
I Quit Social Media for a Year - jcpsimmons
https://joshcsimmons.com/2019/09/10/i-quit-social-media-for-a-year-and-nothing-magical-happened/
======
tempsy
My biggest issue with social media is less that it's distracting (IMO not
necessarily an unhealthy thing) but that it has, for me, more than anything
else seemed to make all aspects of my life a competition with others.

On Instagram, you're competing with others on who has the happiest life.

On LinkedIn, you're competing with others on who has the steepest career
trajectory.

Even on Twitter, perhaps more acutely in certain jobs or industries, it seems
like you're competing with other in gaining professional influence.

It creates a lot of anxiety that stems from a feeling like you're constantly
on the verge of falling behind others.

Plenty of scholars/thinkers/philosophers have said something to the effect of
focusing on just being a better version of you. Social media enables the exact
opposite i.e. forcing you to constantly evaluate how you compare to others.

~~~
agotterer
Maybe I’m in the minority, but I like social media and I’m capable of
controlling my usage. I’ve developed some ground rules to ensure a good
healthy experience.

To start, I have an iOS rule that prevents more than 7 minutes of each social
media app per day. I pretty much only use Facebook. After the timer is up
that’s it for the day.

I honestly enjoy seeing picture of my friends, their kids, their vacations,
and the fun things they are doing. I don’t have FOMO and I’m not depressed
seeing people doing something more fun than I am in that exact moment. In some
cases I’m inspired to go somewhere or do something because I know my family or
I would enjoy it. I rarely post myself, even if I’m doing something FOMO
worthy (okay, maybe sometimes). I’ll share some photos from big occasions like
birthdays or weddings since I think other people may want to see them,
especially if they are in the photos.

I generally use social media when I’m waiting for a train, sitting in a
doctors office, or going to the bathroom. I never itch for it during the day
and rarely find myself reaching for the app robotically. One thing that’s
definitely help to curb constant dopamine hits and addiction is disabling all
social media notifications. I’m never pushed content, I only pull it.
Actually, I’ve disabled almost every single notification on my phone with the
exception of imessage, slack, citizen, and photos. My phone never buzzes from
email, social media, or anything else that I find distracting.

One thing I’ve always wanted to do but never do is clean up my Facebook friend
list so it’s only the people I care about. For what it’s worth Facebook seems
to do a decent job of filtering it. But one day I’ll do it right.

~~~
knzhou
I don't know if we're in the minority, but I'm completely with you. I use
social media for about 15 minutes a day and it only improves my life. I'm
happy when I see my friends being happy.

I think people who blame their life problems on social media have deeper
underlying issues. Mark Zuckerberg didn't invent envy in 2004.

~~~
notafrog
Well, I tend to see it like opioids, for example. Some people can just use
their prescribed dosage and in the end they have no addiction whatsoever. Many
more, even though they use their prescribed dosage, start an addiction which
can lead to their lives getting ruined.

I think the same happens with social media. There are people who are more
prone to addiction than others. People close to me have claimed to have felt
much better after deleting/deactivating their social media accounts.

Personally it's been more than 10 years without Facebook, and I never had an
Instagram, so there's not much I can say about the topic from my own
experience.

~~~
monadgonad
> Many more, even though they use their prescribed dosage, start an addiction
> which can lead to their lives getting ruined.

I don't know if it's true that many more people prescribed opioids become
addicted than not, and spreading such information harms people who do need
them.

~~~
notafrog
You're absolutely right, it seems I've made a typo inadvertently. It's true
that less people become addicted than not.

------
sandov
I used to use Twitter. My country's political news and related commentary
usually got me into a mental state of frustration and misanthropy.

I deleted Twitter. Political news still frustrate me but I rarely see them
anymore. Ignorance is bliss. I've effectively created a safe space where
political idiocy can't cognitively harass me.

Is it wrong to be so uninformed? I don't know. I think a lot about it and I
haven't come to a satisfactory conclusion. By being uninformed I'm somewhat
unable to fight against the "wrong" opinions, but maybe if I was informed my
opinions wouldn't change a thing anyway.

My mental health is better off just accepting any idiotic laws my country
passes instead of trying to "protest" (in the most useless sense of the word:
tweeting about it) against them, for the most part.

~~~
FussyZeus
> Is it wrong to be so uninformed?

I wouldn't say it's wrong, but I would say it is an expression of privilege.
People who don't find their race, gender or identity regularly being touted as
either some up and coming new social fad or the boogeyman to a given group
that oppose them and the source of everything evil in the world or what have
you can pretty safely disconnect from the discourse with no real ramifications
to their lives.

So again, no I wouldn't say it's wrong, and hell, I have to disconnect
occasionally too simply to keep my sanity. But I also say that from a similar
position of privilege. I don't have lawmakers attempting to restrict my
rights, my gender and race aren't an oppressed group. But, exercising
privileges doesn't make you a bad person in my book so long as you're not
fighting to maintain those privileges at the expense of others.

~~~
Aloha
Disconnecting from people trying to push a so called 'culture war' on the
general populous seems like a rational choice - as a white male, social media
seems to tell me emphatically that I am _the_ problem. Similarly social media
pundits from the other side are trying to blame all measure of economic and
social ills on brown people/gay people/trans people.

Both narratives are patently false.

To touch very lightly on politics, we blame the poor for being poor, and the
marginalized for being marginalized - the so called 'culture war' (and the
outrage on both sides) is just another round of 'circuses and bread' to
distract us from real issues and prevent any real change from happening.

~~~
FussyZeus
Just as a minor correction: Nobody is telling you that _you specifically_ are
the problem. The problem is that as a white male, what is called "western
society" was built with you as the presumed default, and that confers to you
tons of small benefits that fall into one of two categories:

1) Unfair advantages that allow you certain freedoms other groups don't have,
that one could argue no one should have

2) Advantages that everyone should have, but due to being ethnic or female,
they don't.

