
Ask HN: How do I (a bad developer) turn my career around? - zoospara
I&#x27;ve been skating by for about 5 years now, basically just by the skin of my teeth avoiding termination at every job I&#x27;ve ever had.  I&#x27;m never able to keep up with the information that&#x27;s constantly being thrown at me, never sure what questions to ask to get where I need to be, and I never know how to approach a problem because every domain just feels so complex and overwhelming.  I&#x27;ve tried taking notes, implementing my own features, and learning outside of work.  Every time I start a project I have to go back to the Hello World doc for whatever framework&#x2F;language I&#x27;m implementing it in.  It&#x27;s hard to recall even the simplest things sometimes.  I write JS every day and a week ago I forgot how to use the .map function that I&#x27;ve used a thousand times.  I&#x27;ve accepted the fact that my brain is just not wired for software development.  I&#x27;ve been told for years that it&#x27;s just imposter syndrome but now that I&#x27;m up against the wall at work, I know it&#x27;s not true.  I am about 80% certain I&#x27;m not going to make it through my current job.  I have a feeling I will likely not last another month.  Where do I go from here?
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JohnFen
> I've accepted the fact that my brain is just not wired for software
> development.

Whether your brain is wired for it or not (and I do believe that it takes a
certain type of person to be good at it), that you've actually accepted this
as truth speaks volumes.

Perhaps the thing to do is find another specialty? The software development
field is vast, with many specialties inside of it. Web development, embedded
systems, business software, etc. It could be that you'd thrive in one of those
specialties. Or it could be that you're in the wrong profession altogether.

My advice (which isn't worth much) is to take stock of yourself. Being
painfully honest, list out what your skills are, what your interests are, and
what things and environments you can't stand. Then start looking for either a
software specialty that corresponds well with your list, or an entirely
different field that does.

I'd also recommend visiting with a career counselor for help with this
process. Your community college very likely has some available.

------
Mac_McMeans
There could easily be much more going on here than you acquiescing to your
"brain is just not wired for software development" or "you don’t know the
basics about the stack you’re working with." Frankly, we would need more
information to know.

But in the absence of such, let me read between the lines and infer that
you've been in a continual state of stress for the past five years you
mention. Stress will kill you. Elevated cortisol and adrenaline levels, over a
prolonged period, will seriously mess you up. It will lead to adrenal fatigue,
which affects memory and cognition, etc.

There's not a dev alive who can perform well like that, because you're not
physically digging ditches or laying pipe, you're performing mental work; the
hardest type of work there is.

Now, if you doubt yourself, stop. You know what you can do. And if you don't
know, make the time time now to persuade yourself. This is something you can
control. Same for the stress. It's an internal reaction to external events or
internal thoughts, for the most part. You don't have to react. The pressure
you're feeling is imagined, because it's in your head.

It's the result of limitations you put on yourself to produce outcomes you
don't control. When you focus on the outcome, you begin to expect things out
of your control and that sets you up for failure. But the truth is, you can't
control the outcome. You can only control your attitude, your mindset and your
actions. And once you're content with that, you'll feel much better not trying
to manage things external to you. Those things include what others think about
you personally, how they may assess your skills or job performance, and what
they expect you to produce. All of that is out of. Your. Control.

Software engineering has little to do with memory (how to call that JS map
function) and much more to do with thinking logically (applying the
appropriate function, framework, library or language, in a methodical series
of steps, to the solve the problem at hand). As I've mentioned, nobody is
expected to think logically under continual duress.

If you're truly not adept at software engineering, that's perfectly okay to
admit to yourself and others. But none of that means you cannot begin to be a
proficient software dev, given the opportunity and desire. You'll have to
tackle the stress first. YMMV.

------
Ghjklov
I don't want you to give up. You sound a lot like me, except you were actually
able to prove yourself and get employed doing what you do. If you succeed, you
would be living proof that even living garbage like myself could be successful
somewhere. If you like what you do, despite not being a 1x, 10x, or whatever
programmer, I think you should keep doing your best.

But definitely consider whatever other more qualified people here have to say.

------
Nextgrid
The fact that you go back to a “hello world” tutorial every time suggests me
you don’t know the basics about the stack you’re working with.

I suggest you go back to a junior job to learn more and if they ask about your
story just tell the truth.

Feel feee to get in touch using the email in my profile and we can have a call
to discuss further. Best of luck!

