Ask HN: What are you doing for your mental health? - lainon
======
sillysaurus3
Mostly trying to relate with people on HN. Hit me up on Keybase if anyone
wants to chat (username sillysaurus). Just had an enjoyable one with a
longtime member.

Keybase feels like the chat program HN never had.

Why is it good for mental health? Well, it's easy to get isolated. Sometimes
the data you're receiving paints a very different picture to you than it does
to someone else.

It's probably an unpopular view that mental health is improved by adding
_more_ internet, not less.

I'd tend to agree, if only there were non-internet activities to go to. Church
is out. No school. I'm sure there are hackerspaces somewhere near by, but
those have to be planned. I can't just go there at 2am, which is what I feel
like right now.

People who say it's good to disconnect are kind of like wealthy people telling
the poor to just have money. Yeah, it would be nice, but programming and
conversations are two fulfilling activities.

Especially from people I don't know. Hi! Talk to me, if you want. If you need
anyone to listen or to let you unload on them, use me as an outlet. I won't
mind. And I don't care if it's random bullshit or things that seem like
bullshit. I won't judge you, only listen to you and talk it over. And I'll
keep your secrets.

~~~
orionblastar
It is good to get talking about mental health with other mentally ill people
and psychiatrists as well.

I used to do that on Kuro5hin, but it went down, I used to do that on Reddit
but got banned from some subreddits with no feedback given.

I have websites I am working on to develop into organization etc.

[http://blastar.in/wordpress/](http://blastar.in/wordpress/)

[http://blastar.org/](http://blastar.org/)

I can be reached by orionblastar@gmail.com

I have a keybase but haven't used it much. I don't have many friends, many
reject me for my mental illness, and I am not allowed to talk about it in
public areas of the Internet.

For some reason, I get along with people who have autism because I have social
issues like they do, and might be misdiagnosed, but still I might have been on
the spectrum before the changes got made.

Yeah, it is unpopular to discuss mental health or politics on the Internet.
Rather than ban the people attacking the mentally ill person, they find it
easier to just fire the mentally ill person from work or ban and censor them
on the Internet etc.

I'd like to do some sort of non-profit that helps mentally ill people find
work or start up their own businesses.

------
jmkni
I’ve started going to Meetups (via Meetup.com) about anything vaguely
interesting looking (especially the non-technical ones). I think it’s good to
get out and meet new people, and talk about things which don’t involve
programming or technology for a change.

I’ve also stopped eating fast/oven food and started properly preparing my
meals. I know very little about cooking so it’s a good learning experience
(Youtube is really helpful) and I’m probably eating healthier as a result.

Another thing, about a year ago I stopped using Facebook, and I rarely use
Twitter, and never use Instagram. I’m convinced they are the psychological
equivalent of junk food.

~~~
godzillabrennus
Making food for oneself is such a wonderful way to spend time. It lets us
focus on what we put into our bodies. It’s amazing to do this for yourself if
you have time.

Prepared foods are proven to be as bad for us as smoking but it’s not well
publicized by the mainstream media.

[https://www.cancer.org/latest-news/world-health-
organization...](https://www.cancer.org/latest-news/world-health-organization-
says-processed-meat-causes-cancer.html)

~~~
astrodev
"Overall, the lifetime risk of someone developing colon cancer is 5%. To put
the numbers into perspective, the increased risk from eating the amount of
processed meat in the study would raise average lifetime risk to almost 6%."

------
KaiserPro
Not working more than 35 hours a week, like my parents used to.

Continuing my refusal to have email/slack/$other on my phone.

Telling people that if they want impossible target a, then they need to let go
of target b, and then walking off to let them figure shit out.

Deleting people who are unable to tweet politics objectivly/first hand (ie
anything other than non specialist journalists)

~~~
anotheryou
How are you employed? I'm doing the 43h grind (+ travel) to boost my career a
bit, but plan to reduce that a lot as soon as possible :)

Sadly it's a bit more difficult as a product manager. Simply being around for
anything that comes up is very valuable in that position. I might need to plan
the jump to consultancy some day.

~~~
KaiserPro
I spent the time to find a company that understands what its like to have a
family. My wife is a doctor, so she works all hours, this means that I am
looking after the kids.

So someone having issues on the system is frankly worth shit all compared to
feeding/bathing/putting to bed my children.

I'm a sysadmin/sre/devop (delete as appropriate) so I do _occationally_ work
out of hours. However I make it clear that I only expect to be called when
there is a buisness level event (as in, if this doesn't get fixed we are going
to go bankcrupt)

I am honest with my potential employer. I say I have to be back at my
children's nursery by 18:00 of it'll cost one pound for every minute I'm late.
Once I am home, I'm off the clock, and unless they are going to pay me _at
least_ double time, I'm not ever working out of my contracted hours.

My rational is this:

In england, people have literally died for workers rights. I will not
undermine other by "going above and beyond" The contract pays me for x hours,
and thats what they get. Would a company expect a SaaS contract to offer 30%
free funcionality? no, thats what contracts with SLAs are for. Why should
employees be any different.

