
Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor? - DictumMortuum
I recently changed managers and I haven&#x27;t been doing 1:1 meetings with the previous one. Since the new manager seems to prefer a more systematic approach, I figured I could ask you guys - do you have a plan before going into these kinds of meetings? What kind of talking points do you often have?
======
geoffchan23
I'm going to try and add a different angle to this because most people here
have covered what I wanted to say (performance, compensation etc.)

I would use this time to find out how your manager is doing in his/her role.
Find out how you can help them. Talk to them about their frustrations and how
they are feeling. Just because they are your manager doesn't mean you need to
treat them like a boss all the time. Show them some care and empathy. It can
go a long way for your career.

~~~
PascLeRasc
I have pretty bad work-related anxiety and I recently started seeing a
therapist who specializes in it. She recommended I start thinking of my role
as solely "to make my manager look good". This changed my whole mindset from
trying to be a better/more efficient developer to trying to look out for
what's on my manager's plate and how my behavior would reflect on her and her
team. It's really helped me and I know my manager appreciates it. I can expand
on this more if anyone thinks it'd help them too.

~~~
quickthrower2
This sounds good if your organisation is political. However if the coding work
is below par it’ll probably get found out sooner or later. Schmooze the boss
but wax on wax off make sure the basic job function is being done well enough.

~~~
shadowiq
In fairness, schmoozing your manager arguably makes your manager look worse,
as it makes them look like their team considers them _schmooz-able_ while
producing good code automatically helps your boss look better, as it shows
they, at least in part, are managing their team effectively.

------
eel
If I am joining a new team or company and therefore getting a new manager, my
1:1 meetings generally support my onboarding. I would ask about the team's
current processes, how they got there, who to ask about learning the system
architecture, etc. I also try to get a feel about what the new manager's style
is. How does the manager want to stay apprised on my work, what is his/her
approach to career development, etc. And very importantly, I ask how often we
should have 1:1s.

If the new manager is joining my existing team as my manager, 1:1 meetings now
support my manager's onboarding. The topics are very similar, but I have to be
a little more tactful to avoid appearing arrogant or patronizing. I will ask
what he/she thinks of the product we work on, or about the system
architecture. Once again, I will try to get a feel for the manager's
management style, and I will ask about the approach to career development and
future 1:1s.

In either case, my number one goal early on in 1:1s is to build rapport. I
don't intend this as a "winning favor" type of thing, but rather I need to do
my best to build the relationship from my side so that I feel comfortable
raising concerns and I can understand where my manager is coming from when
inevitably he/she starts making new requests.

I don't like to share a 1:1 agenda until it's clear that the manager respects
1:1s. Otherwise there's a risk that the manager preemptively invites other
people to help answer the topics in the agenda.

I try not to rant or complain in 1:1s anymore. I found that my managers'
reactions were rarely predictable. Some managers try to solve the problem
immediately, and some managers do nothing. Some managers would move me onto
another project. Now that I have more experience, if I have a complaint, then
I also try to propose a solution.

Finally, I try to avoid using 1:1s for status updates or escalating blockers
to my manager. In my mind, these are best done as needed or as soon as
possible.

~~~
jevanish
This is really good advice ^

Measured, and with good variation.

------
werbel
* Performance (e.g. challenges, obstacles, short/long term goals, feedback, productivity)

* Professional development & engagement (e.g. professional goals, training, engagement, coaching)

* Contribution to company growth (e.g. process improvement, supporting colleagues, training pilot/ buddy programs, any other activities)

* Things done / achievements since last 1on1

* Feedback for the manager (e.g. what he/she could have done better/differently since last 1:1, what you/the team is missing)

In summary: What can be done for you, the team and company aside from just
"correct individual contribution".

Try to avoid discussing things related to lifecycle of ongoing projects. Those
should be handled within your team's standard execution flow. If there's need
to talk more on a 1:1 then probably you have a gap there.

Of course in an ideal world in a company that supports ongoing feedback and
people are not afraid to raise any issues on a daily basis it should be just:
"Hey, do you have anything to talk about? - Nope, everything we discussed on a
daily basis. - Ok, same here".

In the real world, there are always things which "there's never a good time
for" and periodical check-up is useful for that just like a team
retrospective.

~~~
wozmirek
Good point about feedback for the manager, I forgot to mention it. Depends on
how well you get along with your manager, but I went as far as to say "you
were joking about thing X (usually hiring/firing/PTO/performance etc. topics)
which I didn't like".

