
“Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk” - sb8244
https://medium.com/@peggyrayzis/why-i-cancelled-my-reactiveconf-talk-3a463bf14bd8
======
snewk
ok. people can be offended by things that weren't intended to offend them.
this does happen from time to time.

buy why would the speaker withdraw instead of contacting the event organizers?
if it bothered her, she wouldn't necessarily have to go into any detail as to
_why_ she found it offensive. she should just chew them out for this debacle
and threaten to withdraw if they don't alter the image.

this whole thing seems like a poor choice by the event organizers, followed by
a poor reaction from a speaker, which led to a poor response from the
organizers.

you aren't automatically "right" just because the other guy is wrong.

~~~
aaron-lebo
She wanted to be taken seriously, that undermined it, she has that right. That
the organizers responded the way they did says enough:

 _This is not how adults handle situations._

~~~
drharby
Perspective - if someone photoshopped my face onto pancho villa I could choose
to be undermined or be a good sport about it, regardless of how wrong the
other party may have been.

I will say this, being outraged may vault her into the limelight and
accelerate her name recognition, if not for a moment. Almost sounds like an
incentive to choose to be a victim

~~~
aaron-lebo
Or maybe she had a legitimate reason to be offended. You don't get to chose
that.

~~~
drharby
I think you missed my point where i would be offended and still handle it with
grace.

Oh and to shortcircuit the strawman observation, I've been in many
professional situations where my latino heritage is used in a malicious and
insulting way which offends me but I CHOOSE a constructive non confrontational
conflict resolution that includes dialogue

------
QAPereo
_only to see that the conference organizers had photoshopped my face onto a
sexualized image of Wonder Woman without my consent, printed it out, and
framed it._

Isn’t it just an image of Wonder Woman, in full kit? Moreover, this iteration
was recently hailed as a bit of a kickass lady, rather than a sex symbol. What
makes this “sexualized” rather than a compliment about being like a Wonder
Woman?

~~~
Cthulhu_
The problem is that all superheroes can be considered sex symbols, they're all
examples of the greatest that people can achieve in terms of attitude,
physical fitness, etc. One could argue the whole superhero thing is
problematic.

(I'm not going to though, I enjoy the movies)

------
tzs
Did any other speakers object?

It looks like they did Sarah Drashner as Supergirl [1], and Daniel Woelfel,
Sean Grove, and Jared Forsyth as members of some team that I do not recognize
from the uniforms [2].

It looks like they also had lots of superhero stuff, such as models and sets
that people could take photos with, and in general were going for a them that
React developers are superheros right up their with groups like The Avengers.
See various photos and tweets here [3].

[1]
[https://twitter.com/filipewl/status/923583201100083206](https://twitter.com/filipewl/status/923583201100083206)

[2]
[https://twitter.com/ReactiveConf/status/888016901061922820](https://twitter.com/ReactiveConf/status/888016901061922820)

[3]
[https://twitter.com/reactiveconf/media](https://twitter.com/reactiveconf/media)

------
20171026
So Eastern European.

I was at an Elastic conference in Poland where there were all sorts of ads
which would be considered offensive here. Like one depicting a Native American
chief in full head dress spouting some vague Indian-ish proverb with a tech
slant.

~~~
nnq
I hope you meant it in a good way. There's _very very few good things_ about
Eastern Europe. But the "open minded humor" and ability to both take and
receive jokes that would offend others is one of the _good_ things. Humor has
rarely been "malicious" and discriminative here, like in more developed
European countries or the US. EE never actually had things like _slavery_ or
serious racial discrimination (the Rroma people are a good example of that
actually - they have been so well tolerated that they never actually
integrated... not that that is a good thing), and communism actually brought
women closer to equality status in the workplace. This made jokes that are
"charged" in other places of the world be very OK here.

Yeah, it's kind of the "South Park of Europe" so you need to have a taste for
this kind of thing to enjoy it.

And, unfortunately, it's disappearing... people are getting too thin-skinned
and liberal-corporatist there too. And nobody can be blaimed for that either,
since pulling towards the opposite direction would be pulling towards the East
and that's a no no. Better thin-skinned liberal pro-European than getting even
a millimeter closer whatever toxic pseudo-authoritarian concoction is brewing
around Rusia nowadays...

~~~
dang
> There's very very few good things about Eastern Europe.

The positive intent behind your comment is clear, but please don't post like
this to HN. It crosses into, or closely enough resembles, nationalistic
attack.

Commenting like this about the place you yourself are from isn't,
unfortunately, much different in terms of toxic internet effects, so on HN,
please just don't. I'm sure you can find a more precise and neutral way to say
what you want to say.

