
Cocktails for programmers - bencevans
https://github.com/the-teacher/cocktails_for_programmers/blob/master/cocktails_for_programers.md
======
teddyh
The title “Cocktails for programmers” gives me the same feeling as would the
phrase “Leaf blowers for stamp collectors”.

Yes, a stamp collector might use a leaf blower, but it would not be relevant
to collecting stamps. On the contrary, using a leaf blower _while_ collecting
stamps would be… inadvisable.

~~~
lucaspiller
Agreed.

Further reading: [http://old.ryanfunduk.com/culture-of-
exclusion/](http://old.ryanfunduk.com/culture-of-exclusion/)

~~~
hamburglar
I can appreciate not liking the brogrammer phenomenon, and not being
interested in conferences that are so party-focused, but this guy really has a
huge bug up his ass about other people enjoying themselves. "I'm not
interested in 'partying hard', I want to talk with like-minded people about
subjects I don't necessarily get to talk about at the office." Well, guess
what, you can't force people to sit down and talk nodejs with you if they want
to drink instead. Sorry the world isn't the way you really really want it to
be.

The guy seems to be interpreting a lot of his examples in the worst possible
light, too. Example: Q: Is there space set up for hacking? A: We have done
this for previous conferences, but to be honest people were having too much
social fun to really take advantage of the space. Translation: Y U NO
DRINKING!?

That's a stupid translation. They set up hacking space before and very few
people used it, so they didn't bother this time. You have your cause and
effect backwards if you think this means they're trying to force you to drink.

Or: "Perks for working for them include dental coverage, and 'weekly happy
hour'. Those who don't want to participate in getting sloshed regularly...
need not apply?"

Jesus, dude, settle down. You've taken a perk of employment and turned it into
a statement that if you don't drink you're not welcome? Please let go of your
persecution complex. I know it's really fun to be indignant that others
encouraging you to have a good time is so totally unfair, but it's really no
different than people saying "No seriously, The Wire is fucking fantastic! You
have to watch it!"

Interacting with humans isn't that hard if you allow yourself and others to
actually act like humans.

~~~
teddyh
> you can't force people to sit down and talk nodejs with you if they want to
> drink instead.

Apparently, if you give most technical conference attendees the option (and
venue, drinks, transport, etc), they _will_ opt for going drinking in
environments not suited for conversation. If this happens, I interpret it as a
_failure_ of the conference organizers. Why? Because their job is to organize
a _conference_ , not a party. If they want to leave some time for people to
party (or pray, or go skinny-dipping, or windsurfing, etc.), then they can do
so. However, to _actively encourage_ people to be non-networking and to not
talk (usefully) about the actual conference topic is, in my view, an anti-
pattern of conferences.

~~~
jlgreco
Perhaps your idea of what a conference is, and what is well-suited for it,
does not mesh with observed reality. Maybe that sort of conference just is not
for you (I know your idea of a conference is not for _me_ ).

I've got to say though, even _heavy_ drinking has never stopped me from having
technical conversations with people, even in crowded bars...

~~~
teddyh
(I think you are reading into my comment something I did not write. I do not
know what you think my "idea of a conference" would be.)

I have tried to have technical conversations at parties and in bars with
people I know to be interested in and knowledgeable in the topic. It's
basically impossible.

Firstly, the loud music and other conversation makes it very hard to hear what
they're saying, and the things said therefore tend to be simplified into what
can be said simply in short words.

Secondly, they are often drunk and/or more interested in talking about beer or
something than the topic they presumably are at the conference to advance.
This is, of course, understandable; they're not _expecting_ to have anything
whatsoever to do with the conference topic at the party, since nobody else is,
either.

Thirdly, there are no whiteboards to use as discussion aids. It's also quite
dark, and it's often cramped so you can't easily show somebody something by
moving around. Basically, bars and party rooms are not exactly conducive to
productive discussions. (In the past there would also be no internet and,
further back, no computers, but that has thankfully become a non-issue these
days.)

~~~
jlgreco
My issue is this line: _" Because their job is to organize a conference, not a
party."_

You are saying that conferences should not be like parties, because
conferences are not like parties. You are just using your restricted
definition of conference (not like a party) to support what you think a
conference should be (not like a party). My take on it is that some
conferences _empirically do_ have many similarities to parties. This doesn't
make them 'not conferences', so saying _" their job is to organize a
conference, not a party"_ is setting up a dichotomy that doesn't actually
exist.

