

What's a great relationship book/guide - nato1138

I have been very pleased with HN community in book recommendations. I got some great tips on personal finance, time management etc. Can HN suggest an incredible book for relationships? (specifically for marriage and such).
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tokenadult
Feeling Good Together by David D. Burns, which is primarily about the
relationships you ask about, but generalizes to all interpersonal
relationships, including work and such. My wife and I have both found it
helpful for gaining new insight into our twenty-eight-year relationship.

[http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Together-Troubled-
Relatio...](http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Together-Troubled-
Relationships/dp/0767920821/)

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revorad
I believe the Gottmans have done some very good research on marriage -
<http://www.gottman.com/>.

[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGottmanInstitute#p/u/3/LLXX8w...](http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGottmanInstitute#p/u/3/LLXX8wzvT7c)

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rick_2047
No offense intended, but I don't think reading a book can help you with a
relationship. I am not saying that all the relationship coaches are fraudulent
but I just prefer to stick to one advice given to me by who knows whom.

 _"Talk"_

It seems in todays culture, especially the busy lives of people in USA, people
tend to forget the importance of personal interaction. I know people stay "in
contact" using things like facebook, twitter or some other social networking
sites, but its just not the same (or _I_ don't know how to use them). The
personal presence give it the more human touch. When you are with someone you
can hold there hands, smell there perfume, actually hear them laugh (totally
different from "lol" or "ha ha ha"), get lost in their beautiful eyes, give
them a high five or chase them around if you are feeling childish. I don't
know how people tend to forget one of the basic human instincts i.e of
interaction.

While on the other hand social networking sites are also a means to stay in
touch. Tell them when you were thinking about them and couldn't reach them.
Just tweet sweet nothing to them. Or update on your facebook wall telling
everyone how lonely you are feeling away.

I do not hold a degree in social interactions, nor do I have a life time of
experience in such things (I am just 19), but one thing I am sure of,
_talking_ is the best way to manage a relation ship. You can read volumes and
volumes of self help guides but when and if you grow tired of it just take the
hand of your wife, sit down on your bed and just talk....

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ScottWhigham
Wow - a new low on HN. Here we have a never-been-married 19yo who just gave
four paragraphs of advice to someone asking for marriage advice.

The fact that you think you should be offering such advice just shows either
(a) a complete lack of social skills, (b) a self-belief that is completely
whacko, and/or (c) a complete disregard for what life experience brings to the
table.

I'd normally have led this with, "No offense..." but since you are 19 and are
offering marital advice, you probably should get upset; maybe it will
eventually lead to to you objectively look back and say to yourself, "WTF was
I thinking responding to that guy? I'm 19 years old and have never been
married."

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rick_2047
Umm... First of all when I say no offense intended, I mean it. Nobody will
waste there whole life on a book which is not worth much and those books can
never be best sellers like these. And I would just like to clarify on a few
things here

1) I wasn't giving specific advice on marriage, as mentioned in my post I am
too young to give it. Go through the post again and see its a very general
one. It works with any relationship be it with your girl/boyfriend, your
mother, you son talking just works I think.

2) It wasn't exactly an advise per se, it was actually an observation (may be
my post was wrongly worded).

3) I really don't get how can one be wacko in believing that by talking you
can ease out a relationship.

4) In no way I disregarded the life experience of anyone. I just wanted to
bring to the table what many of people holding _life experience_ had brought
to my attention.

I really didn't see why you had to rip my post apart. A more polite response
was possible, and if this is the way you went about talking I can see why
talking didn't work for you, some offense intended.

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nato1138
thanks for the recommendations, HN. I actually agree that 'talking' is key,
but my relationship get's stuck when talking doesn't prove to be enough ;)

