
SingleSpot: meet singles in bars and cafés around you - vega_empire
https://singlespotapp.com/
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el_cujo
I think part of the appeal of Tindr/Plenty of Fish/etc. for a lot of people is
how you can do the initial interacting online. I'm not saying that it isn't
better for the actual people/relationship to have the first encounter be in
person, I just feel like a lot of people like online dating for that exact
purpose, whether its simply due to convenience (can talk to/filter through
matches from home) or being too socially awkward to be comfortable with
meeting someone in person that you haven't gotten to know a little bit ahead
of time. Moreover, the people who are most at ease with asserting themselves
with strangers probably don't need the app, as the only utility it really
provides is targets.

However, if like another poster said, only women can see the "targets" and the
onus is on them to make the first move, then I can see this app having utility
as it can be a way for men to make themselves available to an in person
interaction without feeling like they'll come off as predatory by making the
first move (and likewise allowing women to encounter men in person without
having to worry that every man in the room will think she's inviting
interaction). But it isn't readily apparent that the app works that way.

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overcast
People interact on Tinder? News to me! I thought everyone just went on there
to collect matches.

~~~
CapricornNoble
Collect matches? More like connect bedpost notches. If your (and I'm speaking
generally to HN, not you directly) Tinder matches have a low conversion rate
to hook-ups, you:

-need more attractive/higher-quality photos

-need to revise your seduction-by-text techniques (get their phone#/WhatsApp#/whatever, build a little rapport, move the conversation OFF of Tinder ASAP, arrange a face-to-face low-pressure coffee "date", etc...)

-need to try a different geographic area (some areas just have a terrible dating market, even on Tinder)

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phil248
Peddle your overthought pick-up artist techniques elsewhere.

~~~
drngdds
That seems like pretty straightforward (though presumptuous) advice to me

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turc1656
Given that the concept for this app is to "bring human interactions back to
the dating scene", I'm not sure it serves any purpose. The idea is to see who
around your physically location is single and strike up a conversation. And
the example(s) given are bars and things like that. Hasn't that been going on
forever without this app? Everyone knows where to find single people in large
quantities.

What value does it provide? The fact that you know with certainty that someone
is single (or at least claims to be)? You still know nothing about them and
cannot converse with them on your phone. You must initiate face to face
contact, which is all fine and great. But all of this would theoretically
happen anyway without the app.

Also, there at least two issues I see with the concept that make dating worse.

First, the example on the site of the guy who "doesn't want to be actively
looking for singles tonight, he wants to let people know that he's single".
That's called laziness. This fictitious guy is going to basically just put out
the digital equivalent of "hey ladies I'm single" and wait for the women to
swarm? Yeah, ok. Only in rare instances will that happen because socially we
still function in mostly the same way (men are still expected to pursue). And
in the reverse scenario where a woman does that...well, that's basically
exactly how society functions right now. Women know how to project that they
are single in a setting like a bar. Men observe, figure out who they might
have a chance with, and then attempt to strike up a conversation and pursue.
So the app literally offers nothing in that regard.

Second, people will probably be more prone to only risk talking to someone
they see on the app as a confirmed single because it's less risky. This would
make their choices smaller because they are probably unconsciously eliminating
everyone else on the basis of risk. This makes the dating scene worse, not
better. Unless damn near everyone was on the app and used it all the time.
Which I'm sure the app developer would love. But realistically almost surely
won't happen.

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zazen
>What value does it provide? The fact that you know with certainty that
someone is single (or at least claims to be)?

You'd also know that they're advertising that they're open to being approached
- it might relieve some anxiety knowing that you're going to be rejected
simply for approaching someone that isn't interested in being approached at
all.

>just put the digital equivalent of "hey ladies I'm single" and wait for the
women to swarm? Yeah, ok.

Yes, they've gender-inverted their example in order to be politically correct.
You're right that men will still pursue, but I think the app might offer
something to men who are less than perfect at detecting which women are
signalling they want to be approached. A lot of men would like some de-risking
on that front, even at the expense of reducing the total size of the pool.

