

Being shy about how much I make - nickbp
http://littlemissmoneybags.blogspot.com/2011/03/being-shy-about-how-much-i-make.html
"I went out for dinner last night with two friends in my field, and had the most bizarre realization that I make way more money than they do."
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dgreensp
The author seems to have a bit of a money fixation. She is obsessed with how
much money she has -- her blog graphs her net worth publicly! -- and with the
image of thriftiness. Saying that someone who orders an appetizer at a
restaurant, considers dessert, or has more than one drink must "handle money
differently" from her is just obnoxious. I bet she smiled knowingly to
herself, and maybe shook her head a bit, when those appetizers were ordered --
some people don't know how to save money!

In this blog we are merely observing the firings of someone's ego who
identifies as "thrifty" and a high earner. I'm sure any awkwardness with her
friends is created by her!

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bartonfink
It is awkward, especially when you aren't sure how others are going to take
it. Because American culture doesn't really condone talking about personal
finances, you have a hard time gauging someone's reactions when the subject
comes up, which causes a sort of opacity feedback loop.

I have a very good friend who just graduated law school and got his first job
with some firm in Virginia. He helped me move cross country last summer, and
got the job offer on the drive. On the drive, he mentioned his salary as a way
of bragging (he likes to do that), and I casually mentioned that was a great
salary for someone effectively right out of school. He asked what I made, and
I told him it was in the ballpark of double his new offer, and that pissed him
off. I had to remind him that I've been doing this professionally for five
years, that I've got a strong track record of getting shit done and that I
also have a grad degree in my field. It didn't really help, and it made things
awkward for the remainder of the trip. I'm not sure why, though. We have
another friend who makes far more than either of us ever will (he's some sort
of associate director for a hedge fund), and although we don't know specifics
it's fairly easy to come to grips with the fact that all of us make different
amounts of money. I'm just not sure why the contrast between my attorney
friend's salary and my own was such a shock, and it makes me very hesitant to
discuss money with them in the future.

~~~
jtbigwoo
Brand new lawyers are really terrible in this regard. Out of the young lawyers
I know, two are really in it because they love the law and justice. The other
95%+ are in it for money and prestige, not because they actually like doing
the job.

If he's in the latter group, what he heard was "You've worked like a dog in
school and now you're going to have to work 80+ hour weeks to make half as
much as I do." In contrast, he's probably able to rationalize the hedge fund
guy as a lottery-type combination of talent, ridiculously hard work, and luck.

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mcyger
$15K or $6K per year is a big deal in the first few years of your working
life. It becomes much less important a metric later in life. Especially so
when you look at all factors involved in a particular job: bureaucracy, a _^_
ole boss, jerky workmates, long hours, too much water cooler gossip, hurry-up
and wait, short notice deadlines, etc. Many of my friends would gladly take a
pay cut to "own their life" and work from home, for example.

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Hominem
Bah, she lives in NYC, there is always someone making more.

~~~
rhizome
Plus, the salaries of her two friends who she makes "way more" than? A
difference of $15K and $6K.

