

What it’s like to have two mothers - joshbuckley
http://sashmackinnon.com/having-two-mothers

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hcarvalhoalves
A male (or female) role model is an important part of the development of kids.
Children spend a significant amount of time and energy developing mental
models of how they should behave based on how their role models behave.

That said, in the absence of a father figure for instance, kids will look for
role models in anyone, like their preferred uncle, a teacher, the Clint-
Eastwood-from-Gran-Torino-next-door, superheroes, etc.

So whether the kids are raised by a female couple, a male couple, 3 people, 2
wolves, it's not really a problem as long as the kids can interact with a
multitude of people. What you definitely do not want is radical parents and an
homogenous environment.

~~~
rada
You've missed the main point of the article: "opinions are used
interchangeably with facts", and rushed to post an opinion not (as far as one
could tell from your post) based on fact. Do you have anything to back up your
claim that a "male (or female) role model is an important part of the
development of kids"?

Just as an example, here is research that says otherwise:

[http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/01/100121135904.ht...](http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/01/100121135904.htm)

 _The researchers found no evidence of gender-based parenting abilities, with
the "partial exception of lactation," noting that very little about the gender
of the parent has significance for children's psychological adjustment and
social success._

Another example:

[http://news.discovery.com/human/genetics/parents-gender-
chil...](http://news.discovery.com/human/genetics/parents-gender-children.htm)

 _Children usually benefit from having two parents instead of one. The gender
of each parent, however, does not have a significant impact on a child's
success._

~~~
hcarvalhoalves
I'm afraid you are the one who rushed to post an opinion without reading it
first, since I'm actually saying the same thing. Read the comment again.

I said that "male (or female) role model is an important part of the
development of kids", not that "having both a father and mother is an
important part of development kids", because kids will interact with people of
both sexes and develop mental models accordingly - kids are not limited to
learning only from their parents.

The fact kids look upon role models of both sexes is plain old behaviorism.

~~~
rada
I've read your post several times to make sure I understood it correctly
before posting.

I replied to your baseless assertions that kids need male role models and both
genders for their development: "in the absence of a father figure kids will
look for role models [several examples of male role models]", "you don't want
a homogeneous environment". My links show research that specifically says this
is not true. The author of the article goes to great lengths to say it's not
true. Do you have any _facts_ or _personal experiences_ that say otherwise?

(If by "uncle" and "Clint Eastwood next door" you didn't mean a male role
model, and by "homogeneous environment" you didn't mean gender-homogeneous,
then what _did_ you mean)?

~~~
hcarvalhoalves
"My links show research that specifically says this is not true."

The researches show that there's no evidence of the importance of genders on
_parenting_ , and I agree.

That is quite different than saying exposure to people of both genders is
_not_ important. It is important just as it is important for children to be
exposed to people of different age, ethnicity, culture, opinion, and such.
This exposure helps them build complete mental models of how other people
behave, which is important for the development of empathy and self-image.

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy#Development>

~~~
rada
Oh really? So you see an article titled "What it's like to have two mothers",
respond with "kids need male role models" but excuse everybody, what you
really mean is, "it is important for children to be exposed to people of
different age, ethnicity, culture, opinion, and such". Ok then.

FYI, kids grow up just fine in culturally and ethnically homogeneous
environments. There _is_ a world outside the United States or wherever you
happen to be from. There are very large countries out there made up entirely
of one ethnicity and one culture, and not everyone in those countries is
devoid of empathy.

~~~
hcarvalhoalves
"So you see an article titled "What it's like to have two mothers", respond
with "kids need male role models" but excuse everybody"

You read what you wanted to read.

