
Ask HN: My company has been acquired and I'm kicked out. What should I do now? - throwaway487
Hello HN!<p>Let me give you some background info:<p>- I&#x27;m 29 years old, computer science graduate. 
- I founded two startups. First one failed after 4 years. The second one was acquired 3 months ago but do not take it as a success. We had to sold it to one of our competitors at a price of one tenth of the our series A valuation. Basically, things go bad so fast, it was our best option. I&#x27;ve left the company as a part of the deal.
- In both of the companies I&#x27;ve founded, I had to wear too many hats. As a result, I have not excelled in any particular skill, rather I&#x27;ve gained medium level of experience in variety of skills from development to product design to finance. 
- As a result of the recent acquisition I&#x27;ve some money in my bank account which can cover my expenses for a year from now. 
- I was mentally exhausted, so I decided to keep things slow for a while and that&#x27;s why I&#x27;ve not been doing anything for the last three months. 
- Doing nothing made things worse, since I&#x27;m constantly thinking about my future and I can not find anything that I want to do.
- I&#x27;ve decided to apply for some jobs but I&#x27;m not sure which position I may fit in. 
- I&#x27;m feeling like a huge failure.<p>What should I do with my life now? Has someone in here ever experienced something like this before? I&#x27;m open to any suggestions.<p>Thanks!<p>ps: posting this from a throwaway account for obvious reasons. I hope you don&#x27;t mind.
======
atemerev
Well, my latest startup failure left me with around $50k personal debt, some
legal pursuits, expired residence visa in the country I lived in, and a 3
months old baby daughter to care and provide for. And right, no job and no
upcoming interviews.

I am sorry for a probably uninvited comparison — I am not implying that my
situation is harder, and I know that burnout is a serious shit. It takes
months to recover.

Some things to consider:

1) Even if you feel like a failure, you are not. You are a success. Our
feelings are not a reliable indicator of personal value, especially after
burning out.

2) Try to do something where you can feel small improvements every few days,
with enough runway before productivity plateau. Running, meditation,
skateboarding, playing guitar, rock climbing — whatever looks the most
interesting to you, and looks easy enough (it's important). Regularly feeling
improvements in any activity is the best therapy I know.

~~~
donw
(2) is very important advice.

Don't worry about the big picture.

Every day, find yourself some wins and celebrate them.

Maybe it's something as small as brushing your teeth. Dental hygene rocks --
go you!

Or leaving the house and going to Starbucks, even if only to browse Reddit.
Hey, getting out that door can be a big challenge.

Maybe it's going for a run or a hike. You totally owned that half-mile.

Whatever it is, write it down in a list, and look at yesterday's list every
morning.

Every accomplishment, no matter how small, is a step forward.

Celebrate the fact that you made that step, and didn't give up.

One more thing:

I don't know where you, the OOP, are, mentally.

So while burnout is serious shit, depression is even more serious shit.

And we don't talk about it enough in the tech community.

Whenever I move to a new country, I immediately identify a local English-
speaking hospital and dental practice. Because if I ever need them, I will
_need_ them on a very tight timeframe.

So, I would invest a little time and find a quality psychiatrist. Somebody
that you feel comfortable talking to, and that gives you good advice.

Do what you would do with any professional service, and shop around until you
find one you really like.

That way, if you ever really do hit rock bottom, you know where you can go,
and don't need to start searching when you're in no shape to do so.

~~~
davidmr
Thank you. Even if things are a little different for every person as they
naturally are, this is good advice and I genuinely appreciate the positive
attitude. As someone who has struggled with depression quite a bit, I
generally have a knee-jerk reaction to "just be positive" advice, but this
really sits a nice middle ground between "be positive" and "find a way to be
as positive as you can".

~~~
donw
"Just be positive" is horrible advice, even for non-depressed people.

Sometimes your world really has gone to shit. There is no shame in admitting
that. Despair isn't limited only to people that have mental problems.

So you treat it like any other survival situation: take stock of your
resources, focus only on your next action (and on nothing else), celebrate
every win that you get, and realize that failure is going to be part of the
process, too.

You're going to need every ounce of motivation and positivity that you can
muster, and those ounces don't come free. So earn them, no matter how small,
and bank those victories for the next day.

Slogging through a long and grueling hike isn't about focusing on the summit
of the mountain. It's about taking one step. And then you repeat.

Sure, it might not be fast, and it might be hard as hell, but if you just
don't quit, you will make it through.

~~~
coldtea
> _" Just be positive" is horrible advice, even for non-depressed people.
> (...) treat it like any other survival situation: take stock of your
> resources, focus only on your next action (and on nothing else), celebrate
> every win that you get, and realize that failure is going to be part of the
> process, too. You're going to need every ounce of motivation and positivity
> that you can muster, and those ounces don't come free. So earn them, no
> matter how small, and bank those victories for the next day. (...)_

In other words, "just be positive"?

~~~
dsfyu404ed
>In other words, "just be positive"?

For incredibly poor interpretations of the phrase "just be positive"

------
jacquesm
Hey there throwaway,

First of all, this is really not all that bad: you got paid, and you have a
years worth of $ in the bank.

Good. Now, the first thing to do is to make sure that you get into a mode
where you extend your runway, turn that 12 months into 13 months and so on.
Doing nothing for 3 months is enough to recharge your batteries a little bit.

Figure out what your monthly expenses are and then try to find something -
anything, really - that pays you just a bit more than that so that you can
remain floating while you work out what to do next.

Please do _not_ consider yourself a failure in any way, I've run the same
company for almost two decades before getting back a little over what I put in
initially. I don't consider that a failure either (maybe I should ;) ), and
you managed to do this in a substantially shorter time.

Sooner or later a new real opportunity will come by: use all the lessons you
learned and your new perspective on life to make the call on what is worth
your time and if and when that happens you can roll the dice once more. But
don't get seduced by risking that head-start that you now have over most other
people on something with a low chance of success.

Then you might end up losing all the time you put in.

If you're like me - and I really hope you are not - and you're continuously
tempted to spend your money in unwise ways then I suggest you buy some real
estate in a place where the market is reasonably fluid or, if you already own
a house, to simply dump it (or at least a sizable fraction of it) in your
mortgage. That way it will last long, will have an immediate ROI (if it is
your own house) and you avoid the temptation to spend it piecemeal until there
is nothing left.

Best of luck!

------
existencebox
"Failure".

I'm about your same age. I have a carreer which, arrogantly, everyone I know
considers "pretty damn good"

I've shipped a fraction of what you have in terms of end to end solutions, let
alone piloting the ship as a founder would have to. I've learned skill sets
deep in narrow areas, but this has left me wanting for broad exposure and
heterogenous understanding.

Your experiences and _successes_ (you SHIPPED, even if it failed after N
years, and that's not even including a fucking _sale_; how many engineers get
even close to that far?) give you skill sets that I couldn't easily replicate
from my entire peer network. Do not sell yourself short. Even if you HAD
failed, and spectacularly (and both times!) that's still a remarkable amount
of firsthand experience that, outside of any pathological decisions on your
part I don't know about, may not say anything negative at all about your
choices and decisions. (and even if it did, experience is experience, you make
mistakes and learn from them, and are so much more valuable after. Did you see
the HN lashback to the eng. getting punished for deleting prod? and that's a
pretty damn overt failure.)

I can ramble on as the above well demonstrates, largely because I have a deep
wellspring of reasons why you're being silly. Please don't take this to be a
statement meant in insult, I'm sitting here amazed at your accomplishments as
I'm reading, get to your conclusion, and go "wait what why huge failure no
stop that".

Actionably, maybe go work for a bigCo/midstage/something more grounded for a
few years. Keep yourself stable and sane, see what exists in the world and
what other people have done. I hope it will help you see the perspective I
have, which paints your accomplishments in a very favorable light. (more
importantly, don't take my advice literally, I'm saying broadly, do something
to keep yourself afloat, employable, and to give yourself time to unwind and
just _do shit_ as you want. Some amount of stability and freedom has done
volumes in my own life for regaining mental strength in periods of conflict.)
And do this in the knowledge and confidence that this engineer would consider
himself lucky to work with and learn from someone who has "failed" as much as
you have :)

~~~
RUG3Y
This is an excellent response. I'd like to add my support and voice similar
sentiments for OP: I'm doing ok myself, and you've accomplished far more than
I have. I know from personal experience that I'm my own worst critic. You may
feel stupid, unskilled, or whatever, but when you begin interacting with
people again, you'll find that you DO have plenty to offer.

