
'LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site' Should Users Be Trying to Find Love on LinkedIn? - ericzass
https://dot.la/linkedin-dating-2647633047.html
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anm89
Some people are going to find this to be very obnoxious. Some people are going
to be fine with it conditional on how it's done. If you are okay pissing off
group A and suffering those consequences to find group B then go for it. If
you aren't then don't. Pretty simple.

Why does every public projection of an opinion need to be accompanied by some
absolutist division of all of humanity into Team Right and Team Wrong.

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jenkstom
When an attractive woman that I don't know sends me a link request on LinkedIn
it's kind of obvious that she's trying to sell me _something_. It's been
everything from companionship to printer supplies to headhunting, but it's no
different than any other platform. I know the article is about women being
approached by men, but it happens the other way around as well.

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bmarquez
> but it happens the other way around as well

Yeah women do this as well, leveraging their looks, and the HN commenters
referring to incels and predators are missing this quote from the article:

'House says overtures on the app are often a two-way street. "I have a lot of
female clients who reach out to men to date on LinkedIn," she added. "They
think a guy is really hot and maybe they can get a job or maybe a date."'

~~~
d23
Never happened to me. Must not be true.

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snicker7
LinkedIn is leaving money on the table by /not/ offering a dating service.

They could use an approach similar to Facebook, wherein there is only a
notification of there is mutual interest.

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thetechimist
The first problem on LinkedIn is that many people have to be on it to earn a
living or show their team spirit for work. If we could all find employment and
network without LinkedIn better than with it, 90% of us would.

So when someone is hitting on someone using LinkedIn, that person is the
societal equivalent of the jerk who hits on a waitress at her job. She has no
choice but to be nice to you and tolerate your “smooth” lines because she’s a
prisoner. She can’t leave easily and the jerk might be an important customer
of the business. Even if the jerk is being coy about it (likely for the
purposes of plausible deniability later), it’s incredibly awkward and
disrespectful to the waitress.

This is no different than a female client flirting with a male financial
advisor putting him in the awkward position as well.

Both are jerks. And while these are common stereotypical situations, there
exist with the roles reversed too. Ask any male bartender. It’s awful and a
real impediment to security in their relationship when every other night, some
lady implies she’s available to him.

The second and bigger problem with LinkedIn are all the idiots who think it’s
an extension of their social media. They pontificate on political events, give
condescending lessons on life, share way too much about their personal life
(nobody cares about your daily wins), and use #hashtags so #frequently that is
#impossible to #read their #posts, not that they worth reading anyway.

It seems no matter what you do to purge yourself of these fools in your
“professional network”, you’ve always got a few saps that end up liking their
posts and so that Instagram-like garbage shows up anyway. You have to
constantly tell LinkedIn you’re not interested, or just keep your network to a
low high-quality number of people that are too busy working to play with their
phones.

When I get a connection request, even if it looks like a promising industry
connection, I check their activity history. If they’re on LinkedIn liking and
posting things every week, then it’s a no go. You’d better be worth a cool
$100 million for me to make an exception.

My feed is my feed. I follow companies to keep track of my industry. If you
are cluttering that up with your sappy posts, even if I agree with you, you’re
gone.

Unless you’re my boss, in which case, my hatred runs deep. I can’t even
unfollow you because you are the kind of LinkedIn Loser who checks for
mismatches on connections verses followers. So yes, much deep hatred.

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rafaelvasco
There is the problem of predatory approaches to women in social networks of
course.

But I feel most women automatically take any messages from men declaring their
affection, be it genuine or not, in a pretty negative way by default.

I get it's a protective natural reaction, but it can be harmful. If you're a
woman, and you take this too seriously and in a negative way, suddenly you
start thinking all men are mindless jerks. I've seen it. It's all about the
choice of words.

If I were a woman, and a stranger sent me an email out of the blue, but was
educated and chose his words well, I wouldn't care at all. In fact I would
seek him out so that we get to know each other better.

If not I would simply ignore it. Of course this can be hard if you get
bombarded with hundreds of messages, and emails and stuff.

But I would try not to be dismissive and view it in a negative way by default.
People live in a defensive state always, and that is really harmful.

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BobbyJo
This is kind of ignorant of the fact that the defensive state is a reaction to
harmful behavior. You're placing the burden of 'dealing with it' on the
passive participant, when it belongs to the active party. If you can't stand
the 'harm' of a negative reaction to picking a girl up on LinkedIn, then don't
do it. They, unfortunately, don't get the option to avoid it before it
happens.

Secondly, as a LinkedIn user, there is a reasonable expectation that
communication in the platform will be professional. The platform's value
proposition is grounded in this expectation as a sort of social contract.
Sometimes people are ok with others defying said social contract, but you
should assume they won't be.

~~~
bobwernstein
picking up a girl on linkedin only works if you approach in a professional way
anyway. The chances for a coffee meeting is 100x higher if you suggest
discussing some mutual professional interests (fake it if you must) then just
saying '' do you want to go on a date with me''. Then if you like each other
you will notice the sparks flying. If not you now have networked
professionaly. win win

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ncmncm
At least have a look at the petroleum company recruiters.

Explain that.

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birdyrooster
Short answer: No

Long answer is for incels to explain their ideology

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tschwimmer
Betteridge's law of headlines[0] strikes again!

[0][https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betteridge%27s_law_of_headline...](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betteridge%27s_law_of_headlines)

