

An online dating site for ugly people - welcome to reality - roadnottaken
http://www.theuglybugball.com/

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BrandonM
The copy on the front page (specifically the reasons to date ugly people) has
a rather mocking tone. I can go along with the idea, but I feel like the site
should be showing its members a lot more respect.

If this site becomes known, I could see it being used as a mean insult where
someone sends a message on a dating site, and the reply includes a link to
TUBB.

~~~
jonpaul
Agreed. Reading that made me believe the site was a parody of sorts.

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acangiano
This is the kind of site that will have no trouble attracting press coverage.
And that's half the battle.

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epo
The cliche is that men go to dating sites looking for sex and women go to
dating sites looking for wealthy men. A site like this would be a bonanza for
men looking for an 'easy' partner.

Someone needs to start a "rich but ugly" site, that would be a winning
proposition for both genders, albeit a fertile source of disappointment to
anyone who paired up.

~~~
eof
I had seriously considered a site playing to that cliche. The site would
always maintain a 2-1 ratio of women to men, with the women's accounts being
free, and having them only be accepted into the site if they were a 7 or
better. (something like top 15%)

Men's accounts would be prohibitively expensive, something like $250 a month.

The site would be promoted to women by going to clubs, bars, etc with women
(on a per city basis, probably starting in NYC, Boston, etc) and giving them
something of a 'golden ticket' to signing up. ie, the invitation itself would
be proof of attractiveness and would an invite would therefore be desirable.

Eventually women would be approved by some sort of crowd sourcing or just
editorial control.

~~~
aidenn0
Only problem with this is that I while I know several wealthy but less than
handsome men, none of them have any trouble getting laid.

~~~
eof
Honestly, I think the real problem is getting enough women that the site has
enough value to shell out $250 a month.

I think wealthy men, even if they have no problem getting laid, will still
find a lot of value in a large selection of women in a market that is
artificially in their favor.

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dejb
I wonder if they'll enforce the ugly requirement to 'Stop the the beautiful
people from wrecking it'. I can just see their next headline about someone
being kicked off the site for being too hot.

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dstein
For that matter, why not make a site for attractive people who have
horrifically ugly personalities. There's far more of them.

~~~
sushi
Try <http://www.beautifulpeople.com>

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mattmaroon
I see two primary problems with this idea.

#1. Most ugly people don't want to date someone else ugly. This is especially
true for men, who typically care far more about their mate's appearance than
their own.

#2. Most ugly people aren't conscious of their ugliness, or if they are, they
at least aren't comfortable enough admitting it to sign up for this service.

~~~
rokhayakebe
1- True, but if you are ugly and have little else to offer than you will
settle for ugly.

2- I think we will see lots of decent looking people signing up because they
think "in a pool of ugliness I will beauty queen", and that will help. For
example in the latest members section, the girl on the top right is not ugly.

~~~
quizbiz
But who wants to meet a future spouse on a dating site for ugly people?
Rather, an ugly person would prefer a dating site for smart people or mac
enthusiasts or music enthusiasts, etc.

~~~
discolemonade
There's still an element of stigma around online dating. When you combine that
with the fact that nobody wants to admit to others and especially to
themselves that they settled, this site is a trainwreck in the making...
assuming it isn't some sort of a prank or something. Nobody intentionally goes
out looking for ugly people to date.

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FiddlerClamp
Ugly to one is attractive to another, in many cases.

For example, fat women have the whole BBW (Big, Beautiful Women) movement and
guys who love that. Same with gay men and the 'bear community'.

Even geeks get to take advantage of being 'adorkable'.

Having a huge birthmark, or cross-eyes, or something else that sets you apart
from the 'average' person may be considered ugly, or just strange. I don't see
any people on that home page that I would call ugly.

Also, I think that people who believe themselves to be less attractive
generally try harder. :)

~~~
dhimes
Wait- you're saying that hairy men are ugly? Shit.

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nithyad
...dating for the aesthetically challenged :) Love the tagline.

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swah
The majority of ugly people aren't conscious about it, which makes things
difficult for a site like this to succeed.

~~~
nithyad
Or is it that majority of the people are so conscious about the way they look
that they are more comfortable labeling themselves 'ugly' than let somebody
else do it!

~~~
Udo
Nah, I'm pretty sure I'm ugly alright, and even if I wasn't there are several
data points that make it kinda obvious: First, girls have repeatedly told me
so. But just to make sure, I conducted an experiment by creating two accounts
on a dating site: one using my real photos, the other using pics from a
normal-looking (not overly attractive) man off the web. The "normal guy" got
tons of winks and responses, while the real me got nothing as usual. Well,
nothing is not quite true, I got a response from a girl who was apparently
offended because I thought I was in her league... This pattern didn't change
when I made the normal looking guy sound like a total douche on his profile.

So, yes, I think this site is a great idea!

