
Reverse Culture Shock - jscholes
https://www.state.gov/m/fsi/tc/c56075.htm
======
nickbauman
A German-born American with 11 years total living in Germany. Almost all of it
with the iron curtain in place. A white guy, I now live in a neighborhood
that's 3/4 black, 10% Hmong for 16 years, I feel very normal being permanently
out-of-place. In Germany I am the "Amerikanischer". Here it's "he's German".

But I'm permanently alone in a crowd, too. Always on the outside looking in.
Suspicious of the herd. Skeptical of consensus. Circumspect. Cantankerous at
times. I am, simply, permanently, "the other".

It's all not bad. You notice things other people don't wherever you go. You're
the first person to seek out the people who don't fit in and hold out your
hand in friendship. Because you know, deep down, that with all the
divisiveness we're experiencing right now, that we will never get through it
any stronger without the greatest concern for _each other._

~~~
e40
Hi. I feel the same way. When I was a kid, once a week my family would drive
to the other side of town (the 99.99% black side) to visit my grandparents and
uncle (they were the .01% white folk). I would spend all day Sunday hanging
out in this area of town full of dirt poor people (just like my family there).
I've never felt at ease and at home as I felt there. The people were
friendlier than I could imagine. There were very, very few black people on my
side of town, and it seemed weird and wrong.

When I was in my 20's at college, I would sometimes find the bad part of town
and just ride around on my motorcycle. I'd do this when I was lonely and
needing that "belonging" feeling.

So, from that early age on the other side of town, I've embraced otherness,
and I wouldn't have it any other way.

~~~
ianai
Were you ever 'eyed down'? I got that recently at my childhood home.

~~~
e40
I'm unfamiliar with that phrase, but I'll say:

I went back in the 80's to see my uncle, after my grandparents died. The house
was falling down around him, but the rest of the neighborhood was in a similar
state (still poor, still all black). When I knocked, a girl on a stoop across
the street told me "the white man that rides the bicycle" wouldn't be back for
a while. So I hung around. Because I was there during the week, instead of the
weekend, it felt different. But, I was a lot older, too. I still felt at home,
though.

A few years later the church across the screen bought my uncle's house and
made it a parking lot. It was a good deal for them, since the house had been
condemned by then. I haven't been back to my home city, but I did look at the
street on google street view. Made me sad.

~~~
ianai
Given an aggressive stare as a nonverbal threat.

That sounds similar to what's happening to my dad's place. The city
reconnected a main street to circumnavigate his entire mobile home community a
few years back.

~~~
e40
Never had that, but as an adult I only went back that one time. Who knows what
it'd be like now.

------
kawsper
I lived 3 years in the UK, and now I am back in Denmark for a while, I hope to
return, but lets see what Theresa May & co figures out. I always thought I
wanted to go for the dual-citizenship, but not anymore.

It is difficult to live in a new place, you don't really feel integrated even
though you have friends, speak the language, go to events, pay your taxes, and
get the jokes, you will always be the dane and a foreigner.

A thing I noticed when I was away is how stupid and mundane Danish everyday
local politics look, and the same with the news cycle. I think it is
refreshing and healthy perspective, and I would encourage everyone to go to
another country just to get out of their bubble. And also to get some
ammunition against people that keep spouting "If I moved to another country, I
would assimilate".

When I returned I had adjusted to British service levels, and how fast it is.
I was used to get a coffee within minutes of ordering, and when I went to a
store and looked a little out of place, I would instantly get help. I got to
observe my fellow Danes as a tourist, and oh boy, I now understand why they
all seem to think we are rude, and don't really care at all!

But the most odd thing about being back home is that I don't really feel at
home, my thoughts and language is some sort of strange danish/british
amalgamation, and I feel like a foreigner, even though I bike the streets of
my childhood, say hi to people I went to school with, and walk the forests and
beaches I was going on adventures in as a child.

~~~
mathgladiator
As an American, I experience almost (not to same degree, but same kind) when I
visit Kansas where I grew up. I now live in Washington, and the two states in
the same country are entire worlds apart.

The people I know in Kansas, I can tell that my thinking has changed a bunch
in a multitude of dimensions.

~~~
coredog64
Western Washington or Eastern Washington?

