
Introvert Hangovers Can Be Really Rough - bootload
http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/08/introvert-hangovers.html
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stuxnet79
This article didn't resonate with me for various reasons. Probably because I
don't really believe in the extrovert / introvert dichotomy.

It's not a hangover in the classic sense for me. I don't believe I'm a genuine
introvert because I much prefer socializing to being a loner but it has to be
with the right group of people. I go on phases where I spend a lot of effort
trying to connect with others (e.g. clubs, bars, meetups, parties etc) and
then it abruptly stops usually due to what I perceive is a low ROI.

At least 95% of the new people I met the past X months will 'disappear', I
will get melancholy over this, become even more withdrawn, and then X months
afterwards when I feel up for it I will start going out again (rinse / wash /
repeat).

~~~
brownbat
That same mag has an article on introvert-extrovert hybrids:
[http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/07/ambiverts-are-
introvert...](http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/07/ambiverts-are-introvert-
extrovert-hybrids.html)

Maybe that will resonate, maybe not.

I'm skeptical of the dichotomy too, and that article really honestly only
strengthens my concerns with the theory. (If you need an out from your binary
theory because it's insufficiently descriptive, consider ditching the model.)

There are settings and people I like interacting with and others I don't. This
is probably close to universal, though we might disagree on the settings and
people.

Public speaking is scary and awkward, until I've done it a couple times that
year, then it gradually gets easier and more fun. The number of times probably
varies, but people generally have some anxiety about novel experiences and
adapt over time.

I wouldn't mind a pop sci theory if I didn't think it was doing harm. But I've
repeatedly seen people buy into the introvert idea so much they refuse to
believe they are good speakers, even when audiences love their talks. They
insist they are bad speakers because they are an introvert. It's heartbreaking
to hear.

People from Myers Briggs will insist that's a misunderstanding of the theory,
but that's how a lot of people internalize it.

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macawfish
I think a lot of it for me has to do with the ways I often feel that I'm
expected to be social; there are times when I'm around other people, and we
are both sitting quietly working on stuff, and I really enjoy that kind of
time with other people. For this reason, I live libraries. But some of it is
truly just needing to be with myself.

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htaunay
I was going to write something in the lines of the first comment of the
original article, but since @LauraBloomify beat me to it, I'll just copy/paste
it here since HN almost always provides a more interesting discussion:

"To continue with the alcohol metaphor, when over-socialised I become a mean
drunk, without the drunk part. I've learned, no matter what the social
consequences, it's better for me to leave abruptly than stay and explode."

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mbrock
I hypothesize that introverts have a stronger need for some kinds of harmony
or order which is disrupted by the messiness of social interactions. When
"relaxing", introverts would then enjoy reading good books, cleaning,
meditating, etc. Checks out for me.

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enturn
I think everyone needs time to unwind, the difference comes down to attitude,
strategies for dealing with social situations and practice so it becomes
muscle memory and therefore less tiring. I know for me I didn't get the best
experiences socialising when growing up. Then I went out clubbing nearly every
weekend and become much better. Now I'm married and I've fallen back into old
habits I don't deal with new social situations so well any more.

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artpepper
The "recharge" analogy resonates with me.

But solitude (at least for me) isn't just about _not_ being around people, as
if people are some kind of negative stimulus, like an allergen.

Solitude is more like a basic need for me, and too much socializing is like
being starved of that need.

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nadezhda18
my favorite way to recover from over-socialising is to spend an hour or two in
front of the computer. It can be even at the party - as long as nobody comes
to me and talks.

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OpenDrapery
I imagine even the most Type A extrovert gets worn down after spending 3
consecutive days with the same people?

I don't think the introvert/extrovert thing really factors in. If you spend X
amount of time with person Y, you need a break from person Y.

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woodandsteel
There is a view that what is known as introversion should instead be viewed as
a very sensitive personality

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_sensitivity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_sensitivity)

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cylinder
Are we at Peak Introvert Coddling?

