
On the way to being the most downvoted post ever on StackOverflow:Meta - scardine
https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/334900/official-faq-on-gender-pronouns-and-code-of-conduct-changes?cb=1
======
ksec
[Off Topic]

I was very late to the whole StackOverflow Saga, and didn't spend much time
reading through all of its causes and comments at the time it happen.

And when I did, the thing that struck me most and has been in many other
places including HN ( Sometimes ) is the use of English presumes others are
Americans, especially in technology sector. This completely ignores people all
over the world using English to communicates. And this is not about cultures
or values, but what is a pronoun? How do we use the correct "pronoun", how do
we tell which one to use. I suspect many native English user will have
cognitive load and may decide it is not worth the hassle and walk away.

What about those that uses English as 2nd or even 3rd language.

I remember a story my British Colleague once told me, our German Colleague is
so good with his English, so precise that sometimes it is borderline rude if
you didn't know he was German. i.e The tone is wrong, but Germany tends to be
very explicit about things in their culture, not the same could be said about
the Brits.

It is important to understand the meaning, and messages that is trying to come
across behind its written or verbal form, and often not _literally_ what it
meant.

If we have to nitpick every single word, phase or grammatical mistake as well
as whatever political issues it is with the usage of the word, we will very
quickly end up with people not communicating to you ( or in this case Stack
overflow ) in the fear of constantly being bashed and disrupted.

~~~
unforeseen9991
I didn't assume, but I can tell right away when someone has English as a
second language like you do.

I pick up grammatical oddities as I read, and if I had to guess i'd say your
first language is of Asian origin, possibly Filipino.

Of course that doesn't mean you aren't American, but I assume you are not vs
are in this kind of situation.

It probably depends on how "American" the forum for discussion is vs global, I
see HN more American then say, Reddit.

~~~
ksec
>I pick up grammatical oddities as I read

Mind sharing? So I can improve on it, it is funny as this is not the first
time someone said I am Filipino, which I am not XD.

------
RankingMember
I think the blowback is really just about cognitive load. There's only so much
you can expend on social mores before the actual subject you're discussing
gets eclipsed. Everyone deserves equal respect, but I understand that when I'm
not in the majority in a situation that my perspectives/language may be alien
to some of those in the majority- I don't hold it against them unless there is
explicit hostility.

I find myself starting to subconsciously just use "you" or "them" and avoid
any specific gendering altogether- in this day and age it just seems the least
tiring route to go.

~~~
urthen
Absolutely "They". They they they they they. English already has a perfectly
good gender-neutral pronoun. I explicitly list my pronouns as "He/his or
they/their" because I think the neopronouns are ultimately a way to gatekeep
inclusivity, which is ironic.

~~~
hinkley
That doesn't fix everything.

My kid's best friend is now a they. After knowing a 'her' for three years,
it's been hard to switch. I have a hard enough time some days stringing the
right adjectives into sentences without also worrying about pronouns too. It's
easier for me to do when typing, but I can't speak for everyone.

Since their first name is a single syllable, I've found myself avoiding
pronouns entirely when talking about them. Because accidentally saying 'she'
more than once in a while causes stress for everyone. It's a big deal, their
father is not okay with this, and we are frequently the safest house for this
group of kids to hang out at.

Our kid has always gone by a nickname. When she got older she decided she
wanted a change. I was the first one in the house to use her new first name
reliably. I'm not sure why I'm the one having trouble with pronouns.

~~~
BrandoElFollito
You mean that you say "do they want some chocolate" when directly asking that
single person if that single person wants chocolate?

I thought that "they" is too ne used instead of he or she (3rd person) - which
I find useful to avoud he/she or (s)he

EDIT: I had an epiphany under the shower, sorry I misunderstood you and you
probably meant that you now have to say "ask your friend Jane if they want
chocolate"

------
tharne
What's particularly obnoxious about this type of political thought is the idea
that "If you don't support forced or compelled speech in favor of X then you
must be against X". The problems with this type of thinking are too obvious to
list off.

~~~
generalpass
After visiting a friend of mine who was attending UC Berkeley in the 90s, I
made the comment that "if you don't have an open mind, then get the fuck out
of here." This current movement feels very much like an extension of what I
felt there.

------
Excel_Wizard
It's really strange to me that a trans (or whatever) person would be offended
at being called a standard pronoun. Seems like an easy mistake to make.

