
Ask HN: How do you start spending money? - rusty__
I don&#x27;t know how to spend money.<p>Growing up in a family that wasn’t exactly poor but never had much spare money to go around we lived within our means and sometimes tightened our belts and went without. I’m incredibly grateful to my parents for raising me in a way to not waste money or live ostentatiously.<p>I wear the same basic t-shirt, jeans and sneakers type combo everyday and have no need to upgrade to $300 jeans or $100 extra soft cotton t shirts. My OnePlus3T still works great. I go on a road trip vacation every year and explore a foreign country every few years. I don’t really have the work schedule that allows for 1+ month long vacations or multiple trips abroad each year. I like to cook and have some good equipment for that but don’t see the value of upgrading to fancy saucepans and skillets when my $30 cast iron works great. I live in a nice apartment in a city that has public transport.<p>The point i’m making is I have enough. Yet as I watch my bank balance grow as I earn this typical tech-job salary that I could have only dreamed of 15 years ago I leave myself with the strange problem of not knowing how to spend money. I’ve cautiously asked friends about this kind of thing but “I’ll spend it for you!1!! hur dur” is obviously unhelpful. I’m really trying to not sound brattish as I know many people live pay check to pay check but I really feel like I actually might have some kind of phobia or aversion to spending money that could be developing in to a real problem.<p>I search online for something like “how to start spending money” and all I get are articles saying “how to stop spending money!” which apparently the rest of the world seems to be doing. I’m trying to do the opposite and start spending to enjoy the fruits of my hard work over all these years.<p>How do you adjust your lifestyle as your salary grows and you find yourself in the incredibly fortunate position of being able to upgrade to more when you don’t really need&#x2F;want to?
======
muzani
Don't. You are happy. Learning to spend more only makes you want to spend
more. It's not much better than doing drugs.

I bought a nice gaming rig once and it's only made me unhappier - it meant I
had to buy good looking games which I didn't really want, take time off to
play, etc.

Personally, what's given me the best money to happiness ratio is donating. You
don't have to put it all in one place. Give to many people. I love getting
letters back from people who have received my donations. I once bought a
platinum sponsorship for an education event where they read our sponsor names
and put the name as "MY NAME IS JON CENA".

You can also do something like buy a thing on Humble Bundle and put a link to
your favorite thing. I actually made a good friend this way who stumbled
across a little ad.

You'd also be surprised how few people donate. It's easy to hit top 10% of
something because the bar is so low. Get a VIP seat at a charity dinner. Meet
other cool people who give a lot.

~~~
rusty__
Yeh I think the potential of a spiral is real and I'm conscious of that. I've
never really donated at all but that is something I want to look at doing if
it can really make a difference.

------
sloaken
There is nothing wrong with not wasting money. That said, you should avoid
being a miser.

I faced that problem years ago. A few things I did was:

1) find a charity that you believe in. I recommend looking at web sites that
rate charities.

2) Develop some hobbies. Explore life. I took up bicycling and ball room
dance.

3) keep avoiding $300 jeans, people who do that have more money than brains.

4) make sure your spare money is wisely invested. In the US I recommend people
go with Vanguard

~~~
rusty__
As we enter the winter months taking up a couple more hobbies and making sure
every evening is filled with an enriching activity (even if that's tv!) is a
goal for me coming up.

------
shoo
One perspective is that money is just fuel that can (perhaps) help you get
where you're going. Where do you want to go?

If you haven't, maybe set some big picture long term goals. What do you want
your life to be like in e.g. 1, 5, 10, 20, 30 years? How do you want to be
spending your time? Do any of those goals have financial requirements or
influence what you would spend money on?

> I go on a road trip vacation every year and explore a foreign country every
> few years. I don’t really have the work schedule that allows for 1+ month
> long vacations or multiple trips abroad each year

Maybe you're in a situation where you have an abundance of cash but a shortage
of large blocks of free time. Do you have any opportunities to exchange cash
for time? Does your employer offer unpaid leave? Can you change your job for
one that doesn't generate as much cash but let's you do what you want 2 months
per year?

~~~
mooreds
> One perspective is that money is just fuel that can (perhaps) help you get
> where you're going. Where do you want to go?

This is the work of adulthood once basic needs are met.

Questions like "who do I want to be", "what do I want to do", and "how do I
want to be remembered" are hard ones, but if you take the time to figure out
your answers (which, by the way, can change over time), you'll find ways to
spend your money and time.

------
seanwilson
> How do you adjust your lifestyle as your salary grows and you find yourself
> in the incredibly fortunate position of being able to upgrade to more when
> you don’t really need/want to?

Aim to retire early so you can spend time on things you enjoy instead of
working? Not being drawn into throwing your money away on stuff you don't need
because you think it'll make you happy and living a sustainable low waste life
is a great thing.

------
wayoverthecloud
Invest in experiences rather than physical products is what I would say. Maybe
travel. Go paragliding. Scuba diving.

