
Today you, tomorrow me  - bjg
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/c18z0z2
======
edw519
Funny, as I read this post I thought, "Not hacker news." Then I read all the
comments (42 as of this writing) and still thought, "Not hacker news."

Then I realized, "Perfect hacker news." Let me explain...

I try to approach my business just as the Mexicans in the story did. Not to
make money, not to change the world, not to build cool stuff (well maybe just
a little), but to genuinely help people. For a business person, this thinking
is difficult and counter-intuitive.

Why do I do this? Because of my first mentor (and co-founder).

He was relentless in everything he did. I learned to stay up all night, keep
calling on customers, and stay with tasks until we got somewhere with them. I
remember many nights with thousands of invoices spread across the carpet,
watching the graveyard shift run their machines, or scanning reports on-line,
looking for clues. He wouldn't quit and the reason was always the same, "These
people need help and we can help them. So we do. Don't worry about how hard it
is or how much time we spend, it'll all work out in the end."

Sometimes I think that this is the attitude very successful people must have.
It's too easy to give up when it's for ourselves, but much harder when we know
that someone else needs us to get the thing done.

The Mexicans in the story reminded me of my mentor. A great lesson for anyone
in business (or not). Thank you, OP.

~~~
snth
I appreciate the sentiment, but "it'll all work out in the end" seems like a
warning sign of wishful (poor) thinking.

~~~
edw519
Who am I going to listen to, the man who taught me more than I ever could ever
imagine (and is now retired and giving away his millions) or some stranger who
thinks he knows better?

I often share thoughts like this in the OP's spirit of "pass it on" so that it
may benefit someone else.

Take it or leave it. But doubting it, commenting on what it "seems", or
downvoting it only makes you look like a fool.

[Sorry for the negative tone, but this is a perfect example of the one thing
about hn that really bugs me: people talking when they should be listening.]

~~~
snth
Of course you're free to listen to whomever you like; I wish you would take my
comment more as an alternative viewpoint than as an insult. I do appreciate
the sentiment of your story, that people should help others, but personally I
think the attitude "it'll all work out in the end" ruins more lives than it
saves.

~~~
zzzeek
"it'll all work out" is an effective tool to deal with irrational or
counterproductive anxiety (irrational== fear of flying, fear of social
settings, etc., counterproductive==survival situations, situations with no
other reasonable extrication than through, i.e. you need to swim to safety,
you're stuck in a cave, you have a huge presentation to do tomorrow). It's
entirely a bad idea to use in lieu of rational decisionmaking (i.e. "Ill enter
into this horrible business deal, itll all work out!").

If you have generally negligible amounts of anxiety in life, the attitude is
probably useless. For those of us that have tons, the judicious usage of this
attitude is definitely a lifesaver.

------
dazzawazza
If you live in the UK you will surely know Dave Gorman [1]. He did a TV show
called American Unchained [2] where he attempted to get across America without
using chain stores. In that series I saw an America that I recognise from the
Americans I know and have worked with (I've never visited America). Americans
are some of the most friendly, optimistic and outgoing people in the known
universe. In the show he experienced many Americans going out of their way to
help him, many for little or no financial gain and many lamented the decline
of offline, small time, service with a smile, mom and pop America.

If I may be so bold as to offer some advice to Americans: Be careful not to
lose this side of your culture, sure you've got the biggest army, the biggest
economy and more burger stores than any country would ever need but what has
been your real strength for the last 100 years has been your welcoming,
trusting and honest nature.

good luck.

[1] - <http://www.davegorman.com/> [2] -
<http://www.davegorman.com/projects_america_unchained.html>

~~~
yellowbkpk
On. The complete opposite end of the spectrum check out Top Gear's show where
they visited the American South. Obviously it was meant to provoke but it does
bring up a few good points. I'd link you but I'm on my phone.

~~~
kirse
Yea, and I also learned how to become a doctor by watching House and ER, fish
for Alaskan crab by watching Deadliest Catch, and learned all about how to
have relationships by closely studying Friends and Entourage!

So no, that episode of Top Gear does not bring up any "good points" to draw
legitimate conclusions about the American South. All it shows is that if you
insult the average person enough, they'll get pissed off enough to deliver a
few minutes of good footage. Meanwhile, back here in reality (not in TV land)
-- if you visited down South you'd find that, given a broad sampling,
Southerners are far kinder and warmer than us from New England. (p.s. I'm not
from the South).

It gives me great concern that we as Americans assume so much truth from our
30 minute highlight reels.

~~~
kenjackson
Weird. I had a two friends get spat on their first day in the South, and it
went downhill from there. They were an interracial couple. The local sheriff
asked them when they planned on leaving, as if they were the problem. This was
2010, not 1950.

I'm sure the South is more welcoming for some people, but I wouldn't assume it
to be the case for everybody. And I'm sure it depends on what areas of the
south you go to (its still one of the most segregated areas in the US).

~~~
smallblacksun
You ever been with someone with a strong southern accent in the north? I heard
them called "hick" and "redneck" any number of times, and a black man said
(direct quote) "I ain't helping no racist" when he was asked (politely) for
directions.

~~~
kareemm
Reminds me of the time I was visiting South Carolina from Montreal. I was in a
gas station waiting to pay when I overheard two guys talking in the thickest
southern accents imaginable. I couldn't hear what they were saying and I
chuckled to myself at how much they sounded like dumb hicks.

It was only when they got closer did I hear that they were talking about
nuclear physics.

It was a good reminder about judging books by covers, etc.

