
The Parents Are Not All Right - Wookai
https://gen.medium.com/parents-are-not-ok-66ab2a3e42d9
======
geebee
I actually disagree with this part: "The particular struggle reflects the most
privileged perspective — that of two fully employed adults, sharing the
burden, without fear of losing our jobs."

While this is hardly an unenviable position, and may be better off than most,
I don't think two people who need to work full time represents the most
"privileged" position. In this case, a family with a stable and sufficient
income from a single primary earner, with the other free to handle the sudden
increase in demands of child care, really would be a better position.

"But it’s precisely the privilege of this vantage point that in a way makes it
so stark. This is the best-case scenario?"

No, this isn't the best case scenario. It's hardly the worst, but the
difficulties here are absolutely the result of the two income trap. I don't
know their exact situation, but plenty of middle class people would face
eviction or foreclosure within 6-12 months, maybe less, if either spouse lost
their job and couldn't find another. There isn't much wiggle room left.

~~~
matt_the_bass
I’m Fortunately in this position. My spouse is on full time should care. We’re
not wealthy but I make enough that we can live happily this way and our choice
is that this is worth the reduction in income from my spouse working outside
the house.

Even so, this is REALLY hard. I can’t even comprehend the feelings of those
less fortunate.

------
scrumper
This is well put. But of course it will end, and us privileged few will go
back to our regular routines and our babysitters will return to work and take
care of our kids after school and we'll adjust and the kids will be fine.

The longer it goes on, the more chance there is that this novel pain shared by
us lucky few will motivate some structural changes that will make life more
bearable for the less privileged people for whom these kinds of tensions and
juggling are nothing new.

But... I doubt it. Nothing is working. My wife's 12 person company is
struggling, and will probably fail, to get a PPP loan for utterly moronic
procedural reasons and saturation of the system. Extended unemployment
benefits seem to have been calculated to run out around the time that the
average person will be able to file a claim. Businesses are evaporating
everywhere, completely undermining the bedrock of the economy. There is no
sense of anything from government (any part of it) other than getting back to
business as usual - why? So we can do this again in the fall? In a few years'
time when another displaced wild animal spits on a market trader?

Couldn't two trillion dollars - not even a once per generation level of
expenditure - have been more effectively employed to build some resilience in
the system?

The city is sacked by barbarians; they leave, and the survivors hold a feast
instead of building a wall.

------
lonelappde
It would be easier if families stopped the rat race and stopped sending two
parents to careers. career minded people could pair up with home-minded people
instead of striving for dual incomes. In good times those home minded people
could use their free time to be pillars of the community.

~~~
chadlavi
Good luck paying for a family on a single income. What planet do you live on?

~~~
steverb
It's doable. Wife and I have done it for literally 23 years. With 4 kids.

Granted, after year 3 (and kid 2) I was making entry level developer money,
but here in the south 18 years ago that was a long way from FU money. We made
sacrifices and decided that some things were more important than others. Our
vacations were camp outs, our four kids wore secondhand (and third/fourth
hand) clothes. I bought (and still buy) most of my clothes from Goodwill or
Walmart. We have never had the newest anything. There was a period of about
two years where we were a single car family.

It's doable. You will have to lower your standard of consumption, probably a
lot, but in our case it was totally the better choice. YMMV.

------
ratliffchrisb
Leaving work for childcare is currently a valid reason to go on unemployment.
They should try to work this out with one of their employers. They could each
go down to 50% time and pay and be supplemented by unemployment currently.
There is a lot of flexibility they aren't taking advantage of and then
complaining about how hard it is.

~~~
geebee
Their jobs may be important, though. It's a privilege to have a stable and
meaningful job, but it's also important to do it.

------
rdtwo
Just like the supply chain the family structure has shifted to a a just in
time no margin system with child care outsourced to the most efficient
location. When the childcare system gets taken offline there isn’t enough
capacity to handle work and childcare and rent something is going to get
dropped

------
testtesttest
Article is spot on. After a few weeks we broke quarenteen and flew to stay
with the grandparents. We are lucky the grandparents are youngish and able to
help.

------
pravda
The absolute narcissism of people like this amazes me.

Other people must subside her lifestyle, because?

~~~
MyHypatia
Issues like lack of health insurance, lack of sick and parental leave, and the
school day ending at 3pm when work ends at 5 or 6pm are common problems that
many families deal with on a daily basis. These are a result of policy
choices. It affects single people (single people get sick too), families with
2 working adults (not all jobs have health insurance, who can take early off
of work everyday to pick up the kids, one adult may require care taking at
some point in their life), families with 1 working adult (if the insurance
provider loses their job that can jeapordize health insurance for the entire
family).

I don't see how discussing these issues is "narcissistic". Aligning the school
day with typical work hours seems like a reasonable policy change and ensuring
the people can afford healthcare aren't just whimsical lifestyle choices.