If that isn't your sort of conference, then no problem, not everything is for
everybody. _Personally_ I prefer more intimate technical conversations over a
beer, a bar napkin, and a cellphone than sterile professional presentations in
front of a whiteboard. Obviously you do not, and that is perfectly fine as
well. There is room in this world for both; there is no reason to discourage
one or the other from existing.

~~~
teddyh
> You are saying that conferences should not be like parties, because
> conferences are not like parties

Not quite.

What I am saying is that conferences and parties have different goals. The
goal of a conference is to advance the field. The goal of a party is to have
fun. The goal of a conference is not advanced by organizing a party, nor is
the goal of a party advanced by organizing a conference.

A conference _can_ (and perhaps _should_ ) have many elements of a party in it
— evening social activities, perhaps even in a bar where alcolhol (gasp!) is
consumed. All of this may be perfectly fine. But, these activities should be
organized with _the goal of the conference_ in mind.

However, what many conference organizers seem to do is fill the days with
talks, (while minimizing the time between talks to fit as many as possible),
and then on the evenings they try to organize the best _party_ they can think
of. The best _party_ , mind you, not the best _socializing activity_ , which
might have advanced the networking in the field, but the best _party_ ,
whatever the tastes of the organizers and/or the prospective attendees.

This makes the conference a series of undiscussed talks in the daytime,
followed by a series of usually pounding party keggers at night. The talks can
be watched at home if they are filmed, and the parties can be had locally,
too. There is no reason to attend these kinds of conferences. Unless, of
course, you are _already_ connected and go to any number of conferences a year
and meet all the same people — your party buddies.

~~~
jlgreco
> _The goal of a conference is to advance the field. The goal of a party is to
> have fun. The goal of a conference is not advanced by organizing a party,
> nor is the goal of a party advanced by organizing a conference._

That is nothing more than your _personal take_ on what a conference _should_
be. The reality is that many conferences _aren 't_ like that. It is no skin
off your back if other people have a different idea if what a conference
should be, and implement their vision of a conference.

Nobody is saying you have to go enjoy a party-like conference, and all I am
saying is that you in turn should not tell other people that they shouldn't.

~~~
teddyh
I still think you see me through some kind of tinted shades which makes you
think I am saying things I am not saying.

However, I have run out of ideas on how to explain myself in yet other ways.

EDIT: I think now that we are having a word definition debate here. When you
say that “many conferences aren't like that“, then I would call those themed
parties, not conferences.

~~~
jlgreco
You're saying that conferences should not place too much emphasis the party
aspects, because that is not the purpose of a conference. Right?

Well I'm saying that I think that is too imposing.

It would be like me saying that bowling alleys should be careful not to place
too much emphasis on drinking, because the purpose of a bowling alley is to
compete with others at rolling a ball at things. Who am I to say that others
shouldn't think that the purpose of bowling is to drink with friends while
occasionally rolling a ball around? I shouldn't impose my idea of the purpose
of bowling on other people.

I hope it is clear what I mean.

~~~
teddyh
I think you are doing the same faulty comparison you made with board games in
another comment. The purpose of all those activities (party, board games,
bowling) is _to have fun_. I'm saying that the very definition of a conference
is that it has a different goal. Conferences can (and _should_ , by all means
possible) be as fun as possible, but _with the goal of the conference taking
slight precedence_.

Since having a party-like atmosphere will make people come to the conference,
by all means conferences should have them. But one should keep in mind that
the party-like atmosphere does not obscure or negate the purpose of the
conference in the first place.

~~~
jlgreco
_" I'm saying that the very definition of a conference is that it has a
different goal. ... the goal of the conference taking slight precedence."_

So long as you realize that this sentence is just a statement your own
_personal_ opinion, not some sort of universal truth about conferences, then I
don't think we have any issue. The goal, or purpose, of a conference is
something for organizers and participants to decide for themselves.

(The answer to _" You think maybe I should write a long-winded self-
aggrandizing blog post about this culture of exclusion?"_ is _" No you should
not jlgreco, because that would make you (even more of) an insufferable
cock."_)

~~~
teddyh
Well, I guess it comes down to what the definition of “conference” is, I
suppose.

~~~
cdcarter
Yes. That's why he opened his initial response with "perhaps your idea of what
a conference is [...]"

------
tptacek
Malibu, Crème de Menthe, Jager, Triple Sec, Vodka & Coke, Kahlua. These seem
like cocktails for programmers... earlier in their careers, shall we say.

~~~
rayiner
My wife is a bourbon/whiskey snob. She mocks me when I make a jack and coke.

