
Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity? - samblr
What are some of the things you &#x27;surround&#x27; yourself to keep going even after repeated failures. Failing can be related to any task in life - startup&#x2F;job&#x2F;relationships. What are some of things which inspire you and help you pull yourself back to chug along the track again.<p>edit : + things you say no&#x2F;avoid while persevering.
======
atroyn
I realized a while ago that inspiration isn't very helpful for getting you
through adversity. Inspiration gets you going, but grit and discipline
ultimately help you push through.

I'm going to go against the grain of most of what's being said in this thread
and say that the best way to get through adversity is to discard a goal-based
mentality entirely, in favor of a system-based mentality. Figure out the stuff
you have to do every day. Get disciplined about doing that stuff. The 'small
wins' you get from just executing the loop over and over again build up a lot
of momentum over time.

I started with making my bed as soon as I got up every day, and just built on
that. When there's something new I want to do, I set up a system for it. When
the system isn't working, I change the system. Rather than deciding whether I
wanted to do something or not before doing it, I'd just do it, then reflect
afterward if that made things better or worse.

This approach got me through some really really bad times, helped me get fit,
got me through tough, stressful workloads, calmed me down in times of chaos
and helped me make the right long-term choices. I'm overall happier.

Here's some resources:

\- [http://www.slideshare.net/Scottadams925/goals-are-for-
losers...](http://www.slideshare.net/Scottadams925/goals-are-for-losers-
passion-is-overrated) \- [https://www.amazon.com/Good-They-Cant-Ignore-
You/dp/14555091...](https://www.amazon.com/Good-They-Cant-Ignore-
You/dp/1455509124/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1485096223&sr=8-1&keywords=so+good+they+can%27t+ignore+you)

edit: oh and one other thing I got out of this approach. People absolutely can
change, it just takes a lot longer than people usually put on. I'm a different
person from who I was ~4 years ago, mostly in a positive way.

~~~
johnnyg
This is right.

Business is a suffering contest. Life ends in death.

There are beautiful things in both, but more times than not, despite all
signals and urges to stop or give up, you must will yourself to keep moving
your feet.

Those few who do give themselves the best chance to overcome adversity.

~~~
rustynails
I respect your comment and the one you responded to. Being an old school nerd,
only the toughest survived with a love of technology back then. I recall a
stream of bullying and it either makes or breaks you. However, being a nerd is
no longer the same as it was back then.

What frustrates me today is how the media (collectively) have revised the
history books and promote some fairly extreme bullying (see the verge's
article on Matt Taylor as an example of some extreme and unjustified bullying
of Matt based on his gender).

I believe overcoming adversity is recognising you are not a victim and
recognising there is something bigger than you. You are not a gender, you are
not a skin colour, you are not a religion or an age group. If you can rise
above these things, you are a huge step to overcoming adversity. You stop
looking down on others and yourself.

I can't help but feel our society is further from this goal than I have ever
seen in my lifetime. While it doesn't impact me personally, it disappoints me
at how much we've regressed in even the last 10 years.

~~~
jolux
>Being an old school nerd, only the toughest survived with a love of
technology back then.

Ah yes, only the toughest survive. Tech nerds are so tough that they get
offended when somebody doesn't like their shirt.

>What frustrates me today is how the media (collectively) have revised the
history books and promote some fairly extreme bullying (see the verge's
article on Matt Taylor as an example of some extreme and unjustified bullying
of Matt based on his gender).

They were complaining that he was wearing a shirt with scantily clad women on
it? How is that gender-based harassment? Furthermore, how does it constitute
revising history?

>You are not a gender, you are not a skin colour, you are not a religion or an
age group. If you can rise above these things, you are a huge step to
overcoming adversity. You stop looking down on others and yourself.

Unless you are in the category of people with the highest level of privilege
in our society, you are not allowed to forget these aspects of your identity.
The police, public restrooms, inaccessible buildings, and other people will
relentlessly remind you of your abnormality and victimize you.

~~~
thecupisblue
>Ah yes, only the toughest survive. Tech nerds are so tough that they get
offended when somebody doesn't like their shirt.

No, you would know it was due to real, physical bullying back then. Not
"someone said something I don't like on the internet", but injuring someone
and/or degrading them publically due to them loving technology.

Oh, while we're at public degradation. >They were complaining that he was
wearing a shirt with scantily clad women on it? How is that gender-based
harassment?

He was wearing a shirt his female friend made for him. She wasn't harassed for
making it, he was - because he is a white male in a science field, the social
justice warriors of the internet decided he is a target for abuse and public
degradation, that a shirt is a reason women aren't getting into science. They
decided he is a "misogynist" and a "sexist pigdog". That's abuse. That's
bullying.

>Unless you are in the category of people with the highest level of privilege
in our society, you are not allowed to forget these aspects of your identity.
The police, public restrooms, inaccessible buildings, and other people will
relentlessly remind you of your abnormality and victimize you.

Really? And let me guess, that would be a straight white male. You're doing a
good job of reminding people of their abnormality and victimizing them.

~~~
jolux
>No, you would know it was due to real, physical bullying back then. Not
"someone said something I don't like on the internet", but injuring someone
and/or degrading them publically due to them loving technology.

When exactly is "back then" though? I went through school about ten years ago
and was beaten up for nerdiness all the time, why people think they can
leverage this into a lifetime of misogyny is beyond me. Everyone takes shit in
grade school, kids are mean.

>He was wearing a shirt his female friend made for him.

That doesn't make it not sexist.

>She wasn't harassed for making it, he was - because he is a white male in a
science field

No, she wasn't harassed because she wasn't wearing it.

>the social justice warriors of the internet decided he is a target for abuse
and public degradation, that a shirt is a reason women aren't getting into
science. They decided he is a "misogynist" and a "sexist pigdog". That's
abuse. That's bullying.

It's too bad a man was called a misogynist on the internet, it must have
really hurt his feelings. I thought people like you think SJWs need to grow a
thicker skin? Resilience is a two-way street, pal. If you expect us to be
tolerant of your abuse, you'd better be tolerant of ours.

>And let me guess, that would be a straight white male.

Good boy! Here's your cookie.

>You're doing a good job of reminding people of their abnormality and
victimizing them.

There's a certain kind of conservative who seems to think that any
discrepancies in equality in modern western culture are due to individual
failings of will because we made sexism and racism illegal like, last century,
dude. I don't need to remind people of their abnormality, it's impossible for
them to ignore.

I know because I'm neither straight nor a male. (though I am most certainly
white) Far before anybody could tell me I was oppressed, I experienced
oppression. In particular people in grade school beat me up for expressing
femininity, because it is considered unacceptable for men to act feminine in
our culture. Telling me I'm not a victim while I'm lying in a puddle of my own
schoolwork mixed with other peoples' spit getting the shit kicked out of me
doesn't make you clever or objective, it makes you a sadistic asshole.

------
jasim
"Most things are forgotten over time. Even the war itself, the life-and-death
struggle people went through, is now like something from the distant past.
We're so caught up in our everyday lives that events of the past, like ancient
stars that have burned out, are no longer in orbit around our minds. There are
just too many things we have to think about every day, too many new things we
have to learn."

\- Kafka on the Shore, Murakami

Under immensely troubling times - not as bad as war or famine, but much worse
than a startup or relationship failure - these books kept me going:

    
    
      - The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday
      - Mastery by Robert Greene
      - Courage Under Fire by James B Stockdale
      - Gratitude by Oliver Sacks
      - Being Mortal by Atul Gawande

------
vr46
My parents worked their nuts off to pay for my education and provide security
for the family - my dear old late dad woke up at 4am EVERY SINGLE DAY of the
year, except Christmas Day, to work for me, basically. There's no way I'm
giving up on anything.

I have a ridiculously easy life compared to them, and because of them. That's
my main motivation, apart from my own young family.

And I surround myself mostly with talented friends who work their nuts off
too. Failures are no big deal, unless you don't learn something.

~~~
jat850
Not your fault, but your comment made me subtly sad that I haven't repaid the
same sacrifice and commitment from my family with as much as they deserved.
They too worked very hard to provide and give a good life for me, and through
naivety, youth, inexperience, laziness - I pissed a large portion of it away.

