

Falling in love will cost you two close friends - inmygarage
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11321282

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ardit33
I wonder how many close friends does a startup cost too?

I am guessing If you are a founder, your time for social life will be very
very limited, and a startup will cost 2 or more close friends.

One thing I found out, is that in general (for guys at least) is very easy to
catch up and reconnect even after a long period of time of disconnect, as long
as they are in the same stage lifes (eg. both being single, or not having
kids, or both having a domestic life and kids, etc.). The disconnect becomes
more permament when one enters a completely different stage of the life
(having kids, will the major one), than the other friend.

~~~
bkrausz
I think this is one of the biggest perks of YC: I have _more_ friends because
I did it, not fewer. I met some of my closest friends there (and even got
introduced to my girlfriend through one of them).

Seems like a net gain to me ;-).

~~~
robryan
Even without something like YC it gives you to opportunity to connect with
others doing startups, as long as your city has a startup/ coworking
ecosystem. Probably met more people and had way more interesting conversations
since getting involved.

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lmkg
When I went to orientation when I entered college, they were very explicit not
to start intimate relationships until a month or two in (after the first chem
test). One reason was we would find out how hard college really was and could
judge whether we could afford that commitment, but another reason they gave
was that you wouldn't develop friendships with other people nearly as much,
and you needed that broader support group to help you in college. Plus heaven
forbid you break up, and find yourself with no social circle at all.

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jlees
Working as intended.

Of course, the fun part is when you break up after a long relationship where
your social circles are very mixed. You run the risk of losing _all_ your
friends. Which sucks.

~~~
presidentender
I had a relationship in which I attempted to maintain separate social circles
as much as possible for this very reason - we had overlapping friends, but I
encouraged her to keep a separate group of "her friends" with whom I would not
go hang out, mostly girls. She'd invite me frequently, and this became a major
bone of contention... This was a contributing factor to the downfall of that
relationship.

On the upside, _I_ didn't lose any friends. On the downside, she lost many.

~~~
pkulak
Sounds like if you had just not tried this little experiment you'd still be
with her and have double the friends.

~~~
presidentender
I do not disagree.

~~~
Goosey
This thread reads like an 'A Softer World' comic. :(

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10ren
Corollary: them falling in love will cost you a close friend, 40% of the time.

~~~
nlavezzo
Not if you're the most awesome friend they have though... So if your friend
starts falling in love, step up your friend game ASAP. Getting in good w/ the
new significant other is probably also a good move.

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jedwhite
Working on a startup will cost you the rest :)

And probably the love relationship too!

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lukev
This is a classic case of statistics being useless. Are we actually supposed
to avoid falling in love because of this negative effect?

It's like knowing that 50% of marriages end up in divorce. True, and damn
irrelevant when trying to decide if _you_ should propose or not. Individual
marriages have either a 100% or 0% chance of success, and calculating the
probability of those outcomes is not greatly informed by the "national
average."

~~~
philwelch
_It's like knowing that 50% of marriages end up in divorce. True, and damn
irrelevant when trying to decide if you should propose or not. Individual
marriages have either a 100% or 0% chance of success, and calculating the
probability of those outcomes is not greatly informed by the "national
average."_

Not true at all.

The subjective probability (which is all you have to make a decision from) is
reflected by incomplete information, but is never 100%.

But even the objective probability (as far as such a concept is even coherent)
isn't either 0 or 100. It's somewhere in between. Maybe under one set of
circumstances the marriage will work out perfectly, but under another set of
circumstances it won't. That's random. In one possible world the husband could
arrive home at 5:12 and find his wife with another man, in another possible
world he arrives home at 5:17 to find his wife freshly showered. That's
random, or at least stochastic enough. In one possible world a stray gamma ray
gives their child leukemia and the couple grow closer by going through the
experience together, in another possible world no such thing happens, the
husband goes back to work shortly after the child is born and slowly becomes
alienated from his wife until divorce happens. Think you have a good enough
marriage that adultery or alienation aren't going to become problems? Well
throw in the multitude of circumstances which can cause people to change over
time, and you'll find random factors there, too.

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Sadranyc
Close friends will be there for you even if you don't see them as frequently
as before.

~~~
Psyonic
No true scotsman...

~~~
Sadranyc
Sorry, I meant TRUE close friends. Done.

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vdoma
I call bullshit. The very definition of close friends is that they are close,
whether you spend less time with them or not. I've got friends across the
country and we're very close even though we meet a only few times a year.

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osopoderoso
the title of the post make me wonder what happens when you have only one close
friend, you can't fall in love because you can't afford the exchange?

~~~
wtracy
The content of the article gives me hope that starting a relationship will
cause me to gain a close friend. :-D

~~~
rjbond3rd
What you have written brings a tear to my eye.

