
My biggest fear: Taking time off, relaxing and resting - LeonW
https://leowid.com/my-biggest-fear-taking-time-off-relaxing-and-resting/
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jonnym1ll3r
"I heard someone recently say that they are so scared of doing nothing and
just being because they’re afraid that when the engine stops, it can never be
turned back on."

I had this exact conversation with my friend last night, she was saying that
she was spinning so many plates and afraid that if she let them fall she'd
never have the energy to pick any of them back up... feels like it might be
true for a lot of people in the tech space.

~~~
8bitsrule
Rest, relaxation are like sleep. If you're not waking up refreshed and in a
good mood, it may be because you were _unable_ to 'turn off the engine'.

Creativity doesn't come from thinking. Nor does enjoying what others have
created (and letting them know). Nor does having a sense of humor (try not
having one for a while ... see what _that_ does for your social life). And
trying to do 10 things at once leads to mistakes and doing far less of them to
the best of your ability. Let the machines enjoy being a machine.

No worries.

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sp527
Disclaimer: The below applies to people without families.

I think some (talented) software engineers would benefit from going through a
phase, at least once in their lives, where they quit and travel. And then try
to do something on their own. And fail. Because you learn something super
important.

Life goes on and things usually look up.

After that happens, you might decide to change how you live. You could take
more chances, go on more vacations, devote fewer hours to your employer and
more to your self, and generally live with less fear. Remembering that you can
make a $100k+ income virtually at will (again, assuming you're reasonably
talented) is tremendously empowering.

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Gustomaximus
I like working and dont think I could ever retire and relax type deal. But I
also tend to overwork myself by always taking on more and eventually get
stressed and 'need' a holiday which has 2 positive effects;

1) Some downtime is good, see somewhere different and hang with family/friends
etc

2) After a bit I get bored doing holiday activities and remember how much I
like to work. I think this is actually the most positive benefit of a holiday.

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m0llusk
This isn't actually possible. Anyone tuned in enough to the vast mystery of
life will find themselves always learning, always weaving new narratives about
exactly what has happened in the past, is happening now, and might happen in
the future. And all of that contributes to next steps. Really taking time of
is often a precursor to a great new beginning.

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jdpigeon
Has anyone had a good experience with a "coach" like this guy? I had a few
sessions with a psychodynamic therapist that I thought were pleasant but
mostly pointless because there was no accountability or impetus to actually
change my behavior

~~~
Swizec
"You can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped"

The impetus must come from you first and foremost. Neither therapist nor coach
can force you to change, they exist only to support you. When you have a good
enough reason to change, you will.

Or to quote my favorite anecdote from Amanda Palmer's book: doesn't hurt
enough yet.

“A farmer is sitting on his porch in a chair, hanging out. A friend walks up
to the porch to say hello, and hears an awful yelping, squealing sound coming
from inside the house. "What's that terrifyin' sound?" asks the friend. "It's
my dog," said the farmer. "He's sittin' on a nail." "Why doesn't he just sit
up and get off it?" asks the friend. The farmer deliberates on this and
replies: "Doesn't hurt enough yet.”

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kresten
I’ve spent years working 12 hour days.

Right now I can’t bring myself to do much more than an hour a day. I’m not
going to attack myself for it.

------
moretai
Reminds me of Ikiru.

