
Ask HN: How to talk smart? - youngtolearn
I am always intrigued by people who talk smart. This could be James Bond, lead actor in &#x27;the spy&#x27; movie ( forgot his name) or Kevin Spacey in HoC and many more...
My current boss has somewhat similar quality about talking. 
All these people speak slowly and clearly, feels like they are doing calculated talk but always make lasting impression. Its not about winning or losing argument rather making the point, make other party 
think twice before they utter any word.<p>What can i do to aquire smart talk skill?
 Any books , podcasts I can listen to?<p>This skill is largely possessed by spys, diplomats,
political leaders, executives but I cant find enough resouces to attain such skill and master it.<p>As always, obligatory thanks in advance for all responses!
======
anigbrowl
Learn to control your own emotions. This may take many years of practice.
Meditation, martial arts, or many kinds of sports and skills can be good for
this. You will think better if you keep calm.

Listen very carefully to others. Maybe you will learn something, maybe they
just confirm your initial impression. Often people speak to express their
mood, not to convey information. Also, when people talk very passionately
about their opinions of other people, they are often speaking indirectly about
their feelings towards themselves.

Never interrupt. Never contradict, Never insult. These are low-value tactics
in a verbal conflict. By not using them, you make it much harder for other
people to use on you. If other people interrupt, contradict, or insult you,
ignore it. By 'contradict' I mean don't say 'No, that's wrong...' Just say the
correct thing and stop. So if someone says 'wheels are square, everybody knows
that,' just say 'wheels are round,' and stop talking.

In general, it's a good idea to say as little as possible until the other
person runs out of things to say, especially if they're angry.

Repeat what other people have told you. Ask simple questions, ideally with
yes/no or very definite answers. It will be much easier to tell if the other
person is lying. Also, ask questions that you already know the answer to, in
order to get the other person to follow the direction you want in
conversation. this is a technique trial lawyers use a lot.

When you use these techniques in an argument, it's like you step out of the
way if someone tries to hit you. The other person swings his fist - you move
aside. You can lead the person where you want to go by the way you move. They
waste their energy expressing anger or saying foolish things. When you speak,
you are very careful to say only things you are sure about.

Avoid trying to jump ahead of the conversation to guess what someone really
means or what their secret motivation is or anything like that. Often such
guesses are wrong, and in any case it often doesn't matter.

Smart people are never afraid to say 'I don't know' or 'I don't understand,
please explain' or 'I'm confused about ______.' If you make a habit to be
honest about this instead of pretending to understand something you don't,
you'll find it's hard to for other people to lie to you.

~~~
patrickdavey
Could you expand on "If other people interrupt, contradict, or insult you,
ignore it."

Do you mean if you're in mid-sentence and someone interrupts you that you
should continue talking as if they had not interrupted? I have someone I have
to deal with who does this a lot, and I really struggle with it. I have
pointed out the interruptions, and need to do so again, but interested to hear
your point of view (as I really liked your points above)

~~~
anigbrowl
I let people interrupt me, up to a point. When I was young I had a terrible
temper and I'm pretty quick verbally, so it was easy for a disagreement to
escalate into a fight as I would try to keep getting the upper hand.
Eventually I grew out of it. (Of course not every interruption is meant to be
confrontational or aggressive - my post above was slanted a bit towards those
situations, I think because of the James Bond reference :-) )

I'll let someone interrupt me 2 or 3 times. If it's with a question I can
answer in a single sentence I'll do so and move on, if it's complex then I'll
reply that 'I'm coming to that,' assuming of course that it's relevant. If
they're just venting without saying anything, I'll just reply 'I see.' and
move on. If a person persists in interrupting, I'll ask him (it's almost
always a guy thing) 'are you finished?' and ask again if necessary. If they
really can't help themselves, eventually I'll say 'look, I didn't interrupt
you when you were talking. Please show me the same courtesy.' That's generally
enough to make the point without raising the temperature. In a tense
conversation I'll also make a deliberate effort to slow down my speech. It
helps me stay calm and and it also gives my remarks more weight.

