
Ask HN: What gives you self-confidence? - omosubi
How did you gain self confidence if you lacked it when young or lost it along the way?
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PeekPoke
I was very unconfident growing up. I had big ears and was the shortest kid in
class until my later teen years. I used humour as a defence mechanism (class
clown) but this doesn't work in adult life. When I got into the world of work
I threw myself into learning and becoming the best at everything I did and
soon became a subject matter expert in computer viruses - this was back in the
early 1990's when AntiVirus software was born. Being the expert meant that
when I was in a room with potential customers I had something they wanted -
experience of this new threat and knowledge of how to deal with it. Put
yourself in the position where you have something really valuable to offer and
then learn to accept people asking you for help. This will _really_ boost your
morale and confidence. Re-invent yourself this way whenever you feel your
knowledge or skills becoming commonplace and your will never look back.

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smcquade92
My self confidence arises from sufficient preparation. I maintain a checklist
of daily essential activites that align with my long-term goals. I accomplish
these early in the morning before leaving for work. They take two to three
hours to complete. After completing these I feel accomplished and confident.
Even if the rest of the day is unproductive due to meetings at work, at least
I have the inner satisfaction of knowing that I still made progress in the
things that matter the most to me.

~~~
thenaturalist
Interesting, would you mind sharing what some of these activities entail?

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smcquade92
At first, I identified my writing as the skill I needed to improve the most. I
started off writing prompts of a few hundred words. My skills progressed until
I researched and wrote articles of a thousand words each morning. I did this
for approximately eight months.

Once satisfied with my writing, I transitioned to learning a foreign language.
Every morning, I read new concepts in a textbook, listened to audio recordings
online, and practiced activities on language apps (Duolingo, Memrise, and
Rosetta Stone). Over a period of fourteen months, my proficiency with the
language improved substantially.

These days, I dedicate my mornings to programming projects. I've been working
on my current project for about three months. I dedicate each morning to
improving one component of the project. I would say that around half of the
time is spent researching concepts, a quarter of the time is spent
implementing the learned concepts, and the final quarter developing my own
code.

I allocate approximately two hours to learning new concepts each morning. In
the evening I review old concepts for an hour. I understand that this is
difficult for those who work long hours or who have families, however, I have
found this strategy to be effective in maintaining my self-confidence.

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jhabdas
Confidence arises when one manifests their self-perception in such a way as to
attract those around them. Various fears and especially the mind may incumber
this phenomenon. However, it may be controlled when moved, ideally of one's
own free will, to an environment in which we feel free to express our true
thoughts and desires.

