
Entrepreneurs are cocky jerks - SeattleSeeley
http://www.forbes.com/sites/meghancasserly/2011/11/03/surviving-startups-justin-seeley-entrepreneurs-jerks/#more-3851
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j45
I like talking with doers. I like sharing with doers. I like learning from
doers.

Helping people want to become doers is where I find some of this friction
happens. How that comes across can be another point of hurt feelings.

There's a big difference between thinking less about yourself and thinking
less of yourself.

There's a big difference between having a quiet confidence in what you do and
just doing it, vs having to strut around like a rockstar CEO.

I'm not cocky, or a jerk. I'm not a doormat or a pushover either. I know my
shit. I'm just focussed on goals. I constantly read, learn and try. I also
know what I don't know and dont' hesitate for a second to say so. I don't
believe in faking it until I make it.

I believe in keeping kindness and goodness fashionable and am not opposed to
making people cry if they continually make other people cry and can't think
beyond themselves.

Either way if you're truly busy doing things and improving, you're busy not
celebrating yourself.

Entrepreneurs/Startups are like the new Rockband, everyone wants to be one
including the self-promoting posers who often don't have a track record. Ideas
are cheap for entrepreneurs, execution is the limited resource.

Those who have succeeded in small ways know to shut up because listening is
always an opportunity to learn and get better, and sharing is an opportunity.

When you come across people who talk more than they do, it's not selfish to
say I will give everything I can, but knowing what I get back might be limited
to help take something off my plate, I have to go take care of my sh*t because
no one else will.

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SeattleSeeley
I know it's a controversial opinion, and I have gotten a lot of criticism, but
I'm curious if people agree? I can't imagine what it would be like to be a
founder with a "demanding relationship."

What about married founders. Isn't it very important to have an understanding
wife?

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paulitex
I am in a long term relationship with a girl I plan to marry. For the first
year-ish of my startup it was a slow ramp up to the hours/comittment talked
about in these articles. I used to read these articles and feel like I was
doing something wrong, or was going to fail, because I did have a healthy life
and relationship.

But when we started having real customers and real investors and real
competitors.... excuse the pun, shit got real. I've become a classic startup
'cocky jerk' - and I love it. I'm losing my hair faster than otherwise, but
I've never felt so alive.

My gf takes the long term perspective. Luckily she started grad school around
the same time my work ramped up, so we're both busy. She also knows I have a
few years window to really do this (we're 28, want kids in early 30s) so I've
got to give it my all. Make the time together really really great when you get
a moment, and take a long term perspective. She knows, success or not, when
I'm 40 family will be priority #1 and understands I've got a once in a
lifetime opportunity for a short window of years.

It works for us, for now. She has 1.5 years left of grad school. But I admit I
am super lucky to have found her. :)

~~~
SeattleSeeley
Exactly. I'm a little jealous of your situation to be honest. I have tried to
do both at once, but it's like I'm cheating on the girl with work! Thinking
about it at all times, leaving to go back to work, etc.

When I had a "normal job" dating was easier.

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Hyena
This needs a citation.

The writer is probably leaning on his own extended circle of acquaintances
which is likely to be, like him, young and male. This group is fairly cocky
and entrepreneurs from this group could be expected, at a minimum, to be as
cocky. Secondly, cocky jerks stick out more in our minds, we are less likely
to remember entrepreneurs who were pleasant people.

While this doesn't run counter the title, the implication is that cocked
jerkiness is a virtue for entrepreneurship. I somewhat doubt this and suspect
that your average entrepreneur is _less_ a cocky jerk than their reference
group. (Unless, I guess, the RG's unusually deferent.)

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kingsidharth
Jason Friend and DHH wouldn't agree to this post.

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maxklein
Yes, the ones who haven't succeeded yet.

