
Ask HN: What can I do when I'm not a culture fit? - Novashi
I&#x27;m a quiet person and parties make me anxious.<p>I joined a company that loves to party and talk a lot and it feels a little required because I get hints that I should attend them.<p>While I&#x27;ve gotten up-to-speed on technologies relatively quickly and then thrown into the deep end to drown (2 months in), I feel like this company just doesn&#x27;t value that contribution compared to if I had quickly made a bunch of office friends and wasn&#x27;t up-to-speed tech-wise.<p>I&#x27;ve had counseling but I&#x27;ve told them that I&#x27;m happy being alone and quiet (and I really am), so they don&#x27;t recommend medications for me.<p>If everyone wants people who engage in the culture, wouldn&#x27;t I be better off cutting my losses and leaving sooner, or should I go for the standard 1-year before leaving?
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AnimalMuppet
How uncomfortable is this making _you_? If you need to introvert after work
instead of hanging out, just do that. Don't feel bad that you're not "meeting
expectations" or whatever. You don't need their permission to use your "not at
work" time however you want. If it's not hurting you, I wouldn't leave.

And how uncomfortable is this making _them_? Is it "nobody ever did that
before, and we're not sure how to react"? Well, their culture needs to learn
how to deal with introverts sooner or later; it might as well be now. Or is
their reaction more like "we want to be your whole life, not just your working
hours, and you won't let us, and we don't like you thwarting our goals like
that"? That's more like a cult than a job. If that's the deal, then you may
need to eventually leave, because they're going to increase the level of pain
on you until you leave or comply.

