

Ask HN: What consequences does marriage have on your startup? - rvivek

I read through this thread (http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=617503) but the comments started deviating from what the topic was meant for.
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timo614
It really depends on the dynamic of the relationship and how supporting of
each other both of you are. That said I only have a finance so I really can't
say how marriage will be (although I've lived with her for nearly 3 years so I
guess I have a general idea).

I have to say it's kind of like how PG goes on about how startups should have
more than one founder so that they'll be able to carry the load together... I
would not be where I am today without her continued support and I'd like to
think vise versa.

That said I've dated other women who got mad if I didn't unplug for a weekend
entirely and would go out dancing and drinking every night at a club. Honestly
I don't know how things would have been if we had got married -- I think the
relationship wouldn't be able to stand the pressures of life. It took me a
long time (likely longer than it should have) to find the right person to
counter balance my own weaknesses and encourage me to keep striving toward my
goals.

The key isn't waiting for a time when life's pressures disappear but finding
something who has the tenacity to tackle them with you.

Be good to each other and I think you'll be fine.

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martinshen
It bothers me that the concern is consequences of marriage on startup... Not
startup on marriage.

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eduardordm
In my case, it helped me a lot. My wife gives me perpective, marriage is never
time consuming, it's just the opposite, your partner will help you when you
need the most. Just knowing you have someone to help when you fail miserably
(trust me, you will) makes your decision making process more rational. I've
been married for 6 years.

Being single is not an advantage at all if you have a healthy marriage. I
don;t really know what happens when marriages don't work.

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zio99
If anything, I'd say it'd work out better for your startup than not. See, the
point is not to confuse dating with marriage, which can be quite the
distraction. Marriage is after having found someone that supports your
aspirations/startup (you would hope).

Your spouse will push you to new limits, much like your co-founders would, and
will keep you grounded like Anand mentioned below. I think the best pair of
co-founders is exactly that - one realist, one dreamer.

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anandkulkarni
Our cofounder Dave got married a week before Demo Day.

It's been an asset to our startup: a married member of the team keeps us
grounded and gives the company perspective.

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mchannon
All marriages are different, as are all relationships.

Married people tend to be slightly happier than single people (not sure if
that's hardworking happy or fat dumb happy), and as many distractions as
marriages add, many distractions single people face get handled or eliminated
by the other partner.

Startups are stressful places and marriages tend to reduce stress on average;
I'd look at it as a very weak plus.

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jamesjguthrie
Meeting my fiancee has been the best thing that's ever happened to me, gave me
ambition again and is probably the reason why I'm doing the start-up thing
now.

We live together, have a 10 month old baby and we're getting married in July.
I don't think the marriage will change anything.

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glaugh
My wife is our biggest fan, harshest critic, and our first customer. Also,
she's kind of our den mother.

It's not particularly easy to spend this much time apart, but she's a champ
about it. We would not be the same company without her.

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paulhauggis
It really depends on who you are marrying. Startups can destroy a marriage if
your husband/wife doesn't understand or doesn't support you.

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AznHisoka
I'm not married yet, but I think marriage would only be a net benefit. No
sexual frustration = more focus and clarity :)

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vaske
it brings me a lot, stable sex life means clear focus on work...so it's
benefit!

