

Ask HN: Multiple awesome work opportunities - advice? - totally_torn

So, I currently have a couple of amazing opportunities (that I&#x27;m incredibly thankful to have) and I&#x27;m hoping some fellow HN&#x27;ers who have been in this situation can give me some advice.<p>A few facts about me: 
- Under 25
- Engaged
- 1 year-old son<p>I&#x27;m a senior-level front-end developer, mid-level Node.js developer, senior-level designer (UI &amp; UX&#x2F;web), and have a decent amount of auxiliary knowledge and experience (enough to be a successful freelancer before joining my current employer).<p>I&#x27;m happy with everything about my current employment but the pay, and it doesn&#x27;t look like that&#x27;s going to change soon.<p>I have been contracting with a startup in San Francisco for the past couple of months, with the intent of joining them full-time once they raise more funds. I live pretty far away from SF, so if I moved there it would be a big deal and I&#x27;d like to be there for a long time (at least 2-3 years). I&#x27;m worried about how much time I&#x27;d spend working at this company (I&#x27;ve been made to understand there will be a LOT of burning the midnight oil) but I also believe this company has serious potential.<p>My other opportunity is to co-found another development shop with a co-worker. We&#x27;ve worked closely and pair-programmed on several projects at my current job (with great results).  We both have pretty sharp business acumen, and I&#x27;d consider us good friends. We plan on growing into a products company along the lines of 37Signals&#x2F;JetBrains&#x2F;Atlassian.<p>Both have decent risk profiles, but I&#x27;m confident that if either didn&#x27;t work out I&#x27;d find a way to keep food on the table.<p>Just the act of writing this down has helped me clarify my thoughts, but I&#x27;d really appreciate any advice you guys&#x2F;gals can give (and don&#x27;t worry about my feelings - if I sound crazy, tell it like is).<p>Thanks a bunch!
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johnnyg
You don't sound like you can't miss too badly. Many good options.

Decide now, before you get drawn in, what your specific minimum acceptable
financial and family time goals are.

If you are going to burn the midnight oil, you get less time with your son and
your soon to be wife. Talk to her about it. You want to be a unified team that
has a battle plan that you both support and work toward.

Those things you name and want, be sure you are measuring them and getting
them. If you succeed and make a lot of money, it can feel right to chase the
money long after you've made plenty. If that is a choice you made and own,
that's good. If it is a place you wake up and find yourself in, that is not
good, even if the result is good.

If you set family as your top thing, don't go home to strangers. Don't be the
always too exhausted to interact guy.

If you set money as the top thing, make sure your wife is part of that path
and not some other ball you have to try impossibly to hold up. Do this either
by her direct participation or by taking the time to keep her looped in when
you get home - but do it. She is on your team and you are on hers.

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soboleiv
Flip a coin and see if you feel you agree with the result internally.

Also I'd like to remind you that there are other fancy choices other than the
two - think what you would like to have in your life first.

~~~
totally_torn
I was actually just about to post a comment, totally forgot to mention my
priorities.

My family is my top priority - both spending time with them, and providing a
comfortable (but not extravagant) lifestyle.

Second priority is not working myself to the bone. I consider myself a hard
worker, and I'm willing to put in an all-nighter where it's needed, but
anything over 50 hours per week is not cool.

Finally, I'd like a job where I enjoy my work and have room to grow. I know I
won't love every minute of it no matter what I do, but as long as it's not a
grind and there's a (fairly) direct relationship between hours in and reward
out, I'm game.

I'm not looking to "get rich" \- there's plenty of time for that. Right now
though, between contracting and my day job, I work 60+ hours/week and I hate
it (but I need the contracting to supplement my income). I still make time for
my family but this means sacrificing sleep to make deadlines and I don't wish
to continue this any longer than I have to.