~~~
rusty__
I'd love to try paragliding one day!

------
sloped
Start a budget.

That might sound odd, but a budget isn't just a way to limit your
spending/saving, it's a way to prioritize it. Choose some things you want to
explore spending money on and budget for that. Then when you have saved enough
do it. It could be an experience, a new set of saucepans(seriously, upgrade
your pans if you enjoy cooking! You'll still love your cast iron but you'll be
able to do so much more), a trip, or a donation.

I somewhat agree with other commenters who are saying don't change, but you
clearly want to. So setting up a budget to allow yourself the permission to
spend the money you are earning in ways that make sense to you seems like one
possible solution.

------
askafriend
Keep it around as insurance. Don't spend money because you feel like you have
to.

If you keep it around, then it'll give you the freedom to quit your job when
it becomes a pain in the ass, or take some time off when you feel like you
need to, or to be able to weather bumpy market conditions when others might
struggle.

It's life insurance. Don't be afraid to spend it when the time comes, but
don't feel obligated to find a reason because you're bored.

Personally, I've never regretted using money to get back more time or
investing in my health (buying better quality food, for example).

------
codingdave
Don't - once you start spending money, your lifestyle becomes dependent on
that spending. If you are happy with your simpler life, don't feel bad for
being happy. Just keep doing what you are doing.

Many people with money and more extravagant spending habits end up asking the
opposite question - "How do I simplify things?"

As far as enjoying the fruits of your hard work, I'd recommend enjoying it by
retiring young. Or, if you are more of an idealist, contribute to projects and
organizations that you believe are helping the world

------
tikej
If I had more money that I wanted to spend I will probably invest in some "buy
it for life" things. There is a subreddit for that. Things such as: high
quality bike, kitchen appliances, leather bag, fountain pen etc. that will
last so I could use them for significant amount of my life.

I would prefer to buy higher quality items that don't need to be replaced as
often (or rather never) but the initial investment cost is unfortunately
unbearable for grad student.

------
CyberFonic
Perhaps you don't need to spend. People who spend far more than you also limit
their future options. AFAIK very few people aspire to live their entire lives
working in a succession of jobs.

Have you considered simply investing your surplus income and finding where
your passion lies? Once you know what you want to do far more than shuffling
off to work everyday, then you will have the capital with which to follow your
dream life.

~~~
rusty__
early retirement is definitely on my radar. But I do love my job and if I
'had' to I would be happy doing it all the way in to my 60s I'm sure. Who
knows what the future holds that far out obviously.

I do put money away in to investments like WealthSimple and a couple of
Vanguard funds. I slightly worry passive investing is a bit lazy and won't
return what everyone expects it to in the short-medium term so research some
smaller cap investments.

------
csomar
It's delusional. I tried that and failed and regretted it. By the time the
money is spent, the happiness is gone.

> I’m trying to do the opposite and start spending to enjoy the fruits of my
> hard work over all these years.

You are approaching it the wrong way. It's like having a solution looking for
a problem. If you don't feel the need for something, you don't need it.

> How do you adjust your lifestyle as your salary grows and you find yourself
> in the incredibly fortunate position of being able to upgrade to more when
> you don’t really need/want to?

Don't upgrade to more. I regretted upgrading to more even though I could
afford it. By the time you upgrade, you realize that it's more of an overhead
than anything else.

> Yet as I watch my bank balance grow as I earn this typical tech-job salary
> that I could have only dreamed of 15 years ago

This, right over here. Start investing your money into diversified assets
(bonds, stocks, real estate, risky ventures, etc...). That will keep your
money tied up so you don't think about spending it. If the investment works
out greatly, you can now leave your job and start traveling around the world
in 5* hotels.

~~~
rusty__
I think planning for an early retirement and more luxurious travel later in
life is a good target and locking up money is something I am already doing and
I guess feels like 'spending' money that way.

------
p0d
I try to tithe, or give away, 10% of my earnings. The Bible teaches tithing as
good practice. For me the 10% is just a guide. The money I give away is split
between my church and individuals/organisations working with the poor. I must
say that doing this gives me much joy. Even though I am only giving away
little by our standards this can be a lot in other parts of the world.

------
Xeago
I face this same situation too. Grew up with pass it down things for clothes,
toys and everything. Didn’t have a phone until 2011; we simply lived a life in
which we didn't develop a need. Now that I have one some parts of my life are
happier, others are more grim..

Now I find myself not knowing how to shop for clothes, I wore what fit.
Difficulty to find entertainment, we helped around the house as parents were
working more to come around.

Now I try saying yes. Someone wants to try wakeboarding, climbing, you-name-
it? I’ll set up for an instructor and rental gear. Someone likes a theater
show, I’ll buy an extra ticket. A friend of mine had a hard drive breakdown,
did some tinkering and couldn’t recover it myself. I made them a gift that
teaches how to do backups, with the equipment to do so. Essentially just a new
external drive and some instructions to use the OS included software to
backup, so it wouldn’t happen again. This included a platter-for-platter
recovery of all the pictures that surprised her after the slightly salty thou-
shall-do-backups rubbing.

