
How to Turn Down Freelance Work Gracefully - coreymaass
http://www.christopherhawkins.com/2015/09/how-to-turn-down-freelance-work-gracefully/
======
Udo
Being mainly a web programmer, I get a lot of very bogus inquiries (like re-
implementing multi-million dollar websites in a day) and requests from
companies doing projects that look very very painful if not outright doomed. I
tried several ways of letting these people down gently, and only one actually
works in all cases - even though the turn-down email is often a bit of a lie,
sorry to say.

The problem with the whole " _I don 't think this is a good fit_" angle is
project owners will then try to convince you why it _should be_ an excellent
fit, and they're often not wrong. If you advertise yourself as, say, a full-
stack web app developer, it's difficult turning down someone asking you to
help out on a generic web app.

The second thing I tried is reasoning with people by letting them know why _I
personally_ think the project is a bad idea, or is not salvageable.
Unsurprisingly, it's almost impossible to do this without insulting them, or
without inviting responses like "well, then maybe you're just too incompetent
for this".

So the only thing that actually works in my experience is: " _sorry, I 'm
fully booked at the moment, so I can't take this on_". The beauty of this
approach, even though I recognize it's morally questionable, is that it's an
entirely realistic reason. In fact, it's the exact same response I send out
when I am indeed fully booked. You leave that person behind with a neutral
impression, and they still feel good about their project (which is important
because I could be very wrong in my judgement of it).

~~~
chris_hawk
Udo, that's not a bad approach, and I've used it myself. But I always felt bad
for outright lying. At least by saying the project is a bad fit, I can say I'm
being honest.

Now that I've said this, I'm sure I'll end telling someone "uh...I'm all
booked up" before the week is out. :)

That said, IMO the word "No" is a full sentence, and when clients do as you
describe, trying to forcefully argue why it _should_ be a good fit, I simply
hold to my original rejection and don't participate in that discussion.

They may want very badly to initiate a game of tug-o-war, but unless I agree
to pull on the other end of that rope, it's not happening. :)

I agree 100% with you about the pitfalls of giving a personal critique of why
the project is a bad fit/poor idea/not salvageable. That's just bad news.

Also, those bogus inquiries you mention? OMG BANE OF A FREELANCERS EXISTENCE.
Not a single week goes by where I don't have an interaction like this:

Small Biz Owner: "I have an app idea!"

Me: "Of course you do."

Small Biz Owner: "You have to sign an NDA before I'll tell you!"

Me: "Straight-up 'no'."

Small Biz Owner: "OK, then...my idea is 'Twitter, but for law enforcement
officers'! And they have to pay for it! It's GUARANTEED to make millions!"

Me: "OK, we can build & launch it for $10k."

Small Biz Owner: "What?!? That...ten THOUSAND? That's preposterous!"

Me: "It's guaranteed to make millions, right?"

Small Biz Owner" "Yeah, but...can't you do it for equity?"

Me: "Get out of my office."

(note: the above exchange has been hyperbolized for comedic effect)

~~~
mhurron
> But I always felt bad for outright lying.

You are always fully booked, even if your doing very little, because this
project is not enough to make you move your current schedule around to
accommodate it.

~~~
chris_hawk
That's a pretty healthy way to look at it!

Did you have that outlook on day one, or did it take some number of years in
the freelancing game to come around to that outlook?

~~~
mhurron
Actually I don't freelance. This just came to me as I thought about it. So
probably the answer is after some experience without realizing it.

It's not all that different than a new project as an employee, though you may
have less control over your scheduling. If you hand me one project it takes
all my time When you come back with another project and ask me if I'm busy the
answer is yes, I am 100% dedicated to this project. Taking anything else on
takes time away from that so I have to look at what I'm doing and weigh if its
important enough to reduce the amount of work on the other project.

------
mariawatson44
The most important thing in my point of view is that you should always "OWN"
the project and work like as your own. This is what I learned from my career

~~~
coreymaass
I often promoted myself as a "CTO for hire" with that sort of attitude.
Definitely helps.

~~~
chris_hawk
"CTO for hire" sounds like pretty unforgiving work! It's a good thing you keep
strong boundaries, it's wild out there.

~~~
coreymaass
I actually got a lot better response, in that my opinion was valued higher.
Compared to being considered a mere code monkey.

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sandworm101
You think it's bad in tech, try putting 'legal' or 'attorney' into you
profile.

"I need a TOS document for a social media website that is binding in all
jurisdictions. 50$"

or..

"Our app needs a privacy policy that will protect us from lawsuit in China and
Europe. 100$"

I don't turn them down anymore. Rather, I unless I have an ethical duty I
don't respond. It always ends in an ugly argument.

~~~
chris_hawk
You know, my first career aspiration was to be an attorney. Seriously.

And now I learn that I didn't even dodge a bullet by becoming a developer
instead? Heartbreaking. :)

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damoncali
Two things:

1\. When I talk to someone about a new project, I do it in person or on the
phone, not email. This is important.

2\. The first call is always to see if the work would be a good fit, and I'm
clear about that. If the client or the project isn't a good fit, I just say
so. "I'm not the best guy for this work right now, you might want to talk to
so and so".

~~~
chris_hawk
That's pretty reasonable. Although I didn't explicitly SAY so in the article
(and I really should have), the "Listen to them" step is intended to be via
phone or in-person.

Regarding #2, is it always clear to you on the spot if a project isn't a good
fit? That's kind of awareness is rare, IME, and kudos to you for having it!

A lot of the freelancers that I've mentored need a bit of time & space to
ponder and re-play the tape in their head, so to speak, before they can come
to that conclusion.

