
6 Women Accuse Tech VC Justin Caldbeck of Sexual Assault and Harassment - philip1209
http://observer.com/2017/06/justin-caldbeck-binary-capital-sexual-assault-harssment/
======
jmcgough
Really glad to see people like this getting called out. Dealing with sexual
harassment/assault from someone in power is the last thing you want as a
female founder - you have a million other things you need to do to keep your
startup afloat, and you don't want to rock the boat if it affects your
likelihood of being funded. Feels like the valley is slowly but surely
changing.

And yes, I recognize that this hasn't been "proven", but really what's the
chance than there's a shadowy cabal of women who start companies in order to
target individual VCs. These women have little to gain from this and
everything to lose. Occams razor is that he's at the very least doing
something that's inappropriate.

~~~
munchbunny
The sad part to me is that this is just the part of the iceberg that is
visible above the surface.

I've heard stories from several female founders/VC's (not naming names or
specific details to protect anonymity) who have experienced repeated unwelcome
advances even after it was made clear they had a significant other. That's not
as egregious as groping (one of the accusations in this article), but that's
still sexual harassment by the letter of the law and slimy as hell every other
way.

Another common theme I noticed is when the man in question stays in the gray
area where individual incidents aren't clearly over the line and might not
qualify legally as sexual harassment, but in context and in aggregate it's
clear why a woman would feel very uncomfortable. How do you confront something
like that when they can just question your perception of reality?

In all but one case, the women decided against confrontation because the man
was in a much more powerful position (such as a general partner of a VC fund),
and the women were afraid of retribution and risking killing their careers by
taking a principled stand. They all wished they could do more, but decided
they didn't want to be martyrs. That's a bad position to be in.

I think it's damning of the industry that these women have accepted silence on
the matter as part of the burden of being a woman and pursuing this line of
work. Granted I'm looking at this with N < 10, but everyone I've talked to
shares the sentiment that it's a pattern, not a coincidence.

I'm hopeful that everything going on around Uber will move the needle enough
that more people are willing to come forward.

~~~
erikpukinskis
> repeated unwelcome advances even after it was made clear they had a
> significant other

Repeated unwelcome advances are not OK even if the person is single.

~~~
biocomputation
I am the very close relative of two women in tech. One of my relatives was on
the receiving end of repeated, unwanted advances over the last several months,
none of which were reported to HR because she didn't want to destroy her
career at the company.

Last weekend she received an unsolicited, nearly naked photo from the same
male co-worker. Needless to say, he is no longer at the company.

This is sad on two counts. First, it's sad that my relative felt she couldn't
report because she thought it would harm her career. It sickens me to say
this, but maybe she was right. Maybe it would have harmed her career.

Second, and I've seen this before, she had to endure further harassment until
he really escalated so she could report something significant enough that she
felt it wouldn't harm her credibility.

Though we're discussing this through the lens of the tech industry, the most
horrifying thing of all is that this isn't even a problem that's unique to
tech.

It's pervasive. Still.

~~~
r00fus
Does sending dick-pics or beefcake shots actually work? Especially if you keep
getting rejection?

