
The risks of someone calling you smart and how to avoid them - spodek
http://joshuaspodek.com/risks-calling-smart-avoid
======
arscan
Awhile ago I realized that it was extremely detrimental to think of myself
first and foremost as a "smart" person. Not because that self-image was
directly harmful to me in business/the real word (though I don't doubt that it
was), but because it reinforced very bad behavior on my part.

In order to protect my image of being smart, I would avoid situations where I
could make mistakes or appear less intelligent than I thought I was. And so I
wouldn't try new things, and I would stay away from any activities that could
"out" me as not actually being smart. Its really a vicious cycle, and the
result was that I was far less productive & useful than I should have been.

Now I try to project an image of being hard-working instead. It frees me from
having to constantly worry about messing up -- all that matters is that I get
the job done. And I think I'm much better for it.

~~~
taylorlb
It's great to hear someone talk about this. I've struggled with the same
situation my entire life. When I was a kid I was constantly told by adults how
bright I was, that I could do anything if I applied myself, and it became this
odd burden despite the clear advantages of whatever smarts I may possess.

I've always wondered what my adult life would be like if a different
perspective had been pushed on me as a child. Something different than 'you
should be doing this at this level because you're so bright, you can do X
without much effort even'. I'm hoping to not make the same mistake with my
child.

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dfxm12
This article is conflating "calling someone smart" and "implying the person
has bad social skills".

If you have good social skills, they'll be evident as soon as you are
introduced to someone, no matter how you are initially described. Look that
person in the eye & shake their hand (or do whatever culture dictates you do).
That's more of an impression than what someone else says.

Even if the way you are described is what sticks out most, and your
intelligence is stronger than your social skills or experience, that does not
imply (and I really don't think most infer) that you have "negative" social
skills. You could have "good" social skills (or experience) that is just
outweighed by "excellent" intelligence, or even neutral social skills.

A sample comparison: When you say someone has a nice personality, is does
_not_ mean they're also ugly.

~~~
jessedhillon
You're talking about logical possibilities -- yes it is logically possible
that someone could be called smart when their best quality is actually tap
dancing. Author is talking about why people introduce you as the smart guy,
and not the friendly guy or the guy who gets shit done. Because they are
speaking a code, of sorts, in that they are attempting to portray you in a
positive light but your intelligence is actually not a highly-valued trait.

If, when asked "what did you think of that woman you saw last night?" your
response is that she has a nice personality then yes, people will assume she
is homely. If you were excited about her looks, your answer (it's assumed)
would've been about how attractive she is. Maybe you meant to describe her
personality irrespective of her looks, but that's not how people will
interpret your message.

Communicating is about talking to people in a way that they understand you. So
you could sit there cross-armed and insistent that you are not insinuating
anything against her looks, as there is no logical interpretation of your
statement which requires that conclusion. But, then, you would probably be the
person this post is most for.

------
rayiner
> In time I found being called intelligent didn’t help me in business.

Also won't help you get a date. The reasons are not uncorrelated.

Beyond a certain level of intelligence (which varies depending on your
industry--it can be very high in some fields) what helps you in business is
empathy: being able to assess what someone wants and being able to use the
analytical skills you do have to give them that.

~~~
eshvk
> Also won't help you get a date. The reasons are not uncorrelated.

Depends on the girl. Depends on you also. The label "Intelligent" as it
applies to tech is slightly correlated with other traits like social
awkwardness, spending 8 hours of your room locked in a room looking at fast
moving flashing objects, inability to talk about anything else than those
things. Be interesting. Highlight decorrelation. Acquire dates.

> what helps you in business is empathy: being able to assess what someone
> wants and being able to use the analytical skills you do have to give them
> that.

Oh for sure, this is true even in Academia. I was supposed to go do my PhD
with a guy who was at the top of his field. Incredible mathematician/engineer.
Guy was an asshole. My research advisor at that time told me straight out that
he thought that would be a bad idea. Much later, I found out that every one of
his students left one year after. So he spends most of his days studentless,
publishing papers alone. This leads to lack of tenure: scaling of paper
publishing requires additional resources.

~~~
kazagistar
> The label "Intelligent" as it applies to tech is slightly correlated with
> other traits like social awkwardness, spending 8 hours of your room locked
> in a room looking at fast moving flashing objects, inability to talk about
> anything else than those things.

