
Ask HN: How to stop anxiety from too many choices? - dennisy
The obvious answer here is to reduce choices. However the past few months I am struggling hugely with anxiety which is rendering me incapable on some days to make any real progress on my goals; startup, learning &amp; side projects.<p>When the pandemic began, and we lost our clients I have found myself in a constant state of ideation and future thinking, but once I start one of these (semi-pivots) I get worried that there is a better idea and go back to the drawing board.<p>How does one stop this process?
======
acituan
It doesn’t have to be the number of choices creating anxiety. Maybe an
existing anxiety is pushing you towards seeing more choices to block yourself
from committing on one, because you are too internally conflicted.

Motivation has an internal hierarchy, you do a thing in the name of a more
core thing in the name of a more core thing. But this is not a tree, you also
have different parts of you wanting different, conflicting things at the same
time. So a lack of decisiveness on the outside might reflect an internal
conflict inside.

If you side with one side of the conflict (starting with your semi pivot), the
other side of the conflict might get stronger and more polarized. Same goes
for medication, it will ease your decision making at the expense of silencing
certain parts of yourself.

There are good suggestions about externalizing this conflict to journals,
talking to a therapist etc. I would also suggest doing less things (not siding
with any of the conflicting parts for a while) and to actually listen to
yourself. What is this all about? What is the core motivating factor all these
parts are organized around? In the grand scheme of your life, is a startup is
nothing. What do you truly value and find meaningful? Don’t be eager to come
up with an answer but instead listen to yourself for insight. That might be
what your anxiety is telling you anyway; “stop doing things and listen to me”.

------
LarryMade2
Stop shopping start doing.

\- All these decisions I call shopping, where you do a lot of research but
never commit. At some point you have to start working on something.

\- I bet you have a few candidates for what things you want to do/use. Pick
one, start using it. Only then can you figure out if that's the right choice
or whether you need to do/try something else on your short list.

If you are too nervous about something because it all matters too much, then
start with some throwaway thing that is related that you won't mind if it
turns out a mess. Usually I pick something with a problem area that I have
mainly been "shopping" for, and put the tool/language/data/etc through it's
paces.

If you don't know where to start, re-create/copy something that already
exists. That will reduce the need for planning for your first steps.

It's been said novelist Jack Kerouac re-typed F. Scott Fitzgerald's the Great
Gatsby twice because he that it was favorite book and wanted to write like a
book like that, by actively putting those words on paper he got a better
understanding of how to write.

~~~
mowsmith
I believe it was Hunter S. Thompson who typed out The Great Gatsby and not
Kerouac.
[https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2005/03/07/believer](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2005/03/07/believer)

~~~
LarryMade2
Thank you, I stand corrected. Great idea still.

------
ProblemFactory
Two methods that have helped me:

* Have an ideas journal. Write new ideas down there, and don't start with any of them in less than two weeks. This lets you get over the initial enthusiasm - and perhaps new better ideas will push less useful ones out of the way in that time. If something stays at the top of your list for weeks, then perhaps it is useful.

* If you are having trouble deciding between a small number of fixed options, roll the dice. The very fact that you are having trouble deciding means that (within the information available to you right now) _all choices are equally good_. And sometimes when you see the dice rolling and know that the decision will happen _now_ you realise which one you want.

~~~
egypturnash
Also useful with dice-rolling: if you realize you absolutely _hate_ the option
the dice chose, and prefer something else, you now know what to actually get
started on!

~~~
gunshai
I remember hearing this on freakonomics. I really enjoyed this solution
although I rarely use it in practice.

------
mikekchar
My advice is to lower the value of ideas. A lot of time people think, "If only
I had a good idea I would be successful". You will see other people saying
things like, "Buy my good idea!". But really, good ideas are a dime a dozen.
Good ideas, bad ideas... it actually doesn't make much difference. What makes
the difference is execution and timing.

For things that take a long time, timing is essentially random. The world is
chaotic. Had I known everyone and their dog would be locked down in their
houses for months on end, I would have built something to cater to them. But
of course, there is no way to know. I find it amusing that just before the
pandemic there was a thread on HN talking about overvalued unicorns and Zoom
was up near the top of the list. What would need to happen to make Zoom a
household name, people asked?

To be successful, really what you need is execution and to have the patience
to wait until what you are doing is relevant. Of course there is the fear that
it will _never_ be relevant. However, if you accept the thesis that the good
idea is not valuable in itself, then you realise that it is not really
valuable to pivot without a really good reason. A good idea that is never
relevant is just as worthless as a bad idea that is never relevant. However,
even a bad idea that is executed very well and ready when the opportunity
arises can be successful.

