
Ask HN: Burned out.  How can I make the most of a sabbatical leave? - PostBurnout
I was in denial about burnout for a long time, thinking that it was something that I just have to push myself through, and everything would be okay when it's over.  But I recently read the description from jacquesm (http://jacquesmattheij.com/Are+you+suffering+from+burn-out) and it hit me hard. I'm in a state of shock over how much control I've ceded to this madness.  Now the work is winding down, many co-workers have left for greener pastures, and my productivity is asymptotically approaching zero.<p>I've just asked my boss for a 1-year sabbatical, but I haven't chosen a start date for it, and I'm already suffering from analysis paralysis over what to do.  I'm not ready for a new job or project -- I'm in no shape to work.  I could travel, but my problems will just follow me around the world.  I could volunteer, but I'm so emotionally empty that there's no heart for me to pour anywhere.  I could do anything... and yet I'm somehow mentally and physically exhausted from doing little more than clock-watching and perfunctory bullshit (I wasn't this way before and can't believe that I've descended to this).<p>I don't have any goals or plans (or if I ever did, I've long since forgotten them).  The perfect opportunity could be staring me in the face and I wouldn't notice it, or I'd talk myself out of it for fear of screwing it up.<p>Meanwhile, I've been self-medicating with classical music, long walks along the beach, science fiction novels, Internet addiction, and LOTS of sleep (9+ hours/day).  It numbs the pain a bit, but otherwise doesn't seem to be helping.<p>Even more disturbing is that lately I've noticed myself engaging in perverse escape fantasies about what I might do (and then I'd catch myself and have a <i>Who are you kidding?!</i> moment):<p>- I'd ride my bike across the continent from Vancouver to Halifax (<i>I don't own a bicycle and haven't ridden one in years</i>)<p>- I'd travel to Antarctica and cuddle with penguins (<i>I'm complaining about the unbearable winter cold in Southern California</i>)<p>- I'd join a grassroots protest movement and bring down oppressive regimes (<i>I'm too scared even to donate to Wikileaks</i>)<p>- I'd dedicate myself to volunteer work in the places of the world most in need of help (<i>I don't even pick up the litter I see on the street, and my lifetime charitable contributions total to less than US $1000</i>)<p>- I'd earn a PhD, publish papers in prestigious journals, and achieve a research breakthrough (<i>I flunked a couple of classes during college and probably survived my M.S. due to grade inflation</i>)<p>- I'd found a startup, make products and services that people love, build überscale infrastructure using ultracool tech, and cash out for a fortune (<i>I can't even refactor this putrid pile of Java in front of me</i>)<p>- I'd become a virtuoso musician, competitive athlete, bestselling author, award-winning chef, whatever (<i>I've spent the last 10 years working to become a better programmer and I still suck</i>)<p>- I'd disappear into some misty mountain in a remote part of the world and live out my days as an ascetic hermit (<i>I'm here on HN begging for advice like a whiny, attention-seeking brat</i>)<p>And so I stop.  These aren't real goals; I recognize them as daydreaming.  I'm already defeated before I've even begun.<p>What I think I need is some time to do some serious soul-searching, and I doubt that a mere change of employment or environment is sufficient, since true change has to come from within.  But anything more specific than that and I'm lost.<p>What I fear is that I might just be fundamentally lazy, and my lack of a plan will doom me to failure, whereupon I'll spend the rest of my life as damaged goods, unmotivated, unproductive, unemployable, unwanted and useless.<p>I'm not looking for sympathy. I just hope someone can kick some sense into me, help me see the light, and make best use of my time to recover.
======
SandB0x
Do you have a wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend? Are you tied down to
anything? Do you have money to travel? I'm going to assume you're a single
male between the age of 25 and 35.

The right ideas will slowly come to you, but getting some perspective is
essential and that's not going to come from sitting in your apartment staring
at your laptop. The two things I suggest are:

* Exercise. Mens sana in corpore sano. Lift some weights. Run, cycle. Anything. Be yourself, only better (as seen on a t-shirt). You will not believe how much regular exercise will change your state of mind.

* Travel. Get out of town. Get out of your hole. Get some perspective. Even if you just go to stay with some relatives in another city for a few weeks. If you can afford the flights, go somewhere warm and cheap and bask in the sun like a lizard. Meet some strangers. Make friends. Talk to girls. Read, eat, drink.

I wish you the best of luck, and please let us know how you get on.

Edit: I also really, really recommend reading Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. It
will definitely help shape your thoughts, and it's a very quick read.

~~~
PostBurnout
_Do you have a wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend? Are you tied down to
anything? Do you have money to travel? I'm going to assume you're a single
male between the age of 25 and 35._

Correct on all counts -- nothing tying me down, and my rainy day fund can keep
me fed, clothed, and sheltered for years.

I actually get a decent amount of exercise -- minimum 40 minutes per day, I'd
estimate. It certainly has plenty of benefits, but the energy seems to
evaporate once I get down in front of my keyboard again.

I definitely can go out and change things, but I think my mindset is holding
me back. It's almost like I would be doing with the expectation that this
would "fix" me, and that anything short of that would be a waste.

Yes, yes, I know I'll regret the things I didn't do. But I fear that I'm
setting myself up for failure this way with unrealistic expectations.

~~~
kareemm
> but the energy seems to evaporate once I get down in front of my keyboard
> again.

The internet is a great tool to avoid self-reflection.

Generally, if something saps your energy whenever you use it, that's a good
sign to use it less.

> I think my mindset is holding me back.

Only one person can change this, and it ain't any of us on HN :)

> It's almost like I would be doing with the expectation that this would "fix"
> me, and that anything short of that would be a waste.

Try letting go of this expectation - they just set you up for failure. Go get
away from your keyboard (travel) and enjoy yourself, and trust that
perspective and insight will come.

~~~
PostBurnout
_The internet is a great tool to avoid self-reflection._

Ow. That hurt. (But thanks, I'll definitely use that quote in the future!)

~~~
Mz
Not disagreeing with the original point, but will offer another possibility:
If you aren't well, it's easy to zone out in front of the computer. I have
done lots and lots of this while very sick. I do less of it now that I am
healthier. (If you are smart and not really well, the internet is a good way
to get some of the mental stimulation you crave when you are too out of it to
go get more of a life.) And if your keyboard is not clean enough, this can sap
your energy. I wipe my keyboard down when I first get to work and we wipe our
keyboards down repeatedly at home before someone gets on it. For me, this
makes a difference in ability to focus and not simply zone out. Getting rid of
an older, dirtier computer and getting a brand new one also has meant that I
spend a lot less time mindlessly piddling on the internet.

Peace and good luck.

------
kabuks
After my burnout, I quit my job at Microsoft. Rented my house. Paid $2000 for
a bright orange vw bus, and drove south.

I ended up at Esalen for almost 6 months in their work/study program

<http://www.esalen.org/workshops/workstudy.html>

I worked in an organic garden overlooking the pacific picking/planting food
that we ate the same day for 32 hours a week.

