
From hacker to hospice in seven weeks - benjamincburns
http://www.benjamincburns.com/2014/11/30/from-hacker-to-hospice-in-seven-weeks.html
======
saboot
I would like to take this opportunity to remind our fellow hackers to be aware
of changes within your own body. Being alert to physical and/or mental changes
and relaying concerns to your doctor is one the best methods for overcoming
several diseases and cancers.

As a personal testimony, about ten months ago user ifktaotc made a very
helpful comment regarding testicular cancer and it's prevalance among young
men warning that it was likely that at least some of those reading his comment
will have it or already do so.
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7120102](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7120102)

After reading I checked myself and found what was confirmed a few days later
to be a cancerous mass.

I am very fortunate to be alerted to the fact very early as aside from some
initial surgery it hasn't affected the rest of my life. Even though the odds
of survival overall are high, not knowing it earlier would have required much
more intense and painful treatment (chemo, RPLND).

~~~
k-mcgrady
Glad you're doing well saboot. I just had to say I find it pretty amazing that
a comment online can have this sort of effect on someone's life!

------
cookiecaper
As many HN readers don't have children, they may be inclined to see Nicola's
pregnancy as a tragedy of some kind. Truly it is sad that this child will live
without its father, but it's also a gift to the world -- a bit of Steven,
living on. It will be a continuing gift to Steven's loved ones to have a
permanent, living piece of Steven, a continuance of himself after he slips
into the eons. When you get that kind of gift, as sad as everything else
around it may be, it almost feels like cheating.

I just feel like this is a perspective that may not be immediately realized
among groups of people that don't have their own children. I know before I had
children, I would have only viewed it as tragic.

~~~
petercooper
As weird as this might sound, having children has given me a significant sense
of relief for similar reasons to those outlined in your comment, even though
I'm far from a natural parent (but I'm working at it!)

Being a bit of a paranoid and morbid guy at the best of times, reproducing
seemed inherently and intrinsically important to me in some hard to quantify
way, and I feel so much mentally better for having descendants. I can't really
explain it well though and have chalked it up to one of those messy,
animalistic "instinct" things.

~~~
Dewie
> As weird as this might sound,

Not necessarily weird - you sound just as self-obsessed as the rest of us.

------
leonardinius
I know I'll get downwoted for this, nevertheless ..

I don't know how about Steven and Nicola, however I myself would mind having
certain intimate moments shared with general public (e.g. overheard phone
conversations, etc ..)

Having sad that, I feel for Steve's and Nicola family. It's always tough.

~~~
benjamincburns
No need for the preface - it's a fair thing to say.

I hemmed and hawed about whether to post this article at all for this exact
reason. In the end I decided that if I was going to post it I should be both
respectful and truthful.

I probably could've worded it better. I probably could've added some
disclaimer that this is true as far as I remember, but my memory is fallible.

[Edit, as I hit post too soon]: Either way, I tried to be polite about it.
This tragedy struck during a crunch time when a lot of us were feeling the
need to rally together in order to make the big win. Any married person who
chooses to work late on occasion experiences such a phone call.

To be clear, I didn't hear her end of any conversations. There weren't more
than two or three of them that I overheard, and I wouldn't have included
anything about them if I thought they were terribly personal.

The struggle between work and home life is something I experience myself. It's
just another parallel I can't help but think about when trying to make sense
of this situation. Not including it felt like I was leaving something
important out of the story.

~~~
mikegerwitz
I think you made the right decision. This is a very touching and saddening
story, and as you said, it's very hard not to put yourself in his shoes. I
think about my family any time I read a story of a loss.

You have made a tribute to what sounds to be a wonderful person and a great
friend. You have also helped to raise money for his family, which I'm sure
will help---if not just a little bit---to put him at ease knowing that they
have support. And you have brought further attention to cancer.

I hate having my personal affairs public, but in a case like this, I'd be
happy to have my story known.

------
edw519
I am so sorry to hear this and also so glad you posted it here, Ben. Thank
you. We all get so busy in our daily details, it's nice to be reminded what's
really important.

Just some quick, well intentioned feedback from someone who has lost almost
every important loved one...

Please don't be angry. That may seem like a natural response, but it is wasted
output, serving as input into no productive process. Life is not a problem to
be solved; it is a gift to be savored, one day at a time.

Have fun doing what you love to do, but don't forget to knock off when it
still makes sense today. Then go hug your love one(s). Today will be gone
tomorrow and there is no algorithm to bring it back.

