
I Hired My Mom - bradt
http://bradt.ca/blog/i-hired-my-mom/
======
sergiotapia
I disagree: You caught a lucky break here, but you are the exception, not the
standard.

Family/friends and money don't mix well. They will always ruin the
relationship. I've seen it countless times.

~~~
wikwocket
Absolutely yes. I am happy for the OP, but I must also disagree with his
central point, i.e. "it's at least worth a try."

If things go south at all, you risk poisoning a family relationship. Family is
precious; you generally only get one family. And you just cannot undo some
types of damage done to/by family members.

I know a lot of people could hire their parents or siblings and get along
great, but I also know a lot of people that don't talk to whole sides of their
family after a nasty blowup. One should be very cautious when mixing money and
blood, and ready to walk away from one or the other in a pinch.

~~~
nimblegorilla
I agree with everything except the part about parents.

The problem arises when someone is irresponsible or has bad communication.

If you trust your parents and they are good with money then I think it is a
great idea if they are willing to help with accounting. Good parents are
always happy when their kids are successful.

Friends and other family members can cause problems even if the relationship
seems good.

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themodelplumber
My wife does the bookkeeping for my business; she has the perfect personality
for it, being financially minded and very much a details person. She was
second-in-command to a CFO back when we were both working for other companies,
and the CFO told me once that she basically ran the entire company's finances
for him. I definitely wouldn't call this outsourcing so much as a huge lucky
break. Every time I see her updating our accounts software (she prefers the
simplicity of AceMoney to Quicken), I feel relieved.

Lately I've thought a lot about this: If I didn't have a tax person, a
bookkeeper, a good freelance web developer friend, and a business consultant,
I estimate that I would have gone out of business (a third time) about five
years ago. The first and second times I failed in my businesses I had none of
those things. Now I'm finding even more people to share the load whenever I
find myself "in the grip of my inferior function" (Meyers-Briggs talk). The
alternative seems to be depression, anxiety, and everything that comes with
that.

------
jnardiello
Well, currently both my mom and dad are working with/for my company. My mom
manages the full book-keeping of the company). My father, because of the
general economical situation in Italy, was left jobless. So, as soon a
position opened at my company i simply proposed him to join. He is the
warehouse manager now.

The thing in working with parents, in case they eventually are accountant, is
that they can access all the figures of the company (for the good and for the
bad). Another aspect to consider is dealing with weird situations. They will
do bullshits and you need to tell them, as you would do with any other
employee. Dealing with this is not easy and requires a lot of communicative
skills and entrepreneurial experience.

~~~
notastartup
"Dad, let's have a chat in my office"

"What's up son?"

"Nothing dad just need you to come in here real quick"

"..."

"It's about your career, I'm letting you go dad"

"You were an accident."

"Nooooooooooo!"

~~~
6d0debc071
"Wow, I didn't think either of us could say anything to make this easier.
Thanks dad."

------
subway
I made the horrible mistake of partnering with my father on a business venture
last year, and it has significantly strained the relationship. That was with a
very clear line drawn between personal and business finances. I couldn't
imagine dealing with the mess of mixing business and personal finances in that
situation. _shudder_

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rafe33
I hope it works out. My personal rule to live by: Never hire someone you can't
fire.

~~~
leothekim
+1 to this. What if you need to fire your parent or spouse? Sure you might
feel like you can do it, but for a whole lot of people the power dynamics and
differentiating a personal relationship and professional one is tricky. I
mean, I wouldn't write a blog post recommending this.

Couple quick scenarios come to mind:

"Why are you firing me?" "I need someone more qualified. You've done good
work, It's not personal." "But I'm your mother. I changed your diapers and
taught you right from wrong." ...

"Mom, my business failed. I have no money." "Well, you should have thought of
that when you fired me." ...

~~~
rajanikanthr
"Well, you should have thought of that when you fired me."

perfect statement.. better to place mom or spouse in a company where you can
give recommendation and have contacts not in our own shop, unless you are
running coffeshop (OK I guess :)

