
Ask HN: Does your life have a purpose? - baconface
Have you always felt that you had a purpose in life, and regardless of what happens, that conviction never changes even though you don&#x27;t know exactly what that purpose is?<p>Did you ever have to make a seemingly selfish decision that hurt someone close to you in order to achieve the focus&#x2F;freedom necessary to fulfill your purpose?<p>Context is that I feel I have a binary decision in life right now:<p>- Simple &amp; safe family life that yields happiness<p>- Difficult &amp; lonely life that yields self actualization and &quot;making difference&quot;
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drothlis
3\. Simple & safe family life that yields happiness and the supportive
environment and mental health necessary to complete long-term projects.

4\. Difficult & lonely life that leads to depression and not achieving
anything at all.

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gyardley
Using an unknown 'purpose' to justify being a selfish jerk to someone won't
make you any less of a selfish jerk.

If you really want to be a jerk to someone, stop looking for ways to justify
it to yourself and just go own your actions - go be your jerky self.

I've personally regretted this every time I've done this (and I've done it
more than once), but maybe you're wired differently than me.

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kohanz
IMHO, it's naive to imply that a family life and "making a difference" are
mutually exclusive.

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csixty4
Indeed. It's our family life that allows my wife & I to go the extra mile when
needed because the other is able to jump in & take care of all the chores &
such.

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aviraldg
> Have you always felt that you had a purpose in life, and regardless of what
> happens, that conviction never changes even though you don't know exactly
> what that purpose is?

Nothing in life is absolute.

> Did you ever have to make a seemingly selfish decision that hurt someone
> close to you in order to achieve the focus/freedom necessary to fulfill your
> purpose?

Yes.

The right way to approach this is to have an excellent #1 which you can fall
back on if you're having trouble with #2.

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dave_sid
I think both of those options are really about yielding happiness. The first
option seems a hell of a lot safer and the second one seems a little
uncertain. If it's happiness you're after, then you're more likely to find it
in the company of others, than you will in isolation.

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lostdog
This letter by Feynman may help clarify your search for purpose:
[http://genius.cat-v.org/richard-
feynman/writtings/letters/pr...](http://genius.cat-v.org/richard-
feynman/writtings/letters/problems)

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shire
You're young don't think about it so much, just enjoy life and be happy you
could be dead tomorrow. Sometimes you just have to be grateful for everything
in life. Watch Steve Jobs commencement video maybe that will shine light into
your life.

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PencilAndPaper
I think very few people truly do great things all on their own. Go the social
happy route. You cant make a difference if you cant connect with people.

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alecbibat
Are you young? We tend to be much more idealistic when we're younger.

Why do you feel like there are only those two decisions?

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baconface
I'm in my late 20s.

I feel there are only 2 decisions because 1) I've felt the unparalleled
creative power of controlled, maniacal dedication and 2) I may suffer from
typical cognitive distortions despite reasonable achievement and lots of
introspection

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khyryk
I don't believe in such a thing as purpose unless one uses it as a substitute
for some state of mind.

