
Ask HN: What to do if you are ridiculously burnt out? - reactivator
I&#x27;m in a partnership project where I am the developer and my partner is the marketer, and it hasn&#x27;t felt like a partnership at all.<p>The app is written in AngularJS and Node-Webkit (gosh, I regret not using React), and I&#x27;m bad with time which my partner understands, but every week asks me to get it done over the weekend and it&#x27;s been a month of that so far.<p>I&#x27;m working 7 days a week 10+ hours a day and I can&#x27;t handle it, I can&#x27;t eat from the stress getting to my stomach, and I can&#x27;t sleep because I always think about the project. On top of that, I&#x27;m the only one expected to work these ridiculous hours, everyone else is usually 8 hour week days.<p>I just want to get this project done, start making money but also nicely (without explaining all the technical details) why it is taking so long.<p>What should I do in this situation?<p>Thank you in advance!<p>EDIT: Grammar fixes and separated in paragraphs.
======
nso
I quit my job, sold my house, sold all my stuff and moved to a lazy beach town
near the equator. Never felt happier, never felt more rested, never thought as
clearly as I do now.

Totally not answering you question when it comes to finishing the project, but
sometimes you just have to call it quits because your health is more important
than yet-another-website.

If you are ever in Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca, Mexico -- give me a shout and
we'll hang out :)

~~~
oulu2006
Sounds like a great plan; I'm moving to Brazil for a bit to do the same thing.
Not for too long the first time, but with an intention to scope out the place
and find some incubators I can hack in; been learning portuguese for the last
year to make it easier for me to do. I found English fluency was a lot less in
Brazil than it was in other non-english speaking countries I had been to.

~~~
rafaelnco
If you've got the chance to do some travel, check these out:

[http://revistapegn.globo.com/Como-
comecar/fotos/2014/11/conh...](http://revistapegn.globo.com/Como-
comecar/fotos/2014/11/conheca-14-melhores-cidades-brasileiras-para-abrir-um-
negocio.html)

------
begriffs
I'd say chill out, the project is probably not that big of a deal in the
scheme of your life. I've been in a situation like that and most of the
problem is your own thoughts reinforcing themselves. In reality you can pause
work at any time. You can drop out of the project entirely. All it takes is
saying "sorry, I'm not going to work on this any more."

So talk with your marketing partner and tell them you're working too hard and
need others to help you more, and that you're going to take a week off from
stress. Then try to think about other things. Go see people you haven't seen
for a while. Come back after a week and see how your partner can address the
work imbalance and see if you want to keep going with them. Seriously, just do
it.

~~~
joshcanhelp
Great advice.

To add to this, if you are ostracized for taking time off or trying to adjust
your hours to a reasonable amount, that's a good sign that this is not a good
place to be in the long term. If it's bad now, it will stay that way.

------
laex
Is the idea behind the app validated ? Has your partner talked with the
potential customers ? Is the problem you're solving really an important
problem ? Have you already built an MVP ?

I've been in similar situations where my non-tech friends ask me to start dev
work on their ideas. My response usually to them is to find 10 customers
willing to pay even before the product exists.

So the bottom line is that you should ask your partner to find paying
customers for the app and not continue dev. work until they do.

~~~
mod
I don't disagree, however if this hasn't been the idea, it's going to be a
hard sell now.

If the plan was "hey, let's build this mvp and meanwhile I'll do x, y, and z
marketing materials, and then we'll get out and sell!" and OP agreed, well--
that's where he's at.

Saying "well I'm not working until you get 10 customers" at this point is not
okay.

In the future, OP: take this very good advice.

~~~
cauterized
"I'm not working any more weekends until you get 10 customers" seems fair,
though!

~~~
mod
Agreed. Or "I'll work as much as you do."

------
ajkjk
"I can't eat from the stress getting to my stomach, and I can't sleep because
I always think about the project"

I think you should take it as a rule of life that this is an unacceptable
state to be in. You should see this as justification for drastic action - be
it letting your team down, or standing up and saying you can't do this, or
quitting entirely and moving to the equator, or whatever works for you.

