
I Almost Let My Failed Startup Destroy Me - ruidelgado
https://medium.com/@rui/i-almost-let-my-startup-failure-destroy-me-d6a65820728
======
dspillett
This isn't just for startups. People end up burning themselves out as
contractors or even in salaried positions in well established companies, in
much the same ways. You think it will work out in the end, but usually it
really really doesn't.

"Eyes on the prize" is actually the right attitude, but the prizes should be
your sanity, health, and friends & family. Unless you are doing something
truly earth shattering like you are close to curing cancer, the world is not
going to remember your sacrifice for the cause. I'm close to leaving my nicely
paid job in full knowledge that I'll take a hefty pay cut doing so, but the
money isn't worth the effect the current environment is having on me, I'm
almost done waiting for promised changes to happen, and other changes that are
happening may even make things worse (in at least the short term). I am more
important than my work. You are more important than your work. If you can
manage both then carry on, and it is fine to burn a bit short term to deal
with unexpected crisis, but if you find yourself having to chose between the
two over the medium/long term then don't chose the work.

~~~
ruidelgado
well said, my friend. I didn't have a good balance, and I honestly think it
affected my work as well.

I wish you the best of luck leaving your job and chasing something it'll make
you happier. Thanks for your input!

------
thenomad
There's one takeaway - no pun intended - that leaps out from this.

Learn. To. Cook.

I run a small, scrappy company that's been in startup mode multiple times over
the last 20 years. Being a good cook might well be the most valuable skill
I've used over those years.

It lets you drop to very low personal expenditure very easily - far lower than
you could manage on all but the junkiest of ready food - whilst still eating
well and keeping your health up.

Thinking about it, would a "How To Cook For Hackers" video / ebook / webseries
be of use or interest to HN? With the right instrumentation, absolutely anyone
can learn to cook nutritious, tasty, cheap meals.

~~~
mseebach
> Thinking about it, would a "How To Cook For Hackers" video / ebook /
> webseries be of use or interest to HN?

What's the hacker angle on cooking? In my experience, cooking is much more of
a craft than an intellectual exercise, which doesn't make it very 'hackable'.

Personally, I'd recommend start with something like these [1][2] - good, fast,
cheap, nutritious food has been focus for many others than hackers, for quite
a while.

1:
[http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/category/books/jamie-s-15...](http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/category/books/jamie-s-15-minute-
meals/) 2:
[http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/columns/dinner_tonight/](http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/columns/dinner_tonight/)

~~~
ncarroll
I always thought the hackable angle on cooking is patterns. A whole lot of
stuff that you might cook for everyday eating is, in fact, a pattern and once
you know that, you can riff off whatever is in your fridge.

Take soup, for instance. You need a certain amount of liquid, veggies and meat
are optional in their type and amounts and you need to apply the correct
methods and tools.

I've had a domain and plans to write about this for years but never gotten
around to it. Maybe 2015 is the year - even casual interest around here would
hitch it up on my priority list.

~~~
TarpitCarnivore
> I always thought the hackable angle on cooking is patterns. A whole lot of
> stuff that you might cook for everyday eating is, in fact, a pattern and
> once you know that, you can riff off whatever is in your fridge.

This isn't "hacking" (loathe this word when used this way) cooking, you've
just learned the basic ratios of recipes.

~~~
VLM
Ah but the hacking is the "messing with ratios" part, not just knowing them.

I slow cooked homemade bbq chicken with a dry rub last weekend. You can play
games for your whole life with the ratio of paprika to cayenne. A lot of
people are really happy with 1:1:1 ratios of onion garlic chilli but I prefer
weaker heat and stronger onion and garlic flavor. Another ratio is brown sugar
to salt, I prefer no/low sugar and higher salt, but tastes do vary. I suppose
"no sugar" is such extreme hacking, that some might not consider my bbq
chicken to be bbq chicken anymore. Oh well.

Another analogy is its like modding a game. (and edited to add, its like
design patterns)

~~~
TarpitCarnivore
Maybe it's just because I cook often, but to me this is the foundations of
cooking. You're always changing and tweaking what you're making to suit your
needs. What a more smokey taste in the chili add some chipotle and smoked
paprika. Want to make that rub sweeter add some more brown sugar.

