
Best app store review ever - flyingyeti
http://mike3k.posterous.com/best-app-store-review-ever
======
TorKlingberg
Is there really no better way to put an Apple app store review online than as
a series of screenshots?

~~~
m_eiman
Possibly. The reviews shown in the store are localized to your country, to
unless they have an option for viewing all reviews regardless of origin it'll
be impossible for me in Sweden to read US reviews, e.g.

~~~
ugh
You can switch to the different App Stores by clicking the flag button in the
bottom right corner in iTunes. You won’t be able to buy anything but you can
read the reviews. There is, however, as far as I know no way of linking to
individual reviews and you apparently can’t copy or even just select text.

~~~
panacea
You can't switch in the iOS App Store App though.

~~~
lancewiggs
yes you can - just logout and re-login using your id from another country. To
get an id from another country use logout of everything in iTunes, flip to
that country, sign-up and choose a payment type of 'none' along the way.

~~~
panacea
Thanks for the hack. I'll try it out some time.

The thing is though, why do I need to jump through hoops to get meta-reviews?

The iTunes Store is displayed as web pages within a deficient browser (iTunes
or the iOS app). It's the web stripped of its greatest utilities. Worldwide
participation and annotation, extensibility, customizability etc.

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beck5
Ok good, so I'm not alone in being totally confused by the UI. I would rather
play myst than color.

~~~
vtail
There is Myst for iPhone/iPad, btw.

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CSherman
For easier reading:

Color is a ground-breaking new entry in the new genre of MMPRLMG (Massive
Multi-Player Real-Live Marketing Games).

Imagine yourself emerging from the dense forest of the App Store(TM). In a
clearing ahead you see a shiny new icon, a multicolor wheel. Its name is
Color. In the distance you hear marketing dogs yelping buzz. "Social!" "Find
Someone." "Party!" You press Install, and your adventure begins!

You tap the app and you're presented with your first challenge. The
gatekeeper. You must enter you name and have your picture taken before you can
continue. "What will my name be used for?" you ask. No response. "Who will see
my picture?" Silence. "You must give us your name and image or you cannot
proceed" the interface insists. You acquiesce, wondering if you haven't made
your first mistake. But there's no going on until you do, and you WANT to go
on.

You are whisked through a portal into a chamber. Along the border are strange
icons. In the middle a large, jaunty, mural in the seat-pocket-emergency-
evacuation-instructions drawing style. It shows intent people in pants all
taking pictures with their phones. The capture reads "Take photos together."

You decide to explore the icons. One's sort of an infinity/Ying/Yang. You
wonder what that's supposed to mean. You tap the icon and find yourself on a
blank screen. The icon changes to overlapping ovals. What does this new icon
mean? You tap that one. You return to the mural room.

You examine the third icon, clearly a clock. You tap it. You see your face,
name, and the date. Nothing else. The clock icon is now lit up. You wonder
what that means. You notice that questions are starting to accumulate. Should
you be writing them down? You tap the clock icon again. It turns into a white
screen with the words "No messages." The icon has turned into a sound-wave.
You wonder what that means.

You continue to poke around the interface. There are no settings. No info
buttin. No hints. You start to sweat a little. No tutorial. No about screen.
No credits. No link to a website.

Then you remember the warning. The one written next to the install button. "Do
not use Color alone!" You call up a friend. You both look at the interface
together. There's no change.

Now things are getting spooky. Is this all there is? Is there no one to
explain what these things are or how they work? Is this interface really so
simple and obvious that it doesn't need any kind of guide? The though suddenly
crosses your mind that you might not be technically savvy enough to understand
an interface that's so simple it doesn't need a manual!

But this is a Real-Life Adventure game, and you have assists! You cast the
Google spell. You discover that the developers spent months developing
advanced analysis and data-mining technology. It analyzes location, and
position, and light, and ambient noise, and bluetooth signal strength so it
can... so it can... "What?" you ask out loud! "What on earth is it going to do
with all of this informa..." and you shut your mouth. Is it listening now? Is
it analyzing your level of frustration, the shaking in your hand, the defeated
angle of the device? Is somewhere a database recording your inability to solve
this twenty-first century enigma that you hold in you hand?

You find the company web site. It has no instructions. No "About us!" link. No
tutorial, or feature lists, or forums, or support, or contacts, or FAQS. You
can almost hear the developers laughing at you! "Silly user, sniffing around
our website looking for information! We gather information, we don't give it
out!"

You conquered Myst. You understood the end of Lost. You can do this!. You're
not going to let this new adventure game genre get the best of you! You will
master this if it takes all weekend. You discover a button to create a group!
You wonder what a group is. Progress, of sorts.

But at least you know it's just a game, and not actually an app to share
photos. And now you also know that you are along. And you're uncool. And not
very clever. Because Color told you so.

~~~
devtesla
Thank you for typing it out :)

------
willheim
I don't think we have ever in the history of the world seen a start-up so
mindbogglingly confusing. Wait, let me clarify that statement with the
amendment "handed $41m".

Seriously, has anyone figured out how to use color and found anything good of
it? The reason we're all "piling on" is because NONE of us "get it".

------
danberger
Amazing. I love the fact he referenced Myst!

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grandalf
All this anti-color sentiment is really unbecoming. Just get over it and work
on your own startup.

~~~
raganwald
Digression:

I remember a time when being a nerd was really unfashionable. People would
laugh at us. The word "geek" actually comes from circus parlance, it means
someone who does disgusting things like bite the heads off of chickens for the
entertainment of the crowd. Being called a "geek" meant being socially
repulsive.

