
Ask HN: What do you do when you feel trapped in life? - trapped_
Hello HN,<p>I’ve lately been feeling like I’m trapped in some cycle where every day is the the exact same, and I’m wasting my life. And recently rejections have been piling up and I’m losing all self-confidence and motivation.<p>I’ve been working at my first software developer job out of college for the past 2.5 years, and learned a lot of good skills initially. But I have been pretty stagnant for the past year, haven’t been learning as much, haven’t been promoted, and don’t see a career growth path here. I also feel the job is not helping my situation because I don’t really get along with or feel respected or valued by most of my coworkers, and I just feel lonely at work.<p>The problem is I’ve been trying to interview but failing. I have diagnosed anxiety disorders that already make interviews hard, but also feel discouraged from my current situation and pressure from myself to try to get a new job ASAP.<p>I have been applying for the past 6+ months and got plenty of interviews with no offers. But recently I just got a rejection email from my top choice company in the location I desire most. It was a long process I put tons of effort into, and probably my best interview experience ever. But I psyched myself out too much trying to prepare and during the final interview I was a total mess and blew it. Other recent interviews have had similar endings. Now I have no more scheduled interviews and no confidence left.<p>What does one do in this situation? It’s feels like a mix of depression, burnout, and worthlessness with no way out.
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cerberusss
Are you currently seeing a therapist? If not, perhaps it's time to revisit
your old one.

In the past, I've dealt with moodswings. Just when I thought I had them under
control, they crept up on me and I didn't notice. My then-girlfriend asked me
to look up my old therapist and it greatly helped dealing with stuff.

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itamarst
Beyond other advice (e.g. therapist).

1\. It's worth keeping in mind that different companies have different kinds
of interviews. You might do worse at some but better at others. So one thing
you can do is try different kinds.

2\. There are places you can _practice_ interviewing, which means you can see
how you're doing and learn without the pressure of actually trying to get a
job. [https://interviewing.io](https://interviewing.io) and
[https://pramp.com](https://pramp.com). You might get occasional jerk
interviewer, but if you treat it as exercise it should be less stressful.

~~~
itamarst
4\. If you're an underrepresented minority you might be suffering from some
form of (potentially unconscious) bias.

Even if not, none of this is a judgement on you as a person or you as a
programmer, it's just that the way many companies interview people are almost
biased against people who get nervous. E.g. I've known people with PhDs in
computer science from top university who had this problem, and consider
[https://twitter.com/danluu/status/1058029337923014656](https://twitter.com/danluu/status/1058029337923014656)

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smarri
Keep on trying friend! You'll see the fruit of your labour soon enough. Take a
break/holiday if you can too, and get as much time as possible in the places
where your energy from e.g. family, friends, hobbies and so on. You'll look
back on this time one day and see how far you've come. Good luck!

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SuccubusLt
This is very similar to my situation. What type of therapist one recommends?