~~~
vacri
I was in a shop when I heard the lilting strains of a woman with an Irish
accent at the next table over.

Being quite partial to an Irish accent, I decided to eavesdrop and sate my
desire.

The first words I heard her say once I 'tuned in' - and I swear this is true -
were "potato potato potato". I had to leave the shop quite quickly for fear of
losing my composure :)

------
dtf
For some reason, half way through this great story I suddenly found myself
contrasting it with that less great story that did the rounds last July 4: the
Sun-Times' Terry Savage's "There is no free lemonade" (original article
expired probably with good reason, but here's a copy I found:
<http://bit.ly/eqIMNe>) wherein author recounts her horror at finding a
lemonade stand manned by two girls giving away their product for free. Despite
attempts to instill an entrepreneurial spirit into the fledgling tycoons - on
that day of all days - they still refuse to charge for it, whereupon she
drives away disgusted and thirsty.

Is $15 for a gas can unreasonable when there is quite clearly a market? In
theory a $20 labour and parts charge handed to the poor Mexican family should
make both parties happy and the economy stronger (barring somewhat awkward
questions of tax, right to work etc). In practice the removal of money from a
human transaction created an intangible wealth, a bonding of strangers and a
transfer of values that has travelled far beyond that stretch of tarmac.

~~~
tambler
Thank you for intimating that wealth should be measured in more than currency.
Too often discussions of the economy focus only on measures like GDP, roughly,
how much money is flying around. Clearly, measuring our wealth and the health
of the economy involves much more than this.

What terrifies me is that, where capitilism has all but become the religion,
people act like being selfish is somehow doing the right thing.

~~~
PakG1
We should remember that the core measurement of economics is utility, not
money. Money's just an easy way to measure utility for most means, but not by
any means complete.

------
noonespecial
One of the first times I stopped to help what appeared to be a person with a
flat, I got a good long (loud) lecture about how just because she was a woman,
she wasn't helpless... how men should just ... if we'd all just... call the
police if I don't ...

Honestly, I couldn't tell by sight at 5 feet is she was male or female. To say
this response caught me by surprise is an understatement. Over the long haul,
this experience did not deter me from stopping to help, I'm just a little more
careful not to go bounding up like an over-excited Labrador puppy with my
offers of assistance.

This is probably good advice from a security standpoint as well. Stop to help,
but be situationally aware.

~~~
mcepl
I am European as well, and although I completely agree that American people
are the best part of the American experience (INS officials being an
exceptions, because they are not humans, of course), there was this one
exception the first week I came first time in my life to Boston. I was rushing
to the revolving door and I saw a lady obviously some kind of professional who
was rushing to the same doors. I have opened the door and hold it for her. I
couldn't believe when I was slapped on my face and told she didn't need a help
from a sexist pig. Fortunately, I have not gave up on being courteous and I
have never repeated this experience, but this was surely weird situation.

Greetings over the Pond!

~~~
YooLi
You should have filed assault charges on the bitch. She doesn't need help from
a sexist pig, yet she slaps you across the face because it's okay for a woman
to slap a man.

------
bobf
The original Spanish expression is "Hoy por ti, mañana por mi", and I find the
Golden Rule to be the closest direct application of the concept in a single
expression. Interestingly, the three suggested translations of the expression
I found were: "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours", "What goes around,
comes around", and "Tit for tat"
([http://www.proz.com/kudoz/spanish_to_english/idioms_maxims_s...](http://www.proz.com/kudoz/spanish_to_english/idioms_maxims_sayings/855832-hoy_por_ti_ma%C3%B1ana_por_mi.html)).
However, none of those seem to accurately convey the sentiment/ideal expressed
in the original phrase.

~~~
nagrom
There's a similar phrase that doesn't occur in your set of translations but
accurately conveys the meaning: "Pay it forward".

~~~
js2
[Pay it forward] was rediscovered and described by Benjamin Franklin, in a
letter to Benjamin Webb dated April 22, 1784:

 _I do not pretend to give such a Sum; I only lend it to you. When you [...]
meet with another honest Man in similar Distress, you must pay me by lending
this Sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the Debt by a like operation, when
he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus
go thro' many hands, before it meets with a Knave that will stop its
Progress._

------
wyclif
Last time I picked up a hitchhiker I was driving across the buttes of Platte
County, Wyoming. I noticed a middle aged guy standing outside of his
conversion van with what looked like an empty plastic gas can in his hand. But
what made me stop was the NY tags (I'm from the northeast US). In that part of
Wyoming, if you see a gas station anywhere you'd better stop and fill up if
you're at half a tank or less.

Sure enough, I stop to take him to where I knew the nearest station was, and
in perfect Brooklynese he says, "Am I _evah_ glad to see you!"

------
arebe
When I was a teenager I worked at a local ski area parking cars. Every weekend
I drove my '92 Blazer to the ski hill at 5am, clocked in, parked cars in the
freezing cold, then drove a shuttle bus until the afternoon shift came on. I
also worked on Christmas and New Year's Day since those tend to be big ski
days.

One Christmas, I got off work around 2pm. I was driving home to open presents,
have dinner, etc. when I came across a delivery van on the side of the road,
hopelessly spinning its wheels in about 2 feet of heavy snow. It looked as if
they had pulled over to get out of the way or check their map and gotten
stuck.

I turned around and pulled up across the highway from them. "Need some help?"
I shouted. The dirty, scruffy driver who was digging at the wheels with his
foot glared at me, "No dammit! We're fine."

