

Tweet Less, Kiss More - ricaurte
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/17/opinion/17herbert.html

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mixmax
I live on a boat, and sometimes I sail out, throw an anchor somewhere and just
enjoy the silence for a few days. No phone, no television, no Internet.
Nothing.

It's absolutely wonderful. There's time to think through problems, time to
reflect on life and time to think about new ideas. I can also drink my morning
coffee not caring how I look or sound.

When I come back I'm refreshed and have an inner peace that's somewhat hard to
describe. But getting totally away from everything every once in a while is
recommendable.

~~~
MikeCapone
You know what, for a second I was jealous of you after reading your comment,
but then I caught myself and realized that this is a case of "the grass is
always greener..".

If that's what I really wanted, I could also do it, and I wouldn't even need a
boat-house. It wouldn't be too hard to go somewhere quiet for a few days and
enjoy the peace. I guess I don't want that enough to actually go out and do
it.

Maybe I should so I can see if what I imagine it to be and what it actually is
are anywhere close to each other.

~~~
aaronblohowiak
I have found solitude to be what you make of it. That's the point, I suppose
-- less external forces impacting you. I've also wasted a lot of time with
nothing to show for it and not coming out particularly de-stressed and never
got into the re-centering flow. there may be some element of practice to
getting the most out of time alone, that will help you to enter that
restorative mode. Not much compares to it when you get there, though.

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markbao
I like this article, and can definitely resonate with it—like just a night ago
when my phone was out of battery while attending a dance night, and instead of
texting on my phone when I was standing on the sidelines, I instead observed
the styles and techniques of others on the floor.

But this isn't the entire story. We have to look at what's _really_ behind our
desire to become attached to technology. It's not the devices themselves that
we're attached to, it seems like—more like what they do.

The guy that has his laptop propped up in the driver seat probably detests his
boring commute and how annoying radio ads are, and is looking for more
entertainment in his daily commute. The lunch party friends are texting
because even though they're meeting with their friends in person—there are
others that they'd like to improve their relationship with, or just generally
enjoy talking with.

Has technology's enabling of making us more connected with each other—that
everyone's but a text message or email away using a block of plastic and metal
in our pocket with an improvised lightbulb on it—really improved our
friendships and our connections with each other? That's the real question we
have to answer before writing off technology as something that's simply
disrupting our personal relations. In real life, yes, it is a disruption, but
is the value of being connected worth it?

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ccollins
An effective, easy to implement policy that has made me happier is the no cell
phone rule when eating, period. It's nice when I'm eating solo and even nicer
when I'm eating with someone else.

Fun Fact: My mother clipped this article out and snail mailed it to me from
east coast -> SF. I received it 3 days ago. Maybe being connected doesn't put
you ahead of the curve.

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todayiamme
Sometimes technology can be a life saver. Let me explain; I don't have an
extremely congenial home environment. It's mostly screams, accusations and put
downs mixed with intermittent periods of affection (I've managed to end the
violence). I've been told by my parents that I am not good enough to exist,
and I am not worth the money they spend on me. My biological father once made
out a huge list of my monthly expenses and gave them to me saying that I
wasn't worth it and I might as well get out of the house.

I desperately needed an escape, a safe place to go to and the internet gave me
just that. It allowed me to connect to different groups of people with
different views on life and love. I met a friend of a friend online and she
was there for me through a lot of bad nights. If it hadn't been for her I
wouldn't be typing this right now. I learnt from people like lionhearted, or
my sister and made relationships with some amazing people which I hope will
last a lifetime.

To an outside observer I am a slave of technology, but is that so? This same
medium allows me to learn and self reflect, while staying afloat in the
endless sea of emotional chaos.

I think that technology by itself isn't the problem. I still read books like
anything and I swear by The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann. Whether you use it
or abuse it depends upon the type of person you are. So maybe the answer isn't
as simple as solitude, but the types of solitudes we choose.

