
To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead - ALee
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/19/your-money/resistance-is-futile-to-change-habits-try-replacement-instead.html
======
namuol
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and if you are suffering emotionally/mentally
please seek professional help.

\----

My anecdote:

I used to frequently suffer from (undiagnosed) anxiety and depression.

For about a year, I would respond to sudden anxiety by seeking comfort in
various forms of isolation/depressed behavior (watch TV as a distraction, try
to take a "nap", etc.). The most insidious thing about this was how it seemed
to happen so quickly that it was practically subconscious. Days would
disappear.

It took me about a year to recognize this pattern, but eventually I learned to
catch myself whenever I was seeking this form of comfort, and instead chose to
do one session of push-ups, instead (when possible).

This worked really well for me for two reasons:

1\. It caused me to stop myself short of falling into any kind of depressive
spiral -- physical exertion is a great distraction!

2\. Needless to say, I did a LOT of push ups, which are a great form of full-
body exercise. The benefits are well known.

These days, I don't need the push-ups as a distraction; most of the "bad
habits" I used to have don't appear nearly as much (although I still need to
exercise regularly to avoid depression).

~~~
thisisit
> It took me about a year to recognize this pattern, but eventually I learned
> to catch myself whenever I was seeking this form of comfort

Most of the advice from self-help books can be condensed into this line -
Recognizing a pattern and catching yourself. Only after this in place can a
behavior/habit be replaced. Or improved. Or removed.

If there is no self-awareness, changing behavior/habit is infinitely more
difficult.

~~~
AnatMl2
I would maybe partially agree.

I personally mostly recognise the pattern, the problem is to find the strength
to fight it, to want to change it at least. It's even more difficult if you
are depressive.

For more than a year I struggled with a depression and sometimes couldn't get
out of bed, even though I worked and studied, cycled at least 3 times per week
and was mostly active. I would fall asleep everywhere and anywhere I could and
wouldn't miss an opportunity to lie in bed and watch Netflix. At some point I
thought I was just exhausted and it was normal to take a (5 hours) nap. But I
was tired all the time, wanted to sleep at the lectures and pushed my limits
at work. I realised what was the problem, I just got used to this routine
where I worked, attended classes and slept, but somehow I didn't want to
change anything, I thought I was too tired to do it, or I could do more harm
by doing it. I needed a lot of time to realize that I was wasting my time and
was not productive neither at work nor at college. So around two months ago I
decided to change things. I used the winter break to travel a bit and looked
for a new job. But most importantly, I tried to find a kind of a workout where
I could relax by exercising; so I started to do some yoga, which helped me get
back my concentration and relax.

My point is, that only recognising the pattern might not be enough. If there
is not a desire to change it, it will not go away, so it kind of brings us
back to the resistance part mentioned in the article. I think wanting to
change the pattern is the resistance and "changing things and replacing the
habits" is just another way of this same resistance.

~~~
fjsolwmv
That sounds like anemia or some other form of malnutrition or fatigue syndrome

~~~
AnatMl2
I didn't think it was normal too, but my lab test results were saying I was
perfectly healthy.

------
SwellJoe
When training animals, particularly dogs, it's (I think) pretty well-known
that redirecting to positive behaviors is much more effective than punishing
unwanted behaviors (so much so that one could say "punishment does not work at
all compared to redirecting to desired behaviors" without much exaggeration).
i.e. when a dog chews on a sofa cushion, put a dog chew in their mouth or
direct them to go get their toy or chew or whatever. When they jump up on
people, put them in a sit-stay, then you can praise them for doing a good
thing. This is just a human, self-directed, version of that, I think.

I'm not saying people are like dogs, but...people are kinda like dogs.

~~~
Ours90
I do agree with your statement, but it's the idealistic approach and sometimes
not effective at all.

A big problem with the dogs (as observed in humans, too) is that if they don't
see a leader in you, they are going to take this position over. I've had 4
dogs in my lifetime and I've tried different approaches with all of them,
because they all had different characters, but one thing I did with all of
them: I was strict and I punished them at times. They are like babies, I don't
think you can raise a child without punishing him from time to time; if you
don't do so, there can be much more complications which maybe harmful for both
parties.

~~~
SwellJoe
I strongly disagree, and stand by my assertion. I've owned dogs all my life
(and I've been both very bad and very good at training dogs, depending on
which point in my life we're talking about).

