
Ask HN: What's a polite way to say “I'm not interested” after interviewing? - Netsec
I&#x27;m interviewing right now as part of the job search and just passed a very in-depth and rigorous technical interview. The problem is, during my conversation with the lead dev and in the course of receiving direction, I just found... I really didn&#x27;t like him. I also had problems with the stack and just am generally uninterested in the work as I&#x27;ve learned more about it through the interview process.<p>Now they&#x27;re pushing me for a follow-up and quick hire. I&#x27;m not interested in ever working with the recruiter who placed me again - he&#x27;s consistently ignored my concerns and desires about finding work - but is there any way to let the company down? They&#x27;re a major player and I don&#x27;t want to burn bridges (I&#x27;m a junior candidate).<p>Doesn&#x27;t culture fit go both ways? I feel like no matter what I say, they&#x27;ll be angry I &quot;wasted their time&quot; but I didn&#x27;t know my decision until I learned what I learned during the interview...
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lucozade
Don't be too concerned. This sort of thing happens all the time. Just be
polite and say that you'll be pursuing other opportunities. You don't need to
go into a detailed explanation of your decision if you don't want to. The
interviewer may be a little bit put out but TBH that would only be the case if
you were the stand out best candidate in which case you'll probably be fine if
you wanted to re-apply in a year or so. As to the recruiter,just ask them to
pass on your decision. They may badger you about it (they'll consider that
they're losing money if you had a good chance of getting the role) but, again,
you don't owe them an explanation.

As a general point, as a hiring manager, I don't tend to feel that someone's
playing me unless we've actually agreed with them that they're taking a role
(going as far as agreeing a start date, comp etc) and they then don't join.
Fundamentally it comes down to whether or not we've stopped looking for other
candidates. If we haven't stopped looking, you're not really putting us out at
all.

~~~
Netsec
Thank you for that perspective! It's nice to know it's OK to calm down a bit!

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Smushman
You likely have a skill set that they need immediately.

Trust me when I tell you this - hiring is an impersonal process, and part of
'making the sale' includes emotional tactics if the opportunity presents
itself, and the other side is so inclined.

Hiring is also self serving and strictly business; contrary to any sentiment
expressed during an interview. An employer sees a way to profit from what you
provide, plain and simple, and thats why they are hiring you.

If you are going to succeed it is best to learn early on you alone maintain
your long term priorities in the hiring process and as an employee; no one
else will do that for you with the exception of maybe a highly trusted friend.

If it helps try to think about it this way; if a new applicant showed up today
with the same skills as you have and was willing to work for less, they would
have no hesitation in telling you that you were not a good 'fit' (industry
lingo for we don't want you and we aren't telling you why). You have to keep
the same mindset; if an employer comes along with a better offer, you would be
shooting yourself in the foot if you didn't take it.

It's not all rainbows and unicorns, but on the other hand it's also not all
cutthroat and competition. It's about finding a position that benefits both
parties in meeting their goals.

TL;DR don't feel bad about telling them no.

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chrisbennet
This is what I wrote to the last place I rejected:

 _" I thought about it last night and I’ve decided not to go forward with the
position.

Thank you for the considerable time and effort you went to on my behalf and I
feel bad that it wasn’t more fruitful. I really appreciate that you even
considered me."_

~~~
gesman
Remove "on my behalf and I feel bad that it wasn’t more fruitful"

Replace "that you even considered me" with "your time".

Watch for any signs of self-diminishing thoughts such as stating that your
time is being less important than other's time.

------
jayess
"I appreciate the opportunity to be considered for the position, but I've
decided to decline to continue the process."

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JSeymourATL
> Doesn't culture fit go both ways?

Yes of course, and it's never a waste of time to explore a potential business
partnership. I've found it more productive to have an initial Skype/phone call
with the hiring exec before any in-person meetings and tech interviews. Demand
this upfront and lead with your own questions.

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Jeremy1026
"After consideration I have decided to rescind my candidacy for the position
of <insert position here>. At this point in my career I feel like this
opportunity isn't best for my situation. Thank you for your consideration thus
far, best of luck as you continue your search for a suitable candidate."

------
digisth
"I don't think the position is the right fit. Thank you for your time" has
worked out well for me.

~~~
watmough
Most of these answers are good, but this is the best one.

Keep it short and sweet.

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helen842000
You are interviewing them as much as they were interviewing you.

Your response doesn't have to be any more detailed than the one they would
give you had you not got through the technical interview.

Just a simple & straight forward couple of lines thanking them for their time
and that it was good to get an insight into the role however it's not
currently right for what you're looking for.

At the end of the day they gave you a decent look at what working there would
be like, be glad that their interview process revealed what you needed to
know.

It's MUCH more costly to hire you then have you leave after 4 weeks. They
should be grateful you are upfront and not waste further time & money pursuing
a role you are not interested in sticking with.

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HeyLaughingBoy
_" Dear xxx: Thank you for interviewing me for the YYYY position. After
careful consideration, I have concluded that I would not be a good fit for
your organization.

I trust that you will soon be successful in finding the right candidate.

Sincerely, Netsec"_

That's really all you need to say

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Bahamut
As someone who hires, I can be disappointed, but I understand if someone says
no. It is like dating - it has to work out for both parties.

Just say thanks for your time, but you have decided to pursue other
opportunities. If they wonder why, you can maybe explain that on your side,
the position isn't a good fit. If the company gets angry, you likely wouldn't
have been happy there anyway.