~~~
johnaspden
Death is a bad thing. Anger is appropriate. We can probably fix it. If not in
time to save ourselves, we might be able to save our children. We need to
start now and spend a fortune. People need to stop pretending that it's ok.

~~~
jkaunisv1
I don't want my children to grow up in a world where you have to work at
McDonald's for 100 years to afford buying a small house on the outskirts of a
city. All because old wealthy people just keep accruing more wealth and never
returning it to the cycle of the economy.

When I look at the power structures of the modern world and the control that
corporations have over our governments, I don't extrapolate positive changes
should the powerful also start living forever.

Death is part of life. People need to stop pretending it's bad. If you feel it
is such a bad thing, will you also cure death for every spider, every frog,
every crow, every ant, every tree? What do you think will happen then? Or is
life only important when it's a human?

~~~
orangecat
_I don 't want my children to grow up in a world where you have to work at
McDonald's for 100 years to afford buying a small house on the outskirts of a
city. All because old wealthy people just keep accruing more wealth and never
returning it to the cycle of the economy._

The economy doesn't work that way. You and your children are not poorer
because Warren Buffett is rich.

 _Death is part of life._

So are Alzheimer's, cancer, polio, and people with bad vision being eaten by
bears. Which of those should we not address?

~~~
jkaunisv1
While the economy isn't zero-sum, resources like land are. Warren Buffett
isn't taking money away from people, but I still believe income & other
inequality would rise if people lived forever.

I think all of those problems are worth addressing, but I don't think we
should be in a mad rush to cure death itself. It is a vital part of returning
resources to the cycle of life to be used anew. I think our world would be
worse off if humans lived forever, it would be stale and stagnant. Finally, I
think we should fix some other problems that our overpopulation and thirst for
growth are causing before we try to cement that growth with eternal life.

------
eli
This post really hits home for me. My dad is in a similar situation as Steven
after a sudden diagnosis with a very aggressive form of lung cancer. Despite a
growing brain tumor, he was still tweaking database reports and writing SQL
queries from home up until a few weeks ago. He made sure his coworkers were
watering his plants even as he started chemo and went through full-brain
radiation. He's not some startup guy and was never a workaholic, but I think
working -- and the idea of returning to work -- was something he really
needed. I regret not reaching out to his coworkers sooner, though. He's too
sick to have any visitors now and for a guy with a reputation as a curmudgeon
it seems he had a lot of people who cared about him.

------
pawelkomarnicki
I had very similar situation at work, one day we found out one of the
teammates passed away in his sleep (a young, heavy, although sporty person),
but I would _never_ make a blog post like the one I'm commenting on. Being
Nicole I would be really angry about you invading my privacy, making her
tragedy all about yourself and your fear of mortality... Just saying.

~~~
k-mcgrady
Everyone regards their privacy in this kind of situation differently. Some
want to keep everything to themselves and others want to share. Considering
the OP probably knows the family he's much better placed than any of us to
make that call. It also seems like it's generated a nice response so who's to
say it won't comfort the family? I guess it would be best to ask permission
first but I'm sure the family has more important things to think about at this
time.

------
KhalPanda
I'm so sorry to hear that. A very sad and sobering read.

