
On nodevember - midgetjones
https://medium.com/@nodebotanist/on-nodevember-f28a42c4b62e#.4q4kzk38e
======
aikah
> That said, he’s still rude and a jerk.

So you insult people publicly, without a single fact to back up anything and
you want people to respect your opinion? you're not going win the argument
that way, not that you care obviously, but you're basically complaining about
CrockFord being unprofessional, while behaving in a non professional fashion
yourself. I'm sorry, but it's hard to give you the benefit of the doubt now.

This story hurts everybody, the node community first and foremost. Keep
spitting on the people who allowed Javascript to be what it is today.
Unbelievable.

archived : [https://archive.is/ae5wg](https://archive.is/ae5wg)

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ng12
Oh boo-hoo. Everyone has coworkers, colleagues, and/or acquaintances who are
jerks. You deal with them because you have to. If you're going to be a
professional and part of a professional community, act like it. You don't
throw your weight around like you're in a grade school popularity contest.

~~~
gravypod
Or as many adults do, you may choose to talk it out. It to me seems from the
outside that DC is the kind of person who would gladly talk it out with
someone else. It's funny to see grown adults who are, for all purposes are
pinnacle members of the development community demonstrating they are inept at
dealing with social situations.

I don't think I've ever met anyone in my life who, once confronted about the
thing they did that annoyed me, in a civil way, kept doing it around me. If
they wanted to continue the behavior they'd just do it with other people. I
think from my life experiences that people a very receptive to constructive
criticism while completely non receptive to "You're a horrible person"
statements.

It's not productive and doing things in that manor makes it impossible for
either side to see where everyone is coming from.

~~~
PavlovsCat
> I don't think I've ever met anyone in my life who, once confronted about the
> thing they did that annoyed me, in a civil way, kept doing it around me.

Which is why these tactics are how they are: You don't say anything until you
collected or fabricated enough grievances to burn all bridges. It's precisely
not about fairness (which would among other things imply single instead of
double standards) or working anything out, that's the one thing that has to be
avoided.

~~~
gravypod
> grievances to burn all bridges

You shouldn't be waiting that long. For a civil conversation to be had you
need to bring it up as soon as it starts happening.

Lets say for example that I am really really bad at remembering names. I am
working with a coworker who only wants to be called by their full last name,
not an abbreviation. Not knowing this, I start calling them by their
abbreviation and it annoys them significantly. They then confront me about
this and I explain why I didn't call them by their full name. I agree to try
harder and they agree to work on correcting me when I make the mistake. It's a
win win. We've crushed and bad feelings between us, resolved the problem with
the best possible outcome, and now I get to correctly refer to my coworker.

This only worked since they contacted me as soon as they realized my mistake
and gave me a chance to explain myself.

~~~
PavlovsCat
Indeed, but what you're describing is someone acting in good faith, what I was
describing is someone acting in bad faith and/or having a few marbles missing.

------
rhapsodic
She's presenting at this conference next month:

[http://frontporch.io/kassandra-perch/](http://frontporch.io/kassandra-perch/)

I wonder how she would like it if hundreds of people contacted them demanding
that they dis-invite her over her vicious hateful vendetta against Crockford,
lest they launch a campaign of boycotts and complaints against their corporate
sponsors.

People who live in glass houses, etc.

------
rhapsodic
Organizations will only stop caving to these vicious, hateful people when it
becomes more _costly_ to cave to them than to ignore them.

------
metaphorm
toxic statement from a toxic person

