
Ask HN: How to build confidence without being arrogant? - throwaway557
In meetings where we are discussing solutions, I often feel that 3-4 solutions are perfectly fine with their trade-offs. Most of my colleagues engage in heated exchanges, arguing about the &quot;one true solution&quot;.<p>This makes them look &quot;passionate&quot; and management seems to like it. On the other hand, I&#x27;ve been told I should be more of that.<p>I do care about my work but I hate disagreements for less critical reasons. Can anyone relate?
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tboyd47
Your problem is not that you lack confidence. Your problem is that you aren't
interested in B.S. contests.

Unfortunately these contests are often how managers discern the natural
leaders of a team and you are probably feeling the urge to prove yourself in
some way.

The good thing is that there are a million ways to earn some kind of
distinction on a technical team. In an argument or competition, there can only
be one winner. But engineering is a business and business is cooperative. If
you show clear superiority in an area, then others on your team must follow
your lead in that area.

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megamindbrian2
My boss did this great trick to assert his domination over all opinions.
Basically every time someone tries to speak interrupt them just as they start
to speak.

