

What is missing from the kids’ internet? - anotherevan
http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/aug/05/what-is-missing-from-the-kids-internet

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anotherevan
I don’t think government, country level Internet filtering is a particularly
good idea, but for parents, being able to avail themselves of tools such as
filtering at the household level can be useful.

I think reducing the argument to simply, “I will hang out with my kid while
she uses the internet,” is Pollyanna. Yes, that is the ideal, but the real
world intrudes.

I did hang out with my kids while they used the internet. We did have the
discussions about safe and unsafe behaviour. They know I know the passwords to
their email and social media accounts and may review them occasionally[1].
They know if anything they come across on the internet makes them
uncomfortable they can come to me and not get in trouble. They have done this
often as they were starting out. We kept the kids computer out in the family
room, in the public family space and not in their bedroom where it is
unsupervised. I’ve put in that hard work.

But you know what? I can’t be with then every minute they are on the internet.
They have phones and laptops for school now. The internet is used ubiquitously
in our house. They’re teenagers now, and I am not a helicopter that can hover
over them. I have to work and cook meals and do my own things as well.

So technological tools[2] that can help me parent are very useful to me. They
reduce the cognitive load. They help me parent better.

When one of my kids has watched too much youtube, they get redirected to a
page telling them if they want to watch more, they have to go jump on the
trampoline for half an hour and get some exercise. I don’t have to rely on my
imperfect supervision and my mercurial mood to yell at them to get off the
computer.

When the proxy logs show one of my kids was starting to search for porn, I was
able to have the discussion with them on about how pornography is
entertainment, not educational, and when you are sexually inexperienced it can
really give you wrong ideas of what sex and intimacy is like, and screw up
your expectations. It helped me to give my kid timely education, not catch
them and be able to go “Ah HA!” The choice on these things should be at the
household level. Sure, educate parents on ways they can use technology to help
them manage technology. Don’t force it down a country’s throat. Few people
want to live in a nanny state.

[1] I’m in the extremely fortunate situation where my kids take comfort in
this, not see it as an invasion of privacy. I do not take that for granted.
(And perhaps I am deceived. ;-)

[2] To emphasis, tools to help you parent, not tools to replace you as a
parent.

