

Ask HN: How do you deal with abject poverty around you? - tostitos1979

I&#x27;d like to get thoughts on a specific incident that happened to be last night. I was in Manhattan (at a McDonalds of all places). A teenager came in (he had a slice of $1 pizza) ... he sat around for a bit and came to me to ask me for the food I was eating. I said no. The reason I said no was because I wanted to discourage him from begging for food. He persisted for a quite a bit. I engaged in a bit of conversation with him to understand why he was begging, why didn&#x27;t he get a job, etc. This kid seemed to be on another planet ... &quot;you have money. you can just buy more food ... I want your food ... give it to me&quot;. It was a bit surreal. I threatened to call the manager, but that didn&#x27;t make a difference. After a while, I just gave up in disgust and gave him my food. Just to be clear ... giving him food or charity was not the issue here (at least from my perspective).<p>The whole episode has got me confused from an ethics standpoint. I feel I am a lucky person and probably should give more charity. At the same time, I don&#x27;t want to encourage such unacceptable behavior .. especially in a teenager who has his whole life in front of him. What was the right thing to do in such a situation?<p>In retrospect, I should have asked him for something in exchange for the food. Maybe do a quick errand for me. E.g. buy me gum or give me a napkin. Try to impress on him that he had something of value to give. Maybe I should not think so much and ignore aggressive begging. I am very confused and in some pain. Are there ethical principles to guide me here?
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jobnobber
My policy is to never judge and to simply give, no matter how "undeserving" I
initially perceive the person to be. Provided that I'm in a position to give,
of course.

The correctness of this policy was confirmed a few summers ago when I came
across a man who feebly held a cardboard sign asking for money. He was slumped
over on the steps of a bank. I had just given $20 to another beggar and had
only $20 left to my name.

As I approached the man, resentment started building up inside of me. I was
thinking 'if he wants money, he should at least hold up his sign properly'. He
seemed apathetic and lazy. He seemed undeserving. That is, until I saw his
face. He was crying and his expression was of a defeated man. I'll never
forget that look. It broke my heart. I gladly gave him my last $20 bill and
felt terrible that I had judged him so harshly.

I give those in need the benefit of the doubt and help when I can. It's the
easier and kinder thing to do.

