
It is no longer possible to be polite. - blasdel
http://ellgato.livejournal.com/146145.html
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camccann
This seems to be describing the inevitable end result of confusing mere words
with the intent behind them.

Mistaking superficially "polite" language for actually showing respect to
others will of course lead to those who most lack the latter taking cover
behind thorough use of the former.

I think most of us have met people who are incredibly uptight about
"profanity" but never hesitate to be rude or inconsiderate.

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megaduck
I have to disagree. While it is definitely possible to use the language of
politeness in an offensive manner, there is still a place in the world for
"please" and "thank you", so long as they are sincerely offered.

I do agree with the OP that insincere politeness may do more harm than good.
However, I believe that our words usually reflect our true thoughts and
intentions. If you never say 'thank you' or 'I'm sorry', then I'm forced to
conclude that you rarely feel grateful or regretful for inconveniencing
others.

Politeness isn't simple verbal formalities, it's a way of thinking that
influences all our human interactions. The words of politeness should follow
from sincere feelings. It's never been easy, and may indeed be getting harder.
However, to my mind, that makes politeness even more critical than ever
before.

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smokey_the_bear
Is anyone else getting a huge best buy video ad overlayed on the content? The
close the ad button doesn't work, and I'm on a relatively slow connection, so
it seems like I'd have to wait awhile for the whole video to load, and then
watch it, to read the story.

~~~
alex_c
Nope, cause of Flashblock:

<https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/433>

What I get instead is the outline for the Flash ad and a transparent gray
lightbox background which at least lets me read the text behind the ad... but
still with no way to close the ad.

~~~
viraptor
Noscript doesn't even allow the frame to open. Either that or adblock...
There's a nightmare I have that one day I will have to use the internet
without them - and everything will be covered with ads.

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pmichaud
I agree with part of what he's saying -- for some reason I've always had a
problem with the word "sir." It struck me that people use the word Sir when
they are artificially supplicating, or feining respect like "You, sir, are an
idiot," or saying Sir to a cop at a traffic stop.

I always thought that was particularly DISrespectful, and my policy to show
respect by being forthright with people and speaking respectfully, instead of
signally respect where there is none.

~~~
foulmouthboy
In the South, using "sir" and "ma'am" is par for the course. When I lived
there, it took some getting used to, particularly because I couldn't help
thinking how false it would sound back in California.

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swolchok
"May I help you?" is definitely less hostile than GTFO. I just recently used
it on a group of people who turned out to have a legitimate request. I didn't
trust them enough to let them fulfill their request by themselves, so I did in
fact help them out.

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manvsmachine
This reminds me of what I tell people when they chastise me for my (sometimes
copious) use of profanity: "I'm concerned about what what I say, not
particularly how I say it."

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eof
More true to say 'it is no longer possible to say polite things.'

~~~
sabat
Black-and-white fallacy, isn't all this? Because people can use polite words
to suggest less-than-polite things doesn't automatically mean you can't be
polite. Your intentions will come through, regardless of the actual words you
employ.

~~~
eof
You're right as well. Perhaps 'more true' wasn't sufficient. I basically was
trying to express your same sentiment that politeness wasn't contained in the
words used, while granting the author's assumption that words traditionally
intended to be polite had been co-opted and therefore couldn't be
unambiguously used to convey politeness by themselves.

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pwnstigator
I think it comes down more to tone of voice than the words themselves. Most
people (including myself, often) have a strong verbal sense of politeness but
are piss-poor when it comes to keeping the right tone of voice. Thus, "excuse
me" gets a negative connotation because it's so often said with a noxious tone
of voice.

On the other hand, people who are swearing are usually kidding around and know
each other pretty well, so a phrase like "get the fuck out of here" is often
what people say when they're joking.

