
Ask HN: How do you handle your mental lows? - mlejva
I&#x27;ve been working on a project of mine. I even have a small number of users that care about the product. Yet from time to time I fall into the feeling that everything I&#x27;m doing is worthless, extreme self-doubt and feeling that while others are moving ahead with their lives I&#x27;m just stuck and useless.<p>It usually lasts 1-3 days making me unable to be productive. It used to be worse and last week(s). What I learned is to remember how these lows feel. Nowadays I know that &quot;It&#x27;s just another one of those, it shall pass&quot;. 
I also try to get very analytical when it hits and find out why do I feel like that.<p>I have a few questions.<p>(1) Is this normal? If I take a look at, let&#x27;s say famous, entrepreneurs on Twitter, for example, most of them seem to know what to do and seem to be very pragmatic. Whereas I just often feel completely lost and I feel like I&#x27;m throwing my life away and not being good enough.
But the things is I love this! I love the whole process of creating new things and figuring them out. I can&#x27;t imagine myself doing anything else. It&#x27;s just these lows that I don&#x27;t know how to handle.<p>(2) If you experience similar feelings do you have any tips on how to handle them?
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thiago_fm
1\. That is normal, ask a doctor if you think you have problems and STOP
FUSSYING AROUND ABOUT FAMOUS PEOPLE. You are doing fine, they just had more
luck in life than you. I'm in the absolute 0.01%(or 99.9%?) of a normal
distribution of my peers in terms of success and I'm nowhere near Elon Musk.
You can be very successful, and yet, it won't be enough for you to be
remembered or noticed. Why is that so important? I find this kind of
questioning quite immature to be honest. Just focus on YOUR goals and YOUR
strenghts/weaknesses.

2\. Rest and look for people that can help you out, or solutions. Life is
tedious and hard, we must fight everyday. If people respect that in order to
grow your muscle, you must relax and chill when you have fatigue, why
shouldn't you when you have mental fatigue?

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shortoncash
I love posts like this because it makes me feel like we're all robots that
came off the same factory line. Other people have given good advice, but I'll
throw a random one out there:

I noticed I feel like you do basically every December through March, so much
so that my git commits and activity even look to be seasonal. If this is some
seasonal thing by chance, then get outside for at least 30min a day and/or get
one of those lamps. Don't work in dark places or rooms either.

~~~
Down_n_Out
Could indeed be seasonal, there have been studies and it's a registered
disorder[0] called SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), usually it lasts up
until spring/summer. Light therapy might work as a non-drug cure.

[0][https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/seasonal-affective-
di...](https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/seasonal-affective-
disorder/index.shtml)

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onion2k
_If I take a look at, let 's say famous, entrepreneurs on Twitter, for
example, most of them seem to know what to do and seem to be very pragmatic._

A quick thought experiment - when the people you admire aren't tweeting do you
assume that's because they're busy being successful and getting things right,
or because they're also feeling like they're worthless and getting it wrong as
you do? If it's the former, why are you assuming that?

When all you see is the successes it's very easy to assume it's like that all
the time, but for pretty much all the entrepreneurs (and just people in
general) that's not the case. Everyone has periods of low productivity and
depression to some extent. A lot of people on social media tend not to share
the bad times. That's all.

The solution for me was to realise that there's no rush. If I'm not productive
for a while that's OK. I'm better off when I don't stress over how productive
I am, and taking the pressure off is actually good for me mentally. Of course,
that's not always possible, especially in a start up without a huge amount of
capital. I don't have the answer if that's the case.

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arandr0x
It's not mentioned in the post, but if you have suicidal ideation, consult a
doctor.

Otherwise, it's probably normal (and to be fair since something like 20% of
the US population will have depression at some point, even long and/or severe
episodes seem to be fairly normal).

People on Twitter are lying. Sometimes, only by omission. But often, straight-
up lying. Second-guess your media a little more.

I find the lows more creative personally. The art type of creative. It's a
better mood for seeing the world as it really is, which is a prerequisite to
rendering it. Take up an art like painting or writing and get in the habit of
truly looking at things. It will help you see these times as unique.

Some people find journaling helpful. I've never been able to stick to it but
if you're a list-making, organized type journaling may help. If you do it
large scale enough you can look back and notice that you did achieve things
over a long enough period.

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a-saleh
Similar thing happens to me from time to time.

I have a semi-systematic way to deal with this:

1) check I drink enough water, I eat enough, I had enough sleep. I.e. me and
my wife have managed to avoid few really depressing evening conversations by
looking at each other and saying "We are too tired to talk!", drinking few
cups of water, taking a shower and going to bed early. Next day is then so
much better :-)

2) I try to remember, when I was outside last time for an hour-long walk? When
was the last time I have seem my friends? If the answer is "long ago", I make
plans to change this.

3) so far these instances were far-apart enough, but I started to keep a
journal, and review it whether it is time to go find a therapist :-)

W.r.t. enterpreneurs on Twitter, I follow @sehurlburt and she is quite open
with her going to therapy and sometimes even shares some of her workbooks :)

I am not self-employed, which means that I have one more option you probably
don't really have when feeling unproductive, and that is claiming I am stuck
on a problem to colleagues and asking for help. It can sound weird, but pair-
programming can help me with this, despite me being stuck is not fueled by
technical problem, but mental state :)

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throwawayb
1\. Search for "CEO suicide" and you'll get a less rosy picture. People won't
Tweet about all the problems they have, everybody has problems.

2\. Sleep more. Consult a psychologist if that doesn't help.

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JoshCalbet
It helps the realization and be mindful of your emotional state. I have felt
the same and I just say to myself "It is Ok. Just keep doing it" I remember
something from someone saying "Don't compare yourself to others, just make
sure the one you are today is a little bit better than the one you were
yesterday" and the process is incremental.

I take a break whenever I feel stuck or that my work is useless. It may be
useless (for other people and for myself sometimes) but at the end of the day
is that I enjoy the process what really matters.

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lucianoci
The Twitter thing you bring up is interesting. Tweeting (or posting wherever)
about your work is interesting in that it forces you to at least pretend
you're getting something done.

I find that most hacks for consistency are external in nature. When you're a
lone wolf you can slack off for days and nobody will notice. Say, personally,
I'll often miss my own hard deadlines, but I'd never miss an appointment with
somebody.

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superasn
I think you are putting too much value on your work and you maybe be trying to
substitute work with worth.

I mean work is just a small facet of life.. when you put too much emphasis on
it and start spending disproportionate amount of time on it while ignoring
things that actually make you happy like playing with your kids, spending time
with SO, watching tv / sports, etc you may start equating life with your work
performance which can make you feel this way.

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krrishd
I don't know if it's normal, but I experience pretty much the same cycle (and
have for the past 5-6 years) -- for me, what's helped is:

\- being able to anticipate it

\- using that time period to do more introspective stuff like journalling
(instead of trying to be as productive as I usually am)

\- trying to get outside/working out

\- and sometimes drinking tea for the l-theanine + caffeine boost (which tends
to snap me out of it for a duration of time)

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InGodsName
It's because you don't know what you want and you are trying to fill the hole
inside you with a manhole cover.

Deep inside you are unhappy even tho you are doing fine.

You want things at bigger scale, you yearn for the popularity which other
famous founders have. You crave for their lifestyle.

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sethammons
comparing yourself to others is usually a good way to end up disappointed with
as interconnected as the world has become. Compare yourself to your previous
self. Are you getting better by what you measure success as? Don't worry about
tailored messages famous people write. Are you better now that you were last
year? The year before? Maybe you are better in some ways and not in others.
Celebrate small successes. Also, get vitamin D and do some exercise. Socialize
with people in the real world.

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shzbt
Lifting heavy weights works better than anything else for me. If I skip too
many days in a row I start to feel like that.

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julienreszka
Turns out outdoor sport gives boost in morale

~~~
JoshCalbet
This is true for me as well. Sometimes when I feel down. I workout until
exhaustion and then everything is Ok, not perfect, just fine. It helps to keep
going. It helps, quite a lot!

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Blackstone4
Yeah it can be fairly normally.

a) maybe try meditation b) surround yourself with positive supportive people