~~~
bruceb
100 to 1 odds Western Washington.

~~~
mathgladiator
6 miles west of Seattle.

------
JacobAldridge
The old adage is that a man can never step into the same stream twice; for it
is not the same stream, and he is not the same man.

Stepping back home (in our case, moving back to Australia after 2+ years
living in London) is much the same - you have changed, and home has changed,
but you don't expect either to be different.

I think a big part is expectations. When we left, we were expecting something
different, unusual, full of surprises (how bad is London coffee?) and
annoyances. But returning 'home' you have no such expectations - you just
'expect' to slot back in.

But you've travelled the world, learned a different culture (although I don't
profess that in our case it was enormously different), moved on with your life
in some way ... and so too have all those people who stayed behind, and indeed
the city/town/country itself. So you're surprised, and you were expecting it
to be effortless. Shock!

(And it is the weird little things. For the first year I was always one block
off with my directions. But thankfully the coffee was as good as I remembered
it.)

~~~
vacri
A Greek friend of mine said of the Greek diaspora here in Melbourne that when
they came out post-war, they became 'hyper-Greek' as a coping mechanism,
embracing their culture more fully. They then travel back to Greece for
whatever reason, and complain about how decadent it's become.

Of course, he says, Greece hasn't really changed, it's just that now the ex-
pats are seeing it through the lens of being 'hyper-Greek' now.

~~~
distances
I've heard this is indeed often the case, emigrants embracing their home
culture in a more fundamental way. Maybe the imagined state of one's culture
is often that of the grandparents' time, always a bit behind of the reality.

~~~
pjc50
British expats certainly are notorious(+) for doing this - epitomising some
kind of Imperial Britain that may not even have existed when they were born.

The most ridiculous subset are those people who live in Spain and complain
about "immigrants" in Daily Mail comments. They may be in for a surprise if
the hard Brexit they supported happens and they lose their right to reside in
Spain because the UK won't guarantee residence for Spanish nationals.

(+) Not All Expats

~~~
NetStrikeForce
Calling them British Expats does not help. They're migrants (weather migrants
I like to call them when someone mentions "economic migrants") and live in a
mental -and often physical- ghetto.

The problem is that a big majority of them does not speak the language and, in
case of creation of a points visa like some Brexiteers want for migrants
coming to the UK, they will fail due to their lack of integration.

------
bane
I've lived in other countries a handful of times for fairly brief periods (no
longer than 6 months), and it is really true. I've know some people who've
spent years abroad, come back to the U.S. and nope right back out as fast as
they can find employment back where they came from.

It's not a statement about the quality of a place, but really having to go
through an adjustment to get used to your new home and then having to readjust
back to where you came from (only you keep telling yourself you shouldn't have
to since it's your home) and then constant comparisons between places, which
you already did as part of your learning of a new place, but now you start to
see all the bad stuff about where you're from, but you were used to doing the
reverse instead.

It takes a while for all the differences to average out in your mind.

I don't think I've ever had to too bad, but I've definitely spent a few weeks
angry at how terrible Americans drive after coming back from Germany, or how
bad service is when coming back from Korea.

But I've also had kind of the opposite feeling. After one long stay in
Germany, and feeling very foreign, I remember coming home and it not really
registering that it happened until I got in the taxi and the driver was
playing some R&B. I'm not even an R&B fan but the _Americaness_ of it, after
hearing weeks of Europop, hit me like a stick and I suddenly felt very very
home.

~~~
donw
Have lived in Japan for about eight years now, with a year-and-a-half
somewhere in the middle spent bouncing around Germany.

Originally, it felt... very odd, every time I came back Stateside, especially
when visiting the podunk suburb where my parents live (and incidentally, where
I grew up).

Going from a city of 13 million that has quite possibly the best civic
infrastructure in the world, to an aging and slowly dying town that barely
breaks the 80k mark in terms of population is quite a transition.

I think the best way to explain it is... divergence? As in, my path, and the
path of that place have diverged. Everything from before that point feels
"natural", and everything afterwards feels strange.

Now that I've been an expat for awhile, and have bounced around quite a bit,
that feeling of oddness seems to have vanished for pretty much everywhere I
visit.

Sure, things are different in different places, but everything seems to fall
into a slot of "this feels right" or "this doesn't suit my tastes", and there
really isn't anywhere that has a perfect mix of everything.

Although I'll admit, the urge to return stateside has gotten quite a bit
stronger over the years. I'm very comfortable in Japan, speak the language,
and have a solid social network, but at the same time, I find myself missing a
lot of the daily aspects of American life (especially the grocery stores!)

