
I’m 35 and I may suddenly have lost the rest of my life - fhrow4484
https://medium.com/@sgriddle/im-35-and-i-may-suddenly-have-lost-the-rest-of-my-life-i-m-panicking-just-a-bit-35d6a28dcbc
======
rcarrigan87
My brother was diagnosed with a rare form of sarcoma (cancer) at age 35.
Basically was given about a 10% to live. 180 servings of chemo/radiation later
we started lining up hospice and he prepared to say goodbye to his 2 young
kids and wife.

Last ditch effort was an experimental drug. Out of 150 people in the trial,
he's the only one alive 12 years later. 6 years ago he started a company that
is about to hit 8 figures in revenue and over 300 employees.

Life can definitely have a lot of swings.

~~~
Xeoncross
> Last ditch effort was an experimental drug... he's the only one alive

I assume it wasn't the drug then but some other factor that was either missed
or underestimated in his actual recovery. Wish more of these missing-pieces
were known.

~~~
koonsolo
I might get downvoted for this, so please do your own research first before
just dismissing it.

There is this cheap thing of Vitamin C injections staight into the blood. A
cure that has been "well known" for centuries, but dismissed because oral
intake studies weren't promising.

I love science, but in studies where a lot of money is made or can be lost,
there is so much manipulation going on it makes you sick. I'm talking about
pharmacy and food industry here.

Loads of money are made with chemo and cancer research. If Vitamin C
injections really are better way to treat cancer, can you imagine how many
billions will be lost?

~~~
mongmong
My mother died of kidney cancer last year. Doctor said unfortunately modern
medicine had nothing to offer her.

She turned to alternatives, tried everything from vegan diet to juicing to
vitamin c (intravenous twice a week over 6 months). No salt diet. Stone heat
mattress. Hydrogen rich water. She exercised daily getting as much sun because
someone told her that's good.

That didn't stop the metastasis spreading all over her body. She passed away 8
months after her diagnosis, coincidentally exactly what the doctor guessed
when pressed for her honest prognosis.

You accuse the pharma industry of preying on the desperate for money, but in
my experience it was the opposite. Pharma told her sorry nothing we can do. In
desperation she turned to alternatives. I was willing to believe anything if
it cured my mum.

~~~
koonsolo
Hey, sorry to hear that. It is a nasty disease. I also have people close to me
who died of cancer, including a 17 year old girl, and my friend who was 20 at
the time.

But it upsets me that so little research is done on high doses of vitamin C,
while the research that is done is actually positive.

------
lgessler
With much sensitivity to the physical and emotional turmoil the author must be
experiencing right now, I disagree with his advice:

> Stop just assuming you have a full lifetime to do whatever it is you dream
> of doing.

Rare and catastrophic events like this that can severely shorten your life are
ones you should not plan for. If they occur, that's very unfortunate, and
maybe you'll still have a contingency plan that can rearrange your plans to
fit the remainder of your life, but he was still right to have arranged his
life from the start to maximize his expected (in the statistical sense)
impact:

> Before this diagnosis I’d been thinking of my 1st 35 years — aside from
> being a ton of fun and travel — as preparation. I felt like I was building a
> platform (savings, networks, skills, experience) that I could then use in my
> second act to make a real contribution, to “make my mark”

"Most of the time", he would have been right to use the early part of his life
to make long-term investments in his development. It's just that this time it
turned out to be the wrong choice.

~~~
wahern

      Rare and catastrophic events like this that can severely
      shorten your life are ones you should not plan for.
    

If you have dependents one should at least think about purchasing term life
insurance. It's relatively cheap because the risk is small.

OTOH, because medical science has become so good at extending life, it's an
even better idea to purchase disability insurance. That's something I still
keep meaning to do. But it is more expensive as a not insignificant number of
people become disabled, at least temporarily, in middle age. For example,
disability insurance will pay for the time you're getting chemotherapy and
unable to draw your normal salary. It's basically an income guarantee.

Note that employer-sponsored policies--especially term life--are crap. They're
structured as a tax dodge for the employer, the cap is usually much too low,
and in any event the policy is only good for as long as you're with that
employer. Basically, it's a bad deal. The sooner you buy a private policy the
cheaper it will be; don't wait even if you already have an employer-sponsored
policy!

Apropos HN, here's a good startup making it easier to buy these policies:
[https://www.policygenius.com/](https://www.policygenius.com/)

I used them for my term life insurance policy and was very happy with their
service. I plan on using their service again for disability insurance once I
have the budget.

AFAIU term life insurance is much like auto insurance--the policies break even
but the issuers profit from the float. I used to think these things were bad
deals. Some are, like, arguably, State Farm, which charges a huge premium
because they invest so heavily in advertisement and an army of insurance
agents. Or those issuers that specialize in selling policies to the elderly.
But most traditional issuers quote fair prices and the industry seems
generally very reputable.

