
Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you? - surds
The same question was asked just over a year ago - https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=20477104 and had several thoughtful and amazing answers.<p>There has been global upheaval over the last few months. I feel the folks here would have great advice and tons of experiences that others can learn from.
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muzani
The world happenings hasn't affected me at all. Same job, family is fine.
Things are nice and getting better.

One trick I've learned is to just show up. Instead of planning to write a
whole module in a day, I now plan to just write 5 lines of code. This has
helped me a lot - I've picked up two programming languages in three months
just with the intent of watching one minute a day. I've had a lot of work done
on my side project and have recently been getting fan mail on it. I cut down
on a lot of bad things simply by planning twelve 2-minute tasks a day, and
being engrossed in them.

Similarly, it's important to avoid creeping into bad behavior. Once we drop
good behavior, once we're a couple minutes late for a meeting, a class, a
deadline, things rapidly deteriorate from there.

Career wise, my goal is no longer to make a better salary (I have enough), but
to do more meaningful work that I'm satisfied with. Meaningful work tends to
be recession-proof too.

~~~
tmaly
I like the 2-minute task idea. It reminds me of the 1-pushup micro habit. Once
you get down to do one pushup, you end up doing more.

~~~
oldsklgdfth
I do something similar with running. I tell myself to give it a mile before I
quit. Once I'm a mile in a usually finish the run.

------
giantg2
I've learnt that changing stacks gets exponentially more difficult as I get
older.

I've also learnt that even the good companies that say they care are just as
terrible as the rest. My company touts in interviews how they never lay off
employees (contractors they will) and they essentially laid off 3000 employees
recently. They have continually eroded benefits since I joined. They also
don't care about your career and will use you on dead technology and then
outsource your job so you have to start over.

I guess the biggest thing I learnt is the world is a shitty place and I'm
screwed.

~~~
justaguyhere
I think we are at a tipping point - my dad had a single job all his life, for
30+ years. While the organization he worked for wasn't great, they also didn't
actively sabotage their own employees (benefits etc) as far as I know.

At this point, people with skills have a choice - they can start a business,
freelance etc which come with their own problems (healthcare in the US
especially). Even if a small % of the current wage slaves try this, and even
if some of them succeed, it might at least start a movement. Maybe it is
already happening. I see a lot of people realize that most employers are the
same and they don't care about anything other than short term profits and are
branching out on their own.

Another option is to unionize, that is not easy either.

This world has a severe shortage of good leaders (I am struggling to name even
half a dozen world leaders that are worth anyone's respect). If communities
organize locally and help each other, we can tackle big problems with a lot
more ease. This is happening with food though - there are communities that are
trying to grow their own food where they were previously dependent on imports.

~~~
giantg2
Well put.

I have a friend with a union job (construction) and is overtime eligible. I
would love to get paid for the hours I actually work and have a contract that
details what I'm responsible for. I know tons of people who consistently work
more hours than required and get a small bonus relative to the extra hours
(9-11 hour days vs 7.5 required). Then the rest of us are seen as lacking
potential because we 'only' work 7.5-8 hours. They are constantly adding
additional responsibilities and expectations at an unrealistic rate without
any real training.

When I was hired, they hired me for a Java developer position and then stuck
me into Filenet work immediately. The company is notorious for hiring under a
generic title and then placing you into some obscure stack like FileNet or
Neoxam.

I know unions can have their downside, but having a contract and
representation when dealing with violations of it would be awesome.

~~~
justaguyhere
From what little I know of unions, I'd say it is better to have unions (with
all the problems they bring) than not at all. With unions, workers have a
chance at least to get fair treatment. Without them, it is totally one sided.
Just look at the way Amazon treats their employees - who has the balls to take
on them? Cities and mayors are bending over backwards to get Amazon come to
them. The power imbalance is pathetic.

Another problem are the middlemen. In my own case, all the middleman company
did was organize an interview. I haven't met them, they don't care about the
candidates they place. They do nothing but write contracts and make phone
calls. They lie to everyone - their clients, the candidates they place, and
fellow middlemen. And for that, they take a _huge_ cut of the candidate's
salary/billing rate.

40-50 years ago, it was easier to do protests, spend time on policy/societal
issues etc. Today's society is held hostage by high tuition, expensive
healthcare and a hostile police force. It is hard to muster the energy to do
anything but survive.

I don't know what the solution is. It is not pretty though - we cannot
continue like this and still hope to support 7+ billion people (and rising).

~~~
giantg2
The population and future population events (pandemics, wars, control
policies) are something I've wondered a lot about. I wonder if things will
happen slowly enough that a sufficient portion of the population will
voluntarily say "I don't want to bring a kid into this world" or if controls
will be necessary. Of course with the economy being consumption driven, we
will have a massive problem either way.

~~~
justaguyhere
The no kids thing is already happening on a small scale. I decided when I in
college that I'll never bring a child into this world.

There was even a guy who wanted to sue his parents for his birth. As absurd as
this sounds, it makes one think. Maybe that was his motivation

[https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-
india-47154287](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-47154287)

~~~
giantg2
Yeah, but you still have plenty of people popping out 5+ kids and at a young
age (smaller generation gap).

