Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders? - danschumann
======
songzme
Personally, whenever I feel lonely I would go volunteer and help people. It
makes you feel connected and really puts things into perspective (like, even
if your startup doesn't do well, you would still be surrounded by people who
enjoys you as a person).

Every Saturday, my wife and I volunteer at our local library (northside branch
in santa clara) to teach people how to code.

We've been doing that for almost a year with surprising results. Now I'm
leading about 10 engineers that I've taught from the ground up and they are
happily building features for my app for minimum wage (temporarily). I'm
hoping that one of my apps take off and I can pay everyone great salary.

~~~
swyx
this is a bit of an awkward question but.. have you ever come across anyone
who you tried to teach but in the end was just not suited for coding? can
everyone learn to code?

~~~
songzme
Yes. If a person is able to do things sequentially (get up, brush teeth, etc
etc), be able to decide, (if I do this, then I do that), they can code

~~~
swyx
love your positive attitude. i think my weakness as a javascript peer
mentor/teacher is that sometimes i get frustrated when people dont get what I
am trying to teach and its either i am a bad teacher or they aren't learning
it right. and constantly at the back of my mind i'm wondering if its worth my
time/effort to keep trying to teach the person or if they should go ask
someone else who is better at teaching.

~~~
songzme
Since you asked, I'll try to share what I've learned. You can become
incredibly effective if you invest in the skills to become a better teacher.
Usually if someone is not learning, its the teacher not doing a good job.

1\. Test - before starting any topic, make sure your student has a grasp of
the prerequisites by giving them simple tasks. Just because you have taught
them the prerequisites a week ago does not mean that they didn't forget.

2\. When you are teaching them, talk as little as possible. The only thing you
should be saying is the concepts.

3\. Ask lots of questions. Ie: What is an object (expect them to repeat what
you told them); What happens if (insert 10x different cases). Teach by asking.

4\. Set 0 expectations. If you get frustrated its because you have
expectations. Many people have self confidence issues. Being disappointed will
cause your students emotional stress and they will not be able to learn. They
might start to avoid asking you questions...

5\. Listen. Many times, your students could be saying what you wanted to hear,
but worded differently. Their analogy could have the same concept as yours but
very different. Learn to recognize what students are saying.

I can't emphasize #3 enough. When I teach, I never say more than 2 sentences
without asking a question. Because you quickly realize that people have a hard
time retaining more than 2-3 sentences at a time.

You should 100% invest your time to get better at teaching. Teaching is a
skill that schools robs from our childhood growing up. It helps you sympathize
with people better, understand people better, communicate with people better,
etc., all pretty real skills to have.

~~~
swyx
these are a really good set of principles. saving these to reflect on.

------
mjwhansen
Thank you for posting this.

I've five weeks into working for myself and avoiding loneliness has become a
key task for me every day. I wouldn't say I'm succeeding at it, to be honest.
I know I could join a coworking space but I question whether it's worth $400+
a month when I wouldn't be able to attend the networking events since I have a
family and need to be home at night. (And I don't need meeting space, and have
a desk at home, and etc.)

I've started going to Whole Foods to work during the day just to be around
other people. Not that we necessarily interact, but, you know, it's something.

~~~
Waterluvian
And with one comment on Hacker News I think I understand why people do work at
Starbucks.

Not sure why that never dawned on me.

~~~
cylinder
So all those people sitting there because they're lonely and want to be around
other people ... But they never talk to one another. Weird.

~~~
ci5er
Or ... maybe not lonely. But want to feel a lively "buzz" that isn't from
music or putting on movies in the background.

Maybe weird. But I don't like sitting in my quiet apartment alone working.
(I'm not particularly lonely - I just like the energy better when I'm "out")

~~~
cylinder
I just wish we had something like this still -
[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_coffeehouses_in_the_...](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_coffeehouses_in_the_17th_and_18th_centuries)

~~~
ci5er
I can't disagree. But in the absence of Ben Franklin, I still need to get out
of the house to go find a place with "buzz" to work...

