
Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen? - cromulent
Coworkers often touch my laptop screen, jabbing at some interesting item. I don't like it. Actually, I think it is rude, but I feel bad about requesting that they don't do it, or even quietly getting out my eyeglass polishing cloth and removing the mark in front of them.<p>Is it OK to touch someone's laptop screen?<p>Or am I being over-sensitive?<p>As a freelancer, I have my own (expensive) laptop, whereas many co-workers have company-bought ones, but I felt that way even when I had a company one.
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cschep
I always start the sentence with...

"I know this is weird, but..."

It helps me get to the actual point of direct confrontation, but by blaming it
on myself it helps absorb some of the awkward.

Truly though, I hate it when people touch my laptop's screen!

~~~
rjurney
Let out a little scream like a madman, "aaaahhh! no touch screen!"

Silliness works.

Or my favorite: "Touching my computer is like touching my penis. Seriously."

~~~
__david__
Ok, if someone used your favorite line on me it would provoke an entire hand
rubbing across the screen, but then I'm a bit of a real life troll. :-)

~~~
shard
I don't think what you would have done would be trolling, it'd be making a
pass at him.

------
tsally
Wow I'm hearing tons of complicated ways to avoid direct conversation. If you
pay several thousand dollars for a machine, I'm pretty sure you get to decide
to gets to do what with it. If it is your companies screen, you are still
responsible for it, so the same thing applies. Next time it happens, just
politely explain how you feel. There's no need for the passive aggressive
solutions that a few people are suggesting.

~~~
devin
The reason people have all these passive aggressive solutions is because they
feel kind of embarrassed that they have such an attachment to an inanimate
object. It's like telling someone not to touch your baby.

I know most people will claim that it's just the cost of the item, but in
reality I think it's that they're addicted to that little window into the
machine. I know I am.

~~~
Sephr
It's more likely because you don't want to have to clean fingerprints off the
screen.

~~~
devin
Wow, this is proof that this place is turning into Digg more and more every
day.

------
__david__
I see a lot of posts from the anal retentive crowd. Here's the opposite
opinion:

I think it's ok to touch laptop screens. I touch my own and if I'm interested
enough in pointing something out I may touch yours because at that point I'm
at a completely different place mentally and not thinking about your little
quirks. One of my co workers stressed out every time I touched his screen but
it didn't make me stop. I'd avoid it when I remembered but I frankly don't
believe it's a big issue. He'd let a loud annoyed sigh and reach for the
cleaner that he kept by his desk and I'd laugh at him.

Your pet peeve is not really my problem.

Your expensive screen is not brittle and will not crack at the slightest
touch. It will not melt under the powerful corrosive force of my finger oils.
It just makes a little streak. Get over it and carry one of those fuzzy lcd
wipey things with you if it bothers you that much.

Anyway, people like me exist. We will annoy you but it's (mostly)
unintentional. You can try to point out your annoyance in all sorts of
amusing/passive aggressive ways but it's not going to completely work. It's
still going to happen. Realize that you're being a bit irrational and get over
it.

~~~
IsaacSchlueter
I've learned that people like you exist, and there is an easy way to deal with
them. Simply flat-out refuse to engage in a meaningful dialog unless you stop
touching my fucking screen. In fact, I'll even get up and walk away if
necessary. ("How about we go discuss this at your monitor?")

It's not about the expense, and calling it a pet peeve is very dismissive.
It's about respect and personal space more than anything else.

Consider this: I'm more comfortable without pants on. When I work from home,
in my own space, I'm usually not wearing pants. But when I come into the
office, I put on pants, because I have some modicum of respect for the people
I work with, and I know that pantslessness is going to make people
uncomfortable.

Your behavior doesn't bother _you_ , but ignoring the fact that it bothers
_others_ is the very definition of rudeness. Do you also lick strangers?

~~~
skwaddar
Damn, now I want to take my pants off and smear my hands across your screen.

Honestly, if you started getting up and walking away every time I came to your
cube, I'd be there 3 times a day and half of the other people in the office
would be in on it and find it hilarious and you'd probably end up in the
cupboard crying and hand in your notice.

