
Overcoming Impostor Syndrome - jeanhsu
http://www.jeanhsu.com/?p=304
======
ztan
_> In college, I never took a course on Compilers or Programming Languages...

>I got the job through a summer internship, which allowed me to bypass the
rigorous 8-interviews-in-a-day hiring process. And I lucked out... completely
escaped having to code over the phone._

I'm not trying to troll. However, I honestly do consider you landing a Google
engineering internship/job with those school background (and zero coding
experience outside of school up to that point) being pretty lucky. Consider
this guy[1]. I believe he would've most likely gotten the internship had he
gone through the same interview process as you. I know that's just my
subjective opinion. However, the bottom line is he went through a very
different (arguably harder) interview process than you did. It's harder in the
sense you could have very well failed had you been asked to code over google
doc + phone. The key factor here is this process that Google uses everyday to
turn down countless competent but not extraordinary people - you did not have
to go through it. That is the basis I deem you lucky.

There is a certain level of respect (among other befits) given to former or
current Google engineers among hackers. And I would argue that is the case
largely because of the very difficult process that they had to through to
become one. I can totally understand why you had the sense of inferiority and
insecurity of your coding abilities, having not gone through that process.

Of course none of this makes your point of everyone is good at different
things and you should not beat yourself up any less significant. I agree with
you on most other points. I'm also happy for you that you've overcome these
self defeating thoughts and have proven to yourself. As some one else
mentioned in the comments, the problem was you being you own toughest critic.

[1]: <http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2384018>

~~~
pnathan
This of course brings to mind Yegge's interview loop theory: [http://steve-
yegge.blogspot.com/2008/03/get-that-job-at-goog...](http://steve-
yegge.blogspot.com/2008/03/get-that-job-at-google.html)

~~~
jbee
Argh, and I was contemplating applying for a product manager role at google.
After reading this i wont be applying anytime soon -it's been over 10 years
since I studied data structures and algorithms.

~~~
pnathan
That article is 3 years old. Don't let one article dissuade you! You should
apply anyway if you want to work there.

------
hugh3
What do you call the opposite of impostor syndrome? When someone thinks they
made it to their awesome position by being awesome, whereas in fact they were
just lucky?

Alternatively, how about the syndrome where someone blames bad luck for their
failures, but in fact their failures are really just due to the fact that they
personally suck?

~~~
jeanhsu
according to wikipedia, this is called the "dunning-kruger effect":
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect>

~~~
JonnieCache
That is a related but different phenomenon. What you're looking for is called
"self-serving bias." [https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Self-
serving_...](https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Self-serving_bias)
The dunning-kruger effect is much more subtle than that, take another look at
the wiki article on it.

Also related, the actor-observer bias, which describes the opposite effect,
and has had more research done on it. This is a common problem in psychology,
humans are so full of contradiction.

[https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Actor%E2%80%9...](https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Actor%E2%80%93observer_bias)

~~~
jeanhsu
ah yes that does seem more accurate. thanks!

------
d_r
Great article.

Wanted to comment on this "The first project I did on my own was jeansbargains
... I built it and then realized that I did not want to spend the time looking
for deals to put on it"

This seems to run as a common theme in many engineer friends (including
myself, several times.) When approached with a sales-like problem, such as a
opening a store or a SaaS product, or even starting a social network, we dig
into the code first and build, but then get stymied by the "business stuff"
necessary to get things off the ground. This might mean not e-mailing
potential customers, sales leads, blogging, etc. In the meantime, we'd spend
time polishing back-end code that no one will end up using.

I have several unfinished projects due to this syndrome (does it have a name?)
And while I am not better at this yet, reading HN has definitely inspired me
to do more than just code in that regard.

~~~
jacques_chester
> does it have a name?

The division of labour. Different people have different strengths and
preferences. Gains are made from trading on those differences.

~~~
thwarted
Also The law of comparative advantage.

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparative_advantage>

------
jasonlotito
I'm my own worst critic. I'm never satisfied. Despite countless praise, I
always focus on the critique. What can I do better? I'm far too hard on
myself, but it's hard to be anything but that. For me, the problem is I focus
on what I don't know rather than what I do know. I see what I know as common
knowledge, and figure everyone knows it. I see people doing really cool
things, and ignore the stuff I've done in the past. So I worry that maybe all
the good things people say are merely because I'm good at hiding my
inefficiencies.

It's easy to realize you have these problems. The problem though, is it an
impostor syndrome, or are you really an impostor? Considering you are always
seeing your work as less than perfect, it's easy to believe the latter.

I see this in so much that I do. I cannot just enjoy learning something new. I
have to learn the right way, and that means understanding everything. If I'm
learning a new language, my first inclination is to rewrite the Hello World
example that's posted, because it's not right. So I skip past the introduction
and start looking for implementing things properly.

I accept in others supposed deficiencies that I do not tolerate in myself, and
it holds me back.

It is, I believe, my greatest weakness.

------
chrisaycock
When I started my doctorate years ago, one of the college dons told the first-
years that everybody is afraid we'll be "found out", and that somehow our
previous track record was merely a fluke. He said these feelings were normal
and that we should just let them go. I haven't worried about it since.

------
JonnieCache
There was once a billboard campaign on the tube in london that played on
impostor syndrome, while managing at the same to be a double entendre.

The slogan went: "Faking it? Try a new position."

------
teuobk
Too bad I can't admit to feeling a bit of relief upon learning about the
impostor syndrome, since doing so would certainly out me as the fraud I am.

~~~
GuoQiangBen
Hah I had the exact same feeling of relief upon learning that this was an
actual thing. But yah, don't tell anyone that.

------
ahi
>For others trying to overcome impostor syndrome, consider this: that you have
benefited from multiple strokes of luck that have no basis on your actual
ability or performance is highly unlikely. It's much more likely that you've
gotten to where you are because of your achievements.

uhh, dammit. not helping.

