
Recovering from Burnout and Depression - kierantie
https://kierantie.com/a/burnout/
======
55555
I think a big factor in burnout is that most work is ultimately meaningless,
or even morally wrong, and on a deep level, we're aware of that. Why is it so
hard to make yourself work? Probably because you actually should be doing
something else with your life.

If someone paid you money to kick a dog, you'd feel a strong urge to do
something else. That's because you shouldn't kick dogs. But when we feel the
same urge to not work, we read articles (not this one so much) that are
essentially lists of ways to trick ourselves into doing things that don't
matter or which will make the world a worse place.

You may have an idea that you know will make you a millionaire and which you
could build, but you just can't force yourself to because fundamentally money
won't make you happy and the idea is meaningless at best.

At least this is often the case for me.

~~~
jly
I think this is more true than many would like to admit. Maybe 'most work' as
meaningless isn't the way I would phrase it, but I know many including myself
that are often creatively and technically challenged, work an average number
of hours, but feel the mental stress of burnout purely because of the guilt
and resentment of spending so much time on the specific job function, itself.

To put it a little more abstract than 'kicking the dog', much of the work we
do is in service purely of the bottom line - for products no one demands or
needs, that solve no real human needs (of which there are MANY unmet needs),
but generate maximum profit often at the expense of others or our collective
future. Some work that centers purely around controlling capital serves
virtually no real human function and has no actual output except profit (think
banking, real estate, etc). Maybe I'm in the minority but these thoughts weigh
heavily on me and make it much hard to make myself 'work', regardless of
compensation. We keep at it because it's not feasible or enjoyable to be low-
income in the world we live in, but we feel the urge that we should be doing
something else. I call that a form of burnout.

~~~
seanp2k2
This is one of my big problems with the idea of money being so separated from
actual good these days. It also creates huge wealth gaps, and I have no idea
what could be done to re-align it. Basically, I believe that the concept of
money as it exists today is deeply broken and should be aligned with something
which benefits humans vs something which is required in small to moderate
quantities to not suffer yet which people obsess over, collect, and seek to
increase with an unrelenting fervor, despite any damage it does to society or
individuals.

~~~
dnautics
Money is very broken currently.

"By a continuing process of inflation, governments can confiscate, secretly
and unobserved, an important part of the wealth of their citizens. By this
method, they not only confiscate, but they confiscate arbitrarily; and, while
the process impoverishes many, it actually enriches some. The sight of this
arbitrary rearrangement of riches strikes not only at security, but at
confidence in the equity of the existing distribution of wealth. Those to whom
the system brings windfalls . . . become 'profiteers', who are the object of
the hatred of the bourgeoisie, whom the inflationism has impoverished not less
than the proletariat."

Doesn't that sound familiar? The quote is, ironically, by John Maynard Keynes,
the very person policymakers cite to justify stealing from the poor and giving
to the rich via inflation, in the name of "stability".

~~~
Dylan16807
> stealing from the poor and giving to the rich via inflation

Inflation is a tax on assets. Isn't that the exact opposite of taking from the
poor?

~~~
qb45
Inflation is a tax on money, not on all assets. It costs those who have their
assets located in money. The big fish don't and beggars neither. Lower-middle
would be my guess.

------
rubicon33
I want to highlight something that the article touched on, which for me, was a
big source of burnout.

"Breakdown of community"

This can happen if you work remotely, or work in-office with a team that isn't
collaborating effectively. If the work you do is isolating and you rarely
collaborate with others, you may suffer burnout.

At our core we all want to feel like we're part of something bigger than
ourselves. Being part of a team, even if it's as contrived as an office team
is, can still be surprisingly important for ones mental health.

If you're feeling burned out consider if a lack of engagement with your peers
could be a contributor.

That's my 0.02 at least.

~~~
tannerc
Poor collaboration within a small team is something I'm experiencing now, and
it's devastating.