~~~
mburney
You made the normal looking guy sound like a douche? That may be the reason he
got so many winks and responses. Often being an arrogant douche can be
mistaken for confidence and attractiveness.

~~~
kls
Right, that was what I was thinking. Females love confidence whether it comes
is the vessel of an asshole or a nice guy.

I once had a girlfriend who I did not like, shallow as a wading pool. I made a
bet with a buddy of mine that not only could I get her to break up with me,
but I could get her to sleep with our other buddy (who was in on it).

All I had to do was have a crisis of confidence in which I was no longer
decisive, confident, surly arrogant in a humors way. No, I was spineless,
Lilly-liveried. All the things my buddy was not, and I made sure to talk about
how cool he was all the time, how he got all the girls and did I mention how
cool he was.

The buddy I made the bet with was floored at the surgical precision of the
whole event and also at how so spiteful and hateful that she became towards me
in the process. The events unfolded at my birthday party in which she slept
with our friend in his bedroom. They talked for a little while, got up right
in front of me, with no respect and no regard, went into the bedroom and shut
the door. The buddy, I made the bet with's jaw was on the floor. I was smiling
like the cat that ate the canary and everyone at the party is looking at me
like, dude did that just happen to him.

~~~
sp4rki
I had a similar experience once. I'm a bit of an introvert, but have awesome
social skills, and was teaching a friend of mine how anyone can get a hottie
if he's confident enough. I got the hottie to go home with him by being
confident first to lure her in, and then breaking down and making my friend
look alpha in the process. His jaw also dropped when he realized it was that
easy. He still sucks at getting women to do what he wants.

~~~
kls
Right, confidence has a lot to do with the mating game. Which brings up the
grandparent posters comment about being ugly. The fact is for him it does not
matter for a woman looks are far down on the totum poll whereas for men
conversely they are far up. A good deal of men don't understand this because
we as human reason from our perspective. We tend to project, so unattractive
men tend to project that women think they are unattractive and given that
attractiveness is such a high weight for them they obviously do not have a
shot.

The thing is just as a beautiful woman sets of a chain of bio-chemical
reactions in a mans brain, a alpha male does the same for women. So being a
strong (not just physically) man is far more important than looks. It is the
reason women are attracted to older men, they generally exhibit more of the
Alpha traits.

The best advice I can offer someone who feels that they cannot get a beautiful
woman is to work on their confidence. Just as a woman can augment herself to
be more attractive so can a man augment himself to be more dominate, not in a
beat you wife tell her what to do way, But in a win friends and influence
people kind of way.

Tip #1 is dress sharp, the cloths really do make the man. You don't have to
dress up but dress sharp. It is a male boob job, women don't look at a mans
face they look at his cloths, his shoes. How many times have you heard a woman
say they love a man in uniform, there is a reason? You would be surprised what
looking good with a little bit of style can do for your confidence. It makes
you walk different, it makes you talk different and women have years of
adaptation that pick up on these little nuances.

~~~
Udo
While I suspect you are generally right and a guy appearing "alpha" is very
important when women rate attractiveness, I don't see my not-too-serious A/B
test fitting into the story here. Dressing sharp, being an assertive jerk, all
that was actually eliminated on account of this being a simple online test
where all other factors besides the optics of the face were pretty much
equalized. That doesn't mean you're wrong, but it also means in addition to
the "dog pack psychology" ranking there is probably a facial attractiveness
criterion at work here that is just as important to women as it is to men.

On a darker side note, if we take it for granted that both sexes prefer
attractive people in equal measures, there appear to be crass differences in
other expectations that depress me somewhat. For example, what I find
attractive in a woman: \- good sense of humor \- being nice and constructive
\- intelligence and wisdom \- adventurousness and a sense of wonder \-
creativity \- good sex and a sense of intimacy

...contrasts pretty sharply with what women want in men: \- assertiveness and
dominance \- always puts himself in the best light \- money and good clothes
\- adherence to tradition / gender roles \- perceived aura of success

Well, it may be polemic, but you can see the different qualities at work here.
The worst thing is, I'm beginning to see my past relationships through that
lens and I honestly cannot tell anymore if it's just the resignation talking
or if this is actually how the world worked the whole time.

~~~
kls
_being an assertive jerk_

Being a jerk is not a precondition to being an Alpha, it is just a low-brow
way to play the mating game. While it works it is crude and unrefined. Kind of
what Cutty Sark is to Glenmorangy. While it gets the job done it by no means
covers the nuances of refinement, it is an amateur approach at best. If you
want to look at an example of what a true Alpha looks like watch a Bond film
with Connery. He exemplifies a none wife beater, wearing, Camaro driving
Alpha. I mean if you truly break it down is the Camaro, woman beating guy,
getting the kind of girl you really want. When one breaks it down past the
instant chemical brain pop of hell yes, the answers is no.

Now you don't have to be as swave as Bond but there is something that Connery
exhibits well, the kind of guy women want to be around, the kind of guy that
is in control, and the kind of guy that can get things done. There is nothing
wrong with being this guy, they are really happy people, they don't feel like
it is a chore.

The thing to remember is the like beauty the air of being the Alpha is only
the ice breaker, it may get you into a 2 month relationship but like all other
things it fades, other mental processes take over, things like compatibility
become more important, but yes a good deal of women will become dissatisfied
if you become a whinny, needy boy (you is meant in general).

The harsh reality though, is that men are more disposable, there are winners
and looser and the winner takes all in the mating game. But attractiveness for
men is by no means a prerequisite for being a winner.

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paolomaffei
Anyone else thinking this is a bit sad?

# Once with an ugly partner it is unlikely that anyone will try and take them
from you meaning you can let yourself go completely once you’re together.

# In these straightened times TUBB is cheaper as a) We don’t charge much as
the pretty sites and b) Ugly people have lower expectations – for a first date
A Family Bucket will usually do the trick.

------
cagenut
Lowered Expectaaaaaations

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xLsRI7-hBs>