A perceived failure is discouraging - but you've been gaining experience and
growing along the way. This hasn't been a total loss.

~~~
piva00
I'm thirding this here, I'm about the same age, worked in a bunch of different
things and technologies, helped startups create their product from ground
zero, been to startup events and talks with investors and now I've
accomplished my dream of being able to live abroad, out of my home country.

And even then I've not come close to the first hand experience you have now, 7
years driving two companies.

So don't be too harsh on yourself, you're doing very well, way above most of
people even in your country.

------
andreshb
You made money to live for a year, that's great!

Things you can do for 6-9 months (save at least 3 months as emergency fund)
before you decide your next step and could possibly lead to either a new
startup or new job:

\- Entrepreneur in Residence or Mentor to an accelerator (not sure where you
are)

\- Mentor or Advisor to local seed stage startups

\- Advisor to local angel group or fund to help in technical due diligence and
general advise

\- All of the above but in different countries (Happy to help in Latin
America)

Your experience can help founders tremendously, as a former serial
entrepreneur and an investor now I find that my experience in what NOT to do
is very valuable to founders. In the process you might find a company you can
join or your next idea, or perhaps find the investment side of things
interesting and start a career there.

Here are some options that your experience brings:

\- VP of Product / Product Manager at post-A companies: A PM is like a running
a mini company, they need to know marketing, engineering, product and a bit of
finance to make a product team work well.

\- Founder Again: You have more money left than what most founders start out
with, as an investor I like backing founders with failures in the past.

\- Venture Partner / EIR: Depending on where you are there's usually funds /
accelerators that can use people with technical background and startup
experience to help portfolio companies and perhaps even bring some additional
dealflow.

~~~
astrodust
It's important to _not_ jump back into a startup as a founder/owner. Take some
time to decompress and figure out what went right, what went wrong, and what
lessons you've learned.

Being a mentor or an advisor is a great way to stay active and involved
without the crushing pressure that comes with a start-up. Once you get
yourself oriented, dive back in if that's what you're feeling up to.

------
markbnj
I went through something quite similar twenty years ago. I had co-founded a
software company starting in the back-end programming role and evolving into
"President" and later "CTO" after we were funded. I put those in quotes
because I had no clue at all what I was doing. A few years down the road we
sold out for a bit under the preferences and I was out of a job. The past few
years had not really qualified me to be anything other than an entrepreneur.
My engineering skills had grown rusty. There was no way I would pass a
development interview.

After about nine months I was hired as a senior VP in a mid-sized public corp
and spent almost a year there. I hated it. I came out of that place determined
to get back to doing the sort of software engineering work I knew I was suited
for and could make a decent living at. I sharpened my skills. I wrote some
side projects. I focused on small startups and consultancies, and over a
period of about five years rebuilt myself a career doing what I love. I
probably won't ever do another startup at this point, but I consider myself
fortunate to have found my niche.

------
koliber
Hi!

What a ride you've been on!

I read your post and two things jumped out that I would like to address.

#1: You are exhausted

Rightly so! Building a company, keeping it alive, and selling it is exhausting
in the best of circumstances. You do need a break. But please, don't do
"nothing". Don't go back to work. Don't start another company just yet. But
don't sit on a couch with a beer in your hand either.

Travel, exercise, pick up a new sport or hobby, perhaps learn how to play
chess well. Keep your mind and body occupied in a productive and positive way.
The exhaustion and built up tension will go away.

#2: You're not good at anything and feel like a failure

How wrong you are! You are not a failure. You have super-valuable skills, but
just don't know how to name them and sell them.

You attempted two experiments that did not pan out. You provided jobs for
people. You even managed to have a small albeit fruitful exit in your second
venture. Wow!

Sorry to hear it did not pan out the way you've hoped. That happens more often
than not.

Your skills: management & leadership, plus whatever hard skills you have.

Your future:

If you are feeling restless and want a job now, look for positions in
companies that match your skills. Middle management in big firms. Upper
management in small firms. Something that fits with your area of expertise and
something you enjoy doing. It may be sales, marketing, or tech. Your
experience in leadership and management that you acquired while running your
firms, coupled with _any_ amount of hard skills is a very marketable skill.

On the other hand, if you have already founded two companies, my crystal ball
tells me you will go on to start a third. Don't do it now to fill a void. Do
it when your gut tells you its time and your mind proposes a viable idea. This
may be after six months of learning judo, or after a two year stint at a big
corporation. Entrepreneurship is a trait, and it seems you have it in you.

Best of luck!

------
tompetry
I am beginning year 4 as a co-founder of a startup. I know how tough it can
be, and how it can feel when you don't accomplish what you set out to.

People seem to be keep saying that you shouldn't get down on yourself. While
true in the long term, it's perfectly normal to feel down sometimes. You've
been through a lot. It's OK to feel fear and anxiety, and even question
yourself at times. So long as you realize that it's temporary. Because you
will bounce back. The fear and anxiety make it so, because it motives us. You
are tough and determined, or you wouldn't have lasted anywhere close to this
point. Respect!

Another thing to consider is.. what is your end goal? Is it to constantly be
challenged? Is it loving to start from scratch and build something with a
small team? If so, take a break, and try again. You aren't even 30. If your
end goal is a slower pace and more financial stability, because you think long
term that is what you will want, take a role at an established company. Your
experience and determination as an entrepreneur will be sought after. And you
can always do side projects.

Lastly, keep in mind why you took the risks in the first place. If you didn't
try, you wouldn't have been happy. It's ok to feel what you feel. Take some
time to rest and re-charge. You'll be back :)

------
chatmasta
\- Take a break

\- Experiment with new technologies

You're burned out right now so you're not seeing the big picture. Or rather,
you think you're seeing the big picture, which is that you're fucked. But
you're really not. You're in a great place and I'm sure your next company will
be a success.

Take some time off to reorient yourself, then when you come back to the
computer, don't work on anything specific. Just chill and play with new
technologies. One day you'll have an epiphany, see an obvious market void, and
then your motivation to build a product will come roaring back.

Whatever you do, don't get a job... cmon man that sounds entirely out of line
with everything you told us about yourself. That would be a huge waste. Keep
plugging away. You'll have success soon.

~~~
jacquesm
> cmon man that sounds entirely out of line with everything you told us about
> yourself.

I don't agree with that. Having a job for a while is great way to keep your
time structured (OP has a problem with that guessing from what the wrote) and
to stay in contact with other human beings.

Even though I'm always going to be happier as 'my own boss' I've had jobs just
to tide me over for a bit or to help out some friends' business. None of those
were permanent but long enough to regain a grip on the compass before deciding
where to move on to next. That can take some time and that time will eat up
your savings rapidly. Better to make that time count for something rather than
nothing.

------
eldavido
If you're used to working at startup speed, just take a job. It'll seem easy,
people will work way fewer hours, and at lower intensity, than you're used to,
and you'll catch up to them skill-wise in a few years. Don't beat yourself up
too much.

Source: was in same position 5 years ago. Email in sig if you want to grab a
drink.

