
Ask HN: How common is co-founder break-up at pre-launch startup? - tnsn
Working on an early stage start-up now and everything that can go wrong, seem to go wrong. One co-founder recently bailed, another (part-time) co-founder isn&#x27;t willing to go all-in. I&#x27;ve been blaming myself for this, particularly my judgment of who to work with.<p>How common is this? Would love to hear some thoughts and hopefully, encouragement!
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muzani
I can't find the exact source, but I recall YC/Paul Graham saying that co-
founders are the hardest part. Break ups early on are likely. It's so hard
that it's probably the biggest factor an investor looks for; it's like how
real estate investors look for location. You can change the type of building,
but not the location. And you can pivot a startup, but not the founders.
Hiring employees is hard, finding co-founders is harder.

My first business was done with a former best friend, the type I'd trust with
my life. But these things happen. People have different values or priorities.
And some don't commit fully. We had different values - he wanted a Ferrari and
I wanted to create high quality jobs. He wanted something to boast about to
friends, and I wanted something that wouldn't be a part of my identity.

Eventually met a great co-founder - he was a stranger I bought a book from via
Facebook. When I asked him to be my co-founder, that was the second time I met
him in person.

It's a lot like dating and marriage. Every mentor I met put it that way. It's
a mix of luck and hard work that puts you in a position to be lucky. Some
people get lucky early, some never, most never really figure it out.
Eventually you just settle for someone who isn't perfect, and a big part of it
working is to put in the effort to make it work.

It also only works if you're a giver and find someone who is similar. If
you're the type who takes as much as you can (most people in business and
elite jobs are), it's going to be really tough. There's just too much gray
area, too many prisoner's dilemmas.

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Axsuul
Very common, especially with friends. Everyone goes through these pains. It's
easier to talk than to walk. Don't be so hard on yourself about it, just adapt
and move on :)

