
Things I Should Have Known at 20 - pkapur86
http://inoveryourhead.net/
======
rauljara
The list is all phrased as commands. I can't stand that. There is no one way
through life, and I wish people didn't act like just because it worked for
them it will work for everyone.

Find people that are cooler than you and try to be even cooler than them seems
like a particularly terrible command to give in general. So many of the people
I admire the most just don't care so much about image. And I've met too many
people who've exposed their own shallow foolishness trying too hard to be
cool.

If it worked for the author, fine. And I'm sure there exist people for whom
that is actually all right advice. But life is full of edge cases and
exceptions, and no one should act like their life should be the prototype for
everyone else's.

~~~
orangecat
Agreed. I find myself increasingly annoyed by the tone of people who have
discovered that the Great Secret of Life is having kids/getting up at
5AM/exercising for hours every day/eating nothing but meat and vegetables, and
if you don't do that you're a pathetic specimen who will never amount to
anything.

~~~
jwwest
I'm curious to know if anyone who doesn't feel like they might be successful
doing something someone else points out as a good practice has actually TRIED
doing it.

If you've tried something and it didn't work out, write up a rebuttal and post
it! Personally I'm a little dismayed at the negativity surrounding these posts
when it's obvious that everyone is armchair quarterbacking here.

~~~
wpietri
But posts like this are armchair quarterbacking everybody else's lives. If the
guy phrased these purely as personal lessons and talked some about how he
learned them, he would be much less grating.

What really kills me is his bio. "Hi, I’m Julien Smith.I help people lead more
productive, awesome lives— one day at a time. This is my blog. If you like it,
please subscribe below."

For me that might as well read: "Hi! I'm an overconfident asshole who gets off
on telling people I've never met how they should be awesome exactly like me.
And I get paid for it! Please let me manipulate you into buying my stuff."

~~~
ahoyhere
So you kept reading it why?

You're armchair quarterbacking -- the OP isn't.

You're commenting on his actual web site, telling everybody how it should be.
That is armchair quarterbacking.

He wrote a blog post for a general audience. It wasn't about _you_. It didn't
describe specifics of _your_ life. It didn't question _your_ judgment.

~~~
wpietri
I'm not telling him what to do. He's welcome to carry on being a huckster. But
I'm allowed to critique his writing and his business model, just like
everybody else.

------
tensor
Number two is flat out wrong. The majority of knowledge that you need to know
is not bleeding edge and does not become outdated by the time a curriculum is
formed. In fact, you can't even understand the bleeding edge research without
first understanding what came before it.

If by institutions, we are talking about universities, then they are one of
the best places to access vast amounts of information and experts on different
domains that you'll ever find. Most of us are just too young to realize it and
don't care enough about learning to make use of those resources.

Hell, we see article after article here on hacker news about how horrible it
is that science papers are so often paywalled. Yet nearly everyone went
through university during which time they probably had free access to nearly
every single relevant english science article on earth.

Perhaps if people bothered to learn a fraction of what is available in just
the computer science or engineering departments of their university we
wouldn't see the same old 50 year old technologies being reinvented again and
again. Hey look! It's event driven frameworks again! The next greatest thing
that's 50 years old!

The only part of point two I like is to not have faith. Never have faith in
anything. Always observe, reason, and experiment.

~~~
eli_gottlieb
_The only part of point two I like is to not have faith. Never have faith in
anything. Always observe, reason, and experiment._

That seems wrong. Without believing in both yourself and in something beyond
yourself (it doesn't necessarily have to be physically real), there's little
point in observing, reasoning, or experimenting.

Expertise in epistemology doesn't help much if you've got no normative
philosophies for applying it.

~~~
sjwright
What do you mean by "believing in yourself"? I'm pretty sure I exist, indeed
it would be a logical conundrum to think otherwise. Belief doesn't figure
here.

What else should I believe in?

I don't _believe_ that gravity is real, I just operate my life on the
assumption that it exists and is predictable. It's working great so far.

I don't _believe_ climate change is real, but I accept the evidence provided,
and will continue to do so until such time as I'm provided with further
evidence to consider.

I don't _believe_ my mother loves me, I'm quite satisfied that she does. I
have enough evidence.

~~~
eli_gottlieb
Ah, so you define the word "to believe" as "to have blind faith in", rather
than "to estimate a very large probability with high confidence that a
proposition is true."