------
ci5er
This comment may be appreciated or not, but, I find (for myself) that taking
Thanksgiving dinners and birthday cakes and pies and (often disasterous)
dinners to "old folks homes" to be good for me.

I get to meet some people outside of my realm. That also appreciate me. That
want to talk. Not about engineering stuff.

Just show up with a pie and a smile - and ... you realize that: 1) everything
isn't so bad, 2) we're all going to be here (perspective), and 3) they know
more about life than you do.

Give it a try. I've been doing it for 20 years. After my girlfriend at the
time ended up a paraplegic from an accident, she ended up in rehab at one of
these places. Other than her brain, she got better and left. I keep going
back. YMMV.

EDIT: My point is-- you aren't the only lonely person out there. Sometimes you
have to take the first step to make a friend. Even outside of your realm of
experience.

------
lisper
Loneliness is a vicious self-perpetuating cycle. It makes you depressed, which
makes you want to wallow in self-pity, which makes people not want to be
around you, which isolates you, which make you lonelier, which makes you more
depressed.

The only way to break the cycle (and I apologize if this sounds harsh, but
it's really the only way) is to just give yourself a swift kick in the pants
and fucking DO something about it, and I don't mean posting on HN about how
lonely you are. You have to actually GO somewhere where there are people and
INTERACT with them in a positive way. Smile. Introduce yourself. Take interest
in them. Listen. It hardly matters where you go or what you do. Just pick a
random meetup near you and go. Or volunteer somewhere. Or just go to a random
homeless person and offer to buy them a meal. The key is to project a positive
attitude. This will be exceptionally difficult at first because every neuron
in your brain is telling you that YOU are the one who needs to be listened to,
the world has abandoned YOU, it's all about YOU. Well, guess what: you are not
the only one who feels that way. EVERYONE feels that way at one time or
another. You have to force yourself past those feelings and smile even though
it's the most unnatural thing in the world for you to do right now. It feels
like a lie.

But trust me, this feeling will be temporary. It might take more than one
session, but eventually the mere act of smiling and listening to people will
make them want to interact with you, and THAT will make the depression and the
loneliness go away. And after a while it will start to work even when you are
alone!

One disclaimer: depression can be very serious. It can be so serious that it
does not respond to this kind of self-help. If you try this and it doesn't
work, get counseling. There are professionals out there who can help. But
whatever you do, don't succumb to the temptation to numb the pain by inaction.
You can't get yourself out of a hole by curling up into a ball.

~~~
Giorgi
This is useless, you can't "just smile" when you have depression, that's not
how it works. You can't "just snap out of it"

~~~
lisper
I'm not saying that "just smiling" is a magic incantation that will somehow
make your depression vanish instantly. But you _can_ "just smile" when you're
depressed. It's not easy, but it's possible. I know because I've been there.
The important thing about smiling is not what it does to _you_ (although it
turns out that merely smiling actually _can_ make you feel better in and of
itself) but what it does to those you interact with: it conceals the fact that
you're depressed, and makes them more likely to want to interact with you, and
_that_ is what actually helps. But yes, it can take a little while to get over
the hump.