Because intelligence takes practice, and being interesting and social takes
practice, and there are only so many hours in a day. There is a meme among
some circles of nerds that goes like "while they were drinking and partying in
high school and college, we were studying and acquiring skills". This is
totally wrong-minded: the people partying were acquiring skills too.

The important point for the awkward and unsociable to remember is that those
skills really are just skills, like any other; some people might be more or
less "talented", but no matter what you are still going to need practice. If
you spent your life exclusively acquiring abstract problem solving skills,
perhaps it is time to step back, and round out your skill set.

~~~
eshvk
> Because intelligence takes practice, and being interesting and social takes
> practice, and there are only so many hours in a day.

That is not an excuse for anything though. No one has enough time. Everyone
makes do. Heinlein's quote on what human beings should do is relevant here.

------
parfe
Do stats exist on the reasons YC start-ups failed? From my casual reading of
news.yc it seems most start-ups in general fail due to social shortcomings,
not failures from inability to solve technical issues.

The tech world in general has some bias against what it takes to be a social
person. See talks about meritocracy and engineers running the planet. There is
definitely a lack of respect for the effort and ability it takes to actually
deal with people, which is what most of life involves.

~~~
6ren
One seemingly unhelpful answer is that the only way a startup ever fails is by
the founders giving up.

But when you consider startups like AirBnB, who at one time were selling
politician-themed breakfast cereal, maybe it is the simple truth. Never give
up; never fail.

~~~
johnchristopher
> One seemingly unhelpful answer is that the only way a startup ever fails is
> by the founders giving up.

> But when you consider startups like AirBnB, who at one time were selling
> politician-themed breakfast cereal, maybe it is the simple truth. Never give
> up; never fail.

This is magical thinking.

------
OldSchool
I tend to agree; I wouldn't start a business at least solely with my most
intelligent acquaintances. I'd start a business with people who are
intelligent _enough_ , social, motivated, and perhaps slightly dysfunctional
and have something to prove. If you're a HN reader type, you don't need
another you in order to start a successful business, you need a !you.

~~~
gadders
There is definitely a law of diminishing returns in a lot of cases with
intelligence. People who are just that tiny bit too bright are, not to put to
fine a point on it, a bit strange.

99% of anything you want to achieve in business or life you need to work
through people to achieve, so people skills are just as important.

------
pnathan
This seems more of a rationalization of the fear of smart people. In its own
way, it even seems to celebrate the "jockish" ideal of the sociable but not
very smart person.

~~~
leoedin
I really don't think it does. I think the author rightly points out that while
intelligence (as we measure it - ie an ability to solve abstract problems) is
useful in particular situations (generally involving complicated technical
work), it's not the limiting factor which determines success in other areas. I
think the message to take away from this is that if people describe you as
"intelligent", you shouldn't rest on your laurels. Intelligence is just a
small part of the toolkit required to be successful in business.

The reality is that in the real world you _need_ other skills to succeed in
business. The article linked resonates with my experiences in large,
engineering dominated companies. Those who rise to the top do so not because
of their technical skills but because of their ability to work with people.
Those with poor social skills don't move up the hierarchy. Of course technical
skills remain important even up the chain - a project manager needs to be able
to understand what's happening below him - but there is far less need for the
ability to solve complicated or abstract problems.

Success is measured in a lot of ways, and this is just applied to business. In
other areas (perhaps academia, large companies which value techical work, open
source projects) intelligence correlates more directly with success.

------
riggins
Hmmm ... I'm pretty sure I've seen Elon Musk, Larry Page, Sergey Brin,
Sebastian Thrun, Marissa Mayer referred to as blindingly intelligent. Doesn't
seem to be a handicap.

Edit: upon further reflection, I think the operative statement is 'rocket
scientist'. I suspect that being introduced as a 'rocket scientist' is in fact
a handicap because 'rocket science' has a connotation of being a kind of
useless knowledge (i.e. what can you do with that). Other the other hand,
think about how people react to someone being introduced as a 'computer
genius'? Lots of people will find that very interesting because there are lots
of practical and profitable things you can do if you're a 'computer genius'.

