
My best employee quit because I wouldn’t let her go to college graduation - glogla
http://www.askamanager.org/2016/07/my-best-employee-quit-on-the-spot-because-i-wouldnt-let-her-go-to-her-college-graduation.html
======
tachion
My partner, a developer, got fired (well, the job offer was retracted after a
very well performed internship) for kindly questioning two points of the
contract: one about unlimited unpaid overtime, and second one about losing all
intellectual rights to ANYTHING done/written/created ANYTIME and ANYWHERE
(including things not related to company's business and/or technology in own
spare time, holidays and so on).

I told her it is actually better this way, to have an early eject from bad
company, than to sink in, get involved and invested just to realise its a bad
place to be, but despite that, she took a bad hit. Such things sucks a lot.

(London)

~~~
joshavant
IANAL, but, for the _California_ readers, I'm fairly certain a contract with a
clause like 'losing all intellectual rights to ANYTHING done/written/created
ANYTIME and ANYWHERE' will NEVER hold up in California court, assuming said
projects are done with the employee's own time + materials.

...Which is also a strong reason why you should always avoid
using/making/doing anything personal on your employer's laptop/equipment.

~~~
bmarkovic
Neither would it hold up anywhere in continental Europe but I've heard some
inconclusive things about UK in this regard. Well that's common law for you.
As much as lawmaker is incompetent he is no competition to a brain dead judge.

Still the behaviour of the company after she raised concern clearly shows she
is better off not working there.

------
pingou
It's an obvious joke, isn't it, why is everybody falling for it?

Plus it says she's the employee with the lowest seniority, but worked 6 years
there, that's hardly believable, the whole thing is hardly believable.

~~~
enimodas
Maybe the people who think this is just some troll should read a bit of
/r/raisedbynarcissists

~~~
choko
What makes you think that there aren't a metric ton of trolls there as well?

~~~
Caprinicus
Just go to /r/raisedby/r/raisedbynarcissists

------
Steer
Regardless if this is a made-up story or not I think there are a few lessons
here:

1\. Exceptions are hard. While I don't believe in rules that can never be
broken/circumvented in these types of situations you, as a manager, need to be
aware that one exception will lead to having to make more exceptions. That is,
to me, one of the skills of a good manager, being able to make exceptions when
needed and give a good argument for not giving exceptions when not possible.

2\. Empathy is critical. A manager without empathy (in the sense of being able
to understand something from the other person's point-of-view) is generally
not a good manager of people. The manager that is asking the question did
obviously not understand how important the graduation was to the employee.

3\. Don't rationalise punishment (meaning, calling the person afterwards just
to make sure they understand how wrong they are and how right you are) with
concern in your own mind. A good manager needs to examine and understand their
own motivations for doing something.

4\. Don't be afraid to admit your own mistakes as a manager. I'm pretty sure
you can salvage this situation by meeting with the person, apologizing and
probably giving them a well-deserved raise (since it was your best employee).
You do not lose by doing that, it is not a competition.

5\. Don't foster a culture where people will not help each other out. I find
it very strange that a person that is a very good employee and that has helped
other people numerous times (according to the question) has such a hard time
finding someone to help them out. It could be because of the employee of
course, but she should have been recognized in front of the team for her
willingness to help out long before this.

------
bunni
Nothing in that letter is believable. It's too perfect a troll. Viral
marketing.

~~~
rubber_duck
Surprised how effective it is and the responses it's getting here. This place
used to have a lot of smart people and entrepreneurial people - now it's
turning in to another 9-5 tech forum

~~~
chjohasbrouck
If it's posted on HN and getting upvoted to the front page, I think people
tend to assume a certain level of credibility based on that alone.

If you assume that about this story, it's pretty shocking and worthy of some
discussion, so you might upvote it. I thought it was real for the first few
paragraphs and my jaw was on the floor. It's a pretty obvious fake though.

~~~
rubber_duck
>If it's posted on HN and getting upvoted to the front page, I think people
tend to assume a certain level of credibility based on that alone.