I think there's no state in which it's reasonable for a human to be mentally
oppressed like that, and you should do _absolutely whatever it takes_ to get
out of that situation as soon as possible and to not edge back into it. (Not
to be confused with having a lot of work to do and having to work late and
being under pressure from timelines. That doesn't have to necessarily come
with these physiological effects.)

------
ggreer
Sometimes, the best way to accomplish your goals is to work nonstop.
Sometimes, it's more productive to dial back and make a long, sustained
effort. Sometimes, the thing you're working on isn't worth the effort, so you
do something else.

No matter what you choose, I strongly recommend you talk to your buddy. Don't
vent, but try to help him understand what you're going through. Tell him what
needs to change, and be concrete. For example: Say you'll work 40 hours a
week, plus one weekend a month if there's an emergency. If your requests are
wishy-washy or open to interpretation, each of you will have different
expectations. It will just postpone the problem.

Lastly, don't get too worked-up about this. Worst-case, you walk away and the
project falls apart. The end. Nobody gets physically injured. Nobody's life is
ruined. Everyone moves on to other stuff.

Remember: Nothing is ever as good, or as bad, as it seems at the time.

~~~
sillysaurus3
_Don 't vent_

Actually, it seems like a major problem is if they don't have anyone to vent
to. The fact that they're making an HN post suggests they might not.

The HN post is of course more than welcome. What I'm saying is, they need
someone in their personal life to vent to about all of this, otherwise they're
going to start making bad decisions.

~~~
jtfairbank
I vent to my cofounders all the time. Sometimes its about the other (we always
circle around the next day and have a more thought out discussion), sometimes
its about my work or more general stress. Definitely helpful getting through
those tense moments and back to work, I really appreciate another perspective.

------
gpcz
Can you supply some details about the business-related dynamics at play here,
specifically whether or not you're being paid any flat rate (or just equity),
what your share is compared to the marketer, and whether you have a contract
that puts you on the hook for anything?

A recent article ( [http://www.hailpixel.com/articles/technical-
cofounders](http://www.hailpixel.com/articles/technical-cofounders) ) and the
accompanying HN discussion (
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8959377](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8959377)
) highlights how exploitative the "technical co-founder" relationship can be
-- you may want to evaluate whether your situation resembles something like
that and whether you want to re-negotiate or leave.

------
astockwell
While it sounds like you're in a product startup, I was recently in a similar
situation with a client service focus: A partner and I (he was design/light
dev, I was heavy dev/ops) struck out on our own. After a few months of ramp up
we signed six figures of contracts in a single month. Giddy as we were, we had
worked together for years and knew deep down it wasn't manageable. But dollars
are very effective beer-goggles.

We laid out work-life expectations; mutual desires to work <40h/wk, how to
manage clients, charge what we were worth, etc.

The biggest problem I blame myself for was the self-inflicted up-spiral of
expectations, which sounds like what's happening with you. It started with
replying to one of my partner's emails at 10pm, then turned into email
conversations until 1am many nights/week with him and the clients. Emails
about where I was, followed by texts and Slacks about if I got the emails, on
and on.

I cannot speak for my partner, but in hindsight I would say that we had
different business priorities and in the end, pleasing clients trumped balance
for him and it didn't for me. We never really had that candid conversation,
and it basically became a toxic 3 months that ended with us dissolving the
partnership and likely permanently scarring our friendship.

I'd encourage you to have a dedicated, private face-to-face with your partner,
and have an open discussion about what you've been doing, how you're feeling,
how they're feeling, and what you want/need from this partnership. And if
they're wants/needs are incompatible, time to say goodbye.

------
staunch
Are you sure you haven't buried yourself in a technical hole of despair?

If you have, it may be faster to treat your existing version as a prototype
and rewrite a highly simplified version (an "MVP"). You can probably reuse a
lot of the existing code and fix all of the big mistakes that are dragging you
down, like not using React.