Would be curious to hear if you found a way out, or a way to improve
collaboration within a currently flawed group.

~~~
rubicon33
That's a tough question to provide a meaningful answer to without
understanding the source of the problem. Conflicts and lack of collaboration
on teams can be the result of a number of factors each requiring a unique
approach.

In general it's the responsibility of the manager to monitor the health of the
team as a unit. If you have a manager it may be worth bringing this issue to
their attention and working with them to find a solution. The manager has the
authority, and should have the respect, to make the necessary changes to your
team dynamics to improve collaboration. What this means for your team, depends
entirely on what the source of the problem is.

For as much as managers get a bad rap in the tech community, they really do
have an important job. Steering the ship and ensuring the wellbeing of the
team is their number one priority. A good manager should be open to your
comments and appreciate the opportunity to work with you to increase valuable
collaboration.

If you don't have a manager then you may need to wear the manager hat. My
recommendation in this case - not knowing you or your team - would be to
identify the source of the collaboration breakdown, and then reach out to your
colleagues to see if they feel the same way. Assuming everyone on your team is
cordial, they should be open to a discussion on how to promote a collaborative
environment. If your teammates are NOT cordial, well, you've got an entirely
different problem on your hands...

------
failrate
My recovery included a regimented sleeping, eating, and exercise plan that I
introduced in stages. If you have to pick just one to start with, it is a toss
up between going to sleep at the same time every night or going for a walk
every day.

I also never work overtime anymore.

Still not totally okay, but not completely burnt out anymore.

~~~
abvdasker
Can you expand on some of the details of your regimen? I'm having trouble
getting myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour and I think it is strongly
contributing to a growing sense of fatigue at work. Would be particularly
interested in how you got started with it.

~~~
failrate
Yes, it is a simple regimen: At least a half hour before bed, turn down all
lights and light-emitting objects. This means no computers or television. Do
not do anything in your bed other than sleeping or sex. If you want to read
until bedtime, move yourself to a different location, like a comfortable
couch. If you are having trouble sleeping at a given time, you may try
melatonin. I don't have to follow all of these rules now that I've developed
the habit, but I find my sleep is significantly improved when I do. Oh, and
don't go to sleep drunk, either.

------
postfacto
For me the cause for burnout was having to deal with a combination of
politics, the fact that those determined my lack of technical input, that I
wasn't allowed to perform at my best because I lacked input, and then getting
beaten with the underperformer stick while the project was going down the
tubes.

~~~
kierantie
I hear that - it sounds VERY similar to what I dealt with. I also had the
additional problem of working to help an audience and a customer base that
deep down, I didn't care about.

So many people seem to believe it's only about overwork - but that's only a
small part of it. It's a myth I tried to dispel as best I could in the
article.

~~~
quantumhobbit
Very true about overwork. I would be less burned out if I worked more, or was
allowed to be more productive. For me burnout is about powerlessness in work,
the feeling that no matter what I do I won't be able to make a positive
impact.

~~~
graphitezepp
"burnout is about powerlessness" I think is a succinct but adequate way to put
it, at least from my perspective.

------
kierantie
Hey everyone - thanks so much for reading! Burnout and depression is a topic
that not enough of us talk about, even though that's often the best solution.

If you know anyone struggling with burnout or depression, or you just enjoyed
my article, I'd be forever grateful if you'd share it with them on Twitter or
Facebook, to help spread the word. Thanks so much!

~~~
moron4hire
> Burnout and depression is a topic that not enough of us talk about

You know, I get what you're saying, but I actually need to stop you here.
Because honestly, we can't go two weeks without a post hitting the front page
about someone's personal come-to-Jesus moment about burnout. We _do_ talk
about burnout and depression, a _lot_. And nobody learns.

Nobody learns and I don't think anyone will learn. In the 20 years I've been
working in the tech industry, I've only seen things get worse. Workers get
treated more like cattle every day. Creatives who become founders self-
flagellate themselves even more. It's a sick, disgusting cycle, all built on a
lie of "just work hard--never mind on what--and you will get your due", and
it's one I think companies like Facebook and funds like Andreeson are
encouraging so that they can have a constant churn of Jr Devs desperate to get
started and Sr Devs desperate to put their lives back together after their own
failed startups.

