
The Benefits of Talking to Yourself - georgecmu
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/08/smarter-living/benefits-of-talking-to-yourself-self-talk.html
======
gregmac
This made me think of rubber duck problem solving [1][2], though it didn't
mention it specifically. Talking through a problem out loud forces you to
structure your thoughts in a logical way, and sometimes doing that you'll
realize an obvious connection or step you missed.

[1]
[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging)

[2]
[http://hwrnmnbsol.livejournal.com/148664.html](http://hwrnmnbsol.livejournal.com/148664.html)

~~~
__jal
For me, it isn't even vocalizing - I discovered that forcing things into words
helps me troubleshoot after noticing that I solved my own problems after
giving up and composing an email to someone to ask for help. The act of
describing the problem in written form allowed me to see what I was missing.

Since noticing that, I started doing it fairly, and not just with programming.
At some point, I realized I was keeping a (somewhat oddly structured) journal.

~~~
wjdp
When writing SO questions I tend to only press the submit button 5–10% of the
time before realising my error (typically something mundane). The act of
putting the problem into words, along with writing up a good background of the
problem (as you should for a good question) often forces an objective
viewpoint/reevaluation of the problem.

~~~
chucksmash
Very much this. The flow for me goes:

1) I don't understand that. Let me ask StackOverflow.

2) I'm having trouble phrasing my question properly. What do you call $X?
Googling ensues

3) Oh nevermind, I get it now <closes tab>

~~~
piracyde25
Damn. I thought I was the only one who does this :'D

On a serious note, this effect can be applied to our everyday problem as well.
Such as when you are feeling lethargic, you'd want to write down all of your
thoughts in a list to see the bigger picture and figure out how simple it can
be to finish a task at hand.

~~~
TeMPOraL
s/lethargic/anxious/, and I do this all the time! Doing a quick mind dump
usually clears out my anxiety, or at least reduces it to a manageable level,
allowing me to continue doing things.

~~~
reificator
You should check out the book "Getting Things Done", which is based on taking
what you described and using it to stay organized and adaptable. If you've got
anxiety it would probably help at least a little bit.

------
redcap
Japanese train drivers have a system that's called Pointing and Calling

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pointing_and_calling](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pointing_and_calling)

[http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/pointing-and-calling-
ja...](http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/pointing-and-calling-japan-trains)

Visual and audio feedback is great for your brain.

For me, I often need to make a 200mL bottle for my child, and each scoop of
powder makes only 20mL - meaning that I need to put 10 scoops in. Especially
when I have a crying baby it's easy to lose track when you count in your head.
But no worries if I vocalize my count.

~~~
CarVac
Or if you put it on a kitchen scale...

~~~
braveo
especially since companies are notorious for making the scoops bigger than
expected so you go through product quicker.

~~~
LeifCarrotson
Source? I have not heard of this. Our nurse emphasized that while a child is
on formula, that's really all they consume for both nutrition and hydration,
so it needs to be balanced per manufacturer guidelines. They don't have a way
to signal "I thirsty" or "My tiny stomach is full of watery stuff but my blood
sugar is still low". Their digestive and urinary systems are pretty amazing,
but habitually using too much or too little (wrong scoop, wrong ratio, packing
it dense) can be unhealthy.

~~~
braveo
I don't really have a source, but it's common with protein powders.

They'll list 28 grams as a serving size with a scoop that has a line in it
about 3/4 of the way up that represents 28 grams. Technically not misleading,
but it's absolutely reasonable that people would assume 1 scoop = 1 serving
size. The end result is that people go through more product.

If you watch professional bodybuilders who have to be very exacting about
their intake, you'll see them tell you to always measure on the scale because
you can't trust the scoop.

~~~
LeifCarrotson
Oh. Our infant formula powder is a full scoop. I can see how the two
industries might be rather different!

------
Simulacra
A perspective from the political world: When I arrived as a junior staffer on
Capitol Hill, I noticed the lower you were on the totem pole, the more you
walked with your head held up. The more seniority you gained, the more you
walked with your head down, to avoid talking to other people. Chiefs of Staff
would walk quickly, looking at the floor. Interns and Staff Assistants walked
proudly with their heads held high.

I also found this trick worked very well if I wanted to go places I wasn't
supposed to be. Just pull out my blackberry, pretend to be engrossed in
something important, powerwalk, and I could go just about anywhere
unchallenged.

