
Why Young Americans Are Having Less Sex - randomname2
https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/02/08/why-young-americans-having-less-sex-216953
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brad0
I know that there's a few people who disagree with the article but I found it
hit close to home.

I'm a young(ish) guy that's tall, fit and has a great career that pays well.
On a (superficial level at least) I have a lot going for me in attracting
women.

Yet I have no interest in pursuing sex or relationships.

Why would I bother going out and attempt to have conversations with women who
have nothing in common with me.

Why have a relationship with a woman when it's taxing physically, mentally and
emotionally?

There's so many other things I can do with my time that is much easier and
more rewarding.

\---

After writing this I can't help but feel that my experience of relationships
isn't typical.

Does anyone agree or disagree with me?

~~~
rayiner
I think some people find relationships "taxing" and that's okay. But I think
working in tech makes it harder for men, who would otherwise enjoy
relationships, to find women with whom they have things "in common." I got
married not that long after leaving engineering for law. My wife, who is also
a lawyer, and I talk shop constantly, attend professional events together,
etc.

~~~
folkhack
> But I think working in tech makes it harder for men

Obviously anecdotal - but yea. I'm an engineer in America and for the entirety
of my career I have worked with 95%+ men. In my office right now it's 25 men
and one woman who is non-technical.

I simply just don't interact with women unless it's professional, within
mutual friend groups, at the bar, or in the dating scene. I won't initiate in
polite small-talk conversations out of fear my friendliness could be
misconstrued as flirting, and as a single 30-something guy I'm terrified of
making someone feel uncomfortable.

This all leads to a lack of confidence in non-professional interactions to the
point where I am legitimately shocked/concerned when a woman randomly
initiates conversation with me (as seldom as that happens).

~~~
brad0
I feel you. I'm 31 and am exactly the same way with women.

It's lead to the exact same conclusions as you - a lack of self confidence in
a wide variety of situations. This turns into overcompensation and having bad
interactions. That all reinforces the lack of self confidence.

------
Spivak
You should prepare to roll your eyes after the first page break. Once the
author starts speculating on the cause it turns into an articulate old-man
rant about kids these days.

"Those darn cellular-telephones, porn-ography, unwed couples, and consent.
Back in my day we didn't have consent and we liked it!"

Don't get me wrong, the article is well written and cited, but it seems to be
suffering from the fallacy of trying to draw conclusions based on things that
you can easily get statistics on rather than admitting that you can't boil
down human relationships into a few vectors. I'm prepared to have my
experience challenged but I can't imagine any young adult thinking this
analysis is anything but funny.

~~~
grraaaaahhh
Most of the article reminded me of this:
[https://xkcd.com/1227/](https://xkcd.com/1227/)

------
sssilver
Getting to intimately know people you believe you have nothing in common with
can be an amazing, transforming experience. It's one of the ways to grow as a
person.

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jacksmith21006
I believe it is the over prescription of anti depresents and other medications
that lower libido.

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DidISayTooMuch
Dude, when I moved to the US from India, I thought every guy in the US had a
GF and was getting it regularly. Boy, was I in for a surprise. May be it's all
the media/TV/Movies that made me think like that.

At least in SF, I see a lot of single men. I myself have been finding dating
hard here (may be because I'm a foreigner), which translates to pretty
irregular sex, but my friends in South East Asia are getting laid pretty
regularly.

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ravitation
My first thought about anything like this... Quality of the data set...

This is based on self-reported data. Is it not also worth asking if it has
become more socially acceptable to admit to having sex less often (or not at
all)?

Just as it probably has become more socially acceptable to not be in a
relationship...

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perseusprime11
My read on this article is that the author of this article is a young American
having less sex.

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thebiglebrewski
Speak for yourself, Politico!

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amriksohata
Porn and feminism

