
Show HN: Too busy for online dating? Try Wednesday Night - siong1987
https://www.wednesdaynight.me/
======
CodeFoo
These dating/find-a-friend services that require Facebook show up often on HN,
and like clockwork are berated because they are Facebook-only (and the privacy
issues that go along with it).

Yet people keep making them. Am I correct to deduce they are popular and there
is market for them, and that it's only HN that hates them?

~~~
btilly
No.

You would have been correct to deduce that young 20-something people who are
trying to scratch an itch keep thinking that a better dating site (as measured
by one that can get them dates) is a real need, and the FB tie-in is an
obvious way to do it.

They keep failing for the reasons that are pointed out on HN. And since they
fail, not long after someone else looking around for an itch to scratch says,
"Why doesn't someone make a better dating site using FB? Doesn't seem like
anyone has done it yet. And HN is the perfect place to get feedback on it!"

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jmtame
We never started with the thought "why don't we use FB to build a dating
site." Facebook is simply a means to solve a lot of different problems that
come up in dating, and it ends up providing a better experience. That's all we
care about.

~~~
disc
Just to give you one user's perspective (which honestly, by virtue of being a
HN reader probably represents a very small fraction of general users); anytime
I see a service that requests I login via FB or Google, I assume you're trying
to mine my personal data. Unless you are Facebook, or Google, or maybe
LinkedIn (with whom I'm already willing to share my personal data) I'm not
going to use these options. Make this your only option and I'm going to close
the tab.

No personal offense to you, or your business. Just telling you as a geek, this
is a non-starter for me.

~~~
tomp
But they _are_ trying to mine your personal data, to confirm that you're real,
and to get to know you better so that they can match you. It's really all up
there on their website.

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gkoberger
I'm not sure how I feel about this. They aren't matching you up with people
they've vetted or know -- they're just finding you a date from other online
dating services. And then charging you $75 (which could end up being $150 for
them if they get both people via their site).

Semi-related, but Tim Ferriss has an interesting story about how he
"outsourced his love life": [http://blog.timferriss.com/1/post/2009/07/how-to-
tim-ferriss...](http://blog.timferriss.com/1/post/2009/07/how-to-tim-ferriss-
your-love-life.html)

~~~
jmtame
We've setup drinks for people through our own personal networks (one or two
degrees away from the matchmaker), and they've gone well. We use a variety of
options, but our philosophy is: we don't care where we find a match, as long
as they're good, that's all that matters. We can also keep notes on everyone
using it.

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cupcake-unicorn
This might be a weird comment, but the service seems very alcohol oriented -
meeting at a bar, covering drinks. What about people who don't drink?

~~~
jmtame
We have people who don't drink using the service and they order non-alcoholic
drinks at the venue--sometimes they're bars, sometimes lounges.

Alcohol does act as a pretty good social lubricant though. The girls actually
prefer that to extravagant dates when we've suggested them because there's
less pressure--if the chemistry isn't there, it's more acceptable to leave
after that first round rather than commit to spending a lot of time with
someone up front.

~~~
cupcake-unicorn
I don't think this service is for me at all. I'd prefer flexibility in places
to meet and not having to resort to getting inebriated to meet someone :/
Coffee shops? I'm a girl, btw.

~~~
jmtame
We're not saying you have to drink something alcoholic, we're just saying
whatever beverage you choose to drink, we'll cover it. Think of the bar as a
neutral place in public to meet up.

Our focus is on reducing all effort that goes into meeting someone, and the
scheduling is part of that. Meeting during the day won't work because most our
members are working on regular 9-5 schedules. Weekends are usually booked too.

What usually happens is if both people feel like it's going well, they'll
exchange contact info at the venue and then plan something the following
weekend and do something different.

You may want to check out Coffee Meets Bagel or How About We.

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GhotiFish
So the 75 bucks is to cover the actual match making? Or are you sending people
to some really fancy bars. How's that even work? I'm in Canada, You have deals
with franchises here?

Ah no, that's a US zip code you're asking for. I'm very familiar with the US
zip code, you see, as most US based web services present themselves as a
global service rather than a US based one, and the zip code is often the only
sign that they arn't catering to my nation.

~~~
jmtame
We haven't worked with any venues or had any dates in Canada. We're primarily
focused in SF, LA, Chicago, and NYC. Sorry about that. Hope we can add support
for you soon.

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pacifi30
We at Truffle are building something similar but with linkedIn authentication
- catering to working professionals.

We tried doing work email verification but users revolted against that and we
have to revert back to linkedIn. I guess people on HN are right when they say
that facebook logging is instant turn off but for some people entering email
address and password is even bigger.

Also yah I like your service, though you are my competitor but 75$ is a lot.
Try out making it a coffee, first date at a bar is a big sell.

By the way, if anyone of you here on HN are from Seattle and looking to grab a
coffee with someone interesting, try out www.jointruffle.com :)

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bobwaycott
Wednesday Night:

I'd be tempted to sign up with Facebook and receive a reply on exactly what
kind of person you'd try to connect me to, given what you glean from FB.

