
Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment? - systemshutdown
Just wondering if anyone here stammers or suffers from another form of speech impediment.<p>Does it affect your performance or limit your capabilities at work?  How do you handle meeting or conference calls? Or &lt;dread&gt; presentations?<p>On the flips side, do you work with anyone that does?
======
yesenadam
As a kid I had a stutter, sometimes it still emerges now when talking
passionately about something, and a few other situations. But gee I hated
speaking in front of the class at school. Didn't seem fair I had to do it! But
I never talked to anyone about my problem, which I'd do in 2 seconds if I
lived that over again. (Same with bullying) I think maybe it was to do with
very low self-esteem. And I was very shy, self-conscious.

Something that comes to mind is a story I heard about George Clooney - in the
beginning he was having no luck at auditions. So he decided to switch from a
mentality of "Please help _me_ , please give me what I want" to "I'm here
because I have something unique to offer _you_ and the production", which made
all the difference. I think that would work in many difficult situations for
stuttering and fear of public speaking. One time I had to talk in front of the
class about my long holiday in Europe, it wasn't a problem. (Except when my
throat cracked after speaking for so long! hehe.) Because I was the one with
something to offer them, I guess.

Mainly, get some expert help, read books about it. Watch _The King 's Speech_.
Cause it is unpleasant, for you and others. More commonly I hear in people's
speech what seems undiagnosed dyslexia - a combination of mixing terms, using
wrong words, not being able to pronounce words.

------
000000000000001
Stuttering and stammering since childhood. Went to a speech therapist when I
was a teenager and it did help a bit, but it hasn't gone out completely. I
still do it multiple times a day. As others have pointed out, phone calls,
interviews and presentations are the worst. It was a huge psychological block
when growing up, especially talking to girls.

What worked for me was that I read a lot. And it opened my mind. I realized
that if you are good at something, and if you can excel at it and provide
something of value to someone, you are going to do well in life. Also I
realized that due to my speech problems, there are somethings that I may never
be able to become or achieve, like a smooth talker. So I decided pretty early
on, that I need to focus on my strengths and make them so awesome that my
limitations are overshadowed by them.

Since I can't talk much without stuttering or stammering, I keep quiet most of
the times. This has mostly led people around me to believe that I am a
reticent guy who keeps his focus on the work before him. Another thing that I
do is not open my mouth until I have something really concrete to say. The
argument that I am going to put out, is par often well thought out, so that I
don't have get into a talking situation with someone.

Even taking interviews is a tough task.

All in all, it hasn't turned out as bad as I thought. Life is still good. :)

~~~
systemshutdown
Now that I think about it, I too try to compensate by focusing on areas that I
am strong in or excel at. I'll put in extra effort and try to take the
initiative on projects. This has earned me a promotion, however I feel that
I've basically hit a ceiling due to my speech blocking.

Thanks for sharing.

------
throwawat870809
I do. It is something called Pseudo Foreign Dialect [1], iirc. I basically
have accent in every language I speak including native.

As an immigrant in the US, I don't find this affects me much. A lot of people
just assume this is my accent, though some wonder why my accent is not same as
others from my native country.

Growing up in my country, it was a bit rough, people including grownups &
teachers loved to point out that I sounded funny. Sometimes, it was worse. I
can guess it would have impacted my confidence & career significantly if I was
professional back home.

I love it that people are more polite in the West especially in the US.
Sometimes people have difficulty understanding me and they are very apologetic
about it.

I try to speak slower and louder in business especially on phone. I might
slightly exaggerate pronunciations. And if I see confused look on a listener's
face, I would pre-emptively apologize for my accent and repeat or spell out
the word. I find this is better for conversation than being defensive about my
accent.

I have fear of public speaking but I am slowly working to overcome it. If I
have to do presentation, I just slow down a lot, take a lot of breaks in
between sentences to let audience process a new strange accent. Usually, my
presentations are with my coworkers, so they are used to my accent.

If I was in sales or public facing position than it might have impacted me
more. I am lucky to be a programmer.

Also I worked with someone stutter a lot. Everyone was super nice, and they
would let him finish talking. If arguments started and he didn't get a chance
to say much, my manager would step in and ask him direct question if he had
anything to add.

[1]:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysprosody](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysprosody)

~~~
cordite
I’m not sure what to consider this, but after a few sentences I start
pronouncing things in ways similar to the accent of the other person. Like
pronouncing “touched” as “tutch-ed” instead of “tutch’d”.

