

Ask HN: Need help on marketing copy - gawker

Hey guys,<p>Firstly, just wanted to say thank you all for the inspiration in the Hacker News community. I'm proud to say that it's the #1 place where I visit on the web apart from email. I've finally decided to try my hand at starting something simple. I would love if you can help me out by providing a comment or two on marketing copy.<p>My site is http://beta.phonerifique.com/ and essentially, I'm just an online calling card service. I am still trying to figure out my advantages over my competitors and am in the process of developing a SWOT analysis. Nevertheless, I would be happy if this earns me about $200/month.<p>Thanks, HN community!
======
coryl
Hi, your copy is really confusing.

I didn't understand what your business did until I read the comment here on
HN. My suggestions:

Your H1 copy should be something that tells me exactly what you do and how it
benefits me. Ex: "Save $$$ on long distance calls to anywhere in North
America"

Your H2 could then be: "Phonerifique is a pre-paid phone service with rates as
low .05c/min! Call anywhere in the US and Canada for cheap."

Good luck!

~~~
gawker
Hi,

Thanks for your feedback. I realized that I was rash in just putting up the
copy. You and several other people have also mentioned that didn't get what's
going on. I'll definitely have to spend some time to work on it and I'll
definitely look into your suggestions and post an update.

------
helen842000
I've only ever bought calling cards when I wanted to be in control of how much
I spent.It's an added bonus if the charges are easy to understand i.e one flat
rate and it saves you money too.

I don't know how the pay as you go would work. I don't think I'd be
comfortable using a long distance service unless I could set a limit that I
couldn't spend past. Then it's my choice if I want to spend more or not.

~~~
gawker
Thanks for the feedback. I do agree that I have been thinking about having the
flat rate and being able to limit on a certain amount.

About "one flat rate", do you mean to say that it would make more sense to say
how many minutes you would get from $10 or something?

------
ianpurton
"I am still trying to figure out my advantages over my competitors"

You need this it's very important. Your copy will flow from your key
advantage. At the moment your just another calling card.

~~~
gawker
Thanks, Ian. Yes, I definitely agree that I need to flush out why I'm an
advantage over the rest.

------
gawker
Clickable: <http://beta.phonerifique.com/>

------
andrewtbham
is it a pre-paid calling card to avoid long distance charges or to activate
cell phone?

~~~
gawker
I was originally thinking about a pre-paid calling "card" where you load up
your balance online and you just dial one of our numbers, enter a PIN and dial
the number you'd like to call.

But then, I thought it might be interesting to go for "Pay as you go" where
we'll charge you for however long you talk.

