

What should I do about my lazy partner?  - rocamboleh

My partner and I are in the very early stages of submitting a business proposal to an entrepreneurship contest (and hopefully more than one). We have both committed to carrying our idea out - to building our product. As such, we agreed to meet every morning at 8am (we live in the same complex and no travel time was required). Since we are still both in school, we wanted to meet at a time we both could commit to every day, the purpose of the meetings being to discuss readings we have done, to bounce ideas around, to add specifics to our business idea, and to generally stay focused and motivated. 
Here's the thing: in the past 7 days, my partner has failed to make ONE meeting. I'm up every day, down at the breakfast table by 8am ready to meet, and he fails to do so. Furthermore, he doesn't even acknowledge his absence. I'm upset obviously because this is something that I am really passionate and excited about, and he can't even wake up for 8am! I'm curious as to whether anyone else has had a similar experience. 
Objectively the answer here seems to be to drop him as a partner. I'm torn only because I respect his intelligence and know that if he was on top of his work ethic we could build something great together. It's truly frustrating to find someone you could see yourself working with long term - who has committed to a project - only to abandon you essentially. 
 I am worried about losing focus without a partner to push me (and vice versa) and bounce ideas around with. 
Help and advice would be much appreciated. I've got to turn this into a positive learning experience.
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gexla
Dang, I probably wouldn't show up every day either. Do you really need to meet
every day at 8 AM? Maybe he didn't have anything new to discuss.

The meetings are probably not so important in the grand scheme of things. How
is everything else progressing? Meeting every day at 8 AM could be a big waste
of time. Perhaps that time could be better spent actually building something
rather than having discussions.

Personally, I keep quite busy with work, so if I were in this situation that
meeting time might be the only time I would have to work on a side project.
I'm a freelancer and I generally work in teams with other developers. We try
to avoid meetings (chat or voice sessions) if at all possible. More effective
is an email which the other person could read at any time. Meetings can turn
into a serious time sink which can eat into the day.

Everyone has their own preferred way of working. Go ahead and try to find
someone who is a closer match to your preferred way of working, but you will
need to compromise as well, especially when you are looking at partnering with
someone as opposed to hiring this person as an employee.

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bphogan
There are plenty of smart people. Some people are results-oriented, others are
not. I had an employee who could never keep hours. My superiors wanted me to
fire him because he never came in on time.

But he got stuff done. I mean, middle of the night, when a server went down,
he fixed it. I couldn't argue with that. Some people just do things on their
own time.

But it has to work for you. If you're not cool with that kind of person, deal
with it now, before you sign papers.

And it has to be a two-way street. This guy who worked for me let me know that
he couldn't keep regular hours - it just wouldn't work. He didn't just stop
coming in - he told me about it. We worked out something that would work.

If your guy is just missing stuff and not telling you, that's a trust thing.

Partnerships are marriages. You have to trust the other person. You are one.
And it's way way easier to break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend than it is
to divorce your spouse or dissolve a business partnership.

If it bugs you that much, deal with it now.

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joeld42
be flexible... tell him "looks like 8am isn't working for you, let's meet for
lunch (or whatever) instead". Maybe he's just not a morning person.

If his work ethic continues to be a problem, talk to him about it. Ask him to
commit to a number of hours per week, and track/verify this. If he still
fails, then call off the project.

You're both students. Don't get hung up on little stuff like this. You'll
never have this much flexibility in your life again (well, until your start-up
succeeds and you're gazillionaires, I guess). Don't try to be too corporate
too fast. Be rock stars.

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esw
>Furthermore, he doesn't even acknowledge his absence.

Have you asked him about it, or are you just quietly seething about this? If
you're sure that he knows about the meetings and is deliberately blowing them
off, then it sounds like you're much more excited about the idea than he is.
I've watched a lot of early stage startups fall apart like this - one person
is legitimately motivated, and the other is casually interested enough to stay
partially engaged, but they disappear when when substantial work is required.

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gs8
Do you need that many meetings? That seems like too much of a time commitment
for simple discussion which can happen via IM or phone.

Also if you live in the same complex and you have no idea as to why your
partner missed the meetings, than your communication needs some work.

If all you are doing is just meeting to prepare for a business proposal, than
most likely your idea isn't going to go anywhere. Start working on
implementing your business plan rather than putting your business plan
together.

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ares2012
Does he even give an excuse for missing the meeting?

It's possible that his absence is his way of telling you that he doesn't think
meeting everyday is important. I would hope it's not just that he forgets or
can't wake up that early at least.

In general, intelligence is a critical feature of a good partner but
reliability and chemistry are more important. If you do start a company with
this person, you are getting married for 5 years (or at least you have to
treat it that way). If there is already friction now, that should be telling
you that you don't have the right fit. At the stage you are at now you should
be running at full steam instead of wondering why you are sitting alone in the
morning.

I suggest breaking it off. You'll be thankful later when you find a partner on
the same wavelength and things really click.

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vic_nyc
Some people are morning people, others aren't, despite best intentions. You
could reschedule the meetings and see if he can make it at a different time.
If he still doesn't, it will mean he's either not committed to the business,
or not disciplined enough, so you will have to split.

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snikolov
I don't buy the argument that this is okay because some pepole don't work well
according to schedules or because there is nothing new to discuss every day.
This is a problem of communication and accountability. If you've agreed to
something, you'd better be accountable for it. If you're not a morning person,
or you don't think meeting every day is necessary, then say so! Avoiding
confrontation/communication only delays the problem. Making mistakes is not
the end of the world --- as long as there is accountability. The fact that he
didn't even talk to you about the missed meetings is the biggest problem IMO.
How can you trust this person to talk to you about more important things later
on?

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maxharris
You're not going to have a future in business with him, and you know it. Man
up (I assume you're male; if not, _woman up_ ) and tell him it's over!

If you don't have the courage to do this, how are you going to face the much
tougher battles yet to come?

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abbasmehdi
You want him to wake up at 8:00 so he could keep you motivated. It was your
idea, wasn't it? He is being too polite to tell you "motivate yourself!"

You don't need to be in touching distance to come up with an idea. When you do
have a great vision, that will motivate you. It is kind of like trying to be
motivated to fall in love before meeting the person you're going to be in love
with.

Don't force it. On him or on yourself. When a great idea comes to you, no one
will be able to keep you from getting there.

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squasher
I am more concerned by the lack of communication than by the missed meetings.
Have you actually talked to him about this? Maybe he is sadly waiting for you
at a different coffee shop, or under the impression that the meetings are only
when needed.

Does he have any idea how much this is destroying your trust in him? Tell him
your expectations, give him a chance to shape up, and if he doesn't, you know
what to do.

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tgrass
If there was more invested, I'd recommend a slew of advice for 'talking it
over.'

But it seems like this is pretty thin at this point, so walk away.

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Joakal
Is it only one meeting and a non-critical one at that? It's probably nothing.
I don't think he's trying to ride on your progress. Heck, he may have stayed
up one night playing WoW in a maid outfit and feels embarrassed after getting
up late the next day.

Have you had a meeting to explain potential risks of foundership that includes
a founder splitting off?

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gobongo
Looks like you're getting downvoted, but really the OP should be downvoted for
bad writing.

"in the past 7 days, my partner has failed to make ONE meeting"

Dear OP, this states that your partner has made it to 6 out of 7 meetings. I
know you didn't actually _mean_ that, but that's what you said (well, typed).

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taphangum
Take this from someone who knows. Get rid of him. ASAP. People like him
singlehandedly kill businesses.

