
Ask HN: What makes you happy in life? - bsvalley
It could be anything. I&#x27;m curious to hear about new ways to become or remain happy :)
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whitepoplar
Independence, being in great physical shape, and sharing as many meals as
possible with friends. Having interesting friends outside of tech. Enough
money to never worry about money, which varies widely from person to person.
Never, ever worrying about hierarchies of any sort.

I need to fit this in here somehow:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdfeXqHFmPI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdfeXqHFmPI)

(Note: That's what I want, not necessarily what I have atm.)

~~~
amerine
This is the dream.

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lenova
To crush your enemies. See them driven before you. And to hear the
lamentations of their women.

~~~
maximp
Found the sales guy!

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malux85
Helping others around me. As Ive grown up and become (I guess) a little more
successful, material things dont matter so much, but helping my employees grow
and fulfill their potential is very satisfying.

As a gay man I wonder if theres some latent paternal forces coming through
here, any straight people (bosses) with employees, do you also feel some sense
of crossover with your children and employees? Just curious

~~~
kbuchanan
I do, for sure. Feeling like you're helping your employees (and they're
sending signals that they feel helped) definitely relates to the delight you
get from watching your children grow.

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wilsonnb
Having enough money to buy a pizza whenever I want.

Listening to a song that exactly fits the mood I'm in.

Being so enthralled in a new TV show or book series that I stay up way too
late even though I have to go to work in the morning.

Being in the same room as my wife.

Waking up after 9AM.

The feeling of leaving work and knowing I won't have to think about it until
Monday.

Accelerating quickly, especially when driving a car.

Watching it rain heavily when I know I won't have to go outside in it.

Weather that is cold enough for me to wear pants but not anything more than a
long sleeve shirt.

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dwiechert
People reaching out to me to do things instead of me reaching out to them.

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rotexo
In no particular order:

Aimless bike-riding and urban exploration that takes up the entirety of a
weekend day (depending on your area I suppose—definitely doable in Austin and
the Bay Area, in my experience).

Time with family and friends.

Meaningful work at a company which values having a functional workplace and
innovation (in that order).

Exploring music technology (SuperCollider, VCV rack, and interfacing software
with hardware).

YMMV.

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codewritinfool
Sitting by the fire with my feet up. Tea. Coffee. A good book. My dog. Music.
Klipschorns. Watching children discover something new. Tutoring. Walking in
the woods. Napping.

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lsiunsuex
I've given up on trying to find happiness and instead, find things to be happy
about in things I do.

I have an old project I've been working on, on and off. Fixing bugs doesn't
make me happy; but I asked the client if I could spend some time / billable
hours updating some of my old code and they approved; that made me happy.

I don't particularly like going for walks, but the girl friend and her son do;
spending time with them makes me happy so I go for the walk.

Paying bills, cleaning the apartment, doing laundry, doesn't make me happy.
But being out of a bad 8 year marriage and on my own (when the girl friend
isn't around) makes me happy so I do them, willingly (and they need to get
done, lol...)

You can find happiness in anything around you that you do; you just need to be
willing to find it.</poetic>

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thisisit
Last year I got myself a copy of "The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern
Truth in Ancient Wisdom" by Jonthan Haidt. It has an interesting take on what
really makes people happy.

To quote wikipedia -

 _In it, Haidt poses several "Great Ideas" on happiness espoused by thinkers
of the past – Plato, Buddha, Jesus and others – and examines them in the light
of contemporary psychological research, extracting from them any lessons that
still apply to our modern lives. Central to the book are the concepts of
virtue, happiness, fulfillment, and meaning._

I have been following some of the suggestions in there - more vacations and
holidays, meditation, helping people etc which has surely helped me become
happier.

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cirgue
-spending as much time out in the wilderness as possible with people who also enjoy being there and are somewhat committed to being better athletes. Surfing, kayaking, climbing, hiking, biking, whatever.

\- drinking beer with those same people around a camp fire.

\- Playing soccer/ ultimate/other team sports.

\- Set design and construction for small theater. It’s my side gig. The money
is shit but I love building stuff and hanging out with theater people.

Looking back at this list, nothing that made the cut involves screens, and
pretty much everything involves real-world social interaction.

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justaguyhere
To all those who answered - are you really sure whatever you mentioned,
_actually_ makes you happy? And not it is what you _think_ makes you happy?

Not trying to be a wise ass here - just curious how people know what makes
them happy. Asking because I have a hard time answering OP's question

~~~
nadezhda18
well, not sure about others, but for myself, I know what makes me happy after
paying attention to my feelings I have after doing various stuff and
reflecting on the circumstances in which I have had them. I do it pretty
often.

Sometimes, though, I do fall into a trap of mixing up causality and
correlation.

I may feel happy after talking to someone... and only after concluding a
thorough analysis of my feeling and the timeline, I may realize that the fact
of _finishing_ the talk with that person makes me happy and not the talk
itself 8-( )

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TaylorGood
First it was appreciation. The ability to appreciate everything. When I hit my
bottom in college, that was the first piece that shaped the rest of my life.

