

How to not feel bad when one's ideas are not accepted (by co-workers or bosses)? - hackaflocka

A co-worker (and friend) has this &quot;ego-problem.&quot;<p>When he offers ideas in work meetings or up the hierarchy (at work) -- if the ideas are shot down, his feelings get terribly hurt. He feels so bad that he shuts down and eventually stops proposing ideas.<p>What are some ways in which he can become less invested-in and identified-with whether or not his ideas are accepted? How can he get his ego out of the way? How can he learn to focus on the process (offering ideas) instead of the result (whether said ideas are accepted or not)?
======
pedalpete
The best way to have a great idea is to have tons of ideas, but without
sharing these tons of ideas, you don't know which ones are the good ones, and
which aren't.

Rather than just accept that his ideas were 'shot down', he should try to
understand why a certain idea was 'shot down'. Maybe it was outlandish,
wouldn't work because of things he hadn't considered, etc. etc. If he uses
each of these experience to further hone his idea generation, he can look at
each proposal of one of his ideas as an opportunity to get further down the
track to the right idea.

I think a big part of that is in HOW he proposes the ideas. Rather than
jumping in whole heartedly with "this is how xyz should be done", he could
come at it with "I was thinking about the way we do xyz, and maybe it would be
better if we did it by abc..." then he gets the feedback and gets to hone the
idea.

I fondly remember why my favorite mentor became my favorite. I had never had a
mentor before, but we were working on a large project and when we'd discuss
ideas, he would say little things that would open up my thinking further,
which I would grab hold of and push further again. I called it 'leapfrogging',
where people were coming together to discuss an idea and each others ideas
would progress the whole together further. There was no ego, as it was a truly
collaborative environment where ideas flowed freely. Not every idea worked,
but the experience was fantastic.

------
paulhauggis
It's not something that can be taught. He just need to have a thicker skin.