I am not saying this is true across the board, but my anecdotal experiences
have been that the people who have more than 3 kids are not able to support
them without government support programs (some exceptions like the Amish). I
don't see any disincentives to having more kids if you know that support will
be provided. Governments also promote having children via tax credits and even
monthly payments for raising a kid (Norway or Sweden I think). That's not
counting the needs-based assistance. It's all because the economy suffers if
the population shrinks or stagnates.

Of course we can't just stop the needs-based payments and neglect the kids,
but I would love to see the tax credits disappear and maybe require some kind
of long lasting birth control as a requirement to assistance if they already
have the replacement rate number of children (2) to ensure we aren't adding to
the issue.

I have one kid and I don't think I want anymore. I see a very bleak future for
the next generation.

~~~
giantg2
Looks like I was wrong. I just happened to stumble on this.

[https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/experts-predict-profound-
dec...](https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/experts-predict-profound-decline-in-
world-population-continuing-drop-in-fertility-rate-225302702.html)

------
toto444
I thought some people were acting dumb but that it was only a facade, that
once things would get serious they would stop pretending being dumb.

I now genuinely believe that if there was an Ebola outbreak people would still
go to underground gatherings and say 'I did not know' once they or someone
they know gets sick.

------
theshrike79
Some people are unable to chat socially via text only.

Since going full remote I've pretty much lost track of a bunch of work
friends, since we don't directly work on the same thing and don't have a
reason to chat on Slack. We used to hang out at work and lunches regularly.

I've been on IRC since 90's so having text-only friends I know only as a
nickname is a completely normal, but it seems younger people need either voice
or image to connect properly.

~~~
muzani
I'm the opposite. I have trouble getting along in the real world, voice, and
video, but I comfortably joke and socialize in text.

------
znpy
looking back to the whole 12 months:

\- a job is mostly a way to earn money. the joy and pride about your work are
within yourself and not in your employer. you can do amazing work at any
place. it's up to you to always try to be better an improve yourself, your
work and your job.

\- the mood/vibe and the work load otoh are very important. if an employer
overloads you then it's wise to look around.

\- simpler architectures are better

\- if you need to operate a custom service and need high uptime, developers
MUST be in the loop

\- you don't need aws/gcp/azure to be in the cloud. openstack providers do
exists and work very well (and you're improving the whole market)

\- switching job is nice

\- some coworkers will become friends, most of them will just pass by.

\- hear various opinions, but then decide with your own head.

\- taking care of your own body is super important. can't do that much coding
if you're dead or sick in a hospital.

\- sometimes you just have to do grunt work ("toil"). meh, it's life.

\- starting doing something when you don't feel like starting is the best way
to get past that feeling.

\- time in the early morning >>> time at late night

\- work from home is possible and not that bad. not that i had doubts, but we
finally had a general, large scale, realistic test run. remember this to
recruiters when they'll forget in a year or two.

\- having money saved up in the bank is more important than owning shiny
things or doing fancy vacations. i realized this during the lockdown when a
lot of companies were halting production and/or laying off people, and i had
saved up enough money not to have to go sleep under a bridge in case of job
loss.

~~~
ralphstodomingo
> the joy and pride about your work are within yourself and not in your
> employer

I just wish I realized this sooner. No one else is responsible for your career
progression, job satisfaction and personal fulfillment other than yourself.

A recent experience I've had was to initiate a conversation with my boss for
five years that I've been unfulfilled with how I haven't been receiving
actionable, meaningful feedback for a year or two, and that I'm having
problems engaging myself with the current progression of our projects due to
this.

Expect how I was treated?

I find it how hard to imagine how I wound up with an insubordination charge
when the reason I initiated such a discussion is because _I wanted to work out
the relationship and wanted to stay._ I'm in charge with all of the projects,
and I've been deeply involved and accountable for the whole business.

The anxiety and tension the whole situation brought to me wasn't worth it. I'm
just passing time until this all blows over.

~~~
pestaa
Damn that must have been a tough discussion to start. I've been burned by
similarly brave moves. I, too, consult the inner stoic, and with increasing
frequency it recommends silence.

------
oldsklgdfth
If you have a problem you can fix, fix it. If you have a problem you cannot
fix, accept it. Either way complaining gets you nowhere.

Building consistent daily habits takes a while, but after a year you will
marvel at your progress.

The medium is the message. Social media [probably] cannot be built in a way
that promotes "healthy" discourse.

Not all things can be understood in a scientific context. That does not make
them any less real.

------
mister_hn
I can work remotely productively, even with kids at home and that I am more
productive than being in the office.

I've learned that I can be very fast in changing environments and being able
to do my job from home after the very next day I've started working from home,
without disruption, on a new, unconfigured machine.

