
Ask HN: What are you teaching your kids that is not taught in school? - tmaly
I have been doing some robotics with block based programming with my daughter over the Summer.<p>I have also helped her with some new math concepts.   I like to give her real life examples or provide the &quot;why&quot;  so she understands the point of learning about something.<p>We also do some very basic concepts in philosophy , something a young kid can grasp.  When I can thing of a good way to explain a mental model, I also do this.<p>What are you teaching your kids that they won&#x27;t learn in school?
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sloaken
How to manage their money. I have given them an allowance, not for chores but
for being a family member. You do chores because you are a family member. Paid
monthly, based on number of Fridays in a month. Annual increase (on birthday).

When my kids want something, unless it is a reasonable basic (lunch / water /
medicine), I make them buy it. Where I am soft is when I see an intellectual
value (non fiction book, raspberry PI). Sometimes I will split the cost. Games
and candy are fully their expense.

Logic - if I can teach them to handle their money now it will save me the
midnight call in the future "Dad ... /cry I am 3 months behind on rent and
they want to throw me out of the apartment....". WTF I am not paying your 3
months rent! The allowance, added over the years, is significantly less than 3
months rent, I think.

Reward - My young son and I were at festival, it was hot. He complained he was
'parched'. I was impressed he knew the word, so I expressed my concern and
queried as to the best remedy. My son informed me that Lemon aid would work
the best. I agreed, it would, and he marched over to the Frozen Lemon Aide
stand. When he heard me mention that it was with 'His Money'. He stopped dead
in his tracks, turned around, and asked if he could get a drink of water from
my water bottle. At that point I knew it had been working. Dads money is FREE
money, his money is a completely different thing.

~~~
eoinbmorg
My parents did this for me. As I got older (highschool) it was paid quarterly.
It even encompassed clothing/school essentials, eventually. Part of the beauty
of it was that I was incentivized to work during the summers to supplement it.
I turned out very frugal, was treasurer of my org in university, and now save
> 50% of my income living in SF. This works.

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giantg2
As the subjects become age appropriate: \+ logic/philosophy

\+ personal finance

\+ mechanical skills (home repair, auto repair, etc)

\+ home skills (cooking, cleaning, etc)

\+ circuits and programming

\+ hunt, fish, garden, mushroom

\+ politics/civics/rights (they might teach some of this in school but even
then it can be biased)

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htanirs
More than teaching I discuss various aspects of life with my elder kid.

Introspection, philosophies, why we do what we do, what we struggle to cope
with, death, governments, wealth, consumerism, corruption, business, summary
of books I read, movie details.

There is no teaching or schedule. It is a casual talk whenever he gets curious
about something. So when he questions or wants to know more the discussion
continues.

And it makes me happy when he is able to recollect or relate something
discussed in a different event.

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AnimalMuppet
How to fairly evaluate someone's ideas without having to either fully accept
them or fully reject them.

~~~
Kifot
honest question, how did you teach yourself to do it in the first place?

~~~
giantg2
I'll chime in.

This is basically the difference between western and eastern philosophies. In
the west we tend to view that one person/party's idea is absolutely correct.
In the east it is generally viewed that the truth lies somewhere between the
two ideas. This mindset can help help avoid picking sides and becoming
entrenched is what has typically become a populist dichotomy between two
usually flawed ideas (at least that's how I see it in the US more often than
not).

~~~
Kifot
I agree, it seems that in Western culture you'll be seen as indecisive unless
you pick a side and stick to it. Sometimes I'm frustrated with my tendency to
be on the fence on so many issues, but at the end of the day it really seems
more fair than having extreme views.

~~~
giantg2
I have the same thing with some issues. Like for abortion - there's really two
questions at the heart of the issue but almost nobody discusses them, so I
can't make firm decision. The two questions are what defines a human life and
when is it acceptable to take one.

I also have frustration when I pick a middle ground or outside the box idea.
For example, with the prevalence of prenups and the variety of living
situations/arrangements, I see the solution to the debate over non-traditional
marriage to be making marriage documents a private contract to remove the
government from trampling anyone's rights. Even the LGBTQ community is not
fighting for everyone's right to marry - what about incestuous (with
sterilization or longterm contraception to protect genetics) marriage or
polygamy.

I haven't laid out all the details as this is an example but I can see the
downvotes rolling in already...

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actfrench
How to teach himself

~~~
tmaly
what are your methods?

~~~
actfrench
Most of it comes through my vantage point. I see myself as a facilitator of
his curiosity, not someone who is here to feed him information.

-If he's curious about something and asks why, I don't feed him answers. I say "why do you think?" If he says, I don't know, I say, "well let's find out." and we find out together. We ask an expert. Eg, if we're walking my a neighbor's house and he wants to know why their dog is barking, I encourage him to ask the neighbor. I make sure he's intellectually satisfied. I say, does that make sense?

-I also ask him a lot of questions too. I read him a bedtime story every night. I try to get him to guess the words. If we're reading about a duck. I ask him "what sound does a duck make?" I ask him if he likes ducks, why or why not?

-I let him do what he wants to do. If he wants to watch Octonauts, I let him watch Octonauts (but I make sure to engage and ask questions). If he wants to go to the park, we go to the park. If our desires conflict. For example, if I'm tired and I need to go home, I tell him we're going home and I explain very clearly to him why that is my need.

-I model a learning mentality to him. I ask questions. I am curious about the world around me. I am curious about him and his interests.

-I'm not afraid of his boredom and his frustration. If he tries to draw a drone and is upset because it doesn't look like a drone, I encourage him to try again. I remind him that nothing great ever happened on the first try. I gently encourage him to keep trying, gently remind him how exciting it will be when he achieves it.

-I celebrate his learning moments. I notice when he mastered a new concepts. I point out to him how much his speech has improved. I even ask him how he learned all the words, so he can reflect on his own process.

-These are a few of the many ways I support his learning. They come to me naturally. I trust my natural instinct as his caregiver to support his growth into a happy, healthy, curious intellectual.

-I always allow him to engage him in projects he's passionate about, even if they seem difficult (like drawing a drone). If he's passionate about the outcome, he'll push through his frustration and in doing so, learn to learn.

-If he is upset with a choice I made, I always explain my reasons very carefully. This often forces me to reflect on my own actions as well - and models a type of being in the world that is reflective.

This might be interesting to you. It's a guide to types of inquiry, different
ways you can use questions to guide children's learning:

[https://elearningindustry.com/inquiry-based-learning-
model](https://elearningindustry.com/inquiry-based-learning-model)

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rolph
blind faith in governments; institutions; or authority figures will get you
pwned.

