
2nd year Comp Sci student that just now figured out I have ADD - dawilster
http://wporter.com/post/48345791421/2nd-year-comp-sci-student-that-just-now-figured-out-i
======
wikiburner
I haven't been medicated for my pretty severe ADD in years (I was very
uncomfortable with the personality changes/dampening of creativity/unknown
health impact of meds, etc.), thinking I could summon the willpower and
discipline to get through it.

I've been spiraling downward in a tailspin of _"unproductivity"_ \- to coin a
state of being - for a while now, leaving a trail of half started startups and
projects in my wake. I've got freelance deadlines that I've missed this week,
but I'm sitting here with 30+ HN tabs open in my browser, and probably 10,000
more bookmarked that I'll never read.

I've been working on the "final 10%" of several projects at a snail's pace,
for way longer than the first 90% took, and I constantly vacillate between
thinking they're the next big thing or a complete waste of time, but I can't -
or won't - finish them. More importantly, I'm _incapable_ of doing the smart
thing and just choosing one to focus on.

If I'm honest with myself, I haven't been nearly as aggressive as I should
have been in researching cognitive behavioral therapy techniques and other
non-pharmaceutical coping techniques, or even pursuing some sort of therapy.

Am I kidding myself thinking I can somehow get past this without medication?
Is there any other _REAL_ path forward?

~~~
readme
Stop blaming ADD. Even if it is related to ADD, this situation could not
possibly have been caused by ADD alone. You know that at the crux of it, poor
planning was to blame. Poor time management followed, and you screwed
yourself.

If you want to get out of this hole, you've got to get off HN now, (I use
noprocrast). After that, do _1 project_ per night at a time. Yes. You will
need to work in the dead of night, all notifications off. 1 project at a time,
only. It is also incredibly important that your projects are broken down into
microtasks so you can cross them off one at a time. I find often the easiest
way to become late is to not understand how much work was left. Break it down.
Think about 1 task at a time, ONLY. Don't think about B while you're doing A.
Not even a tiny bit!

When you've made considerable progress on each project, submit the latest
work, say what you've done, and then gather specific requirements and make it
clear, that after you finish these next things that the project is "done" and
by that I mean, you are at the end of your first iteration of development.

If you can't get those final requirements, and establish an agreed upon state
that is "done" the client will drag out the project as far as you're willing
to go. Hope it's not fixed price! That's just what people do. You need to put
your foot down about what constitutes complete, have a mutual understanding of
it, and execute those objectives.

If your client keeps asking for new stuff, put it on a separate list and tell
him not until XYZ is done and we're agreed on this.

You can get out of this, but it's important to realize, you _won't_ get out of
this using the same time or project management strategies that got you into
it.

~~~
InclinedPlane
Spoken like someone who hasn't the slightest clue how mental illness and
mental disorders work, or what it feels like to suffer from them.

"Just do X"! If only it were so easy, the world would be a much different
place.

~~~
readme
1\. I never said the commenter above didn't have ADHD.

2\. There's nothing we can do to help him other than say "just do it" because
frankly if he doesn't "just do it" pretty soon he's fucked.

3\. ADHD 1/3 scapegoat 1/3 misdiagnosed 1/3 ? maybe. Neurological evidence for
disease? Yes. Vague diagnostic criteria for actual patients? Check.

~~~
InclinedPlane
I see you're an expert on ADD. You should write a book based on your
expertise, you could make a lot of money and help a lot of people.

~~~
gverri
ADHD patient here.

I do agree with him. Most ADHD/ADD patients put too much focus on the disease,
when the only thing that matters is to be willing to do something about it,
asap!

------
rtpg
A thing which I find works well for my ADD is to talk (out loud, yes) to
myself when I'm doing something. I think people have a harder time getting
distracted from conversations, and there's also a 'rubber duck debugging'
effect in that your own thoughts become clearer.

Unfortunately this usually requires you to be in an empty room, which isn't
always possible. And this is more of a micro thing, not a macro one.

------
nivekastoreth
I went through this myself a couple of years ago. I had managed to make it all
the way through school but once I entered professional life, I realized that
people actually had conversations that I couldn't keep focused for. Using
urgency to complete projects no longer worked with the time frames I was
looking at.

The best thing in the world I ever did was go see a psychiatrist to get tested
to see if I was ADD. After the test came back positive, he prescribed meds,
and after finding one that worked for me, I was simply blown away.

I never knew that you could actually think about one thing at a time before. I
never really understood what it was to have a conversation and not be thinking
about a billion things. I never, ever, knew what it meant to focus on
something. It's entirely changed my world.

Wish you well my friend. At least go get tested. If you decide to take meds or
follow some other avenue, it's better to know what you're working with.

