
Borderline Personality Disorder: Treatment Resistance Reconsidered - the-enemy
http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/special-reports/borderline-personality-disorder-treatment-resistance-reconsidered
======
phren0logy
I'm a psychiatrist, and I'm heartened to see this show up in the HN top-10.
Lots of people have someone in their life with Borderline PD (or at least
features). It's a serious impairment that sometimes gets vilified or
downplayed as "just a personality disorder." If people could "just stop doing
it," they would.

It can be hard to maintain steady, honest empathy for people with Borderline
PD, but their suffering is very real.

~~~
39387gjk34i
I was diagnosed in college. I went through a few relationships and got
attached like crazy, early. That drove the person away and I'd get
desperate/angry. Rinse, repeat.

Prescribed a drug that made me much more depressed and started cutting. I
stopped taking it, and later met the person who is now my spouse. Early in the
relationship I got fraught that it would end, so I tried to end it
preemptively. That didn't work, thankfully.

It was really a relationship where I could for the first time just be myself
and not "front", so it just felt right. My pysch was not convinced and warned
me, rightly so. But, we moved away from that college, got married, have kids,
and really haven't had any emotional rollercoasters since (over 10 years
later).

But occasionally I have emotional scares/thoughts but they usually subside.
Also, since I'm on a throwaway, when we first had our first child I kept
getting murderous thoughts about how to kill it whenever I got frustrated.
These scared me, and through some introspection, my own aim seemed to be to
get an emotional response from myself. Especially since these thoughts
typically included how I would immediately regret harming my child and how
others would react.

So I feel like it's still there, but my hormones leveled out or something
happened to allow me to manage it.

~~~
spython
From my anecdotal experience, this kind of intrusive thoughts stems from being
afraid of your emotions. Being afraid that anger of frustration overpowers you
and you'd do things that would destroy your life.

It's important to understand that emotions can't 'force' you to do anything.
You fuel your intrusive thoughts by not allowing your frustration to vent in
an appropriate manner. Just sighing and saying 'I am frustrated, oh well' when
you are can help a lot.

Intrusive thoughts are like a mild case of OCD, and with a bit of
psychotherapy the will disappear.

~~~
39387gjk34i
Soon after I moved I also started working out. I've gained about 50 lbs
(mostly muscle), and have much better self-confidence. I would also say that
helped.

My diet has also changed a lot, like another commentator mentioned.

Too many variables!

~~~
spython
Glad that you are doing better! I hope you are also able to unlearn the
thought patterns that are learned during an emotional crisis. "Emotions are
dangerous and I have to control them" is one of them. While these thought
patterns subside when everything is fine they may come back when life goes
into hard mode. There is a great comment in a psychologists AMA on reddit
regarding thought patterns:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4vwsqc/psycholog...](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4vwsqc/psychologists_of_reddit_what_are_some_very_common/d629eh8/?st=jaqvn2fq&sh=b9dc9ede)

------
jacobolus
> Recovery, that is attending work or school and sustaining at least one
> meaningful relationship, occurred for 60% of patients for 2 years, and was
> maintained in 40% over 8 years.

So is that the same 1 'meaningful relationship' for 8 years? Did they try
asking the other person in the relationship whether the patient was in
'remission'?

~~~
adekok
I don't have enough upvotes for this.

Or working with someone who has BPD. They don't get anything done. They play
office politics to a ludicrous degree. They blame everyone else for anything
that happens. _But_ they know who to suck up to, and they know how to make it
look like they're getting work done. So they don't get fired.

Keep a relationship or a job means _nothing_ unless you ask everyone _else_ if
they're getting better. If the answer is "OMFG I'm still walking on eggshells
around that person", then they only progress they've made is to fool the
therapist.

~~~
jsmthrowaway
I’m especially gutted to read stuff like this, having been recently diagnosed
with a moderate to severe case after not understanding my behavior for over
thirty years. Have you ever asked someone with BPD what it’s like to live with
themselves? To cry and drink themselves to sleep because they don’t understand
why they’re like this? How they can’t fathom why they’re completely and
utterly alone when it seems like they’re doing everything right, but going off
the deep end every now and then without any earthly idea why? How they’d much
rather embrace a bullet to the fucking temple than deal with this godawful
sickness and a world full of indifferent people like you for just _one more
day?_ Pray tell, have you ever asked someone what it’s like to feel like _life
itself_ is a prison from which you can’t escape, trapped with a person you
can’t even begin to explain nor relate to?

Didn’t think so.

