

Ask HN: Only good at jumping through hoops. How to 'start-up' my life? - 6064cc

--TLDR: I've only got to where I am by comparing myself to others, and chasing the proverbial carrot on a stick. I've always been independently minded, but I suck at anything that's not assigned to me by someone. How can I start achieving the goals I set for myself?--<p>I'm in my mid-20's and I've realized I only excel at tasks that are assigned to me by others. Whether its school, work, or fitness trainer, I can bust my ass, and be successful in this type of environment. I can even make myself do things I find boring, mundane, and exhaustive. The motivation comes from not disappointing others, fear of being judged, and sadly, comparing myself to others.<p>However, I've seen people here and elsewhere who are completely self-directed, autodidactic, and incredibly self-disciplined. Usually they are the type that don't go to class, because they can learn in their own time. They teach themselves a new language, pick up new skills and activities apparently effortlessly. They run side-businesses, and are generating passive income through various ventures. And they all seem to be great amateur photographers. No one tells them to do these things - they just go out and do it.<p>Their motivation seems to be the opposite of mine: They work only on interesting things, but they also have a perspective that makes everything seem more interesting. I'm sure they also need to work on things that are boring, mundane, and exhaustive, but its usually at a junction to get to something they find even more interesting afterwards. Most importantly, they have the prescience and confidence to forego short-term success for long-term success. They don't see life as some sort of competition with their peers or any of that nonsense.<p>I admire these people to no end. I never skipped class, even if I know the material is easy and I can teach myself faster, because I also know I'd never open the book on my own volition. Even if its stuff I find interesting. I just procrastinate to no end.<p>How can I start moving in the direction of these people? Any goals that I set for myself end up failing. Either because I don't structure them properly or because there is no immediate reward/punishment as feedback.<p>I have many goals for myself, including starting a company, that can only be obtained by self-discipline and self-direction. But I know if I don't change, and learn to do things without some hand holding, I won't be able to achieve them.<p>If it matters any, I come from working class family and grew up with the idea of "doing what your told" seems like the safe way to be 'successful'. I've realized money beyond a certain point won't do anything for me, and if all I have is my 9-5 job, I'm not going to be happy. But doing a 9-5 is all I have trained myself for up to this point.
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pedalpete
Your post is very interesting to me, as I'm currently examining a project to
address a similar issues.

I'm curious. Do you find that you have trouble finding goals on your own which
are worth pursuing? Or is it more of an issue that you just don't seem to have
take the actions necessary in pursuing a goal?

I saw a clip from the founder of Patagonia (climbing gear and outerwear) who
said that when he has an idea, he takes the first step toward his goal. If
that feels good, he takes another step. Before you know it, you've summited
the mountain.

If motivation is your issue, have you checked out Daniel Pink's work?
<http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation.html>