Seriously just say "please don't touch my screen" instead of this hilarious
behaviour.

~~~
IsaacSchlueter
Jeez, why would anyone want to work with such a bully? Do you take your
coworkers' lunch money, too?

I'd just quit, simple as that. If my boss wanted me to stay, he'd make sure
you stopped or left. I'm an experienced javascripter in Silicon Valley.
Finding a job is not a problem, in this or any economy, and nothing's worth
working in a hostile environment. If you were working for me, you'd be fired
on the spot for such behavior.

In a professional environment, blatant disrespect should not be tolerated. I'm
pretty sure my feelings on this matter are not unusual.

~~~
skwaddar
So you'd tolerate your co-workers passive aggressive bullshit?

The "don't touch my screen" thing is fine by me, but that mardy shit can fuck
off, either say it or get out.

------
stijnm
It is not OK for others to smudge/grease/smear/taint/foul or otherwise violate
your screen. No matter how expensive the screen is or who owns it.

I used to be one of those until I forced myself to take a pencil everywhere
for if I could not hold back the urge. This keeps the screen clean and makes
pointing more accurate.

My advice: Don't feel bad about telling them to back off - they may not even
know this is not done. And if they do it again, compare it to if they had to
use a (sweaty) friend's keyboard or mobile phone. So, limiting possible
exposure to this is in everyone's favour.

------
mgrouchy
I agree completely, people do this all the time, waving pens at my screen,
etc. I think the easiest way to do it was the way you suggested, most people
will get the hint if you just polish the smudge they left in front of them.
You don't have to be rude or anything. You can even be discreet about it.
People will still get the point.

~~~
Tangurena
I had a co-worker who used to stop what she was doing, and blurt some
variation of "here, let me help you clean that fingerprint off my monitor" and
then proceed to engage in her ritual of cleaning the CRT (this predated LCD
monitors). Several other coworkers intentionally would poke the monitor with
their fingers (the grease from the side of your nose is great for this), just
to get a rise out of her.

The day she pulled her little routine on one of the vice presidents was her
last day at the office. She was out of the building before lunch.

~~~
olliesaunders
This is almost making me angry. Someone would fire someone else for that?
Please tell me you're not saying that.

~~~
codyrobbins
The company shouldn't fire someone for not knowing their place in front of a
vice president and making a snide remark? I think that's absolutely
acceptable. If the vice president wants to touch your screen, you're not
really in a place to chew him out about it. I would venture to guess that
doing so was most likely indicative of broader issues with the employee in
this case, i.e., if she doesn't know her place in front of upper-level
executives, how is she interacting with important customers, contractors,
vendors, government officials, etc.?

~~~
olliesaunders
This is _hacker_ news dude! We hate authoritarians throwing their weight
around.

~~~
codyrobbins
I stand by what I said. Just because I'm a hacker I don't have to have a
misplaced sense of my own self-importance in front of someone like a vice
president.

~~~
olliesaunders
I wouldn't do what this person did in front of a VP either but being fired for
it is not something I approve of. Although, as another commenter mentioned, if
it was delivered in a significantly snotty way being fired becomes quite
predictable. Authority believes it has earned the right not be spoken down to
but real winners won't care, much.

------
SwellJoe
I've seen children do this (and asked them politely to look but not touch),
but adults, really?

You could keep a couple of laser pointers handy for the touchy ones. Just hand
it to them whenever they show up. Everybody likes lasers.

