Ask HN: What aspects of life are you deferring until you're successful and rich? - hoodoof
======
davewiner
Don't do it. Start now, because what you'll find out if you're successful and
rich is that what's standing in the way of a happy life have nothing to do
with success or money.

People use the chase for success in various forms as a way of avoiding self-
knowledge. In some ways the worst thing that will ever happen to you is if you
make the big bucks. Then you won't have an excuse for not knowing yourself. So
what do the super-motivated people do then? They pick another milestone to
shoot for before they'll start living.

Start now. Don't wait for anything to happen. You are alive in every way
that's meaningful, now.

~~~
hoodoof
Was there anything Dave that you were holding off till you became successful -
by whatever your definition of that is.

~~~
davewiner
Yes, everything.

I put so much value in achieving all the goals my family set for me. I figured
everyone would love me when I was a success. So I checked off everything on
the list, and I mean everything. Nothing changed. Of course. I know that now,
but I wish someone had told me before.

Live for yourself, do what you want to do. When other people tell you what to
do, not only don't they know, but it won't please them when you do.

------
thenomad
Being bored.

And I'm perfectly happy deferring that as long as possible.

Currently my projects have a number of potential descriptors attached, but
"boring" isn't one of them.

(If you haven't read it, the last chapter of Tim Ferriss' book "Four Hour Work
Week" is a fascinating read. It details what it feels like to get to the point
where you've achieved your goals, and no longer need to work. I don't want to
go all Buzzfeed on you, but it's really not what you'd expect from a naive
consideration of the situation.)

------
TEMPsmalllab
Will create a small lab to go after my dream ideas, money is a big factor in
freedom. While working for big companies you are stuck often times,
unfortunately cost of living is so high in SV to bootstrap unless you have YC
like people helping you. Rent + health for a family can alone be 4k min which
means 70k only for rent and health insurance! Health first for sure then
money, often times you loose your health while trying making money. I would
love to hear other people what they are thinking!

------
autotune
Pretty much have everything I can do right now I can do while rich beyond
saving for money for eventual retirement. There's enough to learn that's
practically free and cheap at this point. A laptop is maybe a grand. Living
independently is pretty obtainable in a good enough, growing, city with low
COL , and finding inexpensive hobbies are easy... actually maybe moving into a
fancy 1 bedroom condo in Berkeley lol.

~~~
ClayShentrup
I'm in Berkeley after being priced out of SF. I'm kind of losing my mind, but
there are signs that it's getting more density.

~~~
autotune
How are you losing your mind? Is the area just not what you expected?

------
gearoidoc
This used to be such a long list for me. Exploring the world, meeting new
people, getting in shape, taking up various different activities. Glad to say
I've changed.

I've spent the past 7 years doing the startup grind dreaming of that huge
exit. It hasn't come. Instead I've got a revised sense of priorities and of
how long I've got left on this planet. Better than any amount of money.

------
ClayShentrup
Running for public office, mainly to (literally) save the world with voting
reform.

[http://ScoreVoting.net/LivesSaved.html](http://ScoreVoting.net/LivesSaved.html)

Instead, I'm VP of Engineering at a tech startup, trying to crawl out of my
wife's student loan debt, raise my son, and hope that I'll be able to pursue
my real passion by the time I'm 40.

------
hoodoof
Strangely, for me it was getting fit. What a very odd thing to put off till
some unlikely future. I'm now consciously trying to convert silly "when I'm
rich I'll........" fantasies into the question "so what's preventing me doing
that thing right now?"

~~~
mindcrime
> Strangely, for me it was getting fit. What a very odd thing to put off till
> some unlikely future.

Yeah, tell me about this one. I'm a guy who had a heart-attack, right in the
middle of a period of time when we seemed to be getting some momentum going
with the startup. I knew I was being silly putting off working out and being
active and eating healthy, but I figured "things will level off soon and I'll
get back to that stuff". Ummm.. no. Didn't work out that way. And when you're
on the back of an ambulance being rushed to the emergency room, it's a bit
late to start worrying about getting fit.

Luckily for me, I survived, and I've gotten back into bike riding big time
again, and now I take time out to go ride an hour or so a few days a week,
work be damned. :-)

So there's at least one lesson I learned and benefited from, but what a
horrible way to do it. If anything I say on HN can help influence anybody
else, let it be this.... DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. Take your health seriously, and
do it starting NOW, regardless of how old you are. Remember, the artery damage
that leads to heart-disease (and ultimately, heart attacks) begins very
young... in some cases as early as your teen years (maybe earlier in some
extreme cases). And definitely by your twenties, if you aren't eating right,
watching your lipid profile, staying active, etc., you are setting yourself up
for problems later.

