
Weirdos in the depression - johndcook
https://blog.plover.com/book/weirdos.html
======
throwaway_jobs
> Doc has a beard, and people are always asking him why he has a beard. Doc
> learned a long time ago that it makes people angry and suspicious if he
> tells the truth

I purposely have a big ole homeless looking beard specifically to keep people
at arms length.

Ironically one time in a single weekend it backfired twice...on a Friday while
doing planks/pushups on a yoga mat in a park I was attacked by someone yelling
“get out of my country” because they thought I was a Muslim praying to Mecca.
Then the very next day I went to fresh market and ordered bacon and baby back
ribs from the butcher and was confronted in the store by a man who followed me
into the parking lot to attack me for being a bad Jew and ordering bacon and
ribs on the sabbath.

I’m neither Muslim nor Jewish, and even after learning this neither of my
attackers were apologetic.

~~~
r_singh
Have experienced similar things as a Sikh all over the world when I still had
an uncut beard.

From not being allowed inside a club for wearing a turban to being hugged by
someone for being allah’s son.

Man, did being a Sikh teach me something about negative assumptions based on
appearance.

I remind myself that it is nothing but a survival instinct and even I was
doing this in one way or another.

~~~
moksly
I think it’s absolutely amazing how much we put into looks and first
impressions. My story is the opposite of yours, being a fit white Scandinavian
cisgendered male who looks the part of an IT/banking manager when I’m clean
cut. The amount of privilege afforded to me based purely on my looks and what
I’m wearing is just insane, and I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve often used it
to my advantage.

These days I look like a hippie, sporting a full corona beard, coloured or
happy message t-shirts, stretchy jeans and sandals. And it’s a whole different
story, people offer me no leeway. Ironically my career and I guess
wealth/status has progressed exactly opposite to my looks. So people should
really stop judging anyone at face value.

~~~
phkahler
>> Ironically my career and I guess wealth/status has progressed exactly
opposite to my looks.

A friend of mine is an engineering consultant (software) and looks shabby. He
met me for lunch one day after seeing a client and I said "you went to see
them like _that_?" He said it's part of the uniform. It sends a message about
being good enough not to worry about superficial impressions. I'm sure in some
cases that's true.

~~~
overgard
This is so true. There's been a lot of times when I cleaned up my look and
wore really nice clothes to work, just because I felt like looking good -- and
the number of "going for a job interview?" jokes I got all the time was
countless. It's like a requirement to dress down.

~~~
Tsiklon
Also bandied about here in the UK as an accompaniment to that is: "Going to
court?"

~~~
hnzix
"Yes, I've been stealing hearts."

------
jaspax
I have my doubts that being a weirdo is actually that much easier today, and I
see that others have made the same point. However, the kinds of things that
qualify as weird have definitely shifted. Wanna be gay? Sure, no problem (in
most cities in most parts of the western world). Want to avoid sending your
kids to formal schooling, sell things out of the back of your truck, or avoid
working a full-time job? Expect to get a lot of hassle both from society and
from the state.

~~~
rpiguy
There are a few BIG differences.

* Today you can be smart and popular. There will always be smart kids that get picked on, but there used to be pure, outright hostility toward the smart kids as recently as thirty years ago. This is especially true for women. My grandmother never told us she was valedictorian until we found her diploma cleaning out her house, women just couldn't talk about their intelligence. Even when I went to high school I remember a girl who would lie about her test scores (she would say she did worse than she did so she could fit in with the other girls).

* Today you can be openly gay. You will take shit for it, but at least you are out. People used to give you shit for it and you had to keep yourself in the closet or else. Situation is still shitty, but improved from a low bar.

* Weirdness can be cool now. Showing an interest in anything other than the mainstream interests used to result in terrible teasing.

~~~
partyboat1586
Weirdness is still not cool. The goalposts just shifted.

It just so happens that right now what's cool is a charicature of actual weird
people in the past. See girls claiming to be 'quirky' or 10 years ago
'random'. Also see people being self proclaimed 'nerds' because they like to
read a lot.

It's basically there as an illusion of depth and mystery.