I try to do better now, but I think I'll always carry some personal guilt over
that. I can't fix the past, but I can work harder and try to correct some of
my mistakes.

 _edit_ I neglected to note that you mentioned your dad to have passed. Take
reassurance in that a brief comment on the internet, I think you've done him
proud.

~~~
cushychicken
It's a debt that's generally paid forward, not back. You still have a shot.

~~~
jat850
You're right, of course. And that's what I will try to do with current and
future opportunities and choices. I appreciate the perspective and
encouragement.

------
imgabe
The only option if you want to succeed is to keep trying.

A while ago I went to China. After visiting Hong Kong, where I had a few
friends who lived there to help me out, and the city itself is fairly
westernized and friendly to foreigners, I flew directly into Xi'an.

Xi'an is where the Terra Cotta warriors are, but despite those being a fairly
large tourist attraction, the city itself is very...Chinese. Very few people
speak English, and for myself who had never been alone in such a foreign place
before it was bewildering. I finally understood the concept of "culture
shock".

I was only planning to be there for one day, and I wasted most of the morning
trying to get a train ticket to Shanghai. It was getting late and I couldn't
figure out how to actually get to the place where you could see the Terra
Cotta warriors. I'm a naturally shy person and the idea of flagging down a
stranger who didn't speak my language and trying to gesticulate and get my
point across was terrifying.

Still, what it came down to, was that in all likelihood I was never going to
be here again in my life. And did I really fly halfway around the frigging
world just to get there and NOT go see the damn Terra Cotta warriors? There
was no way I could let that happen.

So, ultimately, I just got over it, walked up to the first friendly looking
person I could find, pointed to the Terra Cotta warriors section in my
guidebook (where the name was written in Mandarin) and made some inquisitive
noises. He ended up pointing me towards where I could catch the bus, so I got
there with plenty of time to see them and make it back to catch my train.

I know as far as "adversity" goes it's pretty lame, but it was a big deal for
me. What inspired me to persevere was the simple fact that, really, it was the
only way to get what I wanted. That's what it comes down to. Do you want the
thing you're going after more than you want to avoid the obstacles in the way?
If you do, you'll keep going.

~~~
bitwize
I went to Japan a few years back. Almost no one speaks any practical English
in Japan. So I was like "Well, after wanting to go for years and years, I'm
finally here. It's a different country, home is a planet's breadth away, and
no one speaks my language. If I want anything, I can ask for it in shitty
Japanese and be thought a fool, or I can repeat English phrases as if that
would help any and remove all doubt."

I did gain considerable experience with the language, and I found a way to do
or obtain anything I wanted (sometimes by asking for an English speaker to
help me).

My mom still wonders how I did it -- find my way in a completely foreign
country where the language and customs are so thorought different. I keep
telling her, it's just a matter of having the gumption to do it. Knowing
Japanese helps, but learning as I went (as I was forced to do) helped me more.

------
dzink
Having seen far worse adversity in the past, I see the opportunities I have
today as a reward I should consume as thoroughly as possible. I've watched my
parents struggle as entrepreneurs in the middle of rural Bulgaria. I worked my
behind off to be able to excel in school, move to the US, learn how to build
anything I want through tech, get my citizenship, move to Silicon Valley,
build the relationships I have, and become financially independent enough to
build things I know matter to the world. God knows what may happen tomorrow?
Every single minute matters. Every single effort, and problem solved, and
obstacle overcome, and person served, and relationship strengthened, and
insight gained matter. If I can't work I will learn, if I can't learn I will
sleep and recover my body, so I can work and learn better tomorrow. I've
worked too hard to miss this moment.

------
moh_maya
What else can you do? If you have a target or want to achieve something, the
only option available is to try again.

What helps me is knowing that I have people who care deeply for me,and who I
care for just as much.

I could quit, but, given all my blessings and the support I have, I wouldn't
be able to face myself if I quit.

I've had / survived some very difficult times (borderline starvation, seen my
partner pass away due to cancer, been subject to significant violence and have
been the source of similar violence..), so I don't think I'm being facetious.

What keeps me going is my friends and family. And ironically, given all my
experience(s), an enduring faith in humanity, that, over time, the future will
always be better than the present.

To paraphrase Churchill, "you can always count on humanity to do the right
thing after it has tried everything else"

~~~
bogomipz
>"To paraphrase Churchill, "you can always count on humanity to do the right
thing after it has tried everything else"

The quote is actually:

"Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing…after they have
exhausted all other possibilities."

But of course the same sentiment can be generalized for any group. Even though
Churchill is credited there is no actual record or evidence of him ever saying
this. And he likely never did.

I'm not trying to nitpick, but as big Churchill fan I only found this out
fairly recently and so thought I would mention it :)

[http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/11/11/exhaust-
alternatives...](http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/11/11/exhaust-
alternatives/#note-4763-8)

~~~
vanderreeah
The parent post speaks of his/her starvation and a partner dying. You make a
pedantic comment on his/her paraphrase. You are both insensitive, and you do
not know what "paraphrase" means. Also, being a fan of a racist imperialist is
sort of an awkward thing to confess to.

~~~
bogomipz
Wow, are you self-righteous and judgemental!

I am a fan of Winston Churchill the war-time Prime Minister that stood up to
Hitler and helped save Britain and Europe from the Nazis. There is no shame in
that. Does that mean I agree with everyone of his personal views? No of course
not.

Where do you get off passing judgement, being the moral police, and projecting
onto others like that?

Paraphrasing and attributing a quote to a specific individual are two entirely
different things. Paraphrasing is approximating the quote, not who said it. It
sounds like you might not understand what paraphrase means.

This is a discussion on Hacker News where discourse often unfolds in different
and tangential directions.

I even stated my intention was not to nitpick but that I thought it was
interesting as its such an oft-citied and well-known quote with its own
uncertain history(provided in the link)

~~~
vanderreeah
I made a moral judgement, which IMHO is not the same as being judgemental or
"the moral police". If, as you say, discourse on HN often unfolds in
tangential directions, surely moral tangents like mine are as permissible as
historical ones like yours?

~~~
bogomipz
I didn't pass judgement on anyone or any thing.

You did however. You called me insensitive and a fan of racist imperialism.
And no, thats not acceptable or fair. It's just lame.

And the fact that you continue using your own twisted perception of something
as justification for your uncalled for remarks is lamer still. Grow up.

~~~
vanderreeah
You are right that I passed judgement on you - I found your post offensive and
insensitive. It is fair that I call you out on it. The fact that you continue
to defend your insensitivity speaks volumes.

------
malux85
"Evolution forged the entirety of sentient life on this planet using only one
tool ... The mistake"

If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.

The search space for successful strategies is vast, you must experience
failure in order to determine direction to success.

If I'm seeking inspiration, I look to a higher power - Bill Gates, Poe, Arxiv
Papers, GitHub. Find inspiration in observing what is greater than yourself

------
duncanawoods
I'm not sure that failure is the word you want - I would call them setbacks.
Failure suggests finality, it is the point where you are out of options and
have to change goals. Overcoming failure means how to restart on a new goal
after giving up on the last one. Overcoming setbacks means how to stay focused
on a goal despite interference and things not happening as you hope.

My simplest answer is to pick the right goal. You know its the right goal when
you can envisage countless possible setbacks but it would seem absurd that
they could cause you to abandon your goal. Give up on reaching the Olympics
because you run out of money, have a bout of flu, or a parent dies? It should
feel like a non-sequitur. Your goal needs rise above the inevitable twists and
turns of life - it should not just be a "fair weather" goal you would drop
when clouds pile in.

Your interest in the goal should be deep. It should not be for the moment it
can be said it is done but for the transformation that achieving that goal
brings. You must not simply want to reach a finish line, you have to want the
life that comes after crossing that finishing line. If life after reaching a
goal is little different or you are indifferent to that life, it is a weak
goal, it won't sustain you through the hard times.

~~~
z3t4
you need to like the life you'll live to get there. most olympians like
training above all else, just like great entreprenours like working above all
else.

~~~
weego
I completely disagree that working above all else is the hallmark of great
entrepreneurs.

~~~
ci5er
I don't know many lazy successful people (there are a few, though!)