The best example I usually have for this is that when I'm pulled over by a cop
for speeding, I'm annoyed to be sure and it's going to be a really bad
inconvenience and probably a fair financial burden too. But I don't fear for
my life. I'm not panicking on whether or not my vehicle will be searched or if
the officer might plant something on me. That's not to say those things can't
happen, but it's intrinsically _not on my mind at all_ , even though it could.
And those things happen to other groups all the time.

~~~
hyperdunc
If you're going to say that Western society was built with white males as the
presumed default, you might want to also mention who the builders were.

And as a broader point, it also might be worth considering how Western society
stacks up against all other societies to ever exist.

~~~
istjohn
Slave labor built this country.

~~~
hyperdunc
I don't see how such sweeping statements about the nature of a country are
useful.

Slave labor was only one component of practically all great countries/empires.
The West was the first to outlaw it.

The US in particular was built upon the hard-earned lessons of the past,
including the moral worth of individual liberty.

~~~
c0nducktr
How is the US _in particular_ built upon the hard-earned lessons of the past.
Because it is younger?

This just sounds like more American exceptionalism that most of the world is
tired of, and that includes many Americans.

~~~
hyperdunc
The counterpoint to your second sentence is that most of the world would
sacrifice much to migrate to the US.

~~~
c0nducktr
Fine: USA, #1 when compared to developing nations.

Got an answer to my first sentence?

~~~
hyperdunc
One example - the US Constitution draws from Ancient Greece and Rome, and is a
response to the oppression of European monarchies.

Louis XIV: "I am the state." US Constitution: "We the people...secure the
Blessings of Liberty"

That's no cosmetic difference.

~~~
ascorbic
Sure, that was a big deal in 1776. But there's nothing exceptional about being
a liberal democracy today, and there are plenty of countries that are more
free than the US.

------
muzani
When I quit I ended up reading books and watching TV for entertainment. I
literally read over a million words of fiction (Worm) in one month with the
spare time.

It was a lot more fulfilling, and I'll remember that time. While in contrast
there are few social media moments I'll miss.

I had to actually force myself to get back into social media. I'm not sure
what the author here means by withdrawal; there was maybe a period of 1 week
trying to get back in, but it was over quickly.

One big thing that happened was the number of consulting contracts went down
significantly and never recovered. I'm quite Facebook active and used to get
two interview offers a month. In fact last month I got a huge opportunity that
I would have gladly accepted if I wasn't committed to anything else.

I'd be happy if social media was just wiped out and we went back to
socializing on forums and IRC.

~~~
cm2012
The web serial Worm is amazing. The sequel, Ward, is really far along now and
is even better IMO. You can catch up on
[https://www.parahumans.net/](https://www.parahumans.net/)

The HN crowd would probably really like Worm in general. Basically a sci-fi
superhero story with realistic uses of powers and complex characters. The
protagonist has the powers of insect control and scalable multitasking.

~~~
nullc
I found the squeal hard to start because it was a struggle to remember how
worm left off-- the end of worm was a real whirlwind, and I read it around the
time it finished IIRC.

~~~
cm2012
Good plot summaries of Worm to catch you up (Spoilers for Worm!):

[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worm_(web_serial)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worm_\(web_serial\))

[https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/worm-chapter-
synopsi...](https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/worm-chapter-
synopsis.291627/)

You can skip the Glow Worm part of Ward if you want, it's bonus chapters for
people who like reading really deeply.

------
rdiddly
This write-up really ends up understating the benefits and "magical" things
that actually did happen, but I fully approve of the understated approach.
Hyping everything up is part of the problem. If something is beneficial, I
shouldn't need to sell you on it; I can just tell you about it, and you can
decide. (In fact it's almost an intrusion into your free will when I start
persuading you, and it betrays some vested interest on my part.) That's why
you don't brag about quitting social media. And why you quit social media in
the first place is a related example of the same thing: If I'm a worthwhile
and valid human being, I shouldn't need to sell you on me, and maintain this
continual online sales platform for the "me" product. You can discover it on
your own and maybe reach the conclusion that I'm awesome, or maybe not, but
either way it's fine. Zen, baby. (I think the meditation helped more than he
realizes LOL)

~~~
derefr
> If I'm a worthwhile and valid human being, I shouldn't need to sell you on
> me, and maintain this continual online sales platform for the "me" product.
> You can discover it on your own and maybe reach the conclusion that I'm
> awesome, or maybe not, but either way it's fine.

Presuming that you aren't the type of person who spends all their time out in
public giving talks or something, how are you expecting people to "discover"
you? By chasing links from your work? By just bumping into you in the grocery
store?

I'm pretty sure I'm a worthwhile human being, but, y'know, I'd like to have
friends, and I'd _especially_ like to have friends that share interests with
me, and are doing interesting things themselves. And I don't live in a place
where those type of people are. So it'd be great if those friends found
_me_... probably through the Internet. And how do I encourage that to happen?
Well...

(None of which is to say that there's any reason to _consume_ social media.
Only to publish to it. Though that creates a funny Nash equilibrium...)

~~~
rdiddly
Sure, I'm not saying it has no use case. If anything it sounds like you're
using it for one of the classic things computers are used for - essentially
creating data so others can run a query on it like any other CRUD app. The
part I like a whole lot less is basically the part that's been there ever
since we entered Eternal September!

------
euske
Frankly I'm a little bored at these "quit social media" articles. They look
sort of all the same to me. Quitting altogether is simple, because there's
only one way to do it; quitting altogether. Moderation, on the other hand, is
more interesting because there are a number of ways to moderate its use; not
just limiting time but also limiting use cases. I'd like to know more about
the latter.

~~~
toasterlovin
Sometimes quitting something entirely is necessary to finally see, in relief,
the place that it occupied in your life. After that balance is possible.

------
krumpet
"I feel by far less distracted. My attention span feels more robust than it
ever has."

I would consider this magical.

~~~
Invictus0
The author is playing the /r/mildlyinteresting card. /r/mildlyinteresting
succeeded where /r/interesting did not because it tempered the expectations of
visitors. People expecting a 10x productivity gain because they quit social
media will surely be disappointed.

~~~
WilliamEdward
10x? Sure, no.

But 1.1x? That's possible and still quite substantial.

------
charlesju
As a side note, a hobby/hack I've found recently has really helped me decrease
screen time.

I need to work a lot due to job circumstances, so I thought I could not afford
screen off time.

