
Ask HN: How do you usually deal with toxic co-workers? - alphaka
- in the case where you have little or no choice to make them (or yourself) leave the job
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chipuni
My answer is: Unsuccessfully.

A different, more useful question is: How should you deal with toxic co-
workers?

It depends. Here's a guideline:

1\. If you can, talk with the coworker about what's making them toxic.

2\. If that doesn't work, or if you can't talk with them, then talk with HR or
the lowest-level boss that you have in common.

3\. If that doesn't work, then do what you can to not work with that person.

Good luck.

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protomyth
It would probably help if you spelled out what you mean by toxic in this
circumstance. There are some grades of toxicity that go from mildly annoying
to police involvement.

~~~
alphaka
i also agree, and apologize for not narrowing it down. the reason is probably
that the circumstance overarch the various degrees this term may entail.

but it generally involves throwing blames for mistakes or delays,
inconsiderate/provocative language, disorganisation and lack of focus ...

~~~
protomyth
If you cannot leave (which is a lot harder than some folks believe), then
documentation is basically your main answer. E-mail eventually hangs a lot of
people. Sadly, a lot of this stuff is solved by the exit interviews with HR,
but then its generally too late.

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nugi
Usually anyone referring to someone as 'toxic' is the one unwilling to meet
halfway. Start bu realizing you are both terrified little humans, bridge the
gap, and move on with life. No person is 'toxic', only or reactions to them.

Tldr; You can only fix you, so start on it.

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pinewurst
I leave. Any workplace that tolerates (and often even elevates) such people is
beyond salvage.

