
How to Explain Your Tech Job to Your Family During the Holidays - ojhughes
https://builttoadapt.io/how-to-explain-your-tech-job-to-your-family-905a7c367e2a
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Humdeee
Keep it short and simple within 1-3 sentences. Truth is no one really gives a
damn, it's polite small talk. Ask your aunt about her rat-sized dog instead,
you'll make a far better impression.

I'm definitely not setting it up with some bakery analogy.

~~~
paganel
Is this a US thing? I mean, talking about your job with your relatives and
closed-ones. I'm asking because as an European I don't talk that much about my
job whenever I visit my parents (in fact, I barely mention it, as in
reassuring my mom that yes, my boss still likes me and that I'm not going to
be out of a job anytime soon), and whenever I meet my other relatives (which
is pretty rare, we don't care about each other) I never mention it at all.

Back to my discussions with my parents, we always end up talking about
national politics and the international situation, I thought that was a thing
that people do world-wide whenever they meet with their closed ones around a
table, eating.

~~~
Cyberdog
I don't know if it's just a US thing; in fact, I highly doubt it. But yes,
"What are you doing nowadays?" and "How's the job going?" and the like is a
common conversation starter among friends and family here, even if just for
small-talk.

And, of course, politics is a topic of conversation too, though it will be
mutually avoided if it's known it may cause unpleasant friction.

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jpatokal
> Cloud: A big networked oven that helps make your goods available all around
> the world at fast speeds.

That's almost certainly the worst metaphor I've heard for explaining what the
Cloud is. "Networked oven" indeed...

~~~
Cyberdog
I guess it depends on how you would define "the cloud" _without_ using a
metaphor…

~~~
vertex-four
"Somebody else's computers."

------
Cyberdog
"I'm a web developer."

"So you design web sites?"

"No, that's a web _designer._ For example, on an e-commerce site, a web
designer will design what the pages look like, including the 'Add to Cart'
button. But I will write code that handles what happens when that 'Add to
Cart' button is clicked. It usually involves changing various bits of data in
a database."

"Oh, I see. Hey, Moshe, come over here and meet Cyberdog! He's a web designer
now!"

~~~
seanp2k2
Designers do a lot more than determine what pages look like. That’s _graphic
design_ or _visual design_ . Design in general [should] determine _how the
website flows_ from one interaction to the next and _what the experience is
like_ (another subfield called UX design). There’s also _interaction design_
that deals with e.g. animations when e.g. pressing the button.

In general though, _design_ is _how it works_ from the standpoint of the user;
design decisions are things like “what does the user see when they first visit
the site” and determining if that’s the best thing for whatever goals you have
is the tough part.

Design is not the paintbrush, but this is a commmon misconception, even among
engineers who work with designers. If you’re making websites at a company and
designers are just giving you CSS to style elements and determine colors,
you’re not taking advantage of _design thinking_ :
[https://www.ideou.com/pages/design-
thinking](https://www.ideou.com/pages/design-thinking) and are very likely
making design decisions without realizing it, similar to how it’s possivle to
be architecting systems without realizing it and without considering the large
body of work in these fields that exists.

It pains me greatly that design is so misunderstood as ~”the paintbrush”, even
/ especially with engineers, as [a dearth of] design is almost always the
cause of gripes like “it’s so stupid how {piece of software} works! Why did
they make it like this?!”.

If you’re an engineer and you commonly think “this software really suck”,
please check out [http://www.designkit.org](http://www.designkit.org) over the
holiday break (if you get one). We desperately need more people who understand
the need for and the realities of design in positions where decisions are
made.

~~~
Cyberdog
I do not disagree at all, but your arguments here run contrary to the idea of
"briefly explain what you do to non-technical friends and family."

Suppose such a person asks you what you (who, I presume, is a "web designer"
of some sort or other) do for a living. How do you respond without going into
the weeds of various types and concepts of design for five paragraphs?

~~~
windowsworkstoo
You don’t. Just let them think what they think, because its the least
important conversation you’ll have all day

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im_down_w_otp
What I actually do: "I work on safety-critical software for autonomous
vehicles."

What I tell people: "I make websites."

Because what I've learned over the years is that there's no faster way to kill
a dinner conversation than explain any part of what I actually do.

