

What Do You Tell People You Are? - r11t
http://thecodist.com/article/what_do_you_tell_people_you_are_and_what_you_do

======
SwellJoe
Depends on who it is.

Cute girls, I'll usually say something to get a reaction, like "I have a
technology company. You know, on the Internet." When they follow up with,
"Like what?" The response is "Mostly porn." If they take me seriously, they're
probably not going to get the real explanation, anyway, so I have a little fun
with the porn explanation, making it more and more outlandish until they
realize I'm joking. I often tell myself that this is merely for amusement, and
that what I actually do for a living is not far more embarrassing (due to
being really boring to most people) than running a porn empire.

Other technology people, "I started a company that builds systems management
software for web hosting."

Regular folks, "Computer stuff." Very similar to vasudeva's response. The only
flaw in this tactic is that every once in a while, you'll meet someone who
_also_ does "computer stuff" (or their nephew or son or cousin does), and
they'll want to "talk shop" about their website where they sell their knitted
dog hats, or whatever MLM scheme they've most recently signed up for that
includes a website. Or ask me ridiculous questions about hacking GMail or
facebook or something equally retarded (depending on age and demographic).

~~~
blhack
What, you mean you don't want to talk to their nephew who is "also really into
those computer things" (read: plays a lot of world of warcraft).

Yes, I'm bitter. It annoys me that people thing that IT consists of helping
you with your num lock button, blocking them from porn, and doing lots of
things with cables.

~~~
DanielBMarkham
About 8 years ago I was flying from the East Coast out to San Francisco for a
programming gig. As I sat in the plane, getting started for my trip, I
happened to ask the guy next to me what he did.

"I'm a dentist," he said, quite proud of himself, "and what do you do?"

"I do computer stuff mostly," I mumbled.

The guy -- I swear -- spent the next 5 hours of the flight telling me about
how he wanted to computerize his dental office but his partner didn't
understand things, how he was having problems with some software they had
purchased, how he was looking to buy a new computer and didn't know what to
get. For each subject, he questioned me at length for what I thought he should
do.

Finally, at the end of the flight just before we got off, I opened my mouth as
wide as I could and pointed to the back of my throat

"Doc," I said, "I got this sore tooth that only acts up when I eat ice cream,
but sometimes the gum swells so I've been using a special toothpaste. Care to
take a look?"

That was the end of that.

~~~
katz
The worst thing is that everyone expects you to help them with their IT
problems. Over the phone.

~~~
pavelludiq
Its worst with relatives, I just can't say "no" to my dad. Anybody else i can
either tell to call me later(if he is my friend), or to get lost(depending on
my mood, I may say this politely).

~~~
katz
That is the thing! My dad paid for college so I can't just tell him no, I will
not help.

My dad is a reader - if there is a problem he will read _everything_ on the
screen over the telephone - even if it takes an hour. It is absolute torture
to help him (or my mother). But then again, an hour of IT- waterboarding is a
small price to pay for someone who changed your diapers.

~~~
kalid
Get logmein. It's free and will save you hours of potential tech support
headaches :).

------
pg
I usually just tell people I'm a programmer. If you say you're a writer, that
tends to provoke some people into an attempt to discover whether you're
"really" a writer, which in their minds equates with making your whole living
from it. Despite the prevalence of open source, this sort of person tends to
believe that no one would write code except for money, so they'll usually take
your word for it if you say you're a programmer. Even though in fact I make
some money from writing and none from programming.

~~~
zupatol
Same here. I am a programmer, but I spend so much time making comics that I
consider it a second, very low-paying job. When people ask me what I do, I say
programmer so I don't have to justify myself.

And people understand what programmers do, that's easier to imagine than many
other jobs. My father was a marketing manager and I grew up not really knowing
what he did.

~~~
access_denied
I belive this phenomenon comes from the fact that for certain people, the
"artiste" is a superior human being. Someone who belongs to a special caste.
So they don't want to let you come through with it untested. Envious.

~~~
menloparkbum
_for certain people, the "artiste" is a superior human being_

Ha. Yeah, those people are confused young women and other artists.

 _Someone who belongs to a special caste._

Most other people (parents, employers, non-confused women) do consider artists
to belong to a special caste: the financially destitute, irresponsible
"untouchable" caste.

Spoken from experience as an artist.

To answer the OP, I say programmer when asked by most people, "artist" when
asked by confused young women.

------
hairsupply
"I write software" is typically where I start and if the other person wants
more information we can go down the rabbit hole from there.

Funny story though, my wife and I are friends with Eric Meyer
(<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Meyer>) and if we're in a group and other
people ask him what he does, my wife jumps in and says he fixes printers. You
should see his face :-)

------
vasudeva
Funny, I was just referencing this issue the other day.

When people ask me what I do, I say "computer stuff", and occasionally I'll
lift my hands and kind of type at a non-existent keyboard. They invariably go
"oh" -- to date, not one has said "ok, but what KIND of computer stuff?" which
would be my own personal response.

This tells me I'm either consistently gauging their level of computer savvy
pretty accurately, or that occasionally I come off like a bit of a dick. YMMV.

