
And then there's Haskell... - vimes656
http://www.xent.com/pipermail/fork/Week-of-Mon-20070219/044101.html
======
DannoHung
Keep this shit off of HN please. It is both content free and very sexist.

~~~
vimes656
I think it's a nice allegory of the struggle that many programmers feel when
considering to switch to a more sophisticated language. How would you explain
your struggle to someone who doesn't know about programming?

Why it's sexist? The sexes could be perfectly inversed. I guess the
programming languages are depicted as girls because the author is male but it
would apply as well to boyfriends.

~~~
ajscherer
This is an awful analogy because the author is using a scenario with which
most hackers will have no familiarity (having crazy sex with a mysterious
woman) to make a point about a scenario with which hackers are much more
familiar (trying out a different programming language). Any point he wanted to
make about Haskell would've been better made by talking about Haskell instead
of his sexual fantasies.

Dollars to donuts the situation the author is describing has never actually
happened to him.

~~~
vimes656
Hackers not having sex? That's a stupid myth. I would be very surprised if you
show some facts showing that hackers have less sex than the average
population. Sex is not the point the author, it's just an extra.

Learning Haskell is tough, yet there is still not much demand for Haskell
programmers yet. If there are so many hackers interested in Haskell is because
there is something else about it along the lines of what the author describes.

------
rudenoise
Also, you can take Python (or one of the other regular girls/boys) with you to
work in a lot places. You can bang Python for money quite easily.

I, for one, struggle to find anyone who'll pay me to bang Haskell. Maybe
there's a way to carve our own business but it's a big strain on the
relationship...

------
limmeau
So you move in with Haskell the funny-named girl. You're in Heaven.

After a few months, you find out that there are some words that you say, some
things that you do, that make her take her coat without a word, leave for a
day and max out your credit card buying shoes. Sometimes you find out that it
was your way of nodding that reminds her of Uncle Herbert. Sometimes you don't
find out, and just decide not to say the word "mattress" any more.

(Whether that disturbs you enough to break up is up to you)

------
endergen
I hate metaphors. This one is obtuse and not very meaningful.

~~~
hakl
I don't think it's mean to be useful; just male nerds bonding over their
(presumed) shared sexuality.

------
jmillikin
I did not wake up this morning expecting to see programming language slashfic
on HN (or at all, actually).

The author, like many programmers, assumes that you can only use one language
at a time. That if you're using Haskell, or Python, or whatever, that you're
not allowed to mix-and-match with other languages within the same project. But
you can! Most languages have an FFI; just bind their interpreter's APIs and
you can run Haskell and Python and Ruby and Lua and whatever from within the
same project, or even the same process.

~~~
WildUtah
_I did not wake up this morning expecting to see programming language slashfic
on HN (or at all, actually)._

Forgot about rule 34 then?

------
alrex021
Any chick named Haskell that has Monads must be a dude :-)

------
antileet
The page seems down for me. Fortunately, I happened to find the text in the
cache.

"Jeff Bone <jbone at place.org> on Sat Feb 24 10:09:30 PST 2007

    
    
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On Feb 24, 2007, at 10:38 AM, Ken Meltsner wrote:

> Odd that this has come up -- I was just looking at Common Lisp and > Scheme
> implementations, as well as a smattering of Haskellish tools

And then there's Haskell...

Haskell is like "that girl." You know the one...

You never really went steady, but you'd run into her from time to time while
knocking around in disreputable joints, usually late at night, every several
months or so. She looked so hot, so sleek, so sexy, so expressive, so exotic.
You'd end up back at her place and the night would just... take off. A
complete blur of hot, sweaty, feverish, delirious, fumbling passion. You'd do
things to each other... you'd do things to her, she'd do things to you...
things that you're not even sure have names, that you're pretty sure are
illegal almost anywhere. Even her kinks have kinks --- and after one of these
nights, you'd realize that you yourself had a lot more kinks than you. And it
wasn't just physical, it was --- cerebral. Ethereal. Transcendent. But it
would all whiz by in a blur, and by morning you'd find yourself lightheaded, a
bit confused, and stumbling homeward to your regular gal.

Over the next few days and weeks you'd find yourself occasionally drifting
away, thinking about her. Haskell. You'd be there, banging away at your
regular girl, and find yourself thinking "you know, if I was with Haskell, I'd
be doing this completely differently." You'd think "I could be doing so much
bigger and better stuff with Haskell." Now, your regular girl, she's not as
exotic as Haskell. Pretty, maybe, if you're lucky. (Perhaps your regular
girlfriend's name is Python. ;-) But not nearly as --- weird. Wild. Cool.
Exciting. Don't get me wrong --- your girl, she's wonderful. You've got a
wonderful relationship. She's --- comfortable. You can bang away at her all
day and night. She's accommodating. Easy going. You work well together. But
--- confidentially --- she's, well, maybe just a little bit boring. You'd
catch yourself thinking these things, and the guilty pangs would get to you...
You'd quash the thoughts, buckle down, and get back to banging away.
Comfortable... there's a lot to be said for that, ya know? Comfortable... just
keep telling yourself that.

Months would go by. Late some night you'd find yourself out, disreputable
places again. Maybe that hacker bar, LtU. Somebody'd slip you an URL for some
renegade paper, you know, one of _those_ papers. You'd run into Haskell again.
And the whole thing starts over.

Eventually, you're going to get the ultimatum. Haskell's ultimately just like
any other girl on some level; she needs commitment. Eventually, after one
night of wild, feverish, kinky, abstract passion, she's going to say to you:
"All these times, and you don't understand me at all! You know, you're going
to have to get serious, mister! I've got needs, too. You're going to have to
get serious about my monads, or that's the last time you're going to play with
them! Got it?"

...and then, you've got to make The Choice.

Chances are, you're going to go back to your regular gal. Haskell's just too
much for any one man, probably. She leaves a trail of broken, brainy,
embittered PhDs and former programmers behind her. She ruins you for the
RealWorld. You can ride a while, but you probably can't go the distance with
her. Go back to your regular gal and try not to think too much about what
you've seen. Done. Felt. Thought.

Maybe you can salvage a little happiness; but it'll be hard. After all...
you've tasted Haskell.

She's not like anything else.

jb"

~~~
zeteo
>>You'd be there, banging away at your regular girl, and find yourself
thinking "you know, if I was with Haskell, I'd be doing this completely
differently." You'd think "I could be doing so much bigger and better stuff
with Haskell."<<

This sounds a bit peculiar in light of the fact that Haskell is named after
(male) logician Haskell Curry.

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haskell_%28programming_language...](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haskell_%28programming_language%29)

~~~
Deestan
"I'd be doing this completely differently." indeed.

------
ajscherer
Gross

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thesz
I think that name of that girl is Agda Second.

