

Ask HN: What would you do to improve this landing page? - tempest12
http://muroapp.com/?utm_source=hackernews&utm_medium=askhn&utm_campaign=askhnlanding

======
namenotrequired
I would summarise the first paragraph of text to something that sells the key
advantage it has over thousands of other social things: find people at the
same location as opposed to your friends. Better yet, figure out _why_ this is
important / beneficial / awesome and write this instead (hopefully you already
know why it is). One possible way to do this is by leading with a few common
use cases in which it's particularly helpful. If you can find a single benefit
that covers the majority of the use cases, that's even better.

Ideally, you'll then also find an even better header to replace "Connect and
share with everyone at your event!". This headline and its paragraph answer
_what_ I can use your app for - which can be enough - but we still need to
translate it ourselves to a reason _why_ I want to use it. Make this
translation for us.

If this is hard, try first writing a version that doesn't use any of these
words: "social" "share" "connect" and "platform". Also try directly copying
the value proposition from your business plan (do you have one?), then tweak
it a bit grammatically to make sense in its new context. These two exercises
should help you see different possibilities of what to do with it.

(I also recommend making it easier to read - perhaps it's because it's night
and I dimmed my screen's brightness a lot, but the background of the black
text is too dark for me to read easily.)

Does that help?

~~~
pedalpete
I agree with namenotrequired, but what I would do is talk to your visitors as
you would talk to a normal person. When you first described Muro to your
friends, did you say "we're building a social event photography platform"? I
suspect not, you probably said "We're going to let you groups of people easily
share photos based on xyz", or something like that.

Try to stay away from the word "event". It's nice that it's generic, but it
also doesn't really give people an idea of how they'd use it. Saying something
like "all conference goers photos in one place", "all concert goes", "all
...". You could even do something nice where the only thing change changes is
the type of event, and it just scrolls through.

I also don't like your "find out more button", it covers your register button
and doesn't look very good. People should be able to figure out that their is
more on your page a better way.

~~~
namenotrequired
More good points, thanks for adding to mine.:)

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vincentbarr
1\. Remove the navbar background color, make the <a>s (Login, Register)
contrast with the background options (login and register), and keep the logo.

2\. Remove the second, larger logo. It's redundant.

3\. Move 'download on the App Store' lower on the page. The value proposition
should come first; people don't know what they're about to download yet.

4\. More descriptive value proposition - connect how? Share what with
everyone?

5\. Larger font and higher contrast for body text.

6\. More concise body text, less jargon. Check grammar and spelling ('share
with others at who are at')

7\. Change 'Register' button copy to something more descriptive. People might
think they're registering with Facebook (sad, I know). Try 'Sign-up using
Facebook' or 'Join via Facebook' etc.

8\. Give the registration buttons, or your main call-to-action, some depth. I
get flat design, but here an affordance would help.

9\. Remove the Learn More button and its bouncing. You want people to sign-up.
If people want more information, they'll see that they can scroll.

10\. Mention that the app is free in the value proposition above-the-fold.

11\. Use the Learn More section to describe the benefits and address your
audience's interests; don't use it to tell them where they can download the
app - unless it's at the end; you already told them this.

12\. Less text for each section of 'Learn More'

13\. Remove 'Recent Images' \- some of them make me wonder what kind of app
this is.

Last, A/B test the page.

------
draker
Review copy prior to publication.

"Muro is a social event photography platform that allows you to connect and
share with others _at who are at_ the same event as you."

You should modify the last subheading to begin with a verb as you do for the
first three; otherwise you disrupt the flow of the step-by-step process. ie:
"View everyone's photos together."

Have the screenshot on the phone itself transition and the phone background
persist.

*edit for clarity

------
Pitarou
Visually too noisy.

The bouncy "learn more" button gets in the way, and gives a cluttered feel to
the front page. I can see you want me to click on it, but I think it's too
much. (Real user testing may prove me wrong on this point). Maybe have the
arrow next to "Learn more" pulse gently instead.

The text on the first screen uses hard-to-read colours, needs proofreading
("with others at who are at"), and badly needs rewriting. Too many words. Too
many "platforms" (they're a kind of shoe, aren't they?). Takes far too long to
communicate the benefits. Here's my rough rewrite:

====

Share it live!

See photos of what's going on around you. Hook up with the people taking them.

====

You also need some much, much more exciting content for the phone screen mock-
up. What am I missing out on by not having Muro?

Stuff below the fold is pretty good but, again, rewrite. To be honest, you
suck at copy. Either read a book about writing copy for the web, or find
someone who can write it for you.

~~~
rheotron
Thanks for the feedback,I'm one of the other founders on this, totally agree
with you. Funny you mention it, we're actually in the process of getting a
copy writer on board to help with a lot of this stuff. That point about the
phone screen is interesting, it seems difficult to convey what the user is
missing out on in a single screenshot. Do you have any suggestions for this?