Although I talked about many situations involving verbal conflict, I'd like to
stress that I don't see it as a matter of winning and losing. Often
disagreements arise because people want to express their frustration but can't
see a constructive path to resolve differences of opinion or interest. De-
escalating the situation is a way to let the air out of the balloon slowly
instead of with a bang, and reduce people's stress level. Books on mediation
have lots of good techniques on this, and you can find mediation classes in
many major cities - going to a professional mediator is often cheaper and more
effective than getting into a lawsuit, so courts often encourage it.

I wouldn't claim to be some sort of conversational amster who never turns a
hair. I frequently yell at inanimate objects, my phone and so on :-)

~~~
patrickdavey
Yip, I think I just need to say something, he's actually a great guy, it's
just he gets interested in conversations and always has something to say. It's
not a dominance thing, just an interrupting thing.

I have become better at these sorts of conversations, but still struggle with
confrontation. One book I found _excellet_ was Crucial Conversations, really
really good.

------
Xcelerate
LISTEN. LISTEN. LISTEN.

And actually pay attention.

It's astounding how much people suck at this simple task. Lately I'm beginning
to feel like most of my conversations go like this: I'll begin talking with
someone about a certain topic (that I clearly thought was important enough to
share), and about two sentences into my discourse, the phone in their pocket
buzzes. So of course they pull it out and start typing.

I pause.

"Go on, I'm listening," they'll say, waving their hand up at me from their
phone. Doubtful, I continue speaking. But then some car outside honks and of
course they have to turn around to see what all the commotion was about. Then
they notice a cute dog walking by. "Oh! Look at that terrier! My friend has
one just like it. I think I might get a dog soon." Then they go back to typing
on their phone.

Again, I pause.

Realizing they're not going to prompt me to resume this time, I take the
initiative upon myself and continue where I left off. After a few more
sentences, I finish making my point and stop talking. And wait.

Then... nothing.

"...sooo?" I inquire.

"Uhh.. so what?" They stare back at me blankly.

"Sooo... what do you think about all that?" _(along with an implied "I
wouldn't have wasted my breath speaking if I didn't value your input and seek
your feedback. Why else would I vocalize in your direction?")_

"Um, uhh... I don't know. I guess you're probably right. Oh, by the way, do
you want go to [random sports event] this weekend? Me and a few friends are
probably going to go, and we can get tickets cheaper if we pay by Tuesday."

I worry that in a few more years I'll just quit speaking altogether.

~~~
obstinate
Another important thing is to know what is more engaging than a text message
to your conversation partner. (If the answer is nothing, then maybe stop
talking to that person.)

~~~
pjc50
This doesn't work if the conversation is important to you but not to them,
such as if you need their input on something.

~~~
orthecreedence
If you _need_ their input, you tell them to put the phone down and please
focus. I've had to do this with my friend. I love him to death, but he can't
keep his hands off his phone during a conversation.

A calm, steady "hey, I'd really like your focus right now" works wonders.

A lot of this comes down to value. When someone you're talking to pulls their
phone out mid-conversation, they are devaluing you over whatever idiotic
notification they got. If it's a one-on-one conversation with them, depending
on the situation you can start doing something of value to you and put them on
hold until _you 're_ ready to talk again. However if this happens at a party
or something, you can just leave and talk to another set of people. Don't get
too hung up on trying to prove a point or have a passionate talk with someone
who just isn't there. Move on and have the conversation (or another one!) with
someone else.

There are 7 billion people on Earth. If one of them is being an ass with their
phone, move on to the next person. If you are already invested in that person,
let them know you want their focus.

And also, please don't be that person. If someone is talking to you and your
phone buzzes, ignore it. Life goes on. Trust me. If you're expecting a call
you need to take, preface any conversation with "Hey I might need to take a
call soon." Common sense manners and politeness go a long way.

