
Ask HN: How can i help my dad? - eagerNewb
My father has been working as a networking engineer for almost 40 years. He is exceptional at what he does.  The problem is we live in a country, where things like perfection, attention to detail mean nothing.  Also he is old, which is a big problem for most employers.  3 years ago he quit his job, because the owner of the company  hadn&#x27;t payed him for 7 months. My father didn&#x27;t care for 5 months, continued doing his job, as if he was getting payed twice as much. After 7 months passed he brought the project to an end and the firm maid a substantial amount of money because of his work. He then resigned. My Dad didn&#x27;t care if he wasn&#x27;t getting payed, his work matters most to him and he proved it. It pains me to see him today (3 years later), still searching for jobs and going crazy, because he can&#x27;t do what he loves the most. He started developing projects on his own, yet no one want to invest, because of the situation in our country(riots).
This has had quite the impact on our family in all the ways you can imagine. 
I tried talking to him, yet he has grown distant and bitter. I&#x27;m loosing my father.  He is in dire need of a job and i feel helpless.
======
drinchev
Disclaimer: I'm a Bulgarian.

My story short : I recently moved to Berlin without knowing German. I was
hired 2 weeks after I started to search for a job and I had enough offers to
choose the job I want ( I've graduated law, but programming is what I've been
doing my whole life ). Before this I was freelancing successfully in Bulgaria
for awhile and had pretty decent amount of income anyway. I moved here,
because of personal wishes ( I really like the spirit here ).

Nowadays is really easy to change country inside EU, but anyway I don't
believe that Bulgarian economy is unstable especially for IT. You can also
check out a lot of positions in Sofia and around the country that are in
extreme need for specialists ( my friends still keep complaining they can't
find people, because most of them are abroad ).

Whatever your father is doing if he really knows English ( working level ) he
will be offered with a job here or if the position allows he can even work
remotely from BG.

If you think I can help you personally contact me.

~~~
jacquesm
Super offer. I do note the OP's dad is somewhere past 55 and by the looks of
it you are quite young so your story may not transfer. Thank you anyway :)

------
leandot
I feel your pain is genuine and I am sorry for is happening with your father.
As a Bulgarian though I feel the need to say that there are several untrue
facts in your post - e.g. there are no riots in BG. Also the IT sector is very
strong with HP, Micsosoft, IBM etc. having offices + emerging startup
ecosystem growing rapidly and I honestly have not heard anyone in IT having
issues finding a well-paid job.

That being said I think you can help your father in many ways:

Support him by telling him he is doing a great job of being a father and
caring for his family and profession.

You can help with the CV - I recently read an article on HN about an older guy
in US in a similar position and basically it turned out that his CV was just
not adjusted to the new realities of the IT world.

Be active in communities like HN and you might get unexpected help.

Checkout the portfolios of startup hubs - e.g.
[http://launchub.com/portfolio/](http://launchub.com/portfolio/) \- perfection
and attention to detail do mean a lot there. Contact directly, be creative
-e.g. ask if they would like to have someone helping them with networking for
free one month and they can then decide if they would like to hire.

If you are more adventurous try a small project on indiegogo
[https://www.indiegogo.com/](https://www.indiegogo.com/) \- I believe enough
people from HN will back it. If it is a nice idea I know I will.

If it is not about the work itself but looking urgently for money - try
mechanical turk or something like that to make ends meet for the time being..

Hope it helps, I wish you luck

------
jgrahamc
What sort of networking engineer? Could you post a short summary of his skills
and experience?

------
ars
People in this type of situation usually volunteer. Your local library,
school, or place of worship are the most common.

It's not as much fun as building a huge network, so you have to replace that
part of the experience with the people - get to know the people there, and
enjoy having them appreciate you (i.e. quality of interaction instead of
quantity).

------
LTheobald
So I've got to ask - what country?. Riots and a controlling government doesn't
narrow it down. Is there any chance of emigrating? How are your dad's language
skills - how's his English for example?

What things has he tried? Sending out speculative letters? Taking unpaid
placements (if possible) to get a foot in the door?

~~~
eagerNewb
The country is Bulgaria. His English is fluent. He has developed a project
which requires funding, yet no one wants to fund, because of the unstable
situation.

~~~
jacquesm
Please ask your dad to send me an email (or mail me directly). I will be back
in Romania in early July, I could conceivably hop over to Bulgaria to talk
this over in person.

I've done a few other things like this with good results:

[http://jacquesmattheij.com/journeyman-project-
trip-1-united-...](http://jacquesmattheij.com/journeyman-project-
trip-1-united-kingdom)

And I'm doing a few more as we speak.

My email address is jacques@mattheij.com

~~~
yepyepyep
I just want you to know I teared up reading your post. I dont know the OP but
I have gone through similar situation with my own father and am so grateful
there are people like you trying to help total strangers.