~~~
werbel
Yes, I realize not all of us have the luxury of being part of organization
where direct, open, constructive feedback whether it's positive or negative is
just a thing people do. (Many organizations will boast about values but not
live them. If you live them there's no need to even talk about them.)

1:1 or not, good manager should not only make everyone safe with giving
him/her and everyone feedback but also ask for it if he/she takes the
responsibility of taking care of the people seriously.

Even if that's not a part of the culture then it seems to me it makes sense to
try to be the leading example (with a clear, expressed explicitly if needed
intent of doing this to make everyone's life and cooperation better) if it
doesn't put your job at jeopardy.

However, if it is, maybe it's worth considering what future lies ahead for you
in the company? This of course depends on personal goals.

------
xivzgrev
Reading a lot of comments here people have a very wide range of what they try
to cover and I think it’s unnecessary on an every week basis.

Let’s start with the basics. Your manager’s number one job is to unblock your
success. Whatever the fuck you need to do your job, the 1:1 is when you
discuss it (assuming it can wait until 1:1, sometimes things are more urgent
and you just need to grab manager right then).

Be sure to bring proposed solutions not just problems

-bringing a problem: “billy the director from marketing keeps direct messaging me asking for help. I want to help but it’s taking too time” -bringing a solution: same as above, plus “...given the xyz support process, I’m going to send billy an email and cc you, reminding them to follow the process and to reach out to so and so with these issues. If there’s any pushback can you back me up?”

You can also share accomplishments / progress but usually there are other
channels for that.

Then as needed the other stuff here makes sense eg build rapport, ask about
them, career dev etc

------
dsr_
Various commenters have interpreted this in two different ways:

a) this is a performance/compensation review meeting

b) this is a weekly/biweekly/whatever infinitely repeating meeting

I think most managers who ask for 1:1 meetings are talking about case (b). I
do.

I don't schedule 1:1 meetings for local employees unless they ask; I do
schedule 1:1 meetings for remote employees. My feeling (which I have mentioned
to everyone) is that people I see most days have the opportunity to ask
questions and bring up concerns any time they feel like it, but a person I
can't bump into in the corridor deserves extra time for that.

My 1:1 agenda is loose: tell me if anything isn't going the way you want.
Concerns about your work, other employees, the strategic direction of the
company... this is an excellent time to bring it up. I can help with technical
problems, or discuss the issue and refer you to the right person. Want to go
to a conference? Want to tell me about the conference you want to? Anything
vaguely company-related in on-topic, and I don't mind diverting off-topic
much, because we'll have another meeting next week.

~~~
tobr
I think you would miss a lot of important things with this approach. You’re
basically asking other people to take the entire initiative to raise problems,
which will only work for things they are 100% comfortable bringing up with
you, and which they feel is in their interest for you to know about.

~~~
benhurmarcel
Exactly; my current manager works this way (no 1:1) and is surprised how in 3
years nobody has ever come willingly to talk about this stuff.

Nobody wants to be the one coming to his boss with problems; nobody wants to
be the only team member to go talk about things that probably bother him given
that he never asked about them.

Then obviously he has no idea about the day-to-day work that most of us do,
the difficulties we're facing, the lack of motivation of some members, the
career or personal aspirations of them, the growing idea of leaving the team
of others…

If you never ask, there's a lot you'll never know. It doesn't need to be
weekly, but you need to reserve some time at least every few months at the
bare minimum.

~~~
jevanish
From Creativity Inc, by Pixar cofounder Ed Catmull:

“My door had always been open! I’d assumed that that would guarantee me a
place in the loop, at least when it came to major sources of tension like
this.

Not a single production manager had dropped by to express frustration or make
a suggestion in the five years we worked on Toy Story.

…Being on the lookout for problems was not the same as seeing problems.”

Source: [https://getlighthouse.com/blog/ed-catmull-quotes-
leadership-...](https://getlighthouse.com/blog/ed-catmull-quotes-leadership-
creativity-inc/)

------
mabbo
#1- calling out anything co-worker related. I try to always bring up some good
things. Ie: this new guy is getting up to speed really fast and I'm super
impressed, here's some quick examples. Or negative: the guy in the remote team
and I keep having conflicts, not sure what to do about it, any thoughts?

#2- my career. I'm working towards promotion X, I've made these steps lately,
what do you see that I can be doing?

#3- ask for feedback. Has anyone given you any feedback that I need to hear? I
can't grow without it.

And then give half the 1:1 time to the manager for things they've brought.
Their time is often even more limited than mine.