------
ryantbrown
I have had a blocking stutter (disfluency) since the 3rd grade. Went through
several years of speech therapy and as I have gotten older it has improved to
the point that most people can't tell. I still have daily issues with it but
have learned to mask it pretty well (switching to a different word when I
block, pausing naturally when not blocking, etc.)

I definitely think it has had an impact on my personal and professional life,
to what degree I am not sure. I try to avoid giving group presentations or
talking on conference calls when I don't have to.

It has never cost me a job or prevented me from being successful as a
developer (CTO now) but it is constantly on my mind and makes trivial
situations more complicated. I have learned over the years that a lot of it is
in my head, and most people will never know, but it still affects how I
conduct myself on a daily basis.

If you do suffer from blocking I recommend always trying to be prepared for
any speaking situations you might be in. Do your best to stay relaxed (face,
mouth, lips), speak slowly and consistently, taking normal breaks regularly so
that any blocks don't seem out of place. The best therapy is really just
practicing speaking blocking words aloud by yourself or with a partner/friend.

------
dfinninger
I have a mild stutter, I generally just call it a "vocal catch" because it's
usually getting stuck and not being able to produce a sound instead of
repeating a syllable. Usually only happens a couple times a day during normal
conversation. More so when emotional.

IM is awesome. Very glad that's a thing.

I have a penchant for looking up a new word's synonyms. Which usually results
in having a couple of "escape hatches" if I feel myself getting caught up.
Sometimes, however, that's not the case and I just have to accept that I'm
getting tripped up. At that point I'll audibly sigh, which usually un-sticks
me enough to proceed.

When I give presentations, they are usually to my team. I've explained to
everyone and they are understanding (I also asked them to not fill in the word
they think I'm trying to say). There's mutual respect and they all patiently
wait when it happens. Having that understanding really reduces the stress and
makes presenting not painful.

~~~
Humdeee
I am the same way. Also have a mild stutter since childhood. I have found over
the years that pausing mid sentence for just a second will bring back that
natural flow. I've never been questioned on it for years, and don't believe it
sounds awkward, which is really all I care about. And yes, I will also
substitute words if I can predict that they'll get me. It's quite easy to tell
when it's coming.

I am still a very confident person in social situations. It doesn't affect my
normal adult life. In middle school it was an issue, but I've learned to
control it as I got older.

Reflecting on it now, I stutter more often when I'm with people I'm most
comfortable with. Family especially, close friends, girlfriend, etc. Perhaps
because my 'speech guard' is completely down. But really isn't much at all, if
any.

Interviewing for the current job I have now taught me a lesson in humility. I
was speaking fast, my brain was racing and it brought out the worst I've
spoken in a long time. I was embarrassed because I just couldn't seem to
recover, but determined not to show it. I apologized, regardless. Staying calm
and collected has always been the key for me.

------
DoubleGlazing
I grew up with a Rhotacism, I pronounced my Rs like Ws.

For me the biggest issue was bullying. My first name is Robert, so I became
known as Wobert. What also didn't help was that I was born in England and
moved to Northern Ireland in the mid-80s. My non-rhotic English accent made me
a target for bullying like you wouldn't believe.

I spent my teenage years working on fixing it by myself. Just sitting
practicing my speech. Eventually I lost my English accent and sort-of fixed my
rhotacism. I say sort-of my Rs sound like Rs, but they ae very flat and I
can't roll them at all.

Occasionally I'll mispronounce an R as a W, but usually that only happens when
I'm tired or very distracted.