~~~
rtpg
There's a stigma about the meds in a lot of places, but I still remember how
much they helped me through middle school. I literally got math-related work
done 10 times faster that way.

Unfortunately the stuff that worked for me (Adderall) is basically just meth,
and I can't get a hold of it in Japan on account of it being illegal. I think
it's not even very possible to get a hold of ADD-related meds outside of the
US (France classifies it as a children's disorder, so after 18 tough luck).

~~~
marshray
Can we quit perpetuating this idea that prescription stimulant meds are
"basically just meth"?

Different molecules, different delivery systems, different dosages, different
therapeutic goals (euphoria not being one of them).

~~~
rtpg
but adderall is meth

~~~
marshray
They are different drugs: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adderall>
<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methamphetamine>

------
skue
First, you are not alone. Many high achieving folks have ADD, and many
discover it later in life. Very bright people can get through grade school
without realizing they have ADD until they eventually hit their wall. It
sounds like you are running into yours.

Understand that this does not mean there is anything wrong with who you are.
You could decide to find other strengths or focus on other studies. You could
also find an expert who can diagnosis whether you have ADD and help you
consider treatment options. The cool thing about ADD is that there is
medication that can make a dramatic difference. It's like flipping a switch
and becoming that person who suddenly can finish those projects and achieve
what you know you are already capable of.

You should find an expert to talk to, and you should look for resources at
your university. You could check whether there is a student/academic
assistance center. Even though your grades are good (you're by no means
failing), there should be folks there with experience diagnosing issues such
as ADD.

You could also simply check at the student health center - they should be able
to refer you to a psychiatrist. Don't be hesitant to go just because it's a
psychiatrist. ADD is nothing like more serious mental issues that we associate
with psych. In fact you could say that ADD is just a variation of normal - but
the first variation of normal that we have discovered how to hack with meds.
Nevertheless, treatment can make a real difference in the quality of your
studies, your relationships, and your future success. So it's worth exploring.

And as for your parents, don't let them talk you out of getting the resources
you feel you need. It's always possible that one/both of them have it too
without realizing it. Most adults these days are diagnosed as a result of
their child(ren) being diagnosed first.

Good luck, and hope that wasn't too long and boring to read. :)

------
CrazedGeek
Christ, I could have written this. Just found out last month. Not the best
feeling in the world.

Advice: go talk to a counselor at your university. At the very least, they
should be able to point you in the right direction studies-wise.

------
trippy_biscuits
Congratulations. Now you _know_ your brain just doesn't work like the typical
brain. And that's a good thing. You can see things differently even if there
are times when you can't see things the same way the typical person sees them
(social cues, body language, but you can still learn to pick those up). Use
ADD to your advantage. I'm at least twice your age, but had a similar
experience at your age. I'm still trying to finish school but it didn't stop
me from developing a career as a software engineer. I can personally attest
that exercise and the "no sugar/low carb/paleo diet" mentioned by Dylan.
Ambient and trance can also help at times. Lists, small goal, small breaks,
help you practice focus. Medicine can help, but only in combination with
behavioral therapy. Medicine has side effects, too. Many things will be harder
for you to accomplish in a given amount of time while other times you'll be
amazed that others are so slow. If your ADD is documented and you are being
treated by a medical professional, you can get extra time for assignments,
lecture notes in advance, and other accommodations like a private room for
exams where you can read out loud along with extended time limits. ADD isn't a
limiter to your personal success and happiness. It's a challenge to which you
adjust.

------
loceng
It could be food-related. Look into an elimination diet ... Also, look into
innerchild / regression therapy. There's usually an underlying reason why our
behaviours lead to procrastination. Good luck.

Edit: Oh, and yoga's good too. You can train the mind to be more focused.
Everything takes practice to get good at it ... focus isn't any different -
though with computers and multi-tasking, we sometimes think we're "focused"
because we're working, but really we're not focused on any one thing.

