
The craziest date ever - architgupta
http://www.salon.com/2013/11/12/the_craziest_okcupid_date_ever/?new
======
nisa
I did something similar albeit not so cool and without the intent of dating
but with a backpack. Hiked and Hitchhiked a few weeks through Europe with a
girl. We met through a "looking for hitchhiking partner" forum. It was
tremendous fun. We almost had no money and no iSomething but met a lot of nice
people and got around very quickly. We also showered and changed clothes every
few days. Smelling like shit complicates things. Hitchhiking is far easier if
you look and smell "normal".

I remember driving a BMW from the 7 series into the sunset heading to the
atlantic ocean in france. I have the credit card of the car owner next to me
(for the toll stations) as he is sleeping and we are listening to his favorite
french chansons. He was a banker not much older than me. This connected
feeling and trust is priceless and I'm really flabbergasted every time it
works. There is a longing in the people you meet on your way and a longing in
yourself. Nothing beats someone who stops and offers you ride after you were
stuck for 6 hours in a godless place surrounded by refuges who are trying to
enter great Britain in the back of trucks that cross the border. And you
suddenly realize how important that passport in your pocket is. And how lucky
and privileged you are and what desperation does to people. I don't know. It
changed my perspective on a lot of things.

If you are careful with your money and avoid tourist areas and research cheap
spots before going to big cities (more expensive if you don't know where to
live on the cheap) you can travel for 4 weeks for 500 to 1000€ in western
europe using only a tent and a small backpack. In eastern europe it is
probably cheaper. We also went to restaurants quite often - so we were quite
wasteful.

But if I would do it next year again I'd also take a smartphone with me. There
is the great hitchwiki.org and Couchsurfing and other internet services would
help me save money and time. This was in 2007.

~~~
ryanbrunner
My wife and I travelled through Europe around the same time as you (most of
2007 and some of 2008). We managed to spend about $25000 for both of us for a
year's travel. There's really a ton of ways to travel cheaply if you do your
research.

One resource that was invaluable for us was HelpExchange
([http://www.helpx.net](http://www.helpx.net)). Basically the idea is that you
exchange helping out someone (usually for about 4 hours a day) in exchange for
room and board. On it's own, it's not the greatest deal in the universe, but
you can find some really interesting places. During our stay, we did help
exchange at:

\- A farm in Sweden, where we helped out at the market, got to see some
amazing countryside with super friendly people.

\- A pub / hostel in a small village in Yorkshire, where our "job" was really
just to chat with the locals and pull the occasional pint.

\- An absolutely beautiful chateau in Normandy, with 4 other helpx people,
including a chef who made the most amazing food ever.

\- A camel farm in Austria, where we actually learned to be pretty good
horseback riders in 4 weeks (due to dressage lessons every day after we took
the camels for a walk)

~~~
peterwwillis
There's also a lot of hospitality exchange groups that'll help you meet people
and hopefully find a place to stay. Here's a list:
[http://wikitravel.org/en/Hospitality_exchange](http://wikitravel.org/en/Hospitality_exchange)

------
zaroth
The writing really is fantastic, the story compelling and unique, and the
take-away completely expected. How could you not find yourself more focused,
more present, more enrapt by the lands and peoples surrounding you, with
nothing to distract you but the clothes on your back!

Modern marketing machines aside, I think the human condition really lends
itself to exploring the world like this. There must be some base instinct
which tends to support a high level of empathy and respect for the courageous
and peaceful strangers who throw themselves into a foreign culture like this.
Obviously some tribes don't invite strangers so easily, but often the people
you think would be most hostile are the ones that welcome you the warmest.

One thing I'm mildly curious about, when asked, did they say they were
Canadian? ;-)

Kudos to Clara and Jeff, and thanks for sharing your story with us.

