
Ask HN: Should I move? - shouldimove
Hey Guys,<p>I recently got an offer from Amazon to be an SDM in their Seattle office. The problem is, I have to move my family across the country for this. When I talk to my friends and family, they say I shouldn&#x27;t pass up this opportunity given how difficult it is to get into Amazon. The few things that worry me about the move is.<p>1. My wife has a great gig in my current location, so I really don&#x27;t want to disrupt it until it makes sense for both of us in the longer term
2. Will I survive in Amazon? In all likelihood, it would seem like I will have to stay away from my family for at least 6 months. Just to make sure Amazon&#x2F;Seattle is a place worth moving to. The notion of staying away from my family (wife, toddler (not in school yet) and a dog) really pains me. But on the flipside, if I do make it in Amazon, it does open up greater opportunities for me (in Amazon and other high tech companies in the neighbourhood) which will help me secure my family&#x27;s future.<p>So question to fellow HNers...should I take the plunge? Love to hear more from working couples who have done this with Amazon in the past. I am really confused by all this, so any suggestions is appreciated.
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mswen
I first became convinced that Silicon Valley or Boston would be better for my
career and opportunities to secure funding for new applications of technology
back in 2000. And, yet precisely because of family roots and a rich social
network and schools we never moved.

I worked for Boston firms for several years without moving there. I negotiated
the remote work option and while it preserved my family goals ... when the
recession of 2008 hit hard and jobs got eliminated mine was one of the first
on the chopping block even though I was sitting on a consistent set of
promotions and raises. I am convinced that distance and diminished face time
with key executives meant that it was easier to choose my job as one to
eliminate.

I made these decisions to stay where I was geographically for family reasons
and my wife's career at the time wasn't particularly germane because she had
already quit work to spend some years FT focused on raising our children. If
she had been more actively building her own career and had a really great job
that would have just reinforced the decision to stay-put.

I don't have any experience with Amazon as a workplace but I am sure you have
read online discussions, news articles about their culture and asked around
your circle. My own impression of Amazon would be that it would be a very
risky thing to uproot your family to follow that job. At the very least I
endorse your thought of spending 6 months to a full year to see whether it is
a good fit prior to moving your family.

You and your wife also need a really honest heart-to-heart about her feelings
about potentially giving up a "great gig" and the likelihood that she can find
something comparable in Seattle.

Decision making under uncertainty is a hallmark of human life. Without knowing
a lot more about your situation I can't really offer more than empathy.

~~~
shouldimove
Thanks for the reply mswen. The big potential deal breakers for me are my
wife's career (she is pretty well settled in a FT gig at a major financial
firm), potential of loosing out on upwards mobility in my current gig (my
current boss has already started asking me if I am interested in a Director
level manager role here) and the fact that I will not be able to spend more
time with my family for at least an year if I do move. The only thing tugging
me in the opposite direction is the opportunity to work in a high-tech company
with massively complex problems that will probably not be easy to come around
that easily. Although...everyone around me is telling me that if I was able to
get through Amazon once, I will be able to get into Amazon or some other high
tech firm in the future. So far, I am leaning towards not moving with the job.
Amazon does have another office in the location I am in right now, so I might
just refuse the Seattle offer and ask them if they can match me to some team
in the local office. Lets see...

Thanks again for the reply mswen.

~~~
mswen
You are welcome. The fact that you are seeing signs of upward mobility at your
current gig along with your wife's career suggest even more that you should
stay the course.

In 5 years - after you have been a director for 3 or 4 years and growing in
proven ability to manage there should be even more opportunities to transition
to a tech company with the larger scale challenges. Though one issue with
getting promoted is whether you can keep your technical edge even while adding
the managerial skill-set.

Take joy that you are faced with choosing the "best" path among multiple good
paths. All the best to you and your family as you decide.

~~~
shouldimove
Thanks again mswen

