
Five.js gives you five - orf
https://five.js.org/
======
vmasto
Please can you make the async version return a Promise. It's 2017 for cryin'
out loud!

five.asPromised?

~~~
Uberphallus
Yes, please, it's 2017, nobody wants to block all I/O waiting for an int.

------
shizcakes
So, I realize this is a joke, but there's a small silver lining here IMO. This
is potentially an interesting way to illustrate to new or non-programmers just
how many ways there are to slice any problem. If 5 can be creatively
represented so many ways, imagine how many ways a more complex business
problem can be implemented?

------
daw___
I did not know you could get an [https://<your-project>.js.org](https://<your-
project>.js.org) address for free, thanks! `high ${five()}!`

~~~
jackdcrawford
You could have used five.high() here ;)

~~~
throwanem

        five.tooSlow();

------
gregjw
Finally, a worthwhile JavaScript library.

------
madeofpalk
related:

[https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-
anchor](https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-anchor)

[https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-100](https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-100)

[https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-
clap](https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-clap)

[https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-badminton-racquet-and-
sh...](https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-badminton-racquet-and-shuttlecock)

[https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-black-left-pointing-
doub...](https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-black-left-pointing-double-
triangle-with-vertical-bar)

...I'm sure you get the idea

------
lozzo
I know some people who write excellent JS libraries, submit their work on
GitHub, post their work on HackerNews and others and get either unnoticed or
collect a handful of stars. It's sad to see that five.js has more than 800
stars on GitHub and it's documented like if it was of any value

~~~
taneq
It's got 800 stars because it's funny. And it's documented seriously because,
if it wasn't, it wouldn't be as funny.

~~~
fiatjaf
You are right. People tend to think of these unfunny things as funny. That's
why 9gag and other services are crowded with people making and sharing mostly
idiot jokes.

~~~
krapp
>People tend to think of these unfunny things as funny.

Humor is entirely subjective. If someone thinks it's funny then, by
definition, it's funny.

------
throwanem
"Elvish" is Quenya; Sindarin is unrepresented. This must not stand.

[https://github.com/jackdcrawford/five/pull/332](https://github.com/jackdcrawford/five/pull/332)

------
fiatjaf
Ok, this is a joke. But why? Why would someone waste so much time just to make
a stupid joke like this? The left-pad as a service joke at least had some
context.

~~~
pivotal
IMO you don't need a reason for something like this, it's just fun. We all
spend a lot of time solving problems with software and I believe most of us
neglect that you can make stuff just to make stuff. I wrote an angular
directive that prints out ascii butts: [https://www.npmjs.com/package/pw-
butts](https://www.npmjs.com/package/pw-butts), I doubt anyone will use it for
anything, but I enjoyed making it and it's fun that it exists. If it helps,
think of it as "Art".

------
jmkni
Are there Typescript definitions?

------
cjCamel
How come

    
    
      five.english() // Five
    

But

    
    
      five.french() // cinq 
    

(lower case)?

------
Existenceblinks
I'd name it a polymorphic five?

