Ask HN: How to deal with lonliness while running an early stage startup? - thehumblenerd
======
youeseh
If you are able, I highly recommend finding a team sport. A sport like
volleyball, soccer, basketball, even doubles badminton. Or if you prefer
martial arts, jiu jitsu or judo where you constantly play with others and need
others to become better.

No, I do not mean cross-fit, or hiking, or a solo sport like running or
surfing / skiing / skateboarding or planting trees, or even a leisurely
activity like boardgames or a sedentary activity like video games. Those are
all very worthy, but compared to all the benefits that a team sport provides,
they fall short.

You'll be killing multiple stones with a single bird. Get exercise, meet
people, feel rejuvenated, better appetite, great sleep etc.

Good friendships are built on shared experiences. Taking on a challenge and
winning together is awesome. You'll make friends - the kind who you can turn
to and the kind who you'll drive across four states for.

You'll learn about your strengths and weaknesses, and learn to become a team
player if you aren't already one!

You'll strengthen your mind and it will make you a better entrepreneur!
Sometimes you'll meet people who rub you the wrong way. You'll learn to
breathe, breathe some more, and play it cool. And you'll learn to still play
with them (or against them! ;)).

I can't recommend finding a team sport highly enough. There are leagues, there
are pickup games. If you don't like a particular sport, try another one =).

~~~
thehumblenerd
@youesh Sports is also in my list, but I am finding it hard to take that first
step. Most of my issues rise from the fact that its harder to find people who
can relate to my issues. Most only see the successes or the minute victories
that i post on my social media. Thanks for taking the time to help me out.
Much love - ahumblenerd

~~~
youeseh
Your problems are most likely not unique. I think you might be overthinking
your problems.

------
DoreenMichele
I will suggest you consider the possibility that this is a feature, not a bug.
If you are doing a startup, presumably you are doing something novel. You are
trying to invent something new and different that will be wildly successful.
You are trying to break new ground.

And the way you do that is by thinking differently from other people. So the
very nature of the process means you are out of step with the rest of the
world and will have difficulty relating to others going about life in the here
and now before you have changed the world and made it different in some way.

So trying too hard to stop being lonely is potentially a barrier to success.

It might be better to blog or keep a journal -- to "talk to yourself" rather
than someone else in order to sort your thoughts and feelings. Expect that
this will get better after you are through some critical stage and no longer
need to carve out the mental space to intentionally think different from the
rest of the world.

------
mtmail
After working years from home I chose to rent an office. Now I'm surrounded by
people working for other companies, they have their meetings and different
projects but the social interactions (watercooler, lunch) keep me sane. Also
indiehackers.com (more focused on bootstrappers)

~~~
thehumblenerd
Working from home was zoning me out to a point where I was only talking to one
person on whatsapp. I recently shifted to a co working space. Hoping that it
will help me cope.

------
wjossey
I’m two years into working from home on my startup, and it’s definitely one of
the challenges. I have a co-founder and one full time employee, one in Boston
and the other in Chicago.

As for how I cope- I live in Los Angeles and make use of my surroundings. I
take walks every day when I need a break. I go grocery shopping. I cook. I
break my day up so it’s not just constant business.

I also got a second dog that was a puppy (8 weeks old) and have been raising
and training her. Helps to have some activity around the house, and she
naturally makes me take breaks throughout the day.

Either way, starting a company is a lonely business. Finding ways to embrace
the loneliness and work with it helps a bunch.

~~~
thehumblenerd
I have a co founder on the business, but both of us work on two different
facets of the business. And I am focussed on the technology side of things. I
will certainly start with small activites.

------
segmondy
Network with other founders, work out of a shared space for other startups.
Make time for socialization with friends & family.

~~~
thehumblenerd
I have distanced myself from my extended family as ditching a job is always an
unpopular decision and at first it was easier to shut them out than listen to
them and answer them.

~~~
thehumblenerd
But family is an important connection and I guess I will be able to improve my
happiness levels if I can reconnect with the people I started my life with .

------
siddharthram
This happens a lot to me as well. Best for now is to do experiments on PM so
much that once you figure out you will not have time to feel lonely. You will
get into the FLOW.

Learn a side skill like an instrument, artform etc which you can learn while
you building this.

~~~
thehumblenerd
Getting started with a hobby seems to the most voted advice. Definitely
starting to work on this. And thanks to everyone who took their time to help
me figure this out. It means a lot to know that there are people out there who
are willing to help :) <3

------
taf2
Listen to music and power through. Remember computers make you depressed
(knowing is half the battle). Walk around and focus like crazy. You want to
win so don’t give up. But do take breaks. Remember everyone is crazy - it’s ok

------
ian0
\- Take the time to maintain your relationships with existing friends and
family

\- Meet with co-workers or customers whenever possible to motivate

\- As youeseh mentions, hobbies that are done in groups (For me its sufing &
biking)

------
guilhas
In Bristol there is a lot Meetup.com for entrepreneurs