I got back in my car and sat and watched for a minute. He jumped in the van
and took some anger out on the gas pedal, digging himself even deeper in. I
calmly turned around, backed my car up to about 15 feet in front of his van,
stepped out, and stood there with a tow-strap in my hand watching him.

Finally, he got out, gruffly accepted the other end of the strap from me, and
hooked it up to his van. I got in my Blazer, set it to 4-Lo and pulled him out
of the snow and onto the pavement in about 2 seconds flat.

"Thanks," he said. "No problem. Merry Christmas." I said as I rolled the
snatch strap back up. Then he reached into his pocket, "Here. Take this.

"No way," I said. "It's Christmas. Get home safe."

"Absolutely not! It's wear and tear on your vehicle." he growled. Figuring I
had probably hurt this guy's pride enough already, I just took what was in his
hand, wished him a Merry Christmas again, and got back in my car. I threw the
money on the seat next to me: three one-dollar bills.

I smiled and laughed all the way home. I made sure to drop those three dollar
bills into the next donation box I saw.

~~~
hkr
We need more people like you.

------
tibbon
I always stop to help someone, partially because I know I've sure needed it
myself a few times.

Even simple things can make a person's day. I saw a guy pushing a low cc
1970's Honda motorcycle down the sidewalk in Cambridge a few months ago. I
pulled over immediately and ran up to him- it looked like he was having a bad
day. He said it wouldn't start after he stalled it. I'd been riding and
repairing vintage Honda's myself for about a year at that point, so I was
hopeful. Turns out it was just that his battery was dead and he didn't know
how to use the kickstarter as he'd just started riding it. A few quick kicks
and he was ready to go and now knew how to start his bike without a good
battery.

When I have a non-motorcycle I try to always keep a fairly large set of tools
in the trunk and anything else I could think to use. My pickup was stocked
like a fallout/survival shelter. My motorcycles obviously carry less, but I
always try to keep a first aid kit and a blowout kit to get someone to safety.

------
krschultz
Hitchhiking is unfortunately one of those things that has been completely
ruined by a few bad apples. It only takes 0.00001% of the hitchhikers being
serial killers or rapists to sour everyone against picking up hitchikers. So
few people hitchike because it is a hassle, and now it increases the
likelyhood that the person hitchiking is a derelict, a postive feedback loop
of national proportions.

------
dfox
And as for slighly offtopic comment: have you noticed how hard it is to get
various road side assistance companies to actually do something useful?

Few weeks ago slightly aged tire on my not so slightly aged car not only went
flat but essentially disappeared on highway (in ~150 kph). As my car was
recently broken into I did't have a spare (you are not required to carry spare
in Czech Republic, but you are legally required to have some way of fixing
broken tires, be it spare, quick-fix-kit or road side assistance
subscription). So I correctly assumed that quick-fix kit is of no use when you
don't have an actual tire to fix and tried to call road side assistance
company which I subscribe to that even offers help with tire replacement. They
told me that they cannot do anything else than tow my car somewhere (for like
an 2 EUR per km, times two, which was out of question assuming I was like
400km from home) and fix the tire in 2 business days, so I canceled my
subscription and went to get spare tire by some other means. In the end my
girlfriend called her parents who got me spare tire by some networking and
fast talking means in like half an hour, you simply got to like rural areas
and people who are always ready to help.

~~~
eru
I remember when we were in Mongolia, an axis of our minibus broke. At three in
the morning. Our local guides drove around in the second car, and managed to
acquire one in an hour or so; the third guy they asked had an axis to spare.
The first two guys had some pointers for finding the third guy in the first
place.

And Mongolia has almost no population density.

~~~
ZoFreX
That's just how it works out there, their ability to fix anything astounded
me. We had a new exhaust bracket made by our chef, using an old tire, his
kitchen knife, and the poker out of the fire!

------
raganwald
Interestingly, Richard Feynman tells a similar story. I think it's in "Why do
you care what other people think?" It also is depicted in Matthew Broderick's
movie "Infinity."

He was working at Los Alamos on the bomb, and his wife was dying in hospital.
He had to make long drives back and forth to visit his wife. He picks up a
hitchhiker, a Mexican who speaks no English. IIRC, he rambles on and tells the
Mexican about his wife and how she's sick, but the Mexican can't understand
him. The crux of the story is when they break down. They aren't in danger of
dying in the desert, they get to a gas station, where the Mexican suddenly
speaks perfect English and explains how to fix the car so that Feynman can
make it to see his wife in time.

Feynman deduces that the Mexican pretending to speak no English is actually a
spy, and asks him why he broke his cover. The Mexican answers that he was
moved by Richard's plight.

~~~
bemmu
_My wife, Arlene, was ill with tuberculosis--very ill indeed. It looked as if
something might happen at any minute, so I arranged ahead of time with a
friend of mine in the dormitory to borrow his car in an emergency so I could
get to Albuquerque quickly. His name was Klaus Fuchs. He was the spy, and he
used his automobile to take the atomic secrets away from Los Alamos down to
Santa Fe. But nobody knew that.

The emergency arrived. I borrowed Fuchs's car and picked up a couple of
hitchhikers, in case something happened with the car on the way to
Albuquerque. Sure enough, just as we were driving into Santa Fe, we got a flat
tire. The two guys helped me change the tire, and just as we were leaving
Santa Fe, another tire went flat. We pushed the car into a nearby gas station.