------
raldi
#21: Floating navbars are an abomination and make your site incredibly
frustrating to read on a mobile device -- especially in landscape mode. At
least put an X button on that thing.

~~~
dfc
#21(b) X buttons will not save a floating navbar with a "digital clock font."

~~~
jarek
Fun fact: the technical term is "seven-segment display character
representations."

~~~
raldi
Even when there are clearly more than seven segments?

~~~
jarek
You're right, this one has nine, I didn't look very closely. I guess you could
still call them SSD-like...

------
SkyMarshal
I thought this was going to be BS, as I do all numbered lists [1], but it's
actually pretty good. Here's a TLDR, but the elaborations on each point are
worth reading:

1\. The world is trying to keep you stupid.

2\. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you.

3\. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention.

4\. Connect with everyone, all the time.

5\. Don’t waste time being shy.

6\. If you feel weird about something during a relationship, that’s usually
what you end up breaking up over.

7\. Have as much contact as possible with older people.

8\. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too.

9\. You will become more conservative over time. For this reason, you need to
do your craziest stuff NOW.

10\. Reduce all expenses as much as possible.

11\. Instead of getting status through objects (which provide only temporary
boosts), do it through experiences.

12\. While you are living on the cheap, solve the money problem.

13\. Learn to program.

14\. Get a six-pack (or get thin, whatever your goal is) while you are young.

15\. Learn to cook

16\. Sleep well

17\. Get a reminder app for everything

18\. Choose something huge to do

19\. Get known for one thing.

20\. Don’t try to “fix” anyone.

[1] Change the title to "Things I Should Have Known at 20"
<http://ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html>

~~~
rimantas

      > 1. The world is trying to keep you stupid.
    

No it doesn't. Quite the opposite. While the idea that less educated are
easier to manipulate is true the item on the list says expresses a different
idea.

    
    
      > 2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you.
    

You can only educate yourself. However institutions can help a lot. As for
outdated curriculum: guess how old Newtonian physics and calculus is. Now
think how many still have problem grasping these.

    
    
      > 3. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention.
    

Agree with the first part. The second part is oxymoron.

    
    
      > 4. Connect with everyone, all the time.
    

Bullshit.

    
    
      > 5. Don’t waste time being shy.
    

Bullshit.

    
    
      > 6. If you feel weird about something during a relationship, that’s usually what you end up breaking up over.
    

Ok.

    
    
      > 7. Have as much contact as possible with older people.
    

Why?

    
    
      > 8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too.
    

Why?

    
    
      > 9. You will become more conservative over time. For this reason, you need to do your craziest stuff NOW.
    

Why? Do I need to do the crazy stuff at all? Also, not sure about the whole
getting more conservative thing.

    
    
      > 10. Reduce all expenses as much as possible.
    

Ok.

    
    
      > 11. Instead of getting status through objects (which provide only temporary boosts), do it through experiences.
    

Whatever.

    
    
      > 12. While you are living on the cheap, solve the money problem.
    

Whatever.

    
    
      > 13. Learn to program.
    

Why? Why program, not plumbing? I think people to often conflate programming
and reasoning skill.

    
    
      > 14. Get a six-pack (or get thin, whatever your goal is) while you are young.
    

How about not getting fat?

    
    
      >15. Learn to cook
      

Ok

    
    
      > 16. Sleep well
    

Ok

    
    
      > 17. Get a reminder app for everything
    

Bullshit.

    
    
      > 18. Choose something huge to do
    

Ok

    
    
      > 19. Get known for one thing.
    

Whatever.

    
    
      > 20. Don’t try to “fix” anyone.
    

Mostly true. But you can be a good help for someone who really tries to
change.

My addition: don't make shallow lists like this.

~~~
rehack
_> 1\. The world is trying to keep you stupid.

No it doesn't. Quite the opposite. While the idea that less educated are
easier to manipulate is true the item on the list says expresses a different
idea._

He is actually right, in several ways. For example, how do you find the
average joke posted by a friend on Facebook? Also TV is called the idiot box
for a reason. And its not easy to break the addictive traps. And this is just
one way.