------
paragraft
Consider that those fictional characters have professional writers doing all
their lines. It helps a lot.

------
aaronbrethorst
You don't say whether or not you're a native English speaker, but...

    
    
        I am intrigued by erudite speakers. This could be Sean Connery portraying
        James Bond, Kevin Spacey in House of Cards, or many others both
        real and fictional, including my current manager. They speak slowly and
        clearly, with carefully chosen words that feel calculated, but they always
        manage to make a lasting impression.
    
        I'd love to be able to engage my manager in a style of speaking similar to
        his. How can I improve my skills in this area? Are there particular books
        I could read, or podcasts to which I could listen? And, as always, thank
        you in advance for your advice!
    

My advice:

    
    
        1. Spellcheck.
        2. Read what you write out loud to yourself, and edit anything that doesn't
        feel 'natural.'
        3. Brevity.
        4. Read more.
        5. Write more. 
        6. Try taking public speaking courses. Maybe check
        out your local Toastmasters group:
        http://www.toastmasters.org

~~~
geowwy

      > I am intrigued by erudite speakers. This could be Sean Connery portraying
      > James Bond, Kevin Spacey in House of Cards, or many others both
      > real and fictional, including my current manager. They speak slowly and
      > clearly, with carefully chosen words that feel calculated, but they always
      > manage to make a lasting impression.
      >
      > I'd love to be able to engage my manager in a style of speaking similar to
      > his. How can I improve my skills in this area? Are there particular books
      > I could read, or podcasts to which I could listen? And, as always, thank
      > you in advance for your advice!
    

Don't take this the wrong way, but that doesn't sound smart to me. It sounds
like someone trying to sound smart.

~~~
ChristianBundy
You're right, it sounds forced – very unnatural.

------
davismwfl
Listen more, speak less. I can't say I have mastered it myself either. But
what I learned in watching others that have that trait is they listen
intensely and then respond appropriately with as few words as needed. I am
working on the as few words as needed, but that's my two cents.

As for what to look for. Honestly, there are probably some books, but I don't
have any recommendations. Instead I'd say, try speaking less, listen more and
only say something when you have a point or a reason to speak. And try to be
concise and to the point. That is probably 90% of the entire thing you are
seeking.

------
bonobo3000
Its about 2 things - content and delivery.

Content - this is similar to what davismwfi said i.e what you're saying
actually has to be smart, and directly address the topic very well. Don't beat
around the bush, laser focus and say exactly what is required.

Delivery - This is about confidence. Speak slowly, calmly and clearly, keep an
upright, open posture and directly look at the other person. Expect that the
other person will listen because you have something valuable to say (and the
content should match this caliber). Speaking slowly, taking up space with your
body, eye contact - all of these things signal assertiveness/confidence.

You can work on delivery all the time, but don't expect to come off like Bond
all the time because you have to know exactly what you're talking about, AND
the other person has to believe that (very hard in subjective matters unless
you've already established a great reputation) to pull that off. I think the
delivery should match your confidence about the content - for example, if you
sound super confident when you dont know what youre talking about people will
eventually peg you as a bullshitter.

------
Sharma
Knowledge speaks.

There is no trick to become smart talker. Just attain knowledge in the domain
you work or want to become "smart talker".

Once you know enough things about the topic you are discussing you thoughts
will be clear and concise.