------
mad44
Boy, it seems like your post hit a nerve. On the other hand (no pun intended),
we look forward to buying Apple's tablet... Go figure.

~~~
Timothee
If the Apple tablet is real, it will most likely come with that fancy-schmancy
oleophobic screen they put on the iPhone 3GS. So, no problemo: put it in your
oversized pocket, take it out, and "boom" (tm) it's clean.

------
dryicerx

      don't touch it
      slaps with large trout
      so sad a smudge

------
msie
First of all, you shouldn't apologize for telling people not to touch your
screen.

I would be curt about it when it happens: "Please don't touch the screen,
thanks." And say it with a smile. That way it would almost be a disposable,
passing remark like: "Watch your step.". Making a big production of it would
be worse for both sides. You want to say something and just move on so the
incident doesn't linger too long. In a way, you are trusting the person to get
the point. If he/she doesn't get it then it's their fault, not yours. I can
see how this would be difficult if it doesn't suit your personality or the one
you project at the office.

------
sherrod
This thread is really fascinating, ranging from the hilarious to the
intelligent. I agree that touching isn't THAT big of a deal that you need to
get all worked up. However, there are legitimate reasons for not touching
people's screens. I have a screen with a matte display -- that's without the
extremely glossy and reflective glass covering. If someone has even the
shortest of short fingernails -- and most people do -- they're going to do
some kind of damage to the rather sensitive, uncovered screen. I'm not about
to go get a mirror -- other people call them glossy screens -- just to protect
my screen from your projectile fingers. If I do touch a screen, which happens
because like some person said, you don't always think about it, I make sure to
touch with the pad of my finger and not the nail. And pens are a complete
nofuckingway no matter what kind of screen it is. They will ruin any screen.
You ever try to get ink out of a tiny indentation in a glass screen? Because
you can't. It's happened to me.

So in conclusion, if your screen isn't glass-covered and they're coming at it
like an ICBM, definitely say something polite (Excuse me..., Please don't...,
Umm...). But if your screen is protected and they're not using a pen/knife to
point...let it go. Most screens are so bright you can't even see smudges.

------
pj
There was an article here the other day from some hacker that almost proudly
stated that he went through 2 or 3 laptops a year. I thought this was
absolutely ridiculous. My laptops last five years or more. What a waste of
money.

If you love something, take care of it and it'll last longer and treat you
well. We live in a disposable society. I was always taught to take care of
things so they would last. You too apparently.

I like a clean screen.

------
duncanj
I think it's fine to touch the screen.

~~~
JeremyChase
You think it is fine to touch the screen, but this thread is showing you that
many people do not agree.

Please do not touch my screen.

------
jhancock
I ask people to use the back of their finger (the fingernail side), instead of
the part with all the oil. Its a nice compromise and keeps off most smudges
while not taking away people's ability to express themselves.

As for a pen, that simply warrants breaking someone's hand for a first
offense. Word will get around quick after that ;).

------
brandon272
It's mostly clients who touch my screen, and they also happen to be the last
people I would ever say anything to. But truth be told, I don't really
consider it that big of a deal. I am of the opinion that you should pick your
battles in life and in most cases it's just easier to take a cloth out of your
drawer and wipe the screen than it is to say something to someone who may take
it too personally or cause you unneeded grief in some way. When you tell
someone not to touch your screen, most of them will immediately feel
embarrassed. Some people will channel this embarrassment into not touching
screens anymore and others will take your comment too personally and channel
this embarrassment into making your life unpleasant in some way that just
isn't worth it.

------
mtinkerhess
I'd say it's more rude to touch someone else's screen than to ask someone not
to touch your screen. Go ahead and tell them not to dirty up your screen.

The situation with the company laptop is a little more complicated because the
property is, in some ways, as much theirs as it is yours. Still, you're using
the equipment so you have a right to keep it smudge-free, whether by wiping
off the mark or by asking them not to do that. Hopefully they'd take the hint
if they saw you wiping away the smudge.

------
bfinch
Interesting to see all the followups. I had no idea that anyone cared about
this. Reminds me of guys who don't like people touching their cars. I'd
encourage all the folks advising the OP to be curt or to ostentatiously rub
out the smudge to imagine a guy in a polo shirt wearing Ray-Bans. Perhaps his
collar is turned up. Now imagine this man behaving the same way after someone
touches the finish on his Corvette. You are the geek equivalent of that guy.

~~~
Calamitous
Except Mr. Polo doesn't have to spend ten hours a day staring straight into
his car's finish.

------
cesare
I hate when people do this. And I'm surprised by how many people don't
understand the problem.

It's not necessary to touch the screen even if you're pointing something. Grab
the mouse (or use the touchpad) or just point without touching. Is it so
difficult?

It's obviously a habit acquired by interacting with paper and less fragile
(and expensive) media. But for me it is a sign of ignorance.

I hate this so much that I avoid to bring my laptop at meetings unless it is
strictly necessary.

