
“Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things - darkroasted
http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/06/thank-you-culture-india-america/395069/?single_page=true
======
littletimmy
As a non-American, this was one of the biggest culture shocks I faced. On the
surface, relationships in the US seem very transactional (not making the
judgment that they are really transactional). For example, in the US a son
would thank his parents for paying his college tuition. In my culture, this
would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the
sense that the son ought to believe his parents wealth is his also, and later
willingly contribute his earnings when his parents need anything. It is a
difference in the degree to which individualism is the norm.

Reminds of the book "Debt" by David Graeber. He talks about how many cultures
have systems where everyone is indebted to their family and community, and
this debt is never to be settled. To want to settle a debt (or to even
calculate it) would indicate that a relationship has ended. So it is a huge
culture shock to see the degree to which calculation plays a part in US
relationships (like Sheryl Sandberg precisely splitting domestic chores with
her husband 50:50).

I have a feeling that the non-American system is better because it fosters
closer family ties, but that might just be because that's the system I'm
familiar with.

~~~
marktangotango
>> In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being
distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his parents
wealth is his also, and later willingly contribute his earnings when his
parents need anything. It is a difference in the degree to which individualism
is the norm.

This is very interesting, and brings to mind something I've been struggling
with recently (I'm USA-ian by the way). As a father I want to instill in my
children a sense of self reliance, a sense that they can go into the world and
make their own way, and be successful, without my help. In my world view, that
is the best gift I can give them.

I personally come from a background of rural poverty, my parents weren't able
to help me at all financially, but growing up working shoulder to shoulder
with my father on the (meager) family farm taught me the value of hard work
and thrift. Which I think have served me well (I am clearly biased).

So, from that angle, I don't want my children to see my wealth as their
wealth, or my success as their success. I would like them to view my success
as the result of hard work and perseverance, and an example of what they can
achieve, indeed, they can achieve more.

I post this merely as an example of my thought process, which is evolving. I
can see how there is value in what you relate here. So thanks to you in a non-
distancing sense :)

~~~
littletimmy
Hah, you're welcome. This is really interesting because it raises the
question: what role does affluence have to play in all of this?

In the case of my country, people usually aren't rich enough to save for
retirement, nor are starting salaries high enough for young adults to stake
out on their own. So parents help their kids right up to the point they can no
longer work, and then kids take over to provide for the family.

In case of you being affluent (as in with a completely well-funded
retirement), I can totally see why you'd want your kids to not see your wealth
as theirs. It might ruin their incentives to be productive citizens.

So, does affluence naturally lead to a weakening of strong family ties? Dunno.

~~~
bpyne
I think we need to have a better idea what's meant by "family ties". I'm from
the US. My teammate on a project is a woman from India. (We're both working in
the US.) She doesn't have children, but I have a 9yo daughter. We talk about
differences in how my wife and I raise our daughter versus how she was raised.
My wife and I follow the trend in the US of being very involved in our
daughter's life. We walk her to school, volunteer for her softball and
basketball leagues, and play key roles in the PTA. I stepped back my software
engineering career so that I can pick her up a few days a week from school and
either hang out, setup a play date, or bring her to an activity. (As an aside,
because I'm part-time employed now, I assumed more of the household tasks.
There seems to be a trend in this direction in the US for men.)

In my teammate's experience, parents in India tend to be more hands off and
let their kids develop independence earlier. Parents focus more on career.
Grandparents are more involved with caring for the children while parents
work. Despite the more hands off approach, my teammate misses her parents
greatly and was very sad and worried when her father was ill recently.

The parenting approaches are different, but the ephemeral "family tie" seems
to be present in both situations.

~~~
harryh
Articles like this make me think the Indian way is better:

[http://aeon.co/magazine/culture/children-today-are-
suffering...](http://aeon.co/magazine/culture/children-today-are-suffering-a-
severe-deficit-of-play/)

I'm about to have a kid (wife is 8 months pregnant) so I've been thinking
about this some. Unfortunately though, a lot of this is culture and individual
parents can't necessarily do a lot. It doesn't matter if I'd rather my kid
play in a pick-up game instead of an organized league if all the other kids in
the neighborhood are only in leagues.

~~~
amalag
That is an interesting article but I don't think they do it any better in
India. In India there is even more emphasis on memorizing things. In India
academics are probably over emphasized.

