

Slow, free range, idle parents can increase IQ and happiness - sleepingbot
http://faircompanies.com/blogs/view/slow-free-range-idle-parents-can-increase-iq-and-happiness/

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btilly
An interesting insight on this in _Freakonomics_ is that things we _do_ with
our children don't affect their long-term development as strongly as things we
_are_.

Take the effort to make yourself whatever kind of person you want your kids to
grow up to be, and they are more likely to grow up into that person.

For example reading 50 books to your toddler is good for short-term amusement
followed by teaching your kids that "books are for kids" leading to a belief
that they've outgrown "silly books". By contrast letting your toddler see you
read what you like teaches your toddler that "books are for grownups" and your
kid will naturally model their behavior on yours.

My personal attitude is that I want my children to grow up curious,
inquisitive and self-motivated. Supplying external structure can't supply
those traits, I have to model them instead.

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dunstad
You wouldn't happen to have a link to the study you mention, would you?

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btilly
No. You'll have to read the book to find the reference. Sorry.

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rdtsc
From the article: "In 1972, 87% of kids who lived within a mile of school
walked or biked daily. Today, only 13% of children bike, walk or get
themselves to school."

Interesting point. I remember growing up in the middle of a city, playing
outside for hours at a time without my parents' supervision when I was 5. Then
when I was 7 I was taking public transportation to school or, if the weather
was nice, I would walk 5 or 6 blocks home.

But that was decades ago and in a different country. I wonder if in US today
my parents would be reported for "child neglect" if they let me do the same
things they let me do then.

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nostrademons
Couple friends of mine let their two daughters, ages 5 and 10, walk to the
park alone. A block away (within shouting distance), with a cell phone, and
mom home and ready to come get them if there was any trouble.

Their ex-roommate called Child Protective Services on them.

They were eventually cleared, but the whole experience was a hugely stressful
nightmare for them, with multiple visits by social workers and threats to take
their children away. So yeah, your parents would probably be reported for
child neglect if they let you roam free like that.

~~~
rdtsc
That is really sad and disturbing. Somehow I think most people nowadays would
side with the person that did the reporting. I wish people watched less TV
hype and instead used their heads to critically assess risks and dangers.

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julius_geezer
Thoreau on Goethe (_A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers_, Thursday):

"He was even too _well-bred_ to be thoroughly bred. He says that he had had no
intercourse with the lowest class of his towns-boys. The child should have the
advantage of ignorance as well as knowledge, and is fortunate if he gets his
share of neglect and exposure."

But one should not minimize the level of surveillance that was there for the
boomers. A lot of mothers did not work, and though playtime was not
micromanaged, it was not that easy to get away with serious mischief.

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s3graham
Seems fairly uncontroversial to me, but I'm not in the target demographic yet.

Can anyone enlighten me as to why reading Kipling to a child might be
considered "recklessness" these days?

~~~
kirstendirksen
For some parents not enrolling their kids in every possible class (from sports
to arts) or encouraging their participation in debate or math clubs is somehow
failing to prepare them adequately for a competitive college/job market. The
idea that actually stepping back and saying "just one extracurricular per
year" might actually be better for your kids is controversial for "helicopter
parents".

As for Kipling, I would assume the reference I took (from another critic) was
referring to either Kipling's more adult books or reading the Jungle Book to
very young kids. As a parent of a 2-year-old who is tired of reading and re-
reading most of the very simple books in the young kids' section of the
library (I agree with gvb regarding many modern storybooks), I'm inspired to
pull out something more mature that I might enjoy more as well.

~~~
ismarc
I'm at one far end of the spectrum, but I was reading Stephen King in 5th/6th
grade, read Anna Karenina (chosen myself) in 7th grade for a book report and
had read nearly all of Tolstoy's works by the end of 9th grade. My parents
never had a punishment for failure, only failures without effort. The idea was
to set your goals so high that they cannot possibly be accomplished. It still
holds to today for me...when I don't reach the goals I set for myself, I'm not
disappointed, I look at how good I actually did do. The only time this is an
issue is when coming up with those annual and semi-annual review goals that
determine are used to measure if you're going to get a reasonable merit
increase or not.