Maybe not 'the', but 'a'?

What do you think "the hallmark" is?

~~~
capitalsigma
There's a difference between enjoying your job and not having any desires to
do anything else. The former is normal and healthy, the latter is (imo) not a
good strategy for working efficiently. I love my job but I don't think I'd be
better at it if I poured 100+ hours/week into it. I'd probably just feel burnt
out and unproductive.

~~~
ci5er
Maybe so. Probably so. Most people. But I'm having a difficult reaching the
bottom of the binary declarations up-stream. Commenter #1 said, essentially,
"Loving work the most is key". Commenter #2 responded (I summarize): "Nuh uh."

I don't think anyone said anything about 100+ hours/week. I was hoping that
commenter #2 might appear and give us some deep insights, but that appears to
have been a bridge too far...

I don't have a 9~5 working for the man, but there is very little that happens
during my waking hours that I wouldn't classify as related to work. I'm
fortunate that this is not one task, so it doesn't weigh on me like fighting
with a C compiler while sitting under florescent lights in a cube farm might.
That's kind of work is fine - I like that too - but I couldn't do it for more
than about 70-80 hours/week.

------
7402
A short collection of sayings by the stoic philosopher Epictetus called The
Enchiridion.

There's a free copy at
[http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html](http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html)

Sample:

"Remember that you are an actor in a drama, of such a kind as the author
pleases to make it. If short, of a short one; if long, of a long one. If it is
his pleasure you should act a poor man, a cripple, a governor, or a private
person, see that you act it naturally. For this is your business, to act well
the character assigned you; to choose it is another's."

~~~
ridgeguy
A question from someone largely ignorant of Stoicism, generated by the last
clause in your quote from The Enchiridion:

How does a Stoic change his/her lot in life, given that Stoicism assigns
choice of that lot to an externality? Or does that question lack meaning
within Stoicism?

~~~
RockyMcNuts
Your lot is that you were born a human being, on planet Earth, in this time.
You cannot change that. You are, however, fully in control of your thoughts
and actions, and can live in the present and make your time as aware, useful
and meaningful as possible. If you do that, you will be better in the future
and your future self will be grateful to your present self.

------
tomhoward
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

If the outcome you're working towards is sufficiently worthy, and you can feel
yourself making even just a little bit of progress toward that outcome every
day and every week, then you can get by just fine.

~~~
hownottowrite
+1 to this... It's also the heart of Viktor Frankl's _Man 's Search for
Meaning_ [0]. This will keep you going even under the worst of circumstances.

[0]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man's_Search_for_Meaning](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man's_Search_for_Meaning)

------
UhUhUhUh
I'd say anger. Close second, denial. I am aware that these two aspects are at
the very bottom of the generally accepted lists but they have been and still
are my only way outs. Anger provides the juice, denial a sense of limitless
optimism. I think that without a minimum of these two, we shrivel and die.
That said, I consider myself lucky that, due to my psychological structure,
anger is not turned against myself (i.e. depression) and that denial never
fully violates reality (e.g. delusion). This combination has always generated
enough energy and creativity to pull me out of stagnation. When anger runs
out, because I'm tired mostly, I practice "wu-wei", do nothing. Failure
doesn't exist for me: it is but a phase of improving. The meme "failure is not
an option", pisses me off because I believe in just the opposite: failure is
the only option. When I decide to make my bed first thing in the morning, as
cleverly suggested by atroyn, it is out of anger. "I will not be negated".
Same thing when I push through a rep that I don't want to do (at my age,
pretty much every single one of them). Denial is, I believe, vastly under-
rated. It sits along the path to the solution of any problem. It is the
essence of out-of-the-box thinking. It is also what prevents us to think about
our death all the time.

------
jacques_chester
I've been depressed on and off for as long as I can remember.

These days I know it pretty well and basically manage it out of habit and
experience.

This doesn't prevent events from pushing me into a depressive episode, but it
does mean I know what steps I need to take to get through and get out. Because
in the depths of suicidal depression, I know in my _bones_ that it's
pointless, meaningless etc. But I know in my _head_ that this is just a
feeling, no matter how real it feels, and that it won't last forever.

I did a talk about living with depression and ADHD last year, which might be
of interest[0].

[0]
[http://original.livestream.com/pivotallabs/video?clipId=pla_...](http://original.livestream.com/pivotallabs/video?clipId=pla_ac54acde-e927-48be-8866-fdfa61ec757c)

~~~
hacker_9
Might be a long shot, but I often find I link my body state to my mind state
unconsciously. Meaning if my body is struggling because of lack of attention
in some area, the mind interprets itself as being depressed/sad/angry. I know
when I look after my body - striving to drink a min of 3L of water a day,
limiting sugar, getting up and away from the computer when I can, doing simple
exercises throughout the day (yoga, presssups, pullups) - all leads to a much
improved body state which in turn makes huge differences in my mood. This in
turn increases productivity, outlook on life and so on.

It's a marathon though, and you have to keep it up. The body doesn't exactly
make it's feelings clear either! Anyway not trying to simplify your problem,
best of luck.

~~~
jacques_chester
Yes, the brain is absolutely embedded in the body, and part of my self-
management is regular sleep, exercising and so on. I cover this in the talk I
linked.

For me, these prevent or ameliorate _some_ , but not _all_ , of my depressive
episodes. I must periodically rely on medication to protect myself from
myself.

I draw this distinction because people with depression are commonly given
advice by well-meaning associates that exercise, diet and sleep will fix their
depression.

For severe depression it probably won't, and in many cases, severely depressed
people are not able to pick up even minor changes without what feels like a
great deal of effort.

In general, if you think you have depression, you should seek professional
attention. For most people it is highly treatable.

------
SFJulie
I just remember God does not exist, and thus my failures are not due to an
hidden goal.

Then I breath.

I remember that keeping faith is about accepting failures : there is no win if
there is no risks.

Fear and anxiety kills the spirit. I know they are direct consequences of
failures, and I accept them. It does not mean I let fear rule my life.

Then, I remember our wold is about luck. So, I plan my next try at doing
something, and I look back at my failures to see what valuables lessons I
learned.

Basically they boil down to: work hard, keep it simple, and don't get tricked
again in investing your time/money/energy/emotions in stuff that don't make
you feel good. Love your self and who you are not a cool picture built for
being accepted by others. Life is no popularity contest.

Failures taught me I can rise again. Success taught me it is all about luck.
Failures and success taught me that the only way to potentially win is to try
again.

And why do I try that much? Because, well, it is in my Nature, and the more
the competition is unfair like nowadays, the more it makes me want to defy the
odds because I am bored.

I don't know what your motivations are, I just know mine.

But failures should have taught you a great load of things you can use to
understand your true self and empower it.

Failures are so valuable I regret not having failed when I was younger. There
is a curse in being lucky, I am glad my curse was lifted.

------
ratpik
Having a constant that stays with you in good times and bad has helped me.
Could be a person, a piece of music, a book, a video/tv series/movie or just a
long a walk.

Following stoicism helps. I read the book listed below that explains it well.
My main takeaway from that book was that it is much easier to be happy if one
stops caring about two things - External validation and Instant Gratification.

"One of the great fears many of us face is that despite all our effort and
striving, we will discover at the end that we have wasted our life." \-
[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5617966-a-guide-to-
the-g...](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5617966-a-guide-to-the-good-
life)

[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26043368-the-gita-for-
ch...](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26043368-the-gita-for-children)
answers questions like 'How can one win a war when it involves killing ones
own family?' with teachings like 'Do your duty with single minded focus and
great sincerity, without worrying about the results of the work'

~~~
palerdot
I'm from India. Glad you quoted from gita. There is another succinct version,
loosely translated as "the essence of gita". I scoured for a relevant English
version and found something here which might be relevant -
[http://www.indiastudychannel.com/resources/52974-English-
tra...](http://www.indiastudychannel.com/resources/52974-English-translation-
of-Geethasaram-of-Lord-Krishna.aspx)

------
Sakes
For me, it's fear, fear of being dependent upon an economic/labor system that
does not favor labor. If you are not an owner, and make a living selling your
time, you are threatened by both outsourcing and automation.

