
Looking into the eyes of failure - jd_routledge
https://mentalhealthinstartups.com/looking-into-the-eyes-of-failure-f1523b6a70a7#.guolltwql
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coffeemug
_> It was the fear of failing (or admitting failure) that lead us to fail,
because we were afraid to fail, we failed._

You can do everything right and still fail. That's just life -- it's no fun
facing it, but that's the way it is.

EDIT: also, another bit of wisdom from the realm of inspirational quotes:

 _> There is always doubt. No sane man would deny that. But no good captain
would admit it. What good would that knowledge do to the men who are trying to
focus on doing their jobs? So we dance the dance. Never was there a caesar who
couldn't sing the tune._

~~~
lostcolony
And one of the more famous quotes of a certain starship captain - "It is
possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is
life."

~~~
maxxxxx
Somewhere in the Bhagavad Gita there is this quote: "You have a right to
perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of
action. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your
activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.". So you have a duty
do your best but there is no guarantee that it will result in success. There
is still an element of Karma or luck, whatever you may call it.

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hoodoof
Don't connect your identity to the business.

In a whole range of ways a business is a standalone entity, including legally
and personally.

You'll be a better entrepreneur when you feel that you are not your business.
Businesses come and businesses go, some you might own 100%, others you might
have a small stake in. Just see them as "things" rather than "you".

~~~
jd_routledge
Great advice - thanks

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danieltillett
I wish investors would stop putting money into businesses run by 22 year olds
with no life experience. The human cost of throwing someone this young into
the deep end with a sink or swim attitude is far too high.

~~~
mrgreenfur
Truth, but most older folks will not buy their kool-aid.

~~~
danieltillett
Exactly. It is even more exploitive if you know this.

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FussyZeus
> Personally, it could have been considered a great success — at 24 I’d raised
> $1m in investment, built a team and a tech product which operated at
> relative scale, I’d learnt an enormous amount and I had an incredible
> network in the UK startup ecosystem.

None of that is success. Success is taking in enough money to pay your
employees, your expenses, and have something left over to put in a bank.

I get so tired of these flimsy companies touting their "success" which is
nothing more than money from investors buying things they haven't earned. Just
because you aren't profitable doesn't make you a failure, but neither does
having investor money in your bank account make you successful.

~~~
pauloday
I think the key word is "personally". That stuff doesn't equal a successful
company, but it does look nice on a resume.

~~~
FussyZeus
I don't disagree with that, but your bullet point cost somebody a million
bucks and from the sound of things, a few people are out a livelihood too
while he's off to his next big adventure. It doesn't seem like the Author is
owning any of the fallout from it.

~~~
technotony
I don't know, sounds like he went through nine pretty miserable months dealing
with the failure, and now is starting a mental health startup to help others
manage the mental challenge of startups. Feels to me like he felt the weight
of this failure, my read is that the statement about success was himself still
trying to tell himself he's ok. Failing in a startup sucks. People kill
themselves over that (including a friend of mine). I think we should forgive
those who fail, it's a necessary part of the startup ecosystem, and let them
move on with their lives.

~~~
FussyZeus
The way I read it he's building a support group for other CEO's of failed
startups, other people with new adventures, flush bank accounts and the kind
of folks who write these mostly self serving "what I learned" things. Granted
this one isn't nearly as self serving as most, but what about the engineers
scrambling to get a job so they can feed their kids? How about the marketing
people searching for work to cover their mortgage? How about everyone else
scrambling to not lose a car?

We never hear about those people because they're too busy scrambling for a
life raft to write long sappy "what I learned" medium posts.

~~~
jd_routledge
You clearly haven't read any of my other posts. Dealing with failure is the
hardest thing I've ever done and seriously affected my mental health. Everyone
who worked for us went into better jobs than previously and all I'm doing is
trying to help more and more people. You are far too quick to judge and seem
very bitter about a lot of the startup BS, which I can understand.

When I talk about the fact that the business could have been seen as a success
for me, that is because success and failure are completely relative. Many of
the people around me would laugh when I said I'd failed, because they were
judging it by how far I'd come and the experience I'd gained.

You're absolutely right the business was a complete failure and we spent $800k
of someone else's money to get those learnings', but just because someone was
a founder/CEO you shouldn't think they're in a different position to anybody
else - both financially and emotionally.

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onion2k
One of the key things I worked out quite a long time after my startup failed
is that a person can't be a failure. A failure is an _event_. If it happens
you reflect on it, you learn from it and then you move on. Sometimes that
means trying again, but equally sometimes you learn that you can't do what you
set out to do so you should do something different instead. Sometimes you
learn your limits, and that's OK.

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mikhailfranco
Founding startups seems to be a form of self-harming caused by high self-
esteem.

