
Give Me a Secret Garden - sethbannon
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/03/opinion/future-secret-gardens.html
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jadell
This was basically the plot of the Black Mirror episode "Arkangel" [0]

We need to give kids more space to discover their own limits, and to get hurt.
I look at the kids in "Stranger Things" riding their unsupervised across town,
playing in a junk yard, and I remember doing that stuff (child of the
80s/early 90s here.) Staying out until the streetlights came on. Yes, we got
injured. Yes, I ended up in parts of town I probably shouldn't have been in.
Occasionally, I got my ass kicked. This was all part of growing up for most of
human history.

I never see the kids in my neighborhood doing that. I've never seen any of
them leave the street, and always with the parents on the patio, chatting with
each other. The last time I saw a roving band of 9-to-13 year-olds biking
around town was probably the early 2000s.

I kind of understand what changed media- and culture-wise, but has the real
world actually changed that much in 25 years to merit the sort of constant-
supervision-every-moment-planned-and-accounted-for world kids now grow up in?

[0]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arkangel_(Black_Mirror)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arkangel_\(Black_Mirror\))

~~~
fatnoah
>I never see the kids in my neighborhood doing that. I've never seen any of
them leave the street, and always with the parents on the patio, chatting with
each other. The last time I saw a roving band of 9-to-13 year-olds biking
around town was probably the early 2000s.

My life was similar. Be home by dark and stay in the neighborhood. Aside from
that, it was explorations in the woods, roaming around, and generally just
making fun where I found it.

I now have an 11 year old, and we recently put up a basketball hoop. A side
effect is that we've started to attract some neighborhood kids. When it's a
first time visitor, I do like to query to make sure it's ok that they're out
and about, and I've received a refreshing number of "Yeah, I just have to be
home by 6" responses. Occasionally, my son will join a small group and "go on
an adventure" and I remind him to stay in the neighborhood, and be home by
dinner.

Yes, it's a bit nerve-wracking at first, and I'm sure there's a non-zero risk
of something happening, but watching my son thrive and the pride he has at
having some independence is immeasurable. As parents, I think we forget that
our task is not merely to get our kids safely to a certain age, but it's also
to enable them to operate in the real world as independent, fully functional
humans.

~~~
mywacaday
I read a quote recently,"We're not here to stop our kids getting hurt, just to
stop them getting maimed or killed". While a bit exaggerated it rings true for
me. I don't see how children can build a worthwhile sense of responsible
independence without learning where the boundaries are and how to judge risk
for themselves.

There is probably a whole book on the subject but I think society has lost
some of the ability to look out for others, when I was young if you were hurt
or too far from home you could always rely on a neighbour to help and would
have no issue in knocking on their door, even the old single guys.

The other side of the argument now is the fear of interacting with somebody
elses child as and adult, last year I came across a small girl(5/6) who had
fallen and grazed her leg and there was nobody else around, I was really
deliberate about not touching her in case parent or guardian came around the
corner. I felt horrible about it but thats the way things are I guess.

~~~
moultano
>I read a quote recently,"We're not here to stop our kids getting hurt, just
to stop them getting maimed or killed".

I agree with this wholeheartedly, but unfortunately the most likely thing to
kill them are the cars that are everywhere they might go. My kids are too
young for this to be applicable right now, but someday I hope to give them
this kind of independence, but I don't know how to do it with the sheer volume
of traffic and terrible drivers. I even don't feel safe biking myself.

I'm perfectly happy letting them take risks where they might break bones, but
I just don't know how to deal with a world where they're reasonably likely to
get killed if they're on the street with a bike.

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tzs
The general idea reminds me of the Asimov story "It's a Beautiful Day", from
1955 [1]. (The details are all different, so I'm not suggesting anything
nefarious. Just listing another take on one of the same themes).

[1]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_Such_a_Beautiful_Day](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_Such_a_Beautiful_Day)

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Hansenq
This line stood out to me, after the op-ed argues about having "gardens" that
exist in the "invisible parts" of the city that are only visible to people
without iGlasses:

> We are fighting a piece of legislation on the governor’s desk that would
> change the augmented reality settings of the entire city, making the
> invisible parts visible again and destroying our gardens in the process.

The legislation sounds like it would make the invisible parts visible again to
everyone, even when you're wearing iGlasses. Isn't that what she wants? No,
what Mary wants is a space where people wearing iGlasses can't discover her.
Making the "invisible parts" visible again would remove the only gardens that
she has. She's not fighting for more transparency and freedom, she's fighting
for a private space where she can't be observed.

A nice touch that I almost just skimmed past.

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TehCorwiz
This resonates with me. Secret gardens are everywhere if you look. For me, in
Cleveland, in the 90s it was the `Temple of Lost Love` beneath the Eagle St.
Bridge in the Flats. It attracted art of all types, delinquents, prep
students, you name it. A place to go for privacy or camaraderie. The saddest
day was in the early 00's when it was painted over, fenced off, and patrolled.

EDIT: P.S. Hannu Rajaniemi is an amazing author. `Quantum Thief` is one of my
favorite books.

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HeraldEmbar
Seeing things for what they really are...isn’t that our greatest desire and
our greatest fear? I love the voice in this fiction, and the astonishing fact
that it is provided to the world in a newspaper. Speculative fiction is where
truth can be approached safely. Keep it going.

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gatherhunterer
If you would like to read without trackers, the Times no longer allows private
browsing:

[https://web.archive.org/web/20190603190109/https://www.nytim...](https://web.archive.org/web/20190603190109/https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/03/opinion/future-
secret-gardens.html)