~~~
nivekastoreth
I'll grant you that for the most part that's true, but for someone that
actually has attention or hyperactivity disorders, telling them to "train the
mind to be more focused" is equivalent to telling a depressed person to "train
to be more happy". It's good advice, but positive willpower isn't always
capable of battling the chemical/receptor imbalances that are the root cause
of the issue.

~~~
xijuan
But by doing yoga and other psychological therapy, your neurochemistry may be
changed. That is how cognitive behavioural and mindfulness therapies work. I
think in the end, your neurochemistry needs to be changed in order for the
therapy to have an effect. But using drugs are not the only way to change your
neurochemistry. In short, I don't think he is suggesting that the author of
the article to use willpower. He simply suggests that maybe he can try some
psychotherapy.

~~~
nivekastoreth
As I said, it's good advice. But the waters here are much more murky than
that. That approach alone won't work for everyone, that's the only point I
wanted to make.

~~~
james4k
You might be right, but it's possible considering all of the modern
distractions and passive entertainment we have that it really is a matter of
mental conditioning (or something like that).

------
alexsilver
Not too familiar with ADD/ADHD but from some reading I've done it seems that
this is prone to misdiagnosis VERY often so you should be cautious with just
jumping on prescriptions...

Whether you actually have it or not, I think it's great that you are noticing
these traits of yours. Now you can start looking for solutions! Find ways to
motivate yourself (HN community is great), get organized, and if still needed
then find the right medicine that fits with the rest of your life.

------
jdrobins2000
Bottom Line: You have identified your problem. Your previous attempts at a
solution have failed. Keep looking for solutions until you find something that
works.

In my experience, adderall is extremely helpful. And in fact, I feel more like
my normal self when I take it (after the first few days of feeling like I was
on speed). A healthy diet and exercise is critical too, as is a balanced life
in general.

Your brain is biological, just like the rest of your body. It can have various
types and degrees of deviations from "normal", and I'm not sure there even is
a "normal". So, definitely listen to people you love and respect, but always
keep in mind that only you know what it's like to be you (to the extent you
understand yourself). It's equally important to take responsibility for what
you can, and to avoid blaming yourself for things incorrectly. You will be
able to tell the difference more and more as you spend time observing and
trying to truly understand yourself, without judgement or pretense.

There are challenges that cannot be overcome with sheer power of will,
especially if the will is the very thing that is compromised. Sometimes brute
force works, but sometimes a little creative hacking is necessary. ;)

Also, random things in my case which probably don't apply to you, but just in
case, some factors to consider: allergies, proper glasses prescription, nasal
obstruction (deviated septum). All those were things which I think exacerbated
the condition, so it's helpful to rule those out. Or in the case of allergies,
minimize the damage and identify the effects of various allergen seasons.

Good luck! You obviously have initiative, so I'm sure you will do just fine.

------
lutusp
I recommend that you avoid thinking of yourself as having some kind of
disease. The term "mental illness" is a sneaky and ill-defined term meant to
put mental behaviors on a par with physical ailments. But in fact, all mental
behaviors are adaptations to specific environments, and some are more
effective than others (some aren't effective at all).

To refute this, one would have to start by identifying someone who died of a
mental illness. Such things don't happen.

Also, the causative agents for real illnesses can be viewed in a microscope,
which means they are present or absent as a matter of empirical fact. Mental
illness diagnoses are dispensed through the opinions of psychologists, and
psychologists are famous for not agreeing about anything.

The only people who benefit from the stigma of a "mental illness" are
psychologists, who pretend to be doctors (which they aren't) able to offer
meaningful treatments (which they can't) for the mental illnesses they have
created by voting rather than research. All the new mental illnesses going
into the new DSM (about to be published) were included there by secret votes,
not evidence.

Imagine if real scientists behaved like psychologists: "Is there life on Mars?
Rockets are expensive — let's vote!"

~~~
maxerickson
If you want to take this stance, you need to be criticizing psychiatry (and a
psychiatrist actually is a medical doctor).

~~~
lutusp
> If you want to take this stance, you need to be criticizing psychiatry ...

When I talk to psychologists, they invariably say the problem is with
psychiatrists. When I talk to psychiatrists, they invariably say the problem
is with psychologists. But if human psychology were a science, this lame dodge
would not exist, because both psychology and psychiatry would be united by a
single theoretical framework, like the one that unites cosmology and particle
physics (i.e. the Standard Model).

Particle physicists attend cosmology conferences, and cosmologists attend
particle physics conferences, for the reason that both fields have the same
theoretical framework and because discoveries in either field affect the
other. And because physics is a science.

Psychiatrists don't attend clinical psychology conferences, and clinical
psychologists don't attend psychiatry conferences, for the reason that there
is no theoretical framework that unites psychiatry and psychology, and that,
in turn, is because psychology is not a science.

> (and a psychiatrist actually is a medical doctor)

Yes, but a psychiatrist's medical degree is in general medicine, not
psychiatry. _There is no mental doctor_ , there are only physical doctors. The
existence of a medical degree program in advance of psychiatric training is
just a way to confer an unearned status to psychiatry.

When you call a psychiatrist "doctor", you are acknowledging his medical
training, not his psychiatric training. If psychiatry were a science, of
course, this would all be different.

Any questions?

