

Ask HN: Is what I'm about to do a bad idea? - SeekingAdvice01

Hi all. I'm posting this under a new account, because I have co-workers that also read HN and know my main alias.<p>Over the past week and a half, I have been interviewing with a company that I really want to work for. I'm currently working in TX, and the company I am interviewing for is a startup out in SF. It has been a dream / goal of mine to end up out there for the past 2 years, or so.<p>Well, things move fast at startups, and I have conducted 2 phone interviews and now they want to fly me out there on Monday to meet everyone (and, make a job offer I am assuming / hoping). The only problem is, at my current job I am supposed to demo some software we have been writing for the past few months to one of our clients who are flying in to see it. My current company consists of 7 people, and we do minor software development for auditors. Not exactly an enjoyable setup. The company I'm interviewing with is well established, so I'm not concerned about it being a potential job security risk. I guess it may technically no longer even be considered a startup.<p>All of this is happening very fast, and I feel like I'm just needing some advice because I'm not sure if what I'm about to do is the right decision.<p>I'm going to go through with the flight on Monday, and go out there. I'm just going to go for it. I don't want to do anything to delay this process and put any halt to the momentum that I have built up with them. I want this new job way too much.<p>Job offer or not, though, this would probably mean I'd have to resign from my current job, since I'd be shrugging off a meeting that has been schedule for a little more than a week.<p>I've got a phone call coming up in a few hours with the startup I'm interviewing with to discuss flight arrangements and schedule, etc.<p>Does this sound like a bad plan?
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codeslush
I would definitely not lie about it as other people here have recommended. I
would not burn a bridge with your current employer either. Here's my take on
things: If the startup in SF wants you, and if they are WORTH working for,
then they will accommodate a schedule change, recognizing it's happening very
fast and you have other obligations. In fact, they should respect you for
saying -- Hey, I don't really love my job, but I've made a commitment for
Monday and don't want to leave them hanging. Can I fly out over the weekend or
on Tuesday or Wednesday?

If they aren't willing to work with you on this, then you need to look for
something else -- IMHO!

Never burn a bridge. Always be honest. It's a small world and it's not worth
it. Not only does it affect the way other people think about you, it affects
the way you think about yourself. Build character one step at a time, not the
reverse.

~~~
maxbrown
I agree... they really should respect you for saying that you made the
commitment and are a person who follows through on your commitments. They
shouldn't want someone who doesn't, because you could be liable to do the same
to them.

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RiderOfGiraffes
The following are my thoughts, and contains my advice.

Always be honest. If you are caught out in a lie people will forever wonder if
they can trust you. That's not a good place to be.

Secondly, if the people in your office really do read HN then they already
know who they are, and now probably know who you are.

Thirdly, you should fulfil your obligations. If you are expected to do the
demo then you should either bring someone else up to speed to stand in for
you, or you should stay and do the demo.

Explain to the guys in SF. Explain that it's important to you to be honest and
to meet your obligations. Say that you are already obliged to do the demo, but
you would be very pleased to come out as soon as it's done.

What reputation do you want? If you tell the SF guys that you are meeting an
obligation, and that to do so is your style and your ethic, that can hardly
make them want you less.

And in my book - always be honest.

Finally, one of my programmers once came to tell me he needed some time off
for an interview. I made space for him, covered for him, and made it clear
that I'd be sorry to see him go. I chatted with him to find out why he was
unhappy, and eventually we agreed that he wasn't really a good fit for his job
with us. We couldn't find anything that would fit better, so I helped him get
a position he wanted more. I could honestly tell the other company that I
respected his honesty and integrity, and was genuinely sorry to see him more
on, but it was best for him.

No bridges burned, good karma all round.

What ever you do, make sure it matches the image you want to have of yourself.

------
eengstrom
+1 for the reschedule in San Francisco.

Common experience is that once an employer knows you're stepping out and
interviewing, you're already out. Especially if you haven't informed them
you're looking, or at least asked them basic questions like: "I'm feeling
limited in my role, do you have any ideas of how I can expand responsibility
or learn new X"? If it's about money, bring that up and see what they say.

People can feel very betrayed when someone they like or value departs or plays
games, for good reason, since obviously you don't value your current
opportunity as much as your new one. Think of it like an intimate
relationship. Especially in such a small company where you represent over 14%
of the work force.

Interviewing while employed is something we'll all have to do once or more in
our careers (especially in tech). Being graceful and honorable is fine, but at
the end of the day, if you try and live a righteous life, you're going to find
out that most people don't act like that. Especially when they feel betrayed.

However. Doing the right thing and protecting yourself does not give you the
right to discharge your responsibilities. Certainly not something I would look
for in a new hire.

If you haven't done so yet, explain, or even forward a sanitized agenda from
Monday's meeting. Explain you can't make it as desired (Monday is a holiday I
think), let your employers know you need personal time off after the demo and
handle things like an adult.

As others have said several times, the new company will wait a day or two for
you.

Your best bet is to knock the demo out of the park, show your value to your
current employer and take the new offer with pride. You treat your old
employer right when you run out of town to San Francisco, the better chance
you'll have a reference or a job back there if things don't work out here.

Another thing to keep in mind if you're relatively new and only worked in
small companies. In such a small setting, in such a lowered cost of living
location like (anywhere in) Texas, you'll have a lot more work-habit related
freedoms than in a larger organization.

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AngeloAnolin
Seems like you already made your decision, and the best thing would be to be
honest with your current employer. Go to SF where you feel your calling is,
BUT, ensure that the demo could be handled by your peers. Let them know of
your plans and that this is some opportunity which you would not want to miss.
If the company totally cares for your well-being, they should (and I assume)
would understand.

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bloodcarter
Sounds like a great opportunity to test your potential employer. Tell them
that you must do a demo and ask for advice. If they will say "OK, do the demo
first" then just do the demo and take the offer. But if they will insist on
the interview on the demo day....then you should think twice, because it means
they do not appreciate employee loyalty. A bad sign. Nevertheless, good luck!

------
jmartin
I think that you should fulfill your obligation at your current company and do
the demo. The company you are interviewing with will understand your situation
if they are professional enough. Go out strong and do the right thing, while
maintaining your network and reputation. My two cents.

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Someone
To me: yes, it sounds like a bad plan.

Do you really think ' _and, make a job offer I am assuming / hoping_ ' is
sufficient grounds to burn the ship you are on?

Are you convinced that postponing that meeting a day or even a week could cost
you the opportunity of that new job?

