
It's More Important to Be Kind Than Clever - spreadlove
http://www.dailygood.org/view.php?sid=306
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jdietrich
No. It is never more important to be kind than clever. Never.

We have a clear example of this at the moment, with the Paralympic games. The
founder of the games, Dr Ludwig Guttmann, revolutionised the care of spinal
injury in the UK. Until his innovations, a patient with a spinal cord injury
had a life expectancy of less than two years, with most patients dying from
bedsores and urinary tract infections.

Guttmann's methods were resisted all the way by his colleagues and the nurses
working under him, because they seemed wilfully cruel. Guttmann reduced the
sedation of patients, even if it meant that they were in constant pain. He had
patients turned every two hours, day and night, even if they were terribly
sleep-deprived. He forced patients to exercise and undergo painful
physiotherapy.

The results were nothing short of miraculous. Within a matter of years,
patients who were previously seen as hopeless incurables were being sent home
to live long and fulfilling lives. The medics around Guttmann simply lacked
the vision and insight to realise that these patients could be treated
effectively. They were kind and caring people, but they could do nothing but
dose their patients with morphine and watch them die.

Kindness is nothing but a particular sort of shortsightedness. Being a decent
and moral person often requires one to do something that is entirely correct
but deeply unkind. Medicine is the most obvious example, but we all live with
such challenges every day. Do we give our children candy or broccoli? Do we
tell a friend that their haircut is unflattering? Do we tell a relative that
their partner is a philanderer? Often, the moral choice is not the kind one.

~~~
nollidge
I don't see what your anecdote has to do with kindness. Presumably both
Guttmann and his colleagues were all kind enough to want to reduce suffering;
Guttmann just happened to be more correct about how to do so. Neither approach
was more or less _kind_ than the other, but one was more _effective_.

~~~
jdietrich
The effective approach was seen as deeply unkind, for reasons I elucidated -
it resulted in a great amount of suffering in the short-term, for reasons
which seemed futile to everyone but Guttmann.

Kindness is essentially a static phenomenon - it can offer nothing more than a
slight temporary improvement. Clever is permanent and revolutionary. Clever is
what eliminates smallpox, clever is what puts airbags in cars, clever digs
irrigation ditches and makes pesticides.

Kindness is personified by Mother Teresa - a well-meaning person who can offer
only succour to the dying. Clever is Guy Henry Faget discovering promin and
Calmette and Guerin creating a TB vaccine.

Clever goes totally unnoticed most of the time, but its impact immeasurably
outweighs compassion. How many humanitarians do you need to feed as many
mouths as Norman Borlaug did? Who did more to alleviate suffering due to
HIV/AIDS, the hospice movement or GlaxoSmithkline?

~~~
derleth
> Kindness is personified by Mother Teresa - a well-meaning person who can
> offer only succour to the dying.

Ooooh, bad example:

<http://www.population-security.org/swom-96-09.htm>

> One of Mother Teresa’s volunteers in Calcutta described her “Home for the
> Dying” as resembling photos of concentration camps such as Belsen. No
> chairs, just stretcher beds. Virtually no medical care or painkillers beyond
> aspirin, and a refusal to take a 15-year-old boy to a hospital. Hitchens
> adds, “Bear in mind that Mother Teresa’s global income is more than enough
> to outfit several first class clinics in Bengal. The decision not to do
> so... is a deliberate one. The point is not the honest relief of suffering,
> but the promulgation of a cult based on death and suffering and subjection.”

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Teresa#Criticism>

> She has also been criticized for her view on suffering. She felt that
> suffering would bring people closer to Jesus.[1] Sanal Edamaruku, President
> of Rationalist International, criticised the failure to give painkillers,
> writing that in her Homes for the Dying, one could "hear the screams of
> people having maggots tweezered from their open wounds without pain relief.
> On principle, strong painkillers were not administered even in severe cases.
> According to Mother Teresa's philosophy, it is 'the most beautiful gift for
> a person that he can participate in the sufferings of Christ'."[2]

[1] Byfield, Ted (20 October 1997). "If the real world knew the real Mother
Teresa there would be a lot less adulation". Alberta Report/Newsmagazine 24
(45)

[2] [http://www.mukto-
mona.com/Articles/mother_teresa/sanal_ed.ht...](http://www.mukto-
mona.com/Articles/mother_teresa/sanal_ed.htm)

I probably wouldn't have even mentioned this if you hadn't explicitly said
"succour to the dying". 'Succour' is the _last_ thing Mother Teresa offered.
After all, Suffering Is Good.