~~~
maxerickson
I suppose the first one would be how many actual conversations inform your
first paragraph?

~~~
lutusp
Hundreds, over decades. Reference: <http://arachnoid.com/building_science>

~~~
maxerickson
It's sloppy to label that a reference in that context. It does nothing to
establish that you have had hundreds of such conversations. (You could just
say you have already written your thoughts about it there, and that page
certainly indicates that you have thought about it quite a lot, even if it
does not directly document any conversations.)

Anyway, if you are going to take the hard line that those fields aren't doing
people any good, you might as well make it clear that you are lumping them
together (take the hard line meaning loudly advocate for that position on
comment boards and such).

------
hath995
As someone who also was recently diagnosed I highly recommend seeking out a
counselor and speaking with your doctor. After getting treatment for ADD I am
much happier and productive at school and work. In general, I'm less stressed
as well.

A therapist almost diagnosed me a couple years ago but I was biased against
the idea of accepting that I had ADD. Of course, now I realize how much wasted
time, money, and effort I might have saved if I had been willing to seek
treatment the first time a psychologist suggested it to me. Counseling and
medication have all been very helpful.

It's tough because it isn't well understood and the public has many wrong and
negative impressions of ADD/ADHD. One of the toughest is of course that many
people don't think it is real. However, personally, after a year of treatment
looking at my life before and after being treated for ADD, it is clear that
treatment worked for me. That really dispels that notion for me. If it walks
like a duck and quacks like duck... My university also had a lot of great
resources to help learn about ADD so check in with them as well.

------
xijuan
I usually don't have a concentration problem. I plan things early and get
things done before the deadline. I am also generally very persistent. These
traits have brought me a long way. But I have my own problems. And my own
problems have to do with anxiety and depression.. And things have gone really
bad before.. And even now, it is still not that easy. The point I want to make
is that everyone has weaknesses. In recognizing our own weaknesses, we could
sympathize with others' weaknesses even though they are different from yours.
Also most importantly we should not let our own weaknesses stop us from
achieving our dreams..Weaknesses are just something we have to overcome in
life. Seeking help, from professionals or from friends, is a way of finding
out how we could overcome weaknesses. In short I think the most important
thing is to recognize one's weaknesses and be motivated in trying to find ways
to overcome them.

------
rmb74th
Just like some others here, I feel like I could have written this post myself.
I was diagnosed w/ ADD at five and have only recently sought treatment (at age
34). I resisted the idea of taking meds for years but now I'm kicking myself
for waiting so long to address the issue. My entire life, I've been limited to
intellectual disciplines that I could assimilate w/in 48 hours or just BS my
way through (liberal arts). If I had been able to read more than two pages w/o
losing focus, things may have been different. Now I'm receiving treatment and
for the first time in my life, I think that I might be able correct the
problem (or at least mitigate it). For me, that means accepting that I can't
do it without help.

My advice is to talk to more than one mental health professional. Try to keep
an open mind about the different methods and combinations of methods used to
treat ADD. Whatever you decide, do not wait to address the issue.

------
t0
Exact same situation. I'm switching majors.

Edit: Another thought: Computer Science is boring as _hell_. Even the tiniest
bit of ADD makes it impossible. Even a person without ADD will probably show
some symptoms of it. Rather than figuring out ways to just "get through it", I
think avoiding this situation altogether is a better solution.

~~~
xijuan
Which major are you switching to ?

