

You don't (want to) know yourself - barry-cotter
http://www.marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2009/06/you-dont-know-yourself.html

======
seldo
My favourite example of this is the Dunning-Kruger effect, in which people who
are incompetent at tasks do not realize they are incompetent -- because they
don't know what competence looks like. So they assume they're doing "okay", or
even above-average, even when objective tests show otherwise:

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning-Kruger_effect>

I read at the time that the reverse is also true -- the very competent tend to
assume similar levels of competence in everyone, so they are unaware how good
they are. However, this wikipedia page makes no mention of that part.

~~~
billswift
I've seen more about that. It turns out that the third quartile (50-75%) is
the most accurate in self-evaluations.

Interested readers might try browsing lesswrong.com and overcomingbias.com;
especially older OB posts.

------
timf
Building nonsuperficial relationships with people is a great way to get
uncomfortable opinions/data about your actions.

I have often been criticized/enlightened by my wife (usually in a nice way
;-)) and ended up eventually agreeing. This happens less often with my good
friends but it still happens.

I think there are always going to be illusions in the way of this "help" in
every nonsuperficial relationship (whether perceived by zero, one, or both
parties). But that does not mean it is a fundamentally untrustworthy source of
feedback to me.

Regarding "cognitive dissonance", I wonder if there is a way to recognize and
welcome it more (not sure how delusional this is, but I have experienced deep
contradictions and they do seem to "feel" a certain way).

~~~
TomOfTTB
In fairness people you have "nonsuperficial relationships" with will just as
often not tell you things to spare your feelings and, as my grandpa used to
say, "a thermometer that's only right half the time is no better than one
that's never right at all"

~~~
timf
That is one of the things I meant by "I think there are always going to be
illusions in the way of this "help""

~~~
TomOfTTB
I thought you probably did but I figured I'd make the point a little more
bluntly because it set up my real response which was that advice with
illusions isn't all that usefull when trying to see yourself accurately.

------
wallflower
Some of the most valuable feedback we can get is of the 'unfiltered' variety.
Unfortunately, according to this article, when we watch videos of ourselves,
we have a filter. The camera, it seems, is only an objective witness when we
have someone who is objective (a neutral 3rd party) to critique the video
with. In the Toastmasters club I was a member of, we allowed members to
videotape their own speeches. Coupled with the detailed written evaluation
from a single assigned evaluator and the anonymous mini evaluations from other
members of the audience, I think it was an effective foil for our own self-
biased critique.

------
grandalf
Most people also spend very little time watching themself on video -- I
imagine this is a learned skill like any other -- learning to know yourself as
a 3d object viewed from a perspective other than a mirror!

