

Ask HN: What/How should you talk when you meet co founders? - noobplusplus

Probably this is a pretty naive question, but it is genuine.<p>I am myself an aspiring startupper(23, to start in a month or two). I have worked at startups and learnt the tech stuff well working hard. But I am an introvert and <i></i>suck<i></i> at negotiating with people and building contacts. Resultingly, I barely know people and vice versa.<p>I have scheduled an appointment with three budding and almost successful entrepreneurs nearby. What should the meeting be about? What should I talk to them? I wanted to ask them about their own story, (and see how I can build upon those) but not in a dumb way?<p>Can people lend out some general advice? Its a big meeting, I have worked hard to get it scheduled.<p>Please help, thanks!
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jfdimark
Hi - I would advise that you be genuine, show enthusiasm when listening to
their story and be enthusiastic when telling yours. Look for ways you can add
value or help them. Don't be afraid to ask them for specific help - though be
mindful this is your first meeting, so anything you ask should be relative to
the small amount of trust and respect you can build in one meeting. Make sure
you follow up, relationships aren't built in a single meeting. Finally, try to
relax and don't put too much pressure on it. A meeting like this should not be
a binary one, where you could 'win' or 'lose' something, it is an exploration
to see if you have common interests and may like working together in the
future, either as co-founders or simply friends and acquaintances. If it's not
to be, don't worry or compromise yourself to try and be liked, as this won't
help you in the long-term and the business relationship won't last anyway.
Better to find out quickly and move onto the next meeting, where you might
genuinely click with that person and have a great business relationship. Hope
that helps at all!

~~~
noobplusplus
Yep, it is helping!

When you talk about maintaining relationships further from the first meeting,
how would you generally advice?

I mean people are genuinely busy, so to keep in touch sending random mails is
not the key, nor will anyone meet you every time you ask for it.

So how do you look at taking things further after the first meeting?

~~~
jfdimark
When your listening to them, take on board what interests them or where they
are facing challenges, then: \- Send them links to articles they may find
useful/interesting \- Just drop them a friendly/polite note in a week or two's
time, giving them a super quick update on what you've been up to and seeing
how they're getting along (try to reference something specific they previously
mentioned e.g. how did that important meeting with investor A go? \- If you're
starting to move in the same circles, you may bump into them at events, or you
can specifically tell them you're going to one if you think it would be of
interest \- Hopefully they'll also be in the social media circle too, so they
will see content you produce on LinkedIn, Twitter, FB, HN, Quora, your blog
etc. \- Finally, ask them if they want another meeting 4-6 weeks
later...you'll have to gauge this on your first meeting. If you got on like a
house on fire, then you can casually invite them for a drink and not worry too
much about; if it was a little more formal, but you still think the
relationship could be worthwhile for you both, be sure you have some
interesting progress to talk about and have thought about value you can bring
to them in the f/u meeting. Networking and meetings a very much art over
science I find, and you have to use a lot of personal judgement (and you won't
always get it right) but if you can be yourself, add value and like the other
person then these 3 ingredients should be just right for development some
meaningful and lasting relationships. Good luck with your meetings, let me
know how they go!

