
Ask HN: My cofounder is pregnant, what should I do? - sgallant
So, myself and my cofounder have been bootstrapping a project that we're both really excited about.  We launched a prototype, got lots of great feed back, we are writing a bunch of code, did a bunch of planning, communications, fundraising and marketing. We're scheduled to receive a grant in a few months that should allow us to take things to the next level. We discussed having equal ownership but we haven't yet formed a company.<p>We're aiming on launching version 1 of our product in a few months.  Here's the thing, that same month, she will be giving birth to her first child and will be taking a year-long maternity leave.  Over the course of the last 6-months she has proven to be a top notch partner; thorough, bright, inspiring, motivated, complimentary in skills, and finally, she has become a good friend of mine.<p>I really don't know what to do. I want to work in an environment that puts family first, but I feel like I can't afford that right now. I don't think it's fair for me to build this business myself over the course of the next year or so while only owning half of the project.  Plus, I don't know if I can do it myself?  Finally, I don't think it's fair to expect her to do any work during her maternity leave.<p>Any thoughts? I would love some feedback from any female or parent HNers out there.
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tptacek
Male. Parent. First kid born during a startup I founded. My spouse works with
me in my current startup, reads and occasionally posts here, and will smack me
down publicly if I'm wrong about this.

(1) A full year isn't "maternity leave". Companies are (reasonably) expected
to work around maternity leave, but professional moms routinely come back to
work a few months after giving birth. Staying at home with a baby for a year
is totally reasonable, but casting that as "maternity leave" is less
reasonable.

(2) But please note that there may be benefits-related reasons to maintain
employment status or calling a stretch of time "maternity leave". The next
9-12 months are going to be health-insurance-intensive. COBRA is very
expensive and suboptimal for other reasons too.

(3) If neither of you have left your day jobs, neither of you have started the
company yet, and this is all a moot point.

(4) All else equal, the primary thing you're valuing with founder equity is
risk taken. Outside of exceptional circumstances, you shouldn't be giving
equal allocations to people who aren't full-time at the company. But re-read
point (2) and don't look for reasons to call someone "not full time" when they
are effectively full time. There are also knobs you can turn here; for
instance, if cash flow is the biggest problem in the first year of the
company, and your cofounder is still pulling in a salary, maybe she can kick
some back to the company to retain status. Or maybe you can keep the
allocations simple but start the vesting clock for her later than yours.

(5) Remember that your startup idea, as excited as you may be about it, is
_going to fail_. Virtually all of them do. There is an overwhelming
survivorship bias in the stories we read online about startups. You will have
100 better ideas for startups over the next couple years. You will _not_ find
100 ultra-compatible cofounders. So another knob you can turn: keep this
current idea small and side-project-y, don't go out of your way to grow it,
wait out the new parenthood stuff, and then pick something else up next year.

~~~
abbasmehdi
Great points. I would also suggest:

Ask her what her thoughts are _without_ giving any indication that you have
reached any conclusions in your own mind already. Just pull information out of
her and not push any over into her during this chat. Maybe she will offer
something that will work without you pushing for anything.

~~~
sgallant
That's great advice, thanks.

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arkitaip
You need to have a frank discussion with your co-founder ASAP. Is the plan
really for her to do no work at all for a full year? I don't see how that's
possible as a startup co-founder. For instance, how will you pay your bills?

This is a major risk/threat to your startup and you need to plan carefully on
how to managed it if you plan to be around by this time next year.

Also: [http://www.quora.com/Pregnancy-and-Work/Is-it-wrong-to-
fire-...](http://www.quora.com/Pregnancy-and-Work/Is-it-wrong-to-fire-an-
unvested-co-founder-who-becomes-pregnant-at-a-startup)

~~~
sgallant
Thanks for the link. And yes, this will be her first child so she is planning
to take the year off (she'll be on maternity leave from her "real" job). She
the kind of person that would probably squeeze in extra time for our project
when ever should could, but I don't know if I want to put that stress on her.

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jakejake
I think a fair way to treat it may be to set up a schedule for your equity to
be vested, if you did not do that already.

Say, typically your equity may be vested over 5 years. If she had put in a
year so far then 20% of her equity has vested. The rest will start accruing
once she re-joins the company.

That would be a fair way to go I think because if she does return then you can
continue your partnership.

~~~
sgallant
Great suggestion. How would you take into account the entry of a new partner
in year 3, for example? Would that new partner just dilute everyone? Can you
suggest any good reading on vesting schedules?