Actual weird people like that dude who makes low production quality lightsaber
fight videos in his garden (can't remember his name) are still considered
weird. Though I think the word they use these days is 'cringe'. Alternatively
what people will do is put these super weird people on a pedestal in
conversation while not actually respecting them or wanting to be directly
associated with them.

I'm not saying we've made no progress but it's a lot less than it appears on
the surface.

~~~
vzidex
> that dude who makes low production quality lightsaber fight videos in his
> garden (can't remember his name)

His online handle is Airsoftfatty, and his story is actually kinda tragic.
iDubbz visited him and made a "documentary" of sorts about him, it's a
fascinating watch [1].

[1] Full Force: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfwPL-
bd_mk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfwPL-bd_mk)

------
ldd
> “Lee. Got more name. Lee papa family name. Call Lee.”

“I’ve read quite a lot about China. You born in China?”

“No. Born here.”

Samuel was silent for quite a long time while the buggy lurched down the wheel
track toward the dusty valley. ““Lee,” he said at last, “I mean no disrespect,
but I’ve never been able to figure why you people still talk pidgin when an
illiterate baboon from the black bogs of Ireland, with a head full of Gaelic
and a tongue like a potato, learns to talk a poor grade of English in ten
years.”

Lee grinned. “Me talkee Chinese talk,” he said.

“Well, I guess you have your reasons. And it’s not my affair. I hope you’ll
forgive me if I don’t believe it, Lee.”

Lee looked at him and the brown eyes under their rounded upper lids seemed to
open and deepen until they weren’t foreign any more, but man’s eyes, warm with
understanding. Lee chuckled.

“It’s more than a convenience,” he said. “It’s even more than self-protection.
Mostly we have to use it to be understood at all.”

Samuel showed no sign of having observed any change. “I can understand the
first two,” he said thoughtfully, “but the third escapes me.”

Lee said, “I know it’s hard to believe, but it has happened so often to me and
to my friends that we take if for granted. If I should go up to a lady or a
gentleman, for instance, and speak as I am doing now, I wouldn’t be
understood.”

“Why not?”

“Pidgin they expect, and pidgin they’ll listen to. But English from me they
don’t listen to, and so they don’t understand it.” “Can that be possible? How
do I understand you?”

“That’s why I’m talking to you. You are one of the rare people who can
separate your observation from your preconception. You see what is, where most
people see what they expect.”

\- East of Eden, John Steinbeck

~~~
war1025
East of Eden is a great book. Highly recommend it, and really any of
Steinbeck's works. Surprisingly relatable, even with how much times have
changed since they were written.

------
officemonkey
Mezz Mezzrow was a Jewish C-list Jazz clarinetist from Chicago that was active
during the depression.

He was also a successful marijuana dealer to the Jazz community. He married a
black woman, moved to Harlem, and called himself a "voluntary Negro." When he
was arrested at the Worlds Fair (60 marijuana cigarettes with intent to
distribute) he convinced the cops he was black and thus was housed with black
prisoners.

He was good friends with Louis Armstrong and has such a cult status among Jazz
fans that there's a NYC Jazz Club named in his honor.

As Dylan wrote "To live outside the law, you must be honest." Especially so
when conformity was life-threatening.

~~~
selimthegrim
So the claim is he actually released some OK stuff at the end. How true is
that?

~~~
officemonkey
Trad clarinet isn't terribly difficult compared to post-bebop jazz. Pee Wee
Russell and Benny Goodman were probably the best at it in the 60s. I don't
think I have any post-1930s Mezzrow recordings to make an assessment.

------
geocrasher
I think that it's not easier to be accepted because you're an oddball. I think
it's easier to accept _yourself_ as an oddball. People all over the Internet
are oddballs to the greatest degree, and they aren't outcasts- they're
founders, CEO's and engineers. I am personally a Nobody, which I'm completely
fine with, but I let my geek flag fly. I am unapologetic about any of the
things I'm into, whether it be science, "maker" scene type stuff, ham radio
stuff, or even religion. I am who I am. I've accepted it, and I expect others
to accept it _if they want to_. I'm really okay with people thinking I'm a
weirdo. I kind of _am_ in a lot of ways, but I don't care. Back then, you had
to care. And in some cases, you still do.

~~~
Cthulhu_
I think acceptance in itself will actually make you less of a weirdo. It makes
you less focused on "proving yourself", or thinking you need to look or act a
certain way, makes you less defensive, and it makes you carry yourself at
ease, looking confident.

Being able to understand and accept yourself are some of the most important
developments both me and my girlfriend have gone through in the past ten or so
years.