~~~
tptacek
(a) your wife is awesome, (b) I too am a whiskey snob, (c) there's really
nothing wrong with Jack Daniels or for that matter with jack & coke, (d) there
is something wrong with mixing vodka and cola and calling it a cocktail.

~~~
poolpool
there are many things wrong with Jack Daniels.

~~~
vadman
But the good thing about it, unlike its superior rival George Dickel, is that
JD is not owned by Diageo. It's a pity that I have to boycott Dickel because
of that, but I'm not giving my money to those assholes.

EDIT: and yeah, rayiner's wife is awesome :)

~~~
js2
That's a lot of brands to boycott, including, sadly Guiness.

~~~
vadman
Unfortunately yes. But there is lots of good stuff outside the Diageo umbrella
:)

------
westicle
A good cocktail showcases and highlights the component spirit(s) to make a
more interesting and (hopefully) tasty drink.

Unfortunately when cocktails are based on nasty components, they often end up
trying to disguise the spirit with sugary mixers like fruit juice or coke.

If you're interested in cocktails and don't mind diving in the deep end, try
an authentic Sazerac:

[http://www.esquire.com/drinks/sazerac-drink-
recipe](http://www.esquire.com/drinks/sazerac-drink-recipe)

Remember: the point is to highlight the primary spirit, so start with
something good: [http://www.anchordistilling.com/spirits/old-potrero-
straight...](http://www.anchordistilling.com/spirits/old-potrero-straight-rye-
whiskey)

~~~
vadman
+1

Felten's book ( [http://www.amazon.com/Hows-Your-Drink-Cocktails-
Drinking/dp/...](http://www.amazon.com/Hows-Your-Drink-Cocktails-
Drinking/dp/157284101X) ) has a good overview of all the classic cocktails,
and in general is an interesting read. I have yet to try the Sazerac, having 3
bottles of rye at home... Shame :(

Also, the "original" pre-rye Sazerac was done with Cognac, gotta try that at
some point as well.

------
bookface
It's missing the BASIC:

    
    
        10 tequila
        20 GOTO 10

~~~
cgore
A beginning programmer will think that's an infinite loop, but anyone familiar
with tequila will know better.

~~~
kennywinker
It'll run until the stack overflows.

~~~
perturbation
But gotos don't add a layer to the... oh. Oh, I see.

------
ibejoeb
Gotta chime in here because I do this professionally.

This is why people don't like cocktails. These are seriously terrible. I
wouldn't serve any of these, ever.

I don't want to be overly negative here, but no number of pull requests will
fix this. Rather than try to salvage these, I will offer take out anyone who's
interested and introduce you to a bunch of the top folks in the food and drink
biz. There's really not a friendlier group of people, and learning about wine
and spirits is a lot of fun.

~~~
ddoolin
I disagree that "this" is why people don't like cocktails. That's a very broad
statement, encompassing thousands of (existing) drinks that are great. I think
it's more of a taste preference and has little to do with bad prior
experiences. If said people are basing the totality of drinking cocktails
based on their first go at it, there may be a bigger problem there.

~~~
ibejoeb
Over here
([https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6374955](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6374955))
you say, "I never quite acquired a taste for more refined liquors."

Why not? I'm afraid you haven't had anything good. There's no reason you
shouldn't like "more refined" (good) products if you like the bad ones. Also,
it's not just the quality of the product. For instance, Jaegermeister is a
quality product, but the drink he makes with it is arbitrary. Would you like a
tomato, peanut butter, and mustard sandwich?

The offer stands. Take me up. I'll buy you a drink.

~~~
ddoolin
I have a very insensitive palette, which is probably to blame for apathy when
it comes to variation. Most coffees, liquors, other drinks, tobacco products,
and even foods taste almost exactly the same to me, despite consuming
different brands/combinations/recipes of all of them for years, whereas my
peers have developed discernible tastes when it comes to such things.

Or it could be as you say and I've never really indulged in what could be
considered truly superior products. Sometimes I'm not really sure.

I will indeed. I'm curious if it's just me.

~~~
axaxs
Honest question....are you a tobacco user? If so, that explains it. I am, and
also have an insensitive pallette. Never notice it except in those "quitting"
passes.

