

Crushed Dreams and College Decisions - jellyksong
http://throwww.com/a/758

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maverick2007
Funny this got posted. These same thoughts have been passing through my mind
for the past few days. I'm also a senior and have been getting decision
letters over the past few months. I also got accepted to many great schools
but the best ones (my dream schools) sent me that same letter.

The same feeling is also present for me. After years of taking a very hard
class load and working hard on college applications, it is heart crushing to
get that letter telling you that you aren't good enough. It's funny that they
always make sure to say 'We had so many good applicants that we had to reject
many quality applicants' but it just feels like I'm not good enough.

I know I'm using that feeling as motivation in the future to push myself
harder than other students from more elite schools to prove to them, and to
myself really, that I am good enough. It's a tough feeling to get over but
it'll get better, I know it.

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jellyksong
_Server is down, full text:_

As the arrival of decision letters starts to taper off, most of my friends
have a good idea of where they're going next year. Some were lucky enough to
have gotten into their dream schools, others were accepted by a slew of
equally amazing colleges (though perhaps not their first choice), and a few
were rejected to all but a handful of great schools. We should all 'be happy',
our friends, family, and counselors tell us; the hardest part of senior year
is over and now remains the _best_ months of high school. But 'great' is a
very subjective word and some people are inevitably disappointed. I'm not
discounting any of the students who got into their top choices: I believe that
they're all deserve it 100%, but I'm sad that my top choices don't feel the
same about me.

Yes, I did get into a couple of great schools, and I am truly honored and
grateful to be accepted by them. But at the same time, I am utterly
heartbroken that after years of pushing myself to excel academically and
pouring my heart into the application essays, the response is still: 'Dear
[x], I am very sorry to let you know that we are unable to offer you admission
to [x]'. And I feel so, so guilty for feeling like this, as if I'm jilting my
accepted schools and betraying my friends who try to cheer me up.

There's also regret. Maybe I should've written about different topics, maybe I
should've applied to more schools, maybe I should've gotten more/other
recommendations. And while it's very appealing to just blame the system for my
failures (ahem _College Confidential_ ), I know that it's really no one's
fault but my own. So there's an unhealthy amount of anger, bitterness, and
disappointment directed at myself right now. Summed together, all of this is
strangely numbing and emotionally exhausting.

But there is always some hope, even if we do have to trudge through this
unpleasantness. It's quite honestly pointless to continue feeling this bad.
Rejection and failure is a part of life, and even though my lifelong dreams
were crushed over the course of two days, I have to accept that and find new
ones. I know that I will eventually be happy and successful at a school that
accepts me, despite all the inevitable sad laughter in the coming days.

Now I just need to believe that.