I'm absolutely confident that redirection and positive reinforcement is better
than punishment...again, so much better that you can accurately say
"punishment does not work" without much exaggeration.

Being the leader and punishment are not at all the same thing. Punishment can
actually have unintended consequences. If your dog is behaving badly to
illicit attention, punishment is still attention. So, the punishment kinda
becomes a reward, but it's mixed up with a bunch of fear and confusion in the
dog. Now they have anxiety about you, and uncertainty about what the right
behaviors are to get the response they desire (attention, affection, food,
play, walk, whatever). I've seen so many neurotic dogs who've been made that
way by punishment from their owners.

That said, there are ways to not reinforce behaviors (which also work for
little humans). When a dog is acting out to illicit a response, the right
action is not punishment, but nothing: Withdraw attention. Silently turn away
from them, leave the room, stand up if you're sitting with them and they're
trying to climb into your lap. This is the same principle as a time out for a
child. It isn't "punishment" in the sense most people mean, but it is an
effective deterrent to unwanted behavior.

But again, redirection to a behavior that can be rewarded is best. You can't
do that until you've trained the dog with a few behaviors that they can be
redirected to. Once a dog knows "look at me", "sit", "stay", "down", and
"heel", you can solve just about any behavior problem quickly, and your
relationship with the dog can always be one that is gentle and free of anxiety
for the dog. Dogs desperately want to be good dogs; it's instinctual from tens
of thousands of years living with humans. The only problem is they don't
understand what "good" means to humans until you teach them, and most behavior
problems are communication problems, not lack of punishment.

The notion of "alpha" among canines is so misunderstood by most people that it
is kind of pointless to use it as a guiding principle in dog training. Your
dogs are part of your pack, not your slaves; they'll do what is good for the
pack willingly and happily, as long as they understand what that means.

Perhaps we're just using different terminology here, but when people say
"punishment", I assume they mean loudly yelling "no!" at the least and at the
worst a rolled up newspaper, or rubbing their nose in poop, a shock or choke
collar, or throwing them out of the house, or whatever. I sometimes catch
myself becoming frustrated and yelling...but, I have also observed that it
does not achieve my goal with the dog, and I can see their confusion and
discomfort. In those instances, I should think about how to better communicate
with the dog, not double down and become more "strict".

I accidentally adopted a dog recently (long story, but he was an RV park dog
whose primary caregiver went to the hospital for over a week during a
snowstorm), and he had tons of bad habits from being basically feral. Never
walked on a leash, wasn't house trained, etc. It took literally a few days
before the neighbors who knew him before I adopted him started expressing
shock about how well he was behaving. If you'd told me 20 years ago that a dog
could learn to walk well on a leash, come on command, sit/stay on command, be
house-trained, and all around be a pretty good dog, in about a week, I would
have been incredulous. He may be smarter than average, but really, I've helped
tons of friends fix their dog's neurosis. (I am beginning to sound like I'm
pitching a dog training program on late-night TV, so I'll stop, but I'm
serious. Nearly every dog owner I've ever known is doing it so wrong, and I
wish I could fix all of their broken ideas because dogs deserve a good
relationship with their people.)

~~~
Ours90
I hear you and I agree with most of what you've written. That's why I said
above that I agree with you but I still find the approach very idealistic and
sometimes very difficult to accomplish.

> The notion of "alpha" among canines is so misunderstood by most people that
> it is kind of pointless to use it as a guiding principle in dog training.

I come from the place where stray dogs are a very common phenomenon, they
almost always move in packs and the behavior of alpha dog can be at times very
brutal towards the pack members, if they don't follow the lead. I once even
had two dogs at the same time, both males and they would fight for leadership
badly unless one of them established himself as a leader. So I wouldn't say
that most peoples'approach is necessarily pointless.

> Perhaps we're just using different terminology here, but when people say
> "punishment", I assume they mean loudly yelling "no!" at the least and at
> the worst a rolled up newspaper, or rubbing their nose in poop, a shock or
> choke collar, or throwing them out of the house, or whatever.

all the examples of the punishments you've mentioned are very violent and
brutal and are mostly observed by unexperienced caregivers or by people who
are violent by nature. I frequently caught myself yelling, too, and it might
be normal at some point, because you are a human and sometimes things happen
and you say or do something in a way you didn't mean to. Important here is to
realize it was too much and not to do this again. So you learn.

> I sometimes catch myself becoming frustrated and yelling...but, I have also
> observed that it does not achieve my goal with the dog, and I can see their
> confusion and discomfort.

The confusion comes into play when the dog is used to a distinct pattern of
your behavior and you suddenly change it. If your dog has never seen you
strict and you've been always gentle with him, of course he will be baffled,
that's very natural.

Strictness is not bad by definition. If you can balance, and it is very
important to do this, it is alright to be strict from time to time IMO.
Raising a dog is the same for me as raising the kids, they are part of the
family deeply loved and cared for. As I mentioned before, I'm not a violent
person but I am strict because I have my limits.

> Nearly every dog owner I've ever known is doing it so wrong, and I wish I
> could fix all of their broken ideas because dogs deserve a good relationship
> with their people.

I hear you. i want to live in a better world, too and I hate seeing people
mishandling animals. There are millions of people who are brutal to their own
children and who are very sure in the rightness of their raising methods.
That's very sad and unfair, but will stay the way it is unless the awareness
will be raised. Only this way will all creatures have a chance to be treated
fairly. So I thank you for your kind attitude very much.

------
btrettel
The linked article seems to suggest that you can replace bad habits with
arbitrary other habits. Maybe that's true, but I think it's best to change
your situation so that the right choice is the easiest to make.

I've discussed this in the context of transportation cycling at HN in the
past:

[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16515129](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16515129)

> As a transportation cyclist, some people I know think I must have superhuman
> willpower. But the reality is that I don't own a car, don't like the bus,
> and live too far away for walking regularly to be practical. I structured my
> life so that cycling is the most convenient option.

[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16450267](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16450267)

> No excuses are valid. Don't feel like it? Doesn't matter. I don't want to
> ride most mornings. Cold weather or rain? Too bad, no choice still. Sick?
> Take a day off for your health.

> I am no more successful at maintaining other exercise in my life. I used to
> run more regularly, but I haven't had the time for a while. So I understand
> how difficult maintaining an exercise habit is. That's why I leave nothing
> to chance.

