
Ask HN: Have you been on a meditation retreat? How has it changed your life? - vanwary
Hey all - I went on a meditation retreat for the first time in 2016 and have been to several since.<p>Since then, I&#x27;ve met a lot of friends through the process, but was curious what the overlap between the general tech community and the meditation community was.<p>Have you been on a retreat? If so how was it and would you go again. If not and you are interested in one - what has prevented you thus far?
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FlyingSideKick
Yes. I have been lucky enough to attend two Theravada retreats in Thailand.
However, the practice of daily meditation and adherence to the 5 precepts (not
taking life, not stealing, not engaging in false speech, not engaging in
sexual misconduct, not taking intoxicants) plus practicing loving-kindness to
all beings is far more life-changing than attending a retreat every once in a
while.

Daily meditation especially vipassana and loving-kindness can truly change
your life, bring inner peace and can truly in your personal and business
relations.

As an entrepreneur, one side-effect of meditation is that it made me really
examine what my definition of "success" and "happiness" is. In so doing
meditation has taken away much of my ego and the desire to achieve revenue
growth or market share goals. I simply don't care about that anymore and now I
just want to operate a business that makes great products that people love
while that producing enough revenue to support my team. For myself, building
and maintaining an awesome and supportive work environment where individuals
and life-work balance are valued are my top priorities. Happy lives and
families are key. The gain of status and material objects are just transitory
with no significance.

~~~
justaguyhere
Any recommendations on books on Vipassana?

~~~
gradschool
[https://vipassana-for-hackers.org/](https://vipassana-for-hackers.org/)

~~~
justaguyhere
Not sure if I am doing anything wrong, but I am unable to download the PDFs
both from the website and github :(

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sushilewis
I went to two meditation retreats with the Art of Living Foundation.

The 101 retreat was held on campus at Google, and I had a blast.

The 201 retreat was held at a retreat center north of SF. Not as fun, super
challenging, but still a rewarding experience.

Net-net: while I'm glad I did it, I don't need to signup for more meditation
retreats. One reason is because I got what I needed out of it (i.e. I know how
to meditate on my own). The other reason is I discovered that meditation is
effective in soothing anxiety about the _future_. It's more important, in my
case, to make sense of the _past_ (aka stop ruminations). Therapy and
journaling have been significantly more effective, than meditation, in
addressing those needs.

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_Nat_
> Have you been on a retreat? If so how was it and would you go again. If not
> and you are interested in one - what has prevented you thus far?

I haven't been on one. I'm not really interested in doing one so much as
curious about why other folks do.

I mean, don't get me wrong -- meditation itself is an incredibly powerful,
basic tool that a lot of people need. This is, it's kinda like a hammer or
screw driver in that it's simplistic-but-essential.

I guess it sounds sorta like a book club to me -- like, why join a book club
rather than just read your own selection of books whenever you want? And I
guess it's because there's a social element to it that people enjoy, perhaps
moreso than the actual activity itself?

That said, in a book club, people can talk about the contents of the book
afterwards. What might people share of meditation, given that it's such a
personal experience?

\---

To note it, I suspect that the answer to my question is that meditation
retreats can help introduce people who don't normally meditate much to the
basic practice, sorta like a quick-start class. But I'd be interested in what
people've done them before have to say of what they took from it.

~~~
dangus
I agree on the idea of these sort of things feeling like a "book club."

A recent example that worked for me: I took a short vacation by myself. I went
to one event I wanted to see, and then for the rest of the time I had zero
plans. Basically, I walked around the beach, walked around town, ate food, and
that was it.

Was it mindful meditation? Not really. But the effects were the same or
similar.

I think some people should really just take time off work more often
(mandatory paid leave in the United States, please!)

~~~
asark
> Was it mindful meditation? Not really. But the effects were the same or
> similar.

I do have a suspicion that a not-small portion of the benefits of a meditation
retreat is more about the retreating than the meditation. I'd probably feel
"OMG I haven't felt this good in years" amazing after 10 days away from
electronics and family & work obligations, even if I just read books and
napped and took nature walks the whole time. Meditating instead would probably
work too.

~~~
ghthor
There's no reason that reading books, taking naps and nature walks couldn't be
meditating as well. Meditation is about consciously moving your awareness into
your higher self. And while some styles of meditation are good at teaching you
what this looks and feels like, they are not the only way to achieve the
"meditation" state of mind.