What prompts this kind of mentality?

~~~
belorn
It was just the other day that that I read in the local news about a woman
that was arrested for sending breast pictures to an ex, sending death threats
to his new girlfriend, and stalking him from his home to work.

Stalking seems to be some form of obsessive behavior, and I suspect that
sending pictures is an early stage of such behavior. It also describe a cure
for it, ie similar cures we have when obsessive behavior makes someone a
criminal.

------
reducesuffering
What follows is a statement that Caldbeck provided to Axios this afternoon.

"The past 24 hours have been the darkest of my life. I have made many mistakes
over the course of my career, some of which were brought to light this week.
To say I'm sorry about my behavior is a categorical understatement. Still, I
need to say it: I am so, so sorry.

I direct my apology first to those women who I've made feel uncomfortable in
any way, at any time - but also to the greater tech ecosystem, a community
that I have utterly failed.

The power dynamic that exists in venture capital is despicably unfair. The gap
of influence between male venture capitalists and female entrepreneurs is
frightening and I hate that my behavior played a role in perpetrating a
gender-hostile environment. It is outrageous and unethical for any person to
leverage a position of power in exchange for sexual gain, it is clear to me
now that that is exactly what I've done.

I am deeply ashamed of my lack of self-awareness. I am grateful to Niniane,
Susan, Leiti, and the other women who spoke up for providing me with a
sobering look into my own character and behavior that I can no longer ignore.
The dynamic of this industry makes it hard to speak up, but this is the type
of action that leads to progress and change, starting with me.

I will be taking an indefinite leave of absence from Binary Capital, the firm
I co-founded in 2014. I will be seeking professional counseling as I take
steps to reflect on my behavior with and attitude towards women. I will find
ways to learn from this difficult experience - and to help drive necessary
changes in the broader venture community.

The Binary team will also be taking measures to ensure that the firm is a safe
place for founders of all backgrounds to find the support and resources they
need to change the world, without abuse of power or mistreatment of any
person.

I owe a heartfelt apology to my family, my investors, my portfolio, and the
team at Binary, who have been completely blindsided and in no way deserve the
pain I've caused. But most of all I apologize again to those who I've hurt
during the course of my career - and for the damage I've done to the industry
I care so deeply about."

[https://www.axios.com/justin-caldbeck-takes-indefinite-
leave...](https://www.axios.com/justin-caldbeck-takes-indefinite-leave-of-
absence-from-binary-capital-2446988189.html)

~~~
tptacek
Compare with his firm's statement:

 _Binary issued a statement that said the notion Mr. Caldbeck had “engaged in
improper behavior with female entrepreneurs” was “false.” Binary said that
while The Information had “found a few examples which show that Justin has in
the past occasionally dated or flirted with women he met in a professional
capacity, let’s be clear: there is no evidence that Justin did anything
illegal and there is no evidence that any of his investing decisions were
affected by his social interest._

~~~
metellus
This statement is much more in line with Caldbeck's initial statement:

> Obviously, I am deeply disturbed by these allegations. While significant
> context is missing from the incidents reported by The Information, I deeply
> regret ever causing anyone to feel uncomfortable. The fact is that I have
> been privileged to have worked with female entrepreneurs throughout my
> career and I sincerely apologize to anyone who I made uncomfortable by my
> actions. There’s no denying this is an issue in the venture community, and I
> hate that my behavior has contributed to it.

I wouldn't be surprised if Binary released an updated statement in light of
this new apology and indefinite leave.

~~~
tptacek
Caldbeck appears to have contradicted the firm's claim, harming their own
credibility.

~~~
vkou
The firm claims he didn't do anything illegal.

He hasn't copped up to the assaults, and since they were not employees, the
texts may not necessarily have been illegal.

Not entirely contradictory.

~~~
tptacek
Their statement says that any claims or reports that Caldbeck did anything
"inappropriate" with women were "false". That ship sailed with Caldbeck's most
recent statement.

~~~
vkou
Oh! Sorry - I missed that part at the beginning.

------
ryguytilidie
This guy had to do SO MUCH bad shit before he was finally called out and I
think it speaks to a major problem with Silicon Valley.

I've been working with startups since 2011 and in that time I've seen:

-A Head of HR who gave promotions to his employees based on sexual favors given. This person happened to be friends with the CEO and employees got in trouble for reporting him.

-A founder and dealing with the above situation and doing an "investigation" that ended with nothing.

-The same founder referring the employees who were fired to their friends dumpster fire of a company so they could get a referral bonus.

-A founder I worked with belittled women, all of their female developers left after a few months. I wrote a glassdoor review and was repeatedly threatened by said founder.

-Worked with a founder who has repeatedly been accused of sexual harassment to the point where there are multiple articles about it. Same founder hooked up with multiple younger female employees while on coke in another country on a company trip. During a round of layoffs, the women saved were the women sleeping with executives (there were 4!!!). Still CEO obv.

-Finally, at larger companies with multiple younger founders I've seen wayyyy too many situations where male boss puts female employee in awkward situations, whether its an arm around them in the hot tub or extreme extra attention over male employees.

Each time I thought about pointing out this behavior, there was some sort of
threat/warning about shutting up and letting it happen, often followed by
actual legal threats. Watch who you work with...

