
Robert Scoble: “I apologize.” - minimaxir
https://www.facebook.com/RobertScoble/posts/10155785962004655
======
danso
FWIW, Quinn Norton's post that seemed to set off yesterday/today's spate of
accusations happened sometime in the early 2010s. Scoble had announced in 2015
that he was going sober. However, at least one of the accusers has said that
Scoble propositioned her (repeatedly) after 2015:

[https://techcrunch.com/2017/10/20/robert-scoble-has-
allegedl...](https://techcrunch.com/2017/10/20/robert-scoble-has-allegedly-
continued-to-sexually-harass-women-after-going-sober/)

~~~
oxryly1
Hence public announcements and public apologies are too be taken with (at
least one) large grain of salt. It's up to his victims to forgive him -- not
us.

~~~
baudehlo
Wait, what? Why does he need to be forgiven?

~~~
js2
You don't forgive someone who has wronged you for them; you forgive them for
you. It is part of healing.

------
SolaceQuantum
I think for the audience I would want much less an apology and more an
explanation: what was he thinking and how did he view women when he sexually
harassed them and how has his mindset changed in how he views women that will
cause him not to do it anymore?

It’s not for me to forgive him, but I can’t see an apology without an
explanation as for how his mindset has changed and a full admission of not
only his actions but the mindset that has caused these actions to occur.
Otherwise he is being cheap and saying that just because he’s sober now his
actions will drastically change without any evidence there’s any motivation to
that change other than “oh shit got caught”.

------
Slaul
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Scoble#Controversies](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Scoble#Controversies)

for those like myself who didn't know what this was about.

------
cisea
It's really upsetting to see men just need to say 'i see what I did was
bad,I'm sorry, I'll try to fix it and be better'. But the victims, in this
case are highly educated women, have to live with this painful experience the
rest of their life.

~~~
solipsism
I'm curious what the "highly educated" part has to do with anything. Would
anything be different if they weren't?

------
justboxing
Can't seem to find any details on the extent of his mis-behaviour. Wikipedia
page says "sexually assaulted", and that "Sarah Seitz, a sustainability
analyst at NASA, replied accusing Scoble of also having assaulted her"

Isn't sexual assault a serious crime? Why didn't these women report it to the
Police. Or does touching without consent or grabbing someone or trying to
grope someone (like our current President is alleged to have done to many
women) also constitute sexual assault, but is generally not reported by the
female victims for fear of getting ostracized or receive backlash from friends
and co-workers?

[Not trolling serious question. The difference I see between Dave McClure and
Robert Scoble is that the former was accused of 'sexual harrassment' whereas
Robert Scoble appears to have been accused of 'sexual ASSAULT' by a couple of
women atleast ]

~~~
olliej
Have you ever looked at the accounts of women who /have/ reported it? If it
actually goes to trial basically the defense finds every single thing you ever
did and tries to portray you as a slut who was asking for it. If the person is
famous people will say you’re lying and trying to get rich out of a
settlement. You’re required to repeatedly go over every step of the assault
whether it was harassment or rape. They ask if you orgasmed (because that
means you wanted it), that your jeans were too tight for a rapist to remove
them, you were partially responsible because you passed out (so it wasn’t
rape), ...

Then even if they do get found guilty they punishment may be insignificant
(think Stanford rapist)

And then there’s how you get penalized, irrespective of whether the person was
found guilty * if you’re on social media you get harassed by the bigots on
_chan, Reddit, etc_ your name on google ends up publicizing the assault * if
the person you’re accusing has power/influence you lose your career (which is
why so many victims in film didn’t say anything about asshole guy). Tech has a
similar problem - look at what happens to women who call out anything at tech
conferences.

The result of saying anything is typically catastrophic to the victim and
frequently has little impact on the abuser.

If you ever actually pay attention you can find out about the people women
tell each other to avoid at cons or parties because they are known predators.
Because doing it that way is less harmful or and damaging to your own life
than going public.

~~~
pfg
The Stanford case is a really good (and chilling) example of what victims of
these crimes can go through. This is the letter the victim read to the rapist
at his sentencing[1].

[1]: [https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-
let...](https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-
stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra?utm_term=.rilpybMqM#.wvRXo3B8B)

~~~
justboxing
Yes, totally chilling.

------
lsh123
I am not going to any event, conference, etc. where Scoble is present. I think
he is a pathological liar and I am surprised that he is still considered a
public figure worth inviting to speak.

------
oculusforever
He's not even a little sorry. He's apologized like 5 times for this stuff:

[https://techcrunch.com/2017/10/20/robert-scoble-has-
allegedl...](https://techcrunch.com/2017/10/20/robert-scoble-has-allegedly-
continued-to-sexually-harass-women-after-going-sober/)

~~~
dfabulich
A real apology requires a clear statement of what you did wrong, why it was
wrong, and what exactly you'll do better in the future.

