
Ask HN: In a bad spot right now in life, need advice - SpanishConf
I am in a pretty bad spot right now, and I do not know simply what do with my life. I am from Spain, 19, and M. I graduated from HS 1 year ago and went to a what is considered a 2nd-tier Uni here in Spain to study CS, because my grades in HS and the SAT were bad.<p>I had never actually “coded” or had done anything remotely CS related before I went to Uni.<p>I chose CS mainly because I’ve always been interested in tech but just let’s just say in the “consumer-oriented” aspect of it, never really having acquired a useful skill throughout all the years I’ve spent in front of a PC being an introvert in HS, other than I guess ENG. And so, during my 1st semester I failed all of my finals.<p>I also don’t know how to study or actually learn things by the way.<p>I failed all of my finals because of a combination of reasons, but I’d say the biggest one by far is my own laziness and lack of will to actually work, and also me not being “smart” when it comes down to math and such, with which I’ve struggled all my life, which makes you think “oh, why did you go into CS, then”.<p>Now, after dropping outta Uni this last June, I’m staying at my parents’ home for a year, getting my driver’s license and such and preparing for Vocational School next year, which I couldn’t get into this year because in my region of Spain you could only apply during the Month of May and I fucked up.
I am planning to choose “Web Development”, but I haven’t done anything throughout this last summer and up until now.
During all my years in HS I also lied to other people about who I was. I even told them I made trailers for DICE and made money online, so now I have no friends I can speak in town where my parents live because other than the fact that they’re all in university I am ashamed of all of those lies I told and the false persona I created to justify my introversion. I’m depressed, in a way. I’m scheduled to see psychologist in 2-wa, so we’ll see.<p>Anyways, if you’ve made it this far, thanks in advance
======
raztogt21
I'm 26, male. I sort relate to your situation when I was 19.

Interested in CS since spent a lot of time in front of a PC as well. You would
consider me "average" at UNI. Studied CS at the top UNI of México (not an IVY
league), but good enough to catch attention of FAANG's. Never stellar in
comparison to my other classmates who had been programming since they were 12.
Spent a lot of time with videogames since HS and UNI, and fooled around
classes a lot. Felt like a bum when graduated (compared to what my classmates
were achieving at those times).

Two tips:

1\. Ditch videogames, porn, binge-watching series/movies/random videos,
gambling, drinking, etc. Anything that is taking 3-4 hours of chunk of your
time per day. You need this time for tip number 2.

2\. Show up everyday. Start picking books, tutorials, courses, articles on Web
Programming, Python, Algorithms, Security, Business, etc. On a daily basis, 2
hours per day. After 2 or 3 years it will be drilled in your head, you will
feel competent and grow confidence. It is extremely important that you do this
everyday, even on weekends, double it down on weekends.

I feel so much better right now after 4-5 years. My employers consider me a
top performer and handle me responsibilities (and compensation) way beyond
someone my age.

Vamos hombre!

~~~
SpanishConf
A ver, primero de todo me gustaría decirte que me parece, y con todo el debido
respeto, un poco hipócrita decir que eras un estudiante medio considerando que
fuistes a la mejor universidad de tu país (no sé, en España si te vas a
estudiar a las mejores unis del estado eres considerado listo ya solo de
promedio, así que bueno, entiendes lo que te quiero decir, no,en fin).

Gracias por tus consejos, y los intentaré seguir. Me ha sorprendido un poco lo
del porno xD. Por suerte no bebo y tal, así que al menos eso a mí no me supone
un problema.

Para terminar, me alegro de que ahora mismo estés en una situación laboral
buena y que seas uno de los mejores trabajadores en tu empresa. Me gustaría
felicitarte por ello ;)

~~~
raztogt21
No es ser hipocrita. Es muy fácil sentirte "promedio" cuando tienes al lado
gente que lleva programando 5-6 años antes que tú. Personas que hicieron su
primer app a los 13, un compilador a los 15, un ERP a los 17. Te llevan años
de ventaja.

