
For God's sake, follow your dreams - whitegloveapps
http://blog.rootein.com/2010/04/for-gods-sake-follow-your-dreams.html
======
edw519
_So why is it that as we grow up we lose all the passion, the energy, the will
and the strength to keep our dreams alive._

Because we lose so much energy in general.

Because we don't take care of ourselves.

OP cites Tony Robbins. Anyone who has ever been to any Tony Robbins event
knows that he always starts with health (eating right, exercising, and mental
attitude) before addressing anything else. Because he already knows what many
don't: if you're not feeling right, nothing else matters.

Almost all of us have ample energy in our teens and twenties. But as we get
older, we have to make a conscious effort to maintain energy and vitality.
Most people I know in their 30s, 40s, and 50s don't do nearly enough. We slow
down, put on weight, and lose energy. It happens so gradually that we barely
notice. And we blame everything else: family, finances, lifestyle, etc. And we
avoid acknowledging the elephant in the room: it's awfully hard to get
passionate about anything when we only have enough energy to plop down in
front of the TV with a bag of chips.

Most people I know with the energy to accomplish a lot, regardless of age,
take care of themselves, especially those working 2 jobs or running a side
business.

All of the other reasons (fear of failure, responsibilities, etc.) make sense,
but I wonder how many people don't follow their dreams simply because they've
run out of energy by not taking good enough care of themselves.

~~~
zasz
I'd like to add that it's also never too late to start taking better care of
yourself and reaping the benefits thereof. I know a man who decided to become
a vegetarian and start riding his bike more frequently at the age of 40. He's
80 now, and just biked across the country last year.

~~~
gcheong
I'm reminded of this story from a webpage on San Francisco running
"superstars". While I think genetics is a significant factor in determining
your base energy level and how far you go, I think most of us have a lot more
potential to regain lost energy than we realize:

"Sister Marion Irvine did not start running until age 47. She was overweight
and smoked two packs a day. Looking for a way to relax after a day as a grade
school principal in San Rafael, Sister Marion took up running. ''I needed to
use up some pent-up energy, so I decided to give it a go,'' said the 54-year-
old Roman Catholic nun, who was soon going 70 miles a week. She started out
half-running and half-walking.

In 1984, she qualified for the US Olympic Trials in the marathon by running
2:51 at the age of 54, becoming the oldest to ever qualify for the OTs."

------
niels_olson
I resigned from a reasonably safe, reliable career and went to med school,
married, with two kids(1). I'm glad I made the move, but it was definitely
scary. With marriage, you're still pretty risk-tolerant. Kids . . . not so
much.

Once I was there I realized it was going to be even harder than I anticipated,
no thanks to evacuating three weeks after starting to avoid Katrina, but also,
just managing the added responsibilities of a house, diapers, daycare, regular
meals . . . it adds up. 2-3 hours a day, usually prime study hours.

And I agree with barrkel. You _are_ taking time away from your kids. And your
spouse. Which will increase your spouse's stress. It's not a pretty picture. I
still think it has been worth it, but I'm 34 and my hair is turning grey.

\--------------

(1)I was also going from being an officer in the Navy to med school in New
Orleans and asked what would happen if the big one comes, to which the dean
replied, in the spring of 2005 "We have very good pumping systems". . .

------
SMrF
Talking about starting a business or doing something equally 'crazy' is a
popular conversational topic at lunch with my coworkers. It provides just
about the same amount of escapism value as buying into a lotto pool. We do
that too.

I noticed that when I actually started working on my business on the side,
this topic of conversation started coming up less often. I think seeing
someone actually work hard to change his reality sort of ruined the dream.
"It's fun to talk about it, but you mean I actually have to do extra work??"

------
drblast
Two sides to this coin.

This is easy to say when you're 23, single, and you are almost completely
defined by your occupation. Asking a child what he wants to be when he grows
up doesn't give you good information; ask him what he wants to eat and he'll
say "candy, all the time."

Maybe it's because I just watched Cosmos, but your life is a blip on the
cosmic time scale. Make it count, but remember that very few people will
remember or care what you did to make money.

That's not to say that you should toil in a job you hate, but there's nothing
wrong with not doing your dream job because your committment to your family is
more important.

------
briancooley
Speaking from my own experience, I'd say that my biggest hurdle to following
my dreams is a false dichotomy created somewhere in my imagination. For some
reason, I always imagine 1) no income, 2) no reduction in expenses, and 3) not
being able to get a job should I go belly up.

