
The Top Of My Todo List - dko
http://paulgraham.com/todo.html
======
edw519
When I first saw the title of this essay, I thought I already knew what I was
going to say...

Something about how my own todo this now has only one item on it, the single
most important thing to do next. I gravitated to this based on the great quote
by chess master Jose Capablanca:

[When asked how many moves ahead he looked while playing]: "Only one, but it's
always the right one." (from
<http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Jos%C3%A9_Ra%C3%BAl_Capablanca>).

Then I read pg's essay and Bronnie Ware's blog post and realized that this
post was less about work and more about life.

Then it hit me: My life's todo list _still_ has only one item on it and always
has:

"Always do the right thing."

I realize that this can be very hand wavy because the "right thing" means
something different to everyone and even something different to me at
different times. But still, it has been the perfect #1 for my todo list.

Several years ago, my mother, who lived 1000 miles away, was diagnosed with
Alzheimer's and could no longer use the phone. So I began flying back to
Pittsburgh every other weekend to be with her. After a while, even this wasn't
enough. So I moved to Pittsburgh to be with her every day.

People tried to say the right thing to me, but it never was right. They'd say
things like, "I admire your doing this, but you really don't have to because
she doesn't even know who you are," or "You may be making a sacrifice now, but
in time you won't regret it; you'll have nothing to be sorry for." And I
thought, "How sad. After all these years these people still don't get it. This
isn't a sacrifice from me to her. It's a gift from her to me."

I'm a little uncomfortable distilling pg's and Bronnie Ware's five thoughts
from down into one, but "Always do the right thing" just works for me. I just
hope the others in my life find something that works as well for them.

~~~
mattmanser
Brilliant, always do the right thing. So catchy and yet so utterly useless at
the same time.

You sound just like the 'seduction' experts, 'confidence, that's what gets the
girl'.

My mum had an episode where she quite literally went mad. We spent a couple of
weeks visiting her every day as she was confused, scared and angry.

At some point I turned to my sister and said 'we have to go home, our lives
have to go on'.

The irony being that 'home' was 100 miles away from where my mum lives as my
sister had met her husband a year earlier visiting me.

Your story is touching and totally fucking stupid at the same time. My to-do
list for tomorrow has 'Get loo roll, book a ticket for Splendour festival,
vote'.

Your to-do list sucks ass as it doesn't actually meet your real life needs.

And did I do the right thing? I'll never know, I still feel like a shit as she
screamed that the nurses were hurting her. Humiliated, ignored. Maybe they
did? Lies I hope. I will never, ever know. Alzheimer's? She won't even
remember what you did, you're doing it for nothing more than your own
conscience.

We are living in a very, very odd time where our parents are turning into our
children.

EDIT: The reason I had to write this is that your experience seems to me at
odds with points 1, 3 & 5 of the list. And the horrible thing is it's going to
get worse for all of us here on HN in the next 40 years. Medicine has put us
in a very awkward position, one of being able to maintain the body when the
mind went long ago. Or (imo worse) maintaining the body and mind when the
reasons to live have gone. My friend's grandma openly talks about wanting to
die as all her friends are dead. But does my friend's Mum want her Mum to die?
Of course not. This is a _very_ odd time.

~~~
robomartin
How would you react if someone spoke to you as you just did to the author of
this post? I suspect you would not like it very much. Perhaps you should
consider tempering your words next time. The last paragraph of your post is
worthy of discussion, the rest, as written, is an attack devoid of any class,
manners and consideration.

~~~
mattmanser
The first 2 paragraphs were assholey, the rest was pure heart. It's
controversial.

Yes. But needed to be said. I'm glad people read it.

In reality I wrote that when I was drunk, I was an asshole. But read it again.
It's hard to admit sober. I think edw519 needed challenging, I think he was
weak pretending to be strong. But damn, in all seriousness, edw519's choice
was a LOT harder than mine. I knew recovery was a few weeks away. He knew his
was never.

Don't give your disease ridden parents the rest of your life.

Mainly because _they_ wouldn't have wanted you to when they were whole.

You're supposed to be the next generation. Not caring for an empty shell.

------
IsaacL
I'd rework Paul Graham's list a little, as the first two items are phrased in
negative terms (it's easier to do stuff than to not do stuff).

" _Follow_ your dreams; take a break; say what you think; cultivate
friendships; be happy."

The idea of putting them at the top of your todo list is interesting. At the
moment I organise myself with Trello, one list per project, and at the top of
each list I have a card that reminds me why I'm doing the project. Every now
and again I check these cards to see if any projects should be culled -- if
they're not meeting their goals, or if there's a better way to achieve those
goals, or if I no longer care about those goals.

Keeping long-term priorities in mind when caught up in the midst of your daily
tasks seems like a winner. Your life is lived one day at a time, after all --
if you don't seize the day, you won't seize your life.

Anyway, the whole idea of combining your todo list with your bucket list --
your daily goals with your life goals -- is interesting. I've seen a few
startups based on this idea (evr.st, Goalhawk). It'll be interesting to see if
the model works.

~~~
pg
I didn't phrase them that way by accident.

"Follow your dreams" is too strong. I wrote about that here:
<http://www.paulgraham.com/hs.html>.

"Don't work too much" is phrased that way because it really is a matter of
avoiding something.

~~~
aantix
>Don't work too much

Then why advocated startups "as a way to compress your whole working life into
a few years." So is this balance only good after you've "made it"?

<http://paulgraham.com/wealth.html>

~~~
pg
The phrase "don't work too much" doesn't mean "don't do a lot of work today."
It means don't let work take up your whole life. Starting a startup is the
best way to do that, if you're suited to it. Note the word "compress" in the
passage you quote.

~~~
javajosh
This implies that you advocate working very hard for what is essentially an
early retirement.

~~~
pg
Sort of. More like working very hard till you achieve financial independence,
after which you can do whatever you want. You don't have to stop working; you
just never have to work on anyone else's terms.

~~~
ErrantX
For the majority of people this is unobtainable. Which is where your theory
breaks down, I think. Because if a huge proportion of people adopt this
attitude and strive for independence, most will fail and be ultimately
unhappier for it.

Which sounds like I am recommending resigning oneself to never achieving.

But really what I am saying is this; figure out realistic goals, add a little
bit, then head toward them. Also, enjoy yourself on the way.

Most successful people to my observation fall into two camps; ridiculously
talented and "lucky". The former have realistic high level goals anyway. And
the latter are, by definition, random.