Un estudiante "promedio" va la escuela pasa sus materias; las sufre un poco y
se gradua. No destaca, no hace un extra. No importa si estudies en Stanford,
Harvard o la Universidad Técnica #116 de tu país. Ser de 'x' o 'y' lugar no
hace diferencia.

Una computadora de 200 euros con conexión a internet y disciplina es lo único
que necesitas para armarte un futuro.

~~~
SpanishConf
>No es ser hipocrita. Es muy fácil sentirte "promedio" cuando tienes al lado
gente que lleva programando 5-6 años antes que tú. Personas que hicieron su
primer app a los 13, un compilador a los 15, un ERP a los 17. Te llevan años
de ventaja. Un estudiante "promedio" va la escuela pasa sus materias; las
sufre un poco y se gradua. No destaca, no hace un extra. No importa si
estudies en Stanford, Harvard o la Universidad Técnica #116 de tu país. Ser de
'x' o 'y' lugar no hace diferencia.

Me refería a la capacidad intelectual, no a la experiencia. Y que obviamente,
los dos factores importan.

------
jmarchello
Do you play a lot of video games? If so, I would recommend dropping them
completely. At lest until your life is where you want it. I spent all HS
playing video games and regret loosing so much time of my life. What’s more,
they are highly addictive and have severely stunted the progress of many
people I know closely. It will probably be hard but you’ll be amazed the
difference it makes in your ability to work hard and stay motivated.

~~~
JoeAltmaier
They even killed a young man I know. He dropped out, moved into a friend's
basement, played video games and drank only beer. Only beer, for months. Liver
damage, death.

~~~
archenemy
videogames damaged a man's liver and KILLED him? nah, i don't think so.

~~~
JoeAltmaier
Don't be deliberately dense. It was the addiction that killed him, made him
ignore his health and diet, ignore his friends and family

------
archenemy
as another spaniard almost 20 years older than you that went through a similar
thing:

\- get a service job (supermarket, fast food, warehouse hand, whatever) so you
can pay for your driving license (and other stuff) yourself. if you're feeling
down, a semblance of self sufficiency will do wonders for you. try to keep
that job when you resume your studies.

\- it seems that you're born to immigrant parents. THIS is a competitive
advantage if you frame it like so: you know how hard it is for immigrant
people to thrive and adapt. maybe easing this difficulties for newcomers is a
worthy pursuit?. volunteer while you find a job.

\- stop faking, for other people and mostly for yourself. you seem to know a
lot about economy and the job market. you don't. IT in spain doesn't pay that
well (moreso if you are inexperienced), and is highly volatile. 'stable' jobs
don't exist anymore.

good luck, and be patient. most people around here will treat you as a child
until you're at least 7-8 years older. it's okay and normal to feel lost and
disheartened.

~~~
sick_of_web_dev
How you figure he was born to immigrant parents?

~~~
archenemy
because I read what he posted before I post myself:

    
    
      > My parents are also from Ukraine, and in my part of Spain the language commonly spoken "on the streets" is Catalan, so within the timespan of a day I always have to changee between and speak 5 different languages (Outside- > Catalan and Spanish, Computer-> English & Spanish, Family-> Ukrainian and Russian)

~~~
iopuy
Wow, that is a skill that should be marketable in itself!

~~~
stefkors
Surprisingly less so in Europe.

------
imhoguy
> _I chose CS mainly because I’ve always been interested in tech but just
> let’s just say in the “consumer-oriented” aspect of it, never really having
> acquired a useful skill throughout all the years I’ve spent in front of a
> PC_

So let's assume you gained some power user skills. Can you help people with
tech? Can you tweak Windows or slow Android tablet, recover some deleted files
with point and click program? Start helping people around, get a job in some
tech repair shop. Understand how and why things work. Learn, learn, learn.
Once you will see issues and inefficiencies around you, do on-line Python
course and start automating things.

There is no rush, give yourself a time to discover your path.

------
itronitron
I'm reading a book now which I recommend, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a
F^ck", and which has been mentioned on HN before. You may find it helpful or
at least interesting.

You communicate naturally, so I encourage you to find a job where you can
_talk with_ a lot of different people every day. That will also help expose
you to more and different things.