If you got it right, I'd be a step closer to giving you money (if you operated
near me). If you got it wrong, and I freely admit that I expect you will, I'd
keep my money.

Either way, I am able to determine the quality of your service. I regularly
spend $75 in a bar and have no trouble meeting people, despite how busy I am.
You don't provide a compelling reason to give that $75 to you instead of my
friendly local bartenders.

Meeting people isn't the problem. Meeting the right person, with whom I'd be
interested in more than sharing a few drinks and conversation, is _the_
problem. My closest friends of more than a decade, who know me exceedingly
better than FB, have routinely tried to connect me with someone or other. Not
one has been the right fit.

Hell, just cos I'm feeling generous, I'd even give you a hint and say one of
your staffers has the look. But that wears off in about 2.3 minutes.

DoubleHell, just cos I'm feeling that much more generous, let me suggest (if
you haven't already thought of it) that you mesh HN activity with FB activity
for an even better understanding.

Sadly, to my knowledge, we haven't yet figured out a way to determine
likelihood of _chemistry_ between superficially compatible people. Perhaps I'm
just a naysayer, but until we can figure that out, online dating just isn't
working. Apparently almost 75% of US single people have tried online dating.
Only 20% have found committed relationships (assuming that's everyone's goal,
which it isn't).[1]

We need a chemistry detector, not a compatibility detector (machine or human).

[1]: quick search leads me to stats from 2012 at
<http://www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics/>

------
jacques_chester
What happens when you can't set up a match?

What happens if someone is stood up?

What happens if you have a skewed ratio of men to women?

~~~
jmtame
Good questions.

\- If we can't setup a match, you are either being unrealistic with your
expectations (you consistently pass too often on people who we think are a
good fit), or we just don't have enough people in the pool who are in your
proximity. If it's the former, you'll need to adjust your expectations, if
it's the latter, we'll focus more attention on that area. If we just can't
make it work, we'll give you a refund. We usually can tell whether people are
being unrealistic. If you can't tell, there's a simple experiment you can run:
setup your own online dating profile to gauge the type of women who want to
talk to you.

\- If someone is stood up, we'll refund the money and the person who stood the
other up won't be invited or allowed to go out with any of our members again.
Standing people up isn't cool.

\- Our current ratio is 1:2 girls to guys. We will find you a match one way or
another. Our matchmakers border on obsessive with this stuff.

~~~
jerrya
Do you exist in all zip codes of the US?

If you are only supporting certain zip codes then I'm going to be real annoyed
when I enter half a dozen questions and THEN you tell me you're not available
in my zip code.

~~~
jmtame
If you live close to a major city (SF, NYC, LA, Chicago, Austin, Miami,
Seattle) we can do it. If you don't, I would suggest waiting until we grow the
user base out more.

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IvyMike
It is interesting that there's a human in the loop. It's sort of a Mechanical
Turk approach to web dating, and notable because it's the opposite of sites
like E-Harmony that trump the superiority of their algorithm.

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quotemstr
Things that bug me: "setup" is the noun; "set up" is the verbal phrase. When I
see 'setup" used like that, it drives me nuts.

~~~
darkstar999
login / log in

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damoncali
If you're too busy for online dating, aren't you too busy for dating in
general? Seems like a vanishingly small market - people willing to pay $75 for
a date, but unwilling to take the time to look on match.com. But I'm usually
wrong about this sort of thing, so carry on!

~~~
jmtame
It'd be a false dichotomy if you said "people who are too busy to date are too
busy for falling in love" or something similar. People are busy and online
dating eats up more time than any other type of application, including social
networking.

Matchmaking is already going on and successful relationships have been
established that way, we just make it more affordable and transparent. Linx
Dating charges $30,000 for 11 dates spread out over 2 years, and they charge
$500 just for the screening process.

Online dating has a higher frequency of use than social networking sites. It
requires more time than you'd think if you haven't tried it before.

~~~
mtowle
Hey man,

Just wanted to say you're doing an A+ job of responding to people's concerns
here in the thread. People usually suck at this, too, but you've really got
your shit down. Which, to me, demonstrates that you've been working the
product over and over in your head, i.e., the opposite of what everybody else
in this space is doing.

Because you're absolutely right. Fuck the Match.coms. Fuck the click click
click click model. I'm not 16. I have neither the time nor the inclination.

~~~
jmtame
Thank you. I think some people's concerns are valid. There's a quote that I
really like: "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." - Eli
Wiesel

In other words, we'd rather have people pissed off or uncertain about
something than to not care at all.

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nvr219
Can I get set up with Dan the matchmaker? He got that Clark Kent thing going
on.

~~~
jmtame
Dan's awesome. If you're serious about this, shoot an e-mail to me -> jared at
wednesdaynight.me and I'll introduce you to him.

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chenyuwang1988
Have you seen this website? <http://www.jointruffle.com>

Seems doing similar things but targeting different group of people.

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carbocation
So it's Grouper, but for 2 people instead of 6, and unblinded?