~~~
pg
Believe me, no one knows better that starting startups is not for everyone.
That's why I was careful to qualify the great grandparent with "if you're
suited for it."

------
dkrich
At the risk of sounding cynical, I wonder how much it actually matters. We
tend to live our lives thinking as we go that we should be striving to end up
at some optimal place and that the purpose of our lives is desperately trying
to keep us exactly on that course. If we don't ask the girl to the dance, or
give up on an idea, or spend extra nights at the office to get a promotion
instead of hanging out with our family we think that we are drifting off of
our optimal course and we drive ourselves crazy wondering at every step if we
are losing our way and strive to keep our future regrets to a minimum. But the
reality is that life is no more valuable at the end than at the beginning or
the middle. Why worry about what our future selves will regret while forgoing
present happiness? Why should I worry today about what I will feel tomorrow if
I know I can be happy today?

When I hear somebody say "I wish I would have spent more time with my family"
I wonder whether they really wish they had spent more time with their family
or if they just miss their old family and wish they could have them back. That
is to say I wonder whether people confuse nostalgia with regret. As you get
older you regret not taking advantage of some things in the past, but I tend
to think that what you feel as regret is actually just longing for being young
again.

~~~
DanBC
> _If we don't ask the girl to the dance_

If you don't ask the first girl to the dance you might not be brave enough to
ask the second girl to the dance and before you know it you're in a self-
reinforcing loop of not asking anyone to any dances until you're old enough to
realise and break out of that loop.

> _Why worry about what our future selves will regret while forgoing present
> happiness?_

I'm not sure how to grok that sentence. Here's two responses.

i) Exactly. Don't miss out on current happiness just to keep the future you
happy. That's the point - future you does not want to look back on a life of
hard grind and no fun just so you can do the looking back from a gold bed on
your huge yacht.

ii) Because seeking contentment now is a way to ensure that you'll be
contented in future and the future you won't look back on a life of missed
opportunities. Missing out on happiness now is sometimes important in the
short term, but it's not a great way to live a life. Perhaps a lot of grind
now means you can retire early and relax and enjoy stuff. But you have to live
long enough to retire, and by that time you may have missed some really fun
things like babies growing.

> _the reality is that life is no more valuable at the end than at the
> beginning or the middle_

Yes. That is the point. Don't grind today to provide future you with excessive
luxury. A bit of grinding might be needed to avoid future financial hardship,
but other than that you should seek things that fulfil you today. Happiness
today will make future you happy.

Future you is not more valuable, but s/he will have the benefit of hindsight.

~~~
dkrich
Well I don't think it all breaks down that cleanly in reality though.
Everybody has dreams and some people pursue them 100% doing what they have to
to get by in the interim, and some just categorize them as dreams and never
really pursue them.

My point is that those who tell themselves "I'm not going to let outside
pressures influence me and I'm going to do what makes me happy" very well may
end up miserable in the short term while they are working to achieve their
dreams. In the end, if they do not achieve their dreams (or even if they do)
they have traded time that they could have succumbed to those pressures and
been more comfortable with the end result of regretting not having had the
guts to go after what they really wanted to go after. Then again, if you
succumb and work forever in a job you hate and are miserable anyway then you
haven't really succeeded in satisfying yourself now either. That's really a
bad position to be in.

I think Jim Coudal put it best in a talk he gave (actually he was quoting
somebody else whose name I can't remember) where he said "The reason most of
us are unhappy most of the time is that we set our goals not for the person we
will be when we achieve them, but the person we are today." I have found that
that is really true. For example, people often go to law school thinking that
they will end up happy if they get a job that pays a certain amount and it
will look good to their current friends so they spend a bunch of money and
work their asses off to get through law school. Then they graduate and feel
compelled to take a job as an attorney and they absolutely hate it. I know
this because I have many many friends who are attorneys and they all are
trying to find a way out. I think the mistake people make in those cases is
not cutting their losses and being truly honest about what kind of life they
want. There is so much pressure to maintain the status quo that they feel
trapped.

------
alanbyrne
What's so bad about being a cog?

I work 9-5 for a large company (100,000+ employees). I clock on each day, they
pay me a great daily rate and I enjoy the work that I do.

Work doesn't define who I am and I am definitely not unfulfilled. I take
French classes, dabble in photography and build the occasional web app. Once a
month I take a 3 day weekend and go somewhere I've never been before. So far
this year I've been to Switzerland, Belgium, Iceland and I'm shortly off to
Madrid. I also enjoy cooking and going to fine restaurants.

The only reason I can afford to do these things is because of the money I
receive from my work as a cog. Sure, I could try and grow one of my web app
ideas, work a bazillon hours for the small chance that it takes off and I
become a millionaire.

But what would I do then? Most likely the exact same things that I am doing
now.

I'm not advocating working in a job you hate and avoiding following your
dreams. I'm saying that working as a cog allows me to afford my dream, so
don't be so quick to bag it.

~~~
vbtemp
In some ways being a european cog is better than being an american cog. I wish
Geneva, Brugge, Rejkjavik, and Madrid were weekend destinations for me! I also
wish I had a european-cog vacation allotment!

~~~
prawn
I'm an Australian who's visited both a few times, including 15 countries in
Europe and 10 states of the US last year. Now, Europe is very diverse and a
great place to be, but the US is full of awesome stuff. Sometimes I wonder how
many locals appreciate what they have.

~~~
Radix
would you give some examples got those of us who may be missing out?

~~~
prawn
Apart from NY, my most recent trips have been mostly West Coast, and Chicago
to LA. The real standouts have been national parks and Utah is amazing for
that, but before I went I had no idea. Arches National Park is stunning and
great fun to hike around but quite accessible to even non-hikers. Same with
Zion (Angel's Landing and The Narrows!) and Bryce, also in Utah.

Did the Bright Angel Trail from the Grand Canyon South Rim and liked Yosemite,
especially hiking Half Dome which was a favourite too.

The area around San Fran is cool, Chicago is quality, some of the smaller
highway driving around Texas and New Mexico I really enjoyed. Mesa Verde.
Antelope Canyon if you can handle the hordes.

If you're an efficient traveller, you could knock off three top-tier parks in
Utah in a week without IMO rushing. Moving quickly yes, but not rushing.

