
To Wash It All Away (2014) [pdf] - heyyyouu
http://scholar.harvard.edu/files/mickens/files/towashitallaway.pdf
======
dkarl
Occasionally my wife likes to hear me explain my work, beyond just the outcome
that I'm trying to accomplish. Whenever this has involved web UI work, the
conversation has broken down into her lecturing me not to be so negative. This
is not because I'm feeling any negative emotion at the time, but because
virtually nothing in the modern web stack can be described in terms of a
positive intention coming to fruition. Every time she asks "why?" the reason
is some historical mistake, some failure that can never be undone. Even when
it's an aspect of web technology I personally enjoy and admire, I can't
explain why it exists without telling a horror story. I manage to frame other
areas of computing, when I want to, as a story of progress, a heroic sequence
of invention and improvement (with some mistakes and backtracking) leading to
a better and better future. Web programming always comes off as a descent into
hell. And it's a malevolent God's hell, where every mistake anyone has ever
ever made, every injury anyone has ever done to another person, is revisited
on you and everyone else every day for eternity.

I forget this, because I take all the history for granted and am excited and
grateful that I can use create-react-app to summon a vast technological
apparatus to mostly paper over the damage for a putatively-full-stack-but-
really-back-end weeny like me. But when I have to explain it to somebody,
yeesh. It's like explaining the Vietnam War (or, at this point, the war in
Afghanistan) to a younger relative. You forget how awful it was until you have
to put it into words, and then you feel depressed the rest of the day thinking
about it and realizing that everything we could learn from it to prevent it
happening again is something we already knew before we did it.

~~~
thedanbob
This is why I find it so difficult to work with my organization’s designers.
They all work primarily in print, so when they give me a web design it’s
always frustrating for everyone involved. They don’t understand why I can’t
reproduce their reference designs pixel-perfect; they don’t get that giving me
layouts for three different screen sizes doesn’t make their design responsive.
I try to explain these things and they don’t really believe me, but I don’t
blame them. I would have had the same reaction before I experienced it myself.

------
AceJohnny2
James Mickens is a national treasure.

"To Wash It All Away" was the last of his columns for the Usenix magazine.
Here are all the others:

2014-03: _To Wash It All Away_ :
[https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1403_02-08_mickens.pdf](https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1403_02-08_mickens.pdf)

2014-01: _This World Of Ours_ :
[https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1401_08-12_mickens.pdf](https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1401_08-12_mickens.pdf)

2013-11: _The Night Watch_ :
[https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1311_05-08_mickens.pdf](https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1311_05-08_mickens.pdf)

2013-09: _The Slow Winter_ :
[https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1309_14-17_mickens.pdf](https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1309_14-17_mickens.pdf)

2013-07: _Mobile Computing Research Is a Hornet’s Nest of Deception and
Chicanery_ :
[https://www.usenix.org/system/files/01_mickens_02-04_1.pdf](https://www.usenix.org/system/files/01_mickens_02-04_1.pdf)

2013-05: _The Saddest Moment_ : [https://www.usenix.org/system/files/login-
logout_1305_micken...](https://www.usenix.org/system/files/login-
logout_1305_mickens.pdf)

" _The Night Watch_ " is a personal favorite as I identify as a systems
programmer. The phrase "I HAVE NO TOOLS BECAUSE I'VE DESTROYED MY TOOLS WITH
MY TOOLS" resonates with repeated personal experience.

~~~
faster
Don't miss his tenure announcement: [https://mickens.seas.harvard.edu/tenure-
announcement](https://mickens.seas.harvard.edu/tenure-announcement)

~~~
AceJohnny2
I didn't know he got tenure at Harvard! Last I checked he was still as MS
Research. That's awesome.

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perennate
Strange, I have always found IKEA instructions to be fairly straightforward
and descriptive, in contrast to instructions from other furniture vendors.

~~~
BinaryIdiot
Yeah, I've never understood the complaint about IKEA instructions. Their
instructions and build steps are always miles better than other furniture
companies.

~~~
amelius
IKEA instructions come very close to LEGO instructions in terms of clarity.

------
dang
Discussed at the time:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7365615](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7365615)

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thrillgore
This man's hatred for javascript only matches my own. He's after my own heart.

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hyperion2010
If you have never read Mickens out loud, I highly recommend it, the humor is
even more visceral on performance.

------
heyyyouu
SIDE NOTE: curious -- it says 4 comments but I only see one at time of me
writing this. Thanks.

------
vanadium
(2014)

~~~
Porthos9K
The only reason this article is inaccurate is that the situation has gotten
_worse_ in the last five years.

~~~
jacobush
Comically so.

~~~
Porthos9K
_Tragicomically_ so. :)

