
How I got an FBI record at age 11 from dabbling in cryptography (2015) - tjalfi
http://web.stanford.edu/~learnest/les/crypto.htm
======
Yabood
Funny story, so in 2008 I was admitted as a refugee. I flew from Amman, Jordan
and landed in Chicago. Everyone that had an IOM bag had to go to a designated
area to get their fingerprints taken. So when it was my turn, the officer took
my index fingerprint, waited a few seconds then gave me a look, a WTF look,
but didn't say anything. A couple of minutes later, two homeland security
officers showed up out of nowhere and escorted me to a holding area. I wanted
to find out what was going on because I was the only one out of the entire
group (100 people or so) that was getting this special treatment, but the
officers ignored me. I waited, and waited, and waited, then when I asked again
~ four hours later I was told "Don't worry, you're going in either way". Long
story short, The FBI had a record on me because I was a translator for the US
Army in Baghdad, but the record didn't say whether I was one of the good guys
or the bad guys, so they had to contact the FBI to see what's up. Fun times..

~~~
samstave
Please define IOM

~~~
Yabood
I apologize, [https://www.iom.int/](https://www.iom.int/)

------
saganus
"We traced the glasses to your son from the prescription by examining the
files of all optometrists in the San Diego area."

Wow, no wonder government agencies salivate at the idea of being able to
monitor the whole Interwebs.

I know they now have orders of magnitude more data to process but still...
that manual process must have been expensive and boring as hell.

I guess as an agent you would need to convince yourself that this was actually
a very important task of defending your country or something. Otherwise I can
imagine going crazy just doing this stuff for nothing...

Edit:

Another quote I found amusing:

"The friendlier one eventually described how much it had cost to investigate
another recent case where a person was reported to have pulled down an
American flag and stepped on it. Only after the investigation was well under
way did they learn that the perpetrator of this nefarious act was only four
years old."

~~~
throwaway91111
Wait, they actually green lit a case about stepping on a flag? To what end?
Does the FBI realize how many open missing persons cases there are? This whole
quote is nauseous.

~~~
dreamcompiler
It was in the middle of WWII. The FBI's zeal was pretty high at that time.

~~~
glubGlub
My hypothesis is that the FBI knows some of its agents are useless, and keeps
some busywork lying around to occupy them on slow news days.

I've had passive/aggressive managers saddle me with nonsense before, and
sometimes they were just in a mood but if a pattern develops, it's because
they can't find a way to fire you.

But, goodness gracious! Toying with people's lives, investigating random
nobodies as if they might be criminals, as a side effect of interpersonal
difficulties in the workplace? It's more likely than you think.

~~~
briandear
Just to be really clear since it seems some are missing the point -- this was
around 70 years ago during World War II.

~~~
celticninja
Pretty certain the comment could still apply today. Too dumb to promote to
expensive to sack, give them shit no one else wants or make work to keep them
out of the way.

~~~
throwaway91111
I think the point is that it only applies today.

Also, nobody has actually pointed out an instance of this happening. The FBI
has had several extremely high profile cases in the last year; if they are
incompetent, they have managed not to be totally useless.

------
sandworm101
These stories from more simple times are always a great read, but for me they
illustrate exactly how different and more aggressive our world is. Sure, they
were rounding people up and putting them in camps. That needs to be mentioned.
But visits from the FBI can no longer be waved off and childhood fun. They
really do come back to haunt you. Being investigated is far less dangerous
than falsely claiming that you weren't. In the past this would go undetected
but today's electronic paper trails don't forget such things. They will
notice.

The involvement of the school officials, even the parents, is also cute.
Modern law enforcement doesn't hesitate to go strait to the kids. It is not
unusual for a cop to pull a kid out of a class for a "chat" that could see
them jailed. Parents often only hear about such things long after the fact.