So your question should be: "How do I become an expert in xyz field so that
everyone get a good impression when I talk?".

~~~
bjwbell
This!

There is no substitute for knowledge. Just look at Brendan Eich, if you listen
to some of his interviews he exhibits few of those attributes the OP poster
listed. But after listening to Brendan no one would doubt he is a lot smarter
than you or me (at least on technical matters).

------
Frondo
Something I haven't seen mentioned here yet:

Write.

Write essays, write long blog posts, write 500+ words a day.

Writing helps you learn to clarify, organize, and structure your thoughts.
Writing helps you think better.

(And, conversely, read! Read good writers. Read writers who write for the joy
of using language. Then work on making your own writing more playful! And,
sleep with a thesaurus under your pillow.)

------
posnet
One of the most straight forward things you can do to improve speaking, is to
simply speak more slowly. Now I do not mean careful pronouncing every word,
but instead focus on completing an entire thought before talking.

If you feel yourself beginning to ramble or becoming nervous. Simply pause, it
might seem counter intuitive, but know that you are not pausing for a long as
you think you are. And pausing is always better than 'umming' or 'aaahing'.

Also broaden your vocabulary, the best way is simply to read more books. So
that next time when you as 'how to talk smart' you instead say 'how do I speak
more cohesively'

~~~
Tideflat
On exception to the not saying "ummm" rule is when many other people want to
speak and you need to say "umm" to keep from losing your slot.

------
lsiebert
I think, personally, it's important to realize that there are anti-patterns
which people use to seem smart, yet which actually waste time, damage
relationships, and make you an asshole.

Focusing on being technically correct, when it's not germane to the issue at
hand. Don't use minor mistakes people make to try to "score points," by being
correct about some fiddly little detail. Being intelligent is not about
getting the high score on a technicality. It's about the real issues.

Another example: Don't mansplain. Talk to people as if there are equals, not
as if you are the ultimate authority, and engage with them. Talk to people,
not at people. The person you are talking to may well know more than you. Even
if they don't, they are worthy of respect, and giving them that respect will
make it easier to communicate with them, and your goal in opening your mouth
should be communicating, not enjoying the sound of your own voice.

This is especially important to watch for, because of largely unconscious
biases that culture gives us, when you talk to women, non native english
speakers, and cultural and ethnic minorities, even if cultural minority means:
"person who isn't from my state," or "guy who is older and in a suit," That
person who isn't from your state may be a celebrated professor in Ohio doing
ground breaking research. That old person may have been there when they
invented what you are talking about.

see
[http://tim.dreamwidth.org/1890351.html](http://tim.dreamwidth.org/1890351.html)
for more.

------
kelukelugames
3 simple tricks to be more charismatic. Are you ready?

Step 1. Breathe in and breathe out before you speak. The pause makes you more
composed. Plus the speaker will think you are a good listener.

Step 2. Don't nod you head more than once per sentence when listening to other
people. Too much head movement reflects insecurity and immaturity.

Step 3. Don't rise your inflection at the end of a sentence. Makes you sound
like an insecure valley girl.

Source:

[http://www.amazon.com/Charisma-Myth-Science-Personal-
Magneti...](http://www.amazon.com/Charisma-Myth-Science-Personal-
Magnetism/dp/1591845947/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431320744&sr=8-1&keywords=charisma+myth)

------
espitia
Read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie[1], never mind
the title. Written in 1936 and still relevant today. I've recommended to many
friends who come back feeling like they have superpowers, it's that good.
Personally, I've read it a few times now and still can't wait to read it
again.

[1][http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-
People/dp/15...](http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-
People/dp/1508569754)

