
Who marries who - cfarm
https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2016-who-marries-whom/
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magneticnorth
This is fascinating, thanks for sharing.

It's especially interesting that female software developers seem to marry
other devs, whether they're gay or straight, but gay male software devs tend
to marry fitness workers.

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gorkonsine
It's interesting, but it doesn't surprise me one bit. It's exactly like what
the article posits: that women marry equal or up, and men don't care that
much. Obviously, it doesn't matter if the men are gay or straight; in both
cases, they're quite likely to marry someone with a much lower-paying career.

Also, the premise that women only want to marry up (or equal) really explains
why I see so many women on the dating sites in the DC area with high-powered
careers (their positions are frequently shown right on their photo in Tinder),
who seem to be perpetually single and whose profiles I see over and over.
They're obviously not interested in me because 1) I'm a software engineer:
software engineering is not seen as a prestigious career at all in this
country, despite the pay, and 2) I don't have an advanced degree; many women
are degree snobs and won't date someone who didn't go to an Ivy League or
doesn't have a Masters or PhD, even though I likely make as much or maybe more
money.

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morgtheborg
I think it makes quite a bit of sense if you're at all interested in having
children and staying home with them for any amount of years to worry about the
income of your partner. That description tends to apply more to females than
males. Pick your poison.

Personally, I know I've prioritized dating men who are willing to stay home
themselves since I don't like the idea of being a stay-at-home mom.

Anyway, just seems rational.

~~~
gorkonsine
>I think it makes quite a bit of sense if you're at all interested in having
children and staying home with them for any amount of years to worry about the
income of your partner.

Sure it does, but these days very few women stay home for that long (out of
women with well-paying careers). Also, more importantly, there's nothing
stopping women with high-paying careers from marrying lesser-earning men and
letting them stay at home with the kids, but as these statistics clearly show,
women are simply not doing that: they're demanding partners who make at least
as much as they do. (And they seem to be failing at finding such partners, and
are then just staying single, and frequently (in my observation) going to a
sperm clinic and getting artificially inseminated and intentionally becoming
single mothers and hiring nannies to raise their kids.)

>Personally, I know I've prioritized dating men who are willing to stay home
themselves since I don't like the idea of being a stay-at-home mom.

That's great, but you seem to be a rare exception. Very few women seem to be
thinking that rationally, as shown by these statistics.

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sn
> That's great, but you seem to be a rare exception. Very few women seem to be
> thinking that rationally, as shown by these statistics.

There's no causation shown this data. It takes two parties to be in a
relationship and you have no reason to assume that it's primarily the woman
making that choice.

If you want another anecdote, I've been dumped after disclosing I made more
than my partner.

~~~
gorkonsine
There's really no way to know without doing an extensive survey/study, but
from what I've seen personally in the dating market, I think it's more a case
of high-status-career women being overly picky than them running into too many
men who refuse to date them because they earn too much. I'm sorry, but if
you're 35+, you just can't expect Mr. (or Mrs.) Perfect; those people are
already taken, and were off the market sometime in their 20s, probably even in
college. The statistics here clearly show women rarely earning more than their
husbands, and given how liberal people in large cities (where these high-
earning women live) are, I refuse to believe, until I see better evidence,
that this is just because of male chauvinism. I have personally seen _far_ too
many profiles from these women who specifically say they won't (or are
hesitant to) date men without an Ivy-League and/or non-graduate degree, for
instance. If you're going to be that snobbish and picky, then no wonder you're
still single (esp. these days when women outnumber men in universities, 60%
vs. 40%). Believe what you want, but your singular anecdote about one
experience with one single man vs. my anecdata about many dozens of women
posting their requirements right in their public dating profiles makes me
believe I'm right. Moreover, your singular anecdote is easily countered with
my own: I have no trouble dating a woman who makes more, yet I've never had
any luck dating such a woman, even in a city that's infamous for having a
surplus of single women. (FWIW, I'm now dating someone with a good job, but
she makes less than me. Honestly, I'd prefer if she made more but I don't make
it a requirement in any way, that's just how it worked out.) Of course, you
can claim there's something deficient about me, or that I'm aiming too high,
but similar can be said of you or the guy who dumped you; a single data point
just isn't that useful. But seeing common trends on dozens or hundreds of
dating profiles, IMO, is much more so.

As for women primarily making the choice, that's true. Go look at OKC's data:
women get FAR more unsolicited messages than men, that's a simple fact. The
person who has more options has more power.

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wgj
previous conversation:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11081575](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11081575)

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jjtheblunt
who marries whom?