As a programmer / engineer / whatever label you want to give, it is a little
easier for us to adjust to changing labor conditions because our careers, as
long as not overly specialized, require constant learning.

But I'd prefer not to live a life competing with people all over the globe, or
being blindsided by some tech that can execute a majority of my
responsibilities as an employee.

------
wpietri
For me, some of the things are:

* purpose - if I am up to something meaningful, that carries me through dips

* team - I don't like letting people down, so having a team I care about matters

* habits - things like my Sunday run to the ocean keep my life going automatically, meaning setbacks feel less like catastrophes

* friends - everybody has failures; friends support me through mine and tell me about theirs, which helps with perspective

* seeing feelings as transient - a meditation practice has helped me recognize that feelings come and go, and to breathe through them

------
cobbzilla
I have a few North Stars that keep me going:

* _" Be a light"_ I can bring joy to other people in the world, and that there is still so much more to do.

* _" Bask in the light of loved ones"_ The love of friends and family, even when I feel like I've let them down.

* _" Don't be so hard on yourself"_ A self-love that allows me to forgive myself for my many fuck-ups. Not always without regret and never without reflection and learning, but eventually I do get there.

* _" Don't stop dreaming"_ A deep-seated desire to help all fellow humans reach their fullest potential; to express themselves with their fullest freedom. This one is the most abstract, the "farthest" of my North Stars; it's so faint I'm sometimes not sure it actually exist. Perhaps this is the closest I come to that thing called "faith".

------
CptJamesCook
If you are a man, you don't have a choice but to persevere. Society doesn't
care about you if you are a poor, unsuccessful man.

~~~
billylindeman
Sad Truth.

------
yotamoron
A learning mindset.

When you treat each experience in life as a learning experience, it becomes
much easier to persevere.

Another very useful skill, it not running away from pain or failure. This is
not to say 'learn from your failures', but 'let the pain and anguish sink in'.
Remember this pain, realize it is there and what caused it. Next time you
encounter fear or hardships, the intuitive memory of the past pain - the one
you didn't run away from or tried to suppress - will help you. I know it
helped (and helps) me many, many times.

------
rrggrr
Absurdism. Shake your head and laugh at the absurd struggles we endure as
humans and subvert the inevitability and absurdity of it by persisting anyway.
Continuing to show up and push is the ultimate satirical act of defiance
against the human condition.

~~~
atroyn
That's Camus right?

~~~
rrggrr
Yes, though I came upon it myself the hard way... adolescent angst.

------
WheelsAtLarge
Interesting you ask, I just finished hearing NPR's Hidden Brain podcast. The
podcast's advice is to do a wayfind to find your way. Define 3 ideal life
paths, analyse all 3 and pick the best one to follow. If what you picked does
not work then try again. Do this until you find your way forward.

Here's a link: "Episode 56: Getting Unstuck"
[http://one.npr.org/?sharedMediaId=507930318:507930414](http://one.npr.org/?sharedMediaId=507930318:507930414)

------
bubblesocks
I found the information in the book _The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck_ , by
Mark Manson, to be quite useful in overcoming adversity.

While the title is a bit on the nose, Manson's premise is basically that we
need to identify what is important in our life, and then eliminate our
worrying about all the trivial things we run into every day.

For me, this was my family and religion (yes, religion). I realized that as
long as my wife and kids were there, and I had someplace to dump my personal
issues (religion), my job really didn't matter much, since my skills are
transferable elsewhere. I didn't quit my job, but I certainly don't rank it in
the top-ten important things to worry about, like I used to.

Seeing as my job is about 90% of the adversity I face in life, just making
that mental change resulted in a tremendous amount of joy and satisfaction.

------
TheAlchemist
Inner scorecard. The things you named, and to which we usually pay attention,
are all external and involve a lot of external circumstances over which you
have no control. However, if you do the right things, improve yourself every
day, you're already a success.

I love this speech by Coach Wooden and highly recommend watching:
[https://www.ted.com/talks/john_wooden_on_the_difference_betw...](https://www.ted.com/talks/john_wooden_on_the_difference_between_winning_and_success)

PS. Also, having kids is a huge motivator. You realize that you are a living
role model to them and what you do and how you behave will influence them for
their entire life. And as you want to show your kids the best of humanity and
positive qualities, you simple have no choice but to show them in yourself !

------
bane
I usually find that I feel that failure "feels" very unfair if I failed when
giving it my all. I find I face two choices then, give up, focus on what went
wrong, get depressed and drop out. Or feel indignant anger, learn from what
went right and try again.

Maybe not the healthiest way to do it, but I've never been one of those
positive can do types -- or at least cultivating that kind of mindset never
seems to carry the day for me. Operating out of anger and trying to make the
world fair seems to be what gets the best results for me.

However, it may not work for others, wanting to see fair outcomes is a very
deep seated compulsion for me, so I can latch onto that to drive motivation.

------
swframe
Giving up usually doesn't help. Just taking time to identify the root causes
often leads to a simple and better solution.

Unfortunately, I am rarely able to convince others to follow along.

My company is extremely successful and our spectacular failures (often
discussed on HN) pales in comparison to our success. I worked for several
groups that lost multi-billion dollar markets because they were unwilling to
make simple and obvious changes. For example, don't focus on our success and
claim victory; look at our failures and make corrective actions. Seems pretty
simple but maybe due to the innovator's dilemma, no one seems to care.

------
jezclaremurugan
Learned optimism - or at least this blog post -
[https://github.com/raganwald/presentations/blob/master/optim...](https://github.com/raganwald/presentations/blob/master/optimism.md)
Changed my whole outlook.

~~~
fspear
I keep finding that no matter how much I want to be an optimist I cannot. The
problem I have with it is that it feels as if I'm deluding myself whenever I
try to be optimistic about anything and I can't hold it for any significant
amount of time, perhaps I get too carried away when I become "optimistic".

