

Rationalizing the insanity of startup life - micaelwidell
http://www.micaelwidell.com/p/4/

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mindcrime
Never thought about it that way before, but that makes a lot of sense. As I
alluded to before[1], you'd have to be insane to the a startup founder. And
there's no question that my life is "messed up" by any normal standard.

So, how do I rationalize it? Well...

1\. I cannot stand the idea of having "a boss" anymore. Yeah, yeah, I _know_
that "you always have a boss" in a metaphorical sense, but I don't want one
specific person who can walk in the room, yank my chain and command me to "do
this" or "stop doing that" etc. It goes against my intrinsic nature and I've
lived that way too long.

2\. I think building a startup is the best chance I have to achieve the kind
of financial independence and freedom I'm looking for. Yeah, yeah, I know the
stats about how you can go into investment banking, maybe a few hundred K per
year and have a better average outcome than being a founder. But I don't plan
on an average outcome. Which leads straight to...

3\. Like most founders, I'm irrational and think that I'm special somehow. Of
course I'll be one of the ones who succeeds, why wouldn't I? But that's
obviously irrational, which leads to...

4\. I don't _care_ if it's irrational, because I can live with failure, as
long as I fail with honor, so to speak. Chasing my dreams, reaching for the
sky, going for a moon-shot, and failing and dying penniless, broke, alone and
destitute is absolutely acceptable to me. Living an average, boring, dull,
bland life is not.

5\. I just want a chance to do things on my own terms, live my own life, and
call my own shots. It's my internal "Howard Roark" guiding me. I just plan to
do what I plan to do, and I don't really care who does or doesn't like it. In
fact, I like the idea of having doubters, detractors and adversaries, because
they motivate me. So casting myself into a story with those elements is just
part of my own internal mythology.

6\. It's fun, in a perverse sort of way. Not getting enough sleep, forgoing
social interactions, pushing myself to the breaking point, all in a mad,
desperate quest to achieve something... what could possibly be better?

7\. I'm a child of the 80's and the era of the "feel good movie" where the
good guys win in the end, thanks to hard work, determination and perseverance,
and sheer will. Again, internal mythology... This is my chance to live out a
Joseph Campbellian "Hero With A Thousand Faces" story. Or, depending on how
things turn out, an H.P. Lovecraft story. :-)

[1]: <https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5688444>

