
Ask HN: How do you become a better communicator? - mhlakhani
When I was in college, I assumed that the difference between a junior and senior engineer was that the senior engineers wrote more code and&#x2F;or just solved the more challenging technical problems.<p>However, after a couple of years on the job, what I&#x27;ve noticed from observing more senior folk is that it all boils down to communication: they are simply more empathic, effective communicators. What I&#x27;ve noticed is that they are better at bridging the gaps between different teams, good at project management &#x2F; delegating work, and mentoring other engineers.<p>Given that, what suggestions do you fine folk have on becoming a better communicator and a more effective senior engineer? Are there any recommended resources &#x2F; books to read up on?
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sharjeel
For me, keeping in view how other people look at the situation is the most
important thing in effective communication. I've found PG's advice the best in
this regard:

""" If you want to learn what people want, read Dale Carnegie's How to Win
Friends and Influence People. [8] When a friend recommended this book, I
couldn't believe he was serious. But he insisted it was good, so I read it,
and he was right. It deals with the most difficult problem in human
experience: how to see things from other people's point of view, instead of
thinking only of yourself.

[8] Buy an old copy from the 1940s or 50s instead of the current edition,
which has been rewritten to suit present fashions. The original edition
contained a few unPC ideas, but it's always better to read an original book,
bearing in mind that it's a book from a past era, than to read a new version
sanitized for your protection. """

[http://paulgraham.com/bronze.html](http://paulgraham.com/bronze.html) """

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dc17
Hi, these are a great question and a right conclusion. But become the good
communicator is only a small thing that you have to change about themselves.

Here are just several points from my experience. 1) You have to get as much
responsibility, as you can. 2) You have to became confident and tough. 3) And
Yes, you have to became a better communicator.

Finally all these are about working on yourself. I can recommend you this
book, which really helped me: [https://www.amazon.com/Unlimited-Power-Science-
Personal-Achi...](https://www.amazon.com/Unlimited-Power-Science-Personal-
Achievement/dp/0684845776/)

By the way it took more that a year to change yourself ) Good Luck!

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AndreyErmakov
To simplify the idea, this transformation into a senior engineer starts to
happen when you stop caring much about technical stuff and discover new
interest in solving bigger problems to which technology is just an instrument.
Basically, when you de-prioritize your initial fascination with technologies,
tools, frameworks, data structures and algorithms and refocus your efforts on
the bigger picture. At that point you'll begin shifting towards a different
kind of a specialist. You'll see your attitude to work changing too, you'll be
doing things based on other considerations and you'll be operating within a
different set of constraints. Then you'll see your other abilities developing
as well, including good communication skills.

I'm not sure if you can or should forcefully push that change through though.
Not everybody is cut out to be a senior engineer, team leader or entrepreneur.
I'm saying it with no negative implication, mind you. People have various
abilities and should value them. A great software engineer pushed into a
senior role might just not have the right personality type and will be
miserable at it, even if he/she was great at coding things. At best just leave
it there, do your job well and let this change eventually arrive to you when
you're ready for it.

Myself, I went through that change a few years ago when I reached a ceiling as
an employed worker and went on to do my own projects. That was the time when I
gained a lot of new technical skills and also underwent a serious personal
transformation, that last part changing me in many interesting and subtle
ways.

One other thing that made me a better communicator happened to be writing.
Some years ago I started a programming blog, at least that was the initial
idea. Technical writing did not work out for me and I then went on to write a
series of essays, both programming-related and not so much. This has had a
profound effect on my communication abilities more than anything else that
I've done in my time. It's something you may consider trying as well, if you
have an inclination towards this line of work.

Whatever you do or don't do, eventually you'll get there if you're supposed to
be there, based on your abilities, personality and individual inclinations.
Then along the way you'll figure out what you should do next to support that
transformation of yours.

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bpmedley
Book: How to win friends and influence people (Carnegie)

Book: The leader in you (Carnegie)

Audio: The-Law-of-Success (With Napolean Hill's voice)

Book: Becoming a person of influence (Maxwell)

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sidcool
Making small talk with people is something I have found useful. Discussing
(even debating) things I care about helps me get a natural flow of language.