------
ErrantX
Hmm. About 2 years ago I bought myself a canvas and wrote on it the following:

 _Live happy, make friends, enjoy. Make those dreams happy_

It was for much the same reason - to inspire me. However, about 6 months later
I thought those idea through and realised that, actually, it was an example of
"making me feel better". I could sit and look at this poster and think; "yeh,
I'm following my dream, I'm going to be happy". I even had a list of goals to
meet.

But really you're not; you're following an arbitrary list, and all that is is
con-straining.

Here's my thought process; _trying hard to be happy isn't being happy_... That
thought mulled for a long while; I was doing cool stuff, with people I liked,
and having plenty of down time. But I still felt like it was an effort to
pursue.

This year has been a revelation. I did something "stupid" and spent a lot of
my savings on two big holidays (many years ago I discovered my truest love is
travel). Yesterday I spent a big portion of what is left on my third holiday
of the year. I've barely done any work since January - one product release and
some bugfixes. I started writing, then stopped, wrote a little program for
myself, tried some carpentry, almost trashed my car trying to fix it, stood
for at least three elections (politics and social communities) on a whim,
dated two girls at once. And this is the tip of the iceberg.

All of this wouldn't sync with the person who wrote that maxim 2 years before;
it would seem reckless and silly. As if I was throwing away what I had worked
for years to build. A load of fucking rubbish.

Right now I'm free.

And I smile more than I ever have in my life. I have more friends. My life is
barrelling along where, 6 months ago, it was stagnant.

So I wrote a new canvas (about 2 weeks ago, actually) which now says:

 _Let rip_

My point is this; take care, with some of these ideas, that you don't get too
focused on the means to the end. Just relax, close your eyes, do what you feel
like. In the end it will work out. One day we will all be dead - till then I
am going to enjoy myself. :)

There is nothing wrong with a todo list topped by the words "don't ignore your
dreams". But only if it makes you happy.

~~~
melvinram
I struggle with this from time to time.

I'm building a business that I plan/hope will allow me to have the freedom to
do whatever I want with my time at some point in the future.

Today, however, I work. I work a lot. 12 hours is the low end for a day. I've
put work ahead of lot of things.

If I were to truly close my eyes and do what I feel like, I'd be headed to a
river/lake or getting on a plane. But I have clients, whom I've promised
deliverables on Monday & Tuesday. So I'm going to work today.

In addition, we're generating a lot of sales leads from our website but our
sales process isn't as effective as it needs to be to justify hiring a
dedicated sales person to handle that task. Once I can improve the sales
process, put in place the tools necessary for a higher closing rate, revenues
will increase and I'll hire someone to manage that aspect of the business and
move on to a different/higher quality problem. So this weekend, I'm going to
be working on the sales process (emails/pdf brochures/demo video/etc) as well.

Yes, I could just go have fun and maybe I get to the same goal, just in a
slightly longer time... but at least I enjoyed the journey more. Right? Maybe,
but I don't see it that way.

If I don't work my ass off today, I perceive that my chances of "making it"
are going to be much lower. I'm not sure if that perception is true or not,
but can I really afford to take a chance? So this weekend, I'll work. I'll put
in the time and hope that the small successes will build up to a mega success
and make all the sacrifies (like leaving cousins birthday party after a quick
drop-in or skipping out on a date) are justified at the results (money and
freedom to do spend a lot of time with people.)

I don't know if that's the right call or not. I struggle with it all the time,
particularly when friends are taking vacations 2-3 times a year.

For now, I'm placing my bets on "work now. enjoy later."

PS: I do make time for the absolutely critical things in my life like talking
with my sister every other day, talking with my parents, keeping in touch with
friends and more recently, taking my health a bit more seriously.

PS2: Two of my deepest fears: 1) not trying hard enough, 2) succeeding and
realizing it wasn't worth the sacrifice. I don't think they are likely to
happen.

~~~
Tyrannosaurs
I have two concerns with the work now, enjoy later:

1) It forms habits. I think there are a lot of people who work now and just
keep working because they never work out how to stop.

2) Later isn't always what you think it might be. A cautionary tale:

My parents worked (very) hard their whole lives, both became company
directors, had a small shareholding in the company one of them worked for and
did well out of it. They wanted to get themselves (and me) set up and get to
the point they could enjoy retirement.

When they did retire (a bit after 60) within a year or so my mother had to
have her hip replaced which laid her up for some time and rather scuppered
many of their plans. Things got worse on that front and she ended up having
both hips replaced twice. She was then diagnosed with cancer and died 18
months later (much of the enjoyment during that period limited by her
treatment).

My dad is now way more than comfortable but his plans are in tatters.

In short: later is always a risk. Later may not be what you think it will.
Perhaps it's best not to bet it all on later.

~~~
melvinram
I hear ya. And very for your mom.

I'm 28 today so for me, later = 35 onwards.

------
srconstantin
I disagree. Strongly.

Following your dreams, not working too much, spending time with family and
friends, saying what you think, and being happy, might belong at the top of
Paul Graham's todo list. He's already succeeded at what most people struggle
at: making a living. He may have forgotten that getting by is hard.

What's so wrong about being a "cog in a machine"? Large organizations exist
partly because scale and specialization are useful. People aren't "cogs" out
of perversity, but practicality. Sometimes your comparative advantage is in
being a good cog. And sometimes being a good cog is admirable. Example:
surgeons who specialize in one and only one procedure, doing it exactly the
same way every time, have a low failure rate. They save more lives that way.
Are they creative? Nope. They follow somebody else's rules. They make
themselves as mechanical, as repetitive, as possible. And the guy on the
operating table lives.

Paul Graham is in a _very unusual profession_ , where risk-taking is much more
of an ideal than it is anywhere else. Also notice that he makes money off of
telling other people to take risks. The more people decide to be
entrepreneurs, the wider a pool he has to draw from. "Follow your dreams" is a
useful meme for people like that; if a hundred people follow their dreams and
fail and ruin their lives, PG never hears about it, but if one person follows
his dreams and becomes a billionaire, PG might get a share. This isn't meant
to vilify the guy; there's nothing wrong with making a living by inspiring
people. And I'm sure he would say that he's fighting dangerous opposing memes
against ever taking risks. I just think you can't take posts like this at face
value.

~~~
paulsutter
Woah, cowboy.

> if a hundred people follow their dreams and fail and ruin their lives, PG
> never hears about it

Ruin their lives?

Hundreds of people fail in front of pg all the time. As an entrepreneur you
fail in little ways constantly, and in big ways repeatedly. But that's ok.
Failing is how we learn.

