
The Cab Ride I'll Never Forget - wolfden
http://www.zenmoments.org/the-cab-ride-ill-never-forget/
======
JshWright
I'm fortunate to have the opportunity to interact with many people in a
similar way.

I'm a volunteer EMT with the ambulance service in my town, with several
'assisted living' facilities in our district. My rough guess would be that
25-30% of the folks we take to the hospital are in the last year of their
life, and likely will spend the rest of their days in the facility where we
picked them up (with occasional 'field trips' to the ER).

While it's popular to complain about these sorts of calls (they certainly lack
the excitement of a car wreck, or the glamour of saving a child), I generally
enjoy them. Even in the grips of dementia, many of these people have
fascinating stories to tell. We're stuck together in the back of the truck for
20 minutes... I can either get a head start on my paperwork, or I can engage
them in conversation. In the past month, I've met a WW2 bomber pilot (who flew
in a pathfinder squadron) and a former Rockette (plus a schoolteacher, a
librarian, a surveyor, and several others I'm sure I've forgotten). I learned
something from each of them (well... most of them... grumpy old people are
still grumpy...).

The statement "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my
mother treated," really rang home for me. I've heard that same sentiment
(practically verbatim, just s/passengers/patients/) from several providers,
all of whom I regard very highly. I think it's one of the best predictors of
someone's ability as an EMS provider. While I know a few extremely capable
medics who have a lousy bedside manner, every medic I know who seems to
genuinely care about their patients is a top-notch medical provider.

~~~
blhack
Can you give any advice in becoming a volunteer emt? I've wanted to do this,
but have no idea how to start...

~~~
ljlolel
You have to get licensed as an EMT, I took this course, it's very good:
<https://www.cpc.mednet.ucla.edu/cpc/course/emt>

You can transfer licensure between states.

~~~
JshWright
A minor quibble... You're _certified_ as an EMT, not licensed.

~~~
ljlolel
Yes, the class certifies you, so you can get your license.

You have to be licensed to volunteer as an EMT, as I said.

------
anateus
What I took away from the story wasn't so much related to death, but rather
its great _visceral_ conveying of the point of the golden rule. The author
says he treated her like he would want his mother to be treated. Many of us
apply these sorts of rules, but we tend to do it much more rigorously with
people close to us, because they are already more similar, and thus fit easier
within the "do unto others" formulation (whether you use the positive or
negative).

It isn't great moments that catch us unaware as he says, it's that our life is
a constant stream of such moments, usually unbeknownst to us. It's only
occasionally that we _realize_ the sort of impact we have on those around us.

This story reminds me to continue applying these principles (within certain
limits, the golden rule isn't a moral panacea) to every interaction, including
the most incidental. The feelings expressed in the story are exactly the sort
from which I derive my compassion and which I use as the intuitive component
of my ethical reasoning. It reminds me to consider the side-effects of not
just my actions, but also how I express my internal states to others.

~~~
alecco
The golden rule has a serious problem of enabling sociopaths.

Only help people worth helping.

~~~
lancefisher
People like to argue against the golden rule, saying that if you are deranged,
it gives you license to hurt others. First, this is an edge case. Second, it
is out of context.

The golden rule was given by Jesus secondary to the command "Love the Lord
your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."

If you follow both those commands, you'll only do good to your fellow man.

~~~
alecco
> People like to argue against the golden rule, saying that if you are
> deranged, it gives you license to hurt others.

You are shifting the argument. That has nothing to do with my comment. Straw
man fallacy.

> The golden rule was given by Jesus secondary to the command "Love the Lord
> your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."

No, in the christian bible it says a man named Jesus gave a new commandment.
The "Golden Rule" is a generalization made in more recent times to try to find
a common ground across religions. And it's very vague as many religions are
closer to what's named as the "Silver Rule".

> If you follow both those commands, you'll only do good to your fellow man.

That's not on the bible and even if it were, it's your dogma book. You provide
me no proof it is that way. Not even a decent hypothesis.