------
ZenFounder
What you're feeling is so very common among solo founders. I'm glad you're
talking about it here. It is one of the most important conversations founders
need to be having. Isolation has the power to undo you and your business. Like
others have said co-working, masterminds, volunteering- those are all helpful
ways to connect to other founders. We at
[https://zenfounder.com/](https://zenfounder.com/) run ZenTribe groups for
founders. Our groups are small and co-facilitated by me (a psychologist) and
an experienced founder. There's also
[https://mastermindjam.com/](https://mastermindjam.com/) which helps people
find a mastermind. Smallish conferences are a helpful way to make some friends
that you can keep in touch with:
[https://rhodiumweekend.com/](https://rhodiumweekend.com/) and
[http://www.microconf.com/](http://www.microconf.com/) are oriented toward
connecting people and encourage people to form masterminds. It's so important
to reach out. Don't stop trying to figure out how to get connected.

~~~
ivm
One more: [http://discuss.bootstrapped.fm/](http://discuss.bootstrapped.fm/)

------
dustin
Get yourself into a mastermind group with 2-5 others in a similar situation -
solo founders, bootstrappers, etc. You can start with just 1 other person then
add more.

Have a regular 1 hour video call every week or two. Everyone gives updates,
support, and keeps each other accountable on goals.

Keep a Slack/Skype channel open in between to say hi, help each other, share
wins, etc. Bonus points for meeting locally, but online is fine.

Why? Masterminds are the biggest thing I did going from wantreprenur to
actually shipping & earning from products. They're also one of the best things
you can do to beat entrepreneurial loneliness. Every week you meet other
people who share your struggles and are invested in your success.

Here's a good resource for running one:
[https://taylorpearson.me/mastermind/](https://taylorpearson.me/mastermind/)

If you find at least 1 other person willing to do this (a few candidates on
this thread already, or make a FB / LinkedIn post) I'll happily join the first
one to facilitate & show how. Email in profile.

P.S. A coworking space + online communities like founder cafe, product people,
complice, wip.chat (h/t other posters) can also be super helpful.

~~~
perlgeek
Somewhat related: There's a mastermind group that publishes their sessions as
podcasts (and I think on youtube too), called the "entreprogrammers". Some
time ago they started to organize spinoff groups, and are occasionally looking
for new folks. Check out
[http://entreprogrammers.com/](http://entreprogrammers.com/)

One thing I like about listening to this is that you really hear about the
struggles, not just the successes.

------
hluska
I don't know the answer to your question, but I'm Greg. I have been a small
town solo founder (and a small town co-founder), so I likely know what you're
going through. My email is in my profile - reach out if you'd like to talk.

------
ryandrake
This thread is such a stark and welcome contrast to the dozens of "remote work
is the one true way" and "open offices are bad in all ways" threads that seem
to pop up here every few weeks. For extroverts (or in my case, introvert-
deliberately-turned-extrovert) energy, creativity and innovation are fueled by
human interaction. I consider going solo, couped up in your sterile, quiet
home office, to be a certain path to failure. I'm glad to finally have a
discussion here where this is being recognized!

~~~
59nadir
> I consider going solo, couped up in your sterile, quiet home office, to be a
> certain path to failure.

You say you're happy to have a contrast to the usual, but here you are sort of
arguing for the other extreme. There are plenty of people who have made
amazing things in isolation and work well under those conditions. The point
here is that not everyone is the same.

------
goatherders
My friend Sherry is a counselor specifucally working with startup founders.
Her husband Rob is the founder of Drip (and probably hangs out here) . She
offers individual counseling and has some great group programs so you know you
aren't alone in the challenges you face. I can not recommend her enough.

[https://zenfounder.com](https://zenfounder.com)

~~~
danschumann
Wow, her content looks really great. Thanks for sharing!

~~~
goatherders
This is a real thing. And she has told me that the most common thing she works
with is people thinking they are alone. And they are! Because the specific
challenges founders face are unique to them and that compounds the feeling of
"no one understands." But that doesn't mean community and counsel can't help
immensely.

If you feel this way please get in touch with Sherry or listen to her podcasts
and read the content. It can change your perspective and help embolden you.

------
dennis_jeeves
Digressing a bit: It's very lonely at the 'top' is a phrase I have heard
decades back. You are not alone.

Any person who takes on tasks where there is high degree of uncertainty will
feel lonely because the vast majority of people around you do not do that or
even have the mindset to do that. In short even if you were surrounded by a
lot of caring people, you may not be able to relate to them. I think you will
get substantial mileage if the support group is trying to solve a similar
problem as your are, but you may not, if their domain of work is significantly
different than yours.

------
dlevine
I would suggest meeting up with real people rather than doing video chat.
There is something much more satisfying about meeting in person.

When I used to work alone, I had to schedule regular social interactions to
keep from getting lonely (coffee or lunch with friends, meetups, etc...)

It's important to focus on your startup, but it's impossible to do that unless
you take care of your mental (and physical) health.

------
segmondy
I started a slack group for those of us that got rejected for YC, but no one
participated so I shut it down. I'm also a solo founder in need of a support
network. This is not about working around people but meeting up once a week
for about an hour or so and sharing our progress and struggles and encouraging
each other. Glad to know you are not alone. My email is on my profile. Ping
me, anyone else interested should email as well.