But one thing I picked up is writing in a notebook. I realized that a lot of
work, regardless of where you are on the totem, is planning ahead. Writing in
a notebook for both work and personal introspection is very therapeutic and
really helps me to focus and crystalize my thoughts. I've also bundled this
with my work out sessions to pre-plan what I want to pontificate about. The
general process has both helped decrease my screen time, increase my work
productivity, and help me sleep better because I know that my frayed thoughts
are on paper.

------
psyclobe
I've been off Facebook for about a year now as well... Lets see the effects
have been, a lot less options for dating, lost communication with a ton of
various car parts companies and tuners (I was into a lot of car hobbies for a
while), and overall I feel more alone then I did when I was on Facebook.

But this is an honest way to live, I used to just sit there and scroll through
other peoples lives peering through them as if I was somehow a part of
whatever they were doing. It was a fake reality.

~~~
jcpsimmons
Out of that loneliness comes the fuel to change how you handle your life.
Eventually you’ll want to avoid it by interacting with humans in real life,
which is normal and healthy.

------
0xCMP
Social media is about getting attention via free, easy to use, and highly
distributed platforms. It has _very little_ to do with being social or staying
in touch with friends and _everything_ with being a mini media business with
the goal of growing your following and influence enough to make money
(somehow). Social media is simply a free performance.

Unless you're building a personal brand or selling something the work required
to achieve growth it doesn't make sense for most people.

You're better off making group chats and using private iCloud Photos albums to
be _social_ than posting on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

~~~
simplecto
This.

I'm using social media to build a personal brand and raise my professional
profile. None of my personal life makes it into any of the channels I publish
to.

------
mlthoughts2018
I think this posts discussion of “why do we take photos” is really great and
deserves more consideration. I’ve not had any form of social media account for
over 8 years and something I notice is that I just take waaay fewer photos
than everyone else I know. A few on vacation or when I see something stupid I
can turn into a pun or a joke. Seriously maybe 3-5 photos per month.

I love living this way and consider it healthy and normal for a wide variety
of people in most modern life circumstances. I think the need to take dozens
of photos of vacation/meal/baby/lifestyle is seriously a universally bad
mental state for humans, and one that people will stubbornly try in vain to
argue is somehow acceptable or ok.

If sitting is the new smoking, then social media photo sharing is the new
vaping.

~~~
cortesoft
This is interesting, because I do not have social media but take a TON of
pictures and videos of my kids (4 years old and 4.months old).... I send some
to family via group texts, but most just sit on my phone/computer/cloud until
I look at them.

I take so many for a few reasons. One, I think they are crazy cute and want to
take pictures and videos when I see them doing cute things. Two, my 4 year old
loves looking at them... she wants to see videos of herself all the time, and
cracks up seeing herself as a baby.

Three, I don't do a baby book but want to be able to remember how they were at
these ages when they are older. It is already trippy/fun to look at pictures
and videos of my daughter at 4 months and compare them to her baby brother
now. It is fun to watch old videos and see the first bits and pieces of the
kid I love now.

99% of the pictures and videos haven't been looked at by anyone but me and my
daughter, but I am SO glad I have them.

~~~
Vomzor
What’s your backup strategy? I’m paranoid of losing my pictures. I have one
regular backup drive, one offsite backup drive I sync once a week and several
cloud backups.

~~~
cortesoft
I am also paranoid... I copy all the photos to my computer hard drive every
few days, and use backblaze to back up my hard drive. I also have a local
backup drive.

I also periodically upload archives of my photos and videos to Amazon glacier

------
vickypathi
I did it for a year too! deleted fb/insta/twitter accounts for a year.

a lot of good things happened. 1\. Never bothered about taking photos for
everyshit I did. 2\. A lot of white space and time I got, to be empty. Not
sure if I used them enough. But white space yes! 100% 3\. I never grazed
useless info off the feed.

in the middle of the year, i tried an experiment. created a twitter/fb
accounts and followed some of the useful accounts. browsed for 1 hour. and
then closed twitter/fb and tried to recollect all the info I gathered in this
1 hour. And trustme, it was huge. really huge.

X got married. Y had a job change. Z disappointment about something. A's
vacation. B's witty remark on C.

then i immedietly deleted my account, coz none of these were useful for me. I
was never interested in what other poeple's life about.

Another 6 months passed. I realized only thing I missed was the option for
events, and groups where u can post.

coz i play fifa on xbox one. to find teammates.. ofcourse the best place is on
fb. To sell something. Even to reach out to somebody for help at sometime, fb
is the best.

so finally after 1 year, I created twitter/fb accounts. and I never posted any
photos or my personal stuff.

Just add 30 friends in fb. the most important ones. u know.. and no more. but
i can unfollow some of them. ANd posted all info in groups, and got teammates
right away for Fifa.

and also, if I want to reach out someone, its just one step away.

Twitter, follow all useful ppl mostly tech/football/humor

and now i dont feel overwhelmed at all.

Everytime i open fb, i ll not get enough updates.

The key idea, how to be in it and not get overwhelmed. How to be in it an use
it the way u want it.

P.S Insta -> never felt like going back. absolutely boring and useless for me
personally.

~~~
doubleorseven
I have a question for you. When you recreated the account on facebook, did you
got your old timeline back? And if so, did they try to fill the missing year
with photos you were in that were uploaded to their servers or some other
information they picked on you while you were gone? (I closed my account 7
years ago and I'm curious to know what happens)

------
blahedo
Good read, but this part seemed interestingly backward from my own experience:
_" You know what else is exhausting? Pretending to care about people you don’t
give a shit about."_

I've definitely been in situations where I had to pretend to care about people
I don't give a shit about. They have been 100% in my face-to-face real life.
On FB I'm perfectly allowed to care only minimally about the people I want to
care minimally about, and unfriend or hide or block the people I actually
don't give a shit about, and pay attention to the people I want to keep up
with. At a party or an art opening or standing in line or whatever? It's
harder to escape other people.

(Which is fine, of course, and good for us to sometimes engage in that way;
it's just diametrically opposite from the author's pithy claim.)

