouldn't everyone just say 'give me a chocolate cake' to save money?

Unless there's something about the cake design that obviously gives away the
context of your request to the vendor --but beyond that-- it seems
disadvantageous to disclose the information.

~~~
SketchySeaBeast
It really depends on if you want a "wedding cake" or not. If you want a
wedding cake, you gotta say it, cause it has a particular look and feel.

~~~
JMTQp8lwXL
I'm picturing a multi-tiered cake, but I don't really see anything unique
about it. Maybe the designs/patterns they use to apply the frosting are
different for wedding cakes?

I'll be honest, I haven't seen many wedding cakes. I've seen far more regular
cakes. If I went to a wedding, and someone wanted to trick by serving non-
wedding cake, I'd be fooled.

~~~
SketchySeaBeast
Oh yeah, we went full regular chocolate cake for ours. Wasn't a "wedding"
cake, but was way more delicious.

~~~
JMTQp8lwXL
I've been to weddings where people do cupcakes in lieu of cake. Everyone gets
dessert faster, since you don't have to cut it up and serve it individually. I
was a fan of the planned efficiency. The couple did actually have a small cake
for the ceremonial cutting of the cake. Beyond that, everyone was OK with
cupcakes, if they cared to eat dessert.

------
save_ferris
The surface area of weddings as a solvable problem is insane, partially
because the variance in what people want out of a wedding is huge, and since
the cost is usually so high, people are less incentivized to compromise on
what they do and don't want.

Then it becomes a configuration problem. You could build a platform that
connects couples with wedding vendors, but you might struggle to make that
platform flexible enough to allow people to search for all aspects of what
they're looking for. Food is a good example of this. When I got married, I had
3 separate dietary requirements I had to meet, which most caterers weren't
able or willing to accommodate without a drastic price increase.

It would've been really difficult to build a platform that vendors would fill
out fully because there are probably dozens of questions to ask.

I'm sure there are other reasons as well, but that was the biggest pain point
for my wedding.

------
ratling
Fiddler On the Roof has it: TRADITION.

People get real salty if they've done something for generations and then
suddenly you want to change things (or more likely things changed around
them). See all rural politics.

~~~
sverige
Even most liberal women become Burkean conservatives when it comes to planning
their wedding. I mean, why are flowers required? Why does there need to be
some sort of feast? Why is music and dancing required? Why have a public event
at all, when you can go to a courthouse, have a judge administer some basic
acknowledgement with a couple witnesses, and call it a day?

~~~
michaelt
It's easy to over-estimate how much average couples are spending, because
basic math means you get invited to 50x more 100-guest weddings than 2-guest
weddings.

------
mrfusion
I have a theory and so far it’s always been true.

Things that people don’t do frequently never get fixed!

Examples:

DMV

Customs

Weddings

Buying a mattress

Real estate

Anytime you come across high prices and broken processes check it against this
rule.

~~~
JMTQp8lwXL
Health care is something people use frequently, has broken processes, and high
prices, and will seemingly never be fixed.

~~~
mrfusion
I’d argue the majority of people don’t use it frequently.

~~~
JMTQp8lwXL
Maybe not average aged working people, but everybody I know in the 60+ age
group (mostly family) usually has regular interactions with the medical
system, or at a rate far higher than 25-45 year olds.

And there's a lot of older people. As a cohort, there's only slightly fewer
boomers than millennials.

~~~
titanomachy
Old people aren't necessarily the ones in a position to change the system. And
the old people with power don't use the public system.

------
chadash
A few aspects of weddings _have_ been disrupted:

\- Registries: the article itself talks about Zola, for example. Although
traditional registry sites (e.g. bloomingdales, bed bath and beyond) seem to
still have most of the market in my experience.

\- Invitations: You can still go to someone local for this, especially if you
need something customized, but more and more people are creating their
invitations online.

But there are a bunch of pieces of the wedding that are stubborn to change.
Other major expenses include venue, catering, photography, flowers and
music/entertainment. But finding these things, which often involves driving
out and meeting with someone face-to-face, or at least talking to them over
the phone, is part of the process that people love about weddings.

 _Companies_ spend $30,000 on events. But most _people_ spend $30,000 (or
whatever your wedding costs) are paying for the experience of planning the
party. My wife insisted on driving out to sample caterers' food (which for me
was the best part of wedding planning) and meeting the potential photographers
in person.

If this was strictly a business transaction, then yes, an app could probably
make this more convenient. But the process is part of the experience that
people seem to like.

EDIT: A lot of people don't see the rationality in having a big, expensive
wedding that takes a long time to plan. My brother had close friends and
family at a restaurant and it was great. If more people did that, then the
wedding industry would be "disrupted". But I'd venture to guess that most
people spending large amounts of money on their weddings _enjoy_ the current
aspects of the process.