I'm sure a lot of your coworkers and team are contributing, like you said, but
it'd be nice to think (if they haven't already) that your actual company would
make a reasonable contribution to Nicola and their future child, since it
sounds like Steven gave so much to the company (albeit under compensation). I
know I would for one of my key and valued employee's, if I were in a position
to do so.

~~~
mratzloff
Yeah. My company pays for a pretty good life insurance policy and long-term
disability policy for each employee (beneficiary designated by employee, of
course). It really doesn't cost that much and can make all the difference.

------
madaxe_again
I don't have a brain tumour, but I have had, and am still having, an
experience which has made me think seriously about my mortality.

I'm 31. About three years ago I started having three/four day long bouts of
total delirium, roasting fever, extreme nausea, can't even keep sips of water
down when it happens - by day three or four, I'm usually too weak to move,
totally dehydrated.

Two years on, my GP is still going "clearly your hygiene is terrible and
you're giving yourself food poisoning", and it had got to the point where I'd
be lying there, lapsing in and out of consciousness, feeling my heart stop.
And start. Then stop. Then I'd turn blue. Then it'd start again. Then I'd turn
back to a nice healthy jaundiced yellow.

Took myself to the far side of the planet, got diagnosed with gallstones. Not
just good old fashioned gallstones, but gallstones that make an imaging tech
go pale and run out of the room to bring in several other people to hemm and
haww before looking at me and going "Sir, you're extremely ill.". Turns out my
gall bladder ruptured years ago, due to a large collection of stones, and
occasionally oozes bile and bowel contents into my innards. It has eroded my
vagus nerve (hence the cardiac symptoms), damaged my liver, and I'm having
surgery at some point hopefully soon to have the damned thing (gall bladder)
outright removed. I can't drink any more, and my other half gives me no end of
shit for smoking weed in my spare time, as it's the one thing that makes the
f'ing thing stop hurting - or at least makes me not care that it hurts. I've
tried various legal pharmaceuticals, but they all either make me more
nauseous, or make me incredibly tired - or I can't take them because they're
liver metabolised. I digress.

Anyway.

The long and the short is that knowing what's wrong with me has helped, as
when I didn't know it was utterly terrifying, and while it's now still
terrifying, it's a known terror, rather than my darkest fears made manifest.

I could drop dead with only a few days notice from this, and my next attack
might be my last. Every time I've had a major attack, I haven't just felt like
I've been dying - I _have_ been dying - and have been fortuitous enough not
to. For now.

This led to the realisation that _I could drop dead at any point, regardless
of this_. I mean, we're all ultimately aware of our own mortality, but until
you're reminded of it every day, by perhaps an awkward "I have a stick wedged
under my ribs and looking at things makes me feel sick" sensation, you never
really _appreciate_ it.

Mortality is the ticking timer that keeps you alive.

If the mortality of others can remind us of the importance of living well,
then even if just in that way alone, they persist in doing good for we the
living even once they're gone.

~~~
Mc_Big_G
The ineptitude of doctors never ceases to amaze me. One particularly idiotic
fellow proudly announced to me and the entire office that he'd discovered I
have diabetes. Even if that has been true, the manner in which he announced
his pleasure at the epiphany made me want to punch him in the balls. hard.
After a confused and sad ride home it only took a short talk with my extremely
unqualified wife to convince me that he is mentally challenged and had no idea
what he was talking about. Of course she was right.

In a fun twist, a month later I contacted a different Dr's office in the same
plaza to get a new doctor. I wanted to verify it wasn't the same location, so
I specifically asked if he worked there. The attendant said "No, but why do
you ask?" I told her the story and she said that he had applied to be a part
of their practice and, after my call, ther was an extremely slim chance of
that happening. Made my day.

~~~
clusterfoo
Hey, look at the bright side, at least yours didn't turn out to be stage IIIc
cancer, after three months and two doctors assuring me "You're young! It's
probably nothing." Even with a family history and scans showing an enlarged
lymph node.

This is the most common story you'll hear from a cancer patient.

The most upsetting part is how critical early diagnosis is: the difference
between stage II and IIIc can be the difference between 80% vs 20% five-year
survival.

Good doctors are few and far between, and good diagnosticians... I dunno, me
and my family have been in and out of the medical system for a while now, and
I'm yet to meet one.

When you go in, do your own research, get a copy of your results, and tell
them exactly what to do.

~~~
webnrrd2k
> Good doctors are few and far between, and good diagnosticians...

This has been my experience, repeatedly. The GPs I have had aren't motivated
to get to the bottom of any problem that can't be solved in one 15 minute
visit, and refers anything out to specialists. The specialists have all
diagnosed me with whatever issues fit their specialty. No one in the US
medical field seems interested in actually finding out the real problems, just
what's easy for them to diagnose or fix.

After writing this I realize how cynical it reads, but it's the truth! I'm
sure there are good doctors out there -- maybe in a teaching hospital?

------
sillysaurus3
How long until a daily brain scan and body scan is a part of everyone's
routine, the same way brushing your teeth is?

Problems like these are untreatable if left for too long, but if caught early,
there's sometimes hope. The solution seems to be to develop as many types of
passive scanners as possible.

