
Ask HN: Office merge. They have a pet policy. I'm scared of dogs. What can I do? - throwawaydog
My employer will soon be merging two of its offices into a new site. The new space is open plan (desks, not cubicles) and will hold about 100 people. The other place has a &#x27;bring your dog to work&#x27; policy, but I&#x27;m quite uncomfortable having dogs running around me.<p>Personally (and the opinion of others in my office) is that the idea that you&#x27;d bring your pets to work is rediculous, but from a quick browse of the Internet it seems to have mixed opinions.<p>Am I right to bring it up that the dog should go, or should I try not to make waves?
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qntty
I like dogs but I wouldn't want to work in an office with dogs running around.
I would definitely ask for a dog free zone (at the very least) if it were me.
You're definitely not wrong to be weirded out by it. Working outside on a farm
with dogs is one thing, but offices are no place for animals that might have
energy to burn by running around (imo).

That being said, definitely consider meeting some nice dogs to convince
yourself that they're not so scary. If you're feeling ambitious, go to a dog
park and ask people if it's okay to pet their dog. Hold out the back of your
hand to let it sniff you before you pet it, and move toward it slowly to gauge
it's level of comfort. These little fears are worth taking the time to
overcome.

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partisan
I'm all for freedoms until they infringe on the freedoms of others. You
shouldn't have to go to work in a place where you don't feel comfortable.
Raise the issue. Any responsible and reasonable employer would either nix the
policy or find a way to accommodate your situation in some way.

~~~
coldnose
I'm uncomfortable around (and supremely irritated by) human babies, but it's
pretty common to let people bring their awful babies into an office. Those
babies don't work here, and they have no business being here, but I guess
human parents feel they have some legitimate reason to bring them to work. In
a fair world, I don't see how dogs are any different.

~~~
Osiris
They bring them to work, set them in a bouncer, and then proceed to work the
entire day while the baby is there?

The most I've ever seen is a few minutes of someone bring in their child to
show some co-workers before after heading out to lunch or home.

If someone is bringing their baby in while they are working for the whole day,
I think it would be reasonable to ask them to find child care options.

~~~
Tomte
Yes, I've only seen the same. Having children at the office for a work day
isn't sensible. Except when it's actually provided for:

At a large company I was interviewing at they showed us an open-floor office
for employees whose babysitter was missing on that day (or a sick spouse or
whatever).

The employees could just grab their laptop, and take a desk in that office for
a day.

In front of all the desks was a glass wall. Behind it a kindergarten, so that
the parents could see their child and the children were occupied.

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twunde
Usually most people bringing in dogs are very considerate and the dogs are
usually very well behaved (certainly won't bite you). I would talk to HR, it's
possible that they may have some way of helping you deal with it, possibly a
section of the space where dogs aren't allowed.

~~~
ecspike
We have a dog policy at my work but you have to house the pet in a specified
meeting room and only move it when in transit to walk the dog or leave. That
also means that there's generally a limit of one dog at a time.

We also had someone who loved dogs but was deathly allergic.

Like everyone said, talk to HR. They will figure something out.

~~~
throwawaydog
Thanks, sounds like just bringing it up would be fine (and hopefully doesn't
end up labling me a dog hater!).

The whole pets policy seems crazy to me, what's to stop me bringing my SO to
work because I enjoy her company.

Do you think it's just convenient for the owner, or is there something behind
letting people bring pets to work?

~~~
anexprogrammer
Having worked two places where this was possible, there's a number of
advantages.

Everyone in the office became a fan of the mutt, and I had lots of volunteers
for lunchtime walks! Including the lady who was wary of German Shepherds at
the start, who ended up curing her phobia "Oh it's only him, he's harmless".

He'd sleep near the desk until someone came over to talk to him, and as a
result I wasn't clock watching quite so much (must go, dog needs out). A few
heads would sometimes turn when he was having a drink (not so quiet). If I was
away from desk he'd just go and settle near one of his other friends.

I felt much better towards both employers as a result.

