
The Question Mark - lux
http://campfireunion.tumblr.com/post/104352187462/the-question-mark
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lux
Been a while since I've posted anything on here, but this one was really
personal to write and I wanted to share it with the HN community where I
largely lurk but still count myself among.

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markveronda
Great spot of writing, love it! Finally put to words something I've been
trying to phrase myself: "we are not job functions, we are human beings". Plus
that whole 'it's OK to not know exactly what you want to do because you're
leaving your options open' bit is great as well.

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ditojim
I agree. I always say 'work to live, don't live to work', which is my way of
saying the same thing.

I liked this as well: 'I had been dreaming all my life, but I felt like I was
finally free to dream'. This is where I am at in life right now, and it is
beautiful.

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nemo1618
Very reminiscent of Alan Watts' "The Wisdom of Insecurity." And also something
Terence McKenna said: "My technique is don't believe anything. If you believe
in something, you are automatically precluded from believing its opposite."

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epaga
That quote is self-contradictory since it itself is a belief that "believing
as little as possible is better than believing something". It itself
automatically precludes anyone who holds to it from believing many things.

We can't escape belief. There will always be things in our lives that we will
accept based on trust of some kind.

But (to get back to the post), as the author said, it can still be absolutely
fine to not necessarily have an answer all the time. To realize this can be
very freeing.

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thirdtruck
It's a technique to be employed as far as is practical, not a unit test that
_must_ pass or fail. :)

That said, I've thought a lot about applying TDD/BDD methodologies to life. My
nightly before-bed checklist is basically a suite of unit tests, for that
matter.

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Raphmedia
Thanks.

This story resonates with me a lot. I am in my early 20's, a web programmer. I
date a girl that studies in philosophy, I ask myself a lot of questions. I'm
losing my freedom as I "grow up". Or am I? Who am I? Sometimes, I feel like I
am only a piece in a computer. Surely I don't hate computers. Do I? I work so
much, but do I work hard enough to get better at it? Am I... what am I?

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jtheory
You absolutely trade away freedoms when you get married (or build a serious
relationship), have a kid, buy a house, get a dog, etc.. Signing up for rental
payments or car payments of a certain amount involve reduce freedom.

That's fine (and you can build a lot of really good things); just watch for
trading away freedoms but getting nothing valuable in return -- it's a common
mistake (and I made it myself!) to get out of school, get your first job, and
immediately get a car, living situation, etc. that costs what you earn. Or,
oops, a bit more than you earn. I paid for my wedding and honeymoon that were
nice, but left me in debt for _years_ ; it was dumb. I got a car that wasn't
fancy, but it was more than I should have spent. Etc..

There's an awful lot of stuff that you simply don't need, and will never need;
don't trade away your freedoms for those. Whenever you have a significant jump
in earning, never ever spend anything immediately. Wait 6 months at least; see
how your life is going, and if you can just keep saving the extra, or if you'd
like to make a few upgrades in your life.

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thirdtruck
Very true. It's easy to miss how "living in your means" is actually still
_below_ your means.

Case in point: I've had an "affordable" mortgage for the last several years,
but haven't even visited the house for the last year and a half. Advancing my
tech career required moving away from that small town, but the monthly
obligation continues to hamper that. It looks like escaping the office worker
life will require selling it.

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mathgeek
Wonderful piece, thanks for sharing it.

One thing did bother me, though. You quite succinctly speak about no longer
wanting to classify yourself by a title...

"That’s why to me, I’m no longer just a programmer, or an artist, or whatever"

... but then right there at the end ...

"JOHN LUXFORD Chief Technology Officer"

I suppose it's more difficult to grow beyond titles than you might realize! :)

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lux
Haha I know! They wanted me to follow the format of our other posts... :P

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jamesrom
Good for you, you're putting yourself out there. And this work isn't for
nothing. But man, look at how many times you used the word 'I'.

If you want people to take away something from your story, make your story
_about what needs to be taken away_. Not about you.

Keep writing.

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Animats
Agreed. This is really an ad for the author's company.

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jtheory
Really?

I had little idea of what the company was before reading this, and I still
have little idea, afterwards. Still, interesting read, and it's really
cementing in my mind a bit more where I want to take my own work & life.

Side q for lux - maybe it's early days to say, but I'm curious to see how well
you manage to shape your company into what you want it to be; e.g., keep re-
asking these questions (am I making a positive difference in the world?) and
see how the answers are trending. Good luck!

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lux
Thanks! We're still a 3-person company, so it's a bit early to tell, but it's
something we talk about a lot amongst ourselves, as well as with other
business owners we know, and something I'm always reading about online.

We've all worked at places that had particularly toxic company cultures, so we
spent a lot of time just working to make sure we weren't bringing unhealthy
habits into this new business. I can definitely say my level of stress and
tension are much different 6 months in than when we started, despite things
being way more hectic and challenging now vs then.

