

If this is your recruiter, tell them they are doing it wrong... - jmspring

In the past few days, I have received similar emails.  I've sanitized this one a little bit, but I think I am going to start referring to them as Nigerian Recruiters.<p>An example of how not to reach out to people:<p>---
I wanted to reach out as I am working with the CEO of a killer new company, with great investors and team (ex &#60;big companies here&#62;).<p>They are working on building out a game changing communication platform utilizing cutting edge aspects of both cloud and mobile technologies. One 
key role that I am on the hunt for is a &#60;senior sounding "lead role"&#62; engineer to drive the development of a core piece of their product strategy. They are developing a breakthrough cloud-enabled device that will change the way we communicate. The company are &#60;small number&#62; people and are going to ramp up quickly over the next 2 quarters. Please let me know if you may be interested in learning more and let's jump on a 15 minute call at your soonest convenience.
---
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jmspring
My problems with the email:

"killer company" "game changing <blah blah blah>" "cutting edge aspects"
"breakthrough cloud-enabled" "change the way we..." "ramp up quickly"

Basically every sentence has a phrase that is cliche. More facts, less hype. I
seriously expected to read something about social and local in this.

The same email can be written without the hyperbole.

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chris_dcosta
Recruiters know nothing about anything, but I wouldn't dismiss this just
because the person was trying too hard to make it attractive.

At the end of the day, the client is the person that can properly tell you
what it's about and I haven't come across a recruiter yet that could tell me
the difference between javascript and php. It's not their job to know such
trivial details...

Be nice it may just be worth it.

~~~
Peroni
_...and I haven't come across a recruiter yet that could tell me the
difference between javascript and php._

It appears we haven't met before.

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3825
Any recommendation on what they should be doing instead?

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vail130
Not be utterly full of bullshit...

The way it's worded clearly sounds over-hyped. I would skip that job
description every time I saw it.

Things that would make it better:

\- More specific about industry and platform/product

\- Specific role responsibilities

\- Description of work environment, including equipment, other people, etc.

\- Specific experience and skills required & desired

This is basically regular job description stuff.

~~~
jmspring
Exactly.

You can have hype, but put some actual content in the email.

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skormos
No reference to "rock star" or "code ninja"? FAIL.

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larrys
"An example of how not to reach out to people"

Would be helpful, for the purposes of discussion, if you added your thoughts
on how you would write the same email that in your opinion would have worked.

~~~
Peroni
I'll bite.

 _They are working on building out a game changing communication platform
utilizing cutting edge aspects of both cloud and mobile technologies._

Building it with what? Lego? Communication platform... forum, email, sms, IM,
etc. etc. details please.

 _One key role that I am on the hunt for is a <senior sounding "lead role">
engineer to drive the development of a core piece of their product strategy._

Again, detail. What's the core piece that this killer company are currently
missing and need to hire someone to build? Will I have people reporting to me?

 _They are developing a breakthrough cloud-enabled device that will change the
way we communicate._

So they make hardware that relies on virtual storage? Whilst vague, it also
sounds completely off the wall. This isn't peaking my interest, it's making me
skeptical.

 _The company are <small number> people and are going to ramp up quickly over
the next 2 quarters._

So they are predicting growth over the next 6 months. How much growth and why?

 _Please let me know if you may be interested in learning more and let's jump
on a 15 minute call at your soonest convenience._

If you can surmise the company and the opportunity available within 15 minutes
then good luck.

It's impossible to rewrite the email without info on the actual company. It's
standard, vague recruiter drivel written to sound like a super hot company
instead of sounding like another dime-a-dozen start-up.

~~~
larrys
Thanks for the detail I agree with your points.

I will add this though from my many years of experience in getting cliche
emails in another area (not recruiting).

The skill of the person writing the email does not always equate to the
opportunity.

As such, if we can assume that this email was written by the wrong person (for
whatever reason) there could still be an opportunity there that is worth
exploring.

And (and this is important) think as well of the lack of competition for the
opportunity because of the amount of people that are _turned off_ because of
the way it is written. See the paradox?

That said of course this could be a bogus or simply bad opportunity. And
likewise a well written email could also be. My point being is that you don't
necessarily have to waste 10 minutes on the phone you can also simply hit
reply and ask a few questions because maybe this might be the needle in a
haystack which just happened to task the wrong recruiter to do the job.

The OP's point is taken. This _isn't_ what recruiters should do to attract
many candidates. Otoh it could be a good situation for someone who reads it on
an individual level.