Similarly if one _thinks_ there is a lot of weight in other points as well.
But of course one has to interpret them in one's own context.

~~~
watmough
I just started watching CCTV (Chinese State TV in English - Broadcasting
locally from 'Cornroe' Texas), and the contrast with ABC/NBC/CBS etc., is
amazing.

Actually foreign news, not just US forces adventures, and human interest.

Do yourself a favor and watch at least source of foreign news, such as the
BBC, CCTV, CNN Intl, Al Jazeera etc.

------
pg
Any book worth reading is worth reading slowly.

~~~
yelsgib
What's the slowest book you've read?

~~~
pg
There are several different types of reading slowly.

Math is slow because you have to work things out as you read it.

Books written very long ago are slow because I read them like a detective,
looking not just at what the author means to say, but also at what he's saying
implicitly about how things were at the time.

Other books I read slowly because they're so good I don't want them to end. I
used to have to make a conscious effort to make Patrick O'Brian novels last,
and I stopped reading them at about number 12, to save the rest for later. (I
worry though that I wouldn't like them so much now.)

~~~
timclark
They keep going with the same level of quality until the very end. Even the
three draft chapters of the unfinished 21st volume left me wanting more.

~~~
r7000
Agreed. I read them as slowly as I could manage over the course of about five
years. Even 21 was a great read. I was blown away that I was still maintaining
the same enjoyment 15, 16 books in. I just assumed the quality would have had
to deteriorate. Although O'Brian does get a lot of reuse out of Stephen's joke
about the dog watch being cur-tailed.

I wish I still had eight and a half more to go!

------
a_bonobo
I'm not a fan of speed reading.

In my experience, "gulping down" a book instead of "savouring" it leads to a
rough comprehension of what the book is trying to tell you, so if someone asks
you'll be able to give a brief summary.

But if you take your time (with a pencil) you'll be able to actually follow
the person's trail of thought that went into writing what you're reading,
ultimately helping you in making similar conclusions in differing areas, which
is at least why I read: To broaden my own horizon, not to parrot-like mimic
what other people think.

Also: >Don’t try to “fix” anyone. Instead, look for someone who isn’t broken.

Not sure about this one either - having had a few relationships from that
department I know that I learned a lot about people in general and had amazing
experiences, something which I couldn't have learned from a relationship with
a person who's "normal". Of course ultimately, it's not worth it in the long
run.

~~~
dredmorbius
On "fixing": ultimately, people don't get fixed. My experience is that they
tend to become more of who they are with age. Looking back over people I've
known for three and going on four decades, it's amazing how early the
fundamentals of personality are laid down, though there can be substantial
changes especially during adolescence and early adulthood. Past that,
traumatic experiences (war, violence, drugs, abuse) can literally leave brain
(and emotional) scars.

There's a huge difference between enjoying the eccentricities of someone, and
trying to change/fix them. There's a large class of eccentrics who are very
interesting/entertaining if you keep them at a modest distance, though they
can be explosive or toxic/harmful if you get them too close.

The corollary is, of course, you're broken too to many people. The key is
finding someone who's no more or less broken than you.

------
shin_lao
These lists always miss the point.

For example, the list is most likely right about sleep. However, if you're not
sleeping enough you'll most likely say "It's ok man, it's under control".

Only when experiencing personally the damages of sleep deprivation you'll say
"I should sleep more". Not because you read it on a list or your friend tells
you.

As for six packs, yes, it's important, because it will insulate you from 95%
of back pain. But who's going to do stomach crunches after reading such list?

Céline said it better than me: Experience is a lantern that lights only the
carrier (L'expérience est une lanterne qui n'éclaire que celui qui la porte).

~~~
nazgulnarsil
crunches have nothing to do with a six pack. follow the link he provided.

~~~
shin_lao
It's a bit OOT, but, allow me to retort.

I'm not a big fan of intermittent fasting or any 'program' for that matter.

What I'd like to say, from personal experience, is that nothing beats a
balanced diet and regular exercise. No program, no "method". Just an old
fashioned healthy life.

And sorry, but if you want a six packs, at some point, you'll have to sweat
for it.

~~~
StavrosK
Nobody said you don't have to sweat for it. I'm currently in the process of
getting one, and I do no crunches (although I'm sure they help). Also, a
sixpack has nothing to do with fitness (other than that you incidentally get
fit). It's purely for aesthetic reasons.

Me, I was working out anyway, so I figured I'd lose the fat to look lean as
well.

------
fumar
It is a pretty solid list.

I am 25 and these are things that would have helped me at 20.

I am trying to accomplish some of these now.

3\. I used to read a book per week. I stopped and now I need to get back.

9\. I never thought I would be a conservative person. I see the difference
between my younger cousins and I.

10\. I am jobless. I definitely am trying to eliminate costs.

13\. I started taking Udacity classes. I have a business degree. It has been
harder than I imagined. I still am motivated to learn more languages besides
python.

14\. I go to the gym six days per week. I ride my bike everywhere I go.

20\. A very simple statement. That is very true.