The gas station guy was repairing somebody else's car, and it was going to
take a while before he could help us. I didn't even think to say anything, but
the two hitchhikers went over to the gas station man and told him the
situation. Soon we had a new tire (but no spare--tires were hard to get during
the war). About thirty miles outside Albuquerque a third tire went flat, so I
left the car on the road and we hitchhiked the rest of the way. I phoned a
garage to go out and get the car while I went to the hospital to see my wife.

Arlene died a few hours after I got there._

~~~
raganwald
Man, that's not even close to how I remembered the story. I need to watch
Infinity again, maybe that version took liberties with the original by merging
the hitchhikers with Fuchs, and that's what I remembered...

~~~
hammock
I like your version better.

~~~
raganwald
I'm going to watch "Infinity" again over the holidays. If that's the version,
the credit goes to Matthew Broderick's mom. She wrote the script.

------
samfoo
Earlier this year, I lived in Guatemala studying Spanish, climbing volcanos
and motorcycling around. At one point a friend of mine visited me from Mexico
for a couple weeks and we decided we'd rent a car and drive around the
country. It's much safer than the busses, and way more freedom.

We were going between villages in the mountains that were -- to say the least
-- rural. Most of them probably had thirty or forty people living in them and
the only access was a single-lane dirt road barely passable by even four-wheel
drive vehicles. The workers in the villages rely on hitchhiking or private
"taxis" to get to work. Those with trucks generally pick up anyone on the side
of the road who's going in the same direction and flags them down.

Having been the hiker myself on some similar Guatemalan roads previously, I
discovered that it's customary to ask the driver how much you owed them for
the trip at the end and then pay them (depending on the length of the trip)
maybe 5 or 10 quetzales -- I think at the time that was about $1.00 - $1.20
USD or so.

My friend and I got in the habit of picking up everyone we saw and dropping
them off at their location; por gratis. Most of them didn't speak Spanish
(this was rural enough that nearly everyone spoke some mayan dialect) so it
was always a bit of a silly experiment trying to explain that I didn't them to
pay.

I like to think that maybe we made a couple people's days and they were able
to put a little more food on their table (or heck, beer in their belly).

More generally, I make a point to pick up hitchhikers when I have time --
which sadly is less and less frequent these days. Even if it's a risky
proposal, I've been on the other side of the equation one too many times in my
life not to try and return the favor.

------
didip
That story reminded me of my life a while back. Hope you guys don't mind me
sharing.

I was in a peculiar situation with regard of my H1-B (this is long time ago)
visa. I was not legal to work, but I was legal to stay. I was in this
situation for more than a year.

I lost everything, literally. I ran out of savings. No programming shops would
take me, not even Chinese restaurants would take me.

Guess who gave me a job? I worked for this mom-and-pop car shop run by Mexican
family. I changed air filters, brake pads, electronic window motors until my
visa resolved itself. They paid $1 above minimum wage, they feed me lunch
(their home-made salsa was delicious) and in return I maintained their Windows
PC.

When my visa resolved, the dad just bought a new warehouse as part of
expanding his business. It was a great year for both of us.

------
bmelton
Perhaps my favorite good act to do is to help people push their car when they
need it. It's dumb, really, but having grown up in the south, people are just
hospitable that way.

It generally doesn't take much to do, it helps traffic, and at least for me,
it makes me feel good about myself. Besides, it always irks me when I see
someone trying to push their car out of traffic and nobody else is helping.
Especially considering the traffic implications around here, when somebody in
the road makes an already bad situation worse.

I've been late because of it, but to date, I've never had anybody hold it
against me that I was late because I helped somebody move a car.

~~~
snth
Once, my car died near an intersection; as I jumped out to push, two guys
appeared out of nowhere alongside me to help push. It took about 15 seconds,
and they waved off my thanks and were gone again. It was shocking how
unexpectedly helpful they were... I tend to expect no help in a situation like
that.

~~~
bmelton
Exactly. It's one of those things that is generally interpreted as generous.
Being nice to people can often back fire; Complimenting the barista on her
earrings might be seen as a come-on. Applauding someone's work ethic is often
seen as sarcasm. It's not something to worry about, generally, but I've
withheld a generous comment before based on how it might have been perceived.

Helping somebody push a car (so long as you don't ask for payment after, or
something) is hard to misinterpret, and has to completely make the recipient's
day.

------
hieronymusN
You can see this in action almost every day in New York City. On a crowded
subway car, if a pregnant woman or very old person gets on the car it is
almost always a Hispanic male who jumps up to offer their seat, even if it
means standing up for the rest of a long commute.

As a middle aged person who grew up in Houston, I can remember having these
basic values (golden rule/help other people) drilled into me by
parents/teachers in the 70's.

Somewhere along the way urban life seems to have washed those values away.

------
ngsayjoe
In Malaysia, many cases where ppl stopped to help but end up having their cars
and money robbed!

~~~
thibaut_barrere
I don't see why you got downvoted: this just happens, too, and it doesn't make
the reddit comment less touching. It's in fact quite related: people
exploiting the natural willingness of other people to help, which in turns
makes people less helpful with others.

It's a classic even in some occidental countries (either that, or requesting
help on malls parking).

This doesn't mean I won't help someone - but I'm definitely careful when I do.