The problem is false positives. But wasting a month needlessly visiting the
doctor doesn't seem that bad.

~~~
dkbrk
False positives aren't inherently a problem. If you have accurate
understanding of the sensitivity and specificity of a test, then you can take
action to maximise the utility of the expected outcome.

This means, for example, not necessarily performing a biopsy just because
something is there (but it's probably benign). The cost of invasive procedures
such as biopsies, and risk-increasing tests such as CT scans has to be
balanced against their benefits.

Of course, there is no risk with a full-body MRI scan. The machine itself is
expensive, but otherwise it nominally only costs electricity, maintenance and
operation. If full-body scans were, as you say, routine, the cost of the
machine would be amortised and an economy of scale should prevail.

The problem is legal; if a doctor sees _something_ on a scan and doesn't take
action, they can be sued. This is the case even if there is negative expected
utility from performing the test due to the low probability of an actual
malignant condition. Due to this, it is not uncommon to hear doctors say that
full-body scans do more harm than good.

Until the legal system starts to account for rational choices based on
_statistical_ information, this problem is going to persist.

~~~
nkw
> Until the legal system starts to account for rational choices based on
> statistical information, this problem is going to persist.

The legal system does account for this. To succeed in a malpractice action, a
plaintiff must prove a defendant failed to meet the required standard of care,
which means the defendant failed to exercise that degree of skill and learning
ordinarily exercised under the same or similar circumstances by members of the
defendant's profession.

If these "rational choices based on statistical information" you refer to are
within the accepted standard of care, a doctor is not going to be successfully
sued for doing so.

~~~
pyre
But at what cost? It's like saying that broad patents aren't a problem because
they can 'just' be invalidated if they become a problem.

------
mietek
We need to fix this, and we need to start yesterday.

“Yes, we did it, we killed the dragon today. But damn, why did we start so
late?

[http://www.nickbostrom.com/fable/dragon.html](http://www.nickbostrom.com/fable/dragon.html)

If you are in a position to fund things, consider the SENS Research
Foundation, instead of the next Yo app.

[http://www.sens.org](http://www.sens.org)

~~~
melling
How effective is the institution? We throw a lot of money at problems. Are
there more effective institutions or methods? Perhaps a series of X-Prizes for
medicine would help? The tricolor prize, for example:
[http://tricorder.xprize.org/about/overview](http://tricorder.xprize.org/about/overview)

------
taocoyote
I worked with Steven. When he was an intern I was responsible for reviewing
his code. He was not as experienced as me, but he was smarter than me. I feel
lucky to have worked with him, I learned a lot from him and I like to believe
he learned a lot from me. Writing code, hacking wasn't just a hobby for him,
it was part of his identity. The same as it is for me.

I'm not sure what to make of this. I learned of it a few days ago.

------
hox
If anything, this article points out one thing to me: spend your time doing
what you love. If that's work, great. If you love your family or life outside
of work more, do whatever you can to spend more time with them. Sacrifice by
finding a stable, well-paying yet not "exciting" job that enables you to avoid
12 hour workdays that are normal.

If your significant other says you are spending too much time at work, that
means you should make the choice over what is more important. You always have
a choice.

------
DigitalSea
I have absolutely no words. My heart goes out to Steve's wife, family and
friends. I think many of us can relate to the long hours part of the story,
the strain that it puts on relationships is real. We have all been there at
one stage or another, the inevitable you are always working late and I never
get to see you call/in person conversation. Not to mention the effects of
sleep deprivation can be serious, there have been quite a few studies that
have linked sleep deprivation to a lot of things including serious disease,
reduced cognitive ability and even kill brain cells.

If there is one thing we can take from this it is: you don't know how long you
have got in this life. Family is always more important than work, I think we
should all remind ourselves every once in a while we have a husband or wife at
home, possibly kids, who love seeing us and need your time just as much as
your employer does. Jobs come and go, family is for life.

------
mcphage
> Aside from the anger, there’s another feeling I just can’t shake. I’m not
> sure it has a name... It’s impossible for me to be a witness to this
> situation and not think “what if it were me?”

