
Ask HN: I am extremely alone - alone2018
Though I am lucky to have decent social skills, and seemingly to outsiders I would have lots of friends, I have no one who I feel shares my interests &#x2F; who I want to spend time with.  Admittedly, I have uncommon &amp; very geeky interests, but knowing that doesn&#x27;t solve my problem of finding someone to share those with.<p>I don&#x27;t know what to do with this feeling of loneliness.  Aside from meetups, and social apps, I&#x27;ve even gone to the extent of creating a website to attract like-minded people and started Facebook &amp; Reddit ad campaigns pointing people to it.  No luck.  I suppose I could spend more money on it, but, feels futile.<p>This loneliness is crushing, and frightening - I have to fight against thoughts of a lifetime of loneliness.  I even ended an otherwise healthy romantic relationship because I felt detached from the person.<p>Any thoughts or ideas?<p>31&#x2F;m&#x2F;SF
======
tomhoward
I feel you, I've been in a similar place.

My own path to a better place came from realising that I was expecting too
much of other people to fit into my ideas of what others could do for me, and
becoming better at meeting people half way and becoming as much a giver as a
taker.

The fact is that we live in a society and for that society to function,
everyone needs to give and receive in roughly equal measures over the long
term. If we're too isolated in our own idiosyncratic interests and values,
it's possible we're not playing an adequate role in contributing to the
wellbeing of those around us.

At least that was the case for me.

The solution for me was to embark on a long-term process of deep self-
discovery, emotional healing and ego-balancing, which I've been doing for
about 7 years and am continuing to undertake.

Slowly but surely, all aspects of my life are getting better, including both
my ability to connect with the more "normal" people I encounter in everyday
life, as well as connecting with the more idiosyncratic people on the fringes.

Feel free to contact me (email in profile) if you want to know more.