------
bigiain
This bit hit me hard:

"You know what else is exhausting? Pretending to care about people you don’t
give a shit about. Maybe you’re just a better person than I am and you
genuinely and deeply care about everyone you are ‘friends’ with on Facebook. I
didn’t. "

~~~
woutr_be
This was one of the reasons that pushed my of Facebook, in the end, my
newsfeed was heavily filtered because I don't care that one my friends bought
a new phone, or checked in into a shopping mall. I'll probably miss some more
important life events, but I would argue that if they don't share that with me
in person, we weren't really friends in the first place.

------
bradlys
I might quit soon too. To be honest - seeing my peers buying homes (with, of
course, no discussion about how they made it happen), getting married,
traveling a lot, enjoying nice things, and having kids is kinda putting a sour
taste in my mouth. It's a very biased feed. It's basically an endless feed of
the highest points of everyone in your entire social circle. I do some of it
but I tend to balance it out with, "I don't think I'm ever gonna fucking make
it in this area."

Social media is a bit like the news but on the opposite side of the spectrum.
"Yes, yes, I get it. The world is ending." I care but I don't care to where I
need to have it shoved in my face where I'm going to do things to make the
world even worse. (What good is a world that survives if it is full of
anxiety?)

I'm not reading the general news generally anymore when I can and maybe I'll
transfer that to social media soon. (Today was a bad day - a peer of mine who
is younger than me just bought a place in SF; I'm struggling to make it in a
400sqft in-law unit) I notice I feel better and it's not like anything I
missed is of real substantial importance to my daily life. It's just filler. I
know my core political philosophy - so it's not like it'll affect my voting
decision much. Reminds me of the article someone posted in response to the 8
year old dying. Something about ignoring the bullshit in life because you
don't have time for it. You don't have time for bullshit and most of social
media and the news is full of bullshit. I think it could be really great but
most of the time... it's just bullshit. Here it is - life is short:
[http://www.paulgraham.com/vb.html](http://www.paulgraham.com/vb.html)

~~~
JMTQp8lwXL
Do you think your peers were able to purchase homes through means not
accessible to you? Not to speculate on your circumstances, but it's truly
something how many people I know making six figures that choose to rent these
days (in competitive, expensive housing markets). One possibility might be, we
become so accustomed to renting. I can't imagine developing my career further,
and then all of a sudden in 5 years, having to care for a lawn, home
maintenance, etc. on top of the demands of work.

I also wouldn't discount the number of people who might be house poor: banks
will give you loans for far more than a financially savvy person would suggest
taking (e.g, only borrow up to 2/3rd's of the maximum amount a bank will
give), to keep flexibility in your budget.

To tie this to social media: what we see isn't reality. You're "competing"
with their curated self versus your own. You may see the purchases, but
certainly not the debt coming with it. The people with the best-looking lives
on social media probably don't have the healthiest of finances, unless you're
following truly wealthy people.

~~~
bradlys
Banks will definitely loan out crazy stuff. But it's not very common, from my
knowledge, to buy a $1m+ home with less than 20-30% down. (You have to pay PMI
and a really high mortgage then anyway) To have a few hundred thousand dollars
lying around before you're 28 is pretty remarkable. Especially if you aren't
at FAANG.

The means they were able to do it through were likely rich family (no one here
of course will say their family is rich) and high paying job ($300k+/yr). Both
of which I am not in (for my position in my region). I'm at a startup.
Watching my peers, who are not in companies like mine, just skyrocket in
wealth is rather discouraging. It's even more harsh because it's usually a
couple who are sky rocketing and I'm just sitting here with a SO who will
never make anything substantial. Love them to bits but the lack of financial
contribution is practically suicide here.

I know everything isn't perfect. It's curated. But the point is that often
their highs are way higher than mine. I already know their lows are nothing
like mine because I know a lot of the people well enough to know that much.

Side note about home buying: a lot of statistics online about homes being
bought for x and what kind and where and all that. But there's very little
information on who is buying and what they're doing with the home!

I only recently discovered that all the homes being bought under $1m in the
Bay area aren't being owner inhabited. They're all being converted into
rentals and as investment property. It explains why East Palo Alto hasn't
gentrified.

~~~
blankcheque
I was able to amass ~$500k+ in liquid assets before 27 with a combination of
attending a top college, not having any college loans when I graduated (worked
hard all through college to make sure this was the case - parents are not
wealthy), working at a startup that grew significantly for several years
(significant equity upside), and investing everything I possibly could into
the stock market over the past few years (greatest bull run in the country's
history).

I also paid <$1500 a month for rent in SF for many years by living in
converted rooms or having room-mates to keep costs low (relative to market
rates). Many of my peers were paying >$2.5k-$3k to have their own spot. I was
keeping expenses low and aggressively investing the difference in companies
whose trajectories were all but inevitable in my opinion (+ some broad market
index funds which have also done extremely well).

The weird thing about money is that once you get the flywheel turning (not
easy), it compounds like magic given that you've made some good decisions.

My intent here isn't to boast. I figured you might appreciate a specific
example of circumstances leading to building a modest level of wealth as a
20-something software engineer.

