

Ask HN: What's your favorite nerdy joke? - mikek

I'll give you mine.<p>Q:  Why did the set of all noninclusive sets keep telling everyone about its characteristics?<p>A: It just couldn't contain itself!
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prodigal_erik
Two mathematicians were having an argument over dinner, about the knowledge of
the general public. While one went to the restroom, the other called over the
waitress and offered her $20 if she would reply "one-third x cubed" to a
question he would ask. When his colleague returned, he asked "excuse me, do
you happen to know the integral of x squared?" She paused for a moment and
said "one-third x cubed" to his colleague's amazement. Then she walked away,
pocketing the money and smirking "... plus a constant."

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JacobAldridge
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop.

The cop says "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg says "No, but I know where I am."

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bbastian
Q: Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween with Christmas?

A: Because OCT 31 == DEC 25.

~~~
rick_2047
If you think about it, this is indeed mysterious

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jacquesm
Einstein is traveling by train.

They train zips past a meadow and the person opposite, who has recognized
Einstein says: "I'll bet you don't know how many sheep there were in that
field".

Einstein replies: 1241.

The man, stunned: Wow, that's amazing, how did you count them so quickly? I
know the answer is right because that field belongs to my uncle.

Einstein: Simple, I counted the legs, divided by 4.

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what
What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt.

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eliot_sykes
Stack Overflow's "What's your favorite programmer cartoon"
[http://stackoverflow.com/questions/84556/whats-your-
favorite...](http://stackoverflow.com/questions/84556/whats-your-favorite-
programmer-cartoon)

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JeanPierre
I usually find the _Tombstones for Scientists_ to be pretty funny.

<http://web.mst.edu/~gbert/tombstone.html>

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anateus
Q: Two linguists were walking down the street. Which one was the specialist in
contextually indicated deixis and anaphoric reference resolution strategies?

A: The other one.

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thestoicattack
Q. What do you get if you integrate a meromorphic function around Europe?

A. Zero, because there are no Poles! Okay, there are Poles, but they're
removable.

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kimfuh
What do you call Frodo if he starts smoking? A bad hobbit.

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saveriomiroddi
I especially like a Chuck Norris fact:

Chuck Norris [...] can divide by zero.

But also the XKCD "sudo make me a sandwich" one.

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Cur8or
A blond walks into a bar and asks the barkeep for a double entendre. So he
gave her one.

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RevRal
Q: How is a female stronger than male?

A: Fe = Iron

Female = Iron male

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infinity
The Yoda embedding, contravariant it is.

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rick_2047
Well here is list

Q:Once there were few tiny functions of x playing in the garden. Suddenly the
differential operator d/dx came to eat them up. Everyone else ran away but
which function did not?

A: e^x

Q:The next day again the tiny functions were playing in the garden. Again the
differential operator came. Again e^x stood there very bravely, but got eat.
Why?

A: It was d/dy not d/dx.

(Pause for laughter).

Once a mathematician was eating chicken. He kept on dipping it in a bowl.
Another mathematician came and asked, "I thought you were going to have curry
with you chicken."

"Yes I was", said the first one."Let us assume that there is some curry inside
the bowl".

(pause for some more laughter)

Now let us move on to IT sector. This is the best one I have heard so far.

Once three guys from Microsoft, IBM and Intel were peeing in adjoining booths.
The Microsoft guy finished first, washed his hands. He took a paper tissue and
wiped his hand clean. He took another one to remove the dampness of the hands
and said,"At Microsoft we do everything efficiently".

Then then IBM guy finished. He also washed his hand. He took a tissue and tore
it in half. With the first half he wiped his hand. Then with the other half we
remove the dampness and said,"At IBM we do everything efficiently, using
minimal resources".

Now the Intel guy finished at last. He didn't was his hands and walked
directly to the door. He opened the door, looked back at the two and said "At
Intel, we don't piss at our hands".

(Take a bow)

