Ask HN: Which are some of the best books on Mental Toughness? - mgos
======
mojoe
The Enchiridion by Epictetus (and basically every other book on stoic
philosophy).

[http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html](http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html)

My own opinion is that a lot of mental toughness can be developed simply by
realizing what you can control and what you can't. This is known in stoic
philosophy as the "dichotomy of control", and is put this way in the
Enchiridion:

“Some things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are
opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own
doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office,
and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.”

------
staunch
Commentarii de Bello Gallico by Julius Caesar

By far my favorite example of any individual human's mental (and often
physical) toughness. There's a thousand examples where he displayed herculean
mental strength in the face over overwhelming situations.

Some that come to mind:

1\. He took groups of cavalry out on attacks during a heavy winter, letting
each group of soldiers take a turn resting, while he went out on every
mission.

2\. He grabbed a shield an went to the front of the lines when the Nervii were
about to slaughter his entire force. Turning the tide in a situation almost no
one else could have survived.

3\. Instead of giving up the siege of Alesia when a massive relieving army was
inbound, he went double or nothing by enclosing himself in a double wall
investment.

4\. He attacked a beach full of unknown numbers of enemy soldiers with
chariots, in D-day style amphibious assault.

He did a hundred major things like this in his life, and a thousand minor ones
we know about.

An excellent audiobook version is available free
[https://archive.org/details/Commentaries_Gaius_Julius_Caesar](https://archive.org/details/Commentaries_Gaius_Julius_Caesar)

------
codycraven
I never thought of mental toughness as something that can be learned from a
book. Has anyone had a transformative change from reading a book on the
subject?

I learned mental toughness from physically grueling experiences (wrestling,
digging holes, mixing cement). Experiences where I put myself in a mindset
where I didn't have a choice but to persevere. After doing that for years,
dealing with most mental/emotional struggles are manageable.

~~~
zapperdapper
It's funny you mention digging holes and mixing cement! I spent a year as a
labourer working on the M25 motorway. It did wonders for my mental (not to
mention physical) toughness. Four years working in seismic and then on oil
rigs in absolutely horrible conditions seemed to help too! {grin}

------
strong_silent_t
"Extreme Ownership" was popular this year: [https://www.amazon.com/Extreme-
Ownership-U-S-Navy-SEALs/dp/1...](https://www.amazon.com/Extreme-Ownership-U-
S-Navy-SEALs/dp/1250067057)

My personal favourite is called /Winning Through Intimidation/ , I think it is
much more relevant to our capitalistic and legalistic society than military
memoirs or the ancients, as much as I enjoy them.
[https://www.amazon.com/Winning-through-Intimidation-
Victor-B...](https://www.amazon.com/Winning-through-Intimidation-Victor-
Business/dp/1626361142) . It is not prescriptive because it is a bit dated and
specific to real estate, but the core ideas are rock solid.

------
WheelsAtLarge
I think mental toughness comes with knowing yourself and how to deal with the
world around us. Meditations of Marcus Aurelius is a great starting point.
It's a favorite of General Jim Mattis the US Secretary of Defense. The biggest
badass we would all be lucky to know.

------
J-dawg
I'm just beginning to realise that a bit part of mental "toughness" and
resilience is actually self-compassion.

Striving directly for toughness can lead to you feeling bad or angry at
yourself for having certain feelings, when actually feelings need to be felt,
not repressed.

It's shifting your inner monologue from:

"You shouldn't feel so sad about that girl dumping you. You were only together
for a few weeks. Stop moping around." to "You're feeling really sad right now,
and that's totally expected and ok. It's probably going to last a while
longer, and that sucks, but you're going to be fine."

This might be obvious / intuitive for most people, but as someone who always
used to default to the first version when "talking" to myself, it's been a big
shift.

To actually answer the question, the book that introduced this idea to me was
"The Art of Extraordinary Confidence" by Dr. Aziz Gazipura.

------
aalhour
I read The Obstacle is the Way last year and I liked it. Also, Man's Search
Meaning is a very interesting book about the personal experiences of Viktor
Frankl surviving 4 concentration camp during World War. His outlook on
enduring suffering and overcoming it is very deep and enlightening.

------
mgos
Thank you all for your inputs and really interesting opinions and point of
views. Appreciate it people :) I know mental toughness can't be learnt sitting
at home reading a book, a combination of reading and maybe some physical,
gruelling activities goes a long way in improving mental toughness. Putting
yourself through that physical pain is a must.

~~~
zapperdapper
Yes, I am a great believer that setting and achieving tough physical
challenges can do wonders for your mental toughness. A marathon for example is
well within the physical capabilities of most people, but many have not got
the mental toughness to see the training through - getting up at 5.00am and
heading out in the rain and dark of November is pure mental toughness. When
tackling a modest mountain like Snowden or Scafell Pike in foul weather
conditions it is primarily mental toughness that keeps you going when hail is
lashing your face and all you want to do is go home and throw some logs on the
wood-burner. You can build that mental toughness though just as you can your
leg muscles.

~~~
hawktheslayer
I agree with the physical and mental connection. I use a kettlebell daily
because of the combination of cardio and resistance training. Pavel's Enter
the Kettlebell is a great source of inspiration for toughness.

------
askafriend
It’s not directly focused on mental toughness but I think it indirectly
explores the themes of mental toughness: Marcus Aurelius’ “Meditations”.

Really any text that explores Stoicism by it’s very nature also explores the
different aspects of your mind that people traditionally refer to as “mental
toughness”

------
bello
Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield is a favorite of mine.