~~~
eel
Good stuff. I think this is a good general template once you've established a
relationship with your manager. If the manager is new, I don't expect direct
answers to #2 and #3, so I would ask more meta questions-- how they approach
career development and feedback, etc. and get them thinking about those topics
for future 1:1s.

------
wozmirek
I prepare the agenda on my own, it's usually 2 to 5 points. My issues,
worries, what I struggle with, what I plan to do in the long run, I ask for
general feedback every few months.

Sample agenda:

* I did X in situation Y; could I have handled this better?

* I have too many things to do, so which is the priority: A or B?

* I'll do this big thing over the next month, wdyt? etc

~~~
calciphus
Wdyt = what do you think

------
dangus
Whatever bullshit comes up to justify the meeting.

I’ve seriously never had 1:1s go anywhere useful. But that’s also because I
believe that 75% or more of people are bad managers (it is hard to be a really
good one).

~~~
jevanish
That's really unfortunate. They can be incredible meetings to fix problems,
work on your career, grow skills, give and receive feedback, and a lot more.

Unfortunately though a lot of managers don't know what to do as you suggest,
but some of them can be shown a better way.

Putting some things you want on the agenda is a great way to make that change.
Then you can take the temperature to what they will be open to.

Working backwards though, this is why you should interview your future manager
really hard before signing on to the job...to make sure you have one of those
25% that are good (based on your number)

~~~
dangus
I definitely agree with everything you said. I have had _some_ productive 1:1s
where they led to interesting changes to my work.

But those enlightened managers are rare.

And then the flaw with interviewing your manager is that you often can’t
control your manager once you’re hired. I’m currently on manager number four,
just one year in to my current role. The other ones all quit or were interim
managers.

So for me, it just seems so much more likely to fail than succeed that it’s
hard not to take it as a probable waste of time. I wish I could just say no
thanks, I don’t want to have 1:1s.

~~~
syndacks
Sounds like you're not in the greatest work environment if so many managers
have quit. Curious why you think that is? Also, if you have such strong
feelings about management, maybe try it out? Based on what you're saying,
managers are dropping like flies and it might be helpful to promote from
within.

------
k4ch0w
It's pretty much just talk about whatever is going on in the week. Some weeks
are busier than others.

We usually talk about what's going on around the office, how the current
project is going, what's going on with coworkers and what the plans in the
future are. I will bring up blockers/promotion talks/holidays anything that I
need his help with. We're pretty informal about it.

It all depends on the manager and their personality. I find it's better to be
casual and not have a strict agenda though.

------
dbcurtis
From a manager's perspective, what I think is a great 1:1 is two things:

1\. Delegate up. If you have blockers that we haven't talked about already out
of 1:1 cycle, bring that first so that we can figure out how to knock it down.

2\. The MOST valuable thing is for you to educate me. When I was a manager, it
was impossible to stay current on every technical topic I needed to know. The
IC working with the tech every day learns that all naturally -- boil it down
to the most important and tell me that. That is the information that I crave,
and will also use to educate the next level up. (Oh, BTW, if your organization
seems to be allergic to this kind of upward-flowing education flow, that is a
Bad Sign(TM).)

------
buro9
I wrote something internally a couple of years ago, and it is precisely a
thought piece on why 1:1s exist, for whom, and how to get the best from them.

As it's too long for a HN comment I hope you don't mind my "publishing" it on
Google Docs:
[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1R4j84c7gHRn1Q3xmwg5h18La...](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1R4j84c7gHRn1Q3xmwg5h18LaupLv2EcfzU1sQQdSLm4/edit?usp=sharing)

Feel free to give this to your manager to help them consider how to use the
1:1 and make it better for the both of you.

~~~
halfnormalform
I am in the middle of planning my first 1:1 with my first direct report and
this is incredibly helpful. My bosses never did this. Thank you!

~~~
jevanish
You may find this helpful too then for you to get started on them and see
where you may want to learn more deeply: [https://getlighthouse.com/blog/one-
on-one-meetings-template-...](https://getlighthouse.com/blog/one-on-one-
meetings-template-great-leaders/)

------
jerome-jh
Every company has its own template, but basically:

\- the most important: prepare in advance! Summarize all what you have done
during the year.

\- if the template has graded items, think of a realistic grade, then add one,
everywhere. Usually in my copy of the template I also answer some of the
questions that were for my manager :) I do that completely naively. Sometimes
your manager had no time time to prepare, so you are actually helping.

