
Ask HN: 8 figure parents - pinnbert
I&#x27;m an only child with 8 figure net worth aging parents.  Even if they die, I&#x27;m tied to trusts that give me money slowly.  What can I do to make my life interesting?  I&#x27;m very technical and interested in AI, but don&#x27;t have the drive to be an entrepreneur myself.
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gumby
Why not just ignore the money and work like anyone else (not being sarcastic,
being serious). You'll have resources if it all causes problems, or to
modulate around the edges (pay cash for your home, take slightly nicer
vacations than you and your spouse might otherwise have done, have a full time
nanny when the kids are small).

I've sold some companies here in the Valley and I've noticed that the most fun
people to hang out with do the same old stuff as everyone else (scout troops,
poker, skiing, writing code, etc). If you're biking with your buddies does it
matter how much money any of you have? If you have kids they'll be easier to
raise and will themselves have more fun if they're just like their classmates.
Even at Paly (Palo Alto High School) there's a mix of kids whose families have
little (yes, even some getting food stamps) and kids whose parents have
private jets. Don't you want your kids to have the maximum set of possible
friends? If you live it, they will too.

I sent my kid to private school (for certain specific reasons) and the worse
part of selecting a school was finding one without the snotty factor.

~~~
sh87
Take this chance, take some risks that others cannot. You'll make great
friends in the process and equally formidable enemies. There are a lot of real
problems to be solved like housing, food, transportation, fighting
exploitation, building things cheaper, etc. These don't need a lot of
innovation that isn't there already. They need slightly deeper pockets ( that
you have ) and a lot of courage that is derived from purpose (which you will
find as you get out). As long as money isn't your sole and immediate purpose,
there's a lot that you can do.

------
gyardley
I'm having trouble seeing how your parents' net worth is relevant here. If
you're interested in AI, you get a job with an AI company or you study AI in
school, same as anybody else.

I'm guessing that none of that sounds appealing, though, or you'd already be
doing it / wouldn't be asking this question. My guess is you're kind of like
me - because you're in a good place economically, you don't have a lot of
tolerance for the hard and boring grunt work that goes into intensive study or
challenging jobs, and because of _that_ you're not going to be able to achieve
something awesome.

The solution is to find the thing you love to do so much, it makes the hard
and boring grunt work pleasurable. That thing probably isn't AI, since you've
got a MSc in Computer Science - if your thing really was AI, you'd just be off
doing it. So if I were you, I'd free up as much time as possible and then use
that time to experiment widely. Get an easy job or some unstructured academic
thing to keep your parents happy and then explore whatever catches your eye.
When you find the right thing, I suspect you'll know it.

------
chatmasta
I know lots of people in this situation, including more than a few with "10
figure" parents, and the happiest ones are those who choose to ignore the
money and live a normal life. They might live in nicer apartments, but for the
most part they get the same jobs as their peers and go down the same career
path. If they didn't do that I imagine it could become quite isolating.

If that doesn't interest you, you could start a company or go to school. You
don't have the same pressure to make money that many recent grads do, because
you have a big safety net if you fail. So the risk/reward ratio is higher for
you in startup land.

I don't see why rich parents should change your behavior. Don't you want to be
successful on your own? Or do you just want to wait for an inheritance (read:
wait for both of your parents to die)?

What would your parents think if they read this post?

~~~
pinnbert
Well I know a mid 8 figure only-child family, but don't know or lie about
knowing "10 figure parents".

I'm working and getting a $28k bonus for evading the gift tax--that's fine for
now. My parents would know about that part. I have the pressure to present any
business ideas to my parents, or even the trustee. Video games frankly seem
tempting.

~~~
bottler_of_bees
There is a wide gap between making games, and enjoying them.

Once they're reduced to nuts and bolts and hard work, they become much less
interesting.

~~~
pinnbert
Likely true, although I was referring to playing them.