------
chrisandchips
It’s a bit hard to give concrete advice without knowing more but it sounds
like the anxiety is linked to a fear of failure?

You should try to weigh the pros and cons of your options as best you can, of
course. You should also try to break down your tasks into achieveable goals as
much as possible so as to build up your confidence as you achieve them and
lessen your anxiety.

But at a certain point, you can only know and project so much about your
options unless you actually try them. When you choose something, dont quit
when you start to doubt if theres a better way. You aren’t actually equipped
to make that evaluation until you have tried and succeeded/failed with your
current path. Its a good thing to fail, it teaches you a lot going forward.

I think the real problem you need to address is your difficulty accepting
risk, which i suspect is tied to a fear of failure. Start trying to convince
yourself that mistakes are good things.

When choosing a path, plan benchmarks where you can step back and evaluate
concrete work up until that point. Only consider changing your path if you
have concrete evidence to prove that you’re going astray. And ask others for
their opinions along the way, don’t do it all alone

Good luck

~~~
runawaybottle
There’s a lot of mental gymnastics that are stopping the OP from attacking the
problem. Fear of failure, perfectionism, and putting ideas on a pedestal are
constructs of the ego.

The ego is most likely framing the entire situation as ‘What is this grand
pivot that, if executed properly, will change everything?’. Very pretentious,
don’t let your ego frame things in that manner.

~~~
loceng
Makes me think about "getting ahead of oneself" \- e.g. thinking, worrying,
too much about the future.

“Being where you are is bliss, thinking about where you want to be is
suffering.”

Hence why meditation to observe your thoughts and observe if you react to
thoughts is a useful practice for training yourself to be more in the present
moment - because there's no gift like the present!

~~~
runawaybottle
Sure, it’s a standard defense mechanism. The particular mental model you are
describing, the ‘living in the future’ model, is often used by people on
extreme ends to justify all types of bad behavior in the present. They begin
to rationalize simple things like procrastinating, because ‘it won’t be like
this in the future, so I am absolved of my actions in the present’.

The OP is effectively saying ‘I don’t have to do _any_ work, because in the
future I will have the perfect idea that will be worth working on’.

That’s the root issue that needs to be tackled, plenty of other posters have
given frameworks for doing so (breaking things down, etc).

But we must keep the root cause in mind, because it will always pop up in
other scenarios, e.g ‘It’s okay if I never followed up with this girl/guy,
because one day I’ll meet a better girl/guy’, or, ‘I don’t have to care too
much about this person, because he/she won’t be around in a few months’, etc.

It’s all part of the same framework, be vigilant.

~~~
topicseed
Not the OP, but very insightful and very accurate. Thank you for this
reminder.

------
K0SM0S
Personally:

\- see the first step, the very next step, and that's it. You don't need to
know what step 2,748 is about let alone how to solve it to take the next door.
(formally: no premature optimization). All you need is the end-goal (general
direction) and the next step to move forward, at all times. This considerably
narrows the magnitude of freedom/choice locally, which feels comforting.

\- Anxiety is "nostalgia about the future". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's a "FOMO" regarding a desirable state that you have not yet encountered.
There's a word for a more positive take of a slightly different thing:
"saudade". In this I find there's a middle ground of acceptance and longing
that strikes the right balance to keep a positive mind about the future.

\- Make a decision, and stick to it. In other words, be quick to decide but
slow to change. The trick in life is not to "do what you love" (or make the
decisions you think are right: spoiler, you'll be wrong 50% of the time). The
trick is to "love what you do", to learn that mindset, which is how we give a
real chance to the paths we take (not half-ass it, not work actively against
your own success). If you learn to love all that you do, then suddenly the
stakes are very different, and good/bad decisions are more complex, more
shaded. That's good, like increasing resolution to better "see". It becomes
easier to navigate, like your vessel has a better map.

\- Every single decision you made in life, you did your best at the time with
the information you had. Nobody tries to fail on purpose, nobody wants to make
the wrong decision. Therefore, 1. there is no point in regret, only in
learning lessons; 2. Hindsight is 20/20 but has no practical purpose except
implemented as action in the present (to solve a real current problem).

Now this is how I "tame" my own mind, when thinking of those things. Stoicism
was my entry point into such self-control, self-knowledge to begin with.

------
azhu
One does not stop it unless one never wants to generate any new ideas. What
one stops is the imbalance and the sort of proactive procrastination it leads
to, of always thinking about starting and never starting, and one does that by
executing with commitment on some of the ideas.