There is a difference between having your goals and lifestyle preferences
hinging on your ego, or simply just that, enhancements.

Now, it's about controlling my schedule indefinitely. Having control of my
queue (time) in life is top priority. From there, everything is possible..
your health, family time and so on. On a daily basis, I take inventory through
appreciation of waking up today, the things that have been, are, and becoming.
The people plus my intentions which are manifesting is some of what keeps
happiness remaining daily.

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hprotagonist
warning: possibly preachy post ahead...

Ebullient happiness is an epiphenomenon. It's a fleeting thing that happens as
a result of actions whose ultimate goal is satisfaction and a sense of peace.

Shooting for happy is, to quote bruce lee, "...like pointing a finger at the
moon. Focus on the finger and you miss all that heavenly glory." It's a gift,
but it's not a reward. Treating happiness as a reward or something you deserve
is a great way to make sure you never get it.

I appreciate and revel in the happy moments that come, for me, from service
and exploration and study.

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rayalez
Super deep and intense flow state. Usually from programming, but sometimes
from writing or doing 3D art.

Comedy(TV and Standup). Community, HIMYM, Rick and Morty, Louis CK, Bill Burr.

Jogging in the park and listening to audiobooks.

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sidcool
Nothing. Literally nothing. So I have stopped trying to be happy.

~~~
wilsonnb
Well I hope you find something that makes you happy someday. It doesn't get
better for everyone but it does get better for most people.

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pram
Unsolicited praise and adoration.

~~~
michaericalribo
Well said! Truly inspiring!

~~~
dolessdrugs
have you heard how awesome pram is

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neilk
Love, defined widely.

The classic dyad, caring about someone deeply and having them care about you,
is a great way to do that.

But even if you’re unpartnered, or partnership isn’t your thing, the best
parts of life are often when you’re caring for others.

After that, it’s more about knowing how you’re wired and doing whatever serves
that. I need to spend a lot of time in physically beautiful places and
experience novel sensations and adventures. Other people are homebodies.

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throwaway2016a
Right now:

\- Spending non-screen time with my wife and 2 year old daughter.

\- Exersize.

\- Unsolicited positive reviews of a product I built, talk I gave, or book I
wrote from someone I don't know and don't want anything in return.

And something a lot of people on HN probably is thinking but doesn't want to
admit:

\- Out innovating and out performing the products I compete with. Especially
if they are a much larger company than mine.

But I hope I can soon also add to the list:

\- Relaxing without worrying about a deadline

\- Reading books again

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koolhead17
For me, it boils down to 3 things:

1\. Company of close friends & family.

2\. Independence to do things I like.

3\. Having a clear and conscious though.

According to Epicurus, greek philosopher these are some of the key ingredients
for a pleasurable life.

Source:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irornIAQzQY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irornIAQzQY)

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ahussain
"You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled
to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the
results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction." \- from the
Bhagavad-Gita

I think a "results-oriented mindset" is often a source of unhappiness

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RickJWagner
Hope in the afterlife.

Having such a hope has been shown (in numerous studies) to have many benefits.

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dasmoth
Doing things independently. Especially things which directly contribute to the
necessities of life. The (mostly fruit and vegetables) garden is going pretty
well so far this year...

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lhorie
Hugs, ice cream, doing crafts with my kids. Simple things.

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CodeWriter23
Gratitude. The action, not the feeling “thankitude” often conflated with
gratitude. Being thankful is fine, it’s just gratitude requires action.

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the-peter
Simple: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the
lamentations of their women.

edit: sorry I see below I was too slow posting this...

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hkmurakami
It's cliche, but mastery, autonomy (control over your time), and purpose
really does ring true.

Also relationships.

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probinso
In the past, being good at sadness was a major contributor. Now, doing things
for others helps a lot.

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adriansky
Traveling light and far. I enjoying visiting new places, trying out new food
and meeting new people

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ojhughes
My girlfriend, job, where I live, windsurfing, mountain biking, travelling,
eating well

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diehunde
when I understand something I've been struggling with. Long walks listening
some nice podcast, playing with my dog and traveling (to some places only).
Money also works but it's a different feeling, more like excitement.

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volkk
free time where i don't have some deadline and am able to do whatever i please

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mrdependable
Any chance I can get for pure solitude. I love being alone.

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Dowwie
Try to be well. Flourish. Happiness is fleeting.

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cathhhhji
I'm not happy

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areoru2000
Traveling, calmness of perfect day at a beach

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rhodysurf
Surfing, the ocean, walking my dog

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dolessdrugs
being outside walking seeing things I've never seen before coffee laughter

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theodorewiles
good weather good food good conversation

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undercover123
Alcohol and teenage prostitutes. Really.

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ericschmidt
The big physical hormonal events — sex, food, muscle contractions, sleep,
endocannabinoid ingestion.

That’s it. When I make happiness any more complicated than that, it instantly
begins to elude me.

But when I take happiness down to those basic elements — I’m happy :)

