
Facebook suggests I "reconnect" with a dead friend - brilliant
http://scripting.com/stories/2010/07/11/iThinkGuyWouldHaveEnjoyedT.html
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jeb
You know, software developers know EXACTLY why facebook is recommending dead
friends. Yes, almost all of us KNOW that the algorithm has absolutely no way
of knowing that dude is dead. We also understand exactly why the trigger "he
is not posting much" works.

But for whatever reason, when someone mentions something like this, we pretend
we don't know the algorithms behind it. Dudes, you know it's no facebook
conspiracy - they are just using some standard algorithms you understand
pretty well, so let's not pretend like it's some special thing.

If their algorithms somehow parsed the RIP on his wall and stopped suggesting
him, then THAT would be special.

~~~
skybrian
Yes, we know how it works. Someone was looking at what happens in the common
case and didn't think of this edge case. It's a reminder that social
situations are complex and though we try, it's impossible to think of every
edge case.

That's why you need a way for people to report bugs to you, a way to quickly
disable features that aren't working, and a process to fix them.

~~~
pbhjpbhj
>It's a reminder that social situations are complex and though we try, it's
impossible to think of every edge case.

If they implement a tag to show someone has died what are they going to do
about the zombie apocalypse/second coming?

Edge cases.

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Qz
Imagine if there was a method of notifying facebook that members are dead. Now
imagine the sheer insanity that would result from random people 'deadifying'
their friends as a practical joke. Even if it was 'verified' by humans at some
point, there would still be error and it would be a nightmare.

Getting told to 'reconnect' with a dead friend can be mildly traumatic.
Finding out that your friend is dead when they're really not doesn't sound
like a better scenario.

~~~
Malcx
That's exactly what you can do - I had to last year for a friend,

see:

[http://www.facebook.com/#!/help/contact.php?show_form=deceas...](http://www.facebook.com/#!/help/contact.php?show_form=deceased)

~~~
axod
Does it notify their friends? eg "XXXXX has regrettably died" :/

~~~
Malcx
Not that I was aware of, it just closes most of their information off, but
leaves photos and their wall up so people can leave condolence messages.

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jsharpe
You can't really blame facebook for sending messages like these when they have
no idea what's happened to him.

The simple solution is to let them know:
[http://www.facebook.com/help/?page=842#!/help/contact.php?sh...](http://www.facebook.com/help/?page=842#!/help/contact.php?show_form=deceased)

~~~
lkozma
But you can blame them for sending out "reconnect" messages in the first
place.

~~~
whopa
Yeah, it's horrible verbiage, plus it's really rather self-serving on
Facebook's part.

Really this is "we noticed this user has stopped using Facebook, please
trigger an action so we can spam their email to remind them that we exist."
It's not about helping the user, they don't send these types of things for
users who are active on Facebook otherwise, but not directly interacting with
you.

"Reconnect" to a dead friend is pretty worst case, but it's also insulting to
be told to "reconnect with Bob" when you go drinking with Bob every week.
Facebook has incredible hubris to think that if two people aren't interacting
on Facebook, it means they aren't interacting at all.

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spooneybarger
I had a glorious day last year where linked in recommended a friend who had
committed suicide a few days earlier AND the person who many years earlier had
shot and killed a couple of my friends. I wonder what the odds on not 1 but 2
at the same time are...

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NathanLustig
It really is a growing problem for companies like facebook. We've estimated
that over 285k US facebook users will pass away this year and closer to 1.25m
worldwide.

Here's another good link about how to delete and memorialize facebook
accounts: [http://blog.entrustet.com/2010/03/29/how-to-permanently-
dele...](http://blog.entrustet.com/2010/03/29/how-to-permanently-dele..).

I don't think its something that Facebook can fix with code. The social
security administration has a good database of US deaths, but they only update
the feed 4x per year and Facebook would have to correlate it using info they
currently don't ask for. A few companies are developing good death data, but I
think it's really far off.

Other countries like Sweden have national registries that update daily, so
Facebook could try to implement a code based solution, but I don't think it's
likely to happen.

In reality, a survivor needs to notify facebook. You currently can, but you
can only memorialize your account, not delete it. To do that, you'd need to
give someone access to your account.

I'm the cofounder of Entrustet, one of the companies that helps people store
their last wishes for all of their online accounts. It's important to make
your wishes known so that your survivors know what to do.

Facebook is really the tip of the iceberg. Think about your blog, servers,
family pictures and all of your other valuable digital assets. If you'd like
more info, check us out.

Nathan Lustig cofounder, <http://www.Entrustet.com>

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ceredona
Death is an awkward subject for facebook. I don't think they know how they
should be handling it.

This is why I think 1000memories has so much potential.

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spidaman
Quite the dilemma. When this happened to me, a former coworker who succumbed
to cancer. I thought about unfriending him just to make the suggestion go away
but that gesture is just too cold. I'd rather FB provide a mechanism to mute
their "reconnect" suggestions.

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oscardelben
That happens to me as well with my cousin. Apart from the deceased facebook
page that they already have, they could avoid sending messages if they see
that a user hasn't logged in in the past 2 months for example. Either that
person is no longer with us or he or she has decided to give up facebook.
Either way it's annoying for everyone involved.

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brilliant
Think they're trying to tell me something? :-)

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cookiecaper
Facebook has had a mechanism in place to deal with deceased members for a
while now. [http://www.ehow.com/how_5177993_memorialize-deceased-
faceboo...](http://www.ehow.com/how_5177993_memorialize-deceased-facebook-
users-account.html) .

I somewhat hate to link to eHow but all of the other links were insensitive
and given that there's a specific instance here I thought it'd be better to
use something that doesn't unabashedly address the deceased.