Don't beat yourself up for not fitting into one of the molds that the
educational system defines. Read the Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson
and you will realize just how much of a misfit he was.

~~~
SpanishConf
> I'm reading a book now which I recommend, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a
> F^ck", and which has been mentioned on HN before. You may find it helpful or
> at least interesting.

Great, I'll read it.

> You communicate naturally, so I encourage you to find a job where you can
> talk with a lot of different people every day. That will also help expose
> you to more and different things.

I'm sorry, but such as? Tech Support?

> Don't beat yourself up for not fitting into one of the molds that the
> educational system defines. Read the Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson
> and you will realize just how much of a misfit he was.

I'll try to read that too! Yeah, I'm definitely a misfit for sure.

Thanks for your response :)

~~~
Lenad
> You communicate naturally, so I encourage you to find a job where you can
> talk with a lot of different people every day. That will also help expose
> you to more and different things.

I guess product-related (PO, PM), UX-related or business-developer/sales jobs,
maybe for tech companies

~~~
SpanishConf
I guess I have to ask how does one get started with that?

~~~
badpun
You'll need some kind of degree to get a first job in such area. CS degrees
are the best for it, but it should be possible to pull it off with a business
degree that has some tech focus.

------
JSeymourATL
> but I’d say the biggest one by far is my own laziness and lack of will to
> actually work...

How do you feel about military service?

In the US; voluntary military service is seen as a path to gain discipline,
experience, and academic scholarships. España may have similar benefits >
[http://www.reclutamiento.defensa.gob.es/como-
ingresar/reserv...](http://www.reclutamiento.defensa.gob.es/como-
ingresar/reservistas-voluntarios/que-es-ser-reservista-voluntario/)

~~~
asdkhadsj
I feel too old for service now, but out of curiosity - where can people serve
if they don't agree with the political/military climate? Ie, I always wanted
to serve but I didn't want to go kill largely innocent people in other
countries.

Eventually I realized that the police force was far more up my alley. Yet,
even that is difficult due to the militarization of the police force and the
general unrest between civilians and police.

Is there an area that feels largely.. good? A mostly positive force for
humanity? To serve the betterment of others, not so much war?

NOTE: I hope you _(readers)_ can take my question at face value, and not argue
my opinions regarding police and/or military. No judgement intended, but my
question is all I am hoping to discuss :)

~~~
JSeymourATL
> where can people serve if they don't agree with the political/military
> climate?

Start looking at Humanitarian and Civil Service organizations.

A few with Global Reach -

>
> [http://www.caritasmadrid.org/voluntariado](http://www.caritasmadrid.org/voluntariado)

> [https://www.unv.org/](https://www.unv.org/)

>
> [https://www.volunteermatch.org/search/org997668.jsp](https://www.volunteermatch.org/search/org997668.jsp)

------
bigredhdl
Your post could have been made by me in 1995. I barely graduated high school
and had lied a lot, mostly to my parents. I joined the US Air Force and some
time in there, I just decided that lying was more trouble than it is worth.
Now, I never lie. Ever. Period. It is very freeing. Now, as for your career. I
wouldn't be so down about not knowing what to do. My career track was Air
Force->College->Electrical Engineer->Technical Sales->Embedded
Engineer->Software Developer

Not necessarily the model of climbing the ladder, but I've learned something
at every stop along the way. It's amazing the things that seem trivial at the
time, but 20 years later still provide value.

It sounds like you may need to spend some time on what kind of person you want
to be. Don't put too much of your identity into what you do for money. Maybe
spend some time trying to help others. Helping others can put your own
struggles into perspective.

Good luck. I'll be praying for you.

~~~
SpanishConf
Interesting to see people having different life paths. Thanks for sharing your
personal story :)

------
otras
> _I also don’t know how to study or actually learn things by the way._

I just posted this in a different thread, but it's very relevant here:

For the idea of building and improving the analytical part of your brain, I
highly recommend the Coursera course Learning How to Learn by Dr. Barbara
Oakley. [0] An excerpt from her Wikipedia page[1]:

 _After her Army duties ended, Oakley decided to challenge herself and see if
her brain, more used to the study of languages, could be 'retooled' to study
mathematical subjects. She chose to study engineering, in order to better
understand the communications equipment she had been working with in the
Army._

[0]: [https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-
learn](https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn) [1]:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Oakley](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Oakley)

~~~
SpanishConf
Interesting, I'll check this out indeed.