There's a really good article on the subject as well; On Being A Triangle (And
Other Tips For Repatriation): [http://naomihattaway.com/2013/09/i-am-a-
triangle-and-other-t...](http://naomihattaway.com/2013/09/i-am-a-triangle-and-
other-thoughts-on-repatriation/)

~~~
bane
My experiences in Asia come mostly from Korea. Over the last decade or so I've
noticed the grocery stores and selection there have dramatically improved such
that I can usually find a reasonable analog for just about anything I want (so
long as I don't get too fancy or want good cheese). But I've never lived there
long enough to probably need that _one_ thing.

I think also, I've been married into Korean life so long, most of my home
grocery shopping occurs at big Asian grocery stores anyways, so the experience
isn't that much to translate.

What do you miss about groceries in Japan that the U.S. has?

~~~
donw
Fruit in Tokyo is both ludicrously overpriced and, in general, mediocre.
Japanese people prefer soft fruit, so crunchy apples are very hard to come by.

Many common ingredients in Western cooking don't exist -- I would kill for a
supply of fresh jalapeños, or potatoes suitable for baking (you only find two
varieties of potato in Japanese supermarkets).

I can't legally have a barbecue, either, so it's _really_ hard to escape from
fried meat here. My cholesterol numbers shot up quite badly when I moved to
Japan, even though I'm not that much of a meat-eater (maybe 2-3 times per
week).

A decently-sized kitchen with room for a stand mixer is basically unobtainable
unless you spend serious money on an apartment, not to mention a proper oven.
Japanese homes don't have ovens, so you have to buy your own. Ovens sold for
the consumer market here are only slightly larger than microwaves, and while
they come with more inbuilt computing power than AWS, simple things like "cook
at a low temperature for three hours" are impossible.

I could go on, but suffice it to say: Japan has many wonderful things, but
they don't line up with my hobbies and interests.

~~~
masklinn
> I can't legally have a barbecue, either, so it's really hard to escape from
> fried meat here.

Isn't Yakiniku fairly common? Though a personal shichirin would probably
impossible if you're in Tokyo itself, just as having a BBQ usually isn't an
option if you're in Manhattan or London "proper" unless you have a huge top-
floor condo.

Japanese cooking definitely seems to be on the fast side though, despite the
long and extensive prep'.

~~~
literallycancer
Couldn't you do it on the balcony though?

~~~
masklinn
Technically yes[0], legally not necessarily, and practically you'd be
bothering your neighbours which probably isn't recommended and may get you in
trouble with your landlord as well.

[0] assuming you have a balcony which isn't always the case

------
bandrami
Yup. I'm a "trailing spouse" for an American diplomat, and this is so true.

One thing that always, always, always happens to Americans when we repatriate
is the "grocery store freakout". At some point, you will go to a grocery
store, and freeze.

"Man..." you'll keep saying, "Americans really love breakfast cereal..."

~~~
rhizome
_" Man..." you'll keep saying, "Americans really love breakfast cereal..."_

Though it's true to some degree, I wouldn't go that far. My sense is that the
higher the margin on a product or product-line, the more money the
manufacturer and distributors have to purchase shelf space. Cereal, Chips,
Crackers, Ice Cream, Mayonnaise.

The last time I was at the store I counted 21 separate varieties of Triscuit,
10-12 flavors over three sizes.

Don't freak out, it actually is weird.

~~~
jessaustin
That explains too much... why aren't high-margin products in other developed
nations' grocery stores treated the same way? Or, if they are, why isn't
breakfast cereal one of them? Perhaps because _Americans really love breakfast
cereal_?

~~~
KJP191
My theory is milk. Breakfast cereal is designed to be covered in milk, but
compared to North America and Western Europe, milk and milk products are far
less popular in most of the world. I think I remember reading that there's
even a biological reason, ethnic Europeans have some enzyme for digesting milk
(and cheese etc) that others lack.

This would imply that other milk-drinking Western countries would also eat a
lot of breakfast cereal. And indeed it's something I notice when I go back
from China to Belgium or the UK.