The usual dynamic was that somebody who wanted to establish themselves as an
alpha would pick on a defenseless target--like a nerd--and engage in some old-
fashioned shaming, sometimes with physical bullying thrown in for good
measure.

Then the rest of the group would join in like the good little toadies that
they were, each eager to prove that they're "in" to ensure that they aren't
chosen as the next target.

Our luck changed when the Information Age accelerated. Our skills were in
demand and we were able to build things that changed people's lives for the
better. Some of us got stinking rich and helped others get filthy stinking
rich. Being a nerd no longer meant being socially ostracized. Other people
didn't point at us and laugh.

So what do we do with our new-found freedom from being the butt of everybody's
jokes?

Well, it seems that sometimes we look within our own circle and point fingers
at someone and laugh at them, joining in together in the fun of picking a
victim and socially ostracizing them.

At times like this I feel that we haven't really changed the game, we've just
moved the lines around a little and shuffled the jerseys.

~~~
achompas
Something tells me Bill Nguyen, DJ Patil etc. are not socially ostracized in
Silicon Valley.

EDIT: Don't confuse social ridicule with vanilla-flavored skepticism.

~~~
raganwald
It feels like we're laughing and shaming them right here in our cozy little
tree fort. Or do I misread things and this is all really constructive, healthy
analysis designed to help YC Startups do the right thing once they've raised
M$40+?

UPDATE: You added a point about skeptism after I replied. Well, simple
skepticism would lead to one or two stories. They raised some money, their app
doesn't work, their business plan is flawed. Ok, move along, nothing more to
see here. The attention they're getting here on HN and the emotional
investment people are pouring into this "skeptism" goes above and beyond what
one would expect from dispassionate observation.

The tone and disproportionate representation suggests this is not just
skepticism, but rather it's a social feeding frenzy. See the comment elsewhere
about making fun of Colour for a week or two until it has jumped the shark: I
think that author nailed it exactly, we are not expressing skepticism, we did
that when it was first mentioned. We are now beating a dead horse for purely
social reasons.

~~~
achompas
First: updated my post to reflect the edit. Sorry for that--didn't think you'd
see my response so quickly.

Second, it takes a certain kind of person to repeatedly slam a company that
has no effect on their lives. If some hypothetical HN reader is criticizing
Color constantly, then no amount of social grace will help them.

~~~
raganwald
The simple truth is that when something like this was going on over Cuil, I
looked "raganwald" up in Cuil, thought the result was very funny, and posted
it on HN. So... Perhaps I wrote that comment with myself in mind, rather than
an appeal to other people to change what they are doing.

(The mind is a funny thing. It is the most powerful computing device we have
encountered so far, yet it has a ridiculously primitive and broken tool chain
with a debugger that hides or even lies about what's actually going on.)

~~~
achompas
Amen dude. Thanks for such a candid response...for what it's worth I have no
knowledge of Cuil so you're definitely okay in my book. :)

------
statictype
At this point, we're just beating a dead horse when it comes to Color.com.

Flagged.

~~~
ascendant
Since they're currently the poster child for the "Are-we-in-another-tech-
bubble-41-mil-before-launch-says-maybe" era we find ourselves in, I'd think we
have at least another week of good stories making fun of them before it jumps
the shark.

~~~
statictype
Sure, but is HN the right place for it?

~~~
ascendant
Since this is _the_ watering hole for discussions related to startups, I'm not
sure where else it would go.

~~~
raganwald
Has HN become a watering hole? Believe it or not, it didn't start out that
way. I remember people doing serious work to moderate away ValleyWag and other
stuff that is intensely popular/viral but counter to the original vision.

~~~
nlawalker
_Believe it or not, it didn't start out that way._

If there was one phrase that could describe virtually everything the web has
touched, this would probably be it.

~~~
raganwald
I've always said that something is worth reading if there's one good idea in
it. Your comment could easily be the most insightful statement in this entire
thread.

"What makes the desert beautiful, is that somewhere, it hides a well."--
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

------
gcb
proof that interface and pleasing users means little to acquire vast sums of
money from old economy capitalists.

------
noob007
I guess it's right to use the word 'LOL' here :p

~~~
k00k
Especially seeing as it was just added to the Oxford Dictionary -
<http://bit.ly/dSmjvL>

~~~
aw3c2
Hi, first of all, welcome to Hacker News. I hope you will enjoy this site.

Please do not ever use URL shorteners around here. Thanks!

~~~
WiseWeasel
Especially ones that go through Libyan DNS under Gaddafi's control, someone
currently in active conflict with the rest of the world.

~~~
aw3c2
That's some really low propaganda. By that logic you would not want to use any
domain from a "first world" country since they are actively in conflict (by
exploiting) the rest of the world. Also, most of them are at war somewhere.

~~~
WiseWeasel
I'm simply saying that retribution by Gaddafi on western companies or end
users is not out of the question. As a user, I would rather avoid going
through any Libyan servers during peacetime, and that obviously becomes
increasingly risky as the thuggish regime becomes desperate.

It's not the fact that Libya is at war, it's the fact that it's a completely
corrupt and brutal regime in "normal" times, and I especially don't trust them
with my packet requests in these desperate times.

------
AlexMuir
Although they own colour.com, searching for 'Colour' in the App Store takes
you nowhere. Doh.

~~~
JeremyBanks
Is there something they can do about this?

