
How to Accept and Decline Job Offers - barrettabrooks
http://livingformonday.com/business-and-careers/accept-decline-job-offers/
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7Figures2Commas
There is some really bad advice in here.

When declining an offer, there is almost _never_ anything to be gained from
explaining your rationale. Be gracious (i.e. thank the person who delivered
the offer to you), indicate that you have decided to pursue another
opportunity and move on.

If you feel the need to explain your decision, it can and likely will be
misconstrued. "I have decided to accept a competing offer that I feel best
fits my current professional and personal goals" may be read as "I don't
believe your organization can support my professional and personal goals." If
you write "I do not believe that I am a good cultural fit for the
organization", somebody is likely to interpret that as "Your culture sucks."

Additionally, it rarely makes sense to notify everybody involved in the
interviewing process of your decision not to accept an offer. After your
initial interviews, assuming you are still considering the opportunity, you
should send a thank you note to the people you met with, as appropriate.
Unless you had a relationship with one of these individuals before your
interviews, further communication regarding your decision to decline an offer
is probably not going to be to your benefit, particularly if you have the
hubris to invite the other party "to let you know if you can ever do anything
to help them reach their goals." _Really?_

Finally, consider that your dealings with others in the context of a job
search will probably be more enjoyable and well-received if you don't pretend
that you have a "personal brand" instead of a _reputation_.

~~~
barrettabrooks
Thanks for your feedback. I would perhaps agree that if handled incorrectly,
the notes or calls to various people might not be taken well. On the other
hand, they also represent a valuable opportunity to continue building
relationships.

As for explaining your reasoning, that is perhaps the case. I would then be
curious to know what you would recommend when the recruiter offers the
inevitable question of: "Why did you decide to take another offer?" Planning
an answer and being proactive about the reasoning in a judicious way can avoid
even bigger snafus in response to an unexpected question.

I would be curious to know how you typically offer to help others. I have
found in my personal experience, as well as that of others, that asking how I
can help is one of the single greatest ways to build trust and respect in a
relationship. Now, perhaps "reach your goals" takes it a step too far. If so,
simply remove it from the phrasing.

As for the brand. Call it what you will. You have a reputation, or brand, in
the eyes of other people. Maintaining a consistent reputation is the point,
rather than the exact phrasing of the words.

Again, thanks for offering constructive criticism. I enjoy a healthy debate
about career search tactics, and I am always open to continuing the
conversation.

~~~
7Figures2Commas
In-house recruiters or hiring managers, except perhaps the most inexperienced
or unprofessional, will not press a candidate to explain a decision to decline
an offer. If the company really wanted you and is disappointed about your
decision, you _might_ be asked if there was anything that could have been
handled better during the recruitment process or that would have swayed you,
but it is highly unlikely that you'll be asked to provide a detailed rationale
for your decision. In the odd case that you are pressured for one, you are
under no obligation to bow to that pressure.

As for relationship-building and helping others:

1\. You cannot build a relationship with every person you meet. This is not a
realistic goal. 2\. You cannot help every single person you meet. This is not
a realistic goal. 3\. People are good at discerning whether an offer to help
is empty or legitimate. If you were seeking employment a week ago and haven't
even started your new job, you have no business suggesting to the people who
interviewed you at a rejected prospective employer that you are now in a
position to assist them professionally. Offering such help concurrent with a
notification that you have accepted employment elsewhere is, again, an act of
extreme hubris and is likely to be seen as such.

~~~
Peroni
_In-house recruiters or hiring managers, except perhaps the most inexperienced
or unprofessional, will not press a candidate to explain a decision to decline
an offer._

I couldn't possibly disagree more. If I have invested time into a potential
employee and they decide at the end of the process that they don't want to
accept our offer then I wouldn't think twice about (respectfully) asking for
their rationale. Primarily because I want to ensure that there was no
misunderstanding of the role or package but also so I can learn from it and
ensure the next person I offer doesn't reject for the same reasons.

I certainly wouldn't pressure someone into providing an explanation but I
would consider it basic professional courtesy to be told why we were
unsuccessful in acquiring that candidate.

~~~
willvarfar
Do you tell those candidates you decline why you declined them?

~~~
Peroni
Categorically. If the applicant has taken the effort to come and interview
with us and we decide not to proceed then as a rule I will always give full
and frank feedback as to why we came to our decision. Sometimes the feedback
is hard to swallow but occasionally I'll get an applicant who challenges our
decision and we will genuinely reconsider if they present a valid argument.

