

This is me lighting my own fire. - miles_matthias

I've always held back and down played my emotions because I was afraid of being embarrassed or ridiculed. I've never fully expressed what I want, gotten passionate about it, and then dedicated myself and believed in myself to do something. Until now.<p>I'm a fat, lazy, and cowardly shell of a person. I'm a naturally gifted person so growing up I was always praised and never pushed, even though I've never given 100% of myself to anything. Most would call me accomplished - I graduated with two separate, difficult degrees with honors and make a nice living building iPad apps. But on the inside I know that I'm living an incredibly small proportion of who I can be and who I want to be.<p>I gained 70 pounds in college and haven't lost hardly any of it since graduating two years ago. I try to prepare for ridiculous interview questions for jobs that I probably won't be happy at.<p>Fear of failing and a disbelief in myself have held me back and resorted me to begging people for a chance to get them coffee and tell them how lovely their new Ferrari looks. Well fuck that.<p>It took me long enough, but I've finally realized that I need to let my passion out and I have to be the source of my own motivation. When I played sports in high school, I was mediocre in practices until one of the coaches would spark a fire in me by yelling at me. Then, I beat everyone in everything. Sprints, weights, endurance - you name it. Once my fire was lit, I was unstoppable.<p>And this is me lighting my own fire. I'm going to be unstoppable.<p>In the next year, I'm going to:<p>1. Lose 70 pounds.
2. Build a team and a business plan to make the world a better place.
3. Execute, execute, execute.<p>I'm posting this here under my real name to hold myself accountable and to begin to allow my passion to inspire others to join me. Contact me at miles.matthias [at] gmail if you're interested in building something awesome, making the world a better place, and not taking shit from anyone.
======
benmarks
Don't know if this applies to your case - and kuddos for making the commitment
here - but some of what you say resonates with me. I recently discovered
Raptitude, and this post blew me away by elucidating so many things I've felt
but couldn't give voice to:

[http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not-
lazi...](http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not-laziness/)

I've recently taken steps to improve my lot in life and live up to my
potential. Best of luck on our respective journeys!

