
When You Get a Job Counteroffer: Should You Stay or Should You Go? - ohjeez
http://blog.smartbear.com/careers/when-you-get-a-job-counteroffer-should-you-stay-or-should-you-go/
======
pacaro
I previously worked at Microsoft. When I told my boss that I was leaving he
asked a very polite question (I don't remember the exact wording) asking
whether this was open for negotiation, and I told him no, that I had signed an
offer and intended to take it. We moved on to discussing how I would close out
my existing work items.

When a friend of mine (also at Microsoft) told his boss that he had a job
offer from Google, but wasn't explicit about whether he had accepted it yet,
they bent over backwards to try and persuade him to stay — offering, among
other things, the promotion that he'd been passed over for in the previous two
review cycles (so much for no promotion budget), pulling in upper management
to spend time with him to persuade him to stay. All this just served to
communicate to him how messed up his situation had been, if they can promote
you now, why couldn't they before?

As long as you have been clear with your management about your expectations
w.r.t. pay/promotion/work etc. then any counteroffer is simply an open display
of organizational misanthropy.

w.r.t. Microsoft, one of the unspoken flaws in their review system is/was that
by the time a review is delivered to an employee, it is too late to fix
anything. If you think you deserved a promotion/bigger bonus/merit
increase/whatever it has to wait until the next review cycle (a year) to be
corrected (unless your manager is really prepared to fight hard for you and do
things out of cycle—possible but hard)

~~~
badman_ting
> As long as you have been clear with your management about your expectations
> w.r.t. pay/promotion/work etc. then any counteroffer is simply an open
> display of organizational misanthropy.

Ha! I like that.

------
zeidrich
I think that an important step is to pre-empt the counter-offer.

When you even start to consider another opportunity, think about why you
actually want to move to the new opportunity. Is it that you need more money?
Is it that you want to work on a different kind of project? Is it that you
need more stimulation?

Then go to your employer, and without bringing up the other opportunity, see
if they are willing to make the change that you want. Don't be angry that they
haven't already done it for you, until this point you didn't even necessarily
know you wanted it, you can't expect them to.

If they accept, then you are in an environment where you're happy, and your
employer is probably happy that you are motivated and taking steps to make
things happen. If they reject your offer, then pursue the better opportunity.

In that case, if they do give you a counter-offer, it's either going to be
less than you need, which makes it easy enough to say no to. Or they will be
offering you the same thing you've already asked for and declined to provide,
which means they are doing it out of desperation and you can expect they will
to an extent resent it if they feel it's something they can't afford, or they
will have been actively trying to take advantage of you by denying you fair
treatment when you asked for it directly.

I think first decide what it is you need, then give your employer the
opportunity to provide what it is you need of their own accord, then accept an
offer with another employer who can provide what it is you need. Then you
don't have to worry about the counter-offer. You've already gone through it
once on your terms.

If you don't make your employer aware that you want a change prior to your
resignation, and they would have been willing to offer it to you all along if
they knew, you're both in an awkward position. If the counter offer is exactly
what you want and you take it, there will be some soreness and a passive-
aggressive attitude that will persist. If you ask for what you want and get it
prior to saying "Or else I quit" it's much smoother sailing for everyone.

~~~
sockgrant
Absolutely the right approach.

You owe it to yourself and to your employer to be honest with them. If you
think you deserve more money, a new manager, a better project, etc. then ask.
You shouldn't say you'll leave if you don't get it. You just lay out your
reasons and make a simple request.

Also, it's important to start these conversations early. If you want more
money and are ready to quit within 1 month if you don't get it, you are asking
too late. If you can't stand working for your manager for 1 more day and you
haven't told anyone, you're too late.

When you start having these wants, it's important to bring them up. "I'd like
to be on track to be promoted within 1 year, how can I do this?" Stay on top
of this subject with your manager. If you have problems with your manager,
amicably let him know how you two could work better together. Make a few
efforts at it. If it doesn't work then you let a higher-up(s) know and leave
it to them.

