

Ask HN: How do you calm down? - wallawe

I find myself always feeling the need to be doing something, occupying my mind with some sort of productive thinking, reading, etc incessantly.<p>But I feel like this has left me an anxious and slightly impatient person where any "blank" time I can't enjoy because I feel the need to get back to doing something, anything. I have trouble finding joy in small talk even with my significant other. My parents have always been this way as well, we can never just sit and relax, it's always about getting things done. In fact, I am writing this post while waiting on fast food.<p>How much down time do you find is necessary daily or weekly just to relax? How do you do it? It seems there are endless articles on HN about being more productive but we often don't think about the opposite end of the spectrum. Does anyone have similar experiences and what advice do you have if so?
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davyjones
A long time ago, my yoga instructor suggested this:

Light a candle in a dark room, sit a few feet away from it and focus your eyes
on it. Do not blink. After a while, your eyes might start welling up but fight
hard not to blink. On the mental level, do not think about anything. Just
concentrate on your breathing and the light in front of you.

Something like 5-10 mins should be fine in the initial stages. I haven't tried
beyond that. Also, make sure you are decently hydrated throughout the day
before starting on this exercise.

Good luck.

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wallawe
Thanks, I'll give it a shot. Couldn't hurt. What is the intended result?
Clarity/peace of mind?

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davyjones
Something like that. YMMV.

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Mz
My mom is a workaholic and cannot stand to sit still. The minute she quit work
to take care of my elderly father full time she promptly began painting and
wallpapering the house. I am wired much the same but a medical condition has
forced me to learn to deal constructively with downtime.

A few thoughts:

I think this is driven in part by high IQ and is rooted in boredom. Finding a
means to adequately feed/challenge your mind seems to help.

Deal with any underlying personal issues you have. I do not think keeping busy
is a problem per se but it can turn into one if it winds up being an avoidance
thing.

Try different environments and see if that makes a difference. It does for
some people.

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wallawe
Thanks for the advice. I agree 100% about the IQ and boredom thing. Sometimes
I envy people who can sit around and do nothing and be completely satisfied.
But that's never been me.

I too have a medical condition (epilepsy) which has pretty dire consequences
if I don't get an adequate amount of down time and sleep. So this has become
quite a problem at times.

Thanks again though, I think I'll give the different environment approach a
try.