~~~
elementalest
Maybe its not so much that nobody learns, but that its something that is
generally best learned through experience. Its hard to self assess and self
deception is easy. So society keeps repeating the same mistakes, even though
those who have experienced and learned from it are actually talking about it.

To me it seems much more like a societal/systemic problem - one that will not
be easy to fix, especially with the increasing inequality and rise of
automation. The demand for achievement and lifestyle upheld by society as
something worthwhile to strive for (for happiness, fulfilment, recognition
etc), just perpetuates the cycle and will be become harder to attain.

What are those to think/do who did not reach what society taught them they
should want and have to be happy and fulfilled? These people put the effort
in, but get nothing back. They get burnt out and depressed and even though
they later talk about it, others cant understand as they don't have
perspective and/or don't think it will happen to them. They are too busy
burning themselves out chasing the goal.

I don't think there is a solution that doesn't involve a radical shift in
society and work/life balance.

~~~
darioush
What you're describing is the norm in capitalist Western countries. Other
societies have different "things to chase", basically the values of their
cultures.

------
twfarland
I burned out three times in salaried jobs. Mostly due to chaotic leadership.
Hard work isn't the problem. Chaos and bad leadership is the problem. Moved to
contracting, and have been fine since.

~~~
convolvatron
how is that? i find that chaos and bad leadership still has a huge impact on
my perception of my job and my ability to make progress as a contractor.

its just alot easier to shrug and cash the check. and spend as much of the
rest of your time doing things you think are worthwhile.

ideally as a contractor i could choose to apply myself at places which were
better organized and more engaging, its just they aren't as interested in
contractors and its hard enough keeping yourself in jobs without firing all*
the lousy customers.

~~~
michaeltoth
A bit off topic, but I'm curious - how did you get started in contracting and
how do you go about finding clients? Is it through people you've worked with
in the past, or do you somehow advertise yourself? This is something I've
considered moving toward but I don't know where to begin. Thanks!

~~~
convolvatron
its pretty hard. alot of reaching out. contracts dry up for a wide variety of
reasons. so you have to keep the pipe full.

body shops will reach out to you - thats usually suboptimal for alot of
reasons, but its work

sadly, alot of my contracts come from interviews for full time positions where
the customer is hiring for some special skill, but its clear there isn't a
long term role for me there. that can lead to work

old contacts are the best way, but you have to stay on people's radar.

sofar I've found gig sites to be pretty useless. the site wants to constrain
communication so that you cant have the normal design discussion up front -
they just say 'microcontroller work <$250', bid yes or no

my impression is that the mvp webapp space is still pretty easy to make money
in. not really in systems - decent employers know that its hard to make a
contract work well and would rather have you as a resource ongoing. and
everyone is just doing staple jobs these days, so 'kernel' and 'test' and
'embedded', and all the old specialties dont get you anywhere.

i would try to leverage someone you've worked with before who is now in a
position to influence a contract decision. someone with whom you have a level
of mutual respect. once you have something ongoing, always spend time trying
to open up new opportunities.

the thing that i find hard is that as a hired gun, you can present your
opinion for consideration - once. its not your role to pursue and agenda,
you're there to provide hourly services at the discretion of the customer and
you need to demonstrate concrete value.

to circle around, its this carefully negotiated per-task relationship that
both removes the pain of trying to work around useless colleagues and
eliminates any reward you might feel for shaping a product. this is not your
party, you're just serving canapes.

~~~
michaeltoth
Thanks for the detailed response. You point out some interesting challenges
that I hadn't fully considered. Overall, do you still prefer to contracting
process and role to a traditional position?

~~~
convolvatron
for me personally i dont really have a choice...to continue the analogy, its
nice to have friends and go to parties. but instead of throwing hysterics when
married lisa makes a drunken pass at married brad...i get to chide the
bartender for overserving and wait until midnight.

