

Ecomom's Founder and CEO Jody Sherman Passes Away - xijuan
http://tech.co/las-vegas-startup-ecomoms-ceo-jody-sherman-passes-away-2013-01

======
PeterisP
Before suicide was announced, it was my gut feeling (not knowing him at all)
based on the earlier msuster's post about him that mentioned a recent tattoo
'I'm awesome' on his hand. When reading that, it struck me as a very
disturbing signal indicating problems and suicide risk.

I mean, IMHO you make such a tattoo if you're (a) young, stupid and drunk, in
which case you might do anything whatsoever or (b) you have a serious internal
hurt or a selfesteem issue - and a temporary, fluctuating one, since you felt
awesome when you made it, but you knew that you often feel not awesome and
need to be reminded of it. Which is something that really correlates to people
with clinical depression episodes or bipolar episodes - that also are a big
suicide risk.

Maybe I'm oversensitive to such signals since I've been thinking a lot about
these diseases, but they should matter.

------
kriro
I have to wonder if the flood of posts about suicide on a site like HN might
actually push someone over the edge.

There were quite a few Aaron Swartz related threads and "let's save his
legacy" etc. type posts.

I'm picturing someone that is depressed, followed those weeks on HN and is
thinking to themselves "well if I kill myself people will remember"

Maybe I'm just a cynic though.

~~~
omonra
I thought of the same thing. There is actually a term 'suicide epidemic' and
it's happened in the past: <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_epidemic>

The basic idea being that public coverage of a suicide may prompt others who
are considering it to follow.

------
neotek
If you're feeling this way please just TELL somebody. If you're ready to kill
yourself, what more do you have to lose by just letting someone know?

~~~
param
I have seen close friends and relatives work their way through depression
(varying levels), so unfortunate as it is, here is the answer (I KNOW the
following sounds crazy - even to me - but this is what is considered rational
and obvious by suicidal folks)

Telling someone makes it likely that they will try to stop you. If you have
decided to take your life, the worst thing you want (in some cases) is for
someone try and prevent it from happening.

Also, depression never leaves you alone, so there will be multiple points in
your life where you will think about taking your own life, and you will
yourself doubt whether you will go through with it up to the point of pulling
the trigger, so you don't want to tell someone and "waste their time" if you
are not sure you are going to do it.

Its pretty crazy how these things work, and the best way out for me in helping
such people has been to physically take them to a professional, every time,
every session, until someone certifies them as no longer depressed. Nothing
else has worked for me and I know I am not qualified or capable in talking
someone out of a suicide attempt.

~~~
lusr
There are other reasons too.

Having been there myself, the big one I've seen in myself and with friends in
similar situations is that the depressed individual feels worthless and
"unfixable" at their core because of their:

\- past behaviour (e.g. they did something considered seriously socially
unacceptable and feel they can't tell anybody lest they be ostracised
_forever_ , or people already know about it and they are ostracised leading to
feelings of no _hope_ of escape); or

\- past experiences (e.g. they have a string of failed relationships they feel
responsible for and believe they'll _never_ be happy and every day seeing
happy couples on Facebook or in the shopping mall is like a stab in the
heart).

At the root of it is _hopelessness_ , which also covers:

\- future expectations (e.g. they're trapped in a very bad situation, e.g.
money, relationship, crime, etc., and can see no way of escape)

In these _desperate_ situations, they feel too guilty, hopeless, ashamed
and/or disgusted to discuss their circumstances with anybody, and besides, in
their minds, it wouldn't accomplish anything because they "know" they're
broken ("I _can't_ live with myself after what I did", "Alice was the _only_
person who could love somebody like me", etc.) or screwed ("I _can't_ go to
prison", "If anybody ever finds out I'll _never_ get a decent job/lover ever
again", "Nobody can replace Alice, I screwed up _forever_ ", etc.) and there's
no way out.

Perhaps the saddest thing about suicidal depression is that many ( _note_ :
I'm not claiming all, or even a majority, OR in the case of Aaron OR Jody,
simply 'many'!) of these scenarios seem to stem from a dysfunctional belief
system and a lack of introspective coping skills that I imagine could easily
be taught, in the form of life skills based on cognitive behavioural therapy,
to school teenage children. Many parents lack these skills (through no fault
of their own), and pass dysfunctional beliefs and thought processes onto their
children (entirely unconsciously).

It's fascinating to me that such a serious problem - the #2 non-biological
cause of death, behind road traffic accidents - receives so little _real_
attention [1]. People get upset about wars, murders, have extensive fire
safety requirements, covers for their pools, hide their poison and medicines
from children, panic over their children being abducted or falling pregnant
etc., yet suicidal depression? I don't believe I knew a thing about it until I
had to learn quickly - to help myself.

[1] <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_causes_of_death_by_rate>

