

Ask HN: How do you quit your (good) job gracefully? - throwaway2033

I'm a web designer &#38; developer working for a small 5 person web shop. The job itself is great - I can work remotely whenever I choose, the owner and coworkers are all great people, no complaints except the boring nature of client work, really. That said, I can't tolerate client work much longer and have been waiting for the right opportunity to join a startup (or similar) company.<p>However, recently my boss came up with a "revolutionary idea" for a project/task management type app and is gung ho that it's the next big thing. He's already got "investors" lined up and has me spending half my days building an MVP by myself. As great as this would seem, I don't really believe in the idea and it's definitely not the true startup type environment I'm seeking, as I'm still stuck doing BS client work on top of creating the MVP on my own. I'm starting to be overwhelmed with work, have little time for my personal projects, and am generally becoming much less happy every day. Our client work pipeline is starting to run dry, and my boss is starting to bank on this app as the future of the company.<p>I've got some savings (~4 months of living expenses) and I'm turning down freelance work every week. I'm starting to realize I need to make a power move soon to change my situation.<p>Here's the problem: I'm the only one who can program (php/mysql/js) in the company, we're knee deep in a couple large client projects, and the MVP is far from finished. I have such a great relationship with the owner and I want the best for the company, but not sure how much longer I can take it before breaking down.<p>How do I exit this situation without completely screwing them over?
======
anigbrowl
Option 1: have a meeting or a one-on-one and gently bring up the economics.
Whether the MVP is actually great or not is very subjective, but you can put a
number on the opportunity cost of development (in lost client revenue, using
existing data). Explore some contingency scenarios: a competitor launches
something similar just before you do, or someone rips off your code, or a
patent trolls comes out of the woodwork, or you get hit on the head and forget
all your programming skills.

You don't have to oppose your boss's strategy or goal, but if he's going to
bet the company on it it's reasonable to point out what the risk factors are.
A non confrontational way to do this is to ask what he would need from you if
any of these (entirely plausible) situations arose, so that you are
appropriately prepared. You seem like an ethical person, and asking for
guidance on how to allocate your limited resources seems like a constructive
approach to strategic uncertainty. You might not get answers immediately, and
indeed that might be a good thing because it would show that your boss is
actually thinking about the issues.

Option 2: make a power move inside the company. Ask to hire an assistant or
two, train them into the less complex work, build up your own skills as an
architecture/CTO sort of person. Do this in the context of a commitment to a
product release, that gives your boss some security but also allows you to
raise your entirely legitimate points about the time/effort involved.

Option 3: tell your boss straight out that you've hit the limit of your
productivity and are rather worried about burning out due to stress. Most
people would be sympathetic to the situation where you no longer enjoy your
work and want to do something different, even at some inconvenience to them.
Your boss would only hold it against you if you began to compete within the
same space/customer base, which it does not sound like you plan to do. It's OK
to have ideas and goals of your own, and it's highly likely your boss felt the
same way before starting his own firm. He might well be wondering about how
best to keep you interested and challenged, so as not to underuse your skills
with run-of-the-mill projects.

Use your judgment about whether to have a conversation like this in the
office, or maybe over dinner or some non-work environment, like a ballgame or
something else you can both enjoy. Both you and your boss sound like good
people, so just airing the issues may be sufficient. Just think of the
situation as a bug/QA issue in the business model, and give your boss a chance
to fix it the same way you would fix a technical flaw. You develop and
maintain code, your boss develops and maintains deals. Your wellbeing is an
important input for your productivity, and you have a mutual interest in
maintaining that. Best of luck!

------
philco
You need to communicate how unhappy you are. What would break your
relationship is if you quit without ever voicing your discontent - it coming
as a complete surprise is what will make it seem like you "screwed" him and
the company over.

Communicating how unhappy you are, the reasons why, will make it so that the
hope of a friendly exit is possible.

