
Ask HN: How did you meet your spouse? - conqrr
Finding it hard to meet women in Seattle as an expatriate. Putting myself out there in various ways and focusing on myself but it isn&#x27;t easy. Apps aren&#x27;t great either.
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coreymaass
I sat next to her on a plane. Every girl I'd dated for 7 years previous I met
online, so I never thought I'd meet someone in real life.

So it was luck, but the part I view as important was after exchanging a little
conversation, we were quiet during the flight. When we deboarded, she was
walking in front of me, and I could've just let her go. I consciously made
myself catch up to her, continue the conversation, and then ask for her number
at luggage pick-up. Meeting her was luck, making sure I didn't let her get
away was my choice.

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conqrr
Love the last line.

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eq_sd_
I don't have a spouse. Just wanted to say I have a hard time meeting men AND
making friends in Seattle, even as a female software engineer working in video
games. I've used Tinder in the past and have been able to meet lots of people,
but it doesn't seem to be as effective now. Not sure if the users of the app
have changed or it's just Seattle culture. It's rough.

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conqrr
I'm in Seattle too. Do you want to meet up?

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bjoli
I was rather new in town, and was having a concert (I am an orchestra
musician). In the audience was a girl I found pretty, and after the concert
(Verdi's requiem) I went out into the audience to talk to two friends who had
been sitting not far from her. She was still there, so I asked if she wanted
to join us for beers.

We talked, got along well and switched numbers. Nothing happened for a long
while because I couldn't get my thumb out of my arse, but about 6 months later
we kissed for the first time.

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jamesponddotco
Bit of a long mess, to be honest. While I am not proud of the things I did, I
am thrilled I found her, as we are perfect together.

My wife and I met on Tinder and went out on a couple of dates that went really
well — we connected instantly. I was young and stupid at the time — I am just
dumb now — and was on an "I need to find myself" phase of my life, so we
talked and agreed to stay friends. We started seeing other people, while still
meeting every weekend to watch Doctor Who. After the episode, I would usually
help her find someone on Tinder, and she would help me.

Eventually, after about a month, I started dating another girl, and she found
a guy she liked too. We would still meet every weekend to watch Doctor Who,
with our respective dates now, but would also go out for coffee during the
week — I work remotely, so I was always at a coffee shop anyway. In one of
those meetings, which we now call "The Friday of Temptation," it became clear
that we still felt a strong attraction to each other, but we did nothing. She
broke up with the guy that same day.

On Saturday — which we call "The Saturday of Betrayal" —, we were texting
while she was at a birthday party that she didn't want to go. After a panic
attack hit her, I offered to go pick her up as her panic attacks usually get
better when I am around.

I called a cab, went to the party, picked her up, and brought her to my
apartment — we didn't have any intention of doing anything, as far as I
remember. I spent the rest of the night and the beginning of Sunday morning
talking to her and calming her down. Eventually, we started rewatching our
favorite Doctor Who episode — Empty Child. We started talking, one thing leads
to another, and we ended up in bed.

The next morning I took her home, told her I had to speak with my then-
girlfriend and would talk to her on Monday. So I went back home, called my
girlfriend, she came over, I explained what happened, and we broke up — she
reacted better than I did, to be honest. My now-wife had a flight scheduled to
the next day, as she was going to spend a few months with her parents in
another state, so I got on a plane a few days later and went to meet her — we
talked and on December 25th, 2015, I asked if she wanted to make everything
"official" — as in, girlfriend, not wife. She agreed to, and we have been
living together ever since — although, in my book, we kinda have been living
together since day one.

Anyway. I proposed to her on December 25th, 2016, and on December 1st, 2017,
we got married. Been together ever since, got two companies together — a
photography studio and a WordPress hosting company —, and have been thinking
about moving to Romania — we are currently in Brazil — and adopting a dog — we
have two cats.

I have no idea how Tinder and other dating applications are these days, but I
would definitely say they are worth it. I had an incredible year when I
started using it, learned a shit ton about myself, made tons of friends —
which later became clients of our studio —, and met the love of my life.

It pays to be honest and have patience. I was brutally honest on my profile
description — I made it very clear that I consider myself an asshole, and hey,
I proved myself right! —, and "filtered" the people I wanted to talk to not by
their look, but by how the initial conversation inside the application went.

Worked for me ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

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vectorEQ
i always said i hated dating apps and people on there just look for sex. after
a long time nagging by my friends who met on there, i tried it. first person i
met i ended up to marry :'). u never know.

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codegladiator
Matrimony website

