
How to stop giving a f**k what people think. - Rogerh91
http://www.code-love.com/2014/01/28/how-to-stop-giving-a-f-what-people-think/
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vacri
I couldn't find a point in the article where it explained why it censored
'fuck' in not only the title, but everywhere in the article body. It's not
particularly compelling evidence that given advice works.

Say 'fuck' or don't say it. Don't censor it - you come off as weak-willed to
everyone, because either you're too weak to actually say it, or you don't have
the wherewithal to find one of the plethora of other ways to give the same
opinion.

~~~
Rogerh91
The friend who wrote this says he doesn't give a fuck.

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beat
The value isn't so much in not giving a fuck what people think, but rather
being very selective about who you do give a fuck about.

I have a wife, and two children, and a handful of friends whose opinions of me
and my decisions are utterly critical to my happiness and well being. If I
lost their confidence, I don't see what the point of anything else would be.
But for most people, even friends, I don't really give a fuck.

I guess another way of saying this is that there are two ways you can end up
not giving a fuck what people think. First, you can be very confident in your
own righteousness, or second, you simply don't care whether you're right or
not. The latter sounds like a very sad and awful place to be, to me. It kinda
means you don't give a fuck about what you think of yourself, either.

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bliti
Don't stop giving a fuck about what people think. Do give a fuck. Give plenty.
Make sure to give them a reason to think good about you. Take an interest in
people. Think about them, for a change. A very smart person once told me
"Listen, and they will follow."

~~~
psbp
They may have been smart, but trite little sayings prove nothing.

~~~
bliti
Tell me, what would you do?

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greatdox
Do stuff for yourself, if other people like what you make they will buy it.

I used to listen to what others had to say, I would get all sorts of useless
feedback and bad advice. It led me to a really bad confidence problem that
effected my work and lowered my potential. When I started to do things the way
I wanted to, I make things better and did better software and writing.

~~~
dclara
Strongly agree. Initially people usually give you feedback even without
knowing what exactly you provide. They don't have the patience to look into
that. But if you persists to show the benefit in a comprehensive way and
really give them benefit, I think they will buy it.

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hrkristian
As one who has checked off most of that growth-list, I disagree with him.

You can't help giving a fuck, you can choose to do the opposite of what common
sense tells you, but if you are socially inept it's just likely to screw you
over.

When expressing something profound (i.e. not just chitchat) I almost always
assess the situation first, are these my friends? does what I have to say make
a difference? most importantly, am I positive what I say and how I'll say it
will be respected?

Saying something correct, in an incorrect manner relative to the situation,
will _not_ get you the respect the author claims. His post is wholly for _him_
, just another all-knowing Oprah.

I went running in the street, stripped down to only my pants, in the rain,
singing it's raining men. My company loved it, my dad probably wouldn't have.

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AznHisoka
Yes, stop giving a fuck what people say. But do give a fuck about other
people's problems... ask about them, inquire about them.. then profit from
them ^_^

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chisto
This is quite simple, but is full of good recommendations, personally I will
take ideas from there to more fordward.

------
gesman
[http://release-technique.com](http://release-technique.com)

Improves all aspects of your life, not only that.

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benched
This "other people aren't thinking about you" thing - I hear or read this
every three seconds. It's a chestnut. Yeah, there's some truth to it...
sometimes... maybe? It depends who and when? I know that I spend a _lot_ of
time thinking about other specific people, and I can't be the only one on the
planet who does. I think this tired advice is more of an "act as if" thing.

Either that or the rest of you are _far_ more self-involved than even I
thought.

~~~
chc
You are quite literally one in seven billion. You could spend all day every
day thinking about a given person and it would still be absolutely true that
people in general do not give that person a second's thought on average. You
could object to any general truism with "it depends who and when" — that is
true, but not insightful. There are babies for whom mother's milk is deadly,
but it's still a biological fact that babies benefit from nursing.

~~~
benched
I know that nobody in, e.g. London, is thinking about me. Nobody is talking
about that. Among my boss, my coworkers, my family, my various caretakers, my
dates, my fellow sportspeople, and my friends - if they're never thinking
about me, then, well, fuck them. I think about them. That we mean 'in your
little bubble in the world' seems to be implied.

~~~
chc
It's generally true on any meaningful scale (i.e. if your sample size is "my
stalker," no, it's not true, but that isn't really relevant). There are always
outliers, but in general, for a general "you" and any reasonable number of
general "people," the people aren't thinking about you that much — and I mean,
why should they be thinking about you all the time?