EDIT: For those harping on them carrying an iPhone/iPad, let me just say this;
feel free to comment about how your own similar experience was further
enhanced by also unplugging. In the meantime, I'm impressed with anyone who
can take such a large bet on the chivalry of strangers in a foreign land and
come out so much better for it. Personally I think carrying an iPhone is
orthogonal, because it's a useful planning and safety tool which does little
to dampen the experience a trip like this can bring.

~~~
jacques_chester
I found the writing middling, the story twee and arrogant and the take-away
utterly predictable.

Of the two of us, I am clearly the better fit for HN.

~~~
noeltock
> "Of the two of us, I am clearly the better fit for HN."

Thanks for the laugh, nailed it.

------
brianbreslin
As someone who loves the idea of wandering, but is always apprehensive of
truly letting go, I enjoyed the concept of this article. The writing left
something to be desired because the author missed the point that we the
readers were looking for: did she fall in love with this stranger she met on
okcupid? Did traveling without agenda with someone you barely know bring them
closer together or further apart? Where is the HUMAN aspect to the story.

More related to the topic: Are there flex-passes still sold for flights,
trains, etc (like eurail passes)? Or do security issues prevent basically open
ended stand-by flying?

~~~
talmand
"Our romantic relationship intact, Jeff and I boarded the Heathrow return
flight as closer friends than ever (despite the questionable state of our
undergarments)."

~~~
brianbreslin
yeah, but that gives us really very little to go off of, seeing as this was
her "first date" right?

months later or weeks later, where are they?

------
300bps
There's no story in this article. It is just a chronology of events designed
to show off their hipster muscles.

~~~
Kequc
I wonder if in 30 years people will be showing off their photo albums to which
their kids will wonder why aside from the images not being 3d. That the photos
have had detail purposely brushed out by means of superficial Instagram
filters.

~~~
judk
That's not what instagram does. Instagram replaces noise and poor color with
an artsy layer. The missing detail was never there (or if it was, t was ugly
detail like harsh shadows and pimples)

Shots with good cameras and lighting and faces don't get instagrammed.

------
peterwwillis
There's got to be some phrase that describes this. "Travel porn" is the
closest I can get to. Wandering through random locales with some meager idea
of a lesson learned or an "experience" that might in some way transmogrify
your grip on reality. In the end you just end up meeting a lot of strangers
and seeing a lot of different places, which doesn't teach you anything other
than how to wash your clothes in a sink or how to order a beer when you don't
know the language.

~~~
mherdeg
Josie Long does a good send-up of this in her standup show "Trying Is Good",
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2Vwy9TL3pY#t=14m25s](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2Vwy9TL3pY#t=14m25s)
//
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtBsI4JAViQ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtBsI4JAViQ)

"In this last year, I've got to do more traveling than I ever thought I'd be
able to. It's been wonderful. What it has done is it has blown my tiny, (?)
mind. I really want to talk about it. But I'm just a bit worried because I am
aware that when people go traveling, they can come back with this sort of
attitude on them. You know, like, 'Yeah, I've just been traveling … yeah,
traveling, no, it's like a holiday, it's just I'm more sensitive than you.
Yeah, no, just traveling, mate. Just the people, you know, soooo different!
Just, pace of life mainly. Just, poverty, you know. Just the street food,
temples, yeah, temples. Just so, just so, really made me realize how
intelligent I am.' I thought, I probably am a little bit like that, I don't
want to be."

------
sergiotapia
I can almost hear the indie music and fixie bike bell ring.

~~~
etfb
I was hating hipsters before it was cool.

~~~
alex_doom
_yawn_

------
singular
It's a nice idea, but this strikes me as a bit of a puff piece for OkCupid.
The fact the name of the site is used and not 'an online dating site' makes me
question it.

I am somewhat biased though as I am a bitter + twisted undateable who's had
bad experiences with online dating. If these people got something positive out
of the experience, then awesome :)

