
The share of Americans not having sex has reached a record high - 40acres
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/03/29/share-americans-not-having-sex-has-reached-record-high
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LyndsySimon
This is an interesting graph - the proportion of men aged 18-30 who were
celibate for the past year doubled in the past decade:
[https://www.washingtonpost.com/resizer/Qalq8rTTOBvGnlWtfAt_R...](https://www.washingtonpost.com/resizer/Qalq8rTTOBvGnlWtfAt_RiXagMo=/480x0/arc-
anglerfish-washpost-prod-
washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/4C7SSBIXSNFCLOJIGCWUOKDYTY.png)

My first thought is that the “incel” crowd will grab on to this, and I wonder
if they have a point. My next immediate thought is to wonder if the online
social networks that have risen catering to that group might actually be the
causative factor - men who feel unable to attract a partner instead find some
level of companionship in these groups, creating a self-reinforcing cycle.

I suspect the answer is a bit of both, though. Tech has likely had a profound
impact on the dating scene for this generation, and it likely _is_ more
difficult for less attractive men to find companionship.

For the purposes of disclosure, I’m a 36-year-old male who met his wife at 14
and married her at 21. My experiences are atypical for my generation, and I
feel like I see these issues from an external perspective.

~~~
threatofrain
There are roughly as many men per women per age cohort, no? That implies that
some people are just too restrictive in their attractions.

~~~
captainredbeard
Unattractive men aren’t entitled to anything, sorry. I don’t think the numbers
mean people are too restrictive. Honestly, I’m surprised it’s not more
polarized.

~~~
dictum
Disclaimers: I have no sympathy for the plight of the incel community, and
anyone who even jokingly desires forced/unwanted relationships or rape
deserves way worse than just ostracism.

Still, I take issue with how the word _entitlement_ weaves itself into such
debates. What is due is due — how much a certain group yearns for it, or
doesn't, is a distraction from whether the group should be granted its desire.
It comes with an awful implication, which incels weaponize, that men who are
having sex constantly _are okay_ , possibly because they don't feel entitled
to it.

This raises nonchalance to a virtue. It simply convinces incels they should
become more like the misogynists (like them) who, unlike them, are getting
laid. It makes them want to have the eyes of a successful rapist [0]

Nobody is entitled to anything. What few human rights we have were established
through social consensus — sometimes as a concession to prevent wider unrest.
Sex isn't a human right (though the choice to have it consensually is), mental
health is.

[0]:
[https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wyndham_Lewis#Quotes_about_W...](https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wyndham_Lewis#Quotes_about_Wyndham_Lewis)

~~~
0815test
Sex is not a human right, but a _reasonable_ pursuit of sex, relationships,
marriage etc. very much is. Entitlement has no legitimate place in such a
pursuit, simply because it incredibly counterproductive. There's a very real
dynamic where being nonchalant about these things makes you more likely to be
successful at them, and we shouldn't be dismissing it so quickly.

~~~
krapp
>Entitlement has no legitimate place in such a pursuit, simply because it
incredibly counterproductive.

Entitlement has no place in such a pursuit because entitlement implies a right
of ownership, but a human being is not an abstract concept like "liberty" or
"happiness" or an inanimate object like a plot of land that lacks agency or
can be owned by another person.

No one, regardless of gender, stats or status, is entitled to _anything_ in
regards to a relationship with other people. Certainly not to sex.

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rhcom2
Seems like a pretty obvious symptom of increasing loneliness and isolation.

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makecheck
There could be economic and government factors here. Almost any form of birth
control or medical procedure costs money (and kids _really_ do), while many
people are trying to just pay rent and eat. And governments seem to have
been...motivated...to interfere as much as they can in matters of sex,
abortion rights, etc.

~~~
throwaway808080
Yeah actively going against birth control is the dumbest thing a country can
do. I’m talking about some US states that are still backward.

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jammygit
When you're as busy as everyone is now, who has time? Can barely keep up with
everything as it is.

Luckily I'm already married, but it would be a problem otherwise.

~~~
Waterluvian
Yup. Pretty sure I had far more sex 15-19 than 20-32. Jobs and school and
marriage and kids. I think sex and intimacy are critical to the health of my
marriage and yet we struggle to make the time.

~~~
throwaway808080
Kids eat most of your time, that you’re too exhausted to do anything other
than sleep.

I’m pretty sleep deprived since our baby was born. Averaging about 6 hours of
sleep a day, with interruptions every 2 hours.

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watwut
I like how cultural panic over people and especially youngsters being too
causal with sex and having too much of it flopped directly to cultural panic
over people and especially youngsters not having enough sex.

~~~
_rpd
I think editors just demand a certain percentage of "X having sex Y" headlines
for traffic purposes, and leave it up to the writer to fill in X and Y so that
the headline can be justified.

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captainredbeard
Sad

