
Power Posing: Fake It Until You Make It - jbyers
http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/6461.html
======
antareus
So, after you're the "alpha dog," what happens? Do all the babes start liking
you? Have you finally made it?

I realize that power has an effect on social relationships of every kind, but
the these sorts of articles always strike me as addressing the symptoms of a
problem (such as low self-confidence) rather than the problem itself. This is
probably because the root of the problem is not a simple prescriptive fix.
They also assume on some level that you should strive to have the upper hand
in every encounter, which is unrealistic and off-putting. The need to be the
"alpha dog" does nothing to abate feelings of insecurity, as you're still
engaged in a constant cycle of judgment and one-upping others.

Why do we encourage people to remain in this cycle? Oh, right, we've all been
told we have to be "alpha."

Whatever that means.

~~~
Xurinos
That is certainly a valid way of looking at it. I have a different
perspective, though.

I have been in the past, by nature, a shy kind of person. I was not into
parties, I let things slide by that dug me in more deeply, I became what
others wanted me to be.

Somewhere in high school, I learned the lesson in this article, and I am going
to say some related things. How did the bullies, stupid as they were, gain
followers? What was it about the way they acted that the strong moved with the
strong instead of butting heads?

It's pack mentality. We have it, as social creatures. The posing makes a
difference. Whatever you feel inside, you can move and shake things with the
illusion.

Then, somewhere along the lines, you believe in the illusion, have molded
yourself into it. You pretended to be an alpha, and then you became it.

Will the babes start liking you? You know it; many studies have shown a
relationship between confidence (not necessarily over-confidence, not feigned
confidence) and attraction.

Getting into the habit of a particular mindset CAN change you. Forcing a smile
will eventually result in a real smile. Sure, your self-esteem can rise,
purely on this.

And it does not have to be a practice of one-upping. Real alphas do not need
to play that game. ;) We can respect the presence and domains of other alphas.
You are talking about the yapping pups.

~~~
sbaqai
> _The posing makes a difference. Whatever you feel inside, you can move and
> shake things with the illusion. Then, somewhere along the lines, you believe
> in the illusion, have molded yourself into it. You pretended to be an alpha,
> and then you became it._

I find this quite interesting. I'm curious if you have any articles/links to
something that expands on this idea? Especially this:

> _Getting into the habit of a particular mindset CAN change you. Forcing a
> smile will eventually result in a real smile. Sure, your self-esteem can
> rise, purely on this._

~~~
antareus
I only have anecdotal evidence to share, but, take it for what it is worth.

I'd noticed that many people aren't always good judges of character and will
fall for illusory confidence. IMO, this explains why there is undue emphasis
in certain areas of life on social litmus tests: actual character evaluation
is time-consuming, difficult, and requires a certain amount of introspection.
So the test becomes a heuristic that works more often than not, and is relied
upon. (I like to "whimsically" mention my past history of LAN gaming on 3rd
dates as a way to assess how judgmental/uptight they are.)

The upshot is that other people's perceptions of you are way more malleable
than you might believe...as is your own perception of yourself.

Ultimately, social exchanges are something of a game, and can be exploited.

------
mds
Here's a link to the paper:
<http://dericbownds.net/uploaded_images/carneyetal.pdf>

It's about a 5 minute read if you skip the statistics.

------
T_S_
That's right kids, two hands on the desk, feet on the floor, barking orders is
a stress reducing a yoga pose. It's called kicking the dog. Feet up on the
desk, hands clasped behind the head is called the kicking back dog. Don't
forget to flare your nostrils and breathe through the nose.

------
babysitter
Just what the world needs. Managers of some future Enron, already in
possession of overly-inflated egos, literally puffing themselves up before
meetings. How revolting.

------
meric
I've got a presentation at uni today. I'm quite nervous, but this might work.
Just stand up with my back straight.

~~~
wallflower
Good luck and try this trick (only if you are presenting to mostly strangers)
- shake hands with people entering the room. People like people who aren't
strangers and someone they've shaken hands with is a little removed from a
stranger.

