
Ladies in Waiting - pepys
http://www.iasc-culture.org/THR/THR_article_2016_Fall_Rothfeld.php
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PeterWhittaker
An interesting read, but, fundamentally a flawed premise: It sets the
dichotomy in relationships, especially in romantic, sexual relationships, as
between on the one hand the incompleteness of the person waiting, expecting to
achieve completeness with the other, and on the other hand the conjoined
entity of two lovers in coitus, the old trope of two becoming one.

The most intimate and liberating coitus results in one person inhabiting their
own self, their own body, their own mind, their own emotions, as completely as
it is possible to do, with the other person as willing instrument to achieve
this self-completion.

We do not conjoin to merge, we join to experience ourselves and the moment
fully.

That is the other dichotomy suggested but not addressed: between waiting,
alone, and being present, with someone else. The author seems wholly unaware,
perhaps deliberately as it would be inconvenient to their thesis, that it is
possible to be fully present alone, fully engaged in a moment independent of
anyone else, and likewise possible to wait, lonely, while with another,
perhaps for very long periods.

In the author's waiting, there is no communication, no express of desire or
intent. One simply waits, and hopes. A life experienced so passively is
perhaps not lived. Waiting and silence have their place, but life is more
complex than that.

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ksenzee
Yet again I ponder the mysteries of how things make it to the front page, and
why there is no downvote button on articles. Although it's always good to have
a reaffirmation of why I write software instead of trying to use that master's
degree in French literature.