------
jmeyers
I've had a very similar experience, its uncanny. I was in my 20s at the time
and I was trying to fix a charging problem on this old truck I had. I decided
to take it for a test ride to see if the problem is fixed. Of course it isn't
and the battery dies while I am in the middle of an intersection. I have
jumper cables so I pop the hood and I am standing there holding the cables
trying to get someone to stop. I got people flipping me off, honking their
horns, etc, no one stops. A Mexican guy stops, family in the car, pops his
hood and gives me a jump. I didn't get a chance to talk to him because I had
to get the truck out of the road, but I did say thanks. Ever since that
incident I have been paying it forward. I've probably helped dozens of people
since then who were broke down because that guy chose to help me. It's nice to
see there are others out there paying it forward as well.

------
sliverstorm
I try to give rides to hitchhikers when it's especially dark and lonely and
cold out. I ride a motorcycle, and people usually aren't interested in a ride
with no helmet unless it's really dark, lonely and cold.

Used to help people on the side of the road a lot, but a childhood friend was
hit by a truck & killed just recently while helping someone change a flat and
I almost broke my ankle in the dark another night when I pulled over to help,
and couldn't walk right for months. I haven't been pulling over as much since.
:(

On a tangent, things like that ankle injury that really remind me how fragile
we are. There was a while there I thought I had permanently injured it.

~~~
mrcharles
That's the problem in a lot of places. The highway I use most often is the 401
in the greater toronto area -- the busiest highway in north america. Stopping
on the side of the road is extremely dangerous at the best of times, and
walking along it, even worse.

However, I have called 911 on occasion. It always amazes me how few people
call in collisions and accidents. On a recent road trip to the US, I was
travelling North from Indianapolis to Chicago, when I see a huge cloud of dust
appear ahead of me. As I drive towards it, there's a car flipped upside down
in the center ditch. 4-5 cars had already stopped, but I stopped as well, as
fast as I could, and called 911.

I was the first that called, out of nearly 10 people on scene.

Please, people, don't assume someone else has called 911, ever.

~~~
lazyant
People in groups tend to look at each other for signals instead of acting;
this is explained in "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion" by Cialdini.

~~~
pjscott
For people wanting a link, this is called the bystander effect:

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect>

------
mikesabat
This story is touching. If you want to do something worthwhile today, take a
second and call your Senator and tell them to support the dream act. It's a
big issue for all immigrants, not just Mexicans.

The vote is most likely this week and every call counts.

[http://reformimmigrationforamerica.org/blog/make-dream-a-
rea...](http://reformimmigrationforamerica.org/blog/make-dream-a-reality/)

To tie it back to Hacker News, you'll also be using my company's technology to
complete the call.

~~~
lhnn
I don't believe the federal government should be bribing illegal immigrants in
order to increase its size and scope. We don't need a bigger military.

------
T_S_
When I was a teenager in the 70's I used to hitchhike around town whenever I
got tired of waiting for the bus. Hard to imagine today. Invariably the guys
(never a woman) who would pick me up had been in military service, and had to
hitch a ride into town whenever they got base leave. Sympathy requires
understanding, a little wealth can breed ignorance.

~~~
iskander
I still hitch hike when travelling, and a few of my friends do as well. It can
be sometimes difficult to catch rides, so it's best done if you're not in a
rush. The people you meet, however, are usually stellar. I got picked up by a
grandmother, her daugher, and grand-daughter-- who were a fantastically sweet
trio. They gave me apples when they dropped me off! Vietnam vets have also
been common, as well as Mexican workers. An Indian programmer once drove me
100 miles out of his way (I think he was lonely for conversation, which I was
happy to provide).

Hitch hiking has transformed my view of America/Americans and made me really
enthusiastic about my country.

------
tt
Back when I was an intern at IBM in upstate NY, I often drove between Boston
and NY late at night. There was no cars in sight in the early hours of the
night for certain parts of hwy 84 and 684. No cell phones back then either.

I periodically saw people whose cars had broken down on the side of the road,
and stopped each and every time to offer help. One time, I drove a woman and
her young son to a nearby gas station to make phone calls. Another time, I
drove another couple to a nearby town.

It turned out that for one such time, I happened to help the daughter of a
researcher who also worked in the same IBM research lab I was working at. The
next morning, the father looked me up and took me out to coffee to thank me.
That was sweet.

Nowadays, I no longer have to drive late at night, but I still look for the
opportunity to help. It has always brought me peace to know that I can get
someone out of a jam when needed.

------
blhack
If you live in IA, MN, ND etc. (I'm sure other places, but these are the
places I've lived), this story won't seem very out of the ordinary.

Once when I was in college, I flew to Arizona for Thanksgiving, then back to
ND on a Monday to go to class. When I got back, it was one of the worst
snowstorms of the year. It was horrible. The school was closed, the roads
_had_ been closed that night, snow seemed to just be materializing out of
nowhere; it was the type of storm you only experience when you live in the
frozen, frozen north.

Well I hadn't slept more than about an hour on the plane, and driving down a 4
lane sheet of ice with no sleep in a two wheel drive little sporty coupe when
the visibility is measured in numbers of feet that are less than 100 is a
nearly suicidal idea, so I pulled off to the side of the road.

I pulled up the offramp, then back about 50 feet _down_ on-ramp so that the
trucks getting on the freeway wouldn't kill me. I [very, very stupidly] left
the car idling for the heater, set my phone for a 15 minute nap, and went to
sleep.

Halfway through my nap, I hear _BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM_ on the window, which did
more to wake me up than the nap ever could have. It was a girl, probably 17,
who had seen me stopped on the side of the road, and wanted to make sure I was
okay. A high school aged girl that got out of her car in the freezing freezing
cold during a horrible snowstorm to run up to some completely random car on
the side of the freeway and make sure that the driver didn't need a ride.

I've lived in Phoenix for about 5 years now. This sort of thing would never,
ever happen here. In fact, Phoenix has had the opportunity [on several
occasions] to prove me wrong about this, and has failed every single time. One
summer, our family had a boat, and we were out having fun on Lake Pleasant. At
what was probably the worst possible time, which was when we were near 100s of
other boats, the fuel pump gave up on us. Not only did this mean that we were
going to be floating towards the other boats (and the rocks, this lake is made
of all rock), it meant that we didn't have any cell service (this area of the
lake is in a cliff). Our boat, obviously disabled, was floating towards the
other boats. Somebody is waving the orange flag we have around to let them
know we're in trouble, my sisters and I are all in the water with ski ropes
trying to pull the thing to safety and...nobody is helping. People are looking
at us like "What the _hell_ are you doing get out of OUR WAY!"

Disgusting.

We eventually got the motor running (limping, really) and made it out of the
cove and into the main lake-almost-when the fuel pump died again. This time,
we were in a narrow passage between a couple of rock outcroppings. Maybe 50-75
meters wide. Again, orange flag us up, sisters and I are in the water trying
to keep the boat from hitting the rocks and...people are flying past us in the
cigarette boats giving us the finger because we're in their way.

Disgusting.

I like this, "Today you...tomorrow me". A lot. There was a time when some
completely lost kids on their way to a music festival walked past my house as
I was unloading some lumber from the jeep. "HEY! Do you know where Kiwanis
Park is!?"

"Yeah, about 4 miles south of here."

"What, seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously, are you guys going to earth-dance?"

"Yeah."

"Well come over here and help me unload the rest of this wood and I'll give
you a ride."

There was another time when somebody came up to me to ask if I knew the bus
schedule...

"Why? Where are you going?"

"Oh, well...North Phoenix." (about a 40 minute drive from where we were)

"Huh, well I'll make you a deal. If you promise to do something nice for
somebody tomorrow, I'll give you a ride there. Get in."

The latest trend seems to be "rejection therapy". If this helps people, good,
but I _hate_ this. Can we instead please make the next trend "Make somebody's
day every day for 30 days therapy"?

