
Square Inc. Co-Founder Tristan O’Tierney Dies at 35 - smaili
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-03-02/square-inc-co-founder-tristan-o-tierney-dies-at-35
======
whbk
Sorry to see this. My last year of college, with absolutely zero experience in
tech I tried to build a fintech startup that needed seamless processing of
micro-payments and so I pinged Tristan in the early days of Square's beta
program when they were just shipping out card readers asking if they might
expose an API in the near future. Small interaction, but he got back to me and
coming from the Midwest, that was my first experience with how open Silicon
Valley can be, with a co-founder at one of the hottest startups taking the
time to respond to some random college kid interested in kicking the tires on
his project. My project went nowhere but I had fun exploring the tech
involved, decided to learn to code, made it out here and am now running a
venture-backed startup after a couple engineering jobs. I thought just the
fact that he responded was really cool at the time and try not to blow off
cold emails like that as a result.

~~~
kethinov
I went to high school with him. That's how he was with me as well when I
randomly said to him one day, "Hey you seem better at this computer
programming thing than me. Let's hang out." I too credit Tristan with helping
me transition from computer programmer novice to computer programmer
professional.

------
newprint
Last year, at age 35, I started drinking heavily. I would buy a bottle of
Absolute and would not stop till I see the bottom of it. 2 bottles a week at
min. About 5-6 months, I've stopped drinking without anyone's help.

Yesterday and today, I'm having a strong urge to get completely wasted. Just
go to the store around the block, buy bottle of Absolute.

Yesterday, while driving on I-695, I saw a guy with a child seat on the back
seat and thought to myself: "I want that too".

Tristan O’Tierney dies at 35, survived by his three-old-year daughter.

~~~
0x8BADF00D
I'm surprised you were able to function the next day with that amount. I
recently turned 30, and I definitely cannot drink as much as I used to. I get
an allergic response to alcohol, which really sucks because I used to enjoy
it. There is a mutation in OPRM1 in certain populations that causes your
opiate receptors (particularly mu subtype) to release endorphins when
drinking. I've definitely had that happen to me when I used to drink heavily.
But that changed when I took LSD-25. While I still drink, it is nowhere near
the same level as when I was younger, and I attribute that to my psychedelic
experiences. Stay strong.

~~~
protomyth
You’d be surprised how much a person can routinely drink and still function. I
grew up and now work in a high alcohol abuse area, and some of the folks that
were abusing surprised me. Sadly, I’m sure when their body said enough it came
as a surprise to them too.

Keep safe folks

~~~
BartBoch
It's important to say that the way of drinking is probably everything. No
shots, avoiding sugary mixers, avoiding beer if possible (at least the cheaper
ones), never mixing different alcohols (even the same type, but of different
brands).

The worse you feel the next day after alcohol means the more significant
damage you did to your body. If you feel fresh, it says that the damage was
almost non-existent (besides liver, which, if you drink a lot of alcohol you
should take care separately). Then drinking a lot of water before going to bed
will help your body to clean from alcohol.

It's all about alcohol-drinking culture. In some countries drinking alcohol
2-4 times a week is normal (as long as you don't drink to get wasted). But I
have seen places (for example Ireland), where drinking to get wasted is an
ultimate goal 2-4 times a week. That's the problem imo. Better education and
public awareness would help a lot.

~~~
dajohnson89
is there any evidence that mixing alcohols or drinking cheap booze is worse
for you?

~~~
BartBoch
Try it, then try drinking only one type of better alcohol. Compare how you
feel the next day. That should say a lot. It's rather common knowledge that is
not proven scientifically.

There has been a lot of talk about it for years in many sport/gym related
communities. Those people know how to observe their bodies and reaction.

------
brightball
I’ve never been a heavy drinker, but at one point 2 years ago I handled a
project by myself to move 6 million dollars a month in charity transactions
from one uncooperative payment processor to another.

I normally handled stress well, but this was a different level and it was
physically taxing on me. I had a glass of wine one night about 3 weeks into
this and immediately felt so much better that I ended up having 3-4 / night
for 3 months just to cope with the stress.

As soon as the project ended (successfully I might add), I stopped...but I’ll
never forget how much I felt like I needed the alcohol during that time. I’ve
never experienced that in my life but it gave me a new appreciation for what
it must be like to really struggle with the addiction. If I felt like that
every day I don’t know what I’d do.