The highest level meditation is one that creates no separation between the
physical reality and the higher self. A completely open stream of
consciousness that allows the physical self to be happy with whatever physical
reality is, at any given moment in time. That generally doesnt look like a
retreat, instead it's a relaxed advance, an acceptance of what is, an
engagement with the world around you, be that a good book or a nice walk
through the earths natural creation, or a nice refreshing nap with a trip to
the dreamlands.

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fuzz4lyfe
I wouldn't go for just meditation but I'd like to take a few months off to
learn kung fu in China. I have seen a number of live in programs where you do
8 hours or so of kung fu a day. They cost on the order of $1000 a month all
in, for $5400 they will let you stay for a year.

Something like this:
[https://www.shaolinskungfu.com/Accommodation.html](https://www.shaolinskungfu.com/Accommodation.html)

~~~
mailjenil
Thanks for sharing....

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svieira
I have gone on Catholic retreats, which are similar to what I think you're
talking about, but not identical. The point of a retreat is to spend time with
the person you should love most of all, getting to know them better.

Every retreat I have been on has been worth it. Some have been easier to see
the benefits at once, others have benefits planted that are reaped later.

~~~
jrochkind1
"The point of a retreat is to spend time with the person you should love most
of all, getting to know them better."

You're being too clever for me. Do you mean yourself? God? Your actual
romantic partner?

~~~
krageon
Retreat-shaped vacations are usually about isolation. To a true believer, you
are always with god. Therefore the only logical conclusion is that it is about
you.

~~~
FearNotDaniel
Nope. I've spent enough time among Catholics and other Christians to know that
"the person you should love most of all" would be unequivocally understood as
God. In their worldview, just because God is with you all the time doesn't
mean you are actually free to give him all your attention and focus on that
relationship.

~~~
krageon
For a certain brand of Christian, you are entirely correct. This argument is
so compelling that I'm actually doubting my original interpretation of the
text.

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5440
I went to the OSHO meditation center in Pune, India for a few days, while
working over there about a year ago. It changed my entire outlook on life,
non-withstanding the Netflix documentary "Wild Wild Country" which is about
the meditation group.

I did three days of 15 hour different meditations. To this day, I still feel
totally relaxed during contentious business projects. I plan on going again at
some point.

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am33
I've been on 2 10 day Vipassana meditation retreats (as taught by SN Goenka).

I had bad OCD that was entirely cured after 2 10-day courses + an average of
2-3 hours of meditation practice every day for 1-2 years.

However, even 2 hours of meditation practice for 6 months after the first
retreat got my OCD to a very manageable level.

Really recommend going!

~~~
justaguyhere
_average of 2-3 hours of meditation practice every day_

Wow, that is insane (in a good way)! how long did it take to reach that stage?

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curun1r
I did a few of 10-day silent retreats a few years ago. I really enjoyed them
and I've been wanting to do another. I think they helped give me a different
perspective on the world and see some of my issues in a different light.

But I had significant difficulty incorporating the practice and those lessons
into my everyday life. It's just hard to get anything useful out of daily
practice when I'm subjected to work, phone, tv, internet, etc. I just end up
to scatterbrained. I wish I understood how to live in the modern world with
some of the clarity that I had during the retreats.

~~~
bobx11
My parents and one sibling did the 10 day vipassana retreats and praise the
experience extensively. They would like to go back and also found it extremely
difficult.

They all went vegan for a while after, all talk about turning off device
notifications, and were extremely calm and confident for months after.

I read a vipassana book and think it’s a good perspective to gain for a lot of
parts of life and makes me want to try a 10 day retreat at some point.

~~~
curun1r
> They all went vegan for a while after

Haha...I can see how that'd happen. The food at the retreat was amazing. I was
most of the way through my first 10-day before I realized that the food itself
was a challenge for me to stay in the present moment and not look forward to
whatever amazing dishes they'd serve in the next meal. Maybe it's just the
centers in Asia, but it really helps you understand what's possible in a vegan
diet. So much of the vegan food you see in the US is either really bland or
just swaps out the meat for tofu or other such vegan protein. The dishes that
they served were extremely varied and seemed conceived from the start to be
vegan. Many of the people there who eat more meat than I do said they expected
to be challenged by having to eat vegan for 10 days, but actually enjoyed it
and never felt like it was missing anything.

Foodgasm aside, I think it's something that everyone with any interest should
try at least once to see whether it's for them. If nothing else, just
unplugging from the world and doing a digital detox can be a worthwhile
experience. I'd encourage you to find a way to go, even if it doesn't become a
constant part of your life going forward.