~~~
thefalcon
Walking with a purpose will get you all kinds of places without well enforced
security procedures in place.

~~~
Simulacra
My theory is that Capitol Police are loath to stop someone out of fear it
might be some 25 year old Chief of Staff; most of the people who make the laws
of this country tend to be between the ages of 22 and 30.

------
alistproducer2
I grew up an only child and so in absence of anyone else, I learned to talk to
myself instead. I naturally have a busy mind and over the years I've found
that getting a thought out of my head is the quickest way to get it out of the
way.

I've had anxiety issues over the years. One day I was feeling a bit anxious
and suddenly the idea came over me to just try to shut off my inner voice -
completely. I focused on trying to silence it and suddenly, once it was quiet,
my nerves completely melted away. It was amazing. For the next few days I
tried to continue my "quiet mind" exercises. It got to the point where I began
to wonder if something was wrong with me. The silence became deafening. Scared
I might've broken something in my mind I gave up quiet mind but it was
incredibly effective against my anxiety.

Now I try and be more balanced in how much I talk to myself and how much I let
the voice in my head narrate the world.

~~~
MichaelGG
How did you shut off your inner voice? I went on a multi-day, complete-silence
(no talking, reading, etc.) retreat to meditate and found I wasn't much closer
to shutting off the internal voice or flood of random thoughts.

~~~
Baeocystin
Not the person you asked, but I do have practice at this skill.

And it is a skill. I also have a highly-active internal thoughtstream, and it
can cause me significant stress if I don't control it. In my case, it isn't a
verbal dialogue, but rather the thoughts that swim around one level below.
Busy nonetheless.

The only thing that works for me is to _not_ fight it. If I attempt to resist
the flow, it only amplifies the pressure, akin to pressing your thumb over the
garden hose. Much of the stress of these thoughts comes not from the thoughts
themselves, but the urge that feels like you must hold and analyze them all
before moving on.

Rather, concentrate on letting it pass by, acknowledging it as it flows
downstream, without reaching out to hold on. Visualizing yourself sitting
calmly near a rapidly flowing creek. Imagine the strength of the flow slowing
over time. _Let go of the worry of the uncompleted thought_ \- tell yourself
that if it is truly worth considering, it will flow back around again in time.
Smile to yourself as the thoughts wash through you, appreciating their
fleeting nature. After a short amount of time, minutes at most, you will find
the strength of the torrent ebbing. It will not cease, but the trickle that
remains is much easier to cope with. Ten minutes of this, and you will find
yourself mentally refreshed, and ready to get on with things.

This, of course, is not a cure-all, and if you expect it to work every time,
you will be disappointed. But it does become easier with practice, and in my
case, at least, it genuinely helps.

~~~
djsumdog
There are two schools of thought in meditation that kinda apply to this. Some
people focus on their breath or a mantra or hum and try to keep thoughts from
getting in. If a though appears, just label it and let it pass.

Others do what you're describing, let the thoughts come but see them as just
passing clouds in the sky. Eventually you distance yourself from that stream
of consciousness and can focus just on your breath.

The two are not mutually exclusive either.

~~~
Baeocystin
Indeed. There are many ways to the same goal. Much of practice is simply
discovering what works best for you.

------
shubhamjain
But my kind of self-talk can't be easily bucketed in either "instructional" or
"motivational". I usually have elaborate scenarios playing in mind that have
nothing to do with the current context. I imagine myself being a motivational
speaker, or giving a big interview, or cold approaching a woman, and blurt
words that I would say—sort of like an idealistic scenario where people are
responding just as I want.

Honestly, it's quite distracting and I would be surprised if there's any
visible upside. Sadly, there's no (easy) way to shut the brain down.

~~~
keerthiko
I had begun to develop this habit when I was a digital nomad in foreign
countries with no offline friends for a few years -- mostly a lack of offline
interaction resulted in my having those with myself. I can see how this
happens easily to us introvert types who don't favor a lot of in-person
contact.

I found engaging my brain more actively and feeding it more stimulus helps
control this. Something that can actively engage any possible downtime cycles
from your brain, such as playing video games. When working, I would either sit
in a cafe where people spoke the local language (that I couldn't understand)
without headphones, or listen to a foreign language radio/TV show.

Whenever I zoned out of work, I could absorb this strange input that I had to
think really hard what to do with. When I wanted to focus on work I could tune
out the stuff I couldn't understand anyway and work.

Or of course, you can try hang out with humans in person more, but I
understand that's not always preferred :)

------
rosstex
Even when I'm not actually speaking out loud, I find that my thoughts often
act very similarly: I'm usually having a conversation with myself. And I'll
try to crack myself up, or reference movie quotes, or break into a song or
dramatic monologue.