~~~
t0
Probably business. Something exciting. Sitting at a computer or solving math
problems all day is a nightmare, even though I've been doing it forever. These
things are usually a "sudden realization".

~~~
Xorlev
Software engineers employ math sometimes, but the real world is nowhere near
like solving problem sets and writing proofs.

You use this theoretical platform to empower your work and improve it.

------
rmrfrmrf
I'm in an extremely similar situation to you. Here's my advice: if you're
looking to get put on a medication (don't feel bad about feeling like you need
it), start getting help now. I'm saying this because getting treatment for ADD
is a LONG process. Once you're locked into the medical system, you're good,
but it can be a hell of a time getting there.

1) If you're away from home and don't have a primary care doctor, get one.
Like, right now. Depending on where you live, wait times for accepting new
patients can vary between 1-3 months. They'll typically set up an introductory
physical. Once you're there, explain to them that you think you have ADHD and
want to discuss treatment options.

From there, the meeting can go one of two ways. The way you want it to go is
for the doc/NP to start you on a trial medication.

On the other hand (and this happened to me), you may find that your primary
care physician is either 1) entirely against ADHD medications and/or 2) won't
prescribe them, instead requiring you to go to a psychiatrist. If this is the
case, then you must start the 1-3 month waiting period all over again trying
to get in with a psychiatrist. A shortcut here might just be to go directly to
the psychiatrist, but depending on your insurance, that may not be possible.

Tips:

Don't bother getting help through your university. They get too many kids
coming through there looking for easy Adderall and Vicodin, to the point where
they treat everyone like drug addicts. Getting that kind of treatment from
others can be really off-putting and make you feel bad about having ADHD.
That's the last thing you need.

If you can't get meds through your primary care, make sure you see a
_psychiatrist_ , not a psychologist. If you call a mental health center that
has a mix of psychiatrists, psychologists, and counsellors, make sure you
_know_ you're getting set up with a psychiatrist. You can still get diagnosed
with ADHD by a psychologist, but they don't prescribe medication, so you'll
have to wait another 1-3 months to meet with someone who can _after_ you get
diagnosed.

------
brendonjohn
With one month to go in the last year of my computer science degree I was
diagnosed with ADD.

The psychiatrist gave me some stunning advice: Ritalin or medication will not
do your work for you. In my last month of university I was enabled with the
ability to start working on projects well before the 48-hour cram period that
I had come to know.

I had spent most of my schooling as a child to be made out as an idiot. As I
result I'm now awfully quick to recognise when someone is not giving me their
respect.

ADD is supposed to be picked up through your younger years. However when I
grew up, it was the naughty children that had ADD/ADHD... they were the ones
that caught their teachers attention.

Someone like me would never be correctly diagnosed, I has happy internalizing
whatever it was that I was thinking about.

------
marshray
In addition to all the other advice you get, consider this:

It's a not a minor thing by any means, but it is at least a relatively common
thing. You're not the first person to encounter this.

Unless you're a literature scholar, no one will look down on you for not
having read War and Peace cover-to-cover.

You don't have to figure it all out right away. You have the rest of your life
to figure out how to operate your head. Thinking about thinking is fun, but
too much at once can be like eating too much candy.

Keep up your expectations for self-discipline, it's valuable and has gotten
you this far. That's enough for most people, but you're different. So let
yourself off the hook a bit judgmentally.

A lot of folks end up having fun with it.

------
jjjeffrey
Seriously, there's nothing wrong with seeing a psychologist and/or
psychiatrist. There are many possible scenarios, including that something
other than ADD is causing your symptoms, or even that there's nothing "wrong"
with you. I think there are many good mental health professionals who focus on
providing a minimal viable treatment for patients. Simply getting diagnosed
with something doesn't mean you need to be medicated, and being diagnosed with
something isn't even a necessary condition for a professional to help you find
a way to help yourself succeed.

------
EddieB
Thank you for sharing this, I am in a similar situation and often think this,
however always fall back to the "I'm just being lazy train of thought".

I didn't actually make it through the exams that would allow me to study
Computer Science, after studying hard I just couldn't concentrate when it came
to the exam, I had plenty of time and knew it was important however couldn't
focus. (I was like this throughout most of my education, good in class -
failed the exams)

Perhaps this is just more excuses in a modern world full of distractions,
either way I think I'll seek some professional advice.

------
slickrick3
Just as a heads up more serious mental illnesses have symptoms similar to ADD
in there very early stages. Instead of self diagnosing with ADD do 2 things 1.
get a real psychiatrist ( sorry to say but this person will probably not give
you adderall, dex or Ritalin on your first visit). Get a nuero psychological
exam done by a nuero scientist ( a real psychiatrist will be-able to connect
you with one assuming you need one) Lots of people who think they had ADD in
college go on to find out they have more serious conditions.