~~~
nnq
I have no intent whatsoever to avoid "toxic internet effects" or
"nationalistic attack". There's room for more love in the world, just as
there's room for more hate, the latter is just as useful.

Ironically, your comment shows exactly that you "don't grok", or simply don't
enjoy, the kind of sometimes intentionally toxico-aggressive humor I was
referring to ;)

Sometime you incite a bit of hate and generate some toxic effects on purpose
just 'cause it's... fun. And it's _perfectly OK_ as long as you _sincerely
100% lacks any aim /purpose/agenda_ and _make sure nobody gains anything from
it_ (it's OK if _everyone_ loses _equally_ from it :P).

EDIT +: And it helps people chill, relax, and live in peace, kind of like a
"hate vaccine"... as long as you're surrounded by people that are not too
sensitive to "grok it". I think in general, worldwide, people need some "hate
vaccination" to desensitize them a bit and decrease worldwide volatility.
We're becoming too edgy and close to the red button if we don't realize
there's "good" in any kind of "evil" attitude.

------
rendall
Another speaker withdrew because of what he felt to be the organizers'
unprofessionalism.

It seems that the organizers were well-intentioned, but lack experience.

[https://medium.com/@jevakallio/why-i-will-not-be-speaking-
at...](https://medium.com/@jevakallio/why-i-will-not-be-speaking-at-
reactiveconf-6e106b3816a5)

------
Cthulhu_
Honest apology from the organizer: [https://medium.com/@ReactiveConf/an-
honest-apology-for-peggy...](https://medium.com/@ReactiveConf/an-honest-
apology-for-peggy-rayzis-from-reactiveconf-lead-organizer-f6efa21a19e6)

------
drharby
Rather rash reaction after such a self-admitted sacrifice "HALFWAY ACROSS THE
WURLLLLDDDDD" which sidestepped the initial reachout and request for
mediation. Almost sounds like a bad ben stiller romcom trope of the whole
ordeal can be sorted out via a short dialogue.

Kind of reminds me of the final scene of jane austins Mafia! Where madam
president asks if her husband, the godfather, killed everyone.

------
drharby
Frankly - I find the thought of $aBugThatThinks to be Offensive!

------
encinotech
This should be buried, and I would never invite her to speak again because she
is _drama_.

This is a trend of hyper sensitivity that requires everyone to walk on
eggshells and wear kid gloves because who knows what could trigger the
emotional reaction. Really, think about this - what if a company tries to do
something fun, like for halloween, and buys clip-on ties for the guys and
clip-on hair ties for the girls, but then someone flips out saying "I'm a guy
why do i have to be stereotyped into having a tie, this is so sexist! (and the
girls can do the reverse - I want a tie!). It's all just nonsense from people
who don't have any emotional maturity, really.

Were the conference organizers trying to do the wrong thing? Doesn't sound
like it at all. They probably thought "wonder woman is cool, this lady is
cool, this image will be cool" and it was actually an act to celebrate her.

Instead she flips out. Great, real mature. Then she posts conversations she
had with them and demonizes them. real mature.

And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face
photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complained about being sexualized
because now his face is on a shirtless strong dude. These arguments only go
one way for people like this.

There is a line, of course, and sexual harassment is real. But this isn't
anywhere near the line, its not even in the same field. We need to send a
message back to her that she is the one being drama and needs to grow up and
be a 'real adult' like she says she is.

~~~
aaron-lebo
You should grow up and learn to empathize with people different than you. It's
not hard, you just have to imagine why someone with a different background
than you might feel different about events than you do. She's much closer to
this event, anyway, so I'm sure she's got a better opinion on it than you.

 _And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face
photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complained about being sexualized
because now his face is on a shirtless strong dude. These arguments only go
one way for people like this._

You really don't see the difference between a male being sexualized among a
mostly male audience, and a female who wants to be treated as a professional
being sexualized? It's not that hard to figure out.

~~~
nv-vn
I think people might agree with you more if you wrote this in a tone that is
even slightly condescending. If your approach to responding to people who
disagree with you is trying to shame them for their behavior and shut them out
then nobody will ever want to hear out your argument or consider it.

~~~
aaron-lebo
Not attempting to reason with someone so ideological, just want him to be
aware that is viewpoint isn't ok.

 _We need to send a message back to her that she is the one being drama and
needs to grow up and be a 'real adult' like she says she is._

Honestly that just sounds threatening, it's not alright.

~~~
nv-vn
>His viewpoint isn't okay

And yet you call upon him to act like an adult.

Anyways, I'd love to hear what defines a viewpoint as okay. Is it just the
fact that it agrees with your viewpoint? I imagine you are some kind of
authority on life who knows what every valid and invalid view is.