Involved was a lot of hard work, luck, timing, right place (SF), right
company, good decisions, help from others, sacrifice, obsession, and a bunch
of other things but I'll spare you the boring details. You could boil it _all_
down to luck if you'd like - but that's a bit too cynical for my tastes.

~~~
bradlys
I appreciate it - I think I would like the boring details as those tend to be
the things that I find super important. Similar to the "the yada yada" episode
from Seinfeld.

My story isn't far different from you. It just lacks the happier parts. Just
want to show how similar we are and how much those happier parts matter. Which
some could perceive as luck. I attended a "top college" (by program at least).
I worked through college on top of having a full ride (government). After
college, I slept on an air mattress to save $$$ (don't do it) and then a 25
year old one because I got it for free. I chose the cheapest possible
everything forever. Drove my $4000 car into the ground until it was crashed
into. Never paid more than $50 for a piece of furniture. I spent maybe
$100/month on food. I lived very cheaply for 8+ years with minor splurges on
things. (I still live in a 400sqft in-law unit that used to be a workshop ffs
- I definitely don't live lavishly) But - in the end, I can't save enough
because my income isn't high enough. I gave up on penny pinching because I
realized it was futile for this area. No one is buying the <=$1m homes that I
could afford with years of penny pinching and saving _and_ then living in
them. (It's all investment property) Therefore, the neighborhoods never
gentrify and are crap. My SO says even if I buy one - she won't move into it
because we'll get stabbed, robbed, or, worse, have to live there without it
gentrifying. So, homes that are actually gentrifying or nice are closer to
$1.5m+. Therefore - I'd have to save about $700k+ in order to be able to
qualify for the mortgage (decade+ of penny pinching saving then). It doesn't
take a rocket scientist to realize that's a terrible move financially.
(Putting basically all of your money into a house - not a very diversified
portfolio...)

But ya know what - I see my peers who are living lavishly (buying brand new
Porsches - living in luxury 2-bedroom apartments by themselves - buying all
the new things - going on ski trips and whatever vacations)... It doesn't
affect them. They're still buying the damn house! It's cause they're at
$400-500-600k+ and not the <$200k I'm making.

Gotta join FAANG or some startup that's about to go public. The income
disparity is just massive.

------
TylerE
The thing I have found to be extremely helpful is to very carefully curate who
who I follow - in particular I don't friend/follow anyone I have any sort of
regular f2f interactions with - family, coworkers, neighbors. I use it
exclusively to keep up with out-of-state friends, others involved with the
same sort of niche hobbies, that sort of thing. Avoids sooo much drama.

~~~
xfitm3
Interesting approach. I have to wonder though, if such a thoughtful strategy
is needed to stay sane what else is unhealthy?

~~~
grawprog
I always thought the way the parent poster uses social media is the way it's
supposed to to be used. That's the only way I've ever used it.

~~~
xfitm3
I'm not so sure that's the real design. Any application I use tries to addict
me to it. I think it is more for people to show off.

------
birdfeeder210
Neat, I quit Facebook over 5 years ago and never looked back.

JOMO saved my mental health when I realized I'd never be invited to every get-
together. You learn who really cares about your once you dip out of the
world's easiest connectivity network... when people actually have to put in
just a bit more effort to get a hold of you.

Group SMS never gets old and I don't feel like big-brother is always watching,
when in reality, they very well could be but it feels far less invasive.

------
b3b0p
If this persons definition of social media is only Facebook and Instagram then
I removed social media for the last 3 or more years.

Removing these (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) were nothing and easy for me. I
just logged out and never bothered to log in. I haven't bothered with these in
years.

Now, not visiting places like Reddit, maybe Hacker News, and consider removing
other similar like internet communities for a year as well was a lot harder
and still is at times. So, I have delegated to limit myself for now and not
make an account. At least I try.

I found myself having trouble of finding something to read while I eat dinner
every night, so I try to only limit myself to reading and browsing Reddit
while I eat dinner each night for example.

However, my Hacker News addiction continues.

------
tylerl
I quit social media four years ago and all that happened is I got 3 hours per
day of my life back.

~~~
f00zz
Best reason to quit I've seen in this thread.

------
viksit
Isn’t hacker news social media? Karma points are no different from retweets or
likes surely? And then isn’t reading nyt’s comment section _social_ “media”
too? At what point is engaging with media that has some collaboration from
peers different from the big three social sites? Should there be a case made
for quitting these too?

~~~
pikzel
It's an unpopular opinion here, but you are absolutely right.

~~~
balfirevic
It's perplexing to me. I view HN as _obviously_ being a social media, and (for
me) the most time consuming one of them all.

Edit: Now that I think about it, HN is the only social media that I don't find
it delivers enough value compared to my time spent on it (it does deliver
value - it's just that it's a big time sink). I'm pretty happy with the
time/value ratio of Facebook and (more recently) Twitter. It's probably
because the ability to carefully curate what you see on FB and Twitter.

------
platz
None of the top comments respond to or discuss the actual content in the post
(e.g. "my ..."), and instead focus on their own anecdotal experiences, based
on the headline or social media in general.

this also is mirrors the lack of discussion and engagement often associated
with social media.

~~~
toasterlovin
Everyone's just waiting for an excuse to talk.

------
kelnos
I quit posting and checking Facebook roughly a year ago (I still have an
account for event invitations, but I've disabled all other notifications and
uninstalled the app). I still have an Instagram account, and page through the
feed once or twice a week (in the past, it was usually a few times a day), but
I haven't posted in about six months.

I'm less anxious and stressed out, and generally less annoyed at people around
me. My initial reason for avoiding FB was because I was tired of being
bombarded by rageful posts about politics and social justice issues
(regardless of whether or not I agreed with those posts) day in and day out.

On occasion, after asking a friend a specific question about their life,
they're surprised I don't know the answer already because they'd posted about
it on FB. I then have to explain that I haven't checked FB (aside from events)
in a year. No one has even come close to complaining about having to tell me
something separately; people generally enjoy talking about themselves,
especially when prompted, so that shouldn't be a surprise.

I still take a similar quantity of photos, even though I don't post them
anywhere anymore. I do share photos taken during a group activity/trip/outing,
but privately, through Google Photos, and only to the people who were there.

When I flip through Instagram, I'm definitely less engaged than I used to be.
I don't really comment anymore unless I have something substantive to say/ask,
and I usually don't bother to "like" anything.

I have several healthy in-person friend groups, and some remote ones. I hear
about what's going on with my friends in person, or via smaller group chats or
one-on-one texting. I certainly don't see all the other things my random FB
"friends" (at ~1100, of course the majority of them are acquaintances at most)
are posting about their lives, but I find I don't really miss it. While it
might be a novelty to see what some random old high school or college
classmate is doing day-to-day, I'd much rather turn that limited energy and
brain space toward my closer friends.

Regarding news, I get a daily politics newsletter in my email inbox, so I can
restrict that to a small chunk of time and only pursue things further if I
want to. For other types of news, I have to seek it out specifically, which
works well for me.

------
MisterTea
> I made a resolution in September of 2018 that I would quit social media
> indefinitely.