I get my work done, dude. It’s like no matter how much I try to keep other
people happy, _nobody_ gives a shit and assumes I’m like everyone else they’ve
ever met who claims to have it, and they’re confidently able to predict who I
am based on a label. You sure have the leprosy of BPD figured out; sounds like
I should be playing more office politics, since that’s what I’m supposed to
do, apparently.

A not-insignificant portion of this thread sucks, is just outright depressing,
and suggests to me that there’s little hope for ever successfully loving or
communicating with other people. And you know the worst part? I fall in love
easily because I want absolutely nothing more than to feel that connection
with another human being. Comments like this remind me of the futility that
lies therein. I shouldn’t have read the comments, and I knew better when I
clicked it, but I did it anyway in the vain hope that I would read something
to inspire me to keep pressing forward. How’s _that_ working out, you ask?
Makes me relieved I bought a tall bottle of Goose at the store earlier, thank
you.

Your other, horrible comment comparing BPD to incontinence makes me want to
say something really nasty, emotional, and visceral to you, but I’m strongly
resisting because it would just reinforce your fucked up belief structure
about people who are genuinely suffering on a level that you can’t even
comprehend. Seriously, I’ve clicked Edit and typed some of the meanest things
I’ve ever said several times now, but I also know to resist that overwhelming
urge for both of our sakes. How’s that for your opinion of people like me? Do
I fit your box?

I genuinely hope you find it in yourself to develop empathy for people who
aren’t as advantaged and in control of their lives as you. I’m sorry to rebuke
you so harshly, but Christ.

~~~
adekok
> Your other, horrible comment comparing BPD to incontinence makes me want to
> say something really nasty, emotional, and visceral to you, but I’m strongly
> resisting because it would just reinforce your fucked up belief structure
> about people who are genuinely suffering on a level that you can’t even
> comprehend.

As is typical in borderlines, you missed my point entirely. My comment was
about the impact this disorder has on others. Because of the disorder, your
pain is so large that you _are blind_ to the impact that the disorder has on
others.

That's the problem.

I sympathize with you, I really, really, do. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But
ultimately, it's _your_ disorder, and is _your_ responsibility to fix.

If you want to help yourself, read:

[https://news.ycombinator.com/threads?id=throwaway29845](https://news.ycombinator.com/threads?id=throwaway29845)

Then, take the advice to heart. You will be happier by far.

One problem with the disorder is that the lows are tempered by highs. It's
_exciting_ to be emotionally involved, to think the world of someone, to be on
the "high". And then it crashes, and you feel like shit.

I've read a lot about BPD, and things written by BPD sufferers. Despite the
lows, most are _also addicted to the highs_. And they can't deal with the
underlying disorder until they break the addiction.

As an example:

> I fall in love easily because I want absolutely nothing more than to feel
> that connection with another human being.

That's the emotional high I'm talking about.

You _can_ get away from the lows. But the cost is that the highs are also
mitigated. _This is how most people live_. There are few extremes. Just every
day fumbling through life. Life is this: just living.

> I genuinely hope you find it in yourself to develop empathy for people who
> aren’t as advantaged and in control of their lives as you.

That is another typical BPD comment. You know nothing about my pain, my
experience, or my journey. But because _you 're_ in pain, then _my_ life must
be wonderful.

Stop splitting. Decide to just _live_. Decide to not inflict pain or suffering
on others. Work on the addiction to the highs.

If you want to talk more, email me. My email address is in my profile.

~~~
jsmthrowaway
See? Got me figured out from a label.

I didn’t miss your point. The part that made that comment horrible is “you’re
not allowed to come over until you stop peeing on my couch,” like human beings
with a regrettable, painful, mortifyingly embarrassing condition are untrained
dogs to you. Like it’s something they can just stop. That’s what you said:
figure it out, then I’ll let you sit on my couch. I considered the possibility
that I misinterpreted you here, then noticed that I wasn’t the only one, if
so.

Then you did the exact same thing here, too. “Stop splitting.” “Decide to stop
hurting people.” “Just flick off this light switch that’s taken years of
therapy to even understand, buddy! Just live! Just be!” Okay, Julia. You’re
talking about serious, life changing journeys that require a lot of help and
support along the way, and paying them the same respect as taking the car
through the wash.

