

How I Fired myself: about loss, mistakes and getting your shit together - mijndert
http://mijndertstuij.nl/2013/03/how-i-fired-myself/

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cinbun8
I'm happy for you. When you take something on like this it is a great asset to
have someone for emotional support. After your girlfriend dropped the bomb
this must have been harder to come by, which could explain why you were
fooling around trying to fill a void.

You can still surround yourself with smart people while freelancing. It is
just a little harder to do. You also appear to be scarred by the experience
which is why you never want to do it again. Good luck with the new job.

~~~
mijndert
It's not that I'm scarred, it's just that I don't want to take on the burden
of going freelance again. There's more important things to do right now, like
hanging out with friends, connecting with new friends, taking on hobbies and
travelling the world.

Thanks for the kind words. :-)

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mkrecny
I wrote a post titled "How I Fired Myself" a month ago. It really resonated
with the community, and I'm glad to see someone else take up the mantle. I
think it's healthy to air-out these kind of dark moments. You have my
sympathies for what happened, and I'm excited that things are looking up.

Original post: <https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5292591>

~~~
mijndert
I remember that post, it's what inspired me to write one of my own. It just
took some time to 'get my shit together' as they say. Thanks for the kind
words. :-)

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maeon3
For me the reverse happened, back in 2009ish, lose the job then lose the
girlfriend because you're not as spendy as before. I dodged a bullet on that
one. In hindsight it was the best thing to happen to me. But while I was going
through it, it was like the world was ending.

Now that I'm older and wiser, I've got my shit together, I don't see
employment or love/girlfriends as a source of validation that you belong here
and are appreciated.

When things get rough, I envision myself as a tiny bud on the tip of a branch
on a tree. When life is created, it's not new, it's just a new branch and a
new sprout, and when life ends, it's just the older buds making way for the
new ones.

So love, and employment is a process by which the tree sustains itself. But
the tree represents the entire DNA meta organism found on earth, from the
bacteria, through the beetles, on up to us. Death and life are illusions,
employment is simply a process, like photosynthesis, to expand the size of the
tree. The reason I think this way:

1\. Reproduction, having love, girlfriends, wives and kids is not necessary.
The other branches of "you" will create plenty.

2\. Having a good job, vs a sucky one, is in the grand scheme of things not
all that important. You are one bud on a gigantic tree. You think if you can
make the next huge thing, then you'll be more important. Not really, it's the
cooperation between all the units that cause increases in the sentience of the
whole.

The meaning of life is to expand the growth and prosperity of the tree (all
dna based life), and eventually transcend biology and get off this rock so we
can fill the universe with our proud waves. You either contribute a
macroscopic amount to that goal, or take away from it. Look at yourself from
the edge of our galaxy and tell me again how your situation warrants an
emotional blog post.