EDIT: wait, unless it's a thing like bumble where only the woman can make the
first move? In that case yeah, I don't see it taking off

~~~
turc1656
Your comment got me thinking about another issue. The "sorry, I have a
boyfriend" excuse would no longer be valid as an easy way to let someone down.
With that gone, all that's left is the truth.

Also, I had always viewed the ability to deal with sub-optimal outcomes well
as a form of character-building. For example, would you rather be the person
who has never encountered/taken the risk of approaching someone who is taken,
says no to you, or is just not in the mood to be approached that specific
night? I'd much rather be able to deal with those situations gracefully.
Similarly, I'd much rather learn to observe body language and everything else
to determine which women are indicating certain things non-verbally. The
general case of that is reading people and it's a critical life skill.

I think a lot of technology, particularly the stuff surrounding dating, does a
lot of harm to society, human interaction, and people's character overall.
This is just another one to add to the list for me. I can't tell you how many
people who are roughly 10-15 years younger than me have zero skills in talking
to the opposite sex. And many have, shockingly, never really been in a
scenario where they've had to actually turn on the charm, make an effort, and
hold a conversation. This manifests itself in the workplace when we have
events, meet clients, go out for drinks, etc. They are duds and have zero
personality. It's utterly depressing.

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izzydata
I wish there were more public spaces for interacting with people that weren't
bars. I'm not a fan of meeting new people being associated with drinking
alcohol.

~~~
ardit33
Try a coffee place. If you do work/read in a coffee place, it is easy to
interact with other folks that are doing the same.

Basically: Say, hi... what are your reading, working on...etc...

99% of my interactions this way have been positive

~~~
celim307
Coffee shops are indeed perfect. Low commitment, public, not weird to meet
during the day, usually fun relaxed vibe. I do all my first meets there and
its always well received.

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40acres
I have no idea what things were like "back in the day" but as a 20-something
it's really interesting how there aren't many places (excluding 'nightlife'
venues) were strangers can mingle and micro-conversations are frequent. The
best place I can think off currently is the gym.

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fhbdukfrh
Really? Cause I'm a forty something and i still see all the same places as
when i was in your situation: School, work, coffee shops, sports, social
clubs, activities, pretty much every place i go has opportunity to casually
talk to someone. Funny enough night life locations are probably the worst:
Loud, dark, competitive and everyone has their guard up.

My suggestion: Seek out interesting conversation with people, don't target a
potential mate. You'll greatly increase your potential pool of both friends
and romantics, plus improve your standing within it

~~~
giggles_giggles
It's not socially acceptable to chat up women at work or in a public place
like a coffee shop or grocery store. It was acceptable 10 years ago, but it is
not anymore. If you don't want to be chased or told off as a creep, you should
stick to people you are introduced to through a friend, online dating, and
clubs/bars. Definitely not work. Definitely, definitely, definitely not work.

~~~
newnewpdro
Where do you live?

I've spent a lot of time in coastal California cafes near population centers
like SF and Santa Cruz over the past 5 years, and it's perfectly normal for
strangers to start conversations.

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sooham
I think the meetup protocol with this app is getting it wrong by asking women
to initiate. Men tend to initiate despite the rejection of interest; most
women are not as forward and find it attractive that the man approach them.
Why would the app depend on women to initiate?

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soylentgraham
Think about if it was reversed. You're somewhere and there's a list of single
women... Every woman there would be swarmed upon, which is a situation they
already have. (Open an account on any dating app as a woman with no image, or
bio, you'll still get plenty of messages/matches) The example is a good case,
they might not even initiate, just stand in viewing distance of a single guy
they like.

Women filter their choices more than men. Bumble works for a good chunk of
women who will initiate once filtered to something they're vaguely interested
in. The number of conversations initiated by women on tinder must be close to
1%, if that.

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Invictus0
I can't imagine how this would work in the real world. Suppose this gained
widespread adoption like Tinder; you're at the bar with friends and see a cute
girl. Are we going to be expected to first check SingleSpot to see if it's
okay to introduce ourselves? Not only would I never do that, but the only
purpose of doing that is just to avoid rejection and really just provides a
crutch for people with self esteem issues.

Ok so maybe that's not it. Maybe the first step is to find women that are
single in the first place! So now I find out that there are a few girls on
SingleSpot at the bar. I go to the bar and now we're back to the first
situation.

Ok so maybe it's for places other than the bar. SingleSpot says there's a cute
girl... at Starbucks. Am I supposed to go into Starbucks, hope that she's
still there 10 minutes from now, and then invite myself for coffee at that
moment? Am I supposed to walk around with my phone at the library, the grocery
store, the gas station looking for Cute Singles Near Me? And why do I need an
app to do that anyway? I can just, you know, see girls and say hi if I want
to.

I'll even add a personal experience. In college, I caught up with a girl after
a class we shared that I had matched with the previous night. I had sent her a
message but just assumed she didn't see it. I introduced myself and said that
we had matched on Tinder, and got back a (hilariously) blank and bewildered
stare. We exchanged numbers and never spoke again. I can't imagine it would
have gone better if I said I saw her on Facebook and thought she was cute.
People get freaked out when you to pull their online personas into the real
world.

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droithomme
This is a neat idea. The fundamental premise of the software is that you can't
contact other users digitally. You can only contact them face to face. That
cuts through a huge amount of BS such as catfishing. Also should increase
profits of local bars and hang outs if this concept catches on. The app hopes
to eliminate the risk of approaching people who are not in the market. Though
it also eliminates the tactful decline of "Thank you, but I'm seeing someone".

On the other hand, and as people have mentioned, there's definitely already
countless venues that cater to the single scene where it's fair to presume
it's ok to approach anyone you like. But this might entice people who don't
know where those hangouts are to find them.

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solarkraft
Certainly a nice idea. Since dating falls under (albeit a light version of)
the network effect, getting started seems to be rather difficult. I'll also
have to give up all of my location data? Eh ... probably not a concern for
most users.

I think some useful things might be marking spots most frequented by singles
and somehow incentivizing location owners to get people to sign up. A great
advantage would be that the friction for signing up is very low.

I'll check it out when I have an Android phone again, but honestly don't
expect more than 10 people in my area to have even heard of it.

