

The Secret to Raising Smart Kids - dmoney
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=the-secret-to-raising-smart-kids

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iigs
I was always told I was smart when I was a kid, and very little focus was put
on seeing things through or being a hard worker (other than conceptually).

Anecdote in support of the article's hypothesis: I'm blabbing about myself
instead of working on a cool idea I had this morning. Sigh.

~~~
qaexl
I was always told I was smart too ... and compared to my sister -- look at how
hard she works! (I found out as an adult that she was always compared to me --
look at your brother, he is really smart! Now isn't that screwed up?). I was
also exposed to enough kung-fu movies as a kid. You _never_ see the "this guy
has kung-fu because he is talented/lucky/athletic", and you always see "this
guy has kung-fu because he perservered in his training". "Kung-fu" doesn't
mean "generic martial arts", the way it is used in America. It means "skill
accumulated over time". Even though there are American cultural overlays on
top of the movies, Kung-fu Panda and Forbidden Kingdom, this "kung-fu"
cultural value shines through. In each, the main characters has no kung, has
no fu, and ends up with some.

My habit of procastination comes directly from "being smart". I've been able
to do well on tests because during the test, I get this intense focus to do
well within a time limit. Doing things at the last minute gave me the same
kind of rush. If I did well, it validated that part of the ego. I was even
aware of it, felt a bit silly, and went ahead and did it anyways.

I did find some ways to retrain this. I still procastinate, but I've been
managing to get coding done -- I'm applying to YC Winter '09 with a prototype
I've got up live two weeks ago. Here are some of the things I've tried:

(1) The most difficult part was taking action after making a decision. This is
probably the biggest block ... you can _think_ that you need to retrain your
mind, or to get a "growth mindset", and your mind has been trained to think
that as long as you think it, everything is OK. It isn't. As lame as it
sounds, some of Anthony Robbin's "Personal Power" tapes work well. You start
by doing some little things that you've been putting off, anything from taking
out the garbage to even downloading the tools you need to get started on
writing a prototype. The key is taking the action as soon as you instantiate
the decision. The more you do that, the more your mind gets used to it.

(2) "Invest in loss". This is something that a martial arts teacher (Cheng-man
Ching) said often. As it applies to fixed mind-set vs. growth mind-set, it
means assuming that you already suck going into something. Over the past four
or five years, my friends and I invite people out to our training group. We
see a lot of newbies. No matter how physically talented you are, without
training, you suck. There is no beginner's luck. Having some experience, I can
feel when people get agitated by their suckage. They don't want to play
anymore because it violates their image of themselves.

It takes some work, but it is doable -- you can learn to be comfortable with
the uncomfortable feeling that you are not very skilled. It doesn't require
you to go to some sort of martial arts bootcamp, it does require you to get
your body moving ... which comes back to the first thing about taking action
after making a decision.

(3) There are times when I get stuck during coding. Sometimes I need to
refactor something, but I really don't want to do it. Sometimes I come across
a choice between two architectural decisions. My habit is to stare at the
screen trying to figure out the best way to proceed forward. I've noticed that
it easily leads to distractions.

One of the key thing that appears in all forms of martial arts and fighting
systems is the idea of slipping off the line of attack. Mentally, when I come
up against a challenge, it feels like an obstacle in front of me. I want to go
forward, but this annoying issue keeps coming up. I stop being able to see the
vision -- that sense of awesomeness of the overall idea -- and trying to beat
my way through it is painful. Even with the idea of "try harder", it is
painful. What you want to do is slip off to the side, like dodging in side-
scroller while continuing to go forward.

One way particular to my own martial arts training is to walk around in a
circle while thinking of the problem domain, and then changing direction and
going the opposite way. It is weird, but it always makes me feel confident
enough to keep working, albeit from a different direction.

(4) Meditation. A simple practice of breathing and awareness. There's not much
to it, but it clears the mind of baggage so you can move forward.

(5) Josh Waitzkin's book, Art of Learning has a lot more tips.

~~~
13ren
That explains why I love the training sections of kung fu movies so much.

 _achievement through great effort_
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kung_fu_>(term)

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martythemaniak
One of the reasons why, looking back, I appreciate going to engineering at
UofT, which is very academically focused. I was taken several notches down
from being a 'smart kid' in HS to 'average' in Uni, which I noticed was due to
my work ethic, since I wasn't significantly smarter or dumber than most
people.

One of the things I remember from the very beginning of first year is
professors saying how engineering was good because after 4 years you'd learn
enough to get a junior position and actually start learning. I thought they
were just screwing with us frosh, but after 4 tough years, I saw how right
they were and I realized that I really learned two things:

1) how to learn

2) that I know nothing.

