
Your kids will see internet porn. Deal with it. - mcone
https://www.wired.com/2017/08/kids-and-porn/
======
Torgo
>We know these things are fake, that’s not the way the two people really
interact. Kids have to be able to contextualize, to deconstruct it. Just like
they need to do with other forms of media.

This is ascribing far too much agency to children. Adults have difficulty with
this.

------
DeathRabbit
Harrumph. In my day, we found our porn tucked under mattresses, out in the
woods, behind a wood panel in a shed, etc.

I feel like I should be hiding USB drives full of rather tame Playboy PDFs in
the same places, maybe throw in a stray Hustler or Penthouse once in a while.

------
EADGBE
I love the stance many take on partaking in the activity. Like the first
second of engagement will forever ruin their sexuality towards real human
beings.

It's possible to separate reality from fantasy.

~~~
aphantasiac
> It's possible to separate reality from fantasy.

I didn't realize until I was 17 year old that most people have an ability to
"fantasize". That was a long time ago now, and I'm still imaginatively-
challenged. I hope to have it figured out soon.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphantasia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphantasia)

If I'd been able to fantasize, I certainly wouldn't have lost countless hours
to looking at women on the internet. I've got over the compulsion about 6
months, even though I still don't have an imagination.

I suspect that the proper way to inoculate children against internet porn is
to tell them mater-of-fact how reproduction works before they hit puberty, and
help them develop their inner 'fantasy' world.

~~~
EADGBE
Coming from someone who lives in their own imagination most of the time, I
feel a bit of pity for you; yet at the same time I am extremely jealous of
your ability to reason with reality.

For an anti-aphantasiac, the obsession was mostly short-lived in the beginning
stages of puberty. There's still plenty to do and obsess about as a pubescent
child. My run-ins and conversations with teenage boys and girls are still
quite normal, considering they have such an immense resource to gather these
tidbits from - they conduct themselves quite normally and with poise. Perhaps
there's a line drawn at obsessing for hours over something similar to the
topic in question, but as far as I know the majority of partakers use it for
what it is - and move on, similar to pre-internet sources.

Regarding children, you may have a good point, but consider when you think is
a good time to start talking; because in my experience the kids already know
well enough about the topic through word-of-mouth, even before puberty starts
to take hold of hormones.

------
ekanes
A better title might be, "Your kids will see internet porn. HOW TO deal with
it."

------
eighthnate
Isn't wired highly pro-censorship when it comes to offensive speech?

Why should people "deal with" porn on the internet and yet the internet should
be scrubbed of "offensive" speech?

Maybe I'm mistaken about wired being pro-censorship. But people seem to
cherrypick what they find offensive and what should be censored.

------
dorian-graph
Related: [http://fightthenewdrug.org/](http://fightthenewdrug.org/)

> Fight the New Drug exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an
> informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful
> effects using only science, facts, and personal accounts.

------
egberts1
LOL. Gotta be a tech dad to block porn.

------
bobsgame
I predict this is going to cause tremendous social problems in the upcoming
decades.

~~~
jbob2000
We're already seeing the problems. The Alt-right was breeding in forums where
single frustrated men were going to vent. _Why_ they are single and frustrated
is something to be studied, but if you read some of their posts, it's really
clear that they have expectations for relationships that come straight out of
porn: submissiveness and insatiability.

~~~
FullMtlAlcoholc
Those threads and /r/TheRedPill are disturbing. They feel insulted that women
are choosing other partners over them, as if a stable income is all that is
necessary to be entitled to the girl of your choice.

When their socially inept advances are rebuffed, blame is cast on the media
and on a feminist cabal agenda to emasculate men. Instead of trying to connect
on a human level or looking in the mirror at what might need improving,
society becomes the problem.

~~~
JamesBarney
Men have been sexually frustrated for centuries. The only thing that's new is
that the internet exists so all the sexually frustrated men can sit around and
complain together.

~~~
FullMtlAlcoholc
That's a huge difference. In communities there's validation of your view

------
makecheck
I wish parents would solve the general problem: your kids will
$EXPERIENCE_LIFE, therefore educate/encourage/sometimes-protect/whatever as
appropriate instead of defaulting to “hell no” and “protect kids from
everything in existence” (as parents today seem to do).

Excess time is devoted to certain hot topics such as porn/sex and it’s
ridiculous, especially when it means not spending any time _at all_ on dozens
of other things that are also important for children. “Gee, little Jimmy is an
absolute terror and doesn’t even know how to make himself a sandwich but at
least he hasn’t seen any porn! (And he still has.)”

And to be blunt, parents need to stop being children. You’re supposed to be
helping a child to become an adult, and if all we’re worried about is how much
trouble _the parent_ is having then what is happening to the child?

~~~
csense
I think one of the causes of poor parenting is that families are more spread
out, people are more isolated in general, and you have fewer children.

Back in the day when people had 3, 4, 5 kids, a lot of folks would remember
younger siblings. If most of your parents' siblings all lived in the same
town, you'd have lots of younger cousins, and see them often. If you went to
church and were active in the community, you'd get to know a lot of parents
and children all over town.

All this exposure to your family's kids, other people's kids and other
people's parenting styles would give people a basic education in what to do,
and what _not_ to do, by example.

Personally, I've reached my current age without ever having to babysit or
change a diaper. I don't know a thing about the practicalities of parenting. A
lot of people are probably in the same boat.

So it makes sense that some parents would be at a total loss and make poor
decisions.

~~~
EADGBE
Having more children just gives higher probability to those children
experiencing things without supervision or narrative (The concept of being
outnumbered - which is TOTALLY a real thing and something you don't even
really consider going from 2 to 3+ children). I think that has more sway in
this than isolation and familial sprawl.

> Personally, I've reached my current age without ever having to babysit or
> change a diaper.

Congrats.

> I don't know a thing about the practicalities of parenting. A lot of people
> are probably in the same boat.

Don't worry, it's a learned skill. No matter what bookstores tell you, it
doesn't come with a manual.

