
My First Life as a Nurse (2015) - antigizmo
http://avidly.lareviewofbooks.org/2015/03/24/my-first-life-as-a-nurse/
======
bluejellybean
This was a great piece and I would encourage others to read it... but yeah, as
another user said, brutally vivid. It's stories like these that really
cemented my desire to pursue healthcare. I will never forget the first code I
witnessed in the ED. Every single little detail of that moment is just etched
into memory. After I clocked out I just drove for a solid 4 hours trying to
process it.

I've been working in the software industry while going to school and at the
time of the above, my bosses wife had just returned to nursing, opening an
acute care facility. This is after spending nearly 20 years in the same exact
ED that I was now at. I got some excellent advice from her, my favorite bit
was about learning to love the "absolute shitshow" of healthcare and how to
cope with loss. The shitshow aspect is spot on and what this piece really
nails. The crazy stories are abundant and at times it feels like we are still
very deep in the stone ages.

------
DrScump
Such stories in medicine always bring up two sets of memories. One is a nurse
I dated years ago whom I met when we both worked graveyard shift and lived in
the same apartment complex. She later died from epilepsy.

The other memory is of a poem written by a young cop in tribute to a nurse he
was dating. He went to pick her up one night but found her asleep, stressed
out by her shift during which two of her patients died (through no fault of
hers). He covered her, careful to not disturb her rest, and was inspired to
write a poem about it.

That poem became a song composed by a friend, and their band recorded it. That
song was "Wildflower"[0]; the band was called "Skylark" and included a young
David Foster.

To this day, it is one of my favorite songs. Donny Gerrard's vocal is
indescribable, and composer Doug Edward's haunting guitar moves me beyond
words [1].

[0]
[https://www.songfacts.com/facts/skylark/wildflower](https://www.songfacts.com/facts/skylark/wildflower)

[1]
[https://youtube.com/watch?v=YQ8n_Esop5I](https://youtube.com/watch?v=YQ8n_Esop5I)

------
will_pseudonym
One of the lighter stories that I enjoyed:

> CCU, night shift: A house painter who cut himself now has full-blown tetanus
> and is on a ventilator. We have paralyzed his diaphragm with curare to
> override the muscle spasms, and so we must fog his mind with a cocktail of
> drugs. We take excellent care of his body and read to him when we can. If
> the unit gets busy we play audiotapes for him, mostly about American
> history. Weeks later when the tetanus has run its course and we wake him up,
> he is convinced that FDR is president. Otherwise, he is fine.

~~~
b_tterc_p
Should have played advanced mathematics

------
miesman
Reminds me of "Emergency" A STORY BY DENIS JOHNSON

[https://www.narrativemagazine.com/issues/stories-
week-2014-2...](https://www.narrativemagazine.com/issues/stories-
week-2014-2015/story-week/emergency-denis-johnson)

~~~
scruple
This was a great read, thanks. As was the OPs link.

> That world! These days it’s all been erased and they’ve rolled it up like a
> scroll and put it away somewhere. Yes, I can touch it with my fingers. But
> where is it?

This really resonates with me. What a powerful way to end that story.

------
JshWright
I can't imagine doing a burn unit rotation that early in a program... I was
nearly a year into my paramedic program (with a few years as an EMT before
that), the burn unit still sticks out as one of the more 'memorable'
rotations.

------
andrewl
Her description of breaking the old woman's ribs during CPR reminded me of
this medical article in "comic strip" form:

[https://annals.org/aim/fullarticle/2217632/annals-graphic-
me...](https://annals.org/aim/fullarticle/2217632/annals-graphic-medicine-
betty-p)