------
mindcrime
Yeah, this hits a little close to home. My own (mis)adventure is pretty well
documented[1], so I won't bore anybody with details, except to say: I'm living
proof, and very nearly dead proof, of important parts of what Rui says. It's
so easy to let your health go by the wayside, pushing yourself harder and
harder, and thinking "I'll lose the weight next month" and then "next month"
is "in six months" and then it's "next year" and so on.

I very literally almost died, and while there are a lot of factors in having a
heart-attack (weight,genetics,stress,nutrition,etc., etc.), there is no
question in my mind that three of the big contributing factors for me where A.
stress, B. nutrition and C. weight. And sadly all three of those things are
things I could / can control, unlike genetics.

Seriously folks, if you're out of shape, if you don't exercise, or if you are
the living embodiment of that old joke about "the four food groups for
programmers" (salt, sugar, fat and caffeine), please, please stop, wake up,
and start taking nutrition seriously.

And don't think "I'm young, I'm only in my 20's, I have nothing to worry
about". That's bullshit. You'll be 40 eventually (if you are lucky enough to
live that long) and what you're doing with that mindset is letting "20 year
old you" fuck over "40 year old you". It takes decades for the bad nutrition,
lack of exercise, too much sugar, smoking, etc. to do their damage, so even if
you don't see any outward signs now, the damage is being done, and the piper
will need to be paid eventually.

[1]:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8550315](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8550315)

~~~
fatass
> It takes decades for the bad nutrition, lack of exercise, too much sugar,
> smoking, etc. to do their damage.

Well what if those decades were your childhood? I've been fat since the day I
was born, because I was a child of a lazy welfare queen who thought food
equals bag of potato chips a day. I dropped out of high school and went on to
sick leave because of severe sleep apnea. (Slept 0-4 hours a night, I had so
much fat on my body that it blocked my breathing in certain positions and the
weight on my lungs caused them not to work properly.)

My future was already ruined because of malnutrition and the only thing I have
left is sitting at home on my computer. I've already disowned my mother, but
it won't bring my health back. Just the thought that I have to work on my body
the rest of my life and it still won't be presentable just makes me want to
kill myself.

~~~
dspillett
_> Well what if those decades were your childhood?_

Then you are starting with a _massive_ disadvantage, there is no way to sugar
coat it.

But unless you are properly knocking on death's door it is never too late to
start improving things. It can be surprising how quickly you can make small
change with a little determination, and how quickly small changes add up, and
how much each small change can motivate the effort for the next, especially if
you can avoid being completely derailed by the occasional set-backs (that
_will_ happen).

If your condition is as bad as it sounds then consult a trained medical person
if you can rather than relying on tips from the Internet - they may be able to
provide you with a plan specific to your needs that will jump start your
progress _safely_ (on the Internet you'll find many ways to jump start
progress that may be unsafe either generally or specifically for someone in
your current condition).

------
iqonik
I am addicted to Coca-Cola and need the caffeine to stop the headaches, my
diet consists of quick easy takeout so I have enough time to work in the
evenings and spend time with my 3 month old daughter. I am currently working
on a side project that I hope will prove itself worthy of "giving it a shot".
Now I'm thinking I need to get my health right before I even consider
that...for want of a better saying, it's definitely food for thought.

~~~
pm
Get your health right first. Your side project will always be there, the time
you spend with your daughter will not.