~~~
wisty
... by how Mother Teresa is usually portrayed ...

------
sbierwagen
Using Bezos as an example of "kind over clever" is a mistake.

[http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2012/0423/ceo-
compensation-12-a...](http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2012/0423/ceo-
compensation-12-amazon-technology-jeff-bezos-gets-it_7.html)

    
    
      #6 “Our culture is friendly and intense, but if push comes to shove we’ll 
      settle for intense.”
       
      Data reigns supreme at Amazon, particularly head-to-head tests of customers’ 
      reactions to different features or site designs. Bezos calls it “a culture of 
      metrics.” With dozens of these gladiator-style showdowns under way each week, 
      there isn’t much time for soothing words or elaborate rituals of social 
      cohesion.
      
      [...]
       
      Feisty debates over what metrics to watch are Amazon’s way of life. “There’s 
      an incredible amount of challenging the other person,” says Manfred Bluemel, 
      a former senior market researcher at Amazon. “You want to have absolute 
      certainty about what you are saying. If you can stand a barrage of questions, 
      then you have picked the right metric. But you had better have your stuff 
      together. The best number wins.”
    

[https://plus.google.com/110981030061712822816/posts/AaygmbzV...](https://plus.google.com/110981030061712822816/posts/AaygmbzVeRq)

    
    
      In some sense you wouldn’t even be human anymore. People like Jeff are better 
      regarded as hyper-intelligent aliens with a tangential interest in human affairs.

~~~
sliverstorm
It's a mistake more importantly because from a quick skim of his lecture
transcription, it doesn't seem to say much about "kind over clever". Why, the
quote from his grandfather doesn't even say that. It says, it is _harder_ to
be kind than clever.

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emmett
Bezos' grandmother was dying of smoking cigarettes, and if he managed to push
her into quitting it was probably worth being a little mean about it.

This is the kind of "deep" sounding quote that's actually not so deep at all.
It's obviously good to be kind, and good to be clever, and in fact in order to
really be kind one must be at least a little clever.

Check the consequences, not the surface appearance, of your actions!

~~~
chc
I agree with your conclusion, but I'm not sure it applies here. Being mean is
not the same thing as being persuasive, and very often they are at odds. There
are usually better ways to get someone to come around to your way of thinking
than making them feel bad about themselves. Making someone feel bad can
actually decrease your credibility in their eyes, because it makes them _want_
for you to be wrong.

Think about great salespeople you've known. How many use insults to motivate
their prospects, and how many use flattery?

~~~
slantyyz
I agree with everything you're saying, but would like to add that being
factual isn't the same thing as being mean, although it can be perceived that
way.

~~~
majelix
"Being mean" is about HOW you present the facts. Yes, this is more or less
difficult with some facts (such as getting fired), but there are ways(It's not
you, it's me).

It's up to us to care enough to be nice and how we're perceived.

~~~
slantyyz
You're right, if you present with malice, that's mean.

But sometimes the facts themselves are perceived as mean, when they really
aren't.

------
Codhisattva
For coders:

"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore,
if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not
smart enough to debug it." — Brian Kernighan

Think about kindness in your code.

~~~
mbrock
Thanks for this insight! :)

------
j_baker
It's somewhat ironic, but I frequently see this attitude espoused by
programmers or other people who are more on the "clever" side than the "kind"
side, and it sounds a bit like a "grass is greener on the other side" type of
thing. As someone who's good at being kind, let me say that it's not always
what it's cracked up to be. Kindness can not only win you friends and allies,
but it can also turn you into a giant doormat. What's most important is
knowing when to be kind and when to be clever. Sometimes being unlikable and
unkind but smart is the right solution.

~~~
minikites
Maybe I'm just really oblivious or quite lucky personally, but I feel like
people who are hyper-concerned about being taken advantage of make themselves
way more miserable than if they just relaxed and stopped worrying about other
people. If you act out of fear that people are talking about you or taking
advantage of you, you are likely to make that happen.

------
xiaomai
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from "Harvey":

    
    
        Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In
        this world, Elwood, you must be ... you must be oh so
        smart or oh so pleasant."  Well, for years I was smart.
        I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.

~~~
cema
Being pleasant is often smart.

