
Ask HN: 21-year-old coder recent grad has no idea what to do with his life - thrwwow
I am 21-year-old coder who has recently graduated with the highest degree (like it matters), got a job that starts in a few weeks, and I just don&#x27;t know... I am just sad. I am not sure what to do with my life. I&#x27;ve always wanted and always believed that I would do something special, something interesting, create my own startup or work for one that I truly believed in even if it had only 1 percent chance of making a huge impact. But instead I had to do a reality check and find a job. And this job of mine just does this software for money, nothing special, it&#x27;s just business... I tried reaching out interesting companies, but I was unsuccessful, because I am terrible at socializing and blew those interviews even though I was successful at technical stuff. I have to feel lucky I got this boring job at all. And I must take this work, who else is going to pay my bills. I&#x27;ve been coding since probably like 12-13 years old, I&#x27;ve created dozens of projects but they were all unsuccessful. Realizing that you are just an average guy who will be just as everyone else, and you&#x27;ll never ever create something that truly changes the world and has impact on it is fucking scary. I really enjoy implementing my own ideas into software even if I know it&#x27;ll be most likely unsuccessful, I can spend hours and hours just coding, and I love it. However, I haven&#x27;t had any unique (at least a little bit) ideas in months, and it&#x27;s killing me. And now with starting a 40-hours a week job I&#x27;ll probably be tired to think of anything new or code something for my own pleasure. I just don&#x27;t know. I am not sure what I am asking here with this terrible non-sequential writing. Maybe for an advice, or maybe I just wanted it to get it off my chest. Ah, life sucks being ordinary. And it&#x27;s so funny, people elsewhere have real problems, like what to eat for dinner, or how to survive a war, and I&#x27;m just sitting here, being privileged pretentious asshole with self-made problems. Omg, I am an idiot.
======
anigbrowl
See a shrink, that's what they're there for. I promise you the course of your
life is not set in stone at 21. It is _perfectly OK_ to just bank money for a
year or two while you try to figure out what you would like to to do and mess
around with ideas in your spare time. You might meet your future business
partner at this job you're about to take up, or any number of other
interesting possibilities.

There's no need to be so hard on yourself. You don't go about dismissing other
people because they haven't reached the pinnacle of success at 21, do you?

~~~
ibdthor
This is absolutely spot-on correct. Your life is so far from set in stone at
age 21 that you won't believe how different 21 is from even age 25, just a few
years down the road. The grass will always seem a bit greener elsewhere, but
that's human nature, especially when you've just graduated college. When I
graduated, I had a top notch degree (like it matters), but I didn't even have
a good job that paid the bills easily. It was what I thought I really wanted
to work in, what I thought I should be doing, so I took a huge pay cut to be a
low-level researcher. I was so jealous of my friends who graduated and took a
"boring job" that paid triple what mine did, who got benefits and bonuses, and
did exactly what @anigbrowl said - they banked money for a few years and it
set them up for so much success. They fostered their own interests on the
side, paid off any debt or loans they had, got cars or houses, and saved up
their money. Without fail, all of those friends found jobs they enjoyed far
more (some of them through connections at that boring job they didn't like in
the first place), jobs that let them have a greater impact on the world, and
jobs that were more in line with their interests as they evolved through their
20s. And again without fail, none of them accurately predicted the direction
their lives and passions would go from the time they were 21 until now.

I did the same thing, but without the added benefit of making any money like
you're doing now. I had such a strong notion of what I wanted to do, and as I
spent more time messing around with ideas in my spare time and learning more
about what I wanted for myself, those notions changed so radically that I went
from stem cell research to IDEs in a matter of years. The thing that helped me
the most were the people around me. I was able to talk out all my thoughts and
worries and anxieties. I was able to share in other people's interests and
passions to see if maybe those were mine too. It made me feel like I wasn't
alone, like things weren't hopeless, and like I had the potential to be
extraordinary if I wanted to be. Ultimately the things that have truly begun
to define my life came from utterly unexpected places, and almost entirely
from the cast of friends and family around me.

Hang in there, the path gets clearer.

------
wwweston
It is a little scary to realize that your life/story may not be uniquely
valued by many many people (although it's far to early to conclude that for
certain). But that doesn't at all mean that you can't live a life that's
valuable to _you_ and be uniquely valued by people you value too.

"There’s this primary America of freeways and jet flights and TV and movie
spectaculars. And people caught up in this primary America seem to go through
huge portions of their lives without much consciousness of what’s immediately
around them. The media have convinced them that what’s right around them is
unimportant. And that’s why they’re lonely. You see it in their faces. First
the little flicker of searching, and then when they look at you, you’re just a
kind of an object. You don’t count. You’re not what they’re looking for.
You’re not on TV [haven't founded a startup/haven't built a famous app/changed
the world].

But in the secondary America we’ve been through, of back roads, and Chinaman’s
ditches, and Appaloosa horses, and sweeping mountain ranges, and meditative
thoughts, and kids with pinecones and bumblebees and open sky above us mile
after mile after mile, all through that, what was real, what was around us
dominated. And so there wasn’t much feeling of loneliness." \- Pirsig, _Zen
and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance_

~~~
Red_Tarsius
What a beautiful quote, thank you for sharing it. I recently got the book, but
hadn't the time to read it yet. Your comment is a deal breaker!

