
Stone: Leonardo da Vinci's Resume - alexjmann
http://www.cenedella.com/stone/archives/2010/01/leonardo_da_vincis_resume.html
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edw519
If it worked for Leonardo da Vinci, maybe it could work for me. The next time
I'm looking for a job, I'll try this:

"Most Illustrious Proprietor, Having now sufficiently considered the specimens
of all those who proclaim themselves skilled developers of applications of
business, and that the invention and operation of the said programs are
nothing different from those in common use: I shall endeavor, without
prejudice to any one else, to explain myself to your Company, showing your
Management my secret, and then offering them to your best pleasure and
approbation to work with effect at opportune moments on all those things
which, in part, shall be briefly noted below.

1\. I have a sort of extremely light and strong functions and modules, adapted
to be most easily ftp'd, and with them you may pursue, and at any time combine
them with others, secure and indestructible by standard mean time to failure
of hardware and denial of service, easy and convenient to compile and catalog.
Also methods of unzipping and storing the data of the customers.

2\. I know how, when a website is besieged, to shard data onto the cloud, and
make endless variety of mirrors, and fault tolerant disks and RAIDs, and other
machines pertaining to such concerns.

3\. If, by reason of the volume of the data, or the structure of the btrees
and its indexes, it is impossible, when conducting a search, to avail oneself
of sub-second response time, I have methods for benchmarking every process or
other function, even if it were interpreted, etc.

4\. Again, I have kinds of functions; most convenient and easy to ftp; and
with these I can spawn lots of data almost resembling a torrent; and with the
download of these cause great terror to the competitor, to his great detriment
and confusion.

5\. And if the processing should be on the desktop I have apps of many
machines most efficient for data entry and reporting; and utilities which will
satisfy the needs of the most demanding customers and users and consumers.

6\. I have means by secret and tortuous scripts and modules, made without
leaving tracks, to generate source code, even if it were needed to run on a
client or a server.

7\. I will make secure firewalls, safe and unattackable, which, entering among
the hackers with their utilities, there is no body of crackers so great but
they would break them. And behind these, software could run quite unhurt and
without any hindrance.

8\. In case of need I will make big properties, methods, and collections and
useful forms, out of the common type.

9\. Where the operation of compiling might fail, I would contrive scripts,
functions, routines, and other parameter driven processes of marvellous
efficacy and not in common use. And in short, according to the variety of
cases, I can contrive various and endless means of data entry, reporting, and
storage.

10\. In times of low revenue I believe I can give perfect satisfaction and to
the equal of any other in maintenance and the refactoring of code public and
private; and in guiding data from one warehouse to another.

11\. I can carry out code in Javascript, PHP, or C, and also I can do in
network administration whatever may be done, as well as any other, be he who
he may.

Again, the intranet app may be taken in hand, which is to be to the immortal
glory and eternal honor of all your customers of happy memory, and of the
illustrious house of Google.

And if any of the above-named things seem to anyone to be impossible or not
feasible, I am most ready to make the experiment in your data center, or in
whatever place may please your Businessperson - to whom I comment myself with
the utmost humility, etc."

~~~
yan
Next time the Duke of Pittsburgh needs to create a CRM solution, you will have
a resume at the ready!