~~~
cr0sh
> incentivizing location owners to get people to sign up

One way to do this is for the bars to somehow indicate they are on the network
(a sign in the window kinda like grubhub, yelp, and others use today), and
then allow them to put in coupons or something similar (points?) to attract
users to the app (and their spot).

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cr0sh
This looks real similar (in the idea) to an app I developed for the client of
an old employer I worked for. Unfortunately, my employer went belly-up before
it was completed. We were in the early testing stages, trying to work out a
few bugs.

The back end was based on PHP and something called "Whitebox CSS Admin"
template, and the app was developed using PhoneGap and JQuery Mobile (this was
sometime around 2012).

It was very interesting to develop, and the first JS SPA I ever did (before I
knew the term). I'm glad to see that someone has done something similar.

Good luck with it!

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vemv
Can only women locate men (resembling Bumble)?

Either way, couldn't this app be a handy tool for antisocial behavior?
(anything from laughing at randomers to finding a victim of some sort of
crime)

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GhostVII
Couldn't you use Tinder for those same antisocial behavior? How is this any
different?

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vemv
I cannot walk around the city and determine who is using Tinder.

But with this app I can purposefully visit a place known to have a user.

i.e. real-world interactions have a lot more repercussions than cyber-
bullying.

~~~
JeremyBanks
relevant: [https://www.engadget.com/2018/09/15/grindr-location-
info/](https://www.engadget.com/2018/09/15/grindr-location-info/)

~~~
joaomacp
Since you mention Grindr, I remember in my company there were guys who would
sign up as gay, just to see who in the company (and I guess in their social
circle) was secretly gay, and tell it to other people. The irony is that they
would find other guys doing the same.

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mzs
"…gone are the days, when you didn't need wifi to help you find someone to
kiss…"

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks8nkoC5og8&feature=youtu.be...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks8nkoC5og8&feature=youtu.be&list=PLzM_6mmjF1FNCbPHw7L6yVZYa__mnKQi9)

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benguild
I think this is a common app idea amongst guys in the SF Bay Area, haha. I’ve
actually discussed it with friends before.

The idea is use an app to overcome “approach anxiety” by initiating in a
neutral, digital environment.

With any app like this, it’s tough to launch and overcome the challenge of
getting the initial user base for it to be useful, though.

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newnewpdro
An app bridging the isolation caused by people occupying these spaces while
immersing themselves in their devices could prove super useful. I'm sure a
bunch of the folks I see working remotely from cafes are technically on the
market but aren't talking to eachother.

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maehwasu
This would be a lot more interesting if the user data were verified in some
way, such that you could filter for X universities, or income level, or even
SAT score type stuff. People are a lot more open to random encounters when the
pool is prefiltered in some way, imo.

~~~
btilly
I find the responses to this suggestion very amusing.

General rule. Women like being able to preemptively filter men out of their
dating pool based on a variety of fairly arbitrary criteria. Men who fear
being so eliminated want to not be filtered out by those criteria.

Given that this site has mostly men, most of the opinions expressed will be
against any such filtering.

Put another way, suppose that a woman wants to find single men, over 6' tall,
under 35, with a university degree, and a job making more than 100k. Men who
fail to meet any of those criteria do not wish to be filtered out.

~~~
Judgmentality
I'm male, over 6' tall, under 35, with a university degree, and make over
$100k. I still think filtering on these criteria is a bad idea if you want to
find someone that makes you happy. Obviously people have their preferences and
can filter as they please, but I don't think it's objectionable to call people
out for being shallow and myopic.

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crushcrashcrush
This is a great idea, but I fear it could be easily knocked-off as a feature
for Tinder. Love the concept though!

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masonic
Be sure to look at all the privileges it requires, especially Contacts.

