
Ask HN: Effective communication in the office? - vishaalk
Hi HN,<p>I am working on some soft skills in the office, and this might seem dumb, but I am trying to figure out how to write requests and comments that are constructive and firm but not intrusive or abrasive.<p>For example, a co-worker said they&#x27;d schedule a meeting for tomorrow, and I wanted to point it out to them that they made the meeting at the wrong time, so I said:<p>&quot;For the meeting, it looks like you scheduled it for today instead of tomorrow&quot;, and he responded a little coldly, so unsure how I came across.<p>Another example is the way I ask for things. From a sentence today,<p>&quot;if you have some bandwidth, I was wondering if you could [do X because Y]&quot;<p>I needed the data by the next day but this person just came back from vacation and had a big backlog, so I wasn&#x27;t sure how to convey that but also be respectful of their time. My boss needed the data for a presentation to his boss but it was a little unclear how important the data, so I sort of let it slide. I ended up getting the data anyway.<p>Does anyone have guidelines, maybe books, or examples of converting common phrases to get the point across?<p>Apologies if I am overanalyzing.<p>Thanks for any help!
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anacleto
I would recommend two books:

[0] How to Win Friends and Influence People

[1] How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

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[0]
[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4865.How_to_Win_Friends_...](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4865.How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People?ac=1&from_search=true)

[1]
[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/769016.How_to_Talk_So_Ki...](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/769016.How_to_Talk_So_Kids_Will_Listen_Listen_So_Kids_Will_Talk?ac=1&from_search=true#)