If you're proactive early about what you want from your job then you'll either
get what you want or save time finding out that you won't get it. It will also
lead to a very easy decision to stay/leave a job.

~~~
jonnathanson
This is good, solid advice.

In general, taking your manager or company by surprise -- for good or bad --
is never a great strategy. If you're angling for a raise or a promotion, make
your intentions known well in advance. Don't assume your boss can read your
mind. Have a plan, get input from your manager, follow up on it, and show
progress. Don't expect something to happen overnight, even if your boss wants
to make it happen. He or she might have several layers of red tape to work
through, or might be unable to give spot promotions and raises outside of a
given cycle. (This is especially true at large companies, whose managers have
less discretionary power than commonly believed.)

Protip: rather than asking for a raise at an arbitrary number, try to find out
the pay-band structure at your company. Know what the bands are, where you
fall within them, and accordingly, how much room you've got to negotiate
within reason. This information isn't always public knowledge, but chances
are, somebody at your company has it. Reducing information asymmetry is key to
a successful negotiation.

------
smacktoward
You should go. Accepting a counteroffer is a no-win situation.

If the counteroffer is amazing, it will poison your relationships with
everybody in the company: colleagues will resent you for getting what they
will see as a golden ticket when they didn't, and managers will resent you for
what they will interpret as mercenary tendencies -- i.e. you're just waiting
for someone to come along with an even _better_ offer before you sell them
out. So you'll have to work with a bunch of people whose opinion of you has
just dropped through the floor.

And if the counteroffer _isn 't_ amazing, why would you consider taking it in
the first place?

~~~
nanidin
If the result of telling coworkers is so undesirable, why not keep it between
yourself and your immediate manager?

~~~
smacktoward
Word of these kinds of things tends to get around, even if you don't spread
it. In most cases people won't know exactly how much you got to stay, but that
won't stop them from assuming you got _something_ , and that something is
something they are not getting.

In fact keeping the amount secret can actually make problems worse, by
encouraging people to use their imagination to answer the question; then you
end up with a situation where you actually got an extra $5K/year, but everyone
you work with thinks you got an oil tanker full of Spanish doubloons and a
stable full of ponies.

------
jere
>For his part, Hurwitz himself resigned from a job at one point. He turned
down a counteroffer from his boss. Six months later, he quit his new job. He
got his old job back, in part because of his decision to turn down the
counteroffer. “The boss told me it was because I hadn’t played games and had
acted ethically,” Hurwitz said.

Wot? His company gave him a counteroffer with the attitude that _accepting
their offer_ would be unethical?

~~~
smacktoward
Counteroffers are frequently made out of desperation more than anything else.
"Holy shit, Bob is leaving?!? I didn't even know he wasn't happy. Quick, put
together something that'll keep him around."

The problem with this is that the people making the counteroffer often feel
they are doing so, effectively, at gunpoint: give me a bag of cash right now,
or lose a key cog in your machine. "Nice company you've got there. Sure would
be a shame if something were to... _happen_ to it." So they are often made
grudgingly, which leads to bad feelings. And if they are accepted the bad
feelings go deeper, because now the people making the counteroffer feel like
you put one over on them. So paradoxically, taking their counteroffer can hurt
your relationships with those people pretty deeply, while rejecting it can
keep them stable or even improve them -- when you walk away, they can
interpret it as you choosing _not_ to put one over on them.

None of this makes any logical sense, of course, but we're talking here about
emotional decisionmaking, which has very little to do with logic.

~~~
dllthomas
It makes _some_ sense - leaving demonstrates that pushing them for the
counteroffer wasn't your intent at the outset.

------
stevehawk
If it's a large organization - get out.

If it's a small organization - stay if you actually like it.

The difference is that small organizations understand people, the risks, the
sacrifices, etc, because they're still human. Large organizations only care
about their bottom line. They will hire your replacement, probably a junior
level person, train him up, replace you, and then do the same thing to him
years later when he realizes he hates it for the same reason you do.

Besides, life is about growing and doing new things. Not the same shit forever
for a 2.5% raise (if you even get that)

~~~
a3n
Best answer.

Most of our jobs don't mean shit. It doesn't matter.

------
Domenic_S
Article was a little unfocused, jumping from here to there, but the advice is
sound. If you're so unhappy where you are that you're interviewing around,
negotiating pay & benefits, etc, then you need to go. Your current place has
proven that they are not a right fit -- which could mean as little as that you
don't feel comfortable bringing up concerns to your manager.