~~~
awkwarddaturtle
People don't know what an absolute greedy cesspool silicon valley is. It's
money. It's human nature.

------
zabana
At the risk of sounding like I'm defending the guy (which I'm not), do we have
a comprehensive definition of "Sexual Assault and Harassement" ? Because in
some places (northern europe for example) these terms have very volatile
definitions which allows pretty much anything to fall under the "rape"
category. I totally understand that repeatedly violating somebody's physical
safe space is a form a sexual assault (grabbing someone's butt etc) but I'm
not sure if bad jokes and misplaced remarks (however annoying) qualify as
such. (Not trying to start a war here, I'm geniunly asking).

~~~
URSpider94
In the USA, "sexual harassment" is generally defined as behavior or words of a
sexual nature that make a person feel uncomfortable. Examples could range from
an extreme of physical assault or offering a quid-pro-quo to keep ones job or
get a promotion, all the way to telling lewd jokes or stories within earshot
of a third party, or making comments or compliments about someone's dress or
appearance (even telling a co-worker "you look lovely today" every morning).

~~~
qubex
In Italy we comment and compliment (or criticise) each other's attire
regularly. It's widely known (for example) that I abhor exposed feet and will
therefore call out and/or criticize sandals, flip-flops, or peep-toe shoes.
Female workers do this to make workers, male workers do this to female
workers. We successfully share same-sex toilets if the need arises. The
regimented gender-divided situation the US seems to subtend is utterly alien
to me and seems to be far more awkward than you realize.

~~~
LeeHwang
Don't let these silicon valley stories fool you. Blame extremists and people
who exploit gender relations for money. Most americans are decent people who
do the exact type of behavior you mention, and its not a problem.

Big money leads to terrible behavior due to power differences. Men AND Women
willing to take advantage of less powerful people. I have a female friend who
was sexually harrassed by a female VC, and again the same dynamics played out.
Its not about gender but primal human desires and power.

~~~
qubex
I'm amused by the the apparent controversy of my original post (as measured by
the fairly broad swings in net upvotes/downvotes). Apparently the apparent
common sense I voiced therein doesn't gel with the silent majority quite as
much as I'd be comfortable with.

------
go42
If someone is accused of sexual assault, a police report should be filed. If
he's hitting on women in inappropriate and aggressive ways, then he deserves
to be villified but without details it's hard to understand what he did.

I lost my job and got involved in a complex legal matter trying to defend
girls from a predatory person. Most people simply do not care, and will avoid
getting involved at all costs.

------
philip1209
Reid Hoffman wrote an essay prompted by this, calling for building an
"industry-wide HR function" for VC:

[https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/human-rights-women-
entreprene...](https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/human-rights-women-
entrepreneurs-reid-hoffman)

~~~
tootie
Is that like some sort of corporate police? That's actually not a bad idea.
Like every sort of harassment claim goes to an independent agency to be
evaluated and investigated. Any business who wants credibility with their
employees pays some dues to that agency and agrees to abide their decisions.

~~~
ntsplnkv2
Almost like, the police?

The law should be handling sexual harassment. The reasons why we have these
issues with companies is because there's a conflict of interest. The police
are a third party and have no interest in the success/failure of the company,
ideally.

~~~
nbouscal
> The law should be handling sexual harassment.

I think people on both sides of this issue would love it if the law showed
itself capable of handling sexual harassment cases. Unfortunately we have way
too much evidence that that just isn't the case. The obvious example that
comes to mind is Brock Turner getting three months, and that's in the best
case where someone is actually convicted. Far too often it never gets to that
point, not because the harassment/assault didn't occur, but because the legal
system is so utterly shit at handling it. The 'outragism' that so many people
decry only exists in the first place because every system that is supposed to
prevent or punish these acts has failed so completely.

~~~
ntsplnkv2
And we have even MORE evidence that companies ALWAYS mishandle these cases
with BLATANT conflicts of interest.

