
Since MeToo, the Number of Men Who Are Uncomfortable Mentoring Women Has Tripled - akerro
http://fortune.com/2018/02/06/lean-in-sheryl-sandberg/
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sunstone
Yeah no kidding. This is a risk no longer worth taking.

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brad0
Here’s an interesting thought experiment. What happens if this continues?

Women become increasingly excluded as management avoid them to protect
themselves.

As a result less women go into/stay in the workforce. Chances are they can’t
progress or be included so why bother?

This extends to outside of work too. Men will no longer approach women.
There’s too many risks for men.

We have a population of men who avoid interacting with women on professional
and personal environments.

We have women who are seen as a major risk. Self esteem plummets and they have
little self worth.

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redspectre
I'm a male at a tech company, and since the #METOO incident, I have taken
defensive steps to ensure I am not embroiled in any career-ending accusations
of sexual harassment.

I have: \- avoided directly talking to female coworkers other than "hello, top
of the morning to you"-style greetings, unless I am forced to during meetings.
I do not want anything I say to be taken out of context, whether it be a joke,
a comment, or a discussion. It may seem cold, but this is my career and
livelyhood on the line. To me, having female friends at work is not worth the
risk of potentially losing my career. \- Never be caught alone with a female
coworker unless the situation is being recorded, at least via audio. I record
on my phone every conversation that is not exchanging pleasantries for my
protection. My state is a one-party wiretapping law state, so I am covered
legally. \- If I am forced to be alone with a female coworker during business
travel, I bring a handheld recorder with battery life measured in days and
record every minute of our time together. \- I do not offer help to female
coworkers unless asked via chat or email.

These may seem like extreme measures, but even just the accusation of sexual
harassment can cause the end of a career. I love my job too much to sacrifice
it for the minor benefit of being friends with females at work.

I also find it interesting how I am supposed to be the one to #mentorher, when
I am the only one set to lose anything in this exchange. I can lose my time,
my job, or even my career in the blink of an eye. For what? So I can earn
feel-good points from people who don't give a hoot about me and would surely
mock me behind my back, were a female I was trying to mentor make a false
accusation? Maybe I will have a brigade of people on social media release my
private info to the internet, as has happened in some cases.

So no, Mrs. Sandberg, I will not #mentorher. I will not take all the risk for
the marginal benefit of making female friends at work. It's just too dangerous
of a position to take. As a non-rich white male, working in the tech industry,
I can say I already feel hated for just existing. So honestly, just shove off,
don't ask me to do any extra work while risking my career, and leave me alone
to program in peace.

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jjeaff
Your behavior seems to be formulated as if there is a huge issue of "false"
accusations going on within the metoo movement. I haven't seen anything to
make me think that there is a serious risk of being falsely accused.

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dmitrygr
One false accusations is enough.

ExpectedValueOfSaidMentoring = -inf * chanceFalseAccusation + negligiblySmall
* (1 - chanceFalseAccusation)

This is what OP meant.

Chance need not be huge. Anything times negative inf is negative inf. Your
career will be hurt by any false accusations, no matter how unlikely. Your
family won't care how unlikely the accusation that ended their livelihood was.

~~~
jjeaff
In that case, I wholeheartedly disagree that mentoring people, especially very
talented ones, be they women or men has little or no value for one's career
and/or life.

Staying in your own little homogeneous bubble and avoid contact with anyone
not like you or doing anything outside what objectively gives you direct,
measurable value seems like a surefire way to stagnate your career.

And the chance of a false accusation has always been around. So to act so
indignant now seems more to throw water on the movement than to truly be
worried about your personal career progress.

~~~
dmitrygr
Ok. It has a lot of value. A lot is finite. Negative inf is still overpowering
in that equation. That's the point OP made that you seem to be trying very
hard to avoid addressing.

~~~
jjeaff
Because "negative infinity" is just hyperbole in this case. Some careers have
been harmed or even destroyed, but we aren't seeing accused men wondering the
streets homeless just yet (or whatever you want to equate to the most terrible
outcome).

~~~
dmitrygr
Yeah? So where are they currently employed? Homelessness takes time to reach
after your income goes to zero. It's not instant. But it is certain

~~~
jjeaff
Most that have been reported in the news are wealthy enough to retire in
comfort already. Beyond that, I'm not sure there is a huge number of non-
public people losing their jobs over accusations (especially false ones).

