Ask HN: How to be kind? - e19293001
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alfredallan
Step 1: Try and see things from the other person's perspective.

Step 0: Try and learn about the other person's background - appreciate where
they're coming from, etc.

Step -1: Understand that your own views, beliefs, assumptions, are only a
subset of all views, beliefs, assumptions that people adhere/subscribe to.

~~~
vectorEQ
agree, i would add self-reflect. because you can't know someone else if you
don't know yourself. And you can't treat someone like you would like to be
treated, if you dont know what you like and how you'd like to be treated.

In the end i look at it this way, but thats a personal belief based on what i
noted above: > be honest (honesty over kindness anyday) > analyse your
actions, thoughts etc. and look at if they are 'giving' or 'taking'.

In my beliefs it's easy. you get what you give and they take what you take. so
if you focus on giving, you will end up getting and vice versa.

Random guy once said to me and it stuck: "I listen to the whispers of the
universe, so the universe doesn't have to scream." This has to do with
suffering, but i think this is related to the topic of being kind, as people
often become unkind due to suffering (the stress makes it difficult to learn
and understand (it==someone in this case), which makes it difficult to be
kind.)

In either case, 'kindness' is subjective, so decide for yourself what it
means, what do YOU think is kindness, when do YOU think someone is kind to
you? It's a personal view / decision which many people have their own ideas
(or just assume ideas from otheres.)Some people want to be kind to one person,
and use that as a reason to be unkind to the next. Some people think it's kind
to tell lies (think honesty might hurt), thats all opinions. i'd say honesty
and giving is the way to go personally, even if it means someone might get
hurt by it (as that pain will be shorted lived than a lie which will
accumulate energy and hurt a lot later on...)