~~~
harryh
_shrug_

I really have no idea. Was just responding to the parent comment which said:
"In my teammate's experience, parents in India tend to be more hands off and
let their kids develop independence earlier."

~~~
amalag
I have Indian from the US but have spent time in India. I think its the
opposite, but as you said _shrug_

------
jmadsen
Perhaps he doesn't understand that "thank you" is usually meant as a simple,
polite acknowledgement. A heartfelt expression of gratitude in English is said
not with a stock phrase, but by stopping, looking at the person, and
explaining your gratitude to them.

He is confusing our stock phrase with something that is an entirely different
concept.

~~~
jmadsen
If I may extend my own post for a moment, this is a common problem of trying
to translate words & phrases directly.

For example, most people know that "Arigato" is Japanese for "Thank you".
Except that's really wrong. Arigato is inappropriate in most cases, and
"Sumasen" or variations should be used. But if you tried to translate them via
the dictionary, you'd be quite confused as arigato comes from "thank" and
su(mi)masen from "to finish".

You can't just say "This equals this" when you work in another language or
culture. You have to learn the native meaning itself.

~~~
alienchow
May I know your source for this?

Arigatou pretty much just means "Thank you".

Arigatou - "Thank you" Sumimasen - "Excuse me" or a milder version of "sorry"
Gomennasai - "Sorry"

If I help my Japanese roommate grab some stuff from the convenience store, he
says arigatou. If he wants to really be polite he could add on "suman, meiwaku
kaketa." (sorry for troubling you)

I'm not arguing against the fact that we shouldn't do literal translations
between cultures, but more that you're giving misleading ideas on Japanese
language.

If someone holds the door for you, or brings you a napkin, you can pretty much
just say "arigatou". They will most probably just reply, "iie".

Source: JLPT N1 and member of a Japanese Teamspeak game clan for 7 years now.

~~~
jmadsen
My "source" is 13 years in Japan living with Japanese wife, children &
extended family :-)

But I'm not going to argue - for example, it may just be that here in Kansai
we use them differently. We would definitely say "sumasen" for the things you
listed. Just shows how hard it is to get this down from textbooks.

~~~
kurthr
I'm surprised you didn't mention the less formal Kansai local term: "oh-KIni"
おおきに: It is also used as "Thank you" in casual situations, but my
understanding is that it is literally "Excuse me".

So much of proper speech is dependent on who you are with and their preferred
idom. Of course formality in the case of uncertainty is usually preferred, but
that can lead to both humor and embarrassment.

~~~
glandium
大きに (おおきに) is interestingly an abbreviated form of... 大きにありがとう (ookini
arigatou), in which 大きに just means the same as とても (totemo), so "very". The
equivalent in english would be to say "very much" instead of "Thank you very
much".

------
chatwinra
As an English speaker, I agree with others above that this article misses a
huge point about our language.

Yes we use thank you a lot, even for some things people may consider 'trite'.
I'm from the UK so I use it a HELL of a lot.

But I want to call out 2 points based on this:

1\. As mentioned above, just thanking someone can turn their day around, and
most times I feel rude if I do not say it (that is my cultural upbringing).

2\. For me/the English culture, it is a multi-faceted word. It can be used in
everyday scenarios, or it can be used in deeply emotional ones.

The article doesn't seem to acknowledge this, so perhaps the OP hasn't truly
grasped the intricacies of the language.

As an aside, I did find the information about the attitude towards 'thanks' in
Hindi really interesting. Thanks!*

*sorry, couldn't resist. ;)

~~~
haphazardeous
Are you being slightly passive-aggressive? That's what I understand if I see
"Thanks" instead of "Many thanks!"

~~~
joshyeager
You see "Thanks" as passive-aggressive? To me it reads as a very
straightforward statement that communicates a moderate level of real
gratitude.

