

Ask HN: I need help with a career decision - ldlkfc

Dear HN,<p>I am a mid level software engineer and I enjoy my job and working with the team. I've always tried to work hard and help the team in any way I can and never say no to anyone that ask me for help no matter how busy I am. As a result of this I have made great relationship with the team, some juniors would look up to me, and my supervisors would give me good ratings on my performance reviews, on both technical skills and team responsibilities, and they have commented that I'm already working at the senior level, and thank me for my efforts.<p>Things start to change when I have a new supervisor, he dislikes my personality (he thinks I'm quiet, which previous supervisors and team members never had problems with), and thinks I am not committed to the team because of this and other actions of mine that he doesn't like (could be something as little as me not going to the office lunch). We have been through a few talks about this, despite whatever I said, he's not convinced. I feel like he's trying to change me into someone else, and the message I am getting is I won't get a promotion if I don't change, regardless of my abilities. He's actually a friendly person and he's good at what he does and I have respect for that. But it's not working for us because he has a vision of what a good team should behave like, and it was clear to me that he doesn't want a personality like mine in that perfect vision. We don't have the trust that I have with other team mates. And I'll never change any of my team mates. There is also a chance that he won't be my supervisor anymore in a few months time.<p>I have also received a job offer from another company. The offer is already above my current pay, but I'm not sure if it's a good enough offer for me to leave my current  team mates (my friends), and they are the reason that I go to work everyday. I'm not sure if I should give up all that and go to a strange company.<p>So what should I do? Any advice will be appreciated.<p>Thanks.
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brudgers
I am not sure that the new boss dislikes your personality. Maybe he just sees
a higher ceiling for you and wants to help you get there. Or needs you to get
there.

That said, he currently may no more have the tools to communicate effectively
to you, than you have to act in the way he sees you capable of. Managers learn
on the job by paying the dumbtax, just like everyone else.

The real choice I see you facing, is one of trusting him to have good intent.
Doing so, however, will require abandoning a hope of convincing him that you
cannot change, and instead listening and asking questions and working on
becoming a better leader...together, he probably needs it too.

Eating together is important in some corporate cultures. It sounds to me like
the new boss may be trying to build a better culture for everyone, not just
for you.

Lastly, taking a risk and putting some trust in the new boss, does not look
like it will cost you much, you've got another job offer now, you can probably
get one again - and maybe that one _will_ be your dream job. Give it a chance,
what have you got to lose?

Good luck.

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jt2190
Let's review. You say:

    
    
      * great relationship with the team, some juniors would 
        look up to me
      * my supervisors would give me good ratings on my
        performance reviews, on both technical skills and 
        team responsibilities
      * they have commented that I'm already working at 
        the senior level
    

Excellent! You're exhibiting leadership qualities. To continue:

    
    
      * he thinks I'm quiet
      * not committed to the team (i.e. me not going to the 
        office lunch
    

Based on these criticisms, it seems like your new boss sees you as a potential
team leader, and with some work, you could get a promotion.

The career question you must answer for yourself is: Do I want to work on
smaller software projects that I control directly or do I want to work on
larger software projects where I do some of the work but delegate a large
portion to other developers? That is the choice you're making if you decide to
work toward a leadership role. And just like programming requires excellent
technical skills, leadership requires excellent people skills.

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ceautery
"The offer is already above my current pay,"

Take it. And learn how to talk to people, as that will net you more pay over
your lifetime than any other skill you build. Your current boss understands
that, and is ultimately trying to help you.

Make the job decisions that will net you more pay, and build friendships
outside of the office. If your current teammates are really your friends, they
should still be after you move on to seek more money.

------
deepak-kumar
Change is inevitable. So if you are not liking the environment in your current
job it is always better to move on and focus on improving the skill set rather
than thinking about what your immediate super wiser thinks about you.

As far as your friends/Team mates are concerned they ll remain your friend no
matter which company you work for. All the best.