~~~
mikekij
^This. Working at a big company is about 10% as hard as working at a startup
as a founder (maybe less). HR people love applicants with an "entrepreneurial
spirit", and founders are often great product managers at big companies. Give
yourself 18 months to do a great job in that role, and spend 25% of your
personal time looking for problems within that type of company that could be
solved with technology. Build a prototype of a solution nights and weekends,
raise a seed round, and then start a new company. (That's what I did).

~~~
solresol
> HR people love applications with an "entrepreneurial spirit"

This has been the exact opposite of my experience.

I think HR is more likely to say "reject immediately, not an exact fit for the
job we are looking for and anyway he or she will probably leave to start
another startup soon"

~~~
mikekij
Interesting. Maybe it would have been more accurate to say my former managers
loved an entrepreneurial spirit. Don't have as much experience with HR
directly.

~~~
UK-AL
HR typically like people who have been doing the exact same job for the past 5
years.

In the corporate world, its hard to change positions because you are type
cast.

------
xiaoma
I had a somewhat similar situation at a similar age though the industry and
specifics were different. I moved to Yunnan province in China, taught myself
to draw with a pencil and paper. Then bought a Wacom Bamboo tablet and a copy
of Adobe Flash and started learning how to make digital art and web games.
After that, I moved to California learned how to code at a professional level
and worked at some tech companies in the bay area.

I don't think that it's been a net financial win (yet), but I really think it
was worth it to experience other parts of life that I'd been ignoring when I
had my nose to the grindstone and had tunnel-vision induced by that business.
If anything, it would have been better to branched out sooner!

If you truly feel like a failure, try moving abroad for a few months. Meet and
talk with people you never would have in your own country. See how they see
life. Listen to their stories and their goals. You might be surprised to find
that you're not the failure you thought. You might also discover opportunities
to take advantage of your skills that you had never considered before.

------
blrgeek
Was in a very similar position a few years ago after two startups and 7years
with zero returns.

More actionably, dev+fin+products = pm in a fintech company or bank. Or
fin+products = evangelist for fintech api startup Or dev+fin = dev at fintech
Or dev+prod = product manager anywhere. Or fin+startup = coo for an ops heavy
startup at series b+ Check out pmarca archive on careers for support.

I spent my next 4 yrs at two of the big 4 sw companies as a product manager.
Best choice ever, huge pay, lots of resources. got lots of shit done at a much
faster pace than they are used to. Not stressful compared to startup life.
Helped me get a new network, new perspectives, new resources.

Four years to the month, I quit, and now doing a startup again ,and this time
it's going much better so far :)

So it ain't the end of the world, just a blip on your journey to eventually
building something big.

Will it be your third or fourth or seventh startup that makes it big? Who
knows?

The key is to survive that long and make each startup better and you sound
like the kind of person who will.

May the force be with you!

------
chegra
I was in a situation like this at some point. I wrote the following blog post
from a now deleted blog:

"You only need one

Flash back to early 2008, it was the end of my first interview after deciding
to move on from my first start up, www.virtualstocktrading.com. I was fairly
demoralized from what I had perceived as the failure of my first start-
up(looking back I was actually ramen noodles profitable-- I wasn‘t aware of
the terminology at the time) so much so that I express my disappointment in
how it turned out in the interview. The interviewer said to me “You only need
one to succeed”, and a smile crept across my face at a time when smiles rarely
came naturally.

I smiled because this is exactly something I would have said if it wasn’t my
start-up, and the statement is true. That statement is why I'm here trying
again at my third attempt at creating a start-up, timeline-x.com [The second
was pock.it, shout out to Odi, Tom and Mike]. My hope is one of these start-
ups will shoot the moon.

The statement provided some much needed perspective; that in fact, I hadn't
fail, only made my first try. I mentally glance over stuff I had learnt, the
code base I had built and the contacts I had made. No VirtualStockTrading.com
wasn't a failure it was a setup for the rest start-ups to come[Used some of my
code in pock.it].

Hope if these words meet you in despair, they would do the same for you as it
did me: “You only need one!”"

------
harel
You founded 2 startups. You're already 2 steps ahead of those who founded
zero. You have knowledge of the full life cycle of a company. You allegedly
failed but failure (like success) is subjective and you did gain knowledge you
would not have had you "succeeded". Again that puts you a few steps ahead of
others. You can go at it again - do another venture. Or you can join someone
else's idea (which you believe in) and do it together. You can consult other
startups with who are just starting out. You can take the time to perfect one
of the skills you acquired. Hopefully in the area that you found most
attractive and interesting. You are in a good position. You did not fail.

------
habosa
I can't give you any career advice, but given that you have a little money in
the bank I'll tell you what I'd do: take a vacation.

There are so few times in the average career where there's any opportunity to
take a long (months) break from work. Most people in our industry jump from
job to job with maybe a week or two in between.

Go somewhere youve never been and hang out. Maybe the next move will become
obvious to you with that kind of space.

~~~
erentz
+1 for vacation or a mini-sabatical for a few months if you can. If you can
put the problem of what to do aside for now and just take some time to renew
yourself you'll be surprised at how you'll feel.

------
adreamingsoul
Burnout and depression, are tough. I'm currently going through both and find
myself asking similar questions.

As far as what to do with life "now", that is the greatest problem that you
will spend a lifetime trying to solve.

while (life = true) { echo "what now?" }

## My Own Advice ## For me, getting back to basics is my current pursuit
(currently only a dream). I think our generation is generally accepting of the
idea to live sustainable and detached from the economic machine.

It's ok to not know what the next steps are, take that as a sign that you need
to slow down, reflect, and heal.

You are more experienced than you give credit for, but it's tough to see the
entire picture when you are looking through a magnifying glass.

Find a mentor, counselor, or therapist to talk with. Heck, even a friend who
has been through something like this would be good for you. Basically, get
those thoughts out in the open so that you can hear yourself talk. Just by
talking you will validate how you feel, what you think, and ultimately take
steps towards feeling better.

Meditation helps. Recently I've developed for the first time in my life
anxiety attacks that leave me with chest wall pain. I attribute this to recent
events in my family, work, and trying to meet society's expectations. But, I
have found that meditation has helped me bring some peace to my life.
Gardening, sitting by a fire, playing with my dog, woodworking, listening to
music, these are just a few of many things you can do find peace in your mind.

Too bad we couldn't grab lunch or coffee. I would enjoy hearing your story.

------
rhubarbquid
You've probably built up a decent skillset that would be valuable to a growing
startup, if you're interested in working for someone else for a change. Don't
be discouraged that you're not an "expert" in any one field... being able to
wear a lot of hats is a good thing for startups and small companies. If, for
example, you joined a company as an engineer, your experience in other areas
like product design will help you work with and understand the product
designers there.

Joining a larger company than the one's you've founded might help round out
your skills, too.

Most tech startups fail... yours failing doesn't make you a failure. Your
other option is to take what you've learned along the way and try again. I've
you've previously founded solo, it may be worth thinking about trying again
with a partner or two, if there are some candidates to do that with that
you've met along the way. They can help with skills and experience you don't
have, and can help keep you motivated when you're feeling down.

------
AnimalMuppet
Take time to mourn. If you haven't been doing that in the last three months,
do it now.

Take time to rest. If you haven't been doing that in the last three months,
(try to) do it now. This means stopping worrying about your future for a bit.
Give yourself a month to have fun and be lazy, without feeling guilty about
it. (That is, try to do so. If you find that you can't, well, you can't.)

And _then_ it's time to figure out the next step.

By the way, something like 90% of startups fail. You had two out of two
startups fail. _This shouldn 't surprise you._ It's the most likely outcome.

------
tluyben2
To get over a similar experience, I moved from a city in an expensive country
to a village in a cheap country. The money I got would last me many more years
than it would have otherwise, so I had time to relax, get over things and
order my thoughts. Worked well for me.

~~~
72deluxe
Out of interest, which country did you move to? Sounds like a really great
idea.

~~~
tluyben2
South of Spain.

------
csoare
You should apply for jobs at startups -- get in touch with your fellow
founders. You have a unique skill-set & mindset which I'm pretty sure will be
valued by the right company & team.

As you've noted, doing nothing will only make the bad feelings get worse -
it's best to start getting in touch and talking with people, it's the best way
to decompress IMO.

------
paulsutter
You've learned a ton, don't get down on yourself. You've learned more than you
realize. Email me if you want to brainstorm new company ideas.