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ha470
Yes! The first few were super tough (and not fun) but I got a lot out of them
and gradually they've gotten easier, although just as productive.

So many people in the comments mentioned retreats but I'm surprised not a
single person mentioned enlightenment. The whole point of retreats is to get
you to a point where you willfully and intentionally seek freedom from
suffering, but it seems like a ton of people get stuck in the retreat
treadmill. Living a happier, more peaceful life is one thing but it's very
possible to _completely_ eradicate the subjective experience of suffering (or
at least eliminate enough of it that it's largely unnoticeable). Enlightenment
is very accessible and super achievable, especially now with the internet.

I highly recommend reading Living Realization ([https://www.amazon.com/Living-
Realization-Simple-Plain-Engli...](https://www.amazon.com/Living-Realization-
Simple-Plain-English-Non-Duality-ebook/dp/B01E6FS3WQ)) or Falling Into Grace
([https://www.amazon.com/Falling-into-Grace-Insights-
Suffering...](https://www.amazon.com/Falling-into-Grace-Insights-Suffering-
ebook/dp/B004LLINOY)) to see if any of it resonates. Once you get what all
this is about then retreats become a practice ground towards a goal rather
than a stabilizing mechanism or a way to feel better for a bit.

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jessepepper
Yes, I'm a software engineer, predominantly C++, research, backend stuff,
operational transform and multi-master replication
([http://cedanet.com.au/ceda/](http://cedanet.com.au/ceda/)). I've been doing
Vipassana in the tradition of SN Goenka for 23 years, and having done quite a
few 10-day silent retreats, I can say that they have been extremely beneficial
to many aspects of my life, including technical stuff. I have also recently
been quite interested in Culadasa's "The Mind Illuminated" book. I've recently
connected with some other technical people around Culadasa's book.

------
jamestomasino
I've been on a number of silent retreats that focus on contemplation, usually
prayer. Of those the vast majority have been 3-day retreats which begin on a
Friday after dinner and end on a Sunday with a lunch. They're a great
introduction to silence and meditation and can really allay insecurities
people have about taking on a longer retreat. It's where I recommend starting
if you're new to retreats.

I've also done 8-day retreats and 10-day retreats. These are my favorites. As
someone else in the comments said, it takes a few days for silence to break
through your barriers. There's a whole bunch of science on the 3-day effect
which seems related to my experience. For me it works like this: day one I'm
excited and my mind doesn't shut up. I have a million ideas floating through
and I try to grasp them all and to remember the "fruits" of this time for
later when I can talk. Early on in my retreats I would journal furiously. I
filled a moleskine notebook each day, front and back of pages. It was insane,
and also counterproductive. I was taking the dialogue away from my tongue and
moving it onto the page. Now I don't journal at all, or I'll do so only every
few days and briefly. Even so, day one is a wasted day. It's like my mind is
flipping out craving contact. I just need to let it run its course.

On day 2 I have intermittent moments of calm when I can sense the silence
underneath everything. I try to spend this day in solitude if possible. It
helps to speed up the transition. Remember, silence in a retreat isn't about
sound, it's about communication. Don't make eye contact or gestures at others.
You're not being silent.

Day 3 for me is when I'm finally at rest. I listen to the little movements of
my mind. It's a great time for contemplative prayer, or mindfulness
meditation. If you've read anything about Ignatian spirituality, this is where
the real enlightening stuff hits. Days 3-7 are a blur of wonder that I never
want to end.

That being said, I've also done 30 days in silence and it is there that I'd
use the term "life changing." How life changing was it for me? It led to me
deciding to leave religious life to get married and start a family. It was not
in rebellion to the style of life I was living, but as a result of it. It took
me 30 days of contemplation in silence to finally find the answer to the
questions that had been bouncing around in my head for a decade.

Would I go again? Certainly.

------
moltar
I’ve been to a 10 day vipassana retreat. It didn’t change my life at all.

It felt a bit euphoric the first few days but then it wears off.

If you continue your daily meditation practice, I believe it might have a net
positive effect.

My friend went about 5 times now. He swears by it.

Two anecdotes.

