

The Death of the R.S.V.P  - samratjp
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/15/opinion/15cooper.html

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_delirium
This falls on both sides, imo. With it being so easy to send out hundreds of
"e-vites", as opposed to the effort/expense involved in sending nicely printed
or handwritten invitations by mail, I can't be sure that the invitation was
actually intended specifically for me, with any modicum of thought involved,
as opposed to just being an email blasted out to someone's entire address
book. So I tend to only respond to the ones where either I actually am going,
or I have some reason to believe the sender wanted me in particular to come or
give regrets if I can't (e.g., if it's a close friend, or I know I'm part of a
smallish group of invitees).

I do agree that not RSVPing _and still showing up_ is a breach of etiquette; a
non-response ought to be treated as an implicit no, imo. But to help that
along, it does pay to make sure to explicitly request an RSVP fairly
prominently. Among the flurry of emails I get, an invitation that requires an
RSVP, versus an open invitation that I can just show up to or not, aren't
always that easy to distinguish (for example, I don't have to RSVP to show up
to visiting speakers that my university sends me email "invites" to).

~~~
jessriedel
Would you say that the only way to be entitled to RSVPs is for the host to
mail a physical invitation? What if I want to throw a small dinner party (say,
8-12) but I don't decide until the 3 days before, so that snail mail isn't an
option but RSVPing by email is easy.

~~~
simonsquiff
In that situation with only 8-12 people you just need to pick up the phone and
personally invite them. Will take all of an hour and you'll know the picture
instantly, as well as make people feel wanted.

When I'm having a dinner party, or even a small party, I still call everyone
personally. The difference it makes to getting people to come is enormous, it
makes people feel wanted. Failing that, a personal email (rather than a batch
send) also makes a big difference.

I agree that this works both ways - people are getting lazier at inviting
people in the same way people are getting lazier at responding.

~~~
jessriedel
Huh. See, I don't like it when other people invite me by calling because it
puts me on the spot (and no, it's not because I'm deluded with so very many
invitations...). I hate trying to remember if I have any conflicts and I hate
trying to come up with a polite excuse if I don't feel like going.

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krainboltgreene
I'd love to see a simple RSVP web app done.

1\. Needs universal login features that are amazingly simple.

2\. Needs a Google Mapping system with automatic directions from your Geo or
IP address general location.

3\. Needs to exist on a single page in a very simple non-tabbed view.

4\. Needs to be extremely sharable.

 _EDIT_

5\. Use Disqus for commenting.

6\. Take a leaf from Vark and make it integrate with Instant Messenger, SMS,
and E-Mail.

 _EDIT_

Revenue? Perhaps charge for repeating events or more events than 4 per month.
Something like $1.00 per repeating event, or 3 events.

~~~
Retric
This should be completely automated so advertizing should work. IMO, the best
way to monetize should it take of is selling your own advertisements for stuff
people want when going to or hosting a party. AKA, Sara's 7th birthday bash
invite linking to popular toys for that age range. Inviting 50 people how
about local catering companies, or perhaps a local cleaning service.

Edit: Also, there are plenty of sites that do this, I would suggest starting
with a facebook app and keeping some sort of score, aka number of events
hosted, average gathering size etc. You could even add some sort of avatar
based on unlocked achievements.

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dustingetz
"We prefer to remain flexy, solidifying our plans incrementally as the date
approaches."

As a young person, I read this as: I'll come to your party if nothing better
comes up.

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dugmartin
Maybe a little education is in order - meet everyone at the door and tell the
people that didn't RSVP to leave as you don't have enough food. I'm sure they
will RSVP to the next party.

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loup-vaillant
Too bad it ended up with a grammar error. :-) It should have said "Répondez
Vite — ou Mourrez!" (instead of "mourir").

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techdmn
Had similar problems when I got married a few years ago, as did a friend. No
tech issues - these were physical invites, with an RSVP card and stamped and
addressed return envelope included. IIRC response rate was about 60% of
attendance. The only thing I think I could have done to improve that rate was
to ask guests for a meal choice - no response implies you won't eat. :)

~~~
allenp
A tip for anyone else with an upcoming wedding to avoid this situation: Keep
track of all your RSVP's in a document (excel, google docs, etc), assign one
"bully" on each side of the family (mothers, aunts, etc), when the "RSVP due
by" date hits give the bullies the green light to get those answers.

~~~
dgabriel
I agree, the "assigned bully" method works marvelously.

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vl
I thinks it's combination of technological and social aspects.

Some non-tech people said to me that they couldn't figure out how to RSVP to
Google Calendar invitation (link is provided in email).

Social aspect plays when other people see who and how many people have
responded. Some people don't want to RSVP first because they don't what to
seem like desperate people sitting at computer all the time. Some people don't
want to RSVP because everybody else includes some witty comment and they can't
invent anything witty enough. Some people don't want to RSVP 'No' and think
that no answering at all is less antagonistic.

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eplanit
For me, I never respond to e-vites. Instead, I RSVP via an email to the actual
person.

The Automated Invitation sites are very unattractive to me not for ease-of-
use, reasons. I don't use those channels because to do so is not only sending
an RSVP to the host, it's also telling the website that you'll be attending,
as well as their advertisers, their business partners, and other downstream
marketers, etc.

Let's not confuse social conventions and etiquette with usage of the Ad
Revenue oriented vehicles through which were asked to attend.

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jamesbressi
I would be curious if the author would have followed the frequently cited
studies in business and self-help books about increasing urgency by
significantly reducing the amount of time allotted to perform a task--in this
case to respond--would have helped.

