
The Saddest Map In America - dkuebric
http://dish.andrewsullivan.com/2013/02/21/the-saddest-map-in-america/
======
zalzane
I never understood the concept of missed connections on craigslist. Honestly,
what's the chance of two people meeting each other, forgetting to swap
numbers, and then both going onto craigslist to search/post in the missed
connections category?

It just seems like such an overwhelming statistical improbability that such a
missed connection would ever be fulfilled through craigslist, I don't see why
anyone would even bother posting.

~~~
barkingcat
I posted a missed connection once, and about 2 hours later got a reply from a
person who was in the exact same circumstances (ie same time, same place, same
details about furtive glances) - but she was looking at some other dude who
was there and thought I was him. At the same time, I actually wasn't looking
at her, but at another girl who was at the same event.

So it fizzled cause we weren't looking for, but looking "past" each other.

Moments of extreme awkwardness after flirting madly mutually verifying
locational/timing/happenstance details followed by absolutely wrong physical
descriptions of each other. Yah that conversation dried up fast.

I suppose it could have been a romantic start to some kinda relationship, but
that ship sunk before it even had a chance.

~~~
autarch
You absolutely should have gone on a date. Think of it this way, if by some
chance it worked out you'd probably have the best "how we met" story of your
entire social circle.

~~~
charlieok
I feel that having a good “how we met” story is a big boost for a potential
relationship. At least early on, when you have nothing else to go on. It says,
“the odds of this meeting were low; this isn't a thing that happens every day,
therefore it's more valuable”.

------
newishuser
Why is this sad? Because Walmart is the most cited location?

Seems great to me. People are reaching out. Would be more depressing if they
just decided to not do anything about it.

Plus this only has relevance to craigslist users. Seems like a fun
conversation piece but certainly isn't the anything-est anything in America.

~~~
sliverstorm
_It is, in some ways, a sign of where we are now most likely to see people we
don’t know in various parts of the country._

One could say the places listed are sad. "What ever happened to <insert social
setting>?". You could take it as evidence that we are becoming less social,
and withdrawing into our own shells.

 _It’s also a sign of male loneliness or romance: men seeking to find a
possible love-mate outnumber women 86 – 14._

How is this not sad?

~~~
Avshalom
>>It’s also a sign of male loneliness or romance: men seeking to find a
possible love-mate outnumber women 86 – 14.

>How is this not sad?

That's probably more a side effect of socialization that teaches men to take
the active role.

~~~
eplanit
Or, the result of Feminism, which teaches women to take the active role.

~~~
javert
Feminism doesn't teach women to take the active role. It teaches them to hate
men.

To be clear, I think women should be treated equally under the law. I'm a big
supporter of natural rights. Feminists are not big supporters of natural
rights. They are generally leftists, and the truly intellectually dedicated
members are generally far leftists.

~~~
davidtanner
Feminists are generally leftist and the more intellectual the more
progressive/far left, generally speaking.

However I know some women that are intellectually dedicated feminists and they
don't hate men. They love men. They hate the patriarchy.

~~~
javert
There is no patriarchy. This is a good example of the reality distortion that
happens in feminism.

Yes, women may have a slightly harder time rising in a company. Just like who
is less attractive, or less good at socializing, or isn't a fan of the same
sports team as others in the company.

------
robotmlg
Indiana's most cited location for a missed connection is "at home." How does
that make sense?

~~~
da02
I'm hoping they are frugal and have parties with non-family members at their
homes. Maybe a barbecue where neighbours invite their friends... and they
invite friends of friends...

~~~
LukeShu
As someone who lives in Indiana, this is probably it. Big gatherings usually
end up with a few people that the host doesn't know (of course, that's true
most places).

------
ebbv
There's a serious selection bias in this study; it also requires that the
person thinks the object of their fascination is likely to check Craigslist.
So,... yeah.

------
charlieok
I'll take a crack at explaining the Colorado label.

People here leave the Denver/Boulder area and head west into the mountains
every weekend. The Sunday afternoon drive back is a miserable jam.

Some of those mountain destinations are a pretty far drive, so if you're one
of those who came here for the skiing, climbing and mountain biking (and
judging by dating sites, most people here are) then you're making some stops
for fuel and caffeine in some mountain town, wearing your ski outfit or bike
shorts.

If that's the explanation, I don't know why the label wouldn't be “trail”
though.

~~~
dandelany
>> If that's the explanation, I don't know why the label wouldn't be “trail”
though.

Probably because there are many ways to say it eg. "ski trail", "ski
mountain", "ski run", "on the slopes", "chairlift" etc. whereas a gas station
is just a gas station. Also, it's pretty hard to have a "missed connection" on
a ski trail, seeing as how both parties tend to be in motion and ski goggles
obscure eye contact :)

~~~
charlieok
Fair enough. I was thinking of all the times I've passed attractive people on
hiking trails. People going downhill yield to people going uphill. Sometimes
you stop and chat, ask about directions, the weather. I could easily see
people wishing they'd gotten a number on occasions like that.

------
dangrossman
Pennsylvania's "convenience store" label should just say Wawa. That's half the
missed connections posts in Philadelphia.

~~~
jdminhbg
That would exclude the Sheetz half of the state. Presumably the map combined
Wawa, Sheetz, and the odd central PA Unimart into one.

