

Find The Yellers - MIT_Hacker
http://delian.io/find-the-yellers

======
triplesec
I find it very hard to tell some of my brilliant friends that it appears that
they are _in this case_ talking our of their fundaments, or at least being
somewhat nuts. I used to be more critical, but then people would not want to
talk to me. So I learned to be constructive and positive. Which is a great
thing and I thank California culture for that. However, I can't find a good
way to be an ass to my friends for their own good. (assuing I'm not talking
out of mine, of course)

Any tips anyone?

~~~
MIT_Hacker
I've found the best way to go about this is to ask the hard questions.

How to Win Friends and Influence people has a great chapter on how to give
constructive critical feedback. You can't just outright say what you are
thinking because you need them to believe it as well. By asking leading
questions and explaining your thought process, you can make them see the
critical feedback you are trying to give.

~~~
triplesec
Ah, socratic method. I do sometimes try that, although sometimes there are
people who don't even respond.. which means perhaps I'm expecting too much
change too quickly with their character :) it may also be that I need more
confidence. Or that sometimes I need to drill down to what they really don't
know. I have other friends who ask me questions I'm well aware of, so I
discount their questioning. But soetimes if I listen they have a new
perspective. So the ability of your friend to be open matters 8)

I'll have a dig around for my copy of Carnegie's classic. this sounds like a
good tip!

------
toki5
My work has a Trend Micro proxy, which is blocking this website as a "verified
fraudulent page or threat source." Maybe an ad on it or something?

~~~
MIT_Hacker
Hosted by svbtle.com, so not sure why! Will send them an email

