

21 Day No Complaint Experiment - jlthom2113
http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2007/09/18/real-mind-control-the-21-day-no-complaint-experiment/

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old-gregg
I don't really share everyone's obsession with fighting "negativity". Actually
I find the lack of nonconstructive bitching to be quite annoying: sometimes
that's exactly what's needed.

I bet the public pressure to always appear "positive" makes people feel
oppressed: perhaps that's the underlying emotional background that feeds
audiences to shows like "South Park" and rants like Zed Shaw's. Because force-
fed "positivity" is everywhere: from bloodless CNN reporting of wars to always
happy-ending movies. George Carlin's famous "pussification of English" is like
an entire nation wearing invisible bracelets like these. To me that's
borderline to orwellian doublespeak.

Fake "positiveness" comes at a cost. Both big corporations I worked for were
filled with always-smiling, "outgoing, positive team players" who'd pollute
everything they say with "great, awesome, tremendous" and other positive
reinforcers that lost all their meaning because of overuse, while real
problems tend to be overlooked and forgotten - nobody wants to be _that
asshole_. My experience at startups has been the opposite: no time/money for
fake bullshitting, _"this sucks and needs to be better"_ isn't a taboo, it's
almost a mantra.

~~~
Elepsis
I would argue that "this sucks and needs to be better" is actually not
included in Ferriss's definition of a complaint. By saying that _it needs to
be better_ you are 90 percent of the way to also stating the steps you'll
actually take to improve it.

I like this concept not because of its "negativity-fighting" aspects, but
because it tries to cultivate a problem-solving mindset. That, at least,
should be near and dear to most of us.

~~~
tigerthink
OK, so how about the example at the beginning of the article when the author
was complaining about how difficult it was to resize photos on his Mac? Do you
suppose it's enough that the "this needs to be better" was implied, or do you
think he should have added something else?

Like it or not, a lot of the time the things that suck _can't_ feasibly be
improved by yourself.

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sketerpot
This sounds a lot like Benjamin Franklin's system for improving his personal
conduct: he made some rules for himself (e.g. "always be punctual") and
recorded infractions in a spreadsheet. He says it was remarkably effective.
Me, I'm just tickled that he tried to solve one of mankind's great problems
through the use of a spreadsheet.

~~~
JoelSutherland
The first rule given in Dale Carnegie's _How to Win Friends and Influence
People_ is:

Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

He makes it clear that by "Don't" he means "Never".

~~~
Confusion
There are many things many people would never learn if no one criticized their
behaviour.

A corollary: there are many startups that would never have gotten of the
ground if friends of the 'owners' hadn't criticised their ideas. Criticism is
informative. It informs you of weak spots you easily overlook, it forces you
to explain your idea and think about it much deeper than you ever would if no
one criticised you.

Don't condemn or complain: maybe. Don't criticize: that would really be very
wasteful.

~~~
JoelSutherland
Agreed, but it is worth clarifying Carnegie's statement:

 _When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures
of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with
prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity._

More often than not, a criticism does not have the intended effect. Our
instinct in the face of criticism is to become defensive.

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Raplh
I have been wearing this bracelet for around 30 days. It is educational to
discover, in my case, that there are certain types of family gatherings where
the default behavior has me moving the bracelet back and forth across wrists
many times.

I got a hold of it through United Centers for Spiritual Living, which talks
about a lot of stuff along the lines of "Change your thinking, change your
life." I've been working with it for a few months. If it turns out to be
great, I'll let you know. So far, so good.

They do trace themselves back to Ralph Waldo Emerson and Franklin, and
generally call themselves the "New Thought" movement.

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SapphireSun
I don't see why you need to stop complaining. The only step required here is
adding a potential solution at the end of the thought process.

For instance, I could say: "John is such an asshole. Here is plan A for
avoiding or removing this behavior in the future." Using kiddie words like
"Muppet" makes me cringe. At least be honest inside your own head.

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tigerthink
>that word choice determines thought choice, which determines emotions and
actions

Alright. So what's wrong with thinking that things suck? Sometimes they do,
right? If there really is no way to improve a situation, does it make sense to
feel hopeless about it?

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gcheong
Interesting that he states only the positive changes he observed as a result
of his "experiment". Not a single drawback? Almost as if they are forgone
conclusions from his (IMO) rather dubious premises. It's enough to make one
wonder if positivity is so "positive" why it would it would require so much
attention to change.

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christofd
Cool experiment. Dares work well.

OTOH... I recall reading in an online post recently (can't find it) that
healthy people vent their anger openly and that anger is a natural thing. It's
the getting negative that poisons thoughts.

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michael_dorfman
Surprisingly substantive, coming from Tim Ferriss. Usually, reading his things
makes me feel a bit skeevy, but I actually liked this one.

