

Ask HN: should I care about losing karma points? - websitescenes

So apparently my ideas are very unpopular and I always get down votes. Does this matter or should I keep speaking my mind?
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tptacek
Here are two comments you wrote that were downvoted, where you subsequently
complained about being downvoted:

 _Thanks for what? Sounds like your opinion is made up. Still trying to figure
out if this is a question. I like Ruby about as much as PHP; I think it 's
more about what you build on the language or what framework you use._

This is an empty comment that includes a (mild) personal attack.

 _Dude, I 'm not your teacher. I come here to learn. Sorry, didn't mean to be
rude. Just working right now. Maybe I'll post an example later._

This is just an empty comment.

In both cases, you'd have been better off saying nothing at all.

You were heavily downvoted recently for being supportive of Obama; I
sympathize, but also wouldn't have written those comments because they're
pointlessly asking for downvotes and anger. But your political comments don't
seem to be a problem (you didn't complain after they got downvoted).

~~~
websitescenes
I see my error in these instances. Good critique.

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nmcfarl
X4’s first line on Karma affecting your mood and life is dead on. Divorcing
your self-esteem from these social indicators is important, but difficult as
the whole point of them is social coercion.

Which in a round about way brings us back to why you should care (but only a
little)- karma exists to push people into conforming with the rules of society
on the site. If you are being punished too badly in the karma ranks you are
not conforming. (Karma also has a lot of noise - a little punishment is to be
expected.) This will presumably be punished with a hell ban after some
instance of severe enough non-conformity, and with that you’ll be straight out
of the community.

I’d look at what you are doing, and if the things you are being punished for
are things that matter to you (and thus perhaps you should give up on this
place), or are stylistic, or some form of social grace. In the latter cases
you could conform with little sacrifice and that would give you a better
platform to interact with others on the site, while at the same time removing
those ugly drops in karma:)

~~~
websitescenes
Also a very sobering addition. Conformity has always been very hard for me and
has caused me problems throughout my life. I've been kicked out of schools and
thrown in jail for non conformity. Knowing this I have to constantly battle
this emotion inside me. I want to be part of this community because I love
tech and development. I need to find my place here and I think this comment
helps me. Thanks

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gesman
Downvoting is an attempt to feel "in control" by distracted individuals who
disagrees with your opinion.

Make them irrelevant by expressing your free thoughts.

~~~
websitescenes
This is the assumption I have been operating on but it has made me mentally
sick fighting battles that don't mean anything. I need to adjust the way I am
contributing to and analyzing hacker news.

~~~
gesman
No. Adjust the way you feel about actions of others. Git rid of "wanting
approval" and keep posting your genuine thoughts.

~~~
websitescenes
I will try to find balance. I definitely want to get rid of the "wanting
approval" aspect. I also want to continue to post my genuine thoughts but I a
want to use more of a filter in what thoughts I post and post them to the
appropriate channels. I am somewhat new to all of this and I am trying to find
my balance. Thank you for your support.

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Ihmahr
There you go, a little bit of karma for you ;)

~~~
websitescenes
Haha thanks. This isn't a karma grab though.

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X4
Don't care about virtual Karma. Really don't! It's addictive, can destroy your
mood and affect your life. The same applies for "likes". See it as a kind of
addiction, a sickness, something that is manipulative and ill-fated.

I don't say anything about your comments, your style, or your person! I'll let
others do help you with that, because I'm not qualified for that.

Life is about making the life of other people better. Your life only becomes
better this way. Well, you might think about Oil barons, Zuckerberg, Bill
Gates, PRISM etc., but the reality is that whatever they do makes someone's
life better and people pay for it and in return their own life becomes better
too.

One has to accept that even a million likes or karma points have a low
potential of changing your life to the better. Many reading this will think
that having million karma points will make you popular and that this has only
upsides, but they aren't right.

If you "create" something instead of becoming popular for what you think,
hate, like, adore etc. then you really make a difference in your life and
especially in the life of other people.

We're speaking about a developer/manager career, no a political career, keep
that in mind. (As a politician for example you're allowed to be a hypocrite as
long as you can defend yourself with arguments.)

And if you notice that the time you invest in formulating arguments isn't
respected, you're practically argueing in the wrong channel, with the wrong
people or about the wrong topic.

~~~
websitescenes
Thanks, very sobering. I am struggling with this recently. I have been trying
to make people like me online and its been a losing battle. I believe you are
correct about your suggestions. I am going to abandon my quest for recognition
and do things help people instead. That is such a better use of time, yet it
never occurred to me as plainly as you put it. Thank you

~~~
kls
You can't make people like you, but you can be a likeable person, the way that
you do that is to serve people. Help them better themselves and in the process
you better yourself. You learn valuable skills like patients and empathy both
go a long way and people see them in your actions. When people know you are a
genuinely good person not acting in self interests they are more likely to
genuinely like you both on and off line. The original poster is right, the
quest for karma or any other recognition is a self serving quest, the fruits
of which are always tasteless and unrewarding because they are a quest for
acceptance hidden behind a trinket. Once you receive the trinket the
acceptance for that act is gone and you are left in the same state you where
before that. It's akin to a drug and it can become addictive, because it is
not permanent, the high of momentary acceptance fades and you are back on the
treadmill. Now if you contrast this with genuinely improving someone's life
then every time you see the person you have helped in a better state you see
the trophies of your accomplishments and is far more rewarding.

~~~
X4
_Just in case it 's not clear enough, @kls doesn't mean attributing one's life
to someone else or someone specific, it can easily be mistaken for that. There
would be enough people who'd love to profit from such naivety in that matter._

~~~
kls
Absolutely I am not suggesting being a door mat to people who would look to
exploit you, or putting all your self worth into something external, helping
to improve others is an internal quest, to perfect oneself. That being said,
being kind to others and generous to others and the ones that reciprocate are
people you want to help because they are the type of people that view the
world as water lifts all boats and do not have the mentality of someone has to
loose for them to win.