~~~
yesenadam
I'm sure you'll find this fascinating -

Tom Scott - _Why Jonathan Ross Can 't Pronounce His Rs_

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld3A3QCpXd4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld3A3QCpXd4)

------
MR_FEET
I am a nervous speaker and can't string together thoughts and ideas
effectively. I usually end up stammering while i search for words with which
to express myself. It can be torturous when I am put on the spot. It's not an
impediment in the sense of a medical condition, but it definitely impedes.

~~~
Double_a_92
I also have something similar. I have to think for a while before I can output
what I'm thinking as words.

It's like having to translate it first from some foreign language... Maybe
that's why I was always the "smart kid"? I managed to decouple my thinking
process from any kind of language? ._.

------
shakna
I have Wernicke's aphasia. It's a symptom of something larger, which gets in
the way of work more, but the aphasia is difficult.

It makes processing questions difficult, so with presentations I may have to
suddenly end when I realise I can't understand what is being asked.

Talking for long periods is also an issue, as my brain will start issuing
words that are only vaguely related to what I think I'm saying.

I've usually worked around it by having a junior dev I'm mentoring accompany
me to take over when it happens.

------
nodesocket
I stutter, sometimes really bad. I've written about it at
[https://justink.svbtle.com/being-a-founder-with-a-speech-
imp...](https://justink.svbtle.com/being-a-founder-with-a-speech-impediment).

I'm a single and multiple startup founder. When I was trying to raise capital
for one of my companies it was certainly an impediment and felt like I
squandered multiple meetings (investors, VC's, business opportunities)
sometimes only getting a few complete sentences out.

Phone and virtual meetings are worse for me, so whenever possible I try to
always meet in person. Stress and anxiety makes my stuttering worse. Strangely
I've also found my stuttering seems to have seasons. Certain times that tend
to get worse.

I'm pretty sure Elon Musk has a stammer/stutter but it's gotten way better
probably with such public practice and working with a speech therapist since
he has unlimited funds to spend on improvement.

There have been some great threads on stuttering here on HN:

\- How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons
([https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14949950](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14949950))

\- Being a single founder with a speech impediment (my own post)
([https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7649325](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7649325))

Hit me up, my contact info in my HN profile. Interested to chat, and hear what
you are working on.

------
lukaslalinsky
I stutter, it ranges from almost unnoticeable to horrible, depending on the
situation.

I think it does not limit my performance or capabilities, definitely not as
much as I was fearing when growing up. There are times when I can't explain
clearly what I need, but it's not a big problem, there are other ways. I have
no problem with meetings in person, but despite learning to overcome this my
entire life, I still hate conference calls.

The general rule for dealing with it is "not giving a damn". It helps you
mentally and improves the stuttering at the same time. Programming is a
technical work, you don't need to say much and when you do, it's typically in
between close team, so that helps. And if you have something important to say,
people will take the time to understand you.

The only problem I have experienced are interviews. I make a very bad first
impression and usually the rest of the interview is based on that.

------
kMitnick18
I'm a stutterer and English is my second language so I get even more nervous
when trying to speak, it does affect my work because I can't really
communicate what I'm trying to say without going back to a whiteboard
explaining a programming concept or something so I usually resorts to not
saying anything even when I know what other people are saying is bs.

I dread making or taking phone calls and even though I'm confident on my
programming knowledge the anxiety prevents me from looking for another job
where I can be making what I think I'm worth, on the flip side I would like to
be a salesman talking to people all day and not having a desk job but my
anxiety prevents me from doing so, anxiety worsen my stutter which in turns
makes me more anxious ( a never ending cycle)

~~~
systemshutdown
Thank you for sharing, I totally understand and know what that feels like. I
have a bad stammer which causes me to block of any word I want to say when I'm
feeling nervous.