~~~
robg
And the most recent study suggest suicide has now passed car accidents.

[http://health.usnews.com/health-
news/news/articles/2012/09/2...](http://health.usnews.com/health-
news/news/articles/2012/09/20/suicide-now-kills-more-americans-than-car-
crashes-study)

~~~
mikecane
On Twitter, I would follow a 911 tweeter. I could not believe how many people
were killing themselves by jumping from heights in NYC. And they never made
the MSM news at all.

------
treelovinhippie
I hate to get analytical here, but is anyone tracking the suicides of
founders? Is it higher than average or are we just seeing more news bubble-up
after Swartz?

~~~
NyxWulf
When I was in high school one of the students committed suicide. There was a
lot of discussion and outreach at the school at the time. One of the things
they talked about was that once one student commits suicide it greatly
increases the chances that others will follow.

My mother is also a social worker at the VA Hospital, and she's had some of
her patients opt out so to speak. It does appear to have a very strong pull on
other people who are suicidal to choose that path.

So if anyone reading this is having those thoughts, please, please talk to
someone professionally. Call the suicide hotline in your area. There are very
real things that can be done to help you through this.

~~~
duaneb
> One of the things they talked about was that once one student commits
> suicide it greatly increases the chances that others will follow.

I've observed this myself. The effects of suicide are insidious but brutal: if
you think nobody will be affected you're deluding yourself.

------
mikecane
Anyone out there reading this who might want to do the same thing: Don't. It's
not hopeless.

~~~
pekk
What I hear is that you would rather people just suffered in silence rather
than drawing attention and inconveniencing you with their suicides.

We shouldn't treat people like shit and refuse to help them with their
suffering, then complain bitterly when they commit suicide. When this happens,
it is our failure as a society.

~~~
throwit1979
Yes, the anti-suicide brigade is out in full force today.

It's their decision. There are myriad reasons someone may want to end his/her
life. It's not the role of someone not in the headspace of the suicider to
comment on what they're going through.

It's astounding that so many people want to restrict the freedom of others to
be released from suffering.

~~~
mikecane
>>>to be released from suffering

The suffering is too often _imaginary_ , do you understand that?

------
alberthartman
The risks of the high wire act, the vertical mountain wall climbing is that
you can fall. We need to think up workable nets and ropes for people pushing
the edges.

~~~
onemorepassword
Two thoughts come to mind. (And that's all they are, just thoughts, possibly
contradictory ones at that.)

One, we're all climbing the vertical mountain wall. It's called life. This
even applies to those who seem to have it easy. Suicide is not limited to high
flyers.

Two, pushing the edges and suicidal thoughts often have the same roots. And
I'm not just talking bipolar.

------
djt
requiescat in pace

~~~
RobertHoudin
I'm curious. Was there a reason to write that in Latin, other than to be
pretentious?

~~~
alanctgardner2
Getting on the pretension train: the latin is "may he rest in peace", which I
like better and find less pushy than "rest in peace". It's not imperative,
it's imploring $deity or the universe to ease their passing. Rest in peace is
a backronym of RIP anyways.

------
xijuan
Rest in peace, Jody.