~~~
geocrasher
Self acceptance and forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts a person can give
themselves. It allows you to actually be okay with who you are, and if you
don't like something you now are allowed to focus your efforts on self
improvement instead of self doubt or even self hate. It's been a long road
here, too.

------
aminozuur
I can think of some examples in my own life where I felt like I had to 'larp'
(pretend) in order to fit into the community I was part of. Luckily, I've
stopped giving a fuck as I've grown older.

~~~
dreamcompiler
If I could send messages back to my 12yo self it would be "quit pretending to
give a damn about football." Football was a big deal where I grew up and I
spent a lot of time keeping up with it to "fit in." Fortunately I figured out
it didn't matter by the time I got to college (which happened to be a major
football university).

To this day when I tell people I went to UT Austin their first response is
usually "Longhorns are doing great this year aren't they?"

"I have no idea" I respond. "But they have very good EE and CS departments."

~~~
alexslobodnik
I'd be careful with that advice. Sports are great conversation starters.
People want to share what they are passionate about. I may not want to spend
hours talking to them about it, but a few minutes that's fine. Who knows maybe
you will learn something useful.

~~~
geocrasher
-1 Strongly Disagree. Sort of :p

When somebody tries to talk sports to me, I feign stupidity but in a silly
way. For example if somebody tries to talk Football (American) I say "Oh,
that's that thing where sweaty guys chase each other around and people talk
about it, right?" and they laugh, realize I have zero interest, and we move on
to a more relevant subject. It's all in how you go about it.

~~~
daseiner1
that’s a patronizing statement that i don’t think certain kinds of people
would love

~~~
geocrasher
If it's said in a kindhearted way with a twinkle in your eye, people usually
get it. On the other hand, I stopped trying to please everyone _years_ ago.

------
chrischattin
Interesting thought.

I think the weirdos today look a little different than the classic stereotype.
Being a geek/nerd actually became cool. In the 90's, it really was only the
weirdos who were into programming and computers. Coming out of the closet used
to be very risky. Not just socially, but you opened yourself up to real
physical danger. It took a lot of guts to be honest with yourself and openly
be who you were. Now, being gay is fashionable.

Look that the things that aren't considered cool to do/say/think today and
you'll find the weirdos. I think they make our world richer.

~~~
charliesome
From the rest of your comment I assume that you mean well, but I would
encourage you to reconsider your statement that being gay is fashionable, and
reflect on why it might be offensive to some people.

~~~
chrischattin
Maybe it has negative connotations for you. But, I think it was an appropriate
use of the word as many aspects of LGBT culture have worked their way into
popular culture and are now considered cool (regardless of one’s sexual
preferences).

~~~
tygrak
Don't forget a certain F word is still used as an insult in English. And don't
forget there are places in the world, where being openly gay is definitely not
accepted (like Russia). Or even parts of the world, where it will definitely
get you killed.

~~~
Taylor_OD
Gay marriage is not legal in many countries.

[https://worldpopulationreview.com/countries/countries-
where-...](https://worldpopulationreview.com/countries/countries-where-gay-
marriage-is-legal/)

Calling being Gay fashionable is certainly a mindset that could only be
developed in the last 5~ years in the USA or a very select few other
countries.