Sincerest condolences to his family.

~~~
sn41
I wish there was a way to reduce stress the way you describe alcohol does, but
without the tolerance-related escalation and the addiction. I have been trying
meditation and progressive relaxation - they do work, but only for a limited
duration. 2 hours later, you're back to being jittery and edge-of-the-seat.

~~~
rubicon33
There is. It's called physical exercise.

~~~
taneq
People have a wide range of different responses to both exercise and alcohol
(along with everything else). For me, exercise does feel like it helps but it
also takes physical and mental resources. Also, I tend to exercise more when I
have more time available, ie. when I'm less busy and under less pressure, so
there's a pretty strong confounding factor involved.

Used for relaxation, alcohol is a quick-fix solution but sometimes that's what
you need. A crutch is great for a few days when you've got a sprained ankle
and still need to march. Just don't make it a permanent part of your life.

------
newnewpdro
Part of what drove me to leave the SF tech industry was the normalized daily
alcohol consumption.

At one startup in SOMA, on my first day the CEO introduced me to the team and
pressured me to drink a shot of booze as was the company's tradition. My first
group interaction with the entire company (~30 heads) was responding "water"
to the CEO's question "so what's you're drink?" asked while standing next to a
bar on wheels rolled over for the occasion, which I had to repeat two or three
times, when he repeated the question expecting me to cave under pressure.

Utter stupidity, may as well be insisting I smoke a cigarette from my
perspective.

~~~
mb_72
I left one software company, in part because they developed apps for pubs and
restaurants, and most of the other employees came from a hospitality
background and wanted to get wasted each Friday night. That I wanted to a)
spend time with my daughter (on alternating weeks) or b) just go home and
chill out alone was not acceptable, and my disinterest in the partying culture
lead to many cold shoulders at work also. Much younger me had not even
considered asking about the 'after-work' culture when interviewing; lesson
learned!

------
rswail
If someone gets a cancer, we don't judge them for having weak DNA replication.

If someone gets an infectious disease, we don't judge them for having a weak
immune system.

If someone becomes addicted to a substance, we shouldn't judge them for having
a weak physical or psychiatric system.

Addiction is a disease and should be treated as such. All of the xA
(Alcoholics/Narcotics/Gambling etc) Anonymous are fine communal assistance
groups, but addiction is not about will power.

~~~
otabdeveloper2
> If someone becomes addicted to a substance

Are you mad? Nobody suddenly becomes 'addicted'. Addiction is something you do
willfully and deliberately to yourself. Addiction is not a disease, it is a
form of self-harm.

~~~
system2
In his examples addiction is a mental illness/disorder. I agree, it is really
hard to understand why would anyone get addicted to something out of thin air,
but it happens apparently and it is a very big problem. Most of the homeless
people you see out there are not just mentally ill; they are addicted.

"Self-harm" you mentioned is a mental problem. Yes, none of these are like
cancer and deadly at first, but they really can turn deadly if no one helps.
It is hard for me to understand too, but I don't take anything for granted. We
never know what would trigger all these. I am sure he didn't want to die at 35
and leave her 3 years old kid behind with his wife alone.

------
pkaye
When I was diagnosed with kidney disease, I was one step into stage 5 kidney
failure where dialysis is considered. However there were very few outward
signs. Even my PCP was not expecting it when he ordered a standard lot of
tests. Our bodies don't always have clear signs of things going wrong. Make
sure to have regular checkups.

~~~
walshemj
Same with me though my kidney failure was caused by Sarkoid and that was
diagnosed early with chronic kidney failure as the sarcoid expressed its's
self one of my eyes.

IT was only when I was having an untrasound that the problem in the kidney was
found and I had a couple of decades of managed decline before I went on to the
transplant list.

