
Help My Boyfriend Is an Internet Troll (Part 1) - JacobRoberts
http://www.modernromantix.com/2016/04/02/help-my-boyfriend-is-an-internet-troll-part-1/
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ikeboy
Ironically, this is probably fake. Reddit doesn't send emails for comment
replies, or for anything, pretty much. (There's newsletters, and password
reset, but nothing consistent with how it's described.)

This sounds like what someone would write if they were making something up
rather than a genuine story.

Also, the NYT is pretty well moderated, you wouldn't get away with trolling
there, I think.

~~~
gist
Ironic can be called story trolling then.

Not sure that it matters even if it is real though.

It's close enough to what you believe might happen. I see many more things
that are even much clearer in terms of potentially being made up (even posted
here on HN frequently) [1] that it reminds me of back in the day contests to
see who could get 'Dear Abby' to answer some letter (that was something that
was done by college students many many years ago).

[1] Always the same theme "here is something shitty that happened to me don't
they suck what should I do".

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gist
This is very interesting writing but it's a "so what".

What if she had found out that her boyfriend fantasizes about other women that
he sees? [1] If trolling (and I don't like that term btw) makes him happy in
some way, then what is wrong with that? It's not a drug habit or that type of
"addiction". It's not overeating. It's not harming small pets or children.
(Ditto for fantasies). I say "better that than some other potentially harmful
things.

My wife doesn't know that I comment here. I am sure she might view it as a
waste of time and laugh at me. But I don't know what she does that might be
equivalent. I don't know how she spends here day (and I don't want to know).
If people do something that is relatively harmless why does it need to be
criticized? Troll is a very loose term anyway. A way of putting someone down
often and painting them in a bad light (same way eccentric paints a rich
person in a good light vs. "crazy").

[1] Because you know that he does that and she probably does as well (about
men that is) it's the type of thing that people typically keep secret. Ditto
for viewing porn. She wouldn't be happy (neither would I) but really why does
this matter?

~~~
femngi
It's concerning because it reveals something about the way he views other
people. There's an old saying that you should carefully watch how your date
treats the waiting staff because that is how they will treat you one day.

The fact that Internet trolling has become commonplace doesn't make it
acceptable. I don't say that just because it damages the emotions of the
victim but because it tends to warp the minds of those that perpetrate it.

To the OP I would say that she should be extremely careful in trying to tackle
this herself which is what she sounds like she is trying to do. I wish the
best for both her and Chris.

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sschueller
He asked a random girl out in the middle of the street. How does a personality
with over confidence like that conflict with an internet troll's personality?

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davewhat
google cache:
[http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://...](http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://www.modernromantix.com/2016/04/02/help-
my-boyfriend-is-an-internet-troll-part-1/)

------
Kenji
_Whenever I’ve imagined these trolls, I’ve always envisioned balding, middle-
aged men sitting in their mom’s basement and snickering as they stir up
trouble on the random websites. Or maybe skinny, teenagers and /or college
students with acne busting out all over their forehead, patting themselves on
the back and feeling superior to all the stupid internet people who fall for
their prank._

 _He is not balding. He is not socially awkward._

Whoa whoa. Why the hate against skinny or balding or middle-aged men? Those
are perfectly decent people.

And why does she consider the trolling of her boyfriend like being cheated on?
That's a complete non-sequitur, he is not your slave, he is your boyfriend.
Wow, he did something she did not know in his spare time. Big deal. What a
self-made problem.

~~~
gist
She is building him up in her brain as someone that he's not. Similar to what
people do with those they respect in authority positions or very accomplished.
"Wow look at the way that Paul Graham gets yelled at by his mother that's so
surprising!".

Also I think you have to separate the "balding middle age" from those that
"are middle age that live in Mom's basement".

Living in Mom's basement whether middle aged or not (regardless of hair loss)
is probably makes you (except if there are mitigating circumstances) what we
would perhaps call "a loser". Otoh it's clear that being middle aged and bald
is literally meaningless in terms of what you have achieved and something you
have no control over (unlike having to live in your mom's basement except if
there are mitigating circumstances). [1]

Now notice I said "mitigating circumstances" so yes there are valid reasons
why someone might have to live with their mother (at any point) but as a
generality if you were taking a 100 people like that not the case.

[1] Notice even with this that if your mom was wealthy and she had an estate
and you lived in a big house with a wing of your own (or an outhouse) it
wouldn't be viewed the same way but perhaps even with a halo around it. So
specifically here the issues is "basement" or "ordinary house bedroom" that
causes the deprecation of the individual (as well as the age).

Edit: Explanation of downvotes would be appreciated.

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cynical_sheet
'Troll' seems to be a name for someone whose opinions you disagree with. Since
internet is a huge echo chamber, any sign of contrary opinion is seen as
trolling (like 'Are you serious?' or 'This guy must be trolling'). Calling
someone a 'troll' is a psychological defense mechanism where a person is
trying to use a label (i.e. do ad hominem) instead of rethinking their
beliefs, which is hard to do.

~~~
noobermin
An overused meme: "Trolling used to mean something" specifically, it meant
baiting people into flamewars/arguments that the troll didn't necessarily
agree with, but which provoked a response that gave them their fun. If we
trust the author's opinion of their boyfriend, then he is probably doing just
that, using hyperbole to troll people online.

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clevernickname
Help I Violated My Boyfriend's Privacy