And had cheap access to incredible massage/yoga/healing programs, and the
support of intelligent and conscious people who were also trying to find their
center again.

Best thing I ever did, and I highly recommend it.

My advice: Give yourself time. I believe we are all fundamentally good and
have the will and energy to work and express ourselves in the world.
Sometimes, it's ok to rest and step back, and find our grounding again. Give
yourself that permission.

------
ebiester
I've taken two. The first one (10 months) I met my boyfriend, spent a couple
weeks in Paris, and generally did nothing of importance. It's exactly what I
needed. That's okay!

The second one (8 months), I tried a startup but didn't get far. (I am not the
type for a large solo project.) I spent two months in Turkey. I wrote a third
of a novel (that I'm still working on.) I worked on learning Turkish.

Honestly, I'm not ashamed that I didn't do anything of major value. I found
true love, that was enough for me. :)

~~~
Confusion

      did nothing of importance
    

I think this one is very good advice. Allow yourself to do nothing you
consider important and don't feel guilty about 'wasting time' or any of that.

------
peregrine
_I'd found a startup, make products and services that people love, build
überscale infrastructure using ultracool tech, and cash out for a fortune (I
can't even refactor this putrid pile of Java in front of me)_

The reason you can't re-factor the pile java in front of you is because you
don't really care about it. If its a startup and something you own, something
you create then its likely to be easier to get yourself to work on it. And the
code will be new and not carry all the horrible baggage that old java tends
to.

You discount yourself too much, you clearly are smart, and you clearly are a
hard worker(otherwise why would your boss let you go for a year) and you
clearly know a thing or two about things you care about. Get out and do
something, anything -you- care about.

------
Tichy
Maybe you should do one of these things, as it sounds like you have some
serious self esteem issues. I bet you you could manage to get a bicycle and
even manage to ride it. There are people running marathons without any
preparation, after all (not that I'd recommend that, but I don't know).

I've discussed my problem with a fellow procrastinator recently and we agreed
that this feeling of "I won't finish what I start anyway" was a major
contributing factor.

Granted, some things on your list sound easier than others. Namely the bicycle
thing. I suppose you need some planning for such a big project. On the other
hand, if you just jump into it, you'll probably figure out quickly what you
need. If you have some money left, you can always just stop at some bicycle
gear shop by the road and get what you need.

And even if you fail (take a flight home), it doesn't seem like such a
catastrophe.

You could combine the bicycle thing with the grassroots protest by simply
claiming that you are "cycling for cause X" (I never understood those, but
lot's of people do that and it seems to work). Hm, maybe I could eat chocolate
to help save the whales?

A startup could work, if you chose something else than Java. But it might be
more beneficial to do something entirely different than your day job.

------
yesno
Travel.

1) Your problem will be there for a few days but will most likely be forgotten
in weeks.

2) Bring a notebook, write your journeys in detail. The food you eat, the tea
you drink.

3) Observe local culture.

4) Take a lot of pictures.

Basically, try to forget your day job.

If you travel, I'd suggest you to go to Asia (Japan, Korea, China, India, and
SE. Asia countries such as Malaysia, Singapore, and Indonesia). Go to a place
with rich culture. Spend a few weeks or even months there.

Those pictures and stories would hopefully make you feel better on your gloomy
days.

I've been living in North America for almost 10 years (in particular
Vancouver) and the cities get boring quickly. Lack of personality and culture.
Asia is completely different; more vibrant.

More importantly: change your perspective on how to live life.

------
ngom
I have read the great suggestions written so far - exercise, travel, etc.
Great, I hope something hits the mark.

I have two things to suggest. I hope they help. If I'm being blunt, I
apologise.

1\. Simplify your thinking.

If you have a habit of overly abstract thought, you can make problems more
complicated than they need to be. You could say it's a bit like spiritual java
programming.

For instance, aims such as "become a virtuoso musician" don't mean anything.
They lack concreteness. "become ascetic monk on mountain top". Also
intangible.

You say you recognise them as daydreaming. But your whole way of thinking is
daydreaming - "What I think ..", "What I fear ...", "doom", "failure". All
abstract daydreaming. Do something about it. Stop daydreaming.

Make a promise to yourself: you will reject thoughts that don't have a
tangible aspect you can act on immediately. They are tiring you. Let your
brain rest awhile. And if you have to think about problems, think about other
peoples' problems not your own.

That means real, tangible people. It could be anyone. This is not a moral
injunction. It's practical - if you look to see how you can help other people
it requires empathy and if you develop empathy you start to see other patterns
of thought. It may help you see different ways of thinking and get you out of
your rut.

Only think a few days in advance. Reject all thoughts of the future for a
while.

2\. Tone down the ambition.

You imagine a virtuouso musician or some epic bike journey, some massive
startup. Therefore anything you _actually_ you do seems crap in comparison -
attempts noodling on the piano or going for a small bike ride around the
neighbourhood seem silly. Trivial. Pointless. Why bother? Stop comparing
yourself and your life to your daydreams (see point 1).

I write this because this is what helped me. Please ignore it if it doesn't
feel right.

Best of luck, I wish you all the best.

~~~
PostBurnout
Please do be blunt! I'm more than willing to have my feelings hurt to learn
something that may be helpful here.