------
analyst74
I don't know Bezos personally, but from what I read about him on the great
Internet. He sounds more like a super smart and ruthless dictator than kind.

Another case of "do as I say, not as I do" ?

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pronoiac
The failure mode of "clever" is "asshole." From John Scalzi, I believe.

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theorique

      Narrator: Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've
        ever met... see I have this thing: everything on a plane
        is single-serving...
      Tyler Durden: Oh I get it, it's very clever.
      Narrator: Thank you. 
      Tyler Durden: How's that working out for you? 
      Narrator: What? 
      Tyler Durden: Being clever. 
      Narrator: Great. 
      Tyler Durden: Keep it up then... Right up.

------
wisty
Hitler was kind (high EQ, good at convincing people to follow him), but stupid
(had some terrible ideas).

OK, maybe that kind of emotional appeal is a shit way to argue, and we should
use a more ... intelligent ... approach?

High IQ and high EQ aren't mutually exclusive, so it's silly to ask which is
important on its own. I think a higher-IQ argument is always better than a
low-IQ argument with the same EQ. A high-EQ argument without a high IQ can be
actively harmful.

Empty rhetoric is good for manipulating idiots. It's useful if you have a good
point, and want to make it sound more interesting. But it's not essential, and
it's actively harmful if you don't have a good reason for using it. Low-EQ /
high-IQ arguments won't convince a lot of people, but they aren't actively
harmful (unless you count a few ruffled feathers as serious harm).

Also, high-IQ arguments convince the _right_ people - people who listen to
reasoning, and are unlikely to change their mind when people use hollow
emotional arguments. The kind of people I think we need more of.

------
marcoi
"It's More Important to Be Kind Than Clever" seems accurate, but obviously
(and as this thread shows) it hinges on definitions of "Important", "Kind" and
"Clever", and on context (in many circumstances clever > kind, of course).

It may be rephrased as something like "As a human being, it leads to a more
fulfilling, meaningful life to be capable of empathy than to have a high IQ",
but admittedly that's less catchy. And I'm not even sure it's sufficiently
precise: maybe someone can come up with a better way to rephrase it.

------
bluekeybox
I've read the title as "It's More Important to Be _King_ Than Clever" and
agreed wholeheartedly, then it turned out the article was about something
else.

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lwhi
Kindness is a manifestation of empathy. If you're unable to empathise you'll
have trouble being seen to be 'kind'.

It seems that the article provides an example of how 'kindness' has benefited
a company with regard to marketing. Performing an act of kindness in order to
gain something isn't kind, and the showing potential incentives like this
isn't really driving any important point home.

------
molecule
it's more important to bring your grandmother soup in the hospital than to
point out what she's doing that will put her in the hospital?

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rjzzleep
no it's not. it just depends on who you think your audience is. why do people
always put their own use case as general rule for everyone?

granted, you're talking about making money. otherwise is perfectly fine being
a complete douchebag and everyone still using and loving what you build,
invent, research.

~~~
minikites
And how's that working out?

~~~
mcantelon
It worked out pretty well for Steve Jobs.

~~~
acuozzo
Yeah except, well, the dying at 56 part.

~~~
nsmartt
Yeah, because that's related to whether or not he was a jerk.

Spoiler: It isn't.

~~~
sp332
He refused his doctors' advice about surgery. He said it was because he was
scared and didn't want to face reality, but not taking care of yourself for
the sake of your family seems like a jerk move to me.

~~~
mcantelon
There are likely "nice" people out there with irrational aversions to Western
medicine as well.

~~~
brandoncapecci
_Otherwise_ nice. It's seems more likely that the sick just aren't clever
enough to see what a dick move it is to give up. "Aversion to western
medicine"... suicide... what's the difference?

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Lagged2Death
_I see the reaction to Sue Fortier's gesture as an example of ... the hunger
among customers, employees, and all of us to engage with companies on more
than just dollars-and-cents terms._

Ick. I think people want to feel like they are dealing with fellow human
beings, not with "companies."

------
technology
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent - Isaac Asimov [1]

[1] <http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Isaac_Asimov>

------
davmar
"I'd rather be rich than stupid" -jack handey

~~~
ImprovedSilence
I'd just settle for stupid rich.

------
eli_gottlieb
There's kind, and then there's polite. I'm very kind to the people I care
about. I'm barely polite to anyone.

------
aretiste
who was it who said:

"it's a fine line between clever and stupid."

