

My Wife Is Telling Me to Have Drinks with Other Women (maybe You Should, Too) - Jasonp
https://medium.com/@jasonp/my-wife-is-telling-me-to-have-drinks-with-other-women-4c0bd9074abf

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Schwolop
Today's Dilbert is highly relevant:
[http://www.dilbert.com/strips/comic/2014-10-22/](http://www.dilbert.com/strips/comic/2014-10-22/)

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Jasonp
Wow, that timing.

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Semiapies
I'm a little puzzled. If you're uncomfortable having business drinks with
women, and you've seen how a simple invitation can go badly in a sexual
harassment context, why not just _stop_ having drinks as a context for a
business meeting with either men or women? Have lunch, get together for
coffee, etc.

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Jasonp
The point I am trying to make is a little broader: assume that a lot of
business and networking does happen over drinks already. In my business it
does. There's nothing wrong with coffee, lunch, etc. It's just that if I am
going to do a lot of business over drinks in the afternoon or evening, it
seems unfair to limit those opportunities to other men.

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Semiapies
I don't think the points are very different in breadth. You're saying, Do
thing X with women if you're comfortable doing it with men. I'm saying the
alternative is, Don't do thing X with men if you're uncomfortable doing it
with women.

Normally, I'd say they were equivalent and lean towards the first option as
less limiting, but if there are serious potential downsides, the second option
seems to have merit.

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jamiethehutt
As a man who doesn't drink I can't help but feel the problem here isn't
drinking with the opposite sex but drinking as part of a business relationship
(outside the Christmas party).

I don't think I would be particularly comfortable at such a meeting; If I did
drink I'd not enjoy the act and quickly become introverted (I have a low
tolerance, I'm not used to it). If I didn't drink I would feel I'm not
committing to the social aspect of the meeting.

What's wrong with a working lunch?

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Jasonp
I think it would be great for my health if my industry didn't run on alcohol.

Per my comment above, I am more concerned in this case with unconsciously
limiting our opportunities for partnerships, deal, etc, to businesses run by
other men just because the current norm frowns on having a drink with women.

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Torgo
The wife of the person the article is addressing seems oddly absent from the
article. I am guessing a lot of men do not go out for drinks alone with women
in a professional context out of respect for their wife's feelings.

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dlu
This seems to happen a lot. Sheryl Sandberg talks about this too especially
with mentoring which requires a lot of a one on one meeting

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Jasonp
True, mentoring is necessarily one-on-one.

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huu
The $10,000 pay difference between men and women in executive positions seems
far from practically the same to me.

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Jasonp
Fair point. It should be rephrased to mean, a much smaller gap than is
commonly understood to exist.

I paraphrased from the event, and then added the data w/o double checking.
Shame on me.

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bawss
Maybe his wife who chose not to even take his last name, went out to get some
D with other guys. Thinking it meant "D"rinks

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meric
There's a chance the wife is having drinks with other men (just as friends)
and she feels guilty so wants her husband to get drinks with other women as
well.

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informatimago
Definitely. She's probably planing to get divorced. Come back to us in six
months...

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Jasonp
I think this underlines the point rather well -- it's SO improbable that
sharing a drink is anything but romantic that you guys assume a divorce in
6months?

FWIW, my wife (Monica Guzman) is commenting actively on FB thread about this
here.
[https://www.facebook.com/moniguzman/posts/759642049127?notif...](https://www.facebook.com/moniguzman/posts/759642049127?notif_t=comment_mention)