~~~
iqonik
Unfortunately being first to market is key (I think). But yes, you're right,
she is already changing so much everyday :-)! Either way, I need to find a
better balance, is 3 months too young to teach her to code?!

~~~
mseebach
> Unfortunately being first to market is key (I think)

No knowing the first thing about your product or market, I'll still go out on
a limb and propose that you're most likely wrong. If I had a nickel for every
time I thought something was absolutely key, and it turned out to be a wrong
assumption - well, I could probably buy a Starbucks latte.

Hey, by all means, work hard, push forward and do awesome stuff and win, I'm
all for that - but don't lie to yourself, especially not if it's impacting
your health and your family.

~~~
iqonik
The market is recruitment (in house and agencies) - and knowing the types of
products they still use because it "works for them" and how hard it is to get
them to change workflows etc; I believe early adoption will be key. Only time
will tell I guess, I'll be sure to do a "Show HN" when I am done!

~~~
mseebach
Ok, so I'm confident in declaring your assumption false. This isn't a green-
field market where the first credible entrant has a reasonable chance of
capturing a large part in one go, it's a mature, slow and conservative market.
They are extremely unlikely to read about a new shiny thing on a blog, decide
that afternoon to start using it, and in that decision cut out the superior
product that launches two months later.

Sure, by the time they've decided to use a new thing, they are unlikely to
change again soon, and if, at the time some team is evaluating a new system
yours isn't on the market, you wont be considered.

So take a deep breath, stop sweating "first to market" startup tropes, build a
good product and start thinking about how you're going to sell into this
market instead that's probably a much bigger challenge than building the
product in the first place.

~~~
mtrimpe
Having sold a product to the recruitment market for a while I can
wholeheartedly confirm this.

There's no first mover advantage here; there's only a "most able to convince
people to switch from 90's tech to 00's tech"-advantage.

FWIW We sold video interviewing software and decided to abandon recruitment
because the market had low requirements for software quality / innovativeness
and high requirements for stability and track records; which was the polar
opposite of what we offered.

Additionally; ATS integration was paramount for all large players. ATS
providers knew that and charged for it at levels only heavily funded companies
could afford.

------
patatino
Two thoughts about exercise which keep me motivated:

\- exercise is therapy for my body and mind => clears your head after work,
better sleep, helps with anxiety/panic attacks. That's the reason why I simply
HAVE to exercise, it's almost free therapy for me.

\- exercise is a good willpower training => more willpower in everything in
your life

------
kazuki49
greed and gluttony, the path to hell.

------
tmmm
Why live in Spain, not USA?

~~~
ruidelgado
Because I don't have a visa for the US. I'm considering going through the
process and moving there though.

------
rab_oof
Notes from the trenches:

There's a million and N ways to die, both as a company and an individual, if
you let them. Basically, expect failure as a default state, don't (or try not
to) take it personally. Don't give up on something that people want (and will
pay money for)... you may hit 2 to 5 patches where it's "this sucks, I wanna
die" times. Get over it (you can if you really want it bad enough), move
ahead. (If not, take a break and recover... Working crazy hours/conditions if
it kills you doesn't help anyone.) Even if you have to live in a car or tent,
put in the effort to make the best shot possible. It's basically impossible to
die of starvation in Amerika at least... More caffeine, exercise and less
"ambient eating"... Self-restraint is paramount. Get back in the saddle, get
up off the ground, another biz model awaits expermentation... Maybe have some
survivor bias eventually, if not start a practical business. It'll all work
out, on way or another. Have a good time along the way. :) No one has a
perfect formula or perfect advice, just do the best possible and hire people
that do whatever it is much better.

(Picking cofounders carefully as one would their SO, because it's effectively
marriage.)

~~~
mtrimpe
Playing the game from a weak base and trying to win through tricks (sleeping
in a car, caffeine, etc., etc.) is not a good approach. It's like switching
from the poker game to the slot-machines so you can try to hit the jackpot
with those last nickels.

Having a strong base to build on is much more powerful. Have good health. Good
relationships. Good savings. Good income potential. Use that base to build
your company on; when the base breaks down rebuild it first and only then
resume work on your company.

It's much more powerful in the long term; and especially so after 30 when your
body can no longer handle everything that's thrown it at.

