
Ask HN: How to support someone with burnout syndrome? - BrandiATMuhkuh
A good friend of mine has a severe burnout syndrome and I would like to know how to help. And maybe more importantly, how NOT to help. The NOT is important since I see all his friends&#x2F;family&#x2F;etc. giving him unasked advice, which I fear will not make it better.
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brudgers
My first advice is to avoid the temptation to practice pop psychology. Burnout
is not a recognized clinical diagnosis in the DSM
{[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupational_burnout](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupational_burnout)}.
The pop-psychology of is a way of perpetuating the stigma associated with
accurate clinical diagnosis for a mental health condition.

My second piece of advice follows from that. There my be clinical issues and
those may best be addressed by a professional clinician such as a _licensed_
psychologist, mental health councilor, or clinical social worker.[1] A role
you can play is to normalize and destigmatize the idea of professional mental
health treatment. Ask the people you know if they can recommend a clinician
for your friend.

Yes, "I have a friend who might need a professional mental health clinician,
do you know anyone?" has a certain "No, really it's a friend" connotation.
Accepting that people may reach the wrong conclusion is part of being able to
destigmatize and normalize mental health treatment.

Good luck.

[1]: I don't have anything against Psychiatrists. It's more a matter of access
to Psychiatrists is limited and [in the US] typically done via referral from a
councilor or MD general practitioner for the purpose of prescription based on
an existing diagnosis. Which reminds me that your friend might also address
their burnout with their regular doctor and likewise, your regular doctor
might be a source of referral for licensed clinicians for your friend.

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endswapper
My recommendation (not a doctor) is to makes it easy for them to engage, so it
is almost accidental.

With burnout, at least in part, and depending on the person, there is a
tendency to withdraw. Invite them to go do something already planned, that
they don't have to pay for, that won't take too long and you know they enjoy.
Then just be a friend without expectations.

I think advice and suggestions can make things worse because making a decision
or taking action is often the thing that has them locked-up.

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BrandiATMuhkuh
Yes he is in tech (developer). And yes, he was at the doctors. I think it's
his official diagnosis. So he is now for 1-2 month on leave. Luckily, being on
"sick" leave for such a long time is no problem in Austria. So he won't have
problems getting the job back and he still receives normal payment.

~~~
webmaven
Thanks for the clarification.

Your best bet is to involve them in activities that are _completely_ non-tech
related, and preferably don't try to engage the overworked analytical skills.
It would be great if some (but not all) of the other folks participating are
also techies looking to get away.

Movie nights, pot-luck dinners, low impact walking/hiking/cycling,
drawing/painting lessons, pottery, museum visits, a book club, gardening, are
all possibilities, and I am sure you can think of others.

Just, find a way to let the "burned out" capabilities rest while letting (not
making) them engage with others on entirely different terms.

~~~
BrandiATMuhkuh
Thank you. That is great advice. Especially for the techi friends who often
think a fun software-side-project is relaxing.

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csorrell
If you're involved in any fun non-tech related hobbies that he might be
interested in, invite him to join you.

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angersock
Are they in tech? Why do you think they're in burnout, and why do you think
it's severe? A little more background here would help.

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joshuapassos
I believe with the best option is to send to doctor.Tbe sooner the better.

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allfou
V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N

