
The ABC's of Guiding the Child (1967) [pdf] - jyriand
http://centervideo.forest.usf.edu/qpi/goalsofpar/handout04.pdf
======
munk-a
I appreciate the era of instructions where you could call a document "The
ABC's of X" without then feeling obligated to actually run through the
alphabet in order and crowbar different sentiments in - speaking of which,
backcronyms need to go away forever now.

~~~
knolax
Was there a cut-off year after which all "ABCs of X" guides were obligated to
actually run through the alphabet? When did such legislation pass?

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sdegutis
On a related note, here's a mobile-formatted PDF called "How a Saint corrected
children"

[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wEdBKMA2VZtz0BzOsZEOGc5X7HJ...](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wEdBKMA2VZtz0BzOsZEOGc5X7HJaVP0w/view?usp=sharing)

And similarly, the "Salesian Preventive System":

[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LsfGlh0MiOMOLoYco9IAlxjqWgW...](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LsfGlh0MiOMOLoYco9IAlxjqWgWa3N33/view?usp=sharing)

(Taken from [http://salesianfamily.org/pedagogy/preventive-
system](http://salesianfamily.org/pedagogy/preventive-system) and formatted
via LaTeX.)

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UncleChis
Natural consequences: What if the child doesn't care about consequence, or
what if he/she likes the consequence? In the example of being late for school,
the child could consider it as a reward, that he/she doesn't have to go to
school anymore.

~~~
sesteel
Few parents are equipped to raise sociopaths and nearly all people respond to
self-preservation. I would hope a child would be able to empathize if
communicated with in way they could easily understand. 'Love and Logic' is a
parenting technique where the use of natural consequences are used heavily;
when kids understand you are their teacher, failure becomes an opportunity to
learn. If you are simply there as an enforcer, you are viewed as a warden.
They focus on not getting caught rather than gaining wisdom.

~~~
asdfasgasdgasdg
> I would hope a child would be able to empathize if communicated with in way
> they could easily understand

As the parent of a four year old, I hate to break it to you, but this is not
commonly true. It is not true for us, and it is not true for any of our
friends who have kids this age. The child has their own order in which things
are prioritized, and they _do not care_ if that is different from your order.
Unless you're willing to let your entire life be dictated by what your child
wants to do from moment to moment, it's not going to work to just talk to them
about why what they're doing is wrong or unacceptable.

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el_dev_hell
This is basically a listicle from 1967. You could publish this on Buzzfeed by
making the title "21 Ways to Raise AWESOME Children (Number 12 Will Shock
You!)" and adding emojis.

~~~
gowld
Yes listicles are lists with added flair, and this is a list.

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spicymaki
Seems like good advice for adults as well.

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projektfu
This appears to be the related talk:
[http://centervideo.forest.usf.edu/qpi/goalsofpar/goalsofpar....](http://centervideo.forest.usf.edu/qpi/goalsofpar/goalsofpar.html)

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lgats
Mobile Friendly View:
[http://pdf.cab/centervideo.forest.usf.edu/qpi/goalsofpar/han...](http://pdf.cab/centervideo.forest.usf.edu/qpi/goalsofpar/handout04.pdf)

~~~
jyriand
I only see a white page.

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asdfasgasdgasdg
There's some good advice here, but I don't know how evidence-based it all is.
For example, I understand that there is some evidence that extrinsic rewards
have problems when delivered in certain ways, but I don't think we've entirely
overturned behaviorism. Rewards and punishments are a tool that the world uses
on us, like it or not. It would be surprising if there were no place for that
tool in child-rearing.

Likewise, I question the advice to not involve oneself in children's fights.
If one child is much bigger than the other, they can impose their will on the
smaller child. Growing up, I saw friends who were on the losing side of this
exchange, and it can be scarring.

Still more of the advice is well meant but impractical. "Never do for the
child what they can do for themselves." Suppose I have a flight to catch, and
my son refuses to put on his own shoes. Am I to miss the flight then? My son
can be stubborn. On one occasion I tried to follow this advice when he refused
to walk himself home. We stood on the sidewalk for half an hour in twenty
degree weather before I gave up and compelled him to walk home.

I suspect, like much parenting advice, this stuff works for some kids and
doesn't work for others. So much of parenting advice is survivorship bias.
That a particular technique works for one child does not imply it works for
all children. I can buy that these points are effective for most children, but
ultimately you have to do what it takes to survive, and part of that is
tailoring this stuff to your unique relationship with your own child.

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jolfdb
"Middlebrow dismissals" like this are discouraged on HN.

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SanderSantema
I was interested what the exact meaning of a “Middlebrow dismissal” is (non-
native speaker). But I could only find the following in the HN guidelines
which doesn’t seem to mention middlebrow dismissals nor does it seem to be
applicable to the toplevel comment:

“Please don't post shallow dismissals, especially of other people's work. A
good critical comment teaches us something”

What exactly is a “middlebrow dismissal” and why would the toplevel comment be
that?

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warent
I'm a native English speaker and can take a stab here. Lowbrow typically means
unsophisticated (as in, like a neanderthal or ape) whereas highbrow means
sophisticated. I'm assuming middlebrow means, well, something in the middle.

All of that being said, the "middlebrow dismissal" observation/criticism makes
zero sense to me here.

