
Ask HN: How do you set a goal and stay focused? - ipiz0618
How to stay focused is a recurring topic on HN. But my problem is more of how to set goals.<p>While I don&#x27;t expect a definite answer that fits everyone, I&#x27;m interested in how others set their goals and believing in them without being distracted &#x2F; giving up midway.<p>Goals can be side projects, startup ideas, hobbies etc. I tend to be tempted to try many different sorts of things at the same time outside work, and ultimately achieve very little.
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afarrell
Start with Why.

If you have some idea for a goal, you should write down the reason you want
it.

Frameworks that are useful for product management and communication are useful
for personal-product management and communication-to-yourself:

\- [https://www.intercom.com/resources/books/intercom-jobs-to-
be...](https://www.intercom.com/resources/books/intercom-jobs-to-be-done)

\- [https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-
inventory](https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory)

It is also often helpful to write down your worries and fears. Putting worries
into words gives you power over them and helps you realize that you can build
something overcome them. Fear-setting is one of the psychological benefits of
Test Driven Development.

Note that holding thoughts about your motivations and worries in your working
memory can be highly psychologically uncomfortable. Your impulse in response
to this discomfort might be to get on reddit. For this reason, you might want
to do this thinking by taking a paper notebook to the park or by talking with
a friend you trust.

The result of this will be that when you re-examine your goal, you can see if
you still think it aligns with your "why".

~~~
ipiz0618
Writing down worries and fears is new to me. Will definitely try that out.
Thanks!

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stevewodil
Your goal could be to lose weight. That's great but it's not actionable. An
actionable goal is "go to the gym for 30 min today before lunch to run on the
treadmill." So set that easy and actionable goal and go do it.

What works for me is focusing on at most two or three things at a time.
Anything more than that becomes too difficult to keep up. Right now for me
those are fitness, working on my startup idea, and reading.

As an example, for fitness I use the two day rule. If I didn't workout
yesterday I have to work out today. If I worked out today then I can choose to
workout tomorrow, or not. I never go two days in a row without working out. I
also workout first thing in the morning so that it's not hanging over my head
all day.

It's mostly about scheduling things that you want to do into your day and
actually doing them. Give yourself days off if you need them, and plan things
out ahead of time.

~~~
deepaksurti
This is excellent advise and goes into the `Goals vs Systems` territory. A
good sensible and enjoyable read for the same would be Chapter 5 'Goals vs
Systems` from [1].

From personal experience, opting for the systems approach has helped me:

\- Focus on multiple activities (max 4) with time bucketing and ensuring the
time bucket has a task that can be done, like the actionable gym example above

\- You are not worried about reaching the goal, instead you consistently put
in the effort and don't feel the void when and if any goal is completed

\- Systems help a ton in tackling complex or difficult subjects.

YMMV and mind you, earlier I was goal focussed and IMHO, got lesser done.

[1] [https://www.amazon.com/How-Fail-Almost-Everything-Still-
eboo...](https://www.amazon.com/How-Fail-Almost-Everything-Still-
ebook/dp/B00COOFBA4)

edit: added the ref [1]

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lxdesk
1\. Do not set a goal that involves conquering the world, saving the world, or
attaining personal glory. These goals have internal contradictions that will
lead you away from doing good work.

2\. Find a theme and follow the theme to set the goal. This can come from your
personal philosophy and inclinations, from something you observe in nature, or
by remixing an existing idea.

3\. To help find the theme, keep a diary and try to build up a personal
library of references. (Do not try to hoard data. Do tight curation.)

~~~
Hoenoe
> 1\. Do not set a goal that involves conquering the world, saving the world,
> or attaining personal glory. These goals have internal contradictions that
> will lead you away from doing good work.

Can you maybe elaborate on this a bit more? Just curious.

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TrinaryWorksToo
As intelligent beings, we have two types of goals: Terminal Values/goals,
which are things that we want to achieve for intrinsic purposes, and
Instrumental values/goals, which are the signposts we use as we navigate
towards our big goal.
[https://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Terminal_value](https://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Terminal_value)

Figuring out which type your goal is will help you immensely. If it is an
instrumental goal, then figuring out how it aligns with your terminal goal
will give you the motivation to do it at any cost.

If it's a terminal goal, your brain will drive you to get there at any cost,
automatically. You may feel overwhelmed, especially since terminal goals can
be abstract, so you might try using other people's instrumental goals, and
brainstorming your own, and seeing how they fit into your strategy towards
achieving your terminal goals. It's particularly helpful if someone has
already achieved an instrumental goal, as they can share that information with
you so you don't have to figure it out as you piece your path towards your
terminal goals.

