
Relaxation tips? - anonymous
I <i>love</i> my startup job but, since starting it, my jaw clench has become bad enough that my front teeth are shifting.  Does anyone have some good tips on how to stop that?
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staunch
Your body has a built in mechanism for repairing itself mentally and
physically: Sleep.

 _Some people experience alertness, relaxation, and a refreshed sense of well
being. Ask your doctor if Sleep is right for you._

~~~
Goladus
Sleep is basically a prerequisite for any of the other relaxation techniques.
But some of the other suggestions will help you sleep better.

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pg
Running and yoga are particularly good.

If you really want to clear out your brain, the best thing I know is hang-
gliding, but that tends to take place at inconveniently distant locations.

~~~
papersmith
Running works great for me for several reasons:

1) It's got a fairly flat learning curve.

2) The rewards are immediate and gradual, but clearly noticeable.

3) It's relatively cheap, though you can't cheap out on shoes if you are going
to run on cement. A good pair usually costs over $100, but you can get them
for half the price online if you know your size for a particular model.

4) It's convenient. However, you do need access to a shower afterwards.

5) You can do it alone or with someone else, at any time you want.

That being said, I found taichi to work just as well in clearing the brain,
but you don't get the endorphin rush or the cardiovascular improvements as
much.

~~~
far33d
It's FAST too, in terms of calories burned per minute.

I love cycling - but any bike ride under an hour isn't really worth the time,
unless you're doing hard intervals or climbing a really steep hill. If you
have 30 minutes, there's nothing more efficient than running.

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kmt
Yoga, tai-chi, kung-fu, swimming, water polo, running, skating, skiing,
snowboard, surfing, windsurfing, kite-surfing, dancing, push-ups, sit-ups,
breathing exercises, shower (especially cold one) are all things that I
personally try to do as often as my time allows. I start my day with yoga and
try to do at least one other of the above mentioned activities during the day.
Any of these will do. Even just getting off the computer for a while will also
help a little.

Alcohol, coffee, online porn, energy drinks, drugs, cigarettes are all bad
ideas.

If you choose to believe ayurveda (the ancient Indian medicine) you need to
have equal amounts of "Sun" and "Moon" activities during the day. Sleep,
computer usage, reading are all Moon activities. All of us here do way too
much of them. To stay in shape we need to counter-balance them with some team
sports, interacting with people, running, jumping, playing, etc. BTW,
meditation, although it's very effective, is also a Moon activity.

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raju
Try meditation. I do it though not as regularly as I should, but it helps to
calm you down. You start to notice more around you, mainly because you stop
analyzing everything to the 'T'.

Read "The Power of Now" for a better (and lengthier) version of what I just
said.

And yeah, try and take it easy... :D

~~~
qaexl
To add to this, there's several different kinds of mediation. The one you're
looking for helps you relax your body in a way that doesn't fuzz your mind, or
burns up your focus.

Some of the meditation methods overlap with deep breathing. You breath deeply
by expanding both the bottom of the lungs, the sides of the lungs, and the top
of the lungs. You make sure the bottom ribs are expanding. You don't try to
force the expansion to the point where you're trying to hold air in like a
puffed up balloon, greedy for more.

You cannot force yourself to relax. Consciously relaxing requires you to
relinquish control over the muscles that are tensing up while still observing
it.

In your case, I would also work on clenching and then relaxing your toes.
There's connective and control tissues going from your feet to the jaws and
temples.

If you're going to learn how to do this though, you'll need to set aside
definite time where the startup cannot intrude. Supposing you set an alarm
clock to buzz in fifteen minutes, then within the fifteen minutes of
meditation/relaxation, you must allow all of the concerns, worries, thoughts,
obsession, guilt with the startup to drift away. Otherwise, this won't work
very well. There are people who develop superlative levels of skill in
relaxation and meditation; these folks spend as much time and energy dedicated
to it as you would to a startup ... so the least you can do is respect it
during the fifteen minutes you are cultivating calmness.

~~~
Goladus
I agree completely, except to mention that 15 minutes may not be sufficient at
first. I wasn't even doing a startup, and 15 minutes was _barely_ enough for
me to let go for the first time I tried.

~~~
qaexl
Very true. I experienced the same thing when I first practiced.

I didn't want to discourage anyone from picking up the practice, though. I
wanted to point out it isn't a magic pill with an insta-cure, and it will take
some time with daily effort before it starts working. Besides, the very first
time, I had trouble sitting still for even five minutes.

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Goladus
I recommend Yoga as well. I asked (almost) this exact same question to another
forum back in January. I got a variety of good recommendations, but the best
was definitely Yoga and Meditation, followed by organizational/time-management
ideas. Exercise wasn't a problem as I was already exercising hard 4-5 times a
week. Sleep wasn't really an issue either, but sleep is basically a
prerequisite for any of these ideas. If you aren't getting enough sleep, you
won't be able to focus on anything.