That'll chip away at that FOMO anxiety because you'll be focused on what
you're doing rather than what you're not doing. At the end of the day, it's
just going to be exposure therapy to the situation where you know you're not
fully capturing all possibilities that gets you over that fear. You absolutely
can't predict the future so you absolutely can't ever capture all the
possibilities. Perfection is the enemy of choice.

Don't make it complicated in your head, despite how loudly your gut screams at
you that the risk warrants infinitely granular consideration -- just start and
trust the idea(s). If you have too much anxiety, surround yourself with a
support system you trust that you can rubber duck how solid the ideas are
with. The rest will work itself out.

------
tuna-piano
Good enough vs Best

I have similar problems sometimes- and remind myself the power of "good
enough". Striving for "the best" will often leave you unsatisfied. So instead
of thinking "which is better?" think "is this one good enough?"

"If you ever aren't sure if you attended the very best party or bought the
very best computer, just settle for "good enough." People who do this are
called "satisficers," and they're consistently happier, he's found, than are
"maximizers," people who feel that they must choose the very best possible
option."

[https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/03/the-
power...](https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/03/the-power-of-
good-enough/387388/)

------
hanniabu
I also struggle with this. I know I can rate the pros/cons of each and tally
the points, but I also struggle from deciding which items should be weighed
higher than others. I'm also aware that a lot of choices aren't as critical as
I make them out to be but I somehow can't seem to get over this mental
hurdles. For some background I'm very analytical, precise, and organized and a
lot of times I absolutely hate it because it can be debilitating in normal
aspects of life as well.

~~~
mkaic
Agreed. I think stepping back and forcing myself to look at a “big picture”
view of my situation and my choices has been helpful for me. It’s like you
said, many of your choices probably aren’t as critical as your brain tells you
they are—-I know that’s the case for me. A lot of times it really doesn’t
matter whether I take path A or path B, as long as I’m still moving forward.

------
Waterluvian
I'm not sure this is advice on _how_ but what I do is stop searching once I
find a valid option.

Life's too short to worry about, "what if an even better option is just over
the hill?" Nope. This one's good.

I do this with phones, shampoo, and even a car this season.

~~~
atlantique
This was really helpful. Thank you.

------
pjc50
Flip a coin.

You don't have to stick with the result, but just try it on mentally for a
second and feel your response. If your immediate response to the decision that
had been made for you is negative, then discard that choice entirely.

Or ask the debug rubber duck.

------
ac29
"The best thing is to do the right thing; the next best is to do the wrong
thing; the worst thing of all things is to stand perfectly still"

(taken from the wikipedia article on this topic:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analysis_paralysis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analysis_paralysis))

I think this is pretty good advice - in a way, the only bad thing to do is
nothing. Failure is the best learning tool, so make a choice and commit to it.
When exploring a new field, working on a new project, or starting a new
company, no amount of thinking about things is going to land you on the
perfect decision every time. Its better to be decisive, even if it means
making random decisions. Just be sure to take time to execute your decisions,
time to reflect on how they went, and the courage to let them go if they dont
work.

~~~
vibrolax
Doing the wrong thing is not categorically better than doing nothing. If
you're paralyzed on one subject, change focus to something else you can make
progress on.

------
jmount
First anxiety is real, you must/can manage it.

My trick is externalize and slow down ideas.

Instead of immediately pursuing ideas, enter small descriptions of them in a
journal. That tends to cut down on the effort to remember them.

Also set an inverse deadline, that you are not going to start anything before
the inverse deadline (and maybe even after).

~~~
scrivna
I use the inverse deadline trick all the time for purchases. For example I
decide I want the new “Apple gadget” that’s $1k+ or some other thing that I
probably desire but don’t “need”. Then I tell myself I can buy it if I wait 30
days and A) Still want it. B) Have thought about it multiple times since the
initial desire. Most times this stops me from impulse buying things a I don’t
need. I prefer to live frugally and with less belongings, so it has worked
well for my personality YMMV.

------
dependsontheq
It might just be anxiety and not something related to your choices - I
recommend seeing a therapist and thinking about treatment options. I was in
the same situation and looking back it had less to do with my external
stressors and more with me.

------
keyle
Do them all; all the ideas. If your body says stop, you know it's not the
right way. If it still feels right after 2-3 days, it's probably right.