~~~
ismail
I am not familiar with this terminology but it sound awfully like “means” and
“ends” which I believe goes all the way back to Aristotle.

~~~
TrinaryWorksToo
Yeah, they're probably the same concept!

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k00b
Try different goals until you find a goal you don't want to stop working on.

Goal setting/discovery is a skill. You need to work on it like everything
else.

The reasoning will sound tautological but it's true: If your problem is
finding a goal you'll stick to, your goal should be to look for a goal you'll
stick to.

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chrisbennet
I don't have drive/willpower/dedication whatever. I'm somewhat lazy. I am
honest with myself so I know not to set unrealistic goals that would require
studying or applying myself to a task. I do reach my goals though.

How?

I come up with a project that teaches me what I need to know. It "pulls me in"
and makes learning the stuff I need to know fun. I call it "pull" vs "push".
Another way to think of it is: Would you rather push yourself to hit the books
to learn French or live in France for a few months and pick it up? (You'd have
to study for both but the 2nd way would be more fun and effective.)

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softwaredoug
I don’t think anything real gets done without making a commitment others need
to depend on. Hence with some downside consequences for you! But such
consequences can be calibrated...

A common example is committing to speak at a meetup on my side project. It
gives me a deadline to focus and get organized around, but frankly is pretty
mistake friendly.

Another strategy is collaborating with a potential client on an idea. It’s
like having a customer to go to market with. And not following through is not
good for me (though still understood as a new/trial idea with the customer)

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davidajackson
One thing you can do to push yourself a bit is give your friends/family a
heads up that you're building something. That can give you some extra
motivation to keep going and not give up.

~~~
ipiz0618
Agreed that the "pressure" from ones that actually care about what you do is a
major driver.

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pryelluw
Do you really achieve very little? Or do you simply achieve less than you
wanted?

Two very different things.

Maybe its a matter of setting lower expectations (smaller goals). You can add
smaller goals once one is completed. After all, a centipede does not move all
of its legs at once.

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s_r_n
Something that's helped me recently is trying out giving up on all my goals
one at a time. There was one goal that I really started to miss working on
once I gave it up, and that's how I knew I wanted to keep working on that
goal. This exercise helped me establish my priorities.

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togusa2017
Two things that helped me \- Setting realistic goal. Implying Decide 5 things
and then trimming them to top 3. Do everyday a little of each 3. \- Deadlift.
I know there is no co-relation but it helps me keep a clear mind and get more
focused on other aspect of life and goals.

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karmakaze
Rectntly I replied to what's your quarantine project a domain name I
registered for when I get around to playing with it. That prompted me to
follow through enough to make a prototype. Now I'm adding some sort of wiki-
like editing expanding on the original goal.

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pruthvishetty
This was useful -
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfdJS_8M8bY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfdJS_8M8bY)

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hoorayimhelping
By and large, most people set unrealistic goals, or set goals that are too
large to accomplish without setting smaller goals. They forget the
psychological aspects of setting and reaching goals and set goals that are
unattainable, then feel bad about themselves for not achieving the impossible
goal they've set for themselves.

Most people want to lose weight and look sexy. So they set a goal of losing
weight and looking sexy and leave it at that. But "lose weight and look sexy"
isn't a very achievable goal - how do you know when you've lost enough weight
and look sexy enough? Setting a goal of "losing 10 pounds in 2 months" is much
more achievable and measurable. It accomplishes the goal of losing weight and
looking sexier, and it's measurable.

Most importantly it's realistic. Most people actually want to lose 40 pounds,
but it's too big of a task to take on reasonably. Instead of losing all 40
pounds, prove to yourself that you can lose 10 pounds. Figure out how to do it
at a smaller scale and gain the confidence in yourself to meet your goals.

But it's still too big for most people. It needs to be broken down into 8 sub
goals of: Lose 2 pounds of weight this week. How do you do that? eat 200
calories of food less per day. Exercise with weights 3 times a week. Weigh
yourself at the same time every morning and track the measurements week over
week.

The first week that you lose 2 pounds feels pretty okay. The second week feels
better. The third week starts to feel like you're on to something, and by week
four, you've realized that you have a system to meet your goals and all you
need to do is follow it.

So the main takeaway is: make your goals more achievable, and design them in a
way that attaining them gives you confidence and that confidence compounds as
you do more. Then the goal becomes a self sustaining reaction.

tldr: start much smaller.

~~~
ipiz0618
This is a practical method, but every now and then I sit down and review my
own goals, and find they have changed after I achieved the first few smaller
goals. I wonder if this is common at all.

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andrefuchs
There is nothing wrong with trying out many things. Do you have fun doing it?
Maybe you just need to adjust your point of view.

Try all the things, collect knowledge and see what sticks.