I’m not blind to my impact on other people. As is typical in armchair
psychologists, you missed the entire part of my comment where I talk about how
_intensely_ aware I am of my impact on others. That’s this entire comment:
_oh, he has this condition, let me ignore everything he said and talk to him
with my years of psychological training. Maybe that will get through._

I’m not splitting with you and acknowledge that I know nothing about your pain
or journey. I know only what you’ve chosen to share in commentary here, and
brother, it’s enough of a display of malempathy to make me conclude that your
opinion matters very little to me. I didn’t even need my disorder to make that
determination. The follow up didn’t do a lot to help.

~~~
superbrama
Who is Julia? Just curious. Thanks for sharing your perspective and following
up with the other poster in detail.

~~~
jsmthrowaway
For some reason, “decide to just live” made me think of _Eat Pray Love_.
Mental reference I don’t fully understand either, don’t worry.

~~~
owebmaster
As a BDP self-diagnosed here in the post, I fully understand why you did this.
I also did it in the past without knowing why but today I got some reflection
about it, mainly with this topic and your reluctancing in understand that the
way your argument is severely biased because of this condition we share.

~~~
Fnoord
Please don't self diagnose. Not much good comes out of it, as you can't act
upon it with treatment such as therapy or medication. Please see a
professional instead.

------
philwelch
(Disclaimer: not a mental health professional, but someone with personal
experience in this matter)

BPD is one of the cases where our current approach to mental health falls
short in a way. We only consider someone mentally ill if their mental
dysfunction impairs their life. If someone’s mental dysfunction only ruins the
lives of the people around them, that’s not technically a mental illness.

Borderline is a perfect example of this. It’s true that a borderline will
compulsively sabotage their own relationships, as well as any other
relationships surrounding them (borderlines are great at turning third parties
against each other and are savants of “Lets You And Him Fight”), but if they
manage to find the right enablers, or jump from relationship to relationship
fast enough, they can manage to avoid suffering too much from their
dysfunction while leaving a trail of damage in their wake.

That’s why borderline is so fundamentally hard to treat. It’s so easy for some
borderlines to develop the coping mechanisms to evade the consequences of
their actions that they’re not affected, and “fundamentally caring about
someone other than yourself” doesn’t seem to come naturally to a borderline.

~~~
ShabbosGoy
> That’s why borderline is so fundamentally hard to treat. It’s so easy for
> some borderlines to develop the coping mechanisms to evade the consequences
> of their actions that they’re not affected, and “fundamentally caring about
> someone other than yourself” doesn’t seem to come naturally to a borderline.

I wonder how helpful psychedelics would be in treating the narcissistic aspect
of BPD. Revelatory experiences (coming into contact with the Great Other) and
ego death might reset the dysfunction of one’s personality. Or at least give
that person greater perspective and insight into their condition.

~~~
philwelch
I wish research into psychedelics wasn’t as stigmatized so we could find these
things out. There’s always going to be the problem of someone wanting to be
treated before you can treat them though, which makes any narcissistic issues
hard to deal with.

------
jaredhansen
If people get one thing and only one from this thread, it should be this: the
vast majority of popular work on BPD (e.g., _Stop Walking on Eggshells_ ,
mentioned below, and _" I hate you, don't leave me"_, etc.) is based on
research that is _decades_ out of date and substantially obsolete. If you want
to learn about BPD, start with the research on Dialectical Behavior Therapy
[0] and grow from there.

Before you write off BPD people or assume you know how this disorder works or
what the prognosis is, take the time to read up on more recent work in this
field. BPD is one of the least-understood diagnoses in the DSM, and most
people who write about it appear completely unaware of the last ~30 years of
research on this disorder.

[0]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy)

~~~
phkahler
>> BPD is one of the least-understood diagnoses in the DSM

That's funny because from what I've read, DBT is the only proven treatment for
any of the personality disorders and it's used for BPD. My reading suggests
that SPD is the least understood, and probably the most common among HN
readers (that part is speculation on my part).

~~~
agency
according to the wiki page on SPD[1], it is not currently recognized in the
DSM

[1]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_disorder](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_disorder)

~~~
leadingthenet
I think he means this:

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder)

~~~
SimbaOnSteroids
The first one has a correlation with ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders. Both
of which I'd imagine are fairly common among HN readers.

------
dec0dedab0de
If you have someone in your life with BPD or NPD you should do whatever you
can to distance yourself from them, or cut them out entirely. As much as I
feel bad for them, there is nothing you'll be able to do to help them without
sacrificing yourself in the process.

~~~
jmcgough
I think it depends entirely on whether they're willing to work on it, and how
they act when they're in a bad state.

I have a partner with BPD, and she's put a lot of effort into getting better
(and I've seen real progress), and at her worst she's never really acted
maliciously or cruel. Still, way more extreme highs and lows than any other
relationship I've been in, and I've stopped seeing them as much just because
it's so exhausting.