Um, you're not the first person to contemplate your own mortality. The usual
term for it is _memento mori_ , and has been a major component of culture and
art for thousands of years:
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memento_mori](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memento_mori)

~~~
Dewie
Right now, it's more of a relieving thought really. In the sense that - no
matter how much I screw up, none of it will matter when I'm dead.

------
vonseel
In 2000 my mother was diagnosed with malignant brain tumors after experiencing
similar symptoms (nausea, vomiting, fatigue, "vertigo" like dizziness). She
had surgery within days and began radiation treatment within a few weeks...
but lost the battle no more than 6 weeks after first discovering the tumors. I
was 10 at the time with brothers age 14 and 18.

Very sorry to hear about your friend. Brain cancer is a terrible, tragic
condition that can steal your loved ones when you least expect it.

------
hamburg
fwiw, I think it's good to contemplate death and sad stories like this one
remind us of it. If we all took 5 minutes each day to think about our own
death, and that it can happen to us at virtually any moment, the world would
be different. Better, I assume.

------
Hapa
This is terrifying story, my question is what we can do , so less people
suffer from it. Here are few of my suggestions. I am curious about your
opinion:

1\. Obviously take care about your health.

2\. Send as much money as you comfortable can to somewhere, where you think it
might make the biggest difference.

3\. Support indirectly companies which focuses on these problems. As consumer
you can give them feedback on their apps. You can promote them amongst the
friends(although make sure you aren't promoting some pseudoscience nonsense).
You can choose to buy products from companies which helps the good cause.

4\. Work on problem your self directly in work or in free time, by working on
open source project, helping some organization.

5\. Inform others about science. Many people don't trust the science, doesn't
understand basic of scientific research, which can obviously hurt the research
(by less funding, cancellation of research), helps ineffective pseudo-
scientific treatment.

6\. Give info to others about different treatments, and scientific
breakthroughs. Many people have information about last treatments only through
news, who can care more about great headline than boring truth.

7\. Use your pc/mobiles by joining programs like Folding@home.

Any other tips?

------
AznHisoka
So I'm somewhat confused by the responses to this post. It seemed to me that
his long hours at work contributed to his developing the disease. But ppl seem
to be responding as if he had a natural inclination to developing it, and that
we should accept it.

So there's absolutely nothing to learn here aside from "visit the doctor
often"?

~~~
phkahler
>> It seemed to me that his long hours at work contributed to his developing
the disease.

What on earth makes you say that? Is there a documented link between working
long hours and getting cancer? Citation please.

~~~
cpncrunch
[http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/stress](http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/stress)

"Evidence from experimental studies does suggest that psychological stress can
affect a tumor’s ability to grow and spread. For example, some studies have
shown that when mice bearing human tumors were kept confined or isolated from
other mice—conditions that increase stress—their tumors were more likely to
grow and spread (metastasize). "

~~~
phkahler
From that very same link:

"Although stress can cause a number of physical health problems, the evidence
that it can cause cancer is weak."

But they do make some statements that seem to support the idea as well.

~~~
cpncrunch
I think it's more along the lines of "stress isn't proven to cause cancer, but
if you have cancer then it may cause it to regress".

Also, given that stress significant suppresses the immune system, and that the
immune system is important for protecting against cancer growth, I think it is
highly unlikely that stress _wouldn 't_ affect cancer.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancer_immunology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancer_immunology)

------
nocman
A cousin of mine recently lost her life in a very short battle with cancer.
She was only 41 years old -- both of her parents still living. In the past few
years there have been a lot of deaths among my family and friends. Some of
them were very old, some very young, and some in-between.

I would like to encourage readers here to consider this. Your life here is
temporary. Even if you are very healthy your whole life, one day you will take
your last breath, and it will be over.

It is easy to get wrapped up in everyday life. Pursuing your goals and dreams,
or perhaps just barely getting by, living day to day. I think most people tend
to push off thinking about their own mortality.

And as it is, most of us have no idea how much longer we have. We could be
here 50 or 60 more years, or we could die tomorrow in some sort of accident.

So the question I would like to pose is this:

Are you prepared for your own death?

Do you have any idea what will happen to you when you die? It is going to
happen. Isn't it worth considering what the possibilities are, and spending at
least some time exploring the question?

I believe I have shared this before here (at least to some extent). I am a
Christian, and I believe the Bible is direct revelation from God. I believe
there is life after death, and that the only hope for a peaceful existence
after death is found by believing in Jesus Christ in this life. I would like
to encourage anyone here to read for themselves about Jesus' life on Earth,
and make their own decision as to whether they should believe in Him. I think
the best place for you to start reading about Him is in the Bible, in the
gospel of John (
[https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?version=NKJV&search=Jo...](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?version=NKJV&search=John%201)
). That book will give you enough information, IMHO, to make an informed
decision about Him.

~~~
sireat
Why become a Christian out of multitude of religions?

And if one is to become Christian then which one (Catholic, Lutheran, etc
etc)?