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dawhizkid
+1 for ayuhuasca retreats

~~~
anythingnonidin
For people interested in the therapeutic use of psychedelics and people
seeking (legal) psychedelic retreat recommendations, I compiled some info
here: [https://tripsafe.org/psychedelic-
therapy/](https://tripsafe.org/psychedelic-therapy/)

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jenkstom
The retreat was great. Coming back to a spouse with an undiagnosed personality
disorder was traumatic.

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amriksohata
Anyone recommend any in India

~~~
yc_user_2019
Highly recommend Vipassana Meditation (S.N. Goenka
[https://www.dhamma.org](https://www.dhamma.org)). They have centers all over
India. You gotta start with a 10-day course.

~~~
amriksohata
Thanks

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exabyte
I have been on two 10-day Vipassana meditation retreats. One took place in
Texas and the other in France. The first one was much more valuable for me. It
was SE of Dallas iirc next to a ranch where there were some cows so it was a
really serene place. I had been meditating beforehand for a year or so which
definitely helped prepare me. There were some people who went into it with no
prior preparation, which I thought was pretty crazy but I think just about
everyone finished the 10 days, minus maybe 1 or 2 (at least on the guy's
side). I don't remember how many there were in total but I'd say about 100.

I had some pretty crazy revelations. For one thing, I had never really sensed
my body up until that point. In Vipassana you literally try to feel the
physical sensation of every square inch of the body. I remember during one of
the group meetings someone was talking about feeling their gums. It hadn't
even dawned on me that I could focus on my gums and feel them. It's a pretty
wild experience to just sit and focus on physical sensation for 10 days
straight. Even when you're not in the meditation hall, you're still focusing
on some kind of physical sensation.

Another interesting revelation I had came when I got sick from eating some of
the food. They cooked really amazing Indian food, but my body just wasn't used
to it and I got the shits for a few days. It was a really weird experience not
being able to tell anyone that I felt sick (of course if it got bad then I
would tell the supervisor assigned to my group). I had pretty bad diarrhea for
2 or so days. I had never thought how much I depended on being able to
complain to others about feeling discomfort to give me a sense of well-being.
It was interesting how my mind started to consider all these negative
scenarios if something bad happened and no one knew I was feeling ill so they
didn't come to check on me. It was kind of funny going through my head
wondering if I should tell the supervisor that I was shitting myself just for
future reference in case I shat myself to death. I decided I was over-reacting
and just kind of observed my mind freak out about it.

I remember having the sensation of having a big revelation although not
entirely sure of the content. I kind of just assume that it's integrated
itself into my mind. It may have had something to do with the idea that what
my mind perceived as reality didn't necessarily have any truth to it.
Particularly when it comes to how I perceive others' perceptions of me. For
example, I could have a sense of how a friend, family member or even some
random person thinks of me that might be totally off base from what they
themselves actually think about me. An interesting book that touches upon this
topic is "One, No One and One Hundred Thousand" by Luigi Pirandello.

Aside from that, it's mostly given me the ability to just take a break from
feeling stress/anxiety/anguish, focus on the physical sensation that is
associated with it and take some comfort in knowing that it's not permanent.
There's the whole idea that when something negative occurs in our lives, we
prolong its existence by trying to push it away when instead we should observe
it, let it pass and maybe even learn from it. As someone who was diagnosed
w/Hashimoto's I've had periods of my life where I feel really shitty and at
one point I dipped into a really dangerous depression (prior to the retreat,
part of what motivated me to do it). I should note that I mistakenly had the
impression that meditation would simply let me "zen" myself out of these
modes. Unfortunately, they seem to carry some inertia with them and so
meditation was not the superpower I thought it might be to attain a state of
happiness and well-being at any instant I desired, however I certainly take
value in my ability to not amplify them anymore and to be able to look at them
objectively and take the necessary steps to dig myself out of those holes.

I've also done several Ayahuasca retreats, some of which I really valued for
their emphasis on connection with the people doing them with me. Silent
meditations are great, but they certainly don't fulfill any need for social
interaction as you pretty much have to pretend that the others don't exist and
can't talk to them. I did think it was funny not to hold the door for people
behind me going into the meditation or dining hall with the justification that
as far as I was concerned, they weren't there.

I also did funny things during the retreat like saving worms from getting
stepped on when they tried to cross the sidewalks or staring at ant hills.
It's a crazy experience being with your own mind for 10 days, I'd recommend it
to everyone. Not easy, but entirely doable and will almost certainly change
your perspective on life. I scheduled mine through dhamma.org, it's totally
free (free housing, free food) and they accept donations at the end if you'd
like. I do think the program needs to be updated a bit to integrate better
with today's society, but of course that's easier said than done.

