

Maker time and significant others - lukejduncan

There is a lot of conversation, analysis, and general agreement of the dichotomy of maker time va management time.  I occasionally find myself appling the same concept on top of maker time vs family time.  As a hacker who is soon to be married I often feel like my SO doesn't understand when I'm struck with inspiration or motivation and need near a full day to get something out of my head and into code.  I don't even have kids yet and I feel like its hard.<p>So here's my question to the makes who are also family men/women out there: how do you do it and do you think your SO understands?  Where so you strike your balance?
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writeclick
This is what mostly works for me:

0) Ensure you're truly in love with your SO, and vice versa. I'm going to
assume this evaluates to TRUE for what follows.

1) Have your SO read PG's essay on this topic; you know the one.

2) If their response is receptive and nurturing, then talk about concrete
tactics that will support the long, uninterrupted stretches of time you need
to thrive [tactics to follow, below].

If they get defensive after reading the essay, then you will know that
indulging in maker time when you _could_ otherwise be spending time with them
will need to happen A) in a separate, unshared space, and B) during hours and
within contexts that the general population of non-makers would consider a
socially acceptable time to be practicing your craft--i.e. 9-5, M-F.

If (ideally) your SO inquires as to how they can support your maker's schedule
while you're cohabitating, then explain to them how the Pomodoro technique
works, and on your breaks between Pomodoro's, give them your complete and
undivided attention. This way, you're able to focus without stressing about
possible interuptions, and your SO enjoys your full, undivided attention
during breaks, with the nice side effect of you being in a great mood during
these breaks.

3) Realize that your SO, and all the other relationships you have with friends
and family, are at least as meaningful and valuable as anything you could be
making. _Share_ the joy and purpose that making brings to your life with the
people who love you--and just as importantly--take pride and great pleasure in
the things that matter to them, too!

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kevinconroy
The key is to talk with you SO and understand their point of view. Odds are
they already feel that they've lost you to work for a significant portion of
the week... so to then say that you need another night or weekend day can be a
lot. It's all about communication and balance and no one answer is right for
every couple.

My best advice: Talk to your SO and reevaluate your priorities. You might end
up with the same priority list after you do so (which is fine) - but give it a
hard look for yourself and your SO.