~~~
jrp
You're not being a dick. It's generally correct to say something short (eg "I
teach high school") and to go for brevity over correctness. If the person
shows interest then you can launch into the details (and probably glaze their
eyes).

------
dkarl
I write code.

Some people think that diminishes what I do. I don't just sit at a computer
and type code in from start to end. I have to plan, design, revise, and test.
I have to read and criticize. I have to consider very high-level structures
and very low-level structures. Therefore, I should say I do something much
grander than "write code." Something about "science" or "engineering."

It's surely not science. Calling it "engineering" would be fair. Sometimes I
do. I don't see what's wrong with calling it "writing," though. After all,
don't I write code principally for other humans to understand, and only
incidentally for machines to execute? Writers plan, imagine, write, revise,
test, and rewrite. Writers read and criticize. Writers consider high-level
structures and low-level structures. Writers produce rivers of words one
afternoon and struggle with a single line the next. Writers excise large
sections of their work with mixed feelings of triumph and regret.

Writing code is what I do. If the language had evolved differently, I would be
proud to call myself a "code writer" or simply a "writer." The closest
equivalent seems to be "programmer," so that's what I call myself. Or, on my
resume, as a concession to corporate dullness, a software engineer.

~~~
aaronblohowiak
Depending on the audience, I say "typist.. but this trick is knowing what to
type." About 70% of the time, people will say something along the lines of
"isn't that what most people do?", to which i smirk in that creepy self-
satisfied fashion and admit "exactly."

------
jacoblyles
He forgets to mention "Computational Mathematician". Computer stuff is more
often like math than it is like science. Out of math, science, and
engineering, I would say it is like science the least.

I hereby request to be called an "applied computational mathematician".

Although, often I get the feeling that I am a sort of wizard in training;
constantly learning new spells (programming techniques) to apply to new
situations. So I will also accept "apprentice computational warlock".

~~~
theotherjimmy
on that train of thought I am called a 'technomancer' by my family,and have
addopted the term for public use. apperently fixing things that you seem to
know very littl about is a skill. I am also the official dvd player/cable
box/game system expert and operator of my household. my family has now decided
that they are toast when I go to college.

~~~
jacoblyles
I like it! I might try "technomancer" out some. But not with girls that I am
meeting for the first time.

------
geebee
I always tell people I'm a programmer. I don't really like terms like
"software engineer" or "architect".

This is largely because I think programming needs to stand on its own as a
discipline. Sometimes I think people are worried that they'll be perceived as
"merely a coder", so they play up the non-coding aspects of their jobs in
their titles. Personally, I don't know a single programmer who "merely codes",
and I rarely encounter a coding project that I'd use "mere" to describe
anyway.

I also avoid the term "engineer" because I don't want engineers to start
thinking they have a claim on programming, especially with regard to these PE
initiatives in software engineering. Maybe this is because I was a math major,
but these people worry me.

------
lorax
I tell people I'm a computer programmer, most of the time that's enough. Sure,
that doesn't really tell them what I do, and sure, their eyes would glaze over
if I talked about debugging or memory management, but so what? I don't really
know what a brain surgeon does (besides 'operate on brains') and my eyes would
probably glaze over if one started going into details of how they choose which
scalpel or the details about _why_ they work on a particular brain.

Any complex job will be largely incomprehensible to people not in the field,
if you think otherwise, there is a good chance you don't know how much you
don't know.

~~~
eru
Or you don't know how much you now. (When you are the insider thinking your
job easy.)

------
BigZaphod
I usually say something like, "I'm a programmer. I make apps for the iPhone."
As soon as I utter the word "programmer", I can see the light in their eyes
begin to fade - but mentioning the iPhone brings them back and suddenly I'm a
person with a cool job. The nice thing about being an iPhone dev is I can
avoid the usual "computer stuff" response that results in doing tech support
because people don't realize that the iPhone _is_ just a computer platform. :)
I also have the advantage of having previously worked for Tapulous (as one of
the original employees, actually), so people who have an iPhone/iPod have
almost universally heard of Tap Tap Revenge - which has/had a little of my
code buried in there somewhere.

~~~
gdee
>As soon as I utter the word "programmer", I can see the light in their eyes
begin to fade - but mentioning the iPhone brings them back and suddenly I'm a
person with a cool job.

I know just the situation. It's game consoles instead of iPhone in my case
though. If I talk with youngsters I usually top it with 'coin-op' and 'have
more than 70 consoles in my house' for maximum bang :).

------
imgabe
I think he's greatly overestimating how well people understand engineering
jobs. Half the time when I tell people I'm an electrical engineer, they go,
"Oh, like an electrician?".

Also, I've never met anyone outside of engineering who knew what a P.E.
license is.

