
Finding Out You’re a Sexist, Misogynistic, Homophobic, Classist, Racist Asshole - tanoku
https://medium.com/about-work/f986fbd5e51f
======
mikl
So, basically, everyone that doesn't agree with her is just irrational,
deluded, etc. The world horribly bad, oppressing, we're all sinners in need of
salvation, etc., etc.

I'm tired of these rants. I'll gladly listen to you describing your
experiences, but I don't accept your worldview, and I will not agree to
describe myself as “misogynistic” or “racist” (not to mention “asshole”), just
because I don't agree with you.

It's not that our current system is perfect, or that it can't be improved. But
for every person that feels oppressed like the OP, there's a hundred that
don't have to starve to death, ten others who can live and fulfill their
dreams, five others who…

It's good to reflect on the fact that our human minds are predisposed towards
prejudice and selfishness. Calling people nasty names because of those inborn
traits is just silly.

~~~
gaius
I flagged it because it's just pure vitriol.

~~~
jayferd
Uh, it is not at all vitriol. You read the thing right? It's about self-
discovery and the discomfort we all feel when we find out we're supporting
violent or oppressive systems.

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daeken
The last thing we need is yet another article (albeit a fairly well-written
one) about the problems faced in the abstract, with no solutions in sight. So
I'm going to propose one thing you can do. Yes, you. If you see someone being
an asshole, particularly if they're someone you know already, make them aware
of what they're doing and why it's inappropriate. This works just as well for
casual sexism as it does 'bully' attitudes in the workplace.

Seriously. Speak up. We as a community have a tendency to be passive-
aggressive, talking in hushed tones about how X acted that night, or how we
really wish that Y would stop making racist comments on team outings. In the
words of a wise man, "Shut up and say something."

~~~
sp332
How is "speak up" less abstract than "just listen"? They're both good advice.
But there are so many issues that you'll have to be abstract to describe them
collectively. I think "just listen" is good advice because you have to know
what kind of problems there are before you can even recognize someone being an
asshole.

~~~
daeken
"Just listen" can be helpful to identify problems, but here's the issue: we
all already know of 99% of the problems! We just don't act on them. Social
pressure is a powerful thing, and most of the time that's all it takes to
correct issues.

"Speak up" isn't abstract, it's concrete: if you hear someone say something
inappropriate, _tell them_. That's it. Simple as that.

~~~
sp332
_we all already know of 99% of the problems!_

I strongly disagree. Minor changes in wording can affect the gender gap. It
doesn't involve anyone saying something inappropriate.
[http://www.ere.net/2013/03/01/you-dont-know-it-but-women-
see...](http://www.ere.net/2013/03/01/you-dont-know-it-but-women-see-gender-
bias-in-your-job-postings/) Stereotype threat can dramatically affect test
scores.
[http://www.reducingstereotypethreat.org/definition.html](http://www.reducingstereotypethreat.org/definition.html)
Most people have no idea these things exist. Fixing them takes more awareness
than just telling off the "bad guys". You have to change your own behavior.

------
orclev
_yawn_

I've seen a bunch of these now and frankly I don't see the point. Maybe we
should all become Zen Bhuddist monks and subsist off happy thoughts alone lest
we accidentally step on an ant and take a life?

I don't know exactly what needs to be done to fix these problems, but I know
rants like this do absolutely nothing. You want to see what might make a
difference, look at something like this: [http://www.hackingplay.com/carnegie-
mellon-study-on-gender-a...](http://www.hackingplay.com/carnegie-mellon-study-
on-gender-and-computer-science)

~~~
sp332
You might willingly step on an ant, but it's good not to be in denial about
it.

~~~
orclev
It's not a question of denial. The argument being put forth is that the tech
sector is sexist/racist/whatever-ist, and that therefore anyone who works/is
connected with, the tech sector is by association then a
sexist/racist/whatever-ist. I reject that assertion. By that same logic
everyone over in Syria is a mass murderer, after all, they all live in Syria,
and other people who live in Syria are killing lots of people, therefore all
Syrians are guilty of murder.

On a related note I don't necessarily even agree with the basic premise of the
argument. I'm not entirely convinced that the tech sector is
sexist/racist/whatever anymore than the rest of society is. Rather I think the
lower representation if women in tech is a symptom of the wider cultural
problem and not something that can be laid solely at the feet of the tech
industry.

