
Patent Application: Full body teleportation system (2006) - gee_totes
https://www.google.co.uk/patents/US20060071122?dq=John+St.+Clair&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjn5-n32ffTAhVhKMAKHYwWCAMQ6AEIPDAD
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colept
Teleportation is one of those technologies I would never use even if it was
bullet proof.

There would be no way to determine if your consciousness persists - such that
the same "you" is the same connection on both sides. Even if it looks like
you, acts like you - it would shatter the foundation for what it means to be
conscious.

~~~
trsohmers
I really don't understand why people get hung up on this (with the assumption
of the impossible guarantee that it is 100% safe, or "bullet proof" as you put
it). I am perfectly fine with a Prestige/Star Trek transporter, as long as it
is a perfect copy, I don't really care if it is the "original" meatsack or the
100th... all I would want is to make sure the original dies quickly and
painlessly (preferably after it is confirmed the copy was transported safely).

~~~
eduren
I've seen similar arguments to yours (against the deconstruct-reconstruct
matter teleporter), and they never seem to understand the real dilemma:

It kills "you". Not the objective "you" of course, that lives on in the copy.
It kills the subjective "you".

By terminating the stream of consciousness, the person going into the matter
teleporter dies. There's no way for the stream of consciousness to continue
after that point.

It's not ---------------X------------------

It's

\-------------------XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXXXX---------------------------

If you're comfortable dying so that a copy of you can live the rest of your
life, that's your business. But most people don't have that sort of
objectivity.

~~~
parenthephobia
> There's no way for the stream of consciousness to continue after that point.

How can you know that? How can you even know what that means? :)

What is a stream of consciousness? Why wouldn't it be replicated along with
the physical body? If it's separate from the physical body, why doesn't it
move from the original body to the new one? If you know the answers to these
questions: how do you know them?

~~~
mcbruiser3
consciousness is not a "thing" it is a careful arrangement of matter and
energy that is unique to you. replicating that arrangement does not move your
consciousness, it creates a new one.

------
dmix
Instead of giving him a patent, the patent office should be referring him to a
doctor given the fact he is temporarily blacking out while walking down
streets:

> In the next instance, he (G) found himself down the street near the corner
> of the next block. Realizing that he had passed the bus stop, he turned
> around to see the iron grating approximately 50 meters up the street in back
> of him. Because there was no recollection of having jumped across the iron
> grating nor of having passed the bus stop's yellow marker line, he realized
> that he had been teleported a distance of 100 meters while moving along with
> the traveling wave.

Although you have to give him credit for mixing physics, geometry, with new
age pseudo-science babble:

> The question is how does this amplified gravitational wave created by the
> rotating propellers and turbines get into hyperspace from our dimension?

> The answer comes from experiments done using the ancient Chinese form of
> breathing known as Chi Kung. Using this breathing technique, we have been
> able to levitate the human body over six feet in the air. The internal
> temperature of the stomach is around 200 degrees Fahrenheit. By
> simultaneously squeezing the diaphragm to bring hot air up through the
> lungs, and breathing through the nose to bring cold air down, rotating
> vortices are generated in the lung passages when these two air masses meet
> and twist around each other as depicted in the famous Yin-Yang diagram.
> Because the lung has variable diameter passages from the large diameter at
> the throat to the final small air sacs, there is a spectrum of rotating
> frequencies.

From which he jumps to this sentence:

> From quantum physics it is known that if there is a temperature fluctuation
> occurring among a group of harmonic oscillators in the environment, then
> Planck's reduced constant Figure US20060071122A1-20060406-P00900 is
> increased by the cotangent of the constant times the frequency ω of the
> oscillator divided by twice Boltzmann's constant k times the temperature T ℏ
> = ℏ ⁢ ⁢ coth ⁡ ( ℏω n 2 ⁢ kT )

But really, who needs black holes when you have breathing?

~~~
YeGoblynQueenne
>> Instead of giving him a patent, the patent office should be referring him
to a doctor given the fact he is temporarily blacking out while walking down
streets:

That's probably because of all the, um, "blowing smoke into hyperspace".

------
kenny87
This guy is perhaps the 21st Century's most important inventor,
[http://zapatopi.net/blog/?post=200604284330.st_clair_hyperin...](http://zapatopi.net/blog/?post=200604284330.st_clair_hyperinventor)

~~~
ChuckMcM
Heh, quite the record of applications.