That said, I did give a very long and audible sigh when reading your post. It
feels like a cop out, but perhaps one day I'll have to accept my own
mediocrity.

~~~
ngom
What is mediocrity, in your world view?

I hazard a guess that it's failing to live up to what you imagine. And then
you feel like a failure. Mediocre. And when you give up, you feel like it's a
cop-out.

It seems that you interpreted what I wrote through a filter of that sort of
thinking. When I suggested that you give up on your current pattern of
thinking you tell me it feels like a cop-out. It's the same pattern, as far as
I can tell.

What you're dreaming up are intangible, speculative things with no basis in
reality. That's fine if you feel good about it. But I don't think you do. You
seem to be rejecting it on various levels.

What I am saying is link your thinking to tangibles. Test your ideation
against reality. Stop pondering monks on misty mountain tops for a while. If
you could imagine those monks with any clarity, you would already have had the
experience. Instead - go and talk to monks. Go and visit mountain tops. Fill
your mind with new experience.

Don't ponder this any further. Just take the first steps to seeking out new
experiences.

Hopefully that makes some sense.

Again - all the best.

------
quadrant6
I'm in a similar situation. I haven't left work and can't afford to but came
very close to quitting even though I had nothing else to go to, just because
it was making me sick and so stressed.

I still plan to leave but now am at a point where things are more manageable
so I have time to plan what I'll change my career to. Whereas 1-2yrs ago, I
was feeling very low, totally tired all the time, quite depressed etc.

Here are my 2 cents and what helped me:

• Try and find a girlfriend, online dating can be useful. Failing that a
female travel partner. This is a big one and made a huge difference for me.
The first girl I meet was really not right for me, I mean we had nothing in
common but it didn't matter. It's all experience. I regret now not taking
opportunities to meet girls earlier when I could have, just because I was
scared.

• Travel is good, yes your problems will be with you but you will be seriously
distracted, forced to look at new things, experience new things and gain new
perspectives. I personally don't think it matters where you go. If it were me,
I'd go to a few different places with a rough idea but try to avoid planning
too much (like me, that probably goes against your nature!).

• Give the computer a break.

• Exercise is all good and necessary but not the key in itself. Though I can
reccomend surfing - I started to learn and even though I totally suck, there
is something about it. The message is: if you can find a form of exercise you
really enjoy, so much the better,

• Don't be afraid to party sometimes, perhaps you don't have the sort of
friends to do this with right now. But if you get the opportunity to go out,
have a good time and get drunk do it (occasionally).

• Meditation: yep, mindfulness. Try getting some books on Zen, Adviata or by
Krishnamurti.

------
websockr
Work on filling your emotional (motivational etc whatever you want to call it)
gas tank and develop a process to keep the energy coming in the same as the
energy going out.

How I've found that people (myself included) get into burnout is that they
work their hardest on things with no positive emotional feedback. (such as
completing a physics phd or dare I say programming for a startup pre-launch)
Its not about toughness or anything here, that "some people just cant cut it."
What is going is that the people that stay afloat have family, friends,
hobbies and fun to keep them going.

What I would do is the following:

1\. Identify the things emptying your gas tank (programming is extremely
taxing after long periods of time)

2\. Identify the things filling your gas tank (... as I said earlier ...
friends, family, hobbies and fun with them)

3\. Make sure you are working out, eating right and sleeping decent hours. (if
your body's hormonal systems are going to be a help not a hurt they need to be
taken care of)

4\. Work on adjusting your balance much towards the fun stuff for a while and
less from the draining stuff.

5\. Slowly integrate some more draining stuff making sure the filling stuff
isn't coming in faster on average.

I've burned out before, and this is how I got out of it. I wish you the best
of luck here and hope to follow your way out.

------
ankeshk
1\. Join the slow movement.

<http://www.slowmovement.com/>

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_Movement>

2\. Meet a lot of new folks. Find meetups happening that have nothing to do
with your field. Buy lunch to one new person everyday and have long
conversations. Go on a road trip maybe to meet and connect with all your old
college friends.

3\. Read good fiction. Read magazines that have nothing to do with your
interests.

4\. Travel. But without fix leaving dates. Slow leisure travel.

5\. Eat healthy. Exercise. Sleep well.

Inspiration for this post taken from the quote:

"There are four ways to know much: live for many years; travel through many
lands; read many good books; and converse with wise friends." \- Baltasar
Gracián

~~~
PostBurnout
Wow, that's an interesting link. I can't figure out how to make this slow
stuff work yet, but it definitely looks appealing.

------
clarkevans
Take 2 weeks off. Do _nothing_. Meditate. Breathe. Plant Flowers. Take long,
exceptionally pointless walks -- if you find yourself thinking about anything,
stop, and look up at the clouds till you recover.

~~~
socksy
And get rid of the huge sleep deficit that everyone in the western working
world appears to have accumulated. 9+ hours might seem a lot, and you might
feel like you're wasting time - but really it's your body trying to catch up.
Let it.

------
petervandijck
"I could travel, but my problems will just follow me around the world."

They might look and feel different though.

~~~
PostBurnout
You know... that sounds simple and cheesy, but I think it might just be what I
need to regain my curiosity. Thank you!

~~~
petervandijck
Cheesy advice is the best advice :)

------
_corbett
Retire early and often is my motto. I've now been through my third (fourth?)
sabbatical. My advice: keep yourself busy but allow for spontaneity, you don't
have to pack it all into one sabbatical, and multitask in your actions (i.e.
you can choose activities and locations that fulfill several fun things you've
been meaning to try). Realize that it's not a picnic and even if you sit at
home it's going to be _tough_ ; you don't go through personal growth without
some pain.

For ideas (and possibly even inspiration) of what might be possible in a few
sabbaticals: I took a year in Denmark between high school and college, learned
Danish, how to paint, and toured Germany with an orchestra playing the
clarinet (which I had also just learned). I also developed a taste in music by
going through an entire library's worth of records in alphabetical order among
other adventures, including backpacking on my own for some months.

I took a year between my undergrad and my Master's, in which I worked for a
software project I was passionate about, traveled the Middle East, taught
programming in Jerusalem to Palestinian high school students, and studied
Arabic and Topology at Harvard.

I took a year between my Master's and beginning my PhD, in which I worked as
an astronomer in Switzerland, founded a startup in the bay area, and did a
ridiculous amount of traveling stateside.

In addition I've taken a few month(s) here and there... moved to the Arctic to
work for a startup, to Egypt to scuba dive and study Arabic, etc.

Think positive and big! Best of luck in your adventures! BTW I am not rich or
independently wealthy, just was very creative out of necessity at finding
external funding sources. All of the above were self-financed in this manner.

~~~
keeptrying
Hi, Could you elaborate. I'm sure a lot of people would find the information
you have useful.

How did you make money? What tips do you have for people who are about to do
this? How did you deal with the loneliness of solo travel? Or is this just in
my head?

~~~
_corbett
Sure, for my first adventure I found a loophole in some money I was getting as
the result of my father's early and tragic death (when I was 6 leaving my mom
destitute) wherein it would continue as long as I was in high school. When I
did an exchange year in Denmark as a highschool student, even though I had
already graduated in the states, the money kept coming. It wasn't a lot (on
the order of $10k/year) but enough as I stayed with a host family in Denmark
who largely covered my living expenses (room and board).

For my second gap year I got two companies with great projects in a bidding
war, negotiated a signing bonus and a later starting date to help me make my
choice, then traveled on the time and the bonus.

Other ones have similar stories, finding some scholarships, funds, loopholes,
using one project to fund another etc.

I didn't always travel alone, although I've done my fair share of travel on my
own. I deal with it by mixing it up and being pretty self actualized. Denmark
was the toughest, I've been watching the Big Bang theory recently and having
some flashbacks to how socially awkward I used to be. I'm still awkward but
going through lots of traveling, meeting new people, etc has made me a lot
more of a well rounded person.

My biggest tip is to think holistically, this will help with not only
financing but using your time well. For example, when I decided to move to
Egypt on no funds I first made a mental list of _why_ and _what_ I wanted to
do there. One of the things on the list was to learn Arabic, and my funds
eventually came from a scholarship directed at that, although I used the funds
to finance everything on my list.

------
commanda
I recommend that you see a therapist. My therapist's practice is mindfullness-
based, which I highly recommend. One of the things I've learned is how to look
at all my own italicized parenthetical statements as the bullshit excuses they
are. The monkey-mind is what's making up all those stories that you tell
yourself about why X is impossible -- it's telling you that you can't possibly
found a startup because you've had difficulties refactoring some Java? Come on
now. Just pick one of those goals and go for it. Don't pay attention to any of
your excuses.

A wise friend once told me "If someone else can do it, you can totally do it."

