
Lies Entrepreneurs Tell Themselves - terpua
http://steveblank.com/2009/06/15/lies-entrepreneurs-tell-themselves/
======
tptacek
My career has taken place entirely in startups, some of which I started, all
of which were extremely demanding. I'm married and we have two kids.

I'm somewhere between this guy and 37signals on this issue. You can work 100
hour weeks. You can work 4-day weeks. You can travel all the time. You can not
travel at all. I know people who've been successful on both paths.

I look back at what I've done so far, and the biggest success I was involved
with (Secure Networks, probably) wasn't amazing because everyone killed
themselves working for it. It was amazing because (1) everyone loved what they
were working on, (2) there was an esprit de corps and extremely talented
leadership, and (3) we managed to be aimed at the right market. I worked late
nights --- but from home, and not all the time. 100 hour work weeks wouldn't
have improved our outcome.

Another success I was involved with was an ISP (EnterAct) in Chicago (I was
the first technical employee). Again, we worked hard, there were long nights,
but it wasn't a 100-hour commitment. The big thing I remember about EnterAct
was that the founders had families, and the families were regulars in the
office. I knew their names. They had dinners and parties. You can address the
absentee spouse problem by creating a culture that is inclusive of families.
That's something we've lost in our transactional build-to-flip company
culture, but it's not hard to recover.

Finally, in my current company, I've hit on my favorite answer to this
question yet. Erin is a full-time employee of the company. We took the time to
bring her up to speed with the actual hardcore technical work that we do.
We've done billable projects together, she's worked on product dev, and she
can switch hit for a lot of the work I'd do. Meanwhile, we share (mostly) the
child care and household stuff. It's been a huge win for the company as well,
for obvious reasons; it's like having another person who's as committed as a
founder.

I think when you're 22, you can tell yourself a lot of horseshit about whether
work or life is more important to you. I know I did. Thankfully, my wife
forgave me (hey, I was young(er) and stupid(er)) and I came to my senses. I
think this article's author thinks the same thing, and I'm betting he'll say
something similar in his next argument.

Just some random thoughts.

~~~
mrbgty
"100 hour work weeks wouldn't have improved our outcome."

Thanks for pointing this out. I don't see any problem with those who want to
work 100 hour weeks but do get tired of the false reasons people have for
doing it. It isn't because you HAVE to, it's because you WANT to.

------
menloparkbum
More than 50% of marriages end in divorce. Back in the day my grandparents
stayed married even though my grandpa was at sea for 3 years. It seems like
you're likely to get divorced even if you don't work that hard. Or stay
together in even less ideal circumstances.

The other thing is that this guy talks about his startups, but they weren't
his startups. They were someone else's startups. He only founded the last one.
If you work 100 hours a week for someone else and are not bringing in a
million plus per year, your wife is going to think you are a chump, because
you are.

~~~
metaguri
_If you work 100 hours a week for someone else and are not bringing in a
million plus per year, your wife is going to think you are a chump, because
you are._

How many people like this exist in silicon valley? a lot. wall street as well.
and more and more, "traditional" corporate america as well.

edit: i meant to add that i think it's a poignant, alarming, and relevant
statement.

~~~
cameldrv
Alarming? If you're working 100 hours a week, you can't do anything else, and
need someone else to take care of everything around the house for you, because
you are spending all of your waking hours at work. This will destroy your
relationships in a short period of time. Furthermore, this will unquestionably
reduce your life expectancy. It takes a hell of a lot of money to compensate
for even a few years in that situation.

Note: I'm not talking about working 60 hour weeks, which is very taxing, but
nothing like this. 100 Hour weeks mean that there are no weekends, ever.
You're working 14.25 hours per day, which is just enough to wake up, drive to
work, eat your meals, come home, and sleep, day after day, with no respite.

------
akamaka
Thanks for posting. There's a lot of advice from experienced entrepreneurs
that makes it onto this site, but I don't enjoy reading any of it as much as I
enjoy Steve's stories.

There's so many bloggers out there who just seem to want to lecture you on the
right way to run a business, and it gets really tiresome.

But when I read this guy's writing, it reminds of me why I wanted to work in
this area in the first place: cause it's fun!

------
run4yourlives
I've always thought of it this way:

When I'm on my deathbed, what will I regret? Will I regret not working that
weekend? Will I regret being moderately, instead of ridiculously successful?
Will I regret a piece of software being "good enough"?

Or will I regret missing my kid's birthday? Will I regret not spending that
weekend at the park watching the smiles on my family's faces? Will I regret
not spending some quiet time with my wife?

The answers to me are simple and the comparison is easy.

