

7 years and no success. I need help. - fffuuu1234

Hello HN,<p>I'm a regular here, but for personal reasons I'll be using a throwaway account.<p>For the last 7 years I've been trying the entrepreneur game. I've have failed miserably with 6 failed startups under my belt.<p>For the last year or so I was working for a company that can no longer pay me and I'm for the first time in years without any income (last 7 years my income was extremely low since I was investing everything in my ventures). At this point I'm very frustrated and have no clue what to do.<p>I'm not a hacker, I'm a marketing guy. I know about usability, product, copywriting, lead generation and all those fancy things we marketing guys must know. Yet somehow, I can't get clients for myself (I'm trying the consulting route for SMB's but no luck).<p>I have two degrees, two masters, have travelled most of the world, yet I feel like a total failure. When it comes to building stuff and making a living out of it, it just does not happen.<p>I'm lost. I have no idea what I'm going to do to make rent next month, but besides that, what I'm most afraid of is this feeling of being a looser, of failure. Is one of the worst things I've experienced in my life and I have no clue what to do with it.<p>Professionally I'm also lost. I have a couple of good ideas that I'm to afraid to try them (I feel I'll fail miserably, again).<p>When it comes to money I suck too. I haven't been able to make a decent living for almost a decade. I'm tired. I don't know if I have to change how I understand money or what, but I can't comprehend how someone with my knowledge (I'm using all my strength to say that) can make so little money.<p>I'm sorry for this rant, but I don't have anyone to talk to.
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ulisesrmzroche
You sound like you've burnt out. You're liable to make bad decisions when
you're worried, but more importantly, you can't really build anything if
you're worried about rent. Rent is a more important problem.

There's nothing that will really shake you out of it, you're going to have to
wait until you heal. This is the fastest way I know of that helps you do that.

1) Don't take yourself so seriously.

2) Workout hard

2) Get a real job.

On #1, don't beat yourself up. Won't help any.

On #2, I suggest just doing burpee intervals. Check my comment history, I put
up a sample workout on another thread.

On #3, just get any job that will help pay bills and more importantly, allow
you to get some savings for when you get back on to what you really want to
do, which is become a successful entrepreneur. Move back with parents to save
money. It's not going to take forever, at most, like a few months while the
next best thing comes along.

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carlsednaoui
Personally:

\- If you don't already, start working out (nothing major, even if its doing
push ups, squats, going for a short run, anything - just be active)

\- Eat well. Trust me on this one, adding good diet + sports will make a huge
difference.

Professionally:

\- Keep on looking, im sure you will find a great opportunity soon (but
remember one thing, you need to value yourself before other can value you).

\- If you have free time, volunteer it to other companies (reach out to
startups or companies you admire, give them feedback, give them value). It
wont cost you anything and it may help you find that inner motivation to
pursue your own projects (or expand your network of contact).

\- Get a motivation buddy - if you want you can email me (myHNname at gmail.
com). Perhaps I can provide you with some motivation for job hunting or
working out. I've never done this but perhaps it's worth a try? As an FYI I'm
based in New York.

~~~
fffuuu1234
Thank you for reaching out. The whole value yourself thing got to me, I think
I've been judging myself to harsh lately.

I'll get in touch.

~~~
carlsednaoui
Looking forward to it

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lnanek
Take a job at a large company that won't fail for a while until you build up
again? Most startups fail; it's like playing the lottery. You can always still
do Startup Weekend and the like, teams there usually don't work for pay, so
it's a cheap way to continue failing (and learning with each) while still not
being limited to only working alone.

Re rent, see if you can move back home or in with a friend. I know lots of
people who crash on a couch of a friend or two for a while in between places.
Landlords I've talked to are pretty forgiving if you have to break a lease, as
long as you move out immediately. They often have to deal with tenants who
can't pay, but won't leave either (and thus have to be evicted). So they are
often happy to just get the room free to rent to someone who actually can pay.

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jnbiche
Keep trying to freelance. Don't give up. If you can write good ad copy, you
can make good money freelancing. It takes a little while to get started, but
if you network well you can start making a decent income in a few months. You
won't get rich, but you'll stay busy and make contacts. I freelance in another
industry, but I know that good freelance copywriters are highly valued.

