

Parenting in the age of Paranoia: A Small Manifesto - bensummers
http://www.quinnnorton.com/said/?p=284

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pavelludiq
My parents were pretty overprotective. In my teens i managed to secure some
freedoms for myself by convincing my parents of my capability to not make
stupid decisions. They were still quite protective though. Im pretty sure my
social awkwardness wasn't caused by my parents paranoia, but I've noticed that
I've gotten progressively less awkward as the opportunities to make stupid
decisions grow. Its a miracle what smoking/drinking/getting high with peers
could do to your social skills.

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potatolicious
I'm still trying to undo the damage my parents' overprotectiveness has done. I
certainly appreciate their efforts to keep me safe from whatever harm they
imagined was out there, but it didn't do any favours for my social skills to
be sure.

I still feel bad that I learned most of my high school lessons in college -
and some I'm still learning now that I've entered "real life". I feel woefully
behind sometimes.

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RevRal
Removing danger from the home is the _very_ best thing that a parent can do.
All children are impressionable, and being exposed to evil early will effect
the rest of their life. So, as long as you have that handled (as good as it
can be handled), then your child will be mostly okay.

Of course, we'd need a very good definition of evil.

Also, Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway
Alone:[http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/why-i-let-
my-9...](http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/why-i-let-my-9-year-
old-ride-the-subway-alone/)

~~~
cadr
Little confused - remove 'danger' or remove 'evil'? Surely they are different
things.

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petercooper
Totally agree with this piece. I remember a childhood like that (though it
didn't go as far as swimming in the ocean alone) and it's sad so many kids
don't get that now and are instead cooped up indoors playing games consoles
and watching TV.

That said, the world has definitely changed. While I'd agree that the world is
actually _safer_ now than ever before, I think people and the sense of
community necessary to raise children is significantly worse than when I was a
kid - at least here in the UK. People ignore children in a way they never did
before - see <http://is.gd/51r7d> \- from fears of parental retribution or
accusations of paedophilia, which has been a bit of an alarmist topic in the
British media for the last 5-10 years here - <http://is.gd/51rdy>.

While I'd love to let my daughter have as free and as rich a childhood as I
had (richer, even), I'm not convinced British society as a whole provides a
healthy environment for her to have that freedom when adults are scared of
conversing with unknown children or even helping them in vulnerable or
potentially dangerous situations. Can't say I _entirely_ blame this attitude
though, as I've ignored quite a few kids for much the same reasons.. though
I'd like to believe I'd step in and do _something_ if they were in danger..

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pmichaud
I pretty much agree with him. I've been telling my kid since they were old
enough to understand me that the world is a complicated place, and to be
careful, but to also live in possibility, not in fear.

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tel
A watched child never boi... _grows_!

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zck
Well, a watched child won't boil either.

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viraptor
s/won't/is less likely/

You cannot control the child all the time. At some point you won't be looking
and he/she might just as well get hurt. I've hurt, cut, etc. myself while
adults were looking at me - we hurt ourselves as adults by accident too. You
can't prevent everything "bad" because you're watching.

~~~
zck
Well, yeah. I was just making a joke about how applying the verb "boil" to a
human doesn't make sense.

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whatusername
<http://freerangekids.wordpress.com> (and associated books/links) has a
similar theme for those who are interested in this.

And in general - I agree. (Although it's easy to say that when you don't have
kids)

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michaelneale
I know topics like this generate some discussion here, and I feel slightly bad
flagging it, but for those who can flag, please consider how this is related
(or not) to hacker news.

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zck
It's about hacking childhood. It's interesting to think about what taboos
society is creating. That's enough to get on this site.

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mdemare
She says that the world is safer now for kids than it was when she grew up,
but I wonder about that. Precisely because there are so few kids roaming the
streets, the ones that still do may be more at risk because e.g. drivers don't
expect them.

For a marvellous account of children being raised without any parental
guidance, read Bill Bryson's "The Life And Times Of The Thunderbolt Kid."
Highly recommended.

~~~
misuba
"children being raised __without any __parental guidance"

fallacy of the excluded middle much?

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danbmil99
"I won’t be telling her there are bad people out there- "

hmm... We may have to agree to disagree.

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ams6110
That was the biggest problem I had with this piece. Yes, in fact, there are
genuinely evil people in the world. It is certainly possible to be
overprotective of a child but this guy seems a little too far to the other
extreme.

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pvg
This guy is not a guy.

~~~
ams6110
So she isn't. I think of Quinn as a male name and did not read her "about"
page.