------
piocho
-> I chose CS mainly because I’ve always been interested in tech but just let’s just say in the “consumer-oriented” aspect of it, never really having acquired a useful skill throughout all the years I’ve spent in front of a PC being an introvert in HS, other than I guess ENG. And so, during my 1st semester I failed all of my finals.

Have you ever thought of something else for your job? If you haven't got any
motivation in this, you might consider looking elsewhere.

------
rronalddas
Hey try reading this article by Tim Urban
[https://waitbutwhy.com/2018/04/picking-
career.html](https://waitbutwhy.com/2018/04/picking-career.html)

~~~
SpanishConf
Wow, really interesting and informative. I'll try to read the link carefully
and actually get to understand what the author is trying to convey.

Thanks a lot!

------
51lver
I do not mean this to be mean, it is something that made me feel less stupid
and worthless when I was younger. Smart doesn't often succeed all by itself,
but hard work usually does.

You gotta put in the work if you want the result. Luckily, you can choose your
own challenges.

Maybe you're not a book learner. Try getting a job shadowing someone with some
skills you want and learning on the job. Maybe try online development classes
instead of school. Hell, start hacking around with unity3d or something fun if
you want to feel like you're not wasting your time while learning.

------
rayvy
> 19

19 year old Spanish guy. Hear me clearly: YOU HAVE SO MUCH TIME!

One of the big down sides to being a millennial (maybe you're Generation Z?)
is that we've grown up in an era that makes us believe that if we aren't
Zuckerbot by the time we're 22 then we've failed and are slacking.

Simply not true.

Plenty of other commenters will give you advice related to other things, but
let me just say again, for emphasis: MAN, YOU HAVE SO MUCH TIME TO DO
EVERYTHING AND ACHIEVE EVERYTHING. In no way have you "f@ck3d your life
permanently". You have so much time. Make the most, out of the rest of it :)

Cheers

~~~
SpanishConf
Hahaha, thanks for your advice. But I understand that to "make it" one has to
start young, for better or worse.

------
elda534
there is a series of books by this woman named Barbara Oakley, she studied
languages while she did military service because all throughout her schooling
she felt bad at math and science, now she has a PHd in Engineering, you might
get something out of reading them, the first one (or at least the more
influential one) is called "A Mind for Numbers"

there are also other books you might get something out of, thinking about
pursuing a career in web development, which is related to computer science and
programming, too many to list, but a couple I've read recently and think are
really worth reading are "How to Solve it" by G. Polya, and "Think Like a
Programmer" by V. Anton Spraul

also, don't feel to down for flunking, or get the idea that vocational school
is less worthwhile than University (short them, maybe, but if you're good, it
doesn't matter if you didn't get a University Degree, I myself have a job as a
Software Developer and haven't gotten a degree)

do be honest from now on, and stay disciplined, there was this guy (can't
remember the name right now) who said that we aren't truly free unless we are
disciplined, for we are slaves to our bodily urges, and to our laziness, or
something to that effect

asking for help is a start, stay motivated!

~~~
SpanishConf
Already started reading one of those books, thanks, stay motivated in life you
too ;)

------
unknownkadath
Do you really want to do CS? If not, that is OK! There is no One True Path
(TM) to geek bliss.

Is there anything else you'd like to do? Maybe something that's more of a
technician role, where you use tech rather than designing it? Say, like an
auto mechanic or IT administration, where you'll be using your hands and
"doing" rather than cranking out lines of code.

Also, good on ya for going to talk to a professional. I was in a similar jam a
while back and it made all the difference.

~~~
SpanishConf
> Do you really want to do CS? If not, that is OK! There is no One True Path
> (TM) to geek bliss.