Make it your goal to get it released by a certain date and stick to it.
Ruthlessly cut features until it's possible to meet that date. Reevaluate
every sacred cow. Reason from first principles about what your product
absolutely _must_ do.

~~~
nikanj
In my opinion, if you don't know if you have a product-market fit, there's no
point in effectively doubling your "bet" in the existence of the market by
rewriting the prototype.

So you're not using the best possible tech, but neither scalability nor
performance matters when there's absolutely no users. Once you get at least
some traction you can make more informed decisions about the rewrite, but
right now you'd be just throwing more coding hours into creating something
that might not have a market.

I agree with the last chapter 100% though, just throw the baby in the pool and
see if it can swim. Our launch version had a lot of features implemented as
"one of the founders is going to do it manually if you click on the button".
Then we automated the tasks we actually had to do more than once per hour.

------
swadworth
Easy. Tell your partner to kiss off. You work 40hrs a week. You won't get more
than 40 hrs of productivity out of a week. So what's the point in destroying
your health and interest in the project by putting in more hours?

------
Hytosys
>On top of that, I'm the only one expected to work these ridiculous hours

If you're anything like me, that's just a self-imposed expectation. Otherwise,
you should tell your partner that you're going to work fewer hours. Maybe 6
hour days.

Whatever you need to stay healthy. I think you hold a lot of leverage that you
need to exercise.

I was recently in the exact same position with my partner (I'm also the only
programmer) and it was all resolved by being open and honest. Talk it out.

Also, take a break for an entire week. Try your best to not think about the
project. Your life doesn't depend on it :)

------
dsuth
I recently worked on a project similar to this. Based on my experience, these
are the things you need to do:

\- Take a break for 3 days _minimum_. Go cold turkey, preferably not in the
same city you are in. Just get out of there. It'll feel crazy, like you don't
have the time, but trust me: at this point you're endangering your own health
and the project. If you're a single point of failure, and it sounds like you
are, things could go very pear-shaped if you keep this up and really fry your
noggin. Which leads to my next point;

\- You need help. You're trying to do too much, and it's just not possible
within your apparent timeframe. See if you can get someone else in to help, or
get one of the other team members to pick up some slack. It's completely
unfair to expect 7 x 10 hour days from you, and anything less from the others.
I'd state your reasoning calmly and clearly (after you've had a break; use the
time to reflect on your work and where the project is going, trust me it will
look different), and let the team know it's just not feasible unless you come
back at significantly reduced hours + extended timeframe, or get some else on
+ extended timeframe to bring them up to speed. These are the realities of
where you are, and the sooner you fess up to them (to yourself, and the team),
the more chance you will have of salvaging what you've got.

Just my 2c.

------
thrillgore
I was in a similar situation working 12+ hours all the damn week, no paid OT.
They gave me no expectation of downtime. Which was where I started to lose
hope. I eventually reached a point where I quit on the spot. No resignation.
No notice, after my 17th consecutive panic attack and manic call to my father,
who knew I was in pain.

It took me at least three weeks to totally process where I was. Being with my
family helped even if they didn't understand the technical background of
things.

Sometimes you have to take the nuclear option.

------
Jemaclus
I have yet to run into any work-related problem that simply can't wait until
tomorrow. If you put in a solid 6-8 hour day, then you've earned the right to
let the rest go until tomorrow morning. I don't take my work home with me --
it can wait. I don't check my email when I'm at home -- it can wait. It's not
my fault my colleagues check their mail when they're at home, and it's not my
fault my manager sets unreasonable expectations. I can only do so much, so
when I'm done for the day, I'm done for the day.

Your mileage may vary, but whenever I feel the way you feel, I ask myself,
"Will anything change if I stay another 2 hours, or will it be exactly the
same tomorrow morning, after a fresh night of sleep?" and the answer is almost
"exactly the same." So I go home, have a nice dinner, relax with my
girlfriend, and get a good night's sleep so I'm ready to tackle the problem
again the next day.

And if I'm ever in a situation where someone is harassing me to work extra
hours for no extra pay, that's the day I quit.

Work shouldn't be stressful in a bad way. (There is such thing as good
stress.) If it is, someone is being unreasonable -- it may be you, it may be
your colleagues, it may be your boss, but either way, it's time to step back
and look at the big picture.

Can this wait until tomorrow?

Yes, it can.

------
cynusx
Just take a break.

Technical projects always take more time than expected and I've not seen one
that actually finished in time. The key here is to _manage expectations_ of
the rest of the team (note the word "manage"). In order to do that well you
need to learn how to manage your own expectations first, think about all the
times you said it will take you X hours/days and it turns out to take much
longer. If you're not convinced of this you can write down all the occurrences
you remember that you estimated and how long they actually took.

The reality is that you're almost always out of bounds (5 minutes takes an
hour, 30 minutes takes 2 hours,...).

So one approach you can take is break down the project at all into tasks you
should be able to delegate e.g. "implement create company page from mockup".
Then list them up in a google spreadsheet and sort the list more or less
according to stage (alpha,beta,stage) and then estimate the task length using
half-days as a unit. e.g. This will take me 3 half-days to complete. Only use
fibonacci numbers when estimating to take into account that bigger tasks carry
more inherent uncertainty.

The idea is that some simple tasks will be over-estimated and that other tasks
will be underestimated but it will even out so you're estimate is more
accurate and you can say that it will give-or-take a few days X working days
to complete.

Bear in mind that you just estimated the creation of the first version and
that it is impossible to know how many revisions will be needed before it is
production-ready.

In summary, don't kill yourself over expectations.. take some time off to
recover and then do a full project estimation to better manage their
expectations (and your own). If you're going to survive working independently
you need to make sure you are on a weekly schedule that your body can deal
with and not working weekends works for the majority of the population.

