
The Delightful Perversity of Québec's Catholic Swear Words - auxym
http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-delightful-perversity-of-quebecs-catholic-swears?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=atlas-page
======
alasano
First time seeing my province on HN. Swearing in Québec feels like an
extension of your body and even the most well spoken people give in to the
treat that are our swear words. I'm always reminded of this quote from the
Matrix trilogy (although relating to French from France).

Merovingian: _Yes, of course, who has time? Who has time? But then if we do
not ever take time, how can we ever have time? Chiteau Haut-Brion 1959,
magnificent wine, I love French wine, like I love the French language. I have
sampled every language, French is my favourite - fantastic language,
especially to curse with. Nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de
saloperies de connards d 'enculis de ta mire. You see, it's like wiping your
ass with silk, I love it._

~~~
kspaans
I'm roughly a quarter French-Canadien and grew up in North-Eastern Ontario
near the border. My french education has been a blend of Parisian and
Québecois. I remember taking a very enlightening french class at UWaterloo:
FR373 History of French-English Bilingualism. My favourite anecdote was of
French tourists visiting Québec after it was "rediscovered" by France, and
being surprised when their sex-based swears didn't phase the Canadians and
similarly the church-based swears didn't bother the French.

~~~
alasano
Profane Symbiosis, it's the root of our relationship with the french people.

------
spudlyo
My favorite curse comes by way of _Maledicta_ which is a scholarly journal on
verbal aggression. If I recall this particular curse was Hungarian in origin.
This curse is sexual, scatalogical, and blasphemous. If you are offended by
such things, I'd suggest you read no further.

"Oh Lord, why are you slapping me with your cock, which is covered in shit
from fucking Jesus!?"

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jordigh
C'est beau le joual!

[http://mononc.com/chanson/le-joual/](http://mononc.com/chanson/le-joual/)

A funny thing to observe, as the article notes: the verb "fuck" will be
conjugated in French, as attested by "fucké" in the lyrics above, but it's not
really a big deal in French. It's not taboo language like "tabarnak" is.

One thing the article says is that the cursing is completely meaningless. It
is not. For example, "câlisser" as a verb means to throw something violently:

[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/c%C3%A2lisser](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/c%C3%A2lisser)

This isn't interchangeable with other taboo words. I don't think tabarnak even
has a verb form.

~~~
realo
Yes, tabarnak has a verb form:

"Je vais t'en tabarnaker une si tu continues." e.g. "I will (provide you
violently) a punch you if you continue."

tabarnaker: to do with violence

~~~
jordigh
Neat! I didn't know! Your Wiktionary needs you!

[https://fr.wiktionary.org/wiki/tabarnaker](https://fr.wiktionary.org/wiki/tabarnaker)

But that does sound interchangeable with câlisse, then, isn't it? You can't
say "je vais te tabarnaker" avec le même sens qu'avec "câlisser" (sans les
mots "en" et "une", je veux dire).

~~~
realo
Well... it is a bit more complicated than that...

"Câlisse-moi patience" : leave me alone

"J'ai décalissé le char" : I wrecked the car

"Tabarnak-moi patience" : NOT USED. NO ONE SAYS THAT.

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carlob
FWIW some other catholic countries have beautiful blasphemous profanities:
Italy and Spain come to mind, but I'm pretty sure Poland has some too.

In Italy profanities that attack religion are so pretty much a taboo that is
weird to foreigners: you can have a prime time tv show with full frontal
nudity and some violence, but you will not hear swearing against god until
after midnight.

Edited to reflect a comment by gattilorenz

~~~
gattilorenz
I don't think the description of the italian situation is quite correct: it
seems to me that "regular" profanity is much less censored, nowadays.

On the other hand, "blasphemous" profanity (swearing at $DEITY) is still a no-
no, even after midnight, and a sure way to get suspended from TV, even though
you can easily hear people on the street saying that aloud in some regions
(for example Tuscany, Veneto, Trentino and Friuli).

By the way, in Trentino we also say "osti" (host) as a plain exclamation,
exactly as in Québec.

~~~
carlob
You're right, when I wrote profanity, I meant blasphemous profanity not
scatological or sexual profanity. I'll edit my comment. Thanks

------
fungos
As an immigrant that have chosen Québec, I can say that one of the various
reasons why I've chose this province (and city for the matter) is this
distancing from religion and as a bonus the catholic bad words.

I simple love it and I love the history of how this come to be. But tabarnak,
even after some years here I'm not able to use it naturally. The english words
always get out instinctively, even english being my third language!

~~~
olalonde
Even if it doesn't sound natural we like it when you try (especially the swear
words) :)

~~~
t1m
I am an anglo who speaks french (like an anglo) and don't think I have amused
my Quebecois friends more than when I used 'tabernouche' in a conversation.

It's a bit of a pro-tip for anglos - you can sound a bit crass going full-on
tabernak calise etc., but droping the 'tabernouche' with anglo accent wins
every time.

~~~
justratsinacoat
>I am an anglo who speaks french (like an anglo) and don't think I have amused
my Quebecois friends more than when I used 'tabernouche' in a conversation

This makes sense to me. A summer job I once had featured a very clever Polish
émigré who was still basically learning English. At one point, he was
furiously angry (after having dropped a heavy and expensive yet eminently
breakable object on his foot) and shouted "GULL DANGIT" in the manner of
actually swearing.