~~~
seanp2k2
This is why I love the valley; it’s possible to have dinners where people not
only understand what the first one means, but are fascinated by it and would
love to talk about it.

~~~
autotune
On the flip side the valley gets annoying because work is all anybody talks
about outside of work.

------
qznc
The developer is the baker? No. The developer is the guy who writes recipes.
The baker is the computer who executes recipes.

The difference is that our recipes are hundreds and thousands of pages long
and some lines are references to other recipes of more thousands of pages.
Also, we write recipes where hundreds of bakers have to work in parallel
without confusing each other.

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ryandrake
When a non-family member asks you what you do for a living, they usually
either want to make small talk or they want to size you up and see where you
fit relative to them on the ol' social totem pole. I usually just say I'm an
exotic dancer, and that will most of the time get a laugh, break the ice, and
subtly convey the message that it's none of their business. Works like a
charm!

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lb1lf
Years ago, I did a brief stint at a government agency which strongly
discouraged employees talking about their work to anyone.

Made for some quite awkward Christmas party small talk that year. "So, I hear
you landed this new job..." -"Yup. Public servant." "Oh. What do you do,
then?" -"Public servant stuff."

Now, working in the marine industry, it is much simpler. "I get heavy,
expensive stuff to the seabed. Oil stuff. Unmanned submarine stuff. On good
days, I also get it back up again." "Oh, I see."

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marmalade92
I do not think I will every be able to explain to my family what I do. Back in
the day I worked for an ecommerce shop, my mother asked "Well isnt it
finished?" Actually a very true question but too complex to answer.

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maxxxxx
I have tried different ways but in the end people didn't really get it so it
wasn't very useful. Now I just say I am a software engineer and nothing else.

Sometimes I add some technical detail to a discussion like the Equifax leaks
or net neutrality to clarify misconceptions. But that's only mildly related to
my real work so people still don't know what I do :)

------
revel
It's not the job that's hard to explain, it's explaining the willful lack of
income that's hard.

------
bkeroack
"I'm part of a large, multi-organizational effort to put as many people out of
work as possible."

~~~
dictum
This is every corporate job ever.

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estro
You must not be very good at your job if you can't explain it to people you've
known your entire life analogically/in layman's terms. Furthermore, you
definitely should not need a cookie-cutter metaphor from some article.

~~~
karambahh
Describe the end goal of the company you work for is usually easy ("we provide
software for the call center for 911").

Your actual role «development of master-master database cluster to ensure
99.99999% uptime" cannot be expressed in layman terms.

Alternative would be "I write software for Oracle database called Oracle RAC
with a 1M$ price tag", which, while also true probably won't make sense.

Sticking to "I work in IT" is probably better than trying to explain the CAP
theorem.

Not everything can be ELI5 without losing a large amount of important
knowledge...

~~~
5580
"I work in IT" is the fastest way to get a phone handed to you to fix an email
account.

I typically explain that I work with communications. To the casual asker this
typically suffices.

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gaius
"I work in data processing for a large corporation. How about you?"

Having used Chef, which completely half-arses the cookery metaphor, that's not
one I'd choose. You got cookbooks and recipes and knife, but then the
developers just couldn't be bothered any more so you also got nodes and run
lists and data bags...

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jakobegger
Those must be the worst analogies I’ve read in a long time.

Please avoid analogies if possible. They rarely help, and mostly just tell a
story that sounds plausible but has nothing to do with what you are actually
trying to explain.

~~~
mgkimsal
Agreed. Analogies are like trying to compare a metaphor with a simile.

------
dictum
Don't explain it, let them piece together their own imagination from Hollywood
depictions of tech workers and news reports about tech companies.

Sometimes the best inspiration is to imagine the alternative ;)

------
dapreja
I avoid family in general. Too many self-interest mixed with alcohol
andresentment, no thanks.

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rakkhi
I stop bad guys from stealing people’s money from tbe bank (IT security).

Works well for kids and adults

~~~
Cyberdog
Sooo… you're a security guard?

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fpisfun
Just tell them you're a hacker and then evade any further questions.

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hkmurakami
Our product is mobile middleware, so I try to make an analogy to their
business. To my dentist, I explain that it's kind of like supplying their
tools or their filling materials.

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lancebeet
If they're interested, there's probably a better way to explain it. If they
aren't interested, a baking analogy isn't going to make them interested.