~~~
anotheryou
Very reasonable, I totally agree.

------
_wmd
Gave away most of my furniture and electronics, packed the rest in a cheap
storage unit and fled London to a pristine and mostly unoccupied south Indian
beach, where I spent 5 months worth of mornings going for a swim before
sitting down to remote freelance work, at a table overlooking the ocean.

It wasn't a perfect move (the working holiday part), but damn it's by far the
best winter I've had in a decade. 10/10 would flee again!

Currently writing from Bangalore, had to head central for good Internet and
power, and a quiet desk, but that's a story for another time.

~~~
austinjp
Well this sounds absolutely incredible, congratulations.

I'm curious, do you experience any loneliness? Presumably the internet
facilitates communication with distant friends and family, but how about
meeting people in meatspace?

~~~
pvinis
Oh god! Hadn't heard of "meatspace" before to reference the world outside the
internet. :D

~~~
atsaloli
William Gibson used it. That's where I came across it. E.g. "Neuromancer",
"Count Zero".

------
pinguinFromY
Physical exercises, hiking and some other sports I practice. Sport is like
magic, clears my mind and helps with anxiety. Doing legos and playing board
games. Playing around in FL Studio and with my launchpad. I'll try to get into
drawing/painting. Keep social networks at a minimum and just take a look in a
while to see what the few distant friends I have are doing. I don't really
want to delete them because they are a good source of news and other stuff you
can learn. Reading/watching everything about technical stuff, documentaries,
sci fi books. Worldbuilding on stack exchange is a good source to interact
with people interested in sci fi stuff.

These are the things that keep me in a decent mental shape after writing code
all day. I also play highly-tiltable multiplayer games so that affects me
also. Cryptos and some stocks are also a source of stress. I also tend to
avoid spending money on things I don't really need and then regret later, it's
a discipline I learned while being a poor kid.

------
peterburkimsher
Taking a break to watch the sunset.

Praying and reading the Bible in the morning.

Biking to and from work.

Listening to music.

Chocolate.

9gag.

Visit the sick (there's a student club to play games with kids in the
hospital), visit those in prison, feed the hungry (buy dinner for someone or
invite & cook), welcome strangers into your home (CouchSurfing).

I attend the CouchSurfing meetup too, and church, but the social groups can
bring stress sometimes, not only relieve it. Having several groups lets me
vent the issues with one group to friends in another social circle.

~~~
samuell
Praying and Bible reading in the morning (mostly I manage to do just one of
the two though), is definitely the one most efficient thing to keep me
balanced and sane. Helps you put life and yourself in perspective and have so
much more patience and peace during the day.

Biking to work and going out for a run a few times per week also helps quite a
bit. I think we're created for being out in nature.

------
cperciva
My girlfriend is one of the least technical people I know. Spending time with
her makes me almost completely forget about work.

~~~
peterburkimsher
Me too. I think asking couples how they met is a good idea to find out about
friendly communities in an unfamiliar city.

~~~
cperciva
You didn't ask me, but since the topic came up: I met my girlfriend in an
amateur orchestra we play in -- we're both violinists.

------
roma1n
See friends, exercise, and if the issue is serious enough, do not put off
seeing a psychiatrist or another health professional.

Strangely enough you do not see an Ask HN: what are you doing for your T1
diabetes ? -- people will just see their doctor and inject insulin. Yet we do
not treat mental health that way.

~~~
mercer
I think it's a very good thing that we don't treat mental health that way
because, generally speaking, we're nowhere near understanding mental health
issues the way we understand diabetes (although I wouldn't be surprised if we
don't understand that one as well as I'm inclined to think).

A better analogy would be something like 'Ask HN: what are you doing for your
front-end javascript needs', which of course is discussed a lot, maybe even
too much.

To be clear, I do agree that if you have serious issues it would be good to
see a professional. But it's not a panacea and so it's quite possible, likely
even, that a lot of people asking questions like OP are asking specifically
_because_ a professional has not been able to cleanly solve the problem, if at
all. In fact, I've met plenty of people who felt they were worse off after
getting help.

Again, I'd still recommend you try if you're struggling, but it's important to
not see a mental health professional as 'the' solution, because on top of
quite possibly turning out to be a disappointing experience, it might keep you
from trying other stuff alongside it.

------
zapperdapper
Exercise (yes it helps), eat right, sleep 8 hours, have fun, be kind,
meditate, create.