~~~
sophacles
Small problem:

 _alleco: The golden rule has a serious problem of enabling sociopaths.

lancefisher: People like to argue against the golden rule, saying that if you
are deranged, it gives you license to hurt others.

alleco: You are shifting the argument. That has nothing to do with my comment.
Straw man fallacy._

It isn't a straw man fallacy. It is a direct paraphrase of your statement.
"enabling" and "giving license" are pretty much the same thing. As are forms
of "sociopath" and "deranged (who will) hurt others" -- at least in common
vernacular.

~~~
alecco
"The golden rule has a serious problem of enabling sociopaths" obviously means
people following the golden rule helping indiscriminately are helping
sociopaths. And sociopaths, by definition, do not follow the rule. Sociopaths
thriving in society are very bad, obviously.

"People like to argue against the golden rule, saying that if you are
deranged, it gives you license to hurt others", this vague accusation first
generalices all criticism of the golden rule as the same. Second it states
something that has nothing to do with my coments. I did not claim "if you are
deranged, [the golden rule] gives you license to hurt others'. I wouldn't be
surprised if that was made up on the spot by lancefisher.

Your points are hard-headed nonsense and a waste of time.

Edit: minor typos

~~~
sophacles
_"The golden rule has a serious problem of enabling sociopaths" obviously
means people following the golden rule helping indiscriminately are helping
sociopaths. And sociopaths, by definition, do not follow the rule. Sociopaths
thriving in society are very bad, obviously._

Your claim of obviously is not true because you say so. You may have meant it
the way you claim, but an equally valid interpretation of the term enabling
is:

The golden rule allows sociopaths to justify behavior by claiming "I expect to
be treated the way I am treating you". In a society that puts the golden rule
at the top of social norms, this allows the sociopaths to do their thing while
within the guidelines. Allowing something to be justified is in fact enabling
it. This is why the term for codependent family who make excuses for their
addict loved ones and who clean up the addict's messes is enabler.

It is important to note when there are multiple subtly different ways of
defining words, it can lead to confusion when you think you are being clear.

------
benologist
This doesn't look like spam at all....

[https://www.google.com/search?q=Because+I+drove+the+night+sh...](https://www.google.com/search?q=Because+I+drove+the+night+shift%2C+my+cab+became+a+moving+confessional.+Passengers+climbed+in%2C+sat+behind+me+in+total+anonymity%2C+and+told+me+about+their+lives.+I+encountered+people+whose+lives+amazed+me%2C+ennobled+me%2C+and+made+me+laugh+and+weep).

~~~
SatvikBeri
This is by the actual author though, at least according to
<http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/c/cabbie.htm>

~~~
mortenjorck
I'm going to guess this story has been Mike Daisey'd.

The author quite likely did work as a cabbie, did pick up an elderly woman on
her final trip to hospice care, and did make an unexpected detour around town
to look at some landmarks from her life.

It probably also happened in the middle of the day, only took about half an
hour, and the patient probably didn't say "You gave an old woman a little
moment of joy," because she fell asleep near the end of the ride.

This is sad, because, just like Mike Daisey's story, there's plenty of value
in what really transpired, and by exaggerating it, it loses its believability.
By becoming overly sentimental, bordering on mawkish, it loses the impact that
a frank, thoughtful reflection on the actual event could have had.

~~~
chimeracoder
> By becoming overly sentimental, bordering on mawkish, it loses the impact
> that a frank, thoughtful reflection on the actual event could have had.

Or it reflects how the event _happened to him_ , as opposed to how the event
just _happened_.

When writing narrative essays, remember that truth is subjective, and you have
a choice between being loyal to how it impacted the narrator and how it
'objectively happened'. If you want the latter, you'll just end up with an
overdetermined logfile.

I don't know what parts of David Sedaris's stories are true, and I don't care
- all I know is that some of them are incredibly powerful emotionally, and
that man sure knows how to nail the ending of a story.

~~~
Eliezer
Belief is subjective. Reality is objective. Since "truth" compares belief and
reality, the output is not subjective. The belief that I can fly can make me
expect to fly away when I jump off a cliff; only the truth of that belief can
prevent me from hitting the ground.

~~~
chimeracoder
We're talking about an inspirational story told as a personal narrative. I'm
willing to suspend some disbelief in this case to get the larger picture.

------
gwillen
This is the second time I've seen this story this week, and this version is
subtly different from the previous one I saw. This is making me wonder whether
either version of the story actually happened. I wish I remembered where I saw
the other one.

