
Ask HN: Why did this post cost me 10% of subscribers? - danielflopes
A few days ago I published a post with the title: In 2014, if you want happiness, choose work<p>After this post my number of subscribers decreased almost 10%. This made me curious: why did this happen?<p>Was it because of my tone? Was because of some bad english? Or was because people don&#x27;t agree with my point? And if it is because of this last one, why not?<p>I&#x27;m interested in knowing the point of view from the people of HN.<p>EDIT: I forgot the url for the blog post - http:&#x2F;&#x2F;danielflopes.com&#x2F;choosework&#x2F;
======
CJefferson
The problem is you appear to live in a fantasy land. I only read the second
paragraph, but it is one of the stupidest things I've ever read (sorry, that
is a harsh thing to say, but I think this requires a reply this strong).

"Work from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep. Take your breakfast
while reviewing your to-do list for the day. Work a few hours. At lunch,
discuss with your team what’s the best solution for that problem. Work some
more. At dinner, have a great meal with your loving ones and tell them what’s
going on with work. Feel free to ask them for their opinion. After that, go
back to work, of course – it’s time to answer to those emails, and read a
decent book about a topic of your industry. Have a good night’s sleep."

This is incredibly self-centered. What about what your loved ones have been up
to (as one tiny example?). And god-forbid you have any children. You need to
get THEM breakfast on a morning. Perhaps, maybe, you should spend some time
with your "loved ones" on an evening, other than just telling them about your
work over dinner then disappearing off to work?

I would hate to be your "loved one".

CLARIFYING EDIT: This isn't intended to be a personal attack on Daniel's life
(which I don't know anything about), just my raw opinions as I read the first
two paragraphs of his blog article, hopefully to help him understand why some
people took harshly against it.

~~~
3am
"I would hate to be your loved one."

Is there any need to be that mean spirited about it?

I think a sizeable quiet minority is underwhelmed by the work ethic
philosophies discussions on HN. I don't think I'd go as far as the submitter,
but I don't think I'd categorize it as "incredibly self-centered".

edit: to the submitter, I don't think it was bad english or your tone. Some
people are unable to consume opinions they disagree with. My unsolicited
advice: just continue to be true to yourself and write what you think, you can
never keep certain people happy.

~~~
CJefferson
You are right, what I have written comes across as a personal attack and I'm
sorry for that. I should have said "I would hate to be the loved one described
in the first two paragraphs of this article". However, I do stand by this
adjusted point -- I would not stay in a relationship which operated as
described in the first two paragraphs of this article (which, to clarify, I'm
not saying is how Daniel's relationship really is -- just how his blog post
comes across).

~~~
3am
I try to avoid posting about tone because I don't think they add to the
discussion and a lot of the time aren't received well. Thanks for the
response.

And I don't entirely disagree with you either... my read of the post was it
was an exhortation to be passionate about purposeful about work, not really an
itinerary planner around one's day. But if I interpreted it differently, I
would have a different opinion. I also think the work/dinner discussion
suggestion was something I'd try very hard to avoid in my own life :)

~~~
danielflopes
Thank you both for the responses. It was my intention to hear the opinion of
the HN community. But, may you agree or not with my post, I believe a good
discussion should always be about giving some constructive feedback in a
friendly tone.

Thanks CJefferson for clarifying your response. Thanks 3am for the giving the
heads up. Sincerely.

------
kohanz
OP, do you have a family (e.g. significant other, kids)? The post reads a bit
preachy. When I read this, I think: the only type of person who would
recommend this lifestyle is an early 20-something male who doesn't have much
else going in their lives. That may or may not be correct (and it shows as
much about my own personal bias as it does about the post), and even if it is
correct, that's not a bad thing since if that's the significant demographic
that you might be aiming for.

However, if you have subscribers who have a life at home, with family, that
they enjoy, or just enjoy hobbies that are not congruent with making a living,
I can see why they felt alienated by this post.

~~~
danielflopes
I consider myself to have a good life. I'm not always in the office working,
and I actually spend a lot of time working out and taking care of my best
friends and meeting new people.

I only try to minimize doing what in nothing contributes to my life or the
others around me. That's why, for example, I like to read books that in
someway intersect what I do in my job. But that doesn't mean that I never try
new stuff and read a good one like "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle
Maintenance".

And for me, the best way to not "waste time" is by trying to merge your job
with what you want with your life, since we already spend so much time on it.

 __

I do not have kids. I 've recently started a relationship, and I admit that
I've been asking myself what's the best way to balance these. I get your
point.

