
“What do you think?” - juanrossi
https://medium.com/keep-learning-keep-growing/what-do-you-think-930ea72d8e99
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paxcoder
Forget about my time, save your own:

TL;DR: Fan greatly motivated by interaction with celebrity.

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oniMaker
Motivated to use the interaction for self-promotion.

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6stringmerc
This is a good article.

 _Four simple words that convey so much: I care about what you think, I want
to listen to you, I respect you, I trust you.

If you work with creative teams, try to use it sometimes. It doesn’t cost
much, and you might be surprised by the results._

Yeah, that's the optimistic version. I'm the creative team member sort of
referenced and in my experience that's a fishing question. Fishing for an
answer that can go either way - either the answer is suitable and an out for
the asker, or an opportunity to lay down some management style "keep you in
check" disagreement.

Think of the movie Training Day. Put yourself in the subordinate position.
Even when you give a praise worthy response, it's at the whim of the leader.
YMMV.

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6d0debc071
It's not that simple. Good communication is not about treating everyone the
same.

"What do you think?"

Nine times out of ten, on non-trivial issues, I think that we shouldn't be
making this decision here and now. The fact that you're prepared to just take
an opinion (generally I have several things I can think of, none of which are
held particularly strongly yet) without weighing up the pros and cons is
somewhat terrifying to me.

I think: 'You're asking for my opinion of something important. And this is
just not the way that one communicates on important issues - it's not
professional. I will write you something, backed by appropriate research that
will let me take a better guess at what's going on, so that we can make a good
decision rather than us just pulling the decision out of our arse here and
now.'

Sure, I'll meet you half way. Trivial issues, sure - simple question, simple
answer. Complex issues? Brief me on what the meeting's going to be about
beforehand and I'll put in some background reading first, we can hopefully
have a decent discussion once everyone's done their homework. But... it's not
a matter of just asking the question. There's significant investment in
working well together there on both sides - in getting to know me, me getting
to know you... us having that good working relationship that makes the
question relevant and likely to be answered well.

These sorts of articles are a bit like an iceberg; a little bit above the
water, lots beneath. Or the old, 'Elephant in a room surrounded by blind men.'

If you want to know what someone thinks, yeah ask them. But... you can't
_just_ ask someone the question and expect appropriate or desired output to
magically appear. It relies on good relationships, correct incentives, certain
power distributions, the people involved communicating in the right style, and
so on...

If you know your teams, then getting input is not particularly difficult. You
note how different people like to be treated and what seems to bring out the
best in them. You've talked to them a lot, you've helped them develop their
skills and careers. If you don't, then you end up with this sort of
generalised response to something that worked for you.

The question asked to someone else, and the manner it was asked in, may very
well be entirely different. That's what gifted communicators do - not just pop
magical questions but alter the way they're communicating to get the best out
of people who are very different in the ways they think.