~~~
ZenoArrow
> In summary, don't kill yourself over expectations.. take some time off to
> recover and then do a full project estimation to better manage their
> expectations (and your own).

This. Exactly this.

Note your body will probably crash for the first few days (depending on how
burnt out you are). Just let it. Spend the time resting, eating quick to
prepare but healthy meals and drinking plenty of water. Making decisions about
re-organisation decisions can wait until you've recovered.

Oh and switch off your phone. Would recommend films and TV if you need a low-
energy distraction.

I can say all this because I've burnt out before. My body just shut down, was
hard to even move, luckily I was visiting friends who looked after me during
this time. Don't wait until it gets that bad, explain you need a week off and
take it.

------
moron4hire
There is the easy way--which should not be thought of at all as the shameful
or inferior way--and that is to just quit everything and hit the reset button.
You really need to rest. I've been there myself too many times.

And there is the hard way--which I am not really sure I've ever seen
implemented successfully--and that is to wrestle control of your situation and
pull it back to normal, healthy habits without quitting. Maintain your
obligations, but stick up for yourself and take care of your health at the
same time.

On the one hand, it's a lot easier to take care of yourself if you don't have
a lot on your plate.

On the other hand, it's really easy to get a lot on your plate again, if you
don't force yourself to learn how to take control.

Try wrestling control first. Quitting will still be an available option. And
don't forget, it's a perfectly acceptable one!

------
hncomment
From the description of your situation, there's no single-step answer.

Phase 1 has to be to recover some balance & perspective: take a week off, and
if/when you resume work, cap your working hours to a more traditional schedule
to allow variety and recharge time in your days/weeks.

Phase 2 is to use the balance/perspective/distance to evaluate whether the
partnership/team is right, the development goals are reasonable, and the
schedule expectations realistic. Abandonment of a project that hasn't matched
original hopes is always an option.

If you choose re-dedication to the same project, be sure you know what will be
different. You likely need a technical collaborator, for both mutual-review
and task-sharing, far more than any amount of 'encouragement' from someone
whose skills aren't applicable or even yet needed.

------
j45
Your time away from the keyboard is more important than at the keyboard. I've
been glued to a laptop keyboard for 15+ years where it's never been more than
a few feet away.

There is a Marissa Mayers interview out there that talks about yahoo hiring
practice that centers around an idea of "deal breakers". The few things people
must have that lets them sustain working crazy hours.

Whether it's family responsibilities every week, or some other activity,
rediscover or find yours.

A few honest days of letting yourself do some reflecting (read: reflecting is
not working) on the project, how you're spending your time, and how you need
to spend your time. If you keep doing the same thing (work even harder)
expecting different results......

