

Show HN: My first landing page ever created for a mobile app. Feedback? - iamjonlee
http://www.grooovy.me/

======
BasDirks
Don't use a bazillion png's. Use Google Web Fonts[1] or Typekit[2]. iphone.png
just sucks massive balls. No f __ _ing clue what grooovy is about from your
landing page. "Read the full post here" links to<http://www.grooovy.me/>, not
the actual post[3].

_The sun’s rising. The air is silent except for the low monotonous hum of the
laptop and occasional chirping of the birds. You lean back into your chair;
life is great. Glancing across the empty room, you spot your phone underneath
the bed. You check your phone for missed messages but there are none.
Something is amiss. It takes a while but you realize it- you’re feeling pretty
lonely.*

Terrible. Who is your target audience? Forever alone meme?

[1] <http://www.google.com/webfonts#> [2] <http://typekit.com/> [3]
<http://blog.grooovy.me/69425327>

Fix your page, and your copy.

------
dageshi
Firstly kudos for having the balls to post it on here for people to bitch
about but...

I'm really not sure what it's about? I gather it's something to do with
meeting people but really I think I need a bit more than that.

And I'm not really sure I like the wording of the main tagline, something like
"Helping you connect with people outside of work and school" would be better,
for me anyway.

Oh and the link saying "Read full post here" doesn't seem to link to anything
meaningful.

~~~
iamjonlee
Thanks! I've changed the tagline to "Connecting at your own pace". I'll fix up
the rest of the landing page shortly. Thanks for your feedback!

------
aculver
I like the over-all look and feel of the page. However, it's flaws IMHO are
numerous. I'm going to go from top-left to bottom-right, since it's safe to
assume your visitors will do the same.

Social media links should be at the bottom of the page. They are a type of
call-to-action and having folks click on them is a type of conversion. Ask
them to make that decision after figuring out what your app is about.

I like the _layout_ of the product shot on the left, but the scaling is all
wrong. It looks blurry.

Your tagline should give people a general idea of what your app does.

Clicking a link to a blog article should not be the main conversion on this
page. I also shouldn't have to read the blog article to understand what your
app does. Instead, this page should have already taught me as much as I need
to know about your app to determine whether I want to keep updated on it's
progress. If I do, you should be taking my email address at this point.

After reading all the copy on the page, I still don't have any idea what the
app does.

I hope that helps. :)

~~~
iamjonlee
Your feedback was really helpful!

I'll look into the social media links and rearrange the layout a little
better.

I'm relatively new at photoshop so didn't know how to tilt the image the same
way as the iphone template. I'll just use a normal iphone image instead of
trying to tilt it.

I've changed the tagline to "Connecting at your own pace" by your
recommendation-thanks

I agree that the link to the blog article shouldn't be the main convo on this
page. I'll change it out and clarify what the app really does.

------
spxdcz
Are you asking for feedback on the app idea or the landing page?

Quick comments on the landing page: in terms of SEO, it needs a lot of work.
Your page title doesn't include any relevant keywords, and there is zero
indexable content on the page - all the text is in images, which don't even
have alt text. For a couple of quick wins, do some keyword research around
your subject (use the Google Keyword Tool to find some relevant keywords with
low comp / relatively ok volume) and use these in your title and page content
(alt tags, if you don't want to change the page).

EDIT: Also, put Google Analytics on there, so that you can start to collect
data ASAP on where your potential customers are coming from.

EDIT 2: You might want to distill the app idea down to a few key benefits on
the landing page. As an example, take a look at what we did with our Mingle
iPhone app: <http://getmingle.com/>

------
ericmsimons
The iPhone's screen looks really bad.

Also, I'm not sure what problem I have meeting people outside of school/work.
What is the specific problem that you're trying to address? Also, you probably
don't want to advertise that you haven't solved the problem yet.

EDIT: grammar & last sentence

------
n9com
The screenshot of the app is terrible (make it front on, and in high quality)
and after looking at the webpage, I still have no clue what your app is about.
Is it a food app?

------
madamepsychosis
The design is nice, would be cool if you sped up the page a bit. It's a little
slow (maybe that's just for me?). Also, it'd be nice if you made the iPhone
picture a higher resolution.

It's obvious what problem your app is trying to solve, but it's not very clear
how. The blog doesn't help in explaining this at all. The landing page is
interesting and nice-looking, but it could do with some more explanation
("it's X for Y!" wouldn't hurt)

------
nicksergeant
Preload the hover state on the "read the post" button.

Also, after reading the entire page, I still don't know what this app does /
is supposed to do. You need more information on this page (not just a link to
a post).

Edit: clicking through to the blog still gives me nothing. I clicked with the
intent of "what is this app?" and got "THE VIRAL EXPERIMENT. FREE SUSHI DINNER
FOR 2 #GRUBWITHUS IN SF 9/12".

Confusing.

------
jperezcu
What happened to the upper half of the iPhone home button? And what's with the
W ("We blog...") floating around between the white piece of paper and the
beige background? Pay more attention to detail, otherwise users will notice
that.

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drivebyacct2
The screenshot on the iPhone is very blurry. I hate text-as-an-image.

------
benologist
Ask for feedback when it's a product...