~~~
sudomal
Even the photos with their old/fuzzy/faded effect reminds me of the style used
by TV adverts for online dating.

~~~
hellweaver666
What I want to know was who was taking the photos?

------
davedx
I hitchhiked from Leh to Manali in northern India with a couple of guys I met
while travelling. It was an incredibly liberating, unforgettable experience.
The hitchhiking experience gave you a completely different experience of
travel: on the way from Manali to Leh I sat clutching my head with altitude
sickness as a minibus sped through the Himalayas at breakneck speed, making
the journey in 12 hours or so. Whereas on the return trip, I think it took us
around a week: we saw so much more of the places along the way, had views
across incredible Himalayan plains from standing up in the back of pick up
trucks or overlooking chasms from the cab of a lorry while the driver dragged
on his cigarette. We stopped off more and talked to more people, explored
more, and even did a spot of walking like the authors in the article --
sometimes this is your only option: no vehicles for 3 hours? Start walking!

We had backpacks though... not as hardcore ;)

------
grecy
During my Alaska->Argentina drive I managed a hostel in the Andes in Ecuador
for 5 months.

I met all kinds of travelers, including a young lady that had been on the road
for six months, with _nothing_.

Her passport was in her front pocket, and a credit card and ~$20 in the other.
_Nothing_ else.

Her clothes were falling off and covered in duct tape and she couldn't
remember the last time she showered. It was repulsive.

~~~
mixmastamyk
Sounds like you are complaining about a person who didn't shower. Gross sure,
but the natural human condition.

The fact she no carried no luggage doesn't seem to be the problem.

~~~
grecy
With no luggage, you only have one pair of underwear. Showering only helps so
much.

~~~
flavor8
That's why you travel in exofficio (or similar) underwear.

------
poissonpie
The no change of clothes angle seems to be overshadowing what I think really
made their experience - that of no itinerary. That said, I think people mostly
over-pack for holidays/travel. I once had all my luggage stolen at the start
of a holiday when camping in France. I ended up buying a jumper and a change
of underwear and the rest of the holiday went swimingly :)

------
mherdeg
I thought this was a pretty cool story but was a bit bummed that the author
didn't disclose the total cost of their trip. It would have been interesting
to know how much they spent.

------
damon_c
I once travelled through about 8 countries in Asia over two months. I was
recently looking at the backpack I had used for that trip and remembered that
it was literally half filled with lonely planet/history/language books that
must have weighed about 20 lbs. That is hard to imagine these days.

~~~
jhull
To put that in perspective: I just backpacked a year abroad on a 14 country
tour through Africa, India and Southeast Asia with my (now) fiancee. On our
first day in Rwanda a guy gave us the entire 2007 Lonely Planet series (like
90 countries) in PDF format that we put on our Kindle. They were 5 years old
and using a Kindle for large PDFs is an awful experience, but it saved us
about 100 pounds of weight.

------
ozh
1) It's a "date" and on every picture they're like 4 meters apart from each
others. Hmmkey.

2) Looks too much like an okcupid & instagram linkbait than real stuff.

~~~
skimmas
I was thinking exactly the same, the photos with the forced distance between
them looks really weird.

~~~
mixmastamyk
I think its a theme, and they just met.

------
joosters
Minimalist travel apparently includes an iPhone and an iPad mini these days.
So much for getting away from it all!

~~~
officemonkey
An iPhone or iPad is a total minimalist thing. It replaces a camera, a music
player, books, a mirror, a flashlight, a phrase book, travel guides. And that
doesn't even touch on the communication benefits of having Skype in your
pocket.

~~~
glomph
If you took a camera, a music player, books, a flashlight, a phrase book and
travel guides with you then you would not be being minimalist. Replacing them
with one tool is physically more minimalist, but in terms of distractions or
intellectual 'stuff' about the same.

------
vittore
I don't remember original saying but it was something like - "You have as much
freedom, as far you can go with weekender bag". This guys are absolutely free,
love it.

------
Fuxy
There's something weird there that sounds like a very fun way of travel but
those pictures seem very cold.

With that body length distance between each other in every picture they don't
seem friends at all more like people who happen to be traveling together.
What's up with that?