~~~
goatherders
Seriously, check out zenfounder.com. it's literally support groups for startup
founders.

------
neom
When [https://chat.meatspac.es/](https://chat.meatspac.es/) was busy, it was
really good for this. Not sure lonely is a small town thing, it's both a
founder thing and, well... a human thing. I'd guess we're all pretty lonely.
:)

~~~
soneca
Not sure about OP, but im having fun there! Thanks for posting

------
praulv
If you're into exercise and working out, try going OUT (shopping, cafe, people
mingling, malls) in the 2-3 hours right after a workout. Your energy levels
are raised, you're a lot more vocal, relaxed and "open" along with a positive
physical glow and a smile on your face. You are at peak likelihood of engaging
in small talk with people in this state.

------
notlisted
I'd like a place where I could log in and see people working. The
[https://complice.co/rooms](https://complice.co/rooms) stuff (just chat, no
cams) mentioned above/below is an interesting concept. Pomodoro timers. X mins
push, Y mins talk. Shame the rooms are empty.

~~~
hindsightbias
This gave me an idea. Anyone need a virtual supervisor?

People could check in with you every few hours and ask you about the progress
on your TPS Reports.

All just for 5% of your startup.

~~~
exikyut
I remember reading how someone actually did this. They hired someone from
craigslist to sit with them at a coffee shop, quietly watch what they were
doing, and poke them to stay on task if they got distracted. It worked out
ridiculously well.

------
austinjp
In addition to the suggestions about sitting in cafes, I'd suggest you look at
places like museums and art galleries. In the UK at least, many have members'
rooms. An annual membership plus guest might be in the region of £100-200.
Beyond the benefits people have listed with cafes, your money will be going to
a good place. Shop around. Some places are great, and with the +1 membership
you can even invite a business partner. Or ask your friends to see if someone
would benefit from coming along with you.

Far cheaper than typical startup desk-rental.

~~~
chrisper
And what do you do when sitting in cafes? In Switzerland it seems kind of a
taboo to just talk up random strangers... The one thing I miss from the US.

~~~
austinjp
Actually in the gallery/museum setting I mention I have talked with plenty of
strangers. Maybe that's just me. There is no doubt an air of "who the hell are
you?" sometimes but it passes with friendly chat. Plenty of people at the
surrounding tables are running small IT or creative startups, it turns out.

------
mindcrime
Video chat, not sure. But somebody recently setup a Slack workspace[1] for
this crowd. There's almost nobody on it yet, but if you want to jump on you're
welcome.

If you're interested, check out
[https://electricautomata.slack.com/](https://electricautomata.slack.com/)

If you need to be invited, give me a shout, I think I can invite people.

[1]:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15600749](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15600749)

------
api
Where are you? If you are a solo founder I highly recommend co-working spaces
that have other entrepreneurs. Doesn't feel solo anymore.

If you are in Orange County CA check out this place:

[http://peoplespace.us](http://peoplespace.us)

We (ZeroTier) and many others are residents. As a bonus it features a 3d
printing lab, a martial arts dojo (which somehow fits with hackers), and
regular meetings of loads of hacker meetups and hackathons and the like.