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dghf
> ... and should you get in trouble with the law, it's going to be time to
> find a Francophile lawyer.

Maybe, but a francophone one would be more immediate use.

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jstoiko
"Little" correction: the word "Enculé" is a more specific kind of "Fucked", it
means "Fucked in the ass". It has the word "cul" in it which means "ass".

------
tormeh
As a Norwegian, I find English profanity to be pretty tame. It all means the
same, but I think we have more pathos: "May the devil take you" and "go hang
yourself" has to be the highlights....

~~~
pcrh
The English are masters of the subtle insult, though. This is usually
illustrated by quoting Churchill, for example:

Bessie Braddock to Churchill -- "Winston, you're drunk!"

Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"

Edit: there was a great one on TV yesterday, one politician was commenting on
the former London Mayor Boris Johnson's stance in the upcoming referendum on
the UK's continued membership of the EU and said: "He is far too intelligent
to believe what he said."

[http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-eu-
referendum-36401104](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-eu-
referendum-36401104)

~~~
sheraz
Agreed -- the Brits are in a class of their own when it comes to wit. They can
tell you to fuck off, and you are actually happy to do so :-)

~~~
pcrh
There you go, quoting Churchill :-)

Winston S. Churchill — 'Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell
in such a way that they ask for directions.'

~~~
david-given
Ooh! Ooh! Churchill quotations!

Lady Astor: "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."

Winston Churchill: "Madame, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

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B1FF_PSUVM
> "For example, ma blonde means 'my girlfriend.'"

As in "Auprés de ma blonde, qu'il fait bon, fait bon", e.g.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjEIVO9Xitk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjEIVO9Xitk)

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john_fushi
Some songs to practice hearing the sacres :
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM05U9rHdwY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM05U9rHdwY)
\- Fourrer
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2sClLoRFOM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2sClLoRFOM)
\- Enfant de Chienne
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daE5bOnYNNY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daE5bOnYNNY)
\- god bless the topless
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3Ol8wIYoPQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3Ol8wIYoPQ)
\- la petite grenouille

~~~
john_fushi
And a more 'meta' song on the subject :
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgiNoNqYXMA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgiNoNqYXMA)

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fanf2
The film "Bon Cop Bad Cop" has a great scene in which the Quebec cop explains
to the Toronto cop how to swear properly. Sadly it is dufficult to get a copy
of the film with subtitles that do justice to the script, especially in the
UK.

~~~
justinnhli
Here's the clip in question:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U72QVCgh_Q](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U72QVCgh_Q)

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SFJulie
It's not merde, it's mârde.

Y' devrait me donner une piasse pour ça. Kâlisse de saint Simonach.

Btw piasse is pronounced between a pièce (coin in french) and piastre (spanish
ancient money) that was used a lot by smugglers.

And tabernâk, he forgot to speak about the "pot" (prounouced pote).

An old quebecan band with english subtitles to improve your quebecan :)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5gidM31MCM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5gidM31MCM)

~~~
cornelius747
When you said old I was expecting Offenbach or Beau Dommage not Les Colocs. I
can't believe it's been 17 years. RIP Dédé.

~~~
SFJulie
Sometimes I miss Montréal and the music. I am back in Europa, and I long for
the live music in this place.

Is this song
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuHODi3Ry2o](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuHODi3Ry2o)
Acceptable for the right pronounciation? Grim Skunk- Mange d'la marde

Montréal is fortunately underrated (except by some maudit f....), I hope it
will never become the new San Francisco.

~~~
cornelius747
GrimSkunk is quintessential quebecois through and through. They're rolling
their r's a bit more than is usual for effect, the song has a humorous tone. I
really hope we don't become like San Francisco either, but the hipsterisation
of the city is very palpable, unfortunately. The music scene is still as
awesome as ever though.

------
mattdeboard
Hey I know some related but irrelevant trivia!

"Ostia" is a curse in Spain, with the same etymology as the "osti" et al. in
the article.

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Globz
Vive le Québec Tabarnak!!! If only we could get better politicians and move
forward instead of being stuck in infinite corruption.

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sxcurry
I grew up in Quebec, speaking English, but can still hear my friends with
their "maudit tabarnak" and "sacre bleu".

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plugh123
So, if these are the same words that apply to Catholic worship, do the priests
have to use euphemisms for tabernacle and host?

~~~
jfabre
Not really (I don't go to church). All swear words are pronounced differently
from the actual word (see 'joual' on google). The priest (or anybody else) can
say the word in proper french and it won't be heard as a swear word.

Also, I think it has to do with how you use the word. When it's a noun, it's
pretty clear that you're not swearing.

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shermanyo
Lived with a Canadian, can confirm.

I still mutter "tabarnak" when I drop something in the kitchen :P

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tosseraccount
zounds crikey blimey godamit gadzooks egad darn

English ha[s,d] the same thing.

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GnarfGnarf
Hostie d'tabarnak d'enfant d'chienne de calisse de saint-ciboire de crisse de
trou d'cul...

~~~
cornelius747
Hostie de calisse de mongol de tabarnak d'épais de crisse de sacrament de trou
de viarge!

~~~
alasano
Can't forget the polite yet still religious based versions.

Being very mad --> Être en saint s'il-vous-plaît