This apology doesn't even say what he did wrong. (He "damaged trust," "caused
pain," "behaved in ways that were inappropriate.") He didn't admit that he
sexually harassed anyone, say nothing of sexual assault.

Without a clear admission of what he did, I have no idea if he knows why it
was wrong. He's done this many times! Does he think sexual assault is a bad
thing _only_ because it would "damage trust" in him, because it tarnishes his
reputation?

~~~
KGIII
On the list of public apologies, I give him a B+. he could have done better
and he is not going to make everyone happy with his effort. It looks written
by him. It looks sincere. It looks honest.

Yeah, a good apology should be several pages long but this was pretty good and
well above some of the others we've seen.

'I am sorry that you felt abused and that your friends encouraged you to
humiliate yourself in public...'

So, yeah, it's pretty good compared to some of them.

~~~
tptacek
You're giving him a B+ for an apology that doesn't even state what he did?

~~~
KGIII
Yes, because I'm comparing it with the apologies we usually see.

~~~
tptacek
That's a hell of a curve he gets to take advantage of, but also, even Harvey
Weinstein did better than this.

~~~
KGIII
I did t read his, so have graded it yet.

~~~
foo101
Sorry to say this but people like you who do not understand the gravity of the
crime or the appropriate way to address it are part of the problem.

It is ironical that the same kind of people think they are in any position to
grade an apology relevant to this matter.

------
atomical
Since he wants to be part of the solution I will give some ideas:

* Always have a chaperone (for meetings, business activities, work social events, etc) when women are present.

* Do not attend social functions unless your wife will be attending with you.

* Attend weekly cognitive behavioral therapy sessions.

------
praneshp
The tweet linked in the article about letting this "play out" paints him
worse, if that was possible.
[https://twitter.com/gtlpearson/status/921480719381254144](https://twitter.com/gtlpearson/status/921480719381254144)

~~~
aaron-lebo
Why was Redesk CEO Guy Pearson looking to hire someone for a speaking
engagement the day after they were accused of sexual assault?

I stole that from Twitter, but it's not a good look. Did he just not really
care or did he figure that he could act duplicitous and insert himself into a
situation that has nothing to do with him? Who benefits from that?

Would rather not make this comment at all because there's an actual issue
worth talking about here, but let's not applaud toxic behavior.

~~~
oculusforever
you don't know what the timestamps are, he probably asked him the previous day
or even a week ago.

~~~
Cyph0n
He says in a follow up tweet that it was today...

------
koolba
Context? I have no idea who this is or for what he is apologizing.

~~~
camus2
Some context on HN :

[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15511285](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15511285)

~~~
minimaxir
Additionally, the Facebook apology was immediately posted after new
accusations on TechCrunch: [https://techcrunch.com/2017/10/20/robert-scoble-
has-allegedl...](https://techcrunch.com/2017/10/20/robert-scoble-has-
allegedly-continued-to-sexually-harass-women-after-going-sober/)

~~~
on_and_off
Aren't those 2 separate problems anyway ?

Many people are drunk or even alcoholic without assaulting others.

~~~
olliej
Right? Always bothered me “but they were drunk, it’s not their fault”

That’s cool. I’ve been drunk before and haven’t ever raped anyone.

~~~
dragonwriter
> Always bothered me “but they were drunk, it’s not their fault”

While that argument may be made by some people somewhere, I don't think either
Scoble or anyone else has made it in this case; it seems more like his
position is that he was at fault, his alcohol problem was a contributing
factor which he had to correct as part of taking responsibility.

------
Mz
Well, it is sort of weak. But:

A) How many actually good examples do we have to draw upon? Most such things
are pretty blatant attempts at saving face. This at least has some sincerity
to it.

B) He isn't justifying, excusing or denying. He did quit drinking already,
which is perhaps the most important thing he could do to prove he is taking it
seriously that he needs to stop hurting other people. He is fairly realistic
that being better in the future is the primary thing he can do. He also
acknowledges that it doesn't undo his past actions or somehow make things okay
for people he hurt.

Amends are really hard to do. They also don't always come in a form readily
recognizable as directly related to the bad act.