~~~
nilkn
Out of curiosity, what are the more serious conditions that have similar
symptoms to ADD in the beginning?

------
dylanhassinger
Things that may or may not help:

\- exercise

\- no sugar/low carb/paleo diet

\- meditation

\- ambient music / white noise

\- small goals

\- adderall

\- modafinal

\- cannabis

\- seinfeld's "don't break the chain" method

\- dont fight it, monetize it

good luck bro

~~~
zwegner
Cannabis certainly didn't help for me (though of course it's hard to isolate
its effects amongst everything else). It made me more interested in doing
things at first, but my mind would race much more, and I'd find it harder to
actually do those things.

I quit a while back and have surprisingly had little urge to do it any more.
While I greatly value the difference in perspective it can offer, I was just
using it way too often for too long, without even really enjoying it a lot of
the time.

------
dawilster
Thank you so much for the overwelming response from the HN community. I will
now spend the night going over all your responses. I'm going to book a
counselling session through my university and hopefully they can give me some
advice as to where to go from here.

Thanks so much

~~~
nivekastoreth
Good to hear. When you talk to the counselor, they may give you some ideas on
coping strategies - making lists, using calendars to remember all your
appointments, etc. You most likely do them already to have gotten this far in
your academic career, but if you don't make sure to put effort into making
them part of your routine (whether you decide to go the meds route or not).

------
lifeisstillgood
Wow - the hold it till the last minute thing rings incredibly true (to the
point it has lost me jobs).

What is diagnosis like - is it rather hit and miss or are there clear physical
signs? Off to read I guess.

~~~
nivekastoreth
As in all things, it's not so much of a "yes/no" diagnosis, but a spectrum.
But the range they can give you in the spectra (ADD/ADHD) seem to be pretty
tight.

From my experience, they asked me about past behaviour, current behaviour, and
some questions to probe my ability to keep track of the conversation. It was
the questions about my past and current that really shocked me. They were
asking if I did specific things that I just thought was "me being weird' but
are actually /extremely/ typical of people forming coping mechanisms for
different symptoms.

------
lhousa
wow! For once I thought "did I just write this?". This is just so me, I'm in
my 2nd year, CS and 20. Guess what, I have the same problem. I got to thank
you for posting this.

------
cwhy
I found out that my case is more severe than you... But the comments here
don't seem to come to any conclusion... Maybe I will find treatment as well..

~~~
nivekastoreth
I can simplify this entire thread for you. Everyone who has struggled with
this says "see a specialist, get diagnosed, take action". That action can be a
range of things, but first and foremost, talk to a specialist.

------
hmsimha
I can definitely relate to what you said, and I think sharing my journey
through academia may at the very least give you some ideas in how to approach
yours.

 _TL;DR at bottom_

Lots of the usual helpful advice has been given to you already (meditation,
medication, exercise, diet, lifestyle), and I don't want to discount it by any
means as it's all extremely helpful to try to achieve some kind of life
balance through pursuit of better habits which can definitely help you become
more focused. Instead I'm going to tell you what I've learned, as I was in a
similar situation 9 years ago, though whether my lot has been improved much
through experience is probably open to debate.

I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 8, though I've come to feel that the broad
range of symptoms that the label is applied is less of a binary trait and more
of a spectrum of behavioral characteristics that everyone can relate to, some
more than others. If you feel like you have it, you probably do, though
getting the official seal of "ADD" is probably only useful in that it gives
you a venue to legally obtain medication to help mitigate it, as I did;
working my way through the pharmacopoeia until I eventually settled into a
grudging partnership with Adderall, which I took throughout high school. And
it WAS very useful for extended periods of focus and crunching before tests
and exams.

The one catch: I absolutely hated it. It made me feel disconnected, gave me a
serious case of cottonmouth, gave me some serious bad breath, and made it
nearly impossible to maintain a healthy sleep habit and diet. It's not
something I would recommend except as an absolute last resort.

College can be a cruel first test of one's ability to balance their
commitments. Personally I found the barrage of new things I had to deal with
on my own for the first time overwhelming, and didn't last long at my first
institution (UIUC). At the same time, I can say that many of my obstacles were
things I chose. Making friends, going to parties, getting involved with
student groups, and social activities were all things that I chose over
applying myself towards my coursework. And here's the thing: _I learned a
lot!_ But not about the things I was being tested on.

