
How can I build a fulfilling, less stressful business/career? - srednalfden
Seems a number of these questions pop up every few weeks, so maybe I can get some perspective.
I’m 37 and live in Europe. I fell out of society in my teens due to abuse and never managed to get a grip on the working world. After sporadic manual jobs in my late teens I had a breakdown, and I haven’t worked since.<p>I’ve taken courses over the years on various subjects, and even got part way through a degree from the OPen University. I read for hours a day, and have taught myself basic coding.<p>I’m thinking that finding work as a developer or any type of IT role after 17 years of not working will be....tough. I do have some hope remaining, or I wouldn’t be making this post.<p>In my situation what would you do? I have a small amount of money to live on each month, but it only covers the basics. I’ve had to summon the courage to post this, so please have some empathy when replying.
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jdshutt
thaumaturgy has excellent advice, and I just want to add a few things.

First, having your basics covered is huge. You can optimize how you use that
money by improving your cooking skills and making healthy, delicious meals at
home. This will be a major boost as you work on everything else. You'll not
only save money and get healthier: you'll have something luxurious to look
forward to with every meal, once you have the skills.

Two, if you have some basic coding skills, you should be able to find
freelance work online through Upwork or whatever. The pay isn't great, but it
will help you to grow your skills, learn how to work with clients, and maybe
most importantly, build your confidence. You might not believe you can be a
professional programmer right now, but you will after getting paid for several
jobs where the client came away satisfied.

Third, always take care of your mental health and make it a priority.
Particularly if you're getting stressed out about work and have imposter
syndrome when working your first few client jobs. Remember that your health is
non-negotiable. Do the work as well as you can, don't beat yourself up about
struggling, and don't let fears take root too deeply. If you do your best,
most clients will be happy. The ones that aren't happy probably wouldn't be
happy with anyone.

Good luck. You can do this. Take care of yourself.

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mhkool
There is certainly a place for you. You "just" need to find it since nobody
will present it to you. Be humble and accept (almost) anything that you can
use to gain experience. One you get started, things will look different after
a year.

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thaumaturgy
I've been restless most of my life and have started over a few times. So,
speaking from some experience...

Trying to build a decent life starting in your late 30s is mostly about
developing discipline. You're not out of time yet, but you will be soon, for
things like developing healthy habits and some kind of plan for retirement so
you're not waking up one day at 70, struggling to get out of a chair, and
wondering what the hell happened to all that time you thought you had.

So before you try to take on the big stuff, you fix the small stuff: you start
eating better, you start going to bed a little earlier, you start getting a
little exercise. These are _really_ important. In your 20s, you can still get
away with ignoring these; in your late 30s, these become the foundation that's
necessary if you're going to improve anything else.

Because you're going to need to feed your self-discipline, and rest,
nutrition, and exercise help.

You have to start taking a solid look at yourself and identifying whatever
self-destructive habits you've got. I have a few, as most folks do. Maybe it's
spending a bit too much time on TV or video games, or maybe it's picking
fights with people or being too proud to accept help or not sticking with a
job for more than a few months. Whatever it is, take a good look at it and
start figuring out how to fix it.

Start putting more energy into your job. If you don't have one now, then your
job is to find a job. Set a concrete goal, like sending out 10 applications a
day, and do that as though it was your full time job. Start networking: a lot
of people get hired by knowing somebody who knows somebody. Improve your
skills. Or consider finishing your education, if financial aid is available.

Speaking of finances, get hooked in to some kind of financial planning system.
I use Mint. I also got my first IRA a while back and they had this really nice
graph which showed me just how dire my $0 retirement was going to be. That put
a lot of pressure on me to make better financial decisions, including staying
put in a job and pushing for (justifiable) wage increases.

Once you have a job, you have to do the job, and then you have to come home
and look for a better job. These days, there's no reward for employee loyalty.
The best way to get a raise is to get a new job. You should start seeing each
job as an opportunity to build your CV so that you'll look more attractive for
a better job.

Don't look too far into the future and try not to focus too much on your
current situation. Getting a grip on your own psychology is pretty important.
That means finding ways to remain positive about your future and not feel
overwhelmed by what lies ahead, because if you start feeling hopeless, you
won't have the energy to fix the things that need fixing. So focus on the
small stuff: simple, achievable goals, gradual improvements, the things that
need to be done today or tomorrow or maybe the next day. Don't compare
yourself to other people or spend time on wishes or regrets. Keep a list of
accomplishments -- even the little stuff -- and add to it every day, and if
you start feeling beat up, come back to that list.

37 is not too late to build a career as a developer, if that's what you want
to do. But, that means developing a marketable skill set _right now_ , and
seeking out the right person that'll be willing to hire you. They aren't going
to just appear right away, it's going to take time, so you have to put actual
effort in to it -- every day.

