
Ask HN: After becoming a parent, what perspectives changed for you? - ishjoh
Talking with a friend of mine I used the phrase &quot;as a Dad...&quot;, which caught me off guard as I always had a strong negative reaction when hearing it before becoming a father.<p>What perspective changes have you noticed after becoming a parent?
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p0d
When my children were young I went through a short phase of worrying about
dying. It seemed like a cloud would come over my brain and I was worried it
would come one day and not leave. I have never experienced any type of anxiety
like this before or after.

After some time I confided the problem with my wife. I was surprised by her
reaction. She said, "you should be glad you are starting to feel normal things
for the first time in your life".

Then the penny dropped. I had never been loved unconditionally in the way my
wife and children loved me. It's not surprising to worry about being separated
from such love. So to answer your question it was more like a brain re-wiring
than new perspective.

25 years on I have a contenment about life and death. I hope my children will
go on to do better things than I have done and that I can help them along the
way.

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hmcamp
Three things for me have changed:

The first is my willingness to make sacrifices and the extent to which I’ve
gone to make sure my children are safe.

The second is my view of what’s important in life. While younger, money most
definitely topped my list. Presently, being able to spend time with them is
highest.

The other thing that I realize that has changed for me is the awareness that
so few things are fixed.

I’ve seen how the kids try and fail, and try again. This helped me to realize
that a lot of what I used to take as a given was in reality not. It’s made me
more curious and willing to experiment.

As they grow, more things will change in my life.

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brudgers
The one that keeps on giving is doing things that a few years earlier I would
have said “that’s crazy I would never do that.”

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mistermann
For me, it's really changed my conception of what a proper adult/parent is.
Well, I guess it's not _just_ personally becoming a parent, it's probably a
mix of a whole bunch of things. When I think back to being younger, it seems
to me now that I had quite a specific idea in my head of what "responsible"
adults/parents should be. But once you've got a couple kids of your own, and
are lucky enough to have several friends who are a decade or so ahead of you
(so you can compare and contrast parenting styles, and their results), it's
pretty tough to maintain this notion that there is a narrow range of "proper"
behavior that you have to adhere to if you want your kids to turn out "right".

