
Lean into the pain - bensw
http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/dalio
======
kstenerud
Pain is like a compiler warning. 99% of the time it's telling you that
something is wrong, and so you should only ignore it if you're 100% positive
that you know what you're doing and the warning is a false positive.

The Jane and Joan example is a case in point. Rather than "merging often" to
take small pain now rather than big pain later, they should be taking a step
back and looking at WHY there's pain. They could, for example, choose to
stagger their work (work on stories involving unrelated files as much as
possible) such that they're not stepping all over each other all the time. Are
nicer messages REALLY that important RIGHT NOW? Couldn't Jane just work on the
purchase system instead on this sprint and do messages later and save everyone
a lot of pain?

Pain exists for a reason. Don't ignore it. And for the love of Pete, don't
just blindly push through it!

~~~
biot
In the Jane and Joan example, merging features and error messages into the
same file is what the underlying problem is and doing it more often or
staggering their work isn't the solution. Most languages have the concept of a
resource file where you can say "Retrieve the error message for condition
XYZ". If no such error has been defined, the code returns "Unknown error"
otherwise you get the error message. As a result, to add or change error
messages Jane only needs to go in and update the error messages resource file
which has zero impact on Joan's code. They can both work simultaneously
because they're no longer baking error messages into feature code.

Imagine the pain they will go through when they next need to internationalize
the application into multiple languages. If the errors are in the feature
code, they'll need to strip them out and convert it into what they should have
been doing in the first place which would have avoided the initial pain
altogether.

~~~
kstenerud
"Imagine the pain they will go through when they next need to internationalize
the application into multiple languages."

Actually I did just that late last year. It took one day to write a parser to
find string constants in source code and put them into a CSV file, then
another day to write and test a mutator script to replace the text with i18n
constructs and generate the resource file. Meanwhile, we sent out the csv file
to multiple translators to translate into 8 different languages. Total
development and implementation time: 3 days. Getting good translations made,
on the other hand, took weeks and required multiple verifications and lots of
pain.

I'll take a possible future 3 days work any day if it avoids daily pain from
implementing annoying localization constructs that we may never actually need.

~~~
biot
If it ain't broke, don't fix it. It sounds like for you merging of
simultaneous changes to the same file by multiple developers due to one person
coding features while the other writes error messages wasn't a pain you needed
to address so it made sense to delay the work to a future date.

~~~
kstenerud
I think you've mixed up the stories... The merging issue was a fictional
story. With us, we simply didn't bother writing for internationalization to
begin with (following the principle of YAGNI). And it turns out that when the
unlikely DID occur (we actually needed it after all), the pain was minimal
after a little creative thinking.

Merging often is something I like, but not for the reasons laid out in the
article. I like it because it lowers the chances of a freak ugly merge, and
more importantly because smaller merges means smaller code reviews (my eyes-
glaze-over point is about 200 lines or so). But I wouldn't use it simply as a
way to make painful merges more frequent yet less intense. Recurring painful
merges are generally a sign that something could be structured better. That's
where strategy separates the good teams from the mediocre.

~~~
biot
Yes, I get that Jane and Joan are fictional and that your story is real.
Perhaps I didn't state things clearly so I'll try again:

If you'll allow me to propose a hypothetical: let's say you did have recurring
painful merges because (borrowing from the fictional story) someone was
continually adding new features while someone else was continually tweaking
error messages such that there were many conflicts which needed resolving upon
every code check-in. You likely would have put the error messages into
resource files much sooner and avoided these recurring painful merges. But
because you didn't have this hypothetical situation (it ain't broke, thus you
didn't fix it) it made sense to push the pain of localization off to when it
was actually needed.

~~~
kstenerud
Ah yes, in such a case that makes perfect sense to me as well.

------
crazygringo
I completely disagree.

First of all, the whole kind of "no pain no gain" philosophy is particularly
American. In a lot of other countries they find this mindset bizarre. If you
go to the gym and it hurts, you should STOP. Maybe it will take you twice as
long to build up muscles as the guy who "leans into the pain", but you're also
not going to tear your hamstring, or slip a disc, or whatever, and you'll
still achieve your goals.

As for "psychological pain", again, don't "lean into it". Figure out where
it's coming from, and _fix whatever is causing the pain_. In the example of
merges, use continuous integration, or merge daily. Which is what the author
says... but that's not leaning into the pain, that's intelligently avoiding
it!