(Disclaimer: I haven't been to the US, so perhaps Americans like breakfast
cereal even more than Europeans)

~~~
bane
American here, I grew up on breakfast cereal (for better or worse). Cereal
seems to be one of those things that exploded in variety and marketability in
the U.S. I've never seen anything like an American cereal aisle in any of the
other countries I've been to anywhere in the world.

What I find really interesting though is how that's slowly starting to change
as other countries start to adopt more of the quick-eat consumerist culture
similar to the U.S. What's more fun is that the local solutions to snacks and
cereals are usually very interesting and designed for local tastes.

The first time I went to Europe, 20 some odd years ago there really was a slim
selection, mostly variants of Muesli mixes. When I was in Russia in the 90s, I
really wanted some breakfast cereal and there was a big effort to get milk and
some corn flakes. In Germany I had more selection, but not hugely.

The first time I went to Korea about 15 years ago it was the same.

More recently I notice the amount and selection of breakfast cereals is
exploding on those countries. Most of my experience has been in Korea, and
there are now full-on cereal aisles with an entire list of different products.
Not as many as the U.S. but definitely getting there.

So what's fun it that not only do I get to eat all the American varieties, but
as other countries add other cereals to their cultural inventories, I get to
try and enjoy those as well.

------
emchamp
Long time lurker here, first time poster.

I am an American living in Japan and enjoying all the trials and struggles of
living somewhere utterly different from where you grew up. In Japan I'm
American, however back home I am Asian-American. Among Asian Americans I'm
further subdivided into another category. I have very few close friends of my
own ethnicity and those that I have I would consider as just Americans
anyways. The thing is that even with people of my own ethnic group, I don't
have much to relate to since I don't speak the language and I grew up
somewhere completely different. I discovered after coming to Japan that the
thing I relate to the most is being American. However it's funny that in the
US I knew I was American but I always felt I had to put an asterisk on that or
a hyphen since I wasn't part of the majority.

My point is that I've always felt as somewhat of an outsider no matter where
I've gone, but still I have a concept of home and that is the US. I think it
took going to somewhere completely different to REALLY cement my own self-
identity and self-image.

Coming here I had no idea what I would come out identifying as culturally, but
I think it should have been obvious that it's the place that I grew up in and
spent most of my time despite feeling like an outsider at times.

I'm likely going to go back home soon for many reasons (culture differences,
language barrier, heavily reduced respect/pay for programmers over here,
missing friends/family) and I'm curious how I will handle the reverse culture
shock. From this experience though I'll gained have a stronger identity and
how important being an American is to that.

~~~
erikb
I also had this feeling of only learning about my own national/cultural
identity by being the foreigner in another country. Suddenly you even realize
there are things you're proud of, although you've never thought of yourself as
being proud about your country before.

And I'm jealous that you know about the reverse culture shock. Gives you some
time to prep for it. I'd be really curious if it helps. For me and probably
many others the reverse shock was actually much worse. Took me about a year to
get any kind of life back. And it was really disappointing that all the new
things you've learned you couldn't just not really share with old friends and
family, they don't really care. Otherwise they would've taken the trip with
you, right? So for them you are not the smart, cool guy who managed to do
something extraordinary, you're the idiot who did lots of crazy things and now
pesters them with all of the experience they could have told him before would
be troublesome and weird.

What helped a little was having contact with expats in the other direction who
I could communicate with after returning face to face, and keeping all my
friends from the foreign country at least digitally close by.

Good luck with returning! Hope it works better for you.

------
madradavid
What a coincidence, I just got my `Carte De Sejour` (Residence Card) today. I
am a Ugandan living in Paris.

Uganda was colonized by the British so the official language is English, I
grew in the capital city (a different tribe from mine with a different culture
and different language ) so back home when I visit my relatives who live far
from the city (my ancestral home) I feel like a foreigner (they used to call
us `city borns`).

Here in France, the French expect most black people to speak French and know
about French culture (they colonized a number of West African countries ) but
again in our country we speak English so you feel awkward and out of place.

To make things even more complicated my fellow East Africans (Kenyans,
Tanzanians) speak Swahili so when they meet you they have this Swahili vibe
but again Ugandan's don't speak Swahili we speak English... So a foreigner at
home and a foreigner abroad, HN is home :-).

~~~
kerbalspacepro
Sounds like you need to get to the U.S, bud.

------
trustfundbaby
I've lived in the US for almost half my life. I went back to visit my home
country in West Africa for less than a week just a few years back ... I was so
stressed out by everything there that I fell sick for almost two days. Then I
moved my departure date up by a day just to get out early.

No credit card machines, nothing resembling customer service (I'm talking
actively rude or disinterested store attendants), Nightmarish traffic since
traffic signals and lanes are just a suggestion and not enforced by police,
Hyper religiosity, rampant and casual homophobia (they're all convinced
America is going directly to hell because of gay sex), truly shit roads, with
cars that shouldn't be on the road EVERYWHERE, right beside Lamborghinis and
Mercedes, barely-there running water, internet and most importantly,
unpredictable electricity supply and the ever present drone of diesel
generators that supply power to individual houses because the electricity
supply is so useless.

It was too much. I've never been so happy to see a starbucks in my life.

~~~
peteretep
This sounds more like what we used to call "This Be Africa" when I lived
there, rather than reverse culture shock per-se.

~~~
trustfundbaby
dunno about that. I grew up there, so at one point, all this was completely
normal to me. It wasn't till I went back that I realized how INSANE it all
was.

My family ask me every week, when I'm moving back. lol

~~~
ido
This may have also been exasperated by such a short visit?