------
paulsutter
I say thank you often, and every single time it's because I feel gratitude.
This guy is doing it wrong.

> After moving to America, it took me several years to say thanks to people
> without actually meaning it. Putting “thank you” on the tip of my tongue,
> ready to escape at a moment’s notice, rather than extracting it from the
> depths of my heart, was one of the hardest language lessons I had to learn
> in the United States.

~~~
ajuc
You feel gratitude when you receive change from the shop clerk and say
"thanks, bye"?

I guess the word "gratitude" is routinely badly translated, too, in that case.

~~~
learnstats2
> You feel gratitude when you receive change from the shop clerk and say
> "thanks, bye"?

I know that many people are saying this robotically, but I personally feel
genuinely grateful that the shop clerk has chosen to do this, and that they
typically do a good job - providing me with a good level of service that
greatly benefits me.

I recognise that it is not a fun job and that clerks often have to suffer poor
conditions and that if I had to do that job, I would be mind-numbed with
boredom.

So, I look the shop clerk in the eye and give my thanks fully and properly.
It's obvious that it's appreciated and it's obvious that few other people are
taking any time to genuinely thank shop clerks.

~~~
icebraining
_It 's obvious that it's appreciated_

Not around here, it isn't. I tried that three times, giving up after getting a
mix of disinterest and hostility.

Which frankly confirms my instincts, I only tried because I've learned not to
assume that my preferences match the general public's.

~~~
pessimizer
> Not around here, it isn't. I tried that three times, giving up after getting
> a mix of disinterest and hostility.

Someone physically and/or verbally attacked you for thanking them? That's the
only negative outcome that I can imagine, and what I'm reading when you say
"hostility."

Lack of interest seems a typical result - are you expecting to be thanked for
thanking people? Theoretically, that forms a chain never ends. I thank
everyone for everything that they do for me; sometimes they reply with "you're
welcome", sometimes our 'thank-you's collide because while I'm thanking them
for their service, they're thanking me for my patronage, sometimes I get a
smile, often I get no indication that I've said anything.

None of those are failures, because the goal was for me to thank people, not
to be praised for thanking people.

~~~
icebraining
Let me make myself clear, I always thank people. What I did those days was to
be mindful and sincere instead of thanking in auto-pilot.

 _Someone physically and /or verbally attacked you for thanking them? That's
the only negative outcome that I can imagine, and what I'm reading when you
say "hostility."_

Attack seems too strong, but an hostile tone, yes. More than once.

My goal wasn't to be praised, but I did have a goal of actually causing a
positive effect on others; I have no interest in "good deeds" that help no one
except the performer to feel proud about himself.

Considering that all signs indicated I was actually bothering people, I
stopped, as I think anyone should.

------
darkroasted
As an American, I've sometimes been bothered by the use of thank you. It is
fine as a pleasantry at a restaurant. But it always felt odd coming from a
boss or from the company CEO. I think to myself, "I didn't do this piece of
work as a favor to you, I didn't because you are paying me and you told me to
do it." It is interesting to read that this view is more common in other
cultures. I also dislike putting "thank you" in an email, before they have
agreed to do the favor or task. It feels very presumptuous. Am I crazy or do
other people feel the same way.

~~~
ScottBurson
I had a manager who made a practice of thanking people when they did things he
had asked them to. I hadn't seen it done that assiduously before, and I rather
got to like it. I try to do the same now, when appropriate.

I agree, though, that pre-thanking someone _before_ they've done what you ask
is presumptuous.

~~~
mgkimsal
That pre-thank may be meant as "thank you for your attention to this matter"
vs "thank you for doing the work".

------
andrey-p
I live in the UK, and whenever I travel back to Bulgaria, I get told off for
saying "sorry" and "thank you" all the time.

In Bulgarian, the word for "thank you" is "благодаря" ("blagodarya") but
people often fall back to a simple "мерси" ("merci" \- the French word, yes)
for transactional thank-yous.

I'm not really sure whether that's because "благодаря" is reserved for
sincere, heartfelt thanksgiving or because the word is just too long to say
very often.

