
A Breakthrough for U.S. Troops: Combat-Ready Pizza - extarial
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/20/us/army-pizza-mre-field-rations.html
======
matt_the_bass
I was an intern in that lab more than 20 years ago. I have lots of cool
stories from there. The people I worked with were AWESOME! This really
surprised me how much they cared about their work with minimal salary and
funding.

At the time, one project was to simulate a 30 year shelf life by storing food
in a 100 deg F “heat room” for 10 years. Periodically a sample would be taken
out for testing (chemical, mechanical and taste). Imagine the taste! The
samples were full size recipes but only a small portion of the food was used.
The rest was put out on a table just before lunchtime and was available for
anyone on the campus to eat. Needless to say, I made it a rule to never eat
anything I didn’t prepare myself or whitnessed being prepared!

One project I really liked was the desert dehydration project. One scientist
was testing how frozen yogurt and ice cream could be dehydrated. Again a full
industrial size was made with a soft serve dispenser but only a small portion
was used for the tests. All summer an new variety was tested each week. So the
scientist incharge scheduled the “sample preparation” every Wednesday at 2pm.
There would be a long line ready for the leftovers. Let’s just say I
whitnessed these being prepared.

~~~
Dennip
Do you know if anything fruitful ever came of the dehydration experiment?

FYI it's spelled 'witnessed', no 'h' :)

~~~
aptwebapps
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freeze-
dried_ice_cream](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freeze-dried_ice_cream)

------
DoreenMichele
_Soldiers have always groused about their chow, of course. Generations of
generals have repeated the adage that armies march on their stomachs, but few
ever mentioned taste buds._

Adding to the anecdotes here:

My dad was an E-8 in the army. He told a lot of stories about cutting through
the bureaucratic BS to look out for the welfare of his people. He was very
savvy about the fact that simply being in charge actively created obstacles to
him knowing what was really going on at the lower levels.

One of his stories that sticks with me:

He inspected the chow hall by walking in unannounced and taking the tray from
the guy coming off the line, then telling the staff to get the guy a
replacement tray post haste so he wasn't unduly screwed over in the process.
This meant they couldn't set aside any special cuts of meat or whatever just
for The Sarge. He knew he was eating what they ate because he was eating a
tray prepared for one of the troops, not for him. He gave them no warning so
they couldn't have this day be the day everything was better or whatever.

I'm not convinced MREs are an improvement over the old rations. I've eaten
MREs. They are pretty bad. I've heard stories from my dad about the old
rations and some of it was apparently okay.

I'm not a fan of microwave meals either. MREs strike me as sort of like that.
It is some new fangled means to do x, y or z that actually lowers food
quality. Though I have read that in WW2, there were two different bugs that so
regularly infested the flour with which biscuits were made for soldiers, that
soldiers could tell you which bug they preferred to end up eating because one
of them made the biscuits very bitter. So maybe it isn't quite as simple as I
like to imagine.

Anyway, this looks like a good thing to me. The article mentions that pizza is
"ubiquitous" in the US. That's actually understating it's popularity. From
what I gather, it is actually the most widely eaten food globally and they do
things like put fish on it in Japan.

~~~
mrhappyunhappy
I was just at a resort hotel in Japan and went over to the pizza bar for some
sausage pizza (hopefully) only to find pizza with varieties of fish :( it’s
actually kind of hard to find really good American style pizza here. The same
goes for burgers - everything has weird ingredients, sauces or the meat is not
100% (mixed with some other stuff). Don’t get me wrong, the food is amazing,
but once in a while I just want some ham and pineapple or meat lovers shitty
papa johns, ya know? I would choke a child over some Chicago deep dish right
about now.

~~~
sho
> it’s actually kind of hard to find really good American style pizza here
    
    
      And when she was good, she was very, very good,
      But when she was bad she was horrid
    

I have to admit Japan is weird like that. Food is either world class (when
they "get it") or it's simply awful (when they don't). There's no good Thai in
Tokyo, no good hamburgers, no good Mexican, not even much decent Italian
(Saizeriya. Dear God). Not really even any good bread, if you like crusty
sourdough.

There's a complicated calculus at work between what the market wants, its
expectation when it gets it, and what it will pay. When those factors align
you will get absolutely world class food. When they don't, for whatever
reason, you get absolutely nonsensical garbage. The best Thai that I know of
in Tokyo, a city of 30+ million people, I would equate to a 3rd rate strip
mall takeout place in my home country. And yet the crappiest 5-for-100¥ gyouza
in Tokyo is better than any gyouza in Australia.

The market drives everything, and the japanese market knows nothing about
pizza. I've felt your pain. Eat a lot when you get back home.

update: just noticed that you wanted ham and pineapple pizza. I withdraw my
sympathetic remarks. I consider fish pizza an appropriate punishment

~~~
mmjaa
I had great burgers in Shibuya. Good Pizza in Koenji. Great Italian in
Asagaya-kita. McDonalds Roppongi: not so great, but then .. low expectations
there. I think it depends where you get out - these are not tourist-type
restaurants, but rather novelties for the neighbourhoods.

For sure, stay the heck away from Japanese bread. Worst experience ever:
biting into a nice freshly baked roll, to find fish paste where I thought
would be some kinda jam. Gross.

Traditional Japanese food, and all the fixings in between, can be very, very
good. I loved my Ramen days, my Korean BBQ too. Tokyo food was good for me
after a year.

You've gotta get out into the neighborhoods. Same as anywhere, really.

------
drewg123
There is a great review of the Pizza MRE here:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_sY-
nJ179U](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_sY-nJ179U)

This guy's channel is quite entertaining. He eats really odd stuff, like WWII-
era rations.