~~~
jwcrux
Daniel, you seem as though you have good intentions, but allow me to give a
word of advice - feel free to take it or leave it.

You say you just got in a relationship. If you want it to work - choose the
relationship more than you choose work. I know from experience, because I used
to have a similar mentality. It goes something like this:

If I want to have the most fulfilling life possible, I should make "progress"
every day. I feel as though I have the capability and drive to be the best, so
I have the _responsibility_ to be the best. If I'm not working, there is
someone else out there who is working, and that means I'm "wasting time".
Relaxing = being lazy.

Those people who just socialize and play video games? How can they not see how
much time they are wasting on a meaningless life! Everyone should spend their
time doing things that are "productive" to better their skillset. Otherwise,
they are lazy and unmotivated.

Simply put- this is being a workaholic. Through college, I was the same way,
and it cost me a lot of missed opportunities. The most dangerous workaholic is
one who thinks that it's healthy and good for them.

Don't get me wrong - be motivated, enjoy what you do, etc. But _have balance_.
I was fortunate enough to meet my (now wife) who showed me that it's ok to
take a break. It's not "being unproductive" or "wasting time" \- it's building
a relationship. It's ok (and often necessary) to drop everything and spend
time focused on making the relationship better.

In your post, you mentioned Mr. Walton. Let's briefly talk about him. While I
don't know if the source is true (ref. needed), Consider this post [1] that
talks about his last words: "I blew it". While it's my opinion, I strongly
believe you can make a bigger impact in this world through the relationships
you build as opposed to the work you do.

So, it's great that you're motivated and driven - it means you'll be good at
whatever you do. But don't think poorly of those who do things differently,
and put their efforts into different outlets. It doesn't mean they're somehow
less productive of a person than you. In fact, I would recommend working to
break away from the workaholic mentality. Just like forcing yourself to get a
good night's sleep, it will be tough at first, and you will feel like your
"being unproductive", but it will make your relationship - and your life -
much better.

[1] [http://upstart.bizjournals.com/resources/executive-
forum/201...](http://upstart.bizjournals.com/resources/executive-
forum/2013/07/16/mike-michalowicz-on-sam-walton.html?page=all)

~~~
danielflopes
With my blogpost, I didn't mean that you should put work before your family
and friends (or at least didn't want to mean that). I didn't mean that playing
a good videogame is a waste of time if that makes you feel better.

I try to always be aware when I'm not giving enough time to my family and
friends (building relationships). Some times I do stuff like, taking a random
trip to somewhere in the woods just to see what happens or what nature has to
show me, without any goal in mind.

BUT, I do understand that you think that I don't do this. I understand why
with this post I seem such a workaholic. (Maybe I am, but not as much I seem
to look in this post.)

AND, even though I spend a good time with my family and friends, I'm not
saying that I shouldn't spend more. Maybe I should. (I'm just thinking out
loud.)

My point here is that we should strive to try to work on something that's
aligned with our life goals - and those may include spending time with your
family, traveling or building a charity institution. This way, work would have
other meaning to us.

Thank you very much for the article and your thoughtful response.

------
byoung2
You seem to be promoting a recipe for burnout, and that's not a popular
viewpoint on HN. Of course you need to work hard at anything to be successful,
whether it's sports, art, or a startup, but you need to have balance. For
example, after dinner I like to read Dr. Seuss to my 14 month old daughter
rather than books about programming or startups. When she's asleep, my wife
and I like to watch crime dramas on TV. I like that my work stays between
business hours and after that, it's family time.

~~~
danielflopes
True, my post's recipe, taken to the fullest, probably will lead to burnout. I
should have clarified that.

Thanks for your examples.

------
PeterWhittaker
Let me paraphrase you, or meta-phrase, if you will: "What you are doing now,
what you are passionate about now, is the be-all and end-all of your life! You
need nothing else! Do it 24/7! If you choose to do something other than this,
then choose something uplifting, something that supports and reinforces your
view of the world! Because it is right! And the only one!"

Dude. Chill. Where is your time for discovery? You say "travel, sure", but
then you say "Forget the idea about how much fun others are getting in the
Caribbean Islands."

WTF? How will ever know if you like snorkeling or scuba diving or trapeze or
archery, or various other idle pursuits that one discovers when one unplugs?

It is possible to have multiple passions. The one you have now is just that:
One. Allow yourself time and space to find others.