~~~
Arubis
> Note that employer-sponsored policies--especially term life--are crap.
> They're structured as a tax dodge for the employer, the cap is usually much
> too low, and in any event the policy is only good for as long as you're with
> that employer. Basically, it's a bad deal. The sooner you buy a private
> policy the cheaper it will be; don't wait even if you already have an
> employer-sponsored policy!

I had never considered this, and figured having my employer-sponsored GVUL
plan was the responsible choice. Thank you for challenging that assumption!
I'll run the numbers for my own situation.

~~~
wahern
When I did my own research and analysis, most advice I found online was that
they weren't horrible; that private policies were preferable but employer-
sponsored policies were okay. But IMO I really think that understates the
cost-effectiveness in a way that misdirects people. That advice provides an
excuse to just buy the employer-sponsored policy and move on.

Without being too long-winded, if you just consider the underlying economics
of insurance, you'll get the best deal by purchasing and maintaining a policy
for a longer period and with a payout that best matches your current and
expected salary. If you're healthy, relatively young (<40), and confident you
can keep paying premiums for the life of the policy, an employer-sponsored
policy is just unequivocally a bad deal.

That last aspect is key--maintaining the policy for the entire term. Your risk
increases significantly as you get older. If you don't maintain the policy for
the entire term, you've basically thrown most of your money away. The fact
that people are very likely to change jobs multiple times in middle-age
(especially programmers!) means that you're not only introducing gaps in
coverage, but increasing the likelihood that you either fail to buy a new
employer-sponsored policy, have an employer that has a worse policy, or one
that has no policy at all. That to my mind is a huge downside; difficult to
quantify but so significant I don't think we need bother precisely
quantifying.

Also, only small polices (<$350,000 or so, I think) will issue without a blood
test. For someone making even only $50,000/year, $350,000 is much too low and
not worth the money. The best premium/payout ratio will be a much higher
multiple of your current salary. Think inflation. $350,000 20 years from now
isn't going to go very far, and you're much more likely to die in year 19 than
year 1. In my limited experience, those small employer-sponsored policies look
like good deals compared to private policies, but those aren't the policies
you should be comparing. When you look at proper policies (the ones that
require a health check, like $750k or $2m), the private policies have more
competitive premiums.

One final tidbit: employer-sponsored premiums are pre-tax, while private
policies aren't. OTOH, payouts on the former are taxable, while (at least for
term life) the latter are tax exempt. Normally pre-tax is a better deal, like
with health insurance and retirement funds. And it _could_ be, theoretically.
But it's not. A $1m employer-sponsored policy is really only going to payout
about $750,000 or less, but the premiums aren't discounted to match even
considering the pre-tax advantage. I don't remember how much time I spent
crunching the numbers--most of my calculations were back-of-the-envelope--but
I'd be surprised if my conclusions were wrong in this regard.

Basically, just buy a private policy. I purchased _less_ than policygenius.com
(and standard financial advice) recommends based on my current compensation
because I didn't want to end up in a situation where I allowed the policy to
lapse because of the premiums. Again, that's just throwing money away. At some
point you just have to pull the trigger because you can become paralyzed
thinking about this too much. I probably erred to low, but I'm absolutely sure
I didn't err in choosing to buy a private policy.

And remember, if the issuer isn't sending someone out to your house to draw
blood[1], your policy is much, much too small. The questionnaire you fill-out
for policygenius.com or anywhere isn't for naught, especially the compensation
answers. IIRC, I had to send in proof of my compensation after I chose a
policy and put things in motion. Unless you're actually getting a poverty
wage, any cost-effective policy will require a health check, and the best
premium/payout ratio will be in the range of something like 10x-15x your
current annual salary, rounded up or down to match the nearest, most standard
policy amount.

[1] They sent someone to me. At the time my employer-sponsored policy required
me to go to a doctor. I don't know which is more common, but FWIW at least
some issuers send someone to your door[2], which is very convenient. When I
initially joined my then employer I did elect their sponsored policy. But I
never got around to going to a doctor for the required health check so it
never activated.

[2] The lady was nice and her job seemed like a pretty cool gig for a
phlebotomist.

------
Mz
PSA for anyone reading this: Colorectal cancer for younger people seems to be
on the rise. They don't seem to know why.

My father had colon cancer and was not expected to survive it. I think he was
69 when he was finally diagnosed. He had put off seeing a doctor because he
thought it was "just old age" and it was quite advanced by the time he was
diagnosed. He did survive it and died, iirc, just short of his 89th or 90th
birthday.

A lot of my relatives have had cancer, some of them more than once. Few of
them have died from it. So, I tend to be biased in assuming that it can be
conquered, even when the doctors say the odds are long against.

I know I have seen quotes on HN about how the odds are long against startups
and other things, but how you can work to overcome those odds. I think it is a
bit like that.

Good luck in your journey. Best wishes on your outcome.

