
Ask HN: How do I cope with being a young diabetic? - throwawaydiab
I am in early twenties, I had difficulties with choosing a major (my mother forced me to choose a major) this lead to three years wasted at college without advancing and needing to change major to Compsci and by then I discovered that I can&#x27;t change my major anymore and my only solution (at the moment) was to go to private school and I couldn&#x27;t afford that.My mother explained that she forced to choose that major so I can be near (a very dump explanation) this lead to fights with her and a lot of stress and this led to me getting diabetes type 2 (and because of bad diet too).I am in a very position now: I can&#x27;t handle stress the way a healthy person does.I can&#x27;t do any high stress stuff (starting a startup, handle corporate culture).I tried freelancing but clients are very cheap.
How can I cope with this (feeling of being disadvantaged)?
For HNers with medical conditions that can&#x27;t tolerate stress: how do you handle it?
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mchannon
With a family full of type II's, here's the first step:

Get your health in order by no longer eating garbage. Your body is riding the
insulin roller coaster and it's giving out. Eat meat, dairy, and vegetables
only. The conventional wisdom, the USDA, and the farm lobby insist on carbs
being a big part of your diet, but they're not the ones with diabetes (they're
the ones who gave it to you).

Steer clear of all carbonated beverages from Diet Coke to Perrier. The
CO2-punch to the gut from sodas stimulates ghrelin, which'll make you hungry
in 2 hours, and aggravate your diabetes in a half-dozen ways.

This won't solve all your problems, but it's remarkable how much easier life
feels when you're not going through it sick.

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goodells
Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your situation - to be honest it sounds stress-
inducing on its own.

Your question is vague considering the type of advice you're looking for. What
is your living situation like? Do you have any immediate concerns? Besides
just general "stress", what bothers you the most? If you're willing to share,
how recent is your diagnosis?

One overall suggestion I have for you is to not psych yourself out. If you
convince yourself that you have a low stress tolerance, you will. Having a
medical condition that is exacerbated by stress is legitimate, but if you
avoid all stress and never develop coping mechanisms then you will be worse
off. If you notice yourself stressing about stress itself, just take a deep
breath (I mean physically stop what you're doing and breathe in and out over
the course of several seconds) and find out what's really bothering you.

In terms of your health, you should find a good endocrinologist if you weren't
referred to one already. This isn't meant to be medical advice, but type 2
diabetes is curable. It tends to be easier to cure if you take care of it
sooner rather than later though, and after 6-7 years it is effectively
permanent. A young person with the condition should be able to gradually lower
his insulin resistance and become healthy again if he treats it as a priority.

My background is in healthcare and computers - if you are in the United States
and need help with health insurance or Medicare I can look into it: sam (at)
mangane.se

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DoreenMichele
First, you need to stop blaming your mother, cheap clients, and other people
generally. You need to decide what you want and do what it takes to make that
happen. Instead of fighting with people, just make your own decisions. If they
are going to have a cow about it, start moving them out of your life.

If you are living with controlling parents or other controlling people, you
need to very quietly start laying the groundwork for getting out of that
situation (without signalling to them that you are moving on -- that only
gives them the chance to sabotage your efforts). Don't keep people close to
you and give them control over your life who don't genuinely respect you and
have your best interests at heart.

Second, you need to prioritize taking care of your health.

Third, you need to stop focusing so much on what you can't do and start
focusing more on what you can do.

~~~
horofox
Best advice ever.

I come from a relationship with my family like the one you described. Now my
mother is dead, my father married another woman and all the advice and control
they gave me is gone and they barely remember these expectations which some of
them I fulfilled but actually at some point I left my home and worked in
another city without having money to pay even my lunch. That made me make a
lot of money, move from a third world country and meet the love of my life. I
didn't have diabetes so maybe for you it might be different, but unless you
take control of your life and start to have frequently moments which you are
100% responsible for, you will never truly live.

I always felt weak and had my fair amount of health imperfections, but I once
thought that if I'm a bird with an undeveloped wing and I need to do my first
flight, I would rather crash my face to the ground and die than to live a
shitty life being abused by everybody.

Maybe you can fix your disadvantage with your brain and become a bird that
makes other birds fly for yourself.

Also take out this disadvantage mindset. You should make your strong points
stronger. You have gone through some crazy shit that those perfect rich white
males probably never went. So at least at something you can excell.

Please also take my opinion with a grain of salt, you know your life better
than me. Cheers

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jackgolding
I developed anxiety (not diagnosed) earlier this year - even just laying it
all out to a psychologist helped A LOT. Since my anxiety is in check I can
focus on my diet a lot more, starting to get results with weight and feeling
better now. Next step is exercising more.

Once I sort all of this out and some personal finances, THEN I can worry about
"high stress stuff". In the meantime I'll work my loss stress job and play
WoW.

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lucas_membrane
My doctor told me to quit, and I have, but that was after working in
potentially stressful jobs 49 years as a type 1.

My advice is (1) decide that your health always comes first, and (2) your
glucometer is your guardian angel.

If you follow (1) by promising yourself and all relevant others that you will
never let the demands of work put your health at risk and simply follow that
rule all the time, that may remove much of the stress, because you have much
less to fear, and because the relevant others all are on notice that whatever
good you do for them is contingent on you being able to do it.

The glucometer thing is what makes the strategy reality based for all
concerned. If you feel that work-related stress is messing with your glucose
levels, take a test, and if you are out of the range you want to live in, take
a break from work, adjust your food or meds as indicated, keep testing, and do
not work until you have controlled the glucose problem.

If you use the glucometer frequently enough and react accordingly to what it
tells you, you can probably have pretty decent control of your glucose levels.
I remember reading somewhere that pretty decent control means about 2/3
reduction in complications from what you will get with typical control. Deaths
from diabetic complications are now pretty typically delayed until the late
70's with such measures. That's not a cure, but it will give you a good chance
of living until one shows up.

Caveats: (1) I'm type 1, so I don't know enough about type 2 to tell you how
often you should be testing. For a type 1, I would suggest that 5 or 6 tests
per day is a good idea. Maybe, if you take insulin, something around the same
would work out. The rule I try to follow is that whenever I think I might need
to test, I better test. (2) Diabetes can cause psychological problems. Give
your MD an idea about any problems you have with stress, self-control and
compliance with the prescribed regimen, and if the MD thinks you need any help
with that, comply.

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banner2018
For most of us, it is tough to accept when a family member callus choices lead
us to disadvantage in life. But the problem of being diabetic, as I have
learned from my experience is that it makes it more than twice as hard.
Dwelling in the past only feeds into the bad health situation. I have observed
the days I kept past the family situation, my sugar levels fared better to the
extent that I did not rely on the medicine. Avoid binge eating, try more
exercise.

You can only steer life with what you can influence, try to gain influence of
your own life, you don't have to be rude. Rome wasn't built in a day, life is
like sailing you have to steer slowly and steadily. Hopefully you will do
better than me, for I learnt this wisdom have an estranded relationship with
my mother for 2 decades to the extent that I did not attend her funeral. Have
take hypnosis therapy to move past life decisions that I had no control over.
All I can share is my sugar is in much better control.

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paulcole
Are you 100% sure you’re type 2? I was wrongly diagnosed as type 2 in my early
30s. Went through a lot of problems before finally getting correctly diagnosed
as Type 1 and starting insulin injections.

Diabetes makes me hate my life, no question about it, but at least having some
control over it makes some days bearable at least.

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throwawayketo
try keto

~~~
bobzibub
See reddit.com/r/keto to start.