I also found that a spreadsheet with:

    
    
             | difficulty | est. time | benefit
      idea         5            5          5
      idea         3            2          4
      idea         2            1          2
      idea        ...
      idea
       
    

... helps cutting out a lot of undesirable long term ideas.

Make you own columns but basically it's about managing time, risk, feasibility
and potential outcome.

HTH.

------
jennyyang
Just because you have choices doesn't mean that each choice has the same level
of opportunity. Sort the list of choices based on level of opportunity or
probability of success and just work on the list in that order.

A good leader or a good strategizer can pretty quickly figure out which
choices has the best opportunities and narrows down based on that. If you have
a hard time determining the level of opportunity or the probability of
success, then THIS is the skill you need to develop.

------
PeterisP
Unhealthy anxiety triggered by too many choices is not really caused by the
existence of the choices, but by an unhealthy mental reaction towards these
choices.

And it won't be fixed by reducing the choices (though the symptoms may be
temporarily reduced that way), a fix needs address the underlying
condition(s). To put it clearly, I'm not a doctor and I'm definitely not your
doctor, but in general "anxiety which is rendering me incapable on some days
to make any real progress on my goals" is not a healthy reaction to any number
of choices, and "I have found myself in a constant state of ideation" is not a
state that should be accepted or adapted to, these things need fixing.

Consulting a mental health professional is the proper way to check if there
are underlying conditions and if so, what's the best way to treat it - an
internet forum can only make some guesses based on incomplete information. If
that's not an option for some reason, things like meditation or self-CBT
sometimes help some people who have anxiety problems.

------
stevebmark
From the book "Extreme Ownership" (a pretty good read), for how to deal with
maximum stress situations when there are multiple things to worry about:

Take a breath. Look around. Make a call.

With an emphasis on taking care of the most pressing things first. But if you
don't know the most pressing thing, you can still take input from what's
around you to help make a decision.

------
h0l0cube
This is going to seem overly prescriptive, but please bear with me:

    
    
        - open your most basic text editor
        - make a file called 'todo.txt' 
        - add a dot point: '- plan out ideas' 
        - now make a file for each of your ideas 
          - write a '- plan' dot point, along with sub-points that outline your milestones 
          - write a '- first steps' dot point, along with sub-points
    

By this point, it will emerge that some of your ideas are more feasible or
more interesting... for now. Grow each of your ideas at once, or focus on one,
but reduce cognitive load by turning those ideas swimming around in your head
into concrete plans of action.

    
    
       - keep a log of your next steps in the 'todo.txt'
    

.. and don't hate yourself if you don't do them straight away, or at all.
That's completely pointless.

------
LeonB
Decision work is hard work.

Where there's a decision to be made, put that as a serious item on your todo
list. Then get it done -- as in -- do the necessary research to make a good
decision, make the decision, and then tick it off. You'll be less likely to go
back on it, because you know you've done the work.

Decision work is hard work.

------
anujdeshpande
I feel you - have felt something similar before. It helps me to deal with a
thing like this by understanding what I am going through via someone else's
words. Preferably some kind of an expert.

There is a book called Paradox of Choice[0] on this topic. Author has a couple
of videos about the book as well [1].

0 -
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Paradox_of_Choice](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Paradox_of_Choice)
1 -
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iy8R5TZNV1A](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iy8R5TZNV1A)

------
iandanforth
5mg propranolol. Absolute game changer for me. I had no idea how on edge I was
all the time until I felt what it was like to turn that knob down a bit.

Edit: Obviously, talk to your doctor/psychiatrist etc, I am not a physician.

------
dorkwood
It might help to think more about where the anxiety actually comes from. If I
were to guess, I'd say it's likely that your anxiety comes from a fear of time
running out. You only have a limited time on this Earth, and limited resources
with which to execute your ideas, so whatever idea you choose has to be the
optimal one.

If this is true, it might a be helpful to do some thinking around whether it
is even possible to know which idea is optimal at this point in time, and if
so, whether that idea would continue to be optimal in the future.

~~~
dennisy
I feel I also do have a fear of time being short (death), and most likely they
are linked.

I always feel I will not have enough time to do / learn all the things I want.

~~~
dorkwood
I've experienced the same feelings. I can remember feeling sad and frustrated
when I first started to realise there wasn't enough time for me to learn all
the things I wanted to learn. How was I supposed to choose? Every little
choice seemed like it would have a monumental effect on the outcome of my
life. Doors were closing around me with each passing moment.

I don't remember exactly when or how my mindset changed, but I know I
eventually just started to accept it. When I die, there is no scoreboard. I
don't take my skills with me. All my knowledge evaporates. I will likely not
even be conscious enough to make a mental tally of my achievements.