The image of FBI agents in a black limo is precious. That is intimidating FBI
man 101. They still do the 'parked in the driveway reading notes' thing today,
but only where they don't feel under any threat. If there is any potential for
a firearm at the location, or any hint that the suspect is in any way
dangerous, they don't hang around as potential targets. If you see them doing
the parked thing, wave. Say hi. Or don't. To intimidate they must first be
seen. They will keep up the act until someone notices them. If you really want
to make their week, get in your car and drive away. They love a good slow
speed "chase" before confronting you somewhere out in the world.

~~~
pvg
The simple times in which, as you say, people were getting put in camps and
the FBI routinely broke the law? There's always room for improvement but I
don't think we have it quite as bad.

~~~
sandworm101
If you were a visible minority, those times were horrible. Few would debate
that. But the average kid of any color today faces some very aggressive
realities. Wozniak built a fake bomb as a school prank. Not a clock mistaken
for a bomb, not a crypto scheme mistaken for a Japanese plot, a ticking bomb
meant to terrify those who found it. And it did. Do that in 1973 and you can
still go on to great things. Do that today and you'll be lucky to ever set
foot in a normal school again. Good luck getting a passport after being
investigated for bomb making, let alone the horror of being charged as an
adult.

~~~
pvg
_Do that today and you 'll be lucky to ever set foot in a normal school
again._

Do you know of any evidence of that sort of thing? While it certainly doesn't
make your life easier, people bounce back and have fruitful careers even after
outright federal convictions for computer-related crimes. Do you know of
anyone being denied a passport for something they did as a juvenile?

~~~
sandworm101
Really? Google "Omar Khadr" (15yo). For something less extreme google
"juvenile lifer". They certainly aren't getting passports, but I doubt many
have tried as there is little need for passports in prison. Then for the
everyday stuff google "charged as an adult". A juvenile charged as an adult
receives an adult conviction and that can be reason to deny a passport.

~~~
pvg
Omar Khadr wasn't a US citizen. And yes, as awful putting underage people in
prison is, that's not the same as being denied a passport for some random
brush with the FBI which is your claim. I don't think 'Really?' is a license
to change the subject to a completely different set of circumstances and use
that as supporting evidence for your seemingly hyperbolic initial claims.

~~~
petre
Prison is where young people get radicalized.

~~~
pvg
I'm not sure how that's related to 'kids who have a run-in with the law
supposedly have a worse time than kids who got sent to camps'.

------
giancarlostoro
Great read also lead me to his mongrel[0] post which is equally a great read.
I've heard different things about getting a clearance, such as depending on
the company and job position it could speed up the process altogether. I've
heard different things about it from (past and present) co-workers and family.
His stories are quite a decent read, will have to bookmark his site.

[0]:
[http://web.stanford.edu/~learnest/les/mongrel.htm](http://web.stanford.edu/~learnest/les/mongrel.htm)

~~~
shitlord
> I've heard different things about getting a clearance, such as depending on
> the company and job position it could speed up the process altogether.

My experience has been the opposite. During college, I had an internship at a
defense contractor and I was the only Asian intern there (out of maybe 20
people). There were a couple of black guys and the rest were caucasian. IME,
people of color had the hardest time obtaining a clearance. It took around 2.5
years for me and around 2 years for one of my black coworkers. The turnaround
time for the white guys was a lot smaller.

I think this experience was for the best though - I left shortly afterward,
because I won't stay where I'm not wanted.

~~~
pbhjpbhj
There are natural reasons why getting clearance should be harder for those who
aren't 3rd/4th generation native though, right.

Like, if I apply for a job in Nigeria that needs clearances, if the other guys
are all from Nigeria then investigating their backgrounds are consistent,
talking to their neighbours, etc., is relatively easy. Especially if they all
have parents who already have files with identity info.

If I'm from Kenya, then first up you're going to need translators, then you're
going to need political accord or covert operatives, birth records in rural
Kenya possibly don't exist.

Also you want to leave me for a while on observation to see if I do anything
suspicious; that needs time.

It doesn't matter if the Nigerians want me, to do the same level of
investigation would take far longer.

