

Why I Froze My Eggs - murtali
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323628004578458882165244260.html

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OmarIsmail
This line from the article is what stood out most to me "And it's a buzz kill
on dates when you feel compelled to ask the guy sitting across from you,
clutching his craft beer, "So do you think you might want kids someday?""

Is that really the case? I mean if your intention of dating is to meet someone
that may eventually turn into a lifelong partner, knowing if their stance on
children is congruent with your own definitely seems like something you'd want
to hash out pretty darn early.

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sillysaurus
_your intention of dating is to meet someone that may eventually turn into a
lifelong partner_

That's not really typical.

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klipt
I think it's pretty common in certain crowds, for example geeky grad students.
And if you're looking for something serious, wouldn't you want to filter out
people who just want to use you for a fling?

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rayiner
It also depends on age and gender. The "biological clock" is not a myth. Women
entirely unconcerned about long-term prospects at 22 often do a 180 by 27.

The first time I met my now-wife (24), she said in no uncertain terms she
didn't want kids. After two years of dating, kids suddenly became super
important to her and panic started to set in about possibly not being able to
have them.

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teuobk
Perhaps it could be advantageous for men to freeze their sperm at a young age,
too. There is some evidence that the older the father is at conception, the
more likely his child is to have autism. There's also at least one study that
suggests that the link can skip a generation: if a man is relatively old when
he has a son, then his grandson is more likely to have autism. (That said,
conflicting studies exist, and more research is required.)

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternal_age_effect>

[http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/29/grandfathers-age-
li...](http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/29/grandfathers-age-linked-to-
autism/)

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illuminate
I would tend to take most knowledge on what causes autism with a shaker or two
of salt at this point in time.

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rayiner
It should be noted that the success rate of frozen eggs is not great. The data
is all over the place, but generally, implantation and pregnancy rates are
substantially less than a coin flip.

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acadien
Embarrassingly enough I expected this to be an article about chicken's eggs.

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wsj_misanthrope
What's really impressive are the comments. If you ever wondered about readers
of the wsj, this should cinch it.

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montecarl
There is a better option that allows you to have as many children as you want
whenever you want: adoption. Why bring in more children into the world when
there are already so many that are unwanted?

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philwelch
We're mammals. Do you really think that's a satisfying answer?

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montecarl
I will certainly acknowledge that there is a biological imperative to
reproduce. However, I think we should work together to promote adoption of
children. I don't see any logical reason to think of adoption of an infant any
differently than spawning your own. Its safer for the adoptive mother's health
and most certainly an improvement for the infant. Other than the pregnancy and
birth process being replaced with lots of paperwork and interviews, it is a
very similar experience. In both cases you end up with a child of your own to
love and care for.

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philwelch
Yeah, I think adoption is much better, too. Unfortunately most people aren't
wired that way.

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drfrank
I wonder what a woman that spends $50,000 to freeze her eggs in her mid
thirties would say about a man who spends $50,000 in his mid thirties on a
sports car.

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rayiner
Because having and raising children, which creates a huge positive externalize
in society, is the same thing as a sports car, which is a luxury good for
personal consumption?

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skylan_q
The point is that she spent $50k because she spent too much time not focusing
on starting a family and instead was doing something else which was probably a
self-centered lifestyle. She would have nothing to say to the man who bought
the car.

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tptacek
A man can father children and buy a extravagant car in his 20s or his 50s. A
woman freezing her eggs is doing so in response to a biological constraint
that men don't face; they aren't comparable situations.

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claudius
Did someone take into account the kids? My dad turned 60 recently, and the
mere thought that he will be a pensioner before I make any considerable amount
of money and likely senile/needing full-time care by the time I turn 35
is…weird.

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diego
I don't understand your comment. How old are you? Would you rather take care
of your aging dad (assuming that's necessary, which is a big "if") between
35-45 or between 50-60? Does it even matter? Why is that thought weird? Would
you rather not exist?

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claudius
I’m 22 now and I would rather prefer to deal with all the problems caused by
old age when I’m 50 or 60. More importantly, I wouldn’t mind having more than
about ten to 15 years left with him.

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diego
My dad died last year at 71. I never had to take care of him, he was a
relatively healthy guy and his death was unexpected. I enjoyed my time with my
dad, and I have no regrets. Seize the day, and don't waste time worrying about
things that may never happen.

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revelation
At age 36, with no kids and no marriage, she had to obliterate her savings to
fund 50k? I feel like some part of her "big life plan" went south.

It's rather troubling she mentions having insurance cover this procedure...

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klipt
From what I've read, fertility starts declining at 35, so if you're going to
freeze eggs, probably best to do it before then.