I feel like the idea of choosing your own pronoun is fine and happy within an
insular LGBTQ+ forum or venue. When it tries to take over the language
everyone else uses, it's gonna do more harm than good. People that push it
just seem to be selfish to me.

~~~
hypnagogicjerk
Some people do deliberately (misgender) to antagonize a person. Particularly
people who feel their culture is being redefined without them.

By the way, EVERY trans person I know has been EXCEEDINGLY kind and
understanding when I've made a mistake with their gender. Now, if I don't know
it already, I ask what they prefer to be called the same way I would ask how
to properly pronounce someone's name. "Pardon me, what are your pronouns?"

If they've stated what their pronouns are then use them with the same respect
you would muster to call someone by their proper name and pronunciation and
spelling. The value here is no different, just more broadly applied then
you're perhaps used to.

If you deliberately misgender someone (show me a nerd hasn't had this or some
similar slur used against them) then you're just a jerk and should be
reprimanded.

As an aside, to all the people complaining about non-English speakers doing
enough work already participating in our idiom: 1) proper use of pronouns is
essential to speaking English with or without neopronouns. 2) Many languages
and cultures require VERY refined and strict understanding of a persons A)
Age, B) Marital status, C) Gender and especially D) Social status before even
beginning to address them.

~~~
gwbas1c
> Some people do deliberately (misgender) to antagonize a person.

There's a difference between childish behavior in real life, versus an
internet forum where someone's name and profile picture don't really say much.

------
frittig
One issue that a lot of trans supporters don't realize is that similarly to
how trans people could be offended when they are referred to by a gender not
of their choice, so to could some speakers be offended if they are forced to
refer to a person as a gender not of their (the speaker) choice.

This may be easier to understand by using a comparison. When I talk about the
Muslim prophet I say Muhammad. However, many Muslims would say Muhammad pbuh
(peace be upon him). This isn't that problematic, but let's say they the term
was Muhammad ttp (the true prophet). Now I as a non Muslim believer would
never use ttp because that would be insulting for whoever I believe in. If SE
required that whenever I mention Muhammad that I append ttp, I would refuse as
it would be extremely offensive to me.

Similarly by referring to a person with XX chromosomes as she, is offensive to
people who believe that genders cannot change. A reasonable compromise would
be to let whoever is righting chose what they want, or even allow gender
neutral pronouns. But what SE chose to do was to say that people who believe
that XY is a guy are wrong and deserve no respect for their beliefs.

~~~
skissane
> Similarly by referring to a person with XX chromosomes as she

It is worth pointing out that there are non-transgender XX males [1]. They are
very rare, but it can happen. If the part of the Y chromosome which contains
the SRY (testis-determining factor) gene is translocated to the X chromosome,
an individual can be an infertile XX male. I don't think anyone would try to
argue that such a person is not actually male (assuming they in fact identify
as such), in spite of their XX chromosomes, since their external appearance
from birth can be completely male. (XX male individuals vary: some appear
anatomically completely male, albeit sterile; others show incomplete
masculinisation.)

Biological sex cannot be reduced to chromosomes, although chromosomes can be
used as a rule of thumb valid 99.99% of the time. In fact, I don't think there
is any one single factor to which biological sex can be reduced; both maleness
and femaleness are composites of collections of traits which usually occur
together, but none of those traits is absolutely necessary to being of that
biological sex. People who talk about biological sex as if it was completely
determined by chromosomes are ignorant of the whole story.

[1]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XX_male_syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XX_male_syndrome)

------
hackerbabz
I don’t know if I’ve ever written a single pronoun on stack overflow.

I write a question referring only to myself “How do I...” Or I write an answer
with “you”, or I reference another poster by name.

I don’t quite understand why the admins thought this was a good use of energy,
but I am also all for inclusivity. If I find the need for a pronoun, I will
use “they” and not be bothered by it.

~~~
luckylion
> If I find the need for a pronoun, I will use “they” and not be bothered by
> it.

That will possibly get you a warning and, if you keep doing it, a ban. _If_
you're using any pronouns _and_ the person has written their preferred
pronouns on their profile, you _must_ use those.

I believe that the whole issue is virtue signalling. It has none to very
little actual practical value but is highly contentious (especially with
draconian punishments for minor infractions), it's great as a signal and
useless as a policy.

~~~
hackerbabz
It absolutely says the opposite of that.

> Q15: Is it expected that people go to "About me" to check whether someone
> has pronouns there when interacting in Q&A?

No. That would be good practice, but it is not required.