~~~
markng
This sums up why I've had so much culture shock moving from the UK to Phoenix.
People don't get it when I say that selfishness is what really hurts me here,
not the heat or any of the other factors.

That said, it's all of our fault. Every day, in this place, I feel myself
getting a little more like everyone else here. Thanks for reminding me that I
need to do better.

~~~
blhack
There are good people in Phoenix, it's just that the jerks are yelling so _so_
loudly that sometimes it can be hard to hear them.

Out of curiosity, do you go to gangplank? Heatsync?

~~~
markng
Yes, there are, and I've found a bunch of them. I used to go to gangplank
alot, but now I only get there about once or twice a month since I went from
self-employment to normal employment.

I've not been involved in Heatsync other than to see some of the cool things
they do. I was lucky enough to meet a bunch of the founding people on the day
they came into Gangplank 2 to start their collaboration, though.

------
Mz
Having read the story and read a lot of the posts and discussion in this
thread, a few thoughts come to mind:

1) I once had a flat tire that a homeless person offered to change. Yes, he
was hoping to make a few bucks. I was still very ill at the time and
desperately needed to get something to eat. Having him change it meant it got
done faster than if I had tried to call someone, which mattered because every
minute counts when my blood sugar is low. We talked while he worked and I
found out he had been staying in a cheap dive of a hotel and was trying to
come up with enough to sleep there that night instead of the streets. I gave
him $60. I later found out it would have cost less to call someone. I didn't
care. It was worth it to me to get to an eatery a few minutes faster. My blood
sugar was low and I was really in crisis. I had a "middle class" lifestyle but
in some sense was in no less need than the homeless man.

2) I think the whole generosity thing is typical of successful business people
because creating something of value is what makes them successful. "Business
people" who are little more than con artists and are doing their best to
separate you from your money without really creating something of value often
land in jail or just go out of business when folks realize it isn't worth what
they spent. It isn't always obvious in the short run, but in the long run
creating something of real value is the only way to stay in business and make
money. It seems to be counterintuitive to many, yet "pay it forward" and
similar philosophies are rooted in that same idea/value/orientation of doing
something of real value in the world.

3) I tend to live by the idea that if you want to live in a better world, the
best way to make sure you do is roll your sleeves up and get to work on it. So
in some sense, I am generous to other people out of selfishness, though I
can't quite think how to explain that. <shrug>

------
nitrogen
I know it's too late in this article's life for this comment to be read by
many people, but I just wanted to add for the record that I think at least
some of the aversion to helping people comes from the fear mongering of the
media and some parts of the government. When everyone could be a terrorist,
anything out of the ordinary is terrifying.

Fortunately it isn't always like that; for example, when my rear-wheel-drive
car's traction control failed during a blizzard (due to being turned off for a
brief second as a foolish experiment), and I found myself stuck off the side
of a rural road, at least six different people stopped to ask if I needed help
before my tow arrived, one of them even getting out of her car.

------
khkwang
This actually makes much more sense than a rich family stopping. I think its
got to do with our psychology. We support each other because one day we'll
need the support ourselves.

The richer folk see less need in stopping to help because they feel like
they're self sufficient; in other words, if they themselves run into car in
the future, AAA and cash will bail them out.

This more humble family however knew that if something like this occurred to
them, they would definitely appreciate the help. Thus they were more inclined
to stop. So I don't know why people here were so surprised...

