
Dear Mommy Blogger - joeyespo
http://josidenise.com/dear-mommy-blogger/
======
notacoward
This makes me really tempted to a "Dear Tech Blogger" equivalent. The dynamics
aren't quite the same, but they're close. The real killer is that in both
cases the people buying blogger exposure/goodwill are _experts_ at doing so
without making their assets feel like whores. Most people won't do an obvious
quid pro quo, but they'll forget everything they learned in psych class as
they trade their blog notoriety for special access to invitation-only events,
which they'll write about to increase their blog notoriety, which . . . you
get the idea. Hey look, there's quid and quo standing together. What a
coincidence.

Do you think these people don't know that they'll get more - and more positive
- coverage by bringing you in and giving you personal attention? Do you think
that's not why they sponsor these little mini-junkets? That's their job, and
they're measured by results. They weren't dazzled by your insight or wit. They
saw just enough of those things to make you one jellybean in the bag they're
buying for their employer. That's the extent of your "friendship" and you'll
see that soon enough if you decide their presentation just wasn't inspiring
enough to blog "independently" about.

------
6stringmerc
There are some genuinely valid points sprinkled throughout the article. I'll
admit the intensity of the writing style is a bit of a put off. But - after
getting a bit deeper into the content, I can sense the emotional aspects have
built up for some time. When opening up like this, akin to the _Jerry Maguire_
film portrayal, I feel the author deserves some room to work through these
things.

The more I read through it, the more I could relate from an 'indie musician'
standpoint with all the services, experts, and opportunities to "grow" in the
business. This passage particularly struck a nerve:

> _There is an entire industry waiting to take advantage of your insecurities
> when you want to be a better blogger, and in reality all they are doing is
> shoving tips down your throat about how to make their jobs easier, how to
> put more money in their pockets by building an army of cookie-cutter
> bloggers who will keep paying for conference tickets and ‘exclusive’ insider
> info._

There's so many different avenues to play on musician's insecurities as well -
from "Pay to Play" live show things, to forking over $$$ for a "Premium"
account on something like ReverbNation, paying for listens/follows/whatever to
look more appealing, or participating along with hundreds of others making
remixes for other artists on something like Blend.io where all that work is
being given over for FREE in the distant, remote chance to be the winner and
get exposure or $XXX in a software prize.

In some ways, the article is great at pointing out "If you want to make money,
get a real job!" because that applies to a lot of 'cottage industry' or hobby
type pursuits. That's just being pragmatic. But, as noted, there's a whole
circular industry in the Mommy Blogging realm that is tempting, corrupting,
and at the end of it all, pretty much a sham.

Quite a brave piece of writing for a lot of reasons, and I hope the message
resonates with a lot of people who could use a dose of "marketing gut check"
when it comes to the Mommy market. It's a big industry, sure. Does it need to
be playing dirty with these kinds of tactics? I don't really think so, but in
some circles, that's just how business gets done, you know, that whole
"payola" thing, which I don't think ever really went away - it just evolved
with the times.

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mikestew
What I know of Mommy blogging, or blogging in general as a money-making
enterprise, reminds me of late-night infomercials on making money in real
estate. There's no money in real estate as it's described, but there's sure a
hell of a lot of money in speaker fees, materials, and conferences. Shovels
and picks, as it were.

Specific to the topic in this article, gawd, does it reek of every sham work-
from-home scheme I've ever heard, only "on the internet".

~~~
callmeed
See also the _information product startup_ ecosystem. There are online
classes, conferences, bootcamps, and products whose sole purpose is to make
money by teaching people how to make money by doing the same.

~~~
mikestew
Thanks for passing along the common term. I dropped that into a search box,
clicked a few of the first links and...OMG, I think I need a shower now.

------
exelius
"Professional" photography (especially for children / weddings) can be viewed
in the same light.

I know many professional photographers, and with the exception of one who does
a lot of commercial work (that requires probably $200k in lights, medium/large
format cameras, backdrops, lenses, etc.) the ones who have been able to make a
long term living out of it? They make probably half their income "teaching"
their amateur competition how to do "shoot like the pros!"