------
kornakiewicz
One of my favourite quotes from Edward Sapir (known for Sapir-Whorf
hypothesis):

The major activities of the individual must directly satisfy his own creative
and emotional impulses, must always be something more than means to an end.
The great cultural fallacy of industrialism, as developed up to the present
time, is that in harnessing machines to our uses it has not known how to avoid
the harnessing of the majority of mankind to its machines. The telephone girl
who lends her capacities, during the greater part of the living day, to the
manipulation of a technical routine that has an eventually high efficiency
value but that answers to no spiritual needs of her own is an appalling
sacrifice to civilisation. As a solution of the problem of culture she is a
failure — the more dismal the greater her natural endowment. As with the
telephone girl, so, it is to be feared, with the great majority of us, slave-
stokers to fires that burn for demons we would destroy, were it not that they
appear in the guise of our benefactors. The American Indian who solves the
economic problem with salmon-spear and rabbit-snare operates on a relatively
low level of civilisation, but he represents an incomparably higher solution
than our telephone girl of the questions that culture has to ask of economics.
There is here no question of the immediate utility, of the effective
directness, of economic effort, nor of any sentimentalizing regrets as to the
passing of the "natural man." The Indian's salmon-spearing is a culturally
higher type of activity than that of the telephone girl or mill hand simply
because there is normally no sense of spiritual frustration during its
prosecution, no feeling of subservience to tyrannous yet largely inchoate
demands, because it works in naturally with all the rest of the Indian's
activities instead of standing out as a desert patch of merely economic effort
in the whole of life. A genuine culture cannot be defined as a sum of
abstractly desirable ends, as a mechanism. It must be looked upon as a sturdy
plant growth, each remotest leaf and twig of which is organically fed by the
sap at the core. And this growth is not here meant as a metaphor for the group
only; it is meant to apply as well to the individual. A culture that does not
build itself out of the central interests and desires of its bearers, that
works from general ends to the individual, is an external culture. The word
"external," which is so often instinctively chosen to describe such a culture,
is well chosen. The genuine culture is internal, it works from the individual
to ends.

~~~
erikpukinskis
Yet this is one of the central business models of Silicon Valley: build a
software apparatus, hire "interchangeable" women to take care of the human
side of it, pay them "market rates" which for women's work means "the lowest
acceptable wage for at least one woman in the social class your customers
expect" (they're interchangeable, any woman could follow the script. The hard
part is building The Apparatus that tells them what to do. So we pay men big
bucks to build The Apparatus).

It's all built on the fundamental belief that the work these ladies are doing
is interchangeable while the men's work is not.

Is that really true though?

And of course sometimes you find a pool of men who will let you treat them
interchangeably too...

~~~
psyc
What is this SV software company role that is filled exclusively by underpaid
women? I'm trying to think of what you might be referring to, but honestly
have no idea.

~~~
erikpukinskis
Customer support and office manager are the big ones. I wouldn't use the word
exclusively.

------
hn017132
I burned out in 1999 and never really recovered. I miss some of the work, but
not the stress, not the politics nor gamesmanship. Instead of creating capital
value for faceless shareholders I've spent the past nearly 20 years creating
financial and personal value for myself.

~~~
neversorry
If you don't mind me asking, what steps did you take?

~~~
hn017132
I taught myself how to invest for reasonable returns, so a mix of stocks,
bonds, and real companies. I learned how to read and critique financial
statements, business plans, LLC / LP organization documents.

I learned how to say “no” to outrageous demands on my time, to companies which
asked that I give it all in return for some meager equity grant that could be
worth millions but more likely not worth the paper it was written on.

Fairly boring, really, but not covered in my CS or liberal arts studies in
college.

You get so caught up in the moment: get a job, make money, pay your debts, you
don't get a chance to step back and ask what you want out of life.

I've tried working with startups again since I left that world, and I always
end up leaving after a few months to a year. Most startups are managed as
though everything is a crisis, your hair is on fire all the time (and if it's
not, then clearly you're doing something wrong). Firms, capital back companies
are not new. Digital technology and communications remove a lot of the
friction, but a lot of the corporate politics you find in today's hot startup
existed in the 1990s, 1980s, 1970s and so on. It's not just a failure to learn
from the past, it's an outright refusal, the constant "it'll be different this
time" mantra.

Surprise: it's pretty much the same shit, different logos and domain names
(and apps).

------
throwaway8800
I think the most striking thing about burnout is that, in my experience, it
actually takes time to recover from it. Like a wound that requires healing.

It wasn't a situation where you simply remove a stressor and everything
automatically gets better. A problem was created in my brain and it took a
long time before I was functioning properly again.