Click on each panel to get a larger version.

~~~
om3n
Extremely powerful comic strip.

My mom is a nurse at a large research hospital, and the stories I hear give me
extreme respect for nurses and doctors and the decisions/conversations they
have to have. It's incredible what they have to deal with physically and
emotionally on a day-to-day basis.

------
andrewl
This one hit hard. It's less common now, but it still happens:

CCU: It is a Catholic hospital. “Amazing Grace” plays on the intercom every
night at 10. Some nurses kneel when a priest enters the elevator. The head
physician of the Respiratory Care Unit next to us refuses all thoughts of
terminating care for a non-responsive intubated aged woman whose back ulcers
now reveal spinal bone. Her family pleads with him.

------
mud_dauber
I error-checked with my wife (30 yrs as a critical care nurse). Everything
checks out. This is a great read.

------
purplezooey
Great read, but this one:

”The cowboy cardiologists sneak in at night to try new meds or procedures on
their patients."

wtf is that...

~~~
dexen
The progress in medical sciences can be surprisingly messy. Moral issues
abound, and a lot of important work has been done against the scientific
consensus.

Early operations on human heart were gonzo and against the prevailing
wisdom[1]; discovery that stomach ulcers are caused by bacteria was the doctor
purposefully drinking bacterial cocktail, falling ill, and curing himself with
proper antibiotics [2]; the first cardiac catheterization with imaging was
done on the doctor himself via subterfuge because otherwise he would've been
stopped [3]. An Air Force doctor strapped himeslf to a rocked sled and
rigorously subjected himself to up to 42Gs and near-Mach windblast, with the
results greatly improving air safety [4].

And that's just off of the top of my head.

\--

[1] early on it was considered impossible to perform successful heart surgery;
among others because the tools would disrupt heart rhythms with electricity
produced by galvanic reaction

[2] [http://discovermagazine.com/2010/mar/07-dr-drank-broth-
gave-...](http://discovermagazine.com/2010/mar/07-dr-drank-broth-gave-ulcer-
solved-medical-mystery)

[3] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-
experimentation_in_medici...](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-
experimentation_in_medicine#Cardiac_catheterization\\)

[4]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Stapp#Works_on_effects_of...](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Stapp#Works_on_effects_of_deceleration)

------
Nimitz14
Thanks for posting that was good. especially

> visited upon the body of one

------
arethuza
"A crib in the corner is blocked off by a curtain. A sign says Do Not Feed."

I'm slightly scared to ask - but what would the explanation for that be?

~~~
brazzy
[https://www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/for-families-and-
carers/gr...](https://www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/for-families-and-
carers/growing-up/feeding-2/)

"A few babies have medical problems which affect feeding. Babies with gastro-
intestinal tract (GI tract) disorders who need an operation will not be
allowed to feed at first and will get nutrients intravenously."

~~~
janetlyon
I am sorry to say that those babies were being passively euthanized. Starved
to death, to put it more bluntly. It was a very different time; their lives
were considered disposable. The fact that I now have a 27 year-old son with
Down syndrome, who is the light of my life, makes those memories otherworldly
and almost unbelievable. --The author

~~~
dexen
_> those babies were being passively euthanized. Starved to death_

This breaks my heart. Doubly so, given that I have similar cases[1] in recent
memory[2] where the medical staff and even the even parents were forbade and
forcibly prevented from feeding the kids.

Thank you for writing the article, Janet, however painful it must have been
for you. It's better that we know, and can act upon the knowledge.

\--

[1]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfie_Evans_case](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfie_Evans_case)

[2]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Gard_case#Outcome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Gard_case#Outcome)

~~~
brazzy
> Doubly so, given that I have similar cases[1] in recent memory[2] where the
> medical staff and even the even parents were forbade and forcibly prevented
> from feeding the kids.

This is untrue, and the cases are not even remotely comparable to OP's story.
Alfie Evans and Charlie Gard had both suffered heavy brain damage and were
incapable of feeding or even continuously breathing on their own, with no
realistic perspective of improvement.

------
taneq
Well that's certainly gone a long way towards not helping with any existential
dread I might be feeling.

------
otoburb
Punchy and brutally vivid writing. Reminded me of Hemingway.