I get nervous anticipating any form of public speaking outside of a small
group people that I feel comfortable with.

Fortunately, my team mostly uses slack for intra department communication but
slack can't be used for everything. The worst for me are round table meetings
where participation is mandatory, i.e going around and taking turns to
introduce yourself, or conference calls with new people.

------
lithos
Field Tech for data center equipment.

If I stumble on a word more than twice I just use a synonym, or a description.
Get some smiles in meeting crowds, but no one really cares. It can even be a
helpful "calm everyone down" thing, since people can really get stressed out.

------
MortenToudahl
I'm not sure this could be classified as a speech impediment.

But once in a while I will accidentally use the wrong word. E.g. saying blue
instead of red.

Or I might change my mind mid word on what to say, and just start saying that
mid word, and gibberish comes out. It's not a conscious thing, it just
happens.

The only thing that bothers me, is that I swap out words. It is not always I
notice, which could lead to misunderstandings that I won't be able to correct
unless someone asks me to confirm what I meant.

Talking gibberish is not an issue, as I notice right away and will be able to
repeat what I actually wanted to say.

I don't act differently because of it, and I do enjoy presenting

------
throw_speech
I have Ankyloglossia. It doesn't affect my job performance as a lot of
communication is in email / Slack / Github anyway. I do find I have to make
more of an effort to speak clearly.

When I don't make an effort, my words aren't pronounced as well as they should
and people have to ask me to repeat what I said (or intended to say).

My job doesn't involve phone calls or presentations so there fortunately isn't
a need to speak for a long period of time.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ankyloglossia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ankyloglossia)

------
pattle
I've had a stammer since childhood, I'm a covert stammerer so I try my best to
hide it and substitute words that I know I'm going to stammer / block on, most
people probably don't realise that I have a stammer. I think it started when I
was transitioning from primary school to middle school which was a very
stressful and daunting time.

Throughout my life my speech has gone up and down. Mainly the quality of my
speech has a positive correlation with how comfortable / confident I'm
feeling.

I've had speech therapy in the past and learnt techniques that help a lot but
it only really works if you're prepared to spend a large chunk of your day
practising and preparing for speaking situations.

Any kind of stammer has a massive impact on your life because you can't
express yourself and be the person you really are. I feel like the impact
hasn't been as great in my professional life because in most programming jobs
your performance is primarily based on the quality of your code. However I
should probably be a bit further up the career ladder, I have the knowledge
but not the communication skills.

I feel a great deal of shame / embarrassment / frustration as a stammer but
having said that everyone has problems in their life and I'm thankful and
grateful that I've got good health.

To anyone reading this and those that have already commented, please don't
hesitate to contact me - my details are on my HN profile.

------
mccoure
I've been stuttering since a child and still do so . Therapy as a kid did help
me a little bit but I know its never going to go away . I'm not going to get
into how speaking to girls/taking calls and presentations is not only
difficult but also crippling especially when you see the person you address
run out of patience and complete the sentence for you . Its affected me a lot
and I dont think I'll ever be able to get over the social anxiety . So i
started compensating by throwing myself into books and music as an escape
mechanism . When that didnt help much I started drinking heavily and doing
drugs . I still do drugs and drink to avoid the embaressemnt around my speech
impediment and the fact that I dont stutter when I speak , but not as heavily
as I used to . I've just stopped caring what people think at this point in
time and still give conference talks and take interviews

~~~
mccoure
What i would be interested in knowing from people who have been stuttering for
years now is how they deal with it on a daily basis apart from not giving a
damn

------
88e282102ae2e5b
There's a guy at my work who has a mild stutter. He starts every talk out with
something like "My name's such and such, I have a mild stutter so don't let
that bother you" and then immediately starts his talk and never mentions the
stutter again. It's a smooth and quick transition, but most importantly he
actually gives good talks - tells jokes, is passionate and knowledgeable, has
informative and clear slides, and really makes it easy to understand his data.

The thing is, most talks are garbage. The audience really is rooting for you,
because they're just desperate to hear _anything_ interesting or see a slide
that isn't just bullet-pointed text.

------
twunde
Not tech related, but I had a history teacher in high school with a stammer.
He lectured/led discussions even though he had a stammer and was probably the
favorite teacher of students in the entire school. I think he may now be a
head of a different school. I don't think his path was easy and I know he was
discouraged from teaching early on, but a speech impediment shouldn't stop you
from anything you want to do.

On a practical note, it's offen best to do the most painful things often. You
may want to consider joining a local toastmasters club and doing talks once a
month. One you're used to doing that, running meetings won't be so scary

------
pbhowmic
My son, 8, has dysfluency & stuttering. My daughter, 5, too has speech
development issues, dysfluency being one. I worry what the future holds for
them. Already, it manifests itself as social isolation, especially for my son.