~~~
atulatul
Good point. And this is the thing I noticed most in the article. Have read a
few other articles here in the past. But here the author stressed this point.

------
suryakrishna
I was working for the software giant based in Seattle. I experienced all the
emotions mentioned in this post. Lucky that you had an option to take a break
for 6 months. I cannot quit my job and take a big break as my visa does not
permit this but I did quit my job and spent a month looking for another job
which was even more stressful. Currently, I am lucky that I work for a company
which truly values employees. I am currently recuperating and it is gonna take
some time. The important learning is never to allow this in the first phase,
when you have a inception of a thought that something is not going right, get
on it and fix it and never ever think about it again.

~~~
praneshp
If you're on H1, and have the money to pull it off, you can take a break with
an approved leave of absence[0]. When it's renewal time, you can add these
dates in as time not spent on H1 if the time was spent outside the US.

I hope you get better soon!

[0]: [http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/how-taking-
approved-l...](http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/how-taking-approved-
leave-affects-your-h-1b-employment.html)

------
spatulon
This struck pretty close to home. I quit my job because of burnout, and I'm
currently on month five of what I expected to be a two or three month break
before finding another job. I still don't feel ready to go back into the real
world.

Like the author, work overload was not the problem - I almost never worked
more than 40 hours per week. Finding support from family/friends has been
difficult; I've been desperately trying to avoid the stigma attached to the
word ｄｅｐｒｅｓｓｉｏｎ, and as a result I don't think many people realise what I've
been going through, and assume I've just decided to bum around for a bit.

------
soulnothing
I've burnt out on several occasions. I'm currently battling with it right now.
Part of it is my career has regressed in pay and challenge year over year. I
can barely accept doing something relatively pointless. But I need to grow or
challenge myself to some extent. In the long run, I work to pay the bills. I
have a million other things I want to do.

But what do you do when both your personal and professional life collapse at
the same time. That's the boat I'm in right now. As soon as I'm done with
work. I practically start working on salvaging what I can of my personal life.
I forcefully have dragged myself to the doctors. But am not getting much help
as of yet from that field.

------
milesf
A nurse once told me "burnout is actually heartache in disguise". While I
don't complete agree with that statement, I think there's some truth in it.

------
spangry
This article really resonates with me. I burned out badly around 2 years ago
and have still not recovered. 2 years. Although it's probably exacerbated by
pre-existing chronic depression in my case.

It's cost me so much. My friends, who I've all alienated. My general physical
health, which is the worst it's ever been in my adult life. Strained family
relationships. Gaining a reputation for being 'unreliable'.

If you notice that feeling of exhaustion/frustration creeping up on you, even
though objectively what you're doing shouldn't be that strenuous, stop. Stop
right there and take a long break. Don't tell yourself "I'll just close out
this project and then take a break". Just stop. The extra couple of months of
work you might be able to force out of yourself are not worth the years of
hell that may follow.

------
mkalygin
Recently I was feeling very frustrated about my work, about what I do in my
life. This was lasting for about 1 month. I've noticed that in such periods I
compare myself to others and intentionally think that I'm worse. Like
literally the most useless person in the world. Usually I find any particular
metric (even meaningless) and compare. This is very self-destructing activity.

What helps me in fight with burnout is realising what my strong sides are. I
just try to do what I'm good at, and I stop comparing myself to others because
of obvious evidence that I'm not. And of course I get more rest, more sleep
and switch to creative hobby activities more often. Like an author, I
reevaluate my goals and priorities and become in sync with my life again.