Just as a sample, try this:

Find a quiet, clean room with a hard floor that you can still lie down on and
be comfortable. It should be softer than a hardwood floor, but harder than a
mattress. I used a throw rug on top of a carpet. Get a small blanket or a
pillow for your head. I used a $5 fleece blanket from the drugstore.

Lie flat on your back, with your arms slightly away from your body, palms-up.
As you relax, your feet should dangle away a little, and your fingers should
curl up a bit. Take a deep breath in through your nose by expanding your
diaphram. Exhale slowly, and listen to your breath. Continue breathing easily.
You should settle into a rhythmic pattern eventually. Keep listening to your
breath. Eventually you'll notice that your arms and legs are getting heavy, as
the tension drains out of them. Your mouth and eyes and face should relax too.
Your mouth will probably hang open. It can take a long time. The first time I
did it, it was 20 minutes of lying on my back and breathing before I was
really relaxed.

Decide in advance how long you will permit yourself to meditate. I recommend
30-60 minutes. While you are meditating, do not think about anything else at
all. If, while you're trying to relax, you begin thinking about your startup,
or any other problems, stop and go back to listening to your breath.

The advantage of meditation and Yoga over guns or sports or even martial arts
is that you can meditate almost anywhere, and mental discipline is useful for
virtually everything.

------
DanielBMarkham
I like doing complex things that require your full attention or you die. Stuff
like rock-climbing (although I'm too out of shape to do that) Strenuous hiking
is great -- wish I did more of it. The trick is that if you have an analytical
and goal-intensive mind, like I suppose many of us do, you may have to try
some unusual things to beat it into neutral gear.

I've found that even out of shape old farts like me can get the same results
by simply raising your pulse to about 80-90% of max for an hour or so. If you
do this using smart exercise equipment, it does all the work of figuring out
how hard you should be working. Somewhere around minute 20 or so I find myself
relaxing mentally, although the physical part is a little painful. Your mind
begins to wander. At this point, once you're used to it, you can easily slip
into a very meditative state. Focus on a point, recite a mantra, relax your
mind. This reminds me of the same feeling I had when I ran, except you don't
get the great feeling of being outdoors. On the good side, you don't have to
worry about dogs, traffic, or slippery roads.

Best thing about all of that is that you get a great endorphin rush when
you're done for the next few hours.

My problem is that I'm always trying to hack my way out of relaxing -- using
less time, gulping a Red Bull instead of doing my workout, etc. I'm slowly
learning that this isn't something you can take shortcuts with, but it's a
lesson I have a hard time with. I guess my mindset is that if you can make a
computer do something really cool in ten minutes you should be able to hack
your body-mind the same way, but it doesn't work like that.

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jsmcgd
Read some fiction. Really helps to stop thinking about things in your world.

------
pistoriusp
Here is a little song I wrote:

You might want to sing it note for note

Don't worry... Be happy

In every life we have some trouble

When you worry you make it double

Don't worry... Be happy...

------
Hexayurt
Try a little book called "The Calm Technique" by, I think, Paul Wilson (?).

Simple, excellent introductory meditation.

But that takes time to build momentum. As at least one great yogi said "water
will clean the mind faster than the mind can clean the mind."

Hot tubs and swimming, particularly in natural water (not a chlorinated pool)
will get most of the junk that meditation will take care of eventually in a
much faster and more expedient way. Oh, and consider a mouth guard when you
sleep, so you don't grind your damn teeth away!

------
aswanson
Alcohol in moderation, combined with relaxing music can be good. Hanging out
with friends...

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robg
Martial arts - get out and start fighting yourself, people, and bags. You'll
not only de-stress but you'll also learn to defend yourself - physically and
mentally. I wouldn't have made it through grad school without 6 - 8 hours of
practice a week.

~~~
qaexl
I've noticed using martial arts as a means to de-stress yourself lowers the
quality of your martial arts and rots away your skills.

~~~
robg
I guess it just depends on your approach. I learned to put less effort into
each technique with more training - I used to muscle everything. In the
process, I learned to calm myself until the point of impact. 2 hours of that
3-4x a week made all the difference in my personal sanity. It become a moving
meditation with practical applications.

~~~
qaexl
The strategy I was taught was to be completely relaxed, yet I was not able to
do that until as recently as six months ago. This is after four years of
training. I've finally figured out how to inflict damage while being relaxed
even during the point of impact and following through. I'm still not
completely relaxed

I've made it a point to never train when I'm angry or distressed. (People get
the wrong idea when they see bruises on my fists and I mention they are from
working out on my punching bag). Anger is my default coping mechanism for
stress. It is foolish, yet that is what it is. I once did a 3-mile repetition
of kata while I was angry, and it destroyed my skills. It took three months to
rebuild it back up from the basics.

I did finally find an effective technique for dealing with anger. It requires
me to drop everything else in the world and immediately deal with the anger --
that nothing in my life is more important than dealing with it right at the
moment. That's a huge investment of time, though it was eventually worth it
when I got less angry and required less interventions.

I can see how, if you're deliberately training yourself to relax during
martial arts training, you de-stress yourself during training. You also learn
how to stay relaxed while stress is applied to you (during free-sparring). And
in fact, for this person who asked the question ... the skill in being able to
drop into being physically calm and centered would let him unclench his teeth
and keep going.

However, as I mentioned in the other reply about meditation -- there are
people who dedicated their whole lives to just meditation and relaxation. It
is difficult enough to continue training wen you're exclusively dedicated to
martial arts, let alone dedicating yourself exclusively to a startup and you
happen to use martial arts with the expectation that it will de-stress you ...
so that you can continue the startup, rather than developing martial prowess.

I will say this though. I might have learned how to relax from meditation
practice, but I learned how to persevere from martial arts. "Keep going, keep
playing." That was definitely worth the price.