I had my phone die years back on my way to a social event after a combination
of a facebook app bug that sapped battery and leaving my charger in other
vehicle. I was so aggravated with the app that I deleted it. Never installed
it again. Think this was 2016/17? After a few weeks I also deleted my
instagram. Then again, I wasn't into the social media thing so I only had
those two accounts and didn't post much. Never had or saw a need for twitter
or whatsapp. Deleted instagram and facebook account was slimmed down to just a
few pictures and I keep in touch with some family through it. I maybe visit
facebook via web once or twice a month.

We've painted ourselves into a social anxiety corner as we removed the actual
social aspect and replaced it with a poorly designed html implementation. You
want to be social and have friends? Then call and hang out with people without
feeling the need to post about it or sit in front of someone scrolling and
endless sea of nothing.

------
beshrkayali
The title is kind of clickbaity, but the most important note in this write-up
is the following:

> I don’t see myself ever going back to social media. I don’t see the point of
> it, and after leaving for a while, and getting a good outside look, it seems
> like an abusive relationship – millions of workers generating data for tech-
> giants to crunch through and make money off of.

------
colshrapnel
You'd laugh at me, but I am still using a LiveJournal clone - Dreamwidth. This
pre-social network is quite comfortable to be in. It is, so-to say, non-
invasive. You'd never see a post from someone you didn't subscribe to. There
are no ads. No mental viruses to pick-up. Just what a social media is meant to
be for ordinary people to keep in touch with some friends. And of course there
is no mobile client to ring a dozen times a hour. I just read my friends list
when it is comfortable for me.

And I visit my facebook account weekly, via desktop browser, only to see
what's up with my friends hanging up there.

I very seldom do likes, as I know that my likes could show up in my friends'
feeds. There are NO notifications from social network or media on my phone. I
call it "information hygiene".

And yes, like others mentioned, I've got A LOT of spare time for books,
hobbies, movies etc.

------
toadi
\- Was very active on twitter. Haven't opened the app in a while. \- Linkedin
is just my CV don't use the social stuff on it.

Besides being a software engineer I have a custom motorcycle shop. We use
Instagram/Facebook and also my personal account gets more updates since I have
the shop. If I wouldn't have a business that uses these platforms as lead
generation I wouldn't' be using them either.

Between these two Instagram sucks. People just scroll through it and don't
interact that much. Mostly other Instagram channels re-use motorcycle builds
from the actual builders without attributing. They are more popular as it's
easy to follow them as they post builds daily and people need their fix.

Our facebook is growing fast and interactions grow on it too. As platform its
a bit better and people coming to our shop most of the times know us from
facebook.

~~~
mxuribe
> Besides being a software engineer I have a custom motorcycle shop.

Software engineer _AND_ owner of a custom motorcycle shop? Now _THAT_ is a
cool set of livelihoods!! As far as jobs go, you are my new hero!

------
elorant
My main beef with social media is that you can't have a decent conversation
with anyone. Partially because everyone builds a network of like minded people
and has little to no tolerance at all to opposite views, and partially due to
the real name policy, all conversations seem to derail quite easily. Then you
have sites like LinkedIn where everyone presents himself like they invented
the cure for cancer. People seem so fixated on being right and pompous to the
point that there's no real fun anymore in interaction. And if I can't discuss
with strangers I don't see any point of joining social media sites. For me
communities is all there is on sites like that.

------
criddell
> the sole reason I have taken photos is to share them via social media

That's quite a realization. I think it's true for a lot of people though and
it's part of why people experience the best times of their life through a 6"
display.

~~~
rolltiide
My experience is that rest of the world has moved on to group chats and
sharing a lot there

In the US my experience is that tail end millenials and gen Z are gravitating
to group chats too. Pretty much just millenials and older and the subset of
those with no international friends are the people stuck on the public
oversharing train. And some women that could pass in a forever 21 catalogue.

~~~
danfang
Yeah I totally see this trend too. I think there's a reasonable hybrid model
between private group chats and traditional social networking (i.e. photo
albums, events, payments, posts, etc).

In fact, I've been working on this idea for a while now and just launched on
HN a few hours ago!
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20933272](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20933272).
It's definitely a response to current trends of people leaving social media
due to negative effects on social and mental health. I saw this happening to
my friend groups first hand and knew something had to change.

------
jedimastert
I used to go on Facebook quite a lot, and then suddenly I just stopped. I
haven't deleted my profile (a lot easier to find people I've lost touch with
than trying to get a phone number or something) but for some reason it just
doesn't tempt me, and it's very surprising. I'm on Reddit & YouTube far too
much (and I would be here too much too if the front page weren't nearly so
slow in comparison). I really just don't understand.

------
tvanantwerp
The first time I quit social media, the strangest part of the experience was
figuring out what to do with my random observations. Maybe I'd have a clever
though, or see an interesting sight to photograph, and my old instinct was to
share immediately. Without social media, I had to relearn how to let go and
allow my thoughts fade into nothing. I'm glad I went through that--really
showed me how my brain was being rewired in ways I don't care for.

------
quake
A couple years ago I moved across Canada for work, and even after a couple
years I still haven't met a ton of people here that aren't coworkers. And none
of the people I met, I met over facebook. It was always through Meetup or
Reddit. So long ago I uninstalled Facebook from my phone, and I have a
localhost line to prevent my computer from going to the site. My phone has
facebook messenger on it, and that's as far as I go, since that's how I stay
in touch with most of my friends in BC. The messenger only option is
fantastic, and taken even further by turning off those stupid floating chat
bubbles. I can talk to them, but cannot see anything they post.

Do I feel like I missed anything about the people I care about? Yeah I kind of
do, but mostly it's FOMO from seeing all my friends continue to do backpacking
trips while I'm working in southern Ontario, so that's circumstantial. But on
the whole? I couldn't care less. I had to turn off the localhost rule to sell
some stuff on Marketplace, and I browsed my news feed for the first time in
over a year, and it was a nightmare hellscape of stuff I just couldn't care
less about. Better off with the filter.

------
castratikron
Main complaint with Facebook is how rigid the friendships are. There are
people I'm friends with on Facebook that I haven't spoken to in ten years. But
it feels weird to delete them. For some reason it feels natural to add
everyone you know, even if you've only ever spoken to them for a single
evening. To put it another way the edges of the Facebook friend graph don't
have weights where the IRL graph does.

------
nabla9
There is tendency to cynically comment "Yet another..." but I don't see how
repetition makes this any less relevant. Social media seems to have clearly
negative effect on most people. Herd animals have deep fear of being left out
and that keeps people using them. They create little or no value.

If you have to send mail or message to people you want to interact with, it's
more personal and works better.

