
Ask HN: Have you ever hit absolute rock bottom? - raceconditioner
I&#x27;m referring to actually being broke, homeless, having no friends or family, no credentials, deteriorating mental and physical health, no prospects, starving, etc...<p>Were you able to get back up? How? Would you be able to do the same in 2020?
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uvw
Not financially, but mentally. I was married to a woman who was and still is
incredibly petty, emotional, dishonest and all around an awful person. I
developed sleep apnea, depression. I would drive around after work so as to
not come home earlier than I needed to. I tried to block her out and focus my
energy on my autistic son. Lost all friends as I didn't know how to talk to
them about my family problems. Stopped talking to my parents and sisters
because any contact with them would cause more fights with her.

I started to go on hikes and travel alone just to escape proximity with this
woman. Started drinking regularly.

I compartmentalize everything in my life, but my family life started to affect
my work life. I started fantasizing getting a job in a foreign country to
escape. Contemplated suicide many times, but I couldn't that to my kid.

Luckily, I met an incredible woman on a hike in Norway. Came back home, filed
for divorce and moved out. I am getting better slowly.

~~~
runjake
And your kid?

~~~
uvw
He is with my soon to be ex. During my parenting time I teach him, we cook
together, have long conversations, play board games, take him out for fun and
hikes. With all her faults, the ex is not a bad mother.

------
seibelj
Everyone has their own personal rock bottom and you can’t know if you’ll hit a
lower one later.

My first rock bottom was caused by depression and anxiety fully hitting me
post-college, a tough job that wasn’t going well, then my longterm girlfriend
(who I planned on marrying) cheating on me and breaking up over text message.
Full on panic attacks, moving back home, suicidal ideation, the whole works.
Therapy, exercise, and medication with SSRIs brought me out of the funk. I had
a strong support network which made it easier.

My second rock bottom was during a period of intense professional stress, that
through a strange sequence of events, almost resulted in serious legal
consequences and potentially prison. Was some very dark days with similar
suicidal ideation, panic attacks, etc. But I came out of it far stronger with
much higher risk tolerance and knowledge of myself and capabilities.

Was I homeless? Tortured? Disabled? No. But for me, it was rock bottom, and I
don’t want to be there again.

~~~
raceconditioner
Thanks for sharing. I didn't mean to invalidate your experience by listing
what I thought represented rock-bottom -- I was just tossing a couple of
examples around. I agree that we all have our limits and that's usually when
the self-destructive thoughts begin.

------
DoreenMichele
I spent nearly six years homeless. I got back into housing about 2.5 years
ago. I started multiple websites while homeless and I still run multiple
websites, some of which are pertinent to this problem space.

This comment seems to list all my homeless sites:

[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22804929](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22804929)

2020 is proving especially challenging for the homeless population. The
pandemic has made things very hard for homeless people of late.

Libraries are currently closed in many places, as are eateries with wifi and
so forth. Some shelters and soup kitchens have shut down during the pandemic.
It's pretty brutal at the moment.

But things like tablets are cheaper than when I first became homeless and
websites are generally optimized to work well on smartphones and tablets,
which was not true when I was first on the street. So there are ways in which
it is easier than ever to figure out how to problem solve and create an income
from the street and get your life back.

U will throw in this piece, which I didn't write but it's about me:

 _Homeless to housed: Her virtual life helped her out of homelessness_

[http://alexandralindelof.com/story-
package/](http://alexandralindelof.com/story-package/)

~~~
raceconditioner
Thank you for the reading material. I believe I'm going to find myself in a
similar situation soon and having those resources could really improve my
chances of recovery.

~~~
DoreenMichele
Check out r/gigworks as well. It's listed in the sidebar of some of those
sites and I run it.

If you can at all avoid homelessness, that's better. I have seen many
conversations on r/homeless and r/almosthomeless where people said "I expect
to be homeless in x weeks/months" and were encouraged to find answers before
their time ran out and they did. It's much, much easier to problem solve while
still housed.

If homelessness absolutely cannot be avoided, make sure to read the following
posts before it's too late (because things like getting a mailing address
beforehand is very helpful):

[https://streetlifesolutions.blogspot.com/2018/05/prepping-
to...](https://streetlifesolutions.blogspot.com/2018/05/prepping-to-be-
homeless.html)

[https://streetlifesolutions.blogspot.com/2019/10/climate-
and...](https://streetlifesolutions.blogspot.com/2019/10/climate-and-
unsheltered-homeless-in.html)

Best of luck.

------
audiometry
Based on my own rock-bottom experience ( a very first-world rock-bottom
problem ), I'd wouldn't identify them by some kind of 'objective measure of
misery' litmus test. Instead I'd identify by saying, "a problem where my
existing coping mechanisms no longer enable me to cope."

That's why some of these rock-bottom experiences can be great turns in life --
it forces you to do away with now-unhelpful coping strategies and find better
ones.

------
Mynewrandomu
In 2019 I lost nearly everything I loved, in the space of a week. I shook my
fist at the cobalt sky, and hoped to die.

------
poormystic
I was a technician doing industrial microcomputer repairs with that v=ir
mentality and life got impossible. Somehow I found it in myself to pray for
faith and was rewarded with a satori experience. That's more than 30 years ago
now. My life changed a lot.

~~~
jurgenwerk
What's v=ir mentality?

~~~
Jugurtha
v=ri is a simple case of Ohm's law, with an impedance with no reactive
component and no funny signals.

Being "v=ri" or having a "v=ri" mentality means not asking too many questions
or not bothering with details or nuance. The meaning is contextual and depends
on the delivery.

"That guy is v=ri", means a simpleton, without nuance or character depth,
rigid, or extremely effective. It can either be a compliment or an insult,
depending on the delivery.

"I was hungry and found a sandwich that's a week old. I was like v=ri"
(meaning the person ate the sandwich withtout asking too many questions).

It also means not bothering to understand things and blindly following a rule
all the time. No questions asked.

In the context of the comment, I believe it is repairing industrial
microcomputers with a multimeter and a soldering iron, checking continuity,
replacing parts, without digging deeper.

~~~
ak39
Thank you for explaining this so clearly. How old is this meme?

~~~
Jugurtha
You're welcome. It has been fifteen years. I was trained as an electronics
engineer. We mainly used that expression in EE starting with the first two
years of common core (people who plan to do engineering - except CS-, maths,
or physics go through two common core years where it's mostly
physics/maths/chemistry/alloys/machining/materials strength, etc. and it is in
that cohort that this was popular).

------
cpufry
i find im always finding new lows

~~~
tucaz
Sometimes we discover that the bottom of the well has a hidden basement.

~~~
jahn716
Ha, that made me chuckle.

Hope you're up on like the 3rd floor or something!

------
kleer001
There is no situation so awful that someone cannot make it worse.

