
Betty Weissman (mother of edw519) 1930-2011 - edw519
http://edweissman.com/betty-weissman-1930-2011
======
edw519
I realize this isn't exactly Hacker News, but sharing the source of my
inspiration brings me more comfort than just about anything I've ever posted
here. She was the perfect mother for an introverted, achievement-oriented nerd
trying to find his way in the world. Thanks for letting me share.

[UPDATE: Thank you all for your kind words. It really means a lot to me.]

~~~
mechanical_fish
By the authority invested in me by a highly arbitrary karma algorithm, I
decree that people with sufficient HN karma get to make a post inviting other
HN members to mourn the passing of their mother.

When we have to -- but not before; remember that we are nothing if not lean
and agile -- we can have the debate about the karma cutoff for mourning. My
initial proposal is: 1.

(Incidentally, more condolences, and I apologize if it is inappropriate to be
slightly silly at the memorial. It's my family tradition. I can't let my late
grandfather down. ;)

------
mcrittenden
When my dad died suddenly a couple years ago, I found a surprising amount of
relief from this poem.

Death is Nothing at All by Henry Scott Holland

    
    
        Death is nothing at all. 
        I have only slipped away into the next room. 
        I am I and you are you. 
        Whatever we were to each other, 
           that we still are.
        
        Call me by my old familiar name. 
        Speak to me in the easy way 
           which you always used. 
        Put no difference in your tone. 
        Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
        
        Laugh as we always laughed 
           at the little jokes we enjoyed together. 
        Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. 
        Let my name be ever the household word 
           that it always was.
        Let it be spoken without affect, 
           without the trace of a shadow on it.
        
        Life means all that it ever meant. 
        It is the same that it ever was. 
        There is absolutely unbroken continuity. 
        Why should I be out of mind 
           because I am out of sight?
        
        I am waiting for you, 
          for an interval, 
             somewhere very near, 
               just around the corner.
        
        All is well.

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jacquesm
hey Ed,

I just woke up to your email.

First of all my condolences to you

This stuff really hits where it hurts. The 'behind every great man' quote more
often than not refers to a mom rather than a spouse and I think it is
beautiful of you that you wrote this and I hope that those who don't think
this is 'hacker news' can keep their hands of their mouse buttons.

To all of you wondering how many pomodoros worth of productivity you can
squeeze out of today: Keep an eye on the rest of your life it is more fleeting
than you probably realize.

I love you is so much better than goodbye.

You're a lovely person Ed, now I have a bit more insight into why.

j.

~~~
larrys
"The 'behind every great man' quote more often than not refers to a mom"

I actually never thought about this until you just said it. I always put it to
the spouse not the mom.

It's sad that kids aren't raised like this anymore. In our day you didn't get
the trophy unless you deserved the trophy. Now kids get a trophy just for
showing up and everyone is special.

------
vimalg2
My condolences. May you find comfort in the good memories.