~~~
SeekingAdvice01
Honestly? Yes, I am anxious to jump at the opportunity.

No, I'm not convinced about that, but in terms of myself and my future, I do
not want to postpone this interview. I value the opportunity infinitely more
than I value this current job of mine. I could go into the tons of reasons why
my current job is depressing, but I don't think there's enough time. haha

------
nhangen
Why not just explain your situation to the company interviewing you, and ask
for a delay? If they say no, then that's a warning sign anyway, and if they
say yes, you do the right thing and learn that they care about the same.

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brudgers
A scheduled demo for an out of town client takes precedence in my book. It's
not just a weekly report. Schedule your interview in a way which does not fuck
over your current team.

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noodle
why can't you postpone the travel for a few days? tell them you have some
responsibilities you couldn't manage to get out of on the short term but still
are very interested.

if they're looking for you specifically and not just a warm body, they should
understand. if they're just looking for a warm body, i'd think twice about the
process.

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danny3stacks
Just do it. You'll probably burn a bridge but it doesn't sound like you're
thrilled at your current position.

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mike-cardwell
Reschedule the interview at the new company. Lie to make it sound as though
you have no other choice.

~~~
fedd
why lie?

tell as it is. they're testing your willingness to work for them. you test
them: how will they value you

~~~
mike-cardwell
His first mistake was accepting the initial invite. He should have specified
that he wasn't available that day and asked to do it another. He didn't
though, so either got to lie and say that something new has come up which
can't be avoided, or tell the truth and explain that he double booked himself,
which might make him look a little silly.

------
fedd
@SeekingAdvice01, auditors, 7 men, TX. i think they already know :)

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fedd
i know a guy who works for two major software companies (as a presales analyst
or something) and they don't know it.

just a story

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geuis
Go to SF. Look, there's 6 other people in your current office. Assuming that
your software project is ready, you have a 4 days (counting today) to bring
someone else up to speed on it. Make an excuse, call in sick, or just tell the
truth.

Also, don't forget about doing both. Is there some reason you can't VPN into
your office from SF and give the demo virtually?

~~~
SeekingAdvice01
I'm just not sure any excuse as to why I couldn't be at the office for this
would be believable.

This isn't a final version demo, either. It's just a display of our progress.
So, if I were to go interview on Monday, I imagine they'd just not have the
demo meeting.

~~~
wmboy
Just tell the truth. Have a meeting with your boss, thank him for the
opportunities and just explain that this is your dream job.

I was in the same situation half a year ago, and I'm 100% glad I was totally
honest about it. And like others have said, you don't want to burn down
bridges - you never know when old business contacts may come in handy.

