

If operating systems ran the airlines... - tbrock
http://www.zyra.org.uk/os-air.htm

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Linux Airways

The pilots, stewards and mechanics are all either 15 or 60 years old. The
planes are all either six hours or fourty years old. Wherever you turn up to
fly, the plane you want to fly on is in a heap of parts on the runway and the
employees are bickering over it, mostly ignoring you. A few try to convince
you that it's perfectly fine by pointing to other airlines and other airports
where you can see Linux Airways flights taking off on schedule, with well
built aircraft and regular people working there, and publishing impressive
safety and efficiency statistics. You set off to that airport instead, but
when you arrive it's like chasing the end of a rainbow from here it looks
exactly the same as the previous airport. You look at the previous airport,
the heap of parts is gone and the planes are flying at regular intervals. You
wonder if this is the twilight zone.

You get so engrossed in the heap of plane parts on the runway because nobody
has let you see so much of the insides of a plane before. You spend the next
fortnight redesigning the seating plan to account for passengers with
Fibrodysplasia ossificans who can't bend their legs, apparently that's a big
problem, not noticing that you haven't travelled anywhere yet and you had
somewhere to be.

Mac Airlines

Sometimes you end up landing in a remote field; other passengers will gather
around telling you which wires to pull out of which engine management units
and where to put them. As soon as you take off again, everyone pulls together
and says it didn't happen. Some passengers don't arrive at their destination.
This never happened.

There's a bit of fuss because the Wright Brothers are dead and the passengers
aren't yet sure if planes can still exist and keep flying.

Windows 8 Air

Passengers refuse to fly because the stewardesses have new buttons on their
uniforms. Passengers who try to fly are often faced with barely edible meals,
luggage compartments that can't hold their bags, and stewards with barely
intelligible speech impediments. The supply companies suggest these services
were designed for Windows XP Air and have you tried running in compatibility
mode and disabling Windows Firewall and UAC?

