
Bullshit Job Title Generator - TimPietrusky
http://codepen.io/TimPietrusky/pen/CxiHF
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nemesisj
This is great, reminds me of a story from when I was an intern.

In 2002 I was working at Freddie Mac for an internal business unit as a summer
intern. I was tasked to create our internal group's website. After a week or
two of my boss not producing a mission statement, I went online to the Dilbert
mission statement generator, downloaded about 50 randomly generated ones, then
slapped them into a script that would randomly display one every time the page
loaded. My boss never really caught on, other programmers in the unit loved
it, and I'm pretty sure nobody ever realised that our mission statement was
both randomly generated AND changing with every page load.

~~~
mathattack
This sounds like it should be the subject of a Dilbert article!

~~~
nemesisj
Sadly, they took down the random mission statement generator from Dilbert.com,
so you can't find any examples, but they were hilariously great.

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hackula1
"Ultra Error Expert" \-- I can stand behind that. I take some functioning code
and make it non-functioning in no time!

~~~
rfnslyr
I like to come into work at night, open a cpp file somewhere deep in our code
base... then remove a semi colon.

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benzoate
I hope you write #line 9000 on the previous line to add to the confusion?

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optymizer
I swear sometimes I think you guys have no soul. That's downright evil.

~~~
cobrausn
In a C codebase, I would prefer '#define struct union' tucked away in a shared
header. Compiles just fine.

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sdfjkl
I once worked in a declining startup where the boss came up with increasingly
unlikely product names for the increasingly desperate things we developers
were tasked to create. The more insignificant a piece of software was, the
fancier a name it ended up with. We coped with this in our way, by writing a
bullshit name generator using word components from previous product names. It
did end up having a few "hits" where some of the generated names would turn
into actual products (despite the boss being blissfully unaware of our little
name generator pisstake).

~~~
TimPietrusky
You should share the generator with us! :D

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bdg
I've always said that when I start a company I'm going to give out really
meaningless titles like "Super Nintendo" and "Stealth Bomber", and make sure
they go on the business cards.

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ianstallings
I nearly spit my coffee out when I read: _Über Chrome Dick_

Sounds like robot porn.

At my last startup I actually got to choose my title and chose _Lead Guitar_.
It just confused the hell out of people so I changed it to Lead Developer.

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reneherse
"Codepen.io Ultra Un-Usable iPhone Site Tester." Aw well. :/

~~~
isxek
"Ultra Un-Usable." Ouch.

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nisdec
This remembers me of the "Spiegel-Online" jobtitle-generator which came in a
"casino-bandit" style.

This one: [http://www.spiegel.de/karriere/berufsleben/jobtitel-
generato...](http://www.spiegel.de/karriere/berufsleben/jobtitel-generator-
neue-berufsbezeichungen-fuer-angeber-und-aufschneider-a-771682.html)

~~~
TimPietrusky
This one is really funny too :D Thanks for sharing!

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axelfreeman
I've got "Ultra HackerNews Admin".

~~~
untothebreach
So we should come to you when a title needs to be changed from now on?

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scrabble
Seems accurate. I've seen just as many RockStar and Ninja titles through this
as I do in real life.

Fun tool.

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Jugurtha
"Ultra Marketing CTO". Is that returned by oxymoron_generate() ?

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minikites
> Only the best Future Pizza Reheater

Well, I know what I'm doing tonight.

Reminds me a bit of
[http://chillwitchnamemagic.com/](http://chillwitchnamemagic.com/) for
chillwave bands.

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freejack
Definitely fun. A few of the random's seemed familiar enough that I wanted to
search through old business cards and Linkin contacts to see if someone I know
was actually using them ;-)

~~~
booop
I think these job titles are more likely to show up in a HN job post.

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jswinghammer
Please tell me that people don't put Sithlord in job titles...

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p4bl0
Does LinkedIn provide an API or was it unapproved web crawling?

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supermatt
First-Class NULL Search Expert - sounds pretty awesome to me!

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isxek
Spent long nights working on that complicated Backbone/jQuery/Ember app? Be a
"Javascript Pizza Reheater."

Now I'm wondering what they have for Python users.

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DrinkWater
First Class Internet Explorer Bitch! I need this title.

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saejox
"JavaScript Search Expert"

Bulls-eye! That's every javascript coder i know of. Who writes javascript
anyway just Google it, someone already did it.

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chrisvineup
"Holy web slut" I think ill skip out on the business stationery with that one.
However the title is pretty close to the truth.

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clavalle
My favorite real life bullshit job title is "Chief Innovation Officer".

Care to stand up and be counted? I know you read HN. ;)

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sromocki
#24 "Creative Bitch" \- Jesse

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AliEzer
I first read Sithlord as Shitlord...

~~~
James_Duval
Which actually would make sense as a bullshit job title, taken in context with
the memes of certain online communities...

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dalacv
"First Class Professional Dick" would definitely get someone's attention.

~~~
WA
Louis C.K. called himself that in Live at the Beacon Theater. At least "being
a professional dick paid to fly first class" ;)

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Thereasione
WordPress Expert, Twitter Expert, Internet Evangelist - I have seen those in
RL.

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munimkazia
"Awesome future bitch".. okay it has to be a little realistic.

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EnderMB
So, apparently I'm "Only The Best Yahoo CTO"...

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talles
I got "Sexy Undefined Evangelist".

Going straight up to my résumé.

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zekenie
But I am a "Brilliant Internet Explorer Dick"

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benzoate
Apparently I "♥ Android Dick" _sigh_

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lindsayqwe
I almost lost my shit when it said Holy Java Dick

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mhurron
UI Engineer?

Web Engineer?

/I kid because it's true.

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eddielee6
First Class Android Slut.

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tigerweeds
good stuff. Time to update my Linkedin profile

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mumbi
"Beautiful Frontend Dick"

