
Japanese 'rent men' who are paid just to listen - shawndumas
https://www.yahoo.com/news/japanese-rent-men-paid-just-listen-045544065.html?ref=gs
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tyre
We have this in America as well.

Have a friend who was a stripper in SF, she had customers that would pay her
just to sit and talk with them. I interviewed an escort once and she had
similar stories.

Additionally, this is a huge part of hospice care. Incredible article
recently[0] in the New Yorker about this.

[0]: [http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/07/11/the-work-of-
a-h...](http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/07/11/the-work-of-a-hospice-
nurse)

~~~
dominotw
We'll have a huge number of childless old people in a couple of decades. I am
hoping for huge number of young immigrants who will be recruited to provide
emotional companionship.

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Spooky23
That means they need to be friends. Friendship among peers is a two way
street, which isn't what folks like this want.

A therapist, escort, paid companion, etc is ultimately there to serve.

~~~
MaysonL
_" Better to go down dignified

With boughten friendship at your side

Than none at all. Provide, provide!"_

[http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/provide-
provide/](http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/provide-provide/)

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AstroJetson
Pretty interesting article. Maybe when I get sick of "Will do tech for food",
I can pivot into that.

But it also happens here to. There is a kid that mows my neighbor's (who is
85) yard and he's there for three hours. 45 mins to mow and the rest of the
time talking. He gets about $35 for it, makes both of them happy.

~~~
gist
I know someone who is an Apple Tech certified consultant (don't know the exact
wording but he's listed at Apple or something like that). Anyway he was
telling me about some rich clients, people that pay him to come and do things
as simple updating the software (you know a menu option) and it sounded to me
like a version of keeping someone who is lonely and giving them a chance to
talk to someone more than anything. (Not discounting some (especially older)
people's fear of tech which is real, but the time he would take wasn't exactly
'get in and get out as quickly as possible'). Plus he is a super friendly nice
guy (who really talks to much) so I kind of got the impression that was
actually a benefit to his clients.

~~~
Spooky23
I had a few gigs like this in college.

It's more than lonliness -- people like being connected to people outside of
their circle, especially young people. One couple I did computer and odd
electrical jobs for were a semi-retired power couple (neurosurgeon, big cheese
at med school + big attorney) who were not at a loss for company.

I got the sense that they liked talking to young folks without the baggage
that comes with interacting with their own kids. Also, many rich people enjoy
paying people to do things for a variety of reasons.

~~~
gist
When I was younger I had an older guy (who was sort of an admired quasi mentor
type) that would always want to take me out to dinner. He usually had an
agenda and something that he wanted to know. But at some point he said that
"he really liked out interactions" and I got the idea he just liked hanging
out with younger people. I didn't need the free meal (he always paid however I
owned a business and made money at the time) but it felt good that someone who
was older and successful took an interest in hearing what I had to say.

> I got the sense that they liked talking to young folks without the baggage
> that comes with interacting with their own kids

For sure. Your kids don't always realize that you are acting in their own
interest (but of course there is also an agenda as well typically) whereas a
non-kid-of-yours thinks you are acting in their interest.

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kiba
Slightly related: I once watched a documentary about a man managing an acting
agency where people hired someone to act as a daughter, parent, etc.

When he finally disclosed his business to his wife, she's like, "who care?"

All that dramatic tension just melted away.

Hiring people to simply talk to seems like yet another manifestation of
whatever is happening in Japanese society.

~~~
mc32
In some places people hire "mourners" others hire other people to add "volume"
to their events. But these aren't as much psychological fillers as much as
devices to save face.

~~~
gist
Reminds me of "claque" people hired as professional applauders:

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claque](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claque)

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drpgq
Is Japan especially lonely compared to other advanced nations?

~~~
welanes
Haven't spent more than a month there however I always got the sense that it's
'harder' to be Japanese (same goes for Korean) than it is to be a Westerner.

Complex social hierarchies, deference to the boss, deference to family and
elders, suppressing individualism and the overbearing pressure to conform.

Especially though, having to stop at every single pedestrian crossing even
though the road is one metre wide and there's not a car or a cop for
kilometres.

More than a few months of that and - bam - seppuku for me.

~~~
yannyu
I was nearly tackled for jaywalking across an empty traffic light intersection
at 3am in Shinjuku. It ended up being a 3 hour ordeal that involved 15 cops
and a quick police car ride to my train locker.

Worth noting were the 10 obvious foreigners (my friends) that jaywalked ahead
of me, which made me think I was singled out because I looked Japanese.

~~~
swang
I've seen a couple of Japanese jaywalk during my trip. But I guess not at 3am
though.

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JetSpiegel
Isn't this just a non-professional psychologist?

~~~
azernik
Pretty much. Note the line at the beginning: "clients who would never dream of
spilling their guts to a therapist or worse, their families." This is in some
ways an end-run around the stigma attached to psychological treatment in Japan
(and most other countries).

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seesomesense
In the Western world we call them psychoanalysts.

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heroyogi123
Entertainment & Time pass (SMS 9278131800) heroyogi123@yahoo.com Hopefully —
once you’ve given somebody a massage — you will get one in return.3 (Three)
Plans: (1) Social Economy Plan (2) Like Close Friends Plan (3) Blind Love of
Fun & Fooling around Party for selected (M) 9278131800

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mrmondo
Isn't this potentially just a form of talk therapy? Yes the person listen has
no medical training and that /could/ be dangerous, but neither do you friends
and if you have they you talk to them, perhaps some people just don't have
friends or perhaps need an 'air gap' and need someone with some distance from
their lives to hear them out so they can't talk things through out loud?
Personally - I think it sounds interesting and potentially therapeutic.

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0x006A
The Uber of Psychology

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rhizome
They're like a male, extremely casual and simplified, version of Geisha
(perhaps so much so to render the comparison meaningless, I'll admit). I
wonder if Japan has much use for life-coaches, which also sound a bit related
to this (less coaching?), but within Japanese culture and traditions this may
be the way those needs are met.

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failrate
This is an elegant premise for a drama. Something that Jarmusch could make
great hay with.