~~~
ajuc
In Polish before 90s the French "pardon" was used for casual "I'm sorry" (for
example when you bump into someone) as opposed to native (and more intense)
"przepraszam" used when you really mean it.

Since 90s (and all the American movies) most people switched to English
"sorry" instead of the French "pardon" for casual "I'm sorry". The original
"przepraszam" is still mostly used for more meaningful apologies. And "pardon"
is still there if you want to sound old-style casual.

And yes, part of it is - "przepraszam" is longer and sounds more "dignified".
The thinking goes "if you're really sorry you should work for it".

~~~
scotty79
Funny thing happened to me when I came back to Poland from prolong stay in
Italy.

Italy seemed a lot denser to me so I bumped into people a lot. I quickly got
habituated to say "scusi" which is Italian quick apology.

There isn't really good formal quick apology in Poland. Pardon or sorry sounds
disrespectful if you are apologizing to older person. You need to go with full
"przepraszam".

As a Pole you probably know where I'm going with all this...

When I came back to Poland and bumped into older lady in the shop I quickly
said "sku..!...przepraszam"

In polish "sku.." is how some of the expletives start.

------
fareesh
I think it's important to point out that India is very culturally diverse. I
have lived in Mumbai for 22 years, and Canada for 8 years. I have said "thank
you" to people all my life. I do it consciously and sincerely - cashiers,
rickshaw drivers, waiters, friends, peers, everybody. I don't think I've ever
offended anybody - at least not that I know of.

With regard to family - neither of my parents' respective families are overtly
religious, and neither of them have Hindu or Muslim ancestries. We say thank
you to one another all the time. In fact, I can't relate to what the author is
saying at all! In the spirit of sharing/learning about new cultures, here's
hoping that the 7% of us (7 million people) aren't painted with this broad
brush.

~~~
frandroid
Who is this 7 million people?

~~~
fareesh
Christians, Sikhs, Buddhists, Jains and "Others" \- since my cultural
background is a combination of some of those, I'm fairly confident that the
author's perspective does not reflect my community, and likely some of the
other minority communities, of which India has 7 million people.

~~~
adiM
And even Hindus.

I grew up in North India and I was taught to say thank you to friends and even
to family members e.g., say thank you after being offered snacks (what would
be called hors d'oeuvres in the west), offered a chapati or additional daal or
sabji during meals, etc.

I did not say thank you to bus or cab drivers, but often did say thank you to
shopkeepers.

~~~
fareesh
Yes - just to clarify, my intent was to merely hypothesize at the idea that
perhaps people ought to proceed with caution whenever some sort of behavior is
categorized/stereotyped as "Indian", since in the case of India, even a
minority is a very significant number of people.

------
DanAndersen
When I was an English teacher in China, I noticed something similar. Saying
"thank you" to friends I made there resulted in a look of confusion, being
taken aback, and not quite knowing how to respond. Over time I noticed a
pattern and concluded that the interpretation was that friends shouldn't need
to say thanks to each other, and saying it turned interaction into something
more formal and less friendly.

------
tcfunk
Something I haven't seen anyone bring up is the way that "thank you" or
"sorry" are delivered.

I'm not familiar enough with other languages to know if they have similar
variances in speech, but in english you can very much change the meaning of
your message with the tone of your voice or your rate of speech.

Nearly any phrase can come off as condescending given the right delivery.

~~~
abandonliberty
Thank you _so_ much for raising that point.

