
Fear of Rejection when Applying to Y Combinator - katm
https://www.hireart.com/blog/fear-of-rejection-when-applying-to-y-combinator/
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crgt
I think there's something to be said for trying to develop a fear of not
failing. It's a little counterintuitive, but simple enough - if you're not
failing at all, you're usually not pushing far enough or risking enough. Hard
to make a mark if that's the case. A little daily practice can help - ask
yourself: have I failed today? Did I give myself a chance to fail by taking a
risk on something today? If too many days go by without a failure it may be
time to re-evaluate your overall approach and the way you look at risk.

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futurist
The way you mentally frame rejection is important. I found Rejection Therapy
[1] to be effective at rewiring the brain's perception of rejection and not be
attached to the outcome.

[1][http://rejectiontherapy.com](http://rejectiontherapy.com)

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xiaoma
My thinking on this kind of thing is that it's the gatekeeper's job to filter
you out, not yours. Don't do it for them.

~~~
larrys
I run into this attitude many times when helping people with negotiation.
Where they are so psyched out they don't even want to attempt to ask for
something. "They will never accept that". To that I say "don't do the
negotiating for someone else that's there job.."

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larrys
It totally amazes me how brainwashing things like this are to young founders
and entrepreneurs on HN.

It sends a message that getting into YC is way to important to miss and if you
don't get accepted you stand little chance of getting anywhere on the startup
scene. Or in life.

I can't imagine this is the spirit that PG and now Sam Altman are interested
in portraying.

YC came about in 2005. There were companies that were formed prior to that
that have been hugely successful. And there have been companies formed after
that that have been successful. Not to mention a whole lot of lifestyle
businesses. There are also many other incubators, mentors, investors, angels
etc.

I think it's really dangerous to get all worked up as if not getting into YC
is pivotal in a non correctable way.

That said I understand the anxiety. But I don't think things like this really
help because they reinforce the implied importance more than anything else.

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esharef
Hi, Thanks for pointing this out. I should probably include something in here
that clearly states: Getting into YC won't make you successful or vice versa.

No, it doesn't matter that much whether you get in, but people still care a
lot and my point was simply to say: It's great to care, but don't let that
fear paralyze you. Just apply and be a bit zen about the outcome either way.

~~~
larrys
Well in case I wasn't clear let me restate my point.

I think it's great and obviously a huge benefit to get into YC, Harvard,
Wharton, or get funded by a top tier VC all of that. Or to marry a beautiful
women, handsome man, someone with money, be an NBA or sports athlete you know
all of that.

What to me is bad is reinforcement of something that makes people feel as if
they are failures and "can't cut the mustard" if they don't get in (or achieve
something).

I don't know if that is even avoidable but wanted to point it out. It kind of
smacks of "penis" envy and/or keeping up with the joneses.

For the record though:

"Getting into YC won't make you successful "

Getting into YC or past any filter is for sure a big benefit. No doubt about
that.

"it doesn't matter that much whether you get in"

It does matter if you get in. Of course it does.

I am acknowledging that in response to you. But I wouldn't write a blog post
saying that because I feel it reinforces a stereotype of halo that I don't
think is helpful. And perhaps becomes a self fulfilling prophecy as well.

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EGreg
First step to mastery: make it safe to fail, in order to take risks over and
over!

Being rejected by YC is completely safe!

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dsugarman
Didn't notice an author name on the blog post. I think you should and will get
rejected many many times early on, and for us I believe it helped us get in to
YC because rejection hardened the team and refined the pitch.

~~~
esharef
Hey, this is Elli from HireArt. I'm the author of the piece. Agreed that
rejection actually helps you get closer to your team and figure out what
you're really building

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loladesoto
The wartime CEO lets the war define the culture. —Ben Horowitz

part of the war waged when running a startup is rejection: repeated,
horrifying, relentless. there is no peace and the arrows fly. you can't always
control your immediate response but you _can_ train yourself to be braced for
it, inured to it when it comes. eventually, with a lot of hard mental
conditioning, you can find and appreciate the benefits of being rejected
(fortitude, resilience, grim determination).

getting into YC is one of many paths to winning that war when you're ready.
just turns out to be the most effective i can think of.

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apardes
We just applied for the next YC batch. This post is perfectly on point with
our feelings at times through the process. Going into it, the fear of being
rejected was almost paralyzing but we pushed through and got it in. It was a
good exercise for our team regardless of the outcome.

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malanj
Your offer of help for founders applying to YC is great - thanks very much.
I'm going to drop you a mail to take you up on the offer :-)