------
jpea
So, PHP is the one where they mix all of the ingredients in your liquor
cabinet together and top it with a raw egg, right?

~~~
giaour
I was thinking that the recipe for PHP would be: 1\. Drink entire bottle of
tequila 2\. Vomit into a dirty glass 3\. Drop glass

~~~
Killswitch
As a PHP developer who likes tequila. I'm down for this.

~~~
TeMPOraL
drink(tequila) or die();

~~~
christianmann
Come on, man.

    
    
        drink($tequila) or die();

~~~
fein
So close...

    
    
        drink($tequila) or die("Vomiting...");

------
yawgmoth
The C#, it turns out, is the same as a Java but with a finer stock of
liqueurs. The recipe for C#.NET however, is proprietary and no one can quite
explain why one in a thousand makes you ill, or why the bottom of the glass
seems to fall out sometimes.

~~~
ingas
In which way C# and .NET is proprietary?

WCF, WindowsForms, EntityFramework are proprietary. But nobody in sane mind
will use them.

~~~
Pxtl
I am proficient in all three of those technologies.

I was about to object... but yeah, you're pretty much spot-on. I still say
that, except for the omgwtfbbq databinding stuff, Winforms was a fine
technology for its time. It's just that its time is past and MS doesn't ever
update anything, they just abandon-and-replace with something horribly
baroque.

EF is my definition for "so close, and yet so far".

I have no idea what the heck happened with WCF though. Seriously, I can't even
find the kernel of good ideas that got corrupted in the process of
implementation like I can with those other two.

~~~
ingas
WinForms - in fact is OK. It's just old.

WCF and EF - "oh noes". My eyes are bleeding with just one look at this.

Microsoft can make something simple and brilliant as TPL, but on other side we
have such overengineered behemots as WCF and EF.

------
venti
Another cocktail is the "Tschunk", which is hugely popular with hackers here
in Germany. See the recipe here:
[https://entropia.de/Tschunk](https://entropia.de/Tschunk) (the main
ingredient, a carbonated, caffeinated soda called "Club-Mate" is difficult to
source outside of Germany, though).

~~~
TeMPOraL
Hackerspaces around the world tend to figure out how to get it. It's hard to
get in Poland, and yet in Hackerspace Kraków we have a crate ;).

~~~
Wingman4l7
It must be the unofficial beverage of hackerspaces -- the one in Canberra,
Australia has an old glass-door refrigerator case full of it, and the empties
line the back wall:
[http://www.flickr.com/photos/wil5oncle7us/8764800032/in/pool...](http://www.flickr.com/photos/wil5oncle7us/8764800032/in/pool-
makehackvoid)

~~~
TeMPOraL
It is.

[http://hackerspaces.org/wiki/The_Club_Mate_Pattern](http://hackerspaces.org/wiki/The_Club_Mate_Pattern)

------
pittboy
Awesome idea. My friends at ActiveState had a release party and went to the
bar to celebrate over drinks. One of the guys ordered a round of shots for the
group "12 shots please, half Tequila and half Jager" The waitress took him
literally and brought 12 shots, all with half Tequila and half Jager.

The release included a GUI version of an existing command line tool because a
certain customer wrote in saying "F&*k this DOS prompt BS, I want a GUI".

We now call this awful shot "The DOS Prompt"

------
meerita
I don't see a campari one, :D but here goes my daily cocktail:

1\. half glass of Campari bitter. 2\. Ice 3\. orange 4\. a shot of water-soda

(never use tonic or white wine, if you like it a bit more alcoholic then use
some cava or champagne [sprinkledwine])

~~~
jdminhbg
Campari and soda is a fantastic drink. Refreshing and not super high in
alcohol, yet bitter instead of cloying and sweet. For future reference, since
it looks like you are not a native English speaker, the phrase for non-
Champagne champagne is "sparkling wine."

~~~
meerita
Thanks for the tip! the correct word in italian is "prosecco"

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosecco](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosecco)

------
CmonDev
Ruby, Python and Perl... So nothing strong at the moment?

------
aylons
C is pure vodka, hard, powerful and without any flavor.

Assembly is pure ethanol.

Still thinking how would VHDL be... thinking about raw sugar cane to make your
own alcohol from there.

~~~
rthomas6
I think VHDL would be like a chemistry lab. You could create ethanol pretty
easily. You could also make a lot of other things.

------
stuaxo
Each to their own, these all look undrinkable though!

~~~
ronaldx
Change some ingredients and A/B test them.

