

The hidden sexism in CS departments - r4vik
http://www.blogher.com/swept-under-rug-hidden-sexism-cs-departments?page=full

======
mmmelissa
This kind of sexism isnt really isolated to CS unfortunately.

If that guy had called the author the _n word, which I'm not sure I can even
type without offending someone, the situation would have been handled
differently. Interestingly, society will still tolerate derogatory behavior
towards certain groups of people, but not others.

Also if that guy were a woman, and the author was a man and the interaction
were something like "...I dont like some _dick/asshole/jerk* telling me what
to do", then the issue wouldn't be about sexism, it would be about one person
being inappropriately hostile toward another.

For the sake of discussion, I wonder if it is more useful to boil some
feminist issues down into people issues so that more people can relate and
respond.

Instead of addressing it as sexism, I wonder if the author brought it up as
generic hostile behavior, would the situation have been handled differently...
maybe not?

No one of any stripe or colour should have to deal with that kind of attitude
in the workplace, whether or not it is sexist, racist, homophobic, or just
generically mean, but managers/supervisors can be conflict adverse, and try to
avoid reprimanding people in general. Having to deal with the situation is
just more work on their plate.

I wonder these things, because I have my own very likely sexism influenced
"situation" at work with my boss. Everyone agrees that he is being a jerk,
there is no argument there. I also happen to LOVE to explore and discuss
gender issues, but when I bring up this situation or others with that lens,
peoples' eyes cloud over.

------
LolWolf
I'm sorry, but please learn to differentiate between a shitty day and overall
sexism. When people are angry, they'll strike so that it hits the hardest, it
just so happened that it was a woman and the derogatory term against her is
'bitch'. So, please, get over yourself, and report the incident as an
incident, not as a case.

Also, tell the kid to grow up, it might help him in life.

~~~
waqf
And the other part of this is the social skills lesson: [many] people do not
like being told what to do and may get angry, even if telling them was from
your perspective a rational action.

It's no different from how people don't like being told they're wrong, even if
they objectively are.

------
fuzzywalrus
I think pressing the issue has to do with if its systemic of the department or
an isolated incident at an individual level. If the student has only one
complaint against him, I don't know if a reprimand is worthy unless you had
multiple parties who felt it was completely out of line. I think making the
party aware that how it made you feel is probably the best thing you can do.

Also FYI to the original poster: I'm not sure how private you want the post to
be, but just the references to team leaders and fishbowl lets me know you and
I went to the same Nike funded school.

I'm not sure how much anonymity matters, but I was able to deduce this rather
quickly. I'm long graduated and hold a different degree so I don't know any of
the parties but just be wary.

------
gnoway
You can't have it both ways. If you don't want to be seen as a nag or as 'the
next Adria Richards,' don't bring this up with the faculty department head
after a single incident. Single incidents are handled between or amongst the
people involved, or they are ignored.

Chronic behavior warrants administrative attention, though. The language and
behavior described in this article _is_ wrong, and if it happened all the time
it would absolutely warrant intervention.

------
Tycho
Here's the problem:

" _I immediately apologized_ "

Why?

~~~
jacalata
That is certainly not 'the' problem, which implies that her apology was the
only thing anyone in the story should have done differently.

------
ucee054
Sexism is if you're Noether in 1915 and you can't get a faculty postion
because you're a woman.

Sexism is _not_ if you are being a nag and you get called a bitch as a result.
The guy in the story just sounds like a jerk who wasn't taking his TA
responsibility seriously.

Finally, even if there _were_ sexism in that one CS departmenT it wouldn't
mean that there's hidden sexism in CS departmentS. That's just stupidity and
assumption.

Because one female had a problem in one CS department, she implies the same
problem exists everywhere from Timbuktu to Helsinki?

~~~
cs648
It was abuse, using a misogynistic word, in a department where there is
already a dearth of women due to the hostility they face. Brushing it under
the carpet by denying her experience isn't helpful. You don't need to read
this story to learn of sexism in CS departments, just ask any woman who does
computer science and you can hear plenty of stories.

~~~
s_baby
"Bitch" being a misogynistic term is a stretch...

~~~
mmmelissa
Its more about what was communicated/interpreted than the actual words.

Take for instance: "I'm not going to let some _bitch_ tell me what to do" vs.
"Hey bitches, whats up?"

the first statement could communicate that the speaker has issues with females
telling him what to do. The second statement is playful and affectionate.

However, because the word bitch is so generic and well used, the first speaker
could easily only have issues with unpleasant people, not females. Its not
clear.

That's why it is better to talk about a person's pattern of behavior, rather
than labeling an isolated incident as sexism.

