
Conference call simulator - rnl
http://conferencecall.biz/
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Q6T46nT668w6i3m
Oh, man. I wrote this thing with my buddy @weinventyou.

~~~
athenot
It's pretty funny considering I work on one of those meeting products. It's
also an excellent reminder for me of all the UX pain points involved in
distributed meetings. Tech can be great but if UI has any friction, the
overall UX will suffer.

~~~
Q6T46nT668w6i3m
If it makes you feel better, I hate video conferences but will readily admit
they’ve made my life easier!

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loudandskittish
I've seen this before and still can't figure out if it's an ad or a Godspeed
You Black Emperor song.

~~~
noelwelsh
Not enough guitars for Godspeed, I reckon, but it definitely deserves a place
alongside "Telephone and Rubber Band"
([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWZ4pve5Mkc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWZ4pve5Mkc))
and "Opus Number 1"
([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqB8v14U_zs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqB8v14U_zs)).
Any other good telephone related tracks?

~~~
seltzered_
Laurie Anderson - O Superman.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vkfpi2H8tOE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vkfpi2H8tOE)

Plaid & Bob Jaroc - War Dialer:
[https://youtu.be/sfLQ8EEoKeU?t=22s](https://youtu.be/sfLQ8EEoKeU?t=22s)

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nickjj
I was only able to get through about 30 seconds before cringing, but does it
eventually include someone who spends 10 minutes eating an apple dipped in
dorito chips?

It's always the person who has a $500 microphone set up too, so you get to not
only hear them chew, but you can even hear the inner workings of their
esophagus swallowing every bite.

~~~
JumpCrisscross
> _does it eventually include someone who spends 10 minutes eating an apple
> dipped in dorito chips?_

My favourite was a conference call on which, for ten minutes, we heard
someone’s three year olds puking, crying, screaming and crapping themselves
while the mom tried to clean up with the mute button accidentally disengaged.

~~~
oh_sigh
Why didn't someone say "Hey Helen, you know you're not on mute right?"

~~~
JumpCrisscross
> _Why didn 't someone say "Hey Helen, you know you're not on mute right?"_

Helen was dealing with puking, crying, screaming and crapping themselves. We
were taking too long planning a budget.

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anonu
I feel like this would be good visual art display at the MoMA.. you know the
videos that play endlessly in some dark room behind a black curtain...

~~~
pjscott
Agreed. It's evocative, and _way_ better than the exhibit where the clown
weeps at you continuously.

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hateful
I've been listening for about a half hour now. It feels like I joined a
meeting and I'm completely ignoring it. It's so satisfying.

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xpe
This is, simultaneously:

* an all-too-realistic snapshot of corporate life

* a sobering commentary on the state of conference call norms and terribly interoperating related technologies

* if Bladerunner met Office Space

* a playbook on how to respond to various real-world conference call mishaps

* the funniest thing I've seen in some time

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csours
Me: [finishes summarizing work items x,y,z]

PM: Ok, thanks, so could we just get an update on work items x,y,z

Me: ...

\---

I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed ... and mad. I assume he heard parts of
what I was saying and it triggered some rudimentary pattern recognition in his
brain stem that remembered he was interested in x, y, and z.

~~~
jachee
"Sorry, was I on mute?"

~~~
csours
jachee? I guess we've lost jachee.

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flipp3r
Almost real, it's just missing loud audio feedback loops.

~~~
CoolGuySteve
Also no mystery heavy breather/loud typer.

~~~
jachee
Mine had a Loud Typer, and someone called on them to mute out. Just like IRL.

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TeMPOraL
We have a guy with a mechanical keyboard on the team. After a while people
just started muting him in Hangouts. It's not even the mechanical keyboard
itself that's the problem, but the way it interacts with whatever noise-
filtering algorithms Hangouts runs.

~~~
dharmab
I love mechs. I hate that no business VoIP app has push-to-talk. I keep having
to switch windows to unmute, talk, and mute myself.

~~~
qmr
> I love mechs.

Your office neighbors do not.

~~~
dharmab
Nobody minds since we're in an open office anyway so everyone has to wear
headphones to block all noise to get any serious work done.

Or, y'know, we work from home.

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javiramos
From the same artist: [http://doonaldjtrump.com/](http://doonaldjtrump.com/)

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christophilus
Reminds me of this one:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNz82r5nyUw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNz82r5nyUw)

Makes me laugh every time.

