

Book Review: How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Londes) - ErrantX

As my last little review (of Risk: The Science and Politics of Fear) went down very well and several people commented that it would be nice to see more of the same here's another go :) This is the first book since then that has really seemed to be HN material (still finishing off "Snowball", the Warren Buffet biography - man it's long!). It's a neat book called "How to Talk to Anyone" by Leil Londes (as an aside the writer is female in case the gender of the name is bugging you too :D)<p>The tag line to this book is "92 little tricks for big success in relationships"; and that's pretty much what it is. In essence it is "hacking" your social interactions - or perhaps tweaking them is a better word.<p>If you had to sum it up in one go it is basically lots of tips about speech, language, stance, body language etc. to be used when chatting to people. The tips aren't actually "short" either (this is not a pocket book type of thing) but rich in lots of detail (though they are summed up into a single boxed out paragraph at the end of chapters for easy reference). Just flicking through those can be useful. best of all she assigns each one a "fun" name which makes it a bit easier to remember them (well, for me anyway)<p>Now, applications. This  was on my reading list becase I am currently interested in body language and social interaction (and how to improve it) inspired by the 30days social sky diving another HNer has been posting about. The most obvious use that strikes you is socialising with the opposite sex (and quite a few of the chapters of focused on the idea of "seduction") - something I guess the stereotype says some of us HN peeps need help with. The beauty is a lot of the tips are (is?) tweaks everyone could use (no matter what your current level of social interactivity).<p>While the opposite sex examples are those generally used throughout the book all of the tips apply to any social interaction; one way it's helped me (and I see this as the main relevance for HN) is in my work relations. A lot of the tweaks are about coming across more trustworthy and with more value. Since adopting some of the ideas I have noticed slightly better relationships with current and new clients.<p>I freely admit not all the tips are useful. And some are things you could probably work out in 10 seconds on your own - but it is facsinating to see it all really explained by an expert in social interaction. If nothing else it has opened my eyes to the fact that we respond to each other in so many different and tiny ways - I think that more than any specific tweak has been most beneficial.<p>In a sentence; This book can help you understand, hack, tweak and improve your interactions socially and in the workplace - possibly giving you the edge in important business situations.<p>(on a related note I have "What Every Body is Saying", a book on body language, by Joe Navarro lined up next - looks like a good read along the same lines).
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yan
Have you attempted to take advice and apply it to your daily interactions?
Thoughts or comments?

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ErrantX
yeh. As i said the main thing I took away was a heightened awareness of these
little "tics" people employ naturally.

It also means I actively remember to smile widely now.

Eye contact is a big thing in the book: I usually maintain strong eye contact
anyway but this has encouraged me to push that further - with mixed results.
I've found that it works better socially than it does at work :)

Im also actively trying to use more positive language when chatting to people.
That's hard to do but it seems to be effective as well. i did a lot of work on
my language and body language a few years ago because I was having trouble
interacting with people so possibly Im not seeing as many benefits as someone
who hasn't ever needed to look at this stuff before. i think for that type of
person it will be the most benefit - even if it is just a couple of tips to
use when chatting up clients.

As I said it is sort of simple stuff: the value, I feel, is in how it is
broken down and discusses the "why".

