

Question To Ask When You Meet Fellow Bootstrappers - itengelhardt
http://www.it-engelhardt.de/the-1-question-to-ask-when-you-meet-fellow-bootstrappers/

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milesf
Great advice, but not a new idea:

    
    
      "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more
      significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests,
      but also to the interests of others" - Philippians 2:3-4

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fjcaetano
Well, the post pointed the obvious, which is not an easy thing to do.
Networking meetings are actually a good place to know investors more than
other entrepreneurs.

I have been to some of them and I honestly can't remember more than 5 names
that interested me. On the other hand, talking to the people who was there to
put their money on random projects is a much more meaningful chat.

Personally, whenever someone asks me recommendations to fill a vacant position
on a company I don't bet on 99% of the people I know. The other 1%, those who
I know are genuinely good, I tend to keep in contact, even if its to drink a
beer after work, just to know what's up with them and what's on their minds
lately. That's called making friends.

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beat
Funny, when I saw the title, that was my first thought.

But the deeper, better first question is "What are you working on?" Give them
a chance to make their elevator pitch, then start asking questions. There's a
good chance the "How can I help you?" can turn into "I think I could help you
with ${PROBLEM}..."

But to get there, you need to figure out what their pain points are, and what
you can actually do about them. This is no different than figuring out your
own customers, really.

And the step beyond this is to actually _do something that really helps them_.
Because if you can truly help someone, you'll make a lasting impression,
something that they will want to pay back, with interest.

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itengelhardt
Hi beat. You are probably right and this is NOT a good FIRST question. BUT...
it is a great question (that is seldomly asked) for later in the conversation.
And of course you should be able/willing to follow through. (also see my other
answer here:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6224784](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6224784))

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beat
It's certainly a useful question. But a more focused offer of help on a
specific issue seems to be a more useful approach, one that moves the
conversation forward rather than stopping it in its tracks.

If someone asked me that question cold when I first met them, I'd probably
blink, and then ask if they have about $500,000 they'd like to invest for a
seed round. Then I'd go right into my elevator pitch and see if I could get a
genuinely useful level of interest and potential help.

Here's what's bugging me about this approach, I think... it's about initiative
(in the gaming sense, not the motivation sense) and control over the
conversation. A straight-up "How can I help you?" from a stranger, without
context, throws the conversational balance off severely. My first thought
would be either "Yeah, right", or "What's the catch?" I certainly don't give
open-ended help to people, and I don't expect them to do it for me. Heck, I
don't give my wife or children open-ended help! Generosity and paying forward
are virtues, but failure to establish boundaries is not.

Keep the end goal in mind - a mutually beneficial business exchange, and the
groundwork for future exchanges. Questions are just a means to this end.
Laying groundwork is a matter of learning trust, boundaries, and capabilities.
When seeking help, we should try to understand what someone _can_ do for us,
what they _will_ do for us, how likely they are to do it, and what their
expectations are in return. So the conversation should be about groundwork.

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jontheexiled
Have anyone tried asking this cold? i.e. as an opener?

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itengelhardt
Hey Jon. Thanks for reading the article & posting a comment. Interesting
question.

I haven't and I feel that it could get a bit more akward, if you haven't
established some sort of connection first.

Another reason against it might be that if the other person blanks out, you
don't know enough about him to fill the void. In the example I've given with
Matthew, when he blanked I knew enough about him and his endeavour (writing a
book) to come up with a few ideas how he could do research for his book.

On the other hand, asking this upfront sets the tone for the entire meeting.
That is also a great benefit.

tl;dr: I might have to A/B test this - right?

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arxpoetica
For some reason, this made me think of George Washington who proscribed to
"110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation."
Probably made him a pretty decent networker (and politician).
[http://www.foundationsmag.com/civility.html](http://www.foundationsmag.com/civility.html)

