
Another Side of MeToo: Male Managers Fearful of Mentoring Women - walterclifford
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/27/world/europe/metoo-backlash-gender-equality-davos-men.html
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geofft
This isn't new - the "Billy Graham rule" has been around since around 1948. My
parents taught it to me. It's received some recent news as Mike Pence adopted
it.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Graham_rule](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Graham_rule)

The question is whether you think that the self-protection from scandal is
worth the systemic discrimination the rule requires you to do.

~~~
ravitation
This would be systematic discrimination, not systemic.

~~~
geofft
If an entire denomination has historically male clergy and believes in
following the Billy Graham rule, is it not systemic, too?

(But yeah, if it's just me by myself in an otherwise-equitable industry, yes.
I'm not convinced I'm in an otherwise-equitable industry though.)

~~~
ravitation
You are talking about a type of discrimination that you explicitly say "you"
(i.e. one) choose to do, not about the nature of the evangelical clergy.
Unless the "you" in your statement is only supposed to be a stand-in for the
evangelical clergy reading your comment... Which I took it to not be.

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hyeonwho4
> to identify men who make women uncomfortable

This is a very revealing trick: start with sexual harassment, but segue into a
focus on workplace discomfort. It shouldn't be a manager's problem that their
professional communication makes team members uncomfortable. Workplace social
discomfort is universal, and it should not be a barometer for MeToo.

~~~
geofft
> _It shouldn 't be a manager's problem that their professional communication
> makes team members uncomfortable._

I would think it's quite the opposite - the purpose of a manager is to make
their teams effective and keep up morale so they can be productive. If a
manager's approach to "professional communication" makes their team members
uncomfortable, that's a sign they're a bad manager, just like if my approach
to "professional sysadminning" makes my teammates uncomfortable and fearful,
I'm a bad sysadmin. Communicating well and productively and in a way that
doesn't make people uncomfortable is a skill. Like any other skill, it's
learnable to some extent and there's innate aptitude to some extent and if you
don't have the skill you're not qualified for the job.

------
x0f1a
The problem is really complex. As a manager sometimes needing to give bad
feedback, or assinging unpleasant tasks to females direct reports, it is
always stressful for me. There is a chance that even without malice, the
female subordinate interpret that I am being unfair or punishing her. So I
just avoid it, I don’t know how to approach hierarchy that sometimes generate
uncomfortable situations with a metoo era. The solution is not what the
article suggests, I have daughters and I want a better world for them, but
this is not about educating managers.

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dools
Someone should tell these guys about the Rock Test:

[https://medium.com/@annevictoriaclark/the-rock-test-a-
hack-f...](https://medium.com/@annevictoriaclark/the-rock-test-a-hack-for-men-
who-dont-want-to-be-accused-of-sexual-harassment-73c45e0b49af)

It's not rocket science (it's the Rock science!)

~~~
bassman9000
Article misses the point. It's not the fear of being denounced for being
inappropriate. It's the fear of being denounced even when you behave
appropriately.

~~~
dools
Which is about as probable as being struck by lightning, being the victim of a
terrorist attack or being bitten by a shark.

All these things belong in the Jeopardy category "remote risks that loom large
in popular culture for no good reason".

~~~
glenra
An American getting struck by lightning might be on the order of a one-in-a-
million annual risk, but it's still a really bad thing if it happens TO YOU,
so it's sensible we minimize our risk by choosing not to go out on golf
courses during thunderstorms or choosing to install lightning rods on church
towers. (The low mathematical risk already prices in the fact that we take
such measures - the risk level would be much higher if we didn't!)

Getting falsely accused of sexual impropriety may be a low risk (whatever the
base rate might be), but it's still really bad if it happens TO YOU so it's
sensible that we minimize our personal risk with relatively low-cost policies
such as the Pence Rule. (Once again, the low risk already prices in the fact
that some take some such measures - the risk would be much higher if they
didn't.)

Terrorist attack basically doesn't ever happen (statistically speaking) while
our attempts to prevent it via mechanisms like the TSA are absurdly costly to
the point of sheer idiocy, but cheaper simpler policies like "don't swim where
there have been recent shark sightings", "don't carry metal golf clubs around
in a thunderstorm" and "don't put yourself at undue risk of false gossip or
malicious attack" seem basically sensible and proportionate to the risk being
addressed.

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nzbahz
Isn't that the way it's always worked? A friend who works at a university told
me how male professors always leave the door open when they are talking with
female students in their offices. They can easily ruin your life... just like
that.

~~~
knorby
The professors ruining the students' life through traumatic actions done to
the students, right? I'm sure that's what you meant.

~~~
nzbahz
What's the traumatic action here? A female student not being able to force a
professor to change a grade under the threat of being called a rapist?

~~~
knorby
Rape and sexual assault come to mind, since that's what happens far more often
than blackmail for petty ends. Plenty of studies have shown how bunk your
claim is. It is a sexist conspiracy theory.