It's difficult to fit into a regular job after being a founder. Go ahead and
do it, if that feels right to you. But I'm guessing that's not the case.

~~~
HiroshiSan
I like this attitude. I wish I could start a startup and burn out (which I
plan to in the future), whereas I currently have nothing to my name.

------
audiometry
Step away from all the rational arguments about whether your company's results
were/were-not successful.

There is a possibility that the real problem is that you are suffering from
serious anxiety or depression. When you are in that state, it is impossible to
objectively analyze your situation. It is also impossible to reason your way
into calculating the best next step.

Solutions run the gamut from learning mindfulness to seeing a psychiatrist.

In my experience, once those tools give you clarity, you free yourself from
the immense amounts of unhelpful internal dialogue your own mind can generate.
THEN you are in a much better place to assess your situation and make
appropriate decisions.

As an arm-chair amateur counselor, the way to write and talk about yourself
makes me suspect you've slid way down the 'depression funnel.' Getting out of
that requires deliberate and determined work on your part. The other life
stuff (job, etc) must be put to the side for a while. Get yourself sorted,
then you'll be able to handle the life stuff.

(I say all this from experience, having suffered regular bouts of depression
and anxiety for a long time (much of that time, unfortunately, was un-
diagnosed!))

------
kfrzcode
Failing has been replaced with learning in my lexicon.

Every day you're alive, present, and able to love is a success. Take your win
and look around you. You have more wealth than than 99.50% of the world's
population if you can make $40k USD a year and have no debt.

Take a trip to nature. Computers have taken over too many of our lives, and
it's worth putting away the screen for an extended amount of time to listen to
the planet.

------
philprx
1\. Use a bit of time to get out of burn out, but not too much. That is,
really get out, like 7 to 10 days hiking and camping or so. But not 3 more
month out.

2\. Post consulting position, like creating your own consulting web site and
some posts to advertise it, to start generating interest, and when in contact
just measure each opportunity and see if you should come back from your
camping holidays or defer 10 days and jump on it when you're back. See this as
paid market discovery. Choose the field of consulting you LOVE and would like
to become proficient in, don't offer something you already know and don't
like.

3\. Meet friends, trusted people, and discuss ideas, a bit on your situation
but don't dwell on it, you could sound more depressed than really needed. See
if some of these people show interest in what motivates you.

4\. Don't hesitate to do one hour to one day projects that go nowhere except
testing new technology or concepts. You might discover something great.

5\. Get out to exercise a bit daily: walking in nature is excellent. Freshens
the mind, replenish your energy tank.

------
rhizome
You're taking a highly dramatic read on your situation, I'd say overly so.
Even though you may have been "kicked out," you still got paid, and you
apparently had enough skills to get to that point.

Start applying for a bunch of jobs and see what positions feel most
comfortable. Also consider psychotherapy to deal with what looks like
ruminations and generally poor self-esteem.

~~~
1001101
> Also consider psychotherapy to deal with what looks like ruminations and
> generally poor self-esteem.

While I might not have put it that way, I +1 this. OP doesn't sound like a
failure to me. Mental exhaustion from trying to keep the lights on at a start-
up can definitely take its toll. I know I have similar thoughts when I've been
burning the candle at both ends for too long.

------
ericd
Given your experience as a founder, you could probably be a good COO at a
small but growing startup, taking some of the load off of the CEO. First, I'd
let yourself decompress for a bit, though, and give yourself permission to
really do whatever you feel like doing for a couple months, without thinking
too much about the future.

------
powera
First: ignore the people who say this is a successful start up. By your
account it wasn't.

If your company had enough publicity, you might want to say it was a success
publicly and join FaceGoogSoft. Otherwise, take another three months off
(outside of SF/Silicon Valley) and look for options to try again.

------
solresol
It's not easy finding a job after being a founder.

My experience is that years of {mediocre data scientist and AI}, {mediocre
project manager}, {mediocre product manager}, {mediocre software developer},
{mediocre book-keeping and financial management experience} and {mediocre
salesperson} doesn't line up very well with any job description that any
company hires for. Sometimes product manager is the closest fit. I think in 6
months I've had two interviews in my own country, plus a few more overseas,
none of which have led to anything. I've not quite -- but nearly -- given up
searching.

In the meantime, I'm still finding I can pitch ideas to people about software
that they could use in their business (or sell to other people) and hack
together things quickly enough to keep some money ticking over. It's not
ideal, because I'm spending more time doing sales than doing development.

It occasionally gets surreal, where I've been rejected for a role from a big
corporate where I would be looking after a solution that I had sold and
implemented for them -- but because I don't have big name employers on my
resume, HR wouldn't put my name forward for it.

There are also freelancer networks where you can keep your skills (not just
coding skills, but other business skills as well) ticking over while you
figure out what's next.

It seems like most people can end up being happy in a lot of roles, it's
mostly about the people you are spending time with. So a good place to start
is to think about what sorts of organisations you want to be with, or who you
want to be with rather than what you want to do.

A nice book which might help is "Book yourself Solid" by Michael Port. It's
mostly about how to run a services & consulting business, but he has some
early chapters going through exercises that make you think about what you want
to do.

Perhaps the world needs a company who specialises in hiring ex-founders on the
grounds that the market doesn't do a good job valuing them at the moment.

------
bluetwo
My take is this:

\- You learned you didn't have enough rounded knowledge to run a company. You
probably recognize this.

\- Don't forget that you now have a bunch of experience others don't have, in
getting something off the ground, being in charge, and turning the reigns over
to someone else at a profit.

\- Maybe your next venture needs to be in a position where you'll get to learn
to fill in the gaps of what you don't know and also get to leverage what you
have learned. I would look for a partnership in an area outside your comfort
zone where you don't have to know everything. Be a VP in a small growing
company. Let someone else be #1 this time.

------
annnnd
Actually, your experience sounds great! In general, it is much easier to find
people with narrow interests. While it might seem to you that you are not
employable, this is just an illusion - there are many developers, but few with
experience "from development to product design to finance". This makes you a
great fit for virtually any smaller company which doesn't have a separate
person for each role - startups, new businesses,...

TL;DR: You didn't fail. You learned.

As for burnout - been there. If it's any consolation, it will go away once you
find something new that will keep you motivated.

------
magacloud
I sympathise with you on the current situation. But, congratulations and Bravo
for being an entrepreneur and very few people get an opportunity to make a
difference and create jobs.

I'm just trying to give my perspective, I'm sure there are good days ahead and
lets keep up the spirit.

Here in india, we refer our life as "Maya" \- everything is imaginary. It is
important to do our duty and the result is not in our hands!

As a parent of two, and founder of couple of ventures, I see entrepreneurship
is a role that we play just like how we play our roles to parents and our
kids. Also its a journey that we take and no destination.

All the best.

------
klistwan
I recently went through a similar situation (decided to leave my startup after
4 years of growing it). I wrote about my decision on Medium
([https://medium.com/@klistwan/why-im-quitting-my-4-year-
old-s...](https://medium.com/@klistwan/why-im-quitting-my-4-year-old-startup-
cb770cce96db)), and took about 4 months off to travel and decompress. I spent
quite a bit of it reading, reflecting, trying new things, etc. Feel free to
send me an email or PM on twitter if you want to ask more questions! :-)

------
rickdale
_In both of the companies I 've founded, I had to wear too many hats. As a
result, I have not excelled in any particular skill, rather I've gained medium
level of experience in variety of skills from development to product design to
finance. _

You gotta be nicer to yourself. Honestly, in my mind its impressive having
exceelled in all of those areas. And you found 2 startups and the second one
was a success, although not in your eyes, which you gotta stop saying and
start understanding or asking what success really is.

------
apinstein
I've been in similar situations myself a few times. Getting to "closure" with
a project that didn't have anywhere close to the desired outcome can be a big
let down.

While it's appropriate and even helpful to have some perspective (you are in a
good financial position, you hopefully are in good health, you are still very
young), your disappointment and pain is still real. You need to process the
disappointment.

After I took the time to just do nothing, here are some of the things that
helped me get excited about something new. I think it's important to shake up
your routine - you cannot just wallow in past thinking. You have to tell
yourself to turn the past experiences into wisdom you have forever instead of
constantly thinking of them as proof of failure.

Travel. New places are exciting. Maybe do something 100% guided so you don't
have to do any planning. This can help bootstrap things.

Do new things. I find it feels good to be early on the learning curve of
something new. Lots of feedback of progress, and it's fun. New sport, new
programming language, etc. Even if it's entirely purposeless.

Do you have any lists of ideas you want to pursue from the past? Or maybe go
read lists of ideas for startups that others have posted.

Volunteer at local startup events, or offer your expertise for free to other
founders. You would be surprised how meaningful your experiences will be for
others. You are in a great position to help them.

Hopefully some of these things get you excited about the future.

Good luck!