~~~
prophetjohn
13) A word of advice based on what I perceive your experience level to be:
focus more on _really_ learning Python than amassing a list of languages with
whose syntax you are familiar. Once you master Python, then Java, Ruby, etc.
will be easy to learn. Employers understand this. The ones you want to work
for, at least.

~~~
richardlblair
Agreed.

Too many people who are new to programming assume they need to learn all the
languages. What you really need to learn is the theory behind each lesson.
When learning loops don't think "so this is how you do a loop", rather think
about why you are looping, when, and what types of loops there are.

All the languages (listed above) have looping mechanisms, and you will use
them for the same reasons you did in python. You will know when to use loops,
and then you can just look up the syntax for the language you are currently
in.

------
dfc
I think #8 is silly at best. I'm not even sure I know what is meant by
"cooler," but whatever the definition the statement does not seem like sage
advice from an elder. I am 32 now; I got over thinking about who was cool and
who was not when I was 15.

I would add something about not burning bridges.

~~~
crusso
Far from silly. The characteristics he mentioned on this one: (by doing cooler
things, being more laid back, accepting, ambitious, etc.)

Those are mostly about developing the characteristics of a leader -- someone
others admire and want to follow.

~~~
dfc
How many adults talk about Alice being cooler than Bob? Furthermore ambitious
and laid back?

    
    
      am·bi·tious (adjective)
        1. Having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed.
        2. Intended to satisfy high aspirations and therefore difficult to achieve.
    
      laid back (adjective)
        1. Relaxed or unhurried.
        2. Free from stress; easygoing; carefree.

~~~
crusso
That apparent contradiction is really what makes cool so hard. It's not just
about being amped up at 10 or being a bump on the log at 0. It's about being a
10 at where you're going while you make it look like you're at 0. You kick
ass, but you make it look like it's easy and you're not trying.

One of the best entrepreneurs I've ever worked with had that quality. The guy
was focused like a laser on where he was going, but I never saw him get upset
or look like he wasn't in control of himself and the given situation. He
exuded "cool" and he attracted people like a magnet.

~~~
dfc
I guess one of the reasons that being a "cool kid" does not appeal to me is
that I'm not as interested in appearances/image.

~~~
Cd00d
Can't one be cool without being concerned about appearance?

I think coolness is about how one responds to situations, esp those
unexpected.

Think about how people talk to gate agents when their flight gets cancelled.
Those that are reasonable and rational are cool (as in cool headed). Those
that yell are not. They also tend to get more of what they desire while not
making enemies.

The definition of cool should not be stuck in a 15 year old's perspective of
jocks vs. nerds.

------
gatsby
Previous discussion: <http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4036058>

------
duckduckgouser
This article is obviously written by someone (at least mentally) under the age
of 35. Always try to be cooler and more accepting than others? WTF. I gave
that up years ago. There too much to deal with in life without worrying about
what is cool.

~~~
nzealand
I started to write a similar list out for my son to read later on in life. It
was mostly bullshit. I like his comment about relationships however.

~~~
CamperBob2
My parents indoctrinated me with Kipling's "If." It's certainly as good a list
as this one, for better or worse.

------
yason
The thing I knew when I was 20 is to take everything with a grain of salt and
think it through yourself and refit the lesson in your life. What's true in
someone else's life often isn't true in your life. I knew it but I just didn't
believe it.

As an adult, I know that's more true than ever and I'm able to believe it, yet
only partially. I'm working on it.

When you think things yourself then you're not bound by the limits that other
people before you have set. You don't need to be bound by "what's true and
what's right": you can rediscover your own life in a very different setting.
But it's a courageous path and I'm not always so courageous. I'm working on
it.

------
jlarocco
Interesting list, but the presentation and layout is terrible.

Limiting the size of the page horizontally improves readability.

Limiting the size of the page vertically is just annoying.