~~~
soft_serve
Oh we know why! It's just not acceptable to talk about it:

[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3311490/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3311490/)

Asking people to take responsibility for this one simple thing is taboo.

(I have a Colonoscopy just last week as part of a routine exam at my age. The
procedure really isn't that bad. A couple hours on the toilet during the prep,
and that's about the worst of it).

~~~
Mz
Obesity is merely one factor. I have read a number of articles on this and
even written at least one (I get paid to ghost write health articles). My
understanding is, no, they don't really know why.

Furthermore, how to not be obese is not really a solved problem. Suggesting
that fat people are merely irresponsible is pretty lousy. Most fat people have
tried to lose the weight. Some have tried incredibly hard and done rather
crazy-sounding things, to no avail. We don't really understand that problem
space either. Some people are able to lose the weight and keep it off. Others
fail and fail and fail while trying like hell.

~~~
jodrellblank
_Most fat people have tried to lose the weight. Some have tried incredibly
hard and done rather crazy-sounding things, to no avail._

I half wish we didn't have these kinds of comments about weight loss; it comes
from the Puritan-work-ethic-suffering-is-laudable style of thinking, and
implicitly carries messages like: a) weight loss must include suffering, b) it
must include hard work or you aren't earning it, c) 'quantity of trying' is
something in and of itself which is praiseworthy, regardless of what is tried
or how effective it was, d) crazyness is a proxy for trying hard by
implication of exhausting all less-crazy options, regardless of whether that's
actually true, e) defending 'why someone didn't lose weight' and whether they
endured enough suffering to be allowed to live without criticism is more
important than understanding, empathising, fixing, almost anything.

To quote from a blog about going the other way - muscling up:

 _Just because we’re tired doesn’t mean we had a good muscle-building workout,
just that we had a tiring one. Depending on what you’re doing, there’s a good
chance there’s a workout that’s less tiring but does a better job of
stimulating muscle growth.

Similarly, being full doesn’t mean we ate enough calories, just that we ate a
filling meal. Maybe there’s a less filling meal that provides more calories
and nutrients._

And in the same idea, just because someone tried hard and suffered to lose
weight, doesn't mean they did the most effective things to lose weight. Just
because they felt starving doesn't mean they were sustaining long term calorie
deficit, just because they tried for years doesn't mean they found a good way
and it didn't work, but that they spent years doing things which didn't work.
Just because they suffered while exercising doesn't mean it was an optimal
calorie burning workout, just that it was unpleasant..

The two (effort/suffering and fat loss) aren't necessarily directly connected
at all, yet we discuss as if one is a proxy for the other. It might well be
that fat loss implies effort, but effort does not imply fat loss. Or it might
be that effective fat loss doesn't necessarily imply effort although that's
one way for it. I anecdotally note P.J. Eby's comment once that he'd tried an
awful lot of weight loss attempts, but it wasn't until he found Vitamin K
supplements that he started to see progress. Vitamin K supplements aren't hard
work or major suffering (and undoubtedly they aren't a panacea for all obese
people).

