
Ask HN: How do you remember names? - pmoriarty
I have a really, really poor memory of names.  Virtually the moment someone tells me their name, I forget it.  It almost doesn&#x27;t even register.  I nod, but can&#x27;t recall their name a moment later.<p>What are some tricks and techniques you use for remembering names?
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iyn
You can try to connect the name to the person you know (e.g: when someone
introduces himself 'Hi, I'm Mark!' \- you can think about the Mark from high
school and "attach" his image to this new person - 5 minutes later it may be
easier to recall the person's name).

~~~
ergot
My stock answer is always Memory by Association too.

Many names can be associated with objects and other conceptual links, only few
names are unique enough so as to be hard to associate with already pre-cached
objects in memory.

And if a name is so unique that it's hard to associate with pre-cached
objects/concepts then even more of a reason to memorize it.

For example, 'Mark' would be easy as I just think of the person being an
actual mark[1] and I want to pull a Con Trick on him/her, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
might be trickier.

[1]:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confidence_trick](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confidence_trick)

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bbcbasic
I'll have to ask the football teachers (under 5s) because they remember
hundreds of kids names, and they remember new names immediately and forever,
and there are lots of kids coming and going all throughout the year.

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waterphone
Repeat it back to them. "Nice to meet you, <name>." Then repeat it to yourself
multiple times mentally over the next minute or so. Try to associate it with
some distinctive aspect of that person.

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nerdybutnice
Are you a visual learner? Because that is often my problem... best thing is to
search social media and write their name out.. or add it to a contact list...
also joke around with nicknames can help.

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Zekio
I also am really bad at remembering names, my solution is to remember
faces(since it is pretty easy) and inform people I am really bad at names, so
as to not be rude when I ask their name for the 5th time

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dorfuss
After someone tells me her/his name, I always say: "I'm terrible with names,
so I will ask about yours a couple of times, but that's the only way for me to
remember," and I smile very very friendly. 90% of time people say something:
"yeah, me too".

Then I really ask again, about 2-3 times, even if it's just within 30 seconds
after the introduction. If there is more people around, together, then I say:
"Hey, does everyone know names of each other? Let me try!" And then I try to
say the names. People take it as very very friendly and fun, and by doing this
I release a lot of pressure, because the less confident people also can use
this opportunity to review the names.

There are often moments when I happen to be a guest at small parties/meetings.
Learning all the names is my little game (the side effect of which is that
girls will think you are more attractive). I sit next to the host, so that I
can ask silently about the names (assuming that the host knows almost
everyone), and then I just repeat them in mind again and again. Being silent
in a conversation is usually a good idea anyway[1]. And then, when I leave, I
stand up and say: "Thank you very much: John, Anna, Martha... etc, it was a
lovely evening with you". And everyone is really impressed. The next time you
meet with the same crowd, people will be extremely friendly to you :)

In business setting: that's more tricky. First of all you collect business
cards and check people you are going to have a meeting with way ahead - check
them up on facebook or linkedin. Even if you know only the name and function,
and not the face, it will be later easier for you to associate them with the
right person.

When you sit down with people who gave you their business cards, put the cards
in front of you, on the table, in the same order they are sitting.

If this meeting is another meeting with the same people, take your note pad
with you (you should be ready to take notes anyway) and before the meeting
write the names on the margin. Then when you are with them, they will usually
mention some names of the people present, or titles. Then you write on the
page the names in order of sitting - person to your right - write the name on
the right side of the page, etc.

Btw: it is extremely important to ALWAYS make notes from meetings. Do it right
after the meeting, sit in the lobby or in your car and write down things like:
who you met with, what were the issues discussed (even - or especially - when
someone said something trivial or private like: my son was playing football
last weekend, you will ask about football the next time you are on the lift
with this important CTO), what you agreed for, what is missing, what do you
have to bring to the next meeting. Collect those and always review before
another meeting [thank you B. for teaching me this].

[1] - the little secret about conversations: people will think that the
conversation was interesting if you let them talk. That's true when you are on
a date or with your client. Ask questions, listen to what they say, reply with
short replies, listen more. Show them that you are really interested in what
they say, laugh at their jokes, consider what is important for them, be sad
when they are sad. We often tend to think that we become interesting because
we say something smart, but that's not true. -- does not apply to John Carmack
and the like;)

