
Ask HN: Ideas and the ability, but burned out working alone - SoftwareMaven
So I&#x27;ve a few ideas for &quot;lifestyle&quot; businesses that could potentially grow into something more. They are eminently bootstrapable, but I&#x27;m tired of working on things alone. I start making progress, then fizzle.<p>And, while I&#x27;m strong at tech, capable at business, and able to network for business reasons, I suck at making the kinds of connections that could turn into cofounders.<p>I put it in a similar bucket to being able to make friends, something else I&#x27;m not particularly good at. Anybody have any clues for overcoming what goes well beyond normal introversion?
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goldfeld
As I understand, this is not the kind of advice you're looking for, but: have
you seen [https://assembly.com/discover](https://assembly.com/discover)? It
has a very interesting model that I think has legs going forward.

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jqm
Not trying to be negative, but I can't help but point this out.... it seems
there are some really really bad ideas on that site that wouldn't be worth the
effort (probably some good ones as well to be fair).

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DaFranker
Counterbalancing point: It doesn't seem to me as if the ratio of good /
average / bad ideas on the website is significantly different than on other
platforms / offline / "elsewhere".

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brickcap
>I'm tired of working on things alone. I start making progress, then fizzle.

Could your burn out be related to lack of progress on personal/professional
projects? For myself at least on days when I am not moving forward on a
personal/professional level I can get a bit down. So the cure that works for
me is to gain a net +ve movement everyday.

For work projects that could mean writing code for a new feature/fixing that
inconsistent left margin or devouring my blog posts for any typos. Small
victories in professional projects can can give me a boost in my personal life

On a more personal level this means reading another chapter of say "Mike"
which drives the story forward. For a while I weaned off reading and the books
that I was reading on at that time were left unfinished which affected my work
as well as it left me dissatisfied with the current state of my affairs.
Anyway, what I am trying to say here is that making progress on a personal
level is just as important as making progress on a work level. Small victories
in one can give you a much needed boost in another.

also check out this post : [http://thefreelancery.com/monday-
answers-1-hustling-burnout-...](http://thefreelancery.com/monday-
answers-1-hustling-burnout-firing-bad-clients/)

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FiatLuxDave
I find the kind of people/relationships which turn into cofounders to be
fairly rare. It requires mutual trust and respect, as well as passion for a
shared goal. I've only met 6 in the last 22 years, so I'm no expert on how to
meet one, but what has worked for me are two things: exposure (that is,
spending time with people, preferably doing something that might garner
respect and trust) and sharing your passions (talk about your ideas, and see
who thinks they are cool).

If you are introverted, getting exposure might be difficult. Make sure you
spend time around or working with people who might make good cofounders. Doing
similar work to what your ideas are raises the level of technical trust (e.g.
if your ideas involve web programming, work together to show each other that
you can do that well), and if you are a trustworthy person, given enough time
that will show through as well. Some kind of 'forced' social interaction (such
as school, day job, roommate, family) is helpful if you are very introverted.

Sharing passionate ideas usually isn't a problem, at least for me. It's
getting me to shut up about them ;). This annoys many people, but it makes it
very easy to pick out the few people who are interested in them too.

I think that if you are feeling that working alone is non-optimal, you are
probably right. I know I am much more productive as part of a team. The hard
part is that you really do need to be picky about who is on your team if it's
a real project. On the other hand, if you have a few 'what if' ideas you are
willing to throw away if it doesn't work out, you can take a few risks with
possible cofounders to see if there is chemistry there.

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QuantumChaos
I found myself in a very similar situation. My solution was to get a job at a
large company. It didn't help much with the making friends part, but I am
happy now that I don't work alone. I would consider whether a startup is right
for you at this time.

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SoftwareMaven
You have a valid point. The challenge for me is these ideas don't go away;
instead, they sit in the background incessantly calling to me, making me feel
like I'm missing something important. I took a position with a big company
that I hoped would give me stability and flexibility to work on my own
projects, and it does, but I'm failing to do so.

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noodle
What exactly are you looking for? Another technical cofounder? A business
person? Etc.. Finding different types of people require different approaches
because the market isn't even.

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SoftwareMaven
This is the question that almost caused me not to post because I'm not sure
how to answer it. There are people out there who manage to draw people to
them, no matter what the circumstance. I am not one of those people, and it is
affecting my ability to get things done (part of it is being overwhelmed by
needing to make a project interesting enough to capture customer attention;
part of it is a sense of loneliness when things inevitably get challenging).

What I can't seem to do is connect with people at the level that brings about
trust that something can be accomplished. I attend start-up events and am held
back by my own...I don't know...fear of rejection, lack of belief in myself,
leftover trauma from being the fat kid in elementary school? It's hard to
psychoanalyze myself.

I knew it was a ghost of a chance because I don't even know what I'm really
getting at, beyond what does it take for you to feel confident somebody is,
well, competent and his/her idea is worth listening to.

Honestly, I feel like I'm missing something in this interaction because I have
technical skill (15+ years), I have business skill (5+ years), I have
management skill (5+ years), and I have product management skill (3+ years). I
know how to get shit built, but I can't figure out how to get people
interested in building it, much less on board.

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quesera
Most people are not "connectors", and even people who are at fairly good at it
often struggle with _leadership_.

This isn't criticism -- most people aren't builders either.

So I guess the question I'm left with is: do you want advice on how to get
better at attention-drawing and leadership, or are you looking for another
human to supplement your skills?

Either path is valid, it just depends on how you want to expend your energies,
and what sorts of practicalities require consideration.

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SoftwareMaven
I would say the latter. As I mentioned, I can make software products
successful. Perhaps my weakness is making software companies successful.

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jqm
I was in a very similar situation...

So I went and got a job. A few months in and I'm ready to get back to work by
myself. But I think I'll stay put for a bit. It's nice having other people
around during the day and I think I'm actually getting more done
nights/weekends on (now) side projects than I was the last few months on my
own. I'm certainly managing my time better.

I defiantly feel your angst though. I have been there and it was not fun and
was killing my productivity.

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SoftwareMaven
In reality, my day job may be a contributing factor. I work on a small team
spread around the globe. It's an amazing team, but it doesn't fulfill that
team connection. I have contemplated another job, but there are some serious
benefits that I like about this one, not least of which is working at home.

(And, yes, there is a small dichotomy there, but I don't need in-person
contact to have a connected relationship.)

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goldfeld
Well, couldn't you probably justify working out of a coworking place at least
once a week? I reckon it would be even better if someone from your global team
actually lived near you and you could be in the coworking space together, as
two people talking among themselves always draw more attention than one.

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MalcolmDiggs
Would the idea you're working on make a good open source project (without
destroying the business model)? If so, throwing up the code and asking for
contributors might be an easy (arm's length) way to get other people involved
and keep yourself motivated.

