

How to Have the Best Year of Your Life (without Setting a Single Goal) - yogrish
http://zenhabits.net/best-year/

======
mbesto
Advice I've now heard in the past year:

\- Set goals

\- Don't set goals

\- Build an MVP

\- Don't build an MVP, build the full product

\- etc etc

Meta discussion: "How to.." articles are beginning to annoy me. They should be
titled "How I did this..." or "What I did that worked for me.." A title of
"How to..." implies their methodology is prescriptive.

~~~
naeem
Yeah, not that I don't admire the zen-in-the-art-of-who-gives-a-fuck Hank
Moody approach to life, it's just not all that practical in the framework of,
say, career development. If you want to build a building, you start laying
bricks, you don't wander around with the expectation that you'll suddenly just
stumble into one.

~~~
127001brewer
I agree with your statement and I would add that some people (still) do not
realize that it takes many years to be an "overnight success". Without arguing
the merits of the "10,000 hours of practice" idea, the point is that you have
to practice your craft a lot to become "good".

Recently, a colleague asked me, and I am summarizing here, what shortcut(s)
can he take to get to my "level" (as a web developer)?

My answer was that there are no shortcuts - it takes hard-work and a lot of
time to become "good". This blunt easy can be hard to swallow, but why is
there a seemingly sense of "entitlement"?

Without my copy of the current issue of Make Magazine[1] directly in front of
me, either Saul Griffith ("MENTORing Kids Into Makers") or AnnMarie Thomas
("Real Tools for Kids") talk about how young people are not putting in the
hours - loosely speaking - in terms of learning engineering or science. I
think that there's a sense that hard-work isn't necessary - just being
"smart".

What happened with getting your hands dirty by putting in the long hours? For
me, the pursuit of happiness without the dedication to working hard is a
folly.

1\. <http://makezine.com/29/>

------
Evgeny
I really, really don't get this. I'm all for making my life more simple and
more relaxed. But I just can not agree from the very beginning, so the rest
gets lost on me.

 _Most good things happen without a plan: friendships, falling in love_

Okay, that may technically be right. However, if you're operating on a
home->work->home schedule, your chances to find love are minimal. Umm, a new
hire is an attractive lady, you suddenly find out that you have a lot in
common and fall in love. Chances?

In reality, if you're interested in finding a right person, you have to plan.
What are the places that increase your chances of meeting a compatible person?
How do you approach? What do you talk about? Yes, things _might_ happen
without a goal, but with a goal they _will_ happen.

 _finding a job, and so on._

This is so totally wrong. So here I am, in my job that I don't like, and then
- bam - without a plan I just land a new job. Maybe someone from Google just
calls you on a whim. Awesome! As someone who starts a new job this Monday:
"Does not happen!"

In reality, you get your next performance review, and there's no pay rise. So
you think enough is enough and start with a plan. You plan for a position and
for salary range. You plan on how many interviews you can have each week
without raising too much suspicion. You plan on how to learn about the company
and on the questions you'll have and how you'll demonstrate your strengths.
And then, in a couple of months, you have a new job. The 'other you', the guy
without plans, would still be in the same position he was months before.

I was really interested in zen habits and I'm subscribed to the blog so I read
all the new entries. Unfortunately, they all now seem to rehash everything
that's been said before - have no goals, reduce clutter, become vegan, have no
goal, relax ... some of his advice is really good, but some just does not make
sense to me.

~~~
iliis
Yes, I does happen. It did to me and it did to others. I think you are right
as well: A lot of things in life need planning and good execution. But there's
another very important ingredient: opportunities.

You go to a bar to meet new people. That's a good plan to create
opportunities.[1] But there are a lot of opportunities when you are not
looking for them. And when you are not expecting these they can be very hard
to notice. I think that's the point of not planning: Not a anarchistic
approach to life but going into the world with open eyes.

I leave you with a bit of science: A bunch of poeple are asked to rate
themselfes how 'lucky' they are.

 _"I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look
through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. On average, the
unlucky people took about two minutes to count the photographs, whereas the
lucky people took just seconds. Why? Because the second page of the newspaper
contained the message: "Stop counting. There are 43 photographs in this
newspaper." This message took up half of the page and was written in type that
was more than 2in high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the
unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it."_

[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/3304496/Be-lucky-
its-a...](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/3304496/Be-lucky-its-an-easy-
skill-to-learn.html)

[1] Well, that's the clichée at least. For me, this is not such a great plan,
as I'm too socially awkward... :/

~~~
TheSOB88
[1] That may be something you'd want to fix about yourself. Just like anything
else, you can learn to be socially skilled. The basics are not seeming
miserable (who wants to talk to a miserable person?), engaging people, making
people feel good about themselves, not complaining, and reflecting all this in
body language.

