
Gaming the search for autism treatments - chc2149
https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/how-to-game-the-search-for-autism-treatments/
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kypro
I have autism and dyslexia and I wouldn't change it for the world. That said,
I understand autism varies a lot person to person so I can only offer my
experience.

For me my problems in life have never been a result of my autism or dyslexia,
but a result of how people expect or want me to be.

I won't go into details, but I know I'm pretty smart and I've achieved more
than most people I know largely because of my autistic obsession with anything
I'm passionate about. However I've also found my professional life to be
extremely hard now I'm at a more senior level in my career. I can't
communicate well. I hate social interaction. People often think I'm rude
because I don't ask how their weekend was or make eye contact. And on occasion
I can come across mean and cold without meaning to do so because find it
difficult to empathise.

I lost a job a few years back because of my autism and over the course of my
career I've been rejected from countless positions because of my poor
communication skills or being "a bad culture fit".

I'm not bad at all communication though, I'm fine explaining things with text,
diagrams and examples. Plus, I'm a really good developer. But non of that ever
seems to matter. Sometimes I wonder if it is even me with the problem, or if
it's really that people have a problem with me and how I work.

Who cares if I'm not overly social? I've never minded it. I quite like being
non-verbal and obsessive honestly. But I guess I can understand where
neurotypicals are coming from to some extent. Sometimes I wish more people
were like me too. Sometimes I wish I could treat people who think talking
about their weekend or celebrating the birthday of a colleague they dislike is
more important than doing something productive. But you know, I also
appreciate not everyone is like me, or needs to be just like me to be worth a
damn.

Perhaps I'm just venting. I understand some autistic children are completely
not functional and need some help. It just upsets me when people think autism
needs treating because it's probably the thing I genuinely love the most about
myself.

~~~
mindgam3
You sound like a fairly self aware person. I’m curious - have you considered
practicing social skills like making occasional eye contact, etc? Speaking as
someone with enough “issues” (ability to concentrate deeply, socialization
issues, awkwardness around eye contact) that I could apply the autism label to
myself if I chose to.

The reason I choose not to label myself this way is that I’ve learned to
overcome many of my old hangups like avoiding eye contact. It’s true what you
say about it holding back your career. When I decided to set out as an
entrepreneur I was pretty much forced to up my game in this area. So I did. I
can still relate to anyone who struggles with these skills, but I also know
it’s possible to overcome them.

Somewhere way deep down I’m still a shy awkward dev, but I’ve gotten good at
enough at being charming that I can close angel and VC deals. At this point
I’m not even sure if the “real me” is the awkward one. Maybe my true nature is
gregarious and unafraid, and I only learned how to retreat into my shell as a
defense mechanism against chronic childhood abuse, which I’m finally coming to
terms with after a solid 20 years of confusion.

Anyway, I wish you’d best of luck and I encourage you to challenge yourself
(safely) - I really wish more knowledgeable devs would feel empowered to learn
these skills and take on higher level business roles. If you don’t do it, all
the leadership positions end up being taken by people who are good at being
charming but not much else.

~~~
kypro
I think I came across as a bit of a "victim" in my comment, but the attitude
you've described here is very much how I approach life.

You can definitely learn social skills, and almost anyone who wants a good
career needs to have at least some ability to hold a conversation and be
approachable. That said, if you're sufficiently on the spectrum you're
probably never going to pass as "normal" but you can be good enough.

I guess what upsets me is that I feel like to be successful I have to be less
myself. I think you might feel this too based on what you said:

> At this point I’m not even sure if the “real me” is the awkward one.

So yeah, I do try my best to improve. I have to if I want what's best for the
people I love. But I often wish I didn't have to and society would work around
my communication preferences instead for a change. There are certainly days I
get tired of being someone else and think screw it for better or worse, but I
think I'm getting a little better at it every day.

~~~
mindgam3
> I guess what upsets me is that I feel like to be successful I have to be
> less myself. I think you might feel this too based on what you said

Actually, my point was the exact opposite. The "awkward me" isn't the real me.
It's the version of myself that I constructed in order to survive my seriously
dysfunctional childhood raised by a mother with a PhD from Harvard in child
psychology who was deliberately trying to interfere with my socialization. For
example, making me skip a grade, I was a small kid, so I ended up in junior
high a foot shorter than all of my peers. Another great example is making me
take a job closing down a pool from 9-10pm every night during high school,
with the express purpose (unknown to me) of ensuring that I wouldn't be able
to hang out with friends at night.

My point is, my entire sense of self had been constructed for me, but it was a
false one. After many years, a deeper version of myself has emerged, one
that's more true in some sense. From the perspective of my old self, this new
self is "fake", and vice versa. Based on the available data, I've concluded
that the real me is actually just fine, and all I needed to do was a few
decades of therapy/yoga/psychedelics/meditation/breakdowns in order to come
out of my shell.

In your case, I would be careful about wishing that society would work around
your communication preferences. If by preferences you mean "I want to be able
to violate social norms around eye contact and politeness and get away with
it", then I'd say it would be more constructive for you to change, rather than
society. I'd also note that if you're in a position of power, like someone's
boss, or even the prized developer, this puts you in a privileged position to
break social norms because there's a risk to whoever dares to call you out.
Don't be one of those bosses, or one of those developers.

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SubiculumCode
Luminosity and the like very well could have failed or had limited effect
because brain plasticity is reduced in adulthood. While there are no medical
treatments or cures for ASD, the one known effective treatment to improve
quality of life outcomes is early behavioral intervention near the age of
diagnosis (i.e. 2-4 years of age).

~~~
Nasrudith
I am a higher functioning case admittedly but I find that it seems to auto-
correct some in the slow way via learning and workaround development. I
suspect that having higher functioning adult autistic tutors could be useful.

On another note I have found that ironically my empathy is better than many
neurotypical individuals falling way short in both compassion and
comprehension of how others would react. Like wondering why their child is
acting out when they are literally acting like an antagonist in a young adult
dystopian novel (of the overly controlling as opposed to made to fight to the
death for fun and profit variant).

Hell look at sesame credits - that looks tailored to create a rebellion and
lead to a bloody purge of the high credit elites down the road. There was even
an apocryphal old story about the Roman Senate considering requiring slaves to
wear collars in public at all times until they did the math and realized it
would let them know they vastly outnumbered them.