I hope, but here in Spain, may I reiterate, it's a stable job so you get an
idea why I like CS further than just liking because of whatever other reason,
and all the other paths other than software development are weird and very not
stable. I like CS, but I am lazy and again, not very smart (which I am not
ashamed I am not very smart and so on, it's just a matter of fact, call it IQ
call it whatever, I don't have a talent for logic).

> Is there anything else you'd like to do? Maybe something that's more of a
> technician role, where you use tech rather than designing it? Say, like an
> auto mechanic or IT administration, where you'll be using your hands and
> "doing" rather than cranking out lines of code.

I don't like cars so auto-mechanic is sadly a no-no for me, IDK about IT
Administration, afaik, most people get to be managers and such at IT Companies
after being for some years proficient coders and software developers, which I
guess would not be the best path for me. But indeed, I should investigate!

> Also, good on ya for going to talk to a professional. I was in a similar jam
> a while back and it made all the difference.

Great for you :)! After going to the doctor here a lot recently because of
many reasons, she finally decided to send me to one, so we'll see how it goes!

Thank you for your response :)

~~~
unknownkadath
In my case, I felt that I desperately wanted to work hard, but getting into a
state of flow was rare, and as deadlines approached I often felt like I was
pushing an unstable boulder uphill, like Sisyphus. This caused, and sometimes
still causes, some terrible procrastination issues. I felt so guilty when I
turned in mediocre efforts when I could have done so much more. In my case, it
turned out to be anxiety issues (though everyone is different). Now that I
recognize what was going awry, I can face it head on, and I am getting better
every day.

It sounds like you're doing all that you can, friend. By the way, I think
you're selling yourself short; you're a great communicator, especially for
someone writing in a non-native language. That is absolutely NOT the mark of a
lazy or unclever person.

Best of luck in your future endevours! :)

~~~
SpanishConf
>In my case, I felt that I desperately wanted to work hard, but getting into a
state of flow was rare, and as deadlines approached I often felt like I was
pushing an unstable boulder uphill, like Sisyphus. I felt so guilty, even
though I love my field. In my case, it turned out to be anxiety issues (though
everyone is different!)

Interesting, I think I too share this "state of mind", so to speak. Sometimes
I think more about how I should be working instead of doing whatever that when
I actually get to do "work" I don't do it "properly" or "adequately" because I
am simply "anxious" and the only thing I can think about is simply not fucking
up instead of doing what should be done, just working. Hopefully that's your
"similar" problem, however couple that with depression and laziness and you've
got a recipe for failure like me ;)

But it's great that going to the psychologist helped you out.

I'm gonna assume you're American because the rule of thumb is to assume
everyone is American on the English Internet by default because statistically
it's more likely to be true and say that going to the psychologist is probably
like more accepted there than here? Like here in Spain it took a little bit of
convincing or "thinking" for my "public healthcare" doctor to assign me to a
psychologist so IDK. Either way, great!

>It sounds like you're testing several avenues, friend. By the way, I think
you're selling yourself short; you're a great communicator, especially for
someone writing in a non-native language.

_Makes random mistake while writing, gets over-anxious about it as a
consequence of being praised for (etc..)_ :)

Hahaha, thanks. That's what you get as a reward for years and years of
Introversion spending lots of time alone reading and commenting on reddit and
more recently (over the last year or so) on HN and watching YouTube content in
English everyday hahaha :)

My parents are also from Ukraine, and in my part of Spain the language
commonly spoken "on the streets" is Catalan, so within the timespan of a day I
always have to changee between and speak 5 different languages (Outside- >
Catalan and Spanish, Computer-> English & Spanish, Family-> Ukrainian and
Russian), sometimes even within a time frame of a minute, so I'm just used to
"different languages" in general (sometimes I even wonder how do I not mix all
of those 5 languages up and I've found that I tend to do that more at the
spoken irl level, actually). But seriously, I am bad at math and that sucks
for me :P

>Best of luck in your future endevours! :)