Just like anything else, practice is all it takes. If I were you, I might read
some stuff about pickup - because the best way to pick up a girl is to be
socially skilled. Those guys have definitely done a lot of research in that
arena. Unfortunately it can be a very seedy industry. There was this great
article I was going to show you about social vibing, something that was kind
of an epiphany for me, but the site (bristollair) seems to have sold its soul.

Basically, the point is you want to be an upper, not a downer.

Anyways, this might be a place to start:
<http://johnleekuoch.blogspot.com/2010/06/social-vibing.html>

Edit: This article is probably better:
<http://johnleekuoch.blogspot.com/search/label/Social>

Also, forgot the biggest shortcut for social skills: smiling! Try to trick
yourself into thinking of something that makes you happy/something really
funny that makes you laugh inside instead of just moving your muscles. People
want to be around happy people!

------
ignoreme
Once upon a time I used to love zenhabits. I used to look at what Leo had
accomplished (losing weight, living minimally, doing what you love (blogging)
and building a business around it etc.) and thought he was worth listening
too.

Over time I started noticing that you could pretty much pick anything
published on his blog and find an earlier post contradicting it. Try it for
yourself, find a post you like on the blog and then google "[subject]
site:zenhabits.net" and smile as you see the contradictions that appear.

Life isn't straight forward and if it was as easy as following simple step by
step instructions the "self-help" industry would be redundant. Life is
difficult, do whatever it is that works for you and if anyone says they have
found the "secret to success" take it with a grain of salt.

~~~
AznHisoka
Why is life difficult?

~~~
jordanlev
A buddhist would say because we tend to cling to things being a certain way.

------
dominik
This brings to mind this quote by Viktor Frankl:

"Again and again I therefore admonish my students in Europe and America: Don't
aim at success -- the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you
are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must
ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal
dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's
surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same
holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want
you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it
out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-
run -- in the long-run, I say! -- success will follow you precisely because
you had forgotten to think about it."

------
city41
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT, a refreshing "new" form of psychology
based on Eastern philosophy) advocates not setting goals, but rather leading a
value driven life. Determine what you value, and make sure your life heads for
those values, the rest tends to just follow.

But with that said, I still personally find setting goals to work very well
for me. So I still do it. I met all of my goals for 2011, and am completely on
track so far for 2012. For whatever reason, setting goals is very motivating
for me.

~~~
krevis
That's a bit oversimplified. The ACT approach is that goals can be useful
things, in moderation, when they're serving your values. But if you get too
caught up in the _outcome_ associated with the goal -- whether you succeed or
fail, whether anyone recognizes or not -- then you're likely to have problems.

For instance: "My company failed. This is a disaster. I'm such a loser." "We
beat our sales target by 200%! We're geniuses!" "After months of work, we
finally shipped. Now I feel empty and have no enthusiasm for what's next. Why
aren't I happy?"

(Of course those are oversimplified too, but you get the idea.)

~~~
city41
You are correct. It's been a while since I read these books. Looking back at
Harris's book (The Happiness Trap) he has an entire section of the book
dedicated to values, and he stresses that values are more important than
goals. But he does still say to set goals.

------
leftnode
Over-committing seems like a bad idea, especially from a site preaching Zen
and minimalism. You'll stress yourself out, burn out trying to finish all of
your accomplishments, and probably to lackluster work on each of them.

The opposite is true. If anything, learn to say "No" more.

~~~
HalibetLector
It's funny, that very same site has multiple posts saying the exact same
thing.

------
Sodaware
I've done years setting lots of goals, and done years when I set none. Even
though ending the year with a list of "failed" goals is difficult, I much
prefer it to not setting any at all.

Building a habit is easy to measure and gives good short-term feedback. You
can end every day knowing if you've done what you needed to, and because you
practice daily it's constantly reinforced.

From experience I've found the goals I achieve are usually the ones that are
reinforced on a regular basis. My personal preference would be to build goals
on top of habits, rather than exclusively one or the other.

------
akg
Goals are important so that you know where you are headed, otherwise I tend to
stagnate and not amount to much. I need a direction to go in. But I think it
is important to keep in mind that goals are just a direction, they do not
define the entire trajectory. Like Leo says, life is too chaotic and
unpredictable. I find that it is good to have goals, but at the same time keep
an open mind and change as time goes on. Things in life change quickly, e.g.,
perceptions, environments, opportunities, etc. One needs to learn to adapt
those directions/goals, make the journey enjoyable and create enriching life
experiences. Of course, all of that is not easy, it comes from deep
introspection about what you want and which direction you want to go.

[Edit: I want to add that, it is also important the kinds of goals that you
make. More abstract goals like, what kind of person you want to be, what
skills you want to develop define a more flexible and enriching trajectory
than a fixed goal like "make $X". Individual accomplishments are secondary to
growing yourself as as person; then again, I believe that was Leo's point
after all].

------
kitsune_
"Here is advice: Don't make goals and find happiness!"

Then, further down the article:

"Do this regularly: Get up early, practice generosity, over-commit, talk to
strangers".

Ok. What did I miss here? How are these things not "goals" or "plans"? "My
goal is to get up early from now on". How is this not setting a goal?

I hate articles like this.

