

Review: Does my presentation give a clear picture of the project? - ideamonk

Hi everyone,
Just got over with a website for our surveillance project we bunch of students are planning to do. I've made a website presenting the idea through a slideshow. Since, we 4 people work on the project, we already have a good idea of what we're doing. I just wished to check if people too do get the right message that we're trying to convey. Just for a reality check, what impression do you get about the project when you look at the presentation ?
have a look - http://spacelock.madetokill.com/<p>One point someone mentioned is that I never actually described the project in detail on our website... I'm working on that right now. I wonder if I should actually explain every detail of the project, it's meant for a contest - Student2Business, should I disclose the whole working ? the basic architecture is already visible. There are some features which we wish to keep secret too!<p>Thanks
======
truebosko
My comments:

\- The presentation gets too text heavy later on. Cut out some of the text and
get more straight to the point. It also might be a good idea to make the text
stand out more.

\- I did enjoy the pictures, but on my 1024x768 resolution (laptop screen) I
had to scroll down a bit to see it all. Maybe make them a bit smaller or
minimize the header.

\- On the last slide, it goes back to the first. I know this isn't done, but
make sure you lead into a "GET IT NOW" page or something similar after I've
gone through the slides.

I understood what the product is offering. Seems to be software that uses a
webcam to create a simple security/monitoring system? Sounds neat, although
when you near the completion of your software it might be a good idea to also
show some examples of how easy it is to use (screenshots), instead of spending
4-6 slides describing the problem you are solving.

Hope that helps :)

~~~
ideamonk
@truebosko: Thanks! I'm clearly able to see some flaws which got ignored now!
I'm planning to put up some more descriptive text after last slide. Yes, it
does get text heavy... will reduce that for sure. I see, the balance in the
presentation is kind of one sided... we're still developing the system... once
done I'll surely remove some slides and put a few to show how easy it is.

thanks a lot :)

------
inerte
\- Back button

\- On the first slide, the second person isn't the first person. I noticed the
hair and something between its legs (below the "Always on the run!). Nitpick?
:p

\- On the third slide, what is an IP camera?

\- On the 4th slide, "We talk of IP camera, well how many of store owners
around us are willing to spend Rs. 8000+ for an IP camera? "... you can make
it shorter "How many store owners are willing to spend Rs. 8000+ for an IP
camera?

\- 4th: Isn't there a better solution (question mark missing)

\- 5th: Remove "When such great milestones have been already achieved, why do
we re-invent the wheel ?". It's unnecessary. And your product is about
integrating these milestones, right? If it's new, how come we re-inventing it?

\- 5th: Remove the purple cellphone. There's already a better cellphone icon
with the envelope;

\- 5th: There are small white dots on the guy left arm;

\- 6th: VERY IMPORTANT. If you ignore everything that I say, please don't
ignore this. REMOVE "Besides, with SpaceLock's modularity, you can always
plug-in a better camera or updated software as we develop it further." Here's
the problem with this phrase. You're saying that your product might not be
good enough. You're selling something (security with common infrastructure),
and at the same you're saying: if it doesn't work, you can always make it
better! Oh, er... customers want assurance that what they're buying will solve
their problem, not that it might not, and they can "upgrade it".

\- 7th: "You can use your webcam for a really great purpose.". What great
purpose? This is the solution explanation slide... and this phrase is too
vague.

Overall, I read all the slides and still don't quite get what the thing is all
about :) Ok, webcams on cubicles? How does Spacelock helps me manage all these
exactly? Some screenshots, maybe a demo website, or a link to an YouTube video
showing someone using the app..

Edit: I know what an IP camera is, I just am not sure someone reading the
slides will :)

~~~
ideamonk
@inerte: Wow this is even better ! It took me some time to really understand
but I can't stop appreciating 6th point and the Edit. Well, I'm surely gonna
re-plan my slideshow with all these valuable inputs. I find it really tough to
get the PoV of a user - a common person.

We just talked over things and tried thinking deeper, but no deeper than you
did. Thanks for your suggestions, will surely go forward with this way of
thinking. Thanks, I love HN :)

------
weaksauce
I think that having your javascript fail gracefully is important. (i.e. click
on a link in the slide show and it actually takes you to the next slide.) This
is not only for the people that have javascript turned off for whatever reason
but also for the search engines. If they cannot navigate to it you will not
get ranked. Hook your javascript into the next link after the page has loaded
and then override the behavior if they have javascript turned on if they don't
then the link will still work because it is a valid link to the next page.
There are plenty of resources out there that teach this javascript idiom.

Have a good url structure using rewrites such as foo.com/why-ip-cameras-are-
bad/ and translate it behind the scenes to whatever slide it maps to.

I also agree with inerte that the slides are too text heavy. Make it more
succinct for the presentation and people will be more likely to actually read
the whole thing. You can go on in more detail on other pages of your site.

Overall it looks like an interesting product and I wish you luck.

Are you planning a OS X Version?

~~~
ideamonk
We plan to port to linux using mono, i guess mono projects also work on OS X
:)