Also, he kept it short and didn't make it about him and his big feels or sob
story. It is reasonably gracious in that regard.

~~~
discoursism
> Amends are really hard to do.

I'd just once love to see one of these abusers make some kind of serious
penance. I mean something that costs more than a few words written on a page.
Donating x% of their wealth to organizations of the victim's choosing (where x
is a fraction large enough to be uncomfortable), entering some kind of
monastic or hermetic lifestyle for more than a day or two, committing to X
hours of anonymous volunteer labor, resigning their positions of authority and
power, retreating from public life.

Occasionally something like this is forced on the perpetrator, but I've yet to
see any of them take it upon themselves to take this step. Personally I think
an apology is worth about as much as the effort put into it, and this is low
effort.

Still, you're right that it's better than most.

~~~
Mz
Amends and penance are not the same thing. Amends are about reparations for
the victim. Penance is about suffering for the perpetrator. These things are
mostly not related.

~~~
discoursism
I was talking about penance, and I also used the word penance, so we're good,
right? The quoted section is what made me think about this aspect of the
issue.

~~~
Mz
You are entitled to your views. But, I don't want my remarks about amends
conflated with penance.

I replied at all because of this line:

 _I 'd just once love to see one of these abusers make some kind of serious
penance._

I considered replying at length and decided against it. My initial impulse was
to feel like I can give you the thing you are asking for. But, then I
realized, no, I can't.

The individual that raped me made amends. But, he did not do penance. I
eventually forgave him, in part because he made amends.

I never got the apology I spent years wanting, nor any confession of guilt. I
eventually concluded it wasn't important.

I don't imagine you actually want to hear that. So, I decided to not write
about it.

What you want is for these people to suffer. In a sense, you want some kind of
revenge. I generally do not. I would much rather see reparations made to those
who were harmed.

Ghandi said "An eye for an eye will leave us all blind."

I don't think you build peacefulness and positive environments by going on the
warpath. Peace is not merely the absence of something negative. Peacefulness
or a peaceful environment is an actively positive experience that can be
remarkably hard to try to describe effectively.

It is probably a mistake to reply here. It feels equally problematic to not
reply. I will likely not engage further.

------
oxryly1
Why is he apologizing to us? Seems very self-serving.

------
AIXDrone
Something is very wrong with our industry when a self-aggrandizing mouth-
breather like Scoble enjoys more fame and influence than someone like D.
Richard Hipp. Worse still that because they're both "in tech," the former's
atrocious conduct will, by broad brush strokes, reflect negatively on the
latter, as well as everyone else "in tech."

------
sidcool
He's just sorry he was caught and not that he did it. Else he would have
apologized earlier.

------
sidcool
This makes me feel that no matter how reasonable ppl seem, once in power there
is always a high probability of abuse of that power.

~~~
AlexCoventry
Does Scoble seem reasonable to you? I think I'd stopped paying attention to
him by the turn of the century, certainly by the early naughties.

------
chris_wot
How can it be an apology if he doesn’t say what he did? This almost looks like
he has been blaming alcohol.

------
sidcool
Are there any legal grounds for criminal prosecution here?

~~~
mercer
That's been my number one question for a while now also in regards to other
cases and other 'apologies'.

Would it makes sense for the perpetrator to go to the police and admit guilt?
Would there still be consequences in that case? And if so, is that part of the
reason why these apologies always seem to be very vague about details?

And if all that, should we expect anything less from an 'apology'?

~~~
sidcool
Exactly, what's an apology without punishment? There have to be repurcussions
of illegal behavior. Else I would just say sorry after murdering someone and
get sympathy.

Remember, he's not sorry he did it, he's sorry he got caught.

------
nikofeyn
i didn't even know who this guy was and still kind of don't. what makes these
tech bloggers such a thing?

------
eradicatethots
Is there anything better than this kind of drama? Obviously I feel sorry for
those hurt, and this sort of behavior is awful, but as an onlooker I live for
these days. Nothing more entertaining than all the drama in the wake of
something like this. Hope no one takes this as an endorsement of the behavior
or support of being a bad person. Maybe you can look at this comment as
directed at other people like me, with less involvement in this world, and
maybe that will make it easy for you to ignore if you’re involved in this
drama! Sorry for the monologue I just don’t like getting downvoted

------
ironchef253
Imagine the 30+ year backlog of material across all the rich and powerful men
in Silicon Valley. What is going to be left once all of that is outed?

~~~
tptacek
No, I'm pretty sure I can say that I never sexually assaulted a woman when
drunk (or, of course, sober) 7, 10, 15, 20, or 40 years ago. So, I think, can
most of us.