~~~
leif
With initial recipes like these, you'd quickly reach very low local maxima.

~~~
Blahah
git history serves as a Tabu list, and different people's tastes will serve as
a stochastic breakout. If lots of people have a go it will de-facto be a
particle swarm tabu. Even with a single starting point there's a good chance
of global optimisation.

------
skisly
Nice... tomorrow will get "Python" for start I think the result will be
"Memory Leak" and party will be over after "Epic Fail" :)

------
sdfjkl
Lacks a non-alcoholic option, for programmers who need to do programming.

~~~
windsurfer
Are you referencing: [http://xkcd.com/323/](http://xkcd.com/323/) ?

------
ciderpunx
Hex on the beach.

Sorry.

~~~
vjoel
In a big-endian glass.

------
kvcrawford
This is nonsense. I'll have a Jameson on the rocks, please.

~~~
mtts
Jameson, aka the whisk(e)y for people who don't like whisk(e)y.

It's smooth, soft and pleasant, nothing like the nasty, grating stuff they
produce in Scotland. A favorite of mine, for sure.

~~~
vadman
Scotland has 100 distilleries in 5 major whiskey-producing regions with their
own traditions. There is really no such thing as "scotch", they are all
different, so this generalization is wrong.

------
wturner
I suppose 'brainfuck' would be a Absinthe mix of some sort

~~~
rplnt
Absinthe + pear juice is great. Also absinthe + energy drink of some sorts.
Though somewhat good absinthe is necessary for it as fake/cheap brands are
really horrible.

~~~
zedpm
Can you recommend some good ones, preferably ones that are available in the
US? I've heard good things about North Shore's Sirène...

~~~
rplnt
I can't, sorry. I'm in Europe and drink mostly local ones. But you might check
this out for hints
[http://www.reddit.com/r/absinthe](http://www.reddit.com/r/absinthe)

------
JonnieCache
Now I want a bartending robot with it's own drink-mixing DSL.

~~~
gknoy
It appears there's a bartending robot in the works:

[http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/partyrobotics/bartendro-...](http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/partyrobotics/bartendro-
a-cocktail-dispensing-robot)

Now you just need an R2 to deliver them. ;)

------
cowls
Nice ideas, though I think java is sorely missed here,

~~~
pohl
Rum & Coke: simple, gets the job done, and packed with regret.

~~~
cowls
I was hoping for coffee based :P

------
dylanrw
While not themed after languages and such, I keep a gist of my favorite
cocktails I either want to try or the recipes me and my friends have come to
enjoy:
[https://gist.github.com/dylan/6093669](https://gist.github.com/dylan/6093669)

My engineering pals think me using a gist to store recipes is funny... :P

~~~
Agathos
[http://forkthecookbook.com/](http://forkthecookbook.com/)

~~~
dylanrw
Very nice.

------
edsiper2
I am turning 33, give me a Memory Leak please!

[https://github.com/the-
teacher/cocktails_for_programmers/blo...](https://github.com/the-
teacher/cocktails_for_programmers/blob/master/cocktails_for_programers.md#memory-
leak)

------
vezzy-fnord
Hmmm...

First we had the 'how to shoot yourself in the foot in X language' jokes.

Now we'll have jokes about what cocktails different programming languages
would be. Not bad, I might compile them in a page some day.

------
reccles
I'm surprised there isn't a "java" with some sort of coffee +liqueur.

or

Lua Kahlua.

------
ArekDymalski
Hmmm... so I the recipe for Befunge would be: 1. Pour a pint of beer 2. Pour a
shot glass of vodka 3. Drop the glass into the beer 4. Drink quickly 5. Start
flowing in all directions

------
tbrake
Reminds me that webtender is still going strong.

The younguns at work were terrified of its layout and design when I showed it
to them but it's a solid site.

------
mwsherman
C# would need to be citrus-y (C and sharp). It would go very quickly but might
take a while to build.

------
arvinjoar
Why not specify the amounts in centiliters? All the amounts end with 0 anyway.

------
TeMPOraL
Any ideas for Lisp drink?

~~~
BadassFractal
The bartender hands you the bottles and the shaker, do it yourself.

------
daGrevis
I really like Long Island Iced Tea, what about other hackers?

------
deletes
So according to logic, assembler is pure alcohol?

~~~
RWeaver
Minimal frills I would think

And then there's machine code - industrial alcohol

~~~
deletes
Did you mean Methanol which is like alcohol but toxic.

------
chatman
More useful is Mojito Cocktails
[https://github.com/yahoo/mojito](https://github.com/yahoo/mojito)