Regarding happiness, I'll be blunt and say I was never truly happy until I met
my wife and had kids. I did the global traveling thing for several years, and
it was fun, but I was lacking fulfillment until I started a family. I know
that's not for everyone, but some people really would benefit from starting a
family. If you don't have a family, it's something to at least consider.

~~~
fffuuu1234
I'm married. I have an amazing wife and want kids. One thing that is killing
me is that I now have the whole kids plan on hold. My wife is supportive of
me, but she's hurting that we need to hold on those plans for now.

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luckystrike
Get a job and put your startup/consulting plans on hold for a while (6
months?). After this cool down period, re-evaluate your priorities in life and
then charter out your next steps.

I know it is easier said than done but don't let your past experiences bog you
down. You don't even know how all those dots would connect in the future.

All the best.

~~~
fffuuu1234
Thanks. The getting a job part is turning out to be quite difficult but I'm
actively looking.

~~~
rudasn
It took me 2 years to find a job that I really liked (and remotely, I'm in
Europe too) and during that time I made sure to have a job that paid the bills
and spent a lot of time on learning more stuff and doing side projects. The
side projects didn't go anywhere but they sure where a learning experience.

Keep it up and try not to judge yourself too much - constructively critisise
and not overwhelm yourself.

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akg
I will start by saying that for someone to do 7 startups and also travel the
world, well that is pretty impressive. A lot of "making it" has to do with
timing. I would say that you need to keep at it and don't give up. The worst
thing you can do is to stop working your passion. So if you have some ideas,
go out there and try them, again. Who know, this time it may work out. Failure
is nothing to be ashamed of. Many great people have gone through several
failures before they are seen as successes. Rovio, the guys who made Angry
Birds, took 8 years, 51 titles, and in 2009 a close to bankruptcy claim to
achieve their “overnight” success. Sometimes things just take time to
germinate. Here is another great short by Michael Jordan talking about
failure:

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-EMOb3ATJ0&feature=fvst](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-EMOb3ATJ0&feature=fvst)

Other than that, I think that if you really are miserable, you should take a
step back, take a moment to introspect about what you really want. Are
startups what you really want to do? Do you really like traveling? Finding
what you want can be the hardest thing to do sometimes. It might help to take
some time off, go to a remote place and do some serious thinking. I would also
even suggest a Vipassna retreat, there are several in different locations
throughout the country.

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vipassanā>

You are only 32, not that old, and have a lot of life ahead of you. Never give
up on your dreams nor on yourself. There is greatness in human potential.

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gamechangr
With the information you have provided (your 32, two masters degrees, traveled
the world) it sounds like you haven't had much opportunity to build real world
working experience?? I am trying to be helpful (not critical) and point out
that you have had much of a career yet (Hacker community really wouldn't put
much stock in the two masters degrees)

I also am early thirties have lived in three countries, but worked for three
startups for 2,2, and 5 years (no masters).

The single best piece of advice that anyone could give you...MOVE TO SILICON
VALLEY TODAY.

Hope that helps

~~~
robyates
Can't agree with this more. It's like trying to make a movie in Hollywood vs.
everywhere else. Also, teach yourself to code if you can or take an intro CS
course.

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keeptrying
Quora.com/startup-inspiration

Learn to code. Lots of resources out there now and u can do this while hunting
for a job. With your business experience I think if you had the ability to
create the system then you'd be golden.

To make rent, join up as a salesperson someplace - REI is a great job.
Actually I found a friend a job there who was in exactly your shoes.

You really need to learn to detach yourself from labels and words. It's not
easy but I think it's the only way an entrepreneur can succeed without going
insane.

Right now focus on getting any job at all that will pay rent. Recruiter,
market research, REI sales, retail, - hit all possibilities.

Then learn to code part time. Then get a coding job at startup. Then startup.
Yeah it's 2 year plan but it's doable and for the next 10 years you'll have a
job that pays you at least 100k.

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trevelyan
You must be under a lot of stress right now.

