
When a Self-Declared Genius Asks You to Read His Masterpiece - DizzyDoo
http://lithub.com/when-a-self-declared-genius-asks-you-to-read-his-masterpiece/
======
vinceguidry
What is unfortunate about this is that Alan is clearly in need of friends, but
his abrasive manner would certainly be off-putting to the people around him.
So he has to ask random strangers for feedback on his writing instead of his
friends.

America used to be more tolerant of this kind of social stupidity. In an
earlier time, Alan could have found many friends among his community. For lack
of better things to do, these friends would have filed off his rough edges and
given him probably-bad, but well-meaning advice on his writing, which would
have helped him out much more than this journal article will.

But no, all of our dance cards are full, it's so difficult to find meaningful
relationships in our daily lives. The socially adept can easily insulate
themselves from the unwashed masses and never have to learn how to respond
appropriately to someone like that. So recluses become even more reclusive,
hiding away in their rooms and developing this kind of ego complex. So very
sad.

~~~
striking
I don't agree that society has failed him. It takes two to tango; he has
played a part in it himself.

He's a Shakespearean conspiracy theorist, who spends inordinate amounts of
time on this one thing.

It's just a bizarre thing that most people could not make heads or tails of. I
don't believe that no one wants to be his friend. I just don't think anyone
knows _how_ to be his friend.

~~~
Zikes
Yours is a totally reasonable comment, but it seems to be getting a lot of
downvotes. I'm seeing the same thing on other articles today; I wonder if
there's some sort of brigading going on.

~~~
striking
I'm not particularly worried about it. Sometimes there are some stray
downvotes that just end up hitting one of my comments. I have plenty of karma
to spare anyway.

Thanks for the kind words, though!

------
Houshalter
Every field has cranks. People, often mentally ill, send pages and pages of
crazy theories and writing to professors.

One professor had an idea. Every time a crank wrote to him, he would send them
the contact information of the last crank. He said he was too busy to read it
right now, but this other person might help him. Instead of getting angry
letters back, they wouldn't write back again, or even sent nice letters
thanking him for the referral.

That might have helped in this case. This guy might not have time to read
these people's works, but surely they can help each other.

~~~
coderdude
I knew I'd heard this tale before:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10931403](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10931403)

------
krick
Seriously? Some guy brags about how he wasted a whole day arguing with some
rude dude, who randomly emailed him, because he didn't want to read his essays
as he was too busy? I guess I'm much more disgusted by Jeff, than by that
Alan. I mean, even if I would do something like that, there's no way I would
be so proud of myself to make a blogpost about it.

I'm honestly surprised 40 people in 2 hours found it worthy of HN frontpage.

~~~
elmin
He's a writer. He used this situation to write an essay examining the literary
industry. Like all good writing, there are many valuable things which could be
taken from his (well executed) writing. Personally, I found some interesting
parallels in how the venture capital industry works, and it helped me to
conceptialize how those concepts extent into other fields.

It was written as a blog post because we were the true audience, not Alan.

~~~
mcguire
Examining the literary industry? I thought he was plugging his friends' books.

~~~
hellameta
successful then, i take it?

------
LanguageGamer
Books have become such an engrained part of our culture, it's easy to lose
sight of how divorced they are from "normal" (on an evolutionary time-scale)
uses of language. Usually, language is reciprocal, bi-directional - you speak
I listen, then I speak and you listen.

But books (usually) only go one way - the author speaks, the reader listens.
This allows strong power-laws to take hold, so that a small handful of
speakers take up a very disproportionate amount of people's attention.

This is another argument for Alan to make some friends, with whom he can
practice the more balanced language-art of conversation.

As an aside, this reminds me of my fantasy of parsers becoming sophisticated
enough that instead of books, authors can write chat-bots that allow readers
to feel "heard" by the author.

