
Ask HN: How to Handle Argumentative Developers? - frustrateddoer
You probably all know the drill. An engineer with strong opinions on anything and everything. Product, business, sales, ops, stack, roadmap – they have to have to understand and agree on every little detail before they’re onboard. As a leader, you want them to be onboard, you want them to see, and you want them to be happy – but you don’t want to spend eighty percent of your day arguing with them to get there.<p>What&#x27;s the fix? I know to fire them. I know how to not go into arguments and keep the friction slow burning. I have no clue how actually solve it.
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iamNumber4
This is the time to have a conversation about their role in the organization.
They have opinions, sure, are those opinions argumentative by themselves
probably not.

Most engineers want to know the why’s. If there in the dark on the big picture
it can impact the overall results as they make wrong choices in design and
architecture if they don’t know.

The conversation needs to be about their career path, and the aspirations. If
they’re a good engineer, maybe they want to be more. Maybe their ideas are
sound and they are being ignored which leads to frustration and more friction
because they have insights of a problem you don’t see or are blind to.

I would suggest scheduling this first conversation, then daily or weekly 1:1
sync meetings. Keep them in the loop and feeling they are valued members of
your team.

After you have reset your rapport with them. Listen to them, reinforce you
have their back and part of the team. Delegate some responsibility through
stewardship make them the owner of something. Let them succeed or fail.

If they still exhibit the same behavior, and can’t handle what you delegated
to them, then it’s time for them to go.

Don’t loose a talent because you labeled them with a “communication issue”.
The issue may be you are not listening or effectively communicating the
direction or tone.

It also sounds from you post and described issue, is a result from your
management style and possibly being a micro-manager. I could be wrong, but
that is what I inferred.

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zunzun
This problem is psychological and you cannot solve it. When I have seen this,
it was rooted in a type of societal insecurity where the person feels the need
to control - just as your behavior is being controlled. You will do what they
want, or they will refuse to work.