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dbz
I can easily agree that people shouldn't be talking on the phone while driving
or watching a dvd while in traffic, but only because it is dangerous and
reckless, but I could care less that it is dangerous and reckless to the
driver; I care because I am a driver and those kind of people are endangering
others on the road like ME. I personally love both technologies and only
dislike the people that use them. I don't find this to be a technological
problem, but a people problem; certainly not a “technology controlling
society” problem neither.

“Twittering, tweeting — whatever it is, it sounds like a nervous disorder.”
The clear fallacy, which is meant to distract, takes away from what is really
going on. I hang out with people I like, and I like them because of who they
are. Having a cell phone on the table and texting/tweeting does _not_ change
who they are as people, and if it has, I guess I like that changed person
_more_.

This 'busy' life the author is complaining about where the tv set is cluttered
by unrelated information and multitasking is now known as a wonderful
skill.....is the life I wish to live, and I find it awesome. I enjoy
commercials and laugh at the obvious marketing techniques ect. It even has
become something to do with friends when we have a television show we both
enjoy. “We need to slow down and take a deep breath.” No, we don't! You do!
Time to adapt, for you can't make others adapt.

“spend a little time just being ourselves.” imho, I already made it clear I
judge people on who they are, not if they have the newest cell phone or not. I
like people who are themselves? Those people who 'are not' themselves will
find themselves eventually. I don't even know if people who are not themselves
exist-

imho, this piece was negligent/shallow rant on technology. I can't agree with
it on a whole and when I do agree- I agree for different reasons.

~~~
jphaberman
"I don't find this to be a technological problem, but a people problem..."

Correct. People are mistakenly letting technology take over their lives--for
the worse.

Rather than a negligent and shallow rant on technology, I thought it was a
rant on society's negligent and shallow relationships.

------
moultano
The most important skills for children of this generation to learn will be
discipline and reflection.

------
wipt
I've realized that I need to sit back in silence more - just with the music
alone, I'm killing my ability to think hard and long in silence. And the best
thoughts seem to come out of those opportunity's that I seldom take.

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fossuser
The article seems a bit alarmist to me. One person on the phone in traffic and
someone who watches movies on their laptop while driving? These don't seem
indicative of the common case to me. As far as his complaints about cell phone
overuse, the fact is that most people don't have much to say. Most situations
like the one he described are long and relatively boring. Is keeping your self
occupied such a bad thing?

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bbuffone
Over the last six months, I have been traveling back and forth to beijing for
2.5 months at a time. When in beijing, I don't have a phone, let-a-lone a
smart phone. The one thing I have noticed is that I used to go to my phone
anytime there was a millisecond of downtime, in line, waiting for a check...

Now, I just sit and watch the world that is around me, and I find the real-
world local to me is way more interesting than what is happening on
techcrunch, perezhilton...

There is some much information being created and consumed that whether
intended to be or not it's really just become entertainment.

------
amanfredi
Twitter, texting, cell phones, etc. don't cause rudeness, they just make it
more obvious.

~~~
Eliezer
That's a good line, but I bet it's factually false.

~~~
zackattack
That's a good line, but would you care to suggest why?

~~~
anatoly
Because when Britain switched from coal gas to natural gas (low in carbon
monoxide), the national suicide rate dropped by 40%.

~~~
philwelch
Suicide is often an impulsive act a person might commit once in their life.
Rudeness is a persistent pattern of behavior that exhibits itself many times a
day.

~~~
zackattack
I agree. Rudeness is a subtle act of body language that often goes undetected,
and is probably only made more explicitly obvious by the presence of
technology.

------
ikbear
Every day, I check my email box, i check my twitter account. But, it is really
useless for me. Because no one reply to me on twitter, no one write to me by
email. But, i am addict to it, how can i help myself to get out of it?

~~~
wipt
Remove yourself from a place where you can access it easily for a few weeks.

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boredguy8
"I was about to move to the center lane to get out of her way when she
suddenly swerved into that lane herself to pass me on the right — still
chatting away."

Why were you in the left lane if you weren't passing anyone? Starting an
article with misplaced righteous indignation is off-putting.