You're basically arguing that companies should become their own units of law
enforcement with their own punishments as they see fit, with no oversight.
That is clearly not going to work. It clearly hasn't.

If the law is unfair, we have the power to change that law. Exceptions always
exist but we can not make laws on exceptions. Meanwhile companies continue to
allow harassment on a daily basis, Look at Fox News. Multiple cases. Imagine
in other corporations?

~~~
nbouscal
I'm arguing nothing of the sort. While it probably feels good to strawman
everyone who disagrees with you, it certainly isn't helping you persuade
anyone, nor is it allowing you to learn from other perspectives.

While we may theoretically have the power to change the way law enforcement
works on these issues, doing so would be dramatically more difficult than
making marginal improvements within the industry itself. We shouldn't let the
perfect be the enemy of the good.

~~~
ntsplnkv2
Please do without the smug BS first paragraph next time. Try forming a real
argument instead. Thanks.

Industry has never gotten this right. How long until we finally see that the
company trying to avoid bad PR and make money doesn't have conflicts of
interest with these victims?

I've seen too many companies turn blind eyes to terrible workplace
environments because the perpetrator "makes too many sales." or is "too
important." It's always going to be a conflict of interest.

My advice to anyone is: collect evidence, quit, and file a lawsuit. Any other
internal method will lead to even more abuse and fear.

------
jondubois
The apology is well crafted - Pulitzer Prize material but it doesn't seem
connected to reality. Maybe it's even a little over the top; it's hard to
believe that someone who could behave like this could experience such profound
feelings of remorse. It sounds like he is sorry for being caught.

~~~
qubex
This can be leveled at pretty much any coherent, cogent apology issued after a
misdeed has been detected. I'm not saying you're wrong, but some risk of
hypocrisy is always inherent in the act of apologising. That's why in the main
we're wary of them.

------
tabeth
In these situations how are things actually proved? Is it just a "he said, she
said" situation? In any case, it's a bold move to go on record, though I'm
curious what difference it actually makes.

EDIT: Ah, it seems going on record is necessary to actually bring charges to
someone.

~~~
drewrv
In this case it's more of a "he said, she said, she said, she said, she said,
she said, she said".

~~~
sillysaurus3
When it involves rich or powerful people, the ability to get many she-said's
becomes easier.

I know this is an unpopular opinion, but due process exists for a reason. We
should reserve judgement until the investigation progresses further.

~~~
niniane
I am one of the three women who went on the record: Niniane Wang. I'm one of
the "she-said"s.

I have nothing to gain from this. I am not suing. I'm founder & CEO of a
Greylock-funded startup. Thankfully Greylock has come out in full support, but
I didn't know that beforehand and was very nervous when I decided to do the
article. The only way that any reporter would agree to publish was if I used
my real name. I knew Justin was continuing to harass women, and this was the
only way to stop him.

sillysaurus3, you may be thinking of cases where women go to accuse a "rich or
powerful" person and are trying to get something out of it. I had nothing to
gain and a lot to lose.

~~~
danbolt
I think you're pretty courageous, much more than I am, as the potential
backlash could result in your startup failing.

~~~
lancewiggs
Would you rather invest in a start-up led by a non-courageous founder?

~~~
danbolt
You need courage to found a startup, but I don't think you always need courage
to make a profitable business.

------
vonnik
This article is a bit outdated. Caldbeck has since published a second
statement and stepped down from the firm:

[https://www.recode.net/2017/6/23/15865422/justin-caldbeck-
le...](https://www.recode.net/2017/6/23/15865422/justin-caldbeck-leave-
absence-sexual-harassment-binary-capital-investment-firm)

------
davidu
This is disgusting, pathetic, and predatory.

It also has a long-term chilling effect on women in technology and
entrepreneurship.

I am surprised by the lack of outrage over this behavior.

~~~
iagreeentirely
At the moment it's allegations. The outrage should come after evidence is
uncovered.