~~~
CodeMage
Reminded me of the movie called "Crazy People":

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_ArDB7AJAI>

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cemregr
Funny thing is the people that they show you before signing up are pretty
decent looking.

~~~
gaius
It is the same mechanism that that TV show Ugly Betty wouldn't work if the
actress playing her wasn't actually quite cute.

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base
One time I met a guy that had a dating site for people in Rio de Janeiro that
was only for hot or rich. All the people had to be pre-approved by the rest of
the members to get in. If not approved you could pay something like 500$ to
get in. I wonder if it's still around.

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arb99
This is just a dating site skin, it is just the main tour is marketed for ugly
people, but i'm pretty sure the members area will have the same members as any
other whitelabeldating.com site.

from the whitelabeldating site -

> "WhiteLabelDating.com _provides the dating software, membership database_ ,
> payment processing, customer support, hosting infrastructure, tax processing
> and much more. You provide your brand, website design and marketing and we
> do the rest."

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jason_slack
I first really thought this was a joke...

What about levels of ugliness? Scale from 1 to 10 or like maybe in levels of
"bags". The stereotype that the uglier you are the more bags one would need to
put over your head before they would "do you"..??

Like a double-bagger....or a triple bagger..as an example.

Then maybe you say call someone a "f-ugly double bagger" and it might be
considered a compliment in the goals of this site!

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evgeny0
The real target audience of that site is people with a poor self-image. That's
a perfectly valid target market - and a big one, I'd bet! Of course, they
can't just come out and SAY "join if you have issues with your looks" - that
wouldn't go down very well with the users.

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Grizzlier
I don't want to come across as a spelling Nazi, but since you're asking for
feedback I hope you take this as constructive criticism to improve the front
page copy: "In these straightened times TUBB is cheaper as..." Should be
"straitened times"

------
JabavuAdams
I love that there's a typo in the first sentence.

------
ilamparithi
Did anyone see the maximum age in the search?

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maeon3
"Ugly" needs to broken out by category: ugly on the outside? Ugly personality?
Ugly mental illness? Ugly by car accident or Ugly by DNA? Ugly not
intelligent?

The dating game in this country is broken, as evidence I point at the 50%+
divorce rate.

I propose a better solution. One where a dating website has "ground rules"
that if you break, you get three strikes and your out. Rules like you have to
respond to the suitor with a reason why you are incompatible. Rules like if
you are chronically offending other people, you get restricted rights. If you
are beautiful and get hundreds of messages and don't respond to any, you get
removed from search. If a suitor comes up, fitting all your criteria for a
date, and you don't like them, and can't quote a reason why you don't like
them, you get a emblem on your profile that says: "Profile criteria
inaccurate, this person doesn't have any idea what they want". Which would
encourage one to actually put down what they want in the mate, instead of the
fluff that women/men actually put down.

This article describes many of the failings of the current dating website
methodology and how it could be improved: Hi, I want to meet 17.6% of you:
[http://interviews.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/02/19/14192...](http://interviews.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/02/19/1419207)

~~~
ergo98
"The dating game in this country is broken, as evidence I point at the 50%+
divorce rate."

That stat is always brought up as proof of the failure of marriage. To me it
validates marriage.

Seriously, if you told a computing engine that two people committed to each
other (often when young), and they always had the option of saying adieu, and
asked what percentage would over the entirety of their lives, it would
probably estimate somewhere in the 100% range of people wouldn't stick it out.

Just look at the evidence: How many people stick to anything they commit to,
much less something with a commitment often greater than _60 years_.

If almost half of marriages remain, that is just shockingly high.

~~~
dionidium
That number is an overestimation, anyway, partly because of how it is usually
arrived at:

[http://divorcelawyersknoxville.net/true-divorce-
statistics-h...](http://divorcelawyersknoxville.net/true-divorce-statistics-
how-to-understand-the-divorce-rate.html)

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olalonde
Is it just me or that one doesn't seem much aesthetically challenged
<http://www.whitelabeldating.com/ubb/random/2.jpeg>

~~~
grigy
She just wants to meet an aesthetically challenged one.

~~~
clr
It's be so great if we didn't turn HN into "Hot or Not". Especially for the
women who read it.