~~~
willvarfar
This could be a US thing but you should avoid giving a _why_ you reject a
candidate because you are opening yourself up to litigation.

All companies big enough to have a policy on this have a "I'm afraid we don't
have a position to offer you at this time" -kind of stock reply for this
reason.

If there's any follow-up at all its purpose will be to leave the candidate
with a good impression, not to give the candidate any actual information.

I've even known companies to say "I'm sorry, we don't discuss specific cases"
and post a t-shirt to candidates who ask _why_.

~~~
Peroni
Well we're UK based and the fear of litigation is certainly a lot smaller.
Obviously there is always a concern that a candidate will have a significantly
negative reaction to a rejection but I spend a lot of time with all candidates
who go through our interview process and build up a lot of rapport with them
so I like to hope that they don't take the feedback personally.

~~~
polymatter
I expect you'll agree that most UK companies don't do this though. Even for
small companies, most won't give any feedback.

~~~
Peroni
Unfortunately this tends to be the case more often than not. I don't think
it's out of fear of litigation, I think it's simply laziness and pointless HR
process.

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miketomo
Wow... It's reading articles like this that makes me very pleased that I
decided to decline an offer to move to the USA a couple of years back.

"Personal brand"? Thank you letters to recruiters? "Thank you for your
guidance and support"...

I can't be the only British person to read this article and feel a little bit
sickened by the cloying falseness of the language used here, it's one of the
main reasons why I no longer consider job offers from big US companies - I
like to work with people who tell me what they think, not what they think I
want to hear.

Apologies for this sounding like an anti-American rant, I don't mean it in
that way, but there is something very wrong with the false-friendly,
euphemistic speech used by a lot of people and organisations over that side of
the pond. I think a lot of it is really just "please-don't-sue-me" speech.

~~~
ratherbefuddled
I absolutely agree. What I find extremely distasteful about what the article
recommends is the total fakeness of everything. Were I on the receiving end of
that sort of communication it would leap out as less than genuine and I'd be
insulted.

Straightforward honesty and integrity will get you much further than a
personal brand.

~~~
barrettabrooks
I don't think a personal brand and integrity are mutually exclusive ideas. In
fact, I think the people who have great "reputations" or good "names" in their
respective communities base that on their honesty and integrity.

I'd be curious to know how you would alter the wording of one of the templates
to be more honest and integrity-based.

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georgefox
I hate to comment only on details and not on the actual content itself, but
the aggressive use of bold text led me to read only the bold text. I didn't
even bother to give the full text a chance. I saw typography that seemed
geared toward the skimmer, so I skimmed. I'm not sure if that's the desired
result, but that's the result it had on me.

~~~
lotsofcows
I managed the second paragraph. The constant switching of font really
irritates me for some reason. It's _like_ trying to read _the_ bible.

~~~
barrettabrooks
Really glad you called this out. Thank you.

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logicallee
If VC's don't give founders a "no" (in case the situation changes, the startup
takes off) then why would you as an employee?

Say you have 30 offers on the table. What's to be had by saying "no" to 29 of
them instead of just "yes" to 1 and not replying to the rest?

If that 1 drops out you now have 29 pending job offers.

If you "declined" the rest, you now have what pending?

~~~
barrettabrooks
Well, I suppose if you were lucky enough to have 30 offers then you might be
in a slightly different situation and I would love to tell your story on the
blog. In my experience, especially in the recent economy, candidates are lucky
to have one offer. Those that receive multiple are in great shape, and I have
yet to hear of anyone that has trouble with too many offers to respond to.

Again, if that's you or you know someone, I want to interview you to find out
how you did it.

------
habosa
This all looks like great advice, I'd just add that a phone call should be
encouraged whenever you feel you have a suitable relationship with the
recruiter to call him/her directly. Especially if you're rejecting a company
that you could see yourself working for/with at a later date. A phone call is
much more personal, and has the added benefit of being more "final". While an
email-reply chain can drag on for days or weeks, a phone call can normally
settle most issues in one shot. Some people find a phone call more unnerving
but I actually prefer it to agonizing over email wording, sending a long
email, and waiting for the asynchronous reply that may never come.

