
Ridiculous Small-Business Plan Encouraged By Friends - rms
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39174
======
vlad
Had this been a real front page article in New York Times or LA Times, she
would have other newspaper and television companies contacting her to feature
her story. She would also easily have enough orders to reach $100,000 in the
first year. There are a lot of very, very rich people with dogs who would be
in the market for this for novelty as well as health reasons.

And since she's making them by hand, she could customize each order with the
owner's suggestions about what their dog likes.

For satire, it could be written better, without the "terrible idea" or "ill-
conceived" remarks made by the author. There are a lot of stupid, low-volume
ideas like this that aren't well-thought through and are just done almost as a
hobby, without a business plan or addressing scalability, that can generate
full-time income after a big media story about it. Sometimes the novelty of an
idea, and reliance on one person, actually gives the person a "moat" and a
small niche, both of which make it hard for big established companies to
compete, as well as the credibility from having been the first person to get
major press coverage about it.

Starting in Montana could also be smart, since it's a mail order business and
she can likely get her ingredients much cheaper there, even though most of her
big ticket customers would be in big cities across the US.

If this somehow didn't generate enough sales, she could use her new-found
expertise as a "nationally-known dog chef" and work for somebody rich like
Donald Trump, or even release products under the Donald Trump name.

The reason she would be an expert, by the way, is because by working on
something full-time, even if she ends up making less money than expected, she
would have become skilled and recognized as an expert, rather than a 2nd shift
clerk at a store, or any other job you she have held before.

------
rhiltd
I was studying marketing when the 'super premium pet food' segment was
invented. The idea that dog and cat were prepared to paid $US 3 per 4oz can of
food was amazing.

At the time the best steak or fish was about $7 /lb

This could be a multimillion dollar company.

~~~
coglethorpe
<http://www.google.com/search?q=gourmet+dog+biscuits>

About 350,000 results!

Not all ideas are bad, just because they didn't follow an MBA's market
research. The guy that invented the super soaker came up with the idea while
doing some plumbing in his bathroom. It took him years of determination to see
it to success -- it's those years of determination that make the difference.

------
bayareaguy
_There's a huge untapped market for high-end dog treats made with natural
ingredients, and I'm getting in on the ground floor. If you don't believe me,
ask my friend Angie_

<http://www.doghousebagels.com/>

~~~
Tichy
A low carb diet for dogs - that is just sick...

~~~
yummyfajitas
Isn't a natural doggy diet just atkins supplemented by the dog's own poo?

------
SingAlong
She needs 4000% growth in sales by year end to remain in business. And I
wouldn't be surprised if it grows by 8000%. God! Look at the way Karen Sabin
speaks. The love and passion for her dream is clear in her statements. This
woman is going to make it big. And I'm sure she's soon going to be the poster-
woman of every business magazine very soon. Enormous passion! I bet she'll
even easily crush Google if there's something called Google Pet Food.

Its a treat to aspiring entrepreneurial minds to read stories of such people
with unique ideas.

Go Sabin! go!

~~~
SingAlong
Ouch! I didn't notice that the article dates back to October 29th, 2003.

@ordinaryman: thanks for pointing that out. I liked the story so much that I
had just made up my mind to make an online store for her for free once my
exams are over(I was searching the contact details of her business).

Anyways, I did some googling only to see onion and entrepreneurs.com pages
talking about her. Nothing much.

But I pray she's doing good in business. I hate to see enthusiastic people, so
passionate about their dreams, giving it up. If she's still in business I
would like to see her in the headlines soon.

~~~
silentbicycle
It's _the Onion_.

~~~
jbenz
About 8 years ago I remember reading an advice column in which the letter
writer was concerned because her child's friends were all reading Harry
Potter. She referenced this article:
[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/harry_potter_books_spar...](http://www.theonion.com/content/news/harry_potter_books_spark_rise_in)

The advice columnist was pleased to explain the purposes of _the Onion_

~~~
jcl
That particular story actually went much further than a single letter writer:

<http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/potter.asp>

And it's not the only such incident:

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion#The_Onion_taken_serio...](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion#The_Onion_taken_seriously)

------
nazgulnarsil
it's depressing that the onion correlates with reality to a higher degree than
mainstream media.

~~~
edw519
_it's depressing that the onion correlates with reality to a higher degree
than mainstream media._

That's the whole point. If the mainstream media did its job, there would be no
onion.

(Just like if the corporate world made any sense, there would be no Dilbert.)

~~~
ivankirigin
No room for parody or farce? That's plainly false.

------
Tichy
I think this could actually work. I'd say it would most probably work.

~~~
sdfx
It's not the idea per se thats bad. There are a number of stories on YC which
point to this problem: Most ideas are nothing without execution. (most recent:
<http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=237096> )

~~~
LogicHoleFlaw
Hell, I was in LA last week and saw a gourmet bakery for pets. No joke. They
seemed to be doing brisk business. Several customers went in with their pets
in the time it took me to drive by.