~~~
calciphus
It's reads like a creative writing piece, and is taken from a book about
living with the prayer of Saint Francis. I don't believe it's meant to have
literally happened, so much as to convey a lesson.

------
rickmode
Meta question: how is this related to hacker news (related to technology or
science)?

~~~
lotharbot
The guidelines quite clearly state that HN stories don't have to be related to
tech/science:

<http://ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html>

 _"On-Topic: Anything that good hackers would find interesting. That includes
more than hacking and startups. If you had to reduce it to a sentence, the
answer might be: anything that gratifies one's intellectual curiosity."_

on the other hand:

 _"If they'd cover it on TV news, it's probably off-topic."_

Now that you know the criteria, I leave it to you to draw your own conclusions
as to whether this story belongs.

~~~
julsonl
I feel that this article is suitable to HN, not for its actual content, but
for the intelligent discussions that eventually spring out of it.

~~~
biot
If you take such an ex post facto rationalization, you must conclude that
there is nothing out of bounds for HN as long as it spawns an intellectual
discussion. We could have an intellectual discussion about a blank page, cute
kitten pictures, or pharmaceutical spam.

------
carterschonwald
If this story doesn't nearly or outright bring a tear to your eye, please
pause for a moment and ask yourself why.

[edit: it doesn't matter whether it's real vs fiction, it's a question of how
you would react if you did something in the normal course of what you do, and
then come to realize at it had a profoundly positive impact on someone else.
Is not the romanticized part of the modern conception of a startup a blend of
changing people's lives positively at skill via products that make the world
better plus a dash of hopefully positioning yourself to there after only work
on projects that capture your eye?

I will not dispute that the story here is cute and possibly fiction. But even
if your day to do focus is building better tech in some domain, it's about
building better tools for other people. ]

~~~
anatoly
Because it isn't true. Because it's a hackneyed creation of a shallow
imagination peopled with cardboard characters, made to press the emotional
buttons especially popular today. Because real people don't say "You gave an
old woman a little moment of joy". Because death and loneliness and loss and
memory are all so much more than this Hallmark card of a story.

Because it's so fake, and so corny.

~~~
knieveltech
I'm going to take a moment to burn a little karma.

May you choke on your cynicism while you sleep.

Edit: what, no downvotes? Clearly I have no idea what motivates you people.

~~~
begemot
You seem like a nice human being, truly wishing death upon someone because
they find your precious sob story hokey is the hallmark of someone who is
empathic and mature.

EDIT: Oh wait, I see now! It was not your intention to actually emulate the
hilariously 2D caricatures in the story and be sympathetic and nice to all
comers, no that something you reserve for the safe idealized realm of fiction
where there is no chance for disappointment by the messy and contradictory
things we call humans. I've got your ticket man and you seem to be in good
company with the majority of HN, I mean who would have guessed that the money
hungry posers on this site would be into empty sentimentality?

~~~
knieveltech
You see the little gray triangles to the left of my post? Click the one
pointing down and be about your business.

Edit: you talk too much.

~~~
saturn
He doesn't have enough karma to do that.

------
tseabrooks
This story just sold a book.