I've spoken English since childhood and I've still gotten it wrong. So
awkward. "No, wait, that sounded sarcastic. I really meant it! Ok, that didn't
sound any better. Let me start over."

~~~
mannkind
> Thank you so much for raising that point.

That seems a bit sarcastic ... ;)

------
fredley
Taught this kind of stuff in India for a while for a company providing phone
support. It's not just "thank you", it's also "please" and "sorry" \- both are
considered rude/inappropriate outside of certain settings. There's a huge
difference in etiquette that is a cause of frustration on phone calls
(particularly for support). Both sides are (usually) trying to be polite, but
perceive the other side as being very rude. This is one of the main reasons
(of about a half a dozen) that cause support calls to go sour.

------
codeN
Come to think of it, in India I have almost never really "thanked" many among
my family, but have done it for almost everybody else, and often I have found
a compliment works in places where a thanks might seem too formal. Saying "I
had an amazing time at your place and will miss the food" carries the sense of
gratitude without the sense of formality in India.

------
makeitsuckless
Although not as extreme as in this example, the American custom of saying
"thank you" and "please" all the time is considered excessive to the point of
being insultingly trite by many cultures.

And I regularly hear Americans complain about people from other cultures being
impolite because they don't say "thank you" or "please" all the time.

AFAIK in most cultures these kind of phrases are generally more formal and
tend to signal a certain distance that in the wrong context can be interpreted
as condescending.

------
bitwize
In America we are conditioned with a moral duty to be appreciative for what we
have and how fortunate we are. It probably stems from the religious nature of
some of the early colonies, which religion was Calvinist in nature and big on
divine providence, and how it is only by the whim of God that you have a roof
over your head, food on the table, a supportive family, etc. We set aside an
entire day -- Thanksgiving -- for expressing gratitude and in practical terms
that's stretched over a four-day weekend.

------
StavrosK
In Greece, saying "please" can sound condescending. You pretty much want to
avoid saying please, and politeness comes from the phrasing. "Can you bring me
a glass of water" is the polite version of "bring me a glass of water",
although the latter is also usually made polite by adding "re" (to friends) or
adding "a bit" ("bring me a glass of water for a bit", it doesn't translate
well).

Saying "please" to anyone you're even slightly familiar with would be at least
weird, and in many cases condescending and offputting.

"Thanks" is somewhere between the US and India, where you don't thank everyone
all the time, but do thank people who've done you a favor, or in service
settings, people who have been good to you (good servers/shopkeepers/etc).

~~~
harperlee
In spain we have a mix of both; although it is very normal to say it
formulaically to e.g. a shop clerk, we are also very often very direct and
don't use it, just using tone or phrasing - and foreigners (including spanish-
speaking ones) are usually shocked by how rude we seem to be.

~~~
StavrosK
I've found that Greek translates pretty much exactly to Spanish (culturally
and linguistically), so I just say "puedes traerme <x>" or, at most, "quisiera
un <x>".

------
mythealias
Similar to the cultural difference when Russians do not smile [1].

[1]: [http://www.russianlife.com/blog/why-dont-russians-
smile/](http://www.russianlife.com/blog/why-dont-russians-smile/)

------
darklajid
Over here in Germany we even had an optional 'Cultural differences' workshop
you could participate in, which discussed things - both for Germans and for
people from the US, the presenter was from the US - that might seem awkward at
first.

The ~social fillwords~ were on the list. Lots of thank you / you're welcome
plus the really irritating 'How are you?' variations.

Wouldn't you find these differences between any culture though? Is
Hindi/Indian vs. English/US especially surprising?

~~~
toothbrush
> Lots of ... irritating 'How are you?' variations.

Pity that. I frequently ask people "how are you" at the beginning of a
conversation, and it's very often ignored on the assumption that i'm using a
formula, but i am usually genuinely curious ask to what's up, trying to get
them to say something about themselves since the last time we spoke. Pity this
idiom has suffered inflation, perhaps i should think of another to replace it.

~~~
Retra
I hate it when people ask "how are you." Because I don't want to drop whatever
I'm thinking about and start thinking about what you've asked, which is
something that doesn't require any urgent attention.

It's like asking someone to retie their shoes every time you talk to them. So
you'll get "I'm fine" because the question is meant to be dismissed quickly,
not dwelled upon.

------
jonathonf
In other news, different cultures are different.

------
dudul
“Thank you for coming to my home” actually meant, “It’s time for you to get
out of my house.”

Seriously? Find new friends. When I thank people after hosting an event I do
mean to thank them for choosing to spend their time with me. I feel like this
post is blently dishonest and caricaturing just to tell a nice story.

