
Simplicity is hard. Let’s go shopping - mnemonik
http://diveintomark.org/archives/2010/02/23/simplicity-is-hard-lets-go-shopping
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byrneseyeview
I tend to use the "inversion" argument, but mostly with vacations and not
physical stuff:

"We should go to Barbados for a week. It's only $1000."

"If someone offered to give you $1000, _plus_ an extra week to accomplish
stuff you want to do, wouldn't you take it?"

This works with appliances, too: _not_ buying that juicer means getting a few
square feet of counterspace _and_ $100.

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100k
Actually, research shows that unlike buying stuff, experiences like vacations
lead to happiness that does not diminish over time.

You're not just trading $1000 and a week to get stuff done, but also a
lifetime of happy memories.

~~~
spoiledtechie
research? Point to any?

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100k
You'll come across this if you read any book on happiness. From a quick search
("experiences happiness") the first result is a CNN article about this:
[http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/02/10/happiness.possessions/i...](http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/02/10/happiness.possessions/index.html)

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AndrewWarner
I really wish more people would accept that giving me something isn't the way
to celebrate my birthday or any other event.

~~~
MarkPilgrim
Left to my own devices, I would never leave the house. So I ask for
experiences. From my wife, I ask for her to find a local event that I wouldn't
think of going to by myself, and to arrange tickets/reservations/etc. From my
parents (who live nearby), I ask for them to watch our kids while my wife and
I go to said event. It works well.

~~~
trafficlight
I really like this idea. I, too, hate getting gifts. I already buy the things
I need and gifts just end up getting stacked in the corner.

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orblivion
One hell of a relationship this guy's got with his wife

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MarkPilgrim
It works for us.

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Snark7
I doubt that.

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andr
One way I try to fight this is I bought a big cardboard box and put almost
everything in it, which has doubtful usage. Stuff lingering on desks, old
gadgets, etc. If I need something I take it out. Whatever is left in the box
after a month I throw/give away. A few Arduino boards, accelerometers and RFID
readers will soon be available to a good home.

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phsr
_A few Arduino boards, accelerometers and RFID readers will soon be available
to a good home._

Interested!!!

~~~
jacobolus
Me too! If you (i.e. andr) want to send some along to a broke student (i.e.
me) who’s been saying he’d get around to buying an arduino board or two &
building something neat with a musician friend for months now, shoot me an
email. :-)

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wushupork
Upvoted for pure awesomeness. Coming from a struggling background my mom was a
hoarder and I struggle with getting rid of stuff all the time which bugs the
hell out of my wife who is a neat freak and likes to have her homespace look
like a magazine/catalog home shoot.

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llimllib
I've believed in simplicity for a long time, the wife not so much.

I'd given up on getting her to buy in, when our house burned down (nobody was
hurt). Now we both believe in simplicity!

(also: buy renters' insurance, even if you're poor. _Especially_ if you're
poor.)

~~~
ryanwaggoner
_I'd given up on getting her to buy in, when our house burned down (nobody was
hurt). Now we both believe in simplicity!_

Hmm...how convenient :)

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wglb
This post is a lot of fun, but with a very good point. I particularly like the
end of the story where she says _You're getting restaurant gift cards and
socks_

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hubb
by pure happenstance, a co-worker linked me today to mark's how to install
windows in 5 hours (<http://diveintomark.org/archives/2003/08/04/xp>). i
hadn't read his blog before, and he's got an entertaining style

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solutionyogi
I became fan of his writing after I read how I can make fruit salad and get
laid. :)

[http://diveintomark.org/archives/2006/06/09/fruit-salad-
reci...](http://diveintomark.org/archives/2006/06/09/fruit-salad-recipe)

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MarkPilgrim
That post still gets 1500+ hits a month from people searching for variations
of "fruit salad recipe." I get at least 1 email a month from random strangers
who appreciated getting more than just a recipe. :)

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mixmax
Move to a boat, that will solve the problem instantly. I have roughly 16
square meters of indoor living area, and that has to accommodate kitchen,
sleeping quarters, bathroom, steering, a sofa and a table where 8 people can
eat for when I have dining visitors. For very natural reasons you just don't
have a lot of stuff.

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mstevens
I have several large boxes that haven't been opened in 2-3 moves. I still
can't persuade myself to get rid of them.

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Sukotto
I had this problem too. We had a whole closet filled floor to ceiling with
boxes of stuff that hadn't been unpacked in over 5 years.

One Saturday afternoon, I pulled a box at a time out of the storage closet and
the wife and I unpacked it onto the livingroom floor.

Each item either: 1) Got placed in the "we will use it within 3 months"

2) Can sell for at least $20

3) Freecycle / Goodwill / Salvation Army

4) Trash

I made 10 trips to our dumpster and 2 to Goodwill. (Am now working on selling
the $20/each items)

What am amazing relief. I had no idea how much that huge pile of boxes was
weighing down the back of my mind.

So far, we've encountered 2 things we regretted ditching. Honestly though, the
only reason we regret it is that we know we had those things. If we hadn't
unpacked those boxes I would almost certainly have bought them simply because
I didn't even remember they were in a box "just in case I need it someday"