~~~
luckylion
Oh, thanks for pointing that out. I had read the whole shebang yesterday and
that Q&A has been added since then. Before the CoC was made public, the
(unofficially) communicated approach was that checking the profile was to be
mandatory.

------
hirundo
"Q9: Do I have to use pronouns I’m unfamiliar or uncomfortable with (e.g.,
neopronouns like xe, zir, ne... )?

Yes, if those are stated by the individual."

Therefore if someone says their pronouns are all Apache Attack Helicopter (and
someone will), and you are aware of it, you are obligated to say things like
"I think Apache Attack Helicopter made a good point". If I'm familiar with it,
yet choose to say "I think they made a good point", I would have violated the
code of conduct.

That leads me to assume that I am unwelcome on this site and to look down the
FAQ for the answer to the question, how do I delete my account?

P.S. It's not in this FAQ, but [https://stackoverflow.com/help/deleting-
account](https://stackoverflow.com/help/deleting-account).

~~~
Kye
>> _" Therefore if someone says their pronouns are all Apache Attack
Helicopter (and someone will), and you are aware of it, you are obligated to
say things like "I think Apache Attack Helicopter made a good point". If I'm
familiar with it, yet choose to say "I think they made a good point", I would
have violated the code of conduct."_

This would be obvious trolling. No one sincerely identifies as an Apache
Attack Helicopter. No one doing this is making a worthwhile contribution, so
there would be nothing worth engaging with. Report and move on.

~~~
atonse
Here’s a better example that’s not as obvious: if I am not aware that ze was
an accepted pronoun and someone told me to use it, how do I know its real and
not them jokingly using “the” with a French accent? Should I report it as
someone fooling around?

~~~
Kye
Is the post otherwise good? If so, Google/quack/whatever for _ze pronoun_ and
see what comes up. Search engines are better at surfacing explanations for
them these days.

In practice, you won't encounter them often, and it should be obvious if
they're a troll. Those should be reported and otherwise ignored. You can worry
yourself sick with these hypotheticals. You are more dynamic than you give
yourself credit for.

~~~
drstewart
>If so, Google/quack/whatever for ze pronoun and see what comes up.

No, I don't think I will waste my time Googling every little thing to avoid
manufactured outrage.

~~~
Kye
Do you typically refuse to learn new things because some people who know those
things are toxic assholes? I never would have learned anything about
computers, writing, or music with a policy like that.

You do you. I'll be over here learning new ways to expand on the human
experience.

~~~
atonse
It's not about refusing to learn new things. You're missing the point. It's
about having to think about (and having to apologize for it if you don't think
about) something that's completely irrelevant to the conversation.

Others have rightly pointed out that there are some StackExchange networks
where your pronoun matters. And I'm sure in those, it's worth putting in the
effort. But for StackOverflow, MathOverflow, Electronics, these things are
absolutely, positively irrelevant to the subject. It neither adds nor takes
away a sense of inclusivity because _it's not relevant_. It's a neutral thing.

------
folkhack
If it's that much of a concern just put a validation filter on the comment
submission box that has you "gender neutralize" your submission/answers if
they find "he/her" type language in there.

I mean - it's a clear-enough defined problem to solve with software and I've
found that if you mess up a gender pronoun on accident people sometimes get
_deeply_ offended. I've gone 100% to the "they/them/you/their user name/etc."
route because I just don't want to step on toes.

I miss the days when everyone was just a silly textual username that didn't
have a gender, age, religion, race, etc. I've gone years communicating with
people without actually knowing their gender.

~~~
tstrimple
For what it's worth, I've only ever encountered people getting "deeply
offended" over intentional misrepresentation of gender. I hear far more people
complaining about people being upset about being misgendered than people
actually upset about being misgendered. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm
just saying that in my experience the counter-"outrage culture" in many cases
blows things way more out of proportion than the "outrage culture" they rail
against.

~~~
mattnewport
The introduction of this policy rather contradicts your claim.

~~~
tstrimple
In what way? I think it only supports my claims. How much visible outrage was
there from people being misgendered? Yet there is a thread full of people
complaining about having to adjust their language. It seems to me there is way
more people upset about changing language than were upset about being
misgendered. Unless there is some meta thread you can point me to which is
full of people complaining about being misgendered?