~~~
jpatokal
I think you're reading a bit too much into that. If you're at a social event,
when do you hear "Thank you so much for coming" from the host? Usually when
you're leaving, or as the writer says, when it's time for you to leave.

~~~
dudul
But usually the host won't say that until the guests have made it clear that
they are on their way out.

\- "Honey, we should probably go" \- "Well, thank you both for coming"

I have never attended a social event where the host would say "thank you for
coming, see you soon" out of the blue.

------
hliyan
There's a similar problem with my native language[1] and "sorry". The standard
word, _samaavenna_ literally means "forgive me". As a former British Colony
(Sri Lanka) most of us have got used to the English words -- even non-English
speakers will automatically say "sorry" or "thank you".

But once "thank you" is said, most people awkwardly respond with "ah", because
there's no phrase in the language for "you're welcome".

Come to think of it, we don't even have a universal second person (a "you").
You need to know the social standing of the person before you can address
him/her!

[1]:
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinhalese_language](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinhalese_language)

~~~
linuxydave
>But once "thank you" is said, most people awkwardly respond with "ah",
because there's no phrase in the language for "you're welcome".

In London I've noticed that instead of saying, "you're welcome" people prefer
to say "no worries", which is far more casual. I don't know why that phrase
started to be used but if I had to give a guess I'd say that it was out of
awkwardness because there wasn't a less formal/personal response to use.

~~~
hliyan
I've heard Australians say "no worries" (often with a trailing "mate") a lot.
I always thought it originated there.

~~~
danieltillett
As an Australian I can say that "no worries" is very common here (ocker). It
has a bit of an ambiguous meaning as it implies that the person saying thank
you didn't really need to, but at the same time it is a means of acknowledging
that you recognise and appreciate the thank you.

------
kalari
India is a more hierarchical society in general, and one doesn't feel the need
to thank the servile class for services rendered. Outside family and close
circle of friends, a "thank you" can lubricate social interactions.

------
chrisBob
In the military you will often hear "Don't thank me. The government thanks me
twice a month." So there are parts of american culture where these
pleasantries are less common.

~~~
icebraining
Twice a month? I assume that's the paycheck, but seems like a weird schedule.

~~~
chrisBob
I think the standard was to be paid on the 1st and the 15th, but you could opt
for one monthly pay check if you had trouble saving for rent with the twice a
month schedule.

I never really thought about it. Are weekly or monthly that much more common?

~~~
icebraining
I'm not from the US, and I've never heard of anyone paid biweekly, that's why
I found it weird.

According to the US Bureau of Labour Statistics, it's actually the most common
schedule over there: [http://www.bls.gov/opub/btn/volume-3/how-frequently-do-
priva...](http://www.bls.gov/opub/btn/volume-3/how-frequently-do-private-
businesses-pay-workers.htm)

~~~
umanwizard
Out of curiosity, how often is it standard to be paid where you are from?

I've been paid twice monthly, and monthly. I also know of people being paid
weekly.

~~~
icebraining
Here in Portugal, almost everyone I know is paid monthly. Even the person who
comes to my house weekly to clean asks to be paid once a month.

The only people I can think of who have a non-monthly regular pay schedule
(not paid per job like freelancers) are door-to-door salespeople and mail ads
deliverers.

------
mtmr
This is not specific to Hindi speaking people. Even here in South India,
Saying you Thank you is usually considered an insult as mentioned in the
article.

------
gdy
It's about the same in Russia (well, as far as I can tell by looking at my
friends and relatives), to the lesser degree perhaps, but the same.

------
bbgm
This is partly in line with my experiences. It's more subtle than it comes
across in the article. I've thanked servers, taxi drivers, and others, but
don't recall thanking a bus driver.

I have thanked my parents and they've never had issues. However, in general
thanking elders is considered bad form, but asking them or appreciating their
blessing isn't. Is that very different?