~~~
ryandrake
That one is great. I totally lost it at the part with the dog. Scary and
accurate.

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smadsen
I could totally see this as a museum exhibit. Where I work, we regularly have
people dial in from a downtown office and almost every call features sirens in
the background. Needs more sirens.

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MartianSquirrel
For some reason the desktop version has some background music (mobile does not
it seems?) which makes it so much more relaxing.

~~~
Bartweiss
The music is perfectly done, very understated and somewhere between soothing
and menacing. I'm not even sure what to compare it to, some of the better
produced podcasts maybe. Indirectly, Starship Titanic or Lot 2046 or
something?

~~~
King-Aaron
It reminded me of some of the 'hidden' tracks at the end of Tool albums.

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gandreani
This is trauma inducing. Well done

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eeZah7Ux
Dystopian and soul-crushing, just like the real thing.

The visuals remind me of Koyaanisqatsi - I'd love Philip Glass as a
soundtrack.

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Bluecobra
Listening to this at work is perfect, as all the noisy people who sit near me
is bleeding through my headphones.

God, I hate open offices and conference calls/webinars.

edit: it's even better with multiple tabs open.

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closeparen
This is a nice reality check for remote-work partisans.

Yeah, we have the technology, but in practice you get this...

~~~
hegz
Thats why async systems like issue trackers work well. Also has the benefit of
having everything written down and searchable.

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rkho
Not enough "Hey, who just joined?"

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deusofnull
i only made it to like the 3rd audio sample and this is honestly and genuinely
unbearable. great job capturing that feeling. good work.

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laverick
This is amazing. Belongs in a museum.

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arthur_pryor
this thing is great. don't have time to listen to it right now and see if it's
changed at all, but when i listened to it last summer, i loved it. feels all
too real.

i opened a radio show with 5 minutes of it once. then i sent it to some
friends and half of them thought my email had been hacked and used to send out
a phishing link (i felt bad after the fact for making it seem a little more ok
to click on sketchy links).

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taborj
This is a little too real.

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bpchaps
This is oddly relaxing to listen to. It's as if it's the background noise for
90% of my day to day work.

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King-Aaron
Wait, do you mean the _internet_ or the _internet_?

Ooh sorry, I mean the _interrrnet_ , not the _interrrrrnet_

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redorb
I find this to be genius / fun and scary - a perfect balance.

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canadianwriter
Oh wow, when the dog started barking - amazing. This is dead on!

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tantalor
Do I hear Kai Ryssdal?

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tantalor
This one?

[https://s3.amazonaws.com/conferencecall.biz/audio/78.mp3](https://s3.amazonaws.com/conferencecall.biz/audio/78.mp3)

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Domenic_S
Thanks, I hate it.

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rkho
Reminds me of the bank I used to write code for.

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itomato
I'm billing for this.

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Raed667
Hit too close to home.

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deathhand
This is so soothing that I fell asleep to it.

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recursify
I could watch this for hours.

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code4tee
Sadly very accurate

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zubairlk
Hello... Hello...

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7ewis
Do people still do conference calls nowadays?

Using Hangouts has kind of eliminated the conference call problem for me.
Audio quality is great, you can see who is speaking or know who wants to speak
if the mute icon disappears.

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Raed667
Even with Skype or hangout, someone at home always has a bandwidth issue so
no-cam, also constant echo issues and typing sound almost triggers PTSD for
me.

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jboy55
I've lost count how many meetings I been in where I completely lost what the
speaker was saying because someone was clickly clacking on their keyboard the
whole time. The requisite "Whomever is typing please mute yourself!", never
works because the typist is never paying attention.

There should be an app that logs you into your mandatory conference calls so
you can get the checkmark for attending, but completely isolates the user.
Then, when you suddenly have to talk, and someone pings you, it will call you,
and while its ringing it will play a pre-recorded, 'Oh damn, I think I'm
having connection issues, can you repeat the question?'

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Aeolun
Zoom allows the call owner to mute everyone. That has been great for killing
the typers.