Last year, I lost my dad. He was 57; He died on his birthday. I miss his
quirky sense of humor.

~~~
sneak
If I must die, I hope to die as an integer as well.

------
larrys
I was raised the same way and can relate to all you've said about your mother.
(My mother is about the same age and was raised in the same era.)

These two are my favorites: \---- When others said, "We need a time-out," or
"This is a teaching moment," she just looked at you in such a way that you
knew that there would never be a worse feeling than disappointing her.

When you played a song on the piano and she didn't recognize it, she said,
"For this we need lessons? Go practice some more!"

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scrrr
I like this post on HN. Because of the content, thanks for sharing that, but
also because I think it is important to think about death. For many reasons.

My condolences to you, edw519.

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mechanical_fish
My condolences, Ed. Your mom sounds like an awesome person.

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mcenedella
Oh, Ed. I am so sorry to hear this.

Welcome to the very unfortunate club of those of us who have lost a parent. It
will always hurt, and it never goes away, but you do come to be at peace with
it over time.

I am really thinking about you and this wonderful tribute you've written for
your lovely mother right now. You've done something beautiful and she is so
proud of you.

My advice at this time is to fully allow yourself to mourn. It's OK. Only you
can experience your mourning and it may be the same or it may be different
from how other people experience it, but just remember that only you can
experience your mourning in the way you need to.

And that is totally cool because you are a beautiful piece of your Mom that is
here right now.

Plus... Betty would've wanted it that way.

My sorrows are with you / Marc

------
smoyer
Wow ... I hope my kids feel that way about me when I leave this world. I know
you'll miss her physical presence, but I get the sense that you carry so much
of her with you that you'll never feel that she's left you.

But I'll add my condolences for that physical loss.

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rglover
What an excellent way to remember your mom. She sounds like a great woman and
I can tell she'll be greatly missed. Thank you for sharing this with everyone.

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startupcomment
My deepest condolences to you and your family. Thanks for sharing such a
heart-felt and moving tribute. She seemed like a model parent and a wonderful
person to spend time with. Many lessons for us all to learn from. I know from
my own experience that much benefit can be derived from writing about our
deceased loved ones. I plan to save your blog post among other files in my
"inspirational" folder.

------
nasmorn
I sometimes like to think I could cope well with losing my mom now that I am
married and have a child but in reality it scares the shit out of me.

My condolences to you

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yesbabyyes
My condolences to you, Ed. Now I have a clue to why you always come across as
such a wise man in your posts.

I am so lucky that I still have both my loving parents, but I have experienced
the loss of loved ones. I find solace in knowing that while they can't make
new decisions, their light cone will keep shining in eternity, so they will
always be a part of the world.

------
pstuart
You are a lucky man to have such a wonderful mother, and to realize it as
well. We are equally lucky because she did a great job with you and all of HN
has benefited greatly from your contributions.

I've taken note of what she has told you and will try do do my best to absorb
and apply it to my own children.

Peace to you and your family.

------
maaku
My condolences; I am sorry for your loss.

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dlevine
My condolences on your loss. Losing a parent is hard - I lost my father almost
two years ago, and I still think about him almost every day. Hopefully the
happy memories of her will help you to get through the tough times.

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Omnipresent
Sorry for your loss. I hope Sharing this among your community will ease the
pain.

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johnnyg
That was a lovely blog post and I've upvoted you with my humble amount of
karma. I am sorry for your loss, but hey, you had a lot of good time and
clearly spent it well.

------
rbanffy
My most sincere condolences. There is nothing that can be said in the face of
such loss.

We all face it one day or another. It never gets better, but we get used to it
and we move on.

------
runjake
I obviously don't know you or your mother, but I enjoy your writings and it's
now obvious she played a big part in building you, so my condolences.

------
joshuacc
Requiescat in pace.

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ajju
She had to have been a really wonderful person to have raised a son who is
such a nice human being. My condolences Ed.

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thehodge
That was simply beautiful, I hope when I have kids mate, I inspire that in
them... bookmarked for future reference..

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Vivtek
Excuse me, I have something in my eye.

Lovely writing, as always, Ed, and I think she probably would have smiled for
this one.

------
bane
Deepest condolences.

"Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.",
William Makepeace Thackeray.

------
wgrover
Nice lessons here for parents. Thanks for sharing and my heartfelt sympathies
for your loss.

------
rediah
Thank you for sharing this. My condolences to you and to all whose mothers
have passed away.

------
Mithrandir
I'm sorry for your loss. May she be always remember by the ones who loved her
dearly.

------
grosales
My most sincere condolences. May the inspiration she instilled in you be
eternal.

------
kirubakaran
I am sorry for your loss, Ed.

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raju
My condolences Ed. She sounds like a terrific person, and a great inspiration.

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gommm
Sorry for your loss Ed, that was beautiful and sad writing. My condolences.

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hurt
That's a wonderful if very sad blog post. I'm sorry for your loss Ed.

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spinchange
Your mom sounds really remarkable. I want to share my condolences.

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edanm
edw519, my condolences.

You're one of the most interesting and inspiring people on Hacker News. I'm
sure I speak for many other when I say Thank You for all you've done here.

------
mleonhard
I'm sorry for your loss. I went through this last year.

------
zafka
I am sorry for your loss. She lives on through you.

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simplegeek
Beautiful writing. I'm really sorry for your loss!

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TeMPOraL
My sincere and deepest condolences, Ed.

Thank you for sharing this.

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hernan7
My condolences Ed.

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TheSmoke
mothers, in my belief, are the most beautiful, most precious creations. i felt
your mourning in my heart. my condolences.

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d99kris
My condolences, sorry for your loss.

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david927
My deepest condolences, Ed.

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redouane
my condolences ed, words seem inadequate to express the sadness we feel.

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calloc
My sincerest condolences.

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kfalter
Ed... I don't know you, but as another hard working person, I can honestly say
that your post has reminded me of what is important in life. It's those that
love me who support my hard work and sometimes reclusiveness/introverted-ness.

Thank you for posting this. Your mother's story has had a compounded effect
with your post. Her legacy lives on, and this is just one way: inspiring
others on HN to cherish those who love them, which she obviously did with you.

Thanks, and I am sorry for your loss.

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freemarketteddy
This post made me call my mom after about a month!...Really sorry for your
loss man!