~~~
PostBurnout
I'm actually quite aware that I'm distorting things with these "bullshit
excuses" but they seem so believable, much more so than their negation! It'll
probably take deliberate practice to unlearn this habit.

~~~
gcheong
A good intro to see if a mindfulness based approach resonates with you is "The
Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris. <http://www.thehappinesstrap.com/>.

------
electromagnetic
In my opinion you've probably worked too long and pushed too hard in a job
that doesn't let your brain shut off. I get into similar situations when I'm
focusing on my writing, I get to the point that I just can't shut my brain
off. I'll resort to trying to relax, but I end up reading news and doing
things that just keep my brain in that point of over exertion.

I resort to physical work, it still requires me to keep my focus but it
doesn't require me to think nearly as much, in fact I'll find myself zoning
out completely. I hand wash dishes and it gets me into the same zone where I
don't have to think for 30-minutes.

If you've got property and you'll have no work commitments I would suggest
learning how to maintain your property, there's lots of physical work that
will release your mind and keep you away from things (IE technology) that will
keep your mind in that exhausted state.

Build a shed, you'd be surprised how difficult it is to actually get it to sit
level. You'll have to work the ground, then frame it and then side the walls
and shingle the roof. It can be especially daunting if you've never done this
sort of work, but it may be worth it to learn because not only is there
economic benefits (IE you can do the work yourself rather than pay the 6x mark
up companies charge from the cost of materials for this work) but 5 years down
the line when you start recognizing you're feeling a bit burnt out you could
use the skills you've learnt to put up a fence or something.

Physical work also has the added benefit that it helps your diet and
metabolism, both of which can contribute to that burnout feeling. I'm not
saying your diet will improve, I'm saying you're likely to end up eating more
protein and fat, which certainly helps me. I always get into that burn-out
feeling when I start eating more carbs.

~~~
PostBurnout
I appreciate your suggestion, though I think I'm in deeper trouble than that.
Mindless physical work like gardening seems to free up cycles for me to
ruminate, which I have to actively suppress (à la "He took a duck in the face
at 250 knots" --
[http://books.google.com/books?id=-O3r6D1KutAC&pg=PT36...](http://books.google.com/books?id=-O3r6D1KutAC&pg=PT36&dq=%22he+took+a+duck+in+the+face+at%22&hl=en&ei=XjlYTaLkA8K78gaSoYS2Bw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CCcQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=%22he%20took%20a%20duck%20in%20the%20face%20at%22&f=false)).

------
mbesto
Travel - Go somewhere that makes zero sense. It will make sense when you get
there and when you leave.

Athletics - Pick something that is so far out of your reach that it doesn't
make sense why you would do it. For example, I just signed up for a double-
marathon without having ever done a marathon first.

~~~
PostBurnout
That's kind of scary. How would I know that I'm not setting myself up for
failure by putting up an impossible goal like that?

~~~
kareemm
Have you considered that doing something scary might be a good thing?

~~~
PostBurnout
Yes, but I've also considered that I might be a total wimp. Ugh.

~~~
frevd
I recently bought this book and it might be of help since it is explaining
exactly the causes (and treatment) of negative self-talk.

Not sure whether I can post recommendations here (I'm not affiliated), but
since it was already recommended here at HN and just in case you want to check
it out, it's called "The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming
Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play" by Neil A. Fiore, and it seems
to have helped a lot of people.

------
techiferous
Diagnose what is causing your burnout.

Is it your own beliefs and attitudes about work? If so, changing jobs won't
help. Are your work responsibilities so large that you don't have time or
mental energy for other things in your life? If so, changing jobs would help.
Is your diet messing with your brain chemistry? If so, changes in your diet
would help. If the causes of your burnout are in the circumstances of your
job, then the sabbatical will only help temporarily. Coming back to the job
will reintroduce the causes and you'll see the effects of burnout again.

If you are able to diagnose the causes well, sometimes only small changes are
needed to ameliorate the problem. If you don't diagnose well, you may end up
making a large change without much positive effect.

For the past two years I've been in the habit of tracking my mood every half-
day along with a short sentence or two of what was going on. This process has
been great in getting me in touch with what tends to stress me out or make me
happy. I'd recommend starting a habit like this.

------
Mz
With sleeping nine hours a day and wondering if you are just "lazy", let me
suggest that you look at your health as a possible root cause. I was diagnosed
late in life with a relatively mild form of a serious, life-threatening
medical condition. I was called "lazy" my whole life because I lacked the
energy of people around me. Dietary changes, lifestyle changes and such have
done a lot for my health and I am getting my life back.

Also, I was a homemaker for a long time. I didn't join the "9 to 5" club until
relatively recently. Go do something with a different relationship to time. It
can be very mentally and emotionally freeing. I think that is part of the
theme of your "escapist fantasies": A completely different kind of
schedule/lifestyle/relationship to time and the world. Those can very much be
good things.

Good luck with this.

------
gcheong
"I'm not ready for a new job or project -- I'm in no shape to work. I could
travel, but my problems will just follow me around the world. I could
volunteer, but I'm so emotionally empty that there's no heart for me to pour
anywhere."

One thing that might help here is to understand that motivation generally
_follows_ action. If you wait until you feel motivated to do something you
might end up waiting a long time, or until some external pressure forces you,
or you will fall into the trap of only doing things that give you immediate
pleasures. So once you've taken care of your immediate physical needs, make
some kind of longer term goal - do that bike ride, do some charity work, start
a small project, it can be anything but do _something_.

------
random42
Travel. Explore yourself and the world. Meet new people, learn their
culture.Learn new languages. Eat new cuisines. Read other religions. See
documentaries. Watch old classics. Join an art class. Exercise. Do something
out of your comfort zone

Do NOT do _anything_ remotely close to your profession, there more to life
than picking up a new programming language to learn.

------
paydro
I would highly recommend traveling without a planned timeline. I was in a
similar state you were last August. I quit my job and booked a ticket to fly
to Madrid, Spain. I didn't have a place to stay until the day before I flew
out. This was how it went for every city I visited afterwards. I didn't book
any travel or accommodations until the day or two before. It was awesome to
take off or stay when I felt like it. It felt like I was in control of my
life.

I spent the next two months traveling through Spain, Italy, France, UK, and
Ireland. I met some of the most amazing people in my life and I still keep in
touch with them. I went running with a bull in Valencia, scuba diving for the
first time in my life in Nice, had the most amazing pizza in the world in
Naples, and got my geek on with Roman history.

At the same time, this cured my burn out. I didn't think it would, but when
you start using other parts of your brain to communicate and live with people
who don't speak your tongue your mind opens up.

I also wrote about every city I visited on my blog as a travel log of sorts
and as a way to show my friends what I was up to. I started in Boston which
you can read here: [http://paydrotalks.com/posts/103-boston-clam-chowder-pigs-
an...](http://paydrotalks.com/posts/103-boston-clam-chowder-pigs-and-road-
rash).

I wish you the best of luck. Being burnt out is a horrible state to be in, but
it's awesome that you're taking yourself out of work to treat yourself.