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mikeleeorg
I'm not female nor a parent (yet), but I also believe in a family-first
environment. My startup is in the education field, so children and families
are at the core of why we're doing what we're doing.

Here's one thought:

What if your cofounder wasn't pregnant, and simply wanted to take a year off?
How would that change the way you think everything?

In other words, forget the fact that she's pregnant (or even that your
cofounder is female, in case that's swaying your opinion), and just think
about it as a generic cofounder with complimentary skills that will be
departing for a year.

This would raise some thoughts and questions for me:

1\. How likely will your cofounder come back in one year?

2\. How do you keep going forward alone? (e.g. hire, find more cofounders,
etc)

3\. How do you compensate her for the IP she's already contributed? (i.e.
company equity, consider her work done as a loan to be repaid, etc)

4\. If the compensation to her is equity, what is the equity split? My guess
is it wouldn't be 50/50, but what is a fair amount that compensates you
adequately, yet still provides an incentive for her to return?

5\. How will being alone for a year effect your fundraising activities? Most
investors invest in teams moreso than ideas. If you are doing this alone for
one year, investors will likely view you as a single founder.

It's very likely that you come up with a contingency plan and hire contractors
to keep you going for a year, then when your cofounder returns, she returns to
her part of the venture.

Or, you part ways amiably, and her compensation is a small equity stake and a
role as an advisor or something, while you seek another cofounder to continue.

I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully you both can talk it out and come up
with a suitable arrangement for you both.

~~~
sgallant
Very good points, thank for this new perspective. If she were taking a year
off for other reasons I would think about it in a very different way. But
ultimately, the outcome would be the same.

You're right, we need to have this conversation before we dump more time into
this.

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anonhacker
You guys have contributed equals parts so far create the company and split it
evenly. Don't be greedy, focus on making the pie bigger not getting a bigger
piece of the pie. Don't complain because she might benefit from your work
along with you.

As a co founder, she should have a commitment to the project and will probably
contribute in whatever capacity she can for the time being. If she is as
valuable as you claim, she is worth keeping around and will probably return as
soon as she can. If you need help with your project, get some.

~~~
sgallant
Very good points. To be honest, I'm not too concerned with ownership. However,
I do have a sense of this situation not being fair. The real problem is that I
need her help, and I'm going to have a really tough time finding someone who
has her passion, skill set and motivation.

~~~
intended
Ah, thats probably the most clear cut description of your problem then.

So for argument sake - this could just as well be a male co-founder who has a
major personal issue that he needs to take care of, but his skills and
presence is needed.

So this is a "see what knobs you can turn" situation. What are your hard
limits - do you have to be cranking it now? Can you focus on some other part
of the project? can you slow down the pace? Do you have to meet some
deadlines? Can their work be done in advance? Basically - What are the knobs
you have? Figure that out, and then twist to get the best fit.

As someone pointed out, a good co-founder is hard to find. Also, this is a
pretty important time for her too, shes got two things she is strongly
invested in, and having to make a choice like this sucks.

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jabo
Tricky situation!

Here are my observations based on what you described:

The very fact that you're thinking if it would be fair for you to build the
business on your own while owning only half the business suggests to me that
it's only the incentive of owning more of the business (or rather the lack of
such an incentive) that is preventing you from actually doing it on your own.
You already know you will be able to do it alone deep inside or so your style
of writing suggests.

That said, I would suggest you speak to your co-founder about how the business
should grow in her absence. That should get the ball rolling and set the tone
for one of you to bring up this topic.

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msie
I'm sure your cofounder has thought of this too. At some point did you miss
the opportunity to have a discussion about the future of the startup when she
leaves for maternity leave? Or is she convinced you can do the majority of the
work for a year and the matter is settled in her mind? _edit_ Anyways, you
have to have a discussion with her. It's going to hurt less now than later.

~~~
sgallant
She was very nervous she decided to tell me she was pregnant; I told her that
I was excited (which was honest) and that we should think about it and discuss
it later. Then we developed a plan up until the month of our launch and her
pregnancy. And to be honest, we haven't discussed what will happen going
forward from there.

You're right, we need to have that conversation sooner rather than later.

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devs1010
Figure out a way to buy her out or whatever needs to be done to get her out of
the picture, how can someone take a year off as a startup founder? That
doesn't make sense.

