

Ask HN: How do you handle battle between self-doubt and hope/persistence? - sendos

Something that must be familiar to most who start a startup is the roller coaster between the self-doubt and hope they experience. In PG's "What startups are really like", he says<p><pre><code>     "In a startup, things seem great one moment and hopeless the next. And by next, I mean a couple hours later", 
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Of course, persistence is what is needed to sustain you through the lows.<p>On the other hand, I'm thinking that if things look bleak (the startup isn't doing great, you're getting no investments, no traction, etc) maybe that's a good sign to hang up your boots and stop wasting any more of your time on your current project and look for something that has a better chance of succeeding.<p>So, my question is, when things look bleak, how do you decide between "Things will work out in the end. I will persevere" and "This will not work out. I must listen to the clues and exit" ?<p>Of course, there is no single answer, but how do you guys personally handle this situation?
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kirse
I noticed you didn't get much response on here, but my best advice is to not
root yourself in the outcome of the startup so much.

It's tough to do (especially since we entrepreneurs are such dreamers and
visionaries), but try to focus on enjoying the day-to-day journey of building,
discovery, and learning more than the end goals and emotional dreams you have
for the startup.

If your primary source of motivation for doing a startup is this grand vision
of "success" that is propped up in your head (multi-million-dollar exits,
Lamborghinis, boats, houses, etc), your day-to-day perception of your
startup's "success" will be like a small boat in a large storm... tossed
around by every wave of good or bad news. For me, I simply enjoy the challenge
of building something, working hard, and "seeing where it goes". So keep your
expectations reasonable.

I worked hard on a startup for ~2 years, starting in college and for about a
year while I held down a 40hr/week job. It was pretty clear that after
multiple iterations and a splintered team that it wasn't going to succeed. I
know near the end I took a good week off to mentally disengage and try to look
at it from an objective perspective as possible. I talked it over with my co-
founders and we ultimately decided it was time to pull the plug.

Oddly enough, my first real business venture was a success, and my second one
was a failure. To me, giving up was much harder than succeeding, because I'm
not one to give up easily. I learned a lot from that failure though and am
proud to admit to the people who ask that it was a failure, because it's an
excellent story.

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anigbrowl
Set goals and triggers (warnings) on different timeframes and levels. Not too
many, so you are able to keep track of them mentally and don't spend much time
administering your list. Get advice from friends and/or your romantic partner
(if you're in a serious relationship) about what should be on that list. Have
good friends who will encourage and applaud your progress, and some close ones
you can share problems with and who'll tell you if you're driving into the
ditch. I have a shrink I go to occasionally and it's good to have someone you
can speak to with total unabashed honesty, and who will ask questions or
notice things about your thinking patterns that may not even occur to others.
A good attorney can fulfill a similar function for some people.

Have a safety valve and an anchor, too. Could be a place you go or an activity
that lets you reboot mentally when you're having a particularly difficult
time, or some obligation or giving-back to acknowledge your good fortune when
you find yourself feeling cocky. Church or a community activity fill these
roles for some people.

Finally, have an escape hatch. Have some place you can take off to for alone
time and an excuse for why you will not be available to anyone, because when
you go there you disable your phone etc. There are times you need to stop
talking, stop planning, stop thinking and just be. To quote an old Zen
proverb, if your cup is too full of your thoughts and ideas, there is no room
left to pour in new ones. So empty your cup from time to time.