~~~
ryantbrown
Are your children in speech therapy? If not, I highly recommend having them
see a professional at least once a week.

One of the other things that really helped me when I was younger was being
active in sports. When playing sports you don't have to talk, you just run
around and play. It also helps to develop friendships, friends that won't care
about any disfluency.

Another thing is practice, kids who stutter are extremely terrified of giving
speeches in front of other kids (eg. oral presentations). Do your best to know
if they having any speaking commitments coming up and help them prepare by
practicing with them. If can make a huge difference. You can try to identify
where they might trip up and help them work through it. I can tell you from
experience that knowing exactly what you are going to say makes it less likely
that you will stutter / block.

The last thing is to actually alter your speech around them, speak slowly and
consistently while pausing naturally to show them that it is perfectly normal
and even preferred to speaking quickly and getting mixed up.

------
DoofusOfDeath
When I'm tired, I sometimes jumble the word order in my sentences while
speaking.

I didn't have this until middle age, so I was scared about some kind of acute
cognitive decline.

Seems to go away whenever I get back to healthy sleep patterns.

------
nicksalt
Morgan Housel from Collaborative fund has dealt with it his whole life.

he wrote a whole piece that was amazing and very motivating about his
continuous battle:

[http://www.collaborativefund.com/blog/overcoming-your-
demons...](http://www.collaborativefund.com/blog/overcoming-your-demons/)

you can find him on twitter @morganhousel

rock on mate.... the world is our oyster and we each have a unique view on it
:)

------
drdeadringer
I'll split this into parts per your various questions.

=-0-=-0-=

> Anyone here have a Speech Impediment?

In early public grade school [1st-4th grade after being first noticed during
Kindergarten] I had to go to the school's speech therapist; I had a speech
stutter plus a mild lisp against the sound "sh" as in "shut up", a worst lisp
against the sound "ch" as in "chimney", and a medium lisp against pronouncing
the letter "h" as in "e-f-g-H-i-j" not the actual sound as in "Hairy Henry".

Naturally, I hated being pulled out of class x3 a week for the speech therapy;
it just screamed "Hey that kid's SPED" ("SPecial EDucation") and I knew it,
and I also knew it wasn't doing me any favors on making friends [the prospect
of bullying for "not talking right" be damned, that just wasn't a concern for
me then against actual social interaction and social familiarity being time-
limited -- don't ask my how I understood this so early on, I just did]. When I
switched schools in the middle of 4th grade, I still had to go to the speech
therapy but then also the "catch-up sessions" for "being academically behind"
too, so now I was forced to double-down on being pulled out of class. Not
Good, as now I'm "Double SPED". I had to get out of that crap and the sooner
the better; I had to Be Normal [which became a Life Goal, as rational or
irrational as you need that to be], especially as the New Kid who just
switched schools in the middle of the bloody school year.

