

Ask HN: Life advice for 40yo Web Dev, single, $500k savings - artofstart

Today i read the thread by the 25 year old web dev with 25k savings (https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=8019558). And i thought: Damn! Im in exactly the same situation as this guy. Only that Im almost twice as old and that my savings are more then 10 times of his. I would <i>love</i> to hear the opinions of you guys about this situation. So I finally made an account here, so I can post my version.<p>Just as the other poster, Im in Europe, come from a webdev&#x2F;entrepreneur background and made some money with my startup. I was pretty introverted and socialy awkward my whole life, but teached myself a lot about social dynamics lately. So finally, I have some success with girls :-) But I cannot find any buddies for my lifestyle (go out, meet girls, talk about business, travel..). Everybody I meet is employed, has a relationship, is too shy to try new stuff. And for some reason, I completely suck when it comes to friendship.<p>Anybody here who is&#x2F;was in a similar situation?
======
somestranger
Where are you located? And how many languages do you speak?

Here's a very specific plan:

Move to Barcelona. Once established there, try to find a job with either
Computacenter, or Sellbytel Spain. They are usually always looking for people
with good computer skills and that speak at least 3 languages (or 2 if you
don't speak Spanish).

They have a very nice office atmosphere, and a lot of cool people from other
countries work for them. You'll make plenty of acquaintances rather fast, and
the lowest level jobs (I take it money is not a concern for you, right?) have
a lot of free time (Unless you are unlucky and get a job in one of the help
desk with the most volume of calls) when in the office, that would allow you
to do some work on the side if needed.

I worked for them 2003 - 2006, and boy was that fun (If you do follow this
plan, try _not_ to get promoted: not worth the money ;) )

Have fun!

~~~
artofstart
The thing is: I find employment very boring. I could never sit on my ass and
do stuff for a company. And I usualy dont click with people who are employed.
I dont like all the stuff these people are into. I have absolutely no interest
in talking about politics, sports, gossip, gardening, family and whatnot. Im
interested in girls, startups, coding, philosophy...

~~~
shadowcats
You seem like an interesting fella. Wanna get in touch over email and bounce
around some ideas and favorite blogs and such?

~~~
artofstart
Sure! I will send you a mail to the address in your profile.

------
NicoJuicy
I'm kinda in the same situation, only i'm starting a business, got 80-90 k. in
the bank and i'm 27 yrs old, i did parties, but i don't want to commit myselve
to a relationship - had a long term relationship... I want to travel (but
that's hard when starting a business)... Never travelled a lot in my life.

I already have the property to live, but i need to demolish the old house
first and then set a new one on top (then i'll have debts :) ).

Working on a full time job and i'm starting my business after my normal
working hours (so it's kinda busy ).. I like working for myselve, because my
current employer is old-skool.. Their money-making application is still
written in VB6, that probably explains my point with old-skool :)

I speak 3 languages (someone asked you): Dutch, French and English. I also
understand German (mostly)

------
cameron91
I have a similar background, however, I went through a lot of social anxiety
my teenage years and somehow converted to being more extroverted my college
years.

www.meetup.com is a good site (also check lifehack.org they have good articles
on how to get the self esteem to get your foot int eh door). Also I'm always
looking for new connects on LinkedIn if you're into that.

www.linkedin.com/in/cameronbradford/

~~~
artofstart
Sorry, Im not on linkedin.

------
dylanhassinger
You should join the Dynamic Circle, the membership community behind
TropicalMBA. It is full of ballers all around the world.

[http://tropicalmba.com](http://tropicalmba.com)

With your savings, I would take Dave Ramsey's advice and invest it in stable
growth stock mutual funds, and then not touch it. You can use the interest to
fund your retirement - hell you could probably retire right now.

------
bonsai
Forget about daily job.

Life is short. Just live your life to the fullest. Travel around the world and
do what you like. You'll meet awesome people down the road that's for sure.