~~~
damoncali
I hadn't really thought about it, but yes, I generally know right away. I
sometimes need a little time to assess the project's scope or technical
detail, but personality wise, I know almost instantly if the client is going
to be a problem.

Clues:

Does the client respect your time? Texting me at 11:00 PM to talk about your
project isn't going to work. Bad. Do not let the client intrude like this. It
will drive you mad.

Does the client want to defer payment because they're talking to a big
customer who needs to sign on? That's utterly unrealistic. Bad. Clients who
are about to sign big customers are well past the dev hiring stage. This
speaks to poor business management skills.

Does the client have leave a wake of unreliable developers in his path? If so,
tread carefully. One is ok- there are a lot of flakey devs out there. Two is
not. I once had a guy ask me if I could asses his previous dev's work as
support for a small claims case. Um. no.

Does the client want to offer equity instead of cash? This is almost always
bad. People who know what they're doing generally have some cash to get
started, and generally prefer to use it. You _might_ find a good client doing
this, but it's very rare in my experience.

Does the client want to talk about entrepreneurship or does he have something
to build? I get a lot of talkers. See the part above about respecting my time.

Has the client actually thought about what it is he wants?

Does the client have wildly misplaced sense of the technical scope of his
project? Just say no.

Does the client come off as lacking in confidence? This isn't horrible, but
they tend to be short lived, one off projects.

Can the client communicate clearly? This can be a real problem if they can't.

Does the client want you for crunch time because he planned poorly? <\- Reread
the last 4 words of this sentence.

Does the client want you to work with some cheap overseas code because they
blew half their budget on what they thought would be a good deal and don't
realize they have to start over now?

The theme is people in over their heads. Sometimes it's just not going to
work, and if you pay attention, you can tell pretty easily.

~~~
chris_hawk
Right! Those are all perfect examples of the mental process that goes on when
evaluating a client. I often manage to go through that process myself on the
spot, but there are many other times when I don't or can't.

And more importantly, new freelancers rarely have the ability to make those
evaluations on the fly.

I sense that this is not your first rodeo! :)

~~~
damoncali
I've been at this a while ;)

But I think even new freelancers need to just trust their gut. If it sounds
flakey, it generally is.

~~~
chris_hawk
Speaking as someone who mentors a number of new freelancers, often the LAST
thing you want them to do is trust their gut! :)

~~~
damoncali
I might take for granted that I have an MBA, and worked quite a bit in other
fields before I started freelancing. Might be entirely different for a younger
person just starting out.

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wanderfowl
Very nicely written, and a good template, too. If you use it too much, it
could fall flat, but even a personalized sentence of "I really think that
[disrupting the fish-taco industry by serving Gungans instead] is a great
approach!", if you can be sincere, is another way to help the whole thing be
remembered fondly by all involved.

~~~
chris_hawk
Oh, man. I _dream_ of the day a client comes to me with a project as
interesting as a Gungan-targeting fish-taco stand website!

Also, thanks for the compliment! That e-mail template took forever to iterate
into what you see today. :)

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nerdy
I just respond to people and kindly tell them why I'm unable to accept the
work. Most people can appreciate everyone having limited time and resources.
Doesn't an e-mail template (even with modest customization) seem impersonal?
Maybe I'm getting old.

~~~
chris_hawk
nerdy, you're right that it's not the most personal approach. However, that's
kind-of the point; rejecting work can sometimes result in the rejected party
initiating a more heated exchange than is good for either party.

By maintaining the arms-length that an e-mail provides, it helps the
freelancer (especially one who is new, uncertain of herself, or who hasn't
learned to hold boundaries yet) to avoid getting sucked in to anything.

Plus, it provides a paper trail for later when the client comes begging back
and the freelancer wonders "now, why did I turn this project down? Oooooh,
right, they wanted to gnarfle the garthock, and that feels unethical."

So, while you're right in that it _could_ be handled more personally, my
experience tells me that it's often better for all involved if it's just a
weensy bit _less_ personal.

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nxb
The template sounds very passive-aggressive, and the excessive length of the
template makes the receiver feel like the freelancer has something to hide.

~~~
gk1
That's a strange way to look at it.

It shows gratitude, explains the decision in a straightforward manner,
provides helpful referrals, and keeps the bridge intact.

Do you have another option?

~~~
nxb
A moody client could see it as insulting to their plans or project.

~~~
chris_hawk
You're right, a moody client could. That said, I don't live my life or run my
business walking on eggshells, concerned with what the moody might do or say
or think. I don't recommend anyone else do so, either.

When I craft interactions, I do so using a "reasonable client" standard, not a
"moody client" standard. I can bear no responsibility for whatever negative
interpretation a moody client may choose to assign to my words.

My responsibility as a professional is to communicate in a clean, honest, and
not-tone-deaf manner. Now, if I fail on any of those three points, that's on
me, for certain. And when I deliver a piece of communication that comes up
"green lights" on those three points, it's on the recipient if they have a
negative emotional reaction.

~~~
nxb
Someone pasting that template to a client is doing the opposite of "honest"
communication :)

~~~
chris_hawk
I disagree. For whatever reason - the tech, the client, etc - the project is a
bad fit. The e-mail says so as politely as possible, and moves on.

Looks like you & me are from different planets perspective-wise, my friend. :)

------
imaginenore
Why not outsource and pocket the difference?

~~~
s73v3r
Because part of the reason you might not want to take the job would be because
of the people you'd have to work with.

~~~
chris_hawk
Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. Very astute, s73v3r.

Client projects can be more like marriages than most freelancer are aware of,
or would want to admit if they were.

