
Small asks first - joshfraser
http://www.davidgcohen.com/2010/10/28/small-asks-first/
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microcentury
Off-topic: I despise this use of the word 'ask' more than I could ever fully
explain, common as it is. It's a 'request'. Even for business speak, this one
is a particularly brutal torturing of the language.

Other than that, very helpful article.

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brandnewlow
I was expecting an article about how people who ask instead of just taking end
up "small"

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hugh3
And I was expecting an article about how in any transaction or relationship
with a power differential it is the less powerful (smaller) party who makes
the first request.

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TamDenholm
The problem with this is, at least from my perspective, is i hate people that
pussyfoot around, if you want something, please just come out and say so.

A lot of the people that want to "build a relationship" are extremely annoying
because of this, i dont want to build a relationship with you, if you just get
down to doing something then a relationship just happens naturally.

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pavel_lishin
This is relevant to your interests: [http://ask.metafilter.com/55153/Whats-
the-middle-ground-betw...](http://ask.metafilter.com/55153/Whats-the-middle-
ground-between-FU-and-Welcome#830421)

Also, the article didn't seem to suggest pussy-footing to me - rather, it
seems to suggest that if you don't know someone very well, it's rude to
ask/demand them for a large investment of time in order to help you. Sending a
short e-mail vs. asking for a phone call isn't pussy footing around, it
actually sounds a lot more direct to me.

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redwoods
Really easy to forget this stuff so thank you. When I feel the answer to my
success lies with other people I tend to overask. When I am confident my
success lies with me my perspiration andinspiration, and a little luck, then
I'm less likely to over-reach a relationship.

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rdrimmie
I don't think it's just a function of time. 3-5 questions could easily take 30
minutes to answer. A phone call is just such a larger imposition than email
(for many). No time to think a solid response through, research your answer,
start after supper finish after the kids are asleep, etc.

Email lets the respondent control the conversation, rather than the requestor.

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pavel_lishin
All in all, the problem is that it requires instant latency. You have to
schedule a call, and be ready _then_.

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dinkumthinkum
Can we go back to the real world where "ask" is a verb? I had trouble getting
through this. Isn't this sort of something we all learn growing up? I dunno,
seems like "don't be pushy." Maybe the rubrik for small - huge is useful.
Please stop using "ask" this way though. If it makes you feel better, I will
be ok if you want to start every sentence with "so."

