
Ten Things I've Learned While Dating an Entrepreneur - lux
http://alysonshane.com/blog/post/3976/10-things-ive-learned-while-dating-entrepreneur
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jvagner
Can we stop pretending that entrepreneur's are a new species that need special
treatment?

It's work. A job. And, in fact, from an economics perspective, small business
ownership by those under 30 is at an all-time low.

~~~
ibebrett
I totally agree. I have worked in two "startups" (both great experiences). My
father started an electrical contracting business when he was in his 20s. No
one called him an entrepreneur or said he was building a startup.

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7Figures2Commas
_10 Things I 've Learned While Dating Somebody Without Balance in Their Life_
would be a more appropriate title for this post.

> Everyone says that they want to date someone driven" John said to me last
> night "but most people can't actually date someone with drive and ambition
> because they feel threatened by it."

This is a convenient way to justify one's inability to maintain healthy
relationships and explain away past failed relationships, but most of the time
it simply isn't true. It is entirely possible to be ambitious and driven while
having interests outside of "work" and creating clear boundaries between one's
professional pursuits and personal relationships. People who leave workaholics
do so not because they are threatened by the workaholic's motivation to work
but because they are incapable of contributing to a relationship.

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bshimmin
I couldn't really work out if this was a parody or a cry for help. If it's not
the former, I think it's pretty desperately sad.

~~~
proveanegative
How so?

~~~
bshimmin
Because it sounds like the relationship she is describing is between two work
colleagues (or perhaps two co-founders) - "Mostly, we talk about work" \- not
a romantic relationship between adults; almost every point she makes is an
attempt to justify the compromises she must make on a daily basis because of
her partner's obsession with work.

There is more to life than work, and (to quote John Ruskin) there is no wealth
but life.

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noobiemcfoob
The various statements about this person's partner having horrible life
balance are unfounded at best. Yes, this article could point to poor life
balance, but it could just as well point to a well oriented but clearly
dedicated and passionate person.

While the behaviors may not be normal, there is a line between enabling
someone by sacrificing your own needs and simply accepting that everyone is
different in their passions, drives and hobbies.

~~~
7Figures2Commas
> The various statements about this person's partner having horrible life
> balance are unfounded at best.

You know how you can tell when you have a problem with work-life balance in a
relationship? When your partner writes a blog post noting:

1\. The lack of time you spend together.

2\. The work-related things you constantly talk about that he/she gets tired
of.

3\. Your inability to remember things.

4\. That he/she plays second fiddle to your work.

5\. Your inability to maintain a sane schedule.

6\. His/her feelings of loneliness, annoyance and frustration.

No relationship is perfect, but the author has been with her boyfriend for
only a year and all of these things are already clearly weighing on her. Right
now, she's trying to justify them. But most people can only do that for so
long before attempted accommodation turns to anger and resentment. When that
happens, relationships end, partners cheat, etc.

~~~
pXMzR2A
> Right now, she's trying to justify them. But most people can only do that
> for so long before attempted accommodation turns to anger and resentment.

Or before they meet someone new and interesting.

No, I don't mean that old and tired "she's looking for the next best thing" or
"he's a stepping stone" or "she's easy prey" crap.

What I mean is that tiny, contingent moment she will/may accidentally meet
someone who will peak her curiosity. Then all these attempts (and she is doing
some really really heavy lifting there) fail one after the other.

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ferrari8608
This scenario is not limited to entrepreneurs and founders. The boyfriend
described has a passion, is lucky enough to be getting paid to pursue said
passion, and seems to keep it his highest priority. I currently 'know a guy'
like that. He doesn't date.

I was also once a guy like that. It was only at that "me or your passion"
point in the relationship that priorities were re-evaluated, and our
relationship drastically improved for the both of us since. The choice doesn't
have to be black and white as was presented between the quotes in the previous
sentence, but the idea that it might be was enough to make me think more
seriously on the matter.

If the author is happy taking a back seat to her partner's life, then so be it
and good for her. The tone of the article, in my opinion, indicated otherwise.

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bsdpython
It's not just entrepreneurs - working professionals who work long hours can
overdo it. Pro tip: if it's Saturday night and you can't think of anything to
talk about besides work, you are boring your partner and ruining your
relationship.

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danpennypacker
"10 Things I Learned While Dating a Shitty Boyfriend"

------
logn
They aren't able to converse about anything other than work. People should be
more interesting than this. If there's nothing new to talk about ever then you
need to do some activity together or spend more time reading or whatnot. I
don't think anyone in my life could explain what I do better than 'codes some
Internet stuff and data'... because I rarely talk about work. If people want
to hear about your work, they will ask you and beg to hear more. Otherwise
they really don't care.

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ezl
_> "when you just want to spend the day vegging out eating an entire can of
Pringles"_

A whole day?! Driven entrepreneurs like me can finish a can of pringles in 15
minutes.

