
Ask HN: How to disagree with someone more powerful than you - Raj7k
What do I need to say if I disagree with my manager or CEO. Sometime I even don&#x27;t know whether to speak or not.<p>The issues could be anything, it can be my goal, my deadline to finish something or some idea which is not worth trying..
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itamarst
Two techniques:

1\. Instead of disagreeing outright, try to figure out their motivation and
your motivation, and then find a third solution that addresses both. Talk
about this here: [https://codewithoutrules.com/2018/03/09/win-technical-
argume...](https://codewithoutrules.com/2018/03/09/win-technical-arguments/)

2\. When asked to do something you don't want to, don't just say "no".
Instead, listen in detail, and ask questions - this helps you decide better,
and shows respect. Then decide, and explain your disagreement in terms of
project and organizational goals - "I can do that, but then I'd have to drop
this bug that is impacting our biggest customer - can it wait until next
week?" (Long version: [https://codewithoutrules.com/2018/08/16/how-to-say-
no/](https://codewithoutrules.com/2018/08/16/how-to-say-no/))

~~~
Raj7k
This was quite helpful. Thanks for sharing.

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jimsojim
Just be ultra honest about the point you want to make with supporting
evidence/arguments without being disrespectful. The way you speak to your
manager doesn't necessarily have to the same you speak to your CEO, because
their motivations may differ (usually do). Speaking to CEO, you should try to
be aligned with the company goals, whatever you're speaking about try to
connect with company's goals. At the end of the day, that is all CEO cares
about. However, manager might have ulterior motives, politics etc. So here you
formulate your points without causing too much trouble or insecurity to their
position.

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thenaturalist
It's rather simple, really: Your honest and plain opinion. Formulated in
respectful, but determined words.

Especially if you're dealing with higher ups and (important caveat) they are
not narcissistic, they will respect clarity and honesty.

Working in groups and in higher positions it is absolutely normal - and
actually beneficial - to deal with differing opinions. There is research on
the fact that contrary voices increase the quality of group decisions - google
Devil's Advocate.

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Someone
What culture are you in? In direct cultures, saying “I don’t see how that
makes sense” or even “that’s nonsense” can be appropriate things to say to
your manager; in others one should phrase that as “that’s interesting” or
“I’ll think about it”. In yet others, saying “yes”, but doing “no” can be
appropriate.

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AHatLikeThat
Funny but applicable McSweeney's article:
[https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-list-of-things-ive-
sai...](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-list-of-things-ive-said-to-men-
this-week-instead-of-youre-wrong-or-no-to-spare-their-feelings-even-though-
they-were-wrong-and-i-knew-the-right-answer)

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Raj7k
All the 10 ways looks good. I should try this also sometimes ;)