------
6d6b73
While I suspect that the device in question does not work as advertised, I
think this patent application has more merit than 99% of software patents
nowadays.

~~~
techman9
What on earth would make you suspect that the device does not work as
described?

~~~
s0rce
I'm sure it works, just need to get the gravity wave generator working right
:)

"generating a pulsed gravitational wave which propagates through a magnetic
vortex wormhole generator; and generating a wormhole with the magnetic vortex
generator whereby the pulsed gravitational wave traverses through the wormhole
and enters into hyperspace where the wave is enormously magnified due to the
lower speed of light in that dimension"

------
boolint
"Using this generator, it was found that smoke blown through one side of the
coil does not appear on the other side of cylindrical coil. The smoke flows
through the wormhole and appears in a hyperspace co-dimension. It was this
experiment that resulted in making first contact with the androids of the Grey
aliens who told me, in a remote viewing session, that 'We saw you blowing
smoke into hyperspace.'"

~~~
dmix
Well he is quite the expert:

> It took a number of days in order to understand this sequence of events. The
> explanation involves knowledge of a wide range of subjects such as
> gravitation physics, hyperspace physics, wormhole electromagnetic theory and
> experimentation, quantum physics, and the nature of the human energy field.

------
azeemsola
This might sound crazy, but one time, I met a shirtless homeless man in denver
that purported to be John Quincy St. Clair. He had quite the ability to talk
about the patents.

------
PatrickAuld
If you put "It was/is obvious" in a patent application, regardless if it
involves hyperspace or not, the USPO should reject it outright.

------
cbisnett
A friend of my wife's worked at the USPTO for a few years as a mechanical
engineer reviewing patent applications. He said they would regularly get
applications for time travel machines and perpetual motion machines and they
would have to spend a bunch of time writing up why it was rejected. It was a
right of passage usually reserved for the new guy ;)

------
nkrisc
You teleport by breathing. Can't tell if they believe it or it's all a joke.

~~~
YeGoblynQueenne
You _levitate_ by breathing. You teleport by pulsed gravitational wave.

~~~
nkrisc
Of course, silly me. I misunderstood the genius here.

------
andrewhubbs
This is a pretty great comic that deals with this exact debate.
[http://existentialcomics.com/comic/1](http://existentialcomics.com/comic/1)

------
edko
Honest question: this patent application mentions "hyperspace". Does such
thing exist, or is it just science fiction?

~~~
zardo
It's the 19th century term for spaces with dimension > 3\. But... its just
techno-babble now.

[http://news.psu.edu/story/141406/1995/12/01/research/deflati...](http://news.psu.edu/story/141406/1995/12/01/research/deflating-
hyperspace)

------
Aliyekta
2004!

------
pwg
Title needs to be changed. This is _not_ a patent. This is a publication of a
patent application.

Note the metadata field on the google patents page:

Publication type Application

~~~
Animats
Right, it's an application. You can send the USPTO anything you want, if you
pay the application fee.

In the USPTO's Public PAIR system, the detailed history of the application,
with images of all the documents, is available. The response from the USPTO
was a "non-final rejection". The rejection starts out with "An examination of
this application indicates that applicant is unfamiliar with patent
prosecution procedure", and then includes a FAQ the USPTO sends to the
clueless.

After that, the examiner writes "The invention is not supported by a credible
utility or well-established utility because the claims call for the generation
of gravitational waves and and the interacting of the waves with hyperspace
... The use of hyperspace and gravitational waves in the claims therefore must
be backed up with significant scientific and experimental data ... (applicant
must prove) ... that the applicant has the ability to harness such interaction
for a useful purpose and demonstrate it on demand."

The applicant never replied to that, so, six months later, the application was
rejected for failure to reply to an office action. The applicant does not get
his application fee of $770 back. Trolling the patent office is expensive.

The USPTO did exactly what they should have done. They took the application
seriously, and sent the applicant a non-final rejection requiring proof that
it worked. The applicant then gave up.

Nine years later, the applicant sent in a notice of assignment, reporting the
sale of the (nonexistent) patent rights to someone in Bakersfield, CA, for $5.
This was filed incorrectly, but the USPTO scanned it in and put it in the
database.