~~~
MentallyRetired
Hey, shout out to peoplespace! I've been by there but didn't fully take
advantage of it. I used to live right at main and jamboree, and later at
55/macarthur. :)

------
acangiano
There is a site where you can co-work with someone. They do their thing. You
do yours. Can't remember the name.

Edit: I was thinking of
[https://www.focusmate.com](https://www.focusmate.com), which has live
streaming.

~~~
Artistry121
Check out Complice and Ultraworking

~~~
notlisted
[https://complice.co/rooms](https://complice.co/rooms)

------
coupdejarnac
I work at a coffee shop with a few other solo entrepreneurs. It helps everyone
stay sane. In the past I went to a coworking space, but I finally got tired of
the wantrapreneur atmosphere. I go back there once in a while to reconnect
with friends.

------
sytelus
\- Find and go to conferences. This is really the best way to meet like-minded
people in the same field.

\- Check out meetup.com. Lots of crap and there and mostly uninteresting but
there are few gems for startups and tech people.

\- Hang out in downtown areas of nearest cities on weekend. You probably won't
be doing anything but its still great feeling to be in crowd and people
watching. Most cities have some list of trendy places.

\- In your areas of outdoor interests find local groups. For example, hiking,
mountaineering, caving etc. This is one of the best way to build deep
relationship with great folks.

------
fpisfun
I work remotely for my current job and am also working on a startup so I can
relate to the feelings of loneliness.. I intentionally took a remote work job
to try to figure out more about myself and what I really want long-term.
Establishing a routine helps a lot, for example I like to use a standing desk
at home for a couple hours but after that I'm usually about to go crazy so I
go out to work in public, usually a coffee shop. Then, from there I may stay
out the rest of the day, switching venues at least once, or come back home
depending on how I'm feeling. Then I to to go to the gym when I'm done
working. This seems to have helped my feel a lot better than when I would just
stay home all day. Another thing I've realized is I hate the area I live
because I have to drive everywhere and being able to walk places makes me much
happier so I'm figuring how to eventually move somewhere that's a better fit.
Also, I've gotten into traveling, I have a little camper I travel with
sometimes and work in that. I basically do the exact same routine when
traveling but just the added stimulation of being somewhere different. I've
developed a lot of interest in learning about how the brain works and one
thing I've read is that the main purpose of having complex brains is for motor
control and movement, I don't have a good source off the top of my head but
it's an easy topic to look up. Basically, though, what I take from it is that
it's hard for most people to truly be happy sitting idle in one place all day
because it's very unnatural.

------
lordzeus
from an Indian prospective, I feel the same!I can't afford co working spaces.
working from home lead to loneliness. loneliness leads to depression and
constant anxiety. also being in India, there are minuscule number of
therapists and still going to a therapist is frowned upon!

------
nevi-me
I have an accountability thing with a few close people in my life.

I commit to them that I'll do X items this week, and we catch up on them each
few days. It helps me with keeping promises to myself and others, since I
picked up bad habits during my depression's worst states.

It doesn't help with loneliness, but at least you have a person to talk to
about what you're doing.

If you're working only on your startup, I'd recommend not burning too much
time on it, and using the other time on other activities with other people.

------
taylorhou
I'm not in a small town but definitely in a small founder community. I'm my
username at pretty much everything. Reach out and happy to be of whatever help
I can be as well.

------
deathtrader666
Check out FocusMate. It has been helping me for the past few weeks.

focusmate.com

~~~
notlisted
Interesting concept. I sometimes work with friends, little or no talk, or chat
that doesn't require brain bandwidth, also using appear.in (great service)

------
andreyazimov
Hey man, I understand you! Let's make a skype call if you want :) my Skype:
azimov.andrey

------
notyetdeveloper
[https://wip.chat/](https://wip.chat/) is a new community of makers that I
keep seeing around the Twitters