I started working part-time about 5 weeks ago, and it's become obvious that I
was fooling myself for the sake of maintaining the status quo. Now that I see
that it's relatively easy to find income outside of my day job and that my
family can cut expenses if we are more deliberate about how we spend, I wonder
why I have always imagined the worst.

The biggest factor is stuff. It's true that what you buy enslaves you. Houses
to a mortgage, cars to a loan and expensive insurance, retail items to credit
card debt. The more you can eliminate or reduce those expenses, the less of an
excuse you'll have to keep working in a situation that isn't fulfilling.

~~~
exit
i'm glad you've found success. can you say exactly what your dream was though?
your own business?

~~~
briancooley
I'm not saying that I have reached my dream, because I haven't. I am slowly
working towards what would best be called a lifestyle business.

I didn't make the first step for a long time because of some faulty
assumptions.

------
prs
If the urge to pursue one's dreams is strong enough, a person will find ways
to take action towards them. In many cases an inner cocktail of fear, laziness
and other areas of higher personal importance will prevent a person from
taking the crucial first steps. Overcoming those factors is what separates the
doers from those who daydream themselves into a rosy future. I am not to judge
other persons as I have found myself guilty of it on countless occasions but I
have an interesting story to share with you:

A few years ago, a friend of mine mentioned that he would really like to
become an entrepreneur. I got all ears and starting listening more closely.
During the chat he also mentioned his desire to invent something new. My eyes
lightened up and I tried to extract a few more nuggets of information out of
him. You never know - maybe I accidentally bumped into the perfect co-founder
for a future venture? As our discussion progressed, I tried to evaluate in
what entrepreneurial stage he currently resided.

    
    
      Me: "What actions have you taken so far?"
      Him: "I am thinking of business ideas all the time."
      Me: "No, no! I mean: What have you specifically done so far?"
      Him: "Reading the news and trying to come up with a business idea."
    

Recently I met up with this guy again and asked him about progress. He is
still in the thinking stage which disappointed me. But that is the path he
chose and I accept it. Thinking only takes you so far. Doing is what
ultimately pushes things forward. Sometimes people do not want something bad
enough that they push harder and leave the stage of randomly coming across the
next big thing. This is perfectly fine and one has to accept it.

~~~
brc
I have this experience all the time. People know I am self-employed, and 'do
something with computers'. I have to sit through half baked ideas at dinner
tables, 'I'd like to have a website that did x', or 'do you think I could do
somethign with a website?'. Sometimes I give very specific advice, right down
to suggesting which platforms to use and what sort of domain name to get.
There was the personal trainer who needed to find more clients, the person
with mild success on ebay who wanted to build it into an online store, the
educator who wanted to use the net to build inter-school learning materials.
They all listen and get excited, nobody ever does anything. My wife tells me I
am too hard on them. If I can douse their dreams with a few throwaway
comments, then they aren't burning very bright to start with. I think a lot of
people engage in dreaming as a way of escapism, not as an actual life plan.

Me? I just dream is was 2008 again, and sales were 30% higher.

------
todayiamme
Stuff like this is the reason why I read HN. Not too long ago a HN thread I
posted changed my life and the way I think, hopefully, permanently. It's not
just the advice, some of it is obvious or trimmed versions of common
knowledge, but the people who give it.

Most people who talk about chasing after dreams are the ones who want nothing
more than to run in the rat races that surround them. The same goes for other
topics. Most people who talk about virtues of hardwork and other stuff are the
same people who have never done so themselves.

I've learnt more about life from such people in a matter of months than my
immediate environment in the past 18 years.

In the past few months I've become certain that I will work on my startup no
matter what. So what if I am a teenager with a startup (the horror)? So what
if I fail? So what if my nightmares of not having a future come true? So what
if I don't have money or a permanent work station? So what if no one takes my
ideas seriously? So what if I still have truckloads to learn?

I am going to still do it and enjoy every second of it.

------
barrkel
Very few people are remembered for what they did for a living, but most people
remember those who loved them for the rest of their lives. When you have the
responsibility to look after children in particular, it's just a smidgen
selfish to sacrifice some of your potential to invest in their futures for the
sake of following your own dreams. This is why it's better to take these kinds
of risks when you're young.

~~~
ekidd
My son is a year and a half old. Five months ago, I began working full-time
for a startup.

