
Ask HN: How do you fight through the monotony of daily life? - _davebennett
I&#x27;ve been having random discussions with friends and co-workers about life and overall satisfaction. What&#x27;s interesting is that all of them (including myself) lament over the rinse and repeat cycle of work and daily life. It&#x27;s like you go to work, come home, go to the gym then repeat for 40 years until retirement. With maybe two weeks of vacation a year. We are all in our early 20s working corporate jobs in the tech industry and can&#x27;t imagine doing this everyday. So how have you learned to adjust?
======
jakequist
I was in your shoes ~15 years ago. My biggest fear was to become a corporate
programmer for some bullshit company.

Here's what I did about it:

1\. I asked the most attractive & wonderful girl out on a date. Mind you, I am
a geeky programmer and nobody's going to mistake me for a sex icon anytime
soon. Nevertheless, she was impressed by my boldness and said yes. Now we're
married with three kids.

2\. I started a company as CEO. It failed. But being CEO stretched me into a
new role and I grew immensely.

3\. I'm now working on a project that I think has a huge potential for
positive impact on the world. I'm not motivated by money or glory this time
around, but just want to see if I can grow and pull it off.

I guess to sum it up: know what you want out of life and then be bold and take
risks.

~~~
lulzury
> I'm now working on a project that I think has a huge potential for positive
> impact on the world. I'm not motivated by money or glory this time around,
> but just want to see if I can grow and pull it off.

As a new-grad, when I read this I cannot help but guess that you've somehow
covered yourself for the future by saving for retirement. I can only envision
myself not being at least partially motivated by "money or glory" until I can
secure future financial stability.

------
quickthrower2
I felt like this.

Having kids changed this a lot for me, but I don't of course recommend having
kids because 'you are bored'. An alternative would be to go live and work in a
different country, especially that isn't too touristy or western. I guess
anything that completely uproots your life and takes you out of your comfort
zone will do it.

Another thing I do is some side hussle but with more of a structured plan than
I have before. This supplies hope that one day I can make an income without
needing a job.

~~~
AznHisoka
How has kids changed this for you?

~~~
hluska
I'm not OP, but I can share a story that just happened a few minutes ago that
illuminates how having a child helped me see the wonder in daily life.

My daughter is almost three and we live in a Canadian province that's in the
midst of a serious cold snap. We got some snow last night. The drive to
daycare was slower than usual - roads were extremely slippery and it was an
all around ugly commute.

We drive by a performing arts/theatre complex on our way to daycare. The Arts
Centre has very bright lights. With a light snow fall and ice crystals in the
air, it looked like the light shone up in columns in the sky. Lauren was blown
away by it, "See daddy, see daddy!"

I have seen that effect so many hundreds of times in my life that I don't even
notice it, but my toddler was absolutely mesmerized by it. There is a lot of
wonder in the world and, for me at least, having a little person pointing out
all that wonder really helped!

For the love of all that you consider holy, don't have kids because you're
bored!

------
kleer001
This is an existential algorithm that everyone alive has to go through. It
seems to me that you're asking about the solutions people who live in joy have
found and/or made. It always involves a 'higher purpose'.

Some inherited them, some build them from the bottom of a terrible hole.
Nobody alive has been able to create a new one from scratch.

Personally I found my purpose through lots of lectures and research into the
ground truth of physical and metaphorical reality that all humans are subject
to here on earth. Hint, lots of the solutions I 'discovered' and understood
have been well established for millennia, a.k.a. there's no secret. Still,
just as an addict has to want to change we have to find that purpose for
ourselves.

~~~
muzani
lol, my "higher purpose" is just finding something to commit to and committing
to it. For a lot of people, that's marriage, but to me, I just want to do it
better, faster, cheaper.

~~~
AznHisoka
I guess you can do marriage faster if you really want, but not sure if it'll
be better or cheaper :)

------
taffronaut
I sometimes imagine going back to explain to myself as a teenager what I do
for a job now. When you were young, what did you want to do? We are still
accountable to that person we were. As a teenager, did you want a corporate
job and a gym membership? I wanted to be the guy in a massively successful
band behind a mountain of synths and sound equipment. In the end I design
studio equipment for a living instead and play in bands in the evenings. I can
live with myself.

------
throwawaymsft
Being bored for 40 years isn’t your only option.

[http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-
sim...](http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-simple-math-
behind-early-retirement/)

You can move towards a life designed the way you like it. Good luck.

------
docker_up
I have children and I am infatuated with helping them grow, learn and become
good humans.

I also am at a job with unlimited vacation and took 8 weeks PTO last year. So
I make up for the days that are boring with my vacations.

I don't feel the urge to "change the world" and I'm perfectly happy working
hard at work on interesting problems, and coming home to my family and just
being happy, which is the benefit of being almost 50.