You too!

~~~
imhoguy
> Outside- > Catalan and Spanish, Computer-> English & Spanish, Family->
> Ukrainian and Russian

Wow, your language skills look decent. Join it with some IT curiosity and make
some help website/forum/services for Ukrainian and Russian people in Spain,
you would be surprised how much demand it may bring you. You can try get
Certified Translator title too both in Spain and Ukraine to boost credibility.
I know Central European immigrant who did it in Spain -- constant flow of
customers.

------
srameshc
Do not overwhelm yourself with all that happened. Write down all the things
you want to do in your life. You are only 19 and you can achieve a lot. Start
by doing little of whatever you want to learn, like coding. Give yourself some
time to accomplish what you want. But the key is keep learning little by
little everyday. In next few years you can still get good in computer science
and also become a good web developer. Good luck.

------
Rjevski
I can relate with some parts of this story. Used to be a "throwaway" kid with
no future, dropped out of high school, etc.

The best advice I can give you is to not care about education (it's a waste of
time for the most part) and learn to solve _real_ problems. Every second of
your free "work" time (don't forget to also take time off to go out and enjoy
yourself) should be _invested_ into your skills so you get a return on that
investment later. When you're doing something, ask yourself how is this
relevant to your goal of earning money and whether it will give you a
skill/experience you can reuse later. If it can't, then stop and do something
else.

Learn a web framework (I recommend Django); web development is easy and
doesn't require advanced theoretical knowledge (where a CS degree might
actually be useful), pays well and will stay relevant even in the "apps" era
as those still need a backend server to talk to. This will also give you the
ability to build projects end-to-end which is extremely valuable when you're
trying to launch your own startup and don't necessarily have the funding to
pay someone just to make you an MVP.

Once you do this, build a few projects, open-source them (just so you have a
portfolio to show off) and then move out to London or similar non-shit town
where people are valued by their experience and skills instead of meaningless
pieces of paper (I am from France and this was the situation there, and I
assume Spain is sadly similar although there might be a startup scene in
Barcelona so maybe try there?).

Good luck!

~~~
SpanishConf
> I can relate with some parts of this story. Used to be a "throwaway" kid
> with no future, dropped out of high school, etc.

> The best advice I can give you is to not care about education (it's a waste
> of time for the most part) and learn to solve real problems. Every second of
> your free "work" time (don't forget to also take time off to go out and
> enjoy yourself) should be invested into your skills so you get a return on
> that investment later. When you're doing something, ask yourself how is this
> relevant to your goal of earning money and whether it will give you a
> skill/experience you can reuse later. If it can't, then stop and do
> something else.

Capitalism at work :), but yes. I also find it hard to self-asses if what I am
doing sometimes is "lucrative" or not.

> Learn a web framework (I recommend Django); web development is easy and
> doesn't require advanced theoretical knowledge (where a CS degree might
> actually be useful), pays well and will stay relevant even in the "apps" era
> as those still need a backend server to talk to. This will also give you the
> ability to build projects end-to-end which is extremely valuable when you're
> trying to launch your own startup and don't necessarily have the funding to
> pay someone just to make you an MVP.

Okay, I could get started on that. Thanks for making a specific
recommendation, I'll look into it for sure.

> Once you do this, build a few projects, open-source them (just so you have a
> portfolio to show off) and then move out to London or similar non-shit town
> where people are valued by their experience and skills instead of
> meaningless pieces of paper (I am from France and this was the situation
> there, and I assume Spain is sadly similar although there might be a startup
> scene in Barcelona so maybe try there?).

Hahaha, I can't move out of Spain atm because of family reasons sadly so
London is a big no-no for me and sadly Barcelona is expensive "af^99" compared
to literally anywhere else in Spain, except maybe Bilbao or Madrid especially
housing wise. I've heard about Barcelona's vibrant startup scene (afaik it's
the biggest one in S. Europe) and I also speak Catalan Natively but I'm not
Catalan (actually it's my "first-first native language, other than Spanish"
which means I am already ahead integration wise vs other people there, but
again it's just too darn expensive. But I guess I'll see if I make it after
vocational school.