~~~
kristiandupont
I'm not sure if this is what he means but I think to many people, a goal is a
checkbox that you can check, like "make $100,000" etc.

~~~
gk1
This is one of the problems with the post. He is really referring to
meaningless, shallow, and unrealistic goals, yet he does not say that and
instead suggests not setting _any_ goals whatsoever.

------
casca
Perhaps he does not understand the connection between setting goals and
achieving them. The purpose of setting the goal is not a random NYE drunken
wish, it's to assess something that you think you'd like to happen more
seriously.

Want to start a social, location-based picture sharing company this year?
Great! Setting the goal means taking the time to understand whether that might
be a good idea and the implications around it. The analysis is the reason that
people who set goals are more successful.

~~~
1point2
Exactly.

~~~
1point2
Why does agreeing with someone get me down votes? I would have imagined no
change. But to feel that strongly that ppl take the trouble to click down -
why is that?

------
jeffem
It's impossible to not have goals and not plan. The author's suggestions: "Get
up earlier", "Talk to more strangers", etc. are goals in and of themselves.

Whenever this topic comes up, what people are really talking about is the
degree to which you can plan for a particular goal in terms of its time frame
and complexity. The author touches on this relationship. That is, the more
complex the goal and the more time required to achieve it, the less specific
you can get in creating a plan to achieve it. If my goal is to lose 30 pounds
by the end of the year, it's unrealistic for me to plan out my exact meals and
workouts a year in advance. But it's perfectly realistic to have a more
general plan of eating healthier food and doing more exercise, and leaving the
"implementation details" for that week or day.

What I don't like about the article is that the author doesn't back up his
suggestions with anything but personal experience and opinions. There are
scientific studies that claim benefits in explicit goal-setting. If you're
going to make a strong case, you need to address those studies and bring in
some counter-evidence.

~~~
philwelch
Getting up earlier is something you just do, it's not a goal. Losing 30 pounds
is more of a goal because it's an expected outcome, but eating more salad and
drinking less Coke is something you just do.

~~~
aqme28
I disagree. That's like telling a depressed person to be less depressed. It's
not wrong or anything, but it's much more of a process than you're implying.

Anything that is challenging for you can become a goal. I find it very very
hard to wake up early, especially when I don't _need_ to, and some mornings I
fail. Waking up early is in fact a goal I have been working on over the past
six months or so, and I do this by working at it incrementally. Today I get up
at 10, next week at 9:30, etc...

~~~
philwelch
It's a difference of mindset. Maybe you're just over thinking it. If you think
it's a "goal", you aspire to it and hope to achieve it. If its just something
you do, you just do it. If you want to complicate the idea, then think of it
as developing an internal locus of control. But it's simpler than that.

------
TheCapn
Not setting goals is dumb. When you lose aspirations you lose focus and you
lose direction. A better way? Create attainable and realistic goals.

My resolution last year was to be more patient with my family. I'm the only
one from my entire extended family that followed a techie path early on. Its a
pretty damn clear fact that I think about situations differently and it
creates tension in the family when we're having discussions. Taking more time
to work with my parents and simply let go of some cases is a great feeling
when you get along better at family outings like Christmas or Easter.

This year? I'm going to give back to those that deserve it. This means for
alll the services that I use on a regular basis: imgur, Dropbox, Evernote,
Serviio, TrueCrypt, Ventrillo, etc. etc. I'm going to go to their site and
make a donation or purchase the paid version. These guys all deserve it so why
shouldn't I help support them because God knows their work has helped me more
than enough.

Good resolutions are worthwhile. Saying that you'll run a triathalon in a year
is dumb and unfocused.