------
bobosha
One of the best pieces of advice I have heard - and admittedly this is in the
context of a presentation - is, "state what you will present, present, and
state what you presented".

~~~
stan_rogers
The traditional way of putting it is, "tell 'em what you're going to tell 'em,
tell 'em, then tell 'em what you told 'em." It's an awful lot older than
Powerpoint. It was probably old before Carnegie got hold of it.

------
dropit_sphere
I'm going to waffle a bit and say that it's not technique; it's an _effect_.

Further, it's not always an effect with a reasonable cause. Have a $5 billion
exit, for instance, and I will listen in rapt attention to anything you say
that's not asinine. Perhaps not if you write it to the public of HN, but in a
private conversation? I'd be impressed, flattered, etc., not necessarily
because of what was said or how it was said, but because of who said it.
There's a reinforcing effect here where the more leeway the listener gives
you, the more rhetorical risks you'll feel like you can take.

Which brings me to my next point: be less accurate. This is a habit (good?
bad?) that hackers can pick up because we deal with computers that _do_ care
about accuracy and _don 't_ care about rhetorical effect.

The harder part here is sacrificing your self-image of someone who doesn't
bullshit.

------
PeterWhittaker
Be comfortable with silence.

Listen, and appear to be listening. (You may in fact be preparing your
response _on the inside_ , but your face and body should show that you are
listening.)

When the other finishes speaking, pause to reflect. Whether you reflect or not
is up to you, you might just be practicing your Clint Eastwood stare.

After a pause, acknowledge what was said, briefly (without paraphrasing or
rehashing, unless you want to be a politician), then speak, making your point
briefly. Pause while you speak, speak slowly (but not so much more slowly than
the general flow of conversation that it becomes noticeable in and of itself).

These tips will give the appearance of consideration and engagement.

The rest is up to you. Have something to say. If you don't, say nothing.
Remember the Lesser Known Walken Principle: _When I don 't know what to do, I
do nothing_.

(The Better Known Walken Principle is _More cowbell_. FYI.)

------
lmartel
The single best piece of advice I've been given is "in conversation, always
wait two seconds before responding."

It gives you time to think (and avoid saying something stupid), and also makes
everything you say seem thoughtful, even when it isn't. You'll also instantly
become "a great listener"

------
andrewchambers
"Talk smart" is not exactly a good way to describe this.

You should be able to improve by simply slowing down and considering what you
want to say before you say it.

~~~
ChuckMcM
I think this is the best advice, and combine it with don't say anything if you
don't have anything to add.

------
orthecreedence
A lot of this comes down to confidence. How comfortable are you with yourself?
A lot of our communication is non verbal. How slow and steady you talk. How
your body opens up to or turns away from others. Do you lean in, or are you
leaning away? Are your eyes bugging with excitement or are they half open and
disinterested?

A lot of the people who "talk smart" are actually moving smart. Chin slightly
up, shoulders back, arms uncrossed, slightly leaning back. This all projects
confidence, and if you are exuding confidence, people listen to you. That's
assuming you have something interesting to say =].

Another thing you can do to project confidence is to _actually be confident._
This is earned by accomplishing hard things in your life, and putting in a lot
of spiritual work to be happy with who you are as a person. You can lean back
and hold your head up as much as you want, but if you're insecure or unsure of
yourself, you will come across as a phony.

Be the person you want to be. Be the person who is exactly where you are
supposed to be _right now_ both in mind and spirit. Confidence will follow.
And so will conversation.

Another thing you can do is to just be a great listener. Don't just wait for
your chance to speak. If you have a _really great point_ you want to bring up
but the conversation diverges, take a breath, and let it go. Slow your mind
and be present.

Charm and wit take practice. So if you want to be good, go to a lot of parties
with different types of people and talk to everyone you can. Practice,
practice, practice. Nobody ever got good at this stuff by sitting at home
listening to podcasts. Get out there are start conversations with people.
Learn to intuit people's moods. Is this person sad? Maybe they lost someone
recently. Talk about loss. Relate to them. Is this person happy? Bring up a
cool experience you had and see if they'll share one they had. This kind of
intuition comes from practice, from learning to read bodies and faces and
moods.

Keep in mind I'm not an expert, but as an introvert I've been working on all
this for a long, long time.

Good luck =].

------
iyn
Great question, thanks for asking this! Love the responses so far.