~~~
Bakary
I've heard about this thought process often and I feel that the root cause is
that tying your self-worth to your "usefulness" to others or to society at
large is ultimately self-defeating.

~~~
ahartman00
see this recent discussion:

"Self-Compassion Works Better Than Self-Esteem"

[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14314958](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14314958)

------
thatonecoderguy
This hit spot on for me. I believe I'm currently dealing with and realized not
long ago that Burnout was real and not an arbitrary term that people through
around.

~~~
kierantie
Glad it helped! I've heard from so many people that have been struggling with
the same thing, but didn't even know that's what was going on. It took me
months to realize what was happening, and one of the biggest things that
helped was reading about others' accounts of their experiences - which is what
prompted me to write about it also.

------
xivusr
I can totally relate to this. I experienced this after working steadily 4
years and then having a close friend pass unexpectedly. Suddenly everything I
was spending all my time on felt like a waste of time. Now, almost two years
later I'm doing better and even looking to work in a non-remote scenario. I
think it's great to be on the lookout for signs of burnout, but on the other
hand it's equally important to use our time wisely and do the things we love.

~~~
h_fitzgerald
Your situation is eerily similar to mine. I lost my best friend in 2015. I was
already pretty overworked and stressed out at my job, but after his death my
brain was just broken. I had no drive, ambition, or focus. My shrink has been
instrumental in the recovery process.

Having said that, rebuilding your life post-burnout/depression can be an
overwhelming at times. It's helped me to just focus on making one thing better
each day, no matter how small the task. Forward momentum is the key ingredient
to a come back. Good luck and Godspeed!

------
faragon
TL;DR: Don't try so hard. Like Queen's song. [1]

[1]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7kUc5RcMqc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7kUc5RcMqc)

------
ggggtez
Are there any studies on how long engineers take to recover from burnout? 6
months sounds about right from what I've heard anecdotally.

~~~
dredmorbius
I suspect there's considerable variance.

~~~
ahartman00
I believe the anecdotes in this thread range from about 1 month to 2 years,
iirc. I've been feeling a little burnt out lately. But reading this thread
reminded me of how much I have to be grateful for, and there were many good
tips. Like focus on the positives. So for me, like 1 hour or so :)

There are many factors at play here.

How bad is it? What is the cause? How long does it take to address the cause?
Ie if the cause is not having meaning, how long does it take to find something
meaningful? If it is a bad community, how long does it take to find people you
like?

~~~
dredmorbius
Not my field, but:

* Suicide is one terminal option.

* There's a fair history of people who've suffered burnout, or equivalent earlier terms (nervous breakdown, nervous exhaustion, possibly also PTSD and its antecedants -- combat fatigue and shell shock), for the rest of their natural lives.

* Others who've taken multi-year / multi-decadal breaks, or transitioned to other careers or professions.

Again: I suspect considerable variance.

------
P4rzival
This is also a huge problem for social workers, especially working with high
risk clients. A lot of times the departments are unfunded so the workers also
do not get the treatment/counseling they really need.

~~~
ythn
Social workers all the way down?

------
bholdr
Very interesting and very nicely written! I was thinking about this myself
lately ([https://medium.com/@yansh/who-do-you-want-to-be-in-life-
ca8f...](https://medium.com/@yansh/who-do-you-want-to-be-in-life-
ca8ffa3d72e7))..

I think the advice to slow down, take a break, refocus is key to figuring
things out, however, not everyone can afford to do so. It's a risk, and there
is always a trade off. So I wouldn't frame the article as a guide, because
it's different for everyone.