~~~
mattnewport
The visible outrage is not from people "complaining about people being upset
about being misgendered", it is from people complaining about an actual policy
change introducing compelled speech. If people complaining about being
misgendered is as rare as you suggest then why does stack exchange feel the
need to push through such a controversial policy change?

~~~
hypnagogicjerk
The policy is about recommending polite speech in a public forum where rules
to this effect have been enforced for a long time. And it's articulating what
that means to people who don't understand what pronouns are for.

That some people may use a pronoun other than the one on their birth
certificate is the way things are going in the modern world, so polite use of
the language must take this into consideration.

I have living aunts and uncles and grandparents who still think it's okay to
refer to dark skinned persons, and with all politeness, as "Negro." I take it
on to school them and, yes, compel them to use polite and accepted speech.

By the way, there is no society or culture without compelled and enforced
norms, which by the way are what's under debate underneath all this.

~~~
mattnewport
> The policy is about recommending polite speech

The policy is not about "recommending" anything, it's about "requiring".
That's the essence of most of the negative reaction. There are plenty of
things that I will usually be happy to do voluntarily but will strongly oppose
being _required_ to do.

------
amanzi
I think the first 8 points are all totally acceptable and makes sense. But it
goes downhill from there... I'm totally not comfortable calling someone by a
strange-looking "neopronoun" that I'm unfamiliar with - I would rather avoid
interacting with them than use those words.

------
dvfjsdhgfv
This comment made me think:

> Is using someone's personal pronoun really "showing respect" if you get
> banned otherwise?

------
tzs
I could get behind a real fix to English pronouns that takes gender completely
out of it and fixes the problem of ambiguity when you have more than one
pronoun in a sentence.

My proposal would be:

1\. "he" becomes gender neutral, and always refers to the first person in the
sentence.

2\. "she" becomes gender neutral, and always refers to the second person in
the sentence. You can think if it as standing for "second he".

3\. "tehe" is a gender neutral pronoun that always refers to the third person
in the sentence. Think of it is standing for "tertiary he".

4\. "quhe", "pehe", "hehe" are the 4th, 5th, and 6th persons ("quad he",
"penta he" and "hex he"). If your sentence has more than six persons, rewrite
the damn thing.

For example, in the sentence "Alice, Bob, and Carol took his car, she drove,
and tehe paid for the gas", they took Alice's car, Bob drove, and Carol paid
for the gas.

If they took Bob's car, Carol drove, and Alice paid, that would be "Alice,
Bob, and Carol took her car, tehe drove, and he paid for the gas".

~~~
frittig
that's actually really interesting, I never thought of that. do you know if
any languages have something like that?

------
gwbas1c
I wonder how a non-native English speaker would handle this, especially if
they came from a country that is still hostile to LGBTQ issues?

------
Kye
This one has me torn. Neopronouns are _hard_. I spend a lot of time in and
around communities where these are used, and people who use them tend to be
accepting of people using they/them. It's a compromise for the reality that
most people aren't going to remember something they rarely use even if they
want to. I rarely see people who use these pronouns, so I forget usage between
encounters.

Even most of the people screaming bloody murder in here say they're okay with
they/them. I'm not sure who SE consulted on Q9, but xey are not representative
of any neopronoun user I've met. They recognize it's a lot of extra mental
load beyond the much more common they/they/their and make a small
accommodation for people who struggle with it.

I don't see any other issues on a skim, but that seems to be what's setting
people off anyway so maybe that _is_ it.

------
luord
I've been answering questions in Stack Overflow for over two years and I don't
remember referring to anyone by anything other than the second person; I never
saw SO as a platform that lended itself to talk about anyone in the third
person.

Regardless, this policy means that I'll be contributing even less frequently
than I already do and, if/when that happens, I'll just keep using the second
person.

If I somehow slip, use the third person and someone ends up saying anything
about "misgendering", I'll just delete the answer/comment and spend my time
better doing something else.

------
automathematics
Just try and recognize you're not the only person on the internet. Do right by
them, and if you fuck up, apologize and move on.

If you're getting angry that you (might) upset someone else you need to take a
hard look in the mirror. Not only because you're immediately acting like their
feelings don't matter because you didn't MEAN to offend them. But also, why
don't you have a hobby? If you do, apologize to the person you upset and move
on and reclaim that time to do something productive.

------
kelnos
I get that there is a much larger context to this (moderator losing her
moderating bits over this issue, many other moderators stepping down in
protest) that's almost certainly inflaming the discussion and driving a lot of
the downvotes, but overall I don't really see much that's objectionable about
this.

Essentially it boils down to: if you know someone's preferred pronouns, use
them. If not, use gender-neutral pronouns. They even specifically point out
that there's no requirement to actively seek out someone's pronouns if you
don't know; just use something gender-neutral and move on.

I do see some issues, like: what if someone makes up a pronoun in bad faith,
with the intention to troll people? There's some discussion around that in the
comments, but the current policy seems to be "go along with it, but raise the
issue with mods and they'll look into it", which is... not really a satisfying
answer at all? And what if someone puts down a pronoun in good faith that
you're simply unfamiliar with? Is it really reasonable to expect that
answering a SE question will sometimes require googling someone's stated
pronoun, followed by a value judgment to guess if they're trolling or not?

I come to SE (well, mostly SO) for answers to technical questions. For the
vast majority of them, gender has nothing to do with the question or answer.
Someone in the comments links to a question where someone put their pronoun
preference at the bottom of their question, followed by an edit war removing
and re-adding it[0], plus there's a meta discussion of the question[1].
Pronoun discussion in a technical question that doesn't even have to do with
people is just _noise_ , plain and simple. But it seems the consensus among
community managers is edging toward leaving the pronoun notification in there,
even though their FAQ explicitly states that the right place for a pronoun
preference is in the About Me section of the user profile. This is getting to
be a bit much.

[0]
[https://stackoverflow.com/posts/58336846/revisions](https://stackoverflow.com/posts/58336846/revisions)

[1] [https://meta.stackoverflow.com/questions/390301/would-a-
note...](https://meta.stackoverflow.com/questions/390301/would-a-note-about-
preferred-pronouns-qualify-the-same-way-as-a-thank-you)

------
gwbas1c
(Joke)

Sometimes I wonder if we should all adopt thick accents so we can just use 'e
(instead of he or she); hm (instead of her or him); and ha (instead of his or
hers).

(Please laugh)

------
progfix
I use whatever pronoun I see fit and if I offend someone by using the wrong
pronoun I will apology to that person and move on.