In addition to the work and learning over innate smarts mindset, it is also
good to know what kind of environment you need to actually learn and excel.
Some people might have enough curiosity and work ethic to learn and do a lot
while left to their own devices, whereas other people might need to be an
environment where they're being pushed.

~~~
scott_s
The best thing that happened to me in college was almost failing a freshmen
physics test, despite having felt I was prepared for it. After getting that
grade, I worked nonstop nearly every waking moment.

I ended up getting an A- in the class, even though that test was at least 15%
of the final grade. More importantly, I learned that if I want to do well, I
needed to work hard.

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derefr
I agree with the kid.

School is supposed to teach you things. The important part is _whether you
learn those things_ , not whether you are willing to demonstrate repeatedly,
ad nauseam that you have already (and usually long ago) learned those things.
I was the kid in the example; I excelled on tests, and continue to, through a
combination of basic common sense and having actuallyunderstood the subject
matter, and found my own uses for it, outside of the curriculum.

When you can understand, and apply, concepts just by reading the textbook (or
the appropriate Wikipedia article), this obviates the need for both teachers,
lessons and homework. Those in power like that even less than the teachers
themselves, and created the No Child Left Ahead act to "fix" this.

~~~
swombat
Actually, you seem to disagree with Jonathan. From TFA:

 _As we had predicted, the students with a growth mind-set felt that learning
was a more important goal in school than getting good grades. In addition,
they held hard work in high regard, believing that the more you labored at
something, the better you would become at it. They understood that even
geniuses have to work hard for their great accomplishments. Confronted by a
setback such as a disappointing test grade, students with a growth mind-set
said they would study harder or try a different strategy for mastering the
material._

 _The students who held a fixed mind-set, however, were concerned about
looking smart with little regard for learning. They had negative views of
effort, believing that having to work hard at something was a sign of low
ability. They thought that a person with talent or intelligence did not need
to work hard to do well. Attributing a bad grade to their own lack of ability,
those with a fixed mind-set said that they would study less in the future, try
never to take that subject again and consider cheating on future tests._

~~~
derefr
Odd; I suppose I'm of neither of those mindsets particularly. I studied when I
was bad at something, but I _didn't_ study, and in fact specifically
underachieved, when I already was sure (through practical usage) of my own
knowledge in the subject. I suppose I'm of the growth mindset, but just really
lazy.

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swombat
Totally agree on the growth mindset.

"Live like you were going to die tomorrow.

Learn like you were going to live forever."

~~~
IsaacSchlueter
It's deeply irrational to live like you're going to die tomorrow unless you
actually are.

If you have a bunch of money in stocks and savings, and no dependents, and you
are going to die tomorrow, then it's rational to cash that all out and spend
it in the most pleasurable way you can. (Or, if possible, spend it on figuring
out a way out of my 24-hour countdown predicament!)

The "die tomorrow" applause light has got to be put out. Please. It's just a
silly thing to say. It's not death that makes life special; it's life that
makes death tragic.

~~~
qaexl
"If you have a bunch of money in stocks and savings, and no dependents, and
you are going to die tomorrow, then it's rational to cash that all out and
spend it in the most pleasurable way you can. (Or, if possible, spend it on
figuring out a way out of my 24-hour countdown predicament!)"

That isn't any more rational than assuming that you're going to die tomorrow
or live forever. Those are simply choices, rational or not.

Life is a part of death, death is a part of life. Breathing in means breathing
out. Eating food means taking a dump. Being born means growing old. Imagining
that you're going to die tomorrow isn't meant to make your life more special.
It is used to invoke fear of death which in turns focuses you on the here-and-
now (usually by triggering andrenaline). If you can become present in the
moment without invoking fear of death, then by all means do so. Presence of
mind lets you act powerfully; even mindless people react to someone with a
powerful presence (>cough<Steve Jobs>cough<). It is worth cultivating and
learning how to trigger at-will.

It is not "silly".

------
jlhamilton
<http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=84655>

~~~
terpua
I missed the first post so this is a worthwhile re-post.

~~~
DabAsteroid
_I missed the first post_

<http://www.google.com/search?q=site%3Anews.ycombinator.com>

~~~
PieSquared
I don't tend to Google for articles and sites I don't know exist.

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MikeCapone
Yes, Dweck's work is pretty cool.

I wrote something (with a cool graph by Holmes) about this a while ago:

[http://michaelgr.com/2007/04/15/fixed-mindset-vs-growth-
mind...](http://michaelgr.com/2007/04/15/fixed-mindset-vs-growth-mindset-
which-one-are-you/)

Still gets the most hits on my site after over a year..

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huherto
I have already seen this post before. I am glad it was re posted since every
time I ready it, it allows me to reflect on this.

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jhayes
[http://www.metafilter.com/58583/Youre-so-smart-you-
probably-...](http://www.metafilter.com/58583/Youre-so-smart-you-probably-
think-this-post-is-about-you)

Similar story by same author with some interesting comments from the blue.

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jgamman
article mentions 'learned helplessness'. read Singer's 'Writings on an Ethical
Life' for some background on this or have a look at a Google search result -
<http://www.nybooks.com/articles/2768> Basically, random electrical shocks to
dogs induce a state of 'learned helplessness' or in everyday speak - complete
pyschological collapse during a particularly cruel expt.

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jamiequint
This was also in New York Magazine and posted here quite a while ago. Great
article though.

