
Toddlers prepare for their first big interview - schrofer
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-32040752
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rquantz
NYC toddlers go through the same thing, and I hear parents here complaining
about getting their kids into a good kindergarten all the time. There is a
funnel from the best kindergartens to the best private schools, to the Ivy
League schools, to the top law firms and medical schools, and for some of very
best schools, the rate of acceptance into Ivy League schools is so high that
by getting your kid into the right kindergarten they are essentially set for
life. It is absolute madness that an interview at the age of four could be so
determinative of one's entire life. Yet another way that privilege tends to
compound.

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mrev19
A person who follows a path laid out for them by others from the age of four
without veering will encounter challenges later in life involving self-
direction and identity. 'Set for life' is a dangerous delusion.

~~~
Zikes
I'm not saying you're wrong, but 'set for life' money can pay for a lot of
therapy.

~~~
mrev19
Unfortunately, if you get there, there's not enough therapy in the world that
will help. You can never pay someone to teach you to love yourself, or to
decide for you who exactly you are, or decide for you what you want. You have
to claim it for yourself, and if you walk the path laid out for you by others
you will not have the tools to do this. After pair bonding with the mother,
the foundation is laid as a toddler, parents praising effort, not outcome, and
teaching kids to learn and explore and create for the sake of their own
curiosity, not tying that process to external judgements and motivators and
robbing them of their agency. The goal of parenting should be to teach self
reliance. Parents and our current scholastic environment are raising children
that are so tightly coupled to the system that they are extremely brittle in
the face of adversity, they fall apart. Their reference points are external.
They have no compass. You might 'make it' by society's standards with no
internal compass, but this 'making it' is incredibly deceptive. You've
acquired a debt working against self realization and direction that is
incredibly difficult, sometimes impossible, to pay. Countless broken homes and
shattered lives result from the inevitable reckoning. Everyone will become
accountable to the amount of responsibility they've taken for their life at
some point, and it can be equally liberating and devastating.

~~~
Zikes
I think you're vastly overstating the difference between the psychological
stresses put upon affluent children versus those in middle class or poverty.

Everybody has to deal with living up to their parents' hopes and dreams, and
we all manage somehow. Certainly there's plenty of room for improvement on all
sides, but if you're looking for a special sympathy for the upper class,
you'll not get it from me.

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1971genocide
YC16: FetusImplants.io - we are hiring !

On a more serious note. Things like this is great if done correctly.

If an professional industry can be grown around child care, I think its better
than having parents do infinite amount of harm to their kids.

However its almost ridiculous that society is heading that way. One of the
foundation of society is the relationship between parents and their kids. That
relationship develops in early childhood.

I think parents in hong kong are taking life way too seriously - what are you
gaining out of it ? Does it matter that your city is twice as performant as
new-york or shanghai.

My grandmother still lives by global standards below the global proverty line
by income. And she has the most chilled life I have seen. Ofcourse if your
country is ravaged by malaria or violence then there is something that needs
to be done.

Humans are not machines - we have computers now for that. Human creativity
pays itself and creativity comes from boredom and self learing.

Also being from a culture similar to hong- kong. these types of things instil
a sense of "FUCK YOU IF YOU FAIL!" This is very counterproductive attitude to
have if you expect to be part of the social chain of invention from galileo
and newton.

~~~
stdbrouw
> If an professional industry can be grown around child care, I think its
> better than having parents do infinite amount of harm to their kids.

We know that if you drink lots of alcohol while pregnant, you're going to harm
your child. We also know that if you are abusive towards your children, they
might end up with all sorts of psychological trauma.

But beyond that? Different parenting strategies probably have an effect on a
kid's emotional and intellectual development, but the jury is still out on
exactly how much of an effect and exactly what, then, the best parenting
strategy is. So, doing an "infinite amount of harm" to your kids because
you're somehow not a professional at raising kids? I don't think that's even
possible.

\-- but anyway, I very much agree with the main point of your comment; society
seems to increasingly want to turn people into robots.

~~~
rayiner
Drinking during pregnancy is actually a good microcosm of parenting as a
whole. The effect of light to moderate drinking during pregnancy on child IQ
and attention is pretty much nonexistent: [http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/fasd/key-
findings-alcohol-use.html](http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/fasd/key-findings-
alcohol-use.html). And even among alcoholics, the probability of FAS is around
5%. Even pre-natal cocaine exposure isn't all its cracked up to be:
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenatal_cocaine_exposure](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenatal_cocaine_exposure).

Kids are surprisingly resilient, and the weight of the scientific evidence we
have suggests that once confounding factors like socioeconomic status are
accounted for, parenting choices don't have a large impact on at least the
objectively measurable aspects of outcomes (e.g. IQ, test scores, attention
span).

~~~
gdubs
I remember hearing a story of a mom flying on a French airline. They were
liberal with the wine, but freaked out when she wanted a raw salad. Every
culture is different when it comes to parenting :)

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Red_Tarsius
> " _At one tuition company, the Hong Kong Young Talents Association (HKYTA),
> a series of 12 training sessions costs HK$4,480 ($580; £390) - that 's
> nearly a quarter of the median monthly household income._"

Sometimes I think that the Asian obsession with school curriculum was designed
make money out of fear.

Schools' focus should be learning itself. Any form of extrinsic reward –
praises, grades, smileys – adds up to nullify the learning experience.

imho we're raising a generation of selfish individuals. We're raising people
who won't do anything without a solid structure and reward system to motivate
them. Free play is what builds children's self-reliance and independence.

~~~
gdubs
Structure can be very important to building self-esteem and confidence in a
child. Many think it's critical to providing self-reliance and independence,
perhaps counterintuitively. I'm not saying free play is unimportant. But
structure provides routines that make kids feel confident. That the world
isn't a completely chaotic place. It helps them learn about valuable skills
like delayed gratification. Etc.

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ElijahLynn
This is horrible. Kids shouldn't be stressed out like this in their early
years/ Teach them how to be creative and let them play. We just went through
the Princeton Waldorf school 'interview' process and guess what it was. Our
2.5 year old son playing with a wooden tow truck on the floor and slightly
interacting with a 3 year old girl doing roughly the same with some other
toys.

The world needs creative engineers in all industries who can come up with
original ideas not ones who are good at repeating and rote memorization,
although those are fantastic secondary skills.

~~~
e40
_We just went through the Princeton Waldorf school 'interview' process and
guess what it was. Our 2.5 year old son playing with a wooden tow truck on the
floor and slightly interacting with a 3 year old girl doing roughly the same
with some other toys._

That implies that there was a _wrong_ way to play and interact. Are they only
taking _good_ kids, or something?

~~~
emidln
Guessing that the _wrong_ way involves throwing the wooden tow truck at the 3
year old girl.

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blinkingled
Humans making life miserable for other humans - kids edition.

~~~
sanmon3186
Indian edition for little older kids
[http://www.hindustantimes.com/newdelhi/even-
class-6-students...](http://www.hindustantimes.com/newdelhi/even-
class-6-students-prepare-for-iit/article1-967199.aspx)