And if selling is a painful process for you, then don't "lean into the pain"
and keep doing it painfully -- find someone to teach you how to do it better,
so it stops being painful.

~~~
mikeash
Could you avoid making baseless statements that an attitude is "particularly
American"? I'm doubting you've done any sort of survey, even informal, to back
this up. There's a mental shortcut a lot of people like to take, where if the
USA does something one way, and another country does it a different way, it's
because the USA is wrong, and the not-USA country is doing the same thing as
the entire rest of the world. It's stupid, it's mildly insulting, and it
doesn't contribute in any way to the conversation.

Your post would have lost nothing, in fact would have gained quite a bit, if
you had simply left out the "Americans are weird" bit.

~~~
crazygringo
Ha! Well, I'm American myself, and my experience comes from signing up for gym
memberships in other countries I've lived in -- it was really eye-opening to
see how rare the whole "no pain no gain" philosophy is, when it's the
mainstream attitude in the US -- and it fact it's very relevant, because the
whole "no pain no gain" philosophy pervades a lot of American life -- working
longer hours, etc.

And I'm not talking about Olympic athletes here, I'm talking about normal
people who go to the gym. And obviously I haven't lived in every country, so
it's just anecdotal.

I don't know where you're reading in the "mental shortcut" you're talking
about to my comment... but I really don't think I was being insulting to
anyone :)

------
chrismealy
Not all pain is gain. A little story:

 _I once knew a guy who trained martial arts, a lot. He had a proverb he was
fond of. He used to say "Pain is just the sensation of weakness leaving the
body". And so he kept on training, even when it really hurt, because he knew
it was just weakness leaving his body. And it worked; over a period of twenty
years, nearly all the weakness left his body. When I last saw him, there
wasn't enough weakness left in his knees or ankles for them to even bend. He
walks with a stick, of course. Turns out that you probably ought to leave a
bit of weakness in there._

------
eric_bullington
I'm not familiar with this blog, but the post preceding this one is pure gold.
I don't often read these "blog psychology" posts, but this guy is an excellent
writer and addresses some important topics in personal growth.

<http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/semmelweis>

Similar theme as the "Lean into the Pain" post above, but it hits harder, and
is potentially more useful. The post's tl;dr? Never stop looking in the mirror
and facing criticism with honesty. But take the time to read it if the topic
is of interest.

~~~
possibilistic
Aaron's a bright guy, and he's done a lot of cool things:

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_Swartz>

~~~
eric_bullington
Ah, the JSTOR guy. Yeah, he's great. Didn't make the connection.

------
dredmorbius
Poor physiological analogy is poor.

Having some familiarity with both technology and physical training, there are
causes of pain in both which have various causes and implications.

In exercise, there are various types of pain which may indicate little more
than a solid effort, while others indicate acute tissue damage or injury which
can lead to chronic or debilitating issues if left untreated. There's a huge
difference between the strain of exertion in lifting, lactic buildup from a
sprint, weightlifting burn, blisters or other chafing injuries, DOMS, the pain
of tendinitis, a cramp, and plantar fascitis.

Some of these are momentary and transient, disappearing in a few minutes.
Others are the result of tissue damage but will heal, if properly treated, in
a few days. Others indicate either damaged or traumatized tissues which heal
very slowly if at all, and can be debilitating if left untreated. _None are of
themselves an indication of progress or "goodness" of a workout: you measure
progress in training by your success in acheiving goals, not through pain._

Sure, DOMS after a hard lifting session, or sore muscles after a long run or
ride can feel "good" in a sense, but it's not a sign of progress of itself.

It's a similar situation in technology.

There are things I encounter in technology that are similar: practices which
are tedious, or vaguely challenging, or require thought, vs. others which are
automatic. But there are also patterns and trends which just feel obviously
_wrong_ , and which practice has shown are really bad ideas. The current trend
is to call these "patterns" and "anti-patterns".

Again, the important things aren't the presence or absence of pain, or even
its intensity. If you want to gauge your progress toward goals, then _measure_
your progress toward goals, not how much pain you're experiencing en route.

------
startupfounder
"Yes it’s painful, but the trick is to make that mental shift. To realize that
the pain isn’t something awful to be postponed and avoided, but a signal that
you’re getting stronger — something to savor and enjoy. It’s what makes you
better."

In my experience with startups and cycling there are different levels of pain.
(<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmidt_Sting_Pain_Index>)

Once you realize what level you are experiencing you can get to know your body
and learn to push it through the pain.

This summer I did a 150 bike ride that ended on a climb, it was intensely
painful mentally and physically, but I was able to push my pain because I knew
from previous rides that it was a false boundary. My body still had fuel and
strength to do the last 15 miles even though I was exhausted.