Yea that's my problem - this used to be true - but not recently - now it's
like reddit without the memes.

~~~
Jaruzel
Then do something about it. Submit some quality stories.

That said, I do struggle to understand how some stuff whooshes to the front
page, and other equally interesting stuff just gets ignored...

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winteriscoming
Is this for real - a manager writing a letter to a third party just so that
the employee knows she made a "mistake" when clearly almost everyone would see
who's at fault? I can imagine that there would be such managers but I find it
hard to imagine that someone would write a letter saying he/she did such a
thing.

------
ArkyBeagle
Heh. Concert tickets yes, graduation no. Because there was "cost involved".

Hey, I got fired for taking off to get married on a Saturday one time.

------
CPLX
I feel like every year people let their guard down more and more to obvious
internet trolling and made up stories, when it should be the other way around.

cf: reddit.com

------
Vanit
I don't understand how a manager wrote that letter and thought, "this is
okay".

~~~
onli
Me neither. I can't even believe it is true. It is too obvious that the
manager is wrong, no one in his right mind could think to be in the right
after such behaviour, especially not after the introspective necessary to
writing it up. Add in the caveat of the switch for concert tickets, that's
just ridiculous.

I don't know the site this is on. Is it a reliable one? If not, I bet this is
a marketing stunt.

~~~
Xylakant
I absolutely believe it. I've seen managers do similar things, even crossing
the lines into illegal areas. Managers that grew up with the company, starting
when it was small, maybe even owning parts of it sometimes think that the
company is family and that everybody needs to be as emotionally attached to
the company as they are. Unlimited unpaid overtime, working for month without
a single day of are just normal and obvious to them, it's all family. Leaving
the company is a personal insult - since we're all family. You don't leave the
family, do you?

------
Cenk
And to assume that her being raised in foster care has anything to do with
this shows such prejudice. Good on her for quitting! I’m sure she won’t have
any trouble finding a new job.

------
richev
Shame on the manager:

1\. For treating the employee like that

2\. For building a team in a way that prevented such a request from being
accommodated

3\. For still thinking that the "problem" here is with the employee who quit

------
Amiga64
That's nothing, when my dad died my boss complained vigorously when I wanted
to take 3 days off as my dad lived a thousand miles from my workplace. I told
him that I was going even if he fired me, he did'nt but I quit a couple of
months later and never looked back. (Norway)

------
ritchiem
Sorry this has a smell to it. Best employee by far that works for you for six
years and is the most junior in the office? She should have quit long ago.

~~~
raverbashing
I think it means this:

"Best employee": the one that will cater to every demand of the boss

"Six years": she was the one that put up with most of the BS because she was
studying

Once she graduated, putting up with this situation wasn't necessary anymore

------
rollulus
TL;DR: I treated my best employee like shit, after being a good worker for
years she quit and now I'm considering to tell her how to behave.

I hope this is fiction.

------
DanielDent
When capitalism is functioning correctly, both sides of a trade benefit.

When a negotiation fails, it's not unusual for the purchaser (or employer in
this case) to be more upset than the seller.

If she's a quality employee that just graduated college, it stands to reason
she'll be able to find more gainful employment...

But one has to wonder if this is just an elaborate troll.

------
hoodoof
This is a "Dear Abby" column - it's fiction.

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neximo64
I find it difficult to believe this is actually true. Perhaps it is something
to get the site traffic.

~~~
shocks
People don't just lie on the internet neximo64...

------
gtf21
I'm clearly not the only one who thinks this is satire / fiction.

------
abannin
The best managers learn what is important to their employees and figure out
how to deliver it. Those employees will pay you back many times over. Invest
in others, and they will invest in you.

------
joonhocho
That manager should be demoted for losing the best employee and obvious
horrible management. If I were the manager, I would come in on that day and do
the customer service.

------
mobiuscog
The difference between management and control is often lost.

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petegrif
If true, this boss is a staggering douchebag who deserves the toxic work
environment he/she has been supporting.

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erikb
I would also consider it a joke if I wouldn't have experienced and been a
manager like that before. Even if it's a fake story, the way to use logic to
get to an illogical conclusion is very common (and human). And it's really
really tough to let go of this kind of conclusion.

------
pi088
That was one of the worst example of human relationship I've read from a
supposed civilised environment. It's probably a bait article, but dear god how
can someone have their head up their ass so hard that the anus became their
mouth?

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crypt1d
This really puts into perspective how out of touch some people are. I am
shocked by the lack of empathy and how conceited this guy is.

------
MichaelBurge
It sounds like they took the wrong message away from a 'Pets or Cattle?' talk.

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projct
I've had people do worse shit than this to me.

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thomasruns
Yeah.. 0% chance of this being real.