\- during the interview be positive: you are fine, work is fine, ... prepare a
few points where improvement is needed, but nothing really serious.

\- usually your manager has limited freedom when it comes to your salary
(contrary to HR), so do not annoy him with this. In my company I do not even
talk about money with my manager. Keep your discontent for HR and your manager
on your side.

With that method in my current company I got good raises.

The golden rule is: say positive things about yourself and your work. If you
do not, nobody will.

------
ryanmercer
My manager and I usually go over my production real quick then talk about
shows we both used to go to back in the day and upcoming shows our old butts
are thinking about going to. This time of year we'll probably talk about
looking forward to going out and getting some morels in the woods soon.

She's not the typical manager though. I feel like if I ever get another
company interested in me I'll have no idea how the real world really reacts
because the opco of my company moves to the beat of its own drum and my office
even more so.

Our 1:1 meeting are just monthly "here's your production from the last month
we've completed the data on" which we get weekly via email from the team leads
anyway, we sign it and never get a copy and it gets filed away to never be
seen again as per standard bureaucratic make-work. Mangers just use it as a
chance to point out any errors you are making repetitively and see if you have
any questions or concerns.

------
werber
I've had a few roles with regularly scheduled 1 on 1s, the best were with
bosses I worked extremely closely with, and those sessions were generally
like, tech heavy heart to hearts, I still years go to a few of those bosses I
no longer work with for advice. With the bosses I wasn't as close to or did
not have a mutually respectful relationship with, it was usually a waste of
time. Empty promises, mindless chit chat, casual gossip. The absolute worst
was a role where we got scored on these chats as part of an attempt to
quantify every aspect of the job. With that being said, when I want to meet
one on one with a boss now, I ask them out to lunch and discuss whatever
matter at hand.

------
staz
I try to use the one from the Manager Tools podcast but we have a hard time
sticking to it. [https://www.manager-tools.com/manager-tools-
basics#](https://www.manager-tools.com/manager-tools-basics#)

~~~
jevanish
Why do you have a hard time sticking to it? What do you end up doing instead?

------
jevanish
Your 1 on 1s are going to evolve over time with them.

At the start you want to simply build some rapport and get a feel for their
work style. Ask them about how they prefer certain things like project updates
and how to handle problems that arise.

Then, as you get comfortable, your 1 on 1s can and should cover a wide variety
of topics: \- Your Career Growth / areas of interest you have \- Suggestions
for improving you/your team's work \- Problems you want their help with / what
they think of the solution you came up with \- Personal issues that could
affect your work (babies, funerals, long term sickness of loved ones,
divorces, etc) \- Praise things your manager did you like so they do more of
it (They're human too...let em know) \- If they're open to it, feedback you
have for them \- FYIs that you may know about that they may not have
visibility to and will want to monitor (see Andy Grove's "Black box of
management" [https://medium.com/@iantien/top-takeaways-from-andy-
grove-s-...](https://medium.com/@iantien/top-takeaways-from-andy-grove-s-high-
output-management-2e0ecfb1ea63)) \- Things you want to lobby for (changes,
class you want to take, a project, a certain assignment, etc)

More detail on how to approach your 1 on 1s that I've sent to employees here:
[https://getlighthouse.com/blog/effective-1-on-1-meetings/](https://getlighthouse.com/blog/effective-1-on-1-meetings/)

------
CyberFonic
I have had many managers and no two conducted 1:1 meetings the same.

In my experience it depends greatly on what sort of rapport you have with this
manager. Can you read his personality? If you barely know the person and think
he might be a stickler for detail and protocol, then keep your agenda to
positive topics. Focus on your accomplishments and anything you plan that has
a direct contribution to the company. Avoid anything negative, it might come
back to haunt you. This is the safest path.

If you have reasonable rapport then I would suggest to still stick to being
positive, but you could very diplomatically raise any issues that might be
negatively impacting the company. What I mean is that instead of saying
something like "This open plan office is too noisy and I can't concentrate"
say: "Sometimes the office gets quite noisy. Perhaps these conditions could be
distracting for some of the staff and impact upon productivity." If you get
asked how it affects you then you could say: "I use noise cancelling
headphones to minimise the impact and maintain my workflow." Of course that
presumes you have such headphones. The above is merely an example of how to
recast comments so that you don't look like a complainer. If in doubt, don't.

The next 1:1 will be much easier because you have the experiences from the
first one to guide you.

~~~
Daviey
In most teams, the manager's raison d'être is simply to make you more
productive. This means unblocking problems when you are stuck, aligning vision
(to avoid wasted work), to motivate and prioritise work when overloaded.