I've read the situation in France in regard to what we call here "titulitis"
(titulo-> degree, "degreetitis" making it sound like a bad medical condition)
and that it's hard for people there to get an engineering job unless they have
master.

In Spain it's also bad but afaik with Vocational School it's better but not
great.

Also, we got fucked pretty hard with the Bologna Plan in regard to unis.

If anyone who reads this understands Spanish, this video is a must watch to
just comprehend how much we got royally fucked over:
[https://youtu.be/sUYBKSm9Si4](https://youtu.be/sUYBKSm9Si4)

> Good luck!

You too, thanks for your response, neighbor :)

------
corpMaverick
Here is my crazy idea.

Walk "El camino de Santiago". This will give you a daily goal, it will keep
you busy and it will get you out of the current depressing routine, allowing
you to reset your mind. You will meet new people and change your outlook on
the world. It will also increase your confidence.

~~~
SpanishConf
Heh, heh. To be completely honest a little bit too fat for it atm, and I don't
exactly want to go to the Northern Part of my country that has (and this is
factually true) a worse weather rain wise than England especially during
autumn.

But I can see how it can be a life changing experience :)

------
tixocloud
Take a step back and let's look at what you've done, what you're good at and
what you love to do.

More often that not, we tend to overlook what we're good at and simply passing
it off but to others, it might be an incredible skill to have that can be
applied in many different instances.

------
hackermailman
For studying I basically followed this:
[http://calnewport.com/blog/2011/05/18/anatomy-of-an-a-a-
look...](http://calnewport.com/blog/2011/05/18/anatomy-of-an-a-a-look-inside-
the-process-of-one-of-the-worlds-most-efficient-studiers/)

tl;dr, you write compressed notes, or cornell notes style, which is all the
concepts presented to you in a semester. You then attempt to teach these
concepts to an invisible class: "If you can’t, out loud or on paper, explain
the idea without confusion or contradiction, stop and figure it out right
there."

If you've been an end-user for most of your life, you are probably good at
user interface design having used an endless sequence of shitty UI. This
course has almost everything open like recorded lectures
[http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~bam/uicourse/05863fall17/schedule.htm...](http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~bam/uicourse/05863fall17/schedule.html)
then go about practicing by redesigning free templates for Shopify/Wordpress
or create your own.

CS curriculum for me consisted entirely of terribly boring Java courses to the
point I considered dropping out, as I was just doing the bare minimum of work
to stay afloat, until I abandoned the recommended curriculum and started
taking complexity theory classes. Theoretical CS for me at least was
motivating and interesting, maybe it will be for you, go through some of this
playlist, see if you're interested. If you are then if it's possible try to
re-enroll in university, and use expii.com to practice basic math
[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWnu2XymDtORV--
qG2uG5eQ/pla...](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWnu2XymDtORV--
qG2uG5eQ/playlists)

~~~
SpanishConf
Interesting :)

------
whatever_user
OK. This is a throaway account, I'm a Software Engineer with 10 years of
experience working in Madrid. Currently head of development of a 5-people
team. This is my advice, take it if you want.

# About failing in University

Failing some semesters in Ingeniería Informática (Computer Science in Spanish
universities for our English speaking friends) is normal. Nobody pass the
exams on the first try but:

\- People with extensive Math experience (not my case). \- People that study
like all day (my case). \- Gifted people (sadly also not my case).

So, you're not less than anybody. From I remember, the average time the
students spent to achieve the degree was like 7-9 years. I spent 5 + 1/2 years
(I know I'm old and our degrees were 5 years) but had no social life (apart
from my girlfriend) and ended the degree with a anxiety, depression, stress...
Let's say my mental health was deficient.

In recent years the degree has improved and Software Engineering degree (at
least in Madrid) has more practice classes and has less theoretical content.

# About lying, depression, seen a psychologist

Everything you have written is normal. You are not a freak or are damaged,
stupid or whatever deleterious thing you think about yourself. You were
unprepared for one of the most difficult degrees in Spain. High School is a
joke and (during my time) nobody had enough foundations to pass the tests
without private teachers help or without studying very hard. You are most of
people.