Maybe it's just me but would you have any tips to overcome or at least come to
terms with this mentality?

~~~
jezclaremurugan
I read a quote somewhere "remember in the dark, what you saw in the light" \-
what I do is list the reasons why I believe in a plan or something, and when
the doubts come, I validate it against the list of reasons. If the doubts
actually invalidate the reason, it is a valid case for concern, but more often
than not, its just me forgetting the reasons I first believed in something.
This works when I start a project too - a list of reasons why I need to
complete that..

------
kylehotchkiss
This will sound lame but for me it's always been routine. Being able to work a
full day when my personal life feels like it's falling apart has done wonders
in distracting me to when my emotions calm down to the point where I can make
more mature decisions later on when I feel cooled off.

------
zachsnow
I have tried to set the things that I care about in my life up such that
failures are interesting. What I mean is the places that I focus most of my
time (my company, writing software, surfing) are those in which failures
(ideally) imply learning. Since I like learning things, this is enjoyable.
Hence "persevering" (fixing my mistakes, learning not to make them again) is
fun, and thereby easy.

This hasn't always proved possible for me. You mention relationships: I
haven't ever found a way to make failing in those fun.

------
thret
In the specific case where adversity = pain, I'm almost embarrassed to admit I
fall back on a line from Firefly: "This is just a moment in time. Step aside
and let it happen." Because whatever you're going through now, it will be
buried safely in the past pretty soon.

------
leighelse
Some things that have worked for me:

1\. A wise mentor once told me never to get all my satisfaction from one
source. If I give everything to my job when it's going well, my job can take
everything away when it turns bad. Keeping several balls in the air means that
at any given time at least one of them is likely to be spinning well. For me
at the moment it's developing software, making music and keeping fit. 2\.
Habits have saved me more than once in times of crisis. There are a lot of
decisions I never need to make because they're already habitual. I don't find
this makes life boring; rather, it frees me to focus on the important. 3\.
When things are tough, I buy some deferred gratification. This could be seats
at a concert in three months time, a ticket in next week's lottery or
arranging to meet friends for a coffee on the weekend. 4\. When things get
grim, I cut alcohol completely from my diet. A drink or two may seem a
temporary escape from the pressures of the situation but, for me at least,
alcohol is a poor ally in adversity. 5\. Under extreme pressure I've observed
that I usually start by looking for a way out of the situation, become
depressed when I can't find one, and eventually discover the inner
determination to master the problem. I remind myself of this pattern when I
see trouble coming.

------
dizzystar
I learn from my failures and victories. My very large failures could only
happen because there was a large victory in the first place. Nine foot tall
and bullet proof becomes the bigger they are, the bigger they fall.

I know that I'm not, statistically speaking, entirely possible. I'm "supposed"
to be dead, in prison, on drugs, homeless, and a missing parent, on welfare,
and pretty much every other not-great thing I could be.

When someone sits in front of me and judges me unfairly, I can be upset with
them and feel like I need to work harder to fit in with them, or I can simply
be happy that they will never understand the person they are talking to, and
for that, I should be grateful for their naivety and for the fact that I
accomplished enough to even talk to them in the first place. I can choose to
go home and be angry, or I can choose to go home and continue working and seek
out people that matter. It's all about mindset: talking to this person, in
isolation, was a failure, but the fact that I got to sit in that chair is the
culmination of all of my prior hard wok and victories.

If there is one thing I've learned over and over again, adversity is only as
permanent as you want it to be. This doesn't mean your dream job is just
around the corner; it means that no matter how low you go, you can always do
one thing better to improve every single day, and that adds up. Consider your
options, learn to walk tall and walk away from bad moments, and understand
that the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and
expecting different results.

------
pasbesoin
Physical health and enjoying the day. If you don't have that, you can and will
-- sooner or later -- chuck all the rest.

Seriously. Make sure you have enough enjoyment in _today._ That is your
starting point.

(E.g. Fresh scents on a walk. Startling at the sound of a goose's wingsweep,
overhead. A good cup of coffee. A good, perhaps even spontaneous -- or,
especially, spontaneous -- conversation. Enough sleep and exercise.

Not big, "I should" goals. Here and now.)

------
DelaneyM
Adversity is an illusion, relatively.

I'm known as a relatively unflappable person who excels under pressure, but
that's not entirely true. The reality is that after spending a few years in my
teens couch surfing and sleeping under park benches, supporting myself with
off-book babysitting and other more dubious gigs, I just have a very different
definition of "adversity".

Got food and shelter? It's not a disaster, just an interesting challenge.

------
tyingq
Having kids helps. You feel this sort of obligation to stay positive and stay
enough above water (financially, emotionally, etc) to support them.

I wonder how differently I might approach things had I never started a family.

------
yokisan
Go outside and look at the night sky, if you can. Gazing into that vast
beautiful unknown, at the same stars that our ancestors saw when they looked
up, is awe inspiring.

And knowing that we have it better than they ever did - despite our challenges
- is humbling.

It cuts out any notion that you 'deserve' anything and reminds you that
setbacks don't matter. Just keep going.

------
raverbashing
\- Understanding what caused the failure

\- Understanding your limitations

\- Thinking "How can you not make the same mistake again"

\- Understanding that for every public success there are tens or hundreds of
failures that have not come to light

------
danm07
It's 10 times more painful to spend my time on anything I don't truly believe
in. I tend to think the default state of existence is discontentness, and so
we're always going to be upset over something at one point or another. In my
experience, there is more piece of mind with struggling against important
issues than trivial ones.

------
ptero
I think you are asking about setbacks, not adversity. If so, having a list of
examples showing that most achievements (science, engineering, sports, etc.)
are the end node of a long list of failures. Those failures are just not just
publicised that often.

Setbacks are normal. The only way to avoid sequences of them is not to try
new, ambitious things

------
sibylsyndrome
If you're on a "failing trajectory" but there's work in front of you, block
out everything except for the work. If you can't handle that, then take a
break and then get back at it. If it's something you really don't want to fail
at, then there's probably something about it that you really love. Try to
discover that again, without worrying about the untold future. If you focus in
every moment, then you WILL make progress -- if only bit by bit.

Don't compare yourself to other people, but recognize that you're probably
incredibly lucky to have any opportunity to fail at in the first place. Think
about your accomplishments and setbacks as a set of experiences that will only
ever help you in the future -- not as liabilities on paper.

Finally, don't complain. It's difficult at first, but it'll help keep you away
from self-pity.

~~~
andai
Your comment reminded me of Karma Yoga, the practice of taking action without
attachment to the outcome.

------
xellisx
It used to be to show off what I could do (which was a big high), then after
my wife died unexpectedly (She was 36 and I was 35), I've only done stuff to
help my co-employee's to their jobs (which is a high, but i'm most lack luster
in my attitude in wanting to get it done). Depression is a bitch.

------
d0m
Much easier if you plan for it.

When starting a project, one of the inevitable outcome is failure so it's
worth thinking about what would happen in that case. I.e. plan for the good
but also the bad.

Also, it's important to look at the longer goal. You can either succeed or
fail, but make sure it gets you closer to that goal.

------
notdonspaulding

        My hope is built on nothing less,
        than Jesus blood and righteousness!
        I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
        but wholly lean on Jesus name!
        
        On Christ the solid rock I stand,
        all other ground is sinking sand.
        All other ground is sinking sand!

------
alfonsodev
To me Perseverance means to BE what you DO. It's incredibly hard to give up
who you are, your identity, isn't it? So once you truly do and you become what
you do, to persevere is the only option.

But is a coin of two sides, that's why you can see people that are so attached
to what they do that they find impossible to give up things, even when it
doesn't make sense to continue.

To me I'm afraid of the opposite that you are asking to persevere when I
shouldn't. What I do to deal with this concern is to try to be aware of how
I'm attached to what I'm doing, re-evaluate time to time, and think if I'm
with the right people in the journey, if I'm enjoining it and if I believe on
what I'm doing. All these kind of questions.

------
panlana
Life isn't solvable, only livable. Some later "successes" require previous
"failures". It's part of the whole life.

~~~
elt0n
Some "successes" may lead to "failures" too.