~~~
compton_effect
I have wasted more time than I care to admit watching that guy eat all the
different MRE's. I think the Canadian MRE's definitely looked like they tasted
the best.

~~~
sillyquiet
iirc, he most approves of some of the Australian rations, particularly the
CR1M rations.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z8_Xf5tZ5k](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z8_Xf5tZ5k)

------
stef25
Not related to the pizza version but to all MRE's - what if you have a broad
food allergy, like lactose or gluten intolerance / allergy? Seems almost
impossible to not have those present in these types of food.

~~~
jordan801
Then you don't eat the main item, and you go hungry. That's about how it goes.
I got vegetarian omelet all the time, it's notoriously gross and runny. You
typically don't get to swap if you're less than an E-5. So you just eat the
other stuff in the meal or go hungry.

Honestly Basic training with a food allergy, sounds like hell. You're pretty
much starving for a month, and you don't get the luxury of choice while
eating.

I was a smaller guy when I went through in 2009, and I was required to eat
every last thing. I can now eat 3 full meals in less than 2 minutes. But I
feel bad for someone who's got an gluten intolerance, because a DS isn't going
to take that as an excuse.

~~~
ryanmarsh
I’m going to guess that food allergies is something MEPS would catch. As a
former grunt I can’t see how having a major food allergy would work. There’s
too much to worry about to also make sure your supply lines also have just the
right amount of xyz food intolerant meals. Food prep for patrols was “throw a
box of MRE’s in the truck and let’s go”.

------
ryanmarsh
_You’ve tried the rest, now try the longest-lasting: M.R.E. pizza, developed
at an Army laboratory in Natick, Mass., is designed to remain fresh in storage
for up to three years._

Fresh? Yah, a lot of words can be used to describe MRE’s but “fresh” is not
one of them. Even mundane, seemingly easy to store foods, end up tasting
terrible and have horrible texture. Most of HN couldn’t finish a slice of MRE
bread with MRE peanut butter or cheese spread (oh yes we do) on it.

When I got back from Iraq I tried Jiffy for the first time in over a year and
couldn’t believe how amazing it tasted. I think the words I used to describe
MRE peanut butter included “tire rubber”.

~~~
module0000
If you got the sugar packet, dump it in the peanut butter packet. Made it go
down easier for me, YMMV.

------
andrew_
It's Not Delivery, It's... Directorate.

(get it? Army’s Combat Feeding Directorate, hawwww)

------
hugs
If you're really curious and want to try it, you can buy online the same exact
pizza portion that's available in the full MRE.
[https://www.cabelas.com/product/BRIDGFORD-PEPPERONI-AND-
CHEE...](https://www.cabelas.com/product/BRIDGFORD-PEPPERONI-AND-CHEESE-
PIZZA/2785435.uts?slotId=0)

------
nf05papsjfVbc
I do know that posts solely for humour are not really well accepted here but I
have to admit that the title really begs to bring up a reference to "Dwarf
Bread" from Discworld.

[http://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/Dwarf_Bread](http://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/Dwarf_Bread)

------
sschueller
Best thing about the Swiss military is the caffeinated chocolate and cookies
[1].

[1]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_chocolate_(Switzerlan...](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_chocolate_\(Switzerland\))

~~~
xellisx
"Caffeinated Chocolate"... But doesn't chocolate already contain caffeine?

~~~
detaro
Yes, but this is has additional caffeine added.

------
ninkendo
Is there a place you can buy MRE's as a civilian? Are they available at any
typical military surplus store? I've always had a thing for utilitarian food,
I was big into Soylent for a while, and will gladly eat PB&J for lunch every
day for months. I'll often ponder that if I could get my energy from a USB
charger overnight, I'd prefer to just never eat.

I've always wondered if all the complaints MRE's get are actually because they
taste _bad_ , or if most the hate is in the principle of such a food (or the
monotony and lack of choice, etc.)

~~~
herpes
Some Amazon sellers carry them. There's also brands like Mountain House that
are specifically geared towards campers and don't have the little kick-knacks
with them, just the entrees.

------
qubax
There are videos on youtube and elsewhere of people eating the military field
rations of their country. Pretty interesting stuff. Some even had packs that
would "cook" the food.

------
gadders
My Dad used to work for the army as a civilian lorry driver, and frequently
brought home the UK 24 hour ration packs (although this is 30 years ago now).

A lot of the stuff in the packs was not too bad. The interesting thing though
is the "recipes" that the soldiers come up with by combining items from
different packs.

------
minikites
>“You have to remember, these were designed to be eaten when you are wet, cold
and hungry,” said a spokesman for the Combat Feeding Directorate, David
Accetta. “They taste better then.”

Hunger is the best spice, as they say.