This doesn't answer the question, but this video gives great perspective on
how one can be perceived depending on his body language:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rk_SMBIW1mg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rk_SMBIW1mg)

It's not always about words, body language is very important in making the
impression.

~~~
nico
Great insight. There's also a very good class about body language on Udemy
([https://www.udemy.com/body-language-for-
entrepreneurs/](https://www.udemy.com/body-language-for-entrepreneurs/)). Body
language has a huge impact in the way other people perceive us.

A cool exercise is having a conversation only by listening very attentively to
what the other person is saying (never, ever, breaking eye contact, being
present all the time) and just making different facial expressions without
saying a single word.

------
maratd
> All these people speak slowly and clearly

Perhaps, you too, should speak slowly and clearly. Use adjectives. Add a bit
of color and side-story.

Our brains have a speed limit. It's mostly the same for pretty much everybody,
but some of us have learned the skill of slowing down the conversation.

If you slow the conversation down, you have more time to think and come up
with something witty to say.

So, speak slowly, add adjectives, add color and side-stories, metaphors, I can
go on, but you get the picture.

Do not add stupidity like "like", "you know", "uhmmm", etc.

That's your brain freezing up because you're moving too fast and it is trying
to compensate by inserting noise to slow down the conversation. Slow down the
conversation deliberately and clearly by adding context.

~~~
wingerlang
> Do not add stupidity like "like"...

Ironic, is it?

~~~
maratd
My attempt at humor.

------
nico
There are many factors. Mostly I would say it has to do with first acquiring
the necessary self-confidence and then practicing a lot (which is also a big
part of acquiring a lot of confidence).

A very good book, with lots of exercises (that you should practice often if
you really want to get better) is The Charisma Myth
([http://www.amazon.com/Charisma-Myth-Science-Personal-
Magneti...](http://www.amazon.com/Charisma-Myth-Science-Personal-
Magnetism/dp/1591845947/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431318586&sr=8-1&keywords=charisma+myth)).

Good luck in your learning journey!

------
Varkiil
Ad populum, ad hominem, ad personam... Those are argumentations that make you
lose all credibilty so try not using them.

The most important part after this is being honest, things must come out
naturally just as shown by lies detectors. When you try to lie your brain
makes a lot more effort so don't do it and your speech will be way smoother
and won't tend to contradict itself.

It counts for extrapolation too, be honest about your knowledge or you will
make a fool of yourself

------
auganov
Most comments seem a bit too focused on the content. What I'd do is just get
some sound clips that you like, put them into something Adobe Audition. Record
yourself trying to mimic them, compare the relevant graphs
(pitch/time/loudness one being the most relevant probably), you should quickly
develop an understanding of what vocally makes them sound the way they do. I
did that a bit to examine accents in different languages.

------
mapster
My impression is that there is (a) smart and (b) appearing smart. There are
many tactics to win the popularity contest: conning people into believing you
are smart, but if asked they couldn't put their finger on why they vote you as
smartest in the room.

So, many of the tactics listed by others in this thread are to con others, and
maybe that has more value since the interest may be in climbing the social
ladder in a corporate culture.

------
cafard
I'm tempted to say, take acting lessons and hire good screenwriters.

Less flippantly: start by knowing what you have to say. Eliminate the trivia
in favor of the main points. Come back to the main points more than once. One
of my brother's law school professors suggested watching televangelists. I
know I learned something from my brother's quotations of his instructors at
Officer Candidate School.

------
sliverstorm
It's mentioned offhand in some of the replies here, but one simple thing that
will do a lot for you:

Eliminate "umm" (and all filler words) from your speech.

It's a devil of a habit to break, and for most people takes great focus & the
cooperation of your peers (to point out to you when you slip) but it makes you
sound sharper and _forces_ you to think more carefully about what you say.

~~~
brc
I wish I could eliminate 'like' from my conversation. I do try and make a
conscious effort to reduce 'umm' and 'err' but someone 'like' keeps slipping
into casual conversation.

I'm much better in professional settings and I have a tendency to pause when
stuck, rather than fill in with filler words. Casually and socially I'm much
more likely to fall back on useless terms.

