
Why you shouldn't 'be yourself' at work - happy-go-lucky
http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20170430-why-you-shouldnt-be-yourself-at-work
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jamra
I hate chameleons. You know who else hates chameleons? Everyone on my team.
The key is to back up what you say with actions. That way if you talk too much
like I do, you don't lose credibility. Actually, every person on my team rolls
their eyes to managers or leads from other teams who don't back up their words
with actions.

Now that I'm in a higher roll, I notice a lot of people who chameleon their
ways right up the chain. They eventually hit the wall and it eventually
becomes clear that they cannot perform. I usually tell them directly, which
may make me a bit of a jerk, but I prefer to receive direct criticism so I can
respond by working on my skill sets. The article is telling its readers to
play the game, but putting effort into being a manipulator is bad advice.

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munchbunny
You are conflating "self-monitoring" with "not actually doing the work."

When you are a chameleon who actually does the work, you're a charismatic and
effective employee/leader. When you're a chameleon who doesn't do the work,
you're a bullshitter.

If you look at manuals on effective leadership, one of the first pieces of
advice is to figure out each person's social style and engage them the way
they prefer to interact. Being a chameleon of sorts is part of the skillset of
an effective leader. (Specifically, referring to this:
[https://hbr.org/2000/03/leadership-that-gets-
results](https://hbr.org/2000/03/leadership-that-gets-results))

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jamra
I agree with changing social styles to engage people in a better way. I don't
agree with changing your opinion to engage peers in a dishonest way.

~~~
munchbunny
I think this really goes on a sliding scale.

In your classic case of a guy who tells one person one story and another
person a different story, yeah, that's pretty disingenuous and makes that
person untrustworthy.

However, for example, if you are a gay man in a community that isn't lgbt
friendly, then misrepresenting your actual opinion on homosexuality becomes a
matter of self preservation. As a minority, it's a pretty common experience to
need to control your image carefully in small ways.

~~~
jamra
I personally wouldn't suggest pretending that your opinions are different for
any reason. There is a way not to give your opinion without being
disagreeable.

The article, however, suggests changing your deeds based on who you are
interacting with. I see such behavior in management in my company here and
there. I can't stand it. In my opinion, people who engage in such interaction
are liars and impediments to success. I see them as a sort of optimized
apathy. They say what everyone wants to hear and then they find a way to do
almost no work. Or they promise things they never deliver. It creates bad
culture because the people who actually do work watch and learn, then apply
the same technique.

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wvbiwvb
There's no such thing as "your true self". Personalities are naturally multi-
dimensional and depend on context and who's present. But, we like consistent
people because it means less guesswork.

I tend to play a role at work. I try to be professional (avoid politics, be
polite, friendly, helpful, kind) because that's the context - you're there to
work with other people so you put them first.

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contingencies
Best phrase: _idiosyncrasy credits_

TLDR: Develop your eccentricities.

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z5h
Be yourself. Just not all of it.

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haskellandchill
Your self is a scary place. Only ever give out slices.