------
nathan_f77
If you have 1 year of living expenses, you could probably make that last 3-5
years in Thailand. I really enjoy living in Chiang Mai. My wife and I have
just started a 1 year ED visa for hand to hand combat [1], and the first few
lessons have been very good. The lessons are 2 hours, and it's twice a week.
Start with a few 60 day tourist visas first, and you can extend those to 90
days. I've enjoyed exploring Southeast Asia over the last few years.

If you want to get unstuck and do something, then I would recommend picking up
a new technology and building something fun. Maybe mobile development with
React Native. Just get a few little things on the app stores and see where it
leads you. I've just spent the last 3 or 4 months learning React Native while
developing a little game, and this one idea has branched out into lots of
different app ideas, even startup ideas and SaaS services. Diving in and
building something (anything) is a great way to find new problems to solve.
Living somewhere with a low cost of living gives you a lot of room to breathe
and find your next ideas.

[1] [https://hand2handcombat.com/](https://hand2handcombat.com/)

~~~
alexcnwy
I was going to suggest Chiang Mai after reading the OP then scrolled down and
saw it's the top comment.

I just spent 4 months traveling around Asia with 1 month in Chiang Mai. It's
an incredible city and incredible in ways you wouldn't expect. For one, it's
actually very developed (second biggest city in Thailand) with many big modern
malls. Also, the cellular infrastructure is great and you can get a SIM card
for really cheap that also gives you access to "SuperWifi" which is like
150Mbps at Maya mall. There are also a bunch of cool coworking spaces and
cafes to work from with other people working remotely on interesting projects.
The food is great and varied.

Plus, you can book a hotel for your first 2/3 nights and then walk around and
look at all the condos. We looked at 10 different apartments - could have
moved into any one of them on the spot with 1 month's deposit. Ended up
staying in one with a pool, gym, sauna, king sized bed, good wifi - 2 minutes
from Maya mall - all for like $600 per month.

Also the temples are remarkable and the people are super friendly. Highly
recommended to reset and get a fresh perspective! Also, Penang in Malaysia is
nearby and also really worth checking out :)

~~~
reustle
> with many big modern malls

Maya and ? The other other 1 or 2 are literally falling apart they're so old
and empty

~~~
nathan_f77
Central Festival and Maya are both awesome. CentralPlaza by the airport is
pretty nice. Promenada is also nice, but a bit quiet and far away from
everything. I think KSK is the only one I would call old and falling apart,
but it's not so bad. I think it has character. It's definitely the weirdest
and hugest brick building I've ever seen. I like all the strange empty spaces
and hallways, and the bowling alley tucked away in the corner.

EDIT: Haha whaaaaat, I must have been to KSK 50 times and I never knew it had
this huge theater [1]. I feel like I discover something new every time I
wander around this place.

[1] [http://www.topchiangmai.com/wp-
content/uploads/2016/10/%E0%B...](http://www.topchiangmai.com/wp-
content/uploads/2016/10/%E0%B9%82%E0%B8%A3%E0%B8%87%E0%B8%A5%E0%B8%B0%E0%B8%84%E0%B8%A3%E0%B8%81%E0%B8%B2%E0%B8%94%E0%B9%80%E0%B8%98%E0%B8%B5%E0%B8%A2%E0%B9%80%E0%B8%95%E0%B8%AD%E0%B8%A3%E0%B9%8C.jpg)

------
sonink
There is a lot of good advice here on perspective and going ahead one step at
a time.

The only thing I would like to add to it is that you will feel better in due
course even if you dont do anything much. Time will fix burnout by itself, and
your pessimism will lift.

Try not being anxious about not wanting to do anything. Knowing that it will
fix itself should help - maybe make this time enjoyable even. Let the world go
by and have faith that your time will come.

------
davidbanham
Hello! I've been in a very similar position. Both the lackluster acquisition
and the failure.

I really feel it when you say you feel like you're the jack of all trades but
master of none. I had the exact same anxiety about my skillset and it was
really tough to figure out how I was employable.

The good news is your mix of skills are actually highly sought after. The
ability to understand all facets of the business _including_ the hard
technical stuff is actually fairly rare.

The work I do now sometimes looks like management consulting, sometimes looks
like contract software development.

I help companies build out prototypes quickly. I help them transition their
dev teams to new paradigms (microservices, etc). I help them review their
codebases and see how they're stacking up against best practice. I advise
nontechnical founders on how to hire technical staff and how to think about
technical strategy in "CTO as a service" engagements.

There is demand out there for what you've got to offer. When you're ready,
start networking again and focus on selling yourself. You'll find more buyers
than you expect.

------
rb808
Backpacking around SE Asia/Europe/South America sounds like a great choice.
Live cheap, relax and forget your worries for a few months.

------
fecak
If your looking to talk this through live with someone and bounce ideas about
career and such, I do coaching for lots of job seekers (also resume writing,
bios, etc.) and have worked with a number of HN'ers over the past few years.
Much of my coaching is just asking the right questions to help clients arrive
at their own conclusions.

If interested, my contact info is in my profile.

------
porlune
It may not make a difference hearing this - but you don't sound like a failure
to me. You sound like you're tired and in need of more rest.

29 is young, you still have a lot of bounce left. Take the time you were
planning to take to relax and actually relax.

Actively ignore these negative feelings, they do nothing to help you in the
way you are experiencing them (in other words, try to see tragedy as
opportunity).

I like to remember the simple advice: don't beat yourself up, there are plenty
of other people that will do that for you. I also like to remember that "if
you don't find time for rest and relaxation, then illness will find time for
you." I think I heard that while playing Civ6.

Please also know you are not alone, I often feel like a huge failure too.
Somethings I have done recently that have helped me improve my attitude: 1\. I
got off social media. 2\. I started reading and writing fiction again. 3\. I
started going out more for just the purpose of leaving my programming cave.

I hope this finds you well.

Cheers!

~~~
stuntkite
He's right! You are not a failure! I'm 33 and I left a company I founded 3
years ago after 5 in the trenches. It was close to the big deal that was gonna
make it all go sunshine and rainbows but I got fat, angry, and had started
drinking a lot. I got so caught up in day to day people management it was
months since I touched a real engineering problem.

I took a fairly extreme route. I said I would help try to close a merger with
a large player in the game, if it hit, I'd stay, if not I'd leave. It didn't
work out. I left. I walked out the door.

Because I'd been an executive it was near impossible for me to get a
programming job. Also, I was an odd person to interview at the time. I
definitely echoed a lot of the feelings you have here. I gave away everything
I owned filled a backpack and couch surfed for eight months. Saw both oceans
in 30 day. Lived in a bungalo in Vermont on the lake for a month. Crashed on
an old friends couch and caught up for a while and worked on cars. Played with
the idea of moving to the woods to become a blacksmith. I was depressed as
hell. I knew it was what I needed to do but re-assimilating was hard, also the
nagging feeling I'd fucked over everything that was good.

I ended up taking a jobby-job with a huge porn video company in LA and lied
about my credentials to get a junior position. Kept my head down and just
worked my ass off on stuff. Started putting together new ideas in the evenings
and just finding myself. I really kind of stopped growing as a creative since
the startup got legs and customers.

I took another job at a startup I found on craigslist and moved to Seattle.
This time got an apartment and quit living out of my backpack. It was a decent
paying gig but clearly doomed. But it gave me a dojo to play in that wasn't
life and death. Plus I got my teeth fixed with the insurance.

Long story long, during that time I put together the structure for a new thing
and took it slow. It's all me. Now I'm back in it on my terms and focused very
differently than I was the last time. I'm almost unflappable. I'm enjoying
programming for the first time since well before I quit and the people I used
to work with are now back in my life.

The assets you've built at these "failures" is your biggest strength. There
are things about business that you now know instinctively that most people
never will. There will be more great and terrible days! No one's got a clock
on you and there are no real boundaries for success other than what you want.
Take time for you. You'll get back to it eventually 100x more ready for the
fight.

Even when things got on the up swing I still felt like maybe I really fucked
up by leaving that gig. I just recently caught up with one of the other
founders, they are doing the 4th platform overhaul for the same client that I
was trying to close 3 years ago. The big check is still around the corner.
They will make the money, I'm proud of them and my experience, but I was right
to leave for sure.

Keep at it! Put yourself first and you'll get rudder soon enough. There's
really no need to rush it.

------
fleitz
Start eating right, start sleep hygiene, start exercising (I would recommend
lifting & yoga).