~~~
jamieweb
A job with unlimited vacation? Are you a contractor or remote-only worker or
something? Or is this an actual desk job in an office?

~~~
docker_up
Unlimited vacation is common in Silicon Valley. It's not really unlimited
vacation but it's really just a company policy of "work when you need to work,
take a break when you need to take a break". Some people are more effective at
taking PTO on unlimited vacations than others, however.

~~~
quickthrower2
Did you have to fight for that time off? Or did you just ask? Did you get any
grief in the office for taking so much time off?

I am interested because on the one hand there is policy, and on the other
there is social reality. I imagine it takes some effort to make an unlimited
vacation policy work in a team where some people might begrudge other people
having time off.

~~~
docker_up
Nope. My team is very chill. No one keeps track, I don't even fill out
anything and my boss is very supportive. As long as I'm doing the work I'm
supposed to and I'm performing at a high level, no one cares in my team.

------
itamarst
As a preliminarily step, work less, so you have the time to think about what
you actually want to do. "8 hours for work, 8 hours for sleep, 8 hours for
what we will" is a good slogan, though these days it should really be less
than 8 hours for work.

(You can negotiate for a short workweek, as this person did:
[https://codewithoutrules.com/2018/01/08/part-time-
programmer...](https://codewithoutrules.com/2018/01/08/part-time-programmer/))

------
perilunar
> With maybe two weeks of vacation a year.

Why do people in the US put up with this? In the rest of the developed world
we get at least 4 weeks annual leave:

[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annual_leave](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annual_leave)

------
runningsystem
How about trying running, mountaineering or just being outdoors? If you like
it, you can dedicate some of your time to such activities. Exercising over
longer period of time keeps your mind and body busy and in a shape and reduces
stress level. And you find a lot of like minded people in all age groups and
can make friends with them.

~~~
GaryNumanVevo
+1 for hiking. It's an incredibly tactile way to realize your own physical
strength and endurance. Not to mention that it's cheap, good for you, and
you'll see some truly incredible sights.

------
mooreds
Why would you adjust to something you can't imagine doing for years? That
sounds crazy.

Instead, learn what you can, save money, make connections, and then leave. As
tech workers you are likely to be in high demand and could switch jobs, go
contract, start a company (services or startup). Lots of options.

I worked at a job for a few years in my early 20s, had a quarter life crisis,
and left to travel. After a few months I found myself pulled back to
technology, and that showed me that while the company I was at wasn't a good
fit, the domain was.

Also, the folks you work with in your first job may pop up again and again in
your career, so don't burn any bridges when you leave.

------
souprock
I made 12 kids.

This gives purpose to my life. In some sense, having kids is pretty much the
meaning of life. Live would be pretty pointless without the kids. People are
meant to have kids, and you can conclude this from your choice of evolution or
creation. There is an instinct to be satisfied.

I'm only sort of in the tech industry, so maybe that helps. Government
contracting rules put a limit on some kinds of insanity. The stuff that goes
on in the game industry would never fly. Actually, I have it better than that
minimum. My normal work week is 40 hours, and I get paid if I work more. I get
more vacation (due to seniority) and flex time, letting me spend more time
with the kids.

So I spend the morning with kids, walk or drive to work depending on weather,
do stuff to support my country, come home, skip the gym, spend more time with
kids, and repeat for 40+ years until retirement.

There is never a perfect time to start having kids, so you won't have any if
you wait for that. Just get on it. I got started before I graduated from
college.

------
arandr0x
You'll make decisions. They will have consequences. For good or ill they will
change your life forever.

No, but, seriously, I'm scarcely older so I distinctly remember what it's like
to be young and watch stuff feel permanent for the first time. Having a job, a
house, no immediate plans to leave your city, whatever. You wonder if that's
all there is and if it's not why whatever else can't come any faster. You
realize you've got mostly what you wanted and everything else you could want
seems small or like someone's already done it. And you watch the days stretch
and all alike.

So my prescription is:

* Wake up in the middle of the night (or stay up till the middle of the night, but sober). Go outside. Observe that your immediate world isn't, in fact, only what you usually see of it.

* Make older friends, they'll tell you you're full of it.

