

Ask HN: any advice on getting started in the real world? - youngandscared

Hi everyone,
I recently graduated highschool. I was accepted to a really great university, but I'm deferring admission for a year because I got a great job in the Bay Area with a startup that I think is doing really awesome things.<p>I'm extremely lucky that everything has worked out for me the way it has, but I'm not writing this to brag. I could really use your general life advice for living on one's own and being part of a startup, because I've never done either one before.<p>Please, help me learn from your mistakes or successes.<p>Please, assume I know nothing.
======
manuscreationis
This might be an unpopular opinion, but skipping college could turn out to be
a big mistake for you. I know you say you're deferring for a year, but lets
get real: A year turns into 2 years, turns into 3 years, turns into "Well, I
just started working and never got the chance..." (More on this, later).

And I'm not saying this because I think you'll learn one particular thing at
the university (doesn't matter which) that will set your life straight, but
it's the experiences you'll have and the people you'll meet. If anything,
everything I learned in school, I pretty much taught myself. What school
provided most for me was the opportunity, and eventually the ability, to move
towards self-sufficiency in a number of areas.

If you're going to be jumping into living on your own and don't have the
chance to live with friends (If you're working near where some friends are
going to school, you could live with them, and get some of the experience
they'll have, as well as save some money and have a lot more fun), then be
aware you're about to have a hell of a lot more responsibility on your
shoulders. It sounds silly and obvious, but no boss in their right mind will
accept an answer like "Well, I can't come in today because I've kinda been
slacking on my laundry and I don't have anything to wear." One of the great
things those few years living on your own, while still in a "safe" environment
like school will teach you, is a proper respect for having to take care of
yourself, because no one else will do it, and whats expected of you ,
generally, rises gradually so that you can adjust to it as you need to.

All that said, so long as you're a bright person, able to teach yourself new
things, and have a positive attitude toward what you're doing, there isn't
much college will do for you in our field that a solid few years of life
experience won't, with some small exceptions (There is a very real and very
"heavy" academic side to what we do, and you could gain a lot of insight and
knowledge from being exposed to it, but that sort of thing isn't for
everyone).

As for the time slipping away from you - be prepared for that to happen.
Especially with start ups. Depending on how early this start up is, you could
be doing a lot of work and wearing a great deal of hats. This is not a bad
thing, but for someone young, the level of responsibility can be intoxicating.
Be careful not to lose yourself in your work, and always remember: It's just a
job.

For more on the harrowing details of how a startup can fail, read this memoir
I wrote that I shamelessly (and anonymously) plug:
<http://lookingbackaretrospective.posterous.com>

These are all my opinions - Take them at their worth and just do what you feel
is best for you.

Just don't forget to take time for yourself.

------
staunch
1\. Live below your means. Save money. Only spend money on occasional
experiences (holidays with a SO, etc). Be extreme in minimizing your cost of
living. Money in the bank + low cost of living = freedom.

2\. If you want to do your own startup don't work for other companies for long
if at all. You're liable to get yourself stuck as an employee indefinitely. Do
not wait.

3\. Learn the full stack of whatever platforms interest you, so you can build
complete products yourself. Do not become _reliant_ on a DBA, marketer,
designer, sysadmin, iOS dev, etc. Be competent at everything necessary and
expert in as many topics as possible.

4\. Find a significant other that won't force you to compromise your
ambitions, unless _you_ sincerely want to. Related: avoid pregnancy unless you
_sincerely_ want to go down that route.

5\. Live with roommates while you're < 30\. You'll save money and it forces
you to maintain a minimum level of socializing. Find good ones. Put a lock
your bedroom door anyway.

~~~
manuscreationis
All great advice

------
PonyGumbo
It can be _really_ difficult to go back to school after being in the workforce
- both financially and socially. Two thoughts:

1\. Don't take on financial obligations that will make it impossible for you
to return to school. With older coworkers, there will inevitably be social
pressure around lifestyle - clothes, maybe buying a car, having a better
apartment. It's hard to live in a dorm after you've lived like an adult for a
while.

2\. It's easier to jump into another job than it is to go back to school.
After all, you were making good money, right? And isn't the point of school to
get a good job? This is dangerous thinking. Understand that this eventually
catches up with you, and that it sucks to be the guy in his 30s or 40s who
doesn't have a degree and has to make excuses for it.

------
bigiain
Pretend you're a grownup.

Seriously. Just make sure you always _act_ like a grownup, whether anybody is
watching or not. That'll make all the other good advise others have given you
here automatic.

(And, as it turns out, that's really all "being grown up" is about…)

big

------
pkamb
If you'll have roommates, do your dishes and don't get too pissed when they
don't do theirs.

------
Mz
I am wondering if you are living alone or have roommates. I am 46 and have
never really lived alone. I got married young and had kids a lot sooner than I
intended and my adult sons still live with me, which other people often view
as "oh you poor thing" or "gosh, what a self sacrificing, devoted mom" but
they are so wrong.

I guess I am asking because of the handle you chose. Having a social network
to turn to can keep you grounded. I found it terrifying to be alone in my
early twenties when my husband was in the field, before our kids were born. I
found it much easier to deal with raising special needs kids than to deal with
living alone. If you are scared in part because you are living alone, make
finding some social connections a high priority. Or consider doing the
workaholic thing to keep busy (I suggest that in case you are very introverted
and the idea of socializing makes you shake in your boots).

Best of luck.

