
Ask HN: What to do when you feel “developer loneliness”? - martin_a
Strange title, I know, let me explain...<p>I am doing software project management and development in a small media company with about 15 people. My job is good and I like my work, but sometimes I feel kind of &quot;lonely&quot; in that sense, that I have nobody to talk about technical&#x2F;work problems.<p>I have two colleagues in my team, but they aren´t developers at all (one now gets to know his ways around CSS) and so I have nobody to get ideas or input from when I face problems or need some kind of &quot;technical inspiration&quot; on how to tackle a problem. On the other hand, when clients send their devs for meetings or trainings, the atmosphere is much better for me, because they often are on a similar level...<p>Now, getting a second developer would probably be the solution for this loneliness, but the financial situation does not allow this right now and it&#x27;s unclear for how much longer...<p>This gets me frustrated from time to time, so I thought I might ask over here, as some of you might be working for small companies and have similar &quot;feelings&quot; or problems.<p>What are your ideas or solutions on this? How do you handle that feeling? Local dev meetings? StackOverflow sleepovers?!?<p>edit: Let me add: While this may sound not really serious, it´s actually kind of a big deal for me as I am getting more and more frustrated by having nobody to get at least a little valuable feedback from. My colleagues are just like &quot;Well, I don&#x27;t know that kind of stuff, you are the pro here, find a solution and tell us...&quot; Trying to engage them to think about problems like these has not worked yet... :-(
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johntdaly
1) Go to meetups. 2) Go to conferences. I’ve found a good conference
revitalizes me on many levels, when I start feeling l don’t want to do this
anymore, when I am in a rut. I find a good conference makes me love my job
again. 3) Find a friend to chat with about problems you have. But watch out.
It is very easy to just bitch about how things suck at work. You might need
that from time to time but doing that all the time will just frustrate you
more. 4) Find an online forum and participate there but don’t overdo it.
Forums are full of a lot of young programmers or wannabes that can be more
frustrating than refreshing. 5) DON’T work overtime when you are frustrated,
you don’t want to burn out. I’ve seen programmers that burned out. That’s not
a pretty picture.

You can also talk to your coworkers about some of your problems. Try to dumb
it down or find somebody who can understand some of the more technical
problems. Being able to explain something often is enough. Some people talk to
themselves or a puppet or a rubber duck. That never helped me, I need a
person. What you will find once you have another programmer around is that
THAT might not help. We have different specializations and personalities. Not
all of us are good for talking through problems. Similarly, not all none
programmers are shit for talking through problems.

Other than that, I can only recommend a hobby that has nothing to do with
programming or technology. Something you can more easily find other people to
talk about. Having another go to THING might help you compensate for not being
able to talk as much about programming issues as you would like to.

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martin_a
Thank you very much for your answer.

I already burned out one year ago and it was no fun at all. I don't wish this
for my worst enemies and so I'm trying to be careful about not doing old
mistakes again.

And I think not being able to talk about what stressed/frustrated me from a
work side was maybe one of the parts that led to my depressions last year.