Before joining the startup, I sat down with my wife and we decided on
milestones, a budget, and a schedule for spending time with my son. I know how
long I can afford to wait for ramen profitability, and how much money I need
to earn in the first two years. And if it doesn't work out, my cofounders know
when I would have to walk.

I won't pretend it's always easy. But I see my son more than most lawyers,
doctors or consultants see their children. Since I'm not currently commuting,
I spend more time with him than typical parents who attend night school after
working full time.

Don't forget: A monthly paycheck can evaporate with little warning, and
unemployment rates for 50-year-old programmers have often been brutal. If
you're a programmer, and you choose the safe course every month, you don't
guarantee safety for your family in 10 or 20 years time.

So live below your means, save aggressively, and take the occasional risk.
Start a business. Go to night school. Take a 3 month sabbatical and study
something intensely.

~~~
lionhearted
> Since I'm not currently commuting, I spend more time with him than typical
> parents who attend night school after working full time.

This. Commuting is soul killing, frustrating, expensive, emotionally taxing
dead time. A few people enjoy driving quite a bit - for them, it's relaxation.
But for the majority of people it's awful.

I loved Los Angeles when I visited there for business 3-4 times, so I moved
there. I didn't realize how driving as a novelty turns into terribleness. Just
getting groceries took 20 minutes of round trip driving - that's 20 minutes
that ain't coming back. And I'm paying gas, insurance, registration, and
maintenance for the pleasure of having my time stolen from me.

Never again. Walking cities or living immediately by my work in a mini-city-
center for the rest of my life. I don't mind commuting on a train or ferry
because I can read books, but commuter driving is a huge waste of time and
life.

~~~
cnunciato
Amen to that. I did the LA commute (~3hrs/day) myself for several years before
quitting. Never again. Now I live in Seattle and ride a scooter to work -- 10
minutes from door to door.

------
jakevoytko
Taking steps towards your dream can also help you realize that you want
something different. I wanted to be an AI researcher throughout school. I also
loved programming though, so I took a job as a systems programmer at a
computer vision research lab with the intent of applying for Grad school
later. It was perfect - I could cherry-pick good recommendations from people
who went to top schools, and I would live happily ever after.

But now I'm glad I took this route, because working with researchers, I would
clearly get more satisfaction in an engineering-style role than a researcher
role. As a result, I have a new dream, and one that I work towards every day
after work

------
erikstarck
And speaking of where the money should come from, when that guy chose the more
expensive car instead of following his dream, was it worth it?

When he bought a bigger house instead of following his dream, was it worth it?

Each time he bought a friggin' super size instead of regular on McDonalds for
an extra $2 instead of following his dream was it worth it?

I guess it was and that his dream wasn't that valuable to him after all.

~~~
jodrellblank
Dreams have value _as dreams_ , otherwise it's no longer escapism, it's
_work_.

------
milesf
Years ago I heard a study where people over the age of 95 were ask a simple
question.

    
    
      "If you had life to live over again, what would you do differently?"
    

There were 3 answers that dominated all other responses:

    
    
      - Risk More
    
      - Reflect More
    
      - Do more things that would live on after you were dead
    

If you can't learn from old folks who've already spent their lives, you can't
learn from anyone at all.

------
mmelin
"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates and a monthly
salary." - Nassim Nicholas Taleb

I only have to get off one more of these :-)

------
pcestrada
The author of the article doesn't have a family.

~~~
abstractbill
If it helps, I know plenty of people who _do_ have families and who have the
exact same attitude as the author.

------
erikstarck
I always wonder how many hours per day people who say they don't have time
watch TV.

~~~
hugh3
As someone wisely said somewhere (it may have been here), time is not
fungible. I find you only have so many hours of productive work in you per
day, and you probably wouldn't have spent that TV-watching time doing
something brilliant anyway.

~~~
dpritchett
Plus TV watching can be a social activity. I can watch an hour or two of TV
with my wife but she's not going to sit down and program with me.

------
pillsy
I wonder how much the person the author was talking to was really dreaming
about being an animator, and how much he was actually dreaming about not
having the responsibilities that were "preventing" him from being an animator.

------
_debug_
"Are their dreams not worth it? If not, why do we sulk about them later?"

Yes, their dreams are not worth it _by their own account, and in their own
words ("Are you crazy? Where will the paycheck come from?") and most
importantly, as evidenced by their own actions_. No, they won't sulk about it.
Really. Not everyone has the passion it takes to change the world, take risks,
or whatever it is that makes people like Jobs and Wozniak do what they did.
There are a LOT of people who never let their eye off the ball called the next
paycheck. Luckily for the rest of us, these people are called "customers". :-)

------
shadchnev
This is a classic 'follow your dream' that attracts classic 'man, face the
reality' comments. However, there is no need to oppose one and the other.