"Humans are wired for growth." I don't even know what that means. Humans
aren't wired for much other than eating, defecating, and breathing. Everything
else is a choice, an itch. Don't over-glorify yours. Don't over-glorify what
works right now. Because things change.

If you are lucky, you'll discover the changes while you are still young and
fit enough to enjoy them.

Chain yourself to your current passion, for the rest of your life, and
somewhere along the line you will wonder when you traded your monastic cell of
devotion for solitary confinement.

~~~
danielflopes
Please see my response to jwcrux ;)

Link:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7007119](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7007119)

------
brohee
Warning: harsh. I had to google it seems you didn't deem us worthy of reading
the piece in its entirety. So here it is
[http://danielflopes.com/choosework/](http://danielflopes.com/choosework/)

The title is the least issues with the post. The post is content free, pushing
anecdotal evidence (the Sam Walton thing) as data, and stating some pretty
important things like "Humans are wired to growth. Long lasting happiness
comes from setting big goals and meeting them. It comes from the joy of
achievement, in the thrill of creative effort." without any supporting
evidence.

I would guess the people who unsubscribed followed the spirit of your article,
and unsubscribed because their time is too precious to read drivel from a
random nobody with no discernible achievement... The right to tell people how
to run their live is pretty hard to gain.

~~~
danielflopes
Yes, a bit harsh. But helpful. Thank you

------
ars
I would unsubscribe too, because I quite disagree with this viewpoint.

I agree with the basic idea that humans need to do stuff to be happy - but not
work necessarily. Taking care of kids is _also_ doing something. Making a nice
meal instead of microwaving, is also doing something. Those things bring
satisfaction as well.

~~~
danielflopes
Ok. But I don't say the contrary - doing those things can also make you happy.

But using our job to achieve our life goals is one of the best ways to achieve
happiness, in my opinion.

Thank you

~~~
farinasa
It just feels to me like you are over elevating the prestige of "our job".
What life goals do you have if all you do is work? I do like taking solace in
my job and just shutting out the world sometimes. Otherwise I enjoy concerts,
travel, family, cooking/cuisine, woodworking, mechanics, gardening, reading
novels, learning about art, botany, physics, rocket science, camping, fishing,
hunting, and so many more things.

Accomplishment can be achieved in so many ways. A life spent _only_ working
seems like such a waste. Dying people generally don't regret the things they
did do but instead the things they _didn 't_ do.

Go live. Life is such an amazing thing to experience. There are so many
sights, sounds, smells, and experiences to be had. I can't justify not
attempting to discover as many as I possibly can in the short, insignificant
span of time that I will be here. Putting yourself in new, uncomfortable
situations will increase your creativity way beyond what working and reading
technical books could even come close to.

------
amouat
It makes very depressing and uninspiring reading; I don't want to think of my
life as being consumed by work.

I think you just need a slightly different angle: many happy people have a
driving project or belief that inspires them. I think that's what you meant to
say. And it's different from "work", which is a four letter synonym for
drudgery.

~~~
danielflopes
Thanks. That's helpful.

------
ThomPete
You lost 10% because you claim things that only 22 year olds do and thus wont
be delivering insights to people 32.

You have much to learn yet, we all do :)

~~~
danielflopes
This HN discussion is leading me to that conclusion :)

------
jamesbrownuhh
I wasn't a reader of your blog previously, but from the sidebar I take it to
be about optimising your activities and effort - work smarter, not harder,
that kind of thing. So really I'm guessing that an audience seeking those kind
of tips is going to be mildly surprised or discouraged by an article which, in
the first few sentences, basically seems to say "work all the time, every
chance you get." \- Chances are that such content is the absolute opposite of
what your audience came for and is expecting.

Some way down you do then introduce the idea that time is precious and it
should not be wasted "consuming low quality content" \- and not saying that
your blog is low quality at all, but this sentence does plant a very powerful
seed. Don't waste time with things you don't want to read or which are not
interesting or relevant to your interests.

The combination of the two could be a one-two punch, at least for some people.
If people have not enjoyed the article, the immediate reaction may well be to
"unsubscribe now."

~~~
danielflopes
That's an insightful point! TY

------
loumf
Probably because the post was incongruous with why they subscribed in the
first place. 10% of what number? Which post gets you the most subscriptions?

Picking Sam Walton as a role-model of happiness is unsubstantiated -- he was
definitely rich, so a better title might be: "If you want money, work more"
\-- which is essentially what you wrote.

