
HH Dalai Lama: Countering Stress and Depression - rblion
http://www.dalailama.com/messages/articles/counter-stress
======
henryw
I really like this message. It has a lot of similarities to a life-changing
(for me) audiobook that I recently finished (Brian Tracy's The Psychology of
Achievement).

Here's a short summary:

If the situation [can be remedied], then there is no need to worry about it.
... The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more
sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying
about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution ... then there is
also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about
it anyway.

If you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion,
and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work ... and function more
effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or
whether you ultimately will be successful in reaching your goal. Even if you
fail to achieve your goal, you can feel good about having made the effort. But
with a bad motivation, people can praise you or you can achieve goals, but you
still will not be happy.

[In order to not be overwhelmed by the difficulties,] it is vital that we make
every effort to find a way of lifting our spirits. We can do this by
recollecting our good fortune.

[Negative thoughts and emotions - such as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed,
envy] are thus the cause of our destructive behaviour both toward others and
to ourselves.

There are many methods [to train the mind] ... It is this pattern of thought
[focus on turning adversity to advantage].

... one of the mind’s most marvellous qualities is that it can be
transformed... [Those who attempt to transform their minds] will become more
disciplined and positive.

~~~
tomjen3
The problem with the no reason to worry argument is that it is not my logical
brain that worries - it's the lower emotional parts of my brain, which is
sadly not going to be persuaded by logic.

~~~
Deadsunrise
that's why you should train your mind constantly (meditation basically means
mind training) to not let your emotional parts take over the logical brain in
an obsessive way.

The problem is not having a negative emotional thought, but obsessing over it
and letting it overpower the other thoughts you have.

Most of the time the negative thoughts are just imaginations, histories that
our mind creates and makes real. For example; it's late at night, your
daughter or girlfriend hasn't returned home yet and their phone is off. You
start to imagine the worst scenarios (accident, rape, cheating, whatever..)
and your mind is stupid enough that it starts to believe them and making those
scenarios real. You start to get worried, then anxious, then angry at them for
not thinking of you and how worried you are. Maybe you are really angry when
they get home and scream at them just to discover that they have been
somewhere safe all night and just ran out of battery.

Being able to realize that those scenarios are just creations of your mind and
snapping out of the obsessive loop of thoughts it's one of the most important
things you can learn in life.

~~~
crazydiamond
> Being able to realize that those scenarios are just creations of your mind
> and snapping out of the obsessive loop of thoughts it's one of the most
> important things you can learn in life.

Great. I'd like to add that even the person/individual or "I" is a creation of
the mind, that upon observation melts away. This in my experience has been the
single most important "event" in "my" life (the "my" itself not having any
tangible meaning).

The key: mindfulness, or coming back to the present moment over and over again
till silence becomes natural.

~~~
andrewingram
I'm learning about mindfullness for trying to beat my depression. I
experienced a few days of utter relaxation out of the blue before christmas,
so I know that it's a real thing that can be achieved.

I'm hoping that a combination of anti-depressants and learning to live in
moment will be what allows me to finally beat this.

Edit: Thanks for the reading suggestions, I'll try them out and see what
sticks :)

~~~
crazydiamond
If you are in depression, do continue your regular treatment and anti-
depressants till the docs allow you to stop. Once you are treated, then
mindfulness/ being in the Now, can move you to happiness and freedom. I say
this because no one (I've read) has said this cures depression. And the root
of depression can be bio-chemical. However, in the long run, you would give up
medication (hopefully in a year), and then the "present moment" is the key.
The beauty is that is becomes easy and natural after a while. If you've
suffered (been unhappy) then you have the motivation not to give up, to take
this through to completion.

Go through Eckhart Tolle and Mooji (on youtube). "Power of Now" is good. Start
this moment.

~~~
andrewingram
Thanks for the advice.

I've recently restarted on anti-depressants. I was on them previously and
didn't realise they were helping because the effect was quite passive, I came
off them suddenly when I moved house and the next few months went... badly.
Luckily I don't suffer any bad side-effects from the one I'm on, so I don't
have a problem with trying it long-term.

I'm interested in mindfullness and CBT because I want more constructive
thought patterns to allow me to stop it getting so bad again in the future.

Will take a look at those videos.

~~~
crazydiamond
The problem with medication long-term is that it may keep you in a drowsy
state and not allow you to be alert and aware. If the medication is
stimulating (like coffee), then it can result in too many thoughts so that the
silence is not experienced.

Anyway, that's your call. Getting out of depression is the most important
thing first. Keep practicing being in the present moment, and staying alert
and thought-free as much as possible _alongside_.

------
dalore
> If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is
> no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way
> out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The
> appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible
> to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about
> the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of
> resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because
> you cannot do anything about it anyway.

This is all well and good, but what if you don't know there is a solution.
Only "worrying"/thinking about it will you know if you can find one. And then
the solution itself might be difficult to reach or people disagree with your
solution etc leading to stress.

------
mcantor
It would be so cool if the Dalai Lama posted on Hacker News.

Just sayin'.

------
maeon3
Don't let your surroundings determine your mental state. The guys who survived
the concentration camps in Germany were the ones who had found peace, meaning
and value in their lives even in the worst condition imaginable. Practice
being happy for no other reason then choosing to be happy. I'll add years to
your life.

~~~
foljs
Who said that? Memoirs from survivors suggest that (as one would expect) the
experience left them scarred for the rest of their lives.

~~~
michael_dorfman
Some. Memoirs from _some_ survivors suggest that. Memoirs from other survivors
suggest otherwise. The long-term response to the trauma varied, widely.

~~~
foljs
Point to the memoirs from survivors that suggest otherwise...

~~~
michael_dorfman
Frankl is the canonical example. But also telling is the portion of
Spiegelman's "Maus" which tells of his release from Auschwitz, entitled "And
now my troubles began..."

~~~
kingkawn
Spiegelman's father, not him. Downvote all you want, but trying to find the
positive side of of concentration camps, trying to find why you're world view
is validated by anecdotes from those experiences, its really lame.

~~~
michael_dorfman
I know it is Spiegelman's father: it is a memoir of Spiegelman Sr's
experiences, as told to Spiegelman, but that's neither here nor there.

The point is not that anyone is trying to find the _positive side of
concentration camps_ , as if such a thing existed. The point is that some
people managed to keep their spirits intact, and, in the words of the poster
above, find _peace, meaning and value in their lives even in the worst
condition imaginable._

Is it lame to remember that even when we can't control our external
circumstances, we still have some ability to control our response to those
circumstances?

------
foljs
Yes, if I had devout followers and full financial support and security myself,
not to mention hollywood friends, I would not have much stress too...

~~~
andrewingram
If I had all those things, I would still stress. Primarily due to a feeling
that I don't deserve what I have.

Just because the message comes from someone in a position of authority, it
doesn't make it any less valid.

~~~
foljs
Well, if you were a self-entitled jackass like DL, you wouldn't.

(Let the politically correct downvoting begin...)

~~~
Cushman
Ad hominem aside, it's been well documented that wealth and success don't make
people happy, but there's a lot of evidence (and more coming out every day)
that mindfulness and self-awareness actually _do_.

Your cynicism does you a disservice here.

