
Ask HN: How to handle getting upset at work? - frendlewal
I often get upset at work after making a mistake. No matter how small the mistake is.<p>For example, I reply to an email but I was mistaken&#x2F;didn&#x27;t reply in the way the recipient wanted.  They cc&#x27;d in my boss saying &quot;I think my original email was very clear.&quot;<p>It was a Friday afternoon and I was in tears.  I decided to go home and sleep on it, thinking I&#x27;d feel better in a day or two.<p>It happened to be a long weekend, and by the time Tuesday rolled around I couldn&#x27;t face going back into work.  I resigned and never went back to the office.<p>Obviously, looking back on things this seems to be something of an over-reaction.  I went to a doctor and a therapist and got a clean bill of health.<p>I don&#x27;t expect most people&#x27;s experiences are quite as extreme as mine, but I wondered what techniques people have for when they make a mistake at work (big or small) or have some other negative experience.
======
mnbuildx
Getting annoyed at work used to happen to me reasonably often (startups =
intense..). I actually built a very simple web app that had mindfulness
exercises to help me calm down and be less annoyed by little things in the
moment.

If you want to check it out:
[https://app.getserenity.app/](https://app.getserenity.app/)

I made it a web app so that it was convenient to use at work without having to
go find a conference room or somewhere quiet to cool down. You can just pop it
up on your phone or laptop.

------
always_left
Maybe a case of impostor syndrome? We all make mistakes, yours may seem way
worse because you replay it in your head and think of the worst case scenario
and everyone is embarrassed of you. What helps me is that I try to think of
all the benefits that I add to the company, if they're going to fire me over a
measly mistake then shame on them :)

Of course, this is easier said than done. I have pretty bad anxiety and it
took a lot of bad moments for me to realize "hmmm wait, I do a lot of good
work here"

------
coderintherye
Your initial action was the right one: step away from the problem, reset, and
give enough time for the body's response to dissipate.

However, when you step away you need to have tools and support systems that
allow you to escape the negative thoughts so you can walk back in after
without fear. Everyone has different tools for this so I hesitate to recommend
any one in particular as it is more just important that you find the tools
that work for you and have them available.

------
paktek123
Did the place you resigned from put lots of pressure on you? Were you afraid
of the consequences? Matters like this need to be taken seriously, try finding
out the root cause of why you acted like this, it could be your past. But
remember it is okay to cry and let your feelings out and do what you think to
protect your mental health. Try to understand the reason why you feel like
this then act on it. Get help from a mental health professional if required.