I don't want to ramble on with obsessive detail, but I will say that I finally
graduated 9 1/2 years after enrolling in 2003, though much of that time was
spent not in school. Here's what would have saved my parents and I a lot of
money: As soon as my interest waned, I should have taken time off. I didn't
because of family pressure. There's a poignant quote somewhere about not
playing if your head's not in the game, I'm sure, and I wish I had taken heed.

The thing is, all the time spent partying, travelling, working crappy minimum
wage jobs, and living outside of the the very small world that concerns itself
with minute improvements to the travelling salesman problem, and whether P =
NP, gave me a perspective that has finally motivated me to pursue a self-
driven education on computer-science-related topics that I never had until _my
very last semester_ of college (which was Fall 2012). Do I regret it? Sure,
there are loads of things I'd do differently, but through the whole process
I've developed extracurricular skills I value and am generally much happier
and fulfilled person than I would have been if I had graduated in 2008.

So what I'm getting at in what I've realized is an extremely roundabout way,
is that if you don't feel like you're really ready to dive into what you're
learning headfirst, if you don't feel COMPELLED to... then don't. Take some
time off and do something else that you want. Consider another major or career
path. Learn to play an instrument. Heck, join a circus troupe. If you think
your CS curriculum is tough now, just wait until your junior and senior years.
That's when the difficulty really starts to adopt a tune that has the
palatability of nails-on-a-chalkboard.

Because of pressure from my parents mainly, I kept going back when I _knew
with all the fabric of my essence that I wasn't ready_ and trying to half-ass
my way through my classes. And I kept getting chewed up and spat out so to
speak by the difficulty of the material. Seriously, I ended up failing core
computer science classes repeatedly because my head wasn't in the game,
because I didn't understand why the concepts I was learning were important, or
applicable to anything I was interested in doing at the time, and because I
truly just wasn't ready. It's like trying to bike up a steep hill without
enough forward momentum. You need to be in high gear and ready to bring it.

So what finally got me interested in learning the material? I've always been
fairly certain that I want to build things with code. I considered everything
from music to writing to psychology in throes of self-doubt, but what it came
down to in the end was that nothing excites me the way computer technology
does, which fortuitously enough happened to be my intended major from the get-
go. But I had to learn a lot about everything else the other academic
disciplines, and life in general, had to offer before I was comfortable making
that decision.

TL;DR, as promised:

-Unless you want to medicate yourself (which may be unhealthy in the long run), you may have to put higher ed on hold until you're feeling it (I should have).

-The degree isn't as important as the knowledge. Motivate yourself to learn things that you're interested in for now. As your base of knowledge grows, you may find that more and more of your interests overlap with a computer science curriculum. In that case, go for the degree again. If not, consider majoring in or studying something else.

-Consider taking some time off from any kind of classical academic learning and instead use this time for other personal and emotional growth and self-discovery. Work and support yourself, if you're not already. Go on an enormous road trip. Spend some time volunteering for a cause that resonates with you.

-If you do decide to continue with school full-time, then do whatever you can to make it your only commitment. Tell the band they have to find a new drummer. Tell your best friend to find a new wingman. _Move in with your parents if possible or get whatever financial aid you can so that you don't have to work while you're in school_. Seriously, with this last one. It sounds lame, but if it may be the only thing that can get you through your junior and senior years of CS.

------
icewater
You are looking for an excuse. Whether you have ADD or not, you are wuss-ing
out.

------
yoster
Young people nowadays have so many things to cause distraction. When I was
younger, we didn't have cellphones and the numerous electronic related items
that cause you to lose focus. Try eliminating everything but the necessities,
and then focusing on one thing at a time. Even if you get distracted, set a
goal of going back to it even if it is for a very short amount of time. Just
like a tree, keep chipping away at it, and eventually you will make it fall.
You can go for medication, however, they can cause dependency, and can cause
more issues in the long run.

~~~
rmrfrmrf
The problem here is that you're basically required to be connected at all
times in any post-secondary environment, unless you're working for a company
that has made it a core value to limit connectivity.

I have professors now that e-mail the class at 1:30am on a Friday creating new
assignments due the following Monday. They all say the same thing: this is the
world we live in now, get used to it. Crises happen at work around the clock,
and the expectation now for pretty much everyone in the working world is that
you have at least _some_ way to be reached 24/7.

