
How do you find your passion? Am I off course? - rootsudo
I&#x27;m in the deepest, darkest part of my life.<p>I&#x27;m not overly depressed. But sad because I don&#x27;t know what I want. Directionless<p>I&#x27;ve been making income by crypto daytrading&#x2F;localbitcoin. It&#x27;s been great, not the most income but $2000-3000 a month. I do stake about $25,000. Some days I lose money, some days I get locked in a trade, some days I make $300 some days I make $500-4000. The past few days have been fantastic and reading about strategies, risk management and risk aversion have been rewarding.<p>The idea of a traditional job isn&#x27;t fun, but that sounds pretentious of me, doesn&#x27;t it?<p>I&#x27;ve put out resumes, got interviews, got job offers ranging from $40-50&#x2F;hr and I balked at signing. I even had a recruiter berate me over the phone for being the perfect candidate and taking away his December bonus because I declined. It was $50&#x2F;hr, the biggest offer I ever received and I declined it.<p>I question it now. The money would&#x27;ve been nice, but to dress up business formal and be a half assed sysadmin just doesn&#x27;t seem as fun as it once used to be.<p>I was a contractor at Microsoft and it burned me out, it really did. Maybe it was the lack of respect from everyone, doing soul-less work or being constantly compared to cheaper labor in India and Philippines. Ironically, thanks to that role I took some time in Philippines and loved it. It made me realize it was really a toxic role. I do miss the prestige, but in the end I was just a V- and I hated my managers. Looking back, I realize they were probably under more pressure than me. It was a rewarding experience, but not fully positive.<p>I miss traveling and roaming in SE Asia. I haven&#x27;t&#x27; done Vietnam, Indonesia nor Cambodia yet.<p>I haven&#x27;t exercised and made my body perfect.<p>I haven&#x27;t finished my 4yr degree.<p>I&#x27;m horrible at time management.<p>I have ideas, I get energy and then in the end it fizzles out.<p>How do you find true passion? Are these are signs of depression?<p>Age: 26.
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alexkavon
If you are worried that you are experiencing depression, you should see a
doctor/psychiatrist and get a professional opinion at the very least.

It depends on where you work for burn out. It can happen again, but it would
seem that now you're experienced you would probably notice some signs that you
are. I would try to get a gig somewhere that can be a bit more relaxed.
Contracting work can lead to burn out quite typically, but a good day to day
job won't always.

I've experienced burn out after several attempts at personal projects where I
needed a team, found one and they didn't pull their weight, or I didn't find a
team and tried to do it all myself. It goes away in due time and sometimes the
scariest thing is returning to work after burn out (gun shy).

My best advice is that you're 26 and in a great place to earn money cause
you're young. I wouldn't dive deep into crypto-currency. I'd say take a look
at what you want your passion to be and head that direction. The only way you
can move forward is by trying something and seeing if it really is you, it's
okay if it isn't there is a whole world of opportunity and possibilities out
there.

You mentioned you miss traveling. Have you thought about studying abroad?

As far as time management goes, it is hard. If it was easy to manage time and
get things done, the world would be a much more perfect place. A lot of things
are hard and you will feel as if you have less time growing up. So you'll need
to start forcing yourself into better habits. There is no secret sauce, only
your persistence.

All I can say is that it sounds like you may need to answer some questions for
yourself. If you are close to finishing your 4 year degree, it may not be a
terrible idea to see that through. That university degree is a good thing if
the economy goes to shit.

------
totalZero

      The idea of a traditional job isn't fun,
      but that sounds pretentious of me,
      doesn't it?
    

The only part that sounds bad, is that you (counterproductively) feel some
insidious kind of shame for casting off the shackles of traditional work. In
reality, it often sucks to work for the man even if you're making millions a
year.

Maybe there's more to life than marching in a straight line.

Fuck your recruiter. His job is to connect BOTH ends of the deal, not just to
satisfy the hiring party. It's not your fault that he couldn't sell you on a
job.

Go travel for a bit; your career will not magically disappear during a
vacation, even for several months.