------
swalsh
If I could go back to when I was 20, i'd have myself memorize this:

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_(psychology)>

Would have saved me 3 agonizing years.

~~~
planetguy
I'd memorize:

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cnidaria>

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlamydia>

and

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_streets_in_Baltimore,_M...](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_streets_in_Baltimore,_Maryland)

~~~
noname123
At a tender age of 20, were you sir a Johns Hopkins Biology student faced with
an essay question in a final exam about the types of reproduction in the
Cnidaria phylum?

But after the exam and with nothing further to lose, you tried to get to The
Block to escape the nonsensical world of jellyfish sex for something more
practical; however, lacking directions ended up in a even sketchier part of
town and during some ensuing endeavors, caught the claps? And finally
experiencing natural selection yourself.

Only way one'd memorize those three things.

------
alanh
This isn’t a permalink, and it took me forever to find one (neither title nor
date are permalinks? conventions mean nothing?)

Submission URL should be changed to: [http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-
should-have-known-at-2...](http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-
known-at-20/)

------
squidpie
This list highlights the one lesson I see repeated in almost all advice about
life: "Be an Extrovert, and if you aren't, act like one."

~~~
MPSimmons
Exactly. Fake it till you make it.

------
DigitalSea
The only way to succeed in life is to fail. This article reads like it is a
definite list of commands and rules to abide by for a great life forgoing the
fact that no two lives are the same. There are a few good tid-bits of info in
this article, but if there is one thing in life you should know it's you will
fail and thinking that learning from the mistakes of others will safeguard you
from failure is a sure fire way of being doomed to a life of failure.

~~~
jakejake
That is true advice and you can actually accomplish a lot by adjusting your
attitude about failure. I personally try to consider something a success as
long as I attempt it - regardless of the actual outcome. If I don't even try,
that is failure to me. If I try and it doesn't work - that's still a success
because I made an attempt and most likely learned something along the way.

------
sentinel
An old man once told me I shouldn't follow anyone's advice and just figure
shit out for myself in life. I wasn't sure what to do...

------
SquareWheel
"Shyness is the belief that your emotions should be the arbitrators of your
decision making process when the opposite is actually true."

This is the very opposite of how I've been trying to live my life. I do not
know what to think of that.

~~~
javert
That's interesting. What do you mean? How have you been trying to live your
life?

~~~
SquareWheel
Well, I've always considered emotional decisions to be poorer than decisions
made with logic.

Say if you're considering buying a new thing, is it just an impulsion to get
the endorphin rush, or logically do you need that item?

Or maybe it's a moral question. You're 20. A friend's cute sister wants to
have a beer with you. Logically you can see where it could lead and the
negative impact it will have on your friend and yours relationship. On the
other hand, you're getting all sorts of cues from your emotions to go for it.
That's evolution for you, we're wired that way. So these two things are at two
very opposite ends of the spectrum.

I've considered logical decision making to be a superior route for some time,
and I thought that was somewhat well accepted. To hear the opposite just kind
of threw me.

~~~
javert
Personally, I agree with you, here, and that has always been my policy.

It seems to me like the author of the article agrees, too, though. I think
he's saying that shyness comes from putting your emotions first, and I assume
he thinks shyness is a bad thing.

~~~
SquareWheel
You know, I think I read the quote wrong. As I read it back I think I agree.
Whoops!

------
DodgyEggplant
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance (Dave Barry)

~~~
bluekeybox
The thing is also, if you never get up, you'll never learn.

------
ricardobeat
I think it's a pretty decent list. Can't understand all the negativity.

------
pippy
This is a fantastic list, though I have to nitpick on this one:

>2\. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you

Except if you learn the fundamentals, instead of the specifics. Learn
paradigms and methodologies, instead of individual systems and practices. This
way as time goes on you've always got something to fall back on.

~~~
esusatyo
I think he was referring to the general idea of fully trusting something to
educate you. People make mistakes, including those who are teaching you. I
think what he meant is that we also need to do our homework and do our own
research from time to time.

------
jcfrei
I upvoted this post. however the author would do well in further explaining or
expanding his pieces of advice. a lot of them are true in a specific setting,
or for special occasions - they are to my understanding - not generalizable
directions for your life.