~~~
ars
Using the left lane only for passing is not the custom everywhere.

Presumably it is where you live, but it's not universal.

~~~
boredguy8
To drive from Washington, D. C. to New York, the author is driving through New
Jersey, which has 'keep right' laws. And it's general practice across the USA.

"In North American terminology, the passing lane is often known as a left lane
or leftmost lane, due to left hand drive (driving on the right).

...

"A common problem arising from misuse of the "fast lane" is that it forces
faster moving traffic that wishes to overtake on the left to change lanes, do
so on the right, and then change lanes again."

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passing_lane>

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superuser2
Why is he picking a fight with the Kindle? Isn't reading when we'd otherwise
be completely idle a good thing?

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mattmcknight
Would he complain about a person driving up behind him that was having a
conversation with her friend in the back seat? Sure, but he wouldn't be able
to label it a tech problem. Were brokers on the NYSE in 1950 not multitasking?

I also don't understand why integrated Bluetooth in the car hasn't taken over
yet. The US spent over $1B just in the first week of cash for clunkers. They
could have bought a ton of aftermarket Bluetooth devices instead (or gone
nanny state and made it a mandatory feature) and maybe saved some lives.

~~~
philwelch
If you wanted to spend billions of dollars reducing highway fatalities, there
are much more effective measures than bluetoothing people's cars.

------
credo
On a related topic "Your Brain on Computers Hooked on Gadgets, and Paying a
Mental Price" <http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/07/technology/07brain.html> is a
very interesting read.

------
JulianMorrison
The problem isn't multitasking, it's a biological substrate that isn't really
very good at it. We have awesomely parallel brains but our narrow input
bandwidth and lack of multiplexing is becoming increasingly a bottleneck.

------
nrbafna
Once or twice a month, I keep all accessories at home and just head out in
jeans/t-shirt, carrying some amount of money. Not carrying your
phone/watch/wallet gives a different sense of freedom and the surroundings.

------
mattmaroon
This is the modern equivalent of yelling at kids to get off of your lawn.

~~~
dcotter
No, it isn't: You can't call something a modern equivalent of something else
if the something else still exists in modern times (i.e. kids on lawns). More
substantively, the guy's got a point: digital distractions are pervasive and
lead to an artificial sense of connectedness when really they disconnect you
from your present environment. Probably not a big deal if your present
environment is stultifying (sitting in traffic, for example), but more of a
big deal when it's a potentially rich environment -- eating dinner with
friends, say -- and you're missing out on it because you can't pull your head
out of your -- ahem, BlackBerry.

Not to mention, numerous studies demonstrate that even people who multitask
constantly and believe they are quite good at it, aren't. They miss subtle
cues and fail to appreciate the nuances of not just one thing, but everything
amongst which they are dividing their attention. And not to pile on, but lots
of studies also show that text messaging in particular is prone to
communication errors (off the top of my head, I believe the study I'm thinking
of said that only about 40% of what the sender intended to communicate is
understood properly by the receiver). So I don't think he's just a cranky
technophobe; I think it's actually a pretty important point he's making.

~~~
mattmaroon
It's the modern equivalent because it's the new way in which older people
gripe about younger people. Kids and lawns still exist, but people my parents'
age don't yell about them anymore. For one the kids are too busy playing video
games, and for another they don't want to be a cliche.

This is the new cliche ("the kids and their Tweeting and and Facebooking") as
anyone younger who spends any time with baby boomers will attest to. It's
valueless because it doesn't say anything everyone doesn't already know.
(Really, watching dvds while driving is bad?) It's not necessarily incorrect.
It's just silly.

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tragiclos
Bob Herbert: Get off my lawn...