It is a very tricky habit to escape. I wonder if you could build an all for
that, that listened to your speech and buzzed when it picked up filler words?

~~~
sliverstorm
Find a few friends who also would like to quit using filler words. Monitor
each other. Have some keyword you say when somebody just said a filler word.

------
mikekchar
One effective technique is to speak less often. I fail dramatically on this
one, but it is something I have been trying to work on. A technique used by
Japanese businessmen is to have one of their juniors do all their talking at a
meeting. They just sit and observe and occasionally whisper one or two words
to their colleague.

------
GBond
The answer varies depending on cultural context. i.e. Long silences are OK in
eastern cultures and reflects deep thought and contemplation but awkward in
Western. Name dropping enhances the speaker's reputation to an extend in
western cultures but too "showy" in eastern cultures.

------
stevewilhelm
I am surprised no one else has mentioned: know what you are talking about.

The smartest people I have ever met speak well because they know the subject
matter. They are also comfortable admitting what they do not know.

And as others have mentioned: read a great deal of well written books or plays
and attend some writing classes.

------
fsloth
Audible has a few lecture series from the "Great courses" which I found
helpful in this subject: _Effective communication skills_ , _How conversation
works: 6 lessons for better communication_ , _Influence: Mastering life 's
most powerful skill_

------
20kleagues
Talk to yourself often. Have loud arguments with yourself. It improves
coherence, because you can easily tell if you are babbling or stalling. This
practice is enough to to set you on the path to 'talk smart'.

------
shakeel_mohamed
I think generally reading, learning & connecting with more people will help
you to link ideas from very different aspects of life. The more you know, the
more interesting conversations you can have. Just my 2 cents

------
Opossum
This TED Talk by Julian Treasure is a great starting point:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIho2S0ZahI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIho2S0ZahI)

------
Simulacra
Speak slower. I once read that the slower someone talks the more people
believe them, the more mature and thoughtful they sound, and belief in their
accuracy was improved.

------
qntty
Why would do you want to talk differently? I think you should forget about the
whole thing. People who try to effect others in a particular way end up
looking silly.

~~~
adrusi
I'm going to assume (hope) that the mistakes in your comment are intended to
be ironic.

That's just wrong though. It can be incredibly useful to think about how you
communicate and try to change. Trying to ape someone else's communication
might be doomed to failure, but you should reflect on your own communication,
on specific cases where you felt interaction went especially well or poorly,
and see what you can learn from them. If you think about it often enough,
eventually you'll just start using the ideas you come up with in your regular
communication naturally.

------
fiatmoney
Take voice lessons. They are relatively cheap and very effective at allowing
you to "sound impressive".

~~~
andwang
What are voice lessons? Where would I be able to find them?

~~~
fiatmoney
'Voice lessons' are what actors, politicians, etc. take to make themselves
sound authoritative - teaching cadence, intonation, vocal range, emphasis,
accents, etc. You should be able to find them at acting schools or local
community colleges, but there are a lot of freelance coaches out there. You
might also find them under "voice coach" or "vocal instruction". Actually,
taking acting lessons may be worth it as well.

------
pervycreeper
Only express ideas which you understand thoroughly and clearly, and do it in
the simplest way possible.

------
mindcrime
A few thoughts:

1\. Improv classes (see discussion elsewhere in this thread)

2\. Vocabulary - sounding "smart" doesn't necessarily mean "using lots of big
words", but vocabulary does matter. If your speech is littered with too many
"filler" words like "stuff" and other vague terms, you sound less informed
than if you use more precise terminology. Having comprehensive domain
knowledge in the field your discussing and knowing the vernacular, can help a
lot.

3\. I think you can learn a lot by listening to, or reading, speeches and
essays by great orators and communicators. You can almost think of this as
"modeling" in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming, not Natural Language
Processing) terms. If you think Obama, or Bill Clinton, or Martin Luther King,
or Elon Musk, or Vladimir Putin, whoever, is a great communicator, search out
and listen to and read their speeches. Winston Churchill is somebody
interesting in this regard, because there's quite a bit of his stuff available
online for free.

