
How Following Others Will Leave You Broke - dennisgorelik
http://calmscience.net/2015/12/09/conspicuous-consumption-and-lifestyle-inflation-how-following-others-will-leave-you-broke/
======
bcoates
This is some clever self-parody.

The outer wrapper: science-flavored with no actual science.

It warms you up with feel-good nonsense designed to flatter the listener for
being a responsible rich person and/or smarter than all those foolish poseurs
with their fancy cars and houses.

Then telling you to avoid overt advertising because (the article claims) it
just flatters your ego to trick you into buying something, followed by ...

New Age hokum repackaged as Buddhism lecture you're going to nod politely at
as you scroll through without reading.

... and the punchline is an affiliate ad to buy enlightenment for $12

p.s. Overt advertising is a way of buying a piece of culture, you don't
literally need to believe it for it to work so don't be smug if you don't
"fall" for it. Affiliate marketing like this is a direct assault on your
brain. _This_ is the evil advertising you should be ignoring, not the
"expensive stuff is expensive" ads they use as examples.

~~~
gradstudent
Yeah, I got the same impression. The article is vapid to begin and then it
takes a turn for the worse with it's bullshit Buddhist propaganda.

~~~
markatkinson
Ha, agreed. It is one of those articles where as you are reading red flags
start shooting up with an ever increasing frequency till eventually you are
2/3rd's of the way through and feel like you've been hoodwinked.

I am not against meditation though...

------
macNchz
>Stay Away from High-Income Neighborhoods

I don't generally struggle too much with the pull towards 'lifestyle
inflation', but I have to say that after living in a dumpy neighborhood for
several years, moving to a nicer area this year is something I've appreciated
every single day.

There are trees and parks, lots of businesses and services right nearby, I
save nearly an hour of each day with a shorter commute, it's quiet and clean
and I feel safe walking around at night. Dollar for dollar the value has been
very high for me, and I'm so thankful to have the means to choose where I want
to live.

~~~
hackaflocka
Agreed -- also, one always finds modest homes and cars in high-end
neighborhoods, so people _are_ able to not succumb to peer pressure.

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subatomic
Just doesn't compute. We live in what the author would call a high income
neighbourhood but that's because we wanted to live walking/bike distance to
everything, which turns out to be a pretty frugal way to live. We have an old
beater for a car and have never had any intention of trying to keep up with
the rest of the street/neighbourhood. We see a lot of fancy around the place
but meh.

~~~
dagw
Exactly. High income neighborhoods aren't just randomly scattered around.
While I have no interest in living in a high income neighborhood per se, I
want to bike to work, be away from major highways, have green spaces around my
house, feel reasonably safe and be reasonably close to an at least a half way
decent school and all places that fulfill those criteria are almost by
definition high income neighborhoods.

------
_navaneethan
A Dialogue from fight club movie: ==================================

 _Tyler Durden_ : Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men
who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn
it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white
collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so
we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No
purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a
spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on
television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods,
and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're
very, very pissed off.

------
fffrad
This was quite a good read.

Since this is HN, it may be a good idea to port this to the tech community:

> Keeping up with the latest framework

I interviewed at a company that jumped on Silverlight on the very first day
because they wanted to be "edgy". One of the interviewers was telling me how
they used all resources to convert their enterprise CMS. But now most people
left and they are having a hard time finding people who can convert it back.

~~~
jasonszhao
Social status and programming tools are really comparable. Programming tools
evolve so fast and they do help you, as more things are abstracted. However,
there is still a necessity to to things the traditional way sometimes.

------
yason
You should never model your life based on others' expectations.

You should certainly model it based on your own wants and preferences, but
after giving it some thought first because what you think you want and why
isn't necessarily what you really want and why.

For example, what does wealth mean? For someone, it can be that you can buy a
BMW. However, if you want to buy a BMW you're never just buying a BMW: you're
buying something else that actually satisfies you. The BMW is just a symbolic
token for what you really want. If you know what that is then you also know
whether buying that BMW is the right choice. It might be the perfect symbol
for freedom or whatever in your life. Then go buy it. But you might be longing
for something else and buying the car wouldn't eventually make you happier.
Then you would be looking for something else again but as long as you don't
know what you really want, you'll be shooting in the dark.

For me, wealth is independence. The more independent I am the wealthier I am.
In corollary, people with FU money are the richest people on the Earth on that
scale. Myself, I'd happily live cheaply if that meant I could basically choose
what to do instead of having to work to keep up with my spending. Once in a
while I count how much would I need to own to produce capital income that
would give me a basic standard of living and the money for some hobbies I'm
interested in without constantly having to think much about money.

Maybe status is worth something for someone. Maybe if you show status (buy
that BMW) and hang around with people wealthier than you, some of it actually
sticks and you gain even higher income and status because of your connections,
eventually. Or maybe, by looking for other people's acceptance by the token of
status, you're just trying to find a way to convince yourself that you're
perfectly okay yourself and accepted just as you are. Then it might be less
painful to deal with that first instead of hunting status for half of your
life.

------
Animats
For a better take on this, read Stanley's "The Millionare Next Door". That
book is based on actual research and interviews with large numbers of people.
There are many people who have money, but don't show it.

------
xyzzy4
Ok, what are you supposed to spend your money on then? I wonder if the author
realizes you can't take your money with you when you die. Is the point of
money to just accumulate it and then pass off the balance to someone else?

Even if you have rock solid financial security, it'll one day be shattered
when your health inevitably becomes poor and you die. Your net worth will
become zero no matter what you do.

