

Inlu.st - new dating startup - tibbon
http://inlu.st/about

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acangiano
> she was known among her friends for her ability to meet guys online.

No offense, Julia, but that's not much of an ability if you are a woman.

~~~
marquis
Online dating is harder than you think for women also. If you stick with the
mainstream sites you lose interest VERY quickly with the unwelcome attention.
So if Julia has spent a lot of time and energy in this area she'll be an
expert in how to create a site that works, and keeps women interested. This is
a prime example where we need more women in tech - to build these subtle tools
with direct insight for the target market.

~~~
tibbon
Right on. Its not hard to meet random people, but its very hard to meet
awesome people that you actually feel like spending time around.

~~~
sfphotoarts
that's because 'online' doesn't do much selective filtering. Lets say you go
the symphony (of the orchestral type, not the framework) and meet some boys.
You are _selecting_ , let's say you go a coffee shop in the Mission, or Lower
Haight, again you are selecting. Sitting in Dolores park on a sunny sunday
afternoon automatically selects certain demographics. When you look for boys
or girls online you use primitive criteria for selection which results in poor
matching. Facebook is a much better dating site because groups are more
organic, formed by real people coming together around common values.

I am rather surprised that Julia has any problems meeting boys, I'm sure she
could just sit in a coffee shop in the Mission with a laptop (preferably with
a few stickers, including the obligatory CC) and be approached by decent young
men all day.

~~~
marquis
>be approached by decent young men all day

I wish! I am in cafe right now surrounded by decent young men and all we do is
glance at each other's laptops and smartphones.

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omarchowdhury
So why don't you approach?

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marquis
Oh, believe me I have done. It got tiring being the instigator and I made a
promise to myself to let the guys do the approaching for a while. (Someone did
and now we're in a happy relationship).

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juliamae
I'm the founder of the site, and just want to point out that the submitter
submitted the about page, which is not at all supposed to be the focus of the
site. Please click the logo for the front page.

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tomjen3
When I see something like this, I have to ask:

Whats different about inlu.st and match.com/chemistry.com/$datingSite?

And how are you going to attract users (especially female users, because the
men go where the females go)? There is really nothing sadder than an empty
dating site.

~~~
juliamae
while i'm not ready to get into the details of what sets us apart, i wrote a
bit here <http://blog.inlu.st/post/3198840889/introducing-inlust> divulging
the reason for the site and spirit behind it.

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thetrumanshow
I prognosticate that inlu.st will have an easy time attracting at least one of
the two sexes as users.

Now, which one will that be? Hmmm..

~~~
juliamae
hi, i'm the founder of this site and am actually quite curious what you mean
by this. do you think the feminine design will scare men away? or do you think
the name will scare women away?

~~~
thetrumanshow
It will aways be harder to attract/keep women on a dating site than it will be
to attract/keep men. That is why almost ALL advertising for dating sites on TV
is targeted at women, IMO.

Further, if you start with a domain like inlu.st, you are eliminating the % of
women that actually care about long term relationships over one night stands.
That is a very large %.

Just my opinion. I have no data for you.

~~~
juliamae
Ah yes. I'm not particularly going after LTR-seekers right now. Of course,
this might change in time, and I suspect the name might have to change in that
case.

~~~
LaGrange
Why not specialized frontends on a common backend? Common accounts for
"inlu.st" and "solone.ly" or something, but with ability for
activating/deactivating visibility on some domains.

I think that both the and community requirements can be very different for
casual contact and ltrs, but there will be some natural mobility between
those.

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DotSauce
I love the concept, but I would consider re-branding before you launch. This
domain name and the keyword 'lust' has a negative connotation as related to
relationships. At first glance, the site will be perceived as another "hook
up" social network. After reading your site, I don't believe that is your
primary aim. Also, a domain hack isn't user-friendly.

Consider a creative two-word .Com domain. If you need assistance or available
domain suggestions, please feel free to get in touch.

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theDoug
> cultivating a community where next-level singles can connect intellectually,
> emotionally, and physically.

What differentiates a single person from a next-level single person? Or a date
from a next-level date (I'm seeing a lot of 'next-level' throughout body
copy). Barring a pre-selection/approval process for users, I'm assuming all
people will be equally able to sign up and take part in the website, making
the pool as "current level" as other dating sites.

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iterationx
Edit: that's not the homepage.

Since I recently saw "The Social Network", its got me thinking that what
dating sites are missing is exclusivity... isn't that why Facebook took off?
...because you were guaranteed that the members went to Harvard? Maybe a
similar approach with dating sites is worth trying.

~~~
juliamae
that's not the home page. you are looking at the about page. click the logo.

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weeksie
Interesting, you guys could be a competitor for us, but I can't quite tell
yet. In lust implies a strong sex focus but the phrasing on the site indicates
dating. I'm curious to see where you guys end up going with this.

<http://www.heyfoxy.com>

~~~
juliamae
cool, i haven't heard of heyfoxy, but i love the image on the front page. i'll
check it out. there is a focus on sexuality, but it is not a hookup site
anymore than reddit or tumblr are hookup sites. i don't see us as competitors,
i see us as friends!

~~~
weeksie
Awesome, I'm really excited to see what you guys come up with. Also, I'd
definitely be interested in trading some guest blog posts at some point. On
the off chance that you're NYC based as well we should totally grab drinks and
talk shop sometime.

And the pic on the front is my girl and I. Glad you like it :)

~~~
silverlake
Will I need abs like yours to sign up for the site? Mine are bit more...
spongy.

