
“Positive thinking” has turned happiness into a duty and a burden - rohmanhakim
https://qz.com/924103/happiness-has-become-an-emotional-burden-says-a-danish-psychologist-svend-brinkmann/
======
Starknaked
I believe the worst part of this is society seems to be built around hiding
anything other than positive emotions. People bottle up their feelings instead
of expressing them because that is how we've been raised to behave. Like how
many men express mostly anger because it seems to be the only consistently
socially acceptable emotion even though it is the most destructive.

The more freedom and comfort everyone felt to express themselves honestly then
the less build up of emotional pressure there is to release when they do. This
means people feeling more emotionally content. It's like when someone is sad
and crying people think the best way to help is to cheer them up and stop them
feeling sad but all they're doing is stopping them from expressing that
sadness which makes it worse.

I did a therapy course which was CBT with horses and it was a real eye opener
to me as I've never been around horses before. The therapist shown me the body
language and behaviours of her horses and their hierarchy. The way they would
get into arguments and instantly express the emotions they felt from them by
stamping their hooves or through the "out breath".

That letting go of emotional energy good or bad and understanding the
transient nature of emotions is very liberating.

~~~
vbuwivbiu
Expressing any 'negative' emotion (frustration, anger, impatience, irritation,
boredom) is seen as weak-minded and irresponsible.

We must pretend at all times that we're confident, unphasable, happy and
charismatic.

Anyone feeling stressed at the end of the day _will be fired_.

~~~
Starknaked
You reminded me of this scene from The Simpsons
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlyzkw1we_g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlyzkw1we_g)
.

------
chewz
I personally come from a culture where people bond on negative emotions and
sinking their existential despair in vodka. People who are optimistic, upbeat
like Americans or some Western Europeans are perceived with suspiction as
shallow or brainwashed and most of all fake.

Can't say it is a better aproach to life

------
speedplane
Every military for centuries has recognized the value of morale. People who
are happy doing what they do, tend to do it better than people who hate what
they're doing.

There's nothing wrong with wanting your team members to enjoy what they are
doing, in many ways it is a duty. But forcing people to be happy doesn't
really make them happy.

------
captainbland
> bosses want to see smiling enthusiasm in the workplace; and the only way to
> respond to “how are you?” is with a joyful “great!”

This is hardly a new observation, but this needs to stop. Just because you're
being paid to do some work doesn't mean your boss should get to dictate your
emotions to you.

------
RickJWagner
“People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Abraham Lincoln, a man who sometimes suffered from depression

------
darepublic
The movie Inside out taught me this lesson already

------
charlysl
Common sense trumps psychological fads any time.