Hell, the guy himself states all I just said in four simple words. Still, it
was quite a touching story.

------
adammichaelc
Since moving to Utah, I have never waited more than 5 minutes on the side of
the road for somebody to pull over and help me. It's a different world here;
everybody feels it their duty to help. Very cool stuff. Thanks for the story!

------
ck2
The $15 gas can is exactly why I picked one up for $3 and keep it in the car.

It's been transfered over three cars now and I've never used it but one day
will. Some stations might not even have one to loan. Same thing for jumper
cables (which I've used twice in two decades for myself, and another couple
times to help others).

But there's a 180 degree different perspective here too as a woman, there will
always be a few people who stop, but I rarely trust any of them. This is why I
carry two different kinds of old cellphones in my car (one sprint, one GSM)
since they can still call 911 or I can call AAA on my regular phone.

------
Qz
I've never seen a hitchhiker while driving, but maybe that's because I live in
the middle of Pittsburgh.

~~~
jmeyers
You have to get out of the the city a little bit. The last hitchhiker I picked
up was on Rt 422 north of Pittsburgh. It was cold, dark and raining so I
stopped to pick him up. We got to talking and he told me his story on why he
was hitching. Seems his buddy was having a bachelor party and he wanted to go.
His wife hid the keys and said he couldn't go so he hitchhiked to the party
and back. I dropped him off at his house and I can only imagine the hell he
got from his wife when he got home...

------
cubix
I've backpacked around Mexico a couple of times in the last decade, and I
found the people to be almost universally warm and friendly. One instance that
comes to mind occurred at a bus station. I had just arrived (can't recall
where now), and tried to arrange for a taxi. However, this station had a
system I had not encountered elsewhere in Mexico or any other country: you
have to buy a voucher at a kiosk inside the station and hand that to a driver
outside. Somehow between leaving the kiosk and finding a taxi the voucher
slipped from my hand. I climbed into the taxi and handed the driver the
receipt instead, which I mistook for the voucher itself. The driver was upset
and went to find the station managers.

By this point I had studied Spanish for a couple of years; I was by no means
fluent, but usually knew enough to get by. However, under the stress of the
situation, what ability I did have was completely gone; I started to become
angry, inarticulate and flustered. A small group of employees encircled me and
tried to speak to me in broken English, while I tried to respond in broken
Spanish. After a few minutes, another driver entered the group and announced
he had found the voucher. He easily could have pocketed it and collected the
money as pure profit, but instead turned it in. I was impressed, and relieved.

------
andrewljohnson
This seemed very appropriate for Reddit, and it's a touching story.

I don't quite get the Hacker angle, but maybe I'm missing something.

~~~
marknutter
Get used to seeing more and more of these types of submissions as the HN user
base grows. Digg and Reddit both used to be great sources of tech news, but
are now filled with these sentimental posts, countless memes, and tons of left
wing politics.

~~~
bad_user
You forgot complaints.

------
rick888
A story like this still doesn't make me want to pick up hitchhikers.

I used to live in the metro-Detroit area and there have been at least 3 or 4
cases in the past year where people have been robbed at gunpoint by alleged
hitchhikers. This is what makes me think that this country has gone to hell.

~~~
WiseWeasel
The sources of information you place value in purposely use that narrative in
order to capture your attention long enough to sell their advertising
partners' products. Fear is the most powerful attention mechanism available.

~~~
rick888
"The sources of information you place value in purposely use that narrative in
order to capture your attention long enough to sell their advertising
partners' products. Fear is the most powerful attention mechanism available."

Haha. You mean documented evidence of crime and real people that have been
robbed? You're right. I should just ignore it and chock it up to "fear".

The story linked here tries to get me with sympathy instead of fear. You
shouldn't fall victim either.

~~~
WiseWeasel
What about the three hundred million others that _didn't_ get robbed this
week? You can take precautions, but to let anxiety consume you, or to change
the way you treat people because of these news stories is simply a pitiful
demonstration of weak-mindedness.

~~~
prodigal_erik
The question is how many people in metro Detroit _picked up a hitchhiker_ and
didn't get robbed. The answer is not 300 million. Suppose it's three? That
would make the odds 50:50. Would you still not change the way you treat
people?

------
ADRIANFR
The story is great, but the tile (and supposedly the moral of the story) is
wrong. We should not do good deeds for some expected (or hoped-for)
compensation or reward - on this world, or the other world. We should just do
it.

~~~
euccastro
"Hoy por tí, mañana por mí" is about empathy, not about literally expecting
future reciprocation. In more practical terms, it's a polite way to refuse
being rewarded for something done out of kindness.

------
blr_hack
Man, very rarely do I get water in my eyes!

~~~
stuartk
I'm with you there.

It's not often that so much can be wrapped up in just 4 words.

------
nimms
In wealthier societies, people don't need others as much to get by. They tend
to view others first as competition, and then freeloaders, trying to steal
their hard earned dollar.

In places where there is less material wealth, people need more cooperation to
get by. There's a lot more give for the sake of giving.

I could be wrong though. Thats just my experience.

------
deadmansshoes
The author is in a big jeep and is too tight to call a breakdown service.

When someone does stop he breaks their tire iron, lets them buy a new one,
accepts their food and water, and offers a token $20 dollars as compensation?

Maybe today you, tomorrow me was said with a hint or sarcasm (although in a
daytime TV movie script like this I dount it).

------
xcetera
The uncertainty of tomorrow is really the point. If things are going well
today, why not be generous and lend a hand to someone else today whilst you
can. Things go round and come round, and a good deed one day inevitably
becomes pay back for the good samaritan on the morrow.

------
mildweed
This reminds me directly of the song from the musical Rent: "Today for you,
tomorrow for me".

------
marknutter
I really see no excuse why people don't carry a cell phone with them in their
car. It doesn't even need to be activated, all cell phones call 911 for free.
I don't stop and help people because 99% of the time I see them on their cell
phones.

------
pschlump
I believe that there is a universal law of compensation. You get what you
give. You help somebody - then some time in the future somebody will help you.
This "universal law" is what makes open source work.