------
the906
Become an architect! Sorta serious, go google digital fabrication. Your'e good
at programming but young in the realm of architecture. Be the next zah hadid!

------
b_t_s
invest in a high quality dividend index fund(DVY for example) and retire. You
ought to be able to get over 1k EUR a month no problem. Might not sound like a
lot in the EU, but you can travel or live very comfortably most places in
Asia, Africa, and Central/South America on that and be completely free to
pursue your interests.

~~~
artofstart
Do you live in one of these countries?

------
ada1981
I work with Silicon Valley founders & CEO types on Intimacy as a Spirtual
Path. It's a post-pickup view. I spent a decade studying with the top guru's
and realized what an empty existence it was. I know work with guys to create
visionary partnership with amazing women. I'd be happy to give you a free deep
dive session with me, as I've done for a number of Hacker News readers..
anthony@175g.com

------
not_a_test_user
Move to South America or Asia and live off your savings for the rest of your
life. Unlimited time for hobbies!

~~~
artofstart
Good point. I at least have to check out these places to see if i like it.

------
digitalzombie
I... don't have much of a saving. I save just enough to take a year off to
learn Android and move toward that field hopefully soon.

During that year, I've worked my ass off with girls mostly doing pick up
artist kind of deal. I have a few friends are really prominent in this circle.

Since my funding is drying up, I've given up on improving my pick up skill,
I've attain a decent level right now, but for now I'm working my ass on
studying android and getting a job in it.

I've never had a problem with friends even with my horrible introvertness. I
had problems keeping them because of my lack of keeping in touch skills. It's
getting better though.

I'm 28.

> But I cannot find any buddies for my lifestyle (go out, meet girls, talk
> about business, travel..).

You can't find buddies to fit all aspect of your life style. I find that you
need friends that fit certain aspect so you have multiple group.

I have university and highschool friends to just hang out and just
interpersonal talk and maybe programming. I have another set to just talk
about programming.

I also have another social group of friends that I go out and do pick up with.
In general these group of friends aren't wealthy, who am I to complain? Ha,
but they're mostly broke with deadend job but they sacrifice wealth for
chasing girls. Well at least that's just my observation, I tried to balance
both but well it's a tough.

edit:

If you really need to find buddies to chase girls, you can try to find a pick
up community.

~~~
artofstart
Yes, I met a couple of guys from the pick up community. But I had to travel to
meet them and they where not very dedicated or experienced. They where
impressed with my skills as I was way better in attracting girls then them.
And it was nice for me to have company. But all in all it was not enough to
build a friendship. They where much younger then me, we had no mutual
interests apart from girls and they where not really dedicated in that field
either.

~~~
japhyr
I hope that you can start to see women as people with whom you can form
meaningful relationships, rather than seeing them as "girls" that you need to
"pick up".

~~~
artofstart
Of the things I wrote, what makes you think I do not form meaningful
relationships?

~~~
japhyr
The "pick up" mindset implies a number of things about the kinds of
relationships "pick up artists" have with women:

\- Calling them "girls" implies they are young and not really in the adult
world, and not on an equal level with "men".

\- The phrase "pick up" implies that women are objects, to be "picked up", not
to be viewed as equals.

\- The whole pick up mindset turns dating into a game that men are out to win,
rather than it being about finding someone you can build a relationship with.

\- The word "dedicated" in this context implies a disturbing commitment to
this approach to dealing with women.

I'm responding because my comment was sincere. I hope that people who get into
the pick up mindset can recognize the shallowness of that approach, and move
on to forming more respectful and lasting relationships with women.

~~~
artofstart
Neither did I use the term "pick up" in relation to what I do, nor did I imply
seeing women as objects. Thats why I asked you to refer to what I wrote.

As for the dedication to become good (which mainly means more self secure and
understanding) in the interactions with young beautiful women: Yeah! I would
love to meet other guys who are into this. It seems to go against some old
fashioned worldview you hold. My reply to this is: Get rid of values that have
been drummed into you and start listening to your own feelings!