The advice of avoiding bringing "negative" things and using the session as
almost a celebration of your success is massively missing the potential
usefulness of these sessions!

If your boss doesn't know about impedance to your productivity, how can they
possibly help you?

~~~
echelon
The OP has a point, though. Perpetual complainers are such a drain. I hate
being around them. They drag everything down.

Everything doesn't suck all the time.

There are pockets of good and bad. Be pragmatic. Don't nucleate a culture of
defeatism and make everyone think you only care about your paycheck and not
your coworkers and their own struggles.

Not everyone is like this. But I can point to a number of examples of this.

------
zoomablemind
What in your opinion is the intent for such meetings? It's not the review
kind, is it?

I understand the initiative is from the boss's side. Is it just a formal way
to align with policies, or a way to keep everyone on their toes, or a genuine
two-way communication channel?

If it's a formal thing, then just play along, whatever style this boss is
expecting.

There're even ridiculous cases, when a boss decided to project 'openness' by
putting a jar of candies in his office... with the expectations that people
would have this as a reason to come in. Not a bad idea in general (taught in
trainings) ... except the candies were mostly subpar, halloween kind, the boss
won't eat these either. Still, the game was clear, and his employees were
showing up for 'a candy', those that did made the boss happy.

If it's 'I'm the boss' kind, then it's kinda formal too. So either come up
with a question that would highlight his expertise or you own humblness.

The easiest part is when it's two-way. Almost no pretense needed. His time is
as much or more valuable to him as yours. So the meetings will have some
practical reason to them. Either assign, solve, retro, or 'address' something.
Make sure you're aware of the reasons to meet, if needed probe in advance.

Also use this to your advantage - _ask_ sometimes to meet. There're should be
plenty of ways to find a practical topic to discuss. As an example, with a new
boss a possible topic could be 'aligning priorities'. If possible, find ways
to establish such a two-way channel.

------
Minor49er
I never have them with my manager. I actually just learned yesterday that he
has them every two weeks with other members of my team, though

------
turc1656
My goals for such meetings are simple.

1) Determine if I am still meeting expectations

2) Figure out what I should be working on. This sounds dumb, but if you work
on a varied set of projects/tasks that change all the time like I do, then
figuring out priority isn't always obvious. I like to use these sessions to
help refocus me to make sure I'm on whatever path my manager feels adds the
most value to the business. Because everyone can drift into things over time
that are interesting, but not necessarily what is needed by the business.

3) What new stuff can I do? Are there any new projects coming up? Any new
skills I should be trying to get or things I should be studying up on?

Essentially, these three things are making sure my career goals are at least
somewhat where I want them to be and they are in line with what the company
needs/wants from me. Those items are how I get there. It may vary depending on
the specific position a person has.

------
Jemaclus
My boss and I create a Slack thread each week for 1:1 topics.

One thing to remember is that 1:1 time is YOUR time, not your boss's time.
They can schedule a meeting with you any time for their topics, but 1:1s are
always your chance to have face time alone with them.

It's up to you what to talk about, but as a manager, I don't need status
updates. If I'm a good manager, then I already know what you're up to, so
let's talk about something _you_ want to talk about. You don't need to inform
me of your day-to-day work, unless that's what you want to talk about.

My boss and I talk about a lot of things, but rarely status updates on
projects. The topics tend to revolve around organizational changes, obstacles
that my team and I are running into, personnel issues, or company
strategic/tactical considerations.

My 1:1 is also a great time to talk about career development. Every other 1:1
I ask my boss how I'm doing, and if he says "You're great", I push a little
bit more on something I can improve. He usually comes up with _something_.

I know a lot of ICs feel it's rude or inappropriate to bring up raises or
career direction, so I try to bring it up for them every other month or so.
Things like "How do you like the direction of your role? Is there something
else you'd like to work on? Have your career goals changed? Do you want to
talk about that?"

I also take the time in 1:1s to get to know them on a personal level. One of
my team members is having a baby in a few weeks, another one is competing in
an Ironman in a few months, and a third is going through a divorce. These
kinds of things don't directly apply to the job at hand, but it does have
several benefits, such as letting them know that I care about them personally
and giving me context that might explain aberrant behavior. Plus, it's just
nice when someone asks about how you're doing, right?

Like I said at the beginning, I'll make a Slack thread with my boss. This
week's looks something like this:

\- <employee> performance plan

\- <project> pivot

\- <employee>'s annual review is coming up, compensation adj?

\- <project> budget exploded, what happened?

\- <another manager> seems to struggle with <project>. How can I help?

etc, etc.

Hope that helps. Good luck.