The wider context of the quote is:

 _we’re going to slip, we’re going to “fail”. That’s part of the process. A
setback is just an opportunity for us to figure out what went wrong, what
needs adjusting, and how to move forward more effectively. A setback shouldn’t
be seen as a failure, and it certainly has nothing to do with our ability to
build muscle. The moment we stop thinking about change as binary—either as
success or failure—but rather as a process that’ll evolve, the more likely we
are to actually reach our goals.

So when looking at our routines and our efforts, we need to look at them
objectively. If our routine was failing, which part is holding us back? What
piece is missing?

If our routine is working but is tough to maintain, what part was enjoyable
and sustainable? What is wearing us down? What’s the part that’s actually
responsible for our results? What’s useless filler that just wears us down?

This is how we gradually develop lifestyles that work for us—making things
more effective, more enjoyable, easier. This is how we get to consciously
decide who we want to become. Then eventually those habits become what we do
automatically—unconsciously._

In that context, of a life and a way to live, what benefit of talking about "I
tried hard", in the past tense, at all?

It's almost tautological to say people who tried hard and are still fat,
weren't trying the right things - and yet actually saying that is liable to
bring about a reply describing in detail _how much effort and suffering and
time was involved_ , as if the sentence was "you didn't try _hard enough_ ".
Which it isn't.

Empathizing with disease, with medications, with psychological problems, with
car-park focused urban sprawl, with disability, with thyroid problems and
metabolic disorders and absorption disorders and poor education and stressful
busy lives and constraints on money and food availability and susceptibility
to peer pressure - these are all things that can usefully and helpfully be
discussed. Praise of "they tried something and suffered for it, so if anything
was going to work, suffering was going to work, and it didn't work", should
fade from the world. It's unproductive, unhelpful, and focuses on all the
wrong things.

( - quote source: [http://bonytobeastly.com/why-skinny-guys-fail-build-
muscle-w...](http://bonytobeastly.com/why-skinny-guys-fail-build-muscle-
willpower-habits-accountability/) )

~~~
Mz
My point was only that it is not a solved problem. That's it.

(In my first draft) I originally included the detail that I was quite heavy
for some time and didn't manage to slim down any until I got the right
diagnosis. I deleted that (before hitting "post") in part because I get a lot
of flak for talking about myself for reasons I cannot really fathom. It seems
I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

For context: My medical condition predisposes me to retain fluids. I have lost
multiple dress sizes and I still don't have the flat stomach I wish I had,
though I walk more than 2 hours a day every day and I eat very carefully in
accordance with what I have found works to not aggravate my underlying medical
condition. Counting calories is contraindicated for my condition. My
specialist never once suggested I should try to lose weight when I was 245
pounds and about a size 24-26, because the vast majority of people with my
condition are horrifyingly underweight and the condition is quite deadly.

If just working your ass off was going to make you thin, I should be thin. I
am not.

So, sorry to have hit some nerve for you, but my one and only point was that
this is simply not a solved problem. There are people who simply cannot lose
the weight, no matter how much they try, research it, etc ad nauseum.

------
maxerickson
Any amount of unexplained rectal bleeding is reason enough to schedule an
appointment with a doctor.

The doctor is likely to recommend a colonoscopy. Removal of polyps (a likely
source of bleeding) reduces the chances of cancer developing and can only be
done during a colonoscopy.