> eg. in my opinion: _Read as much as you can_ and _The world is trying to
> keep you stupid_ really go together. Read as much as necessary to overcome
> common misconceptions and educate yourself. don't spend weeks speed reading
> thru the twilight series.

> _Find people that are cooler than you_ is a poorly worded advice / way to
> become less socially inept. Eg if you want to stop _wasting [your] time
> being shy_ , you need to learn from people who are more comfortable in all
> the social interactions you go thru every day.

------
gizzlon
Liked it, but he kind of goes against himself:

 _"Otherwise known as morons on the internet telling me about the world like
they know better. God, these people are unbelievable"_

<http://inoveryourhead.net/how-to-recognize-an-idiot/>

ops..

------
charlieflowers
After item 2, I wanted to upvote, but I forced myself to be patient. By item
16, I had to stop and come upvote it. It's about a 90% match for what I wish I
could go back and tell my 20 year old self. At least I'm doing most of it now.

------
vinaytrivedi
It's great that you took the opportunity to reflect on your life. I would have
enjoyed seeing more context to some of the points though. Given the HN
community, "Learn to program" might be a consensus, but I would love to get
more of your thoughts on it. Why? Any stories? I pick this point as just an
example, but I felt there were more than a few places where some anecdotes
would have worked very well.

------
zobzu
Be superman!

Or you know, you can also just

1/ live

2/ think, learn, try on your own instead of reading blogs that are telling you
to be superman (cause of course you've the will power for that right?)

works rather well.

------
srl
> Get a reminder app for everything

While I agree with the thrust of this suggestion (that if you leave everything
up to memory, you'll miss out on some important opportunities), I've found I'm
most productive if I let my subconscious pick what to work on next (with a
little artificial bias towards working on long-term projects to counter the
inevitable fatigue).

------
CamperBob2
What if I already saw _Fight Club_?

------
maked00
Another MLM wonder. Check out the totally egregious 'contest' designed to spam
the tweet-o-sphere.

Perfect use for a time machine, check-out these know-it-alls later in life,
when life has thrown them a few curve balls, and their bodies are falling
apart in their 80s.

------
cschmidt
The OP link now leads to a different blog post. This seems to be the listed
post:

[http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-
at-2...](http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-20/)

------
bootload
#51 Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, you still screw up ~
<http://seldomlogical.com/2012/03/24/rules-and-resolutions>

------
virbage
And don't forget sunscreen.

------
muerdeme
From my experience, these are things I wish I had known, not should have
known, at 20. As Rod Stewart said, "I wish that I knew what I know now... when
I was younger."

------
tocomment
How do I learn to read with high retention? I'd love to do that. Currently I
feel like the words I read are falling out of the back of my head :-(

