Ask HN: What is some advice that has made your life better? - HiroshiSan
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staunch
It helped me a lot to fully internalize the reality that every person is truly
doing the best they can, given the genetics and environment they were dealt by
the universe.

There's no reason to feel hatred towards any person for being flawed. This
applies to yourself when you eat too many donuts as much as it applies to a
serial killer that tortures people. It simply doesn't make sense to feel
loathing for anyone. Pity is the rational response towards the flaws of
humans.

This doesn't mean people can't be improved _to a large extent_ with an
improved environment. This definitely works, which is why some self-help books
work for some people or why joining the military can help some people improve
themselves.

This realization also focuses your efforts on the environment (food, sleep,
exercise, books, etc) which is another great aspect of it. Knowing that the
way to improve a person is through environment removes the shame of failure.
The answer is always to improve the environment and never to blame the person
for not being better than they are genetically. Blame the environment for not
being good enough to help the person, and then improve the environment until
it is.

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yesenadam
_Treat yourself like you would treat someone you really love._

Something like that, it's part of Louise Hay's _How To Love Yourself_ , a one-
page list of things. Also I learnt from _Effortless Mastery_ (about piano
playing) to stop all the negative self-talk! Which I used to do a lot. Saying
awful, cruel, mean, self-defeating things to myself that I'd never say to
someone else. Being kind and patient with myself. I guess I had to learn that
while it's great trying to being kind to everyone--you yourself are one of
those people. That also helped overcome the very low self-esteem I'd been
bullied into at school and at home. And helped with happiness in life. :-D

~~~
Hamatti
Does this really help? I'm being very self-critical and way demanding towards
myself - on a level I would never require from anyone else. But I feel that's
the only way to really push forward and improve myself instead of stagnating
into the feeling of comfort.

~~~
yesenadam
Does stopping saying awful, cruel, mean, self-defeating things to oneself
help? To ask that is to answer it. Sure, I don't mean never to self-criticize.
That's how u get better. In _Effortless Mastery_ , he says--when you
rehearse/practise, then's the time for ruthless self-criticism etc.--but on
the gig, never. I used to, while playing gigs, often be thinking "Oh yuk! Oh
that sux. Oh no. Oh god Im so awful" constantly etc ..beating myself up, so it
sounded awful. Since then I totally stopped doing that; I just enjoy myself
and let the music flow. It's hard to believe I used to be so self-destructive.
It's so easy to be so mean to ourselves in a way we never would be with other
people. Maybe you didn't grow up with that problem. It's part of what 'loving
yourself' means, which I definitely had to learn, in my twenties.

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manibatra
For someone who hated routines and felt trapped. The simple advice that
schedules are my friend and I should schedule my day in a way that would make
me happy when I go to bed. Been doing this for 2 months now. Never been more
productive or happier.

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ceolin
There are two pieces of advice I never forgot:

The first one isn't actually an advice but a friend once told me this: "We
start dying when we stop being a child."

There are many things behind that advice. When we're kids we're always
curious, we ask questions, we seek answers, we don't care about making
mistakes, we're spontaneous, etc. I could list dozens of things. At some point
in life, we stop doing those things. We stop being a kid. We stop having all
those dreams we once had. That's when we begin to slowly die. In this world of
grow ups fighting each other because of stupid things, I'm always trying to
remind me myself to never stop being a child.

The second one is related to the Nonviolent Communication approach by Marshall
Rosenberg. There's always a big difference between what someone tells us and
what we understand. Most of the time we implicitly make a judgment about
others' actions and that judgment is just something from our mind. Many times
we get offended (or upset) by something we don't realize the other person had
no intentions whatsoever to offend or upset us. In the end, it's actually an
exercise of empathy: if something is upsetting or offending you, figure out
why before engaging in a useless fight with someone else.

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mkempe
Never do business with someone you don't trust.

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mkempe
Don't drink beer or coke while eating fondue.

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egfx
Do it. Just don't do it. But do it anyway.

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p0d
When you are buying a house and you know 100% know it’s the right one. Don’t
worry about it, there will be another one.

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oblib
You can learn something from everyone.

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fandorin
'If you don't move forward - you begin to move backward' \- my mother was
telling me this often and I completely agree with this.

Embrace the change, learn new skills, get new experiences. Do not settle.

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amorphous
You are not your thoughts. Took me 45 years to fully understand it.

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patatino
"Nobody really knows what they're doing. Some are just better at pretending
like they do." Kumail Nanjiani

Don't care too much what others think

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danieltillett
Never believe random advice from the internet.

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jurgenwerk
Don't work on weekends.

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kwaldman
Low carb,high fat, mod protein diet

Stoicism

Memento Mori

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drdrey
Get enough sleep

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meekins
Don't panic

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franzwong
Don't expect too much.

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kull
_feelings are an illusion_

~~~
HiroshiSan
Can you expand on this one?

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cm2012
Charge more

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japhyr
Work hard.

Be strong.

Don’t complain.