~~~
Sukotto
Too late to edit/fix. Each of those points above was, one of (contractor
garbage bag | large rubbermaid bin | pile on the dinner table)

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spudlyo
Very enjoyable. I've had similar conversations with my better half. I need to
simplify my life as well, I just moved and have boxes of cables to electronics
I no longer own. Why can't I bring myself to get rid of that first gen tivo
hard-to-find console cable? I don't know.

~~~
fr0sty
freecycle them. There are groups in most population centers. Someone out there
begging to find that tivo console cable.

Me and my wife have been getting rid of items not valuable enough to sell but
too valuable to pitch through that channel for a while now.

~~~
eli
I put all the old books and DVDs I don't want on half.com at a very low price.
It's a bit annoying having to mail them all, but it makes me glad to know that
they're going to someone who wants them.

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keeptrying
About 6 weeks ago, I had to pack up all the stuff in my Manhattan apartment
and stick it into storage to tend to a family emergency. In 6 weeks I dont
think I've missed anything except for a few books.

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araneae
Is it just me, or does this title reek of disdain for his wife and/or all
women?

To spell it out: the "let's go shopping" meme indicates stupidity on the part
of women. Here he's using it seriously to complain about his wife having
"difficulty" with simplicity. This in turn implies that women in general have
this difficulty, and this is a negative trait of the sex at large.

Maybe I'm being a little sensitive here, but I kind of want to smack this guy.

~~~
mnemonicsloth
Yes, Mark's wife is obviously not tech-savvy enough to read her husband's
blog.

Even if there were a big, strong man around to read it to her, she would be
the first to agree that it isn't a woman's place to stand up for herself.

~~~
araneae
I don't understand this response.

I really couldn't care less about his wife. I'd just want to smack him if I
were her. Or even if I were me. Which I am.

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mark_l_watson
That was so cool. Simplicity is more difficult than clutter. My wife and I
moved from a large, "partially cluttered" house on the beach to a small and
very tidy house in the mountains. It was not easy going from 2600 sq ft to
1150 sq ft, and after moving 12 years ago we had to make a rule of getting rid
of something when we bought anything new.

It takes real energy to go through belongings and decide what to give to the
Good Will or to toss.

~~~
dasil003
I'm more interested in how it was going from 100 ft to 7000 ft since I'm
planning on making that move myself.

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spoiledtechie
I actually had to move to VA about 4 months ago to take a job. I decided to go
through EVERYTHING in my life and see what I needed and didn't, so I took a 3
bedroom two bath house worth of JUNK and shrunk it down to an 6X8 Uhaul
Trailer. I now have 3 computers, 2 chairs, a bed, a rowing machine to stay in
shape, some books and thats all I would take with me again if I did the same
thing.. Ive never been so happy with all the junk I don't have...

I highly recommend living a minimalistic life style.

~~~
Psyonic
3 computers? I'm sure you have your reasons, but seems a little complicated

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mburney
Good overall point of view. But the author sounds like he's talking to his
mother, not his wife.

You have to be authoritative if you're going to undertake something that goes
against the norm.

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nir
I'm guessing you're not married?

(EDIT: I hope this isn't coming off as some '50s "take my wife" routine. My
point is that marriage isn't about authority, it's about partnership)

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mburney
Since we're doing the ad hominem thing, I'm guessing that you're American, and
your wife makes you sleep on the couch?

In all seriousness, my point is that the person with the more radical view on
how things ought to be done has to lead in that instance, and lead with
authority. This doesn't imply the entire marriage is about that. But in this
instance, yes. His wife would have been more receptive to his point of view if
he delivered it with more authority. Passive aggressive "experiments" to prove
a point will not influence her point of view and will not carry him closer to
the goal of making their lives simpler.

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MarkPilgrim
I've been leading. I've gotten rid of basically everything I can get rid of
without asking for permission, and that _has_ inspired my wife to clean up
some of her stuff too. It took my about two years, but now I've gotten to the
hard stuff, and -- surprise! -- it's harder than throwing away a box of old
papers.

(Oh, and no offense, but telling my wife "we're getting rid of this television
come hell or high water" would have been... less than successful in the long
run. Every relationship is different. Good luck with yours.)

~~~
nir
Perhaps the issue here is leading by example vs by authority.

Leading by authority alone doesn't scale. Even in places like the military
where leaders have almost unlimited power, relying solely on authority is seen
as poor leadership. Either you're ultra-charismatic or you just have to make
sense to people.

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mynameishere
This is perhaps my first meta-comment, but I can't believe such a unbelievably
banal post got 238 upmods here. "I tried to unplug my TV, my wife fought
against it." That's it. Pathetic.