When I visited India for a couple months in 2004, it took me a couple of tries
to even be able to go out to the street (in Delhi). But after a couple days I
started getting used to it and a week or 2 later it was "fine" and not really
that shocking (albeit still annoying at times).

------
SomeCallMeTim
Heck, I grew up in the Bay Area, and I get reverse culture shock when return
to visit for more than a few days.

So. Much. Traffic. People packed into trains. Everyone so...not exactly rude,
but not nearly as friendly as I've grown accustomed (I live near Boulder,
Colorado).

I feel like my blood pressure is higher the entire time I'm there. Of course
the air pressure is higher, so that may have something to do with it, but I
think it goes beyond that.

On the other hand, I've never been in great shape, and the first day down at
sea level and I feel like I could run a marathon...

~~~
colmvp
I always hated driving in SF.

I can deal with traffic.

I can deal with the pedestrians and cyclists.

I can deal with the slew of drivers who thought signaling was optional.

I can deal with paying for parking.

But holy shit the lack of paid off-street parking lots in numerous parts of
the city bugged me, alongside the absurdly inexpensive on-street parking. I
never understood why the city didn't raise the price of on-street parking
spots given the demand. The city which I currently live in has 4x the
population of SF yet it's significantly easier to find parking spots in most
parts of the city as the parking rates properly reflect the true cost of
parking.

~~~
ajmurmann
Oh man, I will never forget the time my wife and I drove to Northbeach, looked
about 40 minutes for a parking spot and then drove back home.

------
feelix
To someone who has not tried living overseas this may sound like a classic
'first world problem', and I suppose it is.

But what I can't stress enough is how __severe __it can be. I went and lived
in various places around the world for a decade, from about 23 to 33. The
place I settled down most was in Ecuador, where I learnt the language, met my
long term partner, and made some close friends and integrated with the
culture. But I spent years in Europe, the USA, and Asia too.

All of the above was achieved just by coding software and selling it off some
wordpress websites I put together.

And now I've been back in New Zealand for exactly 3 years, and it's __awful
__. Life is so repetitious and small and boring. I 've never been more
miserable. And it's for the same reasons in this article, and that other
people are mentioning in this thread.

The funny thing is that before I left I had no particular desire to go (I just
did it because it was easy and my friend wanted to), and I was happy. But now,
because I have had those life changing experiences, I'm not.

~~~
iamcreasy
Can you give us an example about the difference in your life between Ecuador
and New Zealand?

------
komali2
I disagree that the jarring bit about home is that it's changed. For me, it
was that so little had changed.

At the supermarket I worked at when I was 16 were some of the same people,
working the same cashier job.

Friends were still talking about "getting back into college," doing the same
thing they had done every weekend for years.

It depressed me.

~~~
brewdad
This. I grew up in a medium sized town in Michigan. Haven't lived in MI for 20
years and haven't visited my hometown much since then since my parents now
spend most of the year elsewhere. I spent almost a week there this Xmas and
came to see how a community with strong union labor ties could vote for a
candidate like Trump. Almost nothing had changed there in 20 years and what
little had changed was almost exclusively for the worse.

------
unsignedint
Even just visiting Japan (I'm originally from Japan) causes this for me. Short
stay is fine, but I feel really foreign, maybe more so than "foreigners" as
people in there can detect disconnect of my appearance and mindset by my
subtle deviation from expectations of how I act in there.

~~~
verisimilidude
I can sympathize. Whenever I come back to the US from Japan, I find myself
bowing at the supermarket and persisting lots of little Japanese mannerisms.
Sometimes for days. Japanese culture seems to demand more...commitment...than
some of the other places I've visited and lived. Perhaps Japan is a stronger
source of reverse culture shock.

~~~
greggman
Bowing st the supermarket ? I've been in Toyko for over 10 years I've never
seen customer bow at a supermarket. Is that a thing in some other part of
Japan?

What I notice going back to the USA is how it often feels like the 3rd world
countries my dad would tell me about as a kid indirectly trying to tell me how
great the USA is.

Now I just see crime, corrupt police, etc. Came back for 6 months got my car
broken into twice. Once in LA, once in SF. Try to hang out at a coffee shop to
work but have to pack up my stuff and give up my seat to use the restroom
because otherwise my computer will be stolen. I never feel safe riding public
transportation in SF where as I never not feel safe riding in Japan.

