
How to Become Convincing - andrewnc
https://dcgross.com/how-to-convince-people/
======
BenoitP
> Listen. Try to ascertain what the person really wants. This requires
> listening at a whole new level. When they talk, notice what causes their
> eyes their eyes to light up.

This a hundred times. When you have pitched an idea long enough (30 times?
depends on the idea evolving) the words just flow out of your mouth; and then
you can start reading the eyebrows as the words then require no cognition.

Pitch a story with a digest/summary of your idea, and dive into specific
content right there when the eyebrow is raised. The eyebrow will tell you what
their value system is. The eyebrow will help you make an impact by letting
them lead the conversation, and get follow up meetings.

This means structuring your pitch as a quick scan for them, with reaction-
triggering items first. Looking up the background of the interlocutor will
help with the order of items.

Also, don't try to say everything you wanted to say. Just let them integrate
your item into the coherence of their mind, at their pace. At this point,
listening to them is them hearing you.

~~~
youngNed
Someone Pitching An Idea: Its late at night, you're kinda hungry, you also
need to get home and you've had a few beers, you _want_ a kebab, but you
_need_ a cab. Thats when you need the KABAB - the driver shows up and cooks
you your kebab while they drive you home.

VC Dude: raises eyebrow

Someone Pitching An Idea: I've found your value system

VC Dude: get out.

~~~
t0mbstone
What about a KEBAB that brings you kebabs?

That company exists, and it's called Uber Eats.

Sometimes an idea just needs a small tweak to be viable!

------
sixhobbits
Please don't do this. This idea has spread ad nauseum through copywriting,
sales, marketing and product management teams.

Whenever I visit a product page these days, I have no idea what it does. It's
trying to tell me how much better it'll make my life instead.

Just be direct and stop playing games.

~~~
rramadass
Amen! Companies are spewing full-on BS (euphemistically called USP/Positioning
etc.) in trying to market/sell their "stuff". In-spite of being a technical
guy, often i can hardly understand (due to the obfuscations employed) what the
product does, making it difficult to judge the value proposition for myself.
There is no more reality and truth, everything is a facade and falsehood.

A good example, was the pitch for a product "Sidekick" here on HN a few days
ago. This was basically just a always on tele-conferencing app on a tablet but
was posted as "revolutionary" something (their website too was full of
hyperbole) and quite rightly, got called out on it.

------
wiz21c
FTA : "Listen. Try to ascertain what the person really wants."

Funny, to me "convincing" is usually the act of making someone agree to what
_you_ have in mind. And I envy those who can do that 'cos usually I don't have
the strength to do it :-(

~~~
brlewis
Outside of physical force, the way to make someone agree to what _you_ have in
mind is to show them how it ties into what _they_ want.

~~~
wiz21c
Yes of course, but most of the time my ideas are somewhat "on the edge" so
it's very difficult fro anybody to accept, so it's tough to convince.

Example 1 : run free software, it's better. Example 2 : what about sharing a
car ? Example 3 : what about not buying useless gifts ?

I usually want to convince people _not to do_ things instead of doing more or
better. So the odds are against me :-)

------
oxymoran
“Suppose you want someone to quit smoking. The fantasy you want to plant is
how youthful they’ll feel when they stop. The most effective way to incept a
person isn’t to say those words. Instead, say something like: “it must feel
wonderful to run 3 miles in the wilderness, take a breath of fresh air and
really live life.”

When was the last time you met a smoker that wanted to run around the block,
let alone 3 miles? This article was nonsense.

~~~
watwut
I was smoking the most around the time I was most fit and did a lot of sport.
I learned to smoke in the sports club. And drink too and swear a lot too.

People who do sports are no puritans.

------
BrandoElFollito
I hate these marketing ideas.

I actually tell vendors to strip the first 20% of their presentation because I
am not interested in their history and learning that security is important (my
pro topic).

I also tell them I will have extremely technical questions so they better have
a technical guy.

Lastly, I tell them I will need their pricing.

About 50% of companies actually follow what I am asking them. About 10% is
genuinely glad to go that way and we often contract.

I had one company once coming with a demo disk array (ca. late 90's). They
told me that nothing can break their RAID technology so I just pulled a disk
out and everything crashed. They told me that this is not the way I am
supposed to behave and they will not do business with inconsiderate people.

They were so disappointed in me that it was borderline touching. These were
the pre-powerpoint times and companies would send knowledgeable people. We
ended not buying their product but stayed in touch.

------
kthejoker2
Convincing is a function of the evidence and the jury.

If your evidence is strong, highlight the evidence.

If it's weak, practice your Cialdini and Carnegie. Manipulating people is a
time honored tactic.

But don't kid yourself about which of the two you're doing.

------
infinity0
How to Become Convincing

treat everyone like an idiot

disclaimer: only works on idiots

anti-disclaimer: that is 90% of the population, including "successful" people

------
youngNed
tl;dr

Whenever someone tells you something, don't listen to their actual words,
rather make up a story and apply it to them, respond to that instead.

Aso, if you do listen 'be like Kellyanne Conway' and disregard that as well
and suggest something entirely different.

I don't have the strength to go on, but that is, and i don't say this lightly,
one of the worst things i have read on an internet.

~~~
slewis
Sounds like you’re not convinced.

~~~
youngNed
How to convince people by Young Ned

Don't tell them to be like Kellyanne fkn Conway

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