(Anyone who's upvoting this, does that mean I'm not alone or I'm insane?)

~~~
nitemice
You are not alone.

It's much easier to be your uncool self, when you're only talking to yourself.

In fact, when I was younger, I use to sometimes talk to myself like I was
monologuing to an unseen audience, like characters always seem to do on kids
shows[1].

[1]([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AsideComment](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AsideComment))

~~~
rosstex
"uncool self"

I take offense to that! But actually I'm glad to hear that :)

------
tokyokawasemi
This is also super useful for learning a second language.

I once met a dude in China without much of a noticable accent. I asked him if
he had lived abroad, to which he replied that he had never been outside the
country. He just regular talked to himself in English in his head. I'm sure
other factors contributed to his strong English, but I found this really
interesting and started trying it with Chinese (which I was studying at the
time). I discovered that talking to yourself as you go about your daily life
really helps you identify really practical words that you don't know yet. Or
even, very impractical words like "elbow" which can be embarrassing gaps in
your vocab when you reach a certain level.

~~~
redcap
One of my Japanese teachers really stressed reading out loud as good practice
- you practice reading the piece, you practice saying the words, and you get
some listening practice too.

One nice big feedback loop!

~~~
wapz
I've studied Japanese for a long time (and work in Japanese only now) and if
you want to work on pronunciation I learned to "shadow" in my Japanese class.
You watch any tv show and you repeat exactly what they say right after to get
the intonation down. It's weird at first but it's super effective due to the
difficulty of Japanese's hidden intonations.

One other thing we learned was to talk real loud with either a high or low
pitch as it helps you learn very quickly the proper pitches. I heard news
casters in either Japanese or American news casters do this.

~~~
goblin89
Working in Japanese only means you’re located in Japan? What’s your line of
work? Just curiosity.

~~~
wapz
I'm a unity developer (50% games, 50% 3d desktop programs)

------
djsumdog
I talk to myself all the time, especially when hiking or out for a walk. This
can get embarrassing when you run into another person around a turn. If you
are with your friend and talking, well you're just talking to your friend.
When it's just you .. that must be a crazy person (unless you've got a
flashing bluetooth headset or a phone in your hand I guess).

I usually get real silent and then slowly pick back up as I walk away; trying
to whisper to myself and keep my voice low in case someone else is on the
trail.

I don't think I've ever encountered someone else doing this .. except
sometimes for that crazy homeless person on the street .. and they don't
exactly stop when people walk by them.

I've started to think I'm probably one of the few people who do this, but it's
so helpful to hear my thoughts to put things into order and organize them that
it's not something I really want to stop doing.

~~~
city41
I talk to myself out loud all the time. It absolutely enables me to solve
problems better. When I have a particularly tough problem at work, I'll work
from home specifically so I can talk it out.

I also talk things out while driving alone. I used to get embarrassed that
other drivers could see me. But now a days hands free phone systems are
commonplace in cars so I just talk away :)

------
vorg
Another benefit of talking to oneself is to find out who's listening in on
your computer/phone microphone, or bugs in the apartment. By saying different
things to oneself in different locations, one can hone in which locations are
being surveilled. I discovered when I lived in Melbourne Australia and again
in China that there's plenty of people around with nothing better to do with
their time.

~~~
jaredsohn
How did you find out you were being surveilled?

~~~
vorg
The "useless idiots" involved in surveillance usually have a psychological
need to let on they're part of the action, or sometimes the puppeteers want
you to know you're being watched.

By the way, I didn't overlook adding any details in my first comment. By
"Australia and China", I meant both "democracies" and "dictatorships" are as
guilty as each other.

------
Shank
I can relate in the multi-step process part. I tend to speak out loud to stop
my thoughts from bouncing from point to point. The result is usually a more
cohesive set of steps to achieve success on something.

It makes me wonder if this is part of why journaling has mental health
benefits. Maybe the act of journaling introduces this same objectivity and
thus improves thinking about a subject? E.g., the benefits described in
Journaling about stressful events: Effects of cognitive processing and
emotional expression [0]?

[0 (Fulltext PDF)]:
[https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Philip_Ullrich/publicat...](https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Philip_Ullrich/publication/11212874_Journaling_about_stressful_events_Effects_of_cognitive_processing_and_emotional_expression/links/0fcfd5090027dd0d0a000000.pdf)

------
Eyght
If I say something out loud I usually realize much quicker if it makes sense
or not. The act of vocalizing a thought triggers a second check whether or not
I'm making a fool of myself, and quite often it turns out that I am!

