
Goodbye Facebook - newsit
http://www.newsweek.com/id/183180/page/1
======
physcab
When I broke up with my girlfriend, I de-activated from Facebook. Honestly,
the experience was incredible. I felt like I had my life back. I ended up
calling my friends and talking to them instead of writing stupid wall posts. I
felt so self-aware of my free time that I actually started exercising more. I
didn't have to fear that I would get in trouble at work for not working, nor
did I have to delete inappropriate tags/pictures/comments. AND because I
wasn't stalking anyone, I actually developed a healthy relationship with my
ex.

I came back to Facebook though...eventually. My friends cried foul. I gave in.
But as my social groups dissociate and morph, I'm feeling the need to leave
again. Some things in life are just better off forgetting. You keep in touch
with the friends you want to see and those that make an actual effort back.
Poking doesn't cut it.

Thats how life should be lived. I want it back.

~~~
misterbwong
I had a similar experience in college when I cut off AIM and TV for 3 months.
I felt like I had 30 hour days-it was great. Like you said, it really helps
you distill your group of friends. You lose contact with the occasional
friends and build deeper friendships with your core group. I still don't
instant message much but TV crept back in pretty quickly.

~~~
TrevorJ
I got tired of reprogramming my remote when the batteries died and haven't had
a working one for about 2 months. I HIGHLY recommend tossing your remote, it
really helps you evaluate your TV habits. You can still watch something if you
really want to, but you have to actually plan for it and know what you want to
see (activates executive brain function) as a result I am much more likely to
simply forgo TV and do something constructive.

------
Dobbs
Is it facebook that is the problem or the use of facebook?

I log into facebook about once a week (slightly more recently but hey I'm
inbetween jobs). I check my messages respond, see if there is anything of
intrest. Beyond that the only time I respond on facebook is when I get an
email about it.

I do find facebook useful to send a message to that girl I was best friends
with in Middle School, or that dude that I hung out with in High School.

If you limit your use of facebook then it does not control your life. This
sounds more like a case of an addiction than something wrong with the platform
(though there are things wrong with the platform imho).

~~~
unalone
This. This this this.

I check Facebook a lot. Possibly too much. Partly it's because I'm in college
and it's winter and so I spend most of my time sitting in front of the
computer as-is, partly it's because I'm sure I do have a bit of an addiction
problem. But for the last 6 months I've used it with only 50 or so friends:
people who are close to me. One friend is in Argentina. Some friends are
across the country. We keep in touch and tell each other things using
Facebook. It's faster than using email, and it's less awkward than calling. (I
hate the sound of a person over the phone, and some people I just don't talk
to.)

But it doesn't turn you into a monster unless you let it. You don't have to
poke or use applications. You don't have to incessantly update your status.
Facebook doesn't force it. In fact, it punishes you a bit in that it adds
clutter to the interface.

I find it kind of sad that this is the tripe Newsweek sees fit to print
nowadays. I stopped reading their paper magazine over the summer, because I
was astonished at how, in the two years I read it, it had gone from a pretty
decent magazine to a publication interested in sensationalism and petty
stories. It seems the trend has continued.

------
coglethorpe
Note the link at the bottom of the page to share the story ... on Facebook.

~~~
raju
Found that ironic, and for "spite" used it to post to my FaceBook

------
davi
Only interesting thing about this article is that it may be part of a larger
reversal of sentiment toward Facebook by the main stream media.

But I have felt for a while that the way you share on Facebook is geared
toward kids & college students. Once you're grown up, the distinction between
colleague, friend, and boss can get much blurrier.

I want to be able share some things with old friends from childhood, and other
things with friends from work, etc.

I'm more sensitive to the fact that every email I send someone is an
imposition, and had better be worth their time, because every email I get is
yet another thing to deal with. I want a way to share things with people in a
way that isn't "push".

I think a "Facebook for grownups" site that took these ideas into account
could get a lot of traction. (Maybe such a thing already exists, but I haven't
encountered it.)

~~~
hernan7
LinkedIn?

~~~
davi
Focused on professional networking, not creative sharing.

~~~
mlinsey
FriendFeed?

~~~
davi
I want to be able to share some stuff with group A (e.g. old friends), other
stuff group B (e.g. project collaborators), with the option of having stuff I
post to group A being invisible to group B (and vice-versa).

I don't think FriendFeed can do this, but I'd be interested to learn if I'm
wrong.

[edit:

related thread: <http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=451491>

]

------
critic
As someone who doesn't use Facebook or anything similar, I have to ask: does
Facebook get you laid or get you good friends? Why do people use it?

~~~
ewiethoff
Legitimate question. From <http://www.jwz.org/doc/groupware.html>: "Your 'use
case' should be, there's a 22 year old college student living in the dorms.
How will this software get him laid?"

Ah, but if he's prone to computer addiction, the software needs to shove him
outside to interact with real people, or shove him out of his chair to enjoy
his girlfriend/boyfriend/pet(?!) in the next room. Perhaps Facebook needs the
various noprocrast features HN has.

------
utsmokingaces
I don't know why but i laugh really hard at

"Instead of scouring my friends' friends' photos for other possible friends, I
could have been raising money for Darfur relief"

One way for facebook to be a bit useful is to gain 1000s of "friends" and
create a group or app to raise awareness or money for your cause.

I only have a handful of real friend so I don't feel ashamed of marketing to
fb friends especially if it is for a good cause.

------
psyklic
I use facebook for keeping in touch with the weak links in my network ... the
strong ones you will (hopefully) be in touch with in "real life"

------
raamdev
I use Facebook much like I use LinkedIn: as a way for people to find me (and
sometimes to find people I have lost touch with).

To keep my Facebook profile somewhat "alive", I have my Twitter account set to
automatically update my Facebook status and I use the Wordbook plugin for
WordPress to automatically post my latest blog posts to my Facebook Wall.
Email alerts on Facebook are configured to notify me of the rare events when
someone requests friendship or responds to my Facebook status, so I rarely
even need to login.

~~~
critic
Googling your name doesn't return your personal web site?

~~~
raamdev
Yes it does. Try it. Google "raamdev" or "Raam Dev".

------
TrevorJ
For me, facebook just enables a faster way to keep connections with people in
the interim between actually doing things with them in person. I can see how
it can be destructive to sit on FB for hours on end and not actually go spend
time with people, but like anything else, it can be used for good or for ill
-it's all about balance.

------
keltecp11
Someone should write a book that outlines the appropriate boundaries for
FaceBook.

~~~
unalone
I can do that right now, in quick blurb format.

* Don't accept a friend request from somebody you're not interested in as a person.

* Keep friends with the people that have cameras. Memories are wonderful things to have, and your friends may have more pictures than you do.

* Don't update your status unless you've got something interesting to say.

* If you poke somebody, ask them out later that week. Do not poke somebody you've been friends with for longer than a month.

* Tag people in notes sparingly. Don't tag people who aren't fans of "pass it along" notes.

* Only add applications that add value to your experience.

* If you see a news story in your feed from somebody you aren't interested in, unfriend them. Possibly write them an apology if they're somebody you think you might friend again later.

* If you're friends with Scoble, ignore all these, tag in as many notes as possible, tag photos of your pets with his name so he sees them, and poke, SuperPoke, and Poke-a-mon him to your heart's desire.

Any publishers interested? ;-)

~~~
whatusername
Re: step 3, A few million twitter users would beg to differ.

~~~
unalone
The difference is that Twitter is one-way. On Facebook, if you want to use it
you have to consciously maintain the friends you've got, because in theory
they see everything you do.