------
yason
I know that coding just for business can suck big time.

So, that's called life.

During life you do spend a lot of time wondering what the heck you are doing
here after all. Some people say the point is not to find the meaning of life
but to make your life meaningful. Others prefer to just enjoy the ride and
make the most of it. Your mileage may vary and nobody knows what paths your
life will want to take.

But there's one thing that makes life so vivid and that is death.

Without death you would never reach even a partial conclusion of what to do
here because you just wouldn't be bothered to and you would be procrastinating
instead for your whole life. Death conveniently and equally applies to
everyone, and it makes you think about what really matters for you in your
life.

The unescapable end of your life may seem like a long way ahead for someone
who's 21 years old but when you're older it feels that was just a moment ago
when you actually were 21. Years go by quicker than you think, and each year
you will be thinking about it more and, most importantly, prioritizing your
life accordingly.

Some people see it coming early, and make a better life of theirs after that
realization. Some people hit it late, but that's all right too because
_eventually you will_ not only merely know but also realize, with all the
cells in your body, that you won't be here forever. For real. And why that
matters is because you know you can't fool yourself anymore.

And suddenly then some things don't matter anymore and other things really
start to matter. You will see for yourself at the time but I'm willing to bet
a lot that your career won't be one of your key questions.

Rather, it sounds to me that what you were really worrying about was whether
you will "never ever create something that truly changes the world". But that
may or may not involve your career: you don't know it yet. Life unfolds in
most unexpected ways: if only you go with whatever works for you, you will
bump into something that _truly changes your world_.

And it is then you know what you will do with the rest of your life.

~~~
siphr
Very well thought out and expressed.

------
josephschmoe
To be honest, I think you could really benefit from having a good office job.
Office work can greatly improve your ability to focus and complete tasks.

Before I took an office job, I could make small projects but couldn't program
beyond maybe 1000 lines of code without running into trouble. At my job, I
learned to be a great programmer, an engineer and a software architect. I
became focused and patient. It is often a necessary right of passage for those
'great engineers' and 'people who change the world' to work in an office. It
can take years, but you can become a better engineer than you ever dreamed you
could be.

Trust me on this: you might like it a lot more than you think.

~~~
j45
Building discipline and consistency to do the tasks you don't value but need
to be done are a huge skill necessary for any kind of success in any position,
startup or otherwise.

------
jcmurrayii
I know this might seem a little assinine...but...

You are 21. Give yourself a bit of time to ramp up to 'changing the world'.
Its going to take time. Its going to take working those 'boring' jobs to make
your bones, improve your skillset, develop what you need in order to do that
truly impactful stuff.

Highest honors? Great! You know how to code. I can guarantee you though, there
are a 1,001 other things that a classical comp sci degree hasn't prepared you
for in the business world, while working with teams of other developers. Take
the time. Enjoy the time. Learn from other's mistakes, learn from the business
mistakes that happen in the companies you work for, and learn from your boss,
your leads, etc. In 5-10 years...take on changing the world, with a toolbelt
of useful things you have learned, and a much more realistic view of the world
around you.

You are just getting started. I know the tech world makes it seem like any of
us can just EXPLODE onto the scene, change the world, make millions, but in
reality this career path is no more a shortcut to insane riches than any
other, and the same rules apply. We have our flukes (Insane purchases from
startups) but those are the exception, not the the rule.

Welcome to life, my friend, its a little rough around the edges, its not what
we dreamed it would be, but it's the only one we've got.

------
crazypyro
Don't take this the wrong way, but do you have a social life? Maybe go to some
programming meetups? Your 40-hour week job doesn't have to define the rest of
your life. You could try to expand your interests outside of programming and
meet people that are not technically inclined. This is where so many startups
begin. You have to engage with new people to be able to know where the
problems are before you can solve them.

