

Startup CEOs, stop acting like victims. - kristinatastic
http://siberianfruit.com/post/24290966995/startup-ceos-stop-acting-like-victims

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vnorby
The reason that post has so many upvotes is because what he is describing is
real, mental suffering and fatigue that most (not all, I guess) startup
founders accrue. The end result of doing a startup is personal learning,
growth, having had the opportunity to work with smart people, etc., but during
the process you will forget those things because there are other things on
your mind - at least I do.

I don't think any founder would take their role for granted or change their
position with anyone else - but when you are in the hot seat and you feel the
weight of so many people on your shoulders to do well by them and for them,
there are days where you wonder if you should just go work for someone else
and let them make the decisions for you.

I would venture that the worst feeling in the world is one of being trapped
and not knowing what to do. When you are a startup founder, you are trapped
all the time, and constantly between rocks and hard places. You need to learn
everything but you don't know what exactly. You need to improve growth,
improve product, improve retention, improve revenue, improve profitability,
but you don't know how sometimes and you don't know who to ask, and a lot of
the time you don't even know how to measure success when it does happen until
well after the fact. Being a founder is not like anything else in the world,
because it's the one societal role where up until you actually accomplish and
build something of value and sustain it for a long period of time, there's
nobody but your parents to say how proud they are of you.

~~~
bootload
_"... The reason that post has so many upvotes is because what ^he^ is
describing is real, mental suffering and fatigue that most (not all, I guess)
startup founders accrue. ..."_

He is a she, Deena Varshavskaya ~ <https://twitter.com/#!/siberianfruit>

~~~
shortformblog
The "he" is the guy who answered the Quora question that Deena's responding
to: [http://www.quora.com/Startups/What-does-it-feel-like-to-
be-t...](http://www.quora.com/Startups/What-does-it-feel-like-to-be-the-CEO-
of-a-start-up)

~~~
bootload
_"... The "he" is the guy who answered the Quora question that Deena's
responding ..."_

excellent, thanks for the correction.

------
sudonim
I've been a startup CEO full time for oh, about 2 months now. It has been the
most phenomenal, educational experience of my life. I wouldn't trade it for
anything. I skimmed the quora post, and boy... that guy's life sounds
horrible.

I sleep well most nights, but I stress on others. The pressure is on since
we've taken money and don't yet earn enough to curb the burn. I also have this
belief (crazy?) that we're doing something awesome, and have the background to
accomplish it. I've always felt that I (+ my cofounder) have the agency to be
in control of our destiny. I've never been more responsible for the outcome of
things than I am today.

I'm guessing that the people who don't sleep well are (too far) out of their
depth and the weight of their impending doom unless they figure it out is
crushing.

As the CEO, I've taken on the bulk of the shit work - like administrative
stuff - getting a lawyer, accountant, bookkeeper, bank account (the list goes
on). I spend less time than I'd like on the product. Maybe 10-15 hours a week
in the code / learning. A lot of time emailing, organizing meetings and phone
calls. Overall though, it's fun and rewarding work.

We are building something that doesn't exist in the world and providing it to
other people in exchange for money. How cool is that!

~~~
tokenizer
You made me somewhat rethink my goals of fun being my top priority for
projects. Now I have no idea as to whether I would continue working on
something if it got big and i had to worry about legal and administrative
issues.

I'm sure every experience starts different, but I would trade this off as soon
as possible if I had to. Work on the stuff you want to work on! I hope you can
soon!

Cheers

~~~
sudonim
Fun is what gets me out of bed in the morning. Every day at work is a joy and
brings new challenges. A project getting big is an awesome problem to have.
The ideal project in my mind is one that is fun for you and solves a real need
for someone else. You'll be able to figure out the legal and admin stuff as it
pops up. So don't let that discourage you.

My contact info is in my profile. If you have questions about the admin stuff
with setting up a company, I (or I'm sure many other HNers) would be happy to
help.

~~~
crosh
My friend, the first few months are the easiest months - the ignorance is
bliss months. Running a startup is enormous fun and an incredible learning
experience. I have enumerated some of the stress inducing issues below. I do
not mean to discourage, though everyone needs to know what they are getting
into with eyes wide open,

\- Not having done enough research and received proper feedback before launch
and the product not taking off.

\- Bending over backwards for major clients.

\- Feeling enormous responsibility to your investors to pay them back.

\- Making sure that you do not run out of money.

\- Responsibility to your employees that you do everything you can to make
sure that you will be able to pay them, and that their efforts will prove
fruitful.

\- Hiring the right people.

\- Firing the right people.

\- How you are taking a $60k/year salary, basically paycheck-to-paycheck and
not being able to go to your closest friend's bachelor parties/weddings, and
not being able to get your girlfriend a nice engagement ring or pay for a
wedding.

------
tomstokes
From my experience, this notion of martyrdom is only common among startup CEOs
at companies that haven't yet gain traction or found their own success. Self-
validation is easy to come by when your company is a success. When things
aren't going well, it's much easier to justify if you can convince yourself
(and others) that you're working on it as hard as you can.

The idea is that more work now == more success later. The martyr CEO who
sacrifices every weekend and never sleeps a full eight hours is the extreme
example of putting in more work. And until the company actually achieves
success, the long hours of work are all the CEO really has to show other
people (and themselves) that their company is worthwhile.

------
nickler
I think the point of the original article was missed, but you still make a
great point about the empowering/inspiring side of the process.