Go do social things and start building a friend group, your local art scene
likely has tonnes of people in a similar situation, sans cash.

You exited with enough money to live for a year, most people call this a
sabbatical and dream of having one before retirement, let alone at 29.

I would also recommend stretching this money more than a year by going
backpacking in Asia / India.

Your feeling of failure is just that, a feeling, yoga / meditation will let
you come to terms with this, you may also want to do counseling.

I just landed a seed round and I'm taking the next week off to go to Alaska
for solstice experience 24/7 sunlight, swim in the arctic, regroup and figure
out how to move forward most efficient manner with my cofounder.

------
Baobei
I think travelling could be a good idea. Asia is very affordable for long
stints. We have an open couch for other entrepreneurs and you are welcome here
in HK for a couple weeks if you need. Well done asking for help. I think you
would get even more if you used your account next time. People understand.
Because we've been there. :)

------
vonnik
You've gained "medium level experience" in a few skill sets that are quite
rare. When you combine them, you probably have something exceptional and
unique. Think about the intersections of your rare skills, and how one shapes
the way you think about the other. Just an idea!

------
eksurfus
I've run a bootstrapped startup that's seen a lot of iterations in the last
nine years. We started in the midwest, then transitioned two years ago to the
valley when we were accepted to an accelerator. I deeply understand the
opportunities and pitfalls of wearing a lot of hats. Because we have been
continuously profitable, however, its been an excellent, stable learning
opportunity. If you are potentially interested in joining a small team and
either exploring (a) a leadership role based on your experience or (b) owning,
driving and gaining expertise in a particular business area to gain specialty,
I'm interested to connect (email in profile).

------
Quarrelsome
Go contracting. I can tell you from personal experience of the same situation
that going "code monkey" is so freaking chill after having to worry about
everything in a startup. In the interview process stress your understanding of
the whole life cycle as we always love to hire people that can see the big
picture, that'll easily make up for any rust on your skills.

If you're not ready to jump back into work just yet then just pursue an
interest for a while. If you have a three month old daughter then go baby
groups but social interaction is really what we're looking for here as well as
some associated interest.

------
OliverJones
It's happened to me. It sucks.

There's tons of good advice here. Most of it's about stuff you should DO.
Yeah, DO some of that stuff.

Don't forget to BE for a while.

What does BEing look like? I don't know you so I can't guess what it looks
like for you. For me it looked like hanging out at a good public library and a
nearby coffee shop reading all kinds of pointless stuff.

Then it looked like working as a cook's helper at a local feeding program for
people down on their luck.

Did I mention? it sucks to lose your company. It's no fun to acknowledge how
bad it sucks and play the shoulda woulda coulda game with yourself. But it's
OK to do those things.

------
akrymski
Begin by taking a vacation - you deserve it, and it'll clear your head.

When I've sold my first startup I specifically wanted to get out on day 1 so I
can go ahead and start another. This isn't for everyone - you have to decide
how much entrepreneurial itch you have, and how much cash you have to back you
up (you can move somewhere cheaper). The good news is that it will be easier
to raise money next time round, so if you start anything, it sounds like you
want to raise asap to be able to pay yourself a salary. If you feel like the
risk is too great for you - get a job as a PM in a growing startup.

------
bufordtwain
Think about your time at your previous two startups and try to identify the
roles/work that you enjoyed the most. Try to find a new position where your
day would be spent doing mostly that type of work. For example, if you really
enjoyed hands-on development, then focus on finding a development job. Make
sure you are clear in the interview what it is you want to be doing all day.
Within reason, hold out for a position at a company that seems like a very
good fit for you. At your next job, when they ask you to do things that you
know you won't enjoy say "no" if possible.

------
roadman
It seems you could excel at one thing if you could choose between the three.
Pick one up, get a medium job and then excel. You're no failure, don't worry
about that. And yeah, maybe get some perspective working in another country?
Not sure what you mean by mentally exhausted (differences between individuals
I guess) but your three months inactivity should have reduced that stress. You
can't be doing 'no thing' even though you don't work. Take it easy, learn some
new stuff, quit habits increasing stress. That kind of things should help I
guess.

------
d0m
2 quick things:

1- It's great that you've learned a wide range of skills.. this is extremely
powerful
([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-shaped_skills](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-shaped_skills)).
If you're not sure what to do next, I'd look for the "vertical bar" and focus
on that. Maybe it could be design or tech, whatever.

2- You invested a lot of time in learning how to build and run a startup..
very few people possess those skills, so maybe start a new project learning
from what previously went wrong and see where that leads you.

------
mkephart33
No risk, no reward. Keep building and hustling. More importantly, never ever
let anyone else make you feel bad about yourself for going after your goals.
Those are simply the weak people who are jealous they didn't have the courage
to do the same.

And yes, I've had to pick myself back up after similar circumstances. Some
quick advice, start reading up on your favorite tech leaders or significant
people throughout history, you'll find that none of them got it right the
first few times, but, every single one of them kept pushing forward.

------
chris__butters
Your options are massively open now and with the financial situation you're in
you don't have to rush - learning an instrument is a great way to relax and
give you focus too - I've played guitar for nearly 15 years and don't know
where I'd be without it.

Just bear in mind that you can't escape this but can go for a role without the
responsibilities or stress – while most roles call for a specialisation in a
certain area there are still roles where you can be a generalist.

Regroup, re-establish and reward yourself for what you've already done.

------
cj
Idea: Find super-early stage startups you're interested in to advise (can
sometimes even lead to a job). I've failed at 2 companies, and doing well at
my current. Even if you're not a wild success, a lot a startups appreciate
even someone to talk to on a regular basis which can be rewarding on both
ends. Although you'll be able to offer more than that (things that are
extremely obvious to people who've been through 3 companies, whether
successfully or not, have a lot of real-world experience and insight to
offer).

~~~
cj
PS - we're hiring! brandon@localizejs.com :)

Your skillset would be valuable to many small companies. The founder skillset
/experience is rare but extremely valuable at the right company.

------
zubat
Get yourself into a classroom again. It doesn't have to be an ambitious
course. It's a familiar structure and you've been out of it long enough that
it'll seem refreshing. While you do that go hit the gym if you aren't, yet.
(Or if you want to do it on a budget, get a set of resistance bands.) Set lots
of simple goals with structure and regularity. Journal your progress. This
will get you back into the thick of things without the nasty obligations of
the workplace - by the holidays you might have a good plan together.

------
kyu
Have you thought about doing some freelance work with other start ups? Maybe
get a feel for different industries to see which one peaks your interest?
Could be a great way to network and learn other industries!

------
mahyarm
You have the skillset of a team lead or a manager. Possibly a director ;)

~~~
rosege
I hear Uber are looking for a new board member :-)

------
tadruj
I suggest signing up for Recurse Center retreat in NYC and learning something
new that excites you. Like crypto, AI, AR or VR.

They are not a school, they're a retreat where expert coders and beginners
meet and work on self-directed cool stuff. Amazing community and brilliant
founders. You only need to provide a place to stay for yourself.

I did that. It was a good.

Besides learning a new language which enabled me to launch my next start-up a
month after Recurse Center program was done, I also met few amazing people and
programmers that I consider good friends now.

------
gerdesj
Take a glance down through the advice given so far, from "email me" to
something involving firearms which sounds dangerous.

Now take a deep breath. For starters, you are not a failure - two companies
before age 29 is pretty impressive.

You will probably never be happy as someone else's employee for long but that
might be an idea for now - get the CV (resume) dusted down anyway.

For me, having two other partners has worked out rather well - two against
one, as required. That does mean that you need two other people who you trust
completely.

I suspect that you will do OK.

------
leroy_masochist
Recommendations as follows:

1) Find a tolerable way to generate cash flow before you need it. Taking a few
months off is probably a good idea, but taking 11 months off if you have a
year's worth of savings will cause you stress down the road. I'd look at
platforms like Toptal and Catalant, where you can find quality clients who pay
well. And, many/most of the projects on those platforms are of the 15-20
hrs/week variety (ie that's the max they would want you to work), so you'd
have time to figure out next moves.

