
Enthusiasm Goes A Long Way Over Email - craigkerstiens
http://www.gettingmoreawesome.com/2011/08/16/enthusiasm/
======
donall
I think the author is right about the use of emoticons and I think they're an
underused and misunderstood form of communication. I similarly used to avoid
them, but I also used to get into a lot of misunderstandings in long e-mail
exchanges. People would misinterpret my concise and direct messages as being
brusque, impatient, etc.

In my experience, throwing in an occasional light-hearted remark accompanied
by a smiley face actually makes a huge difference. Obviously it's not always
appropriate and, like many textspeak artifacts, they're open to abuse, LOL :).
But, in general, I think emoticons put a human slant on what is an otherwise
very impersonal communication medium. I would equate their use with the use of
small-talk in face-to-face conversations - it doesn't contribute anything
meaningful to the discussion, but it often puts people at ease.

------
corin_
I think it very much depends on who you are, different people will have
different reactions. Personally, although I use smileys in Skype/SMS/etc. (a
lot), if anyone uses them in an email, business related in particular, I get
pissed off. I don't know why that's my reaction for email from friends, but
when it comes to work stuff: we're talking in a professional manner, so act
professionally please. (Again, that's an instruction based on my personal
feeling, I'm not suggesting everyone ought to think like that.)

But yes, I do agree with being friendly - as long as it's authentic, not
sickeningly fake and over-the-top, it will almost always be an improvement.

~~~
toumhi
act professionally != being dull

I don't see what's unprofessional in using smileys and an enthusiastic tone,
to me it sounds better that way instead of sounding dull and stiff.

~~~
BrandonM
I agree. That's like saying one shouldn't smile at work.

~~~
corin_
Face-to-face and email is very different in terms of behaviour - or at least
it is for some people.

In my office swearing is fine, we all do it, and we have plenty of clients in
front of whom I would be fine swearing, and they will swear too (obviously not
at each other, just in general). Swearing in an email or a letter though,
totally unacceptable.

Perhaps a better example of the differences is just that, if you meet with a
client, even one you don't know well, you don't end with "kind regards" or
"yours sincerely". The fact that you do (or at least, might well) in an
email/letter doesn't really signify a difference in what you are trying to
convey, purely a difference in convention.

I have no problem using humour in an email or a letter, that's fine. I guess
maybe the reason smileys feel inappropriate is because they are so associated
with children. Sure, adults use them, but they started among young people, and
they will forever (I think, but at least still today) remain more popular
among younger age groups. When chatting through IM software it feels fine to
throw off adulthood, when talking to friends I might sometimes open with
something I'd be far too embarassed to actually say in real life, such as
"waddup bitch". Email, for me, is a high-tech version of the letter, not a
high-tech version of face-to-face.

~~~
SoftwareMaven
For the record, they didn't start among young people. Emoticons were in use on
the Internet before I got online in 1990. Kids ran with them because they want
people to know what they are feeling and the feeling they are trying to
portray, which can be nearly impossible to do in reasonably succinct writing.

An occasional emoticon can be useful, but it is easy to over do it. If I see
five, I think "immature". If i see one, I don't think anything.

------
Shenglong
_They also spelled my name correctly!_ <\- So important.

I remember someone sending me an email addressed to "Shenglong"
<myemail@thecompany>, and then the first thing I read was:

"Hi Shelog". Ugh.

------
hammock
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most
important sound in any language. (Rule No.3 from Ways to Make People Like You)

~~~
koolaidavoider
The way that you're addressed can skew the tone though. For example, starting
an email out with "Hi John, can you take a look at this?" sounds much more
friendly than "John, can you take a look at this?"

------
cop359
If I initiate contact I always keep my first email extremely formal and
polite. You never really know how the other person interprets emails (they
could be a total snob for all you know) so it's better to play it safe.

If they respond in a more "casual" way, then I write back in a tone that
matches theirs.

If I am writing to apologize about something, I try to write it in a more
personable manner so that I can connect with them on a personal level. This
generally diffuses any tension and makes people more sympathetic (at the cost
of making you look less professional.. but something that's just worth it)

------
pingswept
When I use emoticons, I feel like a bad writer. I feel like my jokes were too
subtle or just not funny, so I have to make up for my deficiency by inserting
a symbol that says "I MADE A JOKE HERE, BUT NOT WELL ENOUGH THAT YOU GOT IT."

It's the same as in a face-to-face interaction where someone laughs at their
own joke in hopes of inspiring you to laugh-- generally, not a good strategy.

Still, I understand the utility of the emoticon in the customer-service
situation, where you have no shared experience to base jokes on.

~~~
pseudonym
The problem is that it's not always the quality of the joke. A lot of face-to-
face interaction, beyond the words spoken, is the tonal inflections, gestures,
facial expressions, and such that cannot be expressed in a purely text-based
medium. Just pick up any book where two characters have a conversation and
look at how much of the text is what they're saying, and how much is the
narrator talking about what they're doing while saying it, or adjectives about
the tone of voice they're speaking in.

...he said, emphatically.

~~~
pingswept
Yeah, that's what makes writing well so goddam hard. The best writers can do a
great job of communicating without resorting to graphical representations of
the intent of the text. I just wish I were better at it.

~~~
SoftwareMaven
But the best writers aren't throwing out 60 short stories before lunch. They
also have an audience who will actually read all the words.

When communicating via email, brevity us crucial. If I can drop two sentences
by inserting a ;), you better believe I will. To not do so would be
disrespecting the recipient's time so I can hone my writing skills (or lack
thereof, in my case) at her expense.

~~~
pingswept
Yeah, emoticons are efficient. I just feel like a chump using them, like using
a megaphone in a restaurant. It works, but everyone else thinks, "Why can't
that jerk just speak clearly in a normal voice?"

------
matdwyer
I'm emailing customers back and forth a lot, and I like to "humanize" the
company a bit. We're based in Toronto, and if we have someone based in
Montreal, Ottawa, or Vancouver that emails during the winter I'll usually
throw in a jab about hockey.

Something like "You should see it show up in the mail before the next time the
Senators win" - 90% of people are at least aware of hockey around here, and
appreciate a little rivalry. Most respond back with a friendly jab at the
Toronto Maple Leafs, etc.

Doesn't work for everyone, but I've never had anyone say anything bad about it
- in fact it usually gives us something to joke about when/if we talk in
person.