[http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/medialist.php?presid=42](http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/medialist.php?presid=42)

[https://archive.org/details/Winston_Churchill](https://archive.org/details/Winston_Churchill)

4\. "It's not what you say, it's how you say it." This quote is used a lot in
the "pickup artist" scene, and there's a lot of truth to it. Delivery is
crucial. This means tonality, volume, cadence, body language, everything.
Something as simple as your posture effects how you communicate with other
people. There is a lot of material out there on this, but a popular source is
something called the "Alexander Technique". There are also a lot of books on
body language. And there are voice coaches who can help fix quirks with your
voice itself.

5\. There's an old saying "the best way to learn to write well is to write a
lot and read a lot" (paraphrased slightly). I think the same thing holds if
you transform it to "the best way to learn to speak well is to speak a lot and
read and listen a lot". Join Toastmasters (or find some other venue where you
can speak in public) and start preparing and giving talks and speeches. Then
turn around and consume as many talks and speeches as you can, and pay
attention to the details of how the people who impress you speak. You can
probably find some great TED talks and the like online to model from.

6\. It sounds like an outdated idea, and it may offend the sensibilities of
some reading this, but your physical appearance matters as well. If you look
physically imposing, people have a tendency to be (at least slightly) more
deferential and pay more attention to you. There was a book, I _think_ by Bo
Dietl, where the author made the point that "You always get more respect when
it appears that you could kick the ass of anybody at the table". I'm not
saying you need to get Arnold Schwarzenegger huge, but being physically fit
has a lot of benefits. Lifting a few weights here and there might be a bad
idea. Broad, strong shoulders, muscular arms, a thick neck, decent chest,
etc., that give of an appearance of vitality and strength are probably good
things to have.

7\. Another thing to consider: If you find people have a tendency to cut you
off and start talking over you, do not be afraid to make a little gesture
(hold up a hand with your index finger, or index and middle fingers, pointing
upward) and/or simply say "Hang on, I'm not finished yet" or "please let me
finish making my point".

8\. To revisit the NLP thing a moment... there's a LOT of material out there
on using very specific speech patterns and linguistic constructs to help get
your point across, effect other people's mental states, manage conversations,
etc. There's book after book on this, but for starters, I'd look for "Sleight
of Mouth" by Robert Dilts, "Reframing" by Richard Bandler, "The Persuasion
Skills Black Book" by Rintu Basu, and "Pitching Anything" by Oren Klaff.

[http://www.amazon.com/Sleight-Mouth-Robert-
Dilts/dp/09169904...](http://www.amazon.com/Sleight-Mouth-Robert-
Dilts/dp/0916990478)

[http://www.amazon.com/Reframing-Neuro-Linguistic-
Programming...](http://www.amazon.com/Reframing-Neuro-Linguistic-Programming-
Transformation-
Meaning/dp/0911226257/ref=pd_sim_14_26?ie=UTF8&refRID=1RFER987X8585VWWHM53)

[http://www.amazon.com/Persuasion-Skills-Black-Book-
Practical...](http://www.amazon.com/Persuasion-Skills-Black-Book-
Practical/dp/190543054X/ref=pd_sim_14_23?ie=UTF8&refRID=008NMDW51GYVNE0RNEMR)

[http://www.amazon.com/Pitch-Anything-Innovative-
Presenting-P...](http://www.amazon.com/Pitch-Anything-Innovative-Presenting-
Persuading/dp/0071752854/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1431319876&sr=1-1&keywords=pitch+anything)

------
time4hn
Talk with smart people. Get off your computer.

------
bvanslyke
Hm, as a professional spy, I don't know... it just comes naturally.

------
maddox1298
ass