~~~
FiatLuxDave
That is an interesting idea. Has anyone tried anything, even a poor attempt,
at something like that? Even as just an art piece, it would be an interesting
medium.

~~~
cableshaft
Chatbots still haven't really progressed too much out of the 90's, really,
from what I've read, especially hobby ones.

IBM's Watson is not representative of the progression of consumer-grade web
chatbot technology, unfortunately.

------
digsmahler
This is a really touching open response to an inner demon that I, and many
people, wrestle with. Like Alan, I too have childishly and bitterly demanded
recognition from what seems like a cold and uncaring world. But seeing the
system from within, it's just a bunch of people like me, working to make and
find awesome things as best they can. It fills me with hope to know that our
communities, online and otherwise, are created by and for ourselves. We don't
have to be separate and lonely Alans, instead with some nurturing and care we
can enjoy our time in the company of peers.

------
febed
I suspect that Alan is schizophrenic and his statements are just a reflection
of his grandiose delusions. Anecdotally, his tall claims are similar to other
schizophrenic people I have come across.

~~~
m0nty
I've made the same allowance for a visitor to a forum I run. He is incredibly
abrasive and snarky in general (especially when people disagree with him,
however politely) and vain about his own writing, which is mediocre but he
refers to as "truly insightful" and "a cogent analysis of this subject". It
consists mainly of densely-worded diatribes and conspiracy theories, with
scattered "photoshops" of politicians he dislikes (which is all of them -
nobody is good enough for this guy). It's truly disturbing, in the way that
observing another's emotional turmoil can be. Mainly I try to leave him alone.

------
SCAQTony
I applaud the professor's patience. His last well mannered response to the
troll (AKA, self proclaimed literary writer) with the full blown narcissistic
personality disorder (Could park his car right next to Kanye West) was a
whopping 2,500 words. It would take me a whole day to write something that
long but the real question is WHY did he bother?

~~~
noname123
My feelings as well.

tl;dr, I am sorry I can't read your unsolicited manuscript because I am a
humble writer with a humble background with a duties to my humble college
students in creative writing class.

Let me mention all of my friends who are really humble, from middle-upper
class who have earned an inheritance to travel and write from their
experiences; but not all of them are white lest you get the wrong idea about
me, in fact one of them is colored with such a interesting background you
should hear about because he gets confused for either being "Black" or "Arab";
so in closing, I am a really humble person who have lots of humble friends who
value friendship; wait, by the way did I mention that I am really humble?

~~~
PhasmaFelis
Are you Alan?

~~~
noname123
No I am not Alan.

My commentary is just how reading the author's explanation; he came off as so
many people I've known previously at liberal arts colleges and then later at
parties/cafes college towns. The "conscientious" type who likes the idea of
pursuing something "pure" and "artistic," but ultimately their lives lead them
to nothing beyond the wording on the marketing on a college brochure, "think
deeply, be worldly, travel!"

I'd love to go into a in-depth analysis of the original author's text, and how
every single of his example of his friends he upheld is a stereotype that is
in the wheelhouse of a New York City MFA class or Lena Dunham's
"Girls".(Unfortunately, I am trying to debug Docker to run a compute cluster
job. )

I am deeply disappointed that the author didn't try to use the opportunity to
try to appeal to the craft of writing as a daily discipline, a joy, a pain, a
biological compulsion for people who persist regardless of prestige nor fame;
or why writing in particular means so much to him, and revealing his own
egotism and follies; instead, he wrote a rant that is a thinly-veined guise
about he and his circle of friends are the "truer artists" with "much more
interesting life experiences" than Alan.

However, perhaps you have a more nuanced reading than I did, I'd love to hear
what was your takeaway from the author's article?

~~~
striking
If someone mailed you 55 pages* of unparseable nonsense steeped in pretension,
and threatened that there would be consequences should you choose to ignore
it, what would you do?

The author decided to explain that he'd rather read articles by people he
knows and by his students who allow him to make a living. He doesn't read
things as part of an imagined "profession." He reads things relevant to his
own life.