~~~
zmimon
> Grab the mouse (or use the touchpad) or just point without touching. Is it
> so difficult?

Point without touching please. I never want to touch someone else's mouse or
keyboard. They are among the dirtiest most germ infected places you can find
and touching them is bad for both you and the person with the keyboard / mouse
/ touchpad.

------
planckscnst
Wow. I must admit that I'm guilty of being a screen-toucher. It's not out of
ignorance or disrespect or anything like that; I've been around computers my
whole life. I have no idea why I do it, but I've even done it a couple of
seconds after someone asked me not to. I don't get annoyed at all at people
when they tell me not to, I get embarrassed and sometimes annoyed at myself
for having done it (especially if it's repeated).

~~~
IsaacSchlueter
You should just not have conversations near other people's monitors about
what's on their monitors. Ask them to come to your cube, or take a screenshot
and circle the spot in question.

------
cromulent
OK, at least I know it's not just me, even if it is trivial.

Good points all around. I still think that some things are not for casual
touching (camera lenses, laptop screens, TV screens, eyeglasses, mirrors, etc)
but I get that the smudges don't bother some people at all, so it's not that
they are being rude, just they aren't aligned with my personal peeves.

My laptop is an important personal item, not that it has a pet name, just that
it's something I use all day every day and chose carefully. Maybe like a
bicycle couriers bike, or something. I make my living with it. Treat it with
respect, please.

Anyway, I find the smudges distracting. In the end, that's the thing.

Obviously clients, prospects, and vice presidents get to touch it with
impunity. Colleagues with pizza fingers will get cschep's prefix.

------
travisjeffery
Haha, yay! Now I can bring people to this post to show them that I'm not
alone.

I agree wholeheartedly, why do they just have to touch our screens?

I'm a direct person so I just say swiftly and quickly "Don't touch my screen."

------
andrewljohnson
Well, my girlfriend and co-founder flips out whenever I touch her monitor. I
understand where she's coming from, and we're still together, so you can
probably get away with warding off your co-workers paws.

This assumes of course that they don't harbor some secret dislike for you,
such that your complaints might touch off an avalanche of retribution that
leaves you jobless, homeless, and pariahed by society at large.

------
keefe
I remember getting chewed out when I was assisting in some training class for
my company and accidentally touched this guy's screen.... I think it's a
pretty common gripe and there's nothing inherently wrong with asking them not
to do it, but if I were freelancing? I certainly would not be complaining
about trivia like this. In social situations, I find it best to be positive,
positive, positive!

------
thingie
Well, I would just tell them not to do it, because the screen gets dirty and
you have to either clean it all the time, or you can't see anything on it.
It's not rude to say something like "Well, I'm sorry, but please, don't touch
the screen, it gets dirty, ok?". At least I think so.

Of course this is most likely very depending on the culture and place where do
you live.

------
cognominal
With thé upcoming generalisation of touch screens it will be difficult people
not to touch the screen. On the other hand a pal upgrading from the iPhone 3G
to 3GS told me that his preferred feature was the oleophobic screen. So
touching other screen may not be an étiquette problem anymore but a normal way
of interaction.

------
kbaribeau
I think the problem with telling most people not to touch your screen is that
often they don't see an alternative. So I always make sure I have a pen with
me. If someone touches my screen, I usually just hand them my pen and say
"Here, point with this".

Not only do you avoid the finger-oil issues, but it's also more accurate.

------
jcdreads
The only proper response is to touch their glasses, leaving an identical
smudge there.

------
chrischen
Yea everyone loves touching mine too. But since mine is hard, it probably
isn't harmful, but it _is_ annoying.

I have the macbook pro with the hard black screen. Though the matte screen
might be more of a concern if someone touches it.

------
_pius
It's completely unacceptable to touch someone else's laptop screen without
asking.

------
vl
If somebody actually touches my screen while pointing at it I immediately say
"Do not touch the screen!" It appears that people don't perceive it as rude
and just continue pointing without touching.

------
beefman
I used to clip a telescoping pointer on the edge of my CRT. Nowadays I just
break your finger at the knuckle and say, <Moe>What's the matter with
yooouu</Moe>.

------
dimarco
My boss used touch my screen with a pencil. He'd actually draw light lines on
the screen with the graphite.

I had to buy a box of wet wipes to clear the screen whenever he left my desk.

Drove me nuts.

------
vnuk
I threaten them openly. Touch my screen again and I will hurt you. If they
repeat the offense I snap them over the fingers.

Worked in every company I was employed...

------
Calamitous
"can he touch my laptop screen?"

Absolutely. As long as he doesn't mind losing the finger he touched it with.

Of course, I'm assuming you _meant_ with his finger...

------
reid
I've tried moving my laptop further away from their hand, but that was
apparently too subtle. Next time I'll be more vocal about it.

------
jlees
Sometimes if I'm pointing something out I can't help but touch the screen by
mistake but I'm always apologetic about it :/

------
davewasthere
I put a sign on the top of my monitor saying "Don't touch the screen".

And I'd smack people's fingers with my ruler when they did.

Damn fingerprints! :-)

------
sharjeel
I usually say "Here, you can use the mouse to point at the screen" and then
clean the smudge in front of them.

------
tungstenfurnace
Buy some a soft cloth and some cleaning fluid (that won't dissolve your
screen).

Make a big show of cleaning it.

------
joechung
It isn't rude for them to do it until after you tell them not to. So tell them
to stop.

------
bajanme
Haha! Pisses me off too, just like people that adjust my car stereo!

------
quellhorst
I say "Don't touch the screen, it easily smudges or gets scratched."

------
mhb
Related but tougher:

s/coworker/other people's kids/

s/laptop screen/your house/

s/coworker's finger/food/

------
californiaguy
If you don't have the personality to tell them, just print out a small label
that says "Please don't touch the screen" and tape it to your laptop.

