

In Defense of Parenthood - new research suggests children makes you happy [pdf] - flexie
http://dunn.psych.ubc.ca/files/2010/11/Nelson-et-al.-in-press.pdf

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pixelmonkey
Study 1 indicated that "happiness" was moderated by marital status. Married
couples with children were not significantly happier than married couples
without children. They were only happier than unmarried individuals.

"married parents did not differ in satisfaction or happiness from married
people without children, but unmarried parents reported lower happiness and
satisfaction than their childless counterparts"

In Study 2, the discussion section points out the selection bias inherent in
this particular investigation. "... happier people may be more likely to
become parents. If parenting is related to well-being, then parents should
experience more positive states when they are taking care of their children
than when engaging in their other daily activities."

Study 2 does not distinguish between individuals who chose to have children
willingly vs those who were pressured into having children by people or
circumstances around them. People who actually want children may be the
largest group of people with children, or at least the largest group among
those sampled.

Study 3 is perhaps the most subjective investigation method. The main finding
is that people associate the actual act of child care-taking with high
"meaning in life". This is the parroting of a cliche. Sure, versus watching TV
and reading reddit, playing with your kid is going to seem highly meaningful.
Individuals who choose not to have children (operative word: choose) usually
do so because they replace that time with something meaningful to them, e.g.
writing, research, travel, a more demanding career.

Religious individuals rightfully find time spent on church and prayer
meaningful; atheists find this time could be better spent on other things.

All this is to say, I wouldn't conclude from this set of studies that
"children make you happy", and thus everyone should rush to have them.
Instead, I might suggest you ponder whether you truly want children --
ignoring this study or others like it. If the answer is an emphatic "yes" --
despite the financial, emotional, and time requirements -- then, by all means,
do. But if the answer is a hesitant "yes" or a firm "no", then, I might
suggest you reconsider.

And, if at all possible, when you do have your child, try not to be smug about
it to those individuals who chose to live their life childless. Their choice
is just as valid as yours.

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antidoh
"parents (and especially fathers) report relatively higher levels of
happiness, positiveemotion, and meaning in life."

Me too. My kid is the best thing ever, from a guy who never wanted kids.

We've evolved to have kids and protect them, that's obviously necessary. The
way that plays out is that kids bond to their parents, and that bond is
expressed as love, and man what a great thing to be loved by your kid.

~~~
XavierB
Same here. Could do without ... but now that they are there ... man i love
them

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dorian-graph
Wait, we need to defend parenthood?

~~~
tomjen3
Yes.

I don't want to give up my life and income to raise children and I freely
admit that I look down on those how do -- how can you possibly give up your
future and salary for something as trivial, mundane and boring as a baby?

~~~
Domenic_S
You have no future. None of us does. In the span of all of human history, the
duration of your life is an insignificant blip.

So you have kids and your blood lives on, and now a part of you lives into the
future after you're buried.

One way to look at it, at least. Disclaimer: I don't have kids.

~~~
tomjen3
We only exist as a way for our genes to be mixed and passed on to the next
generation, but hey, I am not going to be a good servant to my DNA.

Oh and once I am dead I really don't care what happens as it will have no
effect on me at all.

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rada
_New research suggests that children make you happy._

Looks like "you" means "fathers":

 _[...] analyses revealed that parenthood was associated with greater
satisfaction and happiness only among fathers._

Ouch.

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gadders
Anecdotally: fuck yeah. Best thing I ever did or ever will do.

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eli_gottlieb
That's not a defense at all. That's a disguised offense against the proper
values of parenting.

~~~
theorique
What are the "proper values of parenting"?

~~~
eli_gottlieb
Parenting for its own sake and for the sake of the child rather than as the
parents' latest hobby.