------
Grustaf
It sounds like you're pretty young, so I definitely don't think you should
consider retiring, or even travelling the world, just yet. Let me tell you
why.

I grew up in a very affluent area in Stockholm, and although my parents were
far from 8 figures, we had it very comfortable. My parents were extremely
strict about not spoiling us, so we got nothing for free. When I was around 15
or so however, my grandmother gave us a tiny inheritance so she could spend
the rest of her money backpacking with a good conscience. Anyway, that very
small amount of money meant that I could take long breaks from university to
travel the world, live in Shaolin, China etc, and I definitely didn't have any
financial motivation to work hard and finish university quickly.

I did have some great experiences, but I ended up never finishing my degree,
despite also being very technical and finding university extremely easy. It
hasn't been a problem for my career, but it has stopped me from pursuing other
goals, such as getting a PhD.

What I'm trying to say is, very few people can handle being even slightly free
from economic constraints without becoming idle, and as nice as idleness may
sound, it's really harmful in the long run. If you're anything like me, you'll
regret it.

I think the best thing you can do is to get a degree, not because you need it
but because learning is interesting. If you're past that stage in your life,
join a startup (such as ours, kitex.tech), your financial freedom means you
don't have to get a second job, you'll be a great addition to any team.

If you really feel the urge, take a year to travel, but be disciplined about
it. But in my experience, travelling, like anything, is much more rewarding
when there's a goal. Better work with something that involves travelling to
exotic locations, than bum around as a directionless backbacker.

------
jasonkester
Imagine how good it would feel to be able to say to your parents:

"It's been really nice to know I'd be taken care of if things didn't work out,
but as it turns out I don't think I'm going to end up needing anything from
you guys. Is it too late to restructure things so that any inheritance skips
me and goes straight into a trust for the grandchildren?"

That's a realistic position that you can get yourself into (it just happens
that the rest of us _need_ to get there). Having the inheritance as a safety
net will actually make it a bit easier, since you'll be able to take a few
more risks, career-wise, or even do some of that entrepreneuring that you
don't seem interested in.

But I think you'll be surprised what it does to your feeling of self worth to
know that you actually accomplished something on your own, rather than just
waiting for a trust to mature.

------
reality_czech
Buy the Winchester Mystery House and start extending it. The haunted house
space is ripe for disruption. Eventually, sell the whole thing to Google as
their newest campus. Then join the board of YC and spend the rest of your days
funding apps that let people send the word "yo" to each other.

------
tlb
Graduate school is wonderful, and AI departments are looking for students.
Grad school made for some of the best years of my life. Eventually you have to
crank out a thesis, but the journey is very rewarding.

~~~
pinnbert
Already have MS computer engineering.

~~~
namlem
So get a doctorate. You could even afford to avoid TAing classes, since you
don't need the money.

~~~
pinnbert
will consider.

------
sprocketonline
I'd recommend taking a look at projects such as 80,000 hours - from their site
"Make the right career choices, and you can help solve the world’s most
pressing problems, as well as have a more rewarding, interesting life."

[https://80000hours.org/](https://80000hours.org/)

~~~
sprocketonline
Somewhere there's the intersection of: (a) what you want to do - i.e. your
interests & 'passions', (b) your skillset, or potential to learn a skillset
(c) worthwhile problem to work on (d) something that will financially support
you; but this is not a concern in your case (e) something that provides you
with dignity, purpose and meaning in life

I like the idea that it's an optimisation problem, to seek something which
achieves these criteria and maximises beneficial impact to society.

------
bottler_of_bees
Down the track, I'd buy a place on
[http://aboardtheworld.com/](http://aboardtheworld.com/) and just network with
others of your ilk. They'll have faced the same challenges and could offer
some good advice I'd suspect.

