

What matters in life (and what doesn't) - paraschopra
http://paraschopra.com/blog/personal/what-matters-in-life-and-what-doesnt.htm

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jakeonthemove
I agree with everything except the point about material possessions - they're
not bad, most of the times they can help you do things better and faster. It's
just that you need to accept their imperfections and problems and stop
spending time worrying about them. Radiator broke down? Whatta gonna do,
repair it and keep going, don't think too much. USB drivers not installing?
Find another way. Your equipment needs maintenance? Well of course it does,
schedule some time and do it.

It's all about the mindset. I used to worry about stuff like this too much,
until I realized that it doesn't really matter. Here's a quick way to test
your mindset on this: if you have a scratch on your phone's screen and it bugs
the hell out of you, you're too attached to your possessions :-).

~~~
tintin
Reminds me of the saying _"you don't own possessions they own you"_. This is
only true if you let them own you and worry about them. When my TV breaks down
I might get another one. But there are loads of people who buy another TV
because they've seen a bigger/thinner/nicer one.

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jayfuerstenberg
Throwing away all your worldly possessions in the pursuit of happiness is not
always possible.

For instance, having a car to drive your 5 year old kid to school can be a lot
less stressful than taking a bus or train.

But, yes, seeking to own the best car money can buy is rather unnecessary.

Overall this article offers simple, good advice. It was a good read.

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paraschopra
Yes, I agree that throwing all possessions isn't the best of ideas. What I was
trying to suggest was that just craving for more possessions just for its own
sake is avoidable. For example, if you are happy with 5 year old car, why take
a new one?

~~~
jakeonthemove
I agree with that, however you have to consider the returns on investment,
too: the difference between a personal car and public transport is that you
can get to wherever you want in 15 minutes instead of 1 hour, for example, but
if you have a 5 year old car that works fine, there's no reason to buy a new
one, indeed.

It's even more complicated in software - while a lot of tools are good enough
as they are (like Windows 98 :-)), upgrading to a new version can make a huge
difference.

I do agree that having a lot of possessions is harder on your mind, and it
ties you down to one place - I found that out when I had to move and leave a
lot of stuff behind - in the end, it turns out I could live perfectly fine
without it.

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paraschopra
Of course it depends from person to person, but in many cases the advantages
gained by upgrading are marginal. If you don't do serious photography, your
5MP phone camera may be more than enough for you. If you all you do is
Microsoft Word and Internet, Windows 98 may be sufficient for you. Of course,
if something you absolutely need (not desire) requires an upgrade, you have to
do it.

Enjoy advantages of modern technology but don't get too obsessed for its own
sake or because others are doing it -- there are far more important things to
do in life.

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jcfrei
I always find those posts about what matters in life and what not a bit
troublesome. I can't really shake the feeling that the author just seeks some
confirmation from his peers for his newly found virtues in life. an important
aspect of growing up is figuring out what actually matters to _you_.

~~~
paraschopra
Of course, it is personal opinion but if it helps others discover what matters
for them, what's wrong with that? They can always disagree with the author's
points.

~~~
jcfrei
well of course my opinion isn't in any way less subjective than the author's
and you should consider both with a grain of salt.

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thom
I agree that some of the petty things we pin our ego on can lead to stress and
unhappiness, but I'm not sure ego per se is a terrible thing.

The thrust of the article almost seems to be that you'll be happiest when you
define yourself by your relationships with other people, your experiences of
other things. These are good things, but I strongly believe that you need
enough ego to feel like you're standing face-to-face with the world before
you've lived a truly satisfying life. Perhaps I'm just misunderstanding the
use of 'experiences' in the article, but I'd really rather build my own
parthenon than spend my life staring at someone else's.

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stat
He forgot "mitigating existential risk". Oh well :).

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maeon3
You can take the human out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of
the human. We are social creatures, cultivate strong and loose relationships.
Happiness shared with other people is happiness multiplied.

