
Ask HN: how to find a good mentor? - aledalgrande
I feel I need one, especially as I'm going to try and do my first real startup, but I don't know where to find such a person.<p>1) Where do you find this kind of people? Incubators? Posh parties? Shared work spaces? Networking?<p>2) Should the mentor be a person highly experienced? Or just more experienced than me?<p>3) I know it's a bidirectional exchange so I have to provide something to have it. How is this really working?<p>4) And in time scale, how much does a good mentor follow his protegé?<p>Thanks for any suggestion!
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georgespencer
You don't need a mentor. You need to start doing interesting things.

When you're doing interesting things you will meet people who are motivated to
help you.

People won't take much of an interest in a person who is looking for a mentor
but not doing anything.

Stop overthinking this. Establish relationships with other entrepreneurs near
you. You can shoot the shit with them when things are good and when things are
bad. You'll get introduced to other interesting people.

One day maybe you'll meet the fairy godmother you seem to be seeking, but if
you don't you'll have made a start and know some interesting people. And,
crucially, you'll be doing something.

 __Edit __: Just saw that you're based in London. Go to the meetups and
hackathons and python dojos and LRUG etc.

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aledalgrande
Thanks georgespencer, that got me realise probably I'm just planning stuff
that doesn't go planned.

I was going to meetups and LRUG, but in most of them I just found people that
talk and don't do, so I decided I stopped going until I roll out something or
at least do some customer dev.

Thing is with this approach I won't meet any fellow entrepreneur, too extreme,
isn't it? ;)

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taumeson
I'm going to disagree with georgespencer -- not with his perfectly reasonable
suggestions, but with the premise that it's not worth seeking out a mentor. On
the face of it, nobody "needs" a mentor, but the entire idea behind a mentor
is face-to-face networking and advice. In addition, you will be borrowing your
mentor's bona fides when you're having lunch with connections you've made via
your mentor, and this can go a long way. A friend of mine has Gary Reiner for
a mentor -- having that kind of horsepower behind your idea is priceless.

Having said all this, your best bet is to network and seek out introductions.
You can't come in "cold", but "lukewarm" is okay, as long as there's a
personal connection of some kind to your mentor -- whether it's a shared
vision or a shared connection.

ETA: clarity.

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georgespencer
I didn't mean to imply that in general it's not worth seeking out a mentor: I
meant that for OP it's not worth it because he doesn't have anything he needs
mentoring on.

If he needs mentoring on founding his startup or building a working version of
his product, he's falling at the very first hurdle (beyond "having an idea"),
and also the part of the process which is incredibly well documented online
and elsewhere. It's formulaic.

We have two excellent NEDs at my company who are about as good as it gets,
mentor-wise. But I'd never have gotten anywhere with them without first
_doing_ something.

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SatvikBeri
How do you find a good spouse? By dating several people.

With mentorship-ask several people for advice. You can basically use cold
calls here, many people love advising others. I've used LinkedIn to find
experts on a problem I'm facing and ask them for advice, with great results.

Then, more importantly, apply their advice and _tell them how it helped_. This
can be as simple as sending an email afterwards saying "Hey X, your advice on
Y helped us in Z way." This is important because 90% of people don't actually
act on the advice they receive. By acting on the advice, you make it clear
that you actually value what your potential mentor has to say.

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fab1an
I wouldn't flat out ask people to mentor you, just as you wouldn't ask someone
explicitly to become 'close friends' right away - great relationships take
time to be developed.

Instead, how about simply asking a more experienced entrepreneur or investor
for their advise on your startup. Depending on where you live, you could
approach them at local startup events (where are you based?) - offer to buy
them lunch or coffee in exchange for their advise. Who knows, ideally one of
those might become your startup's first investor - as the not-too-old adage
goes, ask for advise to get funding, ask for funding to get advise.

Most people will be flattered if you just genuinely ask them for their opinion
and help - the rest has to be developed over time.

~~~
aledalgrande
Thanks for your tips fab1an. I understand it's more of a human relationship
than simply a business one. I'm based in London, by the way.

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imjared
When a friend of mine moved to New York City, he started reaching out to top-
notch designers (there are quite a few there) basically saying "Hey, I'm new
to the town, here's what I do, here's what I've done, would you be interested
in getting together to talk?" and surprisingly, a few of these people made
time in their life to meet him. He has since fostered a relationship with
industry leaders and now meets and works closely on side projects with some of
the biggest names in design. I'm not saying this will always happen but I
think you would be surprised at what people are willing to do if you show
motivation. I agree with previous comments that you should be doing
interesting things but also be prepared to just share your hopes and goals.

To answer your questions: 1) anywhere 2) yes. yes. 3) I think a good mentor
will realize the nature of the relationship. I don't think they're always
looking to gain something. 4) no idea.

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sebg
In order to find a good mentor you need to know what you need to be mentored
on - that is, what do you want to get out of the relationship? As you are
starting a startup you can possibly find a mentor in any type of startup-
related activity (startup law, accounting, programming, marketing, growth-
hacking, etc). Only by starting your startup will you figure out what
explicitly you need help with and can then figure out who is the right mentor
to approach.

So I agree with georgespencer - you don't need a mentor right now, you need to
start doing things. As you do these things it gives you something to talk
about with various people and then you can dive into a mentorship
relationship.

Regarding bidirectional exchange - perhaps you are very good at some things
others are not. You can use this to mentor your mentor.

As you grow and learn your mentoring needs may grow and change, so what you
are really should be seeking is a community not a mentor. Go to the meetups /
hackathons and make friends so you can join the community.

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iambateman
Don't forget, it is fundamentally easier to coach someone than to act on
advice. So the field for potential (good) coaches/mentors is relatively large.

The famous/successful/rich all got very lucky at some point (in addition to
hard work), so many of them might not be the most valuable mentors. Especially
if you're not already connected.

And of course, reading good authors will do a world of good. Writers like
Peter Drucker, Zig Ziglar, and Jim Collins can be fantastic teachers.

Finally, there is a cottage industry of "pay me and I will give you advice."
Which is sad faced panda to the max. Probably don't waste your time and money
there.

:)

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swiil
Check this book out - there's a whole section on mentors...

[http://www.amazon.com/The-Students-Guide-Success-
Connections...](http://www.amazon.com/The-Students-Guide-Success-
Connections/dp/1585425567)

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semicolondev
Good look on your search.

It's always nice to sit/talk with people who are more experienced than you in
a particular subject of interest. My wish.

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the1
it's near you. it's you.