~~~
pkaye
Mine is IgA Nephropathy. Its an autoimmune disease where your immune cells
attack your kidneys. Might is the rapidly progressing one. More common is the
slow progressing one people can manage.

~~~
walshemj
OH sorry to hear that are you on Dialysis yet?

------
silversurfer99
It is not impossible to stop using and drinking completely. I am a very high
performing software engineer and 20 years ago I had an opioid problem. I
experienced bad things and out of control things as part of my addiction. My
thinking was nuts. Yes I could have killed myself. My productivity dropped so
much I was told "all the managers are wondering about you," but no one could
figure it out, because I didn't seem like the type. I quit my job. Then I did
the whole rigamarole of getting clean and I followed the suggestions of people
who had struggled with the same problem and gotten freedom around it. I still
do that. I am saying this (under a brand new login) because if there are
people out there who are feeling hopeless, there is hope for you. I don't
think about using anymore and I have learned tools to deal with my
(substantial) success. You can too. The best thing was I got clean when my son
was very young, he never saw me loaded, I had a good and stable relationship
with his mother, and my son has no attraction to drugs or alcohol at this
point. I was raised in an alcoholic home so I can't tell you the sense of
accomplishment and gratitude I have about that. You don't have to be a genius
to do this. You need willingness and honesty and you need to get some help.
Good luck, I am rooting for you.

------
tippecanoe
For those who have a problem with alcohol from being a bit of a drunk to an
addict, there's a pill for that: Naltrexone, taken one hour before drinking,
blocks positive reinforcement for drinking alcohol. This treatment is called
the "Sinclair method."

Studies show Naltrexone and the Sinclair method prevents excessive consumption
and over time can extinguish addiction. Over the course of a year alcoholics
can basically totally lose interest in alcohol.

It's not a fringe treatment. It has been the standard of care in Finland for
decades.

Here is a global listing of physicians familiar with the treatment:
[https://cthreefoundation.org/find-a-
physician](https://cthreefoundation.org/find-a-physician)

These board certified physicians prescribe it in many states in the US via
telemedicine consultations: [https://www.mdproactive.com/what-we-
treat/alcohol-use-disord...](https://www.mdproactive.com/what-we-
treat/alcohol-use-disorder)

(I'm suggesting this online practice because I understand it may be hard to
find a physician familiar with this treatment in some areas in the United
States.)

I went from being a bit of a drunk even by American standards to having no
interest in alcohol after a couple pills.

The first time I took it, I knew it could have saved by grandfather's life.

It's really heartbreaking that so few people know about this treatment.

Anyone who likes alcohol would be amazed how useless it is without the opioid
response (that Naltrexone blocks).

You can find papers about this on Google scholar:
[https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C14&q=sin...](https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C14&q=sinclair+method+alcohol&btnG=&oq=sinclair+method+alc)

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naltrexone](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naltrexone)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53JObexh0w0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53JObexh0w0)
[https://www.amazon.com/Cure-Alcoholism-Medically-
Eliminate-A...](https://www.amazon.com/Cure-Alcoholism-Medically-Eliminate-
Addiction/dp/1937856135/)
[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdeh0LP6kuSQ9GsorQpVnUw](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdeh0LP6kuSQ9GsorQpVnUw)

~~~
twblalock
What an incredibly dangerous suggestion that people seek out a prescription
for this kind of drug online at mdproactive or anywhere else.

You also did not mention that a number of studies have shown this drug to be
only modestly effective at treating alcohol abuse, and that there are better
treatments. It can also cause liver damage. It's not a magic pill.

~~~
freerobby
Show your sources. The studies that indicate it’s not effective are in
comparison to a placebo when alcohol is NOT consumed with the drug. The
Sinclair method is very specific about taking the drug with alcohol (and
measuring its reduced usage over time).

To my knowledge liver damage has only been documented at doses far beyond what
the Sinclair method directs.

Edit: source as requested below:
[https://academic.oup.com/alcalc/article/36/1/2/137995](https://academic.oup.com/alcalc/article/36/1/2/137995)

~~~
peter_l_downs
Show your sources too, please

~~~
freerobby
Added to the original comment, thanks.

------
MichaelNeely
I am an alcoholic and I have been fighting for my life for 30 years. I also
tried to disprove the AA program for 23 years. After I didn't drink for 6
years I tried it again and resumed how messed up my life was. Now after 1 year
in AA and working "the program," my life is getting to be the best I have had
as an adult...and a coder.

------
SteveNuts
Wow this is really sad. Everyone reading this, please take care of yourself.
Physically and mentally.

~~~
gotocake
I would add that if you feel like taking care of yourself is impossible,
overwhelming, or not worth it, there is no reason on Earth to not seek help.
There is no shame in getting the help you need!

------
jes5199
Holy shit. Tristan. We argued about code quality. I learned a lot from you.
I’m so sorry.