~~~
jevanish
This is awesome. I bet your team really loves working with you.

~~~
Jemaclus
Hope so...

------
jszymborski
I keep a little private git repo with markdown files for each meeting I've had
with my supervisor (academic setting), and one file for the one in the future
where I write down agenda items as they come up. I always have "Project
Progress Summary" as a line item, where I give a short summary of what I'm
working on.

Sometimes I've nothing but that "Project Progress Summary", sometimes I've got
some road blocks I'd like to share, other times I've got a bundle of
miscellany or brainstorming items on it.

I take notes on a pad of paper during the meeting, take photos with my phone,
and if anything of substance happened in the meeting, I might transcribe them
so that I can find them with a quick grep of the meetings folder.

------
sciurus
I like this blog post's framing of partnering with your maanger and using the
1:1 to maintain that.

[https://lethain.com/partnering-with-your-
manager/](https://lethain.com/partnering-with-your-manager/)

------
phenkdo
shouldn't a 1:1 be more free-flowing than agenda-based? Let the chat go where
the conversation takes you. I find structuring such conversations, confines
and probably counter-productive.

~~~
iansowinski
It's easy to forget what's on your mind if you don't have at least some points
you want to want to discuss.

------
alagu
We faced a similar problem. We've got a strong 1-on-1 culture in our startup
but often struggle with what to talk so we created an ultimate list of one-on-
one questions (500+) with a social flavour [https://www.peoplebox.ai/t/one-on-
one-meeting-template-manag...](https://www.peoplebox.ai/t/one-on-one-meeting-
template-manager-questions-list)

These are for managers but can be flipped to find agenda/ questions for direct
reports.

------
jressey
5 sections.

1\. Personal chit-chat. 2\. Review of your work commitments and what your boss
can do to help you. 3\. Review of personal development commitments and what
your boss can do to help you. 4\. What questions do you have for your boss
about your business, department, or team. 5\. Share specific feedback for your
manager, ask for specific feedback.

It's very important to have those commitments set quarterly or at worst
annually. You should set double-length 1:1s for those sessions.

------
jredwards
I keep a running list and discuss whatever I've added to it since our last
meeting (1:1s are weekly). I do this for my manager and for my reports.

Most of the list will be about whatever the issues of the week are.

In terms of recurring items, the only thing that stands out is that I try to
have a career conversation with my reports at least once a quarter.

(I also time-stamp the list so I can see when we had conversations
historically, which is occasionally useful)

------
adrian_mrd
One of the better managers I have had in the past, when he setup weekly 1:1s,
said that the agenda for our weekly 1:1s would be “about whatever you want to
discuss”.

Key word: you. Key point: the agenda was employee-led, and it encouraged open
and honest feedback.

Many managers focus on what ‘they’ want to discuss in 1:1 meetings, but the
best people managers, in my experience, also ensure that the employee’s views
are represented.

------
bradhe
I do weekly 1:1s with all my reports. We have a google doc that we maintain
that has notes from every one of our 1:1s. We use the same format every week,
asking the same 4 questions of each other.

\- How are you feeling?

\- What are you excited about?

\- What do you have the most anxiety about?

\- What could we do better?

Then we discuss any administrative things, blockers, and there's a "What else"
section at the end.

------
Beltiras
I always have a plan. If you don't, you will just be chatting randomly. These
meetings should be for your benefit and address workplace issues that your
manager can solve somehow. You should beforehand have a good idea of what a
successful resolution should be to the issues you bring up.

------
throwawaypa123
Every meeting should start with:

1\. What am I doing that I should continue?

2\. What am I doing that I should stop doing?

3\. What should I start doing

If manager is open, you can say same things about her.

More succinctly:

1\. Start

2\. Stop

3\. Continue

------
BOOSTERHIDROGEN
I cannot see the benefit of this meeting in a typical large or similar to
governments-owned company

~~~
echelon
Then you haven't had a successful one.

The manager's job is to unblock and empower as much as anything.

Managers need insight into the health of their teams and how their reports
think, feel, and operate. 1:1s are a fantastic sounding board for this.

~~~
blahfuk
This is the same ‘no true scotsman’ argument used with scrum. Over 15 years
I’ve very rarely had anything productive come out of 1:1s. I think some people
just require more support than others. I personally find them to be an
enormous waste of time.

