
The Introvert's Networking Survival Guide: Large Events - samullen
http://samuelmullen.com/2012/08/the-introverts-networking-survival-guide/
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winestock
I was at the Apps for Detroit meetup on June 28, this year. I'm a loner, so my
overriding instinct was to be a wall flower. I overcame that by giving myself
a task. I tried to memorize the names of everyone in the room.

I went to each person, introduced myself, and _told_ that person that I was
memorizing the names of everyone at that meetup. I learned that person's name,
what that person did, and, sometimes, some other biographical information.
Then, I pointed out the other people whom I had met, giving their names. I
repeated this for each person in the meeting.

I learned the names of the majority of the people at Apps for Detroit.
Everyone I met was impressed. By now, of course, all of those names are gone.
Nevertheless, I'll keep trying it at all of the meetings which I attend.

The lesson behind my goal is this: If you're a loner or other kind of
introvert, your natural predilection is to be a wallflower. Therefore, you
must have an explicit task when attending any social function. That task must
_force_ you to talk to everyone or nearly everyone in the room and make them
remember you.

~~~
ams6110
Unless you're OK with being a wallflower. Of course then you have to ask, why
go to a meetup?

~~~
drbawb
This is what I've struggled with recently.

To force yourself to reach out, to me, implies that there's something _wrong_
with being an introvert (or wallflower).

I don't like the idea of admitting that such a natural state of being is in
any way _abnormal_ or _wrong._

It always seems like introverts don't mind being in a world of extroverts,
they just find methods to cope. Extroverts, though, seem to view introverts as
"weird" or "shy", somehow incomplete shells of a person. At least, that's my
experience.

I never see someone trying to make an extrovert _more introverted_ ; but I
_consistently_ see the opposite.

To answer your question: I do like to reach out, but for different reasons. It
seems extroverts want to reach out _for the sake of making contact._ \--
They're OK with just having drinks, games, making small talk, etc.

As an introvert, I'd rather go to get some mental engagement. I'd go because
there's something I can learn from the meetup or it's a meetup surrounding an
interesting activity.

It's not about being _with people._ \-- It's about what those people represent
[cultures, ideas, insight, knowledge].

~~~
winestock
There's nothing wrong with being introverted. That doesn't mean that it
doesn't have costs.

~~~
CamperBob2
Trying very hard to be something you're not also has costs.

~~~
gadders
True, but no-one is expecting it to be 24/7. I think you just have to exert a
different set of skills for a limited time period.

When you're alone and coding, you exert your powers of concentration and
focus.

When you're in a social situation, be social.

I'd call myself an introvert, but I can certainly charm and interact with the
best of them. I just need some quiet time afterwards to recover :-)

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loumf
The list of questions at the end are gold.

One trick that works for me is to see if there's some way I can help the event
-- this works better for smaller ones -- get involved ahead of it a little.
That way, when you get there, there's usually a few people who are looking to
talk to you (the organizers), and they would introduce you to your targets if
you ask.

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pge
This is great advice 0 I'm an introvert that has had to learn to go to
networking events - in addition to what the OP describes, one thing I have
learned is that a good way to make small talk with someone is to show a
genuine interest in something they do. People like to talk about themselves
and the things they are passionate about, and it's a good way to connect with
them (you may find that you share an interest). Those are the conversations
people remember positively. Conversely, people don't usually like listening to
you talk about yourself, so keep the discussion about yourself to a minimum
unless asked. Better to be the asker than the teller - you'll make a much
better impression.

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michaelburns
I loved this article

I am an introvert and I have been fighting this for a very long time. Recently
I started my own meetup groups to push myself into meeting new people and
_hopefully_ helping me become a little more social.

~~~
samullen
Thanks, Michael. I'm doing the same thing; starting a Freelancers group here
in Kansas City.

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gadders
I went to a workshop on a non-tech subject (a class on parenting styles
offered by the Inv Bank I was working for. We were expecting our first child).

Anyway, we were asked to do some cut down myers-briggs or something
personality chart and discuss our personality type with the person sitting
next to us.

Me: Mine says I'm an introvert.

Neighbour: Me too.

 _end of conversation_

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johnobrien1010
Good stuff. Another article on the same topic: [http://www.job-
buddy.com/advice/view/ahBzfmpvYi1idWRkeTItaHJ...](http://www.job-
buddy.com/advice/view/ahBzfmpvYi1idWRkeTItaHJkcg4LEgZBZHZpY2UYpJkCDA)