~~~
hackaflocka
The point of acquiring money is to be able to help those who need it.

~~~
xyzzy4
Isn't that what the government is for?

------
option_greek
An insightful read. May be the author should add facebook to the list of
things to avoid.

~~~
Outdoorsman
I remember reading a quote years ago that went something like this:

If you give someone complete freedom to do what they wish 95 percent of the
time they will end up attempting to copy the behavior of those around them.
(can't remember who said it or where I read it)

I remember thinking that it sounded "spot on"...my opinion hasn't changed
much...a couple of generations ago it was called "Keepin up with the
Jones's"...keeping up with your neighbors...

Add access to the Internet... An unlimited number of "Jones's" to keep up
with...who to emulate now?

Your comment seem relevant, my friend...

~~~
mercer
Your comments are quite striking in their (over)use of ellipses... I've been
wondering if there's a particular reason you do this? At the very least they
make your contributions distinct, I guess.

(honest question.)

~~~
Outdoorsman
My hope is that it helps me keep my comments as "honest" as possible...

An ellipsis simply indicates an omission has occurred...in the case of my
writing it simply means that a thought popped into my mind that I considered
including to better illustrate the point I'm hoping to make, then decided
against it, and wrote something else...

I've written that way for a number of years, mostly with good results...if
it's distracting to anyone my apologies...

Perhaps that's why Cormac McCarthy is likely my favorite author...he's well
known for short incomplete sentences, yet the "spell" (continuous dream) his
writing invokes in readers is never broken...

JFTR, I was writing this way well before I began reading his works...

------
patcheudor
I get it, but it's a very one sided view that doesn't account for the value of
a capital asset. Despite the greatest real-estate crash in the history of the
US in which only one of my bordering neighbors didn't go into foreclosure, my
$500K home, just eight years after I bought it has appreciated a bit more than
5% a year and before the crash was going up between 10-15% a year. Considering
my loan has been at 2.65% (I got lucky with a non-subprime ARM which adjusted
down) and property taxes are at 0.7% it's been a much better investment than a
less expensive home. Yeah, it worked out for me, but it turns out it worked
for all of my neighbors who also weathered the storm as well as a lot of other
people through history.

~~~
mixmastamyk
Yes, probably good debt: real-estate, bad debt: automobiles.

------
XeO3
> We are hard-wired to follow crowds. That’s what ensured our survival in the
> past. We have mirror neurons in our brain. The sole purpose of these neurons
> is to mimic other people’s behavior (and choices). Your willpower does not
> stand a chance against thousands of years of evolution.

This is not entirely correct. I mean it`d be difficult but not impossible.

~~~
dwaltrip
He was generalizing. In general, people feel strong compulsions to assimilate
with those around them and most of the time will do so to at least a certain
degree.

Proper qualifying every statement would turn the simplest of blog posts into a
massive manuscript! Hence we must be a little charitable when reading.

------
sgt101
Some things that you buy have massive utility. A nice house can improve family
dynamics, a big garden can make your kids healthy, a nice suit (and watch) can
get you a better job.

Some things are silly, but alot depends on who you are and what your plan is.

------
hias
Duh, you should live how you want to, not how others want you to live.

Also you should not date/marry a girl which only likes you if you drive a
specific car A, live in neighboorhood B, earn C and maintain society status Z.

You should work on your social skills if you can only get your neighbours to
like you if you drive the same car as them or earn more/thesame than them. If
they really dislike you because you are poorer than them or drive an older yet
safe car they aren't worth the effort.

------
tempodox
Listen to what I say to you, you really shouldn't listen to what others say,
do you hear me?

------
cwilkes
I like the example Rolex ad "Checking his watch costs Bill Gates $300 a
second. What is your time worth?"

To me the answer is "why are people checking their watches? They are losing
money." Probably not the conclusion a watch company wants to draw.

~~~
Joof
Doesn't it do the exact opposite of this? Bill Gates is continuously
accumulating money from various sources.

------
MrPatan
HN lately: [http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/585083/airplane-
fight-o.gif](http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/585083/airplane-fight-o.gif)

------
ImTalking
Same ideas as the The Millionaire Next Door.

------
beachstartup
i would spend my bottom dollar living in the best neighborhood i can afford.

i seriously doubt this guy has ever left the US.

------
jhanschoo
For those expecting a pop news cover of a research article, it isnt. It's a
blog post.

~~~
fffrad
Is it bad because it's a blog post?

