
Ask HN: Educating a child who is severely behind - jwdunne
I am in a relationship with a lady who has a 3 year old son. I've grown to love him like he's my own child.<p>It's clear that he's behind in terms of development due to lack of attention in the first two years of his life, for reasons I don't completely blame his mother but reasons I don't feel are appropriate to disclose.<p>I'm currently focusing on helping his speech and potty training as a priority, with helping in other areas and being a general father figure. I believe my efforts have paid off because I've been told his rate of development has been remarkable since I became involved.<p>I was just wondering if anybody who has a child or has studied this area has any extra ideas for my to try? Are there any techniques or methods I can employ to help his development along further?<p>I'm asking here because this is hacker news and its going to take a seriously effective and elegant hack to get this kid where he needs to be a d further. I can't stand to see a clearly intelligent child locked behind a wall of impeded speech and behaviours typical to a 1 year old.<p>I eventually want to to teach him the wonders of computers and how to tell them what to do. It will be very hard if we can't communicate effectively.
======
kvnn
Don't look for hacks. Look for ways to instill healthy habits and skills that
he can use for the rest of his life. I'm glad you brought up potty training
and speech, because those are both great examples.

For speech, I recommend having conversations with him as you would an adult,
and try to keep eye contact often enough that he sees your mouth as you speak.
Don't hound him on mis pronunciations but feel free to correct him as you
would a friend who is trying to learn English. Be as sensitive as you would be
toward a friend if he gets frustrated or ashamed.

For potty training, he'll need a solid week at home with a toilet he is
comfortable going in. Don't take him somewhere unless you can bring the toilet
with you. I've brought it in the car before :O . Keep him naked or in regular
underwear and be clear what the goal is. sometimes a treat after going in the
potty works well. Someone will have to run him to the bathroom at times.

For whatever he likes (dinosaurs, animals, trucks), work on the names of
different types. Flash cards work well : [http://www.amazon.com/Animals-All-
Kinds-Flash-Cards/dp/09382...](http://www.amazon.com/Animals-All-Kinds-Flash-
Cards/dp/0938256971/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369726249&sr=1-4&keywords=Children%27s+cards+animals)
. My daughter loves going through those while eating - she asks for them and
we treat them like a reward for eating her food by herself (one bite, one
card). She happens to not really like food.

Get good nutrition going immediately. Vegetables, fruit, and everything else
you eat (stomache, allergy and spice issues permitting). Don't start juice if
he isn't used to it, and water it down if he is.

Get the mom on the same page. And, remember, he's not your son. If you are
going to treat him as your son, do what you can to make that official so that
the risks of losing him are reduced. Marry, adopt, whatever. Or be cognizant
to distance yourself a bit and be like an uncle.

I'm just a dad, not an expert. Ask away and let me know if anything sounds
off. Where are you located?

Good luck :) . Thanks for making the world bettah.

~~~
kvnn
And, there is no rush. Do not rush. The goal is to create a happy, healthy and
capable person - not an impressive 5 year old. This is coming from someone
who's wife spends most of her time educating and caring for his kids, who are
therefore advanced relative to peers: it's not that important.

It IS important for kids to have caretakers who give them attention,
opportunity to be capable for life and economy, and a happy and stimulating
environment.

Working towards these things with your kid is literally more important than
these things making your kid more developed.

Also: don't smoke or perform other bad habits around him. Nail biting,
drinking, getting angry, gossiping, etc. These are negative habits that will
rub off.

~~~
brudgers
We fretted over potty training when my son was two. His daycare[1] said, "We
take them all through it together in the two-and-a-half year old class." What
the hell was wrong with them? Some of his peers were using the potty at 18
months!

Dissecting this now, how far behind can a two year old be? Not very far if at
all. The severe outliers are two years behind - unable to hold up their heads.
Most everyone is in the middle on just about everything - there's a normal
range.

Now twelve, my son has been fully potty trained for many years. The important
things in his two year old class were singing and laughing and playing and
getting along with other kids and strategies for dealing with the times when
things didn't go his way.

My son dropped his bar of soap in the five year old musical! He wasn't moved
up to the U11 soccer team when he was nine! He got a B in sixth grade math
this spring!

Music or sports or academics every parent is a fool, and comparing one's
children to other children is a fool's game. I do it, still and know I'm being
a fool and I do it anyway.

