

Have a successful product, everyone thinks I am unemployed - holdenc

Curious to know if others have managed to create a good life for themselves as a one person company, only to have the rest of the world think they are unemployed.  In my case, this perception is compounded by my disdain for materialism.<p>Many people earning a lot less often suggest they can help me find a job -- certain I am completely unemployed.  Any similar stories?<p>(I don't mean to suggest this is a real problem.  But it is a minor annoyance)
======
ackkchoo
Do people actually think you are unemployed, or do they just think that what
you are doing cannot possibly support you full-time/comfortably?

I experience the second reaction fairly commonly. People ask me what my job
is, I explain it to them, and then they inevitably follow-up with "Is that
profitable?" or "You work on that full-time?" -- basically, some variant of
"that sounds like a nice hobby, kid, but what do you really do?"

I think it stems partly from insecurity, and partly from lack of
understanding.

The insecurity part comes from the fact that most people don't want to
actually believe that you can be successful by working for yourself. Many
people dream about working for themselves or starting their own company, but
few are willing to take the actual risk. When they see other people fail, it
confirms that their decision to take the "safe" path was the correct one, and
makes them feel better about themselves. This may seem really cynical, but
I've experienced the reaction enough to believe it. Felix Dennis, founder of
Maxim magazine and a publishing empire, also talks about this behavior a lot
in his book "How To Get Rich" (tacky title, great book).

You mention that you're not a materialist. In that case, does it really matter
if other people don't take you seriously, or fail to give you the respect you
might deserve? Presumably, your friends should understand enough about your
situation and business not to make such job offers. And if it's someone that
you have to impress by handing out a fancy business card or driving a fancy
car, and if they won't take you seriously without one, is that someone you
want to be associating with anyway?

------
mechanical_fish
Get some sharp looking business cards -- or any business cards at all, really
-- for about $20 or thereabouts from some online provider. When your friends
ask what you're doing, light up with a big smile and say "I've started a
company!" and whip out your cards and start passing them out.

If they ask how business is... tell them.

As an anonymous YC founder said over the weekend: "A lot of what startup
founders do is just posturing. It works."

If that doesn't do the trick, get a second set of cards that claim you're an
Amway representative. Your friends will never ask about your job again. But be
careful, because they may also start running away as you approach.

~~~
holdenc
Thanks for the advice. Great business cards is a good idea. I am fairly
opposed to posturing however, unless I am speaking to my customers. I prefer
to not posture in front of friends -- this, I suppose, is not helping.

~~~
Mz
There's an alternative: Just don't let yourself get dragged into an
argument/deep discussion of the matter. A simple, nonchalant reply that they
can't get any hooks into is a good out. You may have to repeat "No thanks. I'm
fine." several times. People seem to be deaf to such things if they fly in the
face of their perceptions. It's a slow process and leaves people baffled but
is effective over time.

~~~
holdenc
Good advice. Indeed perception is the hardest thing to overcome.

------
ApolloRising
Not sure where you are but in los angeles you can't tell if the person is
unemployed or a rich actor by looking at them. The general way anyone can even
guess is the famous guys usually have a nice ride.

If you want some nice business cards check out the metal or the nice hard
plastic cards and get them custom designed.

If it really becomes annoying just tell them what you would need in $$ to
accept a job offer. After that they will most likely stop trying to get you a
gig.

~~~
holdenc
Thanks. I am a native New Yorker, and it was better there. But, I just moved
to Southeast Asia, which is a little more like your description of LA --
people distinguish themselves differently here -- more trophy objects.

Good idea with the high-end business cards. It might come down to that.

------
wmf
The materialism can be solved easily enough; just buy some bling. :-)

------
clistctrl
What an awesome problem to have, someday I hope to deal with your troubles :)