And check out this poem, _Desiderata_ by Max Ehrmann:

 _Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may
be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with
all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull
and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive
persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with
others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and
lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own
career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of
time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for
high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about
love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as
the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the
things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not
distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and
loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a
child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right
to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as
it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep
peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still
a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy._

------
eesmith
Passion is overrated. No, worse than that. All that advice about "finding your
passion", etc. for work, is corrosive.

Oh, yes, there are people who love X, make a career out of it, and continue
doing X for the rest of their life and are successful.

While there are people who love X, trying to make a living doing X, only to
find it's not a viable career. Only, their "passion" makes them continue to do
X far longer than they should, causing them to burn out.

There are all sorts of fields where the number of passionate people are far
greater than the number of available jobs. Look at people who are passionate
about dance, or sports, or horses, or art. Only a few of them can make a
living from it. Yet everyone successful had to be passionate about it.

Now, get this. There are also people who start doing Y because a job is
available, and find that, after a while, they enjoy doing Y. Some even find
they are passionate about the job. Others use the money from Y so they can do
what they are really passionate about as a hobby.

(And sometimes that hobby can, over time, become a career. I knew someone who
was a manager of the grounds crew for the local cemetery, and a hobbyist
woodworker. There was enough demand for he work that he now makes custom
furniture for a living.)

The worst case in this scenario is to find that they really don't like Y, but
nothing says you have to do Y for the rest of your life, and at least you have
the money saved up to support you while you switch jobs. Otherwise, a lot of
people do X for a living, and let the income fund their passion as a hobby.

(For another example, my dentist decided to stop his practice and be a
musician. I think it was a mid-life crisis, but at least he had the money
saved up for it.)

Here's another thing - most jobs aren't fun. Most jobs are boring. For that
matter, David Graeber argues that most jobs are bullshit, that is (quoting
[https://www.strikemag.org/bullshit-jobs](https://www.strikemag.org/bullshit-
jobs) ):

> The answer clearly isn't economic: it's moral and political. The ruling
> class has figured out that a happy and productive population with free time
> on their hands is a mortal danger (think of what started to happen when this
> even began to be approximated in the '60s). And, on the other hand, the
> feeling that work is a moral value in itself, and that anyone not willing to
> submit themselves to some kind of intense work discipline for most of their
> waking hours deserves nothing, is extraordinarily convenient for them.

One way to interpret the general call for "passion" in your job is that
reinforces the cultural norm "to submit themselves to some kind of intense
work discipline".

As for your specific situation, not all work environments are like Microsoft.
There are companies which are more supportive of their employees. One friend
of mine, with a mostly system adminstration job, worked for several
programming-centered companies for a while, but it wasn't until he worked for
a company doing light industrial work where he really enjoyed himself in his
job. He liked that they were making actual things, rather than bits, and the
owner/boss also did a great job of looking out for the employees.

If you're currently making $3000/month = $36K/year, then that doesn't give you
time for the one thing you said that you are passionate about - international
travel. While $50/hour is $100K/year. That's much more than is needed to
support a travel hobby.

You might consider looking at how much vacation time you have for a given
company, or negotiate for more unpaid time off instead of salary.

Or, since your in your 20s, it's pretty common to change jobs. Some people
will work for a company for a year or two, then take 3 months off for travel,
then work again.

Ignore what a recruiter thinks. Making you happy is far down the list of what
they are supposed to be doing.

And drop this idea that you need to make your body "perfect." That's another
corrosive attitude. Your body will never be perfect, making it all to easy to
give up before doing what you should be doing, which is to get some exercise
every day. It could be walking, dancing, going to the gym, cycling, swimming,
martial arts ... something that gets you moving.

(Edit: To be clear, "exercise" doesn't have to mean a gym membership or
something formal. At your age I mostly bicycled for local errands, like
shopping. It helped that I was still in a college town. Later I walked my
partner's dog for 30-45 minutes. Later I started salsa dancing, and go to the
point where I was dancing 4-5 times per week. (A passion, perhaps, but not a
good career choice.) Now I walk, and swim 30 minutes twice weekly. :)

