
Ask HN: After an interview, how long before you know they're just not into you? - thefastlane
I had a really positive phone interview with a hiring manager recently. This person said they definitely wanted to move forward and bring me in. It was a casual, positive conversation. I sent a thank-you email the same day. However, I&#x27;ve heard nothing since the phone conversation.<p>How long before another follow-up email is warranted?<p>When does it make more sense to assume they&#x27;re just not into you, and move on?
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kafkaesq
The best thing you can do is to make a point of getting an explicit expected
response interval from the most important decision maker you can identify in
the process (which generally means _not_ the HR flaky† who escorts you in/out,
brings you water, and sometimes corners you for a useless wrap-up chat at the
end). Particular bullet points you want to get are:

\- "So what's you're process moving forward?" Specifically, as to whether
there will be additional rounds, or they're done and have all they need from
you to make a decision.

\- "When can I expect to hear about [the next step]?"

\- "And when's the latest I can expect to hear something?"

The last one is crucial, so you'll want to (gently) nail it down as best as
you can. So if they say "within a few days" on a Tuesday, you can say "So by
the end of the week, or at the latest, beginning of next week?". That will
solidify things in their mind, and gently remind them that it will be somewhat
rude if they don't respond to you by then.

It also makes the question of whether to send a follow-up mail much less gut-
wrenching (and in my view, pretty much removes the need for it altogether). By
that I mean _do_ send a thank you note (24-48 hours later, max). But once
you've nailed down the response window with the primary decision maker, it's
really in their court. If you want you can send a proper follow-up mail,
gently reminding them that you were expecting to hear something by about that
time. Strictly speaking, you don't need to -- if a shop doesn't respond (in
any form) on a time frame more or less in line with when they explicitly said
they would (thanks to your making a point to ask while on-site), you can be
pretty sure they aren't, as the saying goes, all that into you.

But then again, you don't need to care, either -- because everyone knows
that's just shabby, and that shops that do that don't really have their act
together. And would probably treat you shabbily in other ways, were you to
start working for them.

† But for good measure, go ahead and ask him/her, also. Because it usually
ends up being their job to write the actual rejection email, should you be
lucky enough to get one.

~~~
thefastlane
thanks, this is really helpful. over the course of my career i've become
highly attuned to what are obvious hiccups in the interview process and i take
them into consideration. but it's times when things are genuinely up in the
air that i have more difficulty in assessing the situation (such is life i
suppose). i see how the idea of establishing any sort of an agreed upon
response interval, however casual or imprecise, can provide some anchoring for
both parties.

in a past job, i realized my boss had not wanted to hire me and had
effectively been overriden by someone further up the org chart -- it cast the
interviews and phone calls i'd had in an entirely new light, and is part of
what has prompted me to soberly evaluate every step of the interview/onboard
process during job hops now.

~~~
kafkaesq
That was what was key for me to understand, also (when I started to research
this a bit, and ask other people about their experiences): both that the
process has gotten weirder, _and_ that one seems to have to go through 3x as
many rounds of it, these days.

Interestingly, I once had someone override me about hiring someone I
recommended a pass on, and that person turned to be quite good. Not that this
should be done lightly. But that experienced caused me to step back a bit, and
look at how I was making snap judgements about people (and yes, perhaps
letting the authority of deciding others' fate go to my head a bit).

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new_hackers
Don't send more than one follow-up email. It usually just irritates people. If
they want you they will contact you.

On that note, you keep looking, even if you had the greatest interview ever.
Until someone starts paying you, you aren't hired.

And if someone does make an offer, tell them you want a day or two to think
about it.

Remember, you are super eager to start, but usually the business is doing
business as usual. So play it cool.

The best possible situation is you get a couple of offers at the same time, so
you have options.

And if you start somewhere, then a week or two later your dream job calls,
then quit and go follow your dream.

Good luck!

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paktek123
I'd say, give it two weeks Max. I personally have never did a follow up email
and just assumed its a no if I don't get a response within a month.

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valarauca1
24-48 hours.

If they aren't following up quickly they are mostly likely passing.