[1] Oh eM Gee! Daycare? What the hell is wrong with us? How could we do this.
He'll probably get a B in Sixth Grade math because he blew off his homework
and be ruined for life!

------
jacquesm
> I can't stand to see a clearly intelligent child locked behind a wall of
> impeded speech and behaviours typical to a 1 year old.

Kids are different, each and every one of them. If all he does is not go to
the potty and you have to work at understanding him then things may not be as
bad as they seem and a 'crash program' to advance the child to match his peers
may not be what's called for. I've seen kids that were potty trained later
than this and I know at least several children that are clever but hard to
understand at that age and nobody thinks of them as 'behind in terms of
development'.

There is no set schedule here, if you are really worried about this - and it
seems that you are - you might want to check with local professionals to see
if he's really as behind as you think and if a crash program to remedy this is
what is called for or a more sedate pace slightly above normal until things
are in line again.

As with others here: HN is not the right place to look for advice on this,
we're not exactly childcare professionals (even if some of us are dads and
moms). My 'qualifications' are that I'm a father of three tri-lingual children
and that at the age of three they all seemed to be behind a bit in terms of
speech development because of that.

The most important thing to take away from this thread is the 'there is no
rush' bit, I second that wholeheartedly, better a happy child that's a bit
behind than a frustrated child trying to make up because of pressure.

Much good luck!

------
kabaddi
I work with children with special needs. There are lots of things you can do
in everyday interactions with your child. When he speaks to you, articulate
back what you think he said clearly as a role model for him. Wherever
possible, try and help him be as independent as possible. If I had a pound for
everytime things are done for children, when it's completely within their
means to do a task independently (e.g. getting dressed etc.) After a long time
of being dependent on an adult, children give up and wait for things to be
done for them and they can become very passive and almost 'lazy'.

When it comes to toilet training, make it as stress free as possible and offer
rewards (whatever he really likes). Make sure that he knows what he has to do
for the reward and try and make the completion of it as realistic for him as
possible (i.e. don't make it near impossible for him to try- obvious, I know
but the amount of times I've seen children given something that _I_ think is
difficult for me).

Also, if possible, get a professional involved - start with a General
Practitioner if you're not sure, but you can also go to an educational
psychologist who should assess and then give you recommendations of what your
child needs to make further progress. Sometimes these can be simple
adaptations to what you're already doing (we do lots of adaptations in the
school where I work to remove barriers to learning).

Other than that, good luck - raising a child is one of the hardest jobs you
can do.

~~~
VLM
"After a long time of being dependent on an adult, children give up and wait
for things to be done for them and they can become very passive and almost
'lazy'."

The obvious HN analogy is anyone who's ever observed users vs IT. "You mean
you spent 15 minutes opening a ticket with IT to get them to put paper in the
printer? Seriously?"

------
SiVal
After the fall of Nicolae Ceaușescu in Romania, it was discovered that there
were terrifying orphanages full of kids who had had almost no human contact
for years and were in bad shape as a result. My aunt volunteered to go to
Romania to help save as many of these kids as possible.

The relevant news for you is that kids who were only three at the time
rescuers arrived almost all recovered without lasting harm. The thing that
saved them was LOTS of daily human interaction.

Talk to that boy as much as you can. Hold him, sing to him (singing skill is
optional), play with his hands, play "piggies" with his toes, work on naming
parts of his face, play "head, shoulders, knees, and toes," play with blocks,
talk about colors, have one of you make a funny face and the other one has to
copy it then switch roles, and so on. (Don't read too much into it if he's
really bad at some of these games. My sons had no developmental problems, and
yet I could not BELIEVE how badly they did on some simple mental games: "See
this green card, Buddy? It's green, isn't it?" "Yes." "What color is it?" "I
don't know, Dada." "This color is green, okay?" "Okay." "So, what color is
this GREEN card?" "I don't know, Dada." Yes, believe it or not, this is
totally normal.)

Be a little careful not to overstimulate him with too much noise, wild motion,
etc., because that can be hard for him to process until he's older, but lots
of calm, happy, silly, giggly talking and playing should (slowly) bring him
back to the path he would have been on without the early lack of attention.

Also, as others have suggested, do involve doctors in this to the extent you
can. There might be more to the story than lack of attention, and "many eyes"
are better for debugging problems early, right?

------
DanBC
About speech: model correct words, but don't force corrections. So when he
says "yewwow worrwy" you say "Yes! That's right! Yellow Lorry!"

Use that sing-song voice. Some people say it's annoying and stupid, but
children do react to it. (Don't have the sources to hand, sorry.)

Offer him choices. Don't say "Would you like a drink?" but say "Do you want
milk? Or do you want water?" to encourage him to say stuff.

If he's babbling that's good, you want to encourage any noise making.

About the other stuff: investigate "attachment parenting". Poor attachment in
early life can have serious effects. You want to try to fix this.

Really, just spend time loving the child and interacting.

There are some programmes designed to help with poor behaviour. Webster-
Stratton is one. It gets some criticism because of the way it's marketed.

It might be worth asking some questions on the parenting stack exchange. I
seem to remember some people there did work in this area.