You can also communicate that you're looking to leave in the next X months,
and that you're willing to invest the time to help find a replacement (and
interviewing that individual, etc).

~~~
c4urself
Make sure you prepare the conversation you're going to have. Blurting out what
may be pent-up frustration (as I read it) will ruin it. Be ready to explain
yourself and hear counterarguments.

Don't change your mind during the conversation! Make the choice beforehand (if
you're already sure now) or give yourself a few days to think about it.

------
gallerytungsten
1\. "Boss, I love you, I love the company, but it's time for me to move on."

2\. "I'll give you (at least) 2 weeks to find someone new."

3\. "Heck, I'll HELP you find my replacement."

4\. "Boss, I have total respect for you. I'm going to help you transition to
the new person with no disruption."

5\. "I hope you understand, and I hope you'll be cheering me on as I make my
way with my own new thing."

Take the high road, but be firm; and everything will be just fine.

PS. Congratulations in advance. The end of your last day of those 2 weeks (or
however long) will be one of the best days ever.

------
pedoh
Is the owner aware of how unhappy you are? Is your boss aware of how unhappy
you are? Is there any chance you can be happy at your current company?

If the answers are "yes, yes, no", then your path seems pretty clear. Give
appropriate notice, leave on good graces, and move on.

Otherwise, if you think there is a chance you can be happy at your current
company, go talk to your boss and / or the owner (I'd go to the boss first so
that the boss doesn't ever think you've gone behind his back). You might be
surprised by what they're willing to do to keep you. The results of those
conversations should solidify the answer to whether there's any chance you can
be happy at your current company, and therefore make clear your next path.

Best of luck.

------
salemh
Besides the excellent advice, I enjoy this article quite a bit:

[http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/20/9-tips-for-
quitting...](http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/20/9-tips-for-quitting-a-
job-gracefully/)

Truncated: __ "1. Go before things get bad. .."I realized I was hitting a
point where I was going to start acting out." Like Lynn, you need to know
yourself and be honest about how you're feeling on the job so you don't let
your emotions get out of hand.

2\. Make a good first step. "The very first person that you should tell you're
leaving is your boss,"..

3\. Leave the door open a crack. If you've done good work, there is no reason
you couldn't come back later..

6\. Trust that the company can continue without you. "People think the world
is going to end if they quit their job," says Lynn. "In my last job, everyone
who quit thought everything would go wrong, but it's easily fixed and
everyone's replaceable."

7\. Set yourself up for a good reference. .."You want to be sure the trail you
leave is a positive one,".."I have never, in my 20 years of recruiting, had
someone not answer questions about references." [I can attest to
this..regardless of legality]

8\. Manage the in-between time carefully. "Burn no bridges," warns Brendon
Connelly, author of the popular blog Slacker Manager. Sometimes quitting a job
is as loaded as dumping a lover. ..

This is one of those times we tend not to see ourselves clearly, writes Daniel
Ames, professor at Columbia Business School. Hitting the right note of
assertiveness — not too much and not too little — is hard to do. We notice
poor balance in our colleagues but rarely notice it in ourselves. So keep in
mind that the bottom line of quitting well is assertiveness. Have enough to
leave when you need to, but tone down your assertiveness enough to keep your
friends and colleagues on your side even as you're walking out the door." __

------
Newky
Although my situation wasn't as serious, although I was the sole developer, I
ran the companies "tech department"(consisting of me) for the last about 2-3
months on 3-4 hours of maintenance a week.

I had a decision to make and was asked by my boss whether I would be available
for the summer, similarly he had a lot of projects lined up, but I became sick
of the pressure and boredom of a job which lined up meaningless tasks with a
code base that was neither innovative or exciting to work with.

Instead, I told him to hire someone as a replacement and I spent my last 3-4
months, doing an hour or two a week bringing the summer intern up to speed on
the project and the codebase. This was greatly appreciated and had an
extremely appreciative lunch from my previous boss who has given me a very
positive referral. Its a tough decision and I have really put myself into the
unknown relying on a summer internship in college which I may still not get,
but I am pursuing new challenges and its a lot of fun.

------
imjonathanlee
If you have a good relationship with the owner, then you need to speak up and
let them know that you're feeling the stress. Tell them that you feel like you
need a change of pace. What you could do is have your boss look for a likely
candidate and have that new employee shadow you for 2-3 weeks to make sure
he's capable and can take over your duties before leaving.

If you feel that you can do better, you should really do it. Life's short but
plentiful, there's always something better out there.

------
buckwild
Tell him exactly what you told us. Seriously. If you have as good of a
relationship as you think you have, you guys should be able to come to terms.

------
mrchess
Just follow your heart, seriously. You only have one life so live it.

If you are really that critical I would give them a month notice which is more
than enough time to find a replacement. That is the best you can do. If you
give them plenty of notice, they will have no reason to think you are screwing
them. You'd be screwing them if you just quit and left the next day.

------
radicalbyte
First off, you need to talk with your boss. If you don't believe in what
you're doing, he needs to know that.

Secondly, no-one else will look out for you, so you have to look out for
yourself. Do whatever is the best for you. You can be sure that if your boss
isn't happy he wouldn't hesitate in firing you.

Basically, what philco said :)

------
rawsyntax
You could give them extra notice, above and beyond the normal 2 weeks. Beyond
that, you could also make your services available as freelance resource, set
number of hours a week and a good rate for them. But that's only if you really
want to.

------
jsavimbi
Some times a person is just ready to move on. Give ample notice with a firm
date, offer to help transition the knowledge to your replacement and then
shake hands and leave.

It's been my experience that bosses that come up with the next best thing do
it because what they originally set out to do is failing. Some will call it
pivoting, others will call it getting the code monkeys to write something
different while we figure it out. Either way, without a financial stake in the
new product, you have no power and since you're the only developer there...