I've had some luck with meetups.com and going to a couple of them. For
example, I recently joined a non-profit that makes/helps maintain other non-
profits full stack websites. Even though the programming isn't challenging, I
get enjoyment from the idea of helping others. Try to broaden your interests.
You (and me) are only 21. We have our entire lives ahead of us. You know a
highly marketable skill, so you don't have to worry about getting a job. You
can shape your own adventure, make your own life and do stuff that makes your
happy.

Beyond that, why don't you try to push yourself at work by taking on more work
or by creating new work for yourself? There are hundreds of posts about jobs
that are boring and how to improve them. Luckily for you, software engineers
are often given a lot of freedom to experiment.

~~~
hackerboos
meetups.com is a great way to network.

When I lived in Brighton I got to meet O'Reilly authors and core devs of
popular languages.

It's also great for building confidence (by doing talks) and getting hired.

------
ChristopherM
You're starting a job? Good, so your education is just beginning. It took
about 5 years for me to feel comfortable, and really become proficient at
software engineering. The job is not an end.

Years 5 through 12, I developed my skills in project management and people
management. Being able to code is one thing, being able to plan out a project
takes it to a whole new level. Instead of a 5-10k line of code project you are
now working on 100-500k LOC projects.

In my late 30's I am now off on my own, started my own company and I am close
to releasing my first product. The keys to making this happen are the
extremely valuable experience I acquired by "just being an employee", also I
saved about $200k before I quit "working for the man".

Getting a job is not an end, like I said it's the beginning. How much you
learn from the experience is up to you. If you really want to eventually do
something big focus on making every situation a learning opportunity, also
don't get sucked in by the lifer's. Don't waste money on fancy cars, don't buy
a house, don't get married. If you tie yourself down with debt and
responsibilities you may very well find yourself working for the man until you
retire.

------
cliveowen
I think sooner or later it had to happen, there's a time when everyone
realizes they're not so special after all and all those idiots working 9-to-5
like drones are actually people like you and me who also thought their life
would be an amazing journey, but then reality came knocking and yanked the rug
from under their feet. I guess it's good you realized this now instead of
later.

------
difc
Act I: The Setup

In this the protagonist discovers he is special, exceptional. He devotes time
to thinking and researching career goals and world-changing ideas. Dreaming of
reification and being lauded as the (Gauss|Galois|Mozart) of his generation,
the present may be bleak, but the future is glorious.

Act II: The Crisis

In this, the protagonist discovers that he is challenged for his position.
Others, caught up in the race of life, don't look deeply to see his talent,
and communion with the muses is precious only as long as it relates to
engineering goals. He is human, suffering financial and relational setbacks,
feeling the muses have deserted him and he is fully mortal after all.

Act III: The Resolution

In this, the protagonist discovers he is not alone. Others around him, few to
be sure, are equally talented and working to achieve their purpose. Perhaps
he's at the 99.9th percentile and realizes there are still 6 million
contemporaneous peers. Einstein, Crick, and Jobs all went through this before
their breakthroughs. The protagonist finds a passion, gives it his heart and
soul, and achieves Movement I of his life story.

------
mseebach
Nobody expects a 21 year old to have his life figured out and nobody expects
21 year olds to change the world on day one. Do your new job, try to do well,
there's tons of skills to be learned in sustained work on the same codebase
every day as opposed to the presumably bursty pattern of university projects.
Be humble about the fact that getting a good degree is just the beginning,
nobody knows everything at 21. Just because you're working a something less
than your dream job doesn't mean your dream will never come true. Work on your
socialising skills and in 18 months do another round of applications. Or save
up some money and go sit on a beach in Thailand for two months. Whatever,
you're young. Just don't tie yourself down with car payments, mortgage, wife,
kids and golf clubs until you're ready to settle.

------
lotsofmangos
Everyone is both frenetically copying and making it up as they go along.
Nobody really knows anything. Nobody really likes to admit this fully. You are
a member of the worlds most delusional species, so don't worry about being an
idiot while trying to live up to ridiculous aspirations, this is completely
normal. All meaning is invented, don't bother searching for it but feel free
to create as much of it as you like. And if you ever think that what you are
doing is utterly pointless, don't worry, we might all get wiped out tomorrow
by a big rock. Have fun and never follow philosophical advice given out by
strangers on the internet.

------
hyperpape
When I was 21, I wasn't able to accomplish anything with massive amounts of
free time (probably a good bit less than 40 hours a week spent on college
work). When I was 26 and looking for a new career with an infant, working > 40
hours a week at a job I disliked, I was more productive.

It's a huge adjustment, and I still find myself backsliding, but you can train
yourself to dedicate that bit of time you have free to working on your own
stuff. It won't happen overnight, and you have to be understanding with
yourself when you're tired, but a 40 hour a week job doesn't limit what you
can do.