------
sown
For me, #5, being shy, is more about the reinforced belief -- after a life
time of observation -- that no one wants my opinion regarding any topic.

~~~
SoftwareMaven
If I look at my surface-level emotions, that's what I see. If I scrape deeper,
I realize it is more related to me not _connecting_ , so my opinions don't
seem to resonate. If I dig even deeper, I realize it is often me _projecting_
how I expect somebody will respond, thereby circumventing the need for them to
actually respond.

But knowing that doesn't make it easier for me to ignore it.

(FWIW, I appreciated your opinion on this. This point struck e, too, but it
wasn't until I saw your comment that so closely echoed my own feelings that I
stopped to put more thought into it.)

------
kenter
I am 36 and admit that 19 out of 20 of this suits me. Disagree with #4. I
think it leads to waste of time.

------
mxfh
I assume the author is in dire need of a list of things he should have known
at age 30+.

------
hoops
"8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too"

Oh dear, I don't think so.

------
jawr
I really enjoyed this post, a couple of things touched a note. Thanks.

------
tudorw
Learn to ignore good advice, it's the same skill used to ignore bad :)

------
blackhole
According to this, I'm actually doing pretty good for being 21.

------
ZephyrP
(Bias Alert: I'm 20)

Forgive me, but this strongly reads like the thoughts of a man who was once
twenty many years ago :)

I am always very interested in the advice of my elders, but I have difficulty
swallowing your advice. (Secondary Bias Alert: I've already got a preexisting
set of rules to follow)

These articles on what I'm missing out on at 20 both seem to carry some deeply
held beliefs that emerge as a result of some societal preconceptions about the
origin of success and happiness. You stress breadth but you don' seem to put
much stock in depth. It is safe to say I have learned everything I know from
studying computers very intently. In this century especially, it is entirely
possible (perhaps preferable) to understand the many human disciplines by
examining them in that context of your own discipline. Very disparate fields
coexist in any sufficiently complex system. The intersection between computer
science and literature, finance, anthropology, semiotics and a slew of other
fine arts, social and hard sciences seems especially apparent to me. I don't
think I could fully appreciate (whatever that designation implies)
Postmodernism or Bell's Inequalities through any other context. Nontechnical
books tell us more about the current cultural climate than any sort of great
human truth.

As far as steadfastness on goals - I started working on a NoSQL database for
high speed transactions when I was 19, I now make a considerable portion of my
living doing support through this open source, entirely altruistic and
ultimately exploratory process. I wasn't "sticking to" anything, I was hanging
out and having fun and not really thinking about solving any kind of money
problem (perhaps this betrays my own naivete). Regardless, I don't think I
could have learned Erlang, Mathematics or anything about databases without a
very considerable amount of "wandering". I personally can't fathom the idea of
sinking 5 years of your life into something that leaves you with some sense of
inescapable dread. I can't help but think you've framed 'youth' in a cliched
middle-life tone - crossing nostalgic sentiments about bygones days and
entirely present-day concerns (kids these days!).

As far as negotiation: I am always very blunt (sometimes to a fault), but
pithy negotiation has always struck me as nothing more than an intentional
disregard for another human being's dignity. I once worked at a Del Taco when
I was 15 and absolutely hated the many people who tried to nickel and dime the
drive-through. Negotiation as a sales process is entirely different than
dealing with people who work very hard, and whom you choose o pay to provide
you with a service.

I don't care much for reminder apps or pomodoro or any of these 'productivity
enhancing' apps, not to say you can't benefit from them. I can, however, speak
anecdotally to the efficacy of hard physical work and deliberate focus on
improving productivity. We let ourselves get away with too much, too often.

I think you don't emphasize compassion for other people enough. It is far too
easy to become so enraptured in your own schemes that you forget how valuable
it is to be in good accord with others and to have a good name. If we
cultivate ourselves with an awareness that's rooted in 'reminders' and success
and not human welfare, we won't get far.

~~~ Side Note

I wrote these out many months ago to codify some internal dialog spanning many
years on what sort of system of action is the most profitable use of my time.
I have imposed these on myself for a very long time with varying (but
monotonically increasing!) degrees of success over time. I consider having
rules like these to have been a considerable source of permanent, lasting
change on myself. Maybe they will be useful to some other young people.

\- Stop "collecting" programming languages beyond what is pragmatically useful
or is genuinely spiritually/intellectually enlightening.

\- Don't hold onto things I no longer need, try to think critically about if
buying something will make me happier.

\- Don't take yourself so seriously, but think seriously about the world.

\- Never commit myself to action with only partial confidence.

\- Do something to detach myself from desire every day

\- Try not to prefer anything over another thing

\- Never complain

\- Don't let myself be guided by either love or lust

\- Try hard to judge people only by their skill in their craft and how they
treat others, not by their charisma or attractiveness.

------
adventureful
Point 20 is wrong.

You'll find that everybody is 'broken' in their own special ways. There really
isn't any such thing as someone that isn't broken (unless you're talking about
serious mental trauma as the definition of "broken"). We all accumulate
baggage over a lifetime, and from each relationship; we all have weird quirks
and strange behaviors and eccentricities of varying degrees, and weird
reactions to things we do or don't like, and so on.

Find someone whose 'broken' qualities are acceptable to you (not a deal
breaker), or even adorable if you're so lucky.

~~~
rudiger
Point 20 isn't totally wrong. You shouldn't try to “fix” anyone.

~~~
adventureful
That's definitely true.

------
adventureful
#792: ideas are not that valuable

#793: a modest product today, is better than a perfect product next year

#794: incorporating, lawyers, accountants, are not that important, build
something and then worry about that

#795: find a pin, and knock it down; if you never knock down that first pin,
you're never going to knock the rest down

#796: force yourself to get very good at selling; selling yourself, selling
your vision, selling your product, etc.

------
klbarry
None of these are bad things, but they are not universal truths or musts.

------
yashchandra
"You will become more conservative over time"

Could not agree more with this. When I was 20, man I was crazy. Now,
everything scares me. I am only 30.