~~~
hoodoof
If I may be so bold, a heart attack is a big deal, may I ask how old you are -
40's, 50's? Do you smoke?

~~~
mindcrime
I just turned 42 last week, had the heart attack last Nov. when I was 41 and
some change. Never smoked in my life. But I didn't always eat the way I
should, and while I've been a competitive athlete on an "on again, off again"
basis throughout my adult life (wrestling, jiu-jitsu, powerlifting, mountain
biking, etc.), I had been too much of the "off again" for the past few years,
and had let my weight creep up a bit. Even then though, it took me by
surprise, I wasn't exactly one of those 350lb super-obese people you look at
and think "how is that guy not dead yet", ya know? But between that and the
stress I was under, it almost did me in.

And just to elaborate on all this a bit... I'd always heard the old saw
"stress kills", but interestingly enough, after the heart attack, something
_everybody_ (cardiologist, GP, nurses, cardiac rehab people, etc.) emphasized
to me VERY strongly, was the impact of stress. I'm sure I heard "you need to
lower your stress levels" more than I heard "you need to lose weight" or "you
need to lower your cholesterol". And I was _really_ grinding those last few
months right before it happened. I was working pretty much 7 days a week, and
I'd routinely put in 8 hours during the day, then go up to B&N or Starbucks
and work another 5 or 6 hours, during which time I'd drink a triple-shot
latte, drink a Red Bull, and then eat a box or two of chocolate covered
espresso beans. And I'd do this shit 4 or 5 times a week. In hindsight, it was
all pretty stupid, but, like almost everybody who _hasn 't_ had a brush with
death, I thought I was superhuman and could push myself that hard and get away
with it.

So, again, moral of this story: DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. I AM A BAD EXAMPLE.

Take some time off, unwind, do something outdoors (hiking, biking, running,
swimming, whatever), eat a healthful diet, and talk to your doctor
occasionally. I know there's a lot of backlash against "over testing" and all,
but at the very least, it's probably a good idea to go have an annual
physical. Stop smoking if you do. Heart attacks are largely avoidable, but it
means doing things right.

------
collyw
Giving up working.

------
phantom_oracle
Helping others that need it most.

When you're normal, it is called charity, when you're rich, it is called
"philanthropy" and you can even name your charity/foundation after yourself.

------
mindcrime
Too many of them. Enough that I'd probably rather not talk about it. It's
stupid, I _know_ it's stupid, but I do it anyway. I can't explain it.

------
santaclause33
Doing nothing! Trying to become skilled enough that I only have to work a few
hours a week in the future.

------
brianwawok
Upgrading my 4k bike to a 10k bike?

~~~
gburt
Same. And the whole set of other marginal improvement expenses that I could be
making, but choose not to because they don't have the right cost-benefit
ratio.

------
J_Darnley
Everything but I will take employed as a substitute for rich.

------
sneak
Learning to sail, learning to soar, learning to dive.

------
zhte415
Buying an island.

------
michaelmcmillan
Hack on whatever I like.

------
BerislavLopac
Getting old.

------
nicholas73
Mistresses.

------
1arity
being a playa.

~~~
fpalmans
I am pretty sure that you don't need money for that. And, allegedly, if you do
it right, it can be very lucrative.

~~~
1arity
I will try that starting now.

