
Ask HN: Advice using Stoicism/Meditation/Zen Buddhism,etc. to buildup resilience - forkLding
I&#x27;m still relatively young (20-25) and have launched a side project while working. Its been quite stressful and I have seen a lot of negative energy come out especially with those who work with me on the project.<p>So I have thought of relying on meditation and related literature to help calm me down and keep me mentally resilient as it seems that these techniques have helped others in the past.<p>Any actionable advice on how I can start this and buildup mental resilience?
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Rainymood
Repeating mantras is awesome. I like to use these:

> "Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the
> courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Basically Stoicism in a nutshell. I like this one and I like to practice it
but I don't repeat, chant this one often in my mind now that I think about it
... the next 2 I repeat daily, nay, hourly, nay, even more probably.

> "There is never enough time to do everything, but there's always enough time
> to do the most important thing."

It's easy to get overwhelmed by the sheer complexity of the whole world (trust
me, I've been there) but there is no escaping this. In the long run we're all
dead anyway. There is basically always an infinite amount of things we can do
but often there is only ONE thing that adds the most value or is the most
important thing RIGHT now.

> "Look at how far youve come already."

For some reason this one motivates me because of all the hardships I've
experienced already. I'm alive. I'm breating. I'm here. I'm going where I want
to go. I have overcome all adversities in the past why should I not overcome
this one? Let's go!

The first one is basically

Besides this, earplugs are SO nice. Just not hearing so much noise really
really calms me down.

~~~
bobbinsbob
>> "Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

This is like a long-winded version of one of my favourites:

>"Fight battles small enough to win that are big enough to matter."

~~~
cholantesh
Maybe it's just because I'm more familiar with the former version, but I find
it...catchier? And that's important in a mantra.

~~~
bobbinsbob
Each to there own ;)

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crispinb
Firstly I would start with some introspection. Techniques from afar can help,
but you may find that you have resources well known to you, near at hand, that
may offer some immediate relief. What springs to mind if you imagine "running
away"? Where and what would you like to run away to? What do you associate
with joy and freedom? If you spend a little time introspecting & remembering,
you might already find you know of some things to do, whether it be surfing or
reading or walking in the moonlight. In my case a good run, or certain types
of gigs, offer peaks that can counter much day-to-day difficulty. These
resources can become a bit hidden by the daily grind. Digging them up and
allocating time for them might be useful.

Secondly, if you're a reader I think Jon Kabat-Zinn's book _The Mindful Way
through Depression_ is an excellent intro to meditation. Don't be put off by
the title -- it's useful for more than just depression. It's a decent read, is
very secular in tone, offers various ways in to thinking about and approaching
meditation that have been fruitfully used in clinical settings, and has a set
of guided meditations on the associated CD that are easier to start with than
trying to remember instructions.

Thirdly, if meditation appeals to you, why not find a local zen or vipassana
group? There's something a little heightened about meditating with a group
that can be motivating. Many such groups offer a weekly sitting, and are
usually pretty relaxed (not demanding you believe anything, join up, etc).

Good luck.

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mbrock
All of those things can, in this day and age, be somewhat usefully summarized
like this:

 _Airplane mode!_

That is to say: turn off your radio for a while and just sit down, or maybe go
for a walk or a swim.

Marshall McLuhan, who was extremely interested in the nervous and mental
changes brought on by network technology, wrote in 1966:

 _With the telegraph Western man began a process of putting his nerves outside
his body. Previous technologies had been extensions of physical organs: the
wheel is a putting-outside-ourselves of the feet; the city wall is a
collective outering of the skin. But electronic media are, instead, extensions
of the central nervous system, an inclusive and simultaneous field. Since the
telegraph we have extended the brains and nerves of man around the globe. As a
result, the electronic age endures a total uneasiness, as of a man wearing his
skull inside and his brain outside._

~~~
bgibson
Hey mbrock, off-topic question, but I came across an interesting discussion
you had here on HN a few months ago on formal verification of Solidity/EVM and
some related work you were doing. I run a conference at Stanford in January on
this, would you have any interest in giving a talk on your work there? Contact
me if interested.

[http://cyber.stanford.edu/bpase18](http://cyber.stanford.edu/bpase18)

[http://twitter.com/byrongibson](http://twitter.com/byrongibson)

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tixocloud
Hi there,

I'm in the same boat as you with working on a startup while working so I can
attest that it is definitely stressful. But it's definitely possible to build
up your mental resilience.

I practice Nichiren Buddhism and chant daily to keep my spirits up. Happy to
share my experience with you. I also read quite a bit of different sorts of
material as well.

For actionable advice, the easiest thing you can do at this very moment is to
take deep breaths (not-related to Nichiren Buddhism but which I found useful
as well) and really let your mind wander about the great things that have come
your way through life. Many people are significantly less fortunate than we
are to be here. The fact that I can do so much with my time is what I feel
thankful for.

~~~
tixocloud
I realize this may be a personal anecdote but I feel we get stressed when
we're in great uncertainty, there's an endless list of tasks, and we don't
seem to have control of anything. Sometimes I plan out breaks where I step
away to do something else other than work and projects. The spiritual practice
and the readings help to re-emphasize that even when I am deep in the
trenches, I have a choice to take a break. It also helps to realize that I can
be happy despite the circumstances, uncertainty and endless work. It's taught
me to be little more patient, to be less harsh when things don't work out and
persevere. Happiness within the chaos. You'll have to find what works for you
but it's definitely there if you're seeking it.

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muzani
There's a whole manual on this, what to do and why:
[http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/mindfulness_in_plain_eng...](http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/mindfulness_in_plain_english.php)

A lot of insights I've learned there, like why people sit straight and full
lotus cross legged instead of leaning back in a chair. Or how just sitting
down doing nothing helps you reach enlightenment.

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zMiller
You need to go through it to unmask it. It's about getting terrified/stressed
and then coming out on the other side relatively unharmed a number of times
until your mind starts making association that every time you felt this way
before and told your self that it will be alright, everything did indeed turn
out ok. Thus the term : learning to trust your self.

