

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? - robg
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/23/opinion/23lovenheim.html?partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=all

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shaunxcode
I think this is prime for hacker news. Between this and the article recently
calling into question broader goals for technology (you know solving world
problems rather than just scratching niche itches and hoping you make some ad
revenue along the way) I am really inspired again. Though this article only
briefly touches on the impact of technology on community it must be said that
the advent of online "community" is definitely either making the lack of real
community more apparent or having a detrimental effect on it.

This is probably thread jacking but I wonder how many other posters also read
the works of stafford beer, macluhan, debord, zerzan (select * from
social_critique order by nihilism asc) and derive inspiration for their
hacking/startup projects? Identifying and grappling with the domination and
separation/alienation of daily life is one of the hardest aspects of living
let alone being a proponent of technology when it seems to be the driving
force in alienation.

Staying inspired and absorbed by technology while at the same time abhorring
it for what it seems to be doing to our culture is the closest thing that I
have to faith. What is killing us could also be our cure. In what ways could
technology actually help build bridges within communities? How can we increase
autonomy, security and solidarity on both the micro and macro levels?

------
culley
It's been more than a year since I helped an elderly neighbor put out his
recycling. Not that he asked me, and Not that he didn't vigorously refuse any
help. We ended up talking for 2 hours well after dark there in the street.
I've always wanted to have a bachelor's dinner at my house where I invite all
the neighbors over for some food and coffee and drinks.

this article has inspired me. I'll try it this weekend.

Wish me luck.

~~~
calvin
Definitely do the bachelor dinner!

After a recent trip to Charleston, I experienced first-hand some excellent
hospitality w/ gracious hosts. I realized that it's something that's been
largely missing from my life and I want to be more intentional about
encouraging community growth and real relationships through hospitality.

I'm already diving in and am going to have several people over for dinner on
Thursday night. It's mostly bachelors, but this is a low-key way for a
bachelor like myself to start out. All that's needed is a large pot of
spaghetti and some games and we'll see how things go!

The biggest realization I've had regarding community and hospitality is that
you can't wait for somebody else to start it because if you do most of the
time you'll end up lonely and waiting when you could be having a great time
instead if you start it up yourself.

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lief79
Unless you are trying to get to know your neighbors, it is very easy to not
know them.

I found that after freshman year of college, you had to make an effort to meet
upperclassmen, even those on your floor. They already have friends, and
routines, and meeting random strangers is not usually a part of those
routines.

It seems like this has only gotten worse since college. So, on this note, when
is the last time you struck up a conversation with a random stranger. I highly
recommend trying it sometime, as it tends to be enlightening.

~~~
albertcardona
The subway in New York is particularly inviting. For a while lots of trains
had the following sign:

"STRANGER! if you, passing, meet me, and desire to speak to me, why should you
not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?"

From Whitman, I think.

[Plus, I find it easy to start a conversation in NY subway, for some reason
still beyond my understanding.]

------
Hexstream
"Why is it that in an age of cheap long-distance rates, discount airlines and
the Internet, when we can create community anywhere, we often don’t know the
people who live next door?"

This question is its own answer... We formely didn't have much choice over who
we communicate with because distances were a real impediment. Now that we can
communicate with "anyone", the opportunity cost is that we'll necessarily
communicate less with the only ones we could communicate with before.

------
fartron
Get out of the suburbs. They were built for automobiles, not people. It's no
accident that neighborhoods built for isolation result in alienation.

~~~
akd
I lived in a building smack in the middle of San Francisco and didn't know my
neighbors either. The only real difference in a city is that your neighbors
are 10 feet instead of 100 feet from you.

~~~
ardit33
Maybe it is the neighborhood you were in, or that you don't make an effort to
aproach people?

I live in San Francisco, and I know at least two of my neighbors. We are not
friends or anything, but a hi and a small talk once and a while doesn't hurt.
Unfortunately, i live in a building where people stay for few years, and move
somewhere else, so I guess that doesn't help.

I also sub-leased an apt. in North Beach, for my visiting parents. The girl I
subleased from, had lived in that apt. for about 10 years, and she knew most
of her neighbors. She gave me three numbers, of neighbors that could help me,
if something happened, and my parents were talking to her downstairs neighbors
everyday. Very nice people. I also picked the key from one of her neighbors,
so she trusted them.

Living in a place where people are less transient helps a lot. From now and
on, I am going to try to be more friendly to people I don't know. I have seen
the opposite, where people are unfriendly, and I don't like it.

------
hugh
I think the best reason for not getting to know your neighbours is this: if it
turns out they're annoying, it's hard to get away from them.

------
edw519
_Why is it that in an age of cheap long-distance rates, discount airlines and
the Internet, when we can create community anywhere, we often don’t know the
people who live next door?_

OP forgot the biggest anti-neighbor invention of them all: air-conditioning.

I knew every single family on the street I grew up on. We _all_ knew each
other. In the summer, every single door and window was open; people had screen
doors and front porches. If you wanted to know what anyone was up to, all you
had to do was go outside. The kids were playing in the street and the adults
were visiting on their porches.

Today, on my same street (and every other one it seems), all the doors and
windows are closed, the A/C is on, and when people want to go outside, they
use the fenced-in backyard instead. What a pity.

