
How to be a loser - unignorant
http://jsomers.net/blog/how-to-be-a-loser
======
maxklein
If there is one thing I've learnt recently is this: Most people don't really
want to _do_ stuff. They want to _read_ stuff, _talk_ about stuff, _plan_
stuff, _design_ stuff, but they don't want to do stuff. People have come to me
and asked me for advice on some stuff I know after I wrote about it. I tell
them what to do, but most of them just don't do it.

People are afraid to compete because they prefer to pretend they could have
won if they played, than to know that they played and lost.

~~~
michaelneale
"People are afraid to compete because they prefer to pretend they could have
won if they played, than to know that they played and lost."

Wow - it would have taken me pages to explain that observation (that I see in
myself and others).

I resemble that remark.

------
rauljara
"some men do eke out contentment, and they get there by gradually ratcheting
down their expectations. Their appetites fade. They compromise, and
rationalize, and eventually settle.

That’s the loser’s consolation prize."

The problem with this view is that being content with what you have makes you
a loser. In fact, whenever I read something piece that attempts to divide
people up between the categories of winners and losers, I always end up
feeling like I would just rather not play that game.

(not to say there isn't some good advice in there, especially about not
feeling too comfortable. i just find the winners/losers paradigm pretty
limited)

~~~
jacoblyles
All simple ideas are wrong at least some of the time. But they are easy to
reason about and catch the imagination, which is why they are popular.

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te_platt
That hits too close to home. All I could think while reading were all the
projects I have in a prototype state that would be so good - if only...

~~~
andreyf
Err, sorry to interject, but could you e-mail me at anfedorov@gmail.com about
a question I had about your comment here:
<http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=940485> pls?

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nostrademons
That's not a loser, that's a quitter. A loser is someone who keeps working at
something they hate day after day because they're sure that success is just
around the corner.

"Winners forget they're in a race. They just love to run." -- Joe Pesci, _With
Honors_

------
dpatru
I think the perspective of this article is wrong. The author says that if
you're not working hard, you're not learning. "Working hard" implies stress.
It's hard to learn under stress. When I was young, I used to take piano
lessons. The best way to learn a new piece was to take it slow, one step at
time, calmly. Whenever I got stressed, I would stop learning and make stupid
mistakes. Learning is best done stress-free, at a pace that feels leisurely,
but where progress is steady.

"Winning" depends not on one's capacity to endure stress (work hard), but on
focusing on the right activities over time. So in classical music, the winner
is the one who spends more hours of fruitful practice than one who works
harder during the recitals. In school, the winner is the one who thinks about
the material more during the course, not the one who crams before the exam.

I think this most true in business. The business winner is the one who
steadily improves or who operates in a different way, rather than the one who
is most stressed out.

Stress is generally destructive. It should be minimized. The focus needs to be
on steady, stress-free or even playful, practice. If you have an idea, just
start playing with it. Don't expect to "win" with it in a short session of
"hard work." You need to be biased towards action. If action implies something
unpleasant, you'll avoid it and stress about it. That's why so many people
recommend that you do what you love.

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michaelneale
That article kind of makes being a loser appealing.

~~~
tpyo
I realised that a few weeks ago, without reading the article.

Somehow, I'd rather suicide than give up.

~~~
lawn
How's that for the ultimate give up?

------
lsc
I think that as business people, we focus way to much on 'attitude' and not
nearly enough on 'ability' - When choosing technical employees or business
partners, you can often get a much better value by focusing on people who have
everything but the confidence.

Of course, if you are hiring sales, confidence matters; However, when hiring
nerds, it's different. Confidence plays a much smaller role.

------
jodrellblank
I prefer PJ Eby's discussion on 'winners' and 'losers':
<http://thinkingthingsdone.com/signup/Chapter1-Preview.pdf>

"""People in the naturally successful orientation have a bizarre knack for
turning everything they touch into a success [..] and believe that traditional
catchphrases like “no pain, no gain”, and “when the going gets tough, the
tough get going”, actually carry some sort of deep wisdom.

People in the naturally struggling orientation, on the other hand, seem to
have the knack for turning everything they do into a struggle, [..] And, if
you’re in the naturally struggling orientation, then the very same
catchphrases and slogans that spur naturally successful people to new heights
of achievement, will just make you feel inadequate. Consider this: when you
tell yourself to “just do it”, does it make you want to get started right
away?

If so, then you’re probably a naturally successful person. But if it just
makes you feel miserable... then you’re definitely naturally struggling.

Which brings me to a very important point:

Naturally successful and naturally struggling people don’t even speak the same
language."""

~~~
jayliew
+1 for the python-style method comment block =]

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johnohara
People are afraid to set "big" goals. Big, as in stand on your tiptoes and
strain to see the objective type of big. Not run of the mill "just beyond my
grasp" kind of goals.

Setting "big" goals is imperative. Because moving in their direction sets into
motion all the circumstances that allow you to learn and experience so much
more.

There is no failure. Only learning.

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dget
This is pretty true, and always something I think I struggle with. Clearly,
one needs a mindset like this to choosing your life's path, or to your
job/studies/whatever is most important. But where is the line drawn? Is there
anything wrong, for example, with the 9th grade cross country races being fun
diversions?

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Goladus
Going from "I think of losing as not winning" to "I think of being a winner as
not being a loser" is not an inversion like the author claims. It's a change
of subject from outcomes to stereotypes.

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nico
Very similar, if not the same concept as Seth Godin's "The Dip"
<http://sethgodin.typepad.com/the_dip/> (very good read)