~~~
koolba
I'm almost ashamed to ask but what's "explained rectal bleeding"? An unusually
large/solid movement causing direct damage?

~~~
jacalata
It's possible to swallow something indigestible that then comes out in poop -
sometimes this could cause bleeding. If you have anything inserted in your
anus for any reason this could also cause bleeding.

------
neilwilson
Remember that the anecdotes on here serve two purposes.

(i) to show that the aggregate does not inform the individual. As a species we
are too influenced by aggregate stats. There is huge variation in individual
responses.

(ii) history is written by the winners. Those people who did not survive
cancer are not here to write about it and those surrounding them tend to want
to forget and move on. Survivor bias is a real thing.

Not only is this story a reminder that life is short, but also that we must
battle each day to keep perspective when the world and our human limitations
are always trying to skew our views.

Given the tensions in the world, seeing things from the other points of view
has never been more important.

------
lohankin
Had same thing at age 44. Stage 2.5, was given 60% chance. Had chemo and
radiation. There's something I can share with you if you write to tatumizer at
gmail dot com. I really hope I can help. I'm 60 now, still working as a
programmer.

~~~
lohankin
Forgot to mention most important tidbit I learned. Normally, you need to have
your first colonoscopy at the age of 50. Mo matter if you have symptoms or
not. But for certain ethnic groups, the probability is much higher. Your
doctor may, or may not, tell you this (political correctness? Illiteracy? Not
sure. In my case, family doctor was in denial even when he saw it), you need
to do your own research. Find out where you belong, you may need it at age 30.

------
Viper007Bond
Last fall at the age of 32, I was diagnosed with leukemia (ALL). I went from a
completely normal life to being in the ER in just a week (thought I just had
the flu in between). My life has been completely on hold for the past 10
months while I deal with this and the resulting bone marrow transplant.

Thankfully ALL has a very high success rate for treatment and long term
survival, but it has certainly made me realize how unpredictable life can be.
I was putting things off that I wanted to do with my life and once I finish
recovering, I certainly will work to correct that.

Don't wait until tomorrow.

------
spraak
It's never too late to turn to the Dharma. I lost a child recently and the
only hope I can find out of it has been to study what the Buddha taught.

> if we start thinking about impermanence now, while we still have time to
> find skillful means to deal with it, then later we will not be caught
> unaware. Even though in the short term the contemplation of death and
> impermanence might cause discomfort, in the long term it will actually save
> us from greater suffering. [1]

1\.
[http://rinpoche.com/teachings/sevenpoints.htm](http://rinpoche.com/teachings/sevenpoints.htm)

~~~
dodododo
This seems so predatory. Instead of proselytizing, why not just hold off and
try to understand what this person is going through? Practicing your own human
empathy on human terms is far more important than whatever list of teachings
you might find out there.

~~~
spraak
Firstly I'm really sorry you felt I was being pushy. I don't feel I have
anything to gain from what I shared, which is how I interpret proselytizing:
my child died. Six weeks ago. So yeah, I'm on a lot of pain, and reading these
texts are what have helped me through weeks of tears. Maybe it's inappropriate
for me to share that so casually here, but I truly hoped it may help someone
else going through death, or being around it. And you're right, I can continue
to practice empathy. And for me, these texts point to how to do that... maybe
someone else would find it helpful too.

~~~
MGuznoyzner
From the perspective of this impartial atheist you didn't come off as pushy.

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace.

------
_rockit_
It took a case of endocarditis, a 30% chance of survival, two heart valves
being replaced, a pacemaker installed, and another brush with death during the
6 month recovery, all at age 24, to wake me up. Ever since then, one thing
I've really wanted, with all of my heart, is for people to wake up - see that
this is not forever and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Listen to me, listen to
the author - please, do what you need to do to enable yourself to pursue the
dreams you really have, stop "just getting by".

------
asldfkweiorz
Good luck with that.

Shit happens; my wife was stabbed on the way back home at 29 and has been in a
coma and now vegetative state since. If someone has a good way to deal with
this crap, please do let me know.

~~~
cpete
Really sorry to read that. Hope things improve for you. My wife attempted
suicide a few times last year. Thankfully things have stabilized since, but I
had been contingency planning for life afterwards just to stay sane. I don't
think there's a good way to deal with the crap...

------
LordHumungous
Visited a GP about a year ago due to blood in my stool, and he said it was
hemorrhoids, but it hasn't gone away since. Going to schedule another
appointment this week thanks to this article.

------
aiyodev
Every time I read a story like this it makes me angry that $700 million were
wasted on Theranos instead of being invested in cancer research. Why isn't
Elizabeth Holmes in prison yet?

------
luckydude
Do your research. I'm not an expert, not even close, but a buddy of mine
pushed his wife's curve way, way out. Maybe you can too.