~~~
danielflopes
I picked Sam Walton because I've been reading his auto biography, and he seems
to be a good example of someone who really loved his job. Also, his family
didn't consider him an absent father. He was someone who managed to merge his
job, his family and his life goals in an harmonious way.

Is 10% of around 100. Tt's a small number, I know... but it still is 10% ...
=/

~~~
Iftheshoefits
Sam Walton came from a family who weathered the Great Depression very well and
married into a family which was able to lend him a significant sum of money
for the period in order to "bootstrap" his business.

Walton, like so many other people who are incredibly successful, started out
of the gate far ahead of most of his peers. As a result, he isn't what I'd
consider a good example to use for the average person when it comes to work
and balancing career with family.

------
chany2
I actually agree with your post. And subscribed to you afterwards.

I often encounter the same issue.

////

Typical Example: Friends ask me what I am doing over the weekend? I said I got
some work to do. I have to learn NodeJs, figure out how to parse BCC address
off an email, focus on my UI and UX design for my email app, go do more
research on hashtags for emails, etc...

What I cited there are not "work" per say as coined in most people's mind as
the dreary 8 hour work life.

What I am actually saying is "I GOT A PROBLEM I AM PASSIONATED IN SOLVING. I
AM GOING TO SPEND MY WEEKEND AND NIGHTS RESEARCHING TO SOLVE IT BECAUSE ITS
FUN. IT IS MY VIDEOGAME, AND MY WAY OF GAINING SATISFACTION TO IMPROVE
MYSELF."

////

 __ __So basically if you replaced "In 2014, if you want happiness, choose
work" with "In 2014, if you want happiness, choose PASSION". No one would
unsubscribe.

~~~
danielflopes
You said it well:

"What I cited there are not "work" per say as coined in most people's mind as
the dreary 8 hour work life."

And yes, I understand your point: work can be enjoyed to the point it feels
like a videogame!

Anyhow, the words and the tone I choose maybe weren't the best to communicate
what I mean.

Thanks for the feedback (and thanks for subscribing!).

~~~
Vaskivo
For me, that's the gist of it. When you say 'work' I associate the word with
'job work'.

I enjoy programming and reading about programming. And I do it. And I know the
same reactions like "You're programming outside your job??". Now the main
difference between you and me is that I do these things because I enjoy them,
while you do them for the benefits they bring (knowledge, portfolio, etc).

I am a bit of an hedonist, and try to do stuff I ENJOY, regardless of the
benefits they bring. Example: I like good food. And I like experimenting new
kinds of dishes. But I don't like cooking. SO I rarely make elaborate dishes
(I usually eat something quickly made). I don't go for the good dishes because
I don't enjoy to process to get there! (In university it was common for me to
lose way too much time in a project or subject that I enjoyed, and then having
to pull one nighters to study for another)

Now regarding job work. I am Portuguese, and I believe we have a cultural bias
that "job work" is not enjoyable. I share that opinion, in a weird way. To me,
I shouldn't love my job. I'm not saying I hate my job, in fact, it has it's
fun moments. But it's not my ideal way to spend a day. The momentss where you
don't want to get off your bed to go to work, our your, once again,
implementing something tedious, that's when I realised what having a job is
like.

But not loving your job, to me, IS A GOOD THING! It keeps me focused on my
objectives. I have hobbies and a girlfriend. My jobs gives me money to travel,
buy stuff, and pamper myself and the gf. And eat tasty and expensive food :)

------
mathattack
With all due respect I can absolutely see why many people would no longer be
interested in your opinions after such a self-centered post. This might be the
path to achieving something big, but it also the path to loneliness. If you
can't take off for even 15 minutes at a meal to talk about what's important
for your family, then you can't expect them to really care about your work
either.

"At dinner, have a great meal with your _loving_ ones and tell them what’s
going on with work."

I can only think what Freud might. They might be _loving_ but they're not
_loved_ and they won't be _loving_ for long.

It is the content that might disturb folks, not your English. That you don't
perceive this might be part of the problem.

------
metaphorm
what you wrote is a post that has little meaningful content or new
information. it is a short and (in my opinion) poorly written opinion piece
exhorting people to adopt a life style that many consider destructive and
counter productive.

~~~
danielflopes
Thank you

------
danielflopes
The url to the blog post:
[http://danielflopes.com/choosework/](http://danielflopes.com/choosework/)

~~~
colinbartlett
Worst. Idea. Ever.

Stop for a moment and think about what you're promoting: exactly the opposite
of most HN readers's want: a work-centric life and an existence that's
obsessed with more money, more knowledge, more power.

------
lazyant
it's very hard to take seriously advice over long lasting happiness from a 22
year old.