They make a killing off of bloggers and amateurs (usually bored housewives
looking to make some money on the side) trying to get started in the biz.
People try to emulate them and their social media prowess, their blogs, etc.
but what they don't realize is that all the blogs and social media presence
are there for is to generate business _from other photographers_ \- they get
their wedding business from established relationships with venues and
coordinators because the customers that come through those channels are
willing to pay 10x what someone who finds you online will.

So they'll charge $400 a head for a day-long class with 7-12 paying customers,
and that's where the real money is. Privately, they'll admit to this: they
know exactly what they're doing. When you're charging $5,000-10,000 to
photograph someone's wedding, there's not as much margin as you would think:
for that price, you probably need 3 or 4 additional shooters just to get
coverage, and that means 10-20 hours of editing photos after the wedding.
Those are all other people you have to pay, wedding albums you have to pay to
get made because it was part of the package, etc. and by the end of it, they
make way more money on an hourly basis off of the classes than they do the
weddings - even at $10k a wedding.

So many industries that were "commoditized" have forced professionals to go
the "seminar" route. I'm curious if software / app development is next...

~~~
collyw
It seems to be the case that you buy a digital SLR camera, and start putting
"<Your Name> Photography" at the bottom of your pics and boom you are a
professional photographer. The good ones even get asked to do some wedding
shots for friends. My facebook feed is full of them. It all gets very tedious.

~~~
exelius
Yeah; a legit professional won't even touch a wedding for less than $5k. The
bottom 80% of the market is too flooded with students and housewives charging
$500 an event to be able to make a sustainable business out of it.

------
FussyZeus
The wife and I run a small costuming page, and we get approached regularly by
various nerdy publications. I only bring it up because their proposals always
reek of the same nonsense as this author has endured in various forms. "Build
your following!" "Reach more people!" Who cares? This is a hobby that
occasionally makes us a little extra cash, we aren't interested in reaching a
billion uninterested eyes, I'd rather reach 100 interested ones.

People aren't half as stupid as a lot of marketers give them credit for, and
the vast majority can instantly spot sponsored content or it's cheap cousins.
The difference is those kinds of people aren't filling out surveys so their
opinions are under-represented.

------
Mz
Although lots of websites are crappy, it does seem like the mommy blog space
is particularly bad. I think this is somehow rooted in how women and moms get
treated, but I don't know how to articulate that at the moment.

I did the full time mom thing for nearly two decades. I have blogged for 15+
years. I never have done what she describes.

I spend time on HN in part because some people here make real money for real
work via the web. I used to be more bitter about not getting the kind of help
I want for figuring out how to do what I do better and make more serious money
at it, but discussions of the crisis in making money from ads has convinced me
that men who know how to make real money online don't know how to effectively
do what I do.

So, I kind of have this hypothesis that effectively making money as a woman
doing "girly" sorts of things is kind of virgin territory. No, I don't think
selling my soul to give reviews of products for sample products or whatever
while claiming it is "my 100% honest opinion" constitutes development of the
space. That is not something I ever plan to do.

------
RUG3Y
I feel that blogging purely for money is the wrong approach to life. The
internet was much more interesting when people had websites because they were
interested in things, not because they were trying to leverage social media or
whatever.

------
drivingmenuts
Couldn't the same be said of most non-mommy blogs as well?

~~~
peteretep
Sure but the author can only claim to be an expert in her field, so good for
her for sticking to what she knows

~~~
collyw
An expert in being a mom?

~~~
peteretep
Did you read the first three paragraphs of the article where she lays out her
experience with these types of blogs?

~~~
collyw
Yes, but considering that the majority of the female population end up
becoming mothers,I fail to see how one person can claim expertise.

~~~
peteretep
Do you also fail to see how someone can become an expert food critic because
everybody eats?

------
artpepper
I remember when blogs were just people writing about things they cared about.
This sounds more like using your kids to shill products?

~~~
0xdeadbeefbabe
This blog entry seems to be something the author cares about. It's sad she
didn't do a satire though.

------
jcater
And yet, it's another blog post on "You're not doing the mommy thing right!"

~~~
mcphage
> it's another blog post on "You're not doing the mommy thing right!"

Being a mommy != being a mommy blogger. Criticism of how someone mommy
blogs—especially when the criticism is of the form "you're being taken
advantage of, and are you actually happy?"—isn't criticizing their parenting
ability, methods, or commitment.