~~~
segmondy
It's $10 a month.

~~~
swyx
and if its good, that's cheap. absurd to just talk about price without
thinking about value. pple spend more on netflix.

------
smilesnd
I would do meetups, hackerspace/makerspaces, cons, and something that has
nothing to do with whatever you are trying to do. Taking breaks from your work
is just as important as working itself. If you are single I would also suggest
grindr/tinder which ever pulls your rope. They are not just about quick
hookups(%80 of it is), but you can find someone just to get a bit to eat with
and talk about whatever you want and such.

------
narenkeshav
Looking for similar minded people to team up with. Anyone would like to chat,
get to know each other for building an idea (consumer focus), please drop a
line here. narenkeshav at gmail

We shall discuss a lot, just like dating. [https://blog.angel.co/how-to-pick-
a-co-founder-a984b704d0cb](https://blog.angel.co/how-to-pick-a-co-
founder-a984b704d0cb)

------
nilsocket
I always want to be alone, but sometimes I fear, I may end up really being
alone my whole life. (I.e., I may never be able to find a partner myself.)

I like to talk with someone who has a good character, and probably I prefer a
CS partner.

I love to have perfection in many things, I don't want to do, anything stupid
with my life-partner. This perfection of mine may lead to something bad.

~~~
sah2ed
You have to learn that you need to strike a balance between wanting to be left
_alone_ (while productive) but not to the point that you are abandoned by
friends and loved ones that you become _lonely_.

You need to make time to do things that will allow you meet new people: visit
the library, gym, etc but keep in mind good character is relative. Please
accept that although you seem to have the tendency to want to make things
perfect before shipping, you'll never to be able to truly ship one.

Oh, and you'll make stupid mistakes. It's unavoidable, that's part of what
makes all of us human. Better to accept it and view embarrassing mistakes as a
learning opportunity.

------
neilk
I’ve participated in two or three solopreneur / side-project groups (and even
started one myself). I don’t think they work.

I’ve seen friendships forged by volunteering together on the same thing. But
not by people working in proximity on different things.

Coworking spaces have worked out for me but only by giving me access to job
opportunities.

------
kmf
Seen a couple Slack suggestions – you might fit in well w/ the Hello, Remote
crowd: it's a Slack group I put together for remote workers. Lots of startup
people there, join us!

[https://helloremote.life/](https://helloremote.life/)

~~~
tuxxy
It gave me a 503 door when I clicked "Join Us"