~~~
SwellJoe
Definitely true. My dad worked as an instrumentation engineer (valves, gauges,
etc.) in the oil and gas industry before retiring. I don't think anyone has
ever known immediately what I was talking about if they didn't also happen to
work in the oil and gas industry in a technical capacity. Most folks have no
idea what someone in pretty much any technical field does.

------
rs
I start off by saying "I work in IT for an investment bank", which usually
ends up with bewildered looks.

Then I say "I fix keyboards and mice for an investment bank", which usually
ends up with some nervous laughs (some get it, some don't).

Then I say "I write software that run electronic trading systems, like stock
exchanges". That's when most people get it. The others tend to think the
finance world ends at their ATM.

Recently, the last sentence has ended up with dirty looks from those who
probably think that people like me caused the current global recession. At
this point I usually say something like "I don't work in credit derivatives".

------
Edinburger
Surely the entrepreneur's answer to "What do you do?" is "Whatever it takes!"

------
kyochan
I just tell people I make the websites.

As a joke, I make developer and pornographer interchangeable. Too bad I don't
do back-end work.

~~~
blhack
Can you make a social networking site for me? You'll have to do it for free,
but I'll give you some of the stock.

or

inquire_cost(build_social_networking_site); while cost > 100 { bitch() moan()
ask again() }

~~~
falsestprophet
Oh, I'd do it for free. Its just a simple Facebook clone.

------
martythemaniak
I usually tell people I'm a programmer. Sure, it doesn't sound as nice as
"Software Engineer", but it gives most people a decent-enough idea of what I
do - I sit in front of a computer and make software.

It doesn't matter than people don't know exactly what I do day-to-day, since
the same thing is true of almost any other profession.

------
intellectronica
Once I tried to chat up this girl in a party. I told her that I'm a programmer
and her response was, "you're what? a problemmer?!"

These days I just tried to avoid the subject. It's lots of fun to talk about
technology with hackers. With other people it's actually one of the worst
topics to bring up.

If people ask, I say that I'm a technologist. If they press to know what it is
that I actually do I tell them that I talk on the phone a lot, and sometimes
write emails, which is partly true and something almost anyone can relate to.
Then I change the subject.

------
HeyLaughingBoy
I've always gone with the domain, rather than the task.

Me: "I build medical instruments"

Them: "Oh." sometimes followed by "like what?"

Me: "Blood test machines"

Them: "Cool. You like football?"

Most people have little idea what a computer programmer does. But they can
understand that when a nurse takes their blood it goes into an instrument that
measures different things about it and that's good enough for them.

------
jimfl
I tell people I am a Software Developer. I'm not a programmer, though software
development occasionally requires programming. I certainly don't say Software
Engineer, because what we do doesn't resemble engineering, no matter how much
adherents to various methodologies say we do.

------
chops
If they look like they'll be remotely interested, I give them an actual quick
description: "I run a business that sells websites to video game players."

On the other hand, if I don't really want to talk with them, I'll just give
them the ol' "I'm a programmer."

------
Deestan
Careerwise, I answer "programmer, for TV news systems". That seems to work
pretty well.

When explaining my hobby, "programming" seems to generate strong associations
to Excel for some reason, so I usually answer "mathematics" instead.

------
nostrademons
I used to say "I work for a financial software startup." Then it was "I'm
starting a web software company." Now it's "I work for Google."

The latter seems to be by far the most effective explanation.

------
froo
"I'm currently making cartoons" sums it up pretty much.

I really don't want to get into the specifics because you then see people's
eyes glaze over.

------
iuguy
Sometimes I tell people I run a small business. I've done that many different
things though, I'm not always sure what I do these days!

------
lr
I tell people I am a "Professional web surfer."

------
jwilliams
It is just me, or do the capitals in the title sentence make it really
difficult to comprehend? (just curious)

~~~
Deestan
A bit, now that you mention it.

------
alecco
I'm a runner. But what do you do to make a living. Computer stuff, sometimes,
I'm not really good at it.

------
jhawk28
Professionally, I am a Software Engineer. Otherwise, I am a nerd.

------
kaens
I say "I make computers do what other people want them to do".

------
sanj
Engineer by training, entrepreneur by affliction.

------
gamache
Fancy typist.

------
travisjeffery
Software Engineer.

------
chiffonade
I just tell people I invest in startup companies or that I don't really have a
job.

------
Karrot_Kream
Everything you had wanted to be :)

