
Is Rejection Painful? Actually, It Is - robg
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/15/fashion/is-rejection-painful-actually-it-is-studied.html?ref=fashion
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sp332
Have you ever tried the experiment where a delay is added to your mouse input?
Just a small delay (a fraction of a second) will feel like something is
broken. Your brain will quickly adjust, and before long, everything seems
normal. But for a little while, your brain will tell you "there is something
wrong, this is broken."

Testosterone has two interesting effects which I think contribute the the
feeling of pain after rejection. (Remember that women also have some T, and it
works identically.) The first is that it improves muscle function. And the
other is that T decreases dramatically when a person is rejected. So suddenly,
I think _all_ of your muscles suddenly don't work quite as well as they did a
moment ago. So a really crappy physical feeling is compounded by your brain
complaining that your entire body is slightly broken because it doesn't react
in the expected way.

Just an idea :)

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FrojoS
Nice. This might explain, why, I now feel physical pain when I have to use
Windows XP :-D

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rinkjustice
Being the creator of rejection Therapy <http://www.rejectiontherapy.com> I've
had some pretty big rejections. Blown out even. Decimated.

Does it hurt? Yes, like nothing else. My entire being feels shell shocked.
It's not a sharp, stabbing pain, mind you. It's a ringing, searing sickness I
feel through my entire body. Some rejections have given me flu-like symptoms
for days.

But you know what? I also feel like a took a good punch and I'm still
standing. I've seen other people be courageous and get completely blown out
and I deeply respect them for that. To some, they are victims or suckers. To
me, they are heroes I would hug if I could.

So, when I get rejected in an epic way, I try and respect and honour myself.

Best of all, the rejection gives me an experience to draw upon. I can say,
"I've been through worse and came out stronger. I'll be okay. I can do this."

It can be the best confidence in the world.

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Alex3917
"And while people have long taken painkillers to cope with emotional distress,
there’s no telling, in this instance, whether a Tylenol can help."

Actually, there is:

[http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/12/091222154742.ht...](http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/12/091222154742.htm)

[http://mindhacks.com/2010/06/16/headache-pill-reduces-the-
pa...](http://mindhacks.com/2010/06/16/headache-pill-reduces-the-pain-of-
social-rejection/)

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hnsmurf
The difference is the more I get rejected, the less each individual one hurts.
I don't think that's true about getting stabbed, though I haven't experimented
to prove it.

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barrkel
I think if you tried it with light burns (e.g. minor hot water spills), it
would lessen somewhat over time.

~~~
rinkjustice
That's been true in my experience. I used to work as a die caster in a
foundry.

The first few years there, the die cast machines were only semi automated. We
had to scoop out the molten aluminum from the holding furnace with a big
ladle. We wore gloves but you could still feel the intense heat of the furnace
on your hands. Our work shirts were made of simple cotton and provided zero
protection against molten metal.

There wasn't a day that went by when I didn't get burned either on my hands,
arms or face. On night shift it happened twice as often.

At first, having a glob of molten aluminum splash on my skin was scary and
very painful. But after a few months of it happening every single day, it was
nothing. You just brushed it off and carried on.

~~~
barrkel
That's what I've heard anecdotally from chefs too; not just that, but the body
adapts and even stops overreacting.

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nazgulnarsil
I think rejection therapy is so important it should be a class in school.

~~~
usaar333
Every time I hear about rejection therapy, I think of the person I know who
excels the most at it:

The local homeless guy.

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jnhnum1
Kind of weird that the article claims there haven't been any findings like
this before. This sounds a lot like research done at the social cognitive
neuroscience lab at UCLA...about 8 years ago
(<http://www.scn.ucla.edu/pdf/Cyberball290.pdf>).

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ballard
What doesn't...