She has stage 4 lung cancer, it's spread to her brain. If she gone to
Stanford, like she wanted, they would have done whole brain radiation to try
and blast the brain tumors. The problem with brain tumors is that there is
that barrier that keeps bad stuff out of the brain and it only lets small
stuff through, chemo tends to be large.

My buddy started researching and asking questions (he's business/sales but I
think he's an engineer). The 5 year survival rate is less than 1% for stage 4
lung cancer. So he started asking doctors and hospitals "what's your 5 year
survival rate". Everyone pointed him to national stats and he said "no, I know
those numbers, what are yours?". El Camino Hospital publishes their numbers
because they are much, much better: 15%. I know, 15% isn't great but it is a
boat load better than under 1%.

So they went there. El Camino has a different approach to this sort of
situation, they use some chemo (avastin maybe?) that is small celled and gets
through the brain barrier. They also did pin point radiation.

The results: it's 2 years out, I think 2 years and 1 month, and my buddy's
wife isn't fine but she's damn close. She's on an every 3 week chemo cycle,
she typically gets 11 good days and 10 crappy-bad days. They both retired (I
still pay his health insurance which is a big deal) and bought a travel
trailer, do 2-5 days trips up and down California. They are fully aware that
they are trying to cram all of their retirement into a few years and so far
are doing a great job, their doctor loves it (apparently a lot of cancer
patients sit on their butt, just waiting for the next chemo session).

If she had gone to Stanford, while the radiation would have likely wiped out
the tumors, it also has this little side effect called dementia, happens very
quickly. So this outcome is much, much better and it only happened because my
buddy did his homework.

And one sort of cool thing happened: this all started before my company
imploded and I gathered the team and said "I want to send Bob on vacation.
We've only got so much runway left so if you don't want to use some of that
money on Bob, I get it, I won't judge, I'll pay for the vacation myself." It
was unanimous, they wanted the vacation to be from the team (I was so proud of
them, that's the team I wanted). So we sent them back east to see the fall
colors, they had a great time.

It's worth stating that I've watched my mother-in-law and my father die of
cancer (and while my love for my dad is pretty obvious, I loved my mother-in-
law as well, we got along great). The thing that I've learned is the second
you know you have something that is life threatening do whatever you want to
do RIGHT NOW. I pushed for the vacation thing for Bob because my mother-in-law
didn't want to have friends over "until she was better". I deeply regret not
just arranging to have all her friends come in. She died pretty quickly.

So I don't want to be morbid, or show any lack of hope, but there is the
possibility that OP is in the best shape he's gonna be. So use that time to
have some fun, build some memories, whatever you think is good. If you kick
cancer's ass you'll have some memories to look back on, if you don't, your
family will have some to hold onto. Do not listen to the doctors, they tend to
be overly hopeful and give you a false sense of hope (I get it, it's kind of
all they can do, but we would have liked a more realistic view. They let my
mother-in-law think she was going back to work).

Good luck, cancer sucks.

Edit: explain that lots of patients don't live between chemo sessions and a
typo.

------
tarr11
Colonoscopy was a pretty fast and painless experience for me. The prep drink I
had to take the day before was the worst part.

Being worried is definitely not a reason to put it off!

~~~
michaeldorian
Did you ask to have a colonoscopy done? I had some bleeding but my doctor
seems to just dismiss it as standard eat more fiber Hemorrhoids etc.

~~~
PhantomGremlin
Everything I've read says that all bleeding should be checked out.

Even if you're not willing/able to get a colonoscopy, it's easy for a
specialist to check for hemorrhoids. If the hemorrhoids are internal (not all
are) they use a little fiberscope that only needs to go in for an inch or so.
It takes a minute to do at the office.

I wound up having some internal hemorrhoids surgically repaired. Not a big
deal at all. The bad news is that the prep for that surgery is pretty much the
same as the prep for a colonoscopy. IIRC (it's been over 10 years) I think the
doctor first did a colonoscopy and then repaired the hemorrhoids, all in the
same operation.

Sheesh, the things we type on HN. Without a throwaway even.