------
oldhand
(Using a throwaway account for this...)

I got burnt out a Big Company. The politics, idiocy and short-sightedness
finally got to me. I felt sick, couldn't get up in the morning at all. One
day, I decided to just quit. They didn't believe me at first; but I insisted.
So they had to let me go.

I had some money saved up (I am a saver, so that helps). Been out of work for
more than a year; living in SF and just playing with whatever catches my
fancy. Docker, Hadoop, ML, Go, etc. etc. I attend interesting meetups; go to
talks, etc. I'm enjoying every minute of it!

In a few months I'll probably go back to work, but this past year has been the
best year of my (adult) life.

------
grandalf
Just tell him you are reaching a burn-out point and need a few days of
complete R&R. That is normal especially when you are working really hard. If
he's a good partner he'll understand.

What's the ideal work flow? I tend to lean toward steady, solid flow day after
day with a good work/life balance. Others seem to like more of a
sprint/celebrate kind of flow. In a small company you should be able to just
do whatever is best for you if you are the one writing the code.

------
jonpress
You are putting too much time into it. If you can't do something in under 50
hours per week, then you're not being efficient with your time.

I have a day job at a startup (maybe 45 hours per week) and I also have my own
side project (about 30+ hours per week on top of that) - So I'm working a lot
but these 30 extra hours are easy because I literally work on my laptop from
my bed.

Because I know that I only have 30 hours per week for my side project, I am
very careful about how I choose to invest my time.

You need to be thinking about how you can make the most of every line of code
that you write. You have to reduce your project down to the simplest form that
will still meet your goals. This could mean reaching a certain number of
users, becoming profitable, etc...

Note that better funded competitors are always going to be able to get more
work done than you will - So if you want to compete with them, you have to
make sure that your product is simpler than theirs and try to use that
simplicity to your advantage.

If a simple solution is just not viable in your chosen area (if you can't
break your project into smaller, individually marketable parts), then you
should cut your losses and choose a different area altogether.

If you have funding then you should think about hiring people to whom you can
delegate some of your workload.

------
Atuly
Marketers usually won't understand what it takes to build a tech product. So,
you need to make them understand that writing code requires solving complex
problems and it takes time. Even the best programmers can't build shit
overnight!

In fact you are the Rockstar of the project and it should stay that way (not
taking credit away from your marketer partner). You guys should talk this over
drinks. Without the right camaraderie no startup has ever succeeded.

PS: I am not a programmer

------
brador
If you burn out it's gonna take you YEARS to recover, not months. Do your
40-50 hours and stop. The app and startup will be there for a few years but
you will need your body, health, and mind for the rest of your life.

Avoid burnout at all costs. Nothing is worse for a software engineer. It will
destroy your career and cost you a fortune over your lifetime.

------
clarkevans
In a start-up, there's two things you're building: a product and a
partnership. Sounds like you are focusing on the product only, and if you're
partner isn't with you -- your start-up will fail (even if it succeeds
technically).

Make sure your partner is in the trenches with you writing the business cases
/ user stories, writing test data / documenting of test cases, writing user
manuals / making screen mockups, documenting system architecture (you sketch
on whiteboard), and finally, doing manual testing early and often to give you
feedback and to understand the challenges.

Later on, it'll be your job to be in the trench with your partner in the other
side of the business: on sales calls, supporting client requests, presenting
to investors, making hiring decisions, and establishing company culture. Don't
think of it as dividing responsibility, think of it as sharing responsibility.

------
syewell
Totally agree with all the comments about taking care of your health and
managing expectations with your business partner. Trying to be practical
though, you feel a commitment to "get the job done." Maybe try to think of
ways where you can fulfill your role as technical lead and out source some of
the development to contractors off odesk. There will be a couple weeks of
inefficiency while you figure out the process, true, and then you should have
a couple developers you can lean on to help you out. Your role will change
from coder to product manager / architect. It's an uncomfortable transition,
but I think worthwhile. If you want tips on getting through this process let
me know.