~~~
b6
> when he says "yewwow worrwy" you say "Yes! That's right! Yellow Lorry!"

Yes, I was looking through this thread for this. It's counter-intuitive, but I
really believe it's best to nod and encourage any behavior that is headed in
the right direction. I learned this trick from a foreign language teacher.

~~~
EdwardMSmith
The thing to understand is that he IS saying "yellow lorry". His muscles are
simply not developed enough for it to sound correct. But if you tell him, "no,
yellow lorry", he'll get frustrated because HE IS saying it to the best of his
ability.

------
ars
This applies more to an older child, but maybe it will help you.

Usually a older child can catch up, because the older child learns faster than
a younger one. This is good - but it has one problem: If the catching up child
skips basic practice and drills, he may still know the material (i.e. he
caught up), but he's missing something.

For example teaching an older child the times table - he'll be able to learn
it easily. But without the constant drills and practice he won't know the
numbers off the top of his head as quickly as another child.

This can harm him (his learning) later in life. So my message is don't skip
the drills! In your case you don't really need to drill potty training or
speaking, since this is something everyone does constantly anyway.

But if you notice anyplace where he knows the material, but is just not as
fast, and smooth, at it as he should be, then give him extra practice in it.

------
junto
My stepfather did this, unconditionally taking on two young boys that were not
his own. Give him your time and your love. He'll learn greedily if you don't
push him. All children want to please their parents. He needs to make mistakes
and let him take risks. Praise him for trying, rather than scolding him for
failing. Every child is different.

The one thing I've learned from parenting is that you have to 'pivot'
constantly. You have to adapt to child's brain that is constantly developing
and adapting itself.

Enjoy yourself, leave your work at work. Young children are incredibly adept
at picking up tiny signals. They know if you are tired and don't want to play
with them or read them a story before bedtime. They will punish you for it!

------
jdswain
It's a great thing that you are doing, making a positive impact on someones
life is something you don't often get a chance to do. I think you'll be
surprised how quickly infants do pick things up, but everyone learns at a
different rate, so don't worry if he's behind in some things, there's plenty
of time to catch up.

I think one of the best things you can do is talk with him, kids pick up
language really easily, and it's a great way to learn. Spend time talking more
as equals than as parent/child. It's sometimes a difficult balance to get, you
need to have authority at times, but at other times it's better to be a
friend.

Socalising with other kids is also important. So while putting in daycare may
seem like you are avoiding taking care of him, it's really important for his
development that he interacts with friends his own age.

Kids (and I guess anyone) can be remarkably sensitive too, so make sure he
feels safe at home and has some stability. Talk about this too as sometimes
kids get thoughts in their heads that would be better talked about than left
for them to dwell on.

And don't worry about things to much, everyone learns this one on the job, you
seem to care a lot, so I'm sure you'll do fine. And have fun with him, kids
are a great way to relax (sometimes), and also an excuse to do things you
wouldn't normally do.

------
bcbroom
My only experience is in the US, you didn't mention a country.

Check with your health insurance to see if they cover short term rehab. If
they do (my insurance when I was a grad student did, but it varies by state)
they will cover some months of speach and/or occupational therapy (OT always
sounds weird to me dealing with kids, but it deals with a bunch of sensory and
processing issues).

Anyone with speech issues I would recommend a good hearing test (from an
audiologist, not the doctors office). This is how we found my daughter is
hearing impaired.

In the US, children with delays are eligible for some services from the public
school system. Depending on the district, this will likely be a long wait with
some screenings and paperwork, but we got several years of speech and language
therapy from very qualified people.

Finally, don't forget a pediatrician. They will be able to give you
recommendations of local contacts that can help.

This is not something to be a hero and go it alone, get help.

------
bnp
I found some interesting views in this book [http://www.amazon.com/Brain-
Rules-Baby-Raise-Smart/dp/098326...](http://www.amazon.com/Brain-Rules-Baby-
Raise-Smart/dp/0983263302) \- there is an associated website which might
include some of the content. <http://www.brainrules.net/>. One interesting
point the author makes is the importance of teaching children to identify non-
verbal cues and cites studies showing that young children who are taught sign
language (and are not hearing impaired) have a higher probability of success
in later life. The following pdf could also give you some ideas
[http://www.dgmt.co.za/files/2013/05/More-than-
Counting_web.p...](http://www.dgmt.co.za/files/2013/05/More-than-
Counting_web.pdf) \- aimed specifically at math development between 0 and 5
years.

------
equalsione
I see you're in the UK. I would suggest going to the child's GP, raise your
concerns about speech and language delay and ask for a referral to speech and
language therapy. If you have other concerns, raise them with your GP as well
and you may get other referrals. You'll have to have the child's guardian
involved obviously, and depending on procedures, there may be a visit from a
social worker to get a sense of the child's needs. That might sound scary but
it isn't really. [Note: I live in Ireland but the process is very similar to
the best of my knowledge]

Your role here is as a de-facto parent. You clearly care about the boy and you
should focus on that - you have a huge role to play, but you are not a
language therapist/child psychologist/occupational therapist. Your job is to
get the little guy the services he needs and be prepared to be stubborn and
insistent that he gets them. And there will be lots of "homework" to do that
will keep you busy once you get that.

Early intervention is key, so getting into the system and getting access to
the necessary services is your top priority. Accept any and every appointment
that comes your way. Also, you need to be in it for the long haul - my
experience is that it's a case of incremental progress over long periods
rather than giant leaps. You may at some point feel that this is over the the
top, or that his issues aren't that bad compared to other kids that you
encounter. Forget that thought immediately.

Like others here, I would not generally suggest looking for hacks. But one
thing that really works is probably something you're doing already - playing.
Let the child lead, talk constantly to describe what they are doing and
occasionally ask questions. That's a very basic description that should get
you going, and once you get access to the services you need, you may be able
to find out more (some sort of parenting course for kids with needs is usually
part of the process).

Finally, just keep doing what you're doing, but also look out for yourself in
all this. Good luck!