I've also learned that interviewing for jobs has become something horrible,
with most ghosting and coding challenges well done but poorly reviewed, maybe
due to the high number of candidates/required salary expectation.

~~~
souprock
I find that even with 12 kids, working from home is productive. The difference
is that I can go do a bit of work between other tasks. If I have an hour to
spare and need to walk to work, about 50% of the time would be walking. It
just isn't worthwhile. At home, I can put the whole hour to use. Also at home,
I know I'm there for emergencies, so my wife can go out to run errands.

~~~
FELDO
You have 12 kids?

~~~
kleer001
Likely Mormon, they do that. Source: grew up across the street from a Mormon
family. No value judgement, it's just the only pattern I see that matches.

~~~
FELDO
Catholics? Hasidic Jews? They also have large families sometimes. It indicates
a lot of love between the parents, in any case!

------
surds
Last year, I did have a comment on the question - It was good to express what
I was feeling and get considerate feedback on that -
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20477882](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20477882)

For me, the situation right now is almost amusing.

Had I been writing this comment yesterday, I'd have stated that things were
fine despite the upheaval in the outside world and I was doing OK remotely in
a job that paid well and it was fun to work with very smart people.

Today, I am out of a job and staring at sudden uncertainty in the near future.
Still, compared to a year ago, I am more like myself - calm and composed. I am
around family and have things to look forward to. The trauma and near-
depression from a year ago seems significantly reduced. I am almost glad to
realize that the damaged me from a year ago seems to have healed quite well.

The near future is uncertain, but I am optimistic. This shock and uncertainty
might just be what I needed to finally get going and find my own path. Time
will tell, and perhaps I will too - in the next year's thread.

------
krageon
The past 12 months have taught me that a life mostly without peripheral
colleagues is amazing and also that I should have gotten a dog years ago.

------
throw_away_45
It's important to hold on to good habits and not slip up beyond an acceptable
threshold.

The world happenings have definitely affected me significantly. I had a great
set of habits, pre lock-down with a meditation practice, exercise routine and
just generally getting out and about in the city over the weekend.

Now, I have a sense of hopelessness that seems to have percolated through my
body. I find movement and just generally motivating myself to do anything as a
big challenge. I've tried the 1 push up mindset, but somehow I keep tripping
up and eventually feel 'gassed' and 'exhausted' from just being.

Job-wise - am barely making it. Just about touch and go. Life wise - don't
really have one. We are expecting a kid soon, preparing for that, but
otherwise not really much going on.

Would love suggestions from the community here around working one's way out of
a rut. Just nervous af in general knowing that I was at a much better state
few months ago.

------
Mr_Sweater
Professionally : Leave IT asap, I'm fine with the "latest and greatest"
leaving me behind, given all the time and freedom of a remote workday with no
children or spouse to distract me, Id rather workout, watch tv, cook and read
than implement yet another infrastructure automation tool. I cannot work
remotely. I do not know what to do with myself professionally.

Personally : I lack life experiences, the Midwest is homogeneous and I need to
upend my life the moment the world returns to normal. Planning life more than
a few weeks at a time is very hard but not impossible. Two workouts a day puts
me in a very happy place mentally. There is immeasurable value in community
bonds, I lacked this for the first 25 years of my life and having found it
recently I cant believe I never sought it out sooner.

------
thelastinuit
It’s chaos out there, be good.

------
tcbasche
It's taught me that I can work from home pretty productively. I was worried at
first given the lack of separation between home and work but the discipline
required I've found has benefited other areas like making sure I get outside
and drink plenty of water etc.

------
archenemy
By this time last year I was starting to enjoy my first summer with a driving
license, finishing the first renovation on my recently bought home (no
mortgage!), choosing a venue for getting married in September, and earning a
decent salary (while working from home) for the first time of my life. Things
were looking good!

I started to make plans: renovate the rest of the house, taking my extended
family on a trip, and maybe eyeing a second house as an investment.

I was fired the first day I set foot on the office as soon as I got back from
my honeymoon on october. No explanations beyond "you cost too much", when I
had got the raise without asking. No negotiation, no talking about new
arrangements. I got depressed, and then angry, and then depressed again... you
get the idea.

I tried to keep myself current, freshen up my skills with some new languages,
but I've been unable to think about coding since then. As soon as I see a
screenful of code I get angry again.

And then 2020 and you know what happened. Fortunately I still had some
savings. The fact that I feel like this and still have it better than many,
many people makes me sad, and compounds on the frustration.

So TL;DR: what have I learned?.

\- Don't get too invested in your plans.

\- Control your expectations.

\- So much of life is outside your control.

\- F*ck "where do you see yourself in five years?"

(edit: reduced typos and profanity)

~~~
giantg2
How did you buy a house with no mortgage?

Sorry to hear about your job. If you can prove that they fired you because
they didn't want to pay the increased benefits costs since you got married,
then you might have a case.

