

If Only: FizzBin, a secret code to get better tech support - zcrar70
http://www.hanselman.com/blog/FizzBinTheTechnicalSupportSecretHandshake.aspx

======
nopassrecover
I noticed this comment: "When I reapply to jobs, I intend to put something
similar on my resume, upper right corner.

What exactly is still up in the air, but perhaps something like a[5] == 5[a],
More Magic, or 0x5f3759d5."

I get that "More Magic" is from this story
(<http://catb.org/esr/jargon/html/magic-story.html>) and that "0x5f3759d5" is
from Quake's Fast Inverse Square Root code
([http://betterexplained.com/articles/understanding-quakes-
fas...](http://betterexplained.com/articles/understanding-quakes-fast-inverse-
square-root/)).

I think a Steve Yegge post mentioned the equivalence of the a[5] == 5[a]
principle but I can't seem to find any reference online expanding on this -
anyone care to elaborate on this principle and/or possibly link the post if it
actually exists?

~~~
ivey
My C is really weak (I'm a Ruby guy) but here's the best I can do.

Two things make this work: 1, in C, an array can be treated like a pointer
that points to the first element of the array. 2, pointers have a subscript
notation.

That is, for a pointer p, p[i] is the same is * (p + i). (where pointer
addition goes by sizeof the thing pointed to).

So, a[5] is really * (a + 5) ... and 5[a] is * (5 + a). Same thing, although
5[a] looks really weird and will make people hate you if you use it.

<http://www.ibiblio.org/pub/languages/fortran/append-c.html> was helpful in
reminding me of the specifics, since I couldn't find my K&R.

~~~
nopassrecover
Awesome thanks :-)

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thaumaturgy
No, please don't do this. I've worked on both sides of tech support, and
simply saying "FizzBin" or any other silly phrase doesn't give either party
any actual information about the other's knowledge.

I use Firefox -> FizzBin I am a Firefox developer -> FizzBin

I know what an ethernet card is -> FizzBin I advised IEEE on ethernet
communications -> FizzBin

I am a brilliant electrical engineer -> FizzBin I am a brilliant electrical
engineer that doesn't understand software at all and I have a huge chip on my
shoulder too -> FizzBin

NO.

The "geek handshake" is far simpler, and more informative. When calling, tell
the technician everything you've already done to diagnose / troubleshoot the
problem, using whatever terminology you're comfortable with:

"Hi, I'm having a weird problem with this DSL connection, it's a new
connection and I've got a sync/no-surf on the modem. The VCI and VPI settings
look like they're correct, they're 0/35. The computer can connect to the modem
just fine. I have no DNS and no ping to a known good IP."

If the technician then says, "OK sir, and have you tried restarting the
computer?", then you know you're dealing with an idiot. Escalate it.

If the technician says, "OK, well I can get an ATM ping to your line so it
looks like a faulty unit, we'll ship you another one", then you're done.

I've used this for years.

~~~
pavel_lishin
Not to mention, what happens when inevitably idiots with delusions of
competence catch on and everyone from Granny to Clueless IT Manager start
saying it reflexively.

------
raganwald
Since we find unintended consequences interesting, I'll suggest that Fizzbin
(which is a Trekkie reference, natch) will not work as Scott suggests.

Tech support workers are crowded into cubicle farms and pressured to process
as many tickets per hour as possible, with managers applying brutal metrics
and quotas to them. Their incentive is to get off the phone quickly.

A nerd on the other end of the phone will be perceived as a demanding, chatty
customer who will not go along meekly with whatever the tech suggests, but who
will instead challenge every suggestion and insist on complicated and time-
consuming investigations.

Therefore, I predict that the moment you utter the code word, the tech will
get you off the phone by any means necessary, including blatant lies or
accidentally hanging up on you in the hope that when you call back you will
torture another tech.

~~~
thaumaturgy
I'd guess that to only be true if the tech isn't also a nerd.

Nerd-to-nerd communications usually run at full duplex with compression on.

------
zacharydanger
This goes both ways, you never know if the technician knows what their talking
about or if they're just another dolt reading from a script.

