
Startups and Moms - hurtmyknee
http://42floors.com/blog/startups-and-moms/
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ncasenmare
As a 2013 Thiel Fellow, this hit close to home for me.

Growing up in an Asian family, I was always pressured to take the safe,
traditional college route. And then grow up to be a doctor or lawyer. It's not
their fault, of course, who wants a risky life for their kid?

As part of the Thiel Fellowship, I'll be moving away from Vancouver to the Bay
Area. Leaving the nest. This article will be my Mother's Day Gift, to let my
parents know - it's okay to let go now.

~~~
cjoh
This is really awesome. But please -- save this as a note for some other time
for your mother. As a dad, it'd be heartbreaking to get a "it's time to let
go" note on Father's day. It would crush me. Even the most amicable divorce is
tough.

Give your mom some flowers and, heck, draw something for her. Or use your
talent to express your appreciation for her. But don't give her a goodbye
letter on Mother's day.

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skrebbel
And there was me hoping this was a plea for "generous parental leave policy"
to be as common a startup perk as "full health and dental".

~~~
jaf12duke
Indeed, the title could be better (OP here). For what it's worth, we do 100%
paid parental leave...

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SatvikBeri
Man, when I think about the heart attacks I've put my conservative Indian
parents through (frequently getting lost/injured/severely sick as a small
child, dropping out of high school, getting married at 19 with no income,
refusing prestigious consulting jobs to go work at startups, then leaving 3
jobs in a row with less than a year at each...) it makes me realize that
parenting must be even more of an emotional roller-coaster than starting a
startup. I'm guessing it never gets easier, either.

Luckily it's turned out pretty well so far. I'll be sure to thank my parents
for putting up with me for so long.

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orbital303
We get it. It's an addiction that's glorified by society. Parents can't help
because the entrepreneur doesn't want help. Till he ends up totally broke,
burnt out, and unemployable. I'm pretty sure then the "don't give us money"
rule gets reversed, at least by some parents. It's no different than having a
crackhead or dopehead as a child. The chances of success are equal, if not
higher for the drug addicts.

~~~
tekacs
So if worried, do this after a university degree; make sure not to let your
skills rust; pick up practical experience... and then take a job (even
temporarily) if things go downhill?

Broke is better than massively in debt - so don't take on debt.

Burnt out is more difficult, but at least somewhat in your hands (and pretty
easy to come by in the course of a 'professional' career).

Unemployable? Now that one's wholly in your hands.

Being an entrepreneur seems like a fair, if still-unorthodox way of gaining a
lot of life experience, fast. Surely this a lot healthier than many
alternatives (including 'just keep your shoes clean and get a white-collar
job', right en-route for potential mid-life crisis and regret?)

Surely, with the experience gained (learning to execute, if naught else), the
whole endeavour is a success of sorts irrespective of what happens to the
startup?

~~~
orbital303
Unemployable is not wholly in your hands because burnout is not at all in your
hands, as evidenced by the startup culture that expects and rewards long hours
even though they know how unproductive and unsustainable that is. Burn out is
just another way of saying "major depressive disorder" or some other mental
illness. It is not glorious and it's only in your control if you never start
down that road.

Is it possible to create a startup and working normal hours while still having
tight deadlines? Sure. Accountants do it for startups all the time. Why can't
founders or developers? Likely because they're spending too much time working
long and late, getting done in 4 hours at 2am what they could have
accomplished in half an hour at 2pm. It is possible, but I have yet to see it
happen.

~~~
sliverstorm
I agree that burnout is not really in your control when you work for someone.
There are games you can play to push out the hard wall, but it is hard to
truly regulate it yourself when you are not your own boss.

This does not mean burnout will always happen. It just means your superiors
play an important role in managing it.