I work for a company that was founded 6 years ago and grew to 130 people and
55 million pounds (85 million dollars) in yearly revenues by now. The company
never took investment, was started without significant savings by one founder
and is still expanding rapidly. We build innovative products, regularly
receive awards and make acquisitions. Our profit margins are great. We're more
successful than most other companies.

Yet, this company wasn't started as a usual startup. The business started by
driving traffic to online shops using google ads. Doing this is actually hard
work and it's very unsexy, techcrunch won't write about it and your friends
won't say wow. But the company grew from one person to a small team, then to a
larger team, the rest is history. Now that we're very profitable we can afford
to innovate. Many projects that we started flopped but some survived and are
either profitable or growing quickly. I have little doubt that the future of
this company is very bright.

Starting a startup is like playing a lottery. Not only you have to invest some
of your time and money into it, you also have to be lucky. Actually, you have
to be very lucky. The line between success and failure when you have no cash
reserves is extremely thin. You are free to take the risk but you should
accept that most probably you'll fail.

A better way to innovate is to earn some money before you actually innovate.
Our company did it by working in affiliate business, your way may be
different. Our company didn't innovate when we could not afford to lose.
However, once we could afford it, we opened a sizeable division responsible
for innovations and it's paying off. As I've said, most projects fail but
fortunately we can afford it. We learn and move on.

There's a difference between doing something and achieving a result. If you
want to be a part of a startup, start one, it's free and easy, I've done it a
couple of times. If you want to build a business and make money, find a way to
pay for your mistakes and bad luck when it happens.

Go out and figure out how to make some money, not millions but a little bit in
the least risky way. Affiliate traffic like our founder did? Maybe buying and
selling stuff on ebay? Maybe something else. Just build an unsexy old-
fashioned business that will generate money and then you'll be in a position
to innovate, follow your dreams and all that stuff.

This worked for our founder and I'm pretty sure it's a much shorter path to
success than learning to code at night or building the next twitter on
weekends. If you want the result, ruthlessly minimize the risk even if it
means building a less sexy business first. I guess this won't be a very
popular advice though.

~~~
il
Can you share what company you're working for or any more details about the
business?

The reason I'm asking is that I am the single founder(and sole employee) of an
affiliate marketing/internet marketing business that's somewhat
successful($XXX,XXX revenues) and I'm wondering what it takes to take the
company to the next level and expand like your company did. I know a lot of
affiliates in the same position- living comfortably from their affiliate
earnings but no way to achieve a rapid "hockey stick" growth curve. Of course,
most are playing it safe and not innovating. Shoot me an email to
ilya[at]unviral.com, I would love to talk about this more.

------
helmutgranda
Spend more time on your dream than reading Hacker news :)

~~~
phob
:(

------
dreaming
For God's sake, follow your dreams... before you start a family

------
orblivion
I feel the same way, and I'm getting close to making such a move. But overall,
there's a negative feedback loop keeping people from following their dreams.
If enough people do, wages in other areas will rise, making them more
attractive. We can't all be astronauts, somebody's got to unclog the toilet in
the space station.

Then again, we could all be a little happier if our dream was something other
than what made us money.

------
Tawheed
You can have anything you want, just not everything.

------
jodrellblank
I don't like the dismissive 'fear of failure' and I don't like the default
answer of 'what if you have a family' and this post has little else.

And failure isn't scary, being old and unaccomplished is? Come on, that
deserves some more introspection than that! You're still driven by fear if
that's the case.

Much more interesting is what are the real motivations if you don't accept
fear of failure is the reason. Or if you do, then what to do about it. Or if
you ask what is there about failure to be afraid _of_ (and you aren't allowed
to say 'nothing really' because that dismisses the fact that you are afraid of
it).

Motivation and fears are way more interesting than this gives them credit for.

------
Jach
%s/follow your dreams/stay upwind/g and I'll agree. Take more risks, make
learning time a priority, etc., just please let's stop using that phrase.

<http://paulgraham.com/hs.html>

Anyway, as for the guy in the story, if the guy's been "always wanting to get
into animation and design" for 10 years, I have to wonder if that's just a
conversation piece rather than a real desire. Though then again it could be he
really is just ignorant on how to proceed, sort of like "I want to be rich"
but not knowing a workable/desirable/easy-sounding path to it.