Just practically, 12 months isn't much time for any of your businesses to get
traction, and being outside the United States usually means bootstrapping
without much visibility. So even if you started another business NOW and it
really became something, you'd still have to wait several years before being
able to draw anything near the sort of salary that would count as a "decent
living" and stop you from feeling depressed about it.

I'd think about getting a job. There's no reason you can't continue to do your
own thing part-time. It might help you put together a better business if you
can spend more time and money exploring things you enjoy, instead of focusing
on what you can do in the short term to just scrape by.

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corkill
Sell the skills you have, e.g. do small business internet marketing
consulting. Get six clients to pay you $500 a month. Work out the minimum you
need to live, so you have max time to work on something else.

I would guess, your main problems might be: 1) making stuff people don't want,
ideas suck, make stuff people want. All the lead gen and marketing in the
world can't help if people don't want it. 2) not committing to something
(probably because people don't want it and you are not sure about it).

Strongly agree with comments about working out, spend 20 mins every day doing
it and thinking positive.

Keep going, don't turn back. Ordinary ----------> Failure -----------> Success

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leslyn
Just want to say how awesome it is that so many people reached out here with
offers of personal contact!! If you still need additional support I am also
offering. I am an educated professional counselor and may be able to offer a
coaching perspective. My email too, is in my profile.

My immediate advice is to follow the previous advice about eating, sleeping,
and activity. In addition, list your strengths (you are willing to take risks,
you are educated, you are smart, you have expertise, you are well traveled,
etc.....) and focus on them.

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zerostar07
Where in Europe are you? Were your startups focusing in Europe (markets are
fragmented and unprofitable in most but the northwest)? Have you considered
more conventional ideas? Creating something that goes with the flow (facebook
apps/mobile / blogging etc)? 7 failed ideas doesn't sound much, esp. given
that in the internet business ideas cost very little (I have many more failed
projects myself). Educated, married and well traveled and you 're whining? I
'd say "buck up" in a friendly way.

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pchristensen
I'd vote first for stability, then confidence. Without those two things your
odds of building a successful startup are basically non-existent.

One other useful data point would be: where are you, and where are you willing
to move to?

It sounds like you have bigger issues than can be hashed out in a comment
thread. My email is in my profile if you want to talk more.

~~~
fffuuu1234
That's where my thoughts are going right now.

I'm in Europe. I'll write you an email.

Thanks.

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mapster
It can seem like an endless road and a thankless career. Focus on a simpler,
basic life of the happy wanderer. Less computer time is probably a good step
too. Too much stimuli of success images making you feel insignificant, and
that is not true. email if you'd like to chat.

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chris_dcosta
What are the startups you worked on and why do you consider them to be
failures? Maybe HN takes a different (more positive) view although I realise
that telling us what they are might also identify you.

I just thought it might help to do a bit of HN Therapy.

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wallflower
I'm sorry to read this. In my worldview, someone who has traveled most of the
world is the opposite of a failure. It all comes down to how you feel about
things. What makes you feel better? May I suggest volunteering? Without having
met you, I feel like you have a world of experience and knowledge to offer.
But your results seem to indicate that you are not getting what you want.
Money is essential for living in the modern world; is there anyone who you
could crash with for a while? When I used to read my diaries of my youth, I
was struck by how depressed I consistently put down on paper. Things aren't
what they seem to you.

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pdebruic
Send me an email, my info is in my profile. I have a need for someone with
your skills. Location doesn't matter, but I'd like to see what you've done
before and if you're interested in what I have to offer. Thanks.

~~~
fffuuu1234
I'll contact you. Thanks.

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soho33
could it be that you give up easily? i'm just trying to figure out why your
last 6 startups failed? what was the reason? having 6 startup failurs in 7
years means you only allowed 1 year for each product before jumping ship.

maybe the problem is that you haven't found the product or startup that you
passionate about to make it go to the next level without giving up.

so what were the reasons for the startup failures?

~~~
fffuuu1234
I think is a combination of things. In the first ones, inexperience above all.
In the last 3 I simply couldn't generate enough traction.

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27182818284
First, how old are you? I'm curious.

~~~
fffuuu1234
32.