~~~
mattdotc
>you can train yourself to dedicate that bit of time you have free to working
on your own stuff. It won't happen overnight, and you have to be understanding
with yourself when you're tired, but a 40 hour a week job doesn't limit what
you can do.

I find this to be very true. When I started out in the professional world, I
rarely wanted to work at all on my own professional development after work.
After a year or so, I became much more comfortable with my responsibilities at
work and was a much more competent employee.

I found that frustration at work fueled my motivation to rise above the
'average' developer and truly master the technology stack that I currently
work in. I started identifying activities that were eating up my time and my
productivity (too much web browsing, too many games, etc). I started working
on SMALL projects with realistic scope. Completing these small projects
motivated me even more and the momentum helped me continue the trend.

Now coding outside of work is fun again, and even though I'm not changing the
world, I know it made a noticeable impact to my skills as a developer.

OP, I think a lot of us have been in a similar boat. Making the transition
into the real world can be an anxious or even scary time. Don't worry, keep
your head up and don't try to focus on all of the unknowns at a once.

Look at your current employment as an opportunity for personal growth. If you
are confident about your technical abilities, hone your interpersonal
relations instead. Use the time wisely and try to reflect on your progress as
objectively as possible. Try to find someone at work that you can get along
with and maybe ask for advice from time to time.

------
pdonis
Keep in mind that when you see stories about people who did something at your
age that has wide public recognition (like, say, Mark Zuckerberg with
Facebook), those people won the lottery. Not everybody can win the lottery,
and you shouldn't set your expectations based on people who have. You have a
_lot_ of time; don't rush.

Also, you say you've created dozens of projects but they were all
unsuccessful. Why? What caused them to fail? You might be able to use your
office job to learn skills that will help you avoid those failure modes in
future projects.

(One common failure mode, which pg talks about in many of his essays, is not
making something people want. Your office job should at least help you learn
how to do that--even if it's making what your boss wants instead of what users
want. But that still helps you get over the mental block of thinking that
whatever you have coded must be important because you coded it. If you're
coding for fun, it's fine to think that way; but if you're trying to make a
"successful" project, then you have to face the fact that you don't get to
define what success is. Don't feel bad if you have that mental block: most
coders do--I certainly do. It's just something you have to learn to deal with,
and that takes time.)

------
djuggler
1) I second anigbrowl's "see a shrink" comment. Having an adviser,
particularly when you are young, is very valuable.

2) Read some Stephen R Covey books. The best thing I ever took from Covey was
his statement about life "To live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy" When
I question myself, I ask if I am fulfilling one of those 4 goals.

3) Stay out of debt! Debt will ruin you.

4) Don't wait for tomorrow. It never comes. (To live)

5) Mentor someone (To leave a legacy)

Good luck!

------
LukeB_UK
I'm 24 and my current job (which I started in April 2013) is the only one that
I've had that that I fully enjoy. I never went to University, came out of
school at 18 to find a barren job market where I couldn't get a job because I
had no experience and couldn't get experience because I had no job.

I eventually managed to get a job (onsite IT support) after 9 months of
unemployment and held it for 2 years, until I finally got fed up of it and
decided to find a job doing web development. I found one working for a design
agency and moved out of my parents' house to go work here.

Once again, this was a boring job. I eventually ended up getting fired from
this job (due to unrealistic expectations of a junior developer on the
employer's part) and was unemployed for 8 months.

After 8 months, I started working at my current place of work, I moved closer
to work in February and really enjoy it. Best of all, I get to have an impact
on people's lives for the better (education software).

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that yes, while we all go through
shitty patches, it's those experiences that make us who we are and what we go
on to do. If you feel depressed, please go talk to someone.

Working a full work week doesn't mean you have to drop your own projects. I
still work on my own projects in my own time and I'm sure many others who work
the same amount of hours do too. Don't let a dry patch ruin it for you, you
never know when inspiration might strike next. Ideas don't come if you force
them, you just have to relax and let them come.

I'm sure I've missed a load of points, but seriously, if you want to talk my
email is in my profile.

------
j45
This is perfectly normal.

If you're feeling a moment of "that's it", if that's what you're feeling means
you can aim higher.

One of the main things not taught in school is it's not about what your degree
makes of you but what you make ofyour degree.

It's important though to appreciate opportunity, be humble, work hard and work
on building discipline and consistency in improving what you do.

Learning that we're not special, not because we're not unique, but because
everyone's special is a valuable lesson of my 20's.

By saying things aren't right here and now yoy may be implying you are done
learning and where are the results. I'd say you have quite a bit more learning
and experience gathering to do beyond what the echo chamber of funded startups
allows.