Off topic question: I know many here aren't necessarily religious (Though some
would say they are spiritual)... Do the non-religious among us still find
value in the writing of overtly religious authors? I'm not interested in
arguing about religion. I'm just curious if the HN crowd find value in the
words of people with differing opinions.

~~~
swombat
I am non-religious, in the sense that I do not follow any organised religion,
nor do I believe in the vast majority of the superstitions of many religions.
I don't believe there is a God as described by the christians, muslims or
jews, or supernatural beings as proposed by Hinduism, etc.

However, I think that anyone who dismisses religion as worthless is blind or
stupid.

Religion, religious texts, concepts of religion, and so on, have been a
natural repository for boundless amounts of human wisdom accumulated over the
centuries. Each religion, with all its flaws, is trying to grasp at an
essential Truth of human existence. That they fail to quite reach it (for most
people) is obvious, but that doesn't make the attempt worthless. Nor is it
intelligent to ignore the _fact_ that there have been numerous people
throughout history whom one could call "enlightened", who touched on something
beyond our normal existences.

There is a very deep well of _value_ in religion. Those who spit in that well
are to be pitied.

I'll close with an idea from Rudolf Steiner, a philosopher of the late 19th
Century, who suggested that much of humanity's efforts (in the intellectual
spheres) aim to reconcile the physical and the spiritual, to answer the
question of how it is possible that there is matter and thinking (two
apparently fundamentally different things), and how it is possible that there
is such a thing as matter that thinks about its own nature.

He suggests that this striving to reconcile the two is split into three great
movements: art, science and religion.

Dismissing one in favour of the other is like choosing to ignore your left leg
in favour of your right. A complete human being will not ignore one of the
three pillars of human thought.

~~~
mike-cardwell
Who dismisses religion as worthless? It obviously has both costs and
benefits...

I don't think it's important to discuss how much religion is "worth". How much
religion is "worth" bares no relation to how true it is. How true religion is,
is the much more important discussion.

~~~
theorique
Some examples of the "new atheists" or commentators who dismiss religion as
worthless: Richard Dawkins, Bill Maher, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens

~~~
mike-cardwell
That is flat out untrue. All of the people you quoted are well aware that
religion provides some value/worth alongside the costs. They're all highly
intelligent people who are able to perform basic cost/benefit analysis like
the rest of us.

What's the difference between an "atheist" and a "new atheist"? I've found
that religious people use "new atheist" almost as a derogatory term, but I
just don't get where the insult is supposed to come from?

[edit] Ah, I looked up "new atheism" on wikipedia and got: "New Atheism is the
name given to the ideas promoted by a collection of 21st-century atheist
writers who have advocated the view that religion should not simply be
tolerated but should be countered, criticized, and exposed by rational
argument wherever its influence arises."

~~~
mgkimsal
It's a bit of a signal in some religious/evangelical language. "new atheism"
implies a few things - there's a renewed urgency, an implied "new" "attack" on
religion, etc. It's not meant as an insult so much as a buzzword to signal to
the faithful that there's a 'new' menace to ward against.

Also, 'new' atheism is viewed as actively oppositional - loud, proud, 'coming
out' in public, etc. Being aggressively atheistic is a hallmark of those
labelled 'new atheists'. It's _probably_ more accurate to refer to this more
aggressive public movement as antitheism, but that would be another label/word
which would confuse people. Putting 'new' in front of the old word, I think it
becomes easier to rally the troops, so to speak.

~~~
yannickt
"It's probably more accurate to refer to this more aggressive public movement
as antitheism"

I disagree that this "movement" is aggressive. It is only perceived as
aggressive because people are not used to having their religion publicly
questioned, and held to the same standards of rational scrutiny as other
products of human thought. I also disagree that it is "probably" anti-theist.
The "new atheists" sometimes ridicule theists, but concede that merely
believing in a personal god is fairly harmless in itself. I think they are
definitely anti- _dogma_.

~~~
mgkimsal
Hitchens seemed pretty anti-theist, and I don't recall him ever saying that
belief in a personal god was "fairly harmless".

I was using 'aggressive' from the perspective of those using the term 'new
atheist' - should've been more clear on that. I don't think 'new atheism' is
'aggressive', except to the extent that it's being vocal vs 'in the closet'
year ago.

------
steventruong
Saw a slight different variation being shared on Facebook. Wonder why the
difference if its a true story and who modified it...

~~~
sehugg
This story has been cut-and-pasted countless times:
[https://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&#...</a>

------
VMG
and HN's signal-to-noise ratio is lowered once again

~~~
SkyMarshal
Agreed. Flag it.

------
swombat
Very moving story. There's something about death, about the ending of life,
about the closing of a life, that puts things in perspective, that makes
things which you normally consider important (like charging for a cab ride)
seem so petty it is ridiculous to even consider them, and that makes simple
anodine events take on what I can only call a divine aspect (without any
connection to traditional religion).

These stories, these moments, are not just life, they're what life is about.