------
tezza
Hi. I agree with some of the others that you sound depressed as well as burnt-
out. I've also seen that you have few encumberments.

What I'd suggest is learning to surf the ocean. I don't do it personally, but
a lot of my good friends are surfers from Victoria in Australia.

There is a good perspective amongst surfers. They may wonder who the fuck you
are at first, but once you've wormed your way into their scene, they are most
welcoming.

Good luck... you need to chill out, have some wild parties and come back
refreshed.

------
eftpotrm
At the moment, you're stuck in the burnout. It's draining your energy and
enthusiasm, so you're not _going_ to have the cool ideas to go off and do
something better because your brain just isn't in the right place. If you can
afford to get away, do so, try new possibilities and see what they bring to
your mind. Getting out of the current self-fulfilling pit of despair sounds
like it'll do you good.

The only caveat I'd say is that 'travel the world while you're free and single
with no-one to tie you down might _sound_ great, but.... In personality tests
I tend to come out as an introvert but I'm fairly sure I'm actually an
extrovert with poor social skills (and hey, self awareness is the first step
to improvement...) - I know I need others around me and that that takes more
time in a new environment than for some. For me, the 'travel the world, see
the sights' advice would make me lonely and miserable in all these beautiful
places I'd spent a fortune to see. Make the most of the opportunity to do
things you wouldn't otherwise get a chance to, but be honest with yourself
about what it takes to make you happy; don't press on regardless with the
'opportunity of a lifetime' if taking it will cause you greater pain
elsewhere.

------
stanmancan
__And so I stop. These aren't real goals; I recognize them as daydreaming. I'm
already defeated before I've even begun. __

And thats where you're going wrong. There's nothing stopping you from doing a
single thing on your list besides you. Sometimes being naive about what it
will take to accomplish something is actually whats needed to do it.

Not to mention most of the things on your list, while amazing experiences,
take little more than minimal finances to do so. Pack a backpack, fly to
vancouver and buy a bike and just start riding. Plan as you go. You could be
biking across Canada by Tuesday and $1500 later if you wanted to.

Just because you don't donate money or pick up litter doesn't mean you can't
go volunteer. There's plenty of organizations online you can look up, most of
them will plan your trip from start to finish, you just put up the cash. Go
teach english somewhere, provide medical assistance, build a school.

Stop focusing on what you are(n't) doing now, and have(n't) in the past. It
takes little more than an idea or goal and the drive/desire to do it to make
it come true. Clearly you feel that who you _think_ you are right now limits
you to who you can be. That's not true at all. Do what you have to do to be
the person you want to be. You only live once, don't let anything hold you
back from being the person you want to be, and experiencing the things you've
always wanted to. Live your life with no regrets. Every day you spend thinking
"if only..." is another day wasted.

The good thing about this is you realize where you're at now and you're
actively taking steps to improve your situation. Be strong, follow your dreams
and dont get intimidated. Try and take a small step forward every day and in a
few months you'll feel like a totally different person and in a way better
place.

~~~
xenophanes
> You could be biking across Canada by Tuesday and $1500 later if you wanted
> to.

No. He needs to practice riding and get in better shape for a month or three
first. But he can start doing that tomorrow.

Don't go riding cross country without some practice first, some fitness, and
some knowledge of things like patching a flat tire.

~~~
stanmancan
> He needs to practice riding and get in better shape for a month or three
> first.

I disagree. He can bike as far as he wants each day, at whatever pace he
chooses. You don't forget how to ride a bike, he may be wobbly for the first
few minutes but he'll be cruising soon after.

Practice and fitness aren't needed. All you need to do is be able to ride. He
could start off biking 5..10...20KM per day if he wanted to and slowly build
up as he gets in better shape as long as you plan your route accordingly to
make sure you have a place to stay.

> and some knowledge of things like patching a flat tire.

