
We need to talk about crying at work - sharkweek
https://medium.com/@jcolman/crying-at-work-8bef51ae7c47
======
stallmanite
The author’s argument that crying at work is seen as more acceptable for men
than women doesn’t really align with my anecdotal experiences. Maybe I just
live in a bubble where men crying is more looked down upon than women crying.

Any other commenters willing to share their experiences with this?

~~~
true_religion
Most everyone will view crying as acceptable in some circumstance. Whether
it’s death or a child, or loss of money, or deep frustration, everyone has a
limit above which they consider the trauma a reason to cry.

The author might conclude, that many people think that men have a high trauma
threshold before shedding tears or to put it in a other way: men will only cry
for “good” socially acceptable reasons.

This means that even if someone is crying for the loss of their sports team,
people looking on will assume the tears are for a good reason and won’t
inquire. Their stereotype influenced their expectations.

~~~
pmiller2
> Most everyone will view crying as acceptable in some circumstance. Whether
> it’s death or a child, or loss of money, or deep frustration, everyone has a
> limit above which they consider the trauma a reason to cry.

And, as a flagged comment mentions, what we should be doing here is not so
much as work shouldn't be a place that induces crying.

As for outside circumstances leaking in, sure, that happens, and it will
continue to happen as long as workers are humans and not robots. Spouse got a
terminal diagnosis? Totally okay to cry. Traumatized by bosses, coworkers,
customers, _etc._? No, that shouldn't be happening. Using tears to emotionally
manipulate people? That _double_ shouldn't be happening. I don't know where
losing sports teams fall on this continuum, but I'd rather not deal with tears
in the workplace because some people I don't personally know didn't score
enough points in a game.

This is not a men vs women issue, although I believe it's at least willfully
ignorant to think that men and women can "get away with" crying in the same
circumstances and at the same frequency. I have no idea if the author didn't
suffer from his crying at work because of white male privilege or not, but,
work is work, a business relationship, and crying is not conducive to
maintaining a business relationship, IMO.

------
anm89
Who is we and why are we being told what we need to do by an unidentified
person in the title?

Ive got no idea if this article had any valuable content because I refuse to
read things with these kinds of titles. If they had something of value to say
I would assume they wouldn't have to resort to a threat in the title in the
first place.

