
Cultivating Friendgineers - omarish
https://tech.lendinghome.com/cultivating-friendgineers-267b1ddba97#.e8kix3ivw
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aynsof
Do you find that having so much positivity in your retros silences voices that
might be going against the status quo? Serious question.

We've been struggling in our recent retros to find any negatives to talk
about, and I've been trying to make sure we're not averse to making
suggestions that might feel like complaints.

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civilian
Are your retros a small enough group?

I am more reticent to bring up negative stuff, especially if it's mostly about
myself, if my boss's boss, marketing people, lead of product, and the finance
person are all sitting in on the retro. If it just manager, project manager
and the rest of the engineering team, then I feel way more comfortable sharing
in that kind of safe space.

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rebeccaemgreen
this is so important! Our retros are just engineers & engineering-adjacent
people (data, design, product managers). My boss sometimes comes to the
meeting, his boss doesn't. I think our vp also comes sometimes, but he was one
of the first engineers and is always open to feedback, so it's not like "the
boss is in the room, we have to be on our best behavior"

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rebeccaemgreen
replying to myself because this is near and dear to my heart: we also do
individual team retros as part of sprint planning, which are _just_ teams.
(lead, engineers, product manager)

Stuff that comes up in these can get promoted to the all-engineering retro. If
it's a controversial topic, discussing it in a small group is super helpful
because 1, you can clarify your thinking before bringing it up in front of 30
people and 2, your team has your back and can support you if it becomes a
heated discussion.

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civilian
I know you replied 7 days ago, but I've kinda had a crazy week. Having a
separate individual team repo definitely sounds good, and I like the idea of
things "bubbling up". Things probably do bubble up at my team already, but I
imagine my manager shields me from that stuff. Which I'm not sure if I love.

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jimmywanger
I dunno. I'm a bit more phlegmatic than most, but these sort of things bother
the heck out of me.

Most of the things you get congratulated on during these events are things
that the company pays you to do, and as other people said, they're not
actionable. "Keep doing your job competently!" is not really an action item.

For me at least, pointing out friction and drag is a far more useful way of
improving both my own skills and the amount of work the team is able to put
out.

Everytime I hear congratulations on things, unless they are truly extra
ordinary, I just tune out. This meeting happens every other week. What are the
chances of that many extraordinary efforts being exerted every two weeks?

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joefiorini
I work on the team with OP. It's worth noting that in our actual retros we
always discuss things causing friction & drag. All of the congratulatory stuff
is done out-of-band in an email sent out after retro.

To your other point: are we celebrating mediocrity? I don't think so. While
the things we call out may not fit your definition of "extraordinary", when
the main discussion points are around how you can improve, it is important to
celebrate wins, even small ones, to see how you have improved.

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rebeccaemgreen
thanks for posting this Omar!

One of the things I love about LH is how different our retro process is from
the places I've worked before. It's in the middle of the day, and it's so open
and friendly!

I'd love to hear what all of you do at your retros and what you like/dislike
about them!