I've read some Christian apologestics (Augustine, Aquinas, Pascal, GK
Chesteron, CS Lewis et al) and they spin a good yarn but obviously you can not
reason your way into/out of religion.

So why should one believe Jesus was the Real Thing and Brian was not ?

One way I can see religion working if there is a way to reconcile most of
world's religions (that is they are all working to the same end just from
different directions). This is what a Lutheran pastor was proposing to me that
all Abrahamic religions were working towards the same goal, but that leaves
the problem of Jesus.

Second way would be the second coming. This would be even more effective. Why
settle for some miracles 1970 years ago, when you could do real miracle stuff
every once in a while to remind people that God is indeed something they
should consider. Otherwise we get some questionable miracles like the gold
plates from Mormons etc.

Until I can figure this out I am doomed to remain in "conscious meat"
category.

~~~
qb45
_One way I can see religion working if there is a way to reconcile most of
world 's religions (that is they are all working to the same end just from
different directions)._

 _Second way would be the second coming. This would be even more effective.
Why settle for some miracles 1970 years ago, when you could do real miracle
stuff every once in a while to remind people that God is indeed something they
should consider. Otherwise we get some questionable miracles like the gold
plates from Mormons etc._

So if you believed that Christianity _is_ the only religion you would be a
Christian and if you believed it's the Egyptian mythology then you would
believe in Seth and Osiris?

This doesn't really look like you feel any genuine need to believe in any
religion; it looks like you expect "others" to provide you with verified,
certified-correct worldview.

That's unfortunately a typical symptom of overdose on media and schooling.

You may read religious texts and if something sounds "right" stick to it. You
may act on the world, observe it and discover its rules. You may strive to
recognize others' influence on you and filter it critically. In any case, you
have to work.

Only lemmings get free lunch.

------
kabdib
I've had a couple friends taken out by cancer over the last 2-3 years. Each
time was pretty sudden; one I found out a month after he died, the other I had
maybe a day of warning. Both of these people were great engineers that I
looked up to, and it's still hard to believe they are gone.

Harlan Ellison has a rant, written when he was my current age, about how many
of his friends were dying and that it _sucked_. (I wish I could find what he
wrote but my books are all boxed up at the moment). He had eloquent and angry
and, well, Harlan-esque words for the experience.

I remember my friends when I can, and write about them from time to time so
that others can share my memories of how cool and great and human they were.
That's the best I can do.

------
Multics
If people donate nothing towards ameliorating diseases of ageing[0], then
what's to be expected?

People die. People get sick. Everyone you, and I, know is probably going to
suffer and perish.

The poor soul in the blog post sounds like he got struck down in his prime;
but rest assured, your time is coming in a matter of decades.

Accept death/disease or do something about it; but don't be shocked when it
happens! Statistically, it's going to happen in increasing rates as you, your
family, your friends, and everyone you know gets older.

Being blindsided by death is odd. A cognitive bias?: 'It won't happen to me'.
But, quite frankly, it most probably will!

[0] [http://www.sens.org/](http://www.sens.org/)

~~~
zo1
As someone that is overly conscious about my own mortality, and fear of it. I
can see it being much more preferable "in the moment" to be oblivious to such
things awaiting us. And at times I really don't understand why people aren't
afraid/concerned about their inevitable mortality.

However, I wouldn't personally choose such obliviousness. I'd rather know, and
perhaps plan for it, and do my best to mitigate it as far as I can.

~~~
Multics
You should check out longecity.org, if the subject interests you, zo1.

Edit: In particular, the forum!
[http://www.longecity.org/forum/](http://www.longecity.org/forum/)

~~~
zo1
Thanks for the link, I'll definitely check it out!

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wspeirs
I am in no way trying to downplay the severity of this post, but I had a very
different reaction when I read this. My reaction was, "Why did the head of the
division tell the group about his condition in detail?" Maybe it is because I
live in America, and maybe it is because I know someone who had cancer and was
reprimanded by HR for discussing his cancer -- and survival from it -- on an
internal work forum.

My preference would be to work in a place where people can talk openly about
their conditions, if they so choose. It seems like in the litigious country
where I live, this isn't possible.

Has anyone had similar experiences?

~~~
Loughla
If the employee discusses the illness on their own, there are no laws in the
US to say they can't. Where you get sticky is if you discuss it without their
consent. That's a big-time no-no.

I think you are either mixed up in the details, or have an overly aggressive
HR rep.