Can you think of anyone who ruined their life by failing at a startup?

~~~
jacquesm
> Can you think of anyone who ruined their life by failing at a startup?

Yes, I can. Lots of people, actually. But that's fine, I also know plenty of
people that succeeded.

Failing at a start-up can do a lot more to you than just costing you some
money and some time. It can wreck your relationship with your significant
other, your children, your family, your friends and so on. It can cost you
more than you could afford. It can put you in debt for a long time to come.

Whether or not this happens is related to how hard you're trying and at what
point you throw in the towel. Fail fast is not just a way to tell people to
iterate, it is also a way to remind you that if you fail you should fail in
such a way that you don't end up losing more than you can afford.

~~~
paulsutter
All of those things happened to me, but my life hasn't been ruined. Not even a
little. It was after my greatest failure that I finally learned to be happy.
It wasn't easy, but it was important. The lone exception from your list is
family. Failing in a startup cannot wreck your relationships. Only you can
wreck relationships.

Turning it around, when I think of all the people I know who have gone through
the problems you mention, few did so as a result of starting a company. In
fact your list seems well within the bounds of normal life.

I'd love to hear an example of a person whose life was really ruined by a
failed attempt to start a company.

------
K2h
My boss doesn't read hn, so I can get away with this. In the last few years,
after my daughter was born, I made a decision to not work too much. I
consciously reduced my working hours as much as possible.

To my surprise and delight, my productivity and overall work completion has
actually gone up. By being time bound (I am leaving at 5 no matter what) I
often have to work like mad to get my work done. I have to make decisions
quickly and implement.

The results are more projects done, sooner. If a mistake is made, or a more
complete solution is needed you iterate and do it tomorrow. Already you are
two iterations in where 2 years ago I would have been stalled still trying to
work up a good starting point.

Try it.

~~~
antidaily
I just forwarded this to your boss.

~~~
K2h
That made me laugh. I would be ok with it though as he is very happy with my
performance. Reviews were yesterday.

------
japhyr
There are two ways of living: fear-based, and love-based.

People who live fear-based avoid things. They avoid things that might cause
heartache, pain, difficulty, etc. but all of the most interesting pursuits in
life have the potential to cause these things sometimes.

People who live love-based move towards things that bring happiness and
satisfaction in the long term. They work hard and play hard, and when they
hurt they know that things may get better.

I heard this several years ago now, and I see one of these approaches in most
people around me.

~~~
dhruval
To make this more relevant to entrepreneurship and startups...

It is possible to get a pretty good idea of how someone will behave under
times of stress by just talking to them for a few minutes. Then gauging if
most of their worldview is driven by-

\- Shame / Guilt / Apathy

\- Fear / Anxiety

\- Anger / Hate

\- Pride

\- Courage

\- Joy

\- Compassion

Now we are often taught to 'be compassionate' or the 'enjoy life', but there
is a difference between actually feeling that way and trying to convince
people, including yourself, that you feel this way (which would be fear
driven).

This is a bit difficult to explain, especially given my limited writing
skills, but pretty easy to pick up in the subtext of conversations. For
instance in the way that people phrase certain things, or tone with which they
talk about certain issues.

There is probably some correlation between this sort of emotional development
and conventional success. But I think this sort of development is probably
more important to the subjective experience of life as a human.

~~~
hasenj
Very interesting.

What's the difference like?

I mean, what kind of responses do you see from people whose world view is
driven by pride/courage/joy/compassion ?

------
Estragon
It's hard to step outside the systems of social domination which suppress
dreams, encourage overwork, etc. because they operate from fears which are
often so deep-seated we're often not even aware of them. Bringing those fears
into the light and unlearning the reactions they trigger is the main goal of
spiritual practice (at least of mine.) This sort of emotional study and
training is on the critical path for all of the desiderata pg lists (again, at
least for me) and would have to precede them on my todo list, if I had one for
this sort of thing.

Something my teacher wrote along these lines:
<http://www.unfetteredmind.org/learned-helplessness/0>

    
    
      Can learned helplessness be undone? Well, that’s the big question,
      isn’t it? The answer is “Yes.” The cost, however, is high. We can only
      undo learned helplessness by severing our internal connection with the
      system that gave rise to it.
      
      Our motivation must be clear and strong. We must really want to hear
      and respond to our own questions about life. We must really want to
      live our own life and not one prescribed by our family, society,
      culture, profession or tradition. Metaphorically, we must be willing
      to go north, the direction that takes us out of society. We must be
      willing to endure pain, know from direct experience, act on what we
      see and receive what happens. We must yearn to experience what is
      without relying on anything to confirm our existence.

~~~
technology
Another tool for designing out choices is called "Nudge" [1]

By a nudge we mean anything that influences our choices. A school cafeteria
might try to nudge kids toward good diets by putting the healthiest foods at
front. We think that it's time for institutions, including government, to
become much more user-friendly by enlisting the science of choice to make life
easier for people and by gentling nudging them in directions that will make
their lives better.

"Most people know they should save money, but many don’t save enough and may
not even be sure what amount is enough. Most savings advice goes against human
nature and asks people to make complex calculations. To help people save,
nudge them. When it is time for employees to enroll in your firm’s retirement
plan, make signing up the default. People can choose not to sign up or can
quit any time, but inertia and the status quo conspire to keep them from doing
what’s good for them. Try a “Save More Tomorrow” program that “invites
participants to commit themselves in advance to a series of [savings account]
contribution increases” as their wages rise. This approach recognizes that
people fear loss, and may perceive savings as a loss of disposable income, so
it links increases in their savings rate to parallel increases in their
salaries. When people earn more, the company automatically deducts more in
savings. They don’t have to decide to save."

Set up choices in a way that takes advantage of how humans make decisions. You
can nudge people in beneficial directions. To facilitate better decisions,
design a default option that benefits people unless they explicitly choose
otherwise.

[1] [http://www.amazon.com/Nudge-Improving-Decisions-Health-
Happi...](http://www.amazon.com/Nudge-Improving-Decisions-Health-
Happiness/dp/0300122233)

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nudge_(book)>

quick summary - <http://www.slideshare.net/sgmitch/nudge09>

~~~
Estragon
Interesting, but I think we're talking about very different things. You're
talking about engineering systems which manipulate people into doing things
you think are good for them, and I'm talking about largely undoing the
system's scope for such manipulation, by undoing the internal mechanisms by
which such systems operate.