Not that it will matter in the end. Recent events have shown that you can flat
out admit to drugging women in order to have sex with them and still be
acquitted if you have adequate stature and fame. (Ok, I should be more fair. A
mistrial is not an acquittal.)

~~~
ithinkinstereo
The Axios article ([https://www.axios.com/pro-
rata-2446752020.html](https://www.axios.com/pro-rata-2446752020.html)) details
a long history of sketchy behavior. In addition to the three accusers:

\- While at lightspeed, accusations from a female founder at a portfolio
company was serious enough that the _" situation rose to the broader board
level, with the ultimate resolution resulting in non-disclosure agreements on
all sides."_

\- While at Bain Ventures, a female founder accused Justin of inviting him
over to his hotel room to "finish the conversation" even knowing she had a BF
(not that being single would make it at all appropriate).

\- Two other female founders with similar stories that don't want to go on the
record

I also think it's worthy to note that all his (public) accusers are asian, as
is his wife.

Occam's razer...

~~~
Bartweiss
Even more relevant: [https://www.axios.com/justin-caldbeck-takes-indefinite-
leave...](https://www.axios.com/justin-caldbeck-takes-indefinite-leave-of-
absence-from-binary-capital-2446988189.html)

Caldbeck has apologized, taken leave, and did not contest any of the claims.

~~~
iagreeentirely
None of which was yet true when I posted. Now is the time for outrage, as
evidence has been presented (In the form of confession).

------
anotherfounder
I really wish other founders would name and shame more, even if anonymously,
but with examples. For most of the female founders who face these, there is no
resource to turn to, to know who to avoid.

~~~
DelaneyM
Honestly, it wouldn't make a difference.

Some VCs are sleazy, but their money's still green. I know with certainty of
at least two firms with predatory/creepy partners, but that wouldn't stop me
from including them in a round.

This behaviour is inappropriate, but it's not nearly as bad as what we learn
to fend off at the average final club/frat party.

~~~
dennisgorelik
> their money's still green

VCs do not invest their own money. Instead they invest money of their limited
partners.

If limited partners learn that their investments are used to fund VC's love
life - they would be furious and likely to withdraw their money.

~~~
hueving
Not if it provides good returns. People still own stock in Phillip Morris.

~~~
dennisgorelik
Why would chasing love affairs provide good returns on investment?

------
monicaxie
I met Justin Calback one week before the news exploded. I was so shocked, even
though I have not (yet?) had awkward experience with Justin (he has actually
has been pretty helpful).

Throughout my work on both sides of the table, I’ve been lucky to have met
many very helpful and respected mentors/peers, however, this “risk of
networking for female” has never been strange. It started with this: I reached
out to someone for advice/business, meetings went great and constructive, a
couple of emails and coffee, before I got excited about having a great
connection, they may ask for a drink. At first, I was confused but agreed,
wondering if this is the “valley/American culture” that I should get used to,
then things unexpectedly turned awkward even if I tried to keep the
conversations professional. Eventually, I don’t know how to maintain this
connection.

Now that I’ve learned to “keep things professional”, but compared to my male
friends’ networking experience, I still haven’t figured out the best boundary
to set. Does “being professional” mean that I can’t have personal talks with
male professionals? If a guy can be both professional connection and personal
friend with another guy, why can’t I? I thought that only Asian people mix
business and personal connections (given how popular wechat has been used as a
“virtual business card” in China), turns out that in US, it’s not that
different: you see male investors get drinks to catch up or meet new friends,
afterwards they become good business partners.

I believe this is not the first time a female talk about this. Many people’s
reaction may be: oh she must have given some hint that caused
misunderstanding, or, when a guy does that, just stay away from him.

Hey, what if an attractive lady got into this uncomfortable situation from 1/3
of her networking?

I’m not here to complain. I’m sincerely hoping to hear some advice on how to
best handle this networking difficulty, because as far as I know, I’m not
alone.

------
idibidiart
Silicon Valley is toxic until sexism, agism, racism, and homophobia are
largely eliminated. Only then will it be a model for the world tech hubs to
follow.

