
Ask HN: Should I find new job before telling current job about surgery? - cKQjwLJ6sn20
I am a disabled software engineer at a mid stage startup who is planning to get an experimental surgery with the expectation to improve my quality of life. The recovery time is expected to be 6 to 8 weeks before I could return to work; although one patient recovered in 4 weeks. Several others died.<p>Should I request unpaid leave from my employer or just find a new job with a start date after a conservative recovery time? I am specifically concerned that revealing any weakness will compromise my compensation negotiation position. It is already a chore with my current employer to receive pay increases to accompany increased job responsibility. Management has a stronger position than I realized when I accepted the job. The tech side is very simple and much more of a minor contributor to the business value compared to sales and structural customer lock-in. Almost all of the engineers are second world contractors from multiple different agencies whereas the handful of stateside employees&#x27; purpose seems to be quality control through code reviews.<p>Has anyone here taken time off for surgery? Do you wish you had lined up another job offer first instead of requesting leave? Did management grant leave and then later retaliate after you returned to work?<p>For the small fraction of outcomes where I die, is there a best practice way to notify your employer? I know that companies often subscribe to services to monitor employees social media and LinkedIn for signs of disloyalty (looking for another job). Do these services also send notifications if a resource dies? I am interested if sending a courier with a Hallmark &quot;I&#x27;m sorry for your loss&quot; card could possibly be the first place they find out?
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mantap
It sounds like you aren't very happy at your current job, so by all means look
for a new job. That said I wouldn't like the stress of starting a new job
immediately after recovering from surgery. Why not request leave and after you
come back start looking for a new job?

As for notifying them that you have died, maybe you can ask a close friend or
family member to do it?

(Edited to add: in the case that recovery takes longer than expected you
definitely want to be employed, so quitting your job and starting a new one is
maybe not advisable.)

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jariel
This is such a difficult situation.

Your health comes first, and don't worry for a second about what might happen
to your employer in negative situations.

But the issue would be difficult to navigate for someone very familiar with
the details.

'Legality' may be of secondary concern here unfortunately - you may be
entitled to certain rights, but often companies just don't care and will screw
you, leaving you with no choice but to sue etc. - nobody wants to deal with
that.

It's rational for them to not necessarily want to pay you more, even for
ostensible promotions, but it doesn't mean they don't value you.

Also - consider that everyone is human on some level, you may want to let them
know you have to go in for some kind of surgery without disclosing any of the
details at all. You may want to indicate that you can have your Doctor contact
them. This may seem odd, but maybe you literally want to get a Doctor's note
which indicates the seriousness and recovery time without getting into any
details. The Doctors note will legitimise the situation so they'll 'have no
doubts' \- and with that documentation on file, they'll think twice about
doing something screwy: if you end up in small claims and a Judge sees they
have something like that on record, it can't be good for them.

Maybe once you've let them know, you can try to judge from their response the
level or career risk you face. You can perhaps offer to 'work out a time' with
them if that's an option for you.

It can't hurt to put out the feelers for another job as well.

Good luck with your situation. Life is long, your health is the priority.

In the long run, if you find that you're seriously in a situation wherein your
company won't cut you some slack for something so serious, then it's almost
definitely time to move on.

Good luck.

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nuclearnice1
The FMLA allows eligible employees to take up to 12 work weeks of unpaid leave
during any 12-month period to care for a new child, care for a seriously ill
family member, or recover from a serious illness.

In order to be eligible for FMLA leave, an employee must have worked for the
employer for at least 12 months, have worked at least 1,250 hours over the
past 12 months, and work for an employer with at least fifty employees.

~~~
iends
You have to have 50 or more employees for the business to be required to
follow FMLA.

~~~
nuclearnice1
That is literally the last line of my post.

But good to emphasize.

If you missed it, OP might have as well.

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f2000
Have you looked into possibility of going on short or long term disability?
Where I live (CA), I've never worked for a company that didn't provide
disability insurance. A few year's ago I severely broke my arm requiring
surgery - my manager offered me the option of applying for disability so that
I could take the time off for recovery while still receiving some percentage
of my salary. Good luck with your procedure!

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codingdave
Talk to your employer and ask for leave - even if you choose not to go back,
it is a safety net. If there are 50+ employees, they must grant you leave
under FMLA laws. If not, they should grant it out of human decency. If you
also want to look for another job, go right ahead. Taking leave does not
obligate you to return, and I have seen a few people take leave and then just
not come back, in various organizations.

As far as notification if something goes badly (hopefully it won't be a
concern), just make a list of who should be notified and give it to whomever
is closest to you. My wife and I have that anyway... our "In case I get hit by
a bus" documents.

I have taken time off for surgery before, and based on my experience, I have
one more bit of advice - forget about work for a while. Just worry about your
own recovery. Stressing over a job isn't how you should be spending your
energy during a time like this. You'll know when it is time to start thinking
about it again - there comes a point during recovery from major surgery where
you are tired of recovery and want to start doing something again. That is the
time to start thinking about work, not before.

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banner2018
I went thru spine surgery, being diabetic from poor health habits and a
sedentary job ... Programming, did not help my situation. It takes time to
heal and a stable health is necessary to take interview without looking
desperate. Also on a new job, to qualify for FMLA one needs to be atleast with
the employer for a year. I would not resign a job, if I was in your shoes.

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_q1cj
Milk them for all they’ve got. This is about your quality of life, keep your
insurance in the green and do what you think is best for your health.

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grad_ml
I wish you a long and happy life. I'm sure surgery will go fine and you'll be
alright! A colleague of mine went through some surgery(appendicitis), and he
was bedridden for a while. I think he was on paid leave. I believe, one would
have more leverage with current employer, where you have established goodwill
to cash. I would suggest, stick with the current employer, for now. One may
also hire lawyer, if you're concerned about surgical complications. Once you
are out of the hospital, well healed, then start a new adventure! One problem
at a time.

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inate77
Do you have benefits at current job? Also maybe check into FMLA to see what
kind a protections you have most places have to honor and sometimes pay a % of
whatever your monthly salary is. FMLA protects your position, and job i
believe for up to 12 weeks time off.

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keepspeechfree
y, I took FMLA or tried to when our son was born, they weren't happy and were
letting me know they were trying to find any loop hole they could to get out
of it, and said there might or might not be a job for me when I came back.

I ended up taking the leave with them, I ended up finding a new job while I
was off that started when my FMLA ended.

As far as if you die, don't worry about how your employer will find out. They
don't worry too much when they let employees go. As an employee that shouldn't
really be a concern for you to worry about.

Focus on your health and having a successful surgery. Good luck, I hope it
improves your quality of life.

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samfisher83
Does your company offer short term disability? Many companies have it.