~~~
fro0116
> I think it's best to change your situation so that the right choice is the
> easiest to make.

Lowering the activation energy required to do cardio by getting my own
treadmill in the living room really helped me get into the habit of doing
cardio more regularly.

Now instead of paying every month for a gym membership I rarely used, I end up
doing a good 3-4 hours of light cardio every week, opportunistically, because
it's so easy to get started, and I can play music and watch shows while
exercising without worrying about disturbing others, making it a much more
enjoyable experience overall.

~~~
btrettel
Glad to hear getting a treadmill worked for you. "Activation energy" is a
great phrase to use here. I'll adopt it in my own conversations.

~~~
piyh
Glad to hear a treadmill worked for anyone, I've only seen them used in homes
as clothes drying racks.

------
baxtr
I’ve been able to reduce my time on news websites dramatically by developing
the habit of opening the kindle app instead. Now I (mostly) continue to read
my books instead of reading nonsense.

~~~
saintPirelli
I do the same thing (with physical copies, I don't have a kindle). It's
amazing how much more knowledge you can gather by just doing that one thing.
Plus the delayed gratification when you look at a pile of books and think to
yourself: "Wow, I read all that?"

~~~
StapleHorse
For the gratification with raaded ebooks I use www.goodreads.com

I even put there audiobooks there, which really go well with treadmill
exercising. I love listening to books at 135BPM (walking fast with 5%
gradient)

~~~
Nannooskeeska
I'm with you on Goodreads. I absolutely love the yearly challenges and how
easy they make it to track.

------
sharkweek
Thought suppression is a one-way ticket to training your brain that the
thoughts you are trying to avoid are the only things you should be thinking
about.

Over a long enough timeline, it wires your brain, the giant "what if" machine,
that it should be worried about whatever it is that's popping into your head
and making you feel so resistant.

~~~
eclat
Which can lead to obsessive-compulsive disorder.

------
blunte
Here is a much more powerful proof that changing environment can help you
change yourself.