~~~
kross
I applaud your effort, and I don't want this to be hurtful, but borderlines
are chameleons, and I want you to guard against false hope. Good luck, but I'm
afraid it is a battle that cannot be won (at this time).

~~~
tc313
There's a wide spectrum of severity when it comes to personality disorders;
just because one person with BPD is beyond help doesn't mean others are unable
to lead reasonably normal lives with the disorder.

~~~
kross
Perhaps, but uncertainty plagues all those in the borderline's sphere of
influence, and more likely than not, it's a save yourself situation. If you
are realistically willing to give your life for this BPD, then by all means
stick it out and good luck to you. But don't presume it is any more hopeful
than highly unlikely of even leading a troubled relationship. Most likely a
relationship full of anguish - probability speaking.

------
kross
I'm a child of a borderline with narcissistic tendencies. I had PTSD until the
age of 38, then underwent EMDR therapy that changed my life. I can now live a
full life, and I accept there is absolutely no reason for my mother to ever be
included in my life again.

I praise anyone's attempt to help a BPD, but I hold no hope for a solution.

Some referred to "Stop walking on eggshells" as outdated, but I found it a
revelation that significantly helped in my understanding and recovery.

~~~
emmelaich
(wikipedia) Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a form of
psychotherapy developed by Francine Shapiro which uses eye movements or other
forms of bilateral stimulation to purportedly assist clients in processing
distressing memories and beliefs.

boop beep

~~~
kross
The closest thing to a magic wand I've ever seen seen or heard of. Living with
trauma for 38 years only to have it wiped away in 5 50 minute sessions.
Amazing! I then spent 3 years in psychotherapy learning to be a person
(literally a child in an adult's body), but it was life saving. Profound.

------
pmichaud
For those who didn't read it:

The headline may seem to be saying "BPD is now more treatable than before,"
but that is not what this is.

The tldr; is actually more like "framing BPD patients as resistant to
treatment is wrong. The correct framing is that we don't have adequate
treatments for the disorder."

------
owebmaster
I've read all comments here and about BPD. Most of them just confirm that
people with the disease (which I could be included) should feel untrusted
because the "only" solution proposed is to avoid them. Therefore, they are
right and have no mental disease. It is self defense to avoid people that
don't give you the value you give yourself. So it is more a problem of self-
expectation/delusion or the people around you. Both have fixes.

------
superbrama
Reading this thread is very disheartening. BPD symptoms are so common, and
probably possible to see from afar, for instance the lone wolf who got picked
on in school probably has better than average chance of eventually developing
such symptoms.

------
throwaway29845
I have (or had) borderline personality disorder.

I didn't realize that there was anything really wrong with me until the end of
2014. I had destroyed yet another relationship in a spectacular, irrevocable
fashion. The pain was unbearable. And familiar.

I isolated myself for the next two years.

My childhood was chaotic. My father was an alcoholic. My mother booted him out
by age two, but he remained a volatile and destructive force in my life until
he dropped contact with me after my fifteenth birthday.

I had step-parents and step-siblings on both sides. People came and went. I
had siblings and then I didn't. I learned that relationships are unreliable.

I was verbally abused by one of my mother's men. He was a violent man. He
broke down doors, shook his children, and screamed a lot. I still remember how
his eyes bulged when he was angry, which seemed to be always.

I remember how he would go out of his way in the mornings to drop his kids off
at school first, even though we passed by my school on the way, just so that
he could scream at me in private. Everything was my fault. Always.

At age eleven, I accompanied my mother to the police station because she'd
just shot my father's deranged girlfriend, who'd followed my father to our
house in the middle of the night threatening to kill us. I remember how she
cried. I remember writing my deposition.

The girlfriends survived but was later murdered by someone else. She had two
kids. I never saw them again. I had originally thought she was a cool person.

I didn't realize any of this was abnormal or damaging. I was a child. By the
time I entered adolescence and began discovering that I was gay -- in a small,
rural, Christian-dominated Texas down -- I had a total breakdown. I developed
symptoms of panic disorder, OCD, hypochondriasis, paranoid thinking, and
depression.

My mom took me to a psychiatrist, and he didn't know what to do with me.
Mostly because he didn't know any of this. I was a weird kid. I talked to him
about the origins of the universe because I was entering my philosophical
phase. They put me on Paxil. It turned me into a zombie.