~~~
sah
There's one here in Truckee, CA.

~~~
timr
Seattle's version of this "ridiculous" idea: <http://www.mudbay.us/>

Mud Bay Granary isn't exactly a bakery, but it does nothing but sell
expensive, organic, gourmet pet food. It's been in Seattle for years, and
there are at least a half-dozen stores.

------
froo
As I was reading this article, it reminded me so much of a bakery specifically
for dogs I'd heard about.

<http://www.threedog.com/> \- Three Dog Bakery... 47 stores worldwide wtf?

It just goes to show, that with some niches, you can sell people pretty much
anything.

------
edw519
Make something dogs want.

~~~
steveplace
Because dogs can buy things.

~~~
pchristensen
Hey, don't knock it - pets drive almost as much spending as children do!

~~~
cstejerean
so make something dog owners want. unlike children dogs don't typically whine
until they get what they want.

~~~
pchristensen
Lots of dog owners want pampered dogs, just like lots of parents want spoiled
kids ("I want to give them all the stuff I never had...").

According to the APPMA statistics on spending("Pet Industry Statistics and
Trends"), Americans spent 34.4 billion dollars on their pets in 2004, which
means pet-related spending has doubled in the last 10 years in the US.

The APPMA's reported the following breakdown for the areas in which money is
spent on pets (2004 figures for the US)

$14.2 billion for food

$8.1 billion for supplies and OTC medications

$8.2 billion for veterinarian care

$1.6 billion for live animal purchases

$2.31 billion for other services such as grooming and boarding

[http://exoticpets.about.com/cs/resourcesgeneral/a/petstates....](http://exoticpets.about.com/cs/resourcesgeneral/a/petstates.htm)

------
steveplace
I'm a seed-stage investor in the company. You think pets.com was big? You just
wait.

------
Eliezer
Okay... on the one hand, I can see how someone could build a successful
business around this.

On the other hand, if your business idea doesn't create and capture more value
for humanity than this, I'd suggest going back to the drawing board.

Your standards may be too low, aim higher.

~~~
LogicHoleFlaw
Businesses are sometimes built on the most unlikely of ideas. Selling
tumbleweeds online, for example.

[http://thatslifeinthecity.blogspot.com/2007/11/kansas-
womans...](http://thatslifeinthecity.blogspot.com/2007/11/kansas-womans-
online-tumbleweed.html)

------
cia_plant
it's a funny headline, but the business idea seems completely plausible.

~~~
davidw
The idea seems plausible, but is it something that some random person at home
can execute on? The numbers didn't look good.

~~~
aggieben
Yes - in the article, she said she wanted to open a storefront with a bakery
about a year later, and they estimated that she would need to sell 90,000
biscuits at $1.50 each to get there.

    
    
      $ dc -e '2 k 90000 365 / p'
      246.57
    

That's a lot of biscuits to make by hand. Let's take it a step further:

    
    
      $ dc -e '2 k 245.57 12 / p'
      20.46
    

If you assume each batch of a dozen takes an hour to make, assume typical
kitchen equipment (i.e., no double oven), and assume a little pipelining, she
would barely have enough waking hours to get it done. There's no time left for
actually packaging or selling the biscuits.

~~~
jonknee
I'm guessing you never baked before, but batches aren't one dozen and you can
whip through them in short order. 240 cookies (er, biscuits) would be about 10
cycles if you have two half sheet pans. Depending on chill time (if any) you
could knock through it in a regular home oven in three hours fairly easily.
With some actual equipment and a helper, it would be half that. Bakeries make
ridiculous amounts of baked goods and still time find to sell 'em.

~~~
aggieben
_I'm guessing you never baked before..._

This discussion is already stupid. No need to make it worse.

------
wallflower
> Due in large part to the encouragement of her so-called friends, 34-year-old
> Karen Sabin quit her steady job

Friends are the ones who you want to support you, not shoot you down so you're
still on the ground with them. If your friends are silent/neutral/negative,
hang out with other hackers/entrepreneurs (join/start a group in your locale).

------
biohacker42
The Onion, too real: <http://www.doghousekitchen.com/>

------
Mistone
the problem is not the idea - pets are a huge market.

Through out the story (fake or not), her freinds kept encourage her to do
wrong things, she should have started smaller, not quite her job until she got
a solid amoutn of order, this is a web/ecomerce business and getting a store
front would be the second this I would do after the web and whole sale
business was rolling.

Also the name of the product is horrible: "Grandma Sabin's Low-Fat Biscuits
For Particularly Finicky Dogs,"

way too long, and "Particularly Finicky" - how about: Grandma Sabin's Gourmet
Big Biscuits. All Natural, Low Fat Delicious Dog Biscuits.

------
rapind
Now if she offered Gerber 2% of her equity to build a platform for her
business...

------
greyman
Great work Onion, brilliant parody. But the business idea itself is not that
bad.

------
unintuitive
I actually know someone who quit his job so he could work on his natural dog
food business full-time.

Last I heard, he was doing well.

------
zelenoto
Taking in mind there are people buying diapers for their dogs, I don't see why
such an idea wouldn't work (if marketed well).

------
ordinaryman
The article dates back to Oct 2003. The outcome of the venture should already
be known.

~~~
silentbicycle
It's _the Onion_.

------
sophist
No. No no no no no no. Please no Onion on the Hacker News front page.