~~~
moksly
What I find truly curious is how many people on HN (a social media) seem to
agree that social media is bad.

I know this is anecdotal, but HN is the cause of a lot more of the bad things
from social media in my life than Facebook is. Because I only use Facebook to
organise events, meaning I log on two or three times a month. On the flip side
I’ve just wasted five minutes of my life replying to you. I mean no offence by
that, but there is fair chance we won’t even talk here because you may not see
my reply (and I might not see yours if you do), and we’ll certainly never
speak to each other again.

I think this blog-entry is insightful and well written, but are we going to
remember it in two hours, or is it just another “baby picture” on the HN news
feed?

------
katzeilla
HN HoD? I got 503 Service Unavailable.

Archived version:
[https://web.archive.org/web/20190911012911/https://joshcsimm...](https://web.archive.org/web/20190911012911/https://joshcsimmons.com/2019/09/10/i-quit-
social-media-for-a-year-and-nothing-magical-happened/)

------
phjesusthatguy3
I got all my teenage bullshit out on detroit.freenet.org. Now I'm farming HN
points.

16 year old me is _so disappointed_ in 45 year old me.

------
Jaruzel
For those on Windows, and who want a quick way to purge their Facebook data, I
wrote a tool (that was favourably received on HN when I originally announced
it) :

[http://www.jaruzel.com/blog/how-i-erased-5000-facebook-
comme...](http://www.jaruzel.com/blog/how-i-erased-5000-facebook-comments-and-
likes)

------
mirceal
I guess it depends on what magical means, but the _Mental Health Benefits,
Enhanced Interpersonal Relationships and Presence_ the author lists after the
conclusion do seem magical to me.

Having time to stop, think and/or have a conversation with another human being
is a magical experience nowadays.

------
thecleaner
This is an unpopular opinion. But social media tends to exacerbate our own
insecurities. So maybe dealing with the underlying problem is much a healthier
way to solve social media addiction ? Also these dramatic measures like quit
all social media is simply telling yourself "oh look, I am going to do this
dramatic thing. I am taking action" without actually understanding that
there's a middle-ground where you regulate your use and continue to reap some
of the minimal benefits that social media has. Holding the middle-ground of
regulated use is much harder, but definitely worth trying.

------
whenchamenia
While it seems like nothing, the peace in my life is much greater with less
influence from the gamified social media emotion casino. I am closer to where
I feel like I need to be, whatever that may mean. Ymmv. Enjoy life.

------
ummonk
I’m not sure whether this is just post college life but I feel like social
media has really reduced the amount of direct interaction between people, both
via phone / computer, and in real life.

I don’t really care to passively consume what my friends are doing, or
broadcast to them what I’m doing; I want to interact with them.

Thus could be a millennial issue though - the next generation seems to use
Snapchat and iMessage for much more direct interaction.

------
artur_makly
I'm sure the 1000 days of meditation he experimented with, had a lot more
impact on his mind/body/soul than his Social fasting. But a blend of both for
most I think would be ideal. [https://joshcsimmons.com/2019/05/21/meditaton-
practice/](https://joshcsimmons.com/2019/05/21/meditaton-practice/)

------
anigbrowl
This is the best headline I've seen for a while. It was such a welcome
contrast to the usual sales pitch that I laughed hard for a good minute.

------
megous
> The only logical reason I could figure for why this is done, is to make you
> feel bad about having a lower number than other people, otherwise why would
> they bother broadcasting this number, proudly at the top of your profile
> page, to other users?

The reason probably is so that people connect more and see more stuff from
other people, and stay active on the network.

partialrecall: Of course it's motivated by profit.

~~~
partialrecall
Is that motivated by a desire to help the user, or does the social network
have a more selfish motivation for driving user engagement? I think it's more
the later than the former, though I expect the social network to pretend it's
the former.

------
ImaCake
For those worried they will become uninformed by disconnecting from news and
social media. I highly recommend reading/listening to long-form history works.
You can gain a lot of perspective and understanding from learning about what
has happened in the past and you might be surprised by how useful such
information is for being informed about what is happening at the moment.

------
nautilus12
Writing yet another I quit social media and now my life is better but
dishonestly saying in the title that nothing happened is clickbaitey

~~~
sachdevap
Right away in the first paragraph too. So much hypocrisy. Right alongside "I
hate clickbait, and here are 10 reasons you should too."

------
meerita
I've been 2 years without Facebook, Instagram and others. I've kept my Twitter
account, but I barely use it. When i quit Facebook and Instagram I noticed
relief. Instant relief and huge amount of batery life. I also found out who
were my true friends, they write me to my whatsapp or telegram or write
emails. The rest where like fake friends.

------
torgian
I didn't sign up for Facebook until 2007 I think. It was only to keep in touch
with friends from the military.

Since then I've made friends with people that I know, but no one beyond that.
So I don't fall into the trap that a lot of other people seem to fall into
(including the author).

That said, I think social media is something all of us can use a lot less of.

------
pikzel
I mainly use social media when waiting for the bus, on the metro, etc. It's
nice to get some updates, but I very rarely share anything so I never fish for
likes or compare myself to others. But I'm so happy that I grew up in the
80s-90s, I can't imagine how stressful it would be to have social media as a
12-15 year old...

------
neon_me
Interesting, I have noticed ("excuse based") defensive mechanism when it comes
to this topic ...

most people I have witnessed start to use very poor arguments of why they want
to stay on social networks ... very similar to people with "un-noticed"
alcohol problem.

But yes, nothing magical happend without it. Just maybe realization how stupid
it is.

~~~
godelski
Nothing magical happening is what's supposed to happen. I've seen lower stress
levels simply because I'm not as connected to the news and political cycle.
But that's also because I only check once a week. It's the new normal, which
isn't magical, because it was also the old normal.