~~~
growse
"I'll wave my fists wherever I see fit and if I end up hurting someone by
punching them I'll apologise to that person and move on."

Maybe stop waving your fists about?

~~~
thaneross
As a marginalized person who has both been physically assaulted for my
identity as well as been subjected to hate & discrimination, let me be clear
that equivocation between words and violence is not helpful.

~~~
growse
I didn't mean for it to sound like an equivocation, and reading it back I see
how it could be seen that way. I should have worded it better.

What I'm trying to say is that we should all be aware that our actions occur
in a _context_ , and thinking about the possible implications of those actions
is a good thing. This is true whether that action is a physical action, or
speech, or even inaction etc. The attitude of the OP appeared to be more "I am
free to do x and I'm not going to give any thought to what the possible
consequences might be before I do x", which isn't particularly fun for
everyone else.

------
atonse
Obligatory need to say: I strongly believe in a live-and-let-live idea so yes,
everyone should be treated fairly and with decency. Everyone.

The odd thing here is that in most cases, rules regarding speech revolve
around what _not_ to say. (cursing, hate speech, attacks, etc).

But in this case, these kinds of things feel like they belong more as a list
of good manners. But in this case, you aren't being told "this is what we feel
are good manners", but you're forced to say certain things, but those rules
can be all over the place (physically, on different pages, and complexity-
wise). So now are people supposed to check each profile before responding?
What's wrong with just saying s/he, or OP, or the various internet-isms? Do
they cause so much harm? They are totally harmless and neutral, and not
offensive. Or are they offensive now?

Again, it's one thing if it was a guideline (like when we talk about manners),
but this seems like users are being forced to say certain words (compelled
speech), knowing which words to say requires them to do additional research,
and that research usually has nothing to do with the content of the actual
post.

~~~
mcphage
> So now are people supposed to check each profile before responding?

That question is specifically asked—and answered—in the linked article; the
answer is no.

------
ladysman217
ming the discussion and driving a lot of the downvotes, but overall I don't
really see much that's objectionable about this. Essentially it boils down to:
if you know someone's preferred pronouns, use them. If not, use gender-neutral
pronouns. They even specifically point out that there's no requirement to
actively seek

~~~
ladysman217
Nothing better to do

------
ykevinator
This story cannot die fast enough. The simplest solution is to pay moderators.

------
CM30
Now it seems StackOverflow knows how YouTube feels whenever they post a
YouTube Rewind video. That one got absolutely downvoted to all hell, and for
similar reasons to this post.

