
Ask HN: How does one find a mentor? - tabeth
So I read the Passionate Programmer [1] and one thing it mentions that I really want to do is find a mentor or several mentors. Ideally one who&#x27;s 5-10 years more more experienced and one at the top of their gain, with like 10 - 20 years experience.<p>The problem I have is that I find it very difficult to find these kinds of people. I go to meetups but it always seems awkward to ask someone to be your mentor or meet with someone at a semi-regular interval. I&#x27;d be curious to see what tips all of you have.<p>P.S. I&#x27;m in the Boston, MA area if any experienced programmers are willing to meet and discuss their experiences.<p>[1] http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.amazon.com&#x2F;Passionate-Programmer-Remarkable-Development-Pragmatic&#x2F;dp&#x2F;1934356344&#x2F;ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1451951511&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=passionate+programmer
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bphogan
The part you're missing is what you bring to the table? Why would an
experienced programmer choose to spend their time helping you? It's obvious
what's in it for you, but what about the other side?

I've mentored a lot of people. And I'll be honest - most people I've mentored
eventually stop contributing to the relationship once they get what they want
out of things, be it a new job, opportunity, etc.

So now I coach, and I charge money for it.

So ask yourself, why would someone want to invest their time, which is their
most valuable commodity, in helping you reach your goals?

If you network, and find the right person, you may discover exactly what that
is.

But if you're just looking for someone to give you guidance and advice,
consider paying a coach. :)

However, if you want to get over the awkward factor, try "Hey, I have always
wanted to know more about [something they know about.]. Could I pick your
brain over a beer/coffee?"

It's kinda like dating. Worst thing that can happen is they say no. And the
answer is always no unless you ask.

~~~
meric
I have a friend who's hired a Russian programmer as a mentor on upwork.com.

I have in the past mentored someone learning programming, but he was and still
is my best friend since high school, and now he works as a programmer.

It mostly consisted of insisting he do his assignments by himself and refusing
to share what I've got.

------
JSeymourATL
True mentorships are organic things, not unlike friendships. Still you can try
to strategically engineer the relationship.

Target someone likely to be in a good position to give solid, and thoughtful
advice, say a C-Level, SVP, or Director type. Be very specific with your Ask.
'Any thoughts, how would you handle an X problem?'

Make a point to circle-back with that individual periodically with an update,
especially if you took their advice. It opens the door to seek more guidance.
Most people blow this one off-- it's vital to growing your relationship. Pro-
tip: sometimes the hardest people to get to know, have the most interesting
things to say.

Reciprocate-- offer 'is there anything I can do to assist you?' You might be
surprised, the Old Guys value your insights and perspective, especially when
it comes to new technology.

