
Denmark Offers to Buy U.S. - Ice_cream_suit
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/denmark-offers-to-buy-us
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doe88
Reading the title combined with the url I knew who the author was without
having read it yet, it's gold. I absolutely love his _reports_. Maybe should
have appended _(Andy Borowitz)_ in the title though, would certainly have
spared few bad reactions.

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Gys
Probably based on [https://grapevine.is/news/2019/08/20/greenland-
considering-b...](https://grapevine.is/news/2019/08/20/greenland-considering-
buying-us-back/) (also read the article footer)

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dvduval
I always appreciate a little humor sometimes. The Borowitz Report is always
nice to check on every so often.

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njharman
This is so stupid. It's not like USA has never bought territory from other
nations. Alaska, the Louisiana purchase.

We've even bought territory from Denmark for FUCKS sakes.

> Denmark sold the Danish Virgin Islands to the United States for $25 million
> in gold.

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ryanlol
I find it so weird that so many people seem to find the idea of buying
Greenland to be somehow outrageous.

It’s a horribly depressing island with like 50k people, the US could easily
hand everyone a million bucks and a passport.

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Arnt
That's right, you could have said, "hey greenlanders, if you'll join the US
we'll give each of you a million dollars and a passport". But that's not what
you did and you're judged for what you actually did, not for what you
hypothetically could.

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ryanlol
Who's "you"? The US? Not me, anyway.

>judged for what you actually did

Which is what exactly? I don't think they actually got around to doing
anything before it was leaked that they were discussing the idea.

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wuschb
Anyone think that the end game of trump buying Greenland is to turn it into a
"Escape from New York" type of internment camp for Illegals?

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s_Hogg
it would have to be relatively cheap given the amount of debt you'd have to
take on as part of the transaction. Really dilutes the value of the equity.

Edit: if anyone can work out a fair market value for, say, the lower 48 states
I'd be more than happy to be shown to be wrong, though.

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jfnixon
The US sells debt all day long, so what's the problem?

Maybe we could make Denmark a deal for a few large metropolitan areas, like
Detroit and San Fran. Let's see how the famed Danish model works on a larger
scale!

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a0-prw
Speaking as a Danish citizen, I feel this was Trump's masterplan all along. It
would be a terrible deal for Denmark ;)

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pontifier
USexit?

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rocqua
Is this real? Did a Danish spokesperson go rogue?

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dogecoinbase
No. Andy Borowitz writes satirical articles for the New Yorker.

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rocqua
Thanks, the story read like something from the onion, but I saw no indications
of satire around the site.

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unforeseen9991
The article referenced literally says "SATIRE FROM THE BOROWITZ REPORT" in
capital red letters right above the title.

