
Ask HN: What “soft skills” books does your company buy for developers and why? - swyx
Just looking to get an idea of what&#x27;s out there in terms of company-endorsed books!
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giantg2
My company doesn't give us softskill books. There are e-trainings we can take
on Pluarlsight, Lynda, and internally. It's usually about diversity and
communication.

Books that I have read on my own are 'The Coaching Habit', 'Getting to Yes',
and 'Exactly What to Say'. They might be helpful to you. They didn't help me
since my career is in a downward spiral.

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throw51319
Ha why is your career in a downward spiral?

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giantg2
The company outsourced development of the system that I became an expert in.
Then I went to a new system/stack that has no other job options (Neoxam). The
leadership was terrible on that team and there's no career for that tech, so I
switched to a new team/stack. Now I am burned out - why learn new tech if you
will just throw me/it away after a year? The company also doesn't follow it's
policies (to my detriment), I don't fit any diversity initiatives at my
company (so promotion not possible), and the subject matter and tasks that I
am assigned on my new team are extremely boring.

Basically I have been in obscure tech that has no future career and now feel
burned out and used. I don't see a future to my career.

~~~
throw51319
What you gotta do is take a step back, do what it takes to recenter and feel
fresh. Meditate to remove the mental albatross of your job.

Then with the fresh energy, work hard but steadily ("just do it") on learning
a new stack that you think you'd want to work on and is also in demand.

Take it easy, live within your means so you have a cushion, and just work
towards what you want. Sleep is important, cut out alcohol and stims. Read
classic worldly fiction to feel inspired.

~~~
giantg2
First, I want to say thanks for the response.

I'm on a team that uses AWS. I have a couple associate level AWS certs. We use
a little Python (self taught). I think these are solid areas. I need to get
actual experience in these to be employable.

My problem is that I get very little programming time. I'm saddled with
corporate bureaucracy, BS analysis, and other non-impactful work. I want to
make an impact. I want to be an expert.

I won't have any fresh energy - work saps me, then I watch my kid most days
(wife works the hours I don't).

I live within my means, but don't have a cushion. I support my family (my wife
works but does not contribute to family expenses, only her hobbies). I do
drink sometimes (make my own wines) but do not use anything else. I don't read
much fiction. I did read One Man's Wilderness (nonfiction but worldly), which
probably was not the right motivation since j would love to be mostly
selfsufficent. I like nonfiction that is educational like Stamets book on
mushroom cultivation or 'We get Confessions'. Do you have any book
recommendations?

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zucked
I've felt as you're describing before. May I make a suggestion? Get out of the
house. Get away from the kids, get away from the wife. Be alone with your
thoughts without distraction. Talk to yourself out loud. Go for a long walk at
dusk, watch the sunset and walk home. I cannot promise that you'll find the
meaning to life, but when faced with a similar situation, these types of walks
have helped me chart out my _next_ steps.

~~~
giantg2
That sounds nice, but I have to watch the kid whenever I'm not working so that
my wife can work. No free time for me.

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cafard
They don't buy any. On my own, I've bought, and lent

 _Peopleware_ by DeMarco _The Psychology of Computer Programming_ , _Secrets
of Consulting_ , and _Becoming a Technical Expert_ by Gerald Weinberg. Not
exactly fitting into the category, but worth reading if you can find it:
_Models of My Life_ by Herbert Simon.

A co-worker who left to become a consultant took the Weinberg books along with
him.

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swyx
thank you for these! definitely checking out Peopleware and Psychology of
Computer Programming. Appreciate it!

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tmaly
My company does not buy any unless specifically requested.

I would recommend the following books:

Never Split the Difference - we are always negotiating, I use things from this
book on a daily basis.

One Minute Manager - if you managing people this is a much simpler method. It
is like the Kent Beck TDD of management rules in its simplicity.

How to Win Friends and Influence People - classic, but very useful in soft
skills.

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swyx
hadn't heard of One Minute Manager, thank you!

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xueyongg
There are aplenty! But there are two key books: \- Crucial Conversations
[Check it out here in book depository: shorturl.at/adiyE] \- High-Performance
Habits [book depository link: shorturl.at/rsBV5]

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swyx
thanks!

