
Grouper Sets You Up With Three Facebook Strangers, But ‘It’s Not a Date’ - anto210
http://www.betabeat.com/2011/09/08/grouper-sets-you-up-with-three-facebook-strangers-but-its-not-a-date/
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abbasmehdi
This idea is really good! (I'm socially average I would say, more on the
outgoing side, and I see my friends totally going for this. If I think of 10
friends randomly (single or otherwise), and give them $20 credit towards
either eHarmony or this, I see them all - except maybe one or two who are
aggressively looking for a relationship, choosing Grouper). However, if I
think of 10 random friends of mine from those whom I think are most likely to
join a dating site - 9/10 of those would go for eHarmony or something because
they are looking to get in a relationship and not just play around. Bravo! You
just have one thing to look out for - mismatched expectations. I think females
will like this more than males because they will feel more secure and they
like to get input from girlfriends generally.

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ChuckMcM
This will be a success. One of the things our church has done is something
called 'dinner for 7' which is a system whereby people opt in that they are
interested in meeting new people, and the church sets up a group of 7 who then
agree to meet and have some dinners together (nominally hosted from house to
house). It really helps you meet folks, interact and engage with them. It
'forces' what would otherwise have to be a very random event (you found
yourself in a group they were in at some social event).

~~~
ohashi
Why 7? I hate odd numbers of peoples in groups, most people tend to pair off
in their conversation sitting at a table in my experience. If you're the odd
man/woman out... it's awkward.

~~~
snprbob86
I've found that odd numbers tend to keep the conversation going. If the odd
person is remotely assertive, they will interject to avoid being left out.
This keeps the conversation moving from topic to topic without getting stuck
with two people talking past each other.

~~~
revorad
I've found that, regardless of odd or even numbers, I am often the only one
not talking to anyone at the table. I'm not awkward or too shy, but I guess
sometimes I'm not assertive enough or I just like listening in to other
conversations more.

~~~
dspillett
I used to think the same. But watch everyone else: aside from the really
confident/pushy/needy types there are times for everyone when they are "out of
the loop" a bit too. You just don't notice so much as you are either in a
conversation (or actively listening to one) at the time. Also you may mistake
someone else listening in attentively as someone being an actively interested
party in the dynamic where they are in fact listening in because it is the
best way at the time not to be out of all conversations.

The old adage "you are not as lonely as you think you are" (replace lonely
with ignored/unhappy/bored/whatever) tends to be wrong (IMO), but "other
people are just as out of it as you are" is generally true. The world would be
more content in general if more people realised this: a lot of depression and
anger tends to be magnified by the feeling that _everyone_ else is having a
better time of it when that often is not the case.

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lallysingh
For the record, the "Auction House" is something my buddies & I refer to as
the "Vampire Cougar Bar."

The place has fancy red velvet furniture, oil portraits on the wall, and a
dark feel. It's sometimes full of older women who seem to be looking for
younger men. We don't fill that bill anymore, but sometimes someone younger
friends can be suckered^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hconvinced into coming along. Good
times, good times.

Decent scotch selection. Not great, but workable.

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biot

      > We took our $400 travel reimbursement check from YC and
      > used that as seed capital for Grouper
    

I once returned a book to Amazon. If I used that money to fund a startup, it'd
be rather disingenuous to call that Amazon-funded. Makes for a good headline
though.

That aside, it sounds like a fantastic idea.

~~~
metellus

      > Co-founders Jerry Guo and Michael Waxman like to joke
      > that Grouper is a Y Combinator-funded startup.
    

They're not actually claiming to be funded by Y Combinator. Betabeat's
headline didn't mention YC either.

~~~
biot
The HN title used to be: "YC-Funded Despite Rejection". It has since been
updated to match the Betabeat headline.

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EREFUNDO
This has the potential to go viral. $20 with free drinks is not bad. Initially
it might be awkward but I feel that if the matching is good enough connections
can start easily. I would add that they send each participant a summary of
each other's profile if they haven't already thought about it. This will give
all parties some insight and tool to start a productive conversation.

~~~
patrickyeon
> I would add that they send each participant a summary of each other's
> profile

I would be okay if they don't. Privacy matters aside, it lets everyone present
themselves at the meet-up as they want to, and not be judged by some small
sampling of pictures or posts on their profile.

~~~
amirmc
Actually, I think these are both valid approaches and it's a decision the
company has to make.

In this case, I can see how _not_ sharing that info would make for a more
exciting experience. e.g some magical algorithm paired me and my friends up
with random other folks. I'd go along just to see how well it worked.

~~~
EREFUNDO
True. I think the company will figure this out by the time they have enough
information from their beta users. It's really difficult to predict how people
will react to a new environment because we often assume we know what we will
do on certain situations. I have surprised myself a few times on how I reacted
to new situations.

~~~
amirmc
Also, the way they're currently doing it would probably attract the more
adventurous users anyway (since there are more unknowns). On balance, I think
that's likely to be a better approach for them.

