
Full Body Teleportation System - albertzeyer
https://patents.google.com/patent/US20060071122A1
======
52-6F-62
Oh boy. This could be hours of fun down the rabbit hole.

Profiles on the "inventor" include:

[https://steemit.com/history/@scubasteve/who-is-inventor-
john...](https://steemit.com/history/@scubasteve/who-is-inventor-john-quincy-
st-clair)

[https://zapatopi.net/blog/?post=200604284330.st_clair_hyperi...](https://zapatopi.net/blog/?post=200604284330.st_clair_hyperinventor)

And you don't wade in. It's a hard head-first dive off the 30-footer.

~~~
PavlovsCat
> a pendulum (A) held in the left hand over the right hand will spin in the
> counterclockwise direction due to the hyperspace energy vortex (B) emanating
> from the palm of the right hand. This vortex arises because human beings are
> hyperspace energy beings that live in physical containers located in this
> universe. The vortex might be considered a wormhole between space and
> hyperspace. Notice that the angular momentum vector of the vortex points up
> out of the palm of the hand. If the hand were spinning from left to right,
> then there would be a force exerted, as shown by the above equation, that
> would bring hyperspace energy into the right arm.

[http://appft1.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-
Parser?Sect1=PTO2&u=%2Fn...](http://appft1.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-
Parser?Sect1=PTO2&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsearch-
adv.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&d=PG01&p=1&S1=20040200925)

I see stuff like that and I'm out -- without the feeling of having missed
_anything_.

~~~
52-6F-62
Oh you're not missing anything. It's just fun for people who like to read woo-
woo as a brainless hobby. It's even better when they orators wear khaki vests
as if it somehow legitimizes what they're about to peddle.

------
itcrowd
I was interested in why it was rejected, the answer was funnier than expected:

 _The invention is not supported by a credible utility or well established
utility because the claims call for the generation of gravitational waves and
the interacting of the waves with hyperspace and the effects which are
asserted to come from such interactions. The existence of hyperspace is not
well proven or shown to exist in accordance with credible science and physics.
The use of hyperspace and gravitation waves in the claims therefore must be
backed up with significant scientific experimental data to firstly prove that
hyperspace interacting with gravitation waves produces some effect and
secondly that the applicant has the ability to harness such interaction for a
useful purpose and can demonstrate such on demand._

 _Also the existence of wormholes and the generating of wormholes is in
question currently in the scientific community and as such these claims must
be backed with proof through scientific data and description_

 _[...]_

 _The examiner maintains that the present invention does not conform to known
scientific principles [...]_

etc. etc.

edit to add the source:
[https://globaldossier.uspto.gov/#/details/US/10953212/A/8753...](https://globaldossier.uspto.gov/#/details/US/10953212/A/87539)
(click on "non-final rejection")

~~~
jobigoud
>> the present invention does not conform to known scientific principles

Nutjob aside, does that mean you can't patent an invention if you don't fully
understand _why_ it works?

I wouldn't be surprised if there were patents granted for things physically
impossible. And on the other hand I would bet there were inventions in the
course of history that defied the then-current known science.

~~~
idrae
You can patent things even if you don't know exactly why it works. However a
patent has to enable others to create the thing that is patentend.

That is to say, somebody who is up to date in the field should be able to
create the invention using the knowledge from the field plus the details in
the patent.

See:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sufficiency_of_disclosure](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sufficiency_of_disclosure)

------
ineedasername
Guy daydreams, walks past his bus stop. Attributes the event to spontaneous
teleportation due to pulsed gravitational waves generated by a nearby plane.
15 years later, the internet (well, HN at least) gets some lolz.

~~~
Groxx
> _It is obvious from the above scenario that the airplane momentarily
> crossing perpendicular to the road generates the aforementioned pulse._

Many lolz

------
bhmckendrick
I was preparing myself to go on a rant about the evils of the US IP
infrastructure - copyrights, patents, etc... Until I checked the patent
application again and saw it was REJECTED. Why are we talking about this ? If
I want to glimpse into the mind of a lunatic, I'll call my mother ... (love
you mom)

~~~
aeternum
Maybe given the state of US IP infrastructure, the system working properly for
once is actually newsworthy.

------
Rexxar
We have all seen a lot of accepted but impossible patents but is there any
known refused patents of valid invention because the examiners didn't
understood the science behind it ?

------
nabla9
Sometimes mental illness leaves trail of legal and technical documents behind.
Patent was never granted.

------
oneepic
<points at nearby mountain>"Wanna see me run to that mountain and back?"

"...Wanna see me do it again?"

\-- Spongebob Squarepants, aka The Quickster

EDIT: This got downvoted in <1 minute, so I have to assume the Quickster was
watching this thread too

~~~
joemi
It probably was downvoted because humorous comments that seem to be just for
humor's sake usually aren't considered to add to the discussion. That's not to
say that they never can, but it seems fairly uncommon.

------
mv4
Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

~~~
ozzmotik
ah yes, a great old cultural phenomenon. for those who haven't seen it, Whang!
did an episode on this for his Tales from the Internet series that I highly
recommend: [https://youtu.be/rj9acDtMooA](https://youtu.be/rj9acDtMooA)

------
jammygit
Which patent officer reviewed and granted this?

~~~
greensoap
None.

The application was rejected by the USPTO. And the applicant Abandoned the
application. It will never become a patent.

This is a non-story. The application was filed by someone who willingly spent
their money. The USPTO rejected it. And now its on the front of Hackernews.

~~~
derefr
Why are you interpreting this post as an attempt at news? It's almost-
certainly an attempt at ridicule.

------
Belphemur
Quite interesting to see his other "works":

* Walking through walls training system * Internet accessible mail box system * Permanent magnet propulsion system * etc...

[https://patents.google.com/?assignee=St+Clair+John+Q](https://patents.google.com/?assignee=St+Clair+John+Q)

------
batcan
What's funny is we are trying to Pierce through into a mirror dimension in
Tennessee right now, for science, and you guys think this dude's a lunatic for
his ideas lol.

------
newsreview1
and again we see the effects of LSD upon work creativity.

------
edoo
I didn't think they gave out patents for hallucinations or science that can't
be reproduced.

~~~
pdonis
Your faith in the sanity and diligence of the patent office is touching, but
misplaced. :-)