This is true, but nothing you can't learn at a bike shop and a few patch
repair kits can't help with.

~~~
dagw
I read a book about some guy who decided to bike across the US. His entire
exercise before setting off consisted of one, aborted, 20 mile ride, to try
out his bike. Instead of cutting every oz. he could while packing, he packed a
fifth of Jack Daniels for the evenings. Basically he just set off across the
country on his own terms, and his own pace, and had a grand adventure crossing
the country.

------
just_testing
Hmm.... been there before. What I did: started training martial arts. 6 hours
of harsh training, every sunday. My body ached a lot during the week, but my
mind started to feel a lot clearer. Exercise: lots of it. Will allow you to
regain some of your strength. Not necessarily martial arts, looong bycicle
rides can also do the trick.

There are also some changes to the diet that may help you (started with
vitamins and eating some meat - helped to alleviate my symptons. May help with
you, may not).

But that is just a first step. You must then strive to find the causes of your
problem, only then it will disappear. Usually, heavy meditation does the
trick. If you train martial arts, your teacher may know something about it. If
you don't find anyone, there are lots of books on the subject.

Please note that whatever cure you're offered, you'd better not believe it at
first. Test it, and if it works, stick with it.

I hope what I wrote helps you. Feel free to contact me.

------
atleta
You can't figure out what to do during your sabbatical, because you're burned
out and completely unmotivated and you won't be able to find it out until it
changes. So the solution is to do nothing 'meaningful' for a while. Don't
think about projects, PhD, start ups or anything. Just take a break and do
nothing tat resembles work.

Starting wit traveling is a very good option. This is also what I did. Go to a
totally different place. A different (non-western) culture. Not to help or
work, just to be there. A lot of people go to South-East Asia. I did that too
and loved it. My thinking and problems were reduced to what to eat, where to
eat, where to sleep and what to see next.

You can do this for months. Then you may start to miss your work, you may
start to have ideas again. You'll probably miss thinking and you will find out
what to do during the rest of the leave.

------
zipdog
It sounds like your self-esteem could do with a boost. Other things may work
better, but I'd suggest getting involved in some sort of craft group (make
pottery or whatever). 1\. It's hands-on and you'll be making and creating, so
you'll get a real sense of accomplishment when, after a little while, you can
look at something you made 2\. Chose a group you feel welcomed in, and you'll
get encouragement as you learn the ropes 3\. It'll take time and some focus,
but (depending on the craft you pick) it is entirely achievable.

Otherwise, the suggestions to exercise are great. Travel is also a great idea,
but I'd say go somewhere and stay there for a week or month, get a sense of
natural rhythm and pace. Also, try and just hang out and talk with some
people, without any goals.

Good luck.

------
Jach
Go on a camping trip for a few weeks or months. Stay away from electronics.
(Maybe go visit a foreigner-friendly tribe in Africa?) Or sink into your
lowest depravities until you get sick of those and decide you want to program
again, though I can't vouch for that.

------
presidentender
You need to exercise. I specifically recommend Mark Rippetoe's "Starting
Strength," but any exercise will be good for you.

I find a meditative activity to be of some help. I enjoy rifle marksmanship,
gardening, and washing dishes.

------
mrj
Do any of those things, whatever interests you. Nobody here can tell you what
is going to hold your interest.

I'm convinced the only way to really "cure" burn-out is to change scenery and
time. It sounds like you've got both, so go do something, or do nothing at
all. It doesn't matter too much.

I know you have lots of things you're thinking about doing now, but start your
sabbatical anyway. It only takes a couple of weeks of doing nothing until
you're ready to plan -- anything -- to get out of the boredom.

Take the time, do nothing, and then decide.

------
pestaa
Reading your words almost terrified me. Just as my brain projected my thoughts
onto the wall. I consider myself an intelligent person, with plenty of time on
my hands, yet I don't find a thing I could passionately do. I have a
girlfriend for 4 years (I'm 20), I know programming languages, have a couple
startup ideas. But nothing outstanding to love.

Not sure how many people are in the world like me or us. I'd like to know how
they cope.

------
davidandgoliath
I often ran into these roadblocks around February of every year -- the same
thing. Every February I would reflect, and suddenly realize I didn't like
something (or everything) about my life and I'd make drastic changes.

* Lost ~80 pounds starting in February a few years back. 200->120\. Hovering at a healthier weight, or so the wife says. * A few years back, I had a consistent contest on one of my projects (hostjury.com) where we'd give out ipods once a month. I hand-delivered one of them ~6,000+ miles away, by car. * The next year, I got a motorcycle. February. * The next year, I moved to Vanvouer. February. * The next year, I put ~80,000+ miles on my car. February through June. Anywhom.. * Found a wife, the next. She's put me under some new limits but we're probably moving to San Diego or *.in.cali. soon. //February, again. Uhaul is cheap ;)

There isn't anything inherently wrong with having sudden desires or your mind
screaming at both your body and soul that it's in a rut. I too would highly
recommend getting some exercise.

Try doing the grouse grind a few times a week. I used to live right up at the
top of the mountain and would make my way up there each morning. It's a
beautiful way to start the day, and is a fantastic starter workout. My time
was about ~35 minutes once I got into the habit, but initially it was 1.5
hours -- so keep that in mind.

Start small. And hey, changes of scenery don't hurt either. Take a trip, wield
your vacation pay. Change your personal life, your work life will follow suit.

In the meantime, eat a bit healthier & get some more exercise. Oh, and get a
bicycle. Steed cycle is on the North Shore & that's where I bought mine. Put
~40miles a day on it in Vancouver and loved every minute of it.

------
zacharyz
Travel!

I recommend reading Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term
World Travel.

Traveling can be extremely enlightening. If for no other reason than it will
give you plenty of time to think. If you find yourself thinking about
different startup ideas (like I do when I travel) then you know you are
probably in the right line of work.

You will also open your mind up to a million other things that you probably
weren't aware of before.

------
iuguy
Go and learn you some Russian, then fly to Tokyo or Seoul, then on to either
Vladivostok or (if you don't want to do Japan or Korea first) Beijing. From
there, take the Transsiberian to Moscow, it takes 10 days non-stop, so plan
your stops in advance. It's probably the best way to travel serious time zones
and have a proper adventure unconnected to work while only having to learn one
language (on the line at least).

After seeing the sites in Moscow, head west to St. Petersburg, then through
Finland to Sweden, down to Denmark, Germany, across to the Netherlands,
through Belgium to France and get the Eurostar to the UK from Paris. After a
bit of time in the UK, get a flight from the UK to Halifax, Nova Scotia.

You are now ready to ride a bicycle to Vancouver if you so wish.

In all seriousness, anything you do even tangentially to your work will affect
your recovery from burnout. Of the escape fantasies the travel ones are the
best. Try to find something with experiences, these are things that money
can't buy. It doesn't matter where you go as long as you have fun and
experience new things.

------
frevd
same situation here, thanks for this nice description. tell you what - I'm
currently planning on abandoning my routine and go for an extended travel. the
main problem probably is to break the daily routine behaviour, it isn't easy,
but the will to do it is the first step and only requirement. if you're
suffering from computer addiction as much as i do, it's probably a good choice
to execute a "format c:" (or any likewise more physical action although i'd
consider it cruel). i decided to ignore all the seamingly enourmous
bureocratic things that should be done (e.g. getting insurance, buying stuff
you think you'd need) and go for a backpack with only those things i think are
absolutely necessary. besides this good will for a change, I constantly wonder
whether it is wise to abort the daily routine (I'm earning an awful lot doing
stupid programming jobs but only as long as I stay involved and up2date).
however, as you mentioned already, soon there will come a time when my output
approaches level0 and that's a unconcious force put up on me so I think it is
a rational choice to have a break. additionally, I don't see any future in
doing contract work without any purpose. Since there seems to be absolutely no
inspiration by waiting day by day (aka staring at the clock), the only option
is to stop making plans (an illusion after all, when did longterm speculation
ever work out) and jump into cold water, i.e. do something you are not
prepared to do and deal with any problems when they come up, not when you
anticipate them. i think this is the only possibly way to break this spiral,
since it is actually nothing else than worrying about some hypothetical
failure one might do, which is simply nonsense. so - stop wondering what might
be the best choice and decide for the very first opportunity that crosses your
mind or face, you simply cannot know in advance what new experience will bring
(however, make sure you are not being abused). my 2ct

------
drawkbox
Pick up a new platform... Java tends to drain, come back ready to learn
something new.

And if you aren't, get some more sun, by your comments, your body is probably
wanting a shift into earlier hours? Get up early and hear the birds chirping
without having to rush into an office. I think the same thing happened to me
from 28-ish to 31-ish. I went back to school and finally entered the game
industry and focused on less, just being good at that. Is there a field you
want to get into that you haven't really tried? Just do it, start now in small
goals.

Also, set some lower goals for yourself in smaller tasks and get them done
quickly. Sometimes you are tied to bigger projects that make the rush of
accomplishment numbed from the pain of larger projects if they are longer and
less driven by smaller accomplishments/releases. Control some of these on your
own.

Also, play some Red Dead Redemption or your video game of choice. They can
really help reduce stress and provide escapes to clear your head after a day
of work or when you need to shift to relax.

~~~
PostBurnout
_Pick up a new platform... Java tends to drain, come back ready to learn
something new._

I've learned several -- it's just by circumstance that Java happens to pay the
bills at the moment, though I can't say I was substantially happier when I
wasn't writing Java.

 _And if you aren't, get some more sun, by your comments, your body is
probably wanting a shift into earlier hours?_

But it's so awfully cold in the morning! (cue the criticism about lack of
willpower)

 _Also, set some lower goals for yourself in smaller tasks and get them done
quickly._

Will do. I've tried a bit of this recently but the level of satisfaction felt
disproportionately small... but that could just be my mental filter.

 _Also, play some Red Dead Redemption or your video game of choice. They can
really help reduce stress and provide escapes to clear your head after a day
of work or when you need to shift to relax._

As a former video game addict, I'm terrified of a relapse.

------
bajsejohannes
What worked for me (although I wasn't really burned out, just wanted a
sabatical):

\- On day one I was a new person. I suddenly had 8 work hours of extra energy.
No need to set aside time for relaxing (it'll quickly get boring).