------
open_bear
See significant change in 'going to toilet' procedure or blood in stool? Go to
the doctor!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQIHJmvnzwg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQIHJmvnzwg)

------
rockit
It took a case of endocarditis, a 30% chance of survival, two heart valves
being replaced, a pacemaker installed, and another brush with death during the
6 month recovery, all at age 24, to wake me up. Ever since then, one thing
I've really wanted, with all of my heart, is for people to wake up - see that
this is not forever and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Listen to me, listen to
the author - please, do what you need to do to enable yourself to pursue the
dreams you really have, stop "just getting by".

------
Raed667
I'm sorry about this, really hope you will get through it.

But this gets me thinking about a couple of bleedings I had a few months ago
and totally dismissed. I will definitively see a doctor soon.

------
sp821543
Scott, I'm sorry about this.

Why isn't the medical community looking for early warnings? relatively cheap
tests for hs-crp, IL-6, TNF-alpha could be helpful. Inflammation is the
precursor to disease.

Do yourselves a favor & ask your doctor for the hs-crp test to measure
inflammation.

~~~
stordoff
OTHT, testing without reason will give you a lot of false positives that then
have to be dealt with. It's a difficult thing to balance.

~~~
kerbalspacepro
I feel like the cost of a false positive in medicine is lower than the cost of
a false negative.

~~~
stordoff
That entirely depends on, e.g., the false positive rate and the specificity of
the test. Couple of quick examples of the top of my head:

* A false positive for a terminal condition or cancer may have a poor effect on the patient's mental well-being AND make them less likely to submit to testing in the future (see e.g. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23540978](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23540978) \- "We conclude that the experience of having a false-positive screening mammogram can cause breast cancer-specific psychological distress that may endure for up to 3 years, and reduce the likelihood that women will return for their next round of mammography screening."). Depending on your false positive rate, that may result in worse outcomes overall.

* I had an MRI on my head a few years ago, and a _very_ small growth (<2mm IIRC, small enough that some future scans weren't even certain it was there) was identified. Everyone involved is certain that it is an irrelevant finding, but I'm now stuck with yearly MRIs - both a cost to the NHS and a nightmare for me (it sets off an anxiety disorder).

* Parent suggests getting a hsCRP test. Whilst potentially useful, it's also non-specific - it'll be raised by pretty much any recent illness/injury/general inflammation, and will always be raised if, e.g., you have arthritis. You would likely need further testing to determine the cause (not necessarily free of risk/cost), and your false positive rate is likely to be higher if you are testing without other reasons to suspect it will be useful.

That's not to say all preemptive tests are a bad idea -- that's clearly not
the case -- but as I initially said, it's a balancing act. Blindly added more
early testing will not necessarily improve patient outcomes overall; they may
in fact have a detrimental effect.

------
cicero
I'm praying for you, Scott.

------
zocoi
Just out of curiosity, what can an average Joe do to protect his legacy and
ensure good outcome for his family? Cancer insurance, any other options?

~~~
PhantomGremlin
_Cancer insurance_

I don't think it's cost effective to buy insurance for individual maladies. If
you do, the perhaps logical conclusion is to include coverage against robot
attacks:

[http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/old-glory-
insur...](http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/old-glory-
insurance/n10766?snl=1)

------
dvt
My grandmother had breast cancer about a decade ago and it was grueling for
the whole family. She went into remission after aggressive chemo, but I pray
every day no one else in my family will be afflicted with this terrible
disease and that the hard working scientists and researchers out there will
soon find a cure.

This puts my own trivial problems into perspective. I hope you make it. God
bless.

------
ringaroundthetx
> Don't assume you have a lifetime to pursue your dreams.

But will this change our perception of people in their 20s-30s that do pursue
their dreams and are behind in their careers and finances?

At what point is a quarter/mid-life crisis not just an acceptable adult YOLO?

The author has some initial regrets on building up their savings and network,
and I wonder if additional perspectives will be made by me posting this

------
superobserver
Stop eating anything grown in the US or under the domain of corporate farming,
anything grown with chemical (Monsanto/Bayer) pesticides, and look for as much
communally, organic grown food as you can. Why has IBS exploded in recent
decades? Miracle grow for cancer is literally being added to the food supply.

~~~
cylinder
No surprise this has been downvoted. Apparently if you can't get a 50-year
study to prove otherwise, we should assume any chemical added to our food is
A-OK. Common sense be damned, we have money to make! That's America for you.

