
Helicopter Parenting Has Given Birth to a Generation of Entitled Victims - walterclifford
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/abilash-gopal-md/helicopter-parenting-has-_b_9657534.html
======
whack
Or here's an alternative theory: New parenting styles have led to a generation
that refuses to put up with any injustices and unfairness, no matter how
small, and the confidence to stand up to the people who inflict those
injustices. The older generations, who have implicitly accepted those
injustices the same way our grandfathers implicitly accepted racism, can't
understand why anyone else would refuse to accept it, and see all these
legitimate complaints and attempts to address them, as being "entitled
whining." Most likely, our grandfathers would have characterized the entire
civil rights movement in an identical manner as well.

I'm not saying I believe in the above theory. But given that every "anti
micro-aggressions" complaint that I've read defaults to the same extreme
anecdotal evidence, and vague claims of entitlement, I've yet to see the above
alternative theory being disproven in any way.

Every generation complains about how the next one is useless[1], and yet,
every generation turns out to be smarter than the previous one[2], and
historically, has succeeded in making the world slightly more egalitarian,
fair, and less discriminatory. Chances are, 30 years from now, people on
internet forums will be talking about how their own generation was perfect,
how we were Neanderthals on the wrong side of history, and how their kids are
ruining the world.

[1]: [http://mentalfloss.com/article/52209/15-historical-
complaint...](http://mentalfloss.com/article/52209/15-historical-complaints-
about-young-people-ruining-everything)

[2]:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flynn_effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flynn_effect)

~~~
Chris2048
> has succeeded in making the world slightly more egalitarian, fair, and less
> discriminatory

Or has succeeded in making the world _seem_ more fair. The wealth gap in many
developed countries is larger than ever, the media and political institutions,
more controlled than ever.

As for anti micro-aggression complaint, that include stuff like this?:

[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/03/student-
accused-o...](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/03/student-accused-of-
violating-university-safe-space-by-raising-he/)

[http://www.nationalreview.com/article/418273/university-
stud...](http://www.nationalreview.com/article/418273/university-study-
certain-rooms-are-microaggressions-themselves-katherine-timpf)

[http://www.nationalreview.com/article/418273/university-
stud...](http://www.nationalreview.com/article/418273/university-study-
certain-rooms-are-microaggressions-themselves-katherine-timpf)

[http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/09/the-
rise...](http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/09/the-rise-of-
victimhood-culture/404794/)

~~~
whack
Those are interesting (infuriating?) articles, but it goes back to what I
mentioned earlier. One group points to examples of people saying obviously
racist/prejudiced/offensive things. The other group points to examples where
people over-react in silly ways. You really can't draw any conclusions on the
basis of anecdotal evidence unfortunately.

------
11thEarlOfMar
Yeah, it's really different these days. At age 7, I had free reign of the
neighborhood. Played in the woods, damming the creek and catching crayfish.
Playing in the attic of an abandoned barn. Flying a kite on a November day,
and most of these activities alone.

As for school and grades, we were told that if we got all As and Bs on a high
school report card, we'd get to go out to dinner to a restaurant of our
choice.

My mom literally told her four teenage sons: "You can do whatever you want,
just don't get anyone pregnant or land in jail."

So my grades sucked and I went to a 3rd-rate college. But what I learned was
that if I wanted something, whether it was new Marantz stereo or an career in
engineering, I could make a plan, work through it on my own and achieve it. I
don't bother waiting for someone else to fix my problems or provide me with
what I want. I washed dishes in a restaurant to earn money for the stereo, and
worked my way though college.

In spite of this self-reliant upbringing, I'd say I am more guilty than not of
helicopter parenting my own kids. My thought process was that today's
employment environment is different from the one I grew up in. Grads today
face a much more global pool of competition for work, both from immigration
and displacement of work. I'd watched a generation of manufacturing, call
center, and engineering jobs go off shore, and read about how the families
that had depended on them suffered. So we worked closely with our kids,
helping them to get their assignments done and turned in on time, running
forgotten assignments to school, attending every back to school night and
teacher conference, checking on their progress online, all so they could get
good grades and attend a respected school in a discipline that can not be off-
shored. I used to tell them they should be dentists...

I'd say that the balance in parenting needs to land somewhere in between my
style and my parents', and regrettably, I won't get another shot at it.

~~~
matt-attack
> In spite of this self-reliant upbringing, I'd say I am more guilty than not
> of helicopter parenting my own kids.

That's really the key here. It's strange. The helicopter parents of today were
gen-x'ers of yesterday who were left to break bones, ride, bikes on their own,
etc. This kid essentially:

[http://imgur.com/Q7fQsOp](http://imgur.com/Q7fQsOp)

Why do we not want the same youth that we experienced even when we know that
the challenges associated with it are the very traits responsible for our
successes?

------
cafard
Maybe if I can live to be a bit older, I can start to remember what rugged
individualist stoics we baby boomers all were.

------
matt_wulfeck
> College students across America are holding sit-ins and hunger strikes in
> the name of feeling unsafe and discriminated against [...] We’re witnessing
> the development of a “victimhood culture”: an environment in which people
> are encouraged to think of themselves as weak, marginalized, and
> oppressed...

I don't think we can just blame parents for this. The blame falls on he whole
community that serves as a powerful shaming and encouraging mechanism to
certain behavior.

------
fishnchips
Curious that you don't hear many such stories from European college campuses.
I attended two liberal colleges in two different countries and I can't imagine
either give in to obviously unreasonable student demands. Then again, higher
education in Europe is mostly free (or at least much cheaper than in the US),
so maybe that plays a part.

~~~
sudojudo
Europe doesn't seem to be immune, there's Bashar Mustafa at Goldsmiths
University in London; the diversity officer who wants to #killallwhitemen.
Sure, that's just one person, but there's a whole community of young students
supporting her.

Though it's not Europe, Canada is worse about this stuff than the US. Lots of
(as a hardcore lefty myself I hate saying this) progressives turned regressive
via sexism and racism, under the guise of neo-feminism. Petulant children who
think all white men are rapists and want them discriminated against
accordingly. It's unreal, and it has given the right lots of ammunition to
fight equality and humanism.

On another note, I want to point out the irony of Huffington Post calling out
these issues. That paper panders to spoiled brats.

------
JoeAltmaier
In the local Kingdom (a stick fighting club organization layer) when having
events, people call time-out and start complaining and rule-lawyering, the
refs make them do jumping jacks to knock the sand out. Then back to fighting.
SO, some places they're resisting the trend.

------
paulpauper
excellent article . Instead of these people being coddled by delusional
affirmations, as the author suggests, we need to make them aware of their
limitations, and then devise strategies for these individuals to live to their
full potential,

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jessaustin
Wow that's a really misleading stock photo.

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andrewclunn
How ironic that this appears on the huff-po.

~~~
Kristine1975
HuffPo will post anything that generates page views.

It's also amusing that a psychotherapist engages in armchair psychology
regarding college protesters.

~~~
eveningcoffee
Well, he is psychiatrist and he can make observations and try to analyse more
general developments in the society. Nothing wrong with this.

------
Kristine1975
I wonder who coddled Sen. Dianne Feinstein and her husband:
[https://theintercept.com/2015/09/25/dianne-feinstein-
husband...](https://theintercept.com/2015/09/25/dianne-feinstein-husband-
threaten-univ-calif-demanding-ban-excessive-israel-criticism/)

