
Why real time feedback is a terrible idea - jevanish
https://getlighthouse.com/blog/real-time-feedback-bad-idea/
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makerleader
"It would have been so easy, and felt so good in the moment to criticize them
harshly."

If you have to fight the urge to criticize someone harshly, I think there are
deeper rooted issues, lack of empathy being what comes to mind first. I took
this article to be a lengthy way of saying "establish habits to not be a dick
to employees", whereas most of the great managers I have had (and strive to be
myself) come from the place of I _really_ _really_ want my employees to
succeed, and will do what it takes to ensure that.

~~~
jevanish
Maybe you're a special case, but most people are better with some distance to
think about the big picture of what they're doing. It's why people like the
former Presidents we mentioned waited two days to compose such messages. I
spend a lot of time on this stuff and still find that I always have a better
approach when waiting.

It's also the point to emphasize that waiting to have a real conversation
about it is best no matter how polished you are. You can be a perfect
communicator, and taking the time to hear their side, go over examples, and
talk about next steps ensures the feedback is actually meaningful (i.e.- leads
to positive change). Firing that off a note in a "Real Time Feedback" system
does none of that.

I'll bet on the leader that picks their moments for feedback and is deliberate
and detailed, over someone reliant on their exact eloquence in the moment
every time.

~~~
makerleader
I totally agree with stepping back, analyzing for a period, and figuring out
the best approach; I just think if a managers first inclination is to derive
pleasure from harshly criticizing someone there is something really wrong with
the environment/leadership/their personality.

~~~
jevanish
Cool. I think we're generally in agreement then. For many (most?), leadership
is an unnatural act you have to learn, so it takes time not to shoot from the
hip on this stuff. And for anyone, no matter how golden their heart, it's easy
to get caught up in a moment if you don't do the step back you suggest.

The larger point is to encourage the step back and a broader discussion, and
to share some of the data showing that people actually don't want piles of
feedback on every little thing every day.

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itsdrewmiller
Can we just say "younger people" instead of Millennials? It seems pretty
natural that people with less experience would want more frequent feedback on
average.

~~~
jevanish
Millennials is a commonly agreed upon group with a set end point allowing
different studies to be an apples to apples comparison.

Are 33 year olds "younger people"? Because being born in 1983 is the generally
agreed millennial dividing line and starting point of Gen X.