~~~
shard
Queen Eye for the Straight Guy came out in 2003. That's 17 years ago.

~~~
Taylor_OD
Which was a year before gay marriage was legal in the USA. Queer eye is a show
that was showcasing something that was not commonplace at the time. I don't
think it's an argument that being gay was fashionable in the early 2000's
unless you mean fashionable in the most literal way.

------
5cott0
I did it to protect my good reputation in case anyone ever caught me walking
around with crab apples in my cheeks. With rubber balls in my hands I could
deny there were crab apples in my cheeks. Everytime someone asked me why I was
walking around with crab apples in my cheeks, I'd just open my hands and show
them it was rubber balls I was walking around with, not crab apples, and that
they were in my hands, not my cheeks. It was a good story, but I never knew if
it got across or not, since its pretty hard to make people understand you when
your talking to them with two crab apples in your cheeks.

\- Catch 22

~~~
basicplus2
"When I was a kid, I used to walk around all day with crab apples in my
cheeks. One in each cheek."

... A minute passed. "Why?" [Yossarian] found himself forced to ask finally.

Orr tittered triumphantly. "Because they're better than horse chestnuts...
When I couldn't get crab apples," Orr continued, "I used horse chestnuts.
Horse chestnuts are about the same size as crab apples and actually have a
better shape, although the shape doesn't matter a bit."

"Why did you walk around with crab apples in your cheeks?" Yossarian asked
again. "That's what I asked."

"Because they've got a better shape than horse chestnuts," Orr answered. "I
just told you that."

"Why," swore Yossarian at him approvingly, "you evil-eyed, mechanically
aptituded, disaffiliated son of a bitch, did you walk around with anything in
your cheeks?"

"I didn't," Orr said, "walk around with anything in my cheeks. I walked around
with crab applies in my cheeks. When I couldn't get crab apples I walked
around with horse chestnuts. In my cheeks.

------
forinti
I've just read a nice little contemporary Japanese book about a woman who has
a hard time not being "normal": Convenience Store Woman.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convenience_Store_Woman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convenience_Store_Woman)

------
adamc
The envelope is a little bigger, but it's still hard. Try working with facial
tattoos, or (if you are male), wearing anklets to work. Or being polyamorous
in a lot of contexts. I could go on...

At enormous costs, gay people and others have widened certain channels a
little, but the mindset of conformity still drives us -- so thoroughly that it
was even hard to think of examples, a second ago. We are socialized in
childhood, and later from our teenage peers, not to step outside the norms for
our communities.

We fear to be different, and we fear the different, and it isn't even clear
why. Why should I care if someone else is walking around naked? Why should I
care if my coworker has tattoos? Or a thousand other things.

~~~
overgard
I agree people shouldn't judge, and I'm not defending it, but I think the fear
they have is this: if you look like a certain "type", there's a decent chance
your behaviour is predictable, and thus, safe (or at least manageable). But if
you're just completely different people have no model to predict how you'll
act. When people are confronted with that, some people react with hostility,
some with avoidance, some by freezing up -- and some rare souls who have the
confidence to have an open mind.

~~~
082349872349872
"And Then There Were None", SF by Eric Frank Russell, purposely characterises
the natives as not fitting into "types" and thereby creeping out the Terrans
who have come to explore (and exploit?) their planet...

------
galoisgirl
It's still hard to challenge stereotypes.

You're not white, where are you from? Michigan? But where are you _really_
from?

You've lost weight, how did you do it? Eat less? No, you must have found some
magical shortcut, you just don't want to reveal your secret.

------
LandR
I think it depends what you mean by weirdo.

It's much easier to have odd interests nowadays and wierd hobbies because you
can counter it by dressing well, good personal grooming and being in shape.

People are very accomodating of peculiar people nowadays as long as your are
aesthetically pleasing to look at.

I don't know if that's forward progress or it's just shifted sideways.

~~~
phendrenad2
Sounds like you're describing the Halo Effect:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect)

------
chias
> I think it must be a lot easier to be a weird misfit now than it was in
> 1935.

Jane doesn't have children, and people are always asking her why she doesn't
have children. Jane learned a long time ago that it makes people angry and
suspicious if she tells the truth, which is that she doesn't have children
because she doesn't want children. So she's in the habit of explaining that
she can't have children as a result of a medically necessary hysterectomy.
Then people are okay with it and even sympathetic. (There was no
hysterectomy.)

Some things don't change all that much.

------
dan-robertson
I like the examples but I’m not sure I agree with the conclusion. An
alternative argument is that it’s in some sense easier to be a weirdo or
misfit today because much of what was a weirdo or misfit in 1935 is now
accepted today (though I guess other things aren’t)

------
throwaway98797
Society tells you to be honest but then only let’s you be free if you lie.