------
adventured
Some of the photographs in his portfolio are amazing, I'd suggest a look:

[http://otierney.net/cities](http://otierney.net/cities)

~~~
jsjohnst
If you like those, here’s a bunch more:

[https://500px.com/tristan](https://500px.com/tristan)

[https://instagram.com/tristan](https://instagram.com/tristan)

[https://www.flickr.com/photos/tristanotierney/](https://www.flickr.com/photos/tristanotierney/)

I’m coordinating a memorial in San Francisco the end of this month. We intend
to have it at an art gallery with his photography on display. If you want to
be notified about it, reach out (contact info on my profile).

~~~
sah2ed
I trust there are separate plans to preserve his websites & photos on
archive.org’s wayback machine.

~~~
placer
I managed to preserve the 500px one:
[http://archive.is/RLc2g](http://archive.is/RLc2g)

------
nerdbaggy
Such a shame that these amazingly intelligent people can’t find peace of mind

~~~
mamon
Happiness, for all I know is basically the ability to ignore sad and
inconvenient truths about the world around you. The smarter you are, the
harder it is to maintain this delusion.

~~~
DesiLurker
I have learnt to find some joy in watching my young kids. They haven't been
corrupted/encumbered by it all. Secondly, the hope is that as they grow the
world will slowly improve with them as shown by some long term data. Third,
meditating helps! it helps me get out of my own thinking framework and make
some breathing room for myself.

Lastly, I feel there is a very important reality that we all are largely
unaware of it is that (IMHO) we live our lives in log scale, meaning generally
every new experience creates much lighter impression than the one by say a few
years ago. if you accept that (barring physical discomfort) world is not such
a bad place compare to even a few decades ago.

~~~
distances
World isn't perfect for sure but it is indeed eye-opening to sometimes check
how much worse things were as recently as 70s and 80s. Helps to put today's
issues into perspective, and be a bit more content.

------
threatofrain
Alcohol is such an incredibly shitty drug I don't understand why it's so
popular and why people don't substitute it with another drug. What's most
curious is why people don't do drug substitution for cost mitigation.

------
fireattack
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Square,_Inc](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Square,_Inc).
has zero mention of his name (and only list Dorsey and McKelvey as founders).
Is he really not a co-founder or Wikipedia is wrong?

------
sarah_k
It was alcohol addiction.

~~~
dsnuh
Reading this on mobile, and there is a huge ad for Belvedere Vodka. Just like
the "Fuck Cancer" movement, it's time we had a "Fuck Alcohol" movement. I'm
hoping with cannabis gaining more and more support throughout the US that we
see a drop-off in alcohol consumption. It may take a generation or two, but I
think it's time to drop this poison as a society.

R.I.P. and so sorry to hear that his young daughter will not get to know her
father.