Another is convenience. After 9:30 in Venice Beach, if I haven't eaten by 9:30
nothing is open except 24 supermarkets in have to drive miles to. Compare to
Tokyo where there's almost always a conveniece store within 5 minutes and they
actually have reasonably good options.

Food is bland and large. Americans seem to prioritize quantity over quality in
general. At least in the suburbs.

I could rant about Japan too but the topic is reverse culture shock.

~~~
verisimilidude
"Bow" might be the wrong word. More like the subtle forward nod/thrust that
you make with your head when you thank or acknowledge someone. Most Americans
might not even notice it, to be honest.

I lived in Gunma for several years, for what it's worth. That was about a
decade ago.

------
chiph
Did a military long tour in Germany in the 80's. Returning was jarring. There
were TV _series_ that I had missed entirely or major parts of, ("V", "Miami
Vice", etc) that had become part of the culture. Public trash cans freaked me
out -- all the ones on military bases and in major German cities had been
removed because of the Red Army Faction terrorist threat.

Walmart went from "Who?" to "OMG this place has everything!"

Finally got to eat Pop Tarts again.

------
aytekin
I spend 1/3 of the year in San Francisco and 2/3 in Turkey. Educated and lived
in US for a long time previously.

I feel home at some aspects of each country: Respect for pedestrians (US),
friendly warm helpful people (TR), diversity in food and people (US), a
hometown where I'd love to live my last days on earth (TR), rich language
(US), humble people (TR), startup and business culture and experienced people
(US), paradise like vacations (TR), optimism and good luck surface area (US),
family (TR).

------
ragle
Another phenomena that can creep up on well-traveled folks is "the curse of
the traveller" (obviously not a technical term, but I've not heard another
name for it).

Essentially, you subconciously collect "likes" about each place where you
spend a sufficient amount of time.

The food in this place, the coffee shops somewhere else, a street market
culture here, the women/men there. A language, the climate, pace of life and
attitudes from other places.

With time, the mind constructs its own personal Shangri-la (which contains
_all_of these things) and you, explicitly and/or implicitly, spend the rest of
your life dissatisfied with the delta on your actual experience.

In practice, for me this has been more of an "ah... that's happening, heh"
thing that I observe going on in the mind rather than a difficult-to-live-with
curse.

I'm curious, however, what the effects will look like another 10 or 20 years
in. I suspect it could grow worse with age as we are able to travel and do
less? That's hopefully just a matter of managing perspective, though.

~~~
tim333
It can be a positive when people bring back the stuff they found better when
abroad.

------
lokedhs
I have lived overseas for over a decade, and while I have no current plans to
move back to my country of origin, I think I know what moving back would feel
like, and it matches what other people have told me.

The article talks about things having changed when you get back. I'm not so
sure that's the big issue. I think the biggest problem is that you yourself
have changed so much, and your views are greatly expanded. While when you come
back, nothing had really changed. That local grocery store is still there, and
things are pretty much exactly where they were all those years ago.

I feel some of this every time I go back to visit my family, and at the end of
the trip it feels very relieving to go back.

I think if my home country looked very different, as they suggest would be a
problem in the article, going back would be a much more exciting experience.

~~~
renegadesensei
Completely agree with this. I too have lived abroad for a while and it amazes
me how much things remain the same back in the United States. The culture
shock is always more about how much I have changed, not America.

------
renaudg
As an EU citizen living in the UK for 7 years, worried as we all are about my
Brexit bargaining chip status, the part about "involuntary/unexpected reentry"
is sad and terrifying to read.

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cjcenizal
Perhaps not culture shock per se, but when I fly back to LA, I am always
shocked at how gray and brown everything is from the air.

~~~
seanmcdirmid
I just moved to LA from Beijing. I'm shocked at how clean the air is, there
are never bad AQI days (at least nothing over 200), and...I can smell flowers.
I visited often enough, so it shouldn't have been a surprise, but I realized I
wasn't really smelling anything but dust and air pollution for 9 years.

~~~
inimino
Beijing air is horrific. I can't imagine putting up with it for nine years.

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noonespecial
I left the US when I was 11 and lived in Europe until I was 18, returning to
the US for University. So to mine was added the fuzzy memories of childhood.

Wal-Mart absolutely blew my mind. Also, America is _huge_.

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dcw303
I'm six years in Japan. I think staying in touch with your home country makes
a big difference. I'm yet to move back for good, but I find that two things
have made my readjustment when visiting home much easier:

    
    
      1. Keeping up with family via Facebook
      2. Getting an AFL streaming subscription
    

If you're not Australian it's hard to understand, but once you've experienced
the greatest sport in the world it's hard to give it up.