~~~
wspeirs
I know the guy personally. The company has Socialcast and someone posted a
fundraiser for a charity that helps people who are fighting cancer. My friend
posted saying basically, "I had cancer and this organization helped out my
family... try and help if you can." Someone from HR removed the comment and
told him he cannot talk about his medical details on the forum.

Agree though... one company, one comment, one HR dept; your milage will vary.

------
kumarski
That's a rough read mate.

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peter303
I didnt directly experience a death until my 40s. When I've talked about I've
run into even older people that have not directly experienced a death. We live
in age-stratified communities where death happens infrequently to young
adults. And we have a modern health system which has made death rare among
younger people. I had to be a care-giver for a few months. I learned a lot
about peole and medicine and dont regret it a bit.

------
james_fairhurst
Extremely sad news, with a kid on the way myself I can't even imagine what
Nicola's going through. Thanks for sharing such a tough post.

------
andrewhillman
"If you’re uncomfortable donating directly to an individual, please consider
making a donation to Cancer Society of New Zealand in Steven’s name."

They will need way more money than this. If uncomfortable giving to an
individual, you shouldn't feel this way because this is about giving money to
a family in need. This money needs to cover a lot of personal expenses and a
soon to be born child.

------
sidcool
Such instances always make me wonder if it's worth putting so much effort in
chasing dreams, when there are chances of I dying anyday, just like that.
Nothing else will matter.

~~~
steffan
These instances are exactly why it _is_ worth chasing your dreams. We are all
going to die, the issue is only _when_.

Don't you want to have spent your time doing something meaningful to you?

~~~
nnoitra
This is of course under the assumption that what you will do (in this case
work) has the capability of bringing meaning to yourself.

------
andrea_s
I'm having issues donating through the givealittle.co.nz service... My VISA
gets rejected. Does anybody know if it's possible to donate via PayPal?

~~~
benjamincburns
Even if it doesn't go through - thanks so much for the sentiment.

That said, Givealittle is located in New Zealand, and they're charging New
Zealand Dollars. It's likely your bank is blocking the foreign transaction, or
that they don't offer foreign currency conversion services.

If you're keen to donate I'd send a note to Givealittle's customer service.
I'm sure they'll get you sorted.

Thanks once again.

------
vegancap
Such a moving post. Really sad. I had to hold back the tears in the middle of
the office reading it! Always seems to happen to the best people.

------
scottndecker
Site is down. Anyone have a cached version?

~~~
Fuzzwah
Seems to be back up (at least it worked for me).

However, google has a cached version if you still need it:

[http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:8-vKw53...](http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:8-vKw53irssJ:www.benjamincburns.com/2014/11/30/from-
hacker-to-hospice-in-seven-weeks.html+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us)

------
imranq
one advice that has stuck with me:

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your
years.

Abraham Lincoln

~~~
BorgHunter
There's no evidence that Lincoln actually said this, although it remains good
advice.

[http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/07/14/life-years-
count/](http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/07/14/life-years-count/)

------
merrua
Kia kaha out to his family and friends.

------
sirduncan
This is absolutely heartbreaking.

------
michaelvkpdx
I'm sad for Steven and for all the other software engineers who tell similar
stories.

I don't have math or numbers on this- does anyone?- but I can tell from
personal experience that just about every time some software engineer my age
becomes mortally ill, it's brain cancer. There is something unstudied about
what we do that causes problems.

Personally, I had my biggest scare a couple years ago while I was working on a
deeply nested, recursive algorithm. Trying to keep the whole thing in my head
caused me to stay awake at night. Eventually, I had a fainting spell at a
sushi bar, an ambulance was called, and ultimately the doctor thought I'd had
a a massive heart attack.

This didn't turn out to be true, thank God, and they never found the
biological cause. But I swear to this day that it was the algorithm gnawing on
my brain. I don't know that I've been the same engineer since.

There's a terrible risk in our business and no one is researching it. I almost
feel like we software engineers are like 3 pack a day smokers before enough
science and research was done to prove to the public that smoking causes
cancer.

Software engineering can cause brain cancer.

~~~
michaelvkpdx
Downvoted to -3 for suggesting that software engineering can cause brain
cancer?

~~~
copperx
Software engineering is a new field, but mathematics isn't, and both require
intense bouts of thinking. Is there _any_ study that suggests that
mathematicians have a higher cancer rate? or for that matter, anyone that
thinks all day?