Any way you slice it, you've shown your hand: you're out the door. A company
where it takes a resignation letter to spur them on to pay attention to you is
not the right place for you.

------
darkxanthos
One of my first bosses told me a story of how he responded to the CTO asking
him if he were looking for a new job. He said,

"Yeah! Always. How do either of us know what my market value is if I don't?
It's only fair."

I thought that was brilliant. No he was never fired and he stayed there quite
some time after that. :)

------
philip1209
The scary part about this is the change it makes in the dynamic with the
original employer - they know that you have once before sought other
opportunities and decided to quit. It wasn't a purely economic decision -
there had to be a lack of excitement to justify the uprooting of your career.

Perhaps the counteroffer is a guise as they hire somebody to replace you, then
you'll be let go as soon as they hire somebody.

The relationship can never be as "warm and fuzzy" as before you tried to quit.

~~~
Domenic_S
Good way to put it, the "relationship".

Two people are dating, one is an alcoholic. The other says, "I'm leaving,
we've talked about your drinking 100 times and nothing changes so I'm leaving
you. Bye." The drunk says, "oh no, stay with me and I'll stop drinking!"

Does that situation ever turn out well?

~~~
fennecfoxen
Well. In this case, the company could offer money, and maybe even contractual
guarantees of continued employment. If structured properly these may be worth
more than empty promises.

~~~
Domenic_S
Sure, but usually money isn't the root cause, and who wants guaranteed
employment at a place they despise?

A person with a solid job that isn't on the chopping block (presumed because
of the presence of a counteroffer) isn't job-shopping for a 10% bump.

~~~
marcosdumay
> Sure, but usually money isn't the root cause

Not so fast. I, for example never changed jobs for any other reason.

Of course, I never got only a 10% bump, but well, we do need money, and we
should try to get more of it with time.

------
auctiontheory
The way companies work in real life, having an offer in hand gives your
manager more motivation _and_ leverage (to get more money for you) than he has
to help an employee who is not seen as "in play." In other words, to improve
your situation at a good but not perfect job, you sometimes _need_ to get an
external offer. Maybe that's not how it should be, but it's demonstrably how
it is.

You have ongoing relationships with people, including your managers and co-
workers - don't burn those. But your "relationship" with your employer
[company], at least in Silicon Valley, is transactional.

------
Nutella4
If you ask your current company for higher salary/responsibility/etc and don't
get it until you quit to take another offer, you have learned that your
current company is reactive and only responds to threats. In other words, your
current company is not a good place to work.

------
mikemikemike
I was in this situation four months ago. Frankly, I interviewed for the new
job because it came with an attractive salary, but there had also been recent
layoffs at my old job and I was interested in moving on anyway.

In the end, I'm glad I turned down the counteroffer and got out - I do think
that my relationships would have been poisoned if I had stayed, and some core
issues would not have been fixed. That said - I should not have taken the job
I did. Chasing money was a rookie move, and I'm now more unhappy than I was at
the previous company.

My advice is to think very realistically, perhaps pessimistically, about what
life will be like at the new company. If you're not sure, ask questions. Don't
take a new job because you want to get out - take a new job because you want
out AND because the new job is freaking amazing. I'm now job hunting all over
again, and it sucks.

------
jtbigwoo
From my experience, an employer should only counter-offer if they're truly
desparate. Just like this article says, the employee has already decided to
leave once, it's not going to take alot to get them to decided to leave again.
In addition, though, counter-offering one employee signals to others that they
can route around the usual process for promotions and raises by coming in with
an offer of their own.