Otherwise, what are you interested in beyond AI? I see AI as interesting, but
a means to an end. Gardening, for instance, interests me. I would look at ways
of improving crop yield, rehab'ing land etc (perhaps naively), or anything
with a quantifiable goal. The current wealth imbalance of the world interests
me, I'd research ways of coming to terms with that or fixing it :p

~~~
pinnbert
neat link.

------
Inconel
If you don't have to worry about finances and you have the ability to take
time off for yourself, you could always travel the world and meet new people,
explore new cultures. You might end up inadvertently being exposed to
something that you become passionate about. In the worst case scenario, you'll
probably get to experience some incredibly beautiful places.

How do you feel about charitable work? Is it something that would give you
satisfaction? And do you enjoy working with people? I always imagine how great
it would be to have money and be able to make small loans/donations to
entrepreneurs just starting out. I think I would find it equally satisfying to
providing funding for small businesses as much as the next world changing
startup.

Do you have some hobby you really enjoy? Maybe you could start a small
business involved in that as a sort of side job, without the pressure or drive
needed to launch a full time business.

Slightly off topic, but I couldn't even imagine what I would do with that
amount of money. I remember when I first started making $35k-$40k here in LA,
not exactly a low COL area, and I had more money than I knew what to do with.

~~~
pinnbert
In my case, I'd need to convince my parents or trustee to start loaning out
the money. I suppose that makes it a loan or angel arrangement over a
donation. True about small businesses. My dad's mainly into apartments,
commercial real estate, and housing on long term (rented) basis. Myself I work
as a programmer in a small business. More to life than the BIG FOUR or whoever
wants to become the fifth.

------
atmosx
Go around the world in 160 days, spending as less as possible, always using
the cheapest way of transport. You'll figure it out before you get home. Meet
people, talk to them, take some risks, live in the moment.

ps. Don't try to be an entrepreneur, to be yourself, just figure what _you_
want now what _is_ cool. You're the one that gives purpose to a
cause/item/person.

------
Jugurtha
> _aging parents. Even if they die_

When they die. May I suggest you make the most out of the time they have left
and enjoy them while they're still alive. The pursuit of income is one of the
main reasons separating families and you don't have that problem. You can
learn whatever you want to because you don't have the constraints 99% of
people have. You are alive and they are _now_. Cherish these moments for they
are never coming back. Ever.

I'm not being patronizing and I'm doing a whole lot of projecting here. I wish
I knew my parents better. They are still alive, but I wish I had spent more
time with them. Something I am trying to correct.

 _" The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds
left undone."_

~~~
pinnbert
_sniff_

------
utefan001
We would love to have you look into joining our project.

We work from Oregon and Maryland. Currently we are a team of 2.

[https://smartmadre.com/stats](https://smartmadre.com/stats)

~~~
pinnbert
Interesting. I'm aware of angel investing, and appreciate that low investments
can single-handedly push a concept forward.

~~~
utefan001
Project does not need funding, but could use another motivated technical
person. Work on whatever you enjoy. Email is in my profile and on website.

------
leepowers
What are you passionate about? Do that.

The advantage the money gives you is an ability to fail. You can follow your
passion, fall flat on your face, and yet still have stability in your life. So
shoot for the moon.

If you follow this route you will meet fellow travelers who are passionate
about the same thing. Help them out. Encourage them. Find a way to extend that
stability into their lives.

------
afbg2003
Join our startup and work in the AI team! (Assuming you would be able to pass
our interview process)

We won't pay you as you don't need the cash but your life would definitely be
interesting and you would do exciting work.

------
qwrusz
Like everyone else in the same boat (having both the awareness to ask and
enough money to do something about it)... you spend the rest of your life
trying to answer this question.

Good luck.

------
forgottenacc57
Do volunteer charity software development work for some worthy cause.

~~~
pinnbert
Might be something to do if they die.

------
borplk
I'd say forget about the money just live a normal low-stress comfortable life
doing what you enjoy.

------
pinnbert
Thanks--everyone. I don't vote here, but appreciate the thoughts.

------
zump
^ Neal Khosla.

