
Ask HN: How do you make friends / potential startup partners? - colund
I&#x27;m curious about how other geeky people here make new friends IRL. I&#x27;m approaching 40 and I&#x27;ve realized that many other people have families and kids and thus seem to have little time&#x2F;interest in making new friends to hang out with or create a new interesting startup with. Do you prefer to stay home, read HN and other news or do you call someone and say &quot;let&#x27;s have a beer&quot; or do you go to meetups and exchange contact details? Or do you do something completely different?<p>I&#x27;m primarily asking for input from people who are not students but who work and don&#x27;t have a family.
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gyardley
Honestly, it's hard as hell for adults to make new friends. It's hard as hell
for most adults to even maintain the friendships they have, what with moving
around and more formalized obligations like family.

In practice, you make them at work - and that's it, because that's the only
place where you end up spending enough time with others to actually form
meaningful social bonds. I've also made friends when I've been thrown into an
atypical experience with a bunch of other people simultaneously - an incubator
in South America, a long boat trip to somewhere remote. But just going about
your normal life - eh, it hardly ever happens. Even when you put work into it
by inviting people out to do something fun, most adults are busy enough that
you just can't see them often enough for a real friendship to develop.

If you find a decent solution, come back and tell me what it is.

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Mz
If HN is where you spend time because it intersects nicely with your actual
interests, this is where you have the best hope of making decent personal
connections based on shared interests. The question then becomes "How do I
take those relationships to the next level? How do I move it into meatspace or
remote collaboration or what have you?" That's a totally different question.

If you aren't participating much, I suggest you up your participation so folks
with similar interests can get a clue what your interests are. Put some kind
of contact info in your currently blank profile, such as an email address or
twitter account or however you prefer to connect with people.

Maybe put your location in your profile as well and start looking at how
meetups happen and what you might do to foster more HN connectivity in your
own life.

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partisan
I am not your target demographic, but I think this can apply to people with
families as well. When you get to a certain point, you are usually alienated
from friends who don't have kids, possibly from the ones who do as well, and
so it can be difficult to meet new people and build the types of relationships
that lead to serendipitous moments.

I am mid-30s, a relatively new parent, and wondering how to meet new people
who maybe have the same set of goals or priorities either in their careers or
personal lives. It's not easy.

~~~
bowlmite
What are you looking for?

Why don't you just post on your neighborhood Craigslist activities asking for
what you are looking for, whether family playdates or other couples with
similar interests?

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BorisMelnik
Depends on where you are living. I am in PA right now and it is really, really
hard. When I was in Miami I was always meeting new people in startup, tech,
martech etc.

