
The Necessity of Self-Help Lit - diodorus
http://www.iasc-culture.org/THR/THR_article_2016_Fall_DavisNecessity.php
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agentgt
Many people do not realize that one can get professional help that does have
academic rigor and will be somewhat paid for (depending on insurance
coverage).

If you can get over the still present social taboo of going to a therapist I
highly recommend it both for relationships and personal growth (there is not
just CBT but some newer forms that I have forgotten the names of). If you
don't like a therapist you can easily switch and most are happy to refer and
connect you with others (if they don't they are not a professional).

If you are willing to be slightly experimental (and if you are buying a book I
would imagine you are) there are also Universities and other Institutions that
are always looking for participants in studies.

Another extremely pro to a professional therapist is that they keep
longitudinal records. Many people have a hard time tracking their progress and
if they do it still might not be accurate compared to a third party observer.

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eduren
How might someone approach/shop therapists (CBT or otherwise) with the goal
being personal growth? I've given thought to how useful a professional opinion
may be (most of my barriers are self-inflicted), but I'm unsure about how much
I'd get out of it and how to present my needs to the therapist at first. Any
advice?

PS: If you have any reading/links on the subject handy I'd appreciate it. My
searchings have found little.

~~~
veritas3241
I can't say that I have any links, just personal experience.

I've seen the same therapist for 5+ years. He helped me get through my divorce
and grow into a much better person. Recently, I've started trying to use him
as an accountability mechanism for improving the still remaining ~5% of my
life that I wish to continue improving. I've found it to be less effective
that I had hoped b/c he's not really serving a function he's trained at nor
are our meetings frequent enough to be just-in-time useful (~once/mo.).

I suspect a mastermind group of like-minded strangers that meet on a weekly
basis would be more effective (and cheaper!).

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nickparker
>I suspect a mastermind group of like-minded strangers that meet on a weekly
basis would be more effective (and cheaper!).

Lean In Circles[1] are a good example of this mechanism. I haven't looked too
deeply into them, but I briefly participated at my school (they're all-
inclusive, but focused on women in tech) and it was a very positive
experience. They may have some useful data for you on how to effectively
practice this idea.

[1]: [https://leanincircles.org/](https://leanincircles.org/)

~~~
rleonard
Yes I have been in 2 masterminds and both have been great for support and
advice. As a result I build a SaaS to help more people connect this way
because I believe that the more we help each other the better for everyone.
www.eccountability.io

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sharkweek
An anecdote, that I at least find kind of funny in my own life:

I deal with diagnosed anxiety and OCD, and thus have read dozens of self-help
books on working with these issues. A funny thing happened when I started
reading the genre, in that I found myself somewhat addicted to it after the
first 3-4 books.

I brought this up to my therapist after about the 10th book in two months, and
he joked but also seriously said, ok, time to take a break, pick a few
unrelated and fun fiction books and go to town on those instead.

Not offering medical advice here as everyone is different, but I've noticed a
gradual decline in symptoms when I'm able to focus less on the issues
themselves.

~~~
blatherard
Thanks for sharing that. I am a moderator of an addiction-related subreddit,
and recently a commenter made a short list of things they had struggled with
which included (unsurprisingly) alcohol, tobacco and drugs. But they also
included an unhealthy dependence on 'self-help' which was my first encounter
with this idea. So you're not alone!

~~~
sharkweek
I'm pretty sure people with addictive personalities can also get extremely
addicted to their own thinking (stealing this idea from DFW's Infinite Jest,
but I agree with it)

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stinkytaco
Funny you should bring up DFW, who was apparently quite into self-help books
himself:

[https://theawl.com/inside-david-foster-wallaces-private-
self...](https://theawl.com/inside-david-foster-wallaces-private-self-help-
library-f84d5f56fccd#.32kd1v8vm)

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ranko
Browsing the "self-help" shelf at my local charity shop, I came across _Tarzan
of the Apes_ and _Breakfast at Tiffany 's_. I like to think that this is a
clever deconstruction of the genre.

~~~
marcosdumay
I brought my copy of 1984 from the non-fiction section of the bookstore.

~~~
InitialLastName
I sometimes leave copies of the Bible in the fiction section.

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spraak
> _On the other hand, the self-sufficiency and self-mastery promoted in much
> self-help are, as critics suggest, illusions. We do not make ourselves, and
> we cannot validate ourselves. Imagining that we can will bring not
> independence or confidence or trust, but, ironically, a lot of anxious
> searching for the approval of others—or a return to the self-help literature
> for the key to that elusive autonomy._

What?! How then _can_ we validate and make ourselves? Is the author a
proponent of submission to a god? I don't understand how there is any other
way to be validated, because one can never truly be validated from the outside
anyways - there will always be external critics.

Edit: formatting

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pjmorris
There's a step short of submission to a deity: peer-review.

I suspect the author meant something more like 'We do not solely make
ourselves, and we cannot solely validate ourselves.'

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spraak
That's still validation from the outside, from which one will never receive
the clearest, most honest review, though I admit it can be helpful on the
journey. The highest clarity comes from within, which is what all paths of
truth teach (and in fact, what self-help books are often based on, inspired
by, or try -- and sometimes succeed at -- teaching)

~~~
pjmorris
I have found my highest clarity to occasionally be obscured by clouds, hence
my tendency to look outward once in awhile.

~~~
spraak
Yes, me too. Though I don't think it will be the ultimate return. I do believe
that someone else who has reached the unreachable can point the way, but that
at that point it will still come from within.

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gwbas1c
All I can think about is "Little Miss Sunshine" where one of the characters
wants to be a self-help star on the self-help circuit, but really needs the
most help of them all.

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sosuke
The content was great but I wanted to mention the narrated recording at the
top by curio.io was excellent. Really a pleasure to listen to while working
and I'd never heard of the site before.

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edgarvaldes
My problem with self-help books is: The key ideas they contain can be
expressed in a single page.

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sAuronas
The key idea, if there is only one to be had, still has to be "owned" by the
reader and that requires knowing the why.

I took more issue with the notion that having an MD behind your name makes
what you say more valid (Deepak Chopra) versus just being some dude who
teaches "neural linguistic programming" (Anthony Robbins). Having read (3
books each) both Dr Chopra and Mr Robbins I can tell you that the former
writes books that are so unscientific as to make you wonder if he forgot
everything he learned in med school or is just making so much money that he
doesn't care how much he metaphysically babbles about nothingness [sic].
(Pretty sure I know the answer.) No matter what you think about Tony Robbins,
you have to admit some of his ideas have traction.

If you read enough of these books you'll find yourself making some
improvements to your life. Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink", etc, were hugely
impressive to me if only for his ability to tell the story of achievement and
to make you believe genius-level ability is attainable, notwithstanding the
allegations of plagiarism and the recycling of ideas.

The real issue today is that there are so many motivational speakers/writers
that it's become impossible not to waste a lot of time trying to discern the
steak from the bullshit.

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theonething
> The real issue today is that there are so many motivational speakers/writers
> that it's become impossible not to waste a lot of time trying to discern the
> steak from the bullshit.

This sounds "ripe for disruption." Any startups trying to solve this?

~~~
sAuronas
You could...