2) Regardless of your level of physical fitness, get more physically fit. I'm
not saying don't go to Costa Rica or Mykonos for a couple weeks and live a
little...definitely do that (family obligations permitting). But generally
speaking, anecdotal observation of MANY friends who have been through similar
situations suggests that people tend to neglect physical fitness in these
kinds of situations (especially if you were working out in a company
facility). One advantage of having time off isn't just the volume of time
itself, but the predictability of your free time. Now is your opportunity to
get into (or further into) BJJ or Crossfit or yoga or whatever -- you will
build a lot more camaraderie with the crew wherever you end up training if you
go there consistently at the same time.

3) Somewhat related to exercise - find fun things to be disciplined about.
Make a reading list and hold yourself to it. Devote an hour a day to learning
a new language (computer or human). Not only will you learn more stuff but
it's really helpful for your overall motivation levels to reset your
orientation around "I have to do this thing at this time" to fun activities
rather than drudgery.

4) Invest time in your relationship with your significant other/kids/dating
life (as applicable). Most people -- whether it's your wife of 10 years or the
guy you met at Starbucks yesterday -- appreciate a dinner cooked from $20 of
groceries to a $200 dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant. If you have a
significant other, they've probably dealt with numerous cases of "hey sorry
I'm really stressed I just want to come home, smoke some pot, eat some
takeout, watch Game of Thrones and pass out". If this was the norm for you
with your previous job, time to break out of that pattern.

------
s73ver
If you haven't done so, spend a couple weeks on a beach (or something else
relaxing). Second, you've got that breadth of knowledge, but now you want some
depth. Pick something, even if that means you throw a dart at a wall, and try
getting a job doing that. Not a startup job, but a regular, 9-5, normal
company job. Odds are, that will let you kinda focus on something. If that
doesn't work out, go back to the dartboard, and try again.

------
mholmes680
Everyone else said the same thing as each other, so i'll try a different tact:
For long term success, you need to figure out what YOU want. Whats your ideal,
practical situation where you will be happy. Manager; Take a break, lay low
for a few years more; start another company; get out of tech; start a family?
Whats the IDEAL scenario for _you_. From there, you can develop a system
instead of a goal.

------
arunaugustine
Making a rough outline, _any_ outline of a series of steps over a period of
time that you would take, to fix your biggest concern (source of income after
one year) will take your sub-conscious problem-solver/worrier off the case.
This will give you more presence of mind in the present moment. Which in-turn
will help you to dig deep, really listen to your heart about the next journey
in life you really want to undertake.

Perhaps, begin again.

------
GFischer
Have you thought about getting some counseling or therapy? CBT Therapists are
pretty good at working on the kind of mental exhaustion and feelings you
mention. There probably are some wherever you are. My S.O. felt she was a
failure and therapy helped her immensely.

They do suggest a lot of things that are being mentioned here :) (like
atemerev's 2nd suggestion)

------
aargh_aargh
It seems like HN is trying to tell you something:

[http://i.imgur.com/5VriS9I.png](http://i.imgur.com/5VriS9I.png)

------
adderollen
I'm kind of in the same place as you are! However, I have less experience than
you have. I've tried to take some time off, think through what I really want
to do, and then try to get a job which takes me there. Thinking of joining a
new early stage startup, but I think I need a break from the pre-seed chaos
and join something that is rather post Series A at least.

Drink some beer, that is good for you!

------
plehoux
Experiment, create and take on fun/small projects just for the fun of it. You
like music, experiment with music. You like games, code small
demos/prototypes. You like science/data visualization, do that. Find the joy,
don't be too serious.

In 2010 I barely knew how to code, was a bit depressed. I started doing small
JS/C experiments/art projects for a few months... changed me forever.

------
timwaagh
sounds like you did very well. i see so many people who are posting 'you don't
sound like a failure to me'. i think saying something like that is basically
an insult. im the same age you are and look how many companies i founded: lol.
you have some money. you have a good amount of experience. so perhaps just
start looking for a job as a PO or something higher up. VP, CIO, maybe.
whatever is available. you sound like the person who is not satisfied with
just doing dev work. and i completely agree, it is not really that great.
mostly get something that pays well and has good career prospects. I'm pretty
sure people will hire a guy who has your experience. i dont think a year's
worth of money is enough to retire quite yet, so you will need a job
eventually and i think the sooner the better because burning through savings
is no fun. i'd invest the savings in something with a decent yield (stocks,
property). having your capital as cash on a bank seems a bit of a waste.

------
imron
Take a year off and go and study Chinese in China.

When you come back, you'll still have 6+ months runway and a completely
different perspective on things.

------
moron4hire
Maybe a change of scenery would help? Or discovering new things in your
current neighborhood. I've always found discovery to be the best way to get
out of a funk. Sometimes, the hardest thing is just putting the shoes on and
stepping out the door. But if you can get that done, just walk down the block
to a corner you've never been to and see where it takes you.

------
a3n
A: You started from zero and gained medium skills. If you do another one,
maybe you'll start from medium and gain excellent.

Or, B: Nomad for awhile.

------
wmil
Buy a copy of the book "Starting Strength" and hit the gym each morning. The
early results will boost your self esteem and getting to the gym is an easy
'win' on days when you're struggling with your career.

Right now you're number one risk is falling into a melancholy funk. Strength
training will help avoid that.

------
srameshc
Count on your strengths. You see yourself in a disaster. But many will still
see that A Success. You succssfully raised series A and your company is
acquired. A lot worse could have happened, but you came out well. You are a
lot successful than you think you are and it's time you count your success.
Elevate your success to the next level.Good Luck.

------
pfarnsworth
You have money in the bank from the deal. That's better than 80% of the
startups out there. You are not a failure. Take a break, go on vacation and
rejuvenate your love for technology. Don't make any plans and see where things
are after your break. You're young with a certain level of success, enjoy
yourself!

------
tmaly
If you can, I suggest you take a little time to travel if it is possible for
you. Go to some countries with very low costs if saving money is a concern.

Try some new foods, exercise, write a journal of everything you learned. Just
try to decompress for a few weeks.

Then you can start fresh with some good energy and direction.

------
lordnacho
Network. You're in a similar to me when I left my previous firm. What you
don't realise when you're going full throttle is how many people want to talk
to you.

Catch up with old friends. Catch up with new friends. Get perspective. You
have breathing room with a year's income in the bank.

------
Spooky23
Don't undercut yourself. The fact that you had a >$0 exit is a victory of
sorts.

I guarantee you know a hell of a lot more about those things that you think
you have shallow knowledge of. You also had the perspective of someone who did
everything without the luxury of heading home and not worrying about it.

------
ljf
At your next start-up (which I am sure you will start in time) try this:
[https://medium.com/flow/lazy-
leadership-8ba19e34f959#.afzawx...](https://medium.com/flow/lazy-
leadership-8ba19e34f959#.afzawx2jq)

------
rport
#Interesting. Time for a lot more reflection I'd suggest! When you wear a lot
of hats you have to be clear on the role, responsibility and kpi's for each
hat do that one day you can train someone to take over the role. #KeepLearning
#DontGiveUp

------
CodeWriter23
Get a copy of Richard Bach's "Illusions". Go for a hike somewhere beautiful,
then read it in a day. Might sound like a load of crap but doing that changed
my life and got my head out of the future and my heart into the present.
(((((BIG HUG)))))

------
droithomme
This is very common in the industry, common enough to be predictable.
Congratulations on your buy out. Take some well earned time off. Maybe do a
bit of traveling. During this time you might come up with your next big idea,
or be in the space to do so.

------
maxxxxx
Use your money and take off for a few months. It's much easier to get
perspective when you are not exhausted. In my view you have gained a lot of
valuable experience that will be useful for more startups of your won or some
other company.

------
cdnsteve
The good thing about running your own business is you get experience in number
of careers all at once.

What parts of your job did you enjoy the most?

\- Engineering/Early innovation?

\- Management

\- Product

\- Sales/Marketing?

What parts did you enjoy the least and stress out about, other than being a
business owner?

Take that and run with it.

------
MrDosu
I was in a similar situation and it was a godsend.

Go explore the world, hike, find love. Afterwards you won't believe what kind
of energy you will have. It will be like the start of career 'i can do
anything' level!

