

My Love, Hate, Love Again, Affair with Paul Graham - jkuria
http://www.gicleelife.com/love_hate_pg.php

======
ewjordan
Damn...make sure you don't miss the breakup letter he sent to his ex-gf:
<http://www.gicleelife.com/email.php>

My summary: You're kind of a pain in my ass and I can't waste time on your
Emotions if I want to be a Success. Let's be friends, cya! ;D

I hate to judge people on their personal matters, but this was published and
prominently linked, so it's fair game: that's some real cold stuff. I'm all
for ambition and wanting to succeed, and it's true that I know nothing about
the relationship (there may be plenty of other factors that change things),
but to me it's still important to maintain some level of compassion and
decency in your human interactions, especially outside of business - at least
without context, the lack of tact and general bluntness seem to indicate a
real sensitivity problem.

To me that's an entirely inappropriate way to end what you once considered a
serious relationship, not to mention the inherent cruelty of an e-mail
breakup, and the further salt-in-wound damage you inflict by posting the
letter online...

Am I alone here?

------
yan
Reminds me of: [http://daniellefong.com/2008/04/11/one-response-to-
rejection...](http://daniellefong.com/2008/04/11/one-response-to-rejection/)

People take this way too seriously.

------
philelly
i think people are going a little overboard about this. it was a humorous
essay, reflecting real events probably but told in an exaggerated style. (i do
admit that the part about the dad and girlfriend pushed the humor into
something a bit awkward.)

i thought his observations about paul's essays were pretty spot-on, and i'm
surprised few people have mentioned this.

------
tipjoy
Um, early April Fools joke? Oh and did you go to the homepage:
<http://www.gicleelife.com> ? I'm laughing, anyway.

~~~
gcheong
Looks like you could add Tim Ferris to this guy's list of "heroes"?

------
jrnkntl
Seriously, he broke up with his GF in an email?

~~~
time_management
He also posted her picture, which is (1) somewhat inapprpropriate, and (2)
makes him look even dumber, because she's absolutely gorgeous, and it sounds
like there was nothing wrong with the relationship.

If you have to dump a good relationship with a beautiful girl, _you're doing
it wrong_.

~~~
latortuga
Because her beauty is really all that matters in a relationship.

~~~
time_management
It's not, but it's all the information I have in this case. I don't know
anything about her aside from her picture, included with the essay, and what's
contained in the breakup letter.

Let's recap: he was with her for a year and thought he was going to marry her.
She's very attractive, and they look happy together. I'd argue strongly that
he'd need a very strong reason to break up with her, and the email doesn't
provide one (although it does provide her with good reason to break with him).

------
simplegeek
>> PG says all you need is a copy of K&R and a Linux box

Did PG really say this ?

~~~
delano
_"[3] Learning to hack is a lot cheaper than business school, because you can
do it mostly on your own. For the price of a Linux box, a copy of K &R, and a
few hours of advice from your neighbor's fifteen year old son, you'll be well
on your way."_

\-- <http://www.paulgraham.com/start.html>

~~~
simplegeek
Ah. Thank you.

------
mahmud
this is how good people are made into cult-figures; please do not idolize
hackers, they don't care if you do.

~~~
unalone
I'll play devil's advocate and say that it's not making the guy into a cult
figure, it's writing about one person's relationship with his writings. That
ought to happen with any good writer and thinker: they should build
relationships with people on the basis of their work alone.

I have a similar relationship with PG's essays, though mine's not a
particularly strong one. My cofounder, on the other hand, quotes PG essays a
lot, looks into a lot of the things he recommends, and definitely has had his
mindset changed a few times over the course of reading his archives. That's
what's so cool about writing! When you make an essay you're putting a part of
yourself - your opinions along with your personality - out there for anybody
to see. It builds a connection with people, _lots_ of people, on the fact of
its sheer existence.

That's not a cult. That's good writing.

~~~
mahmud
Maybe we work differently, but I certainly associate with ideas rather than
their originators. The fame of a successful work should eclipse the fame of
its author in hacking, unlike other fluffy fields of work like management and
self-help industries (hint: the "Linux Torvalds" effect.)

I don't know if it's the intention of PG to become a "Get Rich Quick" guru,
but to me he is the author of ANSI CL and On Lisp, a decent human being in the
same league as Norvig, Kent Pitman and Dick Gabriel. Actually, I like Paul
Graham more than "PG", thanks to all this idol-worshiping.

Whatever that guy wrote in his blog should have been a private email. Better
yet, a personal diary entry in _paper_.

~~~
unalone
Why? Making that stuff public should be totally fine. (I get some flack
because on my blog I write literally everything I think of, whether it's
personal relationships, religious philosophy, web design, or what ever; I get
emails regularly asking me to at least tag my various posts for easier
consumption and I refuse, because for me that's not what my blog is.)

I find a fascination with people: why they build what they do. So while I love
books, I tend to love the authors of said books just as much.

~~~
mahmud
First of all, go to the root of the website and see the promotional weight-
loss program therein (no comment.)

Secondly, go through the essay again and you will find someone who is
attributing his life choices, good or bad, to someone else who he has never
consulted, met in person or even corresponded with:

> "Alone in my room I rolled on the carpet and screamed “I love you, Paul
> Graham.” "

This is after reading "A Taste for Makers"

>"Over the next three years I must have read A Taste For Makers at least
twenty times."

Biblical exegesis?

>" I felt bad because your writings had more influence on me than my own
father."

Completely unwilling to accept/admit that his life choices, influenced by an
external input (in this case PG's writings), are still his own.

> "Admittedly I am a nobody compared to you but a part of me was a tad jealous
> of your success. "

No comment.

>At this point I figured you had completely lost it. Your stature as a guru
was toast!

See, he wants a guru.

~~~
unalone
Oh. I kind of thought he was being ridiculously over-the-top for the sake of
it. Taking this at face value makes it really creepy.

------
akkartik
Recent related thread: <http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=527064>

------
YuriNiyazov
I actually don't know why people knock on "You weren't meant to have a boss",
even the original, stronger version.

------
ssharp
Wonderful satire!

------
sho
Jesus christ. I guess this is the downside of being famous - random crazy
people start fixating upon you as their leader/friend/saviour/nemesis/soulmate
and reading all sorts of crap into every aspect of their life, when all you
were trying to do was write a decent essay. What do you even say to people
like this.

Dude .. I don't know what you are looking for, but it is almost certain you
will not find it in PG.

This kind of thing scares me, it really does. Intelligent person .. good
writing, obviously can express himself well .. but this search, this
willingness to devote himself to something, someone, anything .. this is a
serious bug in man's programming. I don't know the answer.

~~~
kirubakaran
_"Jesus Christ" ... "random crazy people start fixating upon you as their
leader/friend/saviour/nemesis/soulmate and reading all sorts of crap into
every aspect of their life"_

You may be on to something bigger than what you meant.

~~~
wensing
Call me crazy.

~~~
sho
I regret using the perjorative term "crazy". I'd change it if I could, and I
apologise for any offense caused. Unfortunately, on a rapid-fire discussion
site like this, speed is king, and we (well, I) often say things which, after
time to reflect, come across as needlessly judgemental, insulting, or
inflammatory. By then it's too late to take back one's words.

I've known many religious people, including my own sister, and while I find
serious, fundamental flaws in their capacity for logical reasoning, ability to
distinguish between reality and unreality, decision making processes, moral
worldview and attitude towards others, I wouldn't call them _crazy_ , so I
apologise again.