~~~
danielflopes
Ok. That's a valid argument.

------
amirouche
I share the same point of view “choose work” thing. Even if I agree with you,
reading the post
([http://danielflopes.com/choosework/](http://danielflopes.com/choosework/)),
at least the first part of it, makes it feel like it's some kind of a military
life, while it's not the case, at least on my side. It's all about the way you
present the thing or yourself and in this particular case the post's tone is
too much ”rude”, ”strong“, ”military“. It sound like cult propaganda. The
second part fails to lower the stress the first part provide. Form advice: The
text must be longer, with citations & explanations. Content advice: Work Work
Work. What does it mean anyway? When I learn a new technology, I don't feel
like I'm working, when I code at home most of the time I don't feel like I'm
working... What is significant in my particular case is ”focus (on the
craft)”. CS is my passion, I want to learn it, but that's not the only thing I
do, as working on any target also means that I need to take the time to break
the loop to breath fresh air (with or without focus on self-improvement). Good
focus needs a balanced-life.

~~~
danielflopes
Great!

Yes, my tone may look like i'm doing some propaganda. I hesitated writting
with this way, but I hit publish anyway to see what happened. But it's true,
it doesn't feel natural.

Thank you very much for all the other constructive feedback!

------
workaholic
Trying to take as objective a view here as possible...

The present hacker zeitgeist disagrees with your viewpoint. Your post came at
a particularly bad time, as this post is fresh on the collective's mind:

[http://sethbannon.com/vacations-are-for-the-
weak](http://sethbannon.com/vacations-are-for-the-weak)

~~~
danielflopes
That may be true - "the present hacker zeitgeist" may disagree with my point
of view. Today there's an emerging trend towards working less and spending
more time with family and your hobbies (in some way, the newest book from
37signals supports that).

And, well, I don't disagree with that! Neither do I disagree in taking off
some vacations, if that makes you feel better (and/or more productive).

But my point here is that we should strive to try to work on something that's
aligned with our life goals - and those may include spending time with your
family, traveling or building a charity. This way, work would have other
meaning to us.

~~~
DanielStraight
So your point is... to be happy, choose work, where work is defined as what
will make you happy?

~~~
pessimizer
That's the problem: vacuousness. If work is defined as what makes you happy,
there's no choice to be made.

------
tremols
I believe that people is starting to get sick of this over-narcisistic trend
in blogging where you imply that you are a genious because you cracked X
secret of life and you are going to share it with the less enlightened masses.
Its going to backfire unless you provide a truly genius or novel insight.

------
loftsy
A lot of satisfaction, inspiration and personal growth in life comes from
leisure time. Enjoying a glass of wine with a friend, meeting a new person. In
the end its the people in your life you will remember and who will remember
you. Not your achievements.

~~~
danielflopes
I agree with the people side. I forgot to insert that point on my post.

But I don't agree that your achievements aren't also one of the biggest
sources of happiness. If that weren't true, why did so much people obsessed
with goals like climbing the mount Everest and winning the super bowl, or
having rich people continuously building new companies?

------
piyush_soni
@OP, Read this- Top 5 regrets of the dying:
[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/03/top-5-regrets-of-
th...](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/03/top-5-regrets-of-the-
dying_n_3640593.html)

:)

~~~
danielflopes
Not new, but it's never bad to re-read that article. ;)

Please see my response to jwcrux:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7007119](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7007119)

------
angersock
It's entirely possible that your post just tripped a lot of people's "Oh, it's
the end of the year, I should clean out my subscriptions".

That said...

A quick reading suggests that your message is "choose work, because that means
you are doing what you care about (work)". Even if that isn't capturing the
subtlety of your message, that's probably what most took away from it.

The "work work work" message doesn't go down well these days, especially
because the zeitgeist is that companies are squeezing us folks dry. Asking
people to bring their work into every facet of their lives is a bit much, to
be honest--and I'm saying this as someone who does just that.

A message of "do what you are passionate about", or "take pride in your work",
or pretty much anything else would have gone better; otherwise, you come
across as "become worker drone beep boop".

Read _The Jungle_ for a good perspective on how focusing on your work screws
you.

~

Some miscellaneous gripes:

Use an Oxford comma
([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serial_comma](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serial_comma))
in your sidebar about snippet:

"...for happiness, integrity and success." => "...for happiness, integrity,
and success."

