
Present Timing for Kids (2018) - luu
https://www.jefftk.com/p/present-timing-for-kids
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noneeeed
I've been trying to push back on the number of presents my kids get, both from
us and from our parents/family, but it's really an uphill struggle.

At Christmas my son hit a point where each successive wave of toys stopped
having an impact on him, there was just too many for him to handle and half of
them have been barely touched since. It's really frustrating seeing so much
money and resources effectively go to waste when he would have been just as
happy with half as many. I particularly take issue with some of the plastic
tat that people were buying as "little extra" presents, cheap trash that got
played with once and then ignored and ultimately ended up recycled.

I totally get that everyone wants to be generous, and I don't want to be a
scrooge, but the cumulative effect is overwhelming for a 4yo, and ceased to
have any meaning for him. Just so much waste.

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jacobsenscott
The present flood is unstoppable, especially for young kids. Relatives feel
bad if they don't buy presents for kids and there's no changing that.
Birthdays for young kids are also terrible. They invite the entire class and
get 20 gifts: 10 lego sets, 5 nerf guns, 2 knock off nerf guns, and 3
"educational toys".

I think the only solution to to stash 99% of them out of sight after a day our
two, wait another week or two, and then drop them at the goodwill. I wish I
could build an underground pneumatic tube system straight from my basement to
the goodwill toy bin.

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shanecleveland
We initially felt obligated for each of our kids to have their special day
with a party and friends/family over. It became a stressful challenge we
didn't look forward to with each kid's birthday. There's still plenty of gift
giving, but we have shifted to planning a family day doing something fun.
Whether it's just a dinner and movie, fun activity or overnight stay
somewhere, it's much funner for everyone and just as special.

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nvusuvu
One thing my in-laws do. A gift a day starting on Christmas and extending to
New Years Eve. Grandkids don't get the present fatigue of all in one day and
you can extend Christmas shopping into the next week when items get marked
down for clearance. Makes Christmas time longer. There are downsides and I
think my kids are getting too much stuff, but that's what we do.

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sanbor
Naive idea, but what about giving money to charity to undevelop countries?
This kids get too many toys and the problem is that they don't have enough
time to enjoy/learn with them. Here is a more important problem: kids that
don't have enough resources for a proper development.

Maybe every year every adult could take turns to buy an actual gift and the
rest gives each 20 to charity.

~~~
fuzzybeard
I've asked gift givers to instead give contributions towards my kids' college
funds. They have too many toys as it is. But from their point of view I can
understand not wanting to show up at a kids party empty handed. Compare that
to the experience of watching a kid open up a present excitedly and play with
it during the party. So I can see why givers prefer that option.

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asark
Is there somewhere you can set up one of those tax-advantaged college funds
such that others can easily add money to it? I can imagine grandparents and
such adding money from time to time, maybe even not around holidays/birthdays,
if it were a quick & painless process (no more painful than buying something
on Amazon).

[EDIT] and I think it'd be an easier sell to discourage toy-giving. The world
is drowning in toys for 0-5yo. If you're not too picky and don't mind used
stuff you can stock a playroom for a kid in that range from Goodwill and
garage sales (and maybe Ikea's toy section for a couple thing) for almost
nothing.

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mbrd
I have a 3yo and it definitely does feel like a shame on Christmas and
birthdays to make her put down something exciting she's just received to open
another present.

Part of the problem is that my extended family are all overseas, and they want
to see picture messages of her with the gifts they sent! They are
understandably sad to missing out on these events themselves, so use gifts as
a way to show their love.

My wife and I end up figuring out who would be least offended and putting
those gifts aside for the next day. We have to make sure we don't forget
though! We recently found some books on top of the fridge that were hastily
hidden on Christmas day!

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benj111
Just spread them out, that what I do anyway, if we're seeing someone
reasonably close to Xmas, presents get opened there and then, else start Xmas
eve, through to boxing day.

Have to hide chocolate away though. Should last them through to Easter this
year!

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frogpelt
I wonder if this would have a negative effect on the earlier presents.

For instance if you give your child presents over 5 days. Will the first day's
gift be old hat by the fifth day?

What a first-world problem!

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benj111
Don't think so, certainly not at 3. They have prefered toys completely
unrelated to value, when they got it etc.

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pavel_lishin
For our kid's third birthday, we quietly smuggled the presents from the party
venue back to the house, and would open maybe one a night. This probably won't
scale when she's older, but she'll hopefully also be getting fewer presents
per birthday.

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elpakal
Interesting choice of word - "scale". Jokingly wondering if you mean adding
more kids to the mix, increasing age and decreasing agility, or something
else...

Adding that my partner and I do something like this too and I like it. We also
just randomly buy our kid gifts during the year _when_he_has_been_good_ just
cause, and we try to make religious holidays less about presents.

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epalm
This past Christmas, the volume of presents was out of control. Next year we
plan to do a “Secret Santa”, where you pick someone’s name out of a hat, and
get them a present (i.e. everyone gets 1 present).

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whatever_dude
This is a problem I've been running with my in-laws and it infuriates me. It
feels like every year we agree to have fewer gifts, then many of us don't
follow the rule; the ones who do follow it get pissed that they only bought 1
gift for each person and got like 3 times as much.

It's so much waste, and it's overwhelming for all recipients.

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feyman_r
We've gone through the same (first world) problem and are currently
experimenting with the following method -

Our child is allowed to open all gift wrapping. All underage/overage gifts are
kept separately. Out of the ones for his level, he's only allowed to open one
per day. This also only happens in _exchange_ for removing one toy from this
current set to give away for donation.

There are two outcomes we expect:(1) Toy stash volume is kept constant and (2)
Child decides which one to keep.

It worked well at Christmas; let's see how the birthday goes...

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dhchait
Congratulations you’ve invented Hanukkah

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actionowl
I just want to point out (slightly off topic) that I love this web site
design. Simple, clean, and light. Bravo.