Hardest thing for me is to replace broken things. 'They work fine', but I
spend three times as long doing the thing. Admittedly, it's a thing I like so
I don't mind spending the extra time, hehe, but a partner in life might not
find the same enjoyment of using the broken thing. Avoid becoming angry
because you failed to get something done within one rental-unit, it's not
worth to be angry for.

Being at home(s) tends to be cheaper than being outside home(s). With you
raising this concern, try to avoid thinking whether something is worth it
before giving it a try. It’s okay to be impulse driven, you will learn from an
experience. Do what makes you happy, being at home is totally fine. :-)

I now focus much more on experiences (let's go wakeboarding!) instead of
objects/belongings (new phone w/ airpods). I find experiences make more than
just myself happy and that makes me even happier! :D

------
oldme83749823
Get married.

Seriously your description of your lifestyle is very similar to how I used to
live. I used to spend money on food and going out regularly. I did buy a few
expensive items like DSLR camera, PS3, TV, laptop, etc. But it was well below
my income.

When I traveled, I went to visit my friends and crashed on their couches.

I think all my expenses added up to less than a 1/3rd of my income.

And it wasn't that I won't get excited about new products, I would read
reviews, watch YouTube videos, visit stores for hands on experience but then
in the end, I would decide it wasn't worth the hype.

I did spend on experiences like sky diving, but mostly less intense
experiences like kayaking, massages, etc. Still there were few and would not
make significant dent in my savings.

I just didn't know how to spend money nor I had desire to spend money.

\---

After getting married, we learned that we had very different view of money.
She bought stuff without research. She was totally okay to throw stuff in the
back of closet and never touch it again.

I was naturally minimalist without realizing it. Every time I bought
something, I not only considered how much it cost, but how space it takes,
where it will go, etc.

Initially it was tough but we worked through it and found a compromise. This
taught me how to spend money without feeling like that I am wasting it.

I am joking about getting married but here are a few things about spending
money I have learned from my wife:

* Go on a nice vacation and stay in a luxury hotel. There is a huge difference in quality of service. They make you feel like a king or queen and that feeling is worth having every once in a while.

* Buy things at full retail price and then if you don't like them, donate instead of selling. Less stress and you feel good about giving. Applies to clothes too.

* Go to your local museums, zoos, art shows.

------
japhyr
Everyone seems to be telling you not to spend money, but you already sound
pretty grounded in that. You are right not to start spending $300 on jeans and
$100 on shirts, because those areas of your life are good enough. You don't
want to spend money frivolously, but you also don't want to die with a pile of
hoarded money.

What do you enjoy doing? If you enjoy cycling, you can afford a nicer, lighter
bike with higher end components. Do you enjoy listening to music? You can
afford a higher-quality sound system. Playing music? You can afford a nicer
instrument or set of instruments.

------
reducesuffering
Help the other 99% that aren't as fortunate [https://80000hours.org/problem-
profiles/](https://80000hours.org/problem-profiles/)

------
Jack000
I grew up poor and never had luxuries. In retrospect I believe this is
pathological and damaging.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

\- when buying computers/phones/shoes/etc just forget the price and get the
one you really want

\- trade your money for time, it's the more valuable of the two (eg. hire a
house cleaning service)

\- eat out everyday (if it's something you enjoy, personally I hate cooking)

------
imhoguy
> I don’t really have the work schedule that allows for 1+ month long
> vacations or multiple trips abroad each year.

I try to buy more time now. Negotiating less work hours is hard but 3 or 4 day
weekends are great. Saving is wise too but God knows if bus hits me before
retirement. Enjoy life!

------
investor122
You don't need to, rather you should focus on learning about investing and
start putting your money there. We live in a capitalist society but the vast
majority of people are purely consumers and not capitalists. People like us
who accumulate extra capital get the chance the actually be capitalists and
grow the money. The way you talk about your approach to money reminds me of my
own approach and honestly it's fairly rare as many people are conditioned to
keep raising their spending as their income grows. Reaching a level where you
have enough and don't desire more but still have plenty extra capital means
you can start investing for the future. Keep in mind things will change as you
get older, eventually you may not want to work a regular job, etc and only
people who achieve financial freedom have this option. Personally, I started
out with a big passion for software development but at this point I'm pretty
burnt out on it. Fortunately I have been frugal and saved / invested a lot
over my career to where I have a realistic chance of living solely off my
investment activities at some point in the future.

------
enjoyitasus
Save it. Then save some more. If you have more leftover, save some more.

Sounds like you are enjoying the fruits of life already and the way you
described your spending sounds like you're enjoying it.

------
burntoutfire
Save a nice amount and retire early.

------
p1esk
Get married and have kids.

------
dave84
Check out the financialindependence subreddit.

------
uptownfunk
Use it to help people