~~~
hnnsj
Out of curiosity (I've never been to Silicon Valley, let alone worked there),
are other tech hubs, or even other industries, that much better?

~~~
graphememes
No. Honestly Silicon Valley is heavily a "social club" where people of the
same type group together just like high school, because many of them never
grew out of highschool.

Diversity is a joke to be honest.

Go to any company, any single company, especially the ones that tout
"diversity" it's all the same individual with the same "thought processes"
with no actual diversity.

Many hire people who think the same exact way re-skinned or same-gendered.

One company that is about a block away that touts diversity is all liberal
ideologues that spout the most racist and deflating things about everything.
It's a very toxic environment for anyone who doesn't align with their ideology
or beliefs. All of the individuals in the group have the same style. Can never
tell them apart. All the same race. Yet on their twitter, jobs, facebook and
even here they tout "Diversity! Friendly Co-Workers!"

I've seen more diversity in companies that don't care about diversity or tout
diversity.

Sexual harassment and harassment happens more often at these companies, people
who are being harassed and bullied about different things don't speak up. Most
of the time it isn't women.

I've been bullied by women before because a candidate wasn't female. I've been
bullied by men before because a candidate was female or looked weak
(physically). I've heard people bully for stutters, skin color, age, race,
gender, everything.

I don't care about that. I care about two things: Do you lift others up
despite differences while resolving conflicts, and can you get the job done?
Following these two, I've gutted these toxic behaviors (bullying,
antagonistic, sexual harassment) from multiple companies and it's refreshing.

It's completely out of control to be honest, it's becoming very toxic and
demeaning toward specific races and genders (not just men).

------
khazhou
"Prominent" seems like a stretch. Never heard of him.

------
sqldba
It's so hard to imagine how this kind of thing goes on. I've worked in small
and large companies in Australia and (in those places) nobody could get away
with messing with female staff.

So it drives me crazy to hear people getting away with it. It makes the world
look majority bad - instead of minority bad.

------
limeblack
As someone who had 3 male teachers in middle and high school fired because of
sexual commments I'm still not sure how to respond to stuff like this. I'm
always concerned how someones carrier might be altered considering someone
could be lying.

~~~
cortesoft
Well if you see his statement, they weren't lying.

------
hellofunk
The show Halt and Catch Fire dealt with this problem in the VC industry. It's
been going on awhile and is certainly not limited to Caldbeck.

------
Svexar
Binary Capital: You either get it or you don't

------
Anonymous888
Binary Capital is a sleazy VC, no ifs ands or buts about it.

The valley is really small, and I've heard horrific stories of what this firm
has done to their employees and founders. This includes Jonathon Teo as well.

This really is just the tip of the iceberg for Binary Capital. I wouldn't take
any investments from them ever.

~~~
ericvorheese
You really need to back up your assertions with concrete examples. Or you'll
just be ignored.

~~~
Anonymous888
I understand, and being ignored is okay. If someone affected by them sees
this, they may feel empowered to step forward. I'd feel wrong putting names,
situations, etc. out there, but the fact of the matter is, this isn't the end
of this drama.

~~~
shostack
>"I'd feel wrong putting names, situations, etc. out there"

Isn't that what you just did with Jonathon Teo though?

~~~
Anonymous888
I mean of the victims...

------
V-eHGsd_
from the pando article this references:

> We are now in a post-Susan Fowler world,

I think I know what the author was trying to say, but that's a really weird
way to say it. Susan is most definitely still alive and well. Susan wasn't an
event, like 9/11\. she is a woman with a lot of courage who wrote about a
series of terrible things that happened to her.

~~~
refurb
By putting the word "post-" in front of something, it makes the author sound
smart. That's why they do it.

~~~
Bakary
I honestly think this is the real thought process behind things like these,
even though it sounds a little cheeky.

~~~
jikeo
They said on _hacker_ news.

Personally I don't really see the problem. If you want to argue for a
different state of things after some event, "post" seem like the correct word.
Just like you would say "post war period". You might of course think that the
statement itself is pretentious. But at least they argue their case, i.e the
importance of her actions, in the article.