There's something to be said for relinquishing a bit of control, learning to
enjoy the process and seeing where it takes you from one moment to the next.

~~~
dennisy
Thanks for this!

------
bedobi
Commenting mostly for myself :P

I struggle a lot with analysis paralysis and worrying about not picking the
best possible option, anything from simple things like what to have for lunch
to big life choices.

The thing is, yes, there are virtually infinite choices, but you have to admit
to yourself that it simply isn't possible to experience all of them, or even
analyze all of them, or never pick the wrong one. It's literally impossible.

So you just have to roll with it. Evaluate a little, but not too much. Pick an
option, but don't kill yourself if it doesn't work out- learn from it and move
on.

Come to think of it, it's human nature to focus on and praise people who
commit hard, are very unforgiving with themselves and struggle for something
until they eventually succeed. We like that kind of narrative.

But it seems to me like it's much healthier to be flexible and easy on
yourself. Not to the point of being lazy and unambitious- it's good to aspire
to things and keep yourself accountable. Just be realistic and don't stress
yourself out for no reason.

Eg, I used to code on personal projects after work and do coding challenges
etc... but how does that give anyone a rich and meaningful life? Your friends
and family won't care, chances are your colleagues and bosses won't either. Go
outside and enjoy something :P

------
nickjj
Your question just made me think that this happens everywhere, not just
software development so maybe try to relate it to that to make you think about
the problem in another context.

If you want to buy a piece of computer hardware, there's always the next
greatest thing around the corner (a more efficient CPU, better GPU, cheaper
SSD, etc.).

What about a car? Or an apartment? Is this a good block to live on? What about
1 of the other 50 towns in a decent radius -- or even thousands of towns in
the general region?

At some point you just need to say fuck it and commit to something. If you've
done a bit of preliminary research beforehand, chances are whatever tech stack
you pick is going to work out just fine.

And now the question is whether you're building your side project for the sake
of launching a product or for the sake of learning something new because that
is a pretty big factor in what you pick in the end.

This topic just came up recently in a podcast I was on. Here's a direct link
to what Todd Gardner said (he launched a very successful side project using
.NET almost 7 years ago which is going strong today) on this topic:
[https://runninginproduction.com/podcast/28-easily-find-
repro...](https://runninginproduction.com/podcast/28-easily-find-reproduce-
and-track-your-javascript-errors-with-trackjs#1:10:38)

But also if you glance the site, you'll see many different projects were
shipped using tons of different tech stacks. I would say pick the tech stack
that makes you the most happy to develop with. All of the major frameworks are
solid at this point.

------
sbmthakur
I have been in similar situations. Keeping following things in mind usually
help me:

* At any time only one task should have the top priority.

* Consume less, create more.

* If possible, complete the task at hand. Context switching has its own overhead.

* Do not have a lot of things lying around (includes browser tabs/windows). They contribute to cognitive load and may cause cognitive dissonance.

* Your health and peace of mind are important than all other things. So, always find out time for sleep, diet and exercise.

------
uthburn
Best trick I've found is options + tiebreaker + timer. First step is writing
down the choices I can't decide between. Then my tiebreaker is flipping a
coin. Doesn't matter what you use, something just has to take the choice out
of your hands. Then I time myself, usually 30 minutes, and after that time I
allow myself back into a new decision mode.

------
rt214
Learn to embrace the randomness... Rate all the pros/cons is a insane way of
living. Is it has to many choices, start on the choice you will never take or
just take the minimum risk (both are bad choices, but is a start). In time you
will understand that choices don't mater and you will have more time to
apreciate what maters most... your live.

------
_448
My approach is to create directories for all the ideas I have. One directory
for one idea. Add a readme file to that directory with explanation in what
that idea is, how I will execute it and what challenges I might face. Then let
it be there for few days. If you think an idea is "doable", try to implement a
simple feature of the idea. Make that implementation modular enough so that it
can be used in other ideas. If you get bored with that implementation, then
move on to another in the list. This takes a few days. But at the end you
start liking one of these ideas more that the other ideas on the list. Now
rate these ideas on "doable", "likable", "sellable" etc. And pick the one that
has the highest rating. This is the continuous process until you get the one
idea that you spend more time on implementing. That is the one that you should
implement.

------
drewcoo
Asking HN seems like it would offer more possible solutions to your problem
than you had to begin with. Is this intended?

------
zatel
In my experience I've found the best way to combat this is to pick a single
thing and then pick a timeframe (something short like a couple of weeks at
most) and then you aren't allowed to do any other projects until you complete
the one you choose or the timeframe expires.

This is aided by putting ideas that come up along the way into a journal like
mentioned in other comments.

For example I want to go back to learning go, and I want to practice foreign
languages, and I want to work on small short term schemes. But I decided in
mid april to work on a short list of four tasks until may 20th. I can only
work on those tasks (unless some urgent work thing comes up). I find this
method to be super relaxing because I know that as new ideas come up I can
just log them for later and only have a short list of things to think about
and work on. It's very freeing.

------
eloff
I find it's helpful to write down the idea and let it sit for a while. Then I
make a pros/cons table on a different day and try to compare the ideas on a
scale of 1-10 on various metrics that seem important. Often the decision
becomes clear at this point. If it's still not clear, toss a coin and monitor
your reaction. If it's negative, take the other decision.

Stay nimble down the road and reconsider if you made the right decision, but
with a bias to sticking it out with what you chose. It's better to make the
wrong choice and realize it soonish than to make no choice at all.

I have a problem getting distracted by new shiny ideas, so I don't allow
myself any real pivots until I at least get past the MVP state. I tell myself
to finish and launch it, even if nobody uses it, just to prove I can finish
stuff.

------
marvion
Apart from all other comments, meditation and a journal... depending on your
history, an ADHD test could be on the list to try out.

Edit: There are many better options to try out... but I just want to have this
in this list - because a yearlong routine also could have helped you to "cover
up" your ADHD.