* Make younger friends, they'll think your boring old man life is the epitome of freedom.

------
tmaly
When your young, you have more time and more possibility to take risks. Travel
and learn as much as you can about the world. Once you have a family, your
perspective changes, so the opportunities you have available change.

If your out of ideas on what to do, try the dreamline activity from the 4 Hour
Work week

or even consider reading How to Get Rich by Felix Dennis.

------
sotojuan
Have hobbies outside of sitting in the couch refreshing HN or watching
Netflix. Hobbies where you get better at something.

------
organicdude
You need to find something or a set of things that are meaningful to you.
Those things will change, so you need to keep chasing things that are
meaningful.

Otherwise, the bullshit of life will be too much...but doing meaningful things
seems to dampen the blow of the natural tragedy and suckiness of life.

------
nyrulez
Are you talking about not having free time or not knowing what to do with your
free time ? These two are very different issues.

For the latter, it's mind blowing to ask this question in this day and age.
There are so many interesting things to try out and do today, you could last
10 life times and not run out.

For example, I love video games. There are endless number of amazing games on
PC and console. And enough variety to never really end. You could try that.
Sometimes I get FOMO thinking about all the amazing games I will never be able
to play due to lack of time. There is a game for every person type and it
always keeps life exciting.

You could learn a zillion skills or engage in creative pursuits. Music, rubik
cube, programming projects, start a reddit community or participate in one.
You catch my drift.

------
muzani
You do it better. In most jobs, there's always a way to do it better.

If you're just doing an assembly factory job, you can assemble it faster.

If you just deal with lots of boring code, you can grind refactoring books and
techniques.

If it's a generic tech job, there are new programming languages to learn,
frameworks, algorithms, plenty of things to do and enjoy.

If you're a manager who has nothing to do, you can find a way to make your
colleagues' day more interesting and fun. You can train juniors, get them to
do better.

Heck, even in the worst, most mundane days, I just visualize text and systems
into images and try to move them around. There's a lot to play with.

Work life is a lot more interesting than even the vacation periods.

------
davidjnelson
I love working on things that get me excited. If the work is interesting it
creates an upward spiral of momentum. Any way you could try different projects
or teams until you find that spark? Sorry it’s monotonous now!

------
tmm84
Two things I love to do for monotony are:

1) Take a random stroke from a pen and use that as starting point for making
something interesting on a piece of paper. Sounds silly but it is fun and I
have had a couple of people ask for them when I was done.

2) Go to a second hand store that sells a variety of things. Look all over the
store and see if there is an item that screams to come home with you (if you
want to make it harder take something with you to donate/sell before going).
You never know what you are going to find and you'll have a story to go with
it.

~~~
HNLurker2
Sounds creative but if you are bad at drawing is over all useles Edit: sorry
to hurt your ego, but everyone's way of dealing the empty hole is so invested
into it(like religiously) and if you insult their way or propose better you
are shattering their ego sometimes

------
stevesimmons
I don't get this attitude at all... Find a business domain that excites you,
find a company in that domain whose culture suits you, work hard to build
skills that help you do your job well and give you personal satisfaction, and
then look for opportunities to expand your role and increase the impact you
have at work. Then your job won't feel like work...

If the job you currently do can't deliver this, then find something else.

(Plus, of course, what everyone else says about finding a satisfying family
life, hobbies, work-life balance, etc)

------
nf05papsjfVbc
\- Consider working towards an early retirement. There are lot of resources on
the internet and you can see if any of them "clicks" for you.

\- If you find that for extended periods of time, you have a persistent
feeling of "everything is meaningless" and you fail to find joy or meaning in
any activity, please see if talking to a counsellor/therapist could help you.

~~~
xaedes
"Consider working towards an early retirement"