~~~
sp332
I think society is fucked up too. That doesn't mean tech isn't also fucked up.
No one is asking you to take sole responsibility for the gender gap etc. Just
pay attention to the times when, by doing exactly the same things everyone
around you is doing, you are perpetuating the fucked up system.

~~~
orclev
Honestly I think the main reason we don't see more women in tech is because of
the school system and the media portrayal of women. Women don't go into tech
or science because those are "guy professions", at least according to
movies/tv shows/magazines etc. Hell, some of the negative stereotypes the
media pushes about tech/science are enough to even scare off a lot of the men.

What sexism exists that's connected to tech is usually from either marketing
(E.G. booth babes), or associated cultures like the gaming culture (driven
sadly by a lot of 12-16 year old males), or sports culture (Think Madden 2013
or whatever the current year is). There is the brogramming phenomena, but I
think that's largely blown out of proportion, and something that I'd frankly
love to see stamped out anyway (and arguably just an extension of
sports/gaming culture).

~~~
jack-r-abbit
Hell... a bunch of people constantly screaming about the infestation of sexist
pigs in the tech industry is probably scaring off a lot of people too.

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Hytosys
>You are a sexist, misoyngistic, homophobic, transphobic, classist, racist
asshole. Oh, and possibly even a hypocrite.

>Sorry bro.

>Yes, I have slut-shamed, body-policed, name-called, bad-joked, appropriated,
derailed, co-opted, silenced, objectified, stereotyped, trivialized, slurred,
punished, isolated, insulted, benefited, and stayed silent with the worst of
them.

I'm missing the overarching sarcasm, right? Surely the author cannot be blind
to her own contradictions. This must be bait.

~~~
mikl
I especially like the delicious irony of the third-last sentence:

> Don’t show up in other people’s spaces and communities without invitation
> demanding to receive their time and attention.

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zabuni
Meh, this is just another diatribe that makes all sexism and racism as sin: a
pernicious character flaw that can never be blotted out, but must be
constantly atoned for. Ditch the hairshirts, they don't suit you.

This is particularly shitty, because they take systemic problems, like racism,
sexism, environmentalism, and make them into personal responsibilities. See
here:

[http://jacobinmag.com/2013/07/revolutionizing-
ethics/](http://jacobinmag.com/2013/07/revolutionizing-ethics/)

No matter how much you atone, systemic sexism will prevail. If you want to
change that, CHANGE THE SYSTEM. Introspection is good, but on its own, is just
masterbation.

~~~
sp332
Do you think you are separate from the system? Can you change the system
without introspecting?

~~~
zabuni
Introspection is a start, but I've seen years of conscious raising without the
necessary systemic action to change things.

------
Fuzzwah
After the last article I asked the author for info on which books I should
look at reading to educate myself. So seeing this section in this new article
frustrates me so much:

> It’s your job to educate yourself. You know how to fucking Google and find
> things on the internet and on your Kindle and your iPad and all those other
> things, so do it. Don’t ask marginalized and oppressed people to do your
> homework for you.

Surely lowering the friction and leading those who are interested in learning
more via some recommendations is a good idea?

------
debacle
It's always important, when reading something like this, to realize how young
the person who wrote it was, how emotional they were when they wrote it, and
where they're coming from.

Often times people who write this kind of screed are writing more for
themselves than for others, even if they don't know it.

Clearly there are other people who are curious who this woman is - her
personal site appears to be completely hammered right now - but I don't think
this distraction is particularly important except for the people here who are
seeking distraction for distraction's sake.

------
omonra
It sounds like she just realized she's human

------
icecreampain
When someone accuses me of being any of those things, I just say "yes" and let
them think so. If people want me to be sexist I can be sexist. I can be a
women (or MAN!) hater if I want, or if the name-caller wants. Either is fine.

Here's the thing: whenever I'm called names it makes me want to be/continue
being those things just because if pisses the person off. It hurts their
fragile little feelings that someone has the audacity of not having the exact
same opinion as them and they can't digest it. And while they've having a
shouting fit or breaking down I'm continuing with my life, now perhaps a
little happier that I've pissed another person off just by being me.

Hey, article writer! I'm never visiting neither your blog or this popular (for
some reason) "medium.com" domain, nor am I going to stop being myself. Being
me has gotten me to where I am and being you has only resulted in you having
constant fits that there are people who aren't genetically alike to yourself.
You go ahead and break down and I'll just laugh at you while continuing to
call you a fat, nigger-loving, liberal, man-hating feminazi.

~~~
aeflash
Such hubris. Either that, or trolling....

