

Ask HN: Concentrate on work when you have personal problems.. - BSousa

Hi<p>I was just wondering if anyone has any techniques that they use to concentrate on their work/start up when their personal life is sort of a mess and the mind keep drifting to all sort of problems you have.<p>Cheers
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simplemartin
Hi.

I have been through this myself. It's not easy concentrating on work when
something really messy has happened. I started to exercise a lot. Really
pushing my body. That was good for me and kept me on the right track.

~~~
aaronblohowiak
Yes. Especially running. <http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15769301>

Also, if you take an hour to just write it all down, often that is enough to
cease rumination. Another technique is to identify what is going to change
before you can _do_ something about the problem, and then when it comes to
mind, remind yourself that you can do something when x happens.

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grandalf
I have found that things can be distracting when you don't really have a
strategy for dealing with them and have not taken any action on that strategy.
So:

Step 1: Come up with a strategy (a bunch of steps to take to address the
problem)...

Step 2: Take action on at least one of the steps. The more steps you take
action on, the better you will feel.

Step 3: Vigorous exercise and plenty of sleep.

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antirez
It's probably better to stop working for a while, try to fix the problems, and
back to work. But it's way too subjective I guess. For instance for me the
only problems that are really problems are health problems, all the rest is
for definition trivially fixable by evolving yourself or by pragmatic steps.

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xcombinator
I agree with most advice here:

a)Do Meditation and relaxation, yoga, self help books, fill your mind holes.
b)Exercise regularly, this is important, if one day you don't have time to
run, just go out and run for 5 minutes, but don't stop. c)Talk with friends
about it.

For the kind of work I do, just putting myself to work won't help, e.g if I
broke with my gf I can't help but I will be 85 per cent of my time thinking
about her, or if someone of my family dies(my mind just says: F*CK THAT stupid
work thing, this is more important!!.

Only when I solve the issues, I'm free, just look at Graham Chapman funeral:
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsHk9WC7fnQ&feature=playe...](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsHk9WC7fnQ&feature=player_embedded#t=260)

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jeromec
If you're a programmer this can be troublesome because a focused mind is what
is needed to be productive, whereas you could get away with many other types
of work while letting your mind wander. I think the best approach depends on
the type of problem(s), but many problems, like emotional ones, may need time
to get better. One thing I always try to remember is that nothing lasts
forever - good or bad. This can be a comfort in bad times.

A technique I use to be productive as a programmer is to try and finish a
section of work in half the time. This mental demand won't let the mind
wander. Promise yourself a reward at the end (such as being allowed to slack
off at HN for a while ;). This works for both problems and procrastination,
and can give you a positive boost for having accomplished a task. Try to break
your workload (and problem solutions if possible) into smaller chunks to deal
with, otherwise you can easily feel overwhelmed.

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adaptives
I will share something which worked for me...

Take life one hour at a time... or one short goal at a time. So before leaving
from home for work, I would have one goal - "I need to get to work in 45
mins", that's it, no more thought about anything else.

Once at work, I would have this short goal "I need to check my mail in the
next 30 mins", then "I need to work on this bug or feature for the next
hour"... and so on.

This kept me on track without letting my mind get caught up in the problems,
and become numb.

I also took 1 hour vacations... where I would go on an hour long drive to some
nice place away from the city, and listen to music. It helped me refresh my
spirits.

HTH.

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BSousa
First, thank you for all the tips. They are indeed appreciated.

I don't overwork, actually, I have flexible work schedule so these last days
I'm actually underworking since it is very hard to concentrate (I'm a
programmer) when I don't have much sleep and thoughts keep coming to my mind
which distract me from my job (boss knows about it and he's being supportive
but his patience can only go so far).

Unfortunately, this rump is mostly due to external factors I can't really
change, only try to accept them as best as I can, but still wreaks havoc on my
job which I need to pay the bills.

~~~
thismat
Having gone through the roughest patch in my life in the last year, I
experienced this. The one thing that killed my productivity more than anything
else was a mixture of A) Feeling like work was meaningless and questioning why
I worked so hard in the first place and B) Sleeping 3 hours a nigh at most
mixed with only eating a few meals a week.

Mostly it just took time for me to get back on a semi-normal routine,
meditation, exercise, nutrition and rest are really really key factors though.

I hope things get better for you soon.

~~~
jeromec
I totally agree about good nutrition. Rest and exercise also can be
beneficial. I think it's important to take care of yourself physically and try
to do positive things that make you feel good. One thing I might also try is
to wake up very early and go out for a brisk walk. The new day may improve a
down mood.

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imperator
All of our comments may work for us, but there will be something that works
for you, and that will have to do with putting whatever is out of balance for
you back into a place so you can be healthy, happy and focused.

I find meditation relaxes me enough and gives me a sense of calm that is good
enough to address both the personal problems and the work. Mainly this occurs
because as my mind settles, I am more able to address the issues one at a
time.

Good luck, you will move beyond this! Have hope :)

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dryicerx
I know what you mean... take some time off and do something new, DO NOT
overwork to get your mind off things. It will be good for you and what ever
you're working on.

~~~
pplante
Agree, don't bury yourself in work. The problems do not go away, they just
fester.

~~~
hitonagashi
To me, it depends if you can do something about it. Burying yourself in work
does take your mind off it. Of course, if you need to resolve it, then it's a
bad idea, but in the case of say, a loved one in hospital, where all you can
do is wait, then I like the solution of burying yourself in work.

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csuper
I just ask myself, "Is there anything you can do to fix it right now?" If the
answer is no, I feel less stressed and am more able to focus on other tasks.

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woadwarrior01
When I was going through something like this, I was just coding like there's
no tomorrow. It almost felt like I'd turned into a bot. This lasted for some
2-3 months or so after which things came back to normal. Looking back, it
feels like its better to drown yourself in work rather than brood over your
circumstances.

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kwamenum86
Talk to someone about it. I mean just really vent. Doesn't matter if what you
are saying makes sense. You will feel better for getting it out. And if it
does make sens eyou may even learn something.

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chanux
In my case I found it dragging myself in to hacking/working on cool techy
stuff more and more is a relief.

But no guarantee that you _fix_ your life problems this way.

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arvidj
My dad was a workaholic, he dived into work instead of working stuff out with
me and the rest of my family. Maybe he could give you a few pointers.

~~~
pplante
Gee, someone has some pent up teenage angst...