The other post currently at the top of HN is about the poster's fear that by
pursuing entrepreneurial ambitions now they are setting themselves up for
economic irrelevancy in a few years' time. The top comment in that thread is
currently from an experienced programmer saying that he has almost never had
the optimal skillset for any job market of the last three decades, yet never
been unemployed. That's the kind of fear which turns someone into a cog, and
the kind of thing you have to undo to live out pg's desiderata.

------
scotty79
5 most common regrets reflect what most people do.

If majority of people worked as entrepreneurs not cogs they would have
different list of 5 regrets. But they would still have list of 5 most common
regrets. Only different ones.

I think that people when they die usually regret the way they lived because
they all dreamt about something different.

The only way not to regret anything is never dream and be happy with whatever
hits you and with whatever comes out of your efforts.

~~~
alexro
>> The only way not to regret anything is never dream and be happy with
whatever hits you and with whatever comes out of your efforts. <<

It is also non-accidentally the only way to live for a religious person. The
thought that you can regret anything does not bring you closer to the heaven.
God gives God takes - you just keep the books.

------
cstross
You only get one life: use it wisely.

A couple of years ago I had a conversation with a man, then aged 85. Outwardly
successful, he took over and ran the family textiles business his father had
built, raised a family -- "but did you enjoy the job?" I asked. Because before
joining the family business he first did a degree in electrical engineering --
in the 1940s -- and joined an engineering consultancy, and worked in it for
some time. "No," he said, somewhat sadly.

That's not to say that he had a bad life, but he'd let his father drag him
into a line of work that wasn't his dream, and grew old dutifully following
it. He was a ho-hum director of a company in a decaying old-world sector,
while what he'd wanted to be was an engineer.

So my advice (for what it's worth, after 47 years of trying to figure life out
for myself) would be: work out what you enjoy doing, then do it. Don't put it
off until later, and don't let a false sense of duty lead you down a dead-end
occupation. Don't chase an end goal, because if you get it you'll then have to
figure out what to do with the rest of your life; build your life around the
journey, not the destination.

~~~
ams6110
I think anything you do for a lifetime has a very good chance of becoming "ho
hum." After 25 years in the field, I am starting to feel that way more and
more about software development. You see the same ideas come up over and over.
The same wheels reinvented over and over, but differently enough that you have
to take one step back to take two steps forward. I wonder if it's really
possible to for most of us to reach age 65, and if we've spent that time in
one field or line of work to not feel some regrets about what we might have
done. It might well be that these "deathbed confessions of things I wish I had
done differently" are largely unavoidable.

~~~
cstross
You pluck the low-hanging fruit early in your career.

This doesn't mean there isn't scope for new thinking and originality; it just
means that it's much harder to do something original, and it will take you
longer and make you sweat more.

The real mind-death is a job which delivers no challenges and consists of
endless repetition.

------
unimpressive
I once did something similar, except inverted.

I'd put at the bottom of my to-do list "...Die unfulfilled and unhappy"

I figured seeing that at the bottom of my to-do list would remind me to make
sure it doesn't happen. And maybe even rethink the items on top.

~~~
dazbradbury
So logically, by completing all your items on the todo list, you die
unfulfilled and unhappy. Where's the incentive there?!

How about you put something like this at the bottom...

    
    
        n-1)Immediately think of something important
            and meaningful to do, and add it above.
        n)...Die unfulfilled and unhappy

~~~
sundeep_b
:)

Well, the idea is that he won't reach the end of the list. So, two more items
at the end will make no difference except add only more backlog!

------
neilk
I wonder a few things about this...

1) Is it a given that our regrets, when death is close, are wiser than the
choices we made when death seemed further away?

We clearly choose to do things like move away from our family and friends, to
follow spouses, chase careers, have different lifestyles. And that keeps us
occupied for decades.

If we chose to do none of that, or less of it, would be feel like we were in a
rut all our lives? Maybe you'd still feel alone when you were dying, because
you never set out in the world to find people who really understood you.

Maybe you _always_ feel alone when you're dying and there's nothing you can do
about it.

I'm just exploring this idea for the sake of testing it; actually I do not
doubt the article's wisdom so much here. But my next concern, I believe in a
bit more.

2) I wonder how many of these regrets are due to the systems we live under.

It seems to me that even a few hundred years ago, "I wish I had stayed in
touch with my friends." would be absurd. You'd be sick to death of how close
your friends were (in the 1300s, perhaps literally). Americans are
particularly likely to move long distances, though.

And as for living a life true to oneself, and expressing oneself -- would you
even think of such things if your horizon was one town, or one tribe? Maybe
you'd have to be far more discreet, without the refuge of a large city, or
other forms of anonymity.

As for not working so hard, that seems to be the most tied to whatever our
political and economic systems are.

------
orofino
This is about priority. I'd argue that while this reminder is nice, it doesn't
go far enough, it is too passive.

Actively working towards those goals is the only way you'll actually achieve
them. Instead of putting these generic statements at the top of your list, put
some concrete action or goal there.

This is something I'm trying to live right now. A month ago I quit my job [1]
to travel the world after having saved and dreamed about it for years. During
the time I was dreaming we put together a plan, set aside money, and tried to
reign in expenses. All tangible actions that lead to an end.

[1] <http://orofino.me/homeless-and-jobless-travelling-the-world/>

------
elviejo
Objectives in the negative have a bad effect on the brain according to NLP so

"Don't ignore your dreams; don't work too much; say what you think; cultivate
friendships; be happy."

Can be better expressed as: " pursue your dreams, get appropriate rest and
relaxation, say what... "

(if you believe in NLP)

~~~
mdda
I'm not sure whether belief in NLP is a matter of taste : The techniques are
basically a distillation of what therapists (notably Erickson) have uncovered
during hypnosis. To further amplify your point, the unconscious mind doesn't
seem to be any good at parsing logical statements - so things that one 'says
to oneself' should be cast straightforwardly.

At its most basic, the command "Don't think of a pink unicorn" brings to the
surface exactly what you don't want. Drilling yourself to process 'bad stuff'
unconsciously is (as you said) counterproductive.

------
allbombs
"Don't ignore your dreams; don't work too much; say what you think; cultivate
friendships; be happy."

