

Ask HN: How to hack after Marriage - prtamil

A Single Programmer About to get Married. How do i still keep hacking or create startup after Marriage. Any Tips , Ideas.
Timing Schedules , Stressful Strategy  etc...
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dutchrapley
After marriage isn't the hard part. It's once you have kids that it gets
harder.

That being said, I'll address what it's like after marriage.

If you're like me, you probably view hacking as a form of 1) entertainment and
2) continuous self education.

Make sure his/her needs are being met. Eat dinner together, every night. Set
aside (at least) one evening for him/her each week. Do something fun as least
one weekend a month.

Don't sacrifice his/her time for hacking. Do look at setting aside other
activities that aren't really important if hacking is more important to you
(i.e. golf, playing video games, watching tv, Skyrim, Minecraft, etc.).

Keep communication open. Let him/her know what you're working on as well as
why it's important. Use him/her as a sounding board for your ideas. It keeps
him/her involved and informed. Also, focus on point #2 above.

More than likely, he/she will have times that he/she likes to read, watch tv,
or go out with friends. You'll find that those times are also valuable for
hacking. When you do hack, try to be in the same room and sitting on the couch
next to him/her, rather than being down the hall, away at a coffee shop or
somewhere else.

To recap: 1) make sure his/her needs are being met, 2) don't be selfish with
your hacking time, 3) always keep communication open, 4) be visible.

Good luck!

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prtamil
thanks man

~~~
dougbarrett
And congratulations! Being married is the beginning of the greatest thing that
will ever happen to you!

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1123581321
Frankly if it's important to you you two should have already talked about this
to make sure your spouse supports the hours and the craziness of it. If you
haven't you need to start talking about that now. And you need to be sure
you're serious about it and not just messing around.

~~~
dougbarrett
This is the best advice here. I just got married in November, and my wife and
I discussed my programming habits outside of work. I have a few hours of
downtime during the week and weekends where my wife is off to work before I
begin work that I am able to hack around with stuff, and for me, that is
enough time.

Your priorities change when you're married though. You're wife wants, and
deserves your attention. She has given her life to you, and the well being of
her life and the family you are starting falls on your shoulders.

Once I got married, if I wasn't able to somehow profit off of the little
projects I was working on, I dropped them. If the project was a dream of mine
to finish, and I really wanted to do it, I figured out how to do it in such a
way that it'd be financially wise to finish it so I could make a profit off of
it in the future.

Since being married and having this state of mind, I am bringing in some extra
money every month by still doing what I love to do.

~~~
danellis
There's something wrong in a marriage if you can't maintain a hobby unless it
makes a profit.

~~~
zubr1768
Agreed. And something wrong with the hobby as well. Hacking is one of the
least cost-intensive hobbies that one can pursue. Try sailing...

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hbien
Waking up ~2 hours early before anyone else to hack/create works for me. Then
leave the evenings to enjoy with your significant other. =]

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kellros
It's a lot more responsibility, but if your future wife is supportive it will
actually be a lot easier (if she brings dem coffee!) :)