The same goes for startups, the mostly mental pain is a signal that we are
pushing our limits. If we do it gently we can expand our understanding and
knowledge of the subject. It is in the quitting when we hit the pain wall
where we fail, push through it and the downhill on the other side will be
joyous!

------
bluishgreen
Another angle of human relationship to pain:

Agatha Christie wrote a book “Elephants can remember”, a detective story
structured around people recollecting events that happened long ago. Years
later, a group of researchers discovered that she had the starting signs of
Alzheimer during this period. They did this by analyzing the range of
vocabulary in her writings and there was a significant drop in the size of her
vocabulary (15-30%) and an increase in the usage of indefinite words like
something/anything. We can never be sure if she was aware of her slow
deterioration, but something has pushed her to dwell on the subject of memory
long enough. Even before we can consciously articulate the experiences of our
brain, clues to our deep inner experience is scattered all over in the
everyday choices we make, even in the choice of our thoughts. Look at the
books that you bought, and the books that you ended up actually reading. You
can apply the same to every bit of choice you make in your life, and you can
put together a wonderfully detailed picture of your deep inner experience.

One particular corollary to this interrelation of pain and choice is our
relationship to deficiency. Chuck Close drew pictures of human faces. His
portraits are highly sought by museums and collectors. Chuck Close has a
neurological condition known as face blindness. He cannot recognize human
faces.

Rivers flow. The fertility from the resulting flow leads to formation of
entire cities along its edges. The overwhelming focus that pain brings to
particular deficiencies we face makes them the central structure around which
we form our characters. I would not exactly say this is a bad thing
necessarily, but it is a narrative that will help you explore yourself. It
will take you to the far corners or more likely to the very foundation of your
personality.

more here: <http://urbanravine.com/discovering-you/>

------
pikewood
Shouldn't the agile motto be, "If it hurts, find a better way"? The whole
point is to have the agility to adjust around different circumstances. We're
not bound by natural laws, and our output is more likened to art than science
because of the many variations you can take. So take advantage of it!

This article assumes there is only one way to get something done, which smells
of rigid Certified processes. And our industry has enough of a bravado culture
that people put themselves through pain just so they can show off their scars.
Why not promote pain-avoidance thinking instead? We should all be thinking,
"there's got to be a better way", because most times, there is.

Knees hurt when you exercise? Try swimming. Merging is a painful process? Try
scheduling the work better; dividing the codebase smarter; allowing the
smaller work to be sacrificed in order to get the important worked checked in;
finding tools to help visualize the merge easier.

------
astrofinch
Aaron vs Aaron: <http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/easywayout>

------
stinkytaco
Of course, there's also injury, leaning into the pain so much you do damage to
yourself. Or even overtraining, a system wide failure cause by leaning a
little too far (this is actually fairly rare in physical training, but seems
to be a good analogy for burnout).

I would hate to see someone fail to achieve their full potential from either
avoiding what's difficult for them thereby failing to improve, or focusing a
little too much on what's difficult, thereby failing to achieve their
potential. I will never be a gold medal sprinter, and if I'm hoping to be, I
will be sorely dissapointed with my life. Doesn't mean that if I _was_ a
sprinter, I shouldn't work on my weaknesses to improve my overall ability.

It's a good piece, but a little self-knowledge goes a long way. Perhaps he
deals with that in the upcoming piece "Confronting Reality".

------
ftwinnovations
His premise, in my opinion, is wrong and therefor invalidates everything
following it:

 _The problem is that the topics that are most painful also tend to be the
topics that are most important for us: they’re the projects we most want to
do, the relationships we care most about, the decisions that have the biggest
consequences for our future, the most dangerous risks that we run._

Am I missing something, or am I just weird? This makes absolutely no sense to
me. On the contrary, the projects and relationships I care most about are what
bring me the most pleasure. Things that bring me the most pain are projects
and relationships that I can't stand or don't want to deal with. What am I
missing here?

------
scott_s
Related, "The importance of stupidity in scientific research":
<http://jcs.biologists.org/content/121/11/1771.full>

------
dkarl
I don't buy the Agile part but I find it interesting that the part about pain
and exercise has to be explained at all. I have a friend who used to talk
about improving his physique. It was one of the hopes and frustrations that we
shared chronically for fifteen years. Then one day I realized he hadn't said
anything positive about exercise in... years! (Apparently I can be slow to
recognize when an old friend changes something about him that's been the same
since I met him twenty years ago.) So what's the deal, I asked him.

"Exercise hurts," he said. Well, yeah, I said. But that isn't really a strike
against it, is it?

