
To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This - speaker5
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?action=click&contentCollection=Business%20Day&module=MostPopularFB&version=Full&region=Marginalia&src=me&pgtype=article
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pella
old comments: (352 days ago )
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8866933](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8866933)

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imsdal
The link posted by ada1981 in that thread leads to an advertising page.

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ada1981
Yeah. Somehow the URL was lost, I must not have set the autorenew properly :(
but we turned the app into a successful card game at PlayTheLoveGame.com

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MikeTV
FYI, the "Free online" app link on that page still points to the lost domain

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crusso
The author tries to reproduce the falling-in-love experiment of psychologist
Arthur Aron, involving a series of intimate questions and staring into each
others' eyes.

The end result? They fell in love.

Despite that, her conclusion was:

 _Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we each made the choice to
be._

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dgreensp
It's intellectually dishonest and detracts enormously from the quality of the
article. You can see the author taking her unique experience and awkwardly
shoving it into some familiar narrative.

I'm also skeptical that her thoughts and emotions while eye-gazing (with a man
she has a crush on) were entirely about how round eyeballs generally are,
based on the other reports of eye-gazing I've heard (including one firsthand
from an acquaintance). I'm guessing the author is either out of touch with her
emotions or is applying the same politically-correct white-washing here as she
did to her conclusion.

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themartorana
Wow. That's a lot of judgements and assumptions about a person's character and
thoughts - considering you've probably never met this person before, and have
only read this singular article.

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empressplay
I met my partner on the Internet, and we spent two months (before I could
afford to fly to Australia) talking over video-chat and we talked about
everything, nothing was off limits, all the while just staring at each other,
because it would be rude to do otherwise.

We've been together now almost ten years.

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irremediable
Romantic story. :)

I've always been surprised by people falling in love online, but maybe that's
part of how it happens -- a situation that encourages eye contact and
questioning.

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apalmer
I think the process kind of misses the whole point. Once two people have made
the decision to fall in love with each other it is 'relatively' easy.

The whole 'roadblocks' that are in place that this process overcomes are
completely rational. Its not difficult at all to fall in love, it is difficult
to find someone who you 'should' fall in love with.

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10dpd
This always comes up around Valentines Day so I created
[http://www.fallinloveapp.com](http://www.fallinloveapp.com)

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kilroy123
Thank you! I've been looking for this for a while. Saw this last year.

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matwood
Look someone in the eyes, get them to talk about themselves, and they will
most of the time like you. Not really a secret, but also not always easy to
do. And, for many people it takes real effort.

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Floady
I do believe in the science behind this to some degree. But for the largest
part this is common sense, the questions are so personal that you connect to
someone. The problem today is that everyone is afraid to expose themselves, or
puts up a facade they think society wants to see, rather than talking to each
other about real feelings and real stuff, no matter how odd, weird or silly.

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Majestic121
Well, science is also about explaining common sense. It is common sense that
if you drop an apple, it will fall down toward earth. But the theory of
gravity helped us put words on this common sense, and explain it better.

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pcunite
While I think you can fall in love with anyone, to actually stay in love
you'll need to follow the concepts found in books like "The Five Love
Languages" and "His Needs, Her Needs".

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zyrthofar
I love "The Five Love Languages". It helped me understand why my past
relationships had failed, that neither them nor me were at fault. We just
didn't speak the other's language.

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ourmandave
Strange that I finished reading your comment and was thinking you had exactly
5 past relationships that didn't work out.

Edit: Down votes for an observation about myself? Whatev...

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dang
It's likely because the comment was unsubstantive.

Please don't complain about downvotes in HN comments:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html](https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html)

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melicerte
There is a TED talk about this study[1], probably an interesting addition to
the article. Mandy Len Catron speech starts from this study.

[1]
[https://www.ted.com/talks/mandy_len_catron_falling_in_love_i...](https://www.ted.com/talks/mandy_len_catron_falling_in_love_is_the_easy_part?language=en)

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1024core
Falling in love is not the problem. Getting that cute girl to fall in love
with _me_ is the problem. :)

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hamhamed
What about an app to un-fall in love?

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chris_wot
That's like needing an app to tell you that you are using an electronic
device.

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hamhamed
im sure there's a big market for ppl who want to get over someone.

maybe the solution is to get someone new..or maybe we need an app to tell us
that, and marketed towards ppl who broke up recently

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justinhj
It's an interesting article as is, but these two people were already in each
others circles and mutually attracted to each other. A blind date would be a
better test.

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adamredwoods
That's what I was thinking, too. If someone wants to apply this test on their
own, they have to _choose_ the partner. So in my opinion, they're already
half-way there since there is some sort of attraction.

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AnimalMuppet
If you can fall in love with anyone, it would pay off to be wise whom you
chose to fall in love with...

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Shadow6363
Found this kind of interesting, but I'm having a hard time understanding the
procedure. Do both people ask each other every question or does person A ask
question 1, person B asks question 2, and so on and so forth?

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brandtg
Leave it to HN to over-analyze a romantic anecdote...

