

Ask HN: My cofounders and I broke up. What do I say to inquiring minds? - nooron

In June my cofounders and I split up. They went on to an accelerator and I&#x27;m looking for other opportunities in similar spaces.<p>People have asked why we split during both interviews and casual conversations, and I&#x27;m never quite sure what to say. So far I&#x27;ve erred on the conservative side of offering an explanation: &quot;not the right partners&quot;, &quot;different visions&quot;, etc. This seems intuitively like the right thing to do. My intuition is often wrong, of course, and I&#x27;ve been asked for more details on a few occasions.<p>What&#x27;s a fellow to do?<p>Many thanks.
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brudgers
Interview setting:

"The business model was not viable."

Which is true, and does not cast its dissolution as _primarily_ over
personality issues, which is also probably true since if the everyone had been
looking at an actual pile of cash, the vision for the company would have been
kicked down the road instead of being everyone's favorite distraction from the
fact that there was not a large pile of cash.

Follow up with, "I think we all, really learned a lot," to emphasize it was a
group effort.

If its a long term setting, don't be afraid to provide the interviewer with
the potentially false impression that you would never do another startup.
There are many settings that don't want potential entrepreneurs.

Good luck.

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rubinelli
You have been asked for more details because "different visions", without an
explanation, is the kind of safe answer people give when they want to hide
messy breakups.

So, in my opinion, an ideal answer would be like "I thought the product would
be better marketed as a SaaS for physicians, but my partner wanted to
emphasize ease of use and sell directly to patients on the App Market."

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barylen
Why did you break up?

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nooron
We discovered that we had very visions for the company, and very different
ideas about how to achieve them.

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pedalpete
I think what Barylen was getting at is, the truth works. If that is the reason
you're not working together anymore, than that is the answer. Why would the
answer be anything else?

However, we all tell ourselves (and tell our) stories to make ourselves feel
better about our situation. As long as you are not lying about the reason that
you've left, then your stories is the truth, your truth.

If, in fact, you were embezzling company funds, than saying "we disagreed on
how to deal with corporate finances" though 'true', is clearly lying.

It's fine to be disappointed with the split, while still appreciating why it
happened.

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nooron
You've caught on that I was pretty disappointed with it at the time.

I appreciate the reassurance, and I feel confident in the truth of my answer.

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argumentum
Just let it all hang out there. What did you do wrong, what did they do wrong?
Was it just not the right team for the right idea?

I'be been through the worst possible breakup, and the only way to move on is
master your own interpretation of events and how to be better the next time.

Don't blame others .. even if they are fault. If they are blame yourself in
not finding good co-founders.

Startups are HARD. Fail, Fail, Fail again, learn each time and one day it will
be your day.

