

Ask HN: How many best friends do you have? How do you talk to them? - soneca

I am seeing some recurrent threads about loneliness and sociability issues among hackers (e.g. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5548177).<p>I would like to know a little about HN users social relations, particularly about friendships.<p>How many <i>best</i> friends do you have?<p>How do you talk to them? <i>(telephone, at a bar, at a cafe, at work, home visits, through email, SMS, Whatsapp, Twitter, Facebook, etc)</i>
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bcgraham
3 and a brother. None of them live locally. I talk to my brother and another
friend once or twice a week by phone, and text daily. My other friends, once
every month or two by phone, several times a week by text, and once a week or
so a decent conversation on Gmail.

There's something about people you grew up with, who watched your teenage
affectations sputter and grow and mature into a personality, that can't be
replicated. They know your shit stinks sometimes, too. They know what you're
like when your cultivated exterior fails. They instinctively know when you're
being "real." Hard to find in adult relationships, especially approaching 30,
when most relationships start to really hone in on utilitarian aspects.

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incision
I have 3 or 4 people I would consider very close friends meaning I can openly
talk to and depend on them for nearly everything. At least one would qualify
as a best friend, effectively family.

How I talk to them depends on their distance. Closer means more time face to
face over lunch, dinner or by getting together, farther means more chat via
IM.

Looking at that thread you linked, I'd suggest expanding one's horizons a bit.
I have good long-term friendships and associations born from an interest in
technology, martial arts, gaming and more.

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mnicole
_Best_ friends, I don't know. Probably just my SO, but I idle in an active IRC
channel with 10-12 of my high school gaming buddies. Most of us don't see each
other but maybe once or twice a year, but we've used that channel since before
we graduated and I don't see it going away anytime soon.

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stfu
3-4 I would call friends 0% telephone 3% bar 7% cafe 0% work 0% home visits
50% email 10% SMS 30% Whatsapp

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PeterisP
We've now all married and spread out; but we keep in touch via an always-open
skype groupchat. Otherwise - weekend meetups/parties/whatever at someone's
home.

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eli_gottlieb
My actual _best_ friend would have to be my fiancee. We talk several times a
week, due to our relationship being depressingly long-distance right now.