~~~
hinkley
Makes you wonder what we really think about freedom.

------
stared
For another example: "Winnie the Pooh". Every character seems to be affected
by a disorder (vide
[https://fantheories.fandom.com/wiki/Winnie_the_Pooh](https://fantheories.fandom.com/wiki/Winnie_the_Pooh)),
but it is fine. They accept each other as they are.

------
LeonM
> So he's in the habit of explaining that the beard covers up an ugly scar.
> Then people are okay with it and even sympathetic.

Hah! My dad does the same thing with his mustache.

People keep bothering him about his unusually large mustache, so he always
tells people it is to cover a cleft lip.

------
henearkr
I can't even begin to tell how hard it is to be weirdo (e.g. vegan,
teetotaller) even nowadays in some (although very much developped) societies
like Japan. I am both (vegan & teetotaller), working in Japan, and a
substantial part of my coworkers were mad at me. Another coworker is
vegetarian because of some health condition, and nobody bothers him.

~~~
Taylor_OD
Being a teetotaller is incredibly difficult in many parts of the world. I
realized later after I started drinking for the first time in my life that
many people feel that teetotallers are judging them for drinking even if that
is not the case.

------
photonemitter
I just remembered reading something years back about how “because” is a
magical word.

People are surprisingly more susceptible and accepting of any request if you
add a “because X” where the reason can be almost entirely arbitrary.

Examples included “can I cut in line, because I’m parked in a tow-away zone”,
which resulted in something like 70% compliance vs 10-20% if the person didn’t
proffer the added “because”

Was also examples of ridiculous ones like “can I use the photocopier before
you (to a person copying 2 pages), because I have to make 200 copies of this
(significantly bigger paper)” Surprisingly this also got a higher rate of
compliance even though the request did not make any sense per-se.

TL;DR: Providing an explanation for any questionable request “closes” the
narrative in a sense. The person now feels there is a justification for
whatever made the situation weird to begin with, and therefore the situation
no longer requires them to come up with justifications on their own.

(Brains/minds being lazy and whatnot)

~~~
andygcook
The study this references was mentioned in the book Influence by Robert
Cialdini. IIRC, even using the word because with a circular objective results
in higher compliance. For example, “Excuse me. Can I use the xerox machine
because I have to make copies?” resulted in 90%+ compliance rate vs. a ~50%
rate with just “Excuse me. Can I use the xerox machine?” My memory is probably
slightly with the exact percentages, but I always found that study
fascinating.

------
bitwize
> Mr. Raymond explains he is not actually a drunk, he only pretends to be one
> so that the ⸢respectable⸣ people will write him off, stay off his back about
> his black spouse and kids, and leave him alone. If they think it's because
> he's an alcoholic they can fit it into their worldview and let it go, which
> they wouldn't do if they suspected the truth, which is that it's his choice.

Rick: Y'see, Morty? It's just like I always said: there's an upside to being a
drunk. It means people leave you alone, and they won't bother you with their
stupid opinions on whatever it is you're doing that they know nothing about.

Morty: Uh, gee, Rick, I don't think that justifies annihilating universe G-435
on a bender...

Rick: Shut up Morty. That was a calculated risk. P _burp_ eople who don't take
risks are like Galvani's frog legs: twitching, but not really alive.

------
peterwwillis
> I think it must be a lot easier to be a weird misfit now than it was in
> 1935.

Everything is easier for people now than it was in 1935.

------
Rerarom
I had a professor who drank (presumably water) from a vodka bottle during an
exam to mess with us.

------
motohagiography
The same is true now. People can be unforgiving if you challenge or change
their world views, because while interesting, you have deprived them of
psychological safety and the infallibility of their senses and beliefs. Worse,
you may have infected them and exposed them to your weirdo social exile. What
has changed is normal world views encompass more variation as a result of
things like communications tech, seeing earth from the moon and space,
adapting to urbanization and globalization, but there are still edges, and
some very hard boundaries.