~~~
V-eHGsd_
right. I don't think it's pretentious per-se, I just think it's really odd,
like from a literary, use-of-the-english-language perspective.

anyway, I just saw on the news that the serial-assaulter resigned, or has
decided to take a travis (a leave of absence followed by a resignation), so
that's a good thing.

------
radicalbyte
One of the girls interviewed on Startup Podcast mentioned that a VC
propositioned her; like these girls she was Asian. I wonder if this guy is the
same alleged pervert?

~~~
_RPM
All of his victims are Asian in this case.

~~~
ithinkinstereo
As is his wife.

------
ganoushoreilly
_is the last thing you want as a founder_

~~~
coldtea
Because men founders deal with sexual harassment (that they don't cause to
others) often?

~~~
gizmo686
That is not the point. There are two ways to view the problem: it is either a
women's problem, or a people problem that dissproportionantly affects women.
By framing it as a womens problem, you are turning it into an issue of
identity politics, with all the pros and cons that come with it. (eg, stronger
solidarity from the in-group, at the expanse of alienating the out-group, as
well as the growing backlash to identity politics in general.)

Also, even if relativly rare, we do not want to needlessly ignore male
victims.

~~~
bobabooey02
Speaking of one group is not ignoring the other. Nobody said that sexual
harassment against men is okay. It's okay to recognize that social norms
affect the genders asymmetrically and structure language around that.

~~~
FT_intern
Engaging in identity politics opens up pandora's box :).

Men have a more difficult time obtaining social, emotional and physical
intimacy with other people (in both romantic and platonic contexts). For the
purely romantic context, there is a huge disparity in the required effort to
obtain intimacy in a romantic relationship.

Women can obtain intimacy and have a very successful romantic life without
making any advances at all. A man will have a very unsuccessful romantic life
if he never makes any advances.

Society fails men on the social/physical/emotional intimacy front.

These are natural, primal needs have huge consequences on happiness. This lack
of intimacy naturally causes men to seek intimacy in sometimes inappropriate
contexts and situations.

Since a large cause of the behavior is the failing of society, it may be
prudent to give higher leniency to men for these situations. The intimacy gap
should at least be acknowledged whenever identity politics are brought up in
these situations.

~~~
johnny22
> A man will have a very unsuccessful romantic life if he never makes any
> advances.

#NotAllMen But seriously. I'd like to talk more about this in a different
setting. This sentiment rang true for me before I got out of high school.
After that, it mattered much less.

> Society fails men on the social/physical/emotional intimacy front.

We failed ourselves. This article rang all too true.
[https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-the-
lac...](https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-the-lack-of-
gentle-platonic-touch-in-mens-lives-is-a-killer/)

------
randyrand
I wish we treated all people that harass others and make other people feel
uncomfortable or unsafe this way.

Sexual harassment is just the tip of the iceberg. There are a lot of behaviors
that need correcting. Especially in men.

------
gorbachev
"While significant context is missing from the incidents reported by The
Information, I deeply regret ever causing anyone to feel uncomfortable."

I wonder what kind of significant context was missing? They asked for it?

/sarcasm

~~~
snvzz
Apologising. A classic mistake. What's possibly just a display of good will is
going to get abused as admission of guilt.

~~~
gorbachev
This apology translates to:

"I think they're full of shit, but I apologize anyway"

~~~
ithinkinstereo
No, thats not at all how his apology translates.

This is his statement in full:

 _Obviously, I am deeply disturbed by these allegations. While significant
context is missing from the incidents reported by The Information, I deeply
regret ever causing anyone to feel uncomfortable. The fact is that I have been
privileged to have worked with female entrepreneurs throughout my career and I
sincerely apologize to anyone who I made uncomfortable by my actions. There’s
no denying this is an issue in the venture community, and I hate that my
behavior has contributed to it._