Again, this is perfectly normal, and attracts intelligent people to figure out
this gap for themselves. This opportunity is the gift. The startup of you is
the most valuable startup because it will be present in everything you do, and
those things you do, become destinations you stopped off at along the way.

If I could tell myself something at 21, it would be to shut up like I did, be
thankful for any opportunity, learn twice as fast to get half the respect,
become four times as good to get equal respect to folks twice my age, and then
become eight times as good to get ahead of where I want to be.

No one said an extraordinary life doesn't take extraordinary effort in the
right ways. Being aware of what you just wrote is really important.

Feel free to get in touch if you like, I have a similar story to yours plus
some things that I got lucky with.

------
yeukhon
> got a job that starts in a few weeks

I don't mean to be harsh, but there are recent grads like me don't have a job
yet...I did spent a few months just sitting home and think hard about what
projects I want to work on. But getting a job by passing interviews has proven
to be difficult for me...

> However, I haven't had any unique (at least a little bit) ideas in months,
> and it's killing me.

Everyone have ideas. I have tons of start-up ideas and cool open source
project ideas. I think the main problem I have is I am bad with front-end. But
I am starting to implementing some of them by just writing the backend first.

But you will benefit from having a job. Trust me. I will love to have a job
because there are always some problems to solve, instead of sitting by myself
all day. Personally, I like making tools. So whether i work in a startup or
not, there are always chances I can launch a new tool to improve the existing
procedure. Writing internal tools MAY not be my main job in the future, but it
can be a hobby and a way to promotion and recognition. It can even be open-
sourced :).

Don't be so nervous :) I hope the best for you.

------
vinceguidry
You are anything but ordinary. You have a coveted credential, a coveted job,
and coveted skills. You can do pretty much anything you want with a large
margin for error.

What I wish I'd have been able to do at your age is learn the stuff I'm
learning now. Design patterns, how to refactor. Test-driven and Behavior-
driven development. But that's just me, your problems might be different and
need a different approach.

If you don't have any ideas, learn more about the world. That will give you
ideas about what you can do in the world. Just go with your gut. Do you feel
like learning new programming techniques? Take your first paycheck and buy a
bunch of books. Do you need problems to solve? Get out and meet some people.
If there's one thing about 'people' that's remarkably consistent it's that
they all have problems. Do you just want to have more fun? Try a local bar or
save up some cash and travel.

There are tons of directions to go in the world. All you have to do to feel
fulfilled is to pick one and start moving.

------
skrebbel
> _Ah, life sucks being ordinary._

One day you'll cherish the day you realized you were ordinary.

Think about all the people who run, run, run, all their lives, chasing some
fantastic dream of success (whatever that means), only to retire _slightly_
wealthy and die of a stroke 2 weeks later. They never got that insight, and
they lost their entire lives for it.

------
ChuckMcM
I think if you talked to a counselor that might help, the problem you express
is not a-typical, you are treating life as a series of objectives and that
isn't what life is about.

So stop achieving objectives and start answering questions. Pick a question,
any question, and answer it. If you need a starter question ask this one "What
is the difference between a life well spent, and one that is wasted?" There
are a number of written works where the authors have talked about the answer.
read at least six if them, do you agree with any of them? all of them? What do
you disagree with? Why? Answer that question. Continue until you die.

------
jseip
"Realizing that you are just an average guy who will be just as everyone else,
and you'll never ever create something that truly changes the world and has
impact on it is fucking scary." First, get that idea out of your head. Second,
you seem to recognize that you are a)unhappy and b)unsure of what question
exactly you are asking or need to ask. The good news is that a skilled
therapist can help you with both of these things. Go to work, invest time in
therapy, and when you're ready you can get back to pursuing the things that
interest and excite you. Good luck!

------
hackuser
You're not an idiot and everyone reaches this moment. The shock of the post-
school world will fade; don't worry about it. Everyone who achieves great
things experiences it too.

* Move fast and break things.[1]

To learn what you like, what suits you, what you are good at and what you
aren't, the only option is to try things and fail, as much as possible. You
can't read about your life in books, you can't find out from Hacker News, and
you certainly can't rely on your friends or family to tell you. The only real
option is try-fail-try-fail-try-fail. If you aren't failing hard, you aren't
trying hard. (In both careers and relationships.) Now you can afford to take
these risks, before big commitments take priority (mortgages, employees,
family depending on your financial and emotional stability, etc. etc.).

