
Why do we still shame adults who live with their parents? - stickydink
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/feb/28/michael-b-jordan-live-with-parents-millennials-shame
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protonimitate
Why do we do it? America was literally founded on the idea of independence.
That idea got turned into a personal virtue embedded into every citizen that
was born and raised or immigrated here to "make it".

The independent spirit was commercialized capitalized on by advertisers and
used as a way to sell us things. Houses with big yards in a quiet
neighborhood, two cars, family vacations - all paid for by the sweat off your
own back. Your value as a citizen and person was measured by how many things
you could provide for your direct family.

We should adopt a more family-centered valuation of life (and not just the
nuclear family, but extended family and 'found' family as well). But we won't.
Somehow Americans have this idea that sacrificing something for someone who
isn't your chosen partner or offspring is bad, and accepting help by anyone
else is a sin.

It will be interesting to see how things will turn out in the next 25-50
years. People are becoming increasingly hyper-connected and at the same time
mental health issues directly related to loneliness and depression are rising
[1]. Will the new generation(s) finally reject the "American Dream" work ethic
and self-reliance? It seems like it may be the only option moving forward.

[https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/08/170805165319.h...](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/08/170805165319.htm)

~~~
lurquer
I was in Mexico not too long ago at a friend's hacienda. Our conversation
turned towards the frequency of multi-generational housing arrangements in
Mexico versus the U.S. His explanation? Trees. The U.S. has always had an
abundance of cheap lumber. Not so in Mexico. Consequently, houses are built of
stone (or, more recently, cinder block) in Mexico. They have the potential to
last centuries. The U.S. houses, on the other hand, are stick-frame wooden
structures that won't last even the lifespan of the owner.

The upshot is that there is no great attachment to the home in which you were
raised for an American; it will be eaten by termites or blown over in a storm
long before your kids are born.

In Mexico, though, the house in which you were raised will be standing long
after your parents are gone. And, if you stand to inherit it, there's no point
in moving out.

Just one of many factors, of course. But, I enjoyed his immediate answer... it
was very obvious to him.

~~~
lsiunsuex
> The U.S. houses, on the other hand, are stick-frame wooden structures that
> won't last even the lifespan of the owner.

I'm... confused about this. Our house was built in 1912 making it about 106
years old now. Sure - things have needed to be upgraded - gas lamps to fuses
to breaker panel; single pane windows to double hung double pane; coal heating
to gas furnace, etc... but the frame is still solid. Nothing is 16 inches on
center, hahahaha (hahah :( ), but even the hard wood floors are original. A
sanding and a re-stain / poly and their just as good as new.

~~~
lurquer
When discussing populations of 300+ million, generalizations are to be
expected.

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WheelsAtLarge
Our economy wants for everyone to have their own place. Companies lose sales
if multi-generations share items. Look at advertisements and you'll see them
emphasize the 1 generation home.

It wasn't always that way. The 20th-century economy and advertisement brought
that to fruition.

We don't give the adman enough credit for the shape of our society.
Advertisements are very powerful in shaping how we live but they only care
about profits, not the overall impact.

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stormking
It's not "adults who live with their parents" who are shamed, but specifically
men. For women, it's completely acceptable and probably even "proves" that
they're more responsible than men.

Must be male privilege.