~~~
landon32
Great succinct list. It is the same for me, except I have a mandatory "spend
time with love ones and close friends" in there, and I don't meditate
regularly enough.

~~~
zapperdapper
Quite right. I dashed out that list and should have added 'family and friends'
\- very, very important!

------
sshine
1\. See a shrink about childhood stuff. 2\. Have a girlfriend with no anger
issues. 3\. Exercise 3-5 times a week. 4\. Don't avoid saying things because
they're hard to say. Regretting or postponing important things puts a lot of
strain on my mental capacity at work and at home. 5\. Quit facebook. (Start by
removing it from my phone.) 6\. Go to bed early. No electronics after 10 or
near the bed.

------
enothereska
\- deleted Facebook account \- deleted Twitter account \- kept LinkedIn
account

Keeping things simple, hanging out with the 4-5 real friends I have rather
than tracking 500 imaginary friends.

------
KozmoNau7
I cut out Reddit entirely, and severely cut down on my Facebook usage. I'm not
on any other social media (I don't consider forums and HN comments etc. to be
social media). In general, I abstain from most online non-specific discussion,
because it always tends to devolve into politics and mudslinging.

IRL I go to a lot of concerts, and I spend a significant amount of time
cooking and baking, with my girlfriend.

IMO the key is to do stuff _YOU_ like, instead of getting caught up in the
drama of others.

------
innoprenuer
* weight training (gym) 3 times a week * martial arts/ parkour/ swimming 2 times/ week (on non-gym days) * practice mindfulness (not meditation but staying consciously in the moment) * eating heathy vegetarian freshly home cooked diet 6 days/week * try to sleep atleast 7 hours (i am not able to consistently manage this yet) * try to take mid noon naps (this compensates a lack of night sleep to some extent) * weekly meet ups with new people and maybe make new friends in the process. * removed facebook and instagram apps from mobile (may check updates on the web onve in a while but not regularly) * Trying to keep a watch on myself (taking notes of my unhealthy habits or routines) and try to replace them with healthier routines. * using Anki app ( spaced repetition memory technique ) and go through all flash cards for that day in first 2 hours of day. * take shower everyday in first 2 hours of waking up and grooming. this is already doing wonders to me as it forces me to go to gym first thing in the morning to avoid taking shower again. It also makes me feel fresher and ready for the day. * read a book for few minutes before going to bed.

------
shams93
Doubled my income and killed my commute by bailing from startups to work
remote for a large company with early hours but it's only 8-9 hours a day not
14-20.

------
womitt
Psychologist every other week.

Meditate in the morning (10mins) and in the evening (20mins).

Pretty much would advise everybody to go to a psychologist regulalry, it
really helped me to stay sane (had episodes when I was genuinely affraid of
going mad)

------
emerged
Have become very settled into an exercise regime which includes weightlifting
and plenty of cardio. Got to the weight that I wanted and the cardio makes it
possible to eat a very ample amount of calories which feels amazing.

Quit drinking as well, which has had me beaming with a sense of
accomplishment.

These two have had the secondary effect of falling asleep early and waking up
well rested.

~~~
swah
Did you have a drinking problem? I have a few beers per week but still think
of "quitting" now and then. How much cardio do you do?

~~~
emerged
I was drinking Fri-Sat-Sun with the intent of being drunk each time. It was
enough to regularly make bad choices and have regrets, so probably on the
fringe at least of it being a problem.

Cardio, roughly 60-90mins per day at high intensity, on average 4-5 days a
week. I've noticed that a big mood boost happens after about an hour in --
endorphin release maybe.

------
tamriel
Deleting insidious social media accounts (Facebook for example) half a decade
ago when it became clear which way the wind was blowing.

I seriously doubt I would be as happy, or even alive, it I hadn't.

------
fredley
Killing my Facebook Feed:

[https://blog.mamota.net/posts/solving-
facebook/](https://blog.mamota.net/posts/solving-facebook/)

------
bobosha
Surprised no one has mentioned Mindfulness yet. Like most I was skeptical
about this new-agey BS. But sitting quietly without interruption for 10-20
minutes every day, and just focusing on breathing, has helped me a lot. Note:
I am a long time sufferer of PTSD.