------
metaphorm
ah, don't sweat it dude. you're not a huge failure. you've already done much
more than most people have attempted at your age and the real truth is that
most companies go out of business. as long as you treated people fairly and
behaved professionally then you should be proud of yourself.

what kind of work do you enjoy most? you've tried a few different roles now.
focus in on the one that feels best. you have a CS background so maybe you
want to get back into software development as a programmer.

------
ankurdhama
> I've decided to apply for some jobs but I'm not sure which position I may
> fit in

Well if you are not sure then there is only one way to figure it out - apply
and see what you find interesting.

------
bitwize
Resume your hustle of course. Either start your next company or find a job at
a place you like. This is _a_ setback in a life that's not in full swing yet.
Go get it!

------
madeel
Think the best you can be, in your eyes NOT the world. Life becomes simpler
that way.

\- Rent a place in a new neighbourhood \- Go to gym \- Take longer naps \-
Laugh without reason

------
corobo
> I had to wear too many hats

As you've got experience of many hats were there any hats in particular that
you did enjoy? You're at a great junction for specialisation right now.

------
feelix
This is an awesome opportunity (aside from the disappointment) to go
traveling, and reset, develop as an individual, and get re-inspired for
whatever you do next in life.

------
theprop
Laugh! Cry! Celebrate! Don't worry!

Don't worry at all...you're a HUGE success in terms of having something you
built get acquired and still be alive and having created two things that even
went anywhere! Keep expenses low & not to worry!

If not doing something is driving you nuts, start doing something...could be
quite menial work, but something to get your mind focused on anything...and
then thinking a bit about the next project / chapter. Could be learning
something new, sports, another new skill, anything...

In terms of another company/project, I think it's important to find a great
partner/partners or at least folks to brainstorm on.

------
philip1209
If common stock is worth anything - you may want to talk to a personal lawyer
about whether you qualify for double-trigger acceleration. This could be a
good thing.

~~~
beambot
> We had to sold it to one of our competitors at a price of one tenth of the
> our series A valuation.

In this instance, with any sort of standard liquidation preference and
dilution (i.e. 20% investor ownership), common stock was probably worthless.

------
ztratar
If you want to talk about this personally with a professional, use
[https://getboost.io](https://getboost.io)

~~~
kornish
Disclaimer: Zach is one of the cofounders of Boost.

(generally it's nice to let people know when you're plugging your own service)

Is Boost a chatbot or actual live chat with a human? Couldn't tell from the
website.

------
bradgnar
If you've got that range of skills you'd probably be a really good product
owner/manager at a big company. There's always that avenue.

------
dwills1
All of the advice to throw a dart or work for a big company is bunk. What
product/service area do you love? Find a niche in a corner of that
service/product area that needs something, and then provide it. "Choose a job
you love and you will never work a day in your life" has a corollary which is
"You will succeed doing what you love to do - it might not make you a
millionaire overnight, but you will be happy". If in the end the only thing
that makes you happy is money, you've got much bigger problems.

------
abhishekash
At just 29 with such entrepreneurial experience is an awesome feat plus money
in the bank for an year is a blessing from my point of view.

What you really need is just plain vanilla positive intent and outlook and you
would sail past this crossroad.

What i would do is : Go for a road trip or travel somewhere may be Nepal for a
fortnight. Get energized and come back with lots of positive energy. Skill
wise don't bother much. All great entrepreneurs have felt this way at some
point in their life but now are multi-billionaire because of their tenacity

------
passive
Fix people's problems.

Whatever level of expertise you have in any area, there is someone you should
be able to find quickly who can benefit from it.

------
manoj_venkat92
You from India? Looks like your startup is one of the fallouts that are
happening in Indian startup ecosystem.

------
stela
Hii can you help me for a fb account to hack a facebook plzz its really
important and urgent !!!!

------
owens99
we are a super small team approaching series A. would love to see if you like
what we are doing and if there's a good fit for you to join us. your
experience would be invaluable as a senior leader. twitter in my profile.
check us out and contact me if interested

------
cuongt
Failure is the price of success:

    
    
       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnAmqAXottQ

------
zok
Stay fresh. Opportunity is always always there what changes is who is
involved. GL at home.

------
sigi45
How about just apply to different jobs, talk to the companies? Its not that
complicated.

------
cyberviewer
Start trading cryptocurrencies. Learn about fintech and blockchain Profit

Good luck

------
syedkarim
I'll hire you. Email is in my profile.

------
nicostouch
Invest in digibyte. It's the future.

------
niftylettuce
Toss me an email niftylettuce@gmail.com

------
cientifico
Just leave the comfort zone.

------
make3
... What do you want to do?

------
probinso
Go to school for biology

------
saganus
As someone who is feeling like I'm starting to climb out of a multi-year
burnout episode, I can tell you that you are definitely not a failure, even
though it definitely does feel like it.

I believe I know exactly how you feel because up until about a few days ago, I
also considered myself a failure, for similar reasons.

It's hard to compare apples to oranges of course, but in my case and just to
give a bit of background, I quit my job while being part of team that created
a very successful product for a Fortune 500 company ("failure" #1), my
girlfriend left me 3 months after that, after 6+ years of relationship
("failure" #2), I felt my startup wasn't working and I felt trapped so I also
left my startup, which didn't even had more than 3 customers ("failure" #3),
meanwhile I pretty much lost all my savings ("failure" #4).

So, to sum up: no girlfriend, no money, no job, no startup... no nothing. Just
3 or 4 friends that endured while at my darkest moments.

After feeling like I failed at everything important in my life I felt lost.
Like trying to sail the open sea during a cloudy night without navigation
instruments, and not even knowing where was I supposed to port. I even felt so
lost that I sometimes wasn't sure if I had a boat at all, or if there even was
any sea left to navigate.

I know this is pretty "cliché" advice, but I can tell you that the feeling
_will_ go away at some point. It might take you yearS, but it will come. You
just have to let all the experiences that you lived through settle down, so
you can start seeing a path (or paths) in your life again.

Do not underestimate the amount of information you just got slammed with, that
you haven't had the chance to process. And I don't mean only knowledge or
skills, I mean emotionally.

Going through something as intense as having a company, and then (and this I
can only imagine) having to sell it under such conditions, sets your brain and
emotions into overdrive, just to be able to figure out what's going on, let
alone to actually make anything out of it.

Don't push it. Just let it rest and things will start to get sorted in time.
Of course, you still need to keep an eye open to avoid falling into a deep(er)
depression, but other than that, I believe you just need to ride the wave.
That's just part of the trip. And a necessary one at that.

In my case, I felt so disconnected to everyone else, because in my mind I was
_that_ guy that just can't make anything work, you know? "hey, look, he can't
even keep a healthy relationship". "wow, that guy is _such_ a failure, I mean,
he just quit his job for some stupid dream! what a loser!", "incredible how
stupid can some people be, right? I mean, who in his right mind would invest
his life savings into such an stupid idea!?", and so on and so forth.

 _However_ , what you are not seeing (and will soon enough), is that after you
process that boatload of experience, you will feel like king of the world. You
might still be in the gutter (hopefully not, but it is possible), but you will
feel like you at least were able to fought some of your most powerful inner
demons and came out of it alive. Maybe you didn't beat the hell out of every
demon, but you certainly punched more than one very hard and fast. And that
feels _fucking great_ once you realize what you just did.

You just got what I believe would be equivalent to a Master's degree. And I
don't say that to be dismissive to people with actual degrees, but after the
amount of stuff you had to do, what you had to prove to yourself and others,
what you had to build (even without the slightest clue of how), I definitely
consider it as a GREAT achievement, regardless of the "tangible" outcome (i.e.
money, sales, etc).

Building things ex-nihilo is one of the hardest things I've experienced, but
it also gives you such a perspective on the world that, even though I have no
money, my personal relationships got strained and in some cases even broken, I
have no job and I'm still in the process of getting job interviews, while at
the same time having no money (and even a bit of debt), no savings, and pretty
much nothing to show for what I did the last 4 years... I'd still do it again.

And I believe that after the dust settles, you will believe you'd do it all
over again too (and you just might!).

So just hang in there. Trust me, this will pass and you will be much MUCH
stronger and wise thanks to it.

I can even adventure to say that you will look back at this and remember it as
one of your best experiences in your life. Not necessarily the most pleasant
though, but one of the best nonetheless.

Cheers!