~~~
lhuser123
So true. I need to remember to do that more often.

------
movedx
I like to talk out loud/to my self in a way in which I'm having a conversation
with future me who's solved the problem I'm currently going over. I talk to
key points around the problem and the solution and have a conservation about
how it worked and what it did... essentially I try and establish a theory
about what the future might look like around that problem set should I
implement solution X.

------
voidhorse
Yup. Be careful though--when you're around other people who are also trying to
focus and do their own work talking to yourself can be a very irritating
distraction to others.

~~~
sofal
This is a downside of open office plans. If I'm working on something
particularly tricky it is often better for me to work from home so that I can
wander around talking myself through the problem like some kind of insane
person.

~~~
GoToRO
You actually want to do things?! You should move fast and break things not to
actually solve them. I leave a trail of mayhem behind me... /irony.

------
Stryder
I uh..... I've always been talking to myself when I'm not talking to other
people.....

I didn't know it was unusual....

~~~
zentiggr
I don't think it's unusual at all... just not discussed much.

------
tripzilch
Regarding the "banana" example near the end of the article, it reminded me of
an essay[1] I read on Fravia+'s website Searchlores[0], about searching for
physical real-world objects. It doesn't mention to speak the name of the item
out loud, but rather to use (if possible) holding a similar or identical
object as a physical reminder:

"""Sometime it also helps to have an identical (or as similar as possible)
object in your hand: thank to this "physical reminder", the brightness and
color of the target will be more evident while searching for its brethren."""

I have tried this on occasion, and while (obviously) I can't say for sure that
did the trick, it seems like it would have a similar (or perhaps even
stronger) benefit than saying the name of the object out loud. I expect doing
both would be even better.

If the site was still alive, I'd send in an addendum to that essay about it
:-)

[0] [http://search.lores.eu/](http://search.lores.eu/) \-- An incredibly
useful resource, mainly about finding stuff online. Be mindful however it was
written for the web as it was ~15 years ago (many tricks no longer work). Also
try not to be put off by the Stallman-esque idealist rhetoric ;) RMS and
Fravia+ used to be good friends, in fact (Fravia+ has since passed away). And
like RMS, he too turned out to be prophetic/right often :)

[1]
[http://www.search.lores.eu/objects_searching.htm](http://www.search.lores.eu/objects_searching.htm)

------
Aron
I find it entirely plausible that when you hear words spoken, even if from
your own mouth, it then becomes processed by the same hardware machinery that
processes other external voices. In my case, I tend to disbelieve anything I
hear so..

------
fsiefken
my s.o. has been doing this since early childhood, it's second nature for her.
It's amazing to me that she can do it so easily and I notice that she can plan
and analyze things much better, it's like she's having a scrumm meeting with
herself. If I try to do it, it's less spontaneous. I wish I could learn it.

~~~
i336_
Pretend there's someone listening who is both unconditionally neutral about
and unconditionally interested in everything you say.

The idea is not to conceptualize an imaginary person, but to lower the
hesitancy of "but there's noone there". Trying it in an empty house may be
helpful.

I found myself pacing after a mildly stressful event a few years ago, and the
practice stuck as a way to help myself wind down. I'm not actually sure when I
started talking to myself too, I think it was around that point. I do both on
a virtually daily basis, it's how I figure many things out.

------
bruth
I have roughly 400+ voice recordings that I have taken during my commute. As a
few have stated, simply speaking out loud typically validates an idea or not
simply due to the medium.

------
look_lookatme
There are a lot of things I miss about working from home, but the biggest is
being able to get up and walk around while have conversations with myself
aloud.

------
tambourine_man
I ask my Mac to read stuff I wrote back to me out loud to help me catch
errors.

Oftentimes the reading "voice in my head" is so biased already that I overlook
mistakes or inelegant constructions.

For example, I tend to auto fill prepositions that aren't actually there while
reading, specially in a partially rewritten sentence.

When hearing someone else speak, however, the error is evident.

------
stronglikedan
One benefit that I didn't see mentioned is the ability to get somewhere
unhindered. If I need to get from point A to point B at work, and I don't have
time to be impeded by someone in the hallway, I carry a clipboard and talk to
myself. Other people are hesitant to interrupt me.

------
beilabs
My father used to say; first sign of madness was talking to yourself, second
sign of madness was replying to your conversation and the third sign....hairy
palms.