~~~
cerberusss
> however, not everyone can afford to do so

So start saving. This was actually my biggest takeaway from the article. The
couple had more than 6 months of living costs stashed away, which I think is a
very good idea.

~~~
bholdr
yes, a great advice but might not be a viable option for everyone.

------
manmal
It has already been said that burnout can stem from a "bad boss", i.e.
abusive, or your work is not appreciated. I think it can also stem from not
having a (perceived) choice. If your worldview forces you to do this exact job
("I'm only good at this particular job", "I would lose my/our home for lack of
money", "My parents would not approve me quitting"), then this can kill your
enthusiasm, and also result in a burnout. And it will spread, and infect other
areas of your life, and you might wonder why you are actually here. Just
building up a choice can help a lot. This could be an alternative career that
earns less, but you realize that you can actually get by on less. Or you make
the decision that your parents' approval is not something you need anymore.
Given a choice, the fun might or might not return. I'm pivoting to design for
this very reason. I love building things, and I'm good (maybe great) at
software, but programming is just not an activity I feel comfortable doing all
day.

------
sethx
Software engineer here. I've been working on meaningless and emotionally
unrewarding project for the last 2 years. Running burnout self-tests this
morning yielded me the second most critical level, but still worthy of "act
immediately" or "seek medical attention". I feel pretty down and my dayjob is
meaningless to me.

I'm considering taking a sick leave till the end of my contract next month,
and am wondering this:

If burnout is caused by lack of emotional reward and lack of giving a f*ck,
should i pick up a sideproject I've committed to that i kind of care about
instead, and think is interesting? Or ditch that as well and just take rest/go
travel? Can i still work while recovering? What's a good workload?

~~~
ahartman00
"I feel pretty down and my dayjob is meaningless to me"

Do you have hobbies? There's many to choose from :) Ask yourself, what does
have meaning to you? There is more to life than a job.

"should i pick up a sideproject I've committed to that i kind of care about
instead, and think is interesting?"

This might be a good idea. If you would find it meaningful and emotionally
rewarding.

"Or ditch that as well and just take rest/go travel?"

Is there someplace you have always wanted to go? Rest is good, but it sounds
like you aren't overworked, as much as just not being stimulated. As far as I
can tell.

"Can i still work while recovering? What's a good workload?"

If you have the savings, I wouldn't.

"I'm considering taking a sick leave till the end of my contract next month"

If you absolutely need to. But it might mean not getting a good reference. Can
you stick it out(assuming you dont already have another lined up)?

------
rjeli
Why do I never read articles targeted at other high-stress jobs (lawyer, med
student, etc etc)? Do software engineers have a unique culture that identifies
this danger? Or are we the only ones that get burned out, maybe because of
some self-selection into the field?

~~~
chatmasta
Probably just confirmation bias given the fact that a) you mostly read
articles/blogs targeted at SWE professionals, and b) software engineers are
far more likely to blog about their career experience than any other
profession.

I'm sure if you read some trade magazines targeted at lawyers, etc you'd find
similar sentiments.

Another, slightly more cynical interpretation is that software engineers are
"special snowflakes" who are much more likely than legal/financial/medical
professionals to complain about long hours and/or burnout. Interestingly those
three professions all have gruelingly long hours and require you to "pay your
dues" early in you career. Yet those professionals seem to complain far less,
perhaps because the long hours are an expected part of their culture. After
all, in finance people typically _brag_ about how long they stayed at the
office. So there is clearly some difference in work culture between the
professions.

~~~
existencebox
I somewhat agree with your cynical interpretation, but I might tweak it a
little bit to be more forgiving: It's a matter of expectations. SWE work, for
the most part over the last 20-30 years, (until very recently, at least to my
eyes) has been perceived as "creative", almost "artistic" work, whereas the
day to day is much much more in line with some weird combination of banking
(often high stress, shifting goals, high impact of externalities, one small
cog in a giant machine) and blue collar production work. This not even
counting the drastic shifts I've seen in the last 5-10 years to commoditize
SWE work. (not a value judgement, just an observation)

Most of my friends and family who went into finance did so knowing what they
were getting into, some even _wanting_ that. It definitely cultivates a
different culture and set of expectations. (There are definitely some CSers I
knew who love the grind, but I don't think I'm making a stretch to assert they
were the minority, and often were within a specific slice of CS that requires
that more similar culture)

------
Karupan
As someone recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety, this stuck a chord.
For me the hardest step was to prioritize my health over my job and force
myself to get help.