A lot is going to depend on how well trained they are - lots of barking and
running around will drive everyone crazy. Me included.

~~~
chris_7
I work in an office with a dog. I detest it, the dog distracts me constantly
with barking and such. I genuinely believe that the dog has a negative
financial effect on the company - I'd be much more productive without it, and
productivity is $$$. However, I would never say anything, as this could lead
to me being ostracized as a non-"team-player".

Something to keep in mind when all feedback on an element workplace
environment is positive.

~~~
anexprogrammer
I'm very easily distracted - lifelong ADD. If he'd barked he'd have stayed at
home. Apart from the distraction it'd reflect on me the owner. It's pretty
easy to train most breeds to stay quiet, though some of the small terrier
types seem hardwired to bark. I'm not a fan of constantly yapping things.

Obviously I can't know if anyone was quietly against, but the woman who said
she was wary because of breed was a quick convert. If she hadn't been he'd
have stayed home and spend the day on the sofa - as he had in my previous job.

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bluedino
I had a job where it was okay to bring your dog in - my dog was well-behaved,
more quiet and lazy than anything. She'd just sit under my desk the whole day,
just like she would if we were at home. She'd get up and wander around if I
went to use the bathroom or to the kitchen, and being 130lbs she would startle
people.

On the other hand, a co-worker would bring her dog in and the thing would non-
stop run around the office, sliding into things, barking incessantly, knocking
over and digging through trash cans...

~~~
vacri
At one office, the owner would visit and bring his old dog, which was deaf as
a post and supremely uninterested in people. The dog would do the rounds of
the office, and almost everyone would put their hands out to pat him... which
the dog would ignore on his way to check out the employee's trash bin. Move on
to the next bin to look for anything interesting, completely ignoring the
friendly humans :)

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mtmail
What if you were allergic to pets? The employer has to find a solution to
please both groups. Maybe you get a corner office.

~~~
criddell
And hope that people want you around the office more than the dogs.

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goodside
If you dislike dogs that strongly, claim to have an allergy and politely ask
the owners to keep them away from your desk. If that doesn't work, explain
your allergies to management. It'll spark less resentment than the truth.

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sfrailsdev
So I am going to try to answer your question. I think it's a perfectly
reasonable thing to bring up, in a "Hi I understand that the other office
allows dog owners to bring their pets in. I'm really uncomfortable around
dogs, you might say I have a phobia. Could we discuss whether to continue that
policy, or if that decision has already been made, would it be reasonable to
ask that the dogs be kept to a specific part of the office?

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ivanhoe
Why not challenge your fears instead? I used to have a terrible fear of
heights. Then I've got a really interesting job offer, but the office was on a
high floor with really huge windows. For me that was a total horror, but I've
got really pissed on myself for being so weak and in the moment of craziness
I've took the job anyway. And the first few days were a real struggle to stay
functional, I would use any excuse to go into the corridor just to come down a
bit. But very quickly I just stopped paying attention. You just get used to it
and you relax and all of the sudden the fear is gone. So I started pushing
myself more and eventually I've now got to the point that I'm totally ok with
heights, no discomfort anymore at all (I even did some paragliding lessons
recently). That's the only way to overcome the phobias, to challenge them. And
it really works, just take your time and do it step by step, on your own pace.

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rdtsc
Don't know the reason for OP's dislike of dogs, but in some countries there
are stray dogs running around, and they will attack people sometimes,
especially children.

It happened to my cousin. His mom (my aunt) mentions that he started
stuttering after that. And he is still very much afraid of dogs. People back
there undertand that fear.

Here in US, it is more "Oh, don't be afraid of Fluffy, he's fine, just pet
him". Telling them someone is afraid of them is just inviting ridicule. A co-
worker I knew was just telling people he is alergic. He was from India, and
figured we Americans understand alergies pretty well, so he said that
explanation worked better than explaining his phobia.

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aaronbrethorst
Get proper documentation of the phobia from an appropriately licensed medical
practitioner. a) It'll be a good first step towards resolution of the phobia
itself, and b) you'll probably need it for making your case in the office.