I talk to myself all the time, it's about more structuring my thoughts. I also
swear to myself all the time. Self swearing is quite frequent.

~~~
tripzilch
If you still read this three days later and care for some unsolicited (but
friendly) advice, regarding the swearing part: Consider being nicer to
yourself. I remember this one time myself, suddenly taking a second look at
what my inner voice just said (repeating it), and I was shocked, I would never
even dream of talking to another person with those nasty, hurtful words. I
remembered a reddit comment I read once: "I learned to tell that voice to f_ck
right off" (bonus: you still get to swear ;) ).

------
lopatin
> "Language provides us with this tool to gain distance from our own
> experiences when we’re reflecting on our lives. And that’s really why it’s
> useful"

True for computer languages also. One of the ideas behind Lisp is that the
language used to express ideas is a also tool for reasoning about those ideas.

------
BadassFractal
I remember Sam Harris pointing out in his book on consciousness and meditation
just how absurd it is that we regularly have conversations with ourselves.
"Hmm, I wonder where I left the keys, they must be on the kitchen table, nope,
man I'm going to be late to work again..". Who is the interlocutor? Does the
thing we're talking to already not have all of the information the speaker
has? If we saw someone have this conversation out loud we would think that
person is nuts, but we are all having that internal conversation all the time,
and think of it as perfectly normal.

For the sake of experiment I tried to avoid having an internal monologue /
dialogue but it's surprisingly difficult. I'd be curious to hear if people
have succeeded here and what that does to you. Are you still able to function
and grow as a person and a thinker without that inner chatterbox? Can you
think without vocalizing it in your head?

And yeah, interesting fact, I'm an introvert and an only child too, like some
of the other posters. I've been the only person I could regularly talk to my
entire life. I'm sure that has a huge impact on this.

~~~
jpindar
There are many times when I don't have an internal monologue. I can't imagine
what it would be like to have one all the time.

~~~
Broken_Hippo
I can't imagine _not_ having one. I don't mind having it most of the time. The
biggest problem is that during some tasks, I can't always catch what folks
say. For example, I read and write with my internal dialogue dictating the
entire time. When someone speaks and interrupts me, I often have to ask them
to repeat themselves.

In other words, it is really strong - To the point that when I first tried
meditating, I found it extremely frustrating. The instructions I had didn't
tell me what to _do_ with the inner monologue. Somehow I was supposed to
concentrate on breath without using it and I honestly couldn't figure out how
to go about such a thing. I've never really understood why folks want to be
without it.

------
charlieroth
I discovered talking to myself when I was in my first year of college. I was
in an one bedroom apartment so solidarity was very common and I often found
myself having a very clouded head. I had read about talking to yourself and
talking your way through things and I started to do it and it has worked
wonders for me and my productivity. Yeah some people may think I am crazy when
I am talking myself through a problem in public but I luckily could care less
what people think of me. Please talk to your self people. It can seriously
change your life. It changed mine :)

------
baxtr
I'm so weird. I talk to myself all day! But it really helps to structure your
thoughts. However it can be quite annonying for yourself: sometimes I can't
listen to myself no more and start working. and your environment: my wife
complains about me being nerdy, I stop then and start focusing on a good
discussion with her, which helps.

I even find myself talking to myself (in my head) when I'm with my kids
playing... which is not good at all, but I have the feeling I need the time to
think to solve problems.

------
campbelltown
Yeah, this makes sense. I talk to myself a decent amount. But not about
anything remotely constructive.

I'm a talkative person by nature and spend a lot of time alone, so I'm
guessing it's more loneliness than anything; although I'm certainly not
depressed. It's like an itch and suddenly, without realizing it, I'm having
full blown conversations with myself. I've always wondered how many of us
there were out there.

------
shusson
I wonder if there are benefits of non instructional self talk. e.g talking to
yourself in the car about nothing in particular.

~~~
tripzilch
Depends, is it nice?

------
partycoder
I think a benefit is trying to understand your thoughts/feelings are more
higher level.

However, ruminations (rambling about past events) are usually considered
harmful. Rumination is a bad habit and you should stop yourself while doing
it.

------
Swizec
When I'm working, I write out most of my mindflow into notebooks. It helps me
focus and works really really well for recovering after distractions.

------
jdorfman
Ever since taking a remote job I find myself talking out loud more than ever.
I'm glad to see there are benefits to this...

------
amelius
Serializing thoughts is inefficient. It's better to use structural sharing
between different parts of the brain :)

------
Double_a_92
Wait what? Isn't that normal? Even if you don't speak, don't you do it in your
mind?

------
adjkant
aka rubber ducking works for things other than programming

------
softprodigy
Great article!