------
smoyer
What did the company he worked for provide to the client that he
couldn't/didn't provide directly? It sounds to me like he should start doing
these projects under his own shingle.

------
taprun
Could he start a hacklab? Find an old warehouse, put in some big tables and
some equipment then invite people to come in and learn about engineering?

Some people got together nearby, got a government grant and setup a building
to do just that. Charge a monthly fee to members and BAM! He's a business
owner doing what he loves.

~~~
jacquesm
Even that takes some seed funding, which he likely does not have (after 7
months of unpaid work).

Bulgaria is not the most rich place in the world and government grants are
reserved mostly for those with connections.

------
brudgers
No matter how much you love your father. you can't 'fix' him.

You can however be supportive. In part that means putting aside what you think
he should do because it's not your call. Provide love without being asked.
Provide advice only when.

Don't expect him to suddenly stop acting in ways in which he takes pride. He
would work without pay again if the circumstances were the same. Accept him
for who he is. Doing the right things will be hard because it is about him not
you.

Good luck.

------
brickcap
What I am saying is not a solution to your problem but have you considered
suing the organization that did not pay your dad for 7 months? It won't help
him get a job but I think it is quite unfair that the organization which
profited immensely from his hard unpaid labour should be allowed to walk away.
I am assuming of course that being involved in a lawsuit would not lower is
his prospects of finding a job.

~~~
rpgmaker
It will, even if he was located in the US.

~~~
thefreeman
even if he is just trying to recoup unpaid wages? there are fairly strict laws
in this country surrounding that. I understand how being in litigation with a
previous employer would look bad to a potential new one but I'd like to
believe there is at least a little leeway there.

~~~
silverbax88
Yes. It will hurt his employment status. Companies don't want to hire
employees who are suing former employers. Not always fair, but it's because
there are a TON of people who frivolously sue their employers.

~~~
YZF
I strongly disagree. He should absolutely go after his lost wages by any means
possible and it will do nothing to affect his employment status. There's no
reason for him to inform future prospective employers of this and there's no
way they will find out. As a hiring manager I would have absolutely no problem
hiring someone who had to sue a previous employer for lost wages and I doubt
anyone else would. If there's a long pattern of suing employers in various
situations that's obviously different.

~~~
markvdb
He's in Bulgaria. I wonder how that fact and the rule of law go together...

~~~
YZF
The probability of recovering something is related to the legal environment,
the determination of wanting to recover and other specific of the situation.
If this company does any business out of Bulgaria there may be various levers
to push there. The situation may also change going forward so at least
documenting the situation and the efforts may end up being able to recover
something in the future. Given that Bulgaria is in the EU it seems at least
worthwhile to try. Sometimes the legal environment may actually limit your
ability to recovery debt (e.g. bankruptcy) so having no rule-of-law can be an
advantage.

At any rate, future employability prospects should not be a factor in going
after unpaid wages.

------
blrgeek
Can he do these things remotely?

Can you help get overseas projects?

Can you setup a profile on eLance/etc where he can get projects?

Can you get an investment from Kiva or another crowd-funding site?

------
fredkelly
I felt a similar predicament with my father after he was made redundant at the
age of 65, having working for large US corporations (working from the UK) for
most of his working life. He spent many months searching for work, at first
for equal/lower calibre roles in similar industries (he was a manager for a
large telecoms company), later just looking for anything to fill his time and
bring in some money. You could argue that he could've tried X or Y, but the
truth is it seems (at least for his line of work) that job-hunting in the
"twilight years" of your career is always going to be a struggle.

At first I thought this was wholly unfair. I know have come to think it's more
an unfortunate fact of life. That said, it's not as if our ability to do go
work just vanishes as we get older. For sure we aren't as sharp; but I don't
see this as a deal breaker.

I'd like to think when I reach his age there will still be a meaningful role
for me to fill?!

------
vayarajesh
He can try on [http://angel.co](http://angel.co) where mostly startups are
listed and he can get what he loves may be. (there are remote jobs as well)

------
dansman
Bulgaria is in the European Union since 2007. Your dad is eligible to work in
any of the 28 Member states without any restrictions. Why did you not consider
this yet?

~~~
jacquesm
Because people have lives. You can't just pack up and leave normally speaking.
Also, being from Romania or Bulgaria is not exactly treated as a preferential
attribute when trying to locate work in other European countries. It shouldn't
matter but it does.