~~~
qntty
Reading this article make me seriously contemplate my own mortality. The last
thing you want to do after doing this is get angry at someone. I downvoted
because this isn't the time for a discussion like this.

------
RickJWag
So sorry to read that. Good luck to the author. I'd love to read a happy
follow-up in 10 years.

------
pcunite
Make yourself ready, before you die.

[http://youarehere.place](http://youarehere.place)

------
lhuser123
Life is a strange thing. One day you can have everything and the next nothing.
Then, answers are never enough. And you're left with the option to do the best
with what you still have.

------
jacquesm
That's so terribly sad.

That highlit bit should be tattooed on everybody's forehead at birth so you
see it every day. Lots of wisdom in there.

------
zoom6628
Best wishes. Be positive. Love your kids and family - the best legacy is what
they keep in their hearts.

------
faragon
Don't surrender, Scott.

------
theklub
I'm sorry, I hope you get through it.

------
sAbakumoff
why did it bring so much attention? Some guy has been diagnosed with cancer,
that happens every day.

~~~
EADGBE
I'm not sure you'd understand. The first time you realize your mortality, it
can really throw perspective at you. Much more of a slap in the face than
whatever hottest trending framework happens to be on Front Page HN.

~~~
sAbakumoff
Well, 1 month ago I hit a car on my bike[0] and was close to meet full
consequences of it. Less experienced cyclist would be seriously injured or
dead, I believe. Though it was kind of a slap in the face, I don't feel that I
need to change anything.

[0]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUY7psClcbQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUY7psClcbQ)

------
Balgair
Allow me to be profane for a moment:

FUCK CANCER

[https://clinicaltrials.gov](https://clinicaltrials.gov)

Start Here, please!

------
davidreiss
My uncle was diagnosed with cancer last july and died 3 months later. Left
behind a wife and two kids. The holidays was rather depressing last year.

He was an athlete who ran in marathons. Never smoked or drank. But cancer
still took him. Such a terrible disease.

------
imaginenore
Lie, cheat, and steal if you have to. I'd bribe medical staff just to get the
best experimental treatments if you can't get there via legal means.

~~~
contingencies
Often you can get your hands on the medical supply chain easier in other
countries, eg. China / Thailand. I've seen hospital employees create fake
patients to dole out medicine on the sly.

------
andreasgonewild
I'm sorry to hear that; if you let them in there with their gadgets; they will
find a reason to cut, medicate and radiate; that's unfortunately just the way
things are. These are not the only options, not even the best options, for
patients. Get a second opinion, and a third; preferably from outside of Big
Pharma. You might have to make some tough lifestyle choices; like seriously
cutting down on meat, alcohol, sugar and stress; but your body has an
unlimited potential to heal itself when given the chance. Be well and don't
panic; remember, mind over matter; how you feel will affect the outcome more
than anything they could come up with.

~~~
brianwawok
Hey i hear the Steve Jobs fruit diet is fantastic. So is taking medical advice
from hacker news.

~~~
fb03
Maybe he could eat only fruit while reading Hacker News Medical Doctors from a
reading nook or abode. Mind over matter, bro.

~~~
andreasgonewild
Can't be that easy, right?

Has to involve nasty chemicals, radiation and flesh-cutting if it's going to
work. Because, erm, that's what the profiteering psychos running this world
are saying.

Is that the best you're capable of? Have you actually seen people in cancer
"treatment"? What about your brain, what are you using it for instead?

~~~
fb03
Thank you for this amusing reply. You really believe all this :-)

~~~
andreasgonewild
Likewise, the fact that I've been you makes it even more so.

I believe in experience; and our ability and responsibility to draw
conclusions from that experience and speak the truth that we see, especially
when it's inconvenient.

I believe in the ability and need to have different, peacefully coexisting
views and explanations; to stand up for who we are, and accept others for who
they are.

I don't believe in blindly trusting authorities while ignoring experience and
shaming others into silence to protect the insanity.