------
HoustonRefugee
I prefer 1:1 when there is something relevant to discuss (merit increases,
onboarding, significant problems). Personally I believe this is the best way
the manager/employee relationship should function. Email and daily interaction
should be more than enough to maintain communication on projects, work, etc.
The clear sign of a good manager is the less 1:1's the better. That means the
manager is respected enough by his subordinates to know what is going on with
his team and the team can collaborate enough to solve problems without
constant involvement from the manager.

When a manager has weekly 1:1 meetings, time to find a new job...and fast.
That is a major red flag if the manager unable to keep track of the team OR
upper management is getting ready for layoffs.

In fact, when go through the interview process once question I ask is are
their views on 1:1 meeting, how often are they, are they mandated by upper
management or just the manager's preference.

~~~
frausto
How do you feel about monthly 1:1's? This was my approach though the topic was
less about keeping up to date with what the team/person has been doing, and
more about how they are feeling, if there any roadblocks I could help them
with, if they are interested in the work they are doing, etc etc...

I think of my job as a manager as supporting and empowering my team to be
productive and making sure they are happy with their work, this was just one
way for me to do so.

Given your preference for less 1:1's, I would be interested to hear your take.

~~~
HoustonRefugee
I was not expecting that downvote. That must be a manager ;)

Anyway, I think monthly would be fine as long as it focused on career growth,
goals, etc. I am a tad bit of biased since I have had bosses who use 1:1's to
stay up to date with projects and work while ignoring the entire team and was
on the golf course the rest of the week.

Of course I am not talking about deliberately keeping your boss in the dark,
that is a problem for another thread. I am not for 1:1s being used for
"phoning it in" from a lazy manager.

------
AdrianB1
Usually as much as we have the time to discuss:

\- status of current projects and resources that I manage (I am a manager
myself)

\- priorities and direction changes

\- help needed, in any kind: escalations, resources, etc

From time to time, about every 3 months:

\- feedback and intermediate performance review

\- work plan updates

\- strategy updates

~~~
jevanish
Can't you give most of those status update-y things another way? Seems like
most of that would be covered in a standup, or email.

Your 1 on 1 could be so much more: your career growth, situations you want
help with, feedback and ideas for them, things you want coaching on, any
issues they should know about (like say a sick/dying family member), etc

~~~
AdrianB1
Most of the status update is somewhere in the 200+ emails each of us get
daily; the weekly 30 minutes are to talk the most important points, not to
inform, that is done upfront.

The last time we spent 15 minutes to discuss my idea of re-engineering the
technical platform I own; my manager does not have the deep technical
knowledge to understand the details and implications of the change, but I need
his support to make it happen (to convince others, to allocate resource, etc)
so I had to explain and convince him it is the right thing to do. The
discussion was based on the 10 slides with diagrams that I sent a week before.

------
WrtCdEvrydy
I don't have regular reports but my 1-1s are with my technical team.

For a standard 1 hour 1:1

15 minutes for anything from the previous meeting that needed my action.

15 minutes for them to speak

15 minutes for me to speak

15 minutes for any sort of HR action or performance feedback

------
fdicarlo
Used to have a structured one: \- what have I done; \- what I am going to do
\- misc/additional information/personal development

------
stakkur
Despite intentions by my two previous managers, I try to minimize and avoid
'1-1' meetings. Why? Because I want a relationship with the manager where we
can talk whenever we need to, instead of having a weekly 'meeting' with an
'agenda', etc. in my long work life, the best experiences have _always_ been
where I had no 1-1.

The common argument I hear (from managers and others) is 'but we just want a
time that's guaranteed reserved, in case you need it'. But that's a calendar
problem, not a 1-1 problem. If a manager needs to put me on the 'calendar' to
be sure that they can talk to me, they've failed as a manager.

TL;DR: '1-1' meetings are unnecessary when you have a manager who understands
communication and realizes their job is to help you succeed, not 'supervise'
you.

------
pvinis
I love these meetings. When I am in one of these, we are both at the same
level for me. We (or at least I) talk as if I'm talking to a friend about the
good stuff and bad stuff in my experience of the last 2 weeks. Mostly related
to work, but even stuff outside. I used to have these at my previous company,
and when I moved to another one I asked to do this again, because it was
something they were not doing already. I will ask in every company I work with
if this is not already something that is done.

