
Being a bad friend to David Foster Wallace - the-enemy
https://www.the-tls.co.uk/articles/public/errors-are-intentional-foster-wallace/
======
S-E-P
Subversion by sincerity

I strive to be sincere, although as my life has taught me, people can rarely
be trusted. In my experience, when I do finally find someone that can be
trusted, it is then that the fruits of my sincerity show.

I'm often sincere simply because it makes me smile when someone did not expect
it, and watching them attempt to process/respond is something that brings me
joy. Simply by exposure to sincerity, many have returned in kind; this has
allowed me to help others, and even get advice for situations that one would
only usually ever save for an advice columnist. (which rarely actually give
you the advice you need, easier to give you want you want to hear, and it will
keep you reading)

After reading this, I could not help but reflect on my own decisions when
striving for sincerity. It's not exactly free of pain or the subsequent shame
that can often follow, but why do I feel the need to stick with it? I think it
comes down to my personality, I have rough edges and can take a royal beating,
which is the kind of constitution you must have if you ever want to be
sincere.

With sincerity, there is vulnerability, and while many consider that to be
weakness, I count it a strength. Just don't be surprised if someone hurts you
after you were sincere, it does not protect you, and to some, me included, we
don't care, and neither should you. Pain is part of life; much better to be
real and to be present then to be without pain and truly alone.

~~~
pjmorris
> With sincerity, there is vulnerability, and while many consider that to be
> weakness, I count it a strength.

I, too, count vulnerability a strength. There's an essay I keep meaning to
write about it, but the short of it is that each of us has needs (and 'rough
edges'), that can't be filled by self-sufficiency, but by connection. And
vulnerability is what makes connection possible.

------
6stringmerc
Wallace's writing never resonated with me, which is strange based on my
longtime interest in Hunter S. Thompson. In many ways there are parallels in
their respective fame / accolades / audiences and yet, to me, Wallace seemed
inexcusably contrived compared to Thompson's seeming dismissal of convention
was out of necessity (at least initially - it did become an act of sorts
later).

I did find one part of this article worth considering beyond just a discussion
of Wallace:

> _For twenty years, his entire career, Wallace wrestled with a question: How
> much of myself am I willing to give away to get what I want?_

...followed by...

> _He got what he wanted and didn’t want._

If there's any one dynamic that is willfully ignored by almost everybody in
modern society - especially in the rise of Social Media Stardom (aka
Soundcloud Rappers & Influencers) - this hits the nail on the head.

Wallace, to me, is more interesting as a case study of failure in success than
as a literary powerhouse. Not everybody can be like Jerry Lewis and keep up an
act for a lifetime.

~~~
FooHentai
May you live in interesting times

May you find what you are looking for

May you come to the attention of somebody important

AKA the three curses.

------
psergeant
The people I know to whom DFW appeals tend to be those who think they’re
smarter than they are. There is no judgement inherent in this observation.

~~~
coldtea
A lot of people who consider others as "thinking to be smarter than they are"
are simply anti-intellectual in general, and tend to see any effort towards
the arts, reading, philosophy, etc that's not marketable or job-related as
pretension.

There is some judgement inherent in this observation.

~~~
tlb
I approve of people thinking they're smarter than they are, because that's a
worthy aspiration. Compared to, say, people who think they're hipper or more
attractive than they are. If it makes people read literature that stretches
their mind, that's great.

Pretension can be the first step towards not needing to pretend.

~~~
mcguire
Pretension tends to be satisfied with appearances---carrying the literature
around rather than actually reading it.

~~~
thatcat
Having it around is a prerequisite to reading it.

