

Dream, but don't forget to live - robheaton
http://peternixey.com/post/42836784573/dont-forget-to-live

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xijuan
I can really relate myself to this article. I don't think I am as great as the
girl in the article. But my mindset is exactly like hers. My friends and
teachers keep telling me how smart I am and how much achieved . While I really
really appreciate their kind compliment, I found it hard to accept what they
say about me. I feel that they may not understand me completely. They don't
know all my weaknesses and have not seen how dumb I am at times. I am rarely
satisfied with myself because I constantly think about all these people who
have achieved more than me. People told me to lower my standards and look at
the people who didn't achieve what I have. But lowering my standards make me
feel weak and sad, feeling that I can no longer be the person I aspire to be..
So I persist to try harder despite the uncomfortable feelings of not being
satisfied. I also start to realize there is no end to this. My goals of past
years have been reached but new goals and higher standards have been set along
the way. I actually don't like to be this because I can get very frustrated
with myself at times. But one again, lowering my standards make feel weak..

~~~
genwin
Best not to compare yourself to others, as hard as that may be. Many people's
achievements seem to be at odds with what they say they want to accomplish,
like travel or hobbies. Have goals true to yourself and ignore what others
think.

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dcolgan
Having grown up as a Christian in the Midwestern US, we were always taught
that heaven lasts forever, and therefore I never felt any time pressure. This
life can be spent building character and struggling with self improvement and
you can enjoy yourself in the next life. As I've come to consider the
possibility that life ends when it is over, that mindset no longer makes
nearly as much sense to me. Yes I want to improve myself, since self
improvement and achievement brings increased opportunities, but why am I
striving to find more and more opportunities and achievement? Is there some
mystical end point after which I can finally relax and be happy? Why not just
decide to relax and be happy now? And so I've tried to do so and I think I'm
enjoying life more because of it.

I really liked this video by Alan Watts called "Life and Music:"
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4>

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JonnieCache
_"She doesn’t even believe the fact does work is a result of her own
discipline"_

I cannot parse this sentence. Is this my fault?

~~~
petenixey
Not your fault, just bad English and now corrected, thank you

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api
Related advice: don't destroy balance in your life to spend every waking hour
working on the theory that once you get your big break you can _then_ have
balance. It doesn't work. You burn out.

(Speaking from experience.)

~~~
MechaJDI
I wish I took this advice in highschool and college but I'm still young (23).
I was completely focused on getting my Bachelor's degree and eventually
getting a good job (succeeded btw) over having much of a social life so the
cons that come with that is a bit obvious...But yeah, maintain balance.

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zupa-hu
Wow, thank you for this post. It made me completely disagree. (but that's
okay) I think it can be rewarding itself to feel that you are getting better.
And maybe oneself is the best competitor one can find. It always keeps up with
your pace.

She is the type of person I admire. The type of person I want to become. Maybe
at some time in the future.

Oh, and your quote. It jumped to be my nr.1.

Again, thx for the inspiration.

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prawks
Isn't this inability to recognize the level of your own ability a known
psychological phenomenon? The name escapes me.

EDIT: Yes, "Imposter syndrome"

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome>

~~~
mistermann
Is there a term for the opposite, other than Dunning Kruger Effect?

I'm thinking along the lines of existential awareness of humans, and the
occasional tendency of some people when they become skilled in a field to
somewhat lose it. Two examples I've frequently encountered:

Doctors - on medical matters, their opinion on a subject trumps the opinions
of all non-formally-educated people

Developers - developers who are admittedly "smarter" than others thinking
their argument is always correct

Is there a term for the phenomenon of someone _losing_ the (formerly present)
ability to conceive of their own fallibility? Hubris would be a good example,
but I'm wondering if there's a more scientific description for this
phenomenon.

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muan
Imagine the joy of getting 2 marshmallows instead of 1, the struggle is
definitely worthwhile; especially when it's not about marshmallows but about
expectations on oneself, I believe she's merely trying not to disappoint
herself, as the alternative is simply unbearable.

~~~
prawks
I never liked eating uncooked marshmallows like that. What makes something
"worthwhile" is pretty dependent on the person.

~~~
jere
Ditto for vegans and Hindus.

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fallous
This is what I often refer to as "the curse of the competent." Future me will
always have more complete information than current me with regards to what
current me is doing at this time, and that will always cause me to evaluate
past performance in a more critical light. Also, as you continue gaining
knowledge in a particular field you become aware of how much more there is to
learn. It's constantly resetting your opinion of "how much you know" which can
lead to statements that from an external observer appear to be unrealistic.

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joedev
I have little fear that people are deferring life's enjoyment. Ask a professor
today and they'll likely present an opinion opposite of how the author sees
people. Many of today's youth expect an "A" grade just for showing up, easily
accept praise, and comfortably feel they are the best at what they do.

~~~
rohansingh
> "The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of today
> think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old
> age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew
> everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them."

~~~
verisimilitude
I believe rohansingh is saying that youth, as a group, are always castigated
by the generation preceding them.

------
PaulHoule
Given the obesity epidemic, you're probably better off eating just one
marshmallow.

------
dworrad
And I bet a large percentage of the 2 marshmallow group also found it easy to
loss weight

