

Ask HN: Opinion on "How to Care for Introverts" - olliesaunders

See: http://imgur.com/b1dmB.jpg<p>A few questions come to my mind:<p>- Shouldn't a lot of this apply to extraverts too? If not, why not?<p>- Do introverts really need special treatment?
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chinmi
I consider myself very introverted, but I think that most of the items on the
list you can learn to deal with whether you are extra- or introverted. Most
essential though :

-Respect their need for privacy (yeah)

-Let them observe first in new situations (would make me more comfortable)

-Teach them new skills privately rather than in public (i would learn faster)

-Respect their introversion, don't remake them into extraverts (can get annoying sometimes)

-Give them time to think. Don't demand instant answers (OMG YESS!!)

Of course I can only speak for myself..

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diiq
Treat them as a friend and a person. A label as broad and misunderstood as
'introvert' will only hinder you in enjoying their company when you have it.

It's probably best not to 'care' for anyone but yourself and (perhaps) those
physically unable. Just befriend the rest of us, please.

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ScottWhigham
Why don't you start the conversation and maybe we'll feel compelled to join
in? Sorry - it irks me when I see posts asking for personal
information/thoughts yet the author provides none of his own.

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pasbesoin
As part of a corporate job, I was put through some training that emphasized
understanding different personality and communication types, in order to
better understand and interact with that variety in coworkers and clients.

Unfortunately, the training did not transfer to the broad corporate policy,
which kept squeezing people closer together, lowering or eliminating cube
walls -- moving to something approaching open space -- and insisting everyone
multi-task both workload and their physical environment, tuning out a plethora
of surrounding activity -- including your cubette (only two low walls per
seat) partner's meetings three feet away from you.

In other words, the extroverted (often "management" types; though introverts
can make good managers under other circumstances) dominated. Other personality
types suffered. Those with enough seniority and clout took to working from
home.

The lesson: If you match the description on this list, don't expect such
treatment from the general population. Work to put yourself in a position
where they have no choice. That can be a very difficult lesson for an
introvert: Valuing yourself in a disparaging world, and putting yourself first
before that world drains you.

Many introverts have a strong need for social connection. Often we subsume
ourselves in an attempt to create and maintain it. This eventually makes
everyone very unhappy. Turning the list into a list of things that you do for
yourself -- that you insist upon -- is a better approach. Then follow up with
the people who respect this.

This doesn't rule out extroverts. Some get it. Others learn. Especially when
they find out their normal approach gets them nowhere.

