
Ask HN: Is it inappropriate to ask why I was rejected from a job? - VolatileVoid
I recently interviewed for a software developer position. While I thought the interview went reasonably well (not great, but not bad either), I was turned down from the job.<p>I accept the decision that was made, but I'd like to know why. I'd like to know why because if there's some skill or concept I'm lacking as a developer, I'd like to fix that, so that I can do better at my next interview - wherever that may be.<p>Even if the feedback is, "you have no business being a developer," I'd want to hear it. Is it inappropriate of me to ask why I was rejected?
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gojomo
Sure, ask, but ask right -- and "why was I rejected" is probably wrong.

In all likelihood, you weren't 'rejected' as much as someone else was
'selected' as being better matched to their needs.

So the proper, non-neurotic way to ask would be something like: "Thanks for
your consideration. I was very enthusiastic about your position and it's still
the kind of job I'd like to find. Can you share with me any ways I could be a
better candidate for similar positions in the future?"

This gives the best chance they'll mention a couple things important in their
evaluation where you could improve. (If you're really lucky, they may mention
the exact things that caused them to prefer someone else.)

Also: don't take it personally if they say little, if at all. A sentence or
two may be the most to hope for unless you have a strong relationship with an
insider. Most organizations are risk-averse in hiring and being too detailed
in a "sorry, you're not hired" explanation risks triggering resentment,
argument, possibly even a lawsuit.

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jacquesm
For sure. Keeping the channels open is always good, and to ask for the reason
for your refusal is a great way to do so, as well as a chance to learn some
more about the whole process.

Not all companies would respond to such a request though, because they're
afraid that if you get your reason you will sue them under some equal
opportunity rule or some such, so be prepared that you will not get an answer,
or make it clear in your request somehow without laying it on too thick that
you are asking out of curiosity.

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nathanb
I got two rejections when on the job hunt: one told me that their policy was
to not discuss the reason any candidate was rejected and the other gave me
very general reasons that I didn't find helpful (and were probably chosen by
the recruiter because they weren't actionable). Even though they weren't very
usueful, in neither case did it make anything _worse_ , so I say go for it.

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lsc
asking is fine, but if the company is more than just one guy, don't expect
them to answer. From what I understand, it's a liability matter; telling
someone why they weren't hired can get the employer in a lot of hot water if
the reason was a questionable one.

But really, you should treat it a lot like dating; even an attractive person
is going to need to ask several attractive members of the appropriate sex
before finding someone for whom the feeling is mutual.

In either case, don't take rejection too hard; there are plenty of fish in the
sea. Again, extending the dating metaphor, it's considered better to find
yourself someone who likes who you happen to be than to try to modify yourself
to a particular person's preferences. Sure, improve yourself, but improve
yourself in general rather than just bending to the preferences of one entity.

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bavcyc
Ask but as another has mentioned, ask what you can do to make yourself a
better candidate for that type of position.

But realize that it is only one company and might not reflect reality in other
companies. Better to ask many people what they are looking for in co-workers
and employees.

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ErrantX
Dont expect to hear a valid response :) but I see no reason why you should ask
(as long as you phrase it in the right way).

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yan
What have you got to lose?

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bkbleikamp
I've always asked. The worst they can do is not respond.

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Ardit20
I asked once and they offered me a job with a shorter period. I asked once
again for another position and the feedback they gave me was really helpful.
So, I totally would ask.