It's about the ability to freely associate, and the ability to decide what is
relevant to you, with regards to the "profession" of writer.

Your interpretation seemed somewhat uncharitable. I don't think you're being
particularly nice, either.

* The amount was not revealed to us. But take it as a hypothetical anyway.

------
forgotpwtomain
To offer a counter-example: Nietzsche was a mostly friendless philosopher
whose writing is also full of megalomania -- this is not to make the case that
Alan or your typical graphomaniac has anything in common with Nietzsche - but
the whole argument of this piece seems to hinge on the importance of social
adequacy being enjoined with literary merit - not to mention the mildly
unpleasant tinge of smug self-satisfaction as the author enumerates and quotes
his many 'adequate' literary friends. Will anyone be reading Jeff Sharlet 50
years from now? I highly doubt it.

~~~
vinceguidry
Nietzche was by no means friendless. The gentry of the mid-1800s, particularly
the intelligentsia of which he was a part, could not have survived, much less
thrived, without a rich network of friends and professional acquaintances,
whose houses they would crash when traveling, exchanging ideas and emotional
support.

He even fell in love, in a famed torrential affair with the celebrated
seductress Lou Salome.

Nietzche's philosophies grew not from the pain of loneliness, but from the
bitterness of being denied the things he wanted, mostly by events out of his
control. He had a promising career in the army, until an accident forced him
to return to academia. Salome did not believe in marriage and turned
Nietzche's proposals down three times. His anti-Semitism eventually made him
unemployable by academia.

He did break off with many of his friends at this point, mostly for
philosophical reasons, he kept a few around and even made new ones. He was
never a true recluse, at least, not any more than anyone else of the time
period.

~~~
forgotpwtomain
> His anti-Semitism eventually made him unemployable by academia.

Did you mean atheism? Contrary to popular belief Nietzsche was not an
antisemite nor would that have made someone unemployable in the 19th century.

> He was never a true recluse, at least, not any more than anyone else of the
> time period.

Given the inaccuracy of your previous statement I'd be interested in a source
to support this. Below is from beginning of Ecce Homo (I selected a work at
random -- it's really been a while since I've read any of his works, but I'm
sure all the prefaces begin in a similar fashion -- save probably A Birth of
Tragedy, since he was at that point still an academic and not actively hostile
to the entire world for ignoring his writing).

>> Seeing that shortly I must confront mankind with the heaviest demand ever
put on it, it seems to me indispensable to say who I am...But the disparity
between the greatness of my task and the smallness of my contemporaries has
found expression in the fact that one has neither heard nor even seen me.

------
brillenfux
I learned that people who need our help are rarely the people we'd _like_ to
help — often enough quite the opposite.

That's why they need our help. I don't know a good answer to that problem.

~~~
jakobegger
...and sometimes, if we do try to help them anyway, they don't want the help
we offer.

(In this case, what if the professor had contacted Alan and tried to talk him
into seeing a therapist? Alan might find that offensive.)

------
dclowd9901
I found most of the writer's own writing to be a bit pompous and unrelatable
(using verbs we don't use in real life), or a bit self-important, with a
distinct lack of empathy. We're all subject to our own experiences, which
means we should try harder to break out of them.

------
mirekrusin
What if Alan is just Jeff's alter-ego - writing emails at night just to be
read in the morning by himself?

And very much related - does anybody know why quoted strings are often written
by writers as:

... foo "bar."

and not:

... foo "bar".

? It doesn't parse, does it?

~~~
dclowd9901
Because style dictates placing the period before the quotation. Simple as
that; just an arbitrary syntax rule.

~~~
zuminator
More precisely it's US style. British style puts the full stop outside the
quote unless it's part of the quotation.

[http://www.thepunctuationguide.com/british-versus-
american-s...](http://www.thepunctuationguide.com/british-versus-american-
style.html)

------
voiptx
... Why is he not posting the piece so other people can read it. Maybe he is a
genius.

I get stuff like this all the time. Anyone with an academic email does.
Sometimes I print out some of the more entertaining maths and physics proofs
and hang them on the wall. I have a pretty good time machine schematic on my
desk atm.

------
picklebutt
Cleverly designed ad for several different writers?

