

The Trouble With Bright Girls - Jonhoo
http://psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201101/the-trouble-bright-girls

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chrisgd
I don't think this is limited to girls. I have read in some parenting books
about the number of boys being diagnosed with ADHD might be related to this
feeling, that they try something and can't get it, then just get frustrated
and move on.

We have tried to be particularly encouraging with our 18-month old son. From
what we have read, often saying "you are so smart" as led to many children
giving up when they face a tough task as they feel they must not be smart
enough to figure it out. Instead, we say "you worked hard", "good work", "you
put time into it", etc. Anything to encourage the act of working rather than
how smart he must be.

Another book suggested having just 3-5 toys in a room, rather than the 50 we
have now, so the amount of concentration is focused instead of moving from one
to the next. Now if we can just get the 4 grandparents with just this 1
grandchild to stop buying him things! Probably going to hide everything when
they are not here instead.

------
DanBC
> She found that bright girls, when given something to learn that was
> particularly foreign or complex, were quick to give up - and the higher the
> girls' IQ, the more likely they were to throw in the towel. In fact, the
> straight-A girls showed the most helpless responses. Bright boys, on the
> other hand, saw the difficult material as a challenge, and found it
> energizing. They were more likely to redouble their efforts, rather than
> giving up.

A prestigious English school for girls recognised this problem, and ran
"failure week". Trying and failing is much better than not trying.

([http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-16879336](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-16879336))

([http://www.wimbledonhigh.gdst.net/failure-
week.html](http://www.wimbledonhigh.gdst.net/failure-week.html))

Other techniques that some schools use are to stop asking students to put
their hands up to answer a question - the teacher will pick a student who then
has to try to answer. Being wrong is fine. The wrongness is where people
learn.

~~~
chrisgd
Really good idea. As a 33 year old, I still feel some of the anxiety when I
remember being wrong in college or high school. Hopefully, more schools can
adopt this idea.

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raphman
FWIM: The linked article is from 2011.