~~~
e12e
In other words, you'd readily give Snowden a high clearance?

~~~
cirfis
Yep! TBH I think it really says alot about the general failure of the US
whistleblower statutes/protections that Snowden had to release information in
the way that he did and has subsequently been so easy to vilify. IMHO ol' Eddy
actually went about the leaking of classified info in a pretty responsible way
with the whole Poitras/Greenwald "Big Trouble in Little Hong Kong." However
you feel about the guy personally the import of his revelations is pretty
undeniable insofar as it stimulated legitimate reforms of the systems he was
criticizing (see:
[https://www.researchgate.net/publication/275019554_The_Conse...](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/275019554_The_Consequences_of_Edward_Snowden_NSA_Related_Information_Disclosures)
[http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/how-the-nsa-
spying...](http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/how-the-nsa-spying-
programs-have-changed-since-snowden/)) which seems to me to be the basic test
for legit whistleblowing. So, yeah, I would give the little eccentric a pretty
high clearance given his track record... I'd probably let him out of russia
too.

------
13of40
A year or two after 9/11, I had a run-in with the FBI. I was living in an
apartment, and one day at work, I got an email saying the local police were
trying to contact me. I called them, and as the story went, the apartment
people had come in to check my smoke alarm, and found some "suspicious items".
It was never specified what the items were, but I think it was either my keg-
o-rator or some of the electronics stuff I was always screwing with at the
time. Or they just didn't like me as a tenant because my cats were tearing the
place up. Anyway, I gave the local cop a tour of my apartment, thought
everything was OK, then a couple of days later found a business card of an FBI
agent on my porch, with "Call Me!" written on the back. So I called him back
and arranged an apartment tour for him. (And here's how it ties into the
article...) He showed up in a nondescript, white minivan, with another agent
in tow, and they gave me what was, in retrospect, the most obvious good-cop,
bad-cop routine you could imagine. He was a big, smiling, easy-talking buddy
of a guy, and she was a harsh, suspicious hag of a battle-axe. I didn't have
anything to hide, but looking back, if I did I might have totally fallen for
it...

~~~
louithethrid
Yeah, thats the beutifull thing about police states, noone wants to be
responsible, so everytime some suspicious stuff is found (which in todays
clueless society, running on black magic and fairy dust includes nearly
everything) it has to propagate up the clueless chain to somone able to make a
judgment and dismiss. So lots of people will waste your time - for nothing. So
you better hide your soldering iron from idiots.

------
6stringmerc
I love how the story ends with a loving discussion of cycling competition and
thinking of safety by way of helmets. Meanwhile, as smart as the narrator
might be, it's funny how easily things can be overlooked.

Cycling is one of the most cheating, dirty sports in the world. Sprinting is
close, so is swimming. But talking about cyphers and codes and then somehow
getting into a discussion about cycling just reminds me so much of Dr. Ferrari
and Lance Armstrong.

If you're not cheating, you're not trying. If the FBI is on your tail, you've
screwed up somewhere. The devil's in the details...

------
big_spammer
Les is quite something. He helped setup SAIL, the AI lab in Stanford with John
McCarthy, wrote the first search engine in 1961, and made the first self-
driving car.

[http://web.stanford.edu/~learnest/les/](http://web.stanford.edu/~learnest/les/)

[https://web.stanford.edu/~learnest/les/sailing.pdf](https://web.stanford.edu/~learnest/les/sailing.pdf)

Oh, and he made the first social network: FINGER

------
hackathonguy
I want to read a book by the guy.

Amongst other achievements, Les Earnest was an actor, basketball manager and
inventor of the search engine.

[http://web.stanford.edu/~learnest/les/vita.htm](http://web.stanford.edu/~learnest/les/vita.htm)

------
unityByFreedom
> Two years later I regained my seat on the board as the riders finally
> figured out that the strong helmet rule was a good thing. It then started
> spreading around the world and has since become standard in racing
> organizations almost everywhere, saving hundreds of lives and preventing
> thousands of serious head injuries. I’m proud of that.

Such a small section of this brief biography for such a valuable contribution.

I guess your most important life's work doesn't make as interesting a story as
when you've gotten yourself into trouble.

------
kw71
> However about twelve years later I learned by chance that putting slightly
> provocative information on a security clearance form can greatly speed up
> the clearance process.

