

Ask HN: work/sleep/continued productivity tips for new hacker dad - stevejalim

My wife and I are expecting a baby in a few weeks (our first, so it'll be a whole new world) and, while I'm planning on - and looking forward to - taking a couple of weeks out when s/he's born, I'm looking ahead to ways to remain as productive as possible after that, given the broken nights/early rises etc.<p>Some extra info: I am keen to share as much of the baby care as I can. I'm a contracting developer, plus am chipping away at on-the-side startup. I want to keep my current earning levels as they are. I usually work from home, in a dedicated office, but go on-site to clients once a week. I do drink coffee :o) I run, and will try to keep that up once a week at least.<p>What have other hacker dads/mums done to get through this initial phase? All tips very welcome.<p>Cheers!
Steve
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Killah911
Congrats Steve! Having been there myself, all I can say is hold on tight,
it'll be an interesting time to say the least.

While every situation is unique, I'd say expect to be playing the supporting
role for mom and baby. Getting used to certain paradigm shifts are also very
interesting. For example, once the baby's here, you're Dad first and Steve
second.

Expect the on-the-side startup to suffer, at least for the first 4 months.
Babies are particularly fragile at till about 4 months old. Even a minor cold
can turn into something very serious. So, it's a good think that you work from
home. That'll at least spare you from passing out in the middle of the day in
a company meeting while the speaker is directly addressing you.

I can't emphasize the supporting role enough. If mom can breastfeed the baby,
encourage her to do so long as she can (within reason of course, anywhere from
6mo~8mo should be good). Breastfed babies are generally less susceptible to
disease, have better brain development and a whole lot more. There's a huge
push from formula companies to get the baby on formula ASAP, resist this if
you're able to (it's a lot easier on the wallet too). However, this process
takes quite a toll on mom. So, expect to dedicate some energy dealing with all
the hormonal changes. Keep an eye out for postpartum depression (for both of
you, it can affect dads too).

Warnings and worries aside. You're probably going to be in for the time of
your life. Enjoy the baby. Watching them grow is by far one of the most
amazing experiences of my life. I can say for sure that I've learned and grown
a in that time as well. I look forward to coming home every day. It's given me
a whole new outlook on my extended family, community etc. It's been a big
motivator and creativity booster as well.

Again, congratulations and best wishes.

~~~
stevejalim
Hi - thanks for the sound advice, too. Am really looking forward to everything
that'll be kicking off in the next few weeks :o)

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japhyr
Our baby just turned 10 months old, and it has been more amazing than I could
ever have imagined. Something as simple as watching him learn to walk makes me
marvel at how we all learned to use these awkward bodies.

The clearest effect for me, work-wise, is the fragmentation of time. I am a
teacher during the day and a hacker on the side. I have always put in a couple
extra hours a day at school, getting in half an hour early and leaving an hour
after my official end of the day. Now I have to go in when school starts and
leave when school ends, to share the baby load. My time at home is incredibly
fragmented and busy, but also incredibly satisfying.

One unexpected plus is that I am more motivated to work efficiently than I
ever have been in my life. I do a much better job of prioritizing my work
energy than I ever have, because procrastinating, or focusing on too much low-
hanging fruit instead of the schlep that needs to get done, means I would
never finish anything.

My schedule has shifted a bit, and I keep adapting to the baby's changing
schedule. For example, he wakes me up around 3:30-4:00 in the morning several
days a week, needing about 10-60 minutes of soothing. Instead of going back to
sleep, I try to stay up and get a couple really focused hours in. It's pretty
awesome to get to spend some quiet middle-of-the-night time with your new
baby, thinking about what your parents must have done for you, and then get
some really focused work time in.

In short, be there for mom and baby, sleep when you can, work when you can,
and focus on the most important things in each of those areas.

(By the way, you also get to make fun things like this happen:
<http://www.flickr.com/photos/erinlandrews/5773878417/>)

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ianpri
Similar to you, I'm a contracting dev working mostly from home, father to a 10
week old, here's some tips I found useful:

\- getting into a routine is as important for the parents as the child, so
after a few weeks try and get some sort of rota for the chores etc, and when
the baby feeds. If your wife's breast feeding get her to express from 2 months
onwards and you can then get 'shifts' where she does breast feeding during the
nights and you take the early morning ones feeding via expressed bottle. You
can plan extended coding sessions between these feeds without feeling guilty

\- look into making batches of food you can freeze and heat up - stuff lie,
pies, lasagne etc and load them up with veggies, you can then just zap them in
microwave as you'll probably not have time for anything else, I made up a
months worth of food.

\- be prepared for lots of visitors and make sure they're aware that when your
in your office your not to be disturbed, I kept coming out to say hello and
it's easy to lose a few hours a day that way

\- look into the baby Einstein DVDs - they're like baby crack and give you
both 30 mins to jump in the shower/grab something to eat

\- swap the runs for walking the baby, I take mine for 3-4 mile walks after
the morning and leave the wife to catch up on sleep.

~~~
stevejalim
Thanks for the tips. It's reassuring to read that most of them are already on
the cards/in hand, but I think I'll try to swap some running for longer walks
with the baby. There's great walking where we live, so it'll fit perfectly.
Cheers!

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famoreira
Hi Steve,

Similar to you I'm expecting a baby anytime now and will be looking forward
for any tips you may get.

Congratulations and good luck putting these tips into practice!