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jules
So it's not a date, but you do have to have 3 men and 3 women? If it's not a
date, then why the gender requirement? And why match on attractiveness?

If it is a date but for whatever reason they don't want to say so (I'm
guessing because of the social stigma around online dating in some circles --
check out the description of Blendr: it's exactly like Grindr but it's totally
different), what about gay people?

~~~
timsally
_So it's not a date, but you do have to have 3 men and 3 women? If it's not a
date, then why the gender requirement? And why match on attractiveness?_

Because when the average person wants to have fun, he or she usually is
looking for a gender balanced group with attractiveness levels similar to
him/her. Even a tangential experience with greek life or the party scene while
in college gives you a pretty good feel for why this is the case. There's
actually significant strategy and human capital that gets devoted to achieving
a gender balance for your average college event.

~~~
drivebyacct2
> he or she usually is looking for a gender balanced group with attractiveness
> levels similar to him/her

is this really the case? I mean, it's hard enough for me to find other gay
guys, but if even heterosexuals are established in a forced equal balance
solely based on gender... what hope have I?

~~~
timsally
I have no idea whether gay people prefer a gender balanced group and didn't
mean to speak for them in my original comment. I was commenting on the average
social event; the gay population, while sizable, does not represent the
average case. Of course this means there is an opportunity for arbitrage if a
main player neglects the gay community, and Grouper may well be doing just
that.

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akent
" “Lol,” he wrote " ...

What has happened to journalism.

~~~
nitashatiku
That was supposed to be funny! But I guess the real LOL is on journalism.

------
prpon
That article is a great example on a startup providing a compelling story for
coverage by media. I don't doubt that they used the 400$ given by YC for
Grouper but the 400$ probably was not the limiting factor.

~~~
dools
Yeah and it was a reimbursement :) That was the most idiotic part of the
story. Cool idea though. More power to 'em.

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StrawberryFrog
"The Grouper algorithm mines your friend graph, ... and then sets you up with
someone of the opposite sex whom you're not Facebook friends with"

... That is the ex that I don't want to see.

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EREFUNDO
This platform could potentially take social networking to the next level,
getting strangers with similar interest to actually meet. And not just on a
dating/adult level, but on a wholesome and casual scenario. People don't do
this because of our social and cognitive limitations. I guess having an
algorithm to do the picks takes out that awkward task. They say that a
stranger is a friend you just haven't met yet, well, we will find out.

~~~
tryitnow
Yes, I would be a lot more into social networking if there was an opportunity
to actually meet new people. However, I am still confused by the gender
requirements.

What exactly is this if it's not a date? Or kinda a date? Or "something that
might be possibly misconstrued as a date"?

~~~
EREFUNDO
I guess calling it "not a date" will create a more casual and less awkward
environment where people can meet and connect. But it's quite obvious that the
3 male and 3 female set up is designed to match up people of the opposite sex.

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rmason
First I thought if they base it on just your Facebook profile alone it's going
to be pretty weak match.

But then thinking back to the dating sites I've tried where the match was poor
anyway I thought maybe I'll give it a chance.

Most dating sites don't live up to the promise of a perfect match so you might
as well opt for a quick one ;<).

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ByteMuse
Good for them! Bootstrapping at its finest.

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teletele
Sounds like a great idea, but no matter the temptation I can't get the courage
to give third parties complete access to my FB profile. Is there anyway you
could have "access all photos" to "access profile photos", or put some sort of
limitations on what you access?

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samstave
Ill never have a facebook account, but that is a killer idea.

~~~
rokhayakebe
I agree. This is the first time in one year I wish I had a FB account.

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huhtenberg
Forget the triple date part, look at this -

    
    
      We applied to YC with paperbuff.com. In the 36 hours before   
      our interview, we ditched paperbuff and built qomments.com, 
      were rejected, then decided to build a product people would 
      actually want
    

I am sorry, but this is _ridiculous_. This is not only a waste of everyone's
time in YC, but it also takes away an opportunity from other people who could
have pitched in their place. There is really nothing "LOL" about it.

~~~
amirmc
pg's said many times that they primarily look at the people rather than the
idea. It probably wasn't (just) paperbuff that got them to the interview
stage. Just sayin.

~~~
huhtenberg
Well, it doesn't matter. Do you think it makes much sense to invest in people
who decide to pitch an idea that is not even 2 days old? Or rather - in people
who think it's acceptable to do that? Hm.

~~~
djb_hackernews
Didn't the reddit team get accepted without an idea? I mean, in your terms
their idea hadn't even be thought of yet.

It's about the people, not the idea.

~~~
adamtmca
SMS food ordering, iirc.

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cienrak
So this is a triple "non date"? That sounds like it has a lot of potential to
be awkward. What kind of social engineering goes into picking the people?

~~~
davidw
A group of people sure beats "... was last seen alive leaving the bar with ...
who she met on blahblah.com".