------
tibbon
I was just shocked that Nevada wasn't "Playa". Seriously, the missed
connections post-Burning Man are amazing.

"You were wearing a flamethrower with bright pink hair and green blinking
boots while you were riding on top of the bus made to look like a disco
elephant..."

------
drharris
Proud to live in South Carolina.

~~~
steauengeglase
Mama said I could find a nice girl at church, so I tried a bigger stretch of
holy ground.

------
juan_juarez
What I don't get is the states where it's at a bar. I can understand how it's
weird to talk to people in some of those other places but a bar is an
explicitly social environment. If people didn't want to talk to others, they'd
be drinking at home for far less money. As cliche as it is, "hey, can I buy
you a drink" still works as an ice breaker.

~~~
AJ007
Bars per capita --
[http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7wbbZeG9jwI/S1uUPYQCImI/AAAAAAAAAF...](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7wbbZeG9jwI/S1uUPYQCImI/AAAAAAAAAF0/WXEuSyB6VbM/s1600/us_bars_groceries_100122.jpg)

------
dbpatterson
Seems like a pretty small sample size - only 100 per state? I'm not familiar
with how Craigslist works for this, but is there any reason why you couldn't
select thousands and get better results (look for common words, rank them,
etc). Seems like the variation would be pretty high...

------
the_watcher
How is "the car" Georgia's most common missed connection? Hitchhikers? I can't
think of anything else.

~~~
russell
Stopped traffic. A couple of decades ago, the only road from Silicon Valley to
Skyline in the hills was blocked by construction equipment repairing a
washout. My wife got out and walked up the line to see what was going on. She
started talking to a man standing there. Turns out he was a freelance
developer and my wife said, "My son knows how to program.", which lead to his
firs job as a programmer in high school. In this case a connection made in
stopped traffic.

~~~
Gmo
Ha, I was hoping that the freelance developer was you :)

~~~
russell
No. The freelancer was Jim Normile in between stints at Apple.

------
tricolon
Here is a higher resolution image:
[http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/slideshow/2013/02/11869...](http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/slideshow/2013/02/118690-116662.png)

------
kamloops
"You prefer 91 octane for your car as well? Nice"

~~~
xymostech
Yeeaaah Colorado. I'm actually kinda confused about that. It's not like have
have that many more gas stations than other people or anything, right?

------
Vivtek
Dammit, Indiana, there you go making me cringe in the news again. At home?
What does that even _mean_?

~~~
Klinky
Couple examples I could think of:

"I saw your at home. You were walking down the street talking to your friend
in the pink shirt on Sunday by the intersection of Oak & Grove."

"Me: In my garden working on my herbs. You: In the red SUV listening to Lady
Gaga with the windows down. We made eye contact."

"Saw you, cute redhead, at your home. Peeping in your window."

------
runamok
Why do they say "California is an actual self-parody"?

I'd much prefer to meet someone at 24 Hour Fitness than Wal*mart...

------
dsschnau
That is a depressing depressing map.

------
mediacrisis
Rhode Island always keeps it classy. Though I'm honestly surprised it wasn't
Dunkin Donuts.

------
suyash
This is Reddit Material, sad to see it Making Page 1 on HN :(

~~~
drucken
Borderline. It is derived from data, the data is suggestive, and given the
number of comments from HN regulars, interesting enough.

It could even lead to some "hacking"!

Anyway, its a Friday in most of the world by now... :)

------
ComputerGuru
Chicago's keeping it classy with "TRAIN".

~~~
jff
For Chicago, I'd expect "at the crime scene" to be more common.

~~~
ComputerGuru
Chicago is behind the following in terms of murder/manslaughter per capita:

New Orleans, Detroit, Newark, Baltimore, Oakland, Kansas City, Philadelphia,
Atlanta, Cincinnati, Stockton, Cleveland, Memphis, DC, and Miami (in that
order, from most deaths/capita to least) [0].

You were saying?

[0]:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_cities_by_crime_...](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_cities_by_crime_rate)

~~~
jff
I was saying Chicago's a hellhole, just like all those other hellholes you
listed--it's just that the GP mentioned Chicago particularly.

~~~
clobber
Staying safe in that suburb somewhere?

------
Evenjos
Next, we should see a map with the worst traffic. Who funds these studies? Are
they really necessary? Especially with the bias towards craigslist users?

~~~
michaelhoffman
The study was done by Dorothy Gambrell, who I know better as the author of the
Cat and Girl webcomic, and published in _Psychology Today_ , a popular
magazine. I doubt there was any funding other than whatever _Psychology Today_
paid her for the piece.

------
liquidise
This is only sad for 3 reasons:

1) Somebody spent the time, effort and likely funding to do an aggregate study
of a craigslist Missed Encounters board.

2) This foolishly unrepresentative sample of the american populace is being
referred to as a "scholarly study".

3) The author of this article is using this to make broad generalizations
about the american social atmosphere based on the aforementioned
unrepresentative sample.

I suppose i should sit back and watch this silliness get plastered around
facebook ad nauseum as people who don't know anyone who knew craigslist has a
"missed encounters" page talk about the facts of their states' social climate.

~~~
homosaur
Yes, I agree, you should stay on Facebook and do whatever.