The most important thing to learn is about yourself. 5-10 years from now,
you'll need to make life-long decisions: Marriage, career, etc. You'll need to
know yourself well enough to promise someone, at 29, that you'll still love
them at 69. Knowing yourself is crucial to choosing things that will make you
happy, and 90% of your life will be spent with your spouse and at work --
getting them right enables you to live up to the commitments you make to all
those people (spouse, children, business partners, etc.), and can feel like
more joy than any human deserves. If you don't know yourself, how can you make
a promise to anyone else?

Finally, believe in yourself. No matter what you do, there always will be
idiots telling you that you are doing it wrong. Smile and ignore them, feeling
sorry for their limitations. Like stopped clocks, they will be correct
occasionally in a literal sense (that you will fail) but wrong in every way
that matters (that you are moving forward with each failure while they stand
still, the managing of risk, etc.). Everyone is doubted, from Einstein to Jobs
(remember that he was fired) to Lincoln to MLK to prophets to saints. You
won't be any different.

Embrace the adventure! Life is what's happening now.

[1] There are many analogies. e.g., use the Agile to work out your life;
Waterfall just doesn't work -- you can't possibly know enough ahead of time.

------
sayemm
_How to Do What You Love_

"Whichever route you take, expect a struggle. Finding work you love is very
difficult. Most people fail. Even if you succeed, it's rare to be free to work
on what you want till your thirties or forties. But if you have the
destination in sight you'll be more likely to arrive at it. If you know you
can love work, you're in the home stretch, and if you know what work you love,
you're practically there." \-
[http://paulgraham.com/love.html](http://paulgraham.com/love.html)

------
franciscop
Please, try to communicate clearly. You just put a wall of text which is
really difficult to read. I'm sure you'll get more useful insights since
people will be able to read your text more easy.

------
Red_Tarsius
Dude, you're 21 yo (like me), don't be so hard on yourself. Looks like a
quarter life crisis; if you need a mail-pal to talk about it or brainstorm
ideas, feel free to contact me. :)

------
JSeymourATL
The very things that you think are holding you back, is an opportunity to do
something, make things better.

Recommend reading Ryan Holiday's the Obstacle is The Way, good food for
thought for anyone facing difficulty. Here's a podcast interview>
[http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/04/26/art-of-manliness-
po...](http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/04/26/art-of-manliness-
podcast-65-the-obstacle-is-the-way-with-ryan-holiday/)

------
palidanx
When I was 21, I started working for my first job and during those years when
I had a steady job I made sure to take a trip out of the country every year.
Now fast forward years later, I am doing a start-up and I was happy that I
took the time to travel when I was younger.

My 2 cents to you is to do good work at your job, but if you work for
corporate don't let it define you. Take some time to travel and take up some
hobbies outside of work. You never know when inspiration strikes.

------
blooberr
Since you're fairly young, you should observe your older coworkers.

Find mentors at various stages of life. Talk to them, figure out what worked
for them and what didn't. And why they're there.

If you don't like what you're hearing, take a counter-strategy. At a previous
job, I noticed most of my coworkers were out of shape, divorced, and unhappy.
Also completely out of touch with technology.

I did the opposite and I got out after a year or so.

Hope this advice helps in some fashion.

------
DanBC
Use the shitty job as a learning exercise. You'll meet people - socialise with
them. You'll see people doing stuff that could be made easier with a simple
template or script or spreadsheet - create the template, set up a tiny website
and SEO it with some ads. Learn the language used in offices. Save money.
Plan.

It feels like it sucks but you're in a good position now.

------
seekingcharlie
I don't mean this in a way of discrediting what you're saying, but I shared
similar feelings to you & thought this article was hilarious & accurate.

[http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-
are-u...](http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-
unhappy.html)

------
sarciszewski
I currently work 40 hours per week (underpaid) and recently was offered a
position that pays reasonably well. I still have time to have a social life,
work on open source projects, etc.

Don't take your 40-hours a week job as a death sentence. Take it as a way to
make ends meet while you plot your course.

------
wj
I'd recommend listening to this talk by Tina Seelig (head of the
entrepreneurship program at Stanford):

[http://ecorner.stanford.edu/authorMaterialInfo.html?mid=1549](http://ecorner.stanford.edu/authorMaterialInfo.html?mid=1549)

------
amorphic
At the risk of sounding old (I'm 34): at 21 you're still scratching your arse
and bumping into things.

You still have a great deal to learn and you will be learning for the rest of
your life. Doing technical work at any organisation, even a 'boring' one will
provide you with opportunities to learn and grow:

1) You may be a brilliant coder but you admit that you lack social ability. Do
not view this as a permanent handicap but rather a skill to be developed just
as you would a new programming language or methodology. Working as part of a
team in a professional environment will teach you to communicate and provide
opportunities to build your confidence.

