

Hilariously Mean Roger Ebert Reviews - kosei
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/40-hilariously-mean-roger-ebert-reviews/

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kosei
He really had a way with one-liners. I'll miss that.

"No matter what they’re charging to get in, it’s worth more to get out."

"Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be
entertained by it."

"If I ever do a festival of films that deserve to be overlooked, Friends &
Lovers is my opening night selection."

"It is hopelessly incompetent… I am not certain that anyone involved has ever
seen a movie, or knows what one is."

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keithpeter
_"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn’t the
bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This
movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."_

I wonder if critics (the ones who write a column every day or week) have
paragraphs like this written out beforehand and _look_ for a product to use it
on? Sort of boilerplate?

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bennesvig
Possibly a few, just how some comedians have responses ready for hecklers. I
also imagine many of the horrible movies would fill him with enough negative
energy to channel into creating the witty lines for each film.

~~~
keithpeter
That looks to be true on the basis of the sample here! Ebert's writing is
perhaps not as well known here in the UK.

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bcgraham
This is one of my favorites: About Shyamalan's "The Village":

"To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to
prefixes. It's a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative
originality from It Was All a Dream. It's so witless, in fact, that when we do
discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don't know the secret
anymore.

"And then keep on rewinding, and rewinding, until we're back at the beginning,
and can get up from our seats and walk backward out of the theater and go down
the up escalator and watch the money spring from the cash register into our
pockets."

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matthuggins
What is wrong with The Frighteners?? That movie is awesome!

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LandoCalrissian
That was the only one that really stood out for me on the list. It's a really
fun movie all around.

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danielweber
From the title I thought these were going to be mean reviews _of_ Roger Ebert.

