
I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it - pain_perdu
https://medium.com/@ColinHeilbut/i-was-sexually-assaulted-at-equinox-and-banned-for-reporting-it-b82a266fe25d
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koolba
> Three weeks after I’d sent Equinox a request for assistance, I received a
> call from a senior global executive. Without an ounce of compassion, he told
> me I was banned from Equinox — that, as a private gym, they had the right to
> cancel my membership for any reason, and they’ve decided to terminate mine.

I bet this came from the legal department. It seems blunt (and it is), but the
rationale would be something like, " _This guy got assaulted, we may be liable
for something, let 's keep him away so we don't make things worse until its
settled._". Not so much victim blaming as covering your ass going forward.

> In my view, this is deplorable. As the major leading fitness brand, Equinox
> should never take this kind of approach in dealing with customers. I’ve paid
> over $10,000 in fees over the past two years, and I did not deserve to be
> treated so disrespectfully by the instructor, and I do not know why I should
> have been banned. For Equinox to cancel my membership, to ban me from the
> gym for no apparent reason only feeds a culture of victim-blaming.

$10K for a gym membership over two years?! That over $416/month. Is that
normal for the area?

~~~
fpig
If he was sexually assaulted and they're banning him to cover their own ass,
that's way worse than victim blaming as it suggests they are aware the victim
is not at fault yet they punish the victim anyway. An economic incentive does
not excuse immoral acts. It's disgusting how quick people are to defend this
kind of behavior. Anyone who was involved in making that decision is a
worthless piece of shit.

~~~
yorwba
I always find it sad when an _explanation_ of the reasoning behind some
immoral behavior is treated like a justification or defense. I find it sad
because it discourages understanding opinions you disagree with, and because I
think that understanding is important. If Equinox acted that way simply
because they are an evil corporation, nothing could be done about it; but if
they followed an economic incentive, then changing the incentive structure can
prevent that kind of behavior in the future.

~~~
fpig
Very few people harm others because they're simply "evil", this type of
cartoon evil is not really common if it even exists.

Harming others for selfish reasons is practically the definition of "evil" in
the real world. So all involved are evil.

~~~
emerged
Sadism is more common than you're supposing IMO, but agreed that incentive
based "evil" is probably more common.

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blumomo
I regularly went to a gym in Jakarta and tried the massage service since it's
cheap compared to the western. One of the masseurs was male and I confirm with
the author that it's hard for heterosexual men to perceive subtle actions
taken by gay instructors/masseurs. Initially you attribute certain behaviors
to cultural differences but luckily I realized why the masseur kept asking to
continue selling his service to me. It felt very awkward for me too and
obviously I skipped any future massage in that gym. I give my respect to the
male author about speaking up. You can see easily how dumb some of the
commenters are in this thread failing to recognize the value of that article.

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zaroth
Kudos to the author for reporting the incident and going to the police. That
there turned out to be video of the whole incident was very fortuitous and it
sounds like the police have a copy now.

The instructor was fired. Presumably the ex-instructor is being charged with a
crime? That part is missing from the story.

As to being punished for speaking up -- the gym terminated the authors
membershhip because it seems to me that the author has an open/shut civil
lawsuit against the gym, and they are expecting to get sued? I assume it's
easy to find lawyers who would take this on contingency and probably reach a
quick settlement.

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gphreak
I'm sorry that happened to you and thanks for speaking up. The way the company
treated you is beyond awful.

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arjie
This looks like the Equinox Pine Street location (in the FiDi), not the
Equinox Sports Club on Market Street. Not that it matters for the story, but
the headline's off target.

The actual story is pretty fucked up, though.

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WhitneyLand
Amazingly, a comment below was critical of “writing an erotic novel on
medium”, yet to me it was so non-erotic I couldn’t even understand the
mechanics of the assault. Was this intercourse, touching? I guess he’s damned
if he makes it too detailed and damned if he doesn’t.

Separately there’s a thread about Equinox protecting business interests. Even
if that’s true it sounds like a double standard, I would bet they would not
think they could get away with stonewalling so much if the victim were a
vulnerable looking woman.

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lr4444lr
I'm sure I'm going to get heavily flagged for this, but even as written from
the complainant's PoV, the ambiguous nature of consent (i.e. as it happens in
the real world, not in the law books) - must it be verbal, can be it simple
acquiescence in a non-coercive setting - jumped out at me. I would not be
surprised if the yoga instructor genuinely believes, even if mistakenly, this
was consensual. I hope this comment isn't construed as victim blaming or
trying to make light of what was a scarring experience for someone, and I
certainly don't think Equinox staff handled it well.

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dennisgorelik
That story reads like a trolling/parody to me. Read also sarcasm_heals's
comment
([https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15471817](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15471817))
which was, unfortunately, downvoted to death.

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matt4077
This has 100 votes after one hour. It has no connection to technology. It's an
unverified post on medium. And the punishment referred to in the headline is
that the $5000/yr membership to his gym was cancelled.

Meanwhile, discussions of women' discrimination, in the tech sector, from
reputable sources are flagged as fast as possible. C. f.:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15267221](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15267221)

~~~
leereeves
Stories about men who've been the victim of sexual assault are often buried
and silenced. Please don't try to do that.

It's likely this must be "an unverified medium post" because the media and the
authorities often ignore these stories.

~~~
zach43
Why do you think the parent comment is trying to silence anyone? To me it just
seems like they’re providing evidence of a hypocritical attitude here.

~~~
leereeves
I think the comment is trying to silence the story because of the criticisms
of the story, like "unverified" and the attempt to minimize the "punishment
referred to in the headline".

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mkorfmann
Why did this get flagged?