The choice of light-grey-white in the bottom of your about page is brutal--
especially the "Me around the web". Why not use the little badges everyone is
used to there, anyways, or in your sidebar?

Your about page also has the worst-formatted quote (from Chuck Palahniuk, no
less, who would laugh at your article I think) block I've seen in a while. You
need to set the author's name off from the text, and fix the top padding.
Fixing the colors wouldn't hurt either.

Also, the picture in your sidebar can best be described as 'slackjawed', the
hover version 'imbecillic'. If you're trying to write about how to become
rich, famous, and fulfilled, I'd suggest not looking like a stereotypical
college kid/PFY.

~~~
danielflopes
Thank you very very much. I will take that into account to improve my blog and
next blog posts.

------
yaongi
The article is very opinionated, with bolded sentences, repeated phrasing, and
is mainly imperatives.

The immediate response for me is 'some other fucker is telling me I have to
work now?'

Work means different things for different people.

Also, I guess your opinion is actually more nuanced than the article implies,
and though I still might not appreciate it, I wouldn't be as annoyed if the
article was an honest exploration instead of a rushed polemic.

~~~
danielflopes
Thank you. That helps. Maybe I will re-write the post one day to give it a
more natural and humble tone.

------
octatone2
"Work from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep."

Depressing as fuck.

------
ishiboy
you guys are idiots - they unsubscribed because most its the start of 2014 and
they have been meaning to fix their inbox spam a while and finally have the
motivation to do it.

------
mindcrime
FWIW, I _mostly_ agree with your post. I would subscribe, but I couldn't find
the RSS feed link.

~~~
danielflopes
I thought every RSS reader automatically captured the RSS link if you give
them the url for the blog.

Anyhow, here it goes :
[http://danielflopes.com/rss](http://danielflopes.com/rss)

;)

------
malditojavi
How big the sampling of that 10% is?

~~~
danielflopes
10% of 100 (more or less).

It isn't much, I know... but it still is 10%

------
lurkinggrue
How old is the OP?

~~~
danielflopes
23

------
6d0debc071
I remembering being told something very similar about university. But I got
the degree and it was nothing to me. Achieving hard things is not innately
rewarding, at least not for everyone. Maybe it's rewarding if your goal is
meaningful, but how many people honestly have meaningful jobs? Wiring in
another CRUD app? Shoot me now.

If people enjoyed their work that much, they wouldn't probably need you to
advise them to do it. For someone who's struggling with their work life
balance, it's far from clear that 'Work more!' is the answer to their
happiness.

I know that, before I started only seriously coding a few hours a day and
taking three day weekends, and spending the rest of the time on less focused
stuff like meetings and planning and mentoring our newbies (favourite work-
related activity), I basically had to take a long break from working every
couple of years just to recuperate; get my mental ducks in a line, do some
stuff that has nothing to do with work. Something I worry that you may not
realise is that, for some people, focus and creativity are finite resources.

What fuels those resources? Well, it seems to vary. Among other things, I
enjoy swimming, reading fan-fiction of varying quality, and martial arts. I
don't think I could function as a programmer if I didn't do those things.

There was a time - back with the open-plan office coincidentally - when I
didn't. When I was just getting into programming and it was all work work
work. Sure, I'll pull the weekend, sure I'll help with this. I just wanted to
make people happy.

Eventually I noticed I was tired _all the time_ , and my creativity and all
the fun ideas I used to have just weren't there for me any more. I even
stopped dreaming, and feeling emotionally connected to people. Not in a
metaphorical sense, I was just so mentally knackered that I went to sleep and
woke up in the morning with the impression no time had passed and not even a
fleeting image of what I'd been dreaming. People would smile at me and it
didn't make me feel happy any more.

Would the answer for me really have been to work more?

Your advice may be very good for some people, but in so far as you don't know
everyone, it's probably a bit risky in terms of how people are going to
respond to tell everyone to do it.

Would I have unsubscribed? No, not if I found what you were saying in other
respects worthwhile - I understand that you probably just want to help people
and that's a nice thing, so I'd go with the benefit of the doubt rather than
the content of the post. (Like when someone wishes me Merry Christmas - so
what if I'm not a Christian? They want me to be happy, so Merry Christmas
too!) But not everyone's going to see it like that, and writing it as more
like, "What I've found make _me_ happy at the moment." Potentially offers less
that someone might take offence to if it's harder to read it as a statement
about how you think they should live their lives. ^_^

