Ask HN: Your subjective takes on living a non-boring and pleasant life? - turingspiritfly
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agentultra
Read. Read ferociously. Devour everything. Read aloud. Read with friends. Read
outside your comfort zone. Always be reading.

Take a break to write. Write about what you read. Writing is thinking and
thinking is hard. You won't want to do this too much. But you should try it to
anyway to stay sharp.

Talk to your neighbors. Get to know them. Lend them your books. Invite them
over for tea. Play games. Share stories. Help them with chores. Get involved
in their lives.

Put down your phone. Use the Internet deliberately and in small doses.

Keep a garden. And read in it.

~~~
justaguyhere
_Write about what you read_

I'd add this - write on paper if/whenever possible, instead of computer.

~~~
agentultra
I agree! The only thing more intuitive than a pen is perhaps a blade. Writing
on a computer is messy and full of temptations to resist. When it's just paper
there's nothing and that is important: you need space and time for your own
thoughts!

------
djrogers
Get married, have kids, dedicate your life to making theirs better. There’s a
reason the vast majority of people in history have gone this route - it’s very
fulfilling.

~~~
scarface74
Marriage has been shown to increase happiness. Having kids decreases
happiness....

[http://fortune.com/2016/05/09/mothers-marriage-
parenthood/](http://fortune.com/2016/05/09/mothers-marriage-parenthood/)

 _Comparing couples with and without children, researchers found that the rate
of the decline in relationship satisfaction is nearly twice as steep for
couples who have children than for childless couples. In the event that a
pregnancy is unplanned, the parents experience even greater negative impacts
on their relationship._

It’s even worse for women than for men.

I for one do not like small children. Everything about small children and
babies irritate me and I never wanted to be a father for that reason.

On the other hand, I became attached to my now step children from the first
day I met them and I would move heaven and earth for them. But, they were
already 9 and 14. Luckily, my wife also didn’t want more kids when we met.
I’ll freely admit that it’s mostly caused by selfishness. Not financial
selfishness, but with a teenager and a preteen, we never had to find
babysitters when we wanted to go out and my wife and I could have plenty of
alone time.

When I hung out with just my (step) children we could actually relate. In a
lot of ways, I’m a big kid and they always joke when I say something that
“this is reason number X that I will never make father of the year”.

~~~
justaguyhere
_Having kids decreases happiness_

This is one of those things that can't be "tested", so it is better to be sure
before having kids. Personally I've decided against having kids, maybe I'll
regret when I am 50, but for now I don't. Fortunately for me, there are enough
humans in the planet already, so a few of us not having kids should only have
positive impact, at least in the short term.

~~~
scarface74
Occasionally when I see other parents with babies, I imagine a life with my
wife and I raising a baby and thinking I missed something. Then they start
crying and just being kids and I quickly get over it.

------
dev_throw
Always try new activities. Be on the constant lookout for activities/skills
that can open your mind to new paradigms. Learning
languages/instruments/martial arts comes to mind.

Build relationships with people around you that might not be in your socio
economic circle. Having a wide variety of friends definitely keeps life
interesting.

If all else fails, move. Sometimes, just getting up and moving to a new
city/country can enervate your life by exposing you to different patterns that
your subconscious can explore.

------
ilaksh
Rather than trying to avoid being bored and just having a pleasant life, aim
for a meaningful and useful life. This will lead to more fullfillment for you
and hopefully a better world.

It is strange to me that so often questions along these lines are framed in
selfish or hedonistic ways, as if all that mattered in life was one's own
transient happiness.

The best way to have a meaningful and useful life is to create real structural
improvements to the world. So for example working to reduce structural
inequality is more useful than ordinary charity. Or creating useful services
or products that improve people's lives.

------
exabrial
I keep busy volunteering. I play music for a number of churches in my area and
also chip in to help the IT staff at a couple of local charities. They're both
really gratifying. I also made it a goal to donate 12% of my salary this year
to causes that have a direct effect on people's lives.

------
anoncoward111
Do more of what makes you happy, right now, despite whatever "society" says
you should do instead.

~~~
anonnyj
Happiness is a fleeting feeling that's frustrating to hunt down. Too many
happiness highs can leave you feeling disgusting. Better to aim for
"contentedness".

Candy TV/popular advice always tells you to try to be happy, happy, happy,
which seems criminally misguided to me.

------
kr4
Challenge yourself to discover the joy in "now". Regardless of the activity
you're doing, whether or not you like it. The idea is to change prospective.
When you start enjoying the work, and not worry about the fruits of it, you'll
begin to develop unexpected peace and happy state of mind.

Simplify your life. The less clutter/complication without, the less the same
within

On a more concrete level you may experiment with doing following things daily:
A bit of exercise, charity, meditation, reading and learning.

With charity I mean random act of kindness toward someone. Help someone, be it
physically, emotionally, financially or in whatever way.

Re learning, to be expert in any new skill it takes 10k hours, so pick
something you're passionate about and keep learning/practicing it daily for
couple or so hours.

Experts experience different state of consciousness and unexplicable joy while
doing the mastered activity.