How do you get "I think they're full of shit" out of that? This reads to me
like a tacit admission that if anything else, his behavior is inappropriate
and sketchy by any conventional sense. Appropriate _and_ professional behavior
does not need "significant context" to back it up.

~~~
Bartweiss
He's made a larger statement since, including:

 _" I have made many mistakes over the course of my career, some of which were
brought to light this week. To say I'm sorry about my behavior is a
categorical understatement. Still, I need to say it: I am so, so sorry." ...
"I will be seeking professional counseling as I take steps to reflect on my
behavior with and attitude towards women."_

That's about as far as a person can go without making an admissible
confession, and seems to clear up basically all doubt.

------
solotronics
Serious question, does free speech apply in these situations? You have the
unalienable right to speak your mind and some people may be offended but that
is not illegal. I totally understand if you are employed by someone you can't
easily get away if you are made uncomfortable but this is entirely a voluntary
situation.

Also, if you really think about it making something that makes someone
uncomfortable illegal is weird. So by the same logic I should be able to sue
my employer if he farts too much or is annoying in general?

~~~
xenadu02
The canonical example of the limits of free speech: You can't yell "fire!" in
a crowded theater.

Similarly, you can't run toward someone screaming, pull back like you're going
to throw a punch, then claim innocence when charged with assault. There are
numerous court cases that draw various lines. Courts have recognized people
sometimes say "I'll kill you" but without any actual intent. They also
recognize sometimes threats are veiled and spoken in coded language to give
the superficial appearance of acceptability... but the threats are just as
real as pulling back in a punching motion.

Much sexual harassment falls into the latter category. Rarely to abusers (male
or female) come right out and say "sleep with me or you're fired / I'll tank
your funding round / I'll call your loan", though that does happen. By far the
most common case is subtle suggestions or inferences that things will be
easier for you if you go along with it.

In general it is best to avoid anything that appears romantic whenever there
is a power imbalance. As a VC, you shouldn't be hitting on founders. If you
think there is mutual attraction there then send that person to a friend at a
different VC or wait for the funding rounds to close and assign the company to
a different partner. Even then it is risky - the target of your affection may
feel like they need to play along or you'll start bad-mouthing them and it
will crush their business. When the target of your affection says "Sorry, I
have a partner / boyfriend / girlfriend" it is a very clear signal they are
not interested.

Even better advice is: don't. There is a wide pool of potential partners. Why
are you so desperate to find a pickup among your founders / subordinates?
Hint: usually because you're taking advantage of them! In this case the most
likely explanation is the guy wanted to have some affairs and thought hooking
up with founders would be an easy score. What those women thought or felt was
entirely beneath his notice.

~~~
pbhjpbhj
[Responding to your comment in isolation.]

As you're talking about legal things I feel a degree more pedantry is needed.
You _can_ yell "fire!" but not without an expectation of subsequent
deleterious consequences. You have the freedom to speak, you don't have the
freedom from consequences of that speech.

>When the target of your affection says "Sorry, I have a partner / boyfriend /
girlfriend" it is a very clear signal they are not interested. //

I'd say that is "somewhat clear"; it's still relying on implicit
communication. Far better IMO would be "I'm not interested in a
romantic/intimate/sexual relationship with you.". Just saying you have a
partner is not as clear; maybe your'e the sort that hops around, or has an
open relationship or is turned on by infidelity; if a person thinks you're
flirting with them but they mention a current sexual partner you might imagine
that you're just being warned to keep things clandestine or being told to
compete.

>most likely explanation //

I imagine the most likely explanation was that he was attracted to them, they
mirrored his attraction and it went on from there without any thought from him
that they were doing it in order to win/not_lose business positioning.

~~~
PhasmaFelis
> _I 'd say that is "somewhat clear"; it's still relying on implicit
> communication. Far better IMO would be "I'm not interested in a
> romantic/intimate/sexual relationship with you.". Just saying you have a
> partner is not as clear; maybe your'e the sort that hops around, or has an
> open relationship or is turned on by infidelity; if a person thinks you're
> flirting with them but they mention a current sexual partner you might
> imagine that you're just being warned to keep things clandestine or being
> told to compete._

If you hit on someone, and they respond "I have a boyfriend" full stop, then
unless they're taking their clothes off as they say it, there is _zero_ chance
that they mean _anything_ but "I am not interested in your advances."

And, frankly, there's no reason to tell yourself otherwise unless you're
planning on sexually harassing that person.