~~~
VLM
"Your job is to get the little guy the services he needs and be prepared to be
stubborn and insistent that he gets them."

My personal experience is the entire medical community seems to have an
avoidance issue WRT food allergies. Oh who knows some kids are just like that.
Thats just how some kids are, why don't you wait and see if he catches up. I'm
sure that's not the case. Well some kids just develop at a different rate
mentally and physically than others. They'd rather MRI my son for suspected
stomach cancer than test for allergy antibodies (or was it just xray? It was
awhile ago). Seriously. They had us all in suspected cancer mode before they
broke down and tried allergy testing.

Eventually, after much arguing, the pediatrician ordered a blood test,
referred him to a gastroenterologist, who did some crazy stomach wall tissue
biopsy after draining about a quart for innumerable blood tests, and finally,
they're like "yeah, he's severely allergic to gluten per both biopsy and blood
tests, so stop eating that". And casein and soy.

I found it remarkable how hard you have to push to get tests done for a
diagnosis like that. I believe in for profit industry, follow the money. The
worst medical scenario for the patient or the parents is probably cancer or
something awful like that. The worst medical scenario for the doctors and
adminstrators is an illness that is treated by a "simple" diet change and
requires no expensive pills, no expensive followups, no expensive surgery,
diagnosis wasn't too expensive other than the tissue biopsy work... that's why
you have to fight fight fight to even get tested because that diagnosis is a
nightmare scenario for the docs.