I suspect this just delays the whole situation. With additional risks of
burning your physical and/or mental health.

~~~
nf05papsjfVbc
Indeed, this is why I also mentioned the second point. Sometimes, it's a
matter of feeling trapped and getting out of it - which is not far off for
someone being well paid but living well within their means. The goal can give
someone a strong drive. At other times, it's a matter of finding what really
is bothering someone deep within their soul. Something entirely unrelated
could manifest outwardly as boredom. So, in those cases, seeking to find this,
then facing it could help one find a way to accept things or perhaps find a
new drive towards an entirely different goal.

------
robin_reala
Well, living somewhere that gives me 33 days elective holiday and doesn’t try
to ration out sick leave helps. But I honestly just enjoy my job. I think
relating it to actual people and working at scale gives you the power to think
about the direct effect your code is having on people’s lives.

------
potta_coffee
I'm really struggling with this too. Let me know if you find any answers. I'm
35 and just so extremely bored with my work and routine.

------
sunstone
Every three years change jobs and take six months off in between to go
travelling. On the other hand it is stunning to be alive just on its own.

------
towaway1138
To a point, you get used to it. But also, it's an ever-present aspect of human
existence. See Schopenhauer, for example.

------
wsgreen
I exactly feel this way. Trying to go remote and break up the monotony. Only
way to live as far as I can tell.

------
shoo
I spent my mid/later 20s becoming increasingly disgusted & sick of commercial
software work, quit a job & ended a relationship, spent a few months somewhat
depressed, doing very little, visiting family and friends.

At some point I read a lot about climate change -- not sure if I recommend
doing this, but it certainly helps to put things in perspective. What will the
world be like in 30 years? What do you want to be doing then?

I found in my late 20s I started to take a much longer term perspective on
things. I've re-thought my relationship with work: previously work was kind of
a thing i did by default, without really thinking why. Now it's something I do
to generate money to invest toward things on a 5-10-20+ year time horizon.
Maybe I need to grind away at work for 5 years. So what? Not that long. I did
contract work for a couple of years and got a large pay rise out of it, which
has stuck in subsequent permanent jobs. Work can still be a grind but it pays
more than enough and I largely firewall work away from the rest of my life. If
you start trying to save money when you haven't really focused on that before,
that in itself can become a bit of a game. What's a good "move" to make? Move
house to somewhere cheaper. Ride a bike instead of taking the train. Learn to
repair your bike when it breaks. Prepare your lunch instead of buying it.
Don't spend money on travel. Don't buy things, borrow library books. Don't pay
for the gym, go for a run. Don't pay for a new thing, learn how to fix the old
thing.

Some of my colleagues who are in their 40s just work part time, either so they
can spend more time with family, or just because a couple of days work a week
provides them with enough money, and they're far more motivated by having more
free time.

Anyway, enough rambling from me. I'm also reminded of an essay I read a while
back:

    
    
      > My dad went through a period of removal when he
      > was my age and working as a technician in the
      > Bay Area. He got fed up with his job, and figured
      > he had enough saved up to quit and live extremely
      > cheaply for a while. That ended up being two years.
      > I recently asked him how he spent that time, and
      > his answer was that he read a lot, rode his bike,
      > studied math and electronics, went fishing, had
      > long chats with his friend and roommate, and sat
      > in the hills, where he taught himself the flute.
    
      > After a while, he says, he realized that a lot of
      > his anger about his job and outside circumstances
      > had more to do with him than he realized. As he
      > put it, “it’s just you with yourself and your own
      > crap, so you have to deal with it.” But that time
      > also taught my dad about creativity, and the state
      > of openness, nothing, maybe even boredom, that it
      > requires. 
    

From Jenny Odell's "how to do nothing". It's worth reading the whole thing.

[https://medium.com/@the_jennitaur/how-to-do-
nothing-57e100f5...](https://medium.com/@the_jennitaur/how-to-do-
nothing-57e100f59bbb)

------
pwason
I have never been or said I was bored in my life. Everything is happening all
the time, everywhere. Open your eyes.

I work in IT, and I'm the IT guy when I go home, and when I'm on vacation.
Apparently it's also my hobby, since I keep doing it decade after decade.

------
temp26960
Maybe learn a new human language.

------
garygause
...

~~~
souprock
Hmmm, be careful, because this advice doesn't apply everywhere.

We hire old people. I know we have some past 60, and at least one is about 70.
Somebody who decided to "change jobs and tech stack as much as possible" would
be not so desirable however, because getting somebody settled in and up to
speed will often take roughly a year.

------
ArrayList
Work is where you get your paycheck. Treat it just like that. Let it fund your
passions.

Cycling, music and meditation keep me sane. And enjoying culture - great film,
etc...

~~~
tmm84
I agree with cycling. The weather conditions, traffic and even the route can
be different each time you get on the bike. Heck, getting a flat tire breaks
up the monotony really well (also gets me using creative words in the process
of getting the tire on and off).

~~~
ArrayList
Hahaha! Yeah, getting a flat sucks.

With respect to the route: I absolutely love turning down a road I've always
wondered "where does that one go?" I've found some of my favorite "go-to"
rides from that. It's such a blast. I feel bad for anyone that doesn't know
the joy of road cycling.