------
kaa2102
It appears that the gist of the article is: don't plan, just be awesome and
lucky. The article also drips with survivorship bias,e.g., the "good
relationships happen without a plan" concept does not taken into account those
who don't plan and don't end up in relationships. The author could just say
"being awesome and lucky worked for me, I bet it could work wonders for you,
too!"

------
handzhiev
I'm sick and tired of "Get up early" advice. What works for you doesn't work
for everyone. I feel more productive in the evening, sometimes near midnight.
So to get enough sleep I can't get up before 9 AM. Maybe working in 6 AM works
great for you. For me it's nightmare.

------
abstractbill
Plans are useless but planning is indispensable. (Eisenhower, one of my
favorite quotes).

------
wmat
For anyone wanting to effect change in their lives, look to research that can
be backed up by scientific method. I dislike the self-help industry immensely.
One example of good, scientifically backed advice is the work of Richard
Wiseman: <http://richardwiseman.wordpress.com/> In particular, I've found his
book 59 Seconds quite useful. Similarly, I learned about Wiseman's work from
the Less Wrong community, which is equally useful: <http://lesswrong.com/>

------
JoeAltmaier
Trust Nerds to deconstruct philosophy to the point it sounds ridiculous.
Instead of, for instance, finding some meaning or direction in it, or even
trying to 'get it' at all.

So here's the 'Cliffs Notes': Sure, making time for ... whatever, is a goal.
But different in kind from all the other indirect, distant goals we often
choose. Those seem to give us something to 'aim at' but don't providing the
arrow, or the bow, or even a compass to find the target.

------
maak
So, don't set goals because you won't achieve them, but over-commit to stretch
yourself. There's a contradiction in there.

~~~
johno215
Many people have a very (and I mean very) poor track record at achieving their
new years resolutions.

If you know your goals will fail, isn't it better to try to overachieve some
other way that may actually work.

~~~
jh3
People over-commit all the time. Whether they know it or not, most people are
optimistic about the things they think they can do, especially if it is
something they've been doing for a long time. I think new years resolutions
are for people who wish they were motivated (like me [which is why I don't set
these types of things]). The beginning of the year always makes me feel like I
am going to get things done, though. I guess people just need to start doing
and stop thinking about doing, but it is not always that easy.

------
zokiboy
Controlling your daily habits is a goal.

~~~
gm
Agreed. What I kept thinking as I read the thing is how this is all a new
goal, albeit a different one. Overpromise, get up early, and so on... Err...
All those are goals. He says he did them for a year and his life changed... So
is the goal to do those things for a year?

Kind of disingenuous.

------
zerostar07
Or, how to write a point-less blog post that makes little sense in itself.

------
mvkel
Measurable results. They are as useful in life as they are in business.

~~~
janus
This. Having goal allows you to measure your current performance compared to
them. Without any goals you will always be stuck as the same person you were
yesterday.

------
marquis
Over-commit: I have to disagree with this completely - if things don't go well
it leads to disappointment and being taken advantage of. How about 'be
realistic' and 'be communicative'.

~~~
matwood
Maybe the point is to push people to commit properly? Many people under commit
and thus do just enough to satisfy those commitments. I know when I'm super
busy I am also super productive. When I was working full time and going to
grad school I would go days without reading a 'fun' website. I was slightly
over committed, but it drove me to be some of the most productive I've ever
been.

~~~
marquis
It's not me I'm worried about but the expectations of the people I commit to.
For example I've done a lot of humanitarian work and once you are seen working
for 'free' it's hard to have that conversation about how your time is actually
limited. I'm probably still learning how to set boundaries however so my
advice (to myself) is 1. set boundaries, 2. commit.

------
nodata
Without setting a _single_ goal? Is this a play on words? His post sets _four_
goals.

~~~
scotty79
These are means not goals.

------
billpatrianakos
I've implemented at least two of these things by accident and I can attest to
how well they work.

I totally over-commit myself and over promise. I started a business and I've
practiced taking on work that I was not trained for at all and far beyond my
comfort zone and I have ended up learning and growing far more than I could
have hoped. And, I totally delivered and things went great! On top of that I'm
also doing a startup on top of my other business and it's been an incredible
help as far as learning new skills on the fly goes.

I've also gotten into being generous. I accepted the position of being on the
board of a charity (part of over committing too) and during that time I've
offered up not only my time in a traditional volunteerism sense but I've also
offered the resources and skills of my business to help the charity on two
occasions for free and it really paid off in the way of making great
connections, new, wonderful friends, and making a name for myself.

I've been trying to practice waking early but I still haven't mastered it. I
really really need help in that area. I bought Lark and it's been helpful but
I need far more improvement as I'm only able to wake up when I want about 20%
of the time.

