
I don’t know what to do with life - hikerclimb
I enjoyed computer science in school... but I have had 8 jobs in 8 years... I get stressed out from programming... I enjoy talking and also solving problems. I get depressed and think of killing myself.., I have always been handed everything in life.., please help me... I no longer know what I want to do career wise
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protonimitate
If your depression is to the point that you think about killing yourself, the
only thing you need to do is seek professional help.

No amount of job switching or career advice will fix that issue.

If you keep chasing the magic job that will make you feel fulfilled and
content with life, you will spend your whole life searching.

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hackermailman
All you need to know about suicide is it's a fleeting thought that enters your
mind usually after you've consumed a lot of alcohol/drugs, and if you don't
call anybody to talk you down from doing something embarassing, you'll regret
it, because everybody I've ever talked to who tried to kill themselves was
completely embarassed and swore it wasn't them, it was just a temporary mental
illness who ruled their existence for all of 30 minutes or so before they
changed mood.

Anyway, if you enjoy solving problems go work for academia, they're always
hiring programmers, they pay next to nothing, but you won't be stressed
(unless you fuck up somebody's thesis) but otherwise it's pretty easy. I did
it for 5 years and it was the best decision I ever made: working with post-
docs and grad students bleeding information from them, total autonomy to do
what you want, union position so impossible to get fired, you get a letter
from the post-doc's shilling your abilities you can use for grad school. Look
at your local universities for these positions, guaranteed no local student
will take them because they don't pay enough.

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quickthrower2
I think I know what you mean about programming being stressful. It’s not the
code per se but programming boils down to getting something with the
intelligence of a fly (a computer) to anticipate all the needs (known or
unknown) if users while coding in tech stacks that actively encourage things
to go wrong, in a world where hackers are one step ahead of everyone, and if
anything goes wrong you need to cycle up your brain to 100% to quickly fix it
or the business is in trouble, while just being a salaried employee.

Even when working for a laid back company I feel stressed with all this.

I’m sure the same stress is in other jobs. Sales people have their targets and
seem to get fired more easily. Support people deal with irate people all day.

Not sure how to solve your problem but if you can live more cheaply, try to do
30h a week or less, maybe figure out what kind of programming job would be
less stressful, and scratch some side project itches in your spare time with
friends. I reckon that might help.

As for the depression - go see a professional right away. That’s the #1
priority. Book it now.

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octosphere
> I get stressed out from programming

Deleted code is debugged code. There is a fallacy that more lines of code
means a better world. Why not try doing things that don't require coding
skills, and try doing more point-and-click things. Personally I only code if I
_really_ have to and my livelihood depends on it (but luckily I can now afford
not to code and focus on other things). I recently switched to doing social
media marketing for a small handful of clients. It's good money for what is
essentially managing a few Twitter & Facebook accounts :)

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Japhy_Ryder
Get a road bike (I recommend a Cannondale CAAD12) and get into cycling...
it'll change your whole perspective man.

This stuff is just bits and bytes - don't take it too seriously.

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sloaken
I did the same, and I agree it works.

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jryan49
Please seek help right away if you're thinking of killing yourself. Go see a
professional.

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Jakksen
Don't worry too much about a career. Worry about being happy. Life isn't
supposed to be about work. We work so we have money to live. Our identity
should not be defined by how we earn income. I know that's easier said than
done but we are more than what we do. I agree with heyoni, chill out awhile.
Your overall well-being should be your top priority whenever feeling down.
There isn't anything you HAVE to do.

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JSeymourATL
> I get depressed and think of killing myself...

Are you familiar with the State → Strategy → Story framework?

Before you can solve the work/career piece, get out of your mind and into your
body.

Simple hack is transformative. > [https://medium.com/@BogdanYZ/how-to-start-
your-day-better-in...](https://medium.com/@BogdanYZ/how-to-start-your-day-
better-in-30-minutes-or-less-f2d396b0a622)

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heyoni
Is it an option to take a "chill" job and take a break from climbing the
ladder? Programmers are in such high demand, there are places where you can go
and clock out at 5pm, take an hour for lunch and never take your work with
you...as long as you're ok taking a pay cut.

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hikerclimb
Meaning at this point I don’t care about money... and I don’t like C#. I think
java is a far superior language and Microsoft sucks...