~~~
n8rb
I've tried meditation unsuccessfully a few times, and I tried mindful
meditation unsuccessfully, but I was enlightened when I realized that
mindfulness doesn't have to mean meditation. Mindfulness, at it's core, just
means trying to keep your mind from wandering from it's task. In meditation,
that task might be breathing, but I've found it useful for so many other
things. Being present with my baby boy when a technical issue is bugging me.
Listening to a boring story and giving feedback. Pushing through drudgery.
It's an irreplaceable tool.

------
christiangenco
* Turning off every notification on my phone

* Biking (or alternate rigorous exercise) every day

* Getting out of bed as soon as I'm awake

* Setting a bedtime and a bedtime plan (blue light filtering glasses two hours before bed; no tech an hour before)

* Reviewing positive and negative experiences[1] to maximize positive ones and minimize negative ones"

* Setting measurable goals for improvement[2] that make it clear what the most important thing to work on is

1\. [http://gen.co/2017-review](http://gen.co/2017-review) 2\.
[http://gen.co/2018](http://gen.co/2018)

------
nzjrs
No twitter. No more FOSS on github. Lots of exercise.

~~~
danieldk
Just out of curiosity: why not on GitHub? Could you compare to other places to
contribute? Examples of fulfilling project to contribute to?

------
itissid
Some things I did:

\- Started learning a new language(along with my wife)

\- Yoga classes and meditation

\- Carpentry or home improvement projects

\- Learning to keep things in their place and keep my room tidy

\- Letting go at the end of a distraction filled day, but motivating(and
performing) better on the next

\- Reading inspiring words: The motivation manifesto by Brendon Burchard is my
go to book.

\- Make deliberate effort to do the opposite of what you Flight
Response(System 1) wants.

\- Having more friends over and playing some games with them.

\- Not looking at political news.

\- Trashing all junk food/unhealthy snacks in the house and replacing them
with something better

------
ambivalents
Exercise 3-5x/week, and stay active throughout the day (standing desk,
frequent walk breaks). High intensity exercise >>>> low intensity in re its
effects on my mood (for me! YMMV). I feel virtually unchanged after 30 mins
moderate effort on a bike, but like a brand new person after 10-15 minutes of
bike sprints

Drink plenty of water (also helps with staying active--frequent bathroom
breaks + the attendant socializing that comes with regularly wandering about
the office :) )

Read and practice stoicism

Re-contextualize. When I feel myself in a rut, I force myself to do something
new and uncomfortable. Keyword being "force" \-- usually when in such ruts the
last thing I want to be doing is putting myself somewhere unfamiliar. But this
can help attenuate certain thinking patterns and/or give you new perspectives.

Oh yeah, and proper use of certain medications and therapies have also helped.

------
Balgair
Related Question: How does one get counseling or other kinds of services like
that if one is legally barred from doing so as part of their job? (gov job,
so, yes, actually true)

~~~
jgimenez
Maybe your employer can provide some counseling services? I'm sure HR will
have a way to do that

------
nbsd4lyfe
Visiting my family on the weekends, not giving myself a hard time for failing
to do things that are optional, making sure I don't accidentally skip meals.

------
horofox
I go to work, nothing special as most of the remote worker in (subdeveloped
country with great weather). Actually in nothern Europe, where most of the
days are just gray and I don't get enough sunlight.

I have a wife and a dog whose I share my life with, we play games in the sofa
and eat together, maybe once a year we travel to explore new places. Sometimes
routine is hard, but I can always count on them snd vice-versa.

------
boyce
I see a really great and not too expensive psychiatrist who has worked wonders
for me and takes a very holistic approach - he'll often suggest something for
one problem but actually it solves two others and I realise years later.
Anyone in the Hants area I can wholeheartedly recommend Lars Hansen.

I take the bare minimum medication such that I don't get side affects and just
about notice my cycling is over a reduced range.

I drink very little nowadays and as a rule stick to a particular niche beer
style for a period and only drink beer I haven't already tried. Having managed
several craft beer bars and worked with most local breweries it's rare a pub
has something I don't know. I don't take drugs outside of prescriptions and
haven't for a few years.

I have one coffee a day, first thing, and again stick to a particular origin
for a long period so I don't find myself grabbing a starbucks for the sake of
it. I go to bed at a sensible time and never let myself lie in.

I don't eat much sugar, or carbohydrates generally. I don't eat beef or lamb
either. I try and include something like spinach or kale into every meal. I
don't eat takeaway food very often any more, last year it was twice.

I try and get outside for an extended period each day. I sit down as little as
possible. We have one television and it mainly stays off apart from the odd
bit of kids TV or Formula 1.