~~~
MentallyRetired
Same.

~~~
kmf
Sorry about that! Had some issues w/ the now.sh deploy I was using. I've moved
it to Heroku–the "Join Us" button should point to the right place on the home
page, or you can go to [https://helloremote-
invite.herokuapp.com/](https://helloremote-invite.herokuapp.com/) directly.

------
redm
I think this is one of the biggest problems of "remote" work teams vs. in
office teams. I know it's not exactly what you asked, but it really gets at
the same problem -> being connected to people (IRL) you can talk to about what
is eating your life.

------
LandR
I work remotely in a shared working space, but I'm the only person from my
company there.

I thought it would better than working from home, on my own all the time, but
in a way it ends up worse. I'm in an office with a load of other people but I
can't talk to any of them. It can feel a lot more isolating than if I was just
sitting alone at home.

The only time I see friends is at weekends, so if I don't go out on one
weekend, I can easily go 6 days a week without having a face to face chat with
an actual real person.

It's been a big shift from my previous company where going to work felt like
going and hanging out with my mates.

I'm not sure how long I'll be able to do this, I feel it can't be good for
your mental health long term.

------
doyoulikeworms
I’m not sure if this is the right place to share this, but loneliness as an
entrepreneur was painful and was extremely bad for my mental health. When I
give it another go, it will be after having secured a much better set of
relationships.

------
peatmoss
When I was recovering from being in a PhD program (I was experiencing pretty
extreme isolation), my wife and I re-started aikido. Dojo has been a great
benefit to our lives. We get:

\- a friendly community of close-knit people who ask about your welfare if
you’re absent

\- vigorous aerobic exercise

\- A well-lit space during the dark winter months

In a lot of ways, it’s a bit like a church, but without the religion, and a
whole lot more exercise.

Also, this isn’t unique to aikido. I’ve also done judo and another style of
jujitsu and found similar experiences (albeit with a little more difficulty
finding a non-testosterone-soaked environment). Presumably other styles offer
this too.

------
tkriplean
Hi! This isn't exactly what you asked for, but our Invisible College
informally helps connect peers doing independent work. Sometimes we organize
video checkins. Eventually we're going to create a method for cohorts of
independent workers to form. These cohorts can support each other over time
with checkins to counter that loneliness of independent work.

If you want to get involved, join our Slack at [http://invisible-
slack.herokuapp.com](http://invisible-slack.herokuapp.com)

------
psergeant
Dynamite Circle is far from cheap, but I enjoy my membership. They’ll set you
up with Mastermind groups of four or five other people in the same time zone
for regular video calls, and there are frequent in-person meet ups worldwide.
Bit of a tilt towards affiliate marketer and SEO types, but there are plenty
of us with normal businesses too. Many members seem to feel that it’s their
larger support group because they don’t know many people outside of it
building their own businesses.

------
anindha
I’m in SF but always happy to do a Skype call with anyone that wants to bounce
ideas.

I’m currently working on a startup to help people that are remote so love this
type of discussion.

Email is my username at gmail.

------
JayClouse
There are a ton of great ideas here, coworking spaces, volunteering, etc.
Someone sent me this topic because it's super relevant to the work that I do
right now working with creators and entrepreneurs.

I've found that creating around other people has a ton of benefits both
personally and professionally, and so I create those spaces for people via
video chat. [https://unrealcollective.com](https://unrealcollective.com)

------
pryelluw
Shoot me an email (profile). We can talk about whatever.

~~~
pryelluw
Update: OP got in touch and we are scheduling a chat.

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andreliem
This has probably been mentioned already, but just in case checkout
indiehackers.

A slack group spun out of this for founders looking to stay accountable to
each other for a September sprint.. but now it's ongoing. Its a good place to
chat with other fellow founders, mostly devs and a few marketing. I can send
you the slack link if you like, just reply.

I work from home by myself so i get your problem!

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forkLding
Try suggesting this idea at Indie Hackers (indiehackers.com), I think there
are more founders there interested in starting something like this

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EGreg
Please remember:

Your friends don't have to do the same thing you do.

Find people whose schedule matches yours and hang out with them!

Also: go to meetups. Talk online with your developers (if you employ them)
with screensharing etc.

And your FAMILY -- the perfect opportunity to spend time with them.

Don't let American mores of individualism keep you from spending way more time
with your family.

~~~
timthelion
Personally, I find that I feel perhaps even more lonely when I talk to people
who don't understand what I do. Going out for a beer with "normal people"
doesn't help with the loneliness of having ideas which no one else
understands.

I feel that one of the main motivations/actions of an inventor is to try to
communicate their ideas with others. I feel like my entire job is to live in a
dream world, and to try to bring that dream world to the real world. So my
entire job is spent mostly totally alone in a world that doesn't even exist,
and that no one can visit.

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marojejian
We have a project called Campfire, to build video support groups around pretty
much any area, from anxiety to grief to even being a founder:

campfire.care

Sign up and indicate you want to join a founder group!

My co-founder and I are also still working on the right setup for optimizing
efficiency/cost/culture, and this discussion is great.

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muzani
I wonder if someone could just do a Twitch channel. Similar to those "study
with me" Youtube videos, but with a human on the other side.