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DougN7
My wife used to be petrified of dogs, no exageration - she would freeze up.
But she didn't want to pass that on to our kids so we got a dog. She will now
never live without two dogs.

You don't know it yet, but dogs are, with almost no exceptions, wonderful,
loving beings. All they want to do is be part of your pack and make you happy,
and get love back.

This sounds like a great opportunity for you. Pick one dog. Learn it's name.
Say hi to it. Pet it. It won't take long if you get to see it regularly. You
be forever grateful you did.

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maxharris
Why not try to learn to like dogs?

In the past, I have generally disliked pets. However, my wife really wants a
dog. So over the years I've grown to dislike them less and less, to the point
where they now generally make me smile.

They might make you uncomfortable now, but it doesn't have to be that way if
you try.

(Oh, and by the way, I'm incredibly allergic to dogs and cats. But I get
around this by washing my hands after touching them. I've also been told that
there are shots you can get that will cure pet allergies such as these.)

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Osiris
I've found that generally my managers are pretty approachable and I've never
had any fears of expressing concerns I have with them during my bi-weekly or
monthly 1:1 sessions.

If you're not having 1:1 sessions with your manager, you should be. It's a
great way to nip issues in the bud before they become unmanageable.

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bhhaskin
The thing I think everyone is missing is that it isn't their employer who has
the policy. It is the other business in the same office space. I would still
talk to HR about it, but it might not be up to that employer if dogs are
allowed or not (except to find another office space).

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yoav
1) Tell your employer about the problem. But don't accept any 'outs' from
confronting your fear. Present it as an opportunity to overcome this phobia.

2) Get this book, or one like it
([https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0195311353/](https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0195311353/))
CBT is a powerful way to rewire your brain, so "dog = fear" will be a thing of
the past in a few weeks of practice.

There probably isn't a safer place to practice exposures since people don't
bring unfriendly dogs to work, and you can see the dogs interact with people
before you practice exposure and pick ones that are
smaller/friendlier/calmer/safer-feeling to start with.

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j28xfc5qsc
If you don't want to work around dogs, your employer should accommodate that.
But it's also worth considering that it sounds like you have a phobia, and
phobias are a curable condition. It would help you going forward if you
weren't afraid of dogs. If getting bitten by a dog in the workplace was a
significant risk, your employer's insurance would not allow them to put dogs
in the workplace. A psychologist could help you with this issue, if you want
help.

~~~
hartator
It can be that the person doesn't like dogs because it's kind of gross. Smell
your hand after petting one. I like dogs though.

~~~
fletchowns
You have a very low threshold for what is considered gross. That's just the
tip of the iceberg with pets! (and babies)

~~~
chris_7
Neither of those noisy (distracting) things belong in an office, though.
Offices are a place for focus.

~~~
GFK_of_xmaspast
What's wrong with bringing a baby to the office?

~~~
xapata
Babies sometimes cry loudly.

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hubert123
there is nothing wrong with being afraid of strange dogs, just dont pet them
or interact with them, turn away from them if they approach you. make clear
that you dont want to interact with them on ur workplace, ppl will understand.
yeah u will look like a partypooper. whatever

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GFK_of_xmaspast
How do you feel about assistance and service dogs.

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pcunite
Pet owners always say, "Oh, he won't hurt anyone. Isn't he cute? Down fido!
Down boy! He's just excited. Can I get you something to drink?"

The trouble is that animals act differently when the owner is not around. If
possible, spray apple juice on your clothing before you leave for work that
day. The animal will bite you, but you won't see it again after that.

~~~
Normal_gaussian
This is horrible and immoral advice.

Disagreeing, complaining, and litigating are one thing. Deliberately
falsifying a situation is quite another.

This is of course leaving aside the fact that the course of action you suggest
could easily lead to a life being taken.

It is impossible for me to courteously describe how appalled I am at your
advice.

~~~
pcunite
Sigh ... it is humor.

~~~
delecti
Maybe an attempt at it.