~~~
mathgeek
All successes lead to failures, and all failures lead to successes. No one
moment in life can be completely disjointed from any other. The only finality
is when life ends, and even that can be philosophically extended through the
effect one has on those to come.

~~~
elt0n
True dat!

------
techwizrd
I would love to say that my motivator is some great inspiration or having a
system. I'd love to say it's some greater purpose. The truth of the matter is
that while those exist, my chief motivator is the fear of admitting failure to
myself.

------
hliyan
Remembering the alternative: never making mistakes, therefore never learning
from mistakes and when you do finally come up against a problem that's beyond
you, you fall all the more harder. There's no greater teacher than a mistake.
The brain is more malleable in the presence of pain -- use it to reprogram
yourself based on what you've learned from the mistake.

Another thing I vaguely remember reading here on HN: you probably make 10-12
major decisions in your adult life. Nobody get's a 100% right. So everyone has
a quota of two or three major screw-ups in life. Treat it that way, push it to
the past and move on.

------
hacker_9
_" You may wait but time will not"_

Additionally failure is a big part of the learning process, and each failure
brings you closer to success because you now have a life experience that you
can use to shape your future choices.

------
stretchwithme
Probably to leave a mark on the world and to make life better for those I care
about. To avoid poverty and lack of options.

In addition to inspiration, managing one's emotions certainly can help.

One thing I always tell myself is that if the current struggle doesn't work
out, there are always family members whose basement I could live in. So a
failure in one struggle is not an existential threat. That makes it less
stressful to keep going.

I also try to focus on doing one thing at a time and the physical actions
required. Be in the moment and you are out of your head. Progress is taking
one step at a time.

------
Nomentatus
[Learned helplessness vs perseverence; in dogs, rats and humans]

Seligman called these differences our explanatory style. Some people were
naturally inclined to believe that bad things will keep happening to us and
that they are our fault. Some were naturally inclined toward the opposite—bad
things are happening now, but they’ll stop and they’re not our fault. The
former were those who were prone to depression; the latter were those who
tended to bounce back. Seligman believed that humans, like dogs, could be
taught to become more resilient, a phenomenon he called learned optimism. … In
1984, he published a review of the evidence. First, he and his colleagues had
found that the way people explained bad events to themselves really did link
closely to depression risk. It was true in students, in people from low
socioeconomic backgrounds, in children, and, predictably, in depressed
patients. And, importantly, training people to change their explanatory
habits—to more narrow, external, and transient—seemed to help them overcome
existing depression and, in some cases, prevent its onset even when other risk
factors were high.

[http://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/theory-
psyc...](http://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/theory-psychology-
justified-torture)

------
throwaway4133
I remember that I love what I do, and stay positive. The Marines call it
"Positive Mental Attitude". The left my last employer(a start up) after they
hadn't paid for a month in May, and fell pretty hard into drug addiction(meth
+ benzos). Since I cleaned up, I've only done a little consulting and writing,
so getting another job without fulltime work has meant jobs I would have
turned down a year ago aren't even getting back to me. Do I care? Yea, I do.
But I can't go back, I can only move forward. Life is long, and what ever mess
I'm moving out of, time is on my side. What's really helped me is making a
stupidly simple plan. When situations are stressful, its hard to really make
decisions, so rely on a plan to get where you need to go. This way, you can
focus on doing small things everyday, and worry less when taking "big picture"
risks. For me, I do a few things everyday: go to an AA meeting/write or
program for my book/apply to a job or two/read hacker news/talk to friends and
family.

------
Mz
I actually am very prone to taking "the easy way out" rather than suffering
through adversity. People see me as suffering through a lot of adversity, and
there are no doubt ways in which that is true. But it is almost always the
path of least resistance that I seek, even though it frequently does not look
that way to outsiders.

Life is hard enough without intentionally making it harder.

------
tomcam
The thought of regressing to the kind of life I had as a kid: I'd go a hell of
a long way for that not to happen. Having some handicapped children, who are
wonderful but resource intensive. The fact that I am so fortunate as to live
in a world where to get ahead all I have to do is work my ass off--I live in a
stable country that still rewards grit a lot of the time. Fear.

------
sudeepj
1\. I do not remember who said this: "Remember the bad days when going is good
and remember the good days when going is bad"

2\. "This too shall pass",
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_too_shall_pass](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_too_shall_pass)
Nothing is permanent, the good days and the bad days

------
tunesmith
I think it's about letting go of the thought pattern of, "well, if this final
effort doesn't work, then it's all over."

Now, that might be true for more limited contexts, but when applied to big
things like "your life", what a damaging mentality to adopt.

In my twenties in particular, I had several periods of adversity, and there
was nothing poetic about it. Fatalism, cynicism, inspiration, motivation, none
of that had any meaning really. The _only_ thing that mattered was just sheer
dumb doggedness. Sometimes you persist even when there's absolutely no reason
to. Do it anyway, because fuck you. That's what it felt like honestly. Doesn't
make sense to continue, but fuck you.

And then it gets better, and then you have a good talk with your past self
("wow, look - it worked out even when it seemed impossible that it ever would
- remember that") so your future self has something to fall back on in future
times of adversity. Resilience.

------
vcool07
1\. 'Day dreaming'. I'm not sure what's the scientific term for this is, but
fantasizing about a better future, a better you, better circumstances etc.,
can give you a fresh outlook. Need to remember that this is just a means to an
end, and not "the end" itself !

2\. Thinking of how your "ideal self" or your "real life hero" would've
handled the situation. Would he duck for cover ? Would he have thrown and
given up ? Would he have backed out to survive the day (eventually to fight
another day) ? This kinda helps in bringing in a fresh perspective to the
situation. It no longer looks like a pain, more like a challenge/problem that
needs to be faced/solved !

------
mtzaldo
Being aware of my own happiness. A while back I realized that true happiness y
not a way, a goal, but it is something that every one has. So I realized that
I was already happy. Then I found out that I express my happiness by the
choices I made every day. That no matter how hard everything seems, from my
own happiness I can choose from different options, even those from I'm not
aware of. Then I read it from Buddhism, and I found also found out that the
meaning of life is to be happy and be useful to others... since then I try to
express my happiness by being helpful to others.

I know that it is sound like new-age-hippie stuff, but this idea has worked
for me. I hope it helps.

------
mitchty
I approach it the same way rocket engineers did:

    
    
        Well now I know another way not to do it
    

And I am a big stoic fan, the only adversity I face is that I wish to control
me. I choose to not let it control me and realize that I can overcome or learn
what I need to.

The key to things is discipline, spend a certain amount of time focusing each
day, commit to it in small batches at first and continue each day. If you go
off the rails, give yourself permission to resume the next day without beating
yourself up over it.

Beyond that there really isn't anything more to it. Basically be a stubborn
son of a bitch to yourself and commit to doing it. The only way to fail is not
to try.

~~~
jononor
Is choosing not to control oneself part of Stoicism? Would like to read about
that...

~~~
mitchty
I might be forgetting but not that I recall directly. My only issue is I also
approach all this with a bit of buddhism as well.

