

How To Give (Negative) Feedback Effectively - pytrin
http://www.jasonshen.com/2012/how-to-give-negative-feedback-effectively/

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nthnclrk
The often cited "POsitive-negative-positive" method is terrible and is used by
those with zero feedback skills.

The most important component I have found from working in a company with an
open, expected and established culture of consistent feedback, is that
objectivity comes from specificity. This leads to a much better outcome and
people having less of an issue taking the feedback onboard as it removes
emotions and concentrates on the issue and not the person.

My particular approach, learnt from a previous organisation I worked for, and
which works brilliantly:

Take time to actually adequetely identify the 'specific' action/habit/issue
that needs correction and then find a clear impact on a given stakeholder. I
know this sounds obvious, but is often overlooked. A great way to find if
you're are specific enough is that it should come down to something you can
see or hear. You can't see someone "being too negative", only actions that
lead to the subject being percieved so.

Now keeping the clearly identified action/s in mind, you can approach the
person with an open mind, ask for permission to give the feedback (you want to
set an environment conducive to the process), and then let them know the
problem as well as how it is affecting customers/the team/you.

The impact not the negative action is possibly the crucial element here
depending on the actual problem.

Of course, it is important to not come across condescending but it will pay
off to not tell the person how to fix this behaviour, but let them offer it to
you. I have found that many times people will not know what they were doing
was wrong and come to the right conclusion themselves.

Work together to find a way to overcome the issue if necessary, and offer to
help in the process or to point them in the right direction—for instance if
persons problem comes down to time management, and one of your peers happens
to have that as a strength, then maybe they could spend time together on a
project and that peer could share the way they effectively manage their time.

After the exchange it's also important to make sure that they know everything
is 'cool' between you two, so later in the day/week it may be advantageous to
strike up conversation on a completely unrelated topic, or just ask how their
week is going, even invite them for a drink after work etc.

If done correctly this approach will work literally every single time. It did
not fail me once in four years.

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zeroonetwothree
Also recommended is this book: [http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-
Listen/dp/145166388...](http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-
Listen/dp/1451663889/)

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citricsquid
tl:dr; fill your comment with (often meaningless) things just to make the
person you're giving the feedback feel better.

(I'm all for being polite and framing negative feedback positively, I try it
myself, but ultimately it's all completely pointless. If someone can't take "I
don't like that you did x, it should be why because z" without it starting
with "I really love this and I love what you're trying to achieve ... but I
guess you made that choice for a reason, so keep up the good work!" they might
need to rethink creating things... someone shouldn't need to say they care and
say they respect the person: if someone is giving you feedback then it's
already clear they care... but then I guess that's the human brain, we're
weird creatures that constantly need positive reinforcement)

~~~
pytrin
People often leave comments that are poorly worded, poorly thought of and
sometimes completely irrelevant, all to make their voice heard and not because
they care. There's too many of those here on HN

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emiliobumachar
I find it helpful to avoid using the word 'you' unless the feedback is
actually personal.

~~~
positr0n
This is very useful. I've noticed this helps keep feelings smooth between my
wife and I as well _even if it is actually personal feedback._ Avoiding saying
the word "you" makes it easier to not come off as attacking the other person.
It's already hard enough to be on the receiving end of negative feedback.

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pytrin
I think every HN user should read this and consider it when posting their next
comment.

~~~
thinkingisfun
Well, or downvote, the cowardly little brother of negative feedback ^^

But to pad everything with sucking up to a total stranger? Nah. At least not
when talking about general or bigger stuff, as opposed to personal suggestions
or projects. I show people I care; just not necessarily about them. They kinda
have to earn that, first.

~~~
olavk
I'm surprised that you see politeness and qualification of criticism as
"sucking up". But if constructive and moderated criticsm is seen as a sign of
weakness, it kind of explains why unconstructive criticism and flaming is
rampant on the internet.

~~~
thinkingisfun
_I'm surprised that you see politeness and qualification of criticism as
"sucking up"._

I don't, I see sucking up as sucking up. E.g. If someone says all black people
should be killed, do I even have a right to assume they have great, superb,
excellent intentions? Should I really start my response with lauding those?
Nah. There's limits.

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hammock
The "shit sandwich" or positive-negative-positive method or sugar-coated
version is easy to hate. On the face of it, it seems like doing this waters
down your message.

But it's important to understand the real point of such a technique- which is
to prevent the other person from becoming defensive and shutting down. That is
really what you're trying to avoid, and there are a variety of ways to do
that, including but not limited to the above. Because if they are defensive
then they aren't receptive, and you've failed in giving feedback.

As michaelochurch says below, framing the criticism as it applies to their
goals (as opposed to yours) is one way to make their ears perk up and keep
listening.

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lhnz
Everybody's different. You can be more straight-forward with some people, and
others need to hear a lot of positive framing.

Always be kind and positive about what you say though. Assume that their
intentions are, like you, to create a good product or do the right thing.

Another direction that you can take this is in getting other people to agree
with you and speaking indirectly through all of them. However this is
complicated to do right...

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Toucan
One thing I have been taught to use is the "shit sandwich". Positive,
negative, positive. The danger is your negative lesson being lost so this
method does favour directness.

The advantage of finishing on a high is it often lets the conversation
continue so that your subject can ask for clarification if they need it.

~~~
ljf
Indeed, the problem I find is that people come away with two positives, and
unless they are actively trying to look for your advice it can be missed.

I think you just have to contextualise the feedback to show you understand the
issue then explain where you see the problem. Then if asked give your advice
on what you would do to fix the issue. Leading with your chosen solution is
another common mistake. There may be good reasons they didn't do that to start
with, and the problem you were addressing becomes lost.

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michaelochurch
I think the best way to give negative feedback is to indicate how the person
is failing to achieve _their_ goals, preferably in fairly objective terms, and
how they would benefit if they improved. Preferably the improvement needs to
be genuine (i.e. you'll be more effective and happier) rather than artificial
(i.e. this matters for political reasons).

People don't want to listen to you if you're sniping at them for how they
failed to serve _you_ , but if you can indicate to someone a way they could
more effectively pursue their own interests, you become a mentor and leader
rather than a slavedriver, because you're showing them how to more effectively
pursue what they already know they want.

For example, I knew someone who was trying to get his team to come in at 9:00
because the rest of the business was in at that time. If he put it in the
right terms, e.g. "coming in at 9:00 will improve the image of our group and
serve us better in getting promotions", he could have gotten what he wanted.
But he pulled the "because I say so" / "fuck you, I'm your boss" card and
flopped. If you manage from authority rather than leadership, the good ones
leave you and the bad ones bring you down through incompetence if not outright
sabotage.

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therealmarkhall
A good resource on responding to feedback can be found at
<http://www.gotjuice.co.uk/blog> all their articles are geared around how to
improve on bad reviews and how to respond