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quickthrower2
? I’m sure there are easy Java jobs too. Microsoft is getting less sucky by
the way. I haven’t heard Microsoft sucks for a long time now. Makes me
nostalgic.

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CyberFonic
Sounds like being burnt out. Which in turn leads to depression and all the
negatives that go with it.

"Programming" is a very broad category. Since you enjoyed CS and working on
problems at university, there could be specifics of your current work
situation that are stressing you out. You could analyse your situation and
identify which aspects are stressing you out. Is it the technical issues, the
management's expectations, the lack of peer support, the constraints of the
environment, etc?

Once you have identify what specifically causes the stress, you can plan
changes that give you more of what you like and none of what causes you
stress. And, yes, there is more to life than programming.

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ltmi600
Why do you get stressed out from programming? Where are your team members?
They should be there to give you support. And maybe you are trying to hard.
You don't have to program at breakneck speed every day. I have a feeling you
are being too hard on yourself and you are trying to write perfect code. Don't
do that. Don't have an ego. Work with your team. Allow yourself to learn and
get better, and learn how to take criticism. You are one of the luckiest
people in the world to have the occupation that you have. Everyone else has so
much more of a tedious, stressful and tiring work life. Appreciate your gifts
and what you have.

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d--b
Please go see a psychiatrist tomorrow. You are depressed. It’s a disease.
They’ll give you treatment that’s appropriate. It will remove the bad feelings
while you figure out the career stuff.

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pmdulaney
Better title: "I don't know what to do with my life"

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mhkool
your problem seems to have little with your career and a lot with with your
depression. I suggest that you visit
[https://brokenbrain.com/](https://brokenbrain.com/) to listen to what Dr
Hyman has to say about the root causes of depression. And guess what... if you
can find your root causes you can solve your depression.

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alvarobg
Have you thought about breaking into Management/Business Analyst? If you like
talking to people, solve problems, and have some programming experience I bet
you will be an excellent asset for any company. Good luck.

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hikerclimb
My parents don’t care what I do... as long as I am happy I only enjoyed ai
work but that requires statistics which isn’t my strong suit...

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smithmayowa
you can try focusing on ai implementation then, there are a lot of
implementation tasks you can still do regarding ai with just basic college
level math and high school stat skills.

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hikerclimb
Nowadays I lack motivation to do anything...

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smithmayowa
Excellent, now you know your real problem; motivation, this is easily solved
by thinking hard and deep on the one change you will like to see happen in the
world(humans living forever, space travel, e.t.c), once you figure that one
thing you want to see happen try and find a way to contribute to it even a
little bit, motivation will come then.

You can either work normal jobs(preferable) and work part time on that goal or
you focus mainly on trying to help see that change happen.

Takes things slow though and remember it does not have to be a grand goal or
better you can try working on a very small part of a grand goal, for example
if you are interested in climate change being solved you can help this happen
by eliminating one of the bottle necks that people have to believing climate
change in the first place; access to verifiable data, you can build a platform
that collects this data from goverments and institutions around the world and
make them available to the average Joe in visual parsable form.

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smithmayowa
Here is where that take it slow advice comes into play, also prioritizing all
your interest in relation to your level of interest in them, your skill-set,
and your network is definitely the key here.

It is either that you are definitely more interested in one than others or you
are more suited skill-wise to another one or you are a 2nd degree connection
with someone entrenched in another. One of these should come into play and be
the deciding factor.

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hikerclimb
Another reason I enjoyed college was because money didn’t matter... it was the
fun of working on problems with friends. It was fun

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ale27
Don't do anything stupid. You might want to quit your job and take some time
off. Maybe even start a business.

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autisticmind
Maybe you can work for a while for hotlines. For peoples who are in an
extremesituation. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline maybe? So you can talk
with people who think/feel same and maybe you have a solution for their
problems. Maybe this could be a solution to your problem, too. Or invent a
hotline for stressed programmers. Depressions can have different roots. When
you know its because youre stressed by programming,then dont do it for money.
Do it only for yourself and try something new. I now ask my self, what would
they answear to you when you call them and ask for a job?

And if you had always been handed, maybe you should go on a trip. Go visit
other countrys, see other peoples problems maybe you could solve, go see how
they live. The whole world needs different solutions for many problems.

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hikerclimb
I have lived in London and India when I was younger... I never wanted to move
to the us but did because my parents moved here