------
matrixownsyou
that's what i'm planning to do, i've noticed my employer that i will not
continue working here past August and will try to bootstrap and dedicated
myself to a personal project or two. Good thing i have an eepc, so that in a
couple of months i can beg coins in the street with one hand and code with the
other...

------
rootein
Thank you for all the comments folks. I have posted an update to this post at
[http://blog.rootein.com/2010/07/an-update-to-for-gods-
sake-f...](http://blog.rootein.com/2010/07/an-update-to-for-gods-sake-follow-
your-dreams-post.html) \- Amit

------
whitegloveapps
Great post, Amit! The biggest thing I learned in my first startup was that I
had time to work on a side project. Even if it's just 5 hours a week, find
something to create. Either come up with an idea yourself, or find someone who
needs help with a startup.

------
alexyim
I find the author a little naive for not knowing that most excuses that people
have are just made to protect the ego. :/

And it's unreasonable to expect everyone to be hard-working on something whose
outcome will be largely determined by chance.

------
butu
really a very good piece of advice for me at this stage of my life... though I
am working at my day job.. but already started to chase my dream... scarified
a big pay check in abroad to work and make my dream successful..

I am not going to see back in my life and told that due to this or that reason
I didn't followed my dream.. I will give my 100% and let's see whether I ll
fail or succeed.. It doesn't matter whether I ll fail... I will rise again and
again....

Thanks again!! it made my day :)

------
b9999
Here's an entire website dedicated to this topic of "pushing ideas to reality"
and execution: <http://the99percent.com>

------
d0m
I liked when the author said: "I knew I was about to start an argument with
someone I don't know, so I smile and left."

To be honest, I would usually have argued.. would you?

~~~
zavulon
Nope. I agree with the article... I would've not argued either. Actually, I
don't even try to persuade my closest friends that I've known for 15 years. Up
until a couple of years ago, I loved preaching and talking about life goals,
etc.. but I've realized that people won't listen to reasonable arguments when
it comes to that.

Quitting your job and taking a risk is one of those things that you have to
come to yourself, or not at all.

~~~
d0m
To be clear, I said that I would argue but I'm not saying it's the "right
thing" to do in that situation. I really was more interested in everyone's
opinion on that subject.

------
yason
We want to be sure where the next paycheck comes from instead of trusting
we'll be fine, somehow.

And, damn it, we still can't be sure.

------
GrandMasterBirt
To answer a question in the article:

1) We forget our dreams and risks because if we have children or just people
depending on us to put a roof over their heads and food on the table, we can't
just drop everything.

2) Once you live in luxury, it is hard to drastically cut back a few months
(like spend 1000 a month vs 3000) and then have enough money saved to just
take a risk and hope for the best.

3) Even if YOU can achieve (2), your spouse might not be able to.

4) Loans, assist with this risk averseness, since you don't want to lose your
house/invested money. Honestly this is why I am debt free. When a company I
worked for went under, people were ripping their hair out, I was just smiling
"cool, I got time to look for a better job".

5) In reality, you DO HAVE FREE TIME. I have 1 child (3yo), and a full time
job, and a wife in college, AND I find time to r&r AND work on a startup, AND
spend time with child/wife. If I have enough hours, no excuse for you. I have
co-workers with even more responsibilities than I do AND they manage to find
time for a side company.

In reality people who say "I don't have time" are just not willing to
sacrifice anything for their dreams. Even if you fail you can at least live
your life knowing you tried, if you succeed it feels even better, otherwise
your whole life is spent envious of someone else's success.

~~~
jodrellblank
It's possibly time for me to point to the freely available book Arnold
Bennet's 'How to Live on 24 Hours per Day' as an interesting read.

~~~
gcheong
Also available as a free Kindle book on Amazon. I must say I'm enjoying
reading it as much for the images it conjures up in my mind as for the advice:

"(for nowhere can one more perfectly immerse one's self in one's self than in
a compartment full of silent, withdrawn, smoking males)"

~~~
Tichy
How does the free Kindle thing work? I only find one for 2$ on my Android
Kindle app. I don't think I have ever seen a free Kindle book.

~~~
gcheong
This is the link I used:

[http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000JQU7DA/ref=docs-os-
doi_...](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000JQU7DA/ref=docs-os-doi_0)

------
isnoteasy
the problem with following your dreams is that you can end up with a
nightmare. Learning to be cautious is a good skill for life.