Hopefully they'll look at this, see the amount of dislikes it's getting and
change course again/revert this mess to the way it was before.

~~~
callinyouin
This "mess" is an attempt to encourage/enforce basic decency in their
community. Why do you think they should "change course"?

~~~
throwaway66920
It’s like making it illegal to not greet your neighbor each morning. The
underlying premise is to make things nicer, but it’s also just stupid. A good
rule would be “try to be considerate of pronoun preferences”.

The wants of the LGBTQA community are, in the eyes of the majority, probably
not this. I like to be polite and respectful. I’ll be honest though, I would
guess that less than 0.1% of the English speaking population identifies as
“Xir” and that a non trivial portion of those that do are comfortable with the
understanding that random strangers are more comfortable using gender neutral
language. I would further posit that the portion of those that are not ok with
people having points of view favoring even gender neutral language and instead
demand the usage of the term Xir have adopted it as a counter cultural stance
to combat heteronormativity- which honestly is fine, but it’s also a move made
knowingly to make some people uncomfortable which by any metric must be ruder
than someone who is just trying to avoid controversy at all by using gender
neutral pronouns to begin with. I’m a left leaning adult, and I think it’s
pretty bullshit. Especially on the Internet where women have been assumed to
be men by default for decades.

If I misgender someone, and they ask me to use any specific pronoun in the
future, I probably will. If the responder instead gets angry and implies that
I am rude because I made a common assumption, and instead asserts that I’m
going to tell them to buzz off.

Rudeness is clearly a subjective concept based around intent. And it’s frankly
a waste of people’s time.

Imagine if every post had pronouns at the end, and if every man then demanded
a correction for a use of they instead of “he”. That would be a waste of time
and disrespectful to the ability of everyone else to be an adult.

------
axaxs
I don't care how downvoted I get, I'll never call someone a made up pronoun.
There is no word as xir as xe or latinx and i'm not participating in what I'd
consider alarming participation of a mental illness. If you want me to call
you he, or she, or as pointed just they, I don't think that's asking much. And
I'll probably make a mistake, just mention it and move on. But the second you
force this crap onto me, I'm out, which I'm sure pleases both sides.

~~~
happytoexplain
>mental illness

Do you actually believe this, or are you using it as an insult?

>I don't care how downvoted I get

This hurts your comment so badly, especially as a leading statement.

~~~
axaxs
>Do you actually believe this, or are you using it as an insult?

I believe this, and mean it more as a matter of fact in a literal sense, and
not as an insult.

>This hurts your comment so badly, especially as a leading statement.

To each their own. I know my audience. I lean conservative on a heavily west
coast populated forum. I'm usually pretty easy going, but did draw a line in
the sand on this. If every SE community trends this way, I'll pursue other
interests.

------
fwip
Wow, what a trainwreck in the comments. It's a shame that this is what happens
whenever you remind developers to use common decency.

~~~
dlivingston
The majority of comments have no qualms with respecting one's mode of self-
identification, but rather, with the method by which S.E. has chosen to
approach it.

In other words, the commenters have an issue with the _poor execution of a
noble idea_.

~~~
Spivak
Genuinely, what's the poor execution? They seem to have basically codified
"use someone's stated pronouns" with an awareness of the common ways people
try to get around it.

It seems like anyone who respects how other people identify will have hard
time running up against this policy.

~~~
kelnos
The policy assumes that everyone will act in good faith, or will be explicit
about acting in bad faith. That's a terrible assumption.

For example: if I put an unfamiliar pronoun in my profile, and someone sees
it, are they obligated to refer to me that way? What if I'm just trolling?
Should people be required to google my preferred pronoun and then make a value
judgment on whether I'm acting in good or bad faith?

If they err on the side of assuming good faith, and I'm really just trolling,
then we get an answer for all to see that includes someone falling for a
troll, which reduces the value of that answer. It also normalizes trollish
behavior, which is bad.

If they believe I'm acting in bad faith, and they're wrong, they could get
banned from the site, which is an overreaction to what I'd expect will be a
common, innocent mistake.

And that's just one example; there are plenty more in the comments.

~~~
Kye
I would hope a mod on SO/SE is better at detecting trolling than the average
/r/TumblrInAction poster. People who do this are very obvious if you're not
already poised to go off on a rage at the people they're pretending to be.
Unchecked confirmation bias is a critical vulnerability.