I used to be a weirdo, now I'm more of an intellectual traveller. Definitely
from somewhere, just not here.

------
criddell
The last (and only) Steinbeck I read was _Grapes of Wrath_ in high school and
17 year old me thought it was okay.

Would _Cannery Row_ be a good choice for somebody who wants to give Steinbeck
another try?

~~~
mjd
I'd say yes. It's not that long, and it's not so much a single story as a
series of related episodes. Also, I think it shows Steinbeck at his best and
at his worst at the same time. He really wants to hit you over the head with
the dogged bravery with which people pursue even their hopeless lives. When it
works, it works, and when he tries too hard, it's bathetic.

------
at_a_remove
Personally, I believe that there is a Conservation of Weirdness going on.
Certain things are outside of the statistical norm (or mode, or whatever
terminology you choose), with varying degrees of acceptability. What is
acceptable now might not have been acceptable then, but something else will
have become unacceptable in its place.

The current acceptability is a factor in determining how many Weirdo Points
you accumulate for your various abnormalities.

------
diffrinse
American society in particular is ultra-legalistic but supplements the
bareness of context with unwritten rules, some communicated in code, in
implicit ideations (the ongoing looting in major cities are referred to as
"violent"), some through passive observation or mimesis (like learning how to
stare at African-Americans from one's avowed liberal parents).

------
RookyNumbas
Doc may have been a weirdo, but he was also the most popular and liked person
in the entire town. The plot revolves around people trying to throw parties
for him because they think he's so great.

Today, no matter your weirdness, it's likely been productized and advertised
to the masses in some way.

------
agumonkey
I get seriously torn about resorting to trickstery to live in society. I'd
rather live in the woods than faking human relationships, but society seems to
force that upon us too often.

------
technothrasher
> Doc has a whim to try drinking a beer milkshake

Yeah, I had that same whim one time back about twenty five years ago... Let's
just say that the idea of a beer milkshake is much better than the reality.

------
cafard
Of course the option is open to those in power also. Doesn't Boris Johnson's
disheveled hair signify to all that he isn't to be relied on for accuracy,
truth, or judgment?

------
fnord123
Both of these books are fiction. I don't see how any conclusions can be drawn
about how easy or hard it is to be a weirdo in any particular time.

~~~
igravious
Fiction is art. Part of the utility of art is that it holds up a mirror to
society. This is fiction doing what it is meant to be doing.

~~~
fnord123
Do/did these works hold up a mirror to society? Or are they heavily
fictionalized so as to color the world with the idealizations and prejudices
of the author that they aren't really recognizable.

~~~
igravious
> Do/did these works hold up a mirror to society?

Probably, seeing as they're both literary classics. (I've read both.)

------
ravenstine
I see this phenomenon as similar to the noble lie, except that it's to avoid
personal trouble as opposed to some other altruistic reason.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noble_lie](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noble_lie)

I've told my share of personal noble lies because many people can't let go of
irrational causes behind my actions. In order for them to easily accept my
eccentricities, I have to provide a rationale, even though I'm well aware that
many of the thing that I do are not motivated by reason but instead my
unconscious.

There's more minor reason that I tell personal noble lies, which is that if
someone asks me why I do X thing, and I actually tell them the truth, said
truth is usually ridiculously simple, in which case they think that I'm
blowing them off. In these cases, it's better for interpersonal relations for
me to have either a canned story , or make something up on the fly, that's
more interesting than the real one.

The first example that comes to mind is my father, whom is a great man in my
eyes but, if we haven't talked in a while, he will ask me "What do you eat
these days?" Depending on whether I'm trying to lose weight, I may have
literally no rhyme or reason behind my eating habits. Often times, I couldn't
tell you what it is that I tend to eat or have eaten. If I told my father "I
don't know. I eat lots of things and don't think about it much.", I can tell
that he interprets that as me trying to end the discussion. In that case, I
don't necessarily make up a total lie, but I will try and remember the things
I ate in the last few days and then speak like those are the things that I eat
all the time, and I might even say something like "I eat the steak and eggs a
lot because I'm trying to build some muscle."

