

Ask HN: Do you see a therapist? - seancoleman

With such common occurrences of mental illness, depression and anxiety disorders in the startup community, do founders (and non-founders) regularly seek psychological therapy to better handle stress?
======
ada1981
I have, yes. Problem is, therapy isn't much more effective than placebo these
days. Psychoanalysis has largely been shown to not work... There are things
you can do, however. Gratitude is probably the single highest expected value
activity you can do for your mental health. Also, developing a practice to
fully feel and process / access emotions. Happy to share more and talk if you
need.. anthony @ 175g . com

PS - I also work as a coach with high performers and have helped a number of
folks on Hacker News for free who have reached out, and happy to do the same
for you or anyone else.

~~~
thenomad
I'd strongly disagree with your statement that psychoanalysis doesn't work,
just from personal experience. In the aggregate it may not work for everyone
(and there's the minor issue that saying "psychoanalysis" is a bit like saying
"programming" \- there are a lot of schools of therapy and a wide range of
abilities within those schools), but it's certainly helped me a great deal.

~~~
ada1981
It may very well have worked for you. The data seems to a show that about 1/3
stay the same, 1/3 get better and 1/3 get worse. When I say psychoanalysis I
mean it in the classical Freudian sense, and yes there are some things that
seem to work better than others. I read that the average American has .8
intimate friendships - I think having a relationship where you feel
comfortable expressing some of your emotion and inner life is valueable for
sure and can be healing.

~~~
thenomad
Can you point me to the study (ies) you're talking about here? I'd be
interested to look into this further, but would like to be sure we're both
discussing the same thing.

------
jacob_smith
I'm not a founder or co-founder, but I started to see a therapist or counselor
about 2 years ago. My level of stress was mounting and I was falling into
depression. I had just gone through some pretty big transitions, but I
realized it was too much for me to handle on my own. After going to counseling
regularly, I started to feel like I really regained control over my emotions
and decisions. I could organize my time much better, and, although not
necessarily "Mr. Peppy!", I got back much of my spunk and personality that had
started to slip away.

If anyone is thinking about it, I highly recommend it; if you think you need
it, it probably won't hurt. And don't be discouraged if the first counselor
doesn't fit; it took a few before I found one that was comfortable to talk to
and that could challenge me to actually make progress in myself.

------
brudgers
We went to a therapist [Licensed Clinical Social Worker] for marriage
counseling at two different times in our 18 years of wedded bliss. These are
decisions I have never regretted.

For context my spouse is a therapist - hospice, oncology, Alzheimer's and
geriatrics over the past twenty odd years - so I am perhaps biased.

------
rosenjon
Yes. To talk about startup anxiety, but also balancing everything else in
life. I think the desire to problem solve also extends to life issues, and
sometimes this gets unhealthy if it all stays in my head.

~~~
xeqt10
That's really well put. The desire to constantly problem solve doesn't let you
relax and clear your mind at times. I saw one recently but found the advice
lacking, felt like a waste of time and money.

------
lsiebert
Therapy is as effective as medication for many conditions, and more effective
for some. But you don't need a condition or even stress to talk to one.

Yes I see a therapist. I see it as no more controversial than seeing a
physical therapist for injuries, or a personal trainer to tone yourself, or a
coach to train for a sport.

As a programmer, my brain is my work. My therapist is a resource for me to use
to improve myself.

And I want to live in a world where there is no more stigma for having a
therapist then a trainer, and where being in a support group isn't any more
shameful than joining a gym class. Not to mention that being on an
antidepressant should be seen like being on insulin for a diabetic.

The only stigma that should exist is a mild one for people that don't get
treatment when they have an issue, and that should be mitigated if their issue
makes seeking treatment hard.

------
richsin
BTW, if anyone cannot afford a therapist and just needs to talk to someone,
check out:

blahtherapy.com

Because sometimes you just need to get things off of your chest.

------
Mz
I did therapy years ago. It has it's uses. But I think there are plenty of
other things that work better in some sense. It depends in part on where you
are in your journey, good fit with the therapist in question, and other
factors.

If you have genuine friends of the sort you can spill your guts to and/or
people who can act as a sounding board, that can be really helpful. Also
reading up on some things about how humans work can help. Plus learn some
basic stress management, which is often about basic self-care. When I was
raising special needs kids, I learned that a short nap, a tall glass of water
and/or something to eat was sometimes the difference between "I can't take
another minute of this!!!" and "The sun will come out tomorrow..."