------
wvenable
I tried outsourcing my financials to my wife (who works in accounting) and it
did not work out. Relationship wise it wasn't good but also found out after
switching back that was happier and more productive doing it myself.

~~~
codegeek
what were the issues specifically with this if you don't mind sharing. My wife
(who is an accountant) has been pestering me to hire as a contractor to do my
one man business bookkeeping and for some reason, I keep avoiding that
discussion. May be your story can give me some more insight.

------
terrellm
We (my wife and I) hired my mom to run my e-commerce stores after she retired.
She is paid an above-average hourly rate, can set her hours, and can work from
home. Knowing that we would be giving someone access to a merchant account
that has a significant amount of money run through it each month, we had to
have someone we could trust to process refunds and occasionally charge
additional amounts when orders were upgraded.

She spends 1-3 hours a day managing the stores while my dad works on his model
trains. It's enough to keep her busy, have a sense of accomplishment similar
to her old job, provide a little extra income - all while not cramping their
retirement.

I was a little nervous at first - more about her feeling pressure to make us
happy than us being satisfied with her work. However, her role is clearly
defined (answer emails, return phone calls, and submitted/track orders to our
supplier, etc). This reduces the chance of misunderstandings or let-downs than
would be more likely to occur with a less defined role like strategy or
marketing.

------
bradt
Thanks for the comments! Bonus stories for you wonderful HN'ers:

My dad started out as an auto mechanic and painter. He decided to setup his
own shop with his first cousin and it was a disaster. They butted heads
constantly. My dad sold his shares to his partner and moved on to other
things. They tried it, it didn't work out, and so they moved on. Throughout my
childhood our family was very close with my dad's first cousin and his family.
They relationship is still strong today.

My mother and her brother had a dispute about money over fifteen years ago.
They still do not speak today.

Family and friends can be tricky when it involves money, there is no question.

~~~
sergiotapia
See this: "My mother and her brother had a dispute about money over fifteen
years ago. They still do not speak today." \- This is exactly what is the norm
when mixing business and family and it's absolutely heart breaking. I can't
imagine how you must feel. :(

------
TrainedMonkey
What I got out of article, is that when you are one person company and do not
want to do something boring, become a two* person company.

* Author calls this outsourcing, but I simply can't see that. If we buy that, we might as well buy that all other companies consist of CEO and a bunch of people he 'outsources' lower level things to.

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schenecstasy
I hired your mother too, Trebek.

~~~
bradt
This is my favourite comment so far.

~~~
code_duck
It was very tempting to make that comment. Thanks to schenectasy for stepping
up for all of us.

------
joncooper
See:

[http://rapgenius.com/51490/The-notorious-big-ten-crack-
comma...](http://rapgenius.com/51490/The-notorious-big-ten-crack-
commandments/7-this-rule-is-so-underrated-keep-your-family-and-business-
completely-separated)

------
chrisrhoden
"I can’t think of a single reason you should be doing this yourself."

followed by

"But how do you outsource something as sensitive as financials?"

Sounds like a single reason.

------
mbesto
My dad, who's run a small business successfully for 25+ years, recently
retired and I've agreed to have him support me on the operations side of my
business. My mom is by far the best usability study ever. She's in her 60s and
doesn't get technology that well but can use pinterest. If my website is
usable for her, it'll be usable for anyone.

------
crimsonalucard
Many business decisions require a certain level of ruthless efficiency to
execute. These decisions are fundamentally incompatible the nurturing
relationships established in family units or friendships.

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vikas5678
I think I missed the part where this is a tax deductible expense for him?
Otherwise I think I'd keep my family away from my startup. Its stressful
enough without having to add family into the mix.

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izolate
Congrats. I agree completely.

My mom is a fantastic freelance bookkeeper. The day I go at it alone, she's
going to be my first "hire".

------
danielhonigman
Good for you. Hope it works out again!

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elwell
Six months later: "I Fired My Mom (and now our relationship is weird)"

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powertry
Really interesting, though it may really vary for most based on what skill
sets their immediate relations have.

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notastartup
this was very touching to read and it's encouraged me to do the same. I don't
have a wife or a fiance but I would never entrust them with this kind of
sensitive material because there's a real risk of relationships souring. With
family it's easier to deal with and it's easier to communicate instead of
trying to bury things in order to not ruin a marriage.

"Hey Ma, need you to stop hiding grocery purchases under company's funds, if
you wanna keep your job"

"But I'm your mother"

"Okay, alright, just don't do it again"

vs.

"Hey babe, need you to stop buying expensive items under company's funds"

"fine, since you don't love me you can marry someone else"

"nooooooooo!"

~~~
whatusername
Here's a pro-tip. When you're finding a wife or a fiancé -- find one with
integrity. I'm not sure I'd want to stay married to someone who could come out
with that.

------
paskakapu2
You basically practice nepotism. Most of your staff and peers and people
around you consider that as a form of corruption. Congratulations.

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nepotism](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nepotism)

~~~
booruguru
Why does nepotism get such a bad rap? I mean, nobody cares about nepotism in a
family owned convenience store or restaurant or gas station. So when does it
become a problem--in a particular industry? Or is there a certain number of
employees (or a certain amount of revenue) that needs to be reached before it
constitutes corruption?

