
Ask HN: How do you combine social life and programming? - zulva
I didn&#x27;t continue my journey to actually become a developer, because of the image i had of a programmers life.<p>The view i had and somewhat still have of a programmers life would look a lot like:<p>- No spare time to go outside and have fun, as we seem to be addictive and time flies by.<p>- which results into less friends<p>- Just no time to be actually happy or just not having the consciousness of time as it just passes by while sitting behind a desk<p>The list goes on and on...<p>However i now have mixed feelings... as i want to spend my time actually learning languages, but i also want to be socially 
active and just be happy.<p>How do you guys combine these two?
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cocktailpeanuts
The idea that having a lot of friends means happiness is one of the most
widely believed myth that's totally false.

It is __You __who decide what happiness is. If that means getting addicted to
the feeling of achievement you get when you create something and watch others
use it, and have an impact in the world in even a small way, then that 's your
happiness. If it means hanging out with friends every day, well then maybe
that's your happiness now. If it means traveling around the world, then that's
your happiness.

Want to learn new language? Do it! Want to be socially active? Do it! But
don't just do it because that's what the society makes you believe is the
"cool" thing to do.

But first, just ask yourself if you want to do these things because you REALLY
want to do them and do them if the answer is yes. One way to figure that out
is ask yourself the "Why" question multiple times. For example if you think
your happiness will come from hanging out with many friends, ask yourself
"Why?", and try to come up with several reasons. Then for each reason ask
another round of "Why?" and so forth. A lot of times you will be met with a
dead end where it's not yourself telling you that's what you want to do but
the society and capitalism telling you.

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dudul
Why do you think a programmer would have fewer friends than a plumber, less
spare time to go outside than a lawyer and be less able to enjoy nature than a
salesman?

What makes you thing that a programmer's life is that miserable?

~~~
zulva
Because we seem to be addictive to what we do in some way. it seems we will
always have to keep learning to keep track with the rest of us.

And just like gaming, time passes by quick behind the computer.

~~~
dudul
Accountants have to keep learning, doctors have to keep learning, lawyers have
to keep learning, lawn mower repair technicians have to keep learning.

I'm sorry, but it's not because the stereotypical programmer leaves and
breathes code and software that the average programmer is actually like that.
Believe it or no, a lot of programmers have a family, kids, friends, etc. They
even take vacation I've heard. And, that may be a myth, but there are reports
of programmers have passions and hobbies other than coding.