Another example has to do with my mode of dress. Anyone who knows me knows
that I wear the exact same outfit 7 days a week, 365 days a year. I wear a
black t-shirt that's well fitting, jeans, and dress shoes. This is a bit of a
strange outfit to some, and the dress shoes are funny to most people. The real
reason that I dress this way is that I don't want to waste time and brain
power deciding what to wear and in what combination; I don't care what I look
like so long as what I look like is acceptable and fits my self image. This is
not a satisfactory answer to most people, in my experience, and I suspect it's
because they simply don't relate. The average person doesn't see the value in
removing unnecessary choice from their daily routine, and their choice to wear
a particular garment may indeed be necessary to them. So what I tell them is
that I like to wear black because it doesn't stain, and I wear the dress shoes
because they happen to be very water resistant when I step through puddles.

------
stcredzero
_I think it must be a lot easier to be a weird misfit now than it was in
1935._

In Columbia, SC in the 1990's, all of us misfits hung out with each other. We
had wildly diverse world views. We even had heated arguments with each other
at times. However, we were all vaguely united in our being non-mainstream. If
there were cliques, they could have their own gatherings without any
outsiders, but we also shared lots of spaces. The only people ever ostracized
were the Nazi Punks.

However, the World Music folks, eastern religion/woo enthusiasts, Old Timey
music people, Rude Boys/Rude Girls, metalheads, punks (of several varieties),
alternative music crowd, Harley motorbike enthusiasts, some of the Baptist
street preachers/missionaries, neo-hippies, actual hippies, etc...we all hung
out at the same cafes and music venues.

In the 21st century Bay Area, I find a lot more cliquishness of a particular
aggressive, conformist kind. There can be this kind of quizzing/seeking for
what you "really think," which might well be followed by judgments based on
shallow outward signifiers and even outright verbal aggression. In years past,
I never experienced something like that, outside of certain of the most
intolerant religious/homophobic/ethnic zealots, usually sparked off by my
appearance and/or ethnicity.

    
    
        Subdivisions
        In the high school halls
        In the shopping malls
        Conform or be cast out
    
        Subdivisions
        In the basement bars
        In the backs of cars
        Be cool or be cast out

------
new2628
The stories are charming. I find the last sentence hopelessly naive.

~~~
rattray
I keep in touch with my high school teachers every now and then, asking about
how "kids these days" are evolving. The biggest trend has been that
socializing now occurs digitally – during breaks, classrooms are silent as
students use snapchat.

Another trend that's really stood out – not just at my school, but according
to other educators I've talked to across the US – is much less bullying, and
much more acceptance of kids who are different (especially those with
disabilities). I'm lead to believe that the sort of kid who would previously
have been a bully is now the type to really stick up for someone who is
differently abled. Of course, having a "weird" preference of some kind – like
a partner of another race or a long beard – is a different thing, but still,
my impression is that most schools at least in the US are far more tolerant of
differentness now than even 20-30 years ago.

~~~
bambataa
How do educators keep track of bullying if it's nearly all online? Given that
educators often struggle to detect bullying happening out in the open.

------
zeveb
> I think it must be a lot easier to be a weird misfit now than it was in
> 1935.

I think it just depends. Some things are more accepted, others less.

It might be pretty career-limiting if one admitted that the reason one never
works Sunday mornings is because one is at church.

~~~
learc83
In the US that shouldn't be career limiting, 3/4 of people are religious and
most go to church at least some of the time.

Also who works on Sunday morning?

~~~
yoz-y
Employees in shops. One reason I moved into a big city is to be able to do
grocery shopping on a Sunday morning.

~~~
learc83
I get that there are people working retail, but I was asking that mainly about
programmers.

>One reason I moved into a big city is to be able to do grocery shopping on a
Sunday morning.

Nearly every grocery store in every small town in the country is open on
Sunday morning. Is it different where you're from?

~~~
yoz-y
> Nearly every grocery store in every small town in the country is open on
> Sunday morning. Is it different where you're from?

Yes in France in most smaller towns Sunday most everything will be closed.
There are special rules about working on Sunday in the law.