The point of all this is his development rate skyrocketed once we got him
proper food, and he's pretty near caught up to his peers, which is cool. So
you'll have to fight extremely hard to test for food allergies, but it might
(or might not) pay off. (edited to add there may be other financial nightmare
scenarios for doctors which are hard to get tested. Hmm, how about vision
testing? Can't learn to read if you can't see the page, but if you can avoid
getting the kid glasses you can milk that cow for money for a long time WRT
special needs reading classes and such. My daughter had that problem.)

~~~
equalsione
This is a very good point. Our guy turned out to have similar food allergies.
The soy one is a nightmare, because soy and soy derivatives seem to be in just
about everything. But if he does have any allergies, there are lots of
alternatives and a dietician would be able to help.

Also OP, the other test I would recommend (though hopefully, the team you're
dealing with will do it as more or less a first step) is a hearing test. He
may have glue-ear or similar common childhood hearing issues without showing
any symptoms (i.e. earache). Even a small percentage drop in hearing at that
age can have an impact.

And if the poor guy does have food allergies as mentioned, that would
exacerbate the problem (basically, hay-fever like symptoms causing his nose to
become blocked and therefore his ears).

By the way, these may sound like a really big deal but they are not. All this
things are easily fixable. They're also incredibly common.

~~~
VLM
"just about everything."

Yeah tell me about it, I've been living it for about half a decade and its in
almost everything heavily processed. In the "real food" aisles, other than raw
soybeans and tofu and some soy "milks" (and soy milk is getting pretty far
away from "real food") its pretty easy to avoid soy. If it comes in a box
and/or maybe a bag its nearly impossible to avoid soy, wheat, or casein
(milk).

Which leads to "hmm, sounds like we're about to live the Paleo diet" which at
least on HN leads to ridiculous responses against it, about God intelligently
designing us to evolve over the last couple decades to live exclusively on
"hot pockets", candy bars, and high fructose corn syrup and cooking at home
should be illegal and/or only for rich people and/or only for poor people or
perhaps both at the same time but definitely not for us, therefore trying to
avoid junk food is a religious sin and ethically immoral and anti-american and
everyone should eat as much fake food as possible, err, and well lets ignore
the allergy people they can just go curl up and die somewhere. Ah,
paraphrasing a bit from a slightly biased perspective.

Lets just say my family eats a heck of a lot of salads with a side of a little
roasted, baked, steamed, or grilled meat. Last night was big spinach salad
with some kinda vinaigrette and (admittedly non-paleo) sliced seasoned baked
potatoes (I think dill and rosemary?) and some overly spicy bbq flavored
homemade baked chicken. Want to cut back on meat consumption? Spice the heck
out of it till you can't stomach more than a couple oz. You can eat paleo
pretty cheaply and healthily if you want, or you can use it as an "excuse" to
eat nothing but 32 oz of grilled beef tenderloin each night and then complain.

------
bonchibuji
You should check these sub-reddits:

<http://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/> <http://www.reddit.com/r/raisingKids>