As someone who has advised hundreds of small business owners, the gritty, hard
reality is exactly what most of them need to be educated about.

Most startups fail because founders are unprepared, underfunded, and have a
tremendous optimism about what they can accomplish. They fail because they're
'super inspired' and 'totally passionate' and 'serial entrepreneurs'. They
fail because they're not losing sleep over how well they execute their sales
funnel.

Don't get me wrong, my favorite line in startups is that 'optimism builds
companies, pessimism keeps them operating'. You need both to make it long
term.

I didn't sense an ounce of complaining, martyrdom, or bitching in the article,
just a welcome glimpse into a world that most observers glorify as a real life
version of 'the social network'. More people need to see it, especially as
we're in the era of celebrating entrepreneurs.

The ones that succeed are the one's fighting for every inch, every customer,
and every success. If you're not, someone smarter, hungrier, and better funded
is coming for your customers.

Finding a zen and a calm perspective is what the best leaders do to combat the
anxiety and stress of solving big problems in global markets.

Once again I totally appreciate your take, I think it's bang on, just as the
other is. You need both to make it....

~~~
rmATinnovafy
_They fail because they're not losing sleep over how well they execute their
sales funnel._

As someone who is losing sleep over the same issue, I appreaciate the fact
that you understand it. I never get why so many startups focus on the minor
things when the sales funnel is the most important part of the deal. Seems
like people are just doing startups because its IN. Not because they want to
build a profitable business.

------
djt
The truth is that there is an observation bias at play where people that are
negative about experiences go to do that and people that are positive go to
other places to do that.

The truth is that as CEO the buck stops with you, for good or bad.

How you choose to experience that is a whole other story. I for one find it
more empowering to take this view that you are in control as CEO and to be
accountable for your actions.

I know that doing this is hard, but it is no different to everything else
where you have to be the best of the best. Blackbelt in martial arts, number 1
hit in the music charts, award winning tattooist, academy award winning movie
director. It's all hard work and you never know how hard until you DO it.

The closest thing I can think of to it is probably having a baby: does it
change your life? Is it harder/different than you thought? would you do it
again anyway?

If you answer no to any of these then you will probably make a bad parent/CEO
:)

------
firefoxman1
_"If anyone is unhappy, remember that his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility except our own
opinion."_

\- Epictetus

~~~
wpietri
He has a point. But clearly Epictetus did not have party-all-night upstairs
neighbors with bad taste in music.

Just sayin'.

~~~
djt
Epictetus was born into slavery, was lame, became a free man somehow,
presumably from studying philosophy, then was banned from Rome for being a
philosopher.

I'd say he argues the same point as this article in that he was happy
regardless of the circumstances of his life.

------
tokenizer
I personally think that it's good for people to warn others about hardships,
which the Quora answer could have been.

But I also think that complaining about something completely in your control,
or something you started is silly. If you're the CEO and you don't like your
schedule or your daily routine, then change it.

I may not have created anything of importance yet, but my goal is to do
something on the side and part time while working, have fun with it, and stay
true to to the fun point the entire time. When something you put on yourself
stops being fun, you need to start asking questions.

Cheers

~~~
jandrewrogers
Most people interpret the job of CEO backward. When you are a CEO with
employees, investors, etc your job is to balance the needs and wants of all
those people ahead of whatever you might want. It is really the exact opposite
of being a dictator. You can change your schedule if you do not like it only
to the extent it does not significantly impact everyone else associated with
the company.

------
sakura_k
People are fascinated by the trials and tribulations of startup CEOs to the
point of romanticism. It's certainly an ambitious and stressful job, but so
are the jobs of all the people who are deeply invested in the companies those
CEOs run.

A bit of human balance goes a long way to creating a culture for long-term
success.

------
zitterbewegung
Yea, stop acting like you have a high stress job and large uncertainty about
if you will be successful. Ignore the fact that most startups fail.

~~~
tokenizer
I agree. People put stress onto themselves, and my first failure was because I
didn't prepare enough financially so I'd like to add to your point and say any
financial uncertainty is because you didn't prepare for it.

"It's better to be prepared and not have an opportunity than to be given one
and not be prepared." - My grandfather

~~~
il
I don't understand your point. If you're preparing for an opportunity that
never comes, that preparation is wasted. Better to find as many opportunities
to succeed as you can and try to seize them when they present themselves, even
if you're not 100% ready.

For example, we are currently in a fantastic economic environment to found a
startup. Raising money, recruiting talent, finding partners,etc is easier than
ever before(at least in startup hotspots). People who are working on a project
on the side part time and are waiting to take the leap into a startup until
they're more prepared will likely miss out on the opportunity and will regret
it later.

~~~
meric
One set of preparation can be good for more than one opportunity. E.g. Saving
up $100k, which can be used for the following opportunities: Housing crisis,
stock crash, initial investment in a startup, travel. It can also be used for
the following unfavourable circumstances: sickness, accident, personal reason
for travelling. A more narrow form of preparation could be learning a skill,
e.g. programming, which sets you up for possible startup ventures as well as a
full-time job.

He's not saying that you shouldn't try to seize opportunities when you may not
be fully prepared; He's saying when opportunities are available, you will be
more able to seize it if you're more prepared.

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ScotterC
Hey buddy. Try this for a couple years. That post is dead on.

------
ktrgardiner
As The Eagles said in Hotel California: "We are all just prisoners here of our
own device."

~~~
siberianfruit
yep yep :)