~~~
mfringel
As someone who is not an Australian (i.e. born/raised in the USA), I will
agree with you that Australian Rules Football is one of the greatest sports in
the world. :)

------
SparkyMcUnicorn
Just to comment on minor reverse culture shock I had... A few years ago I
spent a fair amount of time in some Slavic countries, and I couldn't believe
how clean the streets of NYC were when I got back.

~~~
jclem
That's how I felt coming back to NYC from San Francisco.

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rebootthesystem
Interesting article. I feel very much at home in places like the UK,
Netherlands and Spain. Not so much other European cultures.

Coming back to the US, no real problems adjusting. Maybe I didn't stay in
Europe long enough or popped between cultures with enough frequency to not
have anything "imprint".

> the psychological, emotional and cultural aspects of reentry

I thought "reentry" was an odd word choice here. I immediately thought
"mission to Mars".

------
Rapzid
I'm a NZ permanent resident and moved back after nearly 5 years living there.
My shock is mostly politically related; I'm hyper aware of the polarized
nature of the country now as well as the lack of understanding of UHC. The
inability of our government to streamline and adopt modern technologies into
the governance process(downsize), hyperbole and rhetoric on both sides, etc.

------
erikb
All this culture and reverse culture shocking taught me to get sensitive about
all the adaptions we have to make often and don't think about. E.g. when
moving from New York to LA people talk about being "homesick" but people don't
talk about culture shock. But it's the same, just more small scale since
people still speak your language and have a somewhat similar culture compared
to different countries on different ends of the world.

Right now I'm in the process of moving to another city and can appreciate a
lot all the things I learned about culture shock and can handle it quite well,
e.g., the overpowered feeling of loneliness that sometimes hits you really
hard, or that you must be careful about sharing experiences since others don't
consider the same things weird as you.

------
solidsnack9000
Living in Switzerland for a year, and then returning to San Francisco, I had a
feeling of disaffection and disappointment for about a year afterward. It took
me all of the that time to again be able to enjoy the things around me -- SF
restaurants, the weather, &c -- in the way that I did before I left.

------
piceas
I love it. "Home has changed. You have changed. You have adapted to another
culture and now you must readapt." Don't be bitter about it. Get on with it.

The advice that "People at home aren’t as interested in hearing about your
foreign experience as you are in telling them about it" also resonates with me
and can be a tough pill to swallow. In some ways it's similar to oversharing
upon returning from a holiday. It shouldn't hurt too much when most people
don't care how amazing or difficult it was. When your foreign experience is
part of your identity it can be easy to take that disinterest personally. If
you look/sound/act at first impression as the other culture it can feel like
every introduction starts with satisfying the person's curiosity. When that
curiosity is immediately followed by disinterest the incongruity can be
jarring. For my partner's reentry I suggested that we have a short one
sentence answer explaining where we were so that the conversation could move
on quickly and save the rest for those who are genuinely interested.

I think wtbob's comment that "It's not about better/worse; it's about
different." is very helpful. There is a time to compare and denounce the
absolute and relative merit of an aspect of a culture but it can be unhelpful
if those criticisms are just an outlet for frustration.

For the cross-culturally mobile parents in the crowd please please please
consider that your children's experience might be very different than your
own. The Reverse Culture Shock - Managing Reverse Culture Shock page [1] has
lots of practical advice. I also highly recommend reading Third Culture Kids :
Growing Up Among Worlds [2]. I would also recommend it to those who are
reflecting upon their own childhood intercultural experience.

[1]
[https://www.state.gov/m/fsi/tc/c56076.htm](https://www.state.gov/m/fsi/tc/c56076.htm)
[2] [http://www.crossculturalkid.org/third-culture-kids-
excerpts/](http://www.crossculturalkid.org/third-culture-kids-excerpts/)

------
205guy
> Your commute to work might be more time consuming. > You may need to spend
> more time in the car for > shopping, picking up kids at school or playdates,
> > or running errands. These are not necessarily bad > things; you simply
> have to adjust to a new routine.

Sad they had to call out these specifically. When I moved back to the US and
landed in San Jose (South Bay Area), I thought I was smart and would live
"downtown." I only lasted 3 years before meeting a European woman and moving
to a very culturally different part of the US.

------
mrdrozdov
This would fit so well into George Carlin's Euphemisms bit:

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuEQixrBKCc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuEQixrBKCc)

------
known
Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their
illusions destroyed.
[http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2007/08/05/t...](http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2007/08/05/the_downside_of_diversity/)

------
rosser
This is absolutely a thing. I've spent months in another country before, and
took a ~4 month round-the-world trip a couple years ago. It takes some
adjustment to re-enter your home country. I can't imagine what it must be like
for people who've lived abroad for years.

But what's nice about it, if you can engage with it this way, is the fresh
perspective on your (formerly) habituated world this state can offer.

------
Markoff
lived better half of decade in China, returning back to EU was pretty much
smooth:

\- sky here is always blue

\- drivers in EU are kinda annoying stopping and letting me pass when just
standing next to crossing even when I dont really intend to cross yet

\- streets are completely empty

\- sidewalks are empty, not full of trash and people occupying them with their
illegal stuff

\- cashiers are kinda lazy, you have to take stuff out of your basket and put
it on moving belt, already used that in China cashier was doing everything

\- shops are closed half of the time, very ealy in evening, almost all
weekend, not open 7 days a week like in China

\- almost nobody stares or pay attention to my nonwhite wife despite currently
staying in very small town, I was being stared at all the time even in
cosmpolitan Beijing

\- people here in EU in general are very soft and weak caring too much about
others instead of being selfish, more agressivity would be sort of welcome,
though it is to my advantage

\- cars have to wait for dumb green light when turning right (always green in
China)

\- I can go straight from my apartment to train or subway without single
check, unlike like 7 checkpoints in Chinese train station

\- cash is still very common when buying things like ice cream though Visa
paywave is very convenient in bigger shops, just touch terminal and you are
done, in China you can live with Wechat payments in your phone but very
inconvenient with scanning QR codes instead of just touching card to terminal
in Europe

\- even in very small town you can find people speaking English or at least
some basics, you would have trouble even in cosmopolitan Beijing, dont dare in
some smaller place

Overal I am glad I moved back, though life in China was more easy going and
less serious, because it was considered more like videogame than real life,
because we all know as foreigners there is no future there and you have to go
back sooner or later.

