

Are our romantic relationships ever really mutual? - nbj914
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/02/a-lopsided-affair-are-romantic-relationships-ever-really-mutual/252972/

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drcube
This is a great story of one person's experiences. It doesn't generalize. The
whole idea that you can only "really" love one person, and that longing for
someone else proves you don't love who you're with is horribly misguided.

I'm polyamorous, and while I know it isn't for everyone, I think everyone
should at least consider the possibility. Not every relationship fits into the
traditional storybook archetype. Some people really can love more than one
person, and every relationship is qualitatively different anyway. Comparing
love levels like it's some scalar quantity in a video game is a pointless and
frustrating endeavor.

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codehotter
What do you mean with "really" and what do you mean with "mutual" ? In the
article, the situation is described where the man in the relationship desires
the woman and the woman desires another man. If you're asking "is it always
like this?" then answer is simply "No." I don't even think it is very common,
but that's judging from anecdotal evidence.

If you would forgive me for being so unromantic on valentine's day, the
experience of being in love has similarities to a drug addiction and obsessive
compulsive disorder. For most people, such infatuation is short-term, and in
long-term romantic relationships usually replaced by feelings similar to
friendship and attachment.

In my opinion, fretting over whether your significant other is really as
addicted to you as you are to the SO is not productive. Focus on whether you
are happy and whether you are getting your needs met in the relationship. If
you are not, you are perfectly entitled to do something about it (starting
with talking it over). If you are happy and getting your needs met, stop
worrying.

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joshuafcole
For what its worth, my experience backs yours. Earlier in my life
relationships were more lopsided, but as I acquired more experience and kept
searching for for somebody, things have oscillated a bit and evened out.

I think its hard to understand that things can be better until you've
experienced them that way.

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ta12121
"My parents were married for 30-something years, and he said (it was) because
they never wanted to get divorced at the same time." Gwyneth Paltrow

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yalimkgerger
This is the most depressing title I've ever read.

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jpdoctor
Not really. The answer to the narrowly defined title is "yes".

Now percentages, that could be depressing.