\- Work on a farm. Getting up early, and really sweating for your food is
fantastic. There are general applications forms here:
[http://www.transitionsabroad.com/listings/work/shortterm/far...](http://www.transitionsabroad.com/listings/work/shortterm/farm_jobs_agriculture.shtml)

\- Travel. Everyone else has already said it, and they say it for a reason. I
pretty sure your problems won't follow you. Personally, I prefer travelling
with couchsurfing.com or airbnb.com. You meet great people there.

\- I travelled to friends around the world. Some of the greatest moments were
actually pair-programming with those who wanted to. It extremely fun and
social. None of the projects were ever completed, and it doesn't matter. :)

If you ever travel to Norway, let me know, so I can show you around.

------
methodin
The key to happiness is variety. Ignoring health, emotion, free time or work
completely in favor of another will always end disastrously. Our brain
naturally tends towards equilibrium and keeping it tipped for too long is not
worth it. It's better to take a day or a couple days off here and there when
sprinting then to let it crash and have to result in a year sabbatical. Find
something else enjoyable and focus on that until things return to normal. Once
you get grounded again make sure and pepper your life with other things that
keep you happy (for me, for instance, music, gym and grilling are the things
that keep me sane). I've been there before and realized I had been doing
myself a disservice by ignoring aspects of my life under the assumption "it
would all pay off". It might... but if it doesn't you're screwed.

------
oogali
I'm 27. I was burned out from June 2009 to January 2011. I made it out of that
funk, and will never go back.

\- Drop all timelines for recovery.

You didn't go into burnout overnight, so you're not coming out of it
overnight. I saw the warning signs of my "batteries" getting low in early
2009, but I kept pressing on at full speed because I wanted to get ahead of
the workload, and kept hoping that relief would come.

The relief didn't come, the workload increased, and my mind essentially shut
down. I felt like a zombie some days -- a zombie too down to even chase after
brains.

\- Change your scenery.

I tried to cheat by doing all the little things and hoping for immediate
results.

There were days I'd spend 8-10 hours biking through Manhattan and Brooklyn.
But my mind would wander back to work ("I'm only X blocks from work, I wonder
if building security will let me bring my bike through the lobby, so I can
work on this bit of code that'd improve operations... wait, what the hell am I
saying?")

I moved from one apartment to another. Granted, certain things about my
original apartment (and neighborhood) were annoying me, but not as much as I
thought they were. The move helped put me closer to where I wanted to be
mentally, but there was still a long way to go.

I resigned from my job in June 2010, even though we both wanted to make it
work. I was just too far into the abyss. I considered a sabbatical, but I
wasn't sure that I'd be willing to return at the end (plus there was word that
someone else had did the same -- left and didn't return, so I told myself that
my 1-year request would probably be denied).

I spent the next two months throwing parties, going to parties, catching music
acts, traveling to visit friends and family, and doing new and old things
(photography, skydiving, sailing, etc).

I didn't set a travel itinerary or any schedule whatsoever -- I would just
randomly look at air/bus/rail fares and weather forecasts, say "that seems
reasonable", and book my ticket.

\- Don't work during your recovery.

During my traveling downtime, I'd do some consulting work for a few clients. I
enjoyed working with most of them, but out of the latter bunch, there was one
over-demanding client that threw all of it into chaos.

In my burned out state, I desperately tried to make it work with this client
("if I just try harder..."), but no, it just reversed any progress I had made
at this point. And affected the other clients I really liked.

\- Don't beat yourself up.

I had all the same fears you currently have, and the biggest one was not
having a plan. I felt like crap that I let myself deteriorate to this state,
and that it was affecting people around me.

Eventually I made one plan that I'd stick to no matter what: to get better.

\- Keep at it.

In September 2010, I legitimately started feeling better and began at a new
job, but I continued to travel (weekends, 3 day weekends, holidays). Kept
doing the things that made me happy, and my recovery kept progressing.

With this new job, I made a rule of not working at home -- only in the office,
except for emergencies, until I could find a better balance. Sometimes, I felt
like I was coming close to max capacity, so I'd ease off the throttle. Just
being aware of what your limits are is a big win.

For a while I was starting to hate tech, and consider my options as a farm or
construction worker (a la "Office Space"). But I'm back to twiddling knobs and
some hacking -- I've probably written more code in the last two months than I
have in the last year.

Here I am in February 2011, and I'm in the tail end of this thing. To put a
number on it, I'm probably at 95% and as long as I keep at it, I'll be better
than ever.

 __* The most important thing out of this is _you_ have to take the time out
to recover. You cannot try to multi-task/juggle/whatever because you will fall
right back into the rut you were climbing out of. __*

Hopefully this helps you all shake off some rust, and better yet, avoid the
dark road I went down for almost two years.

~~~
wil2k
Similar story and lessons as above here..

One more important tip that I'd like to add:

After all those years of stress, I had basically retrained my body to be
chronically hyperventilating, something I didn't directly noticed when I was
trying to recover.

Basically everyone has this idea of hyperventilation with someone holding a
paper/plastic bag and gasping for air.. but it doesn't have to be that way.

You can be hyperventilating all the time, feel tired as h#ll, dizzy, stressed,
anxiety etc.. without really noticing that you're breathing too fast because
of a retrained/'stuck' breathing center!

Really, I was breathing like 20-25 times a minute in rest ..crazy, it's like
riding a bicycle at >20 KM/h all day long!

It's very easy to check your breathing though. E.g. via the 'Control Pause'
test from the Buteyko Method:

<http://knol.google.com/k/buteyko-control-pause-cp#>

It takes determination and time to learn how to breath properly again and
unwind all that stored stress.

Currently back to breathing 6-14 times/min. at rest and already feeling sooo
much better, happier, more energetic, sleep is much much better etc.

Proper breathing is wayyyyyy underrated. Every GP seems to follow the "you're
stressed out? psychosomatic complaints? here have some
$neurotransmitter_modifying_medicine" route without looking at the _real_
cause(s).

I can't think (memory still goes and comes..it sucks) of the famous ancient
Greek who said it, but paraphrased:

"You cannot fix/heal anything if you don't know the underlying cause."

The rest is just the suppression of symptoms..

------
xpaulbettsx
This sounds really stupid on its face, but try taking Vitamin D. While it
certainly won't fix any of these problems, I found it helped my mood a bit and
generally made me feel better, health-wise. And worst-case scenario, it does
nothing and you're out $10.

~~~
PostBurnout
Hmmm... you've just reminded me that I ought to be drinking more milk...

~~~
pestaa
Milk? Why's that?

~~~
PostBurnout
In the US and Canada, milk is often fortified with Vitamin D. Not sure what
it's like in the rest of the world.

~~~
ljf
Calcium is more easily and more readily absored with vitamin d, which is why
it's added. The converse is also slightly true, though not to the same extent.

------
andrevoget
I think you're already on the right way with classical music, long walks,
reading books, etc. (except for the Internet addiction). I guess if you keep
on doing things you like you will recover. All the best to you.