------
everdrive
The answer is definitely brides. 5k is "cheap for a wedding dress," and 8k is
"cheap for a venue."

Why must these things be so expensive? You might as well ask why engagement
rings are so expensive, or why dowries used to (and in some places still do)
exist.

The parties involved see this as an existential purchase, not a practical
purchase. The cost and and sacrifice you must give up is a reflection of the
value of the bride. Skimping on a cost or a service is seen as an admission
that the bride lacks value.

~~~
diminoten
This is a pretty sexist way to look at it...

~~~
slothtrop
I don't think it's far from the truth however. Consider the contrived societal
expectation, devised by De Beers, to spend 1 month's salary on a ring. You can
get an elegant diamond ring for far less, but we make a virtue out of spending
in excess here and that extends to the wedding. It's not that men aren't
complicit in this, but the more socially desirable the bride, and you know
what that means, the more pressure there is to spend.

~~~
diminoten
That's just... completely untrue, and is _definitely_ sexist.

By the way, that De Beers campaign was marketed at the _men_ , not the women,
so it's men that are falling for that rule just as much, if not more, than
women are demanding it.

Putting the cost of weddings at the feet of the brides is ridiculous.

For reference, I'm getting married in April, and it's been my wonderful bride
who has kept costs way down, compared to my wild spending ideas.

~~~
monocasa
It was marketed towards both. Men to go out and buy the rings, women not to
accept rings 'beneath them'.

Advertising is absolutely just straight up sexist in a lot of cases, and
people (speaking in the broad strokes that you have to when talking about
complete populations) eat that up.

I definitely know someone who got turned down because the ring he bought her
wasn't expensive enough. Personally I think he dodged a bullet, but that's
neither here nor there there.

Advertisers use sexist advertising because it works.

[https://youtu.be/85HT4Om6JT4](https://youtu.be/85HT4Om6JT4)

------
eli_gottlieb
Well, I think it's because my partner and I avoided _the Wedding Industry(TM)_
entirely, as are every other couple we know who want to avoid paying through
the nose to act out other families' stereotypes of a "good" wedding, all to
make _our_ families miserable.

So we never employed anyone who Works on Weddings, and years later, our
friends still insist it was the best wedding they've ever been to. All for
~$6,000.

------
stevesimmons
Here is how we cut our wedding bill for 120 people from 45k to 10k!

Our wedding planning experience got off to a bad start when we told our
wedding planner we had no specific budget. He took that to mean an unlimited
budget... and came back with a plan for a 100 person medieval-themed party in
fancy dress, complete with monogrammed plates and dancing midgets. Total cost
around 45k euros. (The midgets alone were 1.5k!)

So we sacked him and did it for 1/4 of the cost:

\- Timing - Switch to a Thursday, with an afternoon ceremony and evening
dinner. No problems getting a venue. We decided not to stress about people who
couldn't make it midweek.

\- Venue for ceremony - The venue was a medieval cloister in the middle of
Amsterdam. By doing it on a Thursday afternoon, we paid their standard rates
for a business meeting. We made friends with the venue manager. He was able to
provide post-ceremony drinks and nibbles at much cheaper rates.

\- Celebrant - A friend who did weddings in a another region was able to
register with the city council to be our celebrant. Zero cost.

\- Fancy dress - As a joke to the wedding planner's medieval idea, we
surprised our best man etc with ridiculous medieval fancy dress. A cheap way
to help everyone laugh even more at their speeches.

\- Flowers - The previous evening, the venue was used for the Dutch 'Wildlife
Photographer of the Year' awards presentation. The friendly venue manager kept
their flowers for us. Zero cost.

\- Wedding cake - Decided we could do without this if people had nice post-
ceremony drinks. Zero cost.

\- Dinner - Booked out a nearby restaurant for the night. They could seat 80.
That worked fine as from the 120 guests, many families with kids appreciated
the option to go home after the post-ceremony drinks. The restaurant arranged
all the catering at their standard reasonable prices. Very nice meal served by
professional staff. Zero stress. After dessert, everyone gathered at the bar
area and talked and enjoyed themselves til 1am.

\- Photographer - A friend asked if she could take photos. Problem solved at
zero cost.

\- Band/dancing - Neither of us wanted this. Lots of clubs nearby for people
who wanted to go out afterwards.

I definitely recommend booking a standard restaurant for a wedding dinner.
Don't go to a specialist wedding venue!

------
JustSomeNobody
Why?

Because you'd have to AirBnB the destination, Uber the guests there, Blue
Apron the food/cake, Facebook the invitations/web site, etc...

IOW, what I'm saying is you would have to be multiple startups in one.

------
euroclydon
If you used economies of scale to bring down the cost of a wedding, then
weddings would be very similar, and it's doubtful that's what the customers
want.

