
Ask HN: Best resources on parenting? - ngngngng
My wife and I are expecting early next year. Wanted to get this communities thoughts on books, articles, etc for successful parenting.
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sbinthree
This probably isn't what you are looking for, but my wife and I have a three
month old so I have some very recent experience with this stage and this is
what we have learned:

* I read maybe two parenting for Dads books. I do not regret not reading more, they were helpful but marginally so, mostly during pregnancy. Maybe I could have read none and been fine. I probably won't invest a lot of time in parenting books moving forward.

* I got the most value reading generic child development books. Parenting a baby is really just care + development. Figuring out care takes a few weeks (diapers, feeding, etc.) and then it's all about development from then on. Parenting comes much later, plenty of time to read about it.

* The first few years of life are the most important for development by far. You could argue (I mean, the science does) that over half the impact you can have on the developmental outcome of your child happens in the first two years of life. And even then, it's somewhat random.

* On that basis, we take development activities very seriously at this stage, and worry less about parenting in future, if only because it's impact is less significant long-term and we have plenty of time to read if we want. I worry about facilitating development, they are going to be who they are going to be when they grow up.

* I found having parenting peers to be very useful but it's hyper age-based. Our best friend had a child within the same month so we tend to talk to them a lot more than others as a result. Even people with babies at six months are in their own world of problems and priorities.

* Once you figure out care and where you are development wise, the biggest problem for the first six months or so (according to others around us) is sleep. Not much can be done either. This has been our experience. Once you're done with the shock, the obligation, you just have this joyful sleepless daze phase.

* The science on parenting (development + care) has changed materially (for the better) since our parents were parenting. Their advise can be as bad as it is good, we have found Google Scholar 10x more useful than listening to in-laws and our in-laws are arguably wise about parenting (just so out of date).

