
How to avoid sleeping with your cofounder - anon1302790
When I was struggling with this situation (becoming attracted to my f&#x2F;cofounder), there weren&#x27;t many resources available. Younger founders with relatively close ages and opposite sexes are especially at risk.<p>Problem: You are spending more time than you&#x27;ve ever spent with someone, and going through many difficult challenges with incredible highs and lows. You might be doing as many m-m startups do and sharing an apartment-office, food, gyming, etc. A bond forms. In certain moments you (and maybe your cof) may feel that it would be relieving for both parties to have the security and pleasant sensations of a relationship.<p>1. Accept, deeply, that it is a very bad idea. You are multiplying the probability of a startup succeeding (low) with the probability of a relationship succeeding (low). You are just in close proximity to a person and are basically seeking a relationship of convenience or ignorance.<p>2. Do not do anything that corporate HR would not approve of. Don&#x27;t touch. Don&#x27;t comment on bodies (many cofs have an active lifestyle and like to talk about their body). Don&#x27;t tease&#x2F;flirt. You can&#x27;t have a relationship where you can joke about sexuality because the risk of escalation is too high.<p>3. Expose yourself to other people e.g. get on a dating app etc. If you trap a s&#x2F;man and a s&#x2F;woman together in a tiny bubble things will eventually happen. Pop the bubble, meet some other people.<p>4. Politely and appropriately reject advances with no uncertainty. This can create a lot of temporary resentment. Just push through it.<p>5. It will probably be harder to fundraise if you are dating. VCs recognize the danger, even with married couples.<p>6. Seriously just don&#x27;t do it. You are doing something important for the world and incredibly difficult, don&#x27;t let a faulty and (I can assure you) temporary feeling of love get in the way.<p>Some things I wish someone told me.
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muzani
This sounds like a meme, but the danger is there, even if you think you have
self-control and gave no issues with co-workers.

I remember flying around different states and countries with my cofounder.
Budget can be tight and you end up sharing hotel rooms. One of the rooms we
were in even had semi-transparent bathroom doors, with a completely
transparent shower door, and those sexy soaps and showel gel. This was a
business hotel, with two single beds. Honeymoon hotels sometimes even have a
window or peepholes into the bathroom. We've probably slept in the same
cramped rooms about a hundred days in total. It's pretty common for startups
to also rent offices that double up as homes, with a shower, an air fryer and
probably a mattress behind the CEO's desk.

2nd, there's a _lot_ of close proximity. You'll be talking to each other all
the time, sitting/standing in a small car or crowded train all the time. There
will be lots of late evenings and early mornings. At times, they're the first
and last person you talk to for the day.

3\. You'll be stressed out often. The highs are high and the lows are low.
You're going to cry over each other's shoulders no matter how tough you are.
There will be situations where you have to fire someone, yell at investors,
beg clients, and figure out how to pay salary next week. Oxytocin is a stress
hormone.

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simonblack
Otherwise known as a subsection of the general rule "Never fuck a workmate",
especially if one or both of you are married.

If you do, sooner or later, one of you is going to have to leave that
business.

Been there, done that. It's never worth it. It's like having to stay married
when you should be divorcing.

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d33lio
I feel like most founders / engineers likely don't have this problem.