"How can you say that? Pain is unpleasant. When I exercise, it hurts, and I
feel really bad." That doesn't make any sense, I said. I mean, it makes
superficial sense, I said, but does it doesn't really work that way. It hurts,
but it feels good. "Yeah, it does work that way. I've tried it plenty of
times. It hurts, it makes me feel bad, it makes me miserable. It always made
me miserable, but I figured I'd be better off if I could do it and live with
being miserable. Now I'm married and [wife's name] doesn't care that I'm fat,
so I'm done with it." (The part about his wife is true. They're both obese and
revel in eating huge amounts of food together. Sometimes she tags him on
Facebook when posting about "fourth meal," which means hitting a drive-through
at midnight for burgers or fajitas.)

This is something you've always wanted to do, I said. You bought the P90x DVDs
and yoga mat. It was just a few years ago when you bought the Chuck Norris
Total Gym. You were already married then.

"Old habits die hard. I wanted to be tough enough to take the pain. Wishful
thinking. Now I know it's okay that I'm not a badass." Badass? You think I'm a
badass? You think everyone at the gym is a badass? "More of a badass than me."

That was it. I've brought up exercise a few times since then, and his story
hasn't changed. I get that he legitimately finds exercise to be extremely
unpleasant. I guess I get that my experience of exercise requires as much
explanation as his. What I don't get is how we arrived at opposite ends of the
spectrum and why his experiences with physical exertion didn't push him over
to my way of experiencing it. Did he not work out hard enough? Did he not work
out long enough? What was the missing ingredient that would have made him
experience exercise the same way I do?

~~~
wpietri
I used to be like your friend.

The important shift for me was developing a little humility and learning how
to train at my own pace.

When I started running, I would try to go as fast as I thought I should be
going. Which meant as fast as other people were going, or as fast as my high
expectations for improvement told me I should be going. It was hard, it hurt a
lot, and it wasn't fun at all.

Eventually I learned to pay attention to my actual (rather than desired)
fitness level, what my recent training history actually looked like, and how
my body was responding. That hurt a little, but was also very pleasurable once
I got going, and the pleasure more than counterbalanced the pain. I also
learned to distinguish different sorts of pain. For me the first mile is never
very pleasant, but I know it's all getting-warmed-up pain. That's different
that the you're-training-too-hard-and-its-time-to-stop pain.

For those looking to make a similar shift, I strongly recommend finding some
external structure that tells you how much to train. E.g., Hal Higdon's
beginner guide: [http://halhigdon.com/training/50933/5K-Novice-Training-
Progr...](http://halhigdon.com/training/50933/5K-Novice-Training-Program)

Then, don't be arrogant about it. Don't say, "Hey, I want to run a race
sooner, so I'll just skip 4 weeks ahead." If you are going to err, err on the
side of gentleness. Start with week 1, and if that seems hard, just do week 1
again until it seems right. You are trying to develop a lifetime habit, so you
have a lifetime to get this right.

Also, get a heart rate monitor. Set it to beep if you your heart rate gets too
high. Ideally, get one that records data, so you can understand your workouts
in context. If you are looking mainly forward, it's easy to get impatient. But
if you have actual data showing what you ran the last month, it's easier to
say, "Oh, I can see the improvement, so I'll try to do a little better next
week."

~~~
rgraham
Greg Glassman (CrossFit founder) likes to say, "Shoot for a low trajectory
over the horizon or gravity will fix it for you."

It's true of starting anything. You're more likely to get where you want to go
in small, incremental steps.

------
biscarch
It is important to remember that physical pain is divided into two categories
by athletes. "Pain" that indicates a broken bone or injury, which is typically
a lot sharper pain and "Pain" that indicates growth, which is being sore after
a workout.

Taking a shades of gray approach such as the above is beneficial in most
situations. "Pain" is not black and white all the time.

tldr; Learn what kinds of pain you should be pushing through.

------
suyash
In my opinion, there can be another argument: Preplanning carefully and doing
things when they are less painful but in advance, we can avoid huge last
minute pain and thus less prone to procrastinate. But if you fail to preplan
and execute, you have to go thru huge amount of pain to achieve success.

------
KVFinn
It's a good sentiment but the exercise analogy isn't the best... there is
PLENTY of pain in exercise that you should not "lean into" because you will
make injuries worse.

Not to mention exercise is mostly about routine and habit -- you'll make
plenty of progress of progress over time.

------
ta12121
"impactful" is not a word. please stop using it. please. I beg.

~~~
wccrawford
<http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/impactful?s=t>

Language evolves with the users.

~~~
ta12121
<http://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/impactful.html>

~~~
dpritchett
"Not well thought of by traditionalists" seems a likely description for a
hacker.

