
Ask HN: I don't care enough about anything to be great. How can I change that? - time-to-learn
I am a generally happy person, and live a pretty good life. I read. I program a little bit for fun. I have a really great and interesting job. I am generally successful (by an average person&#x27;s standards).<p>But, when it comes to actually doing things -- anything that would make someone awesome (creating things, putting myself out there, helping others, etc) -- I am completely lacking any impetus to do more than what is required to live a decent life.<p>I see people that have written really complex and useful pieces of software, or have composed brilliant works of music&#x2F;art, or have built businesses that help us live modern life, or run charities that truly help people in need. People that create culture. People that inspire others. I know that based on how I live my life I will never be one of these people.<p>I wouldn&#x27;t describe myself as lazy, necessarily (though you might!). I have just never done anything beyond the bare minimum. It has worked out reasonably well by most people&#x27;s standards, but I want to do more.<p>I am not just looking for words here... I really need a plan of action. A list of things I can do (not just think about) that could potentially lead to doing more.
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dmfdmf
Do you even want to change it? It doesn't sound like it to me but you have no
moral obligation to change the world or save it or start a business, be a
leader, etc.

Being "great" is hard work, not all its cracked up to be and may not make you
any happier than you are now and its not for everyone. Not to mention that
"great" is a normative concept and who's standards are we talking here, yours
or others? Do you want to be perceived as great in the eyes of others? Many
people do and they "succeed" but it doesn't make them happy. At some level
maybe you know that you are talented enough to be good but not talented enough
to be great even if you applied yourself 100%. Perhaps you hold back for ego-
protection and don't apply yourself lest you discover this fact.

You can see that your question is a bit complex and ultimately can only be
answered by you. Nevertheless, I think I can help you in your quest by sharing
an observation I've made about others. There are at least two types of
fundamentally unhappy people as far as I can tell. The first type (I mentioned
above in my first paragraph) are people who have no real self, no standards
and just seek, in various ways, the approval of others. It is sad but I know
many outwardly successful doctors, lawyers, business leaders, etc that are
miserable because they thought being successful in the eyes others would make
them happy.

The other unhappy class that I observe are people who ended up in jobs or
situations that are significantly below their ability. These are talented
people who never applied themselves, coasted through school and early life and
then one day found themselves trapped by their poor decisions. They failed to
apply their talent, to define who they are and what they would be and make an
effort to achieve it. This is the auto mechanic who could have been an
engineer or the grocery store clerk who could have been an electrician or a
businessman or the plumber who could have been a writer, etc. It is a special
kind of hell to be more talented than your job requires and many of these
types resort to alcohol or weed to ease the pain. (The unhappy doctors and
lawyers do too but the requirements of their jobs tends to limit the extent of
their drug use)

My advice is to find a career commensurate with your talents in a field that
you enjoy and don't worry about what others think. These are the happiest
types in my experience.

~~~
time-to-learn
My fear is that I am heading down the road you listed in the second scenario.
I think the problem is that it is so easy to just tell myself "No, you're
doing great. Look at where you are compared to 98% of the world". Even though
I know I am just coasting through life.

I have a very happy disposition by default, and I think this has kept me from
any action that could potentially cause an upheaval in the way I live. But I
can also feel a growing discontentedness with how I have lived my life so far
-- never truly challenging myself, never taking any risks, and never really
accomplishing anything great.

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pacnw
The answer is in your wording: 'I have a great and interesting job. I am
generally successful'.

That sounds like a pretty good going, so why change it by needing to be great?
It's not your fault that you don't care enough, it is your current
circumstance.

Often, greatness comes out of intense desire to change one's situation, more
as a byproduct.

You could try to simulate that intense desire by imagining dire situations,
such as losing your job next week, or as buddhists do, intensely visualize
pain, suffering and death to help others (Tibetan buddhism).

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kluck
I think you do not have enough intrinsic motivation [1] to start what you
crave to do (yet). Seek out for some idea/project that creates this inner
motivation and then it will be easy to start.

Edit: You wanted a plan of action: try as many different things as possible in
all areas. Start with something not related to computers ;)

[1]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motivation#Intrinsic_motivatio...](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motivation#Intrinsic_motivation)

~~~
time-to-learn
I definitely agree with your assessment. I have considered trying out a bunch
of new things -- I've never really done anything not related to computers.

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JSeymourATL
> I really need a plan of action. A list of things I can do...

Suggest reading the book Bold by Diamandis & Kotler; Chapter 5: The Secrets of
Going Big, page 113 - The Creed of the Persistent and Passionate Mind. There
you may find your list. >
[http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22609444-bold](http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22609444-bold)

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veddox
All the "great" people I can think of have something in common: they believed
in something, acted on it, and happened to become great while doing so.
Wanting to be great and then looking for a field to be great in seems to me to
be putting the cart in front of the horse.

So, question for you: what do you believe in? What do you care enough about to
devote your life to it?

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rorykoehler
Discipline. Decide what you want to do or work towards and do an hour of it
every day. You'd be surprised how far that can get you.

~~~
time-to-learn
I get very caught up in deciding what to do as well. A bit of decision
paralysis.

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GFK_of_xmaspast
Do you care about changing this enough to put in an effort?

~~~
time-to-learn
If I had some idea of what to do, yes I think so. I hope so, at the very
least.