~~~
cableshaft
Looks like pretty standard blogspam to promote himself and his friend's books
to me, just hidden in the article better than some other articles.

It might as well have been titled "Top 5 Books to Read Before Responding to a
Self-Important Jerk Who Threatens You".

------
golemotron
This is offensive. I know of authors who made it a point to answer all fan
mail until it became impractical. That was pre-internet era but the ethic and
the empathy were there.

It's hard to become successful and encouragement or even negative direct
feedback help people. Instead of raising that up as a value the author tells a
story about his own snark. It's not pretty and it isn't anything anyone should
congratulation him on.

~~~
djmanning
Are you upset at the author of this article or the troll? I can't tell. If
it's the author, you're reading a different article than I am. It's not "fan
mail." It's a bizarre threat from a self-important friendless twat.

------
dawnbreez
The answer is to read it, point out his mistakes, and tell him to stop
yammering about being a genius, because chances are he'll get further if he
doesn't waste too much time on bragging about nonexistent progress.

If he actually _doesn 't_ make a single mistake that you can find, it's time
to hop a step up the chain of command at your local university and do it
again.

~~~
AnimalMuppet
No. That's the answer if your goal is to spend a bunch of time helping some
random dude who just insulted you. And that's only your goal if you 1) are
extremely charitable and 2) have the time to burn.

The article's point is that, while the author does technically have the time,
he has places he'd rather spend it than on some random internet dude who just
insulted him.

------
chris_wot
If anyone wants to read the piece that Alan requested (well, demanded, but
let's not quibble) Jeff Sharlett review, you can find it here:

[https://sites.google.com/site/eternitypromised/](https://sites.google.com/site/eternitypromised/)

------
Beltiras
Classic Dunning-Kruger effect coupled with some personality disorders. Jeff
Sharlet was really kind to respond in this way but I fear the reply will not
be well received. Reading the comments you see a plethora of others that Alan
pestered as well. Many of them are well worth the read.

------
timwaagh
i think he has won and it will encourage others to do the same. provoking
people can work. bad publicity beats no publicity. now even some dude with no
interest in shakespeare has clicked his link. it's
[https://sites.google.com/site/eternitypromised/](https://sites.google.com/site/eternitypromised/)
. worse it possibly deserves a second look. is this why the famous english
professor posted this? because he secretly liked it and wanted it to be read
but be able to give the arrogant author a slap on the wrist at the same time?

------
bikamonki
Instead of taking the opportunity to lecture poor Alan (and brag his own
obvious skills), shouldn't Jeff be calling the cops instead? "Feel free to
continue to ignore my work, just be prepared to pay a price for it that you
might never have imagined.” That sounds scary to me. Unless of course Alan is
just a character and we've all been had ;)

~~~
cableshaft
I wouldn't be surprised if "Alan" is a hyperbolized amalgamation of several
requests he's gotten from random people over the years, and this is his
hypothetical response to such a person.

------
anon4
I was hoping there would be a link to "Alan"'s work so we could see for
ourselves how genius he is...

------
ktRolster
He spent more time responding to the guy than it would have taken to just read
a few pages. If he was actually going to engage with this person, it would
have been more productive (for everyone involved) to just read a bit.

------
zerooneinfinity
Now THATS how you humble brag!

------
kafkaesq
A real genius wouldn't care whether you read their work or not.

------
ricardobeat
Blank page?

~~~
Zikes
I got that as well, but a few refreshes later and it loaded. Servers must be
getting a HN hug of death.

~~~
veddox
> HN hug of death

I like that expression :-)