~~~
robg
Yes, yes, during free-sparing absolutely. You get that flood of adrenaline and
have to learn to control it. And perseverance, I agree completely - to keep
going when you think you have nothing left to give.

I'd say it took me three to four years to really start to understand the power
and force of relaxation. But even then, people practice these skills for a
lifetime and I still have a ways to go.

For me, practice became a solace and timeout. Just stopping from thinking
about work for those 6-8 hours a week was extremely helpful. By focusing on
the techniques, it became a meditation.

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mikesabat
Hey man,

I am having serious relaxation issues also. I'm working a fulltime job and a
startup. I have definitely helped me to start running and working out.

If you are at all spiritual, read the book Be Here Now by Baba Ram Dass. It
will put things in perspective and calm you down a bit.

Cheers -

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CHIEFARCHITECT
Recommend YiQuan. It is a set of Chinese standing exercise similar to Taiji
and Yoga,that uses a simple visualization approach.

<http://jadedragon.com/archives/martarts/yiquan01.html>

Good luck.

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altay
Meditation and yoga. Seriously.

~~~
jkush
Never tried yoga, but meditation is fantastic and not just for relaxation. I
haven't meditated for awhile but I did very frequently for a few years and it
taught me a lot about myself.

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rms
See a therapist? If you don't have any underlying issues that need to be
addressed, they can teach you relaxation techniques better than a Google
search for "relaxation."

You could also see a dentist to get a mouth guard made.

------
cturner
It _may_ be a sign that you need to have your wisdom teeth out. I used to use
the pressure from my wisdom teeth as a measure of stress, and then eventually
got them taken out.

Also, I find when I get that pressure before going to bed it's a sign that I'm
going to grind my teeth. I sit up, give the jaws a relaxing rub, maybe prepare
myself for some reading and the expectation that I won't be at work early next
day, then have a good sleep.

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adrianwaj
Massage your jaw under your chin with your thumb before you go to bed and/or
when you catch yourself clenching.

Also use your fingers to massage the outside of the chin at those times.

Find out the source of your worries and destroy your fear by making those
tough choices that you may be avoiding. What are you worrying about if you
love the startup? Would you rather be somewhere else? Do you sense something
bad?

------
marcus
Meditation & Clubbing A perfect Yin Yang of chaotic movement and stillness.

Also a nice scotch with some Miles Davis in the background works great.

------
jey
Has anyone tried Transcendental Meditation? I'm really interested in learning
meditation, but if I have to buy into some spiritual or New Agey mumbo-jumbo
it'd kill the mood for me and I won't be able to get into it. I basically want
some kind of relaxing empirical approach to studying one's own consciousness,
awareness, etc.

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dood
Yoga, meditation and all those are great, but for simple quick fix I recommend
breathing deeply, slowly and comfortably. When you get tense, or feel like
relaxing, focus for a moment on your heartbeat and breathing, and give a
little part of your brain to slowing both down a bit. Repeat as necessary.

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german
Sports.

~~~
ivankirigin
Generally, strenuous physical activity is very good for concentration and
relaxation. Sports are good. Chopping wood is lots of fun. Competitive
Timberman Challenges are probably the best option.

~~~
immad
really?! I want to do one, how does ones start with chopping wood in San
Francisco?

~~~
ivankirigin
Just go to any park with an axe and run away when you see the cops. Drum
circle disruption is a good cool down activity.

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innernode
I play Floyd songs on my guitars or ride my Ducati - when the lousy weather
here in Norway allows it. Actually, I have also found that listening to
bineural beats a la Holosync really helps me take a powernap when needed :)

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mxh
Guns. Seriously. Marksmanship is a simple thing that takes a lot of focus.
Concentrate on the front sight, mind your breathing, squeeze gently .... it's
like meditation, only less sissy. (j/k!)

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imsteve
More coffee:)

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motoko
YouPorn.com: the best of "web 2.0"

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inovica
yoga works wonders for me. Started it 5 months ago and the mental side has
been amazing. Sure I am not super flexible, but its not competitive - give it
a go and remove any preconceptions you may have about it

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sanj
Sex.

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nextmoveone
I was really wondering why my teeth were shifting!!

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kyro
I usually sleep.

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tlrobinson
not caffeine

------
eusman
cold shower

