

Fragile - flixic
http://ninjasandrobots.com/fragile

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endlessvoid94
For me, having a close personal friend pass away illustrated with painful
precision how little time we have in our lives. In the blink of an eye, we'll
be on our deathbed.

There is nothing more valuable than time. Nothing.

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hkmurakami
_> I know I can’t fully control my health and what fate has in store for me,
but I can be damn sure I’ve tried my hardest to stay healthy and given myself
as long of a chance as I can to spend time with and help others. _

I personally have been in the process of making such a change over the last 3
years. I do compound lifts and do extensive cardio nearly every day. For about
a month now, I've been bike commuting to work (30 miles round trip) even in
the rain. I used to eat a load of red meat every week, but now I've been
pescatarian for a good two months. I typically sleep before midnight and brush
my teeth twice a day (gum infections are bad! and expensive to treat!).

But what I find much more difficult than taking care of myself is getting
friends to take care of themselves. Telling them bluntly that "you need to get
in shape" or "you should go to the gym" or "you should stop eating junk food"
isn't likely to get them to change. But what I've found is that oftentimes,
indirect methods are more effective tools for bringing about change than the
blunt, direct, brash modes of influence. A person might not want to go to a
gym by themselves, but they're much more likely to come out to a long hike
with a small group of mutual friends, followed by a healthy lunch downtown.

I have a longtime friend who's become out of shape over the years that I
hadn't seen him (I was out of the area for the good part of the last 10
years). He's has easily one of the sharpest minds I have encountered,
completely trumping my own mind in every way. To think that his health may
expedite his eventual demise is an idea that tortures me.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to gently, indirectly, steer him back to the good
health he used to be in 10 years ago (he used to compete on a national level
in a certain sport).

~~~
ams6110
You need to deeply examine whatever burried anxieties are causing you to feel
a need to try to get other people to live their lives the way you think they
should. Why do you feel this need? Why does it "torture" you that someone else
may have a different outlook on what makes him happy?

~~~
alinajaf
People are free to live their lives however they want to within the law. If
you want to smoke, eat or drink your way into an early grave, you're free to
do so, and I don't think that the law should change in this regard.

That being the case, I for one am perfectly happy for people to give me
unwarranted, evidence-based advice on any subject, especially when it comes to
health. I also welcome any direct or indirect manipulation if it helps me take
action to improve my quality of life.

If I'm not convinced by what you have to say, I'll filter it out.

~~~
snogglethorpe
Seriously ... there's a big difference between a busybody and sincere concern
from a friend. To a real friend, you're always free to say "thanks, but I
understand the tradeoffs, and it's my decision."

To be honest, I often feel rather _flattered_ (even if embarrassed) when given
uncomfortable but well-meant advice, because in many cases it means the friend
cared enough to say something awkward; it's almost always much easier to say
nothing at all...

~~~
hkmurakami
That's definitely the case for me when saying something a bit uncomfortable
for the both of us. I think to myself _"is it worth it? Do I care enough about
this person to say something somewhat critical?"_

As a result I only say such things to friends I respect and care enough about
that I'm willing to take the risk of even straining a relationship.

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WiseWeasel
This is why I treat my iPhone roughly and get the insurance; I just couldn't
live with the hypocrisy.

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danso
Some more about Alex Okrent:
[http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-07-14/news/chi-
obama...](http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-07-14/news/chi-obama-
staffer-collapses-dies-at-chicago-headquarters-20120713_1_obama-staffer-obama-
s-chicago-president-barack-obama)

BTW, if you Google his name, you'll find a large number of articles from
right-wing sites that allege there was foul play...which I guess is the kind
of BS that we have to expect in partisan politics. What is surprising to me is
that the OP talks about how Okrent's death has made him more conscious about
health, but Okrent did not look at all like the stereotype of unhealthy. I
wonder if the heart attack was related to some congenital heart disease?

~~~
yen223
After googling "Alex Okrent", this was on the first page:

"Who Is Alex Okrent? (Apart from another dead Obama contact!)..."

Jesus christ.

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rrbrambley
Reading something like this makes me think long and hard about all the ways I
could be healthier.

~~~
snogglethorpe
There's always somebody that's more hardcore than you ... :]

I just try to at least avoid being the guy they've gotta move with a crane and
bury in a shipping container...

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seanlinehan
Thank you Nate.

------
samadram
:(