[https://jamesclear.com/heroin-habits](https://jamesclear.com/heroin-habits)

~~~
dwaltrip
Synopsis:

95% of U.S. soldiers addicted to heroin during the Vietnam War broke their
addiction _nearly overnight_ , when they returned home to the states. Only 5%
relapsed back into addiction. Apparently, relapse rates for heroin clinics are
normally around 90%.

When the soldiers changed environments to a place that contained none of the
stimuli-triggers for heroin usage that they had overseas, they found it far
easier to quit. In typical cases, people return home from a clinic to a place
that contains all of the old, familiar triggers for usage, and thus have a
very difficult time quitting.

These individuals return to their prior routines, like a hand fitting back
into a glove. The soldiers, however, left their gloves overseas, and instead
returned to the addiction-free routines they had before the war, or they
developed new ones.

The environment directly plays a huge role in driving behavior.

By consciously changing our environment, we can reduce or eliminate factors
linked to undesired behaviors, replacing with new environmental features that
we can more easily associate with desired behaviors.

~~~
oh_sigh
I wonder if tourists who get addicted carry the habit back at a different
rate? Part of the reason to explain the GIs drug usage was, well, they were in
a nasty war and probably knew some people who were KIA and wanted an escape.

~~~
dwaltrip
Yeah, that makes sense.I think this affect was taken to the extreme with the
environment of the Vietnam war vs. civilian life in America.

I imagine it would apply to tourists, just not nearly as strongly. It would be
interesting to see numbers.

------
gboudrias
Psych major here, every behaviorist (and psych major) knows this. Ironic that
they feel the need to quote Carl Jung for a totally banal effect of learning:
Doing nothing is harder than doing something else.

~~~
rhizome
_Doing nothing is harder than doing something else._

Interesting concept, do you have any links or cites for more info?

~~~
bornonline1
Have you tried doing nothing?

------
evanmarshall
I think attacking one problem at a time is the best way to go about (at least
for me). I noticed that many people try to make drastic changes all at once
and then fail at all of them. I'd recommend trying one thing and just doing
that one thing above all else. IE, don't try to exercise and diet at the same
time. Pick one and when you've firmly established the habit, start the next
change.

~~~
scarface74
I agree completely. I spent years as a fitness instructor and worked out
regularly. Life happened, I stopped teaching and working out consistently for
five years and everything went south, weight, blood pressure, strength,
cardio, cholesterol, etc.

I tried to "turn things around" and failed.

First step first 6 months - I cut back on fried foods, salty foods, burgers,
and sweets and kept a sane calorie budget. Along with medication that brought
my high blood pressure down from a walking heart attack level to elevated but
still didn't do much for my cholesterol or weight (5 pound weight loss).

Second Step 3 months and counting - It was a simple matter of increasing my
exercise regimen from non existent to a relative intense resistance based
regimen that's now up to around 2 hours four times a week. I've lost about 10
pounds but I've probably platued.

The third step is going to be the hardest for me, cut back on meat and start
eating more vegetables and fruit and cut out non diet sodas (yeah I know about
the studies with diet sodas.) Goal is about another 10 pounds of weight loss.

~~~
jackgolding
I drank probably 1L of diet soda a day while loosing 90 lbs over 6 months,
necessary evil I say!

~~~
ClassyJacket
I can ditto this completely. I don't know what's up with those studies but
calories in calories out worked for me while drinking tons of diet soft drink.
Some of the time I was doing low carb.

It should be noted however that even sugar free carbonated drinks are bad for
your teeth.

~~~
jackgolding
Yeah thats what is keeping me off them now (plus I've been caffeine free for a
month!)

------
psergeant
I’ve found committing a large chunk of money, in front of friends, to causes I
detest it I don’t hit my goals, to be like a magic wand for this stuff.

UKIP haven’t yet received £1,500 from me, and each week I’ve been tremendously
productive and done everything I set out to with that as a threat

~~~
loblollyboy
That’s cool and all, but doesn’t really work if you’re trying to, say, stop
being anxious on public transit.

~~~
mirimir
It's arguably impossible to "stop being anxious". I mean, the harder one
tries, the more anxiety. But it is possible to redirect, even in public.
Perhaps adopt a centered stance. Or do something else that's unobtrusive and
nonthreatening. Maybe even smile.

~~~
goldenkey
It is possible via behavioral therapy. Most social anxiety stems from a lack
of previous success in social situations. Once you realize that people don't
bite, you stop giving a shit. The public is mostly oblivious and distracted.
If you think you are getting attention its far more likely that no one cares.

Source: introvert who isn't scared of the mopey public anymore

~~~
besasam
There's a difference between being an introvert and having (clinical) social
anxiety. It's an irrational fear and no amount of "realizing" will help with
that. Cognitive behavioral therapy however will teach you to recognize thought
patterns and channel them elsewhere, but that's something entirely different
from "stopping giving a shit".

Source: extrovert with lots of anxiety who loves the public but still gets
irrationally scared of it at times

~~~
eclat
Exposure therapy alongside CBT has been proven to eliminate social anxiety,
which is what he is saying.

