
Ask HN: Possible to recover from being a frustrated mediocrity for 30+ years? - throwaway1729
I've been reading HN for awhile. I'm using a throwaway account to ask for advice.<p>Basically, I am a failure. I do about three hours of work in a month, seriously. And I'm an entrepreneur with a dream schedule! I'm floating along on some contracts but It's only a matter of time before I'm found out.  More importantly I detest myself for this.<p>I've read god knows how many posts about finding your vision and achieving goals. I know what my perfect day looks like but I can't ever follow through. It's awful. I have a sick feeling in my stomach every night as another day is wasted. There's no end.<p>The worst is being a member of HN where so many accomplished people work. Seriously, if I could break this mental block or disease or whatever I could be like that! At least I think I could. I'm so bored with FP vs OP, language debates, stack overflow book recs and all that because I've studied them all before. I should be teaching the guys who ask those questions with my experience by now, yet I have no experience...<p>I'm over 30 years old. Can I change? Is it too late? Has anybody like me ever changed? If so I would love to hear from you.<p>All suggestions welcome. However, I do need to keep earning a living so taking a year off in Tibet is not going to work for me very well.
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noonespecial
_I do about three hours of work in a month, seriously...I'm floating along on
some contracts but It's only a matter of time before I'm found out._

I've had a few extended periods like this now (I'm only mid 30's myself). I
guess I have/had a different perspective. I called these times "success".

I do admit, it is a drink best consumed in moderation. I worked my ass off to
get those contracts that allowed me to float, but before long, I forgot that
initial effort and started to unconsciously believe that I'd lucked into the
whole thing, was an impostor and would soon be exposed.

A few things that helped:

Every once in a while I'd go up to the corporate headquarters of my biggest
contract and have a look around. It only took a few minutes to realize that my
few hours _per month_ were giving them more value than the paper-tied tps-
report generating slackers they paid $75k gave them working full time. Even if
I was the goof I felt myself in my darkest imaginations, _they were still
getting their money's worth._

I volunteered. I found some places that needed help desperately, and I was the
_smartest_ guy in the room, and I helped out.

I networked. I found some places where I was the _dumbest_ guy in the room and
I learned everything I could.

There are two universal truths _(1)_ no matter where you are in your journey.
There are people much smarter and more motivated than you and there are people
much dumber and less motivated than you. I found that putting myself in
situations where I could feel the gradient and my place on it was tremendously
motivating.

 _(1) If you happen to be Donald Knuth or Chuck Norris, you should probably
just ignore this whole section._

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tjt
I really needed to read this. Thank you.

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argus
Motivation has two dimensions: goal attractiveness, goal expectancy.

Goal attractiveness is basically how much do you want it and goal expectancy
is how much you believe you can attain the goal.

As you can see they are two perpendicular forces which directly affect the
direction your motivation/dedication towards attaining goals are pointing.

I don't know you, but a common problem many people face is that they look at
the world around them and focus on other people's achievements and wish for
the same. The only problem is on the motivation dimensions their scales get
way tipped over..

As an example, you may look at what is happening on HN and wish for what
Andrew Mason is doing with Groupon or Zuckerberg has achieved with FB. The
issue is that while that goal is extremely attractive the expectancy of you
achieving it is very negative and so the motivation vector ends up pointing in
the negative direction.

Developing this argument as I go along, I would therefore say that the correct
approach is to take stock of what your current strengths are, what your
challenges are and strategize a plan. Namely one that sets you up with small
bite sized goals which are positively geared for your current situation and
continually update the goal statuses. Maybe have daily, weekly, monthly,
quarterly and half yearly goals and work on them.

THEREFORE, you can definitely change, you just need to have realistic goals
and discipline to tough it out.

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latch
I find healthy people have more energy and are more focused. This always leads
to more motivation. Do you eat well? Exercise daily? Sleep properly? I still
think those are the three fundamental aspects of productivity/happiness. Of
course this is a generalization - we all know fat programmers who are hugely
(hahaha) successful. This shouldn't be controversial, the relationship between
poor health and poor productivity is well established. Of course, you need to
be honest with yourself, I've known some stupidly unhealthy people who thought
they were really healthy.

More specifically to programming, we all learn differently. Some like books,
some like videos, some are more hands on. Ultimately, you need to find what
works for you, and spend the time and do it. There's no quick fix/easy
solution. You need to spend time and get it done. I'd suggest small quick
projects so that you get the benefit of iterating and learning quickly. If you
aren't creative, contribute to something that interets you. Otherwise, pick
something that'll solve a real problem you have and go for it. Even something
as simple as documenting, you know, through a blog, your process can help.

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wisty
How are you able to work 30 hours a week? Are you lucky to be in some kind of
management position, or do you have some valuable skill that could be
productised?

As for motivation ... it's like a muscle. You can't lift 150 pounds if you've
been lying in bed all day for a year. Don't expect to work a 12 hour day,
either. Just get better.

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elb0w
Time and Experience should not go hand and hand, so dont let that stress you
out. I have worked with some devs in their 40+ that are horrible.

It seems like you know what you want, you are just afraid to try and lack the
motivation.

My advice, step away from the computer for a couple hours a day. Take a walk
or do some exercise, you would be amazed at how much that changes your mindset
for the better.

Unfortunately there is no magic words of advice or book you can read to solve
your problems. Sometimes you just need to man up, put the cards on the table
and do what needs to get done.

Best of luck, hang in there.

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staunch
Change your environment. Get a job working for a really demanding (but
intelligent/thoughtful) person.

Someone who's sort of Steve Jobs meets the drill instructor in Full Metal
Jacket.

Someone who will demand you push yourself and get out of your comfort zone.

Even a few months of working for someone like this can have an amazing effect
on a person. Kind of like when you see someone come back from a military boot
camp.

Definitely not the only way, but it really does work.

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keiferski
Stop focusing on the results (being accomplished, getting things done, etc.)
and learn to enjoy the process. Don't worry about working so you can enjoy a
reward; learn to enjoy the work itself (or find something else that you do
enjoy).

Life's too short to waste time today for a potential reward tomorrow.

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nickthedart
Maybe its because your work is too solitary? It is very difficult to remain
motivated when working alone as you don't get the feedback of having seen
people benefit from your work and have a smile. Unfortunately this seems to be
how a lot of IT/computing work is by its nature.

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evangineer
Find other people's projects and/or ventures that you genuinely believe in and
can honestly contribute and commit to. Then get stuck in. By doing this, you
will build up your skills and more importantly build up your work habits.

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abbasmehdi
You haven't found your passion, something worth dying for. Like they say, you
only start living once you start living outside of yourself.

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phektus
1\. Realize that wasting time is getting you closer to your deathbed

2\. Try to write some short term goals on a piece of paper or notebook

3\. Google pomodoro technique

4\. appomodoro.appspot.com

5\. Start working your @#$ off

...

6\. PROFIT!

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cerebrum
what helped me was a supportive work environment a smart boss who managed to
make me work. this is hard to find though. being on your own is poison. find
people who can work with you and motivate you. humans are not meant to be
alone.

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johnny22
Assumption: I bet you'd step up the plate if somebody actually depended on
you.

EDIT: i don't mean have kids :)

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zoowar
Please don't reproduce.

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phlux
Saving

