
Two Experts Weigh in on Etiquette of Centuries Past - pepys
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/26/books/review/how-to-behave-badly-elizabethan-england-ruth-goodman-what-would-mrs-astor-do-cecelia-tichi.html
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njarboe
Men have their gonads outside of their bodies and they need to be below body
temperature to function properly. When they are too hot, they send the signal
of pain to brain. Hopefully this causes an action that reduces the temperature
of the gonads and prevent damage. Some men probably have other physical
characteristics that exacerbates this heat problem that makes them to want to
have their legs spread more than other men. If seats are empty to one side,
the spreading of legs should not be seen as some attempt of male dominance, if
the man brings them together when someone else comes to sit next to them.

How the term "manspreading" is used, while so many other words are forbidden
as offensive, puts on clear display the double standard that many feel is held
by mainstream media.

~~~
justinator
I have never felt pain from overheating of my testicles. Are you sure this is
a thing?

~~~
webignition
I'm not sure it's a thing.

The worst I experience is sweat-related discomfort, the same manner of
discomfort with any sweating body area.

------
stevenicr
current title for this on HN is "Two Experts Weigh in on Etiquette of
Centuries Past (nytimes.com)" \- yet when clicked on, the heading says
"Manspreading, Renaissance-Style: 2 Experts Weigh In on Etiquette of Centuries
Past"

I know there are char limits and these things change for various reasons. I
did read the comments first, so I guess that could have been a clue, however,

I had assumed this was going to be about many etiquette things and perhaps
include some the me too and maybe consent things that might be interesting to
read some research into past cultural expectation of various behaviors from
times past and perhaps places distant and compare to things today, a few years
ago and going forward.

Unfortunately from seeing the heading on the page I clicked back so hopefully
visiting the page does not count against my monthly free article limit at NYT
- as it's not something I would have wasted a monthly visit counter on had I
seen the full title of the article before clicking.

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autokad
manspreading is a sexist term. i am also unsure as to why it gets so much
attention. if it must be broken down into a gendered attack, I rarely
witnessed it and I use to ride the philadelphia subway everyday. however, I
did witness on a daily basis women putting their bags and purses on an
additional 1 or more seats.

~~~
colanderman
It gets attention because it is rude and annoying and subway riders would like
it to stop, and, despite your experience, very common, and indeed almost
exclusive to men.

I see one or two men "spread" every day on the subway in Boston. Some even do
it while someone is seated next to them, forcing their neighbor to sit
sideways or be squished. The subway seats _are_ narrower than they ought to
be, and many people simply don't fit, but spreading is an act apart.

Never have I seen a woman sit like that on the subway. Granted, it's possible
the reason women do not do this is merely one of propriety or upbringing and
not conscientiousness. Likewise it's possible the reason men do this is merely
obliviousness and not inconsiderateness, posturing, or entitlement. But it is
absolutely a predominantly male behavior.

~~~
girvo
> Never have I seen a woman sit like that on the subway

I see it nearly daily on trains in Brisbane. I also see idiots "manspreading"
about as often. Shit people are shit people.

------
barrow-rider
Misleading headline.

It should read: Manspreading, Renaissance-Style: 2 Experts Weigh In on
Etiquette of Centuries Past

NYT clickbate

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gumby
These stories are fun byput _why_ etiquette? Some of course is for gratuitous
exclusion and some just to keep people from killing each other (or simply so
that you can often know what to do without having to think about it).

But another important factor is hygiene (a form of not killing each other I
suppose). As antibiotic resistance increases and vaccination decreases I
wonder if there will be a return to serving spoons, butter knives, not
wandering around with food etc. Hand washing has already seen a rise in the
west over the past couple of decades, with thinks like MRSA bein one of the
drivers.

~~~
moretai
Etiquette is just discipline. once we start dismissing manners as pointless,
then we're degrading as a species. We as individuals value certain disciplines
over others, or we accuse certain disciplines to be excluding others, but
manners is the universal discipline. Being polite has gone out the tube.
Parents verbally abuse their own kids, smoke in front of them. Imagine how
they treat other peoples. Why? Because they are petty. They are jealous. They
hate the rich, hate the poor, hate the black, hate the white, hate the muslim,
hate everyone. Why? This is a lack of etiquette. I am not saying we should be
militant, but why don't we try to be nice to each other? Why don't we walk in
each other shoes?

~~~
perfmode
Because others are violating social contracts and there is a profound and wide
spreading feeling of helplessness and futility.

------
clubm8
I'm actually not a huge fan of etiquette. Instead, I value kindness, which in
general is universal.

I've found that this attitude of kindness + always trying to be mindful of
others feelings to the best of my abilities, I've done well.

Some people wield "etiquette" like a weapon, to look down on and demean people
with good intentions.

I'll never shame someone for using the wrong fork or forgetting to take off
their shoes or something - but if you call someone out for some petty cultural
misunderstanding in front of me, I'll forever remember you as a bully.

~~~
crooked-v
> forgetting to take off their shoes

It's hard enough to keep the floorboard gaps of my old wooden floor clean
without somebody actively tracking more dirt in.