------
russellhealy
I suspect you are having trouble telling your partner how you feel, and what
you need, for whatever reason. Can you share the details of the situation with
a friend, and have them talk to your partner on your behalf? If not, I am
happy to do it for you. Let me know. Edit: my username at gmail.com

It is important to deal with this, because you may break under the stress much
faster than you expect. It's not a nice experience. Fix it while you can.

You may think you owe it to your partner/business to keep going, you may think
you have brought this on yourself. Maybe you have, but in the scheme of
things, it doesn't matter. It's not worth having a mental breakdown over it.

------
bbody
I think you need to remember that you don't do your best work when you are
tired/stressed (Despite what our brain makes us think).

> I just want to get this project done, start making money but also nicely
> (without explaining all the technical details) why it is taking so long.

I know the feeling however, are you or your boss moving the goal posts
constantly? I find this makes me burn out quickly.

If you can try to tell your boss you aren't working one weekend and switch off
all technology/communication and think about your goals. Maybe read a fiction
book that is unrelated to your work. It will help you understand how you think
about yourself and the project more clearly.

------
cft
You need someone who understands business- the fact that you work so hard and
cannot finish it is a business problem. Marketing partner is not enough, if he
is hard-limited to that role and does not know what to do in this situation.

------
boobsbr
You probably got tons of advice already, and from people who suffered from
burnouts.

I too suffered a terrible burnout, which led to depression. First of all, get
psychological help: go see a psychologist and a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist will get you some meds to help get your head balanced in the
short term. The psychologist will help you sort out emotional and stress
problems in the short, medium and long term.

After getting better on the short term you'll be able to work out the areas in
your life that need attention.

Hope you pull through. Burnouts are just horrendous, don't let yours become
crippling depression.

------
mod
What does "bad with time" mean?

Are you working 70 hours/week _on the project_? Or work + project?

Either way, definitely stop what you're doing. Work less.

Also, _" it hasn't felt like a partnership at all"_ \-- is that to say he's
not working on the project? I'd cease the partnership. I was in this situation
recently, with a family member whom I trust. If they can't motivate themselves
to work on it now, in its infancy, I can assure you they won't find the
motivation later.