There are more subject specific sub-reddits. You can find the list on the
right side panel in the above links.

~~~
icebraining
There's also a StackExchange[1], but I don't know how good it is.

[1]: <http://parenting.stackexchange.com/>

------
nulldog73
I'm not a speech therapist or anything like that, but I'm a father of a 4 year
old with an autism spectrum disorder. So, take my words with a grain of salt.

Regarding speech, I think the most important thing is being patient. No rush,
avoid putting the kid under any kind of pressure. I'm saying this as someone
who had done the opposite and is now sure it only made things worse. But you
should probably try different approaches. Some prefer highly structured
approaches, like ABA. I hate ABA because it's like training a dog. Besides, it
made no positive impact on my child (it was probably negative). Yes, she did
learn a couple of new words, but she doesn't use any of them in the "real
world". Every single word she uses actively she learned while playing,
exploring, listening to us, you know, doing all the small, everyday things.
Also, I too have a book recommendation -- I have just read "It Takes Two To
Talk" (look it up on Amazon -- unfortunately it doesn't appear to have the
"look/search inside" functionality available. I can give you some more details
when I get back home, email me if you're interested) and I suggest you to take
a look. It's very simple, practical and essentially, common sense (most of the
other books on the topic I've read aren't exactly like that). But it'll save
you so much time. You'll be up to speed in two days, instead of, say, 6
months. There's another book on the same topic I heard was great, but the
title escapes me right now :( I ordered it a couple of days ago, so I guess
I'm going to know the title again really soon :)

Regarding potty training, what worked for us is: first, it's absolutely
crucial the kid is at home all the time for this to work. So, no kindergarten.
Second, whatever your specific approach is (I suggest you watch the kid's body
signs and always have the potty available :), do it for one week. If it
doesn't work, stop. Wait for a month or two, then try again (possibly using
some other approach). When the kid is ready it'll just happen.

Please keep in mind that I'm no childcare professional. Also, there are many
conflicting approaches. For example, I'm sure someone will tell you, for
example, that ABA is great. And maybe it really is, for some kids. I guess
you'll have to experiment a lot. Good luck! And don't rush. Just don't rush.

------
chris_dcosta
Tread carefully. You are in a relationship with someone who really is the new
parent, and whilst you may act like a father figure, and have ambitions, don't
get that confused with who's child it is. I only say this, because the last
thing you need is resentment to build up because you might be able to do
something that the real parent was not able to do.

I'm sure you have talked this all over with the parent, and like you say there
were mitigating circumstances, but it is the other person who has the right to
the decision-making. Just keep that in mind that's all.

------
tokenadult
In your spare moments for reading, I think you will really like this newly
published book on child development:

<http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0857027581>

Child development is very complicated to understand, but delightful to
observe. (I am the father of four children, one now fully grown and living
independently.)

This list of books on language development of children, one of your concerns,

<http://learninfreedom.org/talking.html>

is a bit old, but quite useful for parents.

------
itomek
Talk to him a lot and ask questions with follow up why, where, when, etc. Also
the more you expose him to, the more he learns, take him yo see a real train,
a real truck, etc and explain what it is. Most importantly show love and give
them fun. I love playing sports with my boys or just wrestling around. Every
sat and sun we go for a 1 - 2 hr trip on a red wagon in the park, they throw
sticks, rocks, etc. KISS

------
ericssmith
Relax about the potty training. Frequent reminders, sticker chart, and bigger
milestone rewards are all you need. Kids are on their on timeline with this,
and any anxiety you have around it won't help. Regarding speech, repeat back
clearly what the boy says to you. A speech therapist helps. It is a long,
gradual process. Facilitated play (i.e., guided by adult) with peers is huge.

------
itomek
Oh... One last thing, there is nothing better for a child than a little
brother or sister; so get to work. 😊

------
MarkMc
It sounds like you're going to be a great Dad!

Perhaps not a hack, but I recommend reading the book, "How Children Succeed" -
here's an extract: <https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5721868>

And I wish you all the best!

------
jfoucher
Get this book: [http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-
Listen/dp/145166388...](http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-
Listen/dp/1451663889/) Absolutely invaluable.

------
lignuist
One word: love

~~~
ars
Just a little caution: If you are not going to stay with this child for life,
then please be very careful of his emotions.

Loss of attachment is really really really hard on children.

~~~
jwdunne
I fully intend on being there for him for the rest of his life and me and his
mother are deeply in love. We are hoping to get married some time next year :)

~~~
mst
I thought that once; then she and I broke up and I haven't seen the kid since
(sadly). So it goes.

I don't, honestly, think that possible outcome is something worth dewelling
on; once you start feeling like a parent, the whole 'apply love' thing is
entirely unavoidable.

But please do remember that "I fully intend" may at some point make contact
with a reality hostile to your intentions, and at least consider the
possibility you may one day need a plan Z.

~~~
jwdunne
She is my childhood sweetheart and we have been through an awful lot together.
She has stood by me in times when I didn't even care or stand by myself, when
I felt disgusting and unloved (I suffer from a mood disorder which produced
psychotic symptoms at its peak). She was there when even some family refused
to be there.

To be poetic, my love for her transcends that of anything I'be ever known or
witnessed. It seems we are stronger than my parents and her parents and they
have been together for around 20 - 25 years each. We are 100% dedicated to
each other and the thought if not being with her makes me physically sick.

~~~
mst
It sounds like you have a significantly lower than average chance of needing a
plan Z. That wasn't really my point.

"Having an appropriate will" is another form of having a plan Z; reality is
not fair, not kind, and not your friend.

(trying to steer clear of doomsaying but there's an underlying "no matter how
reliable your RAID array is an offsite backup is still a good idea" point I'm
trying to make here :)