~~~
cuddlybacon
> I've seen lower stress levels simply because I'm not as connected to the
> news and political cycle.

Wouldn't that qualify as something magical happening?

~~~
godelski
I'd more define it as a return to normality. It sure doesn't feel magical.
There's still stress in my life, just not dumb stuff like having to listen to
my cousin go on anti vax rants.

------
dudzik
I stayed away from most social media sites and use mostly chat/email to stay
in contact with friends. So I can relate to the point of having fewer and
better relationships, but I found that you have to be more active for that to
work. If you don't feel comfortable reaching out to people you will get lonely
as well.

------
andreyk
"“Why do I take photos?”"

This is a good question, and imo an underrated answer is to use them for
digital journaling. I use an app called Journey which lets you make entries
and attach photos to them, and this justifies taking photos to sort of help
spur memories of fun events and such.

------
allthecybers
I ditched Facebook long ago, Twitter has waaayyy to much politics and I’m
leaning toward closing down LinkedIn because it has gotten bad lately with too
much news and ads... it’d already be closed if I hadn’t gotten my last three
or four jobs from it.

------
Charlie_26
Unfollowed everyone on Facebook and now just use it as a rolodex. No more
pointless scrolling through the news feed. Have done this for 2, maybe 3
years. There are browser extensions you can get that unfollow everyone.

------
edisonjoao
[https://apps.apple.com/us/app/foxie/id1369279200](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/foxie/id1369279200)
check this one out

------
bori5
I'm 47 and thinking of starting up! Nothing magical has happened either.

------
evilksandr
Great experience, but I just can’t say goodbye to facebook, it just
magnetically drags me in. I understand all the mechanisms for displaying
relevant posts and ads, but I can not resist viewing them.

------
newshorts
Quite Facebook back in the early days once I realized it was making me hate my
own life.

Haven’t looked back and I’d like to think I’ve spent that time doing something
better.

In reality I probably just filled that time with Netflix...

------
jugg1es
The article said he decided to quit THIS MONTH! Does that really justify an
article on Sept 10th?

Edit: it seems like that was a typo in the article if he says he was off for a
whole year. Pretty big typo, though.

------
gran_colombia
I hate people. Getting rid of social media was amazing. No more people!

------
trumbitta2
I don't know. I thought about quitting social media a lot, but I still think
being a member of developer communities is something I want and need for my
job and passion.

------
jergason
I wrote about this a few years ago too!
[https://link.medium.com/UUBEJ4ZOSZ](https://link.medium.com/UUBEJ4ZOSZ)

------
jcpsimmons
Hi all, thanks for reading. It’s late here but excited to read comments
tomorrow. Please be patient with the site, it’s getting the HN hug and keeps
going offline.

------
test1235
>I don’t think I have a lot of friends but it doesn’t bug me at all. I
actively maintain (and I mean actively) about 10 friendships not including
family

I have like 1, or 2.

------
Yuval_Halevi
I wish I could do the same, to be honest.

In my job, I'm required every day to consume a lot of information from many
different platforms.

It turned me into Content Junkey

------
werber
I really like ello, I have no friends but still get a few random likes and
views on the bs I see that feels artsy

------
ropiwqefjnpoa
Nothing magical, but he seems pretty pleased with the results. He's not
returning to social media.

------
Hnrobert42
He made the resolution this month? Poring, not pouring. Clued in to?

And that was just in the first few paragraphs.

------
redleggedfrog
_sigh_ Too bad this is now the special case. While I agree this is me just
having a get off my lawn moment, I liked it better when you just talked to
your friends on the phone. With lands lines, and all their beautiful fidelity.

But, can't be a Luddite. It's here to stay, like smoking, and I tolerate it as
such.

~~~
gasgiant
I hear ya. By my rough calculation, I lived for about 33 years without social
media. It was nice.

------
bashwizard
+5 years here and still not missing anything about social media whatsoever.

------
Gaussian
One magical thing happened: your site broke. Good problems, etc.

------
cryptozeus
Op looks like your server quit in you too. Getting 503 error.

------
novaleaf
biggest reason to quit: time. all those 30 second to 5 min checks add up
through the days/months/years.

------
peter303
Sounds like a poor millennial affliction.

------
mythrwy
I quit social media and posted about it on social media and got a whole bunch
of likes and retweets.

------
droptablemain
Can't read because the site got HN'ed but upvoted anyway. _shrugs_

------
rconti
> I made a resolution in September of 2019 that I would quit social media
> indefinitely.

good start.

~~~
ma2rten
I am pretty sure that's a typo and they mean 2018.

------
diminoten
I quit Facebook for a few years, it didn't do anything to my life one way or
another, except maybe put me in a group of people others had to reach out "out
of band" to invite to things, which practically meant I had to hear about
events second hand or not go to things.

The emotional vitriol inspired by social media is completely unfounded. You
can make it whatever experience you want; people just like to complain.

This article should be titled, "I don't know how to use social media so I gave
up on it."

~~~
kjar
Yes! I’ve never used FB, and refuse to, as a result I miss all sorts of
notification of things occurring because everyone seems to assume everyone
does use it. Drives me nuts!

~~~
godelski
I keep hearing this, but all my friends just text me. I'm under 30 too. Maybe
it's just that I have a small friend group. Though even my grad department
informs me of events. We're all fairly close though, so maybe that makes a
difference.

------
not_a_cop75
Am I wrong for stating that a social mediate is basically trying to say
nothing happened to get more "atta-boys" from the social media empire at
large?

I mean what you focus on is what has power. Social media doesn't deserve the
power or respect that academia has, nor will it ever.Enforce social media to
be purely academic and I might feel differently.

------
dymk
Why was the title changed to remove the “and nothing magical happened” part,
@mods?

------
rolltiide
> the people that were going to come, were going to come anyways.

This is the same for you aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews

You’ll keep in touch with the ones you actually care about and vice versa

------
HNLurker2
Can't read the article Simmons. What the fuck dude?

~~~
dang
Could you please stop posting unsubstantive comments to Hacker News? You've
been doing it repeatedly, and we ban accounts that post like that.

[https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html](https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html)