~~~
james_s_tayler
Recently just figured this out about myself. Was thinking the same thing.

------
Dowwie
You are not alone. :)

Are you familiar with cognitive distortions? You may be experiencing all-or-
nothing, black-or-white thinking for a world full of shades of gray. You begin
to discover truths by taking courageous action in the face of uncertainty.
Just try. Accept uncertainty.

------
flyinglizard
Progress is usually made not by any one single decision but by taking many,
many smaller decisions and executing on them. Very rarely will you encounter
choices that are both strategic and irreversible. They happen few times a
year, if you live an adventurous life that is.

With the smaller everyday decisions, you don’t need to hit 100% optimization.
What you need is throughput, even only if you get 80% right.

For example, prioritizing is usually a waste of time. Just get something done.
Then get another thing done. Reflecting on past decisions is ok, once. Then
you move on.

Just optimize for get up and doing. What you do is less important; I’d argue
things will sort themselves out anyway as you do, uncover things you do not
see or understand and iterate.

------
kirubakaran
Try meditation?

[https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=false&qu...](https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=false&query=mindfulness&sort=byPopularity&type=comment)

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moosey
There is an entire section of "the organized mind" centering on decision
making. I am reading many things here that are discussed and explained from a
cognitive psychology viewpoint in the book. I can't recommend it enough.

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Pamar
Try this [https://www.pa-mar.net/Lifestyle/I-Ching.html](https://www.pa-
mar.net/Lifestyle/I-Ching.html) \- and then stick to whatever _you_ think it
tells to you.

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shireboy
I’m probably the worst person to give advice on this. I have a board full of
half baked ideas and never enough time to do them. But one thing that comes to
mind in general about “analysis paralysis” is to give yourself permission to
fail. It’s ok if in retrospect you would have made a better choice. Or if you
pivot 100 times before landing on a winner. All anybody can do is make the
best choice at the time with the what they are given. You should try to make
informed intentional decisions, but nobody gets it right 100% of the time.

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sixdimensional
Do you have a friend or family member, who is capable of understanding your
ideas, who you trust, that you could talk to about your ideas?

I don't have many people like this, but I have one friend who is, who is very
patient and will always talk to me and listen too. He is pretty opinionated
too, which can actually help me a lot sometimes to get some biases that help
get things moving - it pushes me to decide. And he genuinely seems to want to
help me also, without anything in return.

So I guess what I'm saying is, "phone a trustworthy, opinionated friend"?

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glennericksen
I like to work through a process like this: what do I have to work with; whats
important right now; what’s the next best step to go forward; do it. Again and
again.

None of your immediate next steps will solve the problem; but maybe it will be
step 6 or 8 or 20 that does. But if you are only ever repeating steps 1-3 you
are going to run out of time. Change direction if it seems like you won’t be
able to capitalize on the current strategy, not if another strategy might work
better.

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DmitryOlshansky
Know that on any solution it’s enough to have 1 or 2, 3 “degrees” of
variability (tuning parameters, variables of chouce). The rest can and should
be randomly constrained with respect to the chosen trio (or pair) of
parameters.

