

Ask HN: What is the best advice you have ever given to someone? - lydiahan


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justintocci
I can't help it, I have to answer this.

It was maybe ten years ago. My boss was selling his company. He described to
me that it was a multi step sale.

Now, I had read a blog post by Robert Cringely that talked about how companies
steal corporations by devaluing stock after the initial sale so that sellers
miss out on most of the money they were planning on getting. I had read it
maybe a few months prior and was sketchy on the details but bells and whistles
were going off in my head.

I told him he should read this blog post, I'd go find it and send it right
over. Then the most amazing thing happened.

I want to point out, this was the best job I'd ever had. He was, by far, the
best boss I'd ever had. Unlike any other person I had ever worked for he gave
me a lot of autonomy and I made him a lot of money in a very short time.

So I was kind of surprised. Rather than say, "hey, send it over", he instead
began to explain to me that there was a contract, that they couldn't change
the contract after the fact, etc. I said ok, that I didn't really recall the
details in the article, maybe he should read it.

That's when he said no. I was very surprised and disappointed but it only
lasted a minute. I'm a type A personality so I sent it to him anyway.

Much later I learned that they had agreed on three equal payments in the
millions. The first payment was paid as agreed. The next was a couple hundred
thousand. The last was zero.

The formula was in the contract and couldn't be changed. In fact, the
purchasers only had control over one number in the formula. If you aren't
strong in algebra let me just tell you outright what that means.

The purchasers had total control over the formula.

My boss had a great lawyer that didn't realize this or tell him. Maybe because
he only gets paid if the deal happens.

They had a highly paid business broker who surely knew this but didn't say
anything because he only gets paid if the deal happens.

Anyway, probably my worst business day ever since I obviously caused my boss
to lose way more than I ever benefitted him. And unfortunately, I still have
credibility problems. I would love some good advise on that!

~~~
phaus
Maybe I'm not understanding something, but how did you cause your boss to lose
anything? Unless I missed something, you tried to warn him, but he had already
signed a contract, so he lost the money on his own. Why would any of this be
considered your fault?

~~~
justintocci
The contracts were still being negotiated. He didn't sign until several days
later.

I don't know if he considers it my fault, but he should. He is not the only
person who has failed to consider my advice and lost, just the one to lose the
most money. This a very often repeated theme in my life. I somehow manipulate
people into not taking me seriously. I don't understand it and I don't want to
believe it but its easier to believe than the alternatives.

~~~
phaus
If someone fails to listen to reasonable advice, it isn't your fault. If he
blamed you, he would be an idiot. He should be pissed at himself, as well as
the con-artists that took his money. If anything, you should have way more
credibility with him, because you were right.

I hope I'm not being too blunt, but you sound as if you have a strange case of
imposter syndrome. You should give yourself more credit.

~~~
justintocci
I think that he's a really smart guy who actually would have figured out the
problem if I had not interfered.

The word credibility was a bad choice on my part. It's hard to write a better
description of myself because its embarrassing. I can be really frustrating
and people frequently develop a strong feeling of disgust toward me. I'm right
often, but that alone isn't the problem. Every once in a while I point out the
emperor isn't wearing any clothes. Sometimes I meet people and I'm right in
the middle of tearing their work to pieces and that is forever their first
impression of me. It's too embarrassing to go on.

And so this can lead to a kind of occasional willful blindness on the part of
people who just can't take it if I'm right yet again. I hope no one sees this
since I'm going into way more detail than I had intended. I think he may have
said to himself, "if he's right, he'll be able to claim to all his friends
that I owe him my fortune. I can't bear that. I think I'll stick to my lawyer
on this one."

I just wanted to post a story that would show how I had lost my boss a lot of
money. I tell people my faults as a personal observance. I see now that the
readers here are very astute and I should have either told the whole story or
held my post.

Just as an aside, I think my boss was quite disgusted with the whole
situation. If i recall correctly he left shortly after the second payment. He
definitely didn't hold me in any greater esteem at any point. Honestly I hope
he forgot that I was involved.

------
rpedela
How about the best advice I ever received? Here it goes...

Focus on becoming the best at something. In ten years, you will be the best
(or one of the best). Then all that other stuff many people focus on will just
happen naturally: fame, fortune, etc.

------
dome82
"Use as much time as possible with the people you love and enjoy these
moments. Life is short."

------
avni000
If you know better, do better.

------
notduncansmith
"Delete system32"