Will counter and say, it's impossible to achieve dreams (or the first big
exit) without putting your head down, working insane hours, neglecting
friends, and being miserable. Need to live the bad times, ultimate lows, to
fully realize happiness and no regrets.

~~~
tomp
The thing about dreams is, they don't need to be achieved; even failing to
achieve them is better than not trying - at least you've tried.

I know this, now I have to go out and actually do it.

~~~
japhyr
Although the trying should lead to some fruition. Always trying but never
having succeeded would be a pretty sad way to end up. This awareness gives me
the stamina to work through all the details it takes to end up with a polished
product.

~~~
kolya3
Sure, though when you start a project often times the goal you set out to
reach turns out to be the wrong one. Enjoy the journey and be flexible on the
goal. The mere act of trying, produces fruits that you didn't expect.

I always loved this quote from Jobs: "...you have to trust that the dots will
somehow connect in your future." And they very often do. So be sure to start
that project, whatever it may be, just take the next smallest manageable step
instead of just thinking about it. Go west and whatever fruits that produces
might turn out to be very successful, just not in the way you originally
planned.

~~~
japhyr
Pivoting at the right times can lead to success. But I have seen plenty of
people just pivot endlessly, because sometimes that's easier than doing all
the drudgery work required to carry an idea out fully.

I know most of us have to "fail" many times before we succeed. But if our
failures never lead to any real success, then we are doing something wrong.

------
gms
"Don't ignore your dreams; don't work too much;"

Aren't these two mutually exclusive?

My feeling (caveat: I'm only in my late 20's) is that it's impossible to
simultaneously eliminate all the regrets on Ms. Ware's list. If you work
really hard in order to chase your dreams, you end up neglecting friends and
family for a bit. Stick around among your family and friends, and you don't
get to chase your dreams as much.

It's hard to know where the exact boundaries lie such that a satisfying
equilibrium is achieved. Makes me wonder if some regret is always inevitable.

~~~
maigret
Depends what your dreams are. One of my dream was to fly planes. I did learn
all that without getting burned out - would not help me much keeping my
medical certificate for flying!!! Actually, this was quite some time taking
learning, but that doesn't made me put my other social activities aside. How
do you define a dream? Do you define your dreams compared to the others, so
you have to better than anyone else, and so you have to work like crazy? Or do
you define your dreams by achievements you would like to get to yourself, in
which case I'd ask you why you can't just adapt your pace to your life?

------
olliesaunders
If you put anything at the top of your to-do list that you don’t _have to_
read and pay attention to you’ll ignore it sooner or later.

Ever invited someone new to your home and been surprised at the things that
caught their attention? The things we make permanent fixtures in our
environment—unless we have to interact with them or they change—ultimately get
accepted and forgotten. Many people really hate to accept this because it
means that any positive changes that we create in our life will ultimately be
eroded. A solution to this problem is one of my main preoccupations.

In the mean time, the question that should be being asked is how _exactly_
will you live your life differently in order to adhere to these standards? And
apply that question to tomorrow, next week, next season, next year, and the
next five years. You could try writing a plan but then plans fail because they
speculate. Sorry I don’t have any real answers.

------
robomartin
I feel that balance, which can be hard to achieve, need a spot on the list. I
had a friend who's approach was akin to work hard and be frugal. He was so
frugal that he became famous for not cashing his paychecks for weeks. As an
engineer he made very good money. He saved most of it and had been buying gold
and silver as investments for the last 20 years. He and his wife were going to
move to Hawaii and enjoy life. On his last trip there to buy a house he went
for a swim out of the same beach they had visited for years. And he never came
back.

This is an extreme example of a case where lack of balance produced the wrong
outcome. He did not enjoy a lot of things in life because of his extreme focus
on frugality.

Seek balance.

------
siavosh
I think many of us mistake expressing our feelings with saying whatever comes
to mind which can lead to a bigger wreck than ignoring or suppressing them.

I would change it to: don't ignore your feelings. How you act on them is where
wisdom comes in.

------
kenrikm
My dad died when he was 49, I'm 27.

49 - 27 = 22;

Keeping that in mind gets me moving every day. Enjoy the time that you have,
build great things and do great stuff.

------
ejfox
I wanted to make a poster of this for myself so I did. Sharing in case anyone
else might wanna use it, you're more than welcome. All respect to Paul Graham
& Bronnie Ware.

There's a 26" x 39" poster version, in case you happen to have a big-ass
printer around, and an 8.5" x 11" smaller version if you're normal.
<http://cloud.ejfox.com/G1IE>

Also available in black: <http://cloud.ejfox.com/G1Wm>

~~~
reledi
Thanks! I noticed others in this thread saying it's better to avoid negatives.
For example, "Pursue your dreams" instead of "Don't ignore your dreams". Can
you make a positive version of this poster?

------
dave1619
I think "say what you think" is fundamentally different than "not suppressing
your feelings." I think suppressing your feelings goes deeper, into the inner
person and getting in touch with who you really are and why you feel what you
feel. But saying what you think is a lot easier. It's what a lot of know-it-
all people do. You just say what's on your mind but that doesn't mean you're
really paying attention to what you're feeling.

------
namityadav
I would change "cultivate friendships" to "cultivate relationships". With
family, friends, acquaintances, etc. And I'd also add "Focus on your health"

------
dbul
It's funny because most of these are problems I don't have yet affect me
because others do have them.

 _You forget your dreams_

Never. I live for my dreams.

 _ignore your family_

Out of college the first startup concept I attempted was a family social
network (family tree, photos, blog). How great would it be to use tech to
possibly keep families together? I learned that women and new families loved
it, but men seemed to be apathetic. "You spend time with your family?" "Of
course" "Good, because a man who doesn't spend time with his family can never
be a real man."

 _suppress your feelings_

I try to keep people around me who don't mind listening to how I feel. Don't
be a complainer, but don't hesitate to express yourself.

 _neglect your friends_

The president of my high school class surprised me when he told me he has to
make such an effort to get people to hang out. It is a challenge to know if
you have a healthy friendship if you are always initiating the get-togethers.

 _forget to be happy_

Of all, this seems to be the most difficult. If you aren't making progress
with the other four, certainly this point will be true.

------
Mz
I can't think of any regrets that I have. There are things that seriously
annoy me about my life, like I am deeply in debt, homeless and trying to
declare bankruptcy/find some solution for my financial problems. But I got
into this mess by getting myself and my children healthy when the world says
that cannot be done. It annoys the fool out of me that there is no support for
what I have done but I could milk the system for scads of money if I took the
conventional course of treatment. It just makes no sense. It is so not right.
What I have done is both cheaper and more effective than conventional
treatments. And no one cares, neither about my plight nor about how to
replicate my accomplishment for others. The whole thing makes me crazy.

