
Meetup Golf - a game I play to keep myself from networking wrong - ledwards
http://blog.ledwards.com/blog/2013/07/28/meetup-golf/
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_sentient
I've personally found most networking events to be terrible when it comes to
making meaningful connections.

I've found it's much more effective to just email someone you're interested in
connecting with, introduce yourself, and invite them meet up sometime for a
coffee (or beer, depending on the time of day).

If they say yes, it's because they are also interested in what you're doing,
and this acts as a quality filter to ensure you're both moderately aligned in
your interests and not wasting each other's time. Plus, the one-on-one setting
lends itself to more interesting and personal conversations, which tends to
have the friend-building effect the original author appeals to.

Networking doesn't come naturally to most people, but being friendly and
personable usually does. I find that combining the two removes some of the
awkwardness, and makes your efforts that much more effective.

~~~
osetinsky
The one-on-one aspect is huge. Our startup is trying to facilitate these kinds
of informational coffee meetings:

Treatings: www.treatin.gs

We think there's something special about dating sites as compared to, say,
Facebook or LinkedIn: everyone who has signed up has implicitly opted in to
the possibility of being contacted by strangers to possibly meet up offline
(though they aren't guaranteeing anything). Knowing that people have opted in
like this makes most people more comfortable reaching out to strangers.

~~~
justinsteele
"Treatings account created! We are currently beta testing in New York City and
will notify you when we open elsewhere."

I'm based in Portland, ME but am often in NYC. I presume there is no simple
way to use the site yet for me?

~~~
osetinsky
not yet - we'll be in touch with you in the next month or so about it opening
everywhere. thanks!

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Aco-
I prefer my method of "meetup golf", it's a little different than this one.

In my version of 'meetup golf' you basically go play golf, meet people who
enjoy golf while doing so, ask them what they do for work, and 1/2 the time
they are in tech or some form of tech (YMMV depending on where you live & play
golf). At the end of the round you shake their hand and say "It was nice
meeting you. Hey, listen, if you ever want to play golf in the future or need
anything at all feel free to contact me" \-- hand them your business card, 9
times out of 10 they will connect on linkedin or shoot an email thereafter.

You now have more in common with them than just your profession, you also
share a hobby. Also consider there is a 19th hole in golf. This is a far
better way to meet, befriend, and build a network that holds some weight.

~~~
rdouble
I wonder where you live. Golf is very unpopular with most tech people I know.

~~~
Aco-
NY/NJ, I didn't say they were very young :P

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w3pm
One thing I've wondered -- rather than spending so much effort building an
extensive network, why not build a very small network of solid connections...
with people who have lots of connections?

In any industry there are those individuals who seem to "know everyone," have
been next to many industry-shifting moments one way or another, have worked at
a half-dozen of the most important companies, etc etc. It's clear that a large
part of their time is spent networking (after all, it's a hard job), and a
large part of their value is as a connector. As an added bonus, because
they're a connector and value having lots of connections, they should be open
to the idea of getting to know you and forming another connection.

Why not just make connections with 6,7,8 of those people and then be done?
You'd be one hop away to almost everyone in your industry with far less effort
than actually getting to know everyone in your industry. Anyway, just
theorizing at a more efficient way of networking. Agreed on the article's
premises that a real network is with people you know as human beings.

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totti
All this requires I "go with a friend or two" to make more friends ... where
do I find the initial friends :(

~~~
solistice
Not neccesairily. I did some small stints in the whole nightlife, promoting,
etc. buisiness when I was 15, and knew noone. With 16, I considered myself
pretty well connected in that crowd. You really have to go out your way to be
"awesome", but it will get positive attention, and you'll slowly get to know
the whole social circle around a given metier.

In retrospect, i had a weird childhood.

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basicallydan
Lee - I love this article. I think everybody should read it just to get the
idea that this whole 'networking' thing can get pretty lame at times.

I like the way you explain it - but basically, just, "go make friends" is the
advice, right? In case you're interested in the writings of someone with a
similar point of view, I wrote a similar post, slightly rantier, a year or so
ago: [http://danielhough.co.uk/blog/human-business-card-
jar/](http://danielhough.co.uk/blog/human-business-card-jar/)

~~~
ledwards
Thanks, Dan. Great article as well. Love the title ;)

Yeah, I think my basic message is to be a little more human in your dealings
at networking events. In that way, I think we're both talking about the same
thing. I'm embarrassed to admit that before I knew any better, I could have
been Percy in your story. Thanks for the good read.

~~~
basicallydan
The key thing I was trying to say was that Percy needs to be less zealous :)

We've all been there - I'm still learning, too, and I definitely learned
something from your words!

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hawkharris
I agree with the author's criticism of LinkedIn. My biggest problem with the
service is its default placeholder text for connection requests ("David Smith
would like to connect with you...").

To me this takes all of the fun and excitement out of networking, not to
mention the clarity. When I network with people face-to-face, I always get a
sense of how they may want to work with me in the future. E.g. Maybe they're a
designer; I'm a programmer; we could collaborate on X kind of project.

LinkedIn's placeholder text makes connections seem generic and less useful.
Today I received five networking requests, but, unlike with real-life
networking, I have no clear idea of why the people are reaching out to me.

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lifeisstillgood
I was about to drop 600 quid on a membership to a local networking group
(BNI).

This has reminded me that networking is primarily a peer group thing, and
otherwise it's, well, marketing

So, coffee mornings I guess

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cpncrunch
Excellent article. I'm certainly not an expert networker myself, but I would
agree that being friendly with your business associates is very important to
future business. It doesn't mean you necessarily need to hang out with them -
even just chatting a little bit about personal stuff once in a while helps to
oil the wheels of business. People are human after all, and most people prefer
doing business with people they like.

