
“Genuine people personalities” are coming to our gadgets? - _Microft
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2018/12/douglas-adams-was-right-get-ready-to-talk-with-digital-personalities/
======
isoprophlex
What a nightmare.

\----

The door refused to open. It said, "Five cents, please."

From the drawer beside the sink Joe Chip got a stainless steel knife; with it
he began systematically to unscrew the bolt assembly of his apt's money-
gulping door.

"I'll sue you," the door said as the first screw fell out.

Joe Chip said, "I've never been sued by a door. But I guess I can live through
it."

(Philip K Dick - Ubik)

~~~
kps
Aw, you cut out the part describing service-based IoT:

 _He searched his pockets. No more coins; nothing. “I’ll pay you tomorrow,” he
told the door. Again he tried the knob. Again it remained locked tight. “What
I pay you,” he informed it, “is in the nature of a gratuity; I don’t have to
pay you.”_

 _“I think otherwise,” the door said. “Look in the purchase contract you
signed when you bought this conapt.” In his desk drawer he found the contract;
since signing it he had found it necessary to refer to the document many
times. Sure enough; payment to his door for opening and shutting constituted a
mandatory fee. Not a tip._

 _“You discover I’m right,” the door said. It sounded smug._

~~~
isoprophlex
I went for brevity but you are absolutely right, it's a lot better (and
scarier) with that bit left in

------
eli_gottlieb
>And so might we all in a couple more years. That’s because, according to
Gartner Research VP Brian Burke, 80 percent of emerging technologies will be
outfitted with artificial intelligence by 2020.

Oh bloody hell, just invent something else! I work in an "AI" lab, and I just
don't want any more "smart devices". I'd much prefer something that solves a
problem I actually have, like for instance the godawful commute times involved
in getting around here.

~~~
maxxxxx
The AI will serve you ads for audiobooks you can listen to during the commute.
That's something, isn't it?

------
fromthestart
Actually, I've thought of this before. Imagine a world where continuously
learning AI is commonplace, and leads to clearly divergent performance of
objects. Suddenly, attachment to intimate objects becomes much more
reasonable, when you can train your possessions and have them compete - even
selling the neural nets for profit, if corps allow us to own them.

I feel like it would add a certain degree of magic to the world of things. The
same way people grow fond of cars, guns, tools, and the like, except in this
case there may be something to the percieved superiority!

Imagine self learning toys and the games they could be taught to play.

------
Gys
In a few years we will have our best friend constantly in our ear. He / she
will be the ideal friend: always happy to chat, to give answers, tell a joke,
know what to do and buy. This will be virtual person, controlled ultimately by
Google, Facebook or Amazon. Many will prefer to be with that person instead of
real people, at least most of their time.

~~~
NeedMoreTea
Ideal friend? Funny friends you must have.

A "friend" whose every action, however minute, is carefully crafted to part
you from more money, or get you to view more adverts. A "friend" who does
nothing whatsoever altruistically in your interests. The most toxic type of
person many of us have met is the struggling commission only salesperson. They
are the ones who will come over for Christmas dinner and spend whole time
trying to hard sell everyone their product/life insurance/investment
opportunity.

Many will choose to avoid that person like the plague whilst possibly
regretting losing their formerly benign "friend".

Me, I'd disconnect entirely if I had to have that "friend" constantly in my
ear to stay connected.

------
WheelsAtLarge
I just got a google mini and I've had an echo for a few years now. Google and
Amazon have and are building them with a simulated personality. I find it
strange that I even feel that a hunk of plastic and metal has a personality.

------
mosiuerbarso
We'll end up with toasters like this:

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRq_SAuQDec](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRq_SAuQDec)

"But i'm a toaster. It is my raison d'être. I toast, therefore I am!"﻿

------
wanda
Sounds ghastly.

~~~
eli_gottlieb
Jolly good, my next major electronics purchase will want me to know it's
feeling very depressed.

------
eps
Personalities are nice and all, but I would settle for a nav system that
speaks in Morgan Freeman's voice.

~~~
pjc50
This used to be a thing - alternative voices for satnav recorded by famous
people. I wonder why it went away?

~~~
eps
No, really? Got a link?

~~~
pjc50
[https://www.nme.com/blogs/nme-blogs/you-can-now-get-
morgan-f...](https://www.nme.com/blogs/nme-blogs/you-can-now-get-morgan-
freeman-as-the-voice-of-your-sat-nav-10883)