------
Mikho
That's really just basic habit loop -- trigger-action-reward -- that one needs
to break by replacing action part with something different more useful. Pretty
quickly one gets used to a new habit loop structure and the same old trigger
now ignites some healthy action to receive the same old reward.

E.g. teeth-brushing habit: trigger - wake up, action - brush teeth, reward -
freshness mint (or other) taste in your mouth. That's basically why a taste
was added at all to a toothpaste -- to create a habit loop. Before that teeth-
brushing powder/paste was tasteless and resulted in bad sales.

The same habit loop structure is used a lot to change bad habits or to
integrate new habits in sports, military, etc. There is a very good book about
it by Charles Duhigg:

"The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business"

[https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-
Business/dp/081...](https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-
Business/dp/081298160X)

------
danielrk
I bit my nails unconsciously for 15 years. Constantly bleeding and got to the
point where my thumbnails were gone and I thought they wouldn’t ever grow
back.

I got braces for my teeth, the biting immediately stopped, and my nails grew
back to perfect condition in a few months. In dealing with the discomfort of
braces, I developed a habit of pushing my tongue against my teeth which
completely replaced my nail biting habit. (To be clear, the braces per se
didn’t deter me from biting.)

I do this all the time now unconsciously. Fortunately it’s imperceptible and
doesn’t do any harm.

~~~
Farstrider
I bit my nails for about 18 years, was not until I saw someone with horrible
nails that I decided I needed to stop.

I replaced it with taking care of my nails and now I file them more than most
people to keep them in great shape and to avoid biting.

~~~
StavrosK
I'm the same way, if they get past a certain length, I start biting because
they compulsively annoy me.

~~~
piyh
I put a little swiss army knife on my keys and having the scissors on me at
all times fixed that for me.

------
jtraffic
Thoughts and habits are related, but they aren't the same. Interesting
counterpoint to the replacement theory of kicking bad habits:
[https://www.nirandfar.com/2015/04/bad-
habits.html](https://www.nirandfar.com/2015/04/bad-habits.html)

------
pyxelr
I can profoundly relate to it myself as by moving alone for studies to a
university in a completely different country, a lot of things changed in my
life. It is not only that you replace many of the troublesome habits, but also
you are making yourself busy familiarising with a new environment. It is like
with every other change, which causes us to go out from the comfort zone,
however, in the end, we are satisfied with the changes we agreed to.

------
newscracker
That was a lot shorter than I expected for a self-help piece. There are so
many such pieces, books, videos, groups and online courses on forming new
habits and motivation, but there’s still a huge market to be developing
content in this space.

We humans seem to be fundamentally built for laziness and habits, which could
many a times be to our own detriment.

~~~
bornonline1
I would swap 'laziness' to rest. We think we need to do a lot of things purely
because we tell ourselves that, or we put ourselves in expensive environments.

------
chrisweekly
About 6 years ago I read this terrific book, "The Power of Habit: Why We Do
What We Do in Life and Business" [1]... Highly recommended!

[1]
[https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0055PGUYU/](https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0055PGUYU/)

~~~
segmondy
I just finished reading this last week. I highly recommend as well. Key take
away, understand the habit loop, (cue, response, reward). To change your habit
you need to know what the cue is, and watch out for it. When it happens, you
need to replace the habit with a difference response that gives the reward.
Part of figuring out your cue is looking at People around you, Emotional
State, Location, Time, Immediately Preceding Action.

~~~
dmos62
If anyone finds this train of thought interesting, look at literature around
Neuro-linguistic programming [0]. As pointed out in the Wikipedia article,
this body of work is heavily criticized, and I'll address that, because I
think that NLP shouldn't be discarded. The methodicality of the approach
outlined in the above comment is somewhat of a central theme in most of NLP,
that's what reminded me of NLP. For the purpose of this discussion, I'd sum up
NLP as a deep, broad and interesting exploration of the key-take-away from the
above comment, that is the trigger-response-reward loop.

It's true that there's a lot to criticize in NLP. What stuck out to me
especially was the monetization by R. Bandler and his manner of conversing
that is somewhere between being excessively boastful and compulsively lying.
However, the Wikipedia article says that the body of work that is NLP was
discredited scientifically, which I find preposterous.