Fortunately, have some savings like the author and am taking a break for a
while. Thanks for this timely post!

------
BertPhoo
How timely; last night I typed 'how to recover from burnout' into google.
Thank you.

------
chmike
This is very interesting. The site is nice but I miss the opportunity to
provide feedback to the author. It's frustrating.

To recover from a burnout I have seen that it can be helpful to keep track of
achievements. In depression or burnout very simple things become very
exhausting. Keeping track of the little things we manage to achieve are like
small victories. When we measure and display in a graphic all the things we
achieved, we objectivate things and see progress which give back trust and
power. It's a vertuous circle. Objectivation is important because we tend to
see only the negative side of things, and especially ourselves.

------
abhi152
I feel that this is a over simplified version of a much deeper problem and
cannot be concluded based on the experience of the Author alone. There are
many things that cause burnout and many different reasons that cause
depression. In the case of author the Work did it but there are people in this
world who get burnt out because of sickness of their loved ones or even
because of ambition & their vision. Interestingly the word depression is not
even mentioned in the article.

------
saral
This has certainly been eye-opening read for me. I believe a lot of us can
relate to the traits mentioned in the blog, this will lead us to take
necessary steps at the right time.

>Burnout offers a hidden silver lining.

In the end this is what leads to satisfaction in life.

------
6841iam
the author of the post really grabbed my attention for his slick copy to get
my to sign up for his mailing list. as soon as you get on the list he has a
link to a tweet he wants you to RT. excellent copy, very good marketing and
product skills. I'm going to be following this author because he could be onto
something.

------
noyes
The reason you are suffering is because you aren't living your life based on
an understanding of your predicament.

Fool me once shame on you and fool me twice shame on me. So don't get fooled
again. And don't forget to remind yourself it's all just a stupid game. Just
like musical chairs.

------
draw_down
Everything in that list is happening for me right now, with perhaps the
exception of the mismatch between my values and my company's. I tell my
manager about it and he has been trying to rearrange things to try to help me,
but I feel like there is probably a reason things got to be this shitty, and
that reason will probably keep on happening. I don't know what to do. My last
workplace was bad in many of the same ways, and I don't feel like I have the
energy to enter into yet another employment situation brimming with optimism,
only to have it turn into the suck once again.

~~~
kevindqc
Same. I guess my only option is to take months off, but can't really afford
to...

~~~
kierantie
Taking months off isn't the only option. It's just one way of buying you
enough headspace to begin to see what the true problem is. Identifying the
cause is the first step - then you can start to take small steps towards
fixing that specific problem/s. Even small things, like turning off your phone
when you leave work for the day, or taking a walk outside on your lunch break,
can help a lot.

------
notadoc
Take a vacation / break, refocus on personal priorities. Learn what makes you
happy, and do that - at least outside of work.

------
backpropaganda
If any of you are suffering from depression, you should seriously try
microdosing LSD.

~~~
lr4444lr
While I'm sure there are a few causes of depression and contextual life events
and personalities for which LSD might be useful, it's downright irresponsible
to suggest that "if _any_ reader" suffers from depression he should turn to
narcotics.

~~~
backpropaganda
I'm not saying I have the study to show that LSD can help with any depression,
but do you have any evidence that it only helps with certain kinds? (I know,
burden of proof is on me)

The reason my advice isn't irresponsible is because microdosing LSD has no
downsides. If it doesn't work, nothing breaks. Try something else then.

Depression is a real life-killer, and if 10 people tried my advice, and this
worked for only 1 of them (although I think at least 5 would), then this
advice has essentially saved 1 life, while not harming the others.

~~~
lr4444lr
Even if it _could_ help them, there are risks[0], and in most jurisdictions,
LSD is a highly restricted drug which doctors cannot prescribe
therapeutically, so there is no guarantee of dose or purity. People with
severe depression who would entertain this seriously are already prone to
impulsive behavior and cognitive difficulties. The suggestion is
irresponsible.

[0]
[https://medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000795.htm](https://medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000795.htm)

