

Four Minutes in the Morning - px
http://www.feld.com/wp/archives/2010/09/four-minutes-in-the-morning.html

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michaelfairley
Brad also has a policy of answering his phone when his wife calls, _no matter
what_. (He checked his phone mid-sentence when it rang while he was speaking
at Google I/O). I think it's awesome that he has his priorities in life set
out so clearly.

~~~
imack
When I was in my last year of school and attending a bunch of recruiting
events there was one CEO from a mid-sized consultancy who impressed us all by
taking a call from his wife in the middle of his presentation in front of
couple hundred students. He'd get the whole group to say hi to her and then
said he'd phone her back, hang up, and continue with his presentation. Gave a
good sense for the work/life balance.

Of course, we then heard that every term he gives that recruiting talk and
every time his wife calls right in the middle...

I kind of became enamoured with his evil genius ways.

~~~
cema

      I kind of became enamoured with his evil genius ways.
    

I think I would not. Screw manipulators.

~~~
Confusion
You have no reason to suppose he was being manipulative. You'll be happier
thinking good things about people, instead of second-guessing everything they
do.

~~~
pbhjpbhj
>>Of course, we then heard that every term he gives that recruiting talk and
every time his wife calls right in the middle...

>You have no reason to suppose he was being manipulative.

Did you miss that bit?

~~~
Confusion
No, but I rather believe he honestly feels such a thing should be possible and
wished to demonstrate that such a thing was acceptable to him. The folks that
didn't find out it was set up, may live happier lives because of that
demonstration.

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smoody
I know Brad and I've honestly never met anyone more in love with a significant
other than he is (and visa versa). I would strongly recommend taking any and
all of his relationship advice (and finding the perfect mate for you also
helps :-). I am going to start this ritual tomorrow.

~~~
ptuzla
You may need to convince your significant other for that though.

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sandwich
I don't think I understand. Is this the only time he spends with his wife? My
S.O. gets upset if I don't spend at least an hour or two of quality time with
them per day, let alone four minutes in the morning! If the only time we
actually talked throughout the day to discuss our lives and problems was for a
few minutes, I believe I'd find myself single. Am I in a weird relationship or
something?

~~~
michaelfairley
I think it's more that they have a bare minimum that they spend with each
other, and only each other, _with no exceptions_. Too many couples spend hours
together, but watching TV, or cooking, or any numerous other activities that
distract them from just enjoying being with each other.

~~~
maukdaddy
I'd argue that watching TV together and cooking together are entirely
different things. Passively watching TV and never talking is awful. Cooking
together should involve interacting, talking, asking questions, conversation,
etc.

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samiq
I just hang up on my gf who is, literally, in the other side of the world (i'm
in seoul, she is in costa rica) and were discussing the same stuff.

we work together, at the distance, she spent the first 7 months of this year
here with me and now we have a few months aside... and quality time,
distraction-free, thru skype makes wonders and is needed no matter what.

when were together here we'd go to momments of solitud where we'd focus on
each other, this not only made us relax and forget about all the project's
stuff it nurtured our relationship.

I don't know if Brad's policy of answering the phone is wrong or good, but
seriously guys work is just a mean to be happy... been with ur SO is been
happy.

I think us as entrepreneurs will tend to let ourselves go with all the crazy
stuff that goes on launching a project or staying ahead of the google's,
apple's and facebook's stilling our thunder... but we cannot let all that take
our life just as well.

nice post and thanks for sharing!

~~~
pbhjpbhj
>I just hang up on my gf who is, literally, in the other side of the world
(i'm in seoul, she is in costa rica) and were discussing the same stuff.

Hope you finished the conversation first. ;0)

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salemh
Similar to his talk at TEDxBoulder, CO some weeks back (which I attended):
Quarterly Week off the Grid. One solid week away with his wife: no cell,
laptop, etc. [http://www.feld.com/wp/archives/2009/03/the-rhythms-of-
life....](http://www.feld.com/wp/archives/2009/03/the-rhythms-of-life.html)
[http://boulderreporter.com/tedxboulder-lets-hear-it-for-
the-...](http://boulderreporter.com/tedxboulder-lets-hear-it-for-the-
creatives/)

Good prioritizing in a routine, but the argument becomes..is "4 minutes" (4,
15, 1hr) / 1 week a quarter adequate? How about daily several hours with the
people you love? Her opinion?

~~~
Revisor
I think it's understood that by these rules you ensure the _minimal_ time
spent with the important people. Neither the 4 minutes a day, nor the 1 week a
quarter are adequate, they just build the low threshhold in stressful times.

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tyng
Thanks for sharing this. As entrepreneurs we (especially myself) tend to
forget about the importance of the support we receive from our partners. But,
life just isn't quite complete without spending quality time with our "other
half". Four minutes a morning is definitely worth the effort!

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JoeAltmaier
Your spouse is (should be) your anchor, your foundation, your one trusted
person in the world. You get to have a special relationship with that person.
You get to give it priority over everything else, unconditionally.

Other people, if they're wise, know this and make accomodation for it.