I can easily see some practice advocated by a notable NLP practicioner being
discredited, but not the whole, because it is too far-reaching. The area
covered by NLP makes it pretty much an umbrella keyword for many, many areas
of activity of a handful of people. The most controversial of which is
probably their revival, reinterpretation and I'd dare say furthering of our
understanding of hypnosis, but that's just one thing, and one that I don't
find to be their most important contribution.

The basic NLP keywords relevant to this discussion are triggers, mental
mapping, anchoring, Meta Model, and then a small host of more advanced
concepts that use these building blocks. Their work on the vaguelly named
"meta model" alone should be deemed an important contribution, while being
minor compared to their work on behavioral therapy.

I can't recommend individual books, since I've sprinted through a bunch of
them some years back, their quality somewhat varied, and I had to read some of
them to find out that they are repackaged older material, but there are
definitely gems out there. The principal authors in the field are John Grinder
and Richard Bandler. I would stay away from post-2000 books by Bandler, if I
recall correctly. I seem to have found them over-monetizing and a bit
distasteful. Bandler also has a lot of video content out there, which again is
often distasteful in my opinion.

To sum up on a positive note, I find the literature and work around NLP to be
a diamond in the rough, emphasis on diamond.

[0] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-
linguistic_programming](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-
linguistic_programming)

------
k__
Somehow these "try not to think of" memes don't work on me.

I'm a slow reader and the "white bear" is still "words" in my mind when I'm
finished, I have no image in my head till I try to get one actively.

------
fyfy18
Has anyone got any tips for how to stop biting nails? This technique sounds
like it would work for some habits, but I do this subconciously without
realising - usually when I’m deep in though on something else (not when I’m
streased).

~~~
ClassyJacket
If anyone could help me stop scratching my face, scalp, and arms until I bleed
I would be forever grateful. The effect on my life is profound.

~~~
pps
I think that NLP sucks overall, it's mostly a marketing tool and sometimes
worse, but there are things supported by science and some techniques for quick
interventions are integrated into psychotherapy ("NLPt psychotherapy" if you
want to check it). The most down to earth book which you can use to help
yourself in this case is "Change Your Mind and Keep The Change" by Steve
Andreas. Good luck!

------
eclat
Replacement can also become a compulsion however. If you get a negative
thought you want to stop having, replacing it with another will only make that
negative thought more important to your mind, as it will be considered
something to be avoided. I recommend doing CBT instead of following the advice
of NYT articles.

------
jamaicahest
Reminds we of [https://www.npr.org/2012/02/27/147296743/how-you-can-
harness...](https://www.npr.org/2012/02/27/147296743/how-you-can-harness-the-
power-of-habit)

------
hiccuphippo
The old switcheroo. When I have one song stuck in my head and I want it out, I
just start listening to another song.

------
gymshoes
I read quickly and didn't think of a white bear.

Probably because my focus was to quickly read the article.

------
akashaggarwal7
Very nice article. So, how do I stop procrastinating?

------
tmuir
There was an author named Allen Carr, an Englishman, I believe, who wrote a
book called The EasyWay to Quit Smoking.

I can attest to the relative ease his method provides, over quitting cold
turkey. Essentially, he uses tools of psychology to reinforce his points, such
as spaced repetition, but he also dissects the psychology at play inside the
smoker's mind.

He frames nicotene addiction as a state of brainwashing, and enumerates all
sorts of behavior as examples.

When smokers begin, usually as teenagers, there is a lot wrapped up in, or at
least was 20 years ago, the coolness of it. This is precisely why you see
actors and actresses smoking cigarettes with exotic technique of holding the
cigarette, or generally looking intriguing, it is an extremely effective
heuristic. Everyone who smokes their first cigarette obviously has immediate
negative physical effects. They cough, it burns the throat, they get nauseous,
or just a plain nicotene buzz, etc. Yet since they know that cigarettes are so
cool, or otherwise lent social proof, all of this is rationalized and
minimized, in the goal of validation of your peers.

A lot of the other information contrasts nonsmokers behavior to also shatter
these illusions. Smokers lie to themselves that the cigarettes are what is
keeping them together. But nonsmokers don't seem in the aggregate less
confident, or less healthy, or less mentally stable, or any of these lies we
tell ourselves. That means that controlling for the cigarettes reveals them to
be the causal factor.

