
I am afraid to succeed. Help. - iamafraid
tl;dr: killer idea, if I take money, wife undeservedly will take 50%, so, I'm not sure if I want to launch the killer idea.<p>For the last few years I've been involved in a loveless marriage. On the surface, everything looks fine to my family, but, I hear the phone calls all the time:<p><pre><code>  "If I had the money, I'd leave him."
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I don't believe she's cheated on me and when approached, she denies it, says things are fine, I know they aren't. I'm a meal ticket, plain and simple. Years ago when I wanted to branch out and diversify into a few non-Internet related things, I was told:<p><pre><code>  "Whatever you do, you're on your own."
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Without the support of a significant other in a relationship and the constant reminders that the household needs cash, I'm unable to work on some projects that I know could be successful as she's not willing to endure lean times.<p>I'm in a lean time now. A client broke a contract, I'm in a rough financial situation that will resolve itself shortly when I can renegotiate one of my supplier contracts at its renewal date.<p>I'm an idea man that can execute. I've launched a number of projects that have all been somewhat profitable - at least to the point of making sure there was food on the table. Never a home-run type project that brought in tons of extra cash, but, we've lived pretty well - or so I thought.<p>I've worked hard. I haven't had a vacation or day off in years. I feel that my wife must have been George Michael's ex-wife and was the inspiration for 'Everything She Wants'. My life is wake up, code, sleep. She works at a salon, earning 'her money'. She drives a considerable distance, I pay for gas, tolls, etc and as near as I can tell, she is paid on commission only. But it is social time among the people as there isn't much business. When she's done with her day, she goes to play cards with her other friends. We have dinner together perhaps two nights per week.<p>I've had an idea for an Android and IPhone app that I've sat on for almost two years. It would change the world. I've got clients that could get it to the right people and the timing is probably getting close. Technology tomorrow will probably solve many of the problems the concept has now.<p>I've got another idea that I believe will take off that I've been mulling over since the late 80s. Technology has become ubiquitous enough and society has probably come far enough to accept the concept. Since the 80s, I've seen exactly two implementations of the concept - one using nametags back in the early 90s, the other just recently doing it with stored value RF cards.<p>I've got dozens of others, all in various states - only needing time and effort to complete.<p>But, none of those are the idea that I've spent the last few weeks refining and tweaking. I have a small group of people I bounce ideas off of and usually the response I get is blahse. This idea has a client calling me all hours of the day and night asking if I've thought of this or that, can it do this, will it do that. Another client is asking for capabilities that I've thought about and documented.<p><pre><code>  "This idea is going to change social photo sharing."
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I have three scenarios in mind:<p>1) launches, doesn't get much uptake but becomes somewhat popular.
2) launches, gets wildly popular, becomes a talent acquisition.
3) launches, gets wildly popular, is bought by 'BigCo' and incorporated into their product.<p>Two of those three have an outcome that scares me. I've always said, if I won the lottery I would give my wife half immediately. If she stayed with me, I would know she loved me. If given that choice today, she will take her 50% and leave.<p>That's my money. She hasn't contributed a dime to the household in almost fourteen years. She pays the bills from my payroll check every month, but, our fridge sees nothing but Coke cans. Our two shared meals a week are takeout from the Chinese restaurant or Subway - and I really hate Chinese food.<p>I have a few investors practically harassing me to take their money on several ideas I've pitched in casual conversation. I've always avoided their direct questions or asked them, "Why me? Why my idea?" and that is usually enough to styme them until the next time we meet.<p>I have a $25m idea by conservative estimates. Two clients claim the idea should get a much higher valuation based on so many things that have gotten funding that don't have a business model figured out. I can't afford to build something without knowing there is cash coming in quickly, so my ideas are usually fairly safe.<p>The dilemma:<p>I have a prototype. I have the Android app almost working. I have most of the issues on the frontend figured out. I have the IPhone app working in the emulator. I have a public beta scheduled for later this month with a few people and I've been told to make sure I'm ready for 'a heap of people' to start using it. I know the few investors are going to become quite aggressive.<p>I'm ambivalent about the marriage. I married a rich girl, I came from a poor family. I didn't listen to my family, she didn't listen to hers. Her family cut her off from her trust fund when she married me - it isn't enough for her to live on. I've never wanted her money and I've worked my butt off for everything I've had. I still see her rich girl tendencies - intentionally breaking things so she can have a reason to buy a replacement, etc. But, I know the minute I get a large cash infusion and start growing this thing, it'll be noticed and the time will be right. I suspect the company would get significant investments in 6-8 months which would allow her to cash out with her golden parachute.<p>Yes, I could take steps to protect the money, move it offshore, keep it in the business, hide and shuffle it, but, that isn't ethical. Even though she's going to be out for everything she wants, I know the number is 50%. The house, the cars, the boat, the furniture, etc are all meaningless to me.<p>I'm almost not willing to launch this because I know 50% of whatever I make off this project is going to get thrown away to someone that doesn't deserve it.<p>Help.
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brunoc
Take some time to think about this:

> I've worked hard. I haven't had a vacation or day off in years. (...) My
> life is wake up, code, sleep.

> When she's done with her day, she goes to play cards with her other friends.

In order of importance, I feel that that you would benefit the most from
speaking to your wife, a psychiatrist, a marriage counselor and possibly a
lawyer.

Not knowing you personally it is difficult to ascertain your mental state but
if your writeup is any indication, you really, really need some time off; not
a new startup.

~~~
iamafraid
I think I've decided to take some of your advice. I've decided to plow ahead
with the startup and just take the hit. She made a long bet on me that will
probably pay off pretty well and I've got plenty of ideas that I can execute
after this one.

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gamechangr
Find a trusted friend and give him the idea for 10% of the profit per year and
a large payout in ten years.

Your happy and haven't been unethical and she is entitled to her half, but
will most likely want to wait.

~~~
iamafraid
Keeping her as a financial hostage is not quite my intention.