The general gist of both Stoicism and Buddhism are generally the same in
principle. The only things that can control us are what we allow to control
us.

That doesn't really mean that we have free will or the ability to control our
world. More we have the ability to change how we interpret the world we live
in.

And if you approach adversity as a bad thing, you're already losing from a
thought perspective. You have to look at adversity as a friend, gently nudging
you along to an easier path. Or a friend that needs to be bulldozed over or
through to get to the goal. Or perhaps avoided entirely.

Looking at adversity that way what you realize is the only control you have is
how you respond to it.

I recommend reading Epictetus, the eponymous Marcus Aurelius, any other early
stoic philosopher. Note, take some of what they say with a mountain of salt.
Their views on things like the overall universe are... a product of their
time.

For more things I'd say also read The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi.
And read up on Buddhism possibly with more modern views in the theravada
traditions. Feel free to ignore any of the things that make no sense, even the
buddha himself said to abandon any practices that turned out wrong.

I approach all of this philosophy in the style of Bruce Lee, take what works
from wherever you find it. Leave what doesn't aside.

Good luck in your journey!

------
Camelman
I left a job in the US after being tricked into joining an elaborate hoax in
the Middle East (Doha Qatar to be specific.) They purported to do ML research,
had a real office (incredible), high end equipment, even some former C-level
CROs from US firms.

Once I moved over (after giving up my previous job, school districts, etc), it
was clear the entire operation was a sham -- the $7Billion endowment was non-
existent, most workers had side-jobs (during the day!) and there was no ML
research at all to speak of.

I persevere knowing that the golden land called the United States of America
still awaits me. Just need to wait out the schoolyear.

------
Bahamut
For me, it's distilled down to what do I want my legacy to be - do I want to
say I did something, or that I got most of the way there, but then I quit?

I would rather do and fail than do, give up & be assured of failure. At least
with the former, I can be proud of my effort, and not have any shame over
quitting. You're going to fail at something - might as well face it and fail
with dignity when it happens, or succeed through the effort. The importance is
building for the long haul, and not forgetting that.

------
Keloo
\- When you have no motivation: just do some sport. \- When you fail think
about worst case scenario: for any small epsilon > 0, your fail < epsilon
compared to death.

------
taneq
I just keep reminding myself that for almost everything, the only way to fail
is to give up. If I haven't given up yet, I haven't failed.

------
lxt
Reminding myself that perseverance is the only thing that works.

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not;
nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not;
unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full
of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
\-- Calvin Coolidge

------
bootload
_" keep going even after repeated failures"_

Lessons from the Kobayashi Maru scenario. [0] It's a fictional scenario from a
TV show and used in leadership training circles to test the reaction of
candidates to ^no win^ situations.

[0]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru)

------
Havoc
Stoic teachings - when I'm facing dark times and feel I'm in dangerous
territory psychologically...instinctively fall back of stoic mindsets in those
situations. (e.g. "This too shall pass").

And yes I realise that quote isn't stoic per se - that's a simplified
illustration of my point. Going into more detail - Meditations by M Aurelius.

------
lowglow
Here's my list in no particular order:

\- Support: Find quality friends that are positive, creative, and
understanding. (Eliminate the doubters super quick, cultivate a great network)

\- Mindfulness: Remind yourself of the little triumphs and how far you've
come. Create a list in a doc as you grow, you'll be surprised. Perform a
retrospective once every couple of months.

\- Gratefulness: Remind yourself that those accomplishments probably weren't
possible without your network, give thanks to them privately and publicly. I
do this in my retrospective.

\- Silliness: Life and time are finite. You should be willing to sacrifice
what you want to accomplish what you want, because... well nothing matters in
the end. We're all little pieces of meat walking around on a rock flying
through space. The sheer probability of existence is simultaneously a miracle
and a joke.

\- Love: You reap what you sow. Be up front with what you want, who you are,
and don't compromise. From there pay into it with as much love and compassion
as you possibly can.

\- The Big Questions: What are we here for? What does it all mean? Just think
of life as a game where you work hard because maybe there is something in the
end that will make the journey all worth it. (Some people can float through
life, I'm not one of them.)

\- Outlets: Find reasonable outlets, whether it's art (my personal favorite is
oil painting and making music), or working out, or dancing. Try something new
when you can.

\- Partners: Absolutely 100% don't stop until you've found a co-founder that
you trust, respect, and offers a set of complimentary skills. Literally
exhaust every channel (no matter how stupid) you can until you find this
person. Managing your own psychology is hard, but having someone help give you
a kick in the pants with an alternative point of view is sometimes a
lifesaver.

\- Self: There are going to be a lot of 'voices' that have an opinion about
your life. They can be online or off. Remember that you're the only person
that has to live with you, and in the end you're what matters most. To have a
happy life, make yourself happy, but make sure that happiness magnifies the
positive energy inside others as well. Stay true to your vision, and let that
guide you.

\- Inspiration: I have some personal things that I find comfort in. I like
looking at inspirational posts on instagram, nice cars, inspirational videos
on youtube. These serve to help pep me up sometimes. I like to imagine having
the nice things that might be a result of my hard work, but the older I get
the less material items matter and the more relationships and compounding the
good in the world matters.

Also if anyone is in San Francisco and wants to grab a coffee, take a walk,
and chat about life, the universe, and everything -- hit me up. :)

[Forgive any spelling/grammar errors. I'm tired and about to sleep.]

------
findyoucef
I get past these kinds of things by knowing that change is always out there.
Nothing stays the same so eventually it gets better.

------
Alvarogot
I think in the first place you have to be very clear about what it is you want
to achieve in your career or your relationships, and more importantly why.

Why you want what you want and why you won´t settle for anything else.

Once you have that cristal clear you just got to know that failure is not
final nor definite, but rather an opportunity to try again.

------
jesuslop
A depurated sense of will sprung from a cultivated naivette and protected
capcity of awe, but having learnt to want only reachable things drawing aside
mere hypotetical desires. That and living as a permanent act of choice,
replete of responsibility, a song of my share of freedom, no matter the dire
options.

------
amelius
Persevering can be good, but sometimes failing can also be good. For example,
if you've been trying to push a product for a number of years and the market
doesn't take it up, then at some point you need to give up, or otherwise
you'll spend the rest of your life chasing an impossible dream.

------
proofofconcept
What else am I supposed to do, curl up and die? <\- a note on my tone: I say
this with a shrug, not a sneer. And yes, it's reductive, but that's because
that's what I personally have found that the question ultimately reduces to.

------
combatentropy
God and the Bible

------
rasur
Personally: Sheer Bloody-mindedness & a 'Well Fuck This!' attitude.

------
haburka
It's really the best part of life because with each failure, the goal becomes
more meaningful. The only way to be miserable through repeated failure is to
expect that everything you do will work out.

------
aecorredor
Man, thank god for having found hacker news. The amount of incredible and
worthwhile material that I constantly find here has been incredibly helpful to
me to grow as a person. Cheers to everyone.

------
noufalibrahim
Probably not the most popular opinion on HN but, in my case, religion.