But regrets? That would suggest I made the wrong choices. Given the hand I was
dealt, I cannot think of a single thing I "should" have done differently.

So no regrets, in spite of wanting to spit nails about my situation.

------
gsharm
I remember where in one of Vonnegut's books, he describes life not as some
fixed end-result in time to be celebrated or mourned, but a process, something
you could visualize as a roughly drawn line taking all sorts of directions
through time, alongside other lines, often interacting with some of them,
creating effects, and finally terminating.

I suppose, in some sense, it's not far off from our idea of a process running
on a computer, often interacting with other processes, launching other
processes, eventually terminating.

Taking that further, one way to look at this is that life is really a process,
running on our software (genetic code), which we have some control over
(somehow). We literally are code that writes code, albeit very slowly, over
generations. And perhaps that what we really want is to able to look back at
what we've etched into this big computer's (i.e. the world's shared) memory
and be proud of it.

------
ForrestN
I'm very curious what these principles are optimizing for. If they
successfully produce the certain kind of life pg desires, how is that life
qualified?

It seems like this method optimizes for happiness, as well as some kind of
self determination. I'm curious if happiness is differentiated from pleasure,
or contentment.

I'd be concerned that based on the derivation of these rules that they
actually are tuned to minimize regret at the end of one's life. If I had the
choice between, say, twice as much pleasure throughout my life, but pangs of
regret at the end, or a less pleasurable life that I felt satisfied with at
the end, it would be a pretty difficult decision for me.

edit: downvote? really? to clarify, I'm not criticizing the article. I just
want to think through the assumptions that underly it, both to know more
clearly what they are and then to evaluate the ruleset by evaluating the goals
it's working towards.

------
MrJagil
As a person who is currently pretty much paralyzed by anxiety attacks I can
vouch for the "don't work too much" part. Even though the cause of my distress
was actually a mixture of work and fun. It sounds counterintuitive but doing
stuff you like and being happy can actually be quite stressful.

Please remember to take vacations and the like.

------
adrianhoward
Freaky. I had exactly the same reaction when I read that list a couple of
years ago. It really reminding me of some of the conversations I had with my
dad just before he died, and I knew I didn't want to have those regrets.

At the top of my to do list is:

 _Honour dreams. Work less. Speak honestly. Have friends. Be happy._

------
martininmelb
I like the sentiments expressed in the post and hope that on my deathbed I
will not regret "not having spent more time with my children".

I think, though, I would regret it more if on my deathbed I thought "My
children did not get the opportunity to attend University because we could not
afford it", or "If I had the money to send them to a better school, they may
have had more opportunities".

I also would not like to be a burden on my children if I became sick because I
did not have enough money saved to pay for medical care or whatever other care
I need.

In my fifties, when there are redundancies, I don't want to be the one they
say "while all the other workers are prepared to put in the hard yards, he's
the one that always leaves at 5:00" or miss out on promotions because the
others work longer hours than me.

------
ptn
This reminds me of Neil DeGrasse's Tyson's "two main philosophies in life":
[http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/qccer/i_am_neil_degras...](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/qccer/i_am_neil_degrasse_tyson_ask_me_anything/c3wgffy)

------
harryf
To me this one looks buggy

> don't work too much

It implies "chillin' out" which is fine occasionally but will not achieve goal
5 "be happy" if over-used.

We put a lot of effort into planning, organising and executing our work lives
and many of us are good at. The parallel tendency is ignoring our outside-of-
work lives.

I'd postulate if we put the same kind of techniques we apply to work to our
personal lives, it would be far more fulfilling than "chillin' out".

I'd also postulate it's a zero sum game - in any given time frame, e.g a week,
we only have so much energy, desire and time to invest in being successful,
planning, organizing etc.

So I'd propose changing "don't work too much" to

> reduce the effort put into work and invest that effort in personal life
> instead

Not so catchy unfortunately.

------
gosub
This article is so unsubstantiated...

1\. These are the regrets of the dying. Maybe that it's not the best state of
mind to make decisions about your life.

2\. The regrets are so generic that every one could see himself in these
circumstances, like with oroscopes.

3\. It's not explained what it means to be a cog. Am I a cog? Is it possible
to never be a cog? How?

4\. It is implyied that having a family, dreams and feelings as priorities is
a good thing. Maybe it's not.

5\. In general, it makes the same error it is trying to avoid, omission. If
you are living your life and you are not happy, don't have a family or many
friends, maybe it's because you are doing something more important than those.

6\. You could be happy and, at the same time, not doing the right thing.

------
erikb
pg, you should definitely learn something about cultures that are not so self
centered then the american one. Your post reads like a prove of a mathematical
system that only uses parts of it's own system. Of course it sounds logical.

~~~
paulhauggis
His "system" is universal. So you don't have family or friends in Europe or
business owners in Asia?

It may not fit your vision of reality, but it's certainly not only American.

It's difficult for me to see people that don't spend time with their friends
and family, never go after their dreams, and work the same boring job for 20+
years not having regrets when they get to the end of their lives.

------
nickm12
I'd have thought the top regret of the dying would be, "I wish I wasn't
dying."

------
cjmauthor
GET AWAY FRO0M THESE MACHINES JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE! I think technology has
created this vacuum where everything around you no longer exists and you find
yourself in a place of isolation. To all those like myself jumping from
machines at home, to iphones on the train, to machines at work, to iphones on
the way home, to machines while you eat dinner, to iphones as you lay in the
bed, and finally you wake up and the first thing you do is reach for your
iphone. Let's make a serious effort to spend more quality time away from the
machines before it is too late!

------
robforman
I found this article a few months back and was struck by its simplicity and
big-picture view. We would be crazy to not try to learn from those ahead of us
since we only get one pass at this.

I sent it around to some friends and, oddly, a common response was "You're too
young (I'm 30) to be thinking about death." How ironic. We don't want to think
about the end until its thrust upon us, but by then its too late to change
course. I like the inversion you did. Its a good reminder to live life
intentionally.

------
architgupta
Its like getting consistent physical exercise, isn't it?

Keeping fit should be a priority - we feel happier, fitter, more relaxed after
a workout. Yet its easy to laze around, sometimes checking email, hn, finding
excuses to not go in today.

In Ms. Ware's essay - consciously choosing happiness is a very intelligent
thought. On some days I feel miserable, then I look around (I am in India). I
thank heavens for a wonderful life. Being miserable, then appears to be a
choice.