~~~
euccastro
I think it's more like you give what you get. Especially in the case of open
source. Altruistic trends are kickstarted by idealistic or exceptionally kind
souls, and then many people join in inspired by the example, or sometimes just
conforming to expectations.

------
tamersalama
Too late - someone already registered the domain. Rightfully pointing to the
story. <http://todayyoutomorrowme.com>

------
Sandman
Seriously, over 1000 points? I don't remember ever seeing any article on
hacker news gather so much karma. Not even those related to, you know...
hacking.

------
jablan
Hell, someone should have put NSFW tag out there! :'(

------
jacquesm
Great story, and a very logical one, immigrants depend on other people
(especially illegal immigrants) to get their troubles resolved so they know
the value of helping others.

We habitually rely on institutions or the government to save our bacon,
something an immigrant likely has no desire for interacting with.

About 5 years ago I planned to visit friends in Texas by car from a little
place called Richards Landing in Ontario. That's a pretty long trip and even
though we had two stops planned it still was going to take a lot of time on
unfamiliar roads, plenty of the driving at night.

Somewhere in Iowa, about 45 minutes past Decorah a deer teleported out of
nowhere in front of the car and we hit it hard enough that the deer was
probably mortally wounded (it _still_ managed to run off!) and the bonnet lock
had crushed all the way in to the valve cover.

The car looked an absolute mess and it didn't look like we were going to reach
our destination.

We limped in to some sleepy town (2:30 am), some gas station right off the
highway wondering what to do next.

Before we could even ask the guy that ran the garage came out and said he's
already called his brother in law and he was underway. We didn't really get
what was going on but since we couldn't really go anywhere we just hung out, 5
minutes later a pick-up rolled in to the gas station with a sleepy looking guy
in it. He jumped out, walked around our minivan, asked if it still moved or of
we needed a tow. The car still ran (but made some pretty scary sounds) so he
told us to follow him.

After a few minutes we got to an industrial area of the small town, he rolled
up a huge garage door and we were welcomed to his car repair service.

In the space of 4 hours he took the front of the car apart, straightened out
the pieces that had taken the brunt of the impact, fixed the valve cover with
some of the most impressive epoxy that I've ever seen, found ways to get each
and every one of the problems the car had to be fixed in a temporary but very
serviceable way.

Little by little the car looked like it was going to be a reliable vehicle
again and at the end the only tell-tales were the dent in the hood and two tie
down straps running across it to hold it down (the lock had gone beyond
repair).

So, when all was done we aked how much we owed him, the answer was simple:
"Nothing. Could have happened to me just the same, and I'm sure you folks
would have helped me out as much as you could too."

Whatever we did he refused payment, so in the end we bade our goodbyes and
continued to Texas, from there to Fort Collins, Colorado and from there back
to Canada, the 'temporary' fixes held as good as could be expected and when we
turned the car in for a proper repair it was in a way a weird feeling because
we'd gotten used to seeing the orange stripes across the hood :)

There are lots of nice people in this world.

~~~
hrabago
That's an amazing story, almost unbelievable. Thanks for sharing.

------
duncancarroll
Pay it forward

------
J3L2404
Pay it forward.

------
colkassad
That's a good story but a little over the top. If the author had dispensed
with the $20 bill in the tamale the suspension of belief would have been a
little more effective.

~~~
heed
I think you're getting downvoted for snarkiness (as perceived by the
downvoter), but there is a point to be made by your comment. That is, how is
automatic disbelief in a story like this any less arbitrary than automatic
belief? It's interesting to me that the majority of users on both reddit and
HN choose to believe.

~~~
vacri
If you haven't encountered people like the ones in the story in your life, you
need to get out more. They're as common as muck - absolutely zero disbelief is
required.

While I don't personally help everyone I've come across, I have done exactly
as in the story, as have many of my friends: helped someone, accepted a reward
to stop them from making a big issue of it, then secretly returned the reward
because it wasn't the point of helping in the first place. Sometimes the most
fun part of the story is the acrobatics required in returning the reward
before you part ways.

Requirement for suspension of disbelief: zero.

------
mynameishere
Whenever I see a comment with 1000s of upmods, I'm usually expecting a good
story, but there was literally nothing there. Lots of people have had car
trouble pal. I mean, there are probably a full million people in the world
right now with car trouble. Why is his anecdote special?

~~~
michael_dorfman
Seriously, did you read the anecdote?

The point isn't the car trouble. The point is that nobody stopped to help
him....except the poor, Mexican family, who had all the best reasons for not
wanting to stop, who refused payment for their help, and then sent him on his
way with a lesson about social responsibility.

~~~
hugh3
It's a bit cheesy for my tastes, though.

~~~
vacri
So ask for a tamale with less cheese.

------
danparsonson
What a great story - I shortened it with v.gd for an IM status message,
thought I'd share the link: <http://v.gd/todayyou>