I remember reading this decades ago and wondering what this might be. Now he's
explained it! I'm glad I looked at this again.

~~~
saganus
If you haven't yet, read the linked article. It's a very entertaining read
that expands on this, although a bit long.

[0]
[http://www.stanford.edu/~learnest/les/mongrel.htm](http://www.stanford.edu/~learnest/les/mongrel.htm)

~~~
JoeDaDude
Yes, the linked article, "Can computers cope with human races?" is the
funniest thing I've read since Richard Feynamn's book "Surely You're Joking
Mr. Feynman" [0].

[0] Courtesy of Northwestern University

[http://www.earth.northwestern.edu/~amir/files/Richard_P_Feyn...](http://www.earth.northwestern.edu/~amir/files/Richard_P_Feynman-
Surely_Youre_Joking_Mr_Feynman_v5.pdf)

~~~
Nition
You could take this guy's stories and insert them into _Surely You 're
Joking..._ and hardly notice honestly. Totally the same style and outlook.

------
sverige
I'm glad the government wasn't as good at monitoring things back in the 90s. I
downloaded every version of PGP I could find once it was declared illegal for
export. They don't even know what a dangerous guy I am, willing to use
cryptography to keep them from reading my stuff.

------
BoiledCabbage
Hasn't it been shown that mandatory helmet use has significantly reduced bike
usage in the US?

~~~
briandear
Is there mandatory helmet use (other than for kids?)

The article in question is about mandatory use in bicycle racing.

~~~
marssaxman
Helmet use is mandatory for adults here in Seattle. I don't know how common
such laws are in other areas.

I haven't had a bicycle since the law was introduced - not _because_ of the
law, specifically, but I feel grouchy about the idea of being forced to wear a
helmet while doing nothing more dramatic than tootling around my neighborhood,
and the law has therefore helped reduce my enthusiasm for bicycling generally.

------
kawsper
There is a recent video of him where he did a speech after being designated as
a “Significant Sig” by Sigma Chi Fraternity
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEx9R0quRR0&feature=youtu.be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEx9R0quRR0&feature=youtu.be)

He seems to have created a YouTube account just to post the video, so I got
the chance to become his first subscriber!

What an interesting person, and what a life he have lived!

~~~
Clubber
In Hoc Signo Vinces!

------
Nition
Bet this guy would've got along well with Richard Feynman.

------
tjalfi
[http://www.saildart.org/FINGER.SAI[P,SYS]13](http://www.saildart.org/FINGER.SAI\[P,SYS\]13)
is the SAIL source code to Les Earnest's finger program.

------
soylentcola
I love how he just throws in that story about running into "Alabama" and how
she looked sexy. From a younger man I might have been tempted to call it a
"humble brag" about how he chatted up a cute girl but didn't bother pursuing
anything. But from an older guy, it made me smile because it's the sort of
thing we sometimes just remember for years.

------
theparanoid
OT my uncle does underwater passive listening for the Naval Electronics
Laboratory, same as in the fine article. Apparently whales can mess up the
sound analysis.

~~~
pbhjpbhj
Is this comment some sort of honeypot?

~~~
andai
How would that work?

~~~
pbhjpbhj
Watch all attempts to procure further information, make info available to
track said "uncle" see who uses that info? I'm not a spook. It just seemed
like a really strange thing to mention, the only use for the information I
could think of was to find a naval worker who probably has a clearance rating.

------
atomical
Is your position that immigrants should be expedited through the immigration
process?

~~~
estsauver
... I think those who risked their lives by being translators for our armed
forces are probably due a bit of a fast lane.

~~~
archvile
Why wouldn't they have that information easily available on file then? Why the
whole detaining process for 4 hours when it should have been something easily
checked?

~~~
jacobush
4 hours was fast, sheesh. You instatwitter generation... :)

------
nodesocket
Ok, I get it you're a prolific hacker and well respected... But why does your
website have to look like it's from 1994?

~~~
sdiq
I had to tinker with the CSS on Chrome developer tools just so as to read the
story. Regardless, a very interesting story with one of the most important
part of his life story buried down there somewhere - his success in advocating
for strong bike helmets.

~~~
a_imho
Preferences aside, that says more about Chrome honestly.

~~~
superkuh
Better at running Javascript "Apps" than rendering HTML.