2) You also admit that you have 'created dozens of projects but they were all
unsuccessful'. One of the key tenents of building a "change the world" startup
like the one that you hope to create some day is to build something that
people want and will pay for, (see the notes from Peter Theil's CS183 for more
on this: [http://blakemasters.com/peter-thiels-
cs183-startup](http://blakemasters.com/peter-thiels-cs183-startup)). Working
in a real company will teach you the importance of building great products
which customers want to buy. It might also teach you how you might convince
customers that your product is great and that they want to buy.

3) You are fortunate that you will be able to earn a professional salary at
such a young age. As mentioned in previous comments, this will allow you to
enjoy life but also to put some money aside. If you want the flexibility to do
great things, being financially independent is a huge plus, (Jimmy Wales talk
about this here: [http://www.quora.com/What-advice-would-Jimmy-Wales-give-
to-t...](http://www.quora.com/What-advice-would-Jimmy-Wales-give-to-the-young-
generation)).

4) You already have a qualification. With a couple of years of proven
experience, some open source projects and a little money up your sleeve you
will be in a great position to make your next move. That would be a great time
to do some serious travelling or even temporarily migrate to another country.
Nothing will improve your perspective more than seeing the world and the many
ways in which its citizens live their lives.

Hold on to your passion for doing great things. Don't become encumbered by
consumerism + debt. Remind yourself every day of all of the things for which
you are grateful. And above all don't fear the path you're on: the road is
long and there are still so many forks to come.

------
papaver
happiness is not obtained by achievement, its acquired by consciousness and
awareness. read way of the peaceful warrior by dan millman if you get a
chance. stumbling upon happiness is another great book, good to know how your
mind works, allows you to be aware of why you think the way you do and act
accordingly. if your bad at socializing, practice, its gets easier, just like
coding.

live a little, sounds like your already burnt out. pick up some hobbies, learn
new things. inspiration comes from strange places.

oh, and there is no need for self deprecation. everyone's got issues... accept
them, work on bettering the ones that bother you the most.

------
lostInTheWoods3
It sounds like you're burned out. Possibly, from spending way too much time in
front of your computer. You need to find some other interests, there is more
to life than writing code.

------
maxbrown
Just a few years ahead of you... I certainly haven't figured everything out,
but I'd be happy to chat with you about your situation. Email in my profile.

------
eglover
[http://youtu.be/ArKPZyfZUFs](http://youtu.be/ArKPZyfZUFs)

------
howeyc
You're special. Just like the rest of us.

The 1% club can't be inclusive, that's just how it works.

------
squidmccactus
How old are you? Get drunk and get laid. You'll be old one day if you're
lucky.

------
dwild
You are only 21 years old, you have all your life to become more than an
average guy.

------
PaulHoule
Time to chop wood and carry water.

------
sharemywin
is the highest degree a phd?

------
djmill
It's nice seeing other people feel this way -- because at least I'm not alone!
Although my story's different, we're in the same boat.

I graduated last month, 2nd in my class for computer science. I previously
interviewed with Google, Microsoft, Amazon, and Twitter -- all rejections! It
was super depressing. One of my only friends at school landed a job at Twitter
and his GPA was much lower than mine, he didn't work as hard, and now he gets
paid 50% more than I do. Yes, 50% more, no exaggerations. Fuck me, right? haha

So what am I doing now? I started my first full-time software engineer job
last Tuesday with the same Fortune 500 retailer I did internships and co-ops
with in the past. I code business applications for the company, it's fun but
not super interesting. I'm making good money -- not top dollar, but a fair
salary (maybe a little lower than I expected for having 4 internships before
graduation, but still.)

The real world is boring and no matter what work you're doing, it's probably
not going to be super interesting. Think of it this way, even Google needs
teams to do their boring work... I'm sure there are bored people at Google
getting paid much much more than me (and you)!

Needless to say, I'm not excited about my job. I'm excited about getting paid,
but work is work. I'm working with the frameworks and languages that I want
and I think that's all that really matters in the end.

The last thing you need to keep in mind is that the work you're going to do,
as a programmer/engineer, will most likely NOT change the world. Company's
taglines like "Come Change The World With Us" \-- shit like this -- is used so
you think their company is doing great things, but they really aren't doing
anything great. They use these strategies to attract top talent. It's the same
reason Target and Coke use the color 'Red' to sell their products via their
label (red means cheap!) Honestly, if you really want to change the world,
change professions... and remember, becoming rich != changing the world -- you
could own a sweet startup that does nothing more than sends "Yo!" to a friend
on your friends list, but this doesn't change the world.