Before that school year ended, fortunately, I managed to talk my way out of
continuing the speech therapy by explaining this "SPED Stigma" to the
teachers, parents, and speech therapist involved [I realized the pun of
phrasing it this way only 2-3 years ago, and decided to keep it for the
telling here]. I got to skip the speech therapy for the rest of time and
agreed to just grit my teeth through the Catch-Up sessions until summer came.
Luckily enough I had "caught up enough" to be treated as a normal student from
5th grade onward. My stutter was an occasional treat instead of an Always
Thing, and the "sh//ch//h" pronunciation issues were just what they were gonna
be at that point with no additional helping to be had.

By University it was clear to me that my stutter was going to manifest itself
when I was overly nervous, overly excited, or mentally impaired [e.g.
migraines, booze]. That's fine, no one cared or cares. For the pronunciations,
guess what? One single person since 4th grade asked if I "had a lisp" and
simply because he was honestly curious and we were cool at the time; if anyone
else has ever noticed, they've kept their mouth shut to my face so that's all
whatever on that front.

I bought a copy of "The King's Speech" after seeing it in theater. The scene
with the record-player and headphones in the therapist's office, and the
climactic scene with the globally national radio address, are touching.

Last year I went to a ComicCon and quite randomly got an autograph from Matt
Frewer... AKA Max Headroom. I mentioned that my olde speech therapist from
grade school mentioned his character numerous times in attempts to get me to
be comfortable and at-least be less self-conscious, and he mentioned how
whatever the national "speech therapist stutterers association of America"
group at the time kept calling in to the show with good will. He also gave an
obligatory compliment toward how I spoke, which I of course very much
appreciated. Yes, I promptly framed the autographed Max Headroom picture with
no regrets.

> What about your work, phone calls, and The Dread Pirate Presentations?

My work isn't negatively influenced. Sure, I get nervous during presentations
I have to give, but since I'm aware of my own stutter whilst nervous I add in
the pauses and other mental gymnastics that can help my speech; I still get
error but I'm ok with that for now. Still, no one cares enough to mention; I'm
still not a card-carrying member of Toast Masters, but I do listen to The
Moth.

I've never had problems with conference calls or meetings; sure I'll double-up
on stuff like "... what, what about XYZ?" or "But that's, what's that gonna do
about ABC?", but that's normal enough conversationalist phrasing to not blip
on most people's radar and no one's said anything to my face about it.

=-0-=-0-=

> Work with people with speech issues?

I knowingly have not as far as my memory is concerned, but a few years ago I
did interview at a place where one of the higher-ups who interviewed me did
have a severe stutter. "Stage 4", honestly speaking.

Obviously I was sympathetic and patient -- because of my above history, not
necessarily because I was the on the short end of the power dynamic -- and
asked for clarification on anything I just couldn't understand from his
stutter as if he had had a very heavy accent instead. He seemed used to such
interaction and took it in stride. I still felt uncomfortable, a lot of it due
to my sympathy and empathy for him; we both had no illusions about what was
going on -- there's a severe stutter here, he's clearly making an effort to
being understood, I'm clearly making an effort to understand, so let's do this
-- but since I was on the short end of the power dynamic I didn't want to play
the "I just can't understand you" card every two minutes [yes I needed
clarification at that frequency at a minimum if not sooner it was that bad].

Note: I wasn't provided an offer for that gig but it had nothing to do with
this guy's stutter or my opposing behavior toward it; this was simply a Bad
Fit all around and I have little regret over it.

The "good news" here is that at this company there's a higher up who has a
severe stutter; people clearly have the patience [or tolerance, or
professionalism, or whatever thesaurus equivalent you want to use] to have
this guy around creating value.

------
sidcool
Yep. Stutter and stammer since childhood. It does cause people not taking me
seriously. It's lesser in intensity though.

------
interatx
I work with someone who stutters here and there. He is very upfront about it.
I have not cared about it ever since but it did give help me figure out how to
have better conversations with him.

