
Ask HN: How can I get better at networking as an introvert technical founder? - scientits
Any tip would be greatly appreciated.
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hluska
My favourite networking hack sounds insane, but it works. When you're at an
event, approach groups of two people. Whenever you see two people talking,
there is a very good probability that at least one wants an excuse to end the
conversation.

~~~
matt_the_bass
Ha! That is a great idea. I’m going to try it.

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partisan
Throw yourself in the deep end of the pool. As a technical co-founder, I had
to attend an industry conference and man a booth. All fear evaporated by the
end of it. You'll find that people are often looking to talk about their
issues and their lives. Even better, most people will be sympathetic to your
dilemma and will appreciate that you aren't coming at them from the slimy
sales perspective. At least, that was my experience over the course of several
days of the conference.

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remyp
Learn by doing. Just like dating, it’ll be awkward at first, but you’ll get
better.

I built a low effort tool to help HNers network with each other, it’s a good
way to start practicing: [https://findkismet.com](https://findkismet.com)

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wallflower
Stop asking questions. Make statements instead.

Not "Do you like Node.js?"

But "I like how Node.js has evolved in the last 3 years. I don't care much for
React though. I'd rather take on more Functional Programming gigs."

Questions, even the best open ended ones may put the answerer on the spot.
Better to model your expected response by _answering_ the question first
yourself.

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matt_the_bass
I hear what you’re saying. However my experience (and suggestion) is the
opposite. If one has trouble making small talk and networking a good trick is
to get other people talking about themselves, their projects, their work. The
best way to do that is to ask them questions. People in general like to talk
about themselves.

~~~
wallflower
I am not disagreeing with you. You are still asking questions here but
initially putting out more into the interaction to try to tip it to an actual
conversation. Let me give an example. Sometimes you have to jumpstart a
conversation like you have to prime the pump.

Person 1: "What did you think of the talk?"

Person 2: "It was ok." (Kind of a knee-jerk almost blow off response)

Person 1: "The talk was better than the morning keynote. I liked how she
talked about how the technical debt at her company was so large they had to
declare Chapter 11 Technical bankruptcy. I worked at a place that had a
similar situation. I felt chills." (pause)

Person 1: "I didn't get why she could not get approval for.."

~~~
matt_the_bass
Got it! Thanks for clarifying.

~~~
wallflower
You're welcome. Eventually, it gets to the point where the other person feels
the need to fill the pause. And then you have a conversation. The pause,
though, can seem to be interminably long even if it is just like 5 seconds.

If you don't pause, you won't give them an entry into the conversation. Some
people won't interject or interrupt.

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signoftimes
__How to Win Friends & Influence People __is a good book with practical
advice. The title is a bit cheesy but a well-written book nevertheless.

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amorphous
Start with events that are not business related but about something fun.
You'll feel less pressure and get used to meeting strangers. Language learning
events are great. I'm a foreigner in the country I live so I go to events
where people want to practise my native language. That's perfect because I'm
the expert :-)

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ecesena
Check out this episode from the Kevin Rose's podcast:
[https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kevin-rose-
show/id10...](https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kevin-rose-
show/id1088864895?mt=2&i=1000400007112)

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mean_joe
I've been in your shoes (still am). I've found it to be much easier to start
with people that are similar in personality and interests. With people similar
to yourself, you'd have more topics to talk about and eventually you can
expand into people with different personalities and interests.

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cvaidya1986
Be genuinely interested in what people have to say and listen intently most of
the conversation.

