
Eye Contact: How Long Is Too Long? - jimsojim
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/eye-contact-how-long-is-too-long/
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joeyrideout
I recently finished an improv class that touched on the importance of eye
contact when portraying different levels of "status" while improvising a
character. Eye contact was said to be a high-status behavior, and an easy
trick to portray yourself as a person in a position of power was to make
plenty of eye contact (among other body language hints). The opposite was true
for low-status characters. Being comfortable holding eye-contact with someone
was akin to seeing them as an equal, which could lead to them liking you more
due to in-group bias. A hobby of mine now is to actively play with the level
of eye contact I make with people and see how they react - holding eye contact
with my boss for a long time, for example.

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sleazebreeze
I failed a job interview recently where the interviewer seemed much less
comfortable than me with eye contact. He was fidgeting constantly and only
briefly looking into my eyes and then quickly looking away. On the other hand,
I remained confident, composed and was perfectly comfortable maintaining eye
contact.

On paper, the interview went great and I had no problems with the whiteboard
questions or any of the other questions. However, his body language was
clearly not vibing with mine. He may have felt I came off too aggressive and
overconfident. For the record, I did not think it was confrontational, in fact
the conversation itself was pretty easy going and fun as far as technical
interviews go.

I've been thinking about it and trying to come up with a way of calibrating my
body language in the moment to make the other person more at ease. If anyone
has any suggestions on reading, I'd love to hear them. I've read that FBI
agent's book [1] since then and found it a little bit helpful, but nothing
earthshattering. The author is more concerned with cracking/breaking people
than making them comfortable.

[1] [http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-
Reading/d...](http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-
Reading/dp/0061438294)

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flycaliguy
Definitely find a copy of Impro by Keith Johnstone. Most likely the source of
the poster's improv games. Really a lot of great insight about status and how
to play status like a game.

~~~
nmc
The Internet Archived has referenced this full scan of the book on PDF.yt:
[http://pdf.yt/d/KIkLrSPi_3lzPl5v](http://pdf.yt/d/KIkLrSPi_3lzPl5v)

No idea how legal this is though, download at your own risk.

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mgraczyk
Meta question: The article is dated Jan 1, 2016. That's 4 days from now. Is it
common for magazines to publish articles "in the future"? Do they do this so
the electronic date matches the print date?

~~~
superuser2
Yes, articles are dated according to the print issue they're in even though
they go online before printing.

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Someone
That may not even be before printing. Chances are the paper version even
already is in stores.

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xpinguin
Does one deemed to be always percepted as an underdog, if he intentionally
avoids any eye contact?

For example, even a glimpse into the interlocutor's eye while having a
conversation (esp. a constructive/technical one) completely shatters my
thought process, feels like my mental resources are drained towards some
unconscious "computation". Almost the same effect with the facial features
alone, yet not that strong. As a result, when I interact with someone, I do
not look at that person, even when handshaking, just unconsciously focus on
some static object: cup of coffee, crack on the wall, etc.

People who stoutly seeks an eye contact, despite all the avoidance, literaly
derange me. Blood is just freaking boils in my veins, like I am going to
punish it in its weasel face right now (never happend though, just state of
mind). On contrary, I have no such problem with babies (hard to estimate, but
probably up to age of 6 or sth like that) or domestic animals.

Has anyone encountered something like that? Do you consider that a problem? As
for me, I feel that such trait constrains my ability to effectively (eg. being
treated as an equal) engage in communication in non-technical social
environments.

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Grishnakh
It probably does; you really should work on that. (I say that as a fellow
introvert.) Eye contact is one of those things where moderation is definitely
key; too little and people think you're shifty or withdrawn, too much and they
think you're a psychopath or something. A good amount shows confidence, but
too much is intimidating. The way you act is going to severely limit your
ability to socialize and get good employment, a girlfriend, etc.

As for animals and babies, that makes perfect sense too: those things aren't
usually a threat to you in any way, either physically or socially, except
maybe for large and aggressive dogs in which case strong eye contact is useful
because it shows the dog that you're the "alpha dog".

