
Ask HN: How to deal with fear of missing out? - personjerry
For example, I find that when I&#x27;m making an important decision, I often start to pre-emptively regret my decision and second guessing myself. I also worry about missing out when friends talk or do things. These kinds of issues cripple my rational decision making ability. Does anyone else have this sort of problem, and have you learned any methods (or know of any books) to deal with this psychological issue?
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implicit_none
Are you very young (< 35)? If so, then I recommend talking to older people
around you and hearing about their life experiences. I've found that the "fear
of missing out" as a youth is assuaged when talking to folks whose most
amazing life experiences occurred when they were easily twice my current age
(puts a lot of things in perspective).

Also try this experiment: on one occasion, actively pursue an opportunity
"overheard with friends" \- when that activity is complete, recount the entire
experience and decide if there was truly something you could have lived
without. On another occasion, actively _turn down_ such an opportunity and
pursue something in the meantime. If you can do this once, do it again, and
you'll start to learn to balance the pursuit of such opportunities and
likewise a restraint. As motivation: If you don't turn down an opportunity
then you are _missing out on this experiment!_

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tabeth
I have alternative advice: follow those thoughts to its conclusion and address
that.

For example:

-> I often start to preemptively regret my decision

Why do you regret your decision? Perhaps it's because there may be a more
optimal decision? Why does the decision matter? Maybe you've had some failures
in life and its time for an epic comeback, so you can't afford to lose. Why
does it matter if you lose anyway? Maybe you feel that your friends/family
will deem you worthless if you don't succeed?

If this is your train of thought, then the solution is simple: find better
people to hang out with. [0]

[0] The solution isn't that trivial, but this actually would help if my
example resonated more than it should've.

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rjromero
Become a Buddhist. Not kidding.