If you like the idea, "buy them out" or strike out on your own.

~~~
ZenoArrow
> What does "bad with time" mean?

I think he meant bad with setting realistic time estimates. It's an easy
mistake to make when something is new to you, but it can cause problems, as OP
is discovering.

------
rafaelnco
I know that feel and all I had to do was take a stand

You have to take a stand for your values - remember Oprah?

Oprah Winfrey — 'Always take a stand for yourself, your values. You're defined
by what you stand for'

It seems like you are a partner, not a pack donkey. Of course there is a need
to get your product done but, let's get real, sometimes it so mechanic that
there's no pleasure at all. Remember when you were all excitement about that
project?

Review the processes and balance the responsibilities

------
j_lev
Just one data point, but I worked myself into all sorts of health issues at
one point and didn't get any significant compensation nor recognition. Keep
that in mind as my advice is "use them out while it suits you but keep your
eye out for something better."

If your situation is anything like mine was then I really feel for you. You
probably feel trapped right now, and that adds to your stress which compounds
your mistakes.

Maybe read The Dip by Seth Godin. And good luck!

------
jahansafd
My advice is keep working on it. But work as much as you can even if its for a
couple of hours per weekend. You'll eventually finish it. I've seen a lot of
projects get done that way. Also, don't damage your health because you need to
have a clear and healthy mind to successfully build and run a startup! If you
think you're over doing it, take time off and get back to it later. Just don't
give up ;)

------
njays
One can keep digging to understand if it is worth all your efforts. But
neither you or your team can be 100% sure about it. Thats why SteveJ said, you
cannot connect dots looking forward.

I do meditation and it has done wonders for me. You should give a try.

[http://www.ishafoundation.org/Ishakriya/Learn-
online](http://www.ishafoundation.org/Ishakriya/Learn-online)

-NJ

------
kilt
I know exactly where you're at. As I too am in a very similar situation. It is
almost as if we have become the bottle neck in that nothing can progress
without finishing the tech. My burning question is why cannot things progress
in parallel?

------
kashif
my thoughts

\- i would reduce hours down to 8 and take the weekends off

\- you aren't anywhere close to burnout, for me burnout is when you can't work
anymore not when you can work 10*7!!

\- don't fret it, the project will be done when its done

------
wtf_is_up
Stop working such long hours and take some of that time to exercise. You will
feel more energetic, blow off steam, and have plenty of time to defrag your
brain during your workouts.

------
Taur3c
1\. Learn to say: No (It's okay) 2\. See #1 3\. Fitness (Body and Mind dude,
burn away those stress hormones.

------
Taur3c
1.Learn to say No. (It's okay) 2.See #1 3 Fitness (Body and Mind dude burn
away those stress hormones)

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coldergator
Take some time off doing things you enjoy. 7 days a week is unsustainable and
unproductive.

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ffn
Partner, I know exactly how you feel (except in my case, my partner is my mom,
lol. And I run masterrace ember-on-rails instead of plebian angular on node),
and I completely agree, sometimes it really is too much. We see the other
people in our industry, folks like jashkenas, wycats, our benevolent overlord
Linus Torvalds, and the host of other celebrities and we marvel at their
productivity; we hear stories of how ninja-hackers build their entire business
working 24 hours straight over a hackathon and come out with an amazing
business like Cloudflare; we look towards folks like Zuckerberg, Ohanian,
Poole, etc. and seethe with envy at how they can build amazing products that
not only scale to massive size but also actually do it all part-time while
going to school or whatnot.

And then we look at ourselves, at our own handiwork, at the small handful of
shoddy projects we have under our belt (most of which probably are ignored
because of their incompleteness), and feel frustration.

"Why am I not as good as they are?"

"I should be better than this!"

"I need this done by X or else I'm going to lose this opportunity forever"

"Why am I not making money yet?"

If this describes you in anyway, then congrats, you're a workaholic passionate
about your craft. Me too, actually. But unless you enjoy irreparably wrecking
your health, and dying of colon cancer at 40, you need to temper that fire in
your heart. Here is what I did to help me get out of my own emotional hellhole
some time ago:

1\. I admitted to myself I am not a "code-ninja", "programming rockstar",
"chief-architect", or even "senior-level programmer". Despite the fact there
are plenty of people (some younger than me) who can make software happen
overnight, I am not one of those people; whatever I do will take time and
often I will make mistakes.

2\. I admitted this to my partner (aka my mom) and accepted her disappointment
in me, but asked her to nevertheless bear with me as I slowly get better. I
also admitted this to my investor, who didn't mind too much because he was
well-diversified against my (no doubt) imminent failure.

3\. I accepted the fact I am not Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, or any other
likely-to-be-invested-in-by-union-a16z-yc candidate going at a break-neck pace
to change the world. I'm happy learning about and doing js, web, css, and
programming at my own pace and if my works will one day be appreciated by
society, then great, but if not, that's okay too.

Those 3 realizations helped me fix my attitude and improve my lifestyle,
hopefully, they can help you too.

A disclaimer: Some may read the above as saying "don't have ambition, don't
try to push yourself, don't achieve". I'm not saying that at all; instead, I'm
saying to temper your ambitions with patience, and if you wish to overcome
your weaknesses, then the first step is to accept them. Life is long and not
as fast-paced as the media makes it seem, nor is it a competition to see who
can succeed earlier / faster, so go at the fastest pace you can while still
managing to enjoy your work.

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gargarplex
Find a friend to pair program with you.

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c1sc0
Stop

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beachstartup
you're being taken advantage of.

quit and recuperate and find a real job or a real co-founding team.

if you insist on going through with it, have a lawyer verify all the company
paperwork.

good luck.

~~~
sillysaurus3
Probably the most important comment in the thread.

You're being taken advantage of. This can't be overstated enough. And if you
really insist on letting it happen, you _must_ check that your payoff is going
to be what you expect. Make sure your equity won't get diluted too much, make
sure your equity can't be taken away from you, and make sure that in a
liquidity event you're in a proper position to receive payout. Some liquidity
events result in no money going to certain kinds of equity holders due to
payment priority.

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websurfshop
Give your life to God and start keeping the seventh day sabbath (Saturday).