When I don't feel like doing something I need to, I try and challenge that and
prove to myself I can do it and that my fears were unfounded. If I'm worrying
about something I ask myself what am I really afraid of and then I can
reassure myself that if that situation occurred I could handle it.

I volunteer a day a week helping young people with mental health problems
challenge themselves.

I keep extensive notes on ideas I have, things I need to do, etc, so that I'm
not trying to remember things needlessly. My wife and I have strictly
delegated tasks like monthly budgeting, meal planning. If I'm struggling with
something I know to communicate that.

When I need to take a break mentally I'll put on an album I'm familiar with
and play along with it or write down some recipe ideas or similar. My garage
is where I can go to be alone when I need that.

Probably there's a hundred more things that aren't springing to mind right now

------
ghthor
I practice taijiquan & qigong everyday. Exploration and practice there have
helped me become more comfortable in my own body. I run and walk quite a lot
as well in preperation for ultramarathoning. In addition I play quite a lot of
socially engaging video games, currently playing World of Warcraft on a
private server which has a great community.

------
mmanzhos
I spend some time daily doing exercises from Feeling Good book. Feel much
better since I started 20 weeks ago.

------
dsego
Anyone know how to stop dissociating?

------
mariushn
Some more advice at [https://www.juvmed.com/healthy-
mind](https://www.juvmed.com/healthy-mind)

------
gospodin_i
Exercising as much a possible (aiming for 3 times/week + walking as much as
possible)

Practising mindfulness (I find it makes a big difference for me).

Spending time with friends and family.

------
superasn
Doing only enough programming to get by (no more OSS) and spending more time
with family and doing more offline things.

~~~
madez
Would you mind to share your experience with developing open source software
so others can learn? Is it the same one can read elsewhere like unthankful and
demanding people or just sheer amount of work, or something totally different?

~~~
superasn
Yes sure :) For me OSS has always been about scratching my own itch, i.e.
Creating a framework or library that I think would make my life easier or
would be just awesome if existed. Then release its source so other people with
that same itch can benefit and contribute.

My experiences have been mostly positive though not very rewarding because
when it comes to OSS people just think of your work as something they're
"buying" for free, i can't put it in words but it's like.. so this exists
without giving much thought to hours of effort someone has put into it, i.e
very few people think about the author because their focus is mainly on the
software. It's understandable because I may have done it too.

For me personally i like starting projects a lot and very bad at maintaining
them, dread looking at the issues in github. Also for me personally, finding
contributers has been difficult so I maintain it for a while then move on to
something else. I'm sure like everything a lot of people have a lot of
different experiences, mostly depending on the popularity of the project and
the people it affects (e.g.systemd type of stuff)

------
pkalinowski
\- Reduce social media to minimum \- Sport \- Hobby unrelated to IT \-
Additional interests unrelated to IT

------
ThePadawan
Exercise

Behavioral psychotherapy (lucky enough to live in a culture with socialized
health care)

------
arc_of_descent
Deep breathing helps to relax me. Meditation and waking up early.

------
7402
Walk outside for 45 minutes in the middle of every day.

------
piercebot
8 hours of sleep every night

Tai Chi

Less social media, more in-person interaction

------
s_kilk
Quitting online.

------
trentmb
Quit drinking, get a good nights sleep.

------
cvaidya1986
Socialize, meditate and work out.

------
mdekkers
Travel

------
6nf
SSRI

------
ilovemesomeperl
Binge drinking on the weekends... /s

But actually, sometimes. I am really not online much ever, I spend enough time
in front of screens so I sign off, all the way. Don't even bring my phone 9
out of 10 times.

------
ty0ki
Connect to IRCs, chat with folks on random channels Sadly my work blocks all
irc servers.

~~~
pgt
Vouched for your comment, because human connection - even in chat form - seems
to help me. I have also found that as a "computer person" who has to spend a
lot of time in front f a screen, I felt far more connected in the 90s IRC
world when I was actively engaging with other frontier folk in the field.

After a 10-year hiatus, I rediscovered that IRC/Discord is still where it's at
- and for some communities Slack (with its own set of problems).

When I am unable to have facetime, another mind online can anchor me offline.

~~~
myaso
It wasn't just the 90s, sometime after like the late 2000s meeting people
online organically became hard. I guess everyone who wanted to could just go
on FB now. It's like everyone got put into their own little box. Discord would
have been awesome if I was younger.

But yeah. Talking, chatting, reading, and running. Marathon video game binges
with old friends because we have less and less in common now. Everything
helps.