I started drinking in my early twenties. At first it wasn't much, but it grew
and grew. I got to the point where I was no longer in control. After the
calamitous end of my five year relationship (one that because of me, had grown
incredibly toxic) I downed half a bottle of vodka and chased it with some
clonazepam. I texted my ex and he, alarmed, summoned the paramedics. I was
involuntarily confined for three days.

I destroyed many relationships and hurt a lot of people.

It took a lot of pain to make me wake up.

I stopped drinking. That was extremely difficult. I'm six months sober now. I
go to therapy weekly. My relationships are stable (if few in number) and I no
longer experience dramatic swings in emotion. Well. I still have days where I
think about shooting myself in the head, but it's so mild compared to what it
used to be. I can handle that, easily.

I still feel like my identity is a construct. I'm staggeringly insightful
about people; I can read them very thoroughly and very quickly. I am subtly
manipulative by default. It's not something I can turn on or off.

But I decided to do no harm. I started thinking about it as a sort of
superpower I have, one that must be used with great care and responsibility.

People with BPD are often extremely empathic. That is not the same thing as
having empathy. Being able to assess another person's emotions and state of
mind is the raw instrument; deciding what to do with that information is what
defines empathy (or lack thereof).

Mindfulness and meditation have been helpful to me. So has regular exercise,
therapy, and a very great deal of introspection.

I still have doubts about my ability to form meaningful relationships. I am
very lonely. All the time. I worry that I will go through decades like this.

But at least I'm not causing a lot of pain and turmoil all around me.

People with BPD can change. But it takes work. And you have to acknowledge and
face the pain you've caused, which can result in unbearable guilt.

And you have to learn how to be alone.

~~~
jansho
> I started thinking about it as a sort of superpower I have, one that must be
> used with great care and responsibility.

Bingo. Well done you. I’ve struggled with mental/emotional problems all my
life, thought that I was cursed even, and accepting that I’ll never be cured
[1] is the game-changer. For readers: it forces you to think how you can
>>manage<< them better, and how it can actually be >>useful<<. This can be
hard at first, and will continue to be a lifelong struggle, so patience, lots
of them. Eventually you’ll be able to pinpoint your ‘problems’ and their
triggers, and build up the discipline to adapt via lifestyle change. You’ll
also begin to understand how these can be turned into, well, ‘superpowers’
when you’re in a calmer state of mind. Like the ability to empathise is
frequently overlooked when it’s actually very powerful. (But please, don’t
start looking to _be_ powerful, for sure this will cause grief sooner or
later!)

Solitude imo is not necessarily a bad thing, it encourages more introspection
and independence once you train yourself to embrace it. As long as you balance
it with the right amount of positive socialising of course.

[1] If you feel _severely_ affected, PLEASE sought out professional help. Or
at the very least, people who you can trust to be kind

------
gsaga
I know something's wrong with me, and I need to be treated, but what could be
a better that killing myself. It looks like this is the only thing that will
work.
[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wp3yreeTUmU](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wp3yreeTUmU)

~~~
dsego
First take a psychological evaluation, that will tell you what the problem is.

------
brookside
I can't read beyond the first page, so I am curious what is the treatment for
a personality disorder.

~~~
jaredhansen
Different ones are treated differently. For BPD, at this point the pretty
well-recognized standard is called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) [1].

[1]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy)

------
Danihan
In my opinion BPD is a combination of [false beliefs / a false worldview,]
usually created by toxic (or abusive) imprinting during formative years, along
with higher-than-average emotionalism (which is probably genetic).

I'm not surprised that it's treatable in most cases, assuming it's not TBI
related. False beliefs gradually go away; rough edges in character are
gradually worn down with life experience and maturity.

Poor imprinting is difficult to overcome, I think certain tenancies always
remain, but one can learn to direct emotional energy in better / more
productive / less destructive ways.

~~~
mjburgess
Though your comment is downvoted, it is broad terms quite correct.

There is strong evidence of a genetic component to BPD. It is a personality
disorder and therefore a result of (abusive) training in childhood. And it is
possible to learn to improve one's emotional instability.

I do have the sense that you're simplifying the issue in away that disguises
the more complex reality of BPD. I do not recall the genetic factors
pertaining to emotion. A failure to regulation one's emotions is partly
connected to a general impulsivity which arises in a traumatic environment
where you are always on high-alert.

NB.

