

Is there something I'm suppose to be doing? - jaymorg

I am your average person. I'm of average intelligence, I'm average at my job (Software Engineer), I make average money, yadda yadda.<p>For the last ~3 years, I've never been content for more than a few months. It often manifests it's self in the form of my job situation. I get a new job, a couple months go by and I get tired of it. It's not limited to my job though. I have a constant habit of picking something, completely enveloping my self in it, and then within a few weeks to a month, the thought of it disgusts me.<p>I'm constantly searching for some type of business to create, but deep down I know I'm not a business person. I'm nervous to the point of physically shaking when put in confrontational situations.<p>I often feel like I need to channel my impulses into something that doesn't effect my life, like video games, or hobbies, but it never seems to last.<p>Is there something I'm suppose to be doing that I'm not? Or maybe I just have some horrible habits that have grown into monsters?<p>It's gotten to the point that I'm mentally exhausted with my erratic notions.
======
timmm
Decide to get your life together.

Start making some big changes, drop the bad habits and pickup beneficial ones.
Stop being subject to your emotions and take control. If you want a broad goal
you're going to have to do things during the interim that don't seem
attractive. Learn to love that process.

------
argonaut
1) Are you sure software is right for you? It seems like a lot of your
unhappiness comes from your job...

2) If your unhappiness doesn't come from your job, are you satisfied with your
personal life? Often when someone is unhappy with their personal life it
spills over into their work life. Do you have friends, a significant other,
and/or hobbies?

3) You might still consider pursuing entrepreneurship. A lot of entrepreneurs
seem to have had difficulty being satisfied in a corporate environment. What
do you mean by "confrontational situations?" _Business usually does not
consist of confrontational situations_. In the tech world, people are actually
very nice. When people in the tech and non-tech world say no to you, they will
often do so by either 1) politely saying no, or 2) ignoring you, neither of
which are confrontational. People are actually quite eager to help others out.

The only cases in which arguments get heated that I can think of are when you
argue with people who work with/for you about a decision that you both hold
strong opinions about. In this case, you avoid this by hiring/working with
people who communicate very diplomatically. In any case, if you ever have a
co-founder, typically your co-founder should be someone you've worked with
before or are friends with, so that level of personal familiarity should
alleviate things.

------
GotAnyMegadeth
I find that if I get really into something really fast and spend loads of time
doing it, I get sick of it fast. I've found that if I purposefully ramp into
something slowly, and take breaks from it before I've had enough, then I don't
get bored of it. I find this is particularly true with music; I have a rule
that I never listen to the same song more than once a day, unless I'm showing
it to someone else. There are a few songs I can't listen to because of over
playing, but almost none since I was 17 when I established that rule.

EDIT reading that back it doesn't seem as relevant as I thought it would...

~~~
jaymorg
It's probably more relevant then you'd expect. I have a suspicion that the
rush I get from doing something excessively has created a form of addiction.
When that no longer provides the rush, because it's familiar and boring, I
need a new fix. Rinse repeat for 10 years and I'm obsessed with finding the
next idea to give me that rush.

------
JT123
__Good News __

You are completely normal, especially in the entrepreneurial world where folks
get bored pretty often. Do whatever, but dont give up your search for the
'fit' I am sure you will find a way out.

~~~
xijuan
Easy to say; hard to do...

------
terrykohla
Read about BPD, you might need consulting if you fit the profile and you feel
like this is ruining your life. I felt like that and that's where I'm at right
now.

~~~
squidsoup
Just out of interest, have you been diagnosed with anything else - Aspergers
syndrome, depression or PTSD? If you'd rather not share any more publicly,
understand entirely!

~~~
terrykohla
I haven't been diagnosed with anything "yet", I have trust issues with mental
health professionals, I'm a high-functioning person. I perform above average
under pressure (when starting a job for example) and once I get recognition
from my boss and coworkers I lose all my motivation, like all my intellectual
energy was focused on "impressing" others, I don't see any more challenge, I
start finding all the flaws and imperfections in the systems and processes, I
get annoyed by all the inefficiencies, I get bored (the "what am I doing
wasting my time here" syndrome), then depressed, then I quit or change jobs.
The good part is I've gotten raises faster than my peers from job hoping,
demand is high in my field so I've never been out of work since 2005, having
experience in different companies gives you a better over view of the
industry, rubbing shoulders with people from different companies is good for
networking, it's not all bad except I haven't found something that keeps my
motivation going. One ingredient that's missing in my career is creativity,
which I have tons to offer, but I'm locked in a high paying non-creative
environment, while all the artist and creative people I know are broke. I feel
like I'm selling my soul to the devil and that doesn't help my depression
issues.

~~~
brewgardn
This is not a recommended solution, but an observation of my own life. I felt
almost exactly how you did - till I had kids. They gave the job I was once
excited about, now bored about, a new rich level of meaning -- bc it was
allowing me to provide a better life for them. They gave me a reason to have
long term goals there, and not throw in the towel as quickly as I might have
otherwise.

~~~
terrykohla
I might feel the same way if I had kids, but I'm scared to death of having
children before finding my true vocation. I think if I have kids and find
myself "forced" to stay at a high-paying job I didn't like, I would be an
unhappy slave. Perhaps the love for my kids would totally make-up for that,
but that's how I think now that I don't have kids. I'm an idealist and I want
to be in love at home as well as in love with what I do for living. I know I
set the bar high. Right now I'm studying a lot about the Myer-Briggs
personality types and I'm finding a lot of answers. Thanks for sharing your
observation.

------
Foomandoonian
I could have written this myself! I wish I had some answers for you...

------
onlyup
You sound pretty normal except you have confrontational anxiety.