So even if there are no legal restrictions there are plenty of barriers.

~~~
jheriko
aside from that most people can't afford to go that far for work... by a long
way. it takes money to make money.

~~~
rahimnathwani
I don't think it's primarily the distance. It costs less than $200 to travel
from Sofia to London by bus. This is less than half the median monthly income.

However, getting a job in London or another city will take time, and the cost
of essential services like accommodation and public transport will quickly add
up.

------
rwhitman
The connections you're going to get out of the comments on this HN thread will
probably be a huge gift to your dad. You're a good kid.

------
labaraka
I don't have any specific ideas for you but just came here to say that your
dad is very lucky to have such a caring son/daughter.

------
jkaljundi
How about he approaches some Bulgarian accelerators, seed funds etc and offers
to first help them, even if pro bono to begin with. Mentor startup teams on
technology and other issues. Build a network. You build great contacts and
definitely something will show up if he is good. Not starting from "I need a
job" or "I need an investment" but just getting involved in the scene? A
network engineer is usually a good all-around tech guy and as such can be very
valuable to young people. Also participate at events there and help out.

Quite often in that situation being part of a community and being useful can
do wonders to your mentality and self-assurance. But networking is just as
important.

Why not go visit [http://11.me/](http://11.me/) and
[http://launchub.com/](http://launchub.com/) and
[http://www.betahaus.bg/](http://www.betahaus.bg/) and others?

------
blablabla123
Do you have an E-Mail address or some stuff? I know a Network company that has
a lot of people working remote.

~~~
eagerNewb
Yes, my e-mail is kk.manoilov@gmail.com.

------
stevehawk
Get him a book on Amazon Web Services... pay for him to get an architecture
certificate... and try to get him consulting work.

------
ForHackernews
Would it be possible for him to get a remote-work job? That would get around
some of the problems specific to your country, and it might also help somewhat
with the ageism issue.

------
algorix
In times of crisis sometimes is good we try new areas, maybe your father finds
happiness working with something else.

A small business, something that he can be independent, owner.

------
Rigjig
I've been in the same position, as you with my dad. The best thing to do is
network. Put his resume on indeed.com, dice.com, working with rails (or
something of that sort). There are a few cofounder sites as well
(techcofounder.com is one). Rest is all chance, people with the stupidest
startups are making quite a bit of money.

------
hiphopyo
You could always team up with your dad and create the coolest app your country
has ever seen.

------
jfoster
How about taking some jobs from freelancing websites? (eg. ODesk or
Freelancer)

I've heard that these can sometimes lead to ongoing arrangements.

------
slvn
I imagine that him doing computer networking work has been a refuge from the
bad kind of social networking the country imposes...

------
jasoncartwright
> we live in a country, where things like perfection, attention to detail mean
> nothing

Is this actually true? Seems like a kneejerk generalisation. If it is true,
then surely this is a huge opportunity.

~~~
mantrax5
There are entire countries where the modus operandi is finding a position of
some power, then finding a way to cheat there so you can get something for
yourself. Corruption is a measure of success.

Knowing the loopholes and exploiting them means you're the smart one among a
sea of clueless idiots. People get "secret" respect for being corrupted.
Former Soviet block countries are one example of this mentality.

There's a reason certain countries can't make quick progress, while others
can. Culture is the operating system of the mind, it affects how we perceive
the world, how we make decisions, and ultimately where we're dragging the
entire society with us.

~~~
stfu
I never understood why somebody would not find a way to arrange themselves
with these types of situations.

There seemed to be three option, either actively start a movement to change
the system, or position yourself to profit from the system, or leave the
system. Just going around "the system is against me" is one of those victim
positions that make yourself feel good but won't make any difference for
anyone.

~~~
callum85
That's easy to say. If you were actually living in that situation, the
solution would be less obvious. People have home, roots, family. A situation
like that is not black and white. Life is complicated and things are
difficult. Be kind.

------
otec
I don't think your father need any help. You will just waste your time trying
and there won't be any benefit for him.

He is an adult. I assume, because he is a IT professional he has a good
education.

I bet he knows that there are countries where he can get a better pay job. But
for his own reasons, he has decided not to pursue this endeavor. I bet he made
a choice of staying where he is now consciously. Maybe it's not his cup of tea
moving between countries.

Of course no harm talking to him and reiterating the above. But I bet he knows
and made up his mind already.

~~~
LukeB_UK
"Sorry Dad, a guy on the internet told me to be a dick and tell you it's all
your fault"