One of the low level rationalizations daily smokers make on an hourly basis or
so, is that they are ready for that next cigarette. It is time. To the extent
that they can't close that loop, this is where the _true_ stress from nicotene
addiction happens. They've essentially built up experience of a heuristic for
long enough, of the feeling coming, the smoking, and the feeling going away.
In the smokers mind, actually smoking the cigarette is what curbs the craving,
thus, the smoking is necessary.

There are a myriad other rationalizations made, all in the name of not having
to go through what we assume will be a hellacious withdrawal, because we wont
be able to stop thinking about it. But thats only because we trust this faulty
heuristic that says stress -> smoke -> no stress.

The book simply goes through all of these rationalized fallacies, as the
author smoked for 33 years, and used them all himself. The process of reading
all of this information in short succession, in addition to some of the coping
mechanisms that are essentially more tricks of the mind, or ways to frame the
thoughts that inevitably arise when a smoker quits, I believe has sort of a
triggering effect, not unlike juicy gossip and the 24 hour news cycle.
However, the reader is triggered to parry each nagging thought with the
context in which it is a fallacy. If this can be successfully done, the normal
feelings of dreading the withdrawal can be replaced with almost a sadism for
the part of your mind that is receding in its influence, abstracting the sum
of this brainwashing to a monster in your mind. He is the one who wants the
nicotene, he is the one freaking out, not me. I'm breathing deeply, and
smelling food again.

I think I understand a lot of the general underpinnings, but I have yet to
find the EasyWay to do anything else. I still contend at least part of the
answer lies in this psychological realm, if not almost all of it.

~~~
darkerside
> I think I understand a lot of the general underpinnings, but I have yet to
> find the EasyWay to do anything else

It's funny that the Easy Way to quit smoking actually discourages any kind of
replacement for smoking. I tried to do it "right" and follow that direction,
but eventually I started chewing gum. It felt like a failure at first, but it
worked so no regrets.

My realization there was, life is a series of habits, or addictions. Some
positive and some negative. Accept that, and treat them all as something
outside the self. Suddenly, working out, studying, flossing, all of these
simple things that seemed difficult before were now easy.

I'm sure I'm not explaining well. It's probably not something that can be
explained. Just know that quitting smoking grants you a superpower, the power
of not giving a fuck. And that's the greatest power there is.

~~~
UncleEntity
> It's funny that the Easy Way to quit smoking actually discourages any kind
> of replacement for smoking.

Which seems odd to me.

I quit smoking after after (something like) 25 years by replacing it with
vaping. Probably isn't all that healthy but also probably isn't going to kill
me either and, meh, I like my nicotine. I've had exactly 2 cigarettes since I
switched and that was in the first month or so, have no desire to smoke a
cigarette even when I'm in the middle of a pack of smokers puffing away.

The main issue I've had is I turned it into a hobby so was buying a bunch of
vape gear from China to try out different stuff so it was costing me a lot
more than I was spending on cigarettes but I reigned that in so now I spend
something like $25 every 3 weeks on e-juice. Could get that down but I really
like my clouds -- actually get smokers asking me about that because they tried
out vaping but weren't satisfied then see me chucking a big cloud and are like
"that's what I want".

So, yeah, replacement totally worked in my case...still addicted but they'll
have to pry my caffeine and nicotine from my cold, dead hands because I
actually like them.

~~~
tmuir
When you say that you like nicotene, can you at least agree with the general
idea that you like the ability to end the general stress that comes from not
being able to smoke when its on your mind?

Here's another thought experiment from the book: The author says that when he
meets people for the purposes of doing seminars and speaking events, He asks
smokers if they would pay $1000 up front, for a lifetime supply of cigarettes.
He said that he has never once gotten anyone to take him up on the offer, and
he did this for over 25 years before he died.

But if you offered a smoker that deal for things like food, or gasoline, or
anything else they see themselves using forever, and $1000 is significantly
less than the a la carte price for the lifetime supply, of course they would
take the deal, assuming they could be sure it was legitimate, and assuming the
$1000 could be secured.

The author uses this thought experiment to show that all addicted smokers wish
they could quit, even if they can't admit it to themselves. Hes saying that
the very fact you are unwilling to pay ahead of time is proof that you're
making a calculation in your head that you envision your self quitting before
you spend another $1000 on tobacco, or whatever the vice.

------
billysielu
Please replace this link to the New York Times with something without a
Paywall.

~~~
m-watson
Just open it in private/incognito browser, free and less tracking!

