
You’re not important to me but I want to meet with you - bkohlmann
https://steveblank.com/2020/03/04/youre-not-important-to-me-but-i-want-to-meet-with-you/
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vaidhy
I am not too happy with the phrasing "Outside of a company there are two types
of meetings; 1) When you want something from someone, 2) When they need
something from you."

I like to think about my meetings as "1)Am I building a relationship? or 2) Is
this a transaction?" If it is 1, then I would invest more of my time into
this. I do not want to spend a lot of time in building a relationship with my
plumber, even though I do want something from them.

I believe the author was thinking the meeting as a relationship building while
the founder was treating as a transaction and hence the disconnect.

~~~
econcon
There are people tho who want to form new relationships, they start out by
doing some favour to you then they expect that you reciprocate it when it
doesn't go the way they want it to go, they become your enemy resorting to
threat or retaliation

Transactional relationships which don't carry over to future are much better.
Only thing that should carry over is "trust" not favours.

This is commonly known as "nice guy" in popular culture these days.

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rhn_mk1
While the general advice feels sound, the point of doing small talk as part of
the scheduling was not explained clearly enough for me.

It's not going to convince anyone to do things for the other person. It
doesn't send the message that the meeting is urgent or important, and nothing
about it will help getting both parties closer to the objective. It sounds
like it would be better replaced by pleasantries that are actually related to
the meeting, like the choice of food, possibility of a follow-up meeting, etc.

~~~
travisjungroth
From the article:

I always managed to interject a casual set of questions when I was setting up
a meeting. “What type of food do you like? Do you have a favorite
restaurant/location?”

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travisjungroth
What are people's thoughts on using Calendly and the like? I'm asking people
for meetings a lot lately, and usually after they agree I send them a link and
ask them to "find whatever time works best for you."

Practically, this seems like the nicest thing to do. They get to pick a time
in my very open schedule and there's no back and forth. But emotionally, it
feels like I'm giving a task to someone who just accepted to help me.

These are all 20 minute video calls, by the way.

~~~
michaelbuckbee
I came here after reading the article to ask the same question as I do worry
about it feeling weird.

The middle ground I've settled on is to say something like: "I'd love to meet,
either give me some times that work for you can pick a time from my Calendly
[link]" and then most people go for the Calendly link.

~~~
travisjungroth
Thanks. I think I'll combine our strategies. After they've already agreed to
meet, I'll ask if they want to send over times and I'll give them my link.

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opks
Ok, I live in the midwest and run a startup. How do I get an audience with
Steve Blank? Believe me, I know I'm not important to anyone in Silicon Valley
(welcome to flyover country!)

~~~
subhobroto
You email him.

... but wait - why exactly do you want to contact Steve Blank?

What does he, specifically bring to the table that Elon Musk does not?

What does he, specifically bring to the table that Javier Dauser does not?

I can tell you from experience that every successful businessman reads their
own emails. Every single one. They only respond to those that make sense to
them though, not every single one that they read.

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PeterStuer
I guess I am used to seeing a different kind of startup. The kind where the
founder having an 'administrator' sounds like a bizzaro weird prioritisation
of early hires.

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mattrp
While I do find the back and forth of finding a date to meet one of the most
mind numbing tasks one can do, I think the author here is placing way too much
importance on this CEO’s actions. Would he still write the same if the ceo
used a bot to perfectly impersonate the ceo?

~~~
JohnFen
I agree with the author's point here. I've long considered it a red flag if
I've been contacted by someone to do something for them, but then get pawned
off on someone else to work out the details.

That tells me either that the person who contacted me is just being used for
their name -- in which case I'm being manipulated -- or that the organization
is so large and bureaucratic that I'm going to have further complications
dealing with them.

> Would he still write the same if the ceo used a bot to perfectly impersonate
> the ceo?

I don't know about the author, but I would consider this to be even worse.

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boublepop
What about people like me who literally just don’t know our own calendar? I
mean I know that it’s near full and I know there are still open slots, but
it’s just too inefficient to start trying to plan a date with someone else
when I don’t know either of the two calendars I’m trying to find a common hole
in. Why not just pass that off to the person who actually knows my calendar?

~~~
steve_g
Efficiency and human relationships don't necessarily go together. I agree with
the author that delegating the contact for a meeting where you are asking for
help comes off like you're not invested. It's just a perception; it might not
reflect the reality of the situation. But that's how it strikes me.

I'd argue that you could probably just look up your calendar in whatever
system your assistant uses.

~~~
mattrp
Or just not get po’d by it.