~~~
PostBurnout
Definitely working on that Internet addiction. HN is so much tougher to give
up than other sites though!

One side-benefit of the absurd working hours I put in over the years was that
it took away all my time and broke my obsessive gaming habit. I suffer
withdrawal symptoms from time to time when I see other people having a nice
time at their battlestations, but I like to think I've learned some self-
control.

------
beagle3
There isn't a lot of love for Tim Ferris around HN. But you definitely should
read "The four hour work week". It will give you some ideas of what to do, but
more importantly, it will give you some ideas of how to _efficiently_ do
whatever it is that you want to do (time and money wise). Nothing he writes
there is secret, and yet, it is unconventional on one hand and potentially
extremely useful on the other.

------
andrewstuart
You sound depressed.

~~~
PostBurnout
And I was in denial about that for a long time too!

------
utx00
can you motivate yourself to finish something small? say something that will
take you one week? if nothing comes to mind, can you say wake up at 6am
everyday for a week? or walk 2 miles everyday for a week? or cook for
yourself, as best you can, "interesting" dinners? just for a week.

after that week is over, maybe report back?

i would not make any life changing decisions just now.

------
kevinburke
I'd refer you to a book which really helped me out - "Learned Optimism" by
Martin Seligman, which will teach you a better way to interpret the events
that happen to you, and a quote from Gabriel Garcia Marquez - "What matters in
life is not what happens to you, but what you remember and how you remember
it."

~~~
PostBurnout
I took the quiz from that book -- boy that was depressing. It showed that I
had a habit of explaining all good things as temporary, specific, and
external, while bad things as permanent, pervasive, and personal. I'm well
aware that this inconsistency defies logic. But that doesn't stop it from
disrupting my life :(

~~~
rphlx
I spent 6 months reading every book I could find on self-esteem, depression,
etc. The Amazon Top 50 and then some. It was porn: I liked the idea of self-
improvement, but lacked the motivation to do it, and after a while, reading
the books just made me feel worse and sustained the depression.

~~~
PostBurnout
I feel ya. It's almost like the self-help book industry preys on our
vulnerability and appetite for this sort of information, though I certainly
hope the authors set out with better intentions.

------
djoncarlson
Come down to Ecuador and climb some mountains. There's something incredibly
humbling/powerful about sucking in the thin air at 16,000 ft and looking down
on the world around you. Sure it won't take a year, but you can definitely
reinvent yourself in another country by traveling around for a bit.

------
rphlx
The fix depends on the cause. Did you burn out due to an oppressive/insatiable
boss, or due to pressure you placed on yourself? The first is largely
correctable by a better working environment. The second, unfortunately,
requires deep introspection to figure out and address the true source.

------
pvdm
Right now, I am reading "The Importance of Living" by Lin Yutang and this is
one of points that he was trying to get across. There is no point in striving
to do something, our best moments in life are those when we are just loafing
and doing nothing in particular.

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Maro
I'd recommend you travel. You write "I could travel, but my problems will just
follow me around the world."

So I re-read your post, but you don't really tell us what your problems are.

So, what's the problem, really?

~~~
PostBurnout
Maybe I didn't say so explicitly, but it should be clear that I suffer from a
lack of motivation and direction, and really have a lack of faith in myself.

------
wallflower
volunteer either at the level of technical contribution or just helping man an
event

non-profits are always grateful for someone who wants to help, beyond the
token one day of service

------
ljf
Read 'what color is your parachute' to figure out your direction and drive
then read 'how to live on 24 hours a day' to figure out how you are going to
fit it in.

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kirpekar
In the minority here ... But anyway, my 2c:

1\. Travel is overrated. I hate the airports, taxis, traffic, annoyances,
inconveniences, etc when I'm trying to relax.

2\. Get a dog?

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arethuza
I'd recommend the travel thing - as many have already done.

If you fancy a pint or two - I'll buy. But you have to make it to Edinburgh
first!

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kgleong
have you tried yoga? Especially Bikram Yoga. I find that this amazing practice
can fix almost anything physically and mentally.

~~~
ZhannaSchonfeld
I agree, my husband started yoga classes after I've nagged him to get active
and he's now in much better metal and physical shape. It's an amazing
difference, he's calmer, happier, and looking good, too. Plus it's the one
thing he really looks forward to during his free time. I personally think any
form of exercise is a good way to decompress.

------
mkramlich
get a lot of good veg time, exercise, food, sex, sleep and reading

but then that's good even when not on sabbatical

------
fleitz
Relax. After a month you'll be in a much better place to evaluate. You should
focus solely in that month on doing little things you've been meaning to do.
eg. Spending more time with friends / family. Going to see that exhibit you've
been meaning to. Watching a movie you just haven't had time for.

I took time and founded a startup but it wasn't until a week ago (9 months
from the start that I really found the right niche)

It sounds like your in Vancouver, I am as well let me know if you want to grab
a coffee and have a more in depth discussion. Also, have you spoken to your
doctor about SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)? Around Feb/March of every year
is when I want to make drastic changes to my life, I've sort of chalked it up
to SAD and have made a point to get outside during the sunshine more often.

The ideas that you think are crazy are probably whats going to snap you out of
your funk. Think of doing something crazy as making yourself available for new
ideas, opportunity and inspiration. I can tell you that if you bike from
Vancouver to Halifax you're probably going to meet some very cool people doing
interesting things. Those interactions will probably drive your next idea. It
will flood your head with experiences and environment that few other people
have. I just wouldn't start any big new projects until you've given yourself a
month to evaluate in a de-stressed environment.

~~~
elai
Doesn't SAD start going away once the sun starts coming back out again?

~~~
fleitz
Not instantaneously, SAD really relates to circadian rythms and while the sun
coming back out with fix it eventually you can fix it much faster by changing
your habits and/or using the right lights.

------
georgieporgie
It doesn't really matter what you choose, it's more important to simply get
going on something. As for "finding yourself" I think being social and doing
something outside your usual norms are what point you back to who you are the
fastest.

> I'd ride my bike across the continent from Vancouver to Halifax (I don't own
> a bicycle and haven't ridden one in years)

I can recommend a long bike trip. I rode from Canada to Mexico between
September and November 2010. I've been a 'cyclist' most of my life, but don't
ride all that far nor often. Take it slowly and build up the miles gradually.
I had never done more than a two day bike-camping trip, and met several people
with _zero_ bicycle touring and negligible general cycling experience.

I would buy a good selection of maps and, if it's feasible in the areas to be
crossed, an Internet-connected device. Couch surfing would be ideal, since it
keeps costs down and provides precious social interaction. Canadian camp sites
are expensive.

Also, bring an iPod stocked with audio books, courses, or something else to
engage your brain (I found a "This American Life" collection invaluable).
Music is nice, but when you're grinding up the tenth hill of the day at 3mph,
it's nice to let your legs do the work while your brain focuses on what you're
listening to.

If you are genuinely interested in this and have no idea where to start, let
me know. I think you could get all your touring needs together for $2,000 or
less.