~~~
jdavis703
I get high from cannabis about once a week, so I’m not a tee-totaler. But weed
is no substitute for alcohol if you’re concerned about addiction. The main
reason that I used to drink to excess was to drown my anxiety / depression. I
had a wake up call a few years ago and now only drink or get high on
weekends... but what I’ve learned since then is it’s much better to treat your
mental health problems with mindfulness and meditation (or even a therapist).

~~~
dsnuh
I'm not saying it is a substitute for alcohol, but I will take someone
addicted psychologically to weed over someone psychologically and physically
addicted to alcohol any day of the week.

------
edilikeseggs44
It sounds like Tristan did alot of good for people and was very successful in
his Career, He just had an addiction and couldn't overcome it. I feel
especially bad for his Parents, Family, his girlfriend and his 3 year old
Daughter most of all. When she gets older she will fairly barely even remember
him or maybe she wont remember him at all. This is such a sad story and he was
just so young.

------
abrookins
Very sad news. Most people I’ve met treat alcohol as a casual, mostly harmless
substance. On the other hand, the world is filled with people dying quickly
and slowly from alcohol addiction. This discrepancy can be very confusing,
especially for young people, as it’s often not clear which camp you’ll fall
into — until it’s too late.

Personally, I think alcohol is worth giving up. Why find out how bad things
can get? In my case, I quit 10 years ago. In that time, I’ve built a career as
a software developer, grown a marriage, and become a father. I have a great
social life, deeper friendships than I ever had while drinking, and have
replaced the access to creativity I used to feel by drinking alcohol with
running and meditation. Sobriety is an extremely viable path.

------
sidcool
RIP.

We need to support each other in times of need. Any addiction has as much a
social component as psychological. Startups are hard and it has different
effect on different people. Talk to your friends. Seek help, professional or
personal.

------
winslow
Take care of your health everyone. Health, Family, & Friends are all more
important than work.

Note: I'm not saying work caused this, especially since he was set for life
with his work at Square (according to the article).

------
adjkant
Stumbled upon his twitter bio while reading the comments and thought it was
appropriate to post here:

"Square Co-Founder turned traveling photographer. Searching for the meaning of
life and got lost along the way. Maybe it is hidden in these moments."

Condolences to all who knew him.

------
bbqchippy
Sometimes people feel shame about their substance use. Sometimes people feel
badly and turn to substances, or use substances gradually and find that they
can't stop. Every one deserves to be fully accepted, loved, and to feel
better. And sometimes it seems impossible to feel that within one's self. I
hope it becomes easier to talk about one's experience with another. A friend,
counselor, family member, a kind stranger. The boxes on internet sites. Even
when one feels only darkness, another person can light a match to illuminate a
tad bit. Small steps, over time, add up to better. It's slow and hard. And
recovery can be like that. But it can be better. Always.

------
Aeolun
It’s starting to seem common. Every time I read some form of ‘successful tech
founder dies young’ it’s almost always related to some form of addiction.

I wonder if that’s just the only thing being reported on, or it’s just the
most likely way for these people to die.

~~~
tibbetts
At that age my doctor said the things that were likely to kill people like me
were motorcycle accidents, extreme sports, and drug addiction. So if your
hobbies are software and photography, that mostly leaves drug addiction.

~~~
smileysteve
Statistically, in the 30s, suicide and drugs (addiction or overdose) are the
top 2. Car accidents is next.

Extreme sports and motorcycle accidents apply to such a smaller percentage of
the population.

------
manav
If you or anyone you know has any issues, I recommend they see a psychiatrist
or some sort of counselor and medical professional before handling their
issues on their own. There is no shame in it. Mental health is as important if
not more important than every other aspect of our physiology, yet it's still
not taken seriously especially in Silicon Valley.

------
sverige
You never know when you're going to die. Realizing that it could be today can
change your perspective on life. Losing your fear of dying will make you
dangerously honest.

------
edilikeseggs44
this is such a sad sad story. I lost my Aunt in 2014 to Alcoholism and a good
friend of mine on October27th 2018, just last year a few months ago. he was
only 48 and my Aunt was only 56 years young. this breaks my heart and his
little girl doesn't have her Dad anymore. He must have had alcohol poisoning
or maybe his heart just stopped. Praying for his family during this sudden
unexpected death.

------
agumonkey
side note: you can have addictive and obsessive behavior non related to
alcohol too. You have peace and happiness inside of you [1]. The twenties seem
like a transitional period full of intense, if not overwhelming, emotions that
can shadow the calm and joy .. only to be replaced by substances or ~hobbies
(gambling, sex, whatever).

best of luck and rip TOT

------
gigatexal
My condolences to his daughter and his mom and those that knew him. This
sucks!

------
RickJWagner
Addiction is a terrible thing.

Never take the first step. It's your best defense.

~~~
willbw
Sure, but I believe over 85% of adults will drink alcohol at some point in
their lives so that is easier said than done.

~~~
wolco
Sadly once you are older it starts to make more sense.

------
blackdogie
Tragic.

------
PastorMatthew
*Resolves

------
joering2
Thoughts and prayers to his family!

------
meesterdude
Anyone know what the addiction was? given kidney involvement i'm leaning
towards alcohol, but don't want to assume. I know it's cliche to say, but
asking for a friend.

A loss for a lot of people, especially his young family.

~~~
jsjohnst
I’m not sure why it matters, but it wasn’t just one thing he struggled with.
Out of respect for him, I’m not going to say more than that.

~~~
meesterdude
fwiw I'm literally asking for a friend. that's why it matters.

~~~
jsjohnst
Every person’s situation is different, so I’m not sure why one person’s
addiction matters for your friend. That was my point in saying that.

That said, ping me privately, my contact info is in my profile. I’ll do what I
can to help.

