
Why some men won't dance - pmoriarty
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-42100765
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Tade0
To be honest I never saw the appeal in this sort of activity. What made it
worse were people who insisted that I participate.

Interesting how this is one of the very few things were social pressure is
alive and well(as exemplified by the article, which fails to ask why should
people dance in the first place).

~~~
aunty_helen
Good point, perhaps it's because dance can be seen as a form of expression.

To a greater extent, if someone refused to talk but had the ability to you
would probably think something weird of them. But probably wouldn't question
that from a social pressure perspective.

~~~
dgreensp
“I’m going to go to the middle of the room and improvise some poetry, just say
whatever I’m moved to say in the moment, maybe riff on some motifs I’ve
adopted or invented on previous such occasions. Want to stand next to me and
do that too, at the same time? What? You don’t? Why not? Just be loose. Oh,
some music is coming on. Just sing whatever pops into your head. Sing it
confidently. No one’s listening.”

~~~
freelode
why some men won't rap battle.

------
singularity2001
'Over three quarters of British men say they have never or rarely danced' so
the title should be "why most men don't dance" or "why it's the norm for men
not to dounce"

PS: dancing with a beautiful girl can be the most wonderful thing in the
world, but dancig lonely just to get sweaty might not be as appealing.

so they should open up a "Grandpa's dance palace" where men pick women and
dance in pairs. or a campfire dance where men and women run around naked in
circles stamping their feet.

~~~
eesmith
I find that dancing with someone who can lead or follow well, and/or dancing
with someone who expresses happiness while dancing even when there are
stumbles and mistakes, is much more wonderful than beauty.

There are many other types of dancing besides with a partner and "dancing
lonely just to get sweaty." Line dancing doesn't have a partner - everyone
dances the same pattern. There are also group dances like Scottish country
dance or medieval dancing where the entire group ends up making complicated
figures.

Flamenco is a dance which needs no partner, where the goal is not just to get
sweaty.

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mcv
I used to be crap at dancing when I was a kid. At school dances, you mostly
had The Uncomfortable Disco Shuffle. And later slow dancing, which mostly
involved standing around uncomfortably holding a girl and not knowing what to
do.

Later I discovered punk, where dancing mostly involved jumping around a lot,
which I could do. Then came _Smells Like Teen Spirit_ , which alternated
jumping around with catching your breath (really the perfect dance song at the
time). At peak fitness, the Dropkick Murphy's _Pipebomb on Landsdowne_ was the
absolutely perfect dance song for me, but I can't dance to that anymore. Iggo
Pop's _Lust For Life_ taught me a more rock&roll-like swingy dance, and after
that, I could really dance to almost anything (except a house beat).

I don't know any formal swing or rock & roll dance, but I do enjoy dancing to
that music. My knowledge of formal dance steps is mostly from balfolk, but
that's a very different kind of experience.

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burnerOh2125
I remember a girl in high school told me I was a bad dancer and laughed at me.
She was a close friend, and danced all the time. For some reason it stuck, and
I really haven't danced after that...

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bayangan
We can dance if we want too.

~~~
sophont42
But if your friends don’t dance then they’re no friends of mine. ;)

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ionised
I've never enjoyed dancing, I just don't get anything from it.

It was a source of frustration when I was younger too, as most of my friends
would go on nights out and dance and I would be the one hanging out with the
smokers and talking shite. If someone asked me to dance, I would ask if they
would like to sit to talk for a bit.

Not that I haven' danced before, I have lots of times, trying to fit in. I'd
do it for a song, maybe a little more, then I got bored and wanted to talk to
somebody.

As I grew older I realised that 'nights out' that involved night clubs or
anything were just not my thing. I much preferred to sit around a table at a
pub with a load of friends and just chat shit. By that point I had stopped
trying to 'fit in' and ended up less stressed about ohaving some social
defect.

I must be missing the part of the brain that actually enjoys dancing, because
even when I'm listening to music I love I always prefer to actually sit and
listen to it intently rather than try to move to its rhythm.

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b0rsuk
If you absolutely refuse to dance, it may be a sign of schizotypical
personality disorder, or avoidant personality. These things can wreck your
life if you let them. At least read about them and be aware.

~~~
inteleng
Please don't post this sort of thing on a public forum.

~~~
SturgeonsLaw
I'm curious why you'd request OP not to post that? I tend to think that all
topics should be able to be freely discussed provided they're relevant, and
the conversation sincere.

~~~
eesmith
Implicit in your comment is the belief that the OP's comment was relevant and
sincere.

I don't believe it was. For one, it would mean a huge percentage of the
population has a schizotypical personality disorder, or avoidant personality.

For another, there is a strong cultural effect on dance popularity. There are
areas where dancing is banned due to religious prohibitions. (The movie
"Footloose" is based on that premise.)

While it's possible that, say, 0.01% of the people may not dance for reasons
the OP gave, it's very unlikely that the OP's argument has any significance.

~~~
b0rsuk
Schizotypal / Schizoid and avoidant are currently much less studied than
Asperger's Syndrome (which is becoming glamorous), depression, psychopathy,
schizofrenia or bipolar. How do you know ? There are reasons to believe
avoidant/schizotypal/schizoid can be related to childhood trauma. More than
0.01% have some kind of childhood trauma, and they mostly go undetected.

Zampano from the movie "La Strada" just screams "Schizotypal", but if you put
the two in a search engine - it hasn't occurred to anyone.

~~~
eesmith
Is your argument that there is a strong connection between people who don't
want to dance and people who are schizotypal/avoidant? Or are you no longer
talking about reasons why a large percentage of the male population does not
dance?

~~~
b0rsuk
I _never_ talked about why a large percentage of the male population does not
dance. It was something you invented and put in my mouth. It was a failure of
reading comprehension on your part, and you downvoted me for it. _I demand an
apology._

The article was: "Why some men won't dance". (Why some male animals have
tails) My post was: "Men who are schizotypal/avoidant don't dance. Read about
it to figure out if you are.". (Male cats have tails. Consider you might be a
cat.) Your response was: "He's saying all men who don't dance are
schizotypal/avoidant!" ("He's saying all male animals are cats!")

~~~
eesmith
"He's saying all men who don't dance are schizotypal/avoidant!"

I'm saying that I don't think your statement is diagnostic in any useful
sense.

While that might be the reason why some (a perhaps small number) males don't
dance, there are cultures where men do dance, and cultures where they do not,
and these percentages are quite large.

As such there must a strong cultural effect on why male do/don't dance, with
schizotypal/avoidant behavior a far smaller reason.