I'll just paste here my notes for the meetings I've had with my manager/CTO
for the last few months. It's a running note so start from the bottom. Some
items are more clear than others but it's my own notes. You will see some
items like asking for access to something, asking their/company's opinion
about things, suggesting ideas for better workflows, complaining with no
solution yet, asking to clear up genuine confusion, comments about certain
recent events, etc.

\---

Involved in Machine learning, with employee Y

What raise will I get?

\--

how Can we use our product as a client

Dubai 3 weeks remote

holidays minus. not paid or next year

standing desk for sharing

working less hours or days

okrs

—

[https://twitter.com/notbrent/status/1159935844888637440?s=21](https://twitter.com/notbrent/status/1159935844888637440?s=21)

Bandung. progress as user story lead

yeh cheez

—

external therapists for devs

how do you handle time and requests and work

\---

talk RN EU

still under a lot of work with travis

Friday off for a month?

month open source

Friday morning open source

\--

sentry access

demo?

\-----

I Became gql head somehow?

proud of purge

react native pr for crashes

review cool

\-------

slack repo, we can archive it for slack questions, check the numbers doc.

budget for react Amsterdam?

————

Prs for small things lead to small things not being changed. Maybe I need a
better way to work. Maybe we all need one. I find things to fix while working.
I can’t create an issue, wait, create a pr, wait, then keep going.

Too many slack channels, everyone talks privately. Delete old.

Too many branches. Delete old.

strange. what does employee X do? not complaint, just curious.

------
Wilem82
First of all, if you want to talk about something, you don't need to wait for
the next scheduled meeting, you can just talk. Therefore the system of
scheduled one on one meetings is nothing but bureaucracy. Therefore the
question is "is there anything you discuss with the manager, ever?" And the
answer to that depends on the manager's competence. If you can delegate your
task to the manager and they are actually able to solve it, then you can use
it to keep the progress rolling. If they aren't able to do anything
meaningful, there's nothing to talk about, really. Which is usually the latter
case and it comes down to "want something done, do it yourself".

~~~
gwbas1c
> If you can delegate your task to the manager and they are actually able to
> solve it, then you can use it to keep the progress rolling

Managers are supposed to delegate tasks to you, not the other way around.

If you are delegating tasks to your manager, (as opposed to your manager
saying something like, "I'm going to assign this task to XXX," or "I'm going
to go try and get team YYY to do ZZZ,") then your manager isn't really
managing.

~~~
Wilem82
> Managers are supposed to delegate tasks to you, not the other way around.

In software engineering? Not really. They aren't engineers, they can't
delegate anything because they have no idea what to do or how to do it.

In SE, the best managers can do is be helpers in non-technical tasks, like
manage the attendance system for you or talk to other departments when your
issue tracker goes down or if there's an internet connection problem in the
office, and so on. Make sure nothing distrupts your work, in other words.

> If you are delegating tasks to your manager, (as opposed to your manager
> saying something like, "I'm going to assign this task to XXX,"

Managers cannot, without any input from the engineers, assign tasks, because
they have no idea what the task affects, the impacts, the risks, difficulties
etc. Their so-called decisions that touch on the technical side are 99% based
on the engineers' input. The engineers say this is critical and explain why
and the manager says "oh well, then you and you should fix it asap!".

Sometimes a manager is useful for aggregating the data flowing in and out of
the team, as the team's single point of entry for various people, kind of like
a reception or secretary in a sense. Again, to let the engineers work on their
stuff.

Or, the manager could present some business requirements, although for that
you should have a PO, but suppose it's the manager. Even then, they're not
delegating as in commanding the people to do something, they're just asking
the engineers to work on a solution, something which the manager has no idea
how to do. It's like, if I call a plumber to fix something, I'm not delegating
the work to the plumber because I have no idea how to do it myself, I'm simply
asking the plumber to provide a service. I'm not the plumber's "boss", the
plumber is the expert, I'm simply asking their expert opinion on how to
proceed.

> then your manager isn't really managing

They are never managing anything, at least from my oh I don't know, about 16
years of experience working at companies big and small.

~~~
amznthrowaway5
> Managers cannot, without any input from the engineers, assign tasks, because
> they have no idea what the task affects, the impacts, the risks,
> difficulties etc. Their so-called decisions that touch on the technical side
> are 99% based on the engineers' input.

Which makes it very easy for the engineers to BS the managers. If the manager
doesn't understand technical details and gets all the information from the
engineers, how does the manager tell who is actually getting the difficult
work done so he can promote the right people? I guess that explains another
reason why promo/review systems and the "career ladder" are almost always
dominated by corruption.

