

Picthing bloggers with this email, got no reply. Advice needed.  - sammville

Pitched bloggers with the email below but no one replied. Am i doing it right? Advice pls<p>Hello, 
   I am Samuel, CEO of Adclays Advertising. Adclays is a system built for publishers to sell ad spaces directly to advertisers with the industry lowest fee of 15% and it gives more control to the publishers. Publishers can choose between CPM or tenancy pricing and have total control of their zone. We are currently in Beta and need users to test our system. We currently have some publishers using the system. Beta users would use the site for free without fees and would get other incentives when we launch.
  You can check out the website and our press kit at:
http://adclays.com/company/press/kit.php
If you have any questions, please mail me. Looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks.
======
user24
This just reeks of sales pitch. I've been blogging for six years. I've got
some adsense on my blog ( <http://www.puremango.co.uk> ) but I don't relate to
that jargon about publishers, ad spaces, industry lowest fees. It's a hobby
not a business. WTF is tenancy pricing? I have a zone?

Use something more like this instead:

Hi Howard,

Really enjoying your blog. I see you're running adsense at the moment. I'd
really appreciate some comments from you on my advertising system. If you're
interested I'll set you up with a free beta account. You don't have to commit
to putting our ads on your blog, I really just want some feedback from quality
bloggers who understand advertising.

Let me know if that sounds like something you'd be interested in.

Thanks, Samuel, founder of Adclays.

~~~
user24
PS: Ok, it's been ten hours. You should have emailed me to invite me to your
beta program. I'm your target market and I've shown interest and a willingness
to provide feedback. Isn't that exactly what you want? Why aren't you chasing
me up?

~~~
sammville
Hello, thanks for the reply and advice. I was really busy today so couldn't
check HN until now. I would definitely send you an email soon.

~~~
user24
no worries :) I've had a busy day too. I should have waited longer before
poking you! I got your email, will reply tomorrow. Thanks!

------
scottkrager
Sigh....I get these all the time, and delete right away.

This is all about you, your company, why you're so great.

What about me? I'm a blogger. Bloggers have egos. Play to my ego, at least try
to give me the sense that you spent at least 5 minutes getting to know
something about me.

Who are the publishers using the system? Why not list them.

Stop talking about yourself, talk about me, write a blog post and link to me,
then maybe you'll have a shot.

Bloggers you don't have any previous relationship with are tough nuts to
crack.

Good luck.

~~~
grovulent
yeah - at the very least try and customize the letter to the particular
person. Otherwise you're just spam.

------
kingsidharth
Wow, that seriously sounds like SPAM!

Be human man, you are writing to a blogger.

Being a blogger, I'd never ever respond not ever read beyond first line.

Make it sounds cool man. And you are not "CEO", are you? You are a "Founder"
If I am not wrong.

Tell me what is in there for "me" rest is bullshit.

~~~
sammville
Thanks for the advice, i tried to keep it short. Do you think writing the
benefits as a sentence or bullet points?

------
ljf
It's not awful, but as user24 says - it's VERY salesy.

Think about what the problem is for a blogger - making some money out of their
hobby, in the easiest possible way, without annoying their readers.

If you are not a blogger yourself, why not interview blogger friends to see
what the issues or problems that they are having either with making money or
with using tools (not getting paid etc.)

And yeah, don't say CEO - and use language your mother and father would
understand - I know some bloggers are technical - but many are not.

Good luck ;) - (and spelling error in your title BTW)

------
danilocampos
You're going to need to relate to the people you're writing to. Bloggers are
individuals, not commodities. Pitch to solve their problems -- if they're
bitching about a problem your product could solve, for example, connect the
dots for them.

Look at it like this: what you've sent is like the junk mail I throw out each
day — it's for everyone, so I know it's not for me. I'd never toss a hand
written, hand addressed letter sent to me, though. Create the same distinction
in your email, make it clearly for whomever is receiving it, and you'll at
least escape the trash a little longer.

------
chegra
It's good. Keep going.