~~~
Markoff
Oh yeah and i forgot - I FUCKING HATE eurocoins, always need to be aware of
that crap and trying to get rid off it, since you cant use card everywhere.
These eurocoins seem like some third world country which cant afford plastic
banknotes. Good old eastern Asia where I could live just with banknotes and
online payments.

------
cylinder
I've experienced it after only three months away from the US.

------
andy_ppp
It's takes 3 months in India to show me how weird, grey, twee, pompous and
reserved England is.

------
jankedeen
It's time and space. Northern Virginia in 1978 and now. That's a mindf*ck.

------
vasundhar
This was called repatriation shock, surprised to see its placed here on
state.gov

------
plasticchris
I get this when returning to the Midwest from California...

------
jflowers45
Is this a new addition to their website?

~~~
pizza
Not particularly, according to the earliest cached version on the Wayback
Machine
[https://web.archive.org/web/20160801000000*/https://www.stat...](https://web.archive.org/web/20160801000000*/https://www.state.gov/m/fsi/tc/c56075.htm)

------
poguez
Is this the science behind smooth deportations?

------
holdenc
Why call it reverse culture shock? It's simply a realization that the United
States not the best country in every regard. And in many regards it's failing
badly. Personally, I call it the I-can't-get-healthcare shock, or the I-can-
only-find-chain-restaurants-in-flyover-country shock, or the NYC-subway-is-
not-as-nice-as-the-Asian-country-train-system-I-just-left shock.

~~~
wtbob
> Why call it reverse culture shock? It's simply a realization that the United
> States not the best country in every regard.

That's completely not it at all. Culture shock is what happens when one visits
another country and realises that certain things one takes for granted aren't,
and other things one thinks are negotiable aren't. It's the same phenomenon
which young historians have when they first read of a technologically
advanced, trading culture which also casts every firstborn child into a
furnace (e.g.).

Reverse culture shock is the same phenomenon, when one returns back home. It's
caused by the fact that one has assimilated to one's guest culture to some
extent, and upon returning home … one finds that certain things one had grown
accustomed to taking for granted are not, and other things one had grown
accustomed to thinking negotiable are not.

An example is the wide variety of cereals in American groceries, or the
limited variety of organ meats. If one has grown accustomed to just buying
'müsli,' and one suddenly has a dozen different varieties, one claiming to be
good for keto diets, one claiming to be vegan, another gluten-free, another
paleo — _that 's_ a culture shock. If one has grown accustomed to making
kidney pie, then returns to America and must make a conscious effort to source
kidneys — _that 's_ culture shock. If one has grown accustomed to horse or
whale, and returns to find that they are _illegal_ — well, _that 's_ culture
shock too.

It's not about better/worse; it's about _different_.