------
0x4f3759df
Understanding the arc of life. Life in your 20s can be more about horsing
around with your friends, but after 40 its more about spending time with your
family (your friends become less available because they all started families).

Discovering fitness. Imagine someone who sits in their car on the way to work,
then sits at work, then comes home and watches TV while sitting. That person
is unhappy because they are sitting all day. Think of kids, they want to run
around and play soccer, go to karate, do gymnastics... we're not so different.
Hit the gym, hit the bike machine/trail, hit the weights, do a 5K, hit the
climbing gym, stretch, do a handstand, do a butterfly kick, do an aerial

Live in a walk-able area if possible. Learn a foreign language. Eliminate
vices

------
troycarlson
Here's what I try to do:

\- Outsource chores or tasks I hate doing (like shopping and laundry).

\- Optimize for free time where I have no obligations...I find that very
pleasant.

\- Say yes to things I've never tried before...if I hate it I'll say no the
next time but I'll forever be able to tell people I tried X. This also makes
conversations with strangers and acquaintances easier because I've tried a lot
of stuff and can contribute to more conversations.

\- Travel with friends. This can be hard to coordinate but is incredibly fun.

\- Treat myself on occasion. I try to minimize the "stuff" I own but I just
bought a nice pair of shoes that I've been looking at for a while and they
make me happy every time I wear them.

\- Only use social media for staying connected instead of entertainment. If I
want to send a message to someone specific or look at pictures of my nephew,
I'll log into Facebook. But as soon as I find myself scrolling through any
sort of "feed" I pinch myself and log out...it's 95% bullshit I don't care
about and 100% stuff I don't NEED to see right now anyway.

------
weddpros
\- non-boring: skip things you find boring

\- pleasant: skip things you find unpleasant

In other words: resist outside pressure, experiment by yourself, take
responsibility.

Taking responsibility could be seen as the first step. Once you're OK with the
idea, it's easier to experiment out of the box, and to resist outside pressure
that would force you into a boring, unpleasant life.

That's how I do it. I'm 46, live happy, in a happy couple for 7 yrs, nomading,
currently in Malaysia, remote software engineer, working as little (<1wk/m) as
possible to sustain this life. I own nothing and don't crave anything, I did
nothing as they said, I learnt to not care about what they think, I'm
responsible for my own fate. My priorities changed a lot after an ischemic
stroke 14 years ago: life is short, too short to let others tell you how
boring your own life should be.

------
criveros
\- Travel

\- Don't take life too seriously

\- Party. Enjoy the nightlife. Go to clubs and bars and meet people.

\- Approach anybody you are interested in.

~~~
sp527
This is by far the best advice for anyone who's young and/or single. I would
only add:

\- Hobbies (preferably social ones; commit at least 5-10 hrs a week) \- Don't
overwork while young; the marginal gains aren't worth it unless you get really
lucky. If your job/role comps well but is more than 60 hrs a week (and even
that's pushing it), it's not worth it. Or maybe you do want to play the
startup lottery; just fully appreciate that it is in fact a lottery and make
your choice accordingly.

^Highly opinionated

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anonnyj
There are basic human desires, those are a good start. Here's a random garbage
link (first hit on shit search engine): [https://explorable.com/16-basic-
desires-theory/](https://explorable.com/16-basic-desires-theory/)

The list however, basically nails it. Some or all of those will add meaning to
your life if you aim for them.

Personally, creation does it the best for me. There's a massive amount of
things you can create, and an endless amount of skills you can learn/improve
on. As long as you don't have delusions of becoming famous and treat it as a
hobby, you can do it for life. Not so many fellow adults have as much free
time as me though, so I'm not sure how viable this particular path would be
for others.

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dasmoth
Having at least some flexibility regarding working hours and location seems to
be a disproportionately big win for me. There are few more frustrating things
than being in an office at 9am on a lovely day when I'd rather be
walking/cycling, even when I'm not really in the middle of something and
nothing is on fire. I'm actually going to be more productive for the day if I
go for a walk, mull things over, and perhaps sling some code in the evening.

Flexibility and keeping synchronisation points reasonably infrequent is far
more important to me than reducing overall workload.

------
jedanbik
Learn to cook interesting recipes and challenge yourself by shopping at ethnic
grocery stores.

------
alphaoide
Good food, opportunities to create (e.g, photos, apps), thrill (e.g., roller
coaster, whitewater rafting), prefer nature more than concrete jungle, funny
TV shows, social circles that I don't need to fit into.

------
tastyham
My take is that WHAT you do and WHERE you do it are much less important than
WHO you do it with. Building strong family, friend, and romantic relationships
is all that matters.

------
Razengan
Explore, discover, travel, experience, create, contemplate and hopefully
improve the world or at least someone else's time on it in the process.

------
purplezooey
A lot of people are living the lives others expect them to, like their
parents. That includes a lot of people with kids, too.

------
typon
be passionate about _something_ , help others by giving away your time and
money and expect nothing in return, but also be selfish sometimes and invest
in yourself

------
minikomi
A bicycle is a wonderful thing.

