
Stop Trying to Raise Successful Kids - adrian_mrd
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/12/stop-trying-to-raise-successful-kids/600751/
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rdtwo
I’m not convinced that kindness beyond the normal expectations is something
that you want your kids to aspire to. We’re living in an increasingly cut
throat and polarized country and while it’s important to provide culture
normative empathy in order to avoid being ostracized, going beyond that is
likely to your own personal detriment. In the workplace the liars, cheaters
and backstabers are the ones that get promoted so why not just skip to the end
point and tell your kid that those are the behaviors that it’s ok to engage in
these behaviors in order to be successful

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mntmoss
One of the "points" of having kids, if there is any, is that you can impose on
them, in some limited degree, the future you _want_ to see.

Now, of course, they graduate and move out and then the real world starts
repeatedly smacking them over the head until they learn to coexist with the
current realities. But that happens with the current success-oriented
parenting styles, too. Lots of kids work hard to succeed at the achievement
markers, develop some notion of entitlement and self-import, and then graduate
into being burnouts, addicts, and recluses - if they didn't already become
anxious messes from the workload. It's not helped by driving that lesson
harder and deeper.

Balance is more important. If they experienced balance as kids, they stand a
chance of finding their way out of imbalance as adults and in turn fighting to
bring about the world _they_ want to see, instead of navigating blindly from a
point of despair.

Developing kindness isn't the only thing to ensure balance, for sure, but it's
one reasonable starting point.