~~~
jonahx
I thought it was cool. Instead of doing the boring arms around shoulders that
everyone else does, they made a deliberate decision to take these posed, stoic
shots, using the same formation in every one. Much more interesting than the
"warm" shots you see in typical facebook posts that are instantly forgettable.

~~~
Fuxy
It's human nature to want physical closeness why would you mask that?

To me it looks like their awkwardly standing there like look where we are.

I detest posed pictures I like them to look as natural as possible.

Best way to get that is to catch people when they don't notice their getting
their picture taken.

~~~
stuaxo
I always just make blurry photos this way :/

~~~
Fuxy
That's because average digital cameras suck at taking quick photos this way.

The best ones i made were all made by an old film point and shoot. Digital is
still inferior in some regards.

~~~
talmand
I would think this has more to do with the quality of the camera and its
output. If I find a crappy film point and shoot that doesn't allow me to claim
all film cameras suck.

~~~
Fuxy
What if you found that all phone cameras and regular Digital Point and shoot
cameras you owned do not match you old film camera in speed.

The only thing that comes close are the Professional DSLR's.

Would that qualify?

~~~
talmand
If I found that every one of the digital cameras I've purchased suck at taking
the kinds of pictures I want then I would assume I suck at picking cameras. I
would not assume that all digital cameras suck at taking pictures.

One of the biggest factors involved is going to be the quality of the lens. If
the lens sucks then chances are you'll get bad pictures. A good film camera
with horrible lenses will most likely get you bad photos.

Then, as you say, there's shutter speed to consider. Shutter speed will affect
the resulting image based on the environment and situation where you are
taking the picture. Most cameras meet the needs of most people, a cheap
digital camera will not meet the needs of those who require high shutter
speeds. Nor would a film camera. My question is, who cares? If it doesn't meet
your needs then get a camera that does. For instance, get one that lets you
adjust the f-stop.

Remember cheap, crappy film? That's the equivalent of a crappy digital camera.
A cheap image sensor in a digital camera is roughly the equivalent of not only
cheap film but a bad development of the film.

In other words, you get what you pay for.

------
igorgue
If there's an aspect I don't like about myself is that I hate traveling. The
whole topic of travel bores me a lot. And really alienates myself from
"interesting" conversations.

Just the thought of sleeping somewhere that isn't my place, then carry all
things and walking, and having that fear of getting lost all the time is not
something I find enjoyable, and lets not forget airports.

I enjoy going out (and I do it a lot) and meeting strangers and I pretty much
live in a tourist trap. So it isn't that I'm antisocial.

~~~
sujeetsr
Its reassuring to see that at least one other person has the same viewpoint as
me, when I seem to be surrounded by people who 'love' traveling

~~~
igorgue
I feel you, all my friends "love" traveling too, more like "love talking about
traveling" tho.

I always think: "Do you know the implications of traveling? Not sleeping on
your own bed? Bugs? Most people get sick for trying odd foods? (which is
something I'm always down)"

------
rpsw
It seems to me a backpack wouldn't decrease mobility by much, and would allow
for more comforts such as a change of clothes.

~~~
binarymax
A small backback would not be a physical hindrance, but rather a psychological
one.

------
Osmium
I love how an iPhone was deemed more essential than a change of clothes.

~~~
pcrh
Well, it gives them unlimited access to information, which helps a lot when
arriving in a new city. The lack of a change of clothes is a bit gimmicky and
relies presumably in being able to find a washer and drier pretty much
anywhere.

~~~
zalew
> Once you actually travel like this a lot you come to realize that changing
> clothes is basically optional.

some people sharing transport with you may disagree.

~~~
pcrh
Looks like you meant to reply to a different post. In any case, in the OP, it
is described that their clothes are regularly cleaned.

------
beaker52
I had a girl fly from London to Spain for our second date, the day after our
first, whilst I was on holiday with my at-the-time-ex-girlfriend.

