
She was the “queen of the mommy bloggers” - mooreds
https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/4/25/18512620/dooce-heather-armstrong-depression-valedictorian-of-being-dead
======
Noos
It's tough because you have to acknowledge that the hate comes from other
women, in part because the mommy bloggers are selling an idealized identity of
women; the charmingly neurotic upper class woman with a loving but quirky
husband, a picture-perfect house, beautiful kids, and plenty of instagrammable
emotional moments and experiences.

I don't think us guys generally have that same pressure about being males,
because we know a lot of it is just impossible. You can admire Elon Musk, but
we know its near impossible to be him. But the mommy blogger is a lot closer
to women, yet in many ways is as unrealistic to be.

------
EwanG
Dooce aka Heather Armstrong - has been down quite a long path and it's hard to
believe she's been at it over 10 years.

------
drharby
The law of large numbers stipulates that given sufficient volume of data
points, there is always a mean value that generaly gets converged upon, with a
standard deviation of course.

I fear that public online presence is subject to a similar law of social
interaction wear the audience is more prone to malicious tone and judgement in
an online environment.

Every forum i know has a favorite hate child to harp on, from the safety of
ones chair. Any one willing to let their online presence affect their mental
health is in for a bad time

------
nothingnewhere
"Armstrong no doubt had privilege — she was white, straight, wealthy,
beautiful" Yeah check your privilege. Reading this makes me feel nauseous.

~~~
0815test
What's wrong with pointing out that someone is wealthy and beautiful, and that
this might make them more likely to succeed? Halo-effect is a thing.

~~~
deogeo
Would you feel the same if 'white' was replaced with 'Jewish'? It correlates
even more with success, e.g. they are over-represented at Harvard by a factor
of ~5 [1].

[1] [https://www.hillel.org/college-guide/list/record/harvard-
uni...](https://www.hillel.org/college-guide/list/record/harvard-university)

~~~
traderjane
I hear people say that being Christian gives you an advantage with American
authorities, like with police or immigration. Is that true? Jews have a long
history of being marginalized by majority powers, which is why this kind of
discussion is viewed in a different light than saying that wealthy people have
privilege.

Would you respond to a discussion about Christian privilege with a counter
about the privileged Muslim people you’ve met in your life? Do you feel like
that’s a fitting response?

~~~
deogeo
I think it is appropriate to point out that we are only allowed to notice some
forms of privilege and not others, yes.

~~~
traderjane
That article doesn't try to force such constraints, and should be in line with
your thinking then.

And what forms of privilege vs others are we talking about? The article
mentioned (1) race (2) sexuality (3) beauty.

So are you bothered the article discusses white privilege without discussing
latino, black, or asian privilege? Are you bothered the article didn't mention
enough about bisexual or gay privilege? Or that the article didn't mention
privilege of ugly people?

Or was it the Jews, since you brought them up, and it looks like you want to
engage seriously on Jewish privilege. Did you really just want to talk about
Jewish privilege?

~~~
deogeo
If you think we shouldn't talk about ethnic privilege, why did you only take
issue with my post, and not 0815test's, who first defended it?

Only allowing talk of it when it concerns white people is hypocritical - it's
either all fair game, or none of it.

You asked what I wanted to talk about - that's pretty much it.

------
nathanaldensr
Why in the hell is this posted--and _upvoted_ \--on HN? Come on, people.

~~~
lusmd
A coder broke into a new genre of website and very successfully monetized it.
Yes, why indeed would HN be interested in this /female/ part of Internet
culture and commerce?

~~~
dang
Please don't start a gender flamewar, or any flamewar. Also, be kind and not
snarky. These are important parts of the site guidelines:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html](https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html)

HN readers are interested in lots of different things. That's actually the
point of this site. Not everyone is interested in the same things, though, and
sometimes people complain about what appears here, even though the guidelines
ask them not to. Even if someone does that, please don't respond by breaking
the guidelines worse yourself.

Edit: I also feel like someone should defend the HN community against the
implied slight in what you posted here. It isn't good to make such misleading
insinuations, because (a) they worsen the problem you're complaining about,
and (b) they're not true. To see the latter, look no further than
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19822123](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19822123),
which has a similar topic to this one and is currently at #3 on HN's front
page. This quite interesting thread, which spent most of yesterday on the
front page, is another example:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19804772](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19804772).
Edit: and now we have Ethiopian midwives at #10:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19837216](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19837216).