Pick your favorites and change them every now and then.

I prefer hardware constraints such as “it has to run on commodity laptops with
OS among the big ones of Windows/Linux/OSX/*BSD”. Or it has to be pure Shell
script. Or it has to fit on 3 A4 pages.

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dontbenebby
Reduce choices. Podcasts over streaming. Long weird ambient music albums over
jumping around on a music service. Movies over tv shows. That sort of stuff
thing.

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PopeDotNinja
My personal philosophy is to be good at offering something people need & want,
go where the people are, and offer it to them. It's an over simplification,
but the general idea is:

\- it's easier to sell something people need and want, because they're already
prepared to spend money

\- you can't sell to customers you can't reach, so pick customers that are
easier to reach

\- if your customers aren't coming to you, go to them

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topicseed
I can relate especially with today's vast arrays of choices for pretty much
anything in our fields (databases, architectures and philosophies, programming
languages, cloud providers, etc).

I am still struggling from this myself but rolling the dice helped. If I
clearly picked a wrong choice, at least I learnt and gained knowledge. Over
time, it does cost less to fail and pivot back to a different path.

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lucb1e
I think my advice would be to try to pick one of the easier options (maybe not
the easiest, but probably also not a complex and risky option) and decide
beforehand that you'll see it through until some goal (or perhaps for a
certain number of hours).

It also helps to have someone who works on a similar thing, to exchange
thoughts, vent frustration, and perhaps receive encouragement.

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jdamon96
you yourself said the answer (reduce choices). just because it is obvious does
not mean that it is not difficult. choose one thing to go deep on, and adjust
as you learn more information. make sure you actually go deep though - don't
just adjust as soon as things get difficult.

life is also really hard so try to have a sense of humor along the way - this
is all one big game :)

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abinaya_rl
Looks like this HN thread is also going to give you a lot of options. Now you
need to be careful to choose which one to go for :)

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lihaciudaniel
You mean too many choices e.g food or go to work; speed up or slow down; stay
afternoon or go home. Well in those cases stressful choices like this always
happen just go through them and ponder important stuff

If you mean too many choices like choose between 100 frameworks or flavours
then in that case you could try just going with simple, popular or preference

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tapatio
Maybe time box the pivot. Maybe start three different pivots at the same time?
Maybe go on vacation. Vacation brings clarity.

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abnry
It sounds like you are afraid of opportunity costs and the failure of any
investment of time going bust.

You are future thinking and probably worried it won't work out, as you've lost
some clients.

I would recommend picking the least risky option you can do, and stick with
it. It may help if you, as an exercise, work out what the least risky thing
is.

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cvaidya1986
Pick the one easier to begin and with idea founder fit. Which means you are
uniquely suited, passionate, excited about it!

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unexaminedlife
Find commonalities among the different ideas. This way you could start working
on what I like to call the "infrastructure" of the solution. This continues to
leave open opportunity to pivot, and will make it easier to do so since it
will take less effort to bootstrap what you pivot to.

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psychomugs
"(1) Finish a project. (2) Start a project." \- Michel Gondry (Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

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Emphere
Understanding that deciding to weight the choices is also a a choice and not
necessarily always a useful one :)

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unexaminedlife
Depends on the specifics. Who is the customer? If the customer isn't going to
be you you're probably not the best person to be making the decision(s).

If you're trying to come up with new products ask the people who will be
potential customers what sorts of products they're after.

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sapling
One way to look at - You don't need to make a right choice. Make a choice and
then make it right.

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austincheney
This may sound unpopular, but the problem is the anxiety itself, not your
plethora of choices. Removing the nubmer of choices likely will not remove the
apprehension you have towards them. There are two resolutions to this problem:

1) Perseverance

2) Medication

My recommendation is to seek out a mental health professional to provide you a
medical solution, which is a treatment regiment and not necessarily pills. I
would consider a pharmaceutical answer only as a last resort and if the
condition is severe, as determined by your mental health professional.

That being said perseverance, resiliency, is perhaps the best treatment path
if you free to make major life changes and your anxiety is not a crippling
mental health disorder. I have encountered many people who have had, in my
opinion, a rather boring and easy life thrust into a world of making decisions
they are not prepared for. The resulting scenario is a variety of relatively
minor mental health ailments, which is a coping disorder more than anything
else.