~~~
malikNF
There's a subreddit that shares these kind of videos.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/WatchPeopleCode/](https://www.reddit.com/r/WatchPeopleCode/)

------
alrs
There is something deeply dysfunctional in our profession when people identify
as "founders" instead of "engineers".

~~~
rak00n
I don't think so. Founders are engineers who are entrepreneurs. It comes with
different set of responsibilities and risk.

------
leonroy
Solo founder here. I found the first few months of my startup so tough that I
must've googled _Successful solo founders?_ a half dozen times. I'm sure
you've done the same and there's a lot of stuff out there from PG, Altman,
Quora et al. describing how solo founders are far less likely to succeed vs
co-founders and I personally think it's not just the shared work load aspect
(which is definitely big) but the fact that is lonely at the top.

That said I can tell you what helped me:

1\. Good family and friends. Your support network is key - it will support you
both financially and emotionally. After a hard day or a bad meeting I have
someone I can talk to for advice or just to vent. Having great advisors there
to tell you when you're on track or off track is incredibly important. They
could be your SO, a successful Aunt/Uncle or even your parents.

2\. Co-working space. After several months of trying to code my prototype at
home and getting very little done compared to my previous day job where I was
very productive I realized I needed to get out the house. Try telling a three
year old 'no' when they're tugging on your finger and asking "Daddy, wanna
play?".

Co-working is an expensive option at £400 odd per month and some angel
investors will poo-poo it as a waste in those early months but for me it
literally changed my business. Not only was I able to (finally) code after
months of being stuck in a rut but just by being in close proximity to
successful professionals and attending networking events nearby I felt
energized to keep trucking.

3\. Networking. Talk to people, attend networking events (I attend 2-3 a year
at most right now so it doesn't need to be nuts to start with). These people
become your vendors, your contractors and sometimes your future mentors and
employees. A ready smile and willingness to push myself a little and chat with
folk about their companies and problems has helped me solve my own company's
problems.

4\. Save money. Sounds simple but as a solo founder you have almost HALF the
contacts a two man founding team has. Your money pool to dip into is also
considerably lower. Keep your burn rate low as possible but not too low!
Invest in your training (Safari Books, online courses). I didn't hire anyone
to help me or buy an expensive computer until I'd built my prototype and
demo'd the concept to my friends and family. Of course I'm a coder so if
you're not that might be easier said than done!

5\. Effective time management. Accept that some days just getting to your desk
and answering emails is gonna seem like you're trying to climb a mountain.
That's normal. Calendaring helped me with this - by scheduling certain
afternoons as my "Do whatever you like" period I was able to look forward to
an art exhibition or going to a beautiful library downtown and reading some
business and management books. It's different for everyone but do schedule
your week to help avoid poor time management.

There's loads of stuff you can do and I could probably write for hours on the
subject. I'd say the TLDR; is to have a good support network since flying solo
is emotionally tough and to have a productive space where you can work.

------
opensports
Feel free to email me james@opensports.net and happy to talk. =) Working non-
stop/being a founder is often lonely.

------
coderpact
Try [https://www.coderpact.com/](https://www.coderpact.com/)

------
Dowwie
"Battle is the Great Redeemer, the fiery crucible in which the only true
heroes are forged."

------
plainOldText
Shoot me an email as well if you need someone to talk to. Cheers!

------
sjg007
Talk to your customers. They should be your best friends.

~~~
ericd
Ehhh while I agree that you should talk to your customers, you need real
relationships, not transactional ones.

------
jondubois
"If you need a friend, get a dog."

Or if you want human friends, be an employee at a corporation and you will
find plenty of colleagues to make friends with.

Otherwise, toughen up. If it was easy, everyone could do it.

~~~
ericd
As a former solo founder, "just toughen up" is very bad advice. It's not
something to just power through, and trying is likely to be bad for your
mental health. Much better advice would be to get a cofounder and/or join a
startup program or some other group of peers.

------
knodi
Coffee shops and go to meet ups after work.

------
knodi
Coffe shops and go to meet ups after work.

------
smallhands
anybody working with or thinking about tenorflow i will love to talk watever
email tejioford@yahoo.com

------
skython
Years ago I created a public TeamSpeak server to meet and talk to people with
the same coding interests. It never got much attention, but it's still online
at devcon5.org. It's a voice group chat where you can create your own
channels, but has no video features.

