

Conflict resolution 101 for startups - SteliE
http://blog.close.io/conflict-resolution-101-for-startups

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spodek
The HN community is quick to attack MBAs, but when my first startup was in
trouble, the founders weren't communicating, and Board members were yelling at
each other, the conflict resolution skills of one board member, a business
school professor, may have helped the situation more than anything else. His
skills were a major motivation for me to go to business school, where I
learned many relevant skills -- negotiation, general management, leadership,
etc.

I now consider conflict management and resolution skills among the most
important in making relationships endure and critically important for business
leadership.

From one of my blog posts, "How to make relationships last":

I consider the main skills in resolving conflict

\- Listening to others’ issues to understand them

\- Making them feel understood

\- Supporting them for their beliefs without judgment, even if you don’t agree
or support their beliefs (not the distinction between supporting someone
versus supporting their beliefs)

\- Communicating your issues without blaming

\- Maintaining calm

\- Patience

\- After all those, regular problem-solving skills

Develop those skills and you’ll be able to make relationships last longer by
instilling loyalty.

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axanoeychron
I have a question regarding the type and amount of conflict between different
organisations. I ask this because the kinds of issues in this article seem
like common courtesy and respect to me.

What kind and how severe is the conflict at traditionally professional
occupations such as legal professions, accountancy or medical? Does anyone
have any first hand experience? What about industry? (chemical engineering,
mechanical engineering and civil architects?)

How does it compare to tech startups?

My theory: 1) conflict in traditional industry is power struggle: who is the
one who will tell everyone else what to do 2) office politics can get severe
where there are alliances and empires 3) offence is caused by making other
people's decisions look bad

In startups: 1) conflict is based on the perceived competence of others 2)
offence is caused by the implied lack of knowledge, direct derision and
ridicule

I believe that one is more common than the other. I'm saying that conflict in
the technical community feels more like a frat competition than that of
professional negotiation: young people not necessary secure in themselves.

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socrates1998
While I agree with most of these points, I wish it were this simple.

The biggest problems are the VERY important issues people strongly disagree
on.

These are the ones people end up leaving the company over.

It's usually not "You forgot to make coffee everyday." It's "You think we
should price our product at $10 and I think it should be $100"

That is major problem that doesn't get resolved.

I think conflict resolution should be about making sure you are on the same
page for the big stuff and then being able to laugh about the little stuff.

Still, it was a good post, something founders should think about.

~~~
SteliE
I appreciate the feedback but honestly disagree with you here.

In my experience conflict never escalades because of facts or differences of
opinion/approach but almost always because people get too "attached" to their
ideas/approach/solution and can't differentiate or argue based on pure facts
but get emotional and later "religious" about their side.

One of the Heroku founders once said something to the effect of "We like
people that hold their strong opinions loosely"

I loved that quote. It means that you want to have people with strong opinions
in startups but not people that hold on to their opinions too strongly and are
not open to sometimes trying someone else's approach in the name of progress.

------
tomblomfield
I wonder what the time-frame is for pg's observation that 20% of founders
leave. During the 3 month YC period? Or ever?

~~~
RKoutnik
It sounds like it's ever. I know he's mentioned overfunding as one of the
primary wedge drivers into already-shaky teams, so that's post-YC.