This has been studied to death in the military, largely as a result of the
military's higher than civilian average suicide rate. The primary reason
suicides are higher in the military, and in law enforcement, is that there are
default behaviors limit and deter suicidal ideation, such as fear of death.
Many military members and law enforcement learn to overcome that fear and so
are less restricted from suicide as a matter of behavior alone. Once those
factors are taken off the table and suicides are examined purely from the
statistical data correlation the largest demographic is young white males from
suburban middle-class families. The demographic with the lowest suicide rate
are black females from lower-income households of any age. The data suggests
the primary differential factor is proximity and frequency of hardships prior
to entering the military, as in learned coping mechanisms.

Coping mechanisms are skills that can still be learned as adults, but only if
you are willing to accept that there is a current problem state and that some
change is required. This is why there are stories of people going on extreme
out of routine adventures, which result in something they might describe as a
religious experience.

In my own experience, having done this a few times, I find that I have
exchanged one set of anxieties for others I didn't realize were ever present.
I am embarking on my 5th military deployment and my 8 or 9th multi-month
family separation due to military. My marriage and bold with my kids are
strong and being away is no longer a point of anxiety. We have simply figured
out how to make it work well for us. I used to be anxious about learning
professional skills and getting a better corporate job, but after having gone
through that a few times and playing the corporate game I am confident in my
capabilities don't really care to play this game. Now, I am anxious to be work
as a corporate developer from the boredom, limited responsibilities, low
stress, long periods of downtime, and so forth. I see the things my coworkers
stress over and I remember being stressed about those things many years ago
and the familiar uncertainty of work, but its just not a big deal. I suppose I
should have been careful what I wished for.

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vfinn
My strategy at the moment is not to choose. After keeping a log of my ideas
for over a year, I noticed my interests circulated around a few topics/ideas.
So I decided to work on "all of them", switching the priority based on
feeling.

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craftkiller
I know its a bit corny to turn to movies for wisdom, but whenever I am stuck I
always remember this scene from Choke (2008)

> And listen very closely.

> 'Cause nothing worth having comes without a risk.

> [...]

> 'Cause sometimes it's not important which way you jump...

> just that you jump.

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uxenthusiast
Try to read the Paradox Of choice by barry schwartz. It deals with exactly
that issue.

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humility
Courage. Just make a choice and stick with it.

Remind yourself of a time when you were down/outgunned yet you came on top of
the situation.

If the much less experienced past you could overcome a fall, the current you
most assuredly can.

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bl1mp
Same problem. Did not go to uni, self taught instead, did not foresee the
problem of not a lack of options but far too many, and a lot of them are
pretty good. But I'm a noob. Following thread.

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jonbaer
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decision-
making](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decision-making) (specifically the
cognitive styles portion)

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Dumblydorr
Pick one randomly and get to work. You can't tell which ideas in life will be
most profitable, so you may as well do ANY of them now instead of hurting your
mental health waffling between them.

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rb808
But is it really a problem?

Someone here recommended the book "Refuse to choose". Its not a great book but
has a gold opinion: Maybe doing just a bit of everything isn't bad if you
enjoy it.

Some people want to do everything, just do that, don't feel like you have to
achieve mastery or complete the project, just keeping doing these new things
because you like them.

[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/287818.Refuse_to_Choose_](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/287818.Refuse_to_Choose_)

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tonymet
Find a partner who you trust. run your ideas by them and have them help you
think through them rigorously. come to a consensus and commit.

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koolhead17
Make a list:

1\. Add everything you want to achieve.

2\. Divide it among the categories: learning, goals etc.

3\. Start striking off the list and limit to 3 in each.

4\. Repeat the process, limit it to two.

Focus.

Good Luck.

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rasengan
Choose the idea you're fully passionate about and drop the others (put them in
an icebox).

~~~
non-entity
Unfortunately this has more than often led me to realize I'm not quite capable
of working on the things in passionate about.

~~~
Torwald
I don't think this is possible. On this planet, if you are willing to put in a
solid effort, people will take it. Or am I overlooking something?

~~~
non-entity
Its possible to put in a solid effort and fall flat. For natural reasons, such
as the limits of our intelligence or institutional reasons, i.e. I lack access
to the tools to work on my passions because they're highly regulated,
expensive, etc.

~~~
Torwald
What kind of tools are that? I ask because I am sure I can point you towards a
solution. Please give me more detail.

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failrate
Artificial constraints systems like Dogme can be remarkably effective focusing
tools.

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DenisM
If anxiety gets in the way talk to a doctor.

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bananamerica
Zen meditation can help.

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ondrej_s
Communism