Note that I have very little experience in the job market, this is more just a
social recommendation and reflects some feedback I got from recruiters and
friends who have been in this situation.

~~~
barrettabrooks
Completely agreed here. Perhaps I should have been more specific in the
article in saying that a phone call is almost certainly the better option. As
you mentioned, most people are uncomfortable with the phone call, regardless
of the situation, which is why I built in an email option. I will keep this in
mind, especially as I teach this material within college settings.

------
willvarfar
Please, everyone, only decline other offers _after_ an offer you have accepted
has actually gone all the way through!

------
abrichr
I think you should also try to cover how to respond when the reason for
declining an offer is low compensation.

Also, there seems to be some character encoding issues in the text.

~~~
barrettabrooks
Great suggestion. I have an entire section on responding to a low offer and
negotiating the offer, with specific scripts in the upcoming book. I'll make
note that it would be good to write about negotiations on the public blog as
well, as I realize the book may not be the right match for people who aren't
looking for jobs.

Can't find encoding issues on my end. Any specifics on that?

~~~
dgempesaw
Here's a couple examples - latest chrome, win7.

<http://d.pr/i/ONmu>

<http://d.pr/i/ucl0>

<http://d.pr/i/pwXI>

~~~
habosa
I am seeing the same behavior.

------
brianberns
"You should decline the offer as soon as you have accepted another offer or
made a definitive decision not to accept."

"In rare cases, your final decision (either verbal or written) may trigger a
decision to negotiate with you. In case you are given the opportunity to
obtain what you want from the offer, you should be prepared to conduct the
negotiation."

I understand that this is rare, but I wonder if you've really thought the
scenario through. You've already accepted job offer A, but now you're
negotiating job offer B? How would you explain your behavior to the first
company if you end up taking the second offer?

~~~
barrettabrooks
Agreed. That would be a bad call. In this case, if there are two offers on the
table and you are confident in your choice, then there would be no further
room for negotiations.

If you have two comparable offers and you want to test the negotiating waters,
it would be best to approach that company first (before accepting an offer).

In some cases, however, you may have decided to turn down an offer as it
stands, despite a lack of competing offers. In this case, if the employer
opens up negotiations, it would be a good time to have the conversation.

~~~
brianberns
Yes, but the point I'm getting to is that sometimes you have to actually turn
down one offer before accepting a competing offer.

~~~
barrettabrooks
The logic being that the acceptance should come last to account for any
potential alternative outcomes?

~~~
brianberns
Not exactly - I think you have to respond to the offers in descending order of
your interest. If you really want Offer A, but they refuse to negotiate on a
sticking point, you tell them that first in hopes that they will loosen up. If
they still won't budge, you turn them down, then go on to accept Offer B
instead. If there's a third Offer, C, that's not as attractive as B, you
notify them after you've accepted B, as you originally suggested.

------
lvs
This whole article made me feel sad on the insides, even down to the domain
name in the URL.

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shanelja
It's funny because if the company didn't want you they they would simply not
reply, yet you are expected to show a much greater level of care when dealing
with them.

~~~
barrettabrooks
This is a huge challenge, especially when we know it's the case. Most
companies simply don't respond. It's personal preference, but I always err on
the side of turning the other cheek and doing what I can to build new
relationships.

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nraynaud
I love the business novlang in the templates.

~~~
barrettabrooks
Tell me specifically what you're referring to. Would love the feedback.

~~~
nraynaud
I can pinpoint it, but I'm not sure this is to be eliminated, maybe this is
for that kind of people in that kind of company and candidates have to blend
to the culture.

"excited" and variants appears 6 times in the article (inclusive for the
answer to proposal you're about to reject), "guidance", "I feel best fits my
current professional and personal goals" well, simply "that I prefer" would
work too. I think we can't have blogs about GTD and shorts emails and at the
same time padded sentences in the templates of the career advice sites, this
creates a cognitive dissonance.

But again, I'm jobless, and hated the business-speak and "professional" things
when I had a job, so I don't think _I_ should be giving career advice, I was
pointing just this funny stuff out in a very un-professional and non
constructive way.

~~~
barrettabrooks
Great point here. I do agree that having clearly conflicting information
flowing is a bad thing. I may go back to the drawing board and see if we can
draw up alternative templates with different language so we're providing for
people in different cultures.

Thanks for that feedback. I do sincerely appreciate it.

