
The Science of Passionate Sex - indescions_2017
https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-science-of-passionate-sex/
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wvh
This article feels like it has been written by my wife, telling me I'm a
primitive horny male. I was hoping on a bit more science and less talk about
harmony, wellness, wholesomeness, totality of being and other intangible
concepts. While not bad advice for many, as a straight-forward male, I'm not
sure what to do with advice such as accept your sexuality and be more open.

The most important factor is that both people care for sex to be good, though
I don't agree that both people might be looking for the exact same thing;
being able to give each other what each wants without giving up your own needs
and desires is probably the hard part.

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fundabulousrIII
To be absolutely honest I gave up on the idea of really good sex after 45.
Enjoy your twenties and thirties. If you are in good shape in your 40's and
aren't terribly experienced, ok..you may have some good sex.

My definition of good sex is uninhibited and athletic with a committed
emotional component.

There is a 'spiritual' aspect to sex that I have not experienced much but that
is because it seemed laborious and counter-intuitive.

~~~
srrge
I am 42 and having the best sex of my life with my wife married 16 years ago.
The book The Enlightened Sex Manual [0] is a great ressource on that matter.

TL;DR of the book: ejaculate less often, be more awake during sex.

[0] [https://www.amazon.fr/Enlightened-Sex-Manual-Sexual-
Superior...](https://www.amazon.fr/Enlightened-Sex-Manual-Sexual-
Superior/dp/1591795850)

~~~
fundabulousrIII
If I married a woman 15 years younger than me and then kept the interpersonal
tension high it would probably be great sex when it happened. I don't care for
the drama and the WTF 'gtfo' nights when you are involved at that level.

The whole ejaculate less and be more awake thing I can scarcely contemplate
seriously. If all it comes down to is satisfying your partner while wide eyed
and eager for 'great sex' you are sadly mistaken and won't convince anyone
other than sad sacks looking for formula.

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johnnysnow
There are lots of ways to create a passionate sexual response in the human
animal. [https://hypnosisfetish.com](https://hypnosisfetish.com) [NSFW]

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indescions_2017
Sorry, paywall'd. Will post link to actual paper when available.

Companion article from Scientific American:

The Science of Passionate Sex

[https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-
sci...](https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-science-of-
passionate-sex/)

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phkahler
Is the actual paper available or just the abstract?

~~~
sixhobbits
If you paste the title into SciHub[0] you'll get the PDF

[0] [http://sci-hub.cc/](http://sci-hub.cc/)

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diskandar69
and before we could even care about that person, we have to care about ourself
first :) .. to love ourself first. and I think ways to love ourself, and this
is where it kind of get in full circle: \- surround ourselves with love
(caring people) \- take care of our body, exercise daily and not too over
exercise \- not to over eat \- and have sex with your love one :)

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ahussain
Anyone think we've maybe gone a little too far with the scientific method when
we start seeing headlines like this. (I'm sure the paper itself is very good -
the title just amused me)

~~~
amelius
The real title of the paper is "Understanding the Cognitive and Motivational
Underpinnings of Sexual Passion From a Dualistic Model".

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ryanmarsh
This is like a short ad for NoFap.

Short on details. Should have explained factors that contribute to obsessive
or harmonious sexuality. Not really much one can do with this article.

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noobiemcfoob
Who needs passionate sex when I have my lovely python?

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overcast
Here's the science for you all. The key to passionate sex is actually caring
about the person you're having sex with. Hooking up on Tinder isn't going to
give you that.

~~~
root_axis
Maybe _you 're_ not capable of a passionate hookup, but you're fooling
yourself if you don't realize that people have very passionate sex from
hookups all the time. In fact, the excitement of a strong mutual sexual
attraction to a new person can heighten the sexual passion.

~~~
FLUX-YOU
Some people might not understand this because it's better explained by simply
experiencing it. It's an equally valid mindset just as the article's mindset,
and just as equally valid as not having sex until marriage if that's what you
choose. It's also very similar to fetishes -- experiencing it is just too
different from watching videos or demos.