~~~
rayiner
Without getting into the other people, I hear Musk being described as "ballsy"
or "visionary" far more often than I hear him being described as intelligent.
I think everyone assumes he is intelligent, but that's not the primary
characteristic people talk about.

~~~
riggins
[http://www.rankboards.com/](http://www.rankboards.com/)

my unscientific response.

------
sandycheeks
The root of the issue is in the reason that an entrepreneur is perceived of as
smart.

Clients who think you are smart because you provided them an excellent service
for less money than they think its value should be is good. I do data recovery
jobs that work out like this.

Clients who think you are smart because you provide a solution that causes
them to make a lot more money than they paid you is good. I do web
design/promotion jobs that increase conversions which seem to fall into this
category.

These are a completely different perception of smart than the kind generated
from books I wrote or public speaking that I've done. This is my experience as
an entrepreneur who may not be as smart as some people think YMMV.

------
jib
I would be worried if someone felt that "being intelligent" was a primary
ability of yours - not because others think it reflects badly on your other
abilities, but rather because it isn't an important ability in itself and I
expect that a part of being intelligent is realising that intelligence isnt
important in itself, it is just an ability that lets you make better use of
your other abilities, and that can also act as a proxy for some other
abilities (as in - you can use intelligence to simulate other, useful
abilities).

Stereotyping, there is a group of people who are convinced they are
intelligent and that it is important to be intelligent - those guys are
usually not actually that good at abstract problem solving. Someone who truly
is good at it tends to be more laid back about it, and wouldnt consider it a
big deal or important.

------
zhemao
> Not many parts of life need intelligence and those that do tend to be low-
> level areas where people work alone, like science and engineering

I'm sorry, what? Neither science nor engineering is a solo endeavor. You still
need to work with your colleagues if you want to succeed. Just think about it,
how many science or engineering papers have you read which only had one author
listed?

------
gadders
Do we think there is a correlation that works the other way? I.E if you are
very pleasant and socially skilled will people underestimate your
intelligence?

~~~
mumbi
Then there is the question that has to be asked: is it negative to have your
intelligence underestimated or can you use that belief to your benefit?

------
dclowd9901
I definitely don't have this problem, but if I did, I'm pretty sure it would
help me identify the kinda of people I'd want in my life.

------
yfefyf
I think dealing with people is much more harder than dealing with codes. Could
somebody tell me how to learn the social skills?

~~~
gadders
How to Win Friends and Influence People, although 80 years old and a bit corny
in places has a lot of wisdom.

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influenc...](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People)

Also, when in a debate or argument with someone, focus on your end goal. Which
is more important - winning the argument (or saving face) or getting your
objective achieved?

~~~
vdaniuk
No, please do not recommend Carnegie. It is a fine specimen of cargo cult.

Much better is to learn psychology, courses are available free on Coursera,
Udacity and EDx.

~~~
gadders
I don't think it's a cargo cult at all. It gives actionable advice on how to
get along with people and not be a douchebag.

You can spend your time doing a psychology course, but I'm not sure that would
make you a more affable person.

------
duinobus
I gave up on this article half-way through. Author's use of grammar is
shocking.

~~~
gnoway
Maybe you just didn't understand it. Evidently the man is a rocket scientist,
after all.

------
mrcactu5
what about the risks of being called stupid??

------
michaelochurch
I agree. There are three issues here, all somewhat related.

First, there's flattery. An investor or boss who puffs you up with "you're
_so_ smart" is often trying to create a context where you feel embarrassed by
anything but a 120% effort. It works like a charm on the clueless, talented
young people that VCs love.

Second, there's validation as a show of power. When someone says of you, "this
guy is smart", what he might be saying is, " _I_ have the power to validate or
invalidate a person around here, and you're my guy-- if you keep in line."

Third, it can be a way of damning with faint praise. "He's smart" often means,
"he has so much _potential_ ", which always comes with an implicit "but". It's
much more effective to sabotage someone's reputation with continuing faint
praise than to come out with an obvious attack, which just makes you (if
you're the attacker) look like a bitter asshole. If you really want to ruin
someone's reputation, you always make it look like you're defending that
person (against negative social proof that comes "from the ether" because you
just made it up). It's like spreading a rumor by denying something. "He
clearly has issues with women but I doubt he's a rapist."

Then again, most of the time people are just saying what they think at face
value and there aren't any hidden motivations. I wouldn't read too much into
being called "smart". Often it means just that.

Still, it is a hard campaign to get out of the Smart Kid mentality (with all
the risk-averse mediocrity and approval-seeking that entails) and get more
toward a Maker mentality. It's taken me 30 years, and I still have to summon
the courage to, e.g., put something in open source. Ultimately, though, every
ex-"wunderkind" must learn that a Smart Kid is still just a kid. It's not
something to make a career out of.

------
mumbi
Just because you're smart or talented doesn't mean you're not naive. Investors
like naivety, just like record labels like naivety.