I worked at a place where they counter-offered two above average (but not
great) developers who were working on an important client project. The two
accepted the counter-offers, but still left for good in a few months. Everyone
else in the office that wanted a raise or promotion now knew what they had to
do to get raises: find another job and bluff. It put a big dent in the company
culture.

~~~
weixiyen
> Everyone else in the office that wanted a raise or promotion now knew what
> they had to do to get raises: find another job and bluff.

In this case it sounds like a problem with the company not giving promotions /
raises until it's too late.

I think companies and managers must always look introspectively and see what
they are doing wrong that is causing people to leave, and how they can improve
the situation.

Often times, drastic changes might be necessary to the structure / day-to-day
operations of a team if too many people in one department are leaving.

------
wmt
I accepted an counter offer at a situation where my manager had been wanting
to promote me for 2 years. The worst part was that I had no idea why it was
not happening. I was asking at every performance review about areas where I
need to grow to get it and my mgr had no idea - he said that I performing at a
more senior level in all areas, and that I should be promoted. I did get a
nice raise, but not the title. Don't get me wrong here, the title wasn't that
important, what bothered me was the totally dysfunctional communication
between the management layers where I was left in a limbo where felt that
promotions were apparently not based on merit, but something secret.

Limbo wasn't fun, so I was happy to get a +20% offer from a another company.
However I ended up accepting the counter offer when I was certain that it was
too late to offer me anything to stay. I got a honest (I hope) personal
apology from my managers manager, the department head, who said that he had
been the one deciding not to promote me, and that he now understands that he
was not clearly communicating his expectations to my manager.

That was a bit over a year ago and while it might sound that the situation was
beyond repair, I'm actually happy I ended up staying. It actually changed my
managers manager behaviour to take a much more visible role in many other
areas and start communicating more directly to us instead of just the layer in
between.

------
rumblestrut
I tried to do a little counteroffer Jedi mind trick. It didn't go as planned.

After working almost seven years, I went on an interview that an acquaintance
told me about. The interview went very well, and shortly after I left the
office, they called and offered me a job. I told them I'd need a few days to
think about it.

I went into work the next day and told them, then tried to see if I could get
a counteroffer from them. It wouldn't have taken much for me to stay; I was
working in town and the new job would be a commute. If they could have matched
half of what the new offer was, I would have stayed.

But it was no dice. I took the job.

And you know what? It ended up being the best choice I could have made. The
acquaintance who worked there and told me about the job I know call "friend."
I moved from a solo environment to a team. My skills have improved, the pay
improved, and even the commute has turned out to be a blessing thanks to
audiobooks and podcasts.

Just something to think about. Honestly, I think if you think it's time to
leave, you should just go. It's time. Don't fight it.

------
jotux
Bram Cohen had an article about this a few years ago that offers a different
perspective: [http://bramcohen.com/2011/12/04/never-make-counter-
offers](http://bramcohen.com/2011/12/04/never-make-counter-offers)

------
codegeek
There is no "one size fits all" or binary answer to this. It really depends on
the individual case. I have seen both (staying vs going) happen to me/family
and in either case, it has been good and/or bad.

If you love working at the current place, you have a great relationship with
your boss/team and your _only_ issue is money, then a good counter-offer may
not be a bad idea. In fact, many times it is the _only_ way to get a raise
unfortunately. Consider the alternative. You might be making ok money but you
don't like your team/boss/company at all, then do not take the counter offer
even if they offer you more. You never know how it will turn out later on.

------
brechin
Talk to your current employer before seeking, if that's an option. You
shouldn't have to seek another job to get a raise/promotion/change from your
current employer. In my opinion, seeking or accepting a counter-offer is
unprofessional.

Companies should be proactive about keeping their employees engaged,
challenged, and relatively happy.

Whatever you do, keep the connections you've made--don't burn bridges. The new
opportunity may not be all it's cracked up to be, and it will be nice to have
some people to call when you're on the hunt again.

------
a3n
Leaving a job doesn't matter. You're going to leave eventually anyway. All an
offer in hand means is that you're leaving _this_ job on _this_ day, something
that would have happened anyway.

Just go, it's a part of life, like taking a shit.

------
rch
I heard an anecdote about a CEO who will happily provide a counter, just so he
will have an opportunity to replace you on his terms. Be wary.

------
zura
You should consider a counter-counter-offer. Actually, any number of counters
until they exhaust. Then you choose the better one.

~~~
oneeyedpigeon
If _you 're_ willing to treat yourself as a commodity to be auctioned off to
the highest bidder, imagine how your eventual employer is going to treat you.

~~~
zura
If OP is questioning to consider a counter-offer, what's wrong with
[questioning] considering a counter-counter-offer?

Your example is not relevant - you can treat yourself as a commodity even with
a single offer. Actually, even without any offer at all.