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but do not lie, be a man and accept what
you are and the consequences of your actions.

You think you are not smart? Do you think that everybody that is successful is
smart? They work like hell and work in a smart way (like checking old tests of
a subject when studying).

What are you passioned about?

During recent times when I'm low of morale I like to read "Marcus Aurelius
Meditations" [1] and watch motivational videos [2][3][4][5] (funny isn't it?
But it works). Once you know in your inner-self that your life is ephemeral
and you are destined to greatness, you'll start working.

I visited two psychologist for years after university (and other health issues
that depressed me). It helped me to gain confidence and believe in myself.
Also, how to be organized and to know that I was not crazy and that my
feelings were normal.

# Study/Work/Etc.

Have two plans: short-term and long-term. My advice would be:

## Short term

Study your vocational degree and do some projects on the side. Useful projects
that motivate you. Try to start working at a job as soon as you end your
studies (if you can, choose a "dual FP" (FP with emphasis in real work
practices).

Hop each year or two years until you are earning enough money to live a
comfortable life. Now the hard part starts.

## Long term

During your short term period you have discovered:

\- You crave for understanding of the foundations of software. \- You have a
glass ceiling if you don't have an University degree.

Do not panic. Enroll in a distance university (UNED is fine, Universidad de
Burgos seems easier but more expensive, etc.) and take some courses each year.
You'll graduate in like 7-8 years. I know you'll have to make sacrifices like
studying in the summer and in the weekends but keep the good work. When you
graduate you'll have enough real-work experience to double your salary and
from now on, increase each year or couple of years.

Move to where the work is, i.e. Madrid.

# Corolarium

I hope I've helped you, or at least I've given you something to think about.

If you want more advice or need to talk about your future, I'm available at
whateveruserhn@gmail.com.

[1] [https://www.amazon.es/Meditaciones-Serie-Great-
Ideas-12/dp/8...](https://www.amazon.es/Meditaciones-Serie-Great-
Ideas-12/dp/8430601031/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0/261-2454397-0152026?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NPRB7HDKWJWWEDM7CK30)

[2]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFalmesXWMY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFalmesXWMY)

[3]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjejTQdK5OI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjejTQdK5OI)

[4] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21FHc9hN-
WI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21FHc9hN-WI)

[5]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abeAA6Apt80](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abeAA6Apt80)

~~~
SpanishConf
Perdón por no haberte contestado antes. Acabo de leer todo lo que has escrito
y lo he intentado comprender bien leyéndolo de manera atenta. Gracias por
haber respondido al hilo :)

>So, you're not less than anybody. From I remember, the average time the
students spent to achieve the degree was like 7-9 years. I spent 5 + 1/2 years
(I know I'm old and our degrees were 5 years) but had no social life (apart
from my girlfriend) and ended the degree with a anxiety, depression, stress...
Let's say my mental health was deficient.

Jajaja, entonces ni teníais el plan bolonia, sí que eres viejuno de verdad ;)

En fin, me he leído todo lo que me has escrito. «Acepto» tus consejos, excepto
dos.

1\. Lo de irme a vivir a Madrid. A ver, no sé si me explico, soy valenciano,
estuve una vez en Madrid hace poco y no me gustó mucho, la verdad, en todo
caso creo que hay según tengo entendido bastante trabajo en la area
metropolitana de Valencia así que primero de todo empezaría por ir a buscar
trabajo de por aquí más cerquita.

2\. A día de hoy tengo pensado hacer un FP en DAW or DAM primero de todo,
antes de pensar en «volver» a la universidad o lo que sea. ¿Piensas que el FP
sería un error para mi?

Bueno, muchas gracias por todo otra vez, y me cuesta pero estoy intentando de
cualquier manera, ya desde hace 4 meses, aceptar que es normal (y según
recuerdo se da en el 60% de los casos) que me haya dejado la carrera de i.
informática, aunque de verdad sea una putada muy grande. Lo peor de todo es
que sabía perfectamente que esto en su momento ya me podía pasar y tal, pero
nunca tomé las medidas adecuadas para prevenir lo evitable.

