
A Little Fellow with a Big Head: On Fernando Pessoa - apollinaire
https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2020/07/27/a-little-fellow-with-a-big-head/
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bscphil
I see only five paragraphs in this article, but it feels very introductory
like the beginning of a much longer piece. Is there more somewhere else that
I'm missing?

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bboy13
Created an account to comment on this.

The authors of this article seem to interpret this as an imaginative fancy of
his that he "created"; rather, this actually seems to be a classic case of a
polyfragmented DID system [of identities], also known as complex DID.

Oftentimes, alters are not formed consciously, and this is a severe disorder
that is heavily traumagenic in nature. In my personal nonprofessional opinion,
it's one of the harder non-neurodegenerative diseases to live with.

Source -- personal experience, I'm on the dissociative spectrum in some way,
as best as I know. Expecting to receive a diagnosis shortly as an OSDD-1b
system, and potentially DID under the ICD/ANP qualifications. The dissociative
spectrum is actually shockingly common as a disorder, appearing in up to 1 in
12 in the general population, but is almost never diagnosed because much like
PTSD in the 80's, it's heavily underemphasized and is seemingly not well-
popularized in psychological circles today. Rather, the food fight over the
legitimacy of DID seems to be taking away from work that could be done to
further dissociative treatment modalities/other complex trauma disorders.
Sauce on the 1 in 12 stat:
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4579511/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4579511/)

More info on polyfragmented systems here:[https://this-is-not-
dissociative.tumblr.com/post/18617448707...](https://this-is-not-
dissociative.tumblr.com/post/186174487079/polyfragmented-systems)

~~~
cjhveal
I'm inclined to agree with you, that this sounds very much like a presentation
of Dissociative Identity Disorder, with the reservation that I don't know the
situation or the individuals beyond these simple reports.

It sounds like you've done quite a bit of reading on this and are consulting
with a mental health professional towards a diagnosis. While this might not be
relevant to you, if you haven't already, you may want to also explore and
discuss together the schizophrenia spectrum. It's also much broader than many
people realize and has significant overlap with the dissociative spectrum. It
doesn't have to involve the kinds of extreme hallucination or delusion
stereotypically associated with schizophrenia itself.

For instance someone with Schizoid PD might experience a sense of switching
between personas when they are exhibiting covert characteristics. Or a person
with Schizotypal PD might experience shifts in identity as a result of sub-
psychotic disturbances, or might turn their suspicion inward to ruminate on
the nature of their own identity.

You likely have a stronger sense of established alters since you specifically
mention OSDD-1b, but for folks experiencing symptoms of
depersonalization/derealization, you might be interested in looking into and
talking with a mental health professional about the negative symptoms of
schizophrenia and the cluster A disorders to see if any of them resonate with
you.

At any rate, bboy13, wishing you the best of luck exploring your mental
health.

~~~
bboy13
Hi cjhveal,

This is like liquid gold to me. Thank you so much for sharing. It's been a
long journey, and I'm of the typical self-studied knowledge base -- fractured,
and an inch wide and a mile deep in spurious, seemingly unpredictable places
that a "real" practitioner wouldn't waste time on.

There is a strange sense of depersonalization that doesn't fit
traditional/vanilla DP/DR, and I'll absolutely have to take a look at the
Schizoid PD and the surrounding literature. Any good sources to study to
understand? Anything from articles to textbooks works for me.

Clusters B and C have been of more attention recently, as I have some overlap
there, but as with everything, it seems like PDs aren't entirely discrete.

Now, you seem to be extremely well-studied on some of the intricacies of some
of the PDs. Combinatorially, it could certainly be a very strong part of
things. I find myself very social, generally, with interest in people and a
variety of activities, but of course at times frozen in a fear response/very
reclusive -- moreso than emotions might typically suggest. No traditional
"hallucinatory" symptoms, though we both probably have experienced the vast
gap between public perception and XYZ in some small areas or another.

Really appreciate you putting together a thoughtful response so much. I don't
know whether you're a clinician, or what might have brought you into the PD
neighborhood, but having another option to weigh and understand is vastly
appreciated, and I was entirely unaware of the Schizoid PD before today -- I'd
just thought it was a descriptor (and an odd one at that), so the expanding
arena is much appreciated. If you have anything you're interested in that that
you're willing to pass along, I sure would be.

Many thanks again,

B

~~~
cjhveal
I should have included in my previous post that I'm not a mental health
professional. I'm also just an interested individual looking to make the most
of the hand I've been dealt, and I too have very large blindspots. I don't
mean to provide you specific advice for your situation but simply offer
something else to explore.

To be perfectly honest, my own fascination with personality disorders has
formed as a result of rumination, spending energy obsessing over perceived
symptoms and the their implications to the detriment of taking action toward
solving the problems. I think this is one of the dangers of trying to go about
making sense of your mental wellbeing alone.

If you're not already working with a mental health professional, and it is at
all possible, I would very strongly recommend finding a therapist with a PsyD
licensed in your jurisdiction. When you find a good one, they will have the
depth to talk with you at a high level and the breadth and experience to help
you consider possibilities you wouldn't have known about on your own. I
understand if that's out of reach for you given your circumstances, but it can
be a huge help.

Ultimately you are right, personality disorders are not discrete, nor are they
mutually exclusive categories. They're really just patterns of traits as
observed by folks who spend their time studying this kind of thing, and none
of them seem have as simple a pathology as something like Wilson's disease
where a vast array of symptoms can all be caused simply by an inability to
excrete enough copper.

That aside, specifically to your request for more information, I can offer the
following:

I was recently introduced to the relation between identity disturbance and the
schizophrenia spectrum via this paper[0]. I realized that I had a very narrow
view of schizophrenia and started to learn about the concept of schizotypy,
the difference between negative/positive schizophrenia symptoms, and how
dissociation + depression can start to look a lot like it fits on the
schizophrenia spectrum. Here's another paper[1] that goes a bit more into the
ways that the two spectrums overlap and contrast. Finally, sometimes the
personality disorder subreddits can be useful for both finding a community and
exploring what folks are saying about their own diagnoses and experience
there.

[0]:
[https://academic.oup.com/schizophreniabulletin/article/45/1/...](https://academic.oup.com/schizophreniabulletin/article/45/1/106/4823553)
[1]:
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5216848/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5216848/)

Feel free to reach out via the email on my website (in HN bio), if you have
any other questions.