Crazy stuff can happen!

~~~
tostitos1979
Heh ... I've flown for dates at least 3-4 times. Seemed romantic at that time.
None of them worked out and I blew a lot of cash. But it makes for some
interesting memories :)

~~~
Fuxy
You should never fly for dates it never works out you come off too needy.

Now if you're flying to visit a place and just squeeze a date in that's
different. The goal shouldn't be the date it should be visiting the city.

Maybe you can make her show you around (if she's a local) that way you get
something out of it even if it doesn't work out.

~~~
aestra
What if the person you are dating works for the airlines and can fly you in
for free?

~~~
Fuxy
Would you fly in every random person you date? You don't even know you like
her?

They would have to be way past the dating stage before I would consider flying
them in even if it's free.

Women are known to go on dates with guys they don't like just because hey they
get a free meal. So the best way to find out if she actually is interested in
you and not the perks is by not giving them out in the beginning.

If they're a girlfriend or just a friend with benefits that's different.

~~~
pessimizer
How is a flight to you for a date a perk? Sounds like a chore to me.

~~~
Fuxy
Some people like to travel to new places.

I would enjoy it.

Would any ladies here like to fly me in? :P

------
iMark
From the photos it almost appears that this date was brought to you by the
films of Wes Anderson.

------
davegardner
I really think they should have taken a towel with them.

------
Apocryphon
"Loves to travel" has to be one of the most cliché banalities that people put
on their profiles. I guess kudos to these guys for actually living out their
interest.

------
altoz
You learn more about yourself going alone.

~~~
bergie
...and you generally meet a lot more people. Traveling alone is awesome

------
coryfklein
Is anyone else curious how much money this cost them, outside of the plane
tickets?

I imagine food would get pretty expensive with this strategy. I think the
travel expenses (bus, train, etc) would be less than expected because of the
hitchhiking though.

------
richardlblair
Hipster hate aside, that was fun to read. You have to admit, you were
amused...

------
the_watcher
The travel idea is fascinating to me. Lately I have been really interested in
taking a month off work and hitting the Andean countries in South America.
Start in Colombia, hit Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Paraguay, Chile, and Argentina.
Brazil and Uruguay if there is time. Adding this to it would give me much more
flexibility and encourage me to be spontaneous. I probably wouldn't go as far
as they do with no stuff though. I'd bring clothes and my MacBook Air at
least.

------
auctiontheory
Reminded me of this:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHO391xTO-s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHO391xTO-s)

------
evan_
If I was going to write an article after visiting 8 countries in Eastern
Europe I hope I'd be able to find a better subject than myself.

------
S4M
I don't believe the story, for the simple reason that they should stink a lot
after some time in the same clothes.

~~~
auctiontheory
Despite the photos, maybe they are Korean:
[http://shotgunkorea.wordpress.com/tag/korean-lack-of-body-
od...](http://shotgunkorea.wordpress.com/tag/korean-lack-of-body-odor/)

------
cheez
Nails every OkCupid cliche.

Not HN material though.

~~~
the_watcher
I thought the same at first. An OkCupid date isn't something I would expect to
find here. The travel plan of buying a flight to one country and a flight back
from another with no plans between, however, was fascinating and the type of
thing I do enjoy finding on HN.

~~~
auctiontheory
_The travel plan of buying a flight to one country and a flight back from
another with no plans between, however, was fascinating_

Actually, if you're in the backpacking mindset, that is completely standard.
Unfortunately that mindset is much less common in the US than in other Western
countries.

~~~
the_watcher
I've known people who bought one way flights and came back when they wanted
to. But making it a journey from one place to another seems really
interesting.

------
headgasket
Did they carry a pdf copy of the lonely planet(s) on their ipad mini? How
about the hitchhiker's guide, by D. Adams? Just for the mise en abyme, I'm
sure there was no time to read...

------
mililani
Well, don't they say that the litmus test for romantic relationships is
travel? Man, they learned how to swim in the deep end.

------
hiccup
Dude should've brought a condom.