~~~
pantaloons
"A life, Jimmy, you know what that is? It's the shit that happens while you're
waiting for moments that never come."

~~~
tudorizer
Where is this from?

~~~
_pius
The Wire.

------
iamdann
Every year I grow older brings a new understanding of the concept of
nostalgia. Driving through an old neighborhood, even just 5 or 10 years later,
can hit like a ton of bricks.

I can't even imagine what that taxi ride must have been like for her.

~~~
StacyC
That's exactly what occurred to me as I read the story.

I graduated from college 20 years ago, and a few years back I drove through
the old neighborhoods there and _something_ just blasted me in the gut, or
heart, or something. A flood of memories of friends and lovers and struggles
and parties and fun and hurt and everything.

What is that? Is it a realization of time passed, or opportunities missed,
never to be available to us again?

I can't imagine what it would be life after 80 years or so, and knowing that
the door of life is closing quickly. Wow. Didn't mean to wax sentimental but I
do love these ideas.

~~~
timjahn
"Didn't mean to wax sentimental"

Don't be ashamed. It's appreciated.

------
wildmXranat
I'm not going to lie, I teared up half way through the article. Rather than
contemplate the fact of it being real or not, I'll spend some time drawing
more meaningful conclusions.

------
darksaga
Real or not, it's still a very powerful piece of literature. I think there's
an underlying theme to the story - a lot of our history is being lost or
superseded by the internet.

There's so many things we have left to learn from "The Greatest Generation"
yet when given the opportunity, most would rather downplay the story, or
simply go back their smartphones social networks.

------
ChrisSteel
For anyone who can't get to the site (I guess a bandwidth issue), you can get
the article off google cache:

[http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:wznsub_...](http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:wznsub_hiJwJ:www.zenmoments.org/the-
cab-ride-ill-never-forget/&hl=en&prmd=imvns&strip=1)

------
dot-sean
This guy posted it to his google+ page, without crediting original author.
Let's make sure we +1 it so his friends know where his great ideas come from:

[https://plus.google.com/104314192726025938964/posts/4GjXTPTz...](https://plus.google.com/104314192726025938964/posts/4GjXTPTzSJx)

------
jwdunne
It's an incredible story and it moved me greatly. It also appears to have
moved many more people around the globe once again. I've just noticed my mum
share this exact story on Facebook and she's very far removed from Hacker News
(it appears to be part of a note).

------
pcfree
I'm certain that I read this or a similar short story in high school but i
can't remember much else about it. it's funny how the short stories and books
i read in high school are so much more recallable than things learned in the
other classes.

------
ricardobeat
What an interesting coincidence. Just minutes ago I watched a short film with
a similar story: <https://vimeo.com/40846220>

------
siculars
Best story I've heard in a bit. Thank you for sharing.

------
cpt1138
Seems like the tl;dw version of "Trip to Bountiful"

<http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090203/>

------
rg31415
I feel as though he should have taken the money from her. There was nobody to
leave her money to.

~~~
StacyC
_There was nobody to leave her money to._

1\. The beautiful moral of the story is a split-finger fastball that you never
saw coming.

2\. Maybe she had heirs who would receive her assets upon her passing.

------
razibog
This made me burst out in tears. I rarely post here, but i felt this had to be
said.

------
KVFinn
Wow, that was way better than I expected. Damn onions.

------
euphoria83
You made me cry.

~~~
re_todd
As the great Jack Handey of Deep Thoughts once said, "It takes a big man to
cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."

------
MPSimmons
Damnit. There's not supposed to be crying at Hacker News.

------
horsehead
Very touching story. I got a chance to ride with a taxi driver for a night one
time -- those guys have really interesting jobs. It's kind of like being a
cop, except without carrying the gun (Though i think some do carry). Never
know who you'll pick up for a ride.

------
thekungfuman
Weird coincidence; by the end of the story something had gotten in my eyes.
Excuse me.

~~~
taylonr
Yeah, it's either really dusty or someone in the office is cutting onions.

------
pjmlp
Nice story