~~~
laex
Interesting. It's quite common in Australia to thank the bus drivers.

~~~
NeutronBoy
Yeah it might just be a habit, but I say thank-you to heaps of 'service'
workers - just a simple 'Thanks mate' when I get off the bus, or get my
coffee, etc. Why wouldn't you? I mean, I know it's their job, but you can
still be polite about it.

------
asgard1024
This reminds of what David Graeber said about debt:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZIINXhGDcs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZIINXhGDcs)

He mentions that historically, cultures tried to keep people indebted to each
other, and not settle the debt as is in fashion now. The reason was to keep
people doing favors to each other.

------
bgilroy26
It looks like "shukriyaa" (शुक्रिया) is a way of saying 'thanks' in situations
where formality is inappropriate. Can anyone confirm/deny?

[http://wikihow.com/Say-Thank-You-in-Hindi](http://wikihow.com/Say-Thank-You-
in-Hindi)

~~~
sumedh
Well atleast in Metros even if you are speaking in Hindi, you usually say
thank you instead of "shukriyaa".

Pretty much everyone in Indian metro cities understands simple English words
like Hi, Hello, OK, Bye, Thank you.

Coming back to your question then yes "shukriyaa" can be used instead of
"thanks". "shukriyaa" is less formal than "dhanyavaad"

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z02d
I asked some friends from Indian (Jaipur, Pune, Delhi) and they do not confirm
this.

~~~
saiprashanth93
It is not exactly a hard and fast rule, its more like a behavioral pattern
where you don't thank the people you are really close to for little things. If
you say it, you generally say it like you mean it and not for everyday things.

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msie
As people say (more eloquently) in the comments, he's just wrong assuming that
people in America say "Thank You" just to end a transaction. But it makes for
a better narrative, doesn't it?

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ekianjo
I don't understand the big insight that's supposed to be in this article.
About every country uses "thank you" in a different way. Like what, they
discovered cultural differences?

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dennisgorelik
> “Thank you for coming to my home” actually meant, “It’s time for you to get
> out of my house.”

That's a good observation.

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pknerd
Ok! So I was a fool felt happy seeing a "Thankyou" message after every
transaction or signup :/

Well, thank you!

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notNow
My two cents:

Usually, acting very polite and formal in informal settings could send the
wrong message to people around you from certain cultures as it would be
interpreted as the speaker establishing barriers between him/her and the rest
and that he/she views them as strangers not as friends which is totally off-
putting.

The problem manifests actually in formal settings where some cultures don't
have these "lubricants" such as "thanks, please ..etc" in place to ease
everyday situations. So, when you expect a simple "thank you" like for helping
someone on the street as a small gesture of gratitude towards you and you
don't get it, you don't really know exactly if they're being deliberately rude
to you and sending their message very clear or they're just being "natural"
and "easygoing" i.e. being themselves.

You can't really tell and it's just a reckless form of gambling to take
offense at their acts. So, I just give them the benefit of the doubt and
assume no malice intended.

Lastly and I speak only from my observations and experiences, some Indians are
"obtuse" for the lack of a better word and it seems that most of the social
cues that you expect to be interpreted very easily by everyone are completely
lost on them but from what I understand now, these people usually come from
rural areas and lower socio-economic backgrounds.

So, you basically should not really put too much thought into their processes.
That's how they've been raised and therefore are products of their
environment. Just move on!

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notNow
Just to add something, in our culture Egyptian that is, we mostly behave and
act like Americans when it comes to these forms of courtesy.

We expect people to exchange (Shukran: Thanks), (Afwan: Welcome), (Lao
samahet: please) and so on and so forth in these situations and the lack of
them in certain contexts could be interpreted by some folks in certain cases
as rudeness and hostility shown toward them.

However, we don't take it to the extreme like Americans would usually do and
just insert these courteous words in every sentence or interaction as it might
be interpreted as a form of snobbery (distancing yourself from people around
you) or fake politeness which is not very tasteful.

Anyway, I just got used to the American way when I'm around Americans and
honestly if it were to me, I would take excessive courtesy over the lack
thereof or plain rudeness any given day but that's just me.

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nitred
I'm from India and I completely get what the author is saying, but why is this
article on 'Hacker News'?

~~~
saiprashanth93
Hacker News, in spite of the name which implies only content related to
programming does have article does are appealing to sensible and curious
souls.

