
Our Open-Plan Office Failed, So We’re Moving to a Towering Panopticon (2017) - carrozo
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our-open-plan-office-failed-so-were-moving-to-a-towering-panopticon
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cromulent
For context:

"The panopticon is a type of institutional building and a system of control
designed by the English philosopher and social theorist Jeremy Bentham in the
18th century. The concept of the design is to allow all prisoners of an
institution to be observed by a single security guard, without the inmates
being able to tell whether they are being watched."

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panopticon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panopticon)

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xtracto
This got me to think... even inmates have better privacy than it workers in
their day life. Why can a prison have "cubicles" for 1 or 2 people but an
engineer earning 150k a year can't?

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baud147258
Because inmates live and sleep there, whereas engineer (usually) go home at 5
pm? And the engineer can also just hand his resignation, doing the same thing
in prison is slightly more complicated.

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dredmorbius
Resigning to work in another cattle-pen, or none at all (not working), isn't
much choice.

(There are a few who have the option of remote work. It's a _very_ few.)

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methou
I feel strangely satisfying to see articles like these. Soon after I feel
comfortable at my new work, it constantly agonizes me working in an open-plan
office. It took me a while to overcome the feeling that I'm always
broadcasting my screen to the entire company. And the colleagues who want "a
second of your time" would no longer send emails, they come directly at you!
Worst of all, when people were simply passing by, but you feel that they are
coming for you.

At last, I find out that our new office is still an open floor, I should just
quit already

~~~
generatorguy
I am currently one of two people working out of a 2000 sq ft office unit with
5 or 7 offices, boardroom bathroom, kitchen. It’s for sale so probably going
to get the boot in 6 months but until then it is ideal.

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jackyinger
This is pretty great. I gotta admit the horribly undirected layout of my
work’s cafeteria leads me to fantasize about authoritarian architecture.

Someone should write something that more obviously lampoons the digital
surveillance of employees that is commonplace within corporations.

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quxbar
This is so spot on it hurts. Get out while you can! I switched from tech
startups to consulting and have never been happier.

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philipov
I also do consulting, but the clients whose offices I visit still have open
plan offices :p

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flukus
Yeah, if you think it's bad in tech you should see what it's like in companies
with less highly paid, less valued employees, especially in jobs that actually
do benefit from constant collaboration.

~~~
solotronics
In one of our colo buildings there is a call center for some online pet
company. They not only have an open office plan they have fully transparent
glass walls all the way around the outside of their office space! You can
watch everyone at once even from outside. It's weird. Even more authoritarian
is the multiple armed guards and the obvious undisguised metal detector at the
front door. I think the management there is dreaming of a similar level of
control as a North Korean party leader.

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jedberg
> What else will be in Synergon besides our workspace?

> There will be a Jamba Juice.

This was so ridiculously on point.

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keanebean86
I was thinking we could do rows of Stadium seats like this: |\\\\\| You can
use the back of the person below you as a desk. Managment woild have the last
row since it has extra room.

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mlthoughts2018
The best parts for me are the non-answers about Nest and Cell. And also
referring to corporate surveillance as “compassionately evaluating your flow
state.” Somebody read the dexterity with symbols chapter of Moral Mazes :)

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newsbinator
> Will I be able to see you in Nest, watching me work?

> No. Nest will be coated in one-way mirrored glass. And we are not “watching
> you,” we are compassionately evaluating your flow state.

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throwawayjava
You know what? Sound-proof prison cells sound great.

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40four
Was not familiar with McSweeney's before. This is hilarious! I will have to
check out more

~~~
prawn
This might be a good starting point:
[https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-50-most-read-
mcsween...](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-50-most-read-mcsweeneys-
internet-tendency-articles-of-all-time)

This is one of the all-time classics though:
[https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-
sea...](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-
motherfuckers)

~~~
cafard
Fond of [https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/alternatives-to-
resting-...](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/alternatives-to-resting-
bitch-face)

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hyfgfh
> What will we wear then? > Cool jumpsuits! Each suit has a unique
> configuration of colored bubbles serving as your team member identifier.

In Japan people use salaryman uniform, available in the color blue and white!

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ncmncm
McSweeney's never fails to deliver.

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carrolldunham
A good satire of dystopian, anti-human 'design' ideology but... the sidebar
promoting something that features HumansOfFlat design (visual newspeak)... is
part of the satire right? 'iLLUSTORiA' is reading material in the Cells?

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jsjsbsgh
I'd take it over an opem office if it's sound/germ proof and has free food.

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King-Aaron
> This sounds terrifying and dystopian. Is it?

> No.

That's me sold then!