~~~
vijayr
or "Thank you for not touching the screen"

~~~
pbhj
Or "touch the screen and I'll fscking kill you" ...

------
zackattack

        Don't touch my screen. Yes I'm serious. Go clean it up. Now.
    

I use this method and it helps me avoid building up resentment towards people.

------
TweedHeads
Create a funny web page and have it bookmarked on your browser.

Whenever someone approaches you, quickly switch to that web page.

donttouchmyfuckingscreenorillkillyou.com is available.

~~~
TweedHeads
This bookmarklet may help:

    
    
      javascript:document.write("<h1 style='font-size:10em'>Don't touch my screen!</h1>")

~~~
TweedHeads
Also this one (Firefox only)

    
    
      javascript:(function (){document.querySelector("body").style.MozTransform="rotate(180deg)";})()

------
afed
That isn't fucking acceptable, invite the douche bag to clean your screen for
you the next time he does that.

------
jknupp
Only if he buys you dinner first

------
qeek
I told you homeboy U can't touch this

(...)

Look in my eyes, man U can't touch this

------
pbhj
"Oh, you like the screen, apparently if you clean it with urea it stays
brighter [hushed tone] I know a cheap source, I manufacture my own [looks down
momentarily],[returning to conversation] now where were we ..."

------
kentbrew
Yeah, this makes me crazy, especially since it always seems to be the clueless
project managers who touch my screen.

Personally, I have long arms, big hands, and terrible close-up vision, so I
approach other people's monitors very slowly, with the back of my pinkie, and
really do my best not to touch the part of the computer that isn't supposed to
be touched. Anything else is just rude; you are sticking your finger into the
retina of the person who owns the machine.

