
29 Years Old, Start a Business or Have a Baby? - mikesabat
http://shelfmade.wordpress.com/2007/11/09/29-years-old-start-a-business-or-have-a-baby/
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run4yourlives
>I think a better definition for quality of life means experiencing a range of
emotions. Is there anything more thrilling, frustrating, exciting and
depressing than a startup.

Obviously not a parent!

I think he's correct to make the choice however. Having a baby considerably
alters your focus in the same way that a startup would. If I could, I would
have chosen startup first, then baby.

By no means though does having a baby make a startup impossible, but it makes
it very difficult to focus on.

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DanielBMarkham
On the downside, a startup can only make you go broke, while a baby could turn
into a serial killer and make you miserable for your entire life. On the
upside, a startup can give you money and experience and set you up financially
for life. A good kid is another human being that is part of your life's
journey, which beats the physical and emotional peaks of being a huge startup
success. Having a kid is a very average and pedestrian thing to do, while
having a startup is more of a stand-out, brave thing to do.

I don't know -- looks like a close call. How about marry a girl with money who
won't mind raising the kids by herself while you're out pulling all nighters
on the startup? By the time the kid gets old enough to do stuff with you will
have beat the growing pains out of your startup anyway.

In all seriousness, doing a startup is an act of ego and ambition. Having a
kid is an act of love and selflessness. The motivations, time span, and payoff
is so different, I don't think they're comparable.

~~~
mikesabat
Thanks for the well thought out comments. Of course things are very different.
It is just funny to call a friend and he talks about his kid and I talk about
my business.

~~~
DanielBMarkham
You should try having this same conversation with your wife. :)

As hard as startups are, I think kids are harder. Maybe that's why people talk
about their kids so much. Biological units are just more difficult to program
and debug ;)

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pchristensen
I started to reply to this on Mike's website, but there was just too much to
say. Check out this link where I, a parent, go through the same point-by-point
competition:

[http://www.pchristensen.com/blog/2007/11/09/re-29-years-
old-...](http://www.pchristensen.com/blog/2007/11/09/re-29-years-old-start-a-
business-or-have-a-baby/)

"So for those keeping score, Mike went 6-1-1 (startup-baby-draw), while I went
2-4-2. I guess that our bias is expressed by the choices we have made to get
where we are. I think it's easy to pick the startup because the experiences
can be more easily related to someone else, while parenting sounds like a
whole lot of work and you have to take someone else's word that "Babies make
you happy." But the important lesson is to find something that makes you happy
and feed it."

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drubio
'In America I believe that it's technically illegal to invest in a child, but
let's run the numbers.'

If this guy is capable of running a return on investement on his own
son/daugther on becoming a professional golfer, and reaping the benefits, this
guy is going to make it as a businessman, it can't get more callous than that.

~~~
mikesabat
Thanks, I think. This is obviously a joke, but I'm sure you have seen the
crazy parents at the kid's baseball, football, soccer, or hockey games.

I'm sure they at least have some ambition of their child going pro and
bringing home the big bucks.

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Mistone
I'm 28, starting a startup, and have a wonderful little man (14 months), and a
terrific wife. I would caution people from trying to do both. No matter how
much time you spend with the tike, when your always trying to squeeze in a few
extra hours on the startup things get wobbly.

One of the areas I have had the hardest time with is getting consistent
quality time with my wife. Spending a few hours each evening, say 7-9 hanging
with your family is no problem and you get lots of great time reading books,
playing, and feeding, but when 9:15 rolls around and you want to get back to
work, that's when the trouble begins.

While I'm not giving up, and am now trying to ensure I make more time for my
wife so we don't loose sight of why we feel in love and got married then we
will be alright.

So if its a choice - do one first and the other next - if it just happens -
like life - then be vigilant about putting time and attention into your family
- things can unravel fast and its no fun to feel like your risking your
awesome family for your risky startup.

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snorkel
If you need more than 50 hours/week for business then postpone the child but
don't wait too long. Kids are fun but at the same time you don't want to be
chasing a 10 year old when you're 50 and raising a teenager when you're 60+.

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davidw
Sounds like a baby isn't really an option for him, as he doesn't mention a
wife or other willing female.

~~~
mikesabat
haha - definitely no wife and very few willing females, since you asked

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rokhayakebe
It all depends on the "Mother". If she loves you sincerely she will support
you and the kid will not even know if you were there or not. At the end they
will all enjoy the success. Besides a kid can be a motivation to become even
more succesful.

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ced
I think the conclusion is that you really want to do a startup, and not have a
baby. If your gut says so, you don't have to rationalize it, especially with
such dubious arguments... Please, don't compute a baby's expectation value
ever again!

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webwright
[http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-
bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2005/11/16/...](http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-
bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2005/11/16/gree.DTL)

According to this article, you'd be doing the world a real favor if you
avoided kids altogether.

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nanijoe
No reason why he cannot do both

~~~
cedsav
You can do both (as I'm doing), but not exactly with the same ambition. I'm
more of a lifestyle entrepreneur, growing the business slowly, managing my
hours and spending some some great time with my wife and baby.

If you're aiming for the VC-backed billion-dollar startup with 80 hours work
week, surviving on pizza and coke... Then your setting yourself for a failure
as a dad/mother if you try to have a kid at the same time.

~~~
cellis
Didn't Steve Jobs do something similar?

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sanj
I've done both. My kid wins.

Until you've had one, you have no idea of the lower mammalian (reptilian?)
bits of your brain that they will engage.

Having said that, I'm on my third startup, and I'm intending to have more
kids!

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falsestprophet
It is increasingly dangerous to have a child past 30. The danger is most
pronounced for older women. If you want a family, I think the time for the
bootstrapping raman startup has passed.

~~~
run4yourlives
That risk is not pronounced past 30, but 35. Adding to that, it negligible.
It's not like 50% of babies have issues, it's just that a greater percentage
do compared to women in their 20's.

Most families these days are started by parents in their 30's.

~~~
sspencer
Maybe I'm not understanding you, but are you saying beyond 35 the risk
plateaus? This graph seems to say otherwise.

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Trisomy21_graph.jpg>

I wouldn't even consider starting a family later than 35. And look at 45! More
than a 1 in 33 chance you will have a child with Down syndrome (Trisomy 21)
after 45...those are definitely not gambling odds.

~~~
imsteve
Those numbers are far too small to base such a life changing decision on.

And this kind of risk to the baby is not nearly as serious as a risk to the
mother. You can always try again. These are the stats you should be
considering.

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tarkin2
i call my programs babies :(

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imsteve
Maybe you should just wait one or two years.

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edw519
What's the difference?