It's always interesting what gets down-voted on hacker news. The police will
chastise commentators who are too emotive in their phrasing but not the
downvotes who most actively prevent open discussion.

------
hie6Rofogo
[Throwaway account, for obvious reasons.]

I'm pretty sure my wife has BPD. To me, it seems hopeless for her to get
treated. I haven't brought it up with her, I expect that would go poorly. One
of the main symptoms is that she feels attacked by people even when they are
making innocent comments on things. It is not just me who as noticed that. I
have discretely brought it up with some others who know her and they have
confirmed it. She has cut ties to her family as they are "toxic people".

Based on my readings, I understood that most psychiatrists think treatment is
unlikely to work. If there is hope, that would be amazing. It is a difficult
condition to live with, both for her and people who know her.

~~~
philwelch
As someone who had a close personal relationship with a borderline for years:
_get out_. A divorce will be nasty, particularly with a borderline, but a
lifetime spent with such a person will not be a happy one.

With any kind of mental health, the person “suffering” from it has to be the
one who wants treatment, and with BPD, most of the suffering ends up
outsourced to others, which eliminates that motivation.

I know this is hard to hear, but part of BPD is an inability to form healthy
relationships. The flip side is that it takes two people to maintain an
unhealthy relationship. You’re not helping her by staying in this marriage; at
best, you’re enabling her and at worst, you’re suffering from her mental
illness at least as much as she is.

~~~
jaredhansen
This advice is pernicious and self-serving bullshit.

You don't know the poster or his/her wife.

You don't know the wife.

You don't have anywhere near enough information (unless you think a BPD
diagnosis or suspected diagnosis is in itself sufficient information, in which
case you're contradicted by a very well established line of research going
back a number of decades; see links I've posted elsewhere in this thread) to
assess the poster's wife's mental state or likelihood of recovery.

Your comment completely misunderstands how BPD works and completely
misrepresents the likelihood of recovery. I understand that you may need to
prove to yourself that you made the right call by cutting off someone with
this disorder in the past, and maybe you did -- but that isn't epistemic
justification for the very conclusory advice you're offering the poster.

~~~
kross
This sounds like splitting, exactly what a BPD would say. I am suspicious.

~~~
solresident
Splitting is also common among individuals who have upset personality
disorder. Such a horrible disease; I can only hope we once live in a world
where upset personality disorder is identifiable and treatable.

~~~
Fnoord
Upset personality disorder?

~~~
owebmaster
I guess it was a joke that splitting is a common human behavior and should not
be qualified as a disease because someone overuses it.

------
superbrama
This thread helps confirm my long term desire to self terminate. I didn’t have
much insight into how a bpd looks from both sides but it’s clear to me that
having a psychiatric disorder can put someone in a whole different universe
from others despite appearances.

If someone believes others are out to get them, if they’re sensitive, or
whatever behaviors they manifest, who is anyone to say what they feel is right
or wrong? Their behaviors may not fit in with society at large, but nobody can
speak to their perceptions.

The world is complicated now and people on average have a more intricate
social universe than ever before. I’m sad to say that I couldn’t find my place
in human society. Seeing where I am at personally relative to what I’ve
learned from this thread is very painful.

Wishing for the best for everyone here. Nobody should have to suffer and it’s
commendable that so many fight the good fight. Be well.

~~~
tomhoward
Please don't, it's absolutely possible to turn things around and live a
wonderful and happy life. I can tell you this from personal experience.

I've spent the past few years searching for ways of overcoming emotional and
personality disorders in myself. Looking back, it's pretty clear that there
were significant symptoms of narcissistic/borderline/histrionic personality
disorders, that had devastating effects on my relationships and my career.

I've worked on myself daily for the past few years to understand and overcome
these traits. In the past 1-2 years I've come out of the tunnel and am now
living a very different life, with a thriving career, a wonderful home,
dramatically improving relationships with my friends and family, a great
relationship with a wonderful, caring partner, and every reason to be
optimistic about the future.

Just 3 years ago I was like you, thinking it was all futile and questioning
whether it was worthwhile to carry on.

Please get in touch. It's hard to find good advice and support but I think my
experiences and learnings could be valuable to you.

My email address in my profile.

Please, you are valued and loved, and there is hope.

------
vonnik
Another Freudian shibboleth called into question.

------
alexibm
If someone wants to see what Borderline is like, read this
[https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/7gyl8d...](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/7gyl8d/cheating_gf_used_pregnancy_to_make_me_stay_prob/)
Some poor soul posted this today.

