
ADHD: A Lifelong Struggle - mkbnnh
https://gekk.info/articles/adhd.html
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wahern

      If you have ADHD, everything you've ever accomplished was
      done this way even if you don't realize it. How functional
      you are with ADHD depends on its severity but also on
      whether you learned, by chance, how to trick yourself. Some
      people pick it up on their own but others need help. If they
      don't get it, they just get left behind.
    

I'm one of the lucky ones who stumbled upon a compensatory behavior. Even as
an adolescent I would consciously find some hook to latch onto in order to
maintain interest in a subject or task; if I didn't _actively_ nurture an
interest I had no hope of staying focused. Usually that involves going down
the rabbit hole of some esoteric detail of a subject, or adding an
"experimental" aspect to some task. The follow through is almost incidental to
the compensatory device, but to others it looks like the polar opposite to
ADHD--like I can maintain interest in _anything_. Well, I _can_ maintain an
interest in anything, but I've spent a lifetime developing that skill because
without interest I cannot focus.

This is probably also why I have a terrible time working in groups. When I'm
working on a task I _have_ to be free to go down the rabbit hole on some
esoteric detail. If I don't I may lose interest and then it's a lost cause. In
a group you have to follow the direction of the group, which means I have to
very consciously and deliberately maintain a keen interest in both the subject
material and the group dynamic. That's 3x times the work--concentrating on the
primary subject material, thinking about fascinating details of the subject
material, and thinking about fascinating details of the group dynamic--and
just incredibly exhausting.

Sometimes I wonder if so-called adult ADHD is simply what happens when someone
who compensated well as a kid reaches the limits of those compensation
behaviors. As responsibilities accumulate you have less time to nurture and
pursue constructive, topical diversions.

------
Boothroid
tl;dr

jk :D

Lots of this sounds familiar. Perhaps I need to see my doctor!