~~~
Pitarou
If you only show pictures of bars and nightclubs, you'll have to sell it in
terms of sexual opportunities:

\- A guy and two sexy girls. The guy and one of the girls are clearly hot for
each other. The other girl looks like she needs some company of her own. The
message: "JOIN US!!!"

\- A handsome cocktail waiter doing something clever with a lemon. Vaguely
suggestive message: "This guy has ALL the moves. ;)"

But why restrict yourself to clubbing? I think the best use case for your
software is at sprawling, outdoor events like Burning Man or Glastonbury.
Think of all the cool stuff you miss just because you weren't in the right
place when it happened.

\- The Fairy Glitter Wrestling match. (Like mud wrestling, but the wrestlers
are dressed as fairies, and they use oil and glitter rather than mud.)

\- Fire eating jugglers.

\- A bunch of friendly-looking stoners in a yurt, with the message, "Anyone
fancy joining us for a relaxing 'cup of cocoa'?"

------
adamzerner
1) It seems sorta crowded. I think a lot of websites are crowded, and people
undervalue space.

2) I'm still not really sure what exactly it does. Just shows you all the
pictures that people who are at the same event as you have taken? Is it
convenient to sign up? Is it interesting to see these pictures? Can you meet
the people who took them?

3) I don't think the "Learn more" button is necessary. People know that they
could learn more by scrolling down. A rule of thumb for design that I believe
in is that if it's not really necessary, don't include it
([http://37signals.com/svn/archives2/it_just_doesnt_matter.php](http://37signals.com/svn/archives2/it_just_doesnt_matter.php)).
Because the cost of added complexity doesn't outweigh the value its presence
has.

4) The "Download in the App Store" button seems like it could be placed in a
more logical place.

------
joshwayne
1) The Register call-to-action isn't clear what the result will be. Does it
create an event? Will it let me download the app? How is this different than
creating an account in the app? Can I not create an account in the app?

2) The floating "Learn More..." is unnecessary. People know how to scroll.

3) The alternating layout communicates that they're separate features rather
than steps in a process. I would explore different ways to communicate the
steps.

4) Make it very clear the problem your app is solving. Like petalpete
mentioned in his suggestion, "event" is vague and generic. Try to use terms
that clear and specific like concert, holiday party, etc.

5) Maybe consider curating the recent images. Some of them are fairly low
quality.

------
mooted1
The other posts have covered the copy/design issues pretty thoroughly, but
they largely ignore something I've found devastates conversion: you have not
one, not two, but FOUR calls to action above the fold.

Users are more likely to take an action, if there is one clear route they
should take. I'm very confused about where to start: should I register or
download the app? If I'm correct that this is a mobile app, then you're
probably best off having them download your app, then having them register
through there. A facebook registration without an app download is useless.
Someone who downloads the app, on the other hand, is much more likely to
become an engaged user.

also for crying out loud WHY IS THERE AN ANIMATED BUTTON christ

------
gk1
Instead of speculating about what may or may not perform better, are you
actually collecting analytics data? Are you tracking clicks on the AppStore
link, the Register link, and all other calls to action?

Once you have accurate tracking set up you can A/B test many of the
suggestions here (using something like Optimizely or Visual Website Optimizer)
to see what works best. Otherwise you'll just be changing from one guess to
another.

I do this sort of thing (conversion optimization). Get in touch and I'll be
happy to give more pointers.

~~~
rheotron
I'm one of the other founders on this. We're tracking using mainly google
analytics. Would love to take you up on this offer, mainly just to get your
ideas on what tools are the best to use for this kind of thing (I've
investigated a lot, mixpanel, kissmetrics, etc. and none seem to really do the
job). What's the best way to get in touch?

~~~
gk1
Shoot me an email at greg.ny [at] gmail.com with a few times that work for you
for a chat. GA is perfectly fine, it just requires some minor configuration to
collect and report actionable metrics that matter most to you.

------
basil
I would drop the blurred image background. It adds too much visual noise and
makes it hard to scan the page to see what the app is about.

The black text is too small and not contrasty enough so I don't even feel like
reading it.

The primary focus is the Facebook button but is that what you want? Don't you
want people to download the app above all else? I think the primary focus be
given to the App Store button which means it should be given more weight and
prominence on the page.

------
jreed91
I'm sure others will give you details about information you could provide but
I'll give you some feedback design wise. First of all the Facebook button just
looks odd, it could be my browser but the "F" looks really weird and doesn't
look like a normal Facebook button. Also the bouncing learn more is
distracting. I like the midsection quite a lot and the details are great. I
guess the header section could still use some work.

------
scoj
I agree with a lot of the other thoughts. Specifically, the first paragraph
needs to be shorter and clearer. (There is also a typo in it "...with others
at who are at the same event...")

Also, I would suggest changing the main button from "Register" to "Get
Started" or something else.

------
coderzach
More contrast between the text and the background in your hero box.