~~~
WheelsAtLarge
I'm beginning to see that religion is a way to find answers to life's
difficulties. But in the past I found it so hard to filter the wisdom from the
noise. There's just so many charlatans that want to scare you into their view
of what religion is. I've learnt that reading with a critical eye is the best
way to learn from all the wisdom that has been past forward through books.

------
dalbasal
For me, I think Ive usually founds this to be (slightly) the wrong question.
Inspiration has been about being in a state of mind to find, recognise or just
decide it's there.

------
rebelidealist
Working on projects that is very useful for other groups of people rather than
yourself. When you think less about yourself you get paralyzed less and move
forward.

------
gabluc
For me, failure is just a railroad switch on a railway of life. It can be a
bumpy turn, but most of the time everything ends just fine.

------
sagarkamat
2 things

1) Steve Jobs' commencement speech at Stanford.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHWUCX6osgM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHWUCX6osgM)

2) Reminding myself of my blessings in life. Most of us have many things to be
thankful for, even in our worst moments

Whatever you do, do not seek sympathy from others. It can be very comforting
to vent your frustration to people and get their sympathy, but it does
absolutely nothing for situation and only enforces your despair.

~~~
Rustydave
That speech is also on my motivational list

------
galfarragem
Remembering my past wins / partial wins and building on top of them.

And don't tell me that you don't have them. Everybody has them.

------
Sir430MikeB
No one is exempt from trials & tribulations.Yet joy comes to those that
maintain. Be blessed knowing this to shall pass.

------
lhnz
You think you're talking about staying on top of your goals, but you're
actually talking about self-esteem.

Fulfilling tasks gives you a socially-understood purpose and a sense of
security within your social environment. Failing at them leaves you exposed to
other's judgment or your own.

Inspirations and motivations can allow us to dust ourselves off. At least for
a while. We re _tell_ our minds that it's not over yet, we've not yet failed
and can keep moving towards our goals. _At least I learned. I 'm just not
winning ...yet. Growth Mindset._

They are guard rails so that we can correct our behaviour and not lay around
feeling humiliated.

However, while internally we can save face, can we do so externally? One might
tell themselves they are persevering but to others they might be flailing. You
need good marketing. And if it keeps happening perhaps a behavioural compass
tuned better to your abilities.

Whatever you might achieve, realise that this is only your self trying to
maintain favourable relations with the outside world. The best protection
against that being self-respect, respect of others and consciousness of this
relation.

It just dawned on me that I probably have theory for this, because I am bad at
it in practice.

\---

I didn't respond to the question of how to keep going at whatever you're
doing, because the practical considerations outside of what I said are basic.
To be seen as 'determined' and full of 'grit' simply do one hard day's work
and then repeat it continually unabating. _And, get a good night 's sleep.
And, try to be more skilled than your competition. Etc._

Actually there are a few ways to hack motivation. The easiest is to simplify
or localise a task, but the deeper and more fundamental way is by
internalising 'I do not need a concoction of extrinsic motivations to do
things, I will just start now and not stop'. I am not sure how to teach
other's how to jump-start that belief, but I suspect you'll be able to work it
out.

The honest truth is that it's a bit like 'going through the pain barrier' in
that there is no barrier that you'll pass through and no longer feel pain.
You'll merely be exposed to the pain of 'motivatedness' enough that you'll
learn to live with it. Does that sound bad? Well ...it is. Continual pain is a
sure-sign that you're trying to do something that you're not meant to do. I
think you'll find that you'd be much happier if you avoided adversity, however
the important thing to remember is that you have a choice here.

------
Sir430MikeB
Life comes with its ups & downs..It's the decision we make that assures us of
a positive outcome.

------
thraveboy
In the end, you only have yourself. Go to an open field and realize that no
one is holding you back. :)

------
dia80
If you don't persevere you achieve nothing. That fact alone is often enough to
keep me going.

------
maxsavin
If you stop, you let the negative force win. Our default mode is to always be
doing something.

------
Rustydave
I just tell myself there is no other choice this has to be done so failure is
not an option.

------
qwrusz
Easier to write a reply on here than walk the walk, take HN comments and
advice about what others claim with a grain of salt.

First, I recommend anyone asking this take a moment to do a double-check on
your mental health. At least for depression and insanity. Looking in the
mirror like this is not as bad as a prostate exam but it does take longer...

1) Depression. If you think you might be suffering from depression or any
mental disorder or don't know enough to decide, please go seek professional
help. If you are unsure what this means or think the odds low, consider going
to see a professional and getting a diagnosis anyway at least it rules things
out.

2) Insanity. I mean this in sense attributed to Einstein of "doing something
over and over again and expecting the same result".

There is no "keep going" or getting back on "the track" after a failure. If
you have failed then it's over - it requires "starting anew". The track you
will be on is new too even if it points at the same goal as the old one.

Now, if you're talking about pushing through setbacks and obstacles but not a
real failure, there is a difference. In HN-YC-gobbledygook; are you in a
"trough of sorrow" or back on your mom's couch after bankrupting your company
and you're browsing Craigslist job ads/casual encounters posts? Big difference
between setbacks and failures.

If it's failure. I don't celebrate it. But I would be stoked about the gap of
time between a failure and starting anew. This gap of time gives one a chance
to pause and figure out what happened. Plus it's time to fix what you can
about yourself and how you operate or realize it's better to move to something
else you are better at. Call it the "trough of who the fuck cares but I ain't
making that mistake again"...

This step involves thinking about: were things your fault? Were they someone
else's fault? Was the failure just bad luck? Really? There should be no
repeated failures of the same kind. That is insanity. Don't keep doing stuff
if you haven't analyzed and fixed things that caused it. This involves
thinking about if failures could have been anticipated and avoided...

If failures are just genuinely just bad luck, not a deficiency of ability on
your part nor a failure that could have been avoided beforehand, there is
nothing to do. Good luck happens and bad luck happens. But you know this. Be
mentally prepared beforehand for whichever way the dice fall. I know of no
gambler who walks into a casino with $100, knowing his odds and walks out
depressed when he loses the $100. I know many people who walk into a casino
not knowing their odds, having looked up the rules of craps 5 minutes
beforehand on their phone and fully expecting to win - then being shocked and
upset when they lose $500.

No one else's inspirations can inspire you. Figure out a goal you want and
what achieving it involves.

If you can't figure a goal that inspires you, then that is your goal. Finding
a goal is your goal. Frankly that is fucking super exciting too; getting to
treasure hunt and discover something that is new and inspiring, something you
will really want and want to work towards sounds very exciting. Best of luck.

------
mark_l_watson
I recommend reading Nassim Taleb's book "AntiFragile"

------
swampthing
The knowledge that my ancestors have been through a lot worse.

------
sjg007
Take it one day at a time and surround yourself with experts.

------
tomkha
I don't want to be average. I want to change the world.

------
danieltillett
Predestination.

------
du_bing
support from family members, I find this to be greatest inspiration for me to
get through any adversity.

------
deadghost
If you stop, you're gonna die. If you won't die if you stop, then maybe it's
not really all that big of a deal.

------
oldmancoyote
Fear

------
bluebeard
Music.

------
logicallee
Guys, nobody in this thread has given the advice to give up! If you were a
scientist who travelled back in time in an accident from 2117 when humanity
created a black hole, and you have a solid physics degree and don't really
have anything to do except 1) become rich and influential and 2), make sure
that a certain very specific experiment isn't repeated, or, for example,
personally finance that it first be tried on Alpha Centauri (4 light years
away), so everyone can see that Alpha Centauri disappears in a black hole
(about which your probe sends back data), so they won't try it on Earth, then
you will be in the following position: You will know about lots of inventions
from the next one hundred years. You don't really have anything to do, you
don't care about preserving any timeline or anything like that.

Obviously you're not exactly an engineer, so you can't make any inventions
from the next hundred years in your garage - you just know generally how they
work.

A sane course of action under these constraints would be to get identity
papers somehow (after all, you're stateless), get a patent on a future
invention that you understand well-enough to describe clearly, then get
financing for it and build it.

You're an educated and very high-IQ person with degrees, so after minor set-
backs around getting jobs and papers, you get set up, very clearly and
eloquently describe your invention (in a patent filing), wait for it to be
granted, and now you are free to get money from anyone. You send the patent
papers to 150 vc's without a response, which you consider odd. You send them
to a further 500 people in a position to help but still get no response.

You go to your alma mater, of course you don't recognize any faculty, it's
from before your time, and they ask you if you have a prototype - you say no,
you're not an engineer. They ask you how you know it would work. You hem and
haw and say,it's all written down very clearly. They suggest you build a
prototype. This is actually beyond your skills - you're a theoretical
physicist not an engineer.

This is very frustrating for you.

This is when you post "what inspires you to persevere through adversity."

But the answer is that you should realize that the 2017 idea-stage funding
climate is not sufficient to fund you. It doesn't matter if your idea patent
can be the basis for a $20 billion company, which is enough to finance your
Alpha Centauri demonstration.

You're stuck. You know very well what will happen if you don't intervene
(though actually, you're not certain - the physics here isn't clear, whether
the same timeline is likely to repeat.)

At any rate you GIVE UP trying to fund your patent. Instead you decide that
you will finance it yourself by doing something completely different. You do
remember that around 2025 or 2026 there is a huge bubble followed by an
unfathomable crash, and you had actually just read - before your travel - the
biography of a founder in that era who quickly built dynastic wealth. Since
you are very smart and just need funding for your prototype, and anyway you
have sixty years to get rich, there's no hurry, you decide to find him and be
one of the first ten founders. You tell him some simple inventions from the
future in just a few words, and to your great surprise he is completely on
board and instantly agrees that they are all viable, he straight-up gives you
50% equity in his company, you start pulling 120 hour weeks and seven and a
half years later you have exited with $20 billion and start doing your space
stuff. (You muse that this was all thanks to working on whatever HE wanted,
even though it had nothing to do with anything you knew about - you started
with ZERO knowledge of 2017 web tech. All that knowledge of one hundred years
of technical development paled in comparison to a name you recalled offhand -
thereby proving the old adage, it's not WHAT you know, it's WHO you know.)

Anyway, a few years later your space research shocks the world - oh, also you
read something about telomeres - you can't BELIEVE you forgot about that,
you've always hated and hardly paid any attention to biology but you
remembered you actually know enough to slow aging by 90% especially in the
skin, and back in your time all babies were given telomere extension shots,
which has been going on since shortly before your birth in 2090. Since you're
a billionaire with a lot of time on your hands you read up on it, order a
small animal and then human experiment, and long story short you give about 8
billion people longer, happier lives by inventing something in 2030 that was
slated for 2085, even though you didn't even care.

Oh, and as for your original first patented invention, on a lark you wonder if
anyone would finance it now that you have $20 billion, you have the spiffy
prototype built, hold a big VC meeting on a private island where anyone who's
anyone shows up with three partners - and still nobody has any interest
whatsoever. As great at it is, whatever it is, it turns out it's not fundable.
The world's just not ready for it.

Moral of the story: sometimes you should just give up, and the sooner you give
up, the sooner you can start making some kind of progress.

~~~
VLM
The moral of the story seems to be to stick in your core competencies and de-
serendipitous discovery for a couple decades.

If you're a theoretical physicist in 2117 you have a pretty good idea of what
was figured out in 2020 and you can front that and collect your Nobel prize in
physics and most importantly its funding.

Meanwhile most of the modern world is built out of creative concepts. Huh we
can create seemingly arbitrary organic chemicals what happens when ones with
free double bonds get triggered into single bonding with neighbors, nobody
never thought of anything that crazy and its a bazillion dollar industry now.
Uranium, well, it turns glass artistically yellow otherwise pretty boring.
Silicon, well, it makes a nice metallurgical addition to steel and aluminum
and is "easily" purified to ridiculous levels but otherwise not terribly
noteworthy. And then there's things that don't amount to anything, multiverse,
strings, skip all that stuff to gain progress. Electric cars were not a
"thing" for their first century, but their second is looking pretty
interesting.

------
twfarland
pure spite

------
kahrkunne
Personally I look towards people I admire; especially times they screwed up.
For example, right now Donald Trump is somebody that's very inspiring to me,
because I consider him a great and admirable man, who has also made many
mistakes over time. I admire his ability to pick himself back up and keep
going.

You will probably have other people you admire; look for times they made
mistakes. What's important is realizing everybody makes mistakes all the time.
In the end, what makes a great person is their ability to pick themselves up
and keep going. Never stagnate.

------
trump2016
The God Emperor himself. Can you think of any other modern day hero who went
through more than he did to get elected?

------
zimboul
Struggling and failing is how you eventually become strong and capable of
succeeding at higher and higher levels.

------
ionised
Alcohol.

