

Startups say the darndest things - niklas_a
http://agevik.se/post/12932930667/startups-say-the-darndest-things-a-translation-cheat

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localhost3000
This seems to be the new trend on HN job posts: "we're xyz ycomb company.
we're solving extremely difficult technical problems! [end]" ...yes, routing
all those lunch orders must be a real pain...

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anrope
Yeah this is driving me nuts. It feels like a lot of companies are throwing
around the same catchphrases, when instead they should be describing what they
actually do or need done.

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felipemnoa
One catch phrase that seems to be on decline is rock star.

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keiferski
"Pre-revenue" seems like such a ridiculous term. It should only be used post-
revenue to describe the period of time...pre-revenue.

Unless, of course, that every startup founder is a pre-billionaire. ;P

~~~
pagekalisedown
That's just standard corporate-speak. Take anything negative and give it a
positive spin. We don't lose money, we're pre-profitable. ;)

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d_r
While not mentioned in the article, one annoying phrase that has emerged
recently is "X for Y". "An AirBnB for music." "A Yelp for wedding dresses."

To me this speaks: "We aren't able to clearly explain what we do, but here's
this other well-known company that solves a similar problem in a different
market. We'll piggy-back from the recognition of their name. Look at us, look
at them, and try to make a connection."

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tycho77
Cheap shot. You can't win with this one. You know what would happen if they
described the product in a vacuum? The top comment on the HN thread would be
"Basically, it's like an X for Y."

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run4yourlives
If somebody correctly makes a connection from your explanation to something
they are familiar with, you have done your job.

If you need to make a connection with something you hope someone is familiar
with _in order to_ explain your product, you don't understand your product
well enough.

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eogas
Do you think it's important to differentiate your product in such a way that
it can't be described as X for Y? I suppose there are arguments for either
case.

If you can be described as X for Y, then you can make the argument that "it
worked for the Z industry".

However if you can't be easily summed up as X for Y, you can claim that this
is something completely new that's never been done before. And people like
that...I think? I don't know, I'm rather new to this. What do you think?

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run4yourlives
I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you are trying to ask. Can you re-
phrase your question a little?

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eogas
The question I'm really trying to get at is whether it's good or bad to be an
X for Y company, or at least for people to think of you that way.

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ernestipark
[http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6507690/hardly-working-
sta...](http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6507690/hardly-working-start-up-
guys)

~~~
eogas
I love this sketch. I'll never get over Devil's Deuce Interactive. On a
related note, I just found this:

<http://www.angeldump.com/>

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beagledude
this is sadly extremely accurate the disruptive part especially

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mcmc
There is so much noise out there that mediocre companies manage to position
themselves as the best of the best, or at least manage to make the best
companies look foolish at this point.

The problem is that it's a lot easier to imitate the talking points of
successful startup than it is to actually imitate the success.

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Geekette
Funneh. Particularly enjoyed “We’ve got great backing" as = "We managed to
convince VCs to give us money but we haven’t convinced any actual customers to
do so".

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dj_axl
"We've got early traction" = Our investors has made sure their other portfolio
companies use our product.

Would you rather work for a company where the investors can't even convince
their portfolio companies to use the product? Sure I get the humor. Maybe a
solution would be to actually name one of the (hopefully big/famous) companies
that use the product, instead of being vague. "Some great places have employed
our solution! But we can't reveal any of their names!" Um. Yeah.

~~~
run4yourlives
I think the point is that the hardest, yet most important sell is a paying
customer.

There are a number of ways to convince an investor to use a freebee. They
aren't losing anything they haven't already lost when they gave you money.

A customer will not (well, most at least) pay for a product that offers
nothing in return.

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rokhayakebe
The "You will get a chance to shape the product" translation is way too funny.
Definitely gives a different perspective.

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mozartbu
ROFL "You will NEED to shape the product since we don't know what we are
doing."

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Stratego
See Mule's <http://unsuck-it.com/> for more.

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jsavimbi
They'd be better off prefacing each statement with "We wish ..." as it would
sound a lot more sincere.

To be honest, the descriptions that stand out most to me are "we have X
problem within Y context and we need a solution that will solve Z for us. Can
you focus on it exclusively for six months?" Those usually turn out to be the
most interesting problems to work on and will probably not attract people who
are just interested because of the company is in a particular industry segment
or focusing on a certain technology.

Work hard, play hard? You're probably doing neither and your holiday parties
suck.

edited: "not attract"

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glimcat
A job post needs to tell me what problem you're trying to solve by hiring and
why I should care about your problem. The overwhelming majority of job posts
completely fail to outline a clear value proposition.

~~~
caw
I agree with this. I already had a few of these buzzwords on my list for job
postings to avoid.

"Work hard play hard" - Yep, the author's right

"Significant Equity" - I guess I've read too much HN to know that that's
nothing

"Pre-revenue" - Entirely too much risk to leave your current job to go to;
maybe if you were between jobs.

The last thing I avoid is the list of perks that make it seem like your life
is work. Sure, perks are nice, but not so I can all my time there. I got a
tour of Palantir, and I'm like "This is really sweet." Then I got to their nap
time room, where you can sleep for a bit when you're pulling an all nighter. I
drew the line there because the way it was positioned was too strongly
implying you must spend all your waking hours at work, and then some.

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CPlatypus
"All-star technical team" = "Each developer will tell you the others are
stars. Perspectives from outside the circle might differ."

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billpatrianakos
Definitely funny, entertaining, and there's a case to be made that its true a
lot of times.

I don't know how to feel about it though. On the one hand I'm hoping it was a
joke and nothing more as there are some good apples out there but then I also
remember that there are a bazillion little startups that are just either
clueless, incompetent, or decent but overhyped and overfunded.

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gridspy
Don't forget decent but obscure.

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lell
Since when are such cynical attempts at humour posted on hn? Best not to read
something like this if you want to stay motivated enough to do the work
required to get "post-revenue" whatever that means.