~~~
jarek
Ah, that most Western of ideas — that to get consistent physical exercise it
is necessary to "go in" for a "workout."

~~~
architgupta
I am in Delhi (have also lived in San Francisco). Actually in SF, it was easy
to remain fit, by just walking 7-8 miles after work with friends up and down
the hills.

In Delhi (at least in my part of town), its unsafe to walk/cycle in streets
due to bad driving and traffic. better to go to a public park or a gym. So
yeah, its the east where rapid urbanization isn't leaving space for a random
walk.

------
aymeric
Here is my advice to change your defaults.

You want to lose weight? Throw away all your junk food. You want more time?
Get rid of your TV. You want to be with your family more often? Live close to
them.

I don't have practical advices for how to not ignore your dreams, not suppress
your feelings, not neglect your friends, and not forget to be happy. But I am
sure there can be similar advices for these, I just lack the creativity.

------
cageface
Sometimes HN really feels like a Tim Robbins seminar.

~~~
dansingerman
Ahem, I take it you mean Tony Robbins?

------
adrianwaj
And now for the hard part.

 _don't ignore your dreams_ : build yourself in new ways that initially seem
wrong or stupid.

 _don't work too much_ : be less materialistic but push your limit.

 _say what you think_ : don't take shit, ask questions, think what you do.

 _cultivate friendships_ : real bridges don't burn and avoid schadenfreude.

 _be happy_ : be prepared to let go of what you know to be true and strive for
health.

------
rooshdi
Nice reminder to constantly put work/life in perspective. Shifting from
defaults can certainly be tricky when you're jumping from one thing to the
next and losing yourself in the monotony of it all. There definitely is a
problem here, as well as room for a better technological solution. Opportunity
for a startup, perhaps?

------
ChristianMarks
Brian Leiter wrote about this on his philosophy blog and solicited comments
from readers. [http://leiterreports.typepad.com/blog/2012/04/what-would-
you...](http://leiterreports.typepad.com/blog/2012/04/what-would-your-biggest-
regret-be-if-this-were-the-last-day-of-your-life.html)

------
read_wharf
"Don't be a cog."

Inserted as the subtitle at the top of my TiddlyWiki organizer (my rolling
ToDo list), and linked to pg's essay.

------
drx
> I would like to avoid making these mistakes. But how do you avoid mistakes
> you make by default?

I try to do it by challenging a lot of what I think, almost all the time. It's
a solution, although it's very taxing.

(I'd like to say I challenge everything always, but I likely have some blind
spots)

------
twakefield
#4 seems to explain a lot of the success that Facebook has had. FB may not be
the best venue to maintain truly meaningful relationships but it serves an
innate human need and does so at scale, which is why it is so valuable.

------
valhallarecords
I would just change all these to the positive form rather than the negative
form of what you're trying to avoid. Any thought of what you're trying to
avoid just perpetuates it.

Don't ignore your dreams => Live your dreams

Don't work too much => Have fun

Say what you think

Cultivate friendships

Be happy.

------
getpost
>But how do you avoid mistakes you make by default?

For me, this is what mindfulness is all about. A mindfulness practice
gradually develops the ability to be in the present moment and be aware of the
choices you are making.

------
mgallivan
I think that the fifth rule, be happy, is either:

\- a guiding principle by which the other four rules are derived or... \- the
effect of following the previous four rules

I don't think of "be happy" as a rule so much in itself.

~~~
sunsu
I think that, more often than not, being happy requires choosing to be happy.
There are far too many unplanned moments in life where, even if you've
followed the other four rules, you will not be happy unless you actively
choose to make lemonade out of your lemons.

~~~
japhyr
That's true. People who say "I'm bored" are usually boring people. Many first-
world people who are unhappy on a daily basis just have little sense of
agency. This isn't meant to blame those people; many people are told to follow
their dreams by adults who have given up on their own dreams. Few people are
explicitly taught how to follow their dreams.

~~~
reinhardt
And then there's those of us who never really had anything resembling a
lifelong dream in the first place. Calling it boredom is an understatement,
sounds more like acedia.

------
jetxs
Forking the list: Don't tie your dreams to objects; work enough to keep you
satisfied; don't be an arrogant prick; build effective relationships; be
happy.

------
apu
I think tlb perhaps disagrees: <http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1644285>

------
dmvaldman
I'm glad PG is finding the time to write essays more frequently. Maybe this is
a result of finding the time to do the things that make him happier.

------
davemel37
More importantly and likely implicit...

"Have Dreams, Work Hard, Think for Yourself, Speak Up, Be Friendly...and you
will live a happy and productive life!"

------
alexro
The best concise system to avoid having these 5 regrets I've heard of is 'SSS'
: sport, sex, sleep. Everything else is optional.

------
chj
Only successful people can say "don't work too much." The cruel reality is
success comes from hard and overtime work.

------
slackwalker
"We're making the same mistakes we made 1,000 years ago. So they must be the
right ones. So relax." -Chuck Palahniuk

------
Sargis
Does it really matter if you die unhappy?

------
endlessvoid94
I have a similar message that gets echoed ever time I open my shell. It's the
journey, not the destination.

------
lbs
When I die, I hope I won't regret not spending enough time with my family.
This is a reminder for me.

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Kilimanjaro
Dream, relax, express, love, enjoy.

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adrianwaj
"Don't ignore your dreams"

Especially re-occurring ones, but the first step is to remember your dreams.

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AznHisoka
I wonder which 1 of the 5 mistakes PG is least likely to make.

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Mc_Big_G
Agreed, however my wake up alarm its named "Now or Never".

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astrofinch
Or you could work to end aging.

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robertk
Hi from hell! Good list y'all.

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shawnwall
That list is now in my .plan

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latj
Hey! Paul Graham uses a text file as a todo list like me!

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robertk
Hi from hell

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username3
repent and be baptized in the name of the Messiah

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hackermom
So, can you offer me and everyone else a nice job that makes all of this
possible? That makes it possible to NOT be a cog? Or is this just another set
of advice that only the privileged ones can afford to heed...

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adgar
Hunter S. Thompson is the only one who had it right.

> Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
> safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside
> in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly
> proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

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DavidAbrams
6\. Use hypens when you spell "to-do list".