~~~
weeksie
Ha! No, there's no ab requirement ;)

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d0m
I find listing John Resig as ex-boyfriend kinda cool for a geek girl. I wish I
could list Julia West as an ex-girlfriend for my next startup :) Would it kind
of make me and Resig related? (Transitively speaking
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transitive_relation>)

Anyhow, the website seems promising and I'm looking forward to see the
"killer" feature that would make it different from other dating sites.

As a side note, I had an original idea for matching people that could be used
for facebook. I talked about it with friends and they pretty much like it. So,
if you're interested just get in touch with me and I will tell you.

~~~
tibbon
The transitive relationship questions do make for some interesting
conversations in dating. Things get even worse (or better?) when your
social/dating network is really tight.

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tomh-
From reading the intro text, this is not for people looking for serious
relations (you shouldn't be looking for a soulmate). This is just for meeting
new people and one-night stands? What problem does it solve and how?

~~~
tibbon
The same one that Grindr and ManHunt do in the gay community. Finding people
who aren't looking for a LTR can be tricky among heterosexuals.

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maxdemarzi
"Secret email"?

Is meant to be a "cheating" dating site or regular?

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juliamae
definitely not a cheating site. 'secret' was just supposed to mean i'm not
gonna give it away.

~~~
tibbon
I was slightly confused by myself with this too. I'd put a star beside email
instead and put *we keep your email secret. For a moment it made me wonder if
the email address would be listed to the public or something non-anonymous.

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xpaulbettsx
So, what makes this site stand apart from its competitors?

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maxdemarzi
Not to thread high jack, but people are already asking how are you going to be
different than the thousand other dating sites?

My Dating Site Idea:

A marriage between boutique clothing stores with a dating platform.

Make a list of the top 20 boutique stores in your city. Talk to the owners
until you find a receptive audience. Try to get some male fashion stores as
well.

You can coerce people at the stores with discounts to register to get it
started (just need a camera and a laptop, good lighting, and a backdrop with
logo on it).

Validated Profiles (aka. Real People) - Must try on/buy an outfit from the
store and wear it on the photo to be able to use all of features of the site
(look but don't touch model).

The pictures are tagged with the store and outfits that were purchased, so I
can look at your profile and buy your outfit (or part of it).

It's kind of exclusive (no ugly people... well no ugly clothes anyway) and you
can make money selling clothes.

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amccloud
I love (er.. lust) the name. Any reason why you're not collecting email
addresses? Having an email list you can blast out to on launch day will help
you reach critical mass quicker, avoiding the chicken and egg issue all
together.

~~~
juliamae
i am collecting them on the front page, so please put your email address there
:) the submitter submitted the about page.

~~~
marquis
Hi, it's not intuitive to know to click on the logo to go back. Maybe you
could add a link at the top saying something like 'Click here to go to front
page and submit your email for early access'. Another girl here - though I'm
in a relationship it's an interesting problem to solve and I'm curious to see
what you've come up with.

~~~
juliamae
i think that if you entered the site on the homepage, as intended, and then
went to the about page, it would be pretty obv how to get back.

thanks for your comments on this thread! you seem to understand the female
online dating problem as i do, and it's nice to have another female backing me
up on here.

~~~
marquis
Hey, you're welcome. If you're coming from a background similar to mine (which
it seems from the info on your blog), you're part of your own sub-culture that
is reflective of your target market so I'm sure you're getting great feedback
from other sources.

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izaidi
Tiny design thing: your background image doesn't match the background color.
Seems to be a color profile issue. Doing a "Save for Web" in Photoshop should
fix it.

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macov
Inlu.st...

In Luv? Insult? Oh! In lust!

~~~
juliamae
personally, i'm a fan of in slut.

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ZeroMinx
The about page states "dating in new york city" in the title, is it only for
NYC (initially)?

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jdp23
The page looks great, and I really like the way it tells the stories of how
the founders met.

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ladon86
That's a great tech dating resumé!

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jmtame
is this an application? what is this?

~~~
CarlSmotricz
To get to the (pre-) application, you have to click on "InLust" at the top
left. It admittedly took me a few moments to discover this, it wasn't very
obvious.

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oleg-d
the name is pretty bad...

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alnayyir
I'm male and not all that traditional, but the name is _very_ conspicuous. I
can only imagine the name making it even harder than usual to attract women.

The commentary about her personal life is...awkward.

Neat as it is that she dated the patron saint of modern JavaScript, I don't
think that's going to help me get a date.

The geek content just makes me even more skeptical about bringing women and
keeping them engaged, if it's any indicator of the greater aesthetic to the
site.

That said, I hope it goes great and I wish you the best of luck. The world
needs better dating sites.

Cheers.

~~~
marquis
>The commentary about her personal life is...awkward.

I disagree. As a woman who has previously dated via many online/offline means
it's refreshing to see an honesty from a real woman about a topic that has too
long been dominated by the 'let's get you married' dating sites (okcupid
aside). If I were dating I'd be happy to invest some time in the site to see
how it works.

~~~
alnayyir
You're an outlier that is comfortable with the internet and open to connecting
with a company at a personal level.

Most people seek a professional, stable, and safe image in a company they're
going to share their personal details with. Misplaced commentary about the
founder's personal life is one of those 'split' decisions where it'll make
5-10% of women love her, and the other 90%++ will get scared off.

Like OKCupid, I'm sure she'll have a passionate userbase if she continues to
be personable and connect with people, but the awkwardness and lack of women
will drive many away.

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rorrr
How will you compete with okcupid, plentyoffish, match, chemistry, eharmony,
adultfriendfinder, lavalife, perfectmatch, jdate, ashleymadison, wealthymen,
mate1, singlesnet, date.com, americansingles, passion.com, singles.com and a
million other dating sites?