So what can you do now that you're bored and you're fortunate enough to have a
job in this economy? My suggestion is to work on something you really care
about on the side. Make a project for yourself or work on an open source
project that you think is helpful or "world changing". Live your life day by
day and every now and then think about "how can I make my life easier" \-- and
build something that does make it easier.

Transitioning from school to the real world is really weird. I've done it 4
separate times before graduation (internships and co-ops) and I've always
loved work way more than school. We all have high hopes for graduation and
when we don't get what we want, we can dwell on it for some time. Your best
bet is to take things slow and take action on ideas when they come to you in
your free time. Work on open source projects or make something for yourself.
Be happy that you have a job and can pay off loans (if you have them)

Sorry this response was so long, but I hope it helps in some way :)

~~~
ngokevin
I think it may have just been your experience, but there are definitely tons
of fulfilling and impacting jobs out there.

~~~
djmill
Every job is fulfilling and impacting on some level. One project I worked on
generates $150 million in revenue for the company I work for -- essentially
saving a huge portion of the business. That's fulfilling for me and that
impacts a major corporation and the lives of people who work for this company.
But as engineers, we finish one thing and start another. There's no time to
bask in our 'glory' and honestly, no one gives two shits about who made a
feature work -- all that matters is that it works.

What we think is 'impacting' and 'fulfilling' is all relative. What I'm trying
to get across here is that most jobs aren't super exciting. If you're not
happy in your current situation, keep looking for a job that IS
exciting/fulfilling/impacting and don't complain, because you already know
what you want and that's not what you currently have. Of course there are jobs
that actually impact the world directly, there's just a smaller number of
these jobs available. The Google Search team is a team that changes the world,
but good luck joining them.

Go help with the government health care crisis if you want to change the
world. Health care systems are in a terrible state for the future.

I'm not trying to be an asshole, I'm just trying to show you that the real
world isn't what you've imagined throughout your college career, that's all
and it's all good.

------
dsadsadsadsa
Welcome to real life!

------
thaumaturgy
Listen.

One of the best little essays on life and growing up was written, and spoken,
by Laz Buhrmann. You can find the text of it here:
[http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-schmich-
su...](http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-schmich-sunscreen-
column-column.html)

> _Don 't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
> The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do
> with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still
> don't._

...and this is true.

It is human nature to compare ourselves to others. That is how we measure our
own progress. We don't measure it in absolute terms -- we do not tend to say,
"I have four more units of happy this year than I had last year," instead we
tend to say, "those other people get to take vacations all around the world,
and I don't."

And so we strive to have what other people have.

This effect can be especially poisonous in environments like HN, where you see
so many examples of bright, young, successful people, especially those that
are more successful than you. And so you look at yourself and you think, "all
I have is this uninspiring, unimportant job, and those people are making a
difference, and that's what I want to do, but I don't know how."

It is a cruel unspoken truth of reality that a major part of success and
difference-making is based on no small amount of luck. Sometimes -- maybe most
of the time, maybe even all of the time -- making a difference, or becoming
wildly successful, is a matter of simply doing the right thing when you are in
the right place at the right time.

It certainly cannot be forced, despite what a few notable examples might lead
you to believe.

So if you love coding, then code, and if you ever stop loving coding, then
stop coding and try to find your next life ([http://www.smbc-
comics.com/?id=2722#comic](http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2722#comic)). I have
done this a few times, and it scares the piss out of me every time, and every
time I love it and I would never go back and choose not to do it. I have met
the most amazing people because I did something unexpected.

And if you are lucky, you will find sufficient happiness in coding and
stability and you will have a comfortable life and you will find your rewards
in yearly vacations, hobbies, and maybe family. Or, if you are lucky, you will
look inside yourself and realize that you could never be happy enough having
just all of that, and you will strike out into a more frightening and unknown
future; maybe you will try your hand at your own startup, maybe you will fail,
maybe you'll try again, and maybe as a result of all of that you'll never get
those vacations or that family, but at least you will have tried and that will
make you happy.

If you are unlucky, then you will do one when you should have done the other.
Try not to do that.

But most importantly, and I want to say this with all of the conviction that I
can muster:

 _Do not be in a hurry._

I can very nearly promise that if you wait until you are 25 to start something
of your own, you will be just as happy with the result as you would have been
at 21. The four years from 21 to 25 seems significant at 21, and utterly
insignificant at 30. By the time you are 50, you'll find it funny how much
pressure young people place on themselves to grow up more quickly.

Do not dismiss your own troubles, they are as important to you as finding
dinner is to other people. You are, again, comparing yourself to others.

------
paulhauggis
Your new job will bring other opportunities, even if you think it's not
something you will enjoy. Stick with it for awhile.

You can always work on interesting things in your free time.

------
djuggler
Run Forest Run!

