

Can You Be Shy and Still Succeed in Business? - maximumwage
http://ben.casnocha.com/2008/10/can-you-be-shy.html

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nitrogen
_Shyness itself is simply a manifestation of low self-esteem._

I disagree with this assertion. I contend that it is possible for shyness to
be caused by a lack of understanding of accepted social protocols. For
example, a person who is perceived as shy may not know when it's appropriate
or inappropriate to (for example) approach a stranger or interrupt a
conversation, and therefore doesn't try.

~~~
yason
I don't think it's about lack of understanding but just fear that hasn't been
confronted.

A person might observe and know very well, theoretically, the social code and
witness other people approaching strangers or interrupting conversations all
the time. But until he has personal experience doing that himself, he's just
going to fear what's going to happen to him. And rationalization and
understanding is no cure to fear -- facing it for real is.

* * *

In the delightfully hacker sense you just have to poke at different social
interactions and see what happens. Eventually you'll learn that the worst that
can happen is very likely a stern look or a snap comment back. You might learn
too well and find yourself at the other side of the axis and come out as rude.
That only means you've just shifted your problem space! Now it's a matter of
bouncing back and forth on the axis until you stay in the middle in the
average.

~~~
pbhjpbhj
_Eventually you'll learn that the worst that can happen is very likely a stern
look or a snap comment back._

I'm shy. It's not a logical consideration - I often have no problems in social
scenarios; I used to do some Am-Dram have given lecture-style talks, etc.. I
find it's the anticipation of a situation that works as a sort of potential
barrier that builds over time. If I tunnel through immediately then I'm
usually fine. If the situation is further in the future then I can have weeks
of torment but ultimately one just has to do the thing.

Phone calls have been a particular problem for me. I think this was due to
being chastised as a child for not taking good messages. I can procrastinate
for a week to make a call, but once I do it - though I get nervous and sweat
and have a wobbly voice - I can just do it.

Personally I think my understanding of social situations and repercussions is
above average. I don't find people boring. I work in a public facing role
often leading groups of 10-20 people (adults and/or children).

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yesimahuman
I am very similar to the "loyal reader" from the article. However, I've
noticed tangible changes in my personality the more I face uncomfortable
situations. I am starting to enjoy the rush I get after doing a presentation,
and I don't worry about the speech for weeks before like I used to. I actually
thought I would never get better at handling social/presentation situations.

A personal enlightenment I had is that there is no magic combination of
personality traits that makes you successful in business. The more business
people you meet, the more you realize that everyone has ways about them that
might be seen as detrimental to their success, but haven't been.

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biohacker42
_How does a fundamentally shy person succeed in business? Most people don't
percieve me as shy, but I started out being introverted. I get along pretty
well with people at work, and I'm fine in one-on-one situations. But I don't
say much at team meetings, and still have no clue how to give effective
speeches/presentations. Still can't be in group situations professionally
without feeling attacks of paralyzing gut-level fear. What do you think I can
do about it?_

As the reply attempt to explain that's introversion. All the introverts I
know, me included, have no more trouble (probably less in fact) with giving
presentations, public speaking, any kind of large audience.

Also we tend to get along much better then "fine" and "OK" with people at work
and other places. It's simply that all of these activities are mentally
draining, whereas being alone is energizing. That's introversion.

However, low self-esteem, in fact any kind of self-esteem level is independent
of shyness. There's plenty of people that are anything but shy, who are also
clearly in a very bad place self-esteem wise.

And if you're in bad place emotionally and/or psychologically you should not
take on entrepreneurship.

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grellas
_Anyone_ can succeed in business and opportunities are open to all. I have
worked with startups for over a quarter century and successful founders come
in all sizes and shapes. A particularly shy person may not make a good CEO or
a good salesperson but there are all manner of roles to be filled in such
startups, for extrovert and introvert (and shy person) alike.

Plus, people can outgrow shyness, often by going through hardships that cause
them to mature in that area (this happened to me years ago when everybody used
to laugh at the idea that I would ever be a lawyer or particularly a
litigator).

And ditto with the others who say that shyness is not directly connected with
self-esteem - the two may sometimes be related but shyness can be caused by
many factors having nothing to do with self-esteem.

The main keys to success in business are hard work, talent, and persistence,
with personality being an entirely secondary factor.

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louislouis
"Introverted simply means you are more comfortable by yourself or with one
other person."

"An introvert is often very good at relationship selling. Success in business
is not always about being a visible leader - many F1000 CEOs are introverts."

Yes! This gives me hope as an introvert myself.

Personally I think shy people can change, they just need more social
interaction. I was pretty shy when I was younger, so I threw myself into a
people facing jobs like bar work and retail. Things changed for the better.

------
Harj
if you're shy, you must have an extroverted co-founder. i always find meeting
founding teams where all founders are shy an especially underwhelming
experience.

~~~
jpeterson
I'm not sure what shyness has to do with the founders' product. If you're
basing you opinion of the product on the level of extroversion of its
creators, can I suggest that you're looking for the wrong thing?

~~~
pbhjpbhj
At some point you need to "sell" your product, even if it's only to the sales
team you're appointing or to a VC. If you can't then I warrant you'll not get
the best deal for yourself and probably not enthuse others to help you produce
the best product (for some value of best!) that you could.