~~~
c3o
But why design your life based on how happy you estimate you'll be on your
very last day(s) alive? Isn't it more effective to maximize current happiness?

~~~
run4yourlives
Because often, being in the now clouds your reasoning. It's the same reason
you set goals and make investments; deferring instant pleasure will result in
greater payment later, but you only understand this by looking at the sum of
all parts.

By introducing the "deathbed" one assumes that the most important things to
that individual come into focus. If I didn't have a family, I'd have different
deathbed priorities, but that is not the case. If my greatest desire in life
was to win a Nobel prize, I would probably make choices favouring that
outcome.

I'm not saying one is better than the other, just that for most people, their
families (especially kids) will be more important to them than any
professional or individual achievement. In the daily grind that is life, we
have a tenancy to forget this. Focusing on the sum of a life brings things
back into perspective.

~~~
pstuart
My father-in-law who toiled in the valley for many a year told me: "all those
projects I worked late nights and weekends on -- they're all in landfills
now".

That said, he was able to cash out ok....

------
Skeletor
Great article, I just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years last week and me
being ultra-focused on my start-up was a big cause. I'm pretty sure
relationships and start-ups don't mix even if you are older and wiser.

~~~
axod
It's all about communication, expectations, priorities etc. Usual relationship
stuff.

As long as you're on the same page, everything mixes fine.

There's nothing particularly unique about startups either. Lots of professions
call for enormous dedication and periods of complete emersion in a project for
some time.

~~~
tptacek
What's different about startups is that the demands are unpredictable. A
couple can steel itself for law school. And lots of marriages do break up over
medical careers.

~~~
axod
What about sports though? For example football players transferring teams,
suddenly being apart from their families, having to train in quick bursts,
suddenly being in the playoffs/world cup/etc.

Seems very unpredictable to me. Plenty of other professions that are like
that, I'd expect Musician, Actor, Artist to be pretty unpredictable/high
stress.

~~~
menloparkbum
Pro athletes make enough money to alleviate most of the issues that their
lifestyle brings about. Plus, they are _pro athletes_. Yet they still get
divorced. And sometimes they don't. Musicians, actors and artists get divorced
all the time. Or not.

Artists on the other hand never make any money, they are busy all the time,
and have a very predictable lifestyle (always broke, always working). They
usually get dumped because their SO wants to live in an apartment that has its
own bathroom and shower.

------
jaxn
I am currently going through a divorce. But my work is only peripherally
involved (I am the one asking for the divorce).

I am not going to claim to know the balance. Sometimes I think it is
impossible. As the father of 4 kids I constantly struggle to become both a
better entrepreneur and a better father. The problem is effectiveness, not
time.

I am constantly struggling to make my time more effective, which may just be a
side effect of multi-tasking.

------
jkuria
Great article and interesting perspective. I think the best counter to Steve's
opinions can be found in the book The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.
It is just a truism of life that if you are a man, your work must be the most
important thing in your life and to be truly fulfilled you "must pursue your
truth and give your gift to the world". Steve Pavlina has also stated this
here: <http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/05/how-to-be-a-man/> If your wife
or gf is the most important thing in your life, you are weak willed and are
deceiving yourself. Believe it or not, your wife or gf doesn't want to be the
most important thing your life!

------
gscott
Honestly, if you are married for 7 years and have no kids yet there is
something wrong with the relationship. Money, time, and other things are just
excuses the real reason is something missing in the relationship.

~~~
wjy
You're presuming that all couples want to have children. There is not
"something wrong" with those folks' relationships.

~~~
gscott
He mentions children in his article so it is my assumption that if children
are a maybe, but have not been 'created' after 7 years it feels a little off
to me.

Very true some couples do not want to have children and I wouldn't suggest
forcing children onto a person who thinks that would be the worst thing in the
world.

------
kunqiana
it's all about making sacrifices

