

Ask HN: Review our Landing Page Copy - michael_fine

A couple months ago, we submitted our landing page for here review. We learned that we needed to simplify our message, add a clear visual hierarchy, and improve our design.<p>So, we were wondering if you could give us advice on our writing. Is it understandable? Is it well written? Does it convey our message? Thank you so much. http://signup.musicmind.co/
======
jwwest
Couple of comments that just immediately came to mind:

1) Ugh, Launchrock. I'm very tired of LR pages, they give no info and serve no
purpose. You'd be better off with your own landing page and fake screenshots.
With so many Launchrock pages that end up being fake, I think there's a
weariness about it now.

2) You use a lot of words but I'm still not sure what you do. Are you a web
app? Are you a social network? Can I listen to music, or just talk about
music? Why do I need another music app when I have Spotify and iTunes?
Answering these questions will make it more likely that I WANT early access to
your site.

3) If you stay with the LR page, at least mock up some fake screenshots for
the background. Try to be as real as possible, even if you have nothing.

~~~
michael_fine
Thank you so much for your reply. On the first point.

We decided to use Launchrock because we were tired of spending so much of our
development time on building a launch page (maybe because we're not
designers). We used Launchrcok because we were pre-launch and believed that we
could communicate effectively in one paragraph what we are trying to do. But
if the sentiment is so anti-LR, or it causes us to look fake, I guess we will
change.

On the second point. We're a social network for people to listen to their
music, share their music, and connect with their favorite artists. This is
beneficial to you because you are supporting artists with your song purchases
vs streaming, you can consolidate all of your music listening and sharing in
one place, and we allow you to connect with artists.

And on the third point. This is a really interesting point, which we haven't
considered before. We'll try to do this.

We really appreciate it.

------
leeny
Unlike some of the other commenters, I like the vagueness a bit. I would have
probably left you my email address until I found out it was a social network.
In other words, if you're still not sure exactly what you're going to end up
being and are open to the idea of changing your model as you go, I wouldn't
limit yourselves/shrink your userbase before you even have a site.

I'd also cut this sentence. It's redundant and adds no value: "Each listening
to the same band, you were drawn together over music?"

------
tstegart
Its simplified, but now it's a bit vague. What exactly does "consolidate their
personal library" mean and why would users want that?

~~~
jchestang
Thanks for the repsonse I'm one of the other MusicMind team members. We'll
definitely work on making this more concise. We're referring to creating a way
to store your complete music collection in one place without the huge price
tag. I appreciate it.

~~~
tstegart
The statement above from your other team member was pretty good, you should
use it: "We're a social network for people to listen to their music, share
their music, and connect with their favorite artists."

~~~
michael_fine
What do you think about replacing social network with website?

~~~
tstegart
That works.

------
michael_fine
For all of your clicking needs: <http://signup.musicmind.co/>

------
momop540
It is best if you can make the page open w/o having to provide an email and
register

~~~
tstegart
Its a landing page, the point is to drive registrations. But you might be
right in that they need to provide links to who they are and what they're
about at the bottom so that people can learn more about it before they sign
up. Maybe a tour?

~~~
michael_fine
Actually, I guess we really weren't clear in saying this, but this is a pre-
launch page, so we're really trying to just gauge interest an get emails. I'm
sorry we didn't say this well enough. Thanks

