
Dirty Little Secret of Success - adamhowell
http://www.zeldman.com/2009/10/22/dirty-little-secret-of-success/
======
wsprague
The existentialists (well, at least the one that matters, Heidegger) would say
that to be human means that one never forgets a deep "uncanniness" or an
emptiness, and that part of the drive to succeed (or do drugs or find god or
stay busy driving the kids to soccer practice) is a desire to fill up this
fundamental emptiness.

This emptiness stems from the fact that you consciously wonder who you are
("consciously" meaning with words in your head), and, in the long term, no
final answer seems to be forthcoming, even though you may tell yourself
otherwise, or go to church to hear someone else tell you, etc. The emptiness
is part of the human condition and can't actually be fixed or filled. We all
feel it very deeply, and there is a huge industry around making us feel sure
of ourselves, and/ or keeping us so busy in the world that we don't have time
to contemplate the ever-present internal void.

The only "authentic" (Heidegger's term) way forward is to just embrace the
"uncanniness", and quit wasting time worrying about how you can't "just enjoy
life" or "live always in the moment". I think of this as the way of life that
is "un-selfconsciously selfconscious" (tm). Look for my new book in the Self
Help section soon!

Or, one could also say that Nietszche, Heidegger, and Kierkegaard just had A
LOT of bad days and wrote some books about it...

~~~
wsprague
Why would anyone downvote this entry? Not that I care, just curious...

~~~
access_denied
Putting the dumbheads who upvote to express agreement aside leaves us with the
real reason to upvote: you want to highlight worth-to-read stuff.

I've read your text and frankly it didn't give me much. I thought the
Heidegger == 'The existentialist datapoint interesting for my internal map of
everything.

~~~
wsprague
What I meant was "why would you downvote my comment?" Is not giving you much a
good reason for downvoting? Seems ok if it is, but I only would downvote
things that are stupid or obnoxious, and I don't think my comment was
either....

~~~
access_denied
Ups, sorry. Huhm, well, maybe they "disagree"? I don't know. My guess is they
don't get the conncetion between Zeldman's blogpost and your comment here. You
posted something unrelated, they think. Or maybe you are just an asshole who
comes over here mentioning a writer and his philosophy, go away with that
book-crap.

------
Sthorpe
I can't believe how many people agree with this guy.

Seriously, why would anyone "break" themselves? I thought we were just
learning from our mistakes...

I am very productive these days. I think when you truly love what you do,
being an entrepreneur is just something you can tell people so they understand
_why_ you don't work for someone.

I've worked at 9 - 6 before. I will never go back. Mostly because of the
reward for not breaking myself and forgetting about what I love.

I mean how many people just like the joy of creating something for themselves
and no one else. I do.

~~~
fnid
I think the point is that if you create something for yourself and no one
else, then you won't be a successful entrepreneur, because to succeed at that,
you have to create something _other_ people love and secretly, you want them
to love _you_ , not what you create.

~~~
Sthorpe
And you agree with this point? I just like building things. I will always do
this. However, the sheer joy of something i've built and someone likes using
is a journey I am loving. I have this theory that if you build something that
you can personally use, then you've built something worth while. Now, as far
as wanting someone to love you, who doesn't want that? I certainly don't want
to be hated. But I also don't want to compromise myself either.

~~~
fnid
I agree with his point and your point. I have done what you are doing: Build
something I love. But remember, your customers are not you. When you start
selling your invention, that thing that makes you happy, your customers may
not be happy. If they aren't happy, you won't sell a lot of it.

The author of the blog post is saying, "If you don't care if your customers
are happy with the product, you won't be a good entrepreneur." By good
entrepreneur, he probably means sell a bunch of stuff.

Just liking to build things or just liking to build things for yourself is not
enough to be a successful entrepreneur. Building a commercially viable product
takes lots of iteration and design changes and polish that individuals don't
need in product they use only for their own purposes.

Your theory is a good one. It's a theory I had 3 years ago and pursued and now
I have something I love and my customers love. The problem with the theory is
that you loving it is not enough for your customers to pay for it.

------
jasonlbaptiste
Emopreneur is emo.

Joking aside there is truth to the post. Brick walls are there to show us how
much we want something.

~~~
antidaily
His twitter updates have been reflective/borderline depressing lately as well.
A lot of mentions of divorce. Clearly the guy's going through some stuff.

~~~
Mongoose
That's for sure. He recently divorced his wife and lost custody of his child.
It's a lot of painful stuff to deal with and it's very much bleeding into his
web presence.

~~~
jasonmcalacanis
That I didn't know... and for which I'm very sorry for him. That has to be
crushing.

Please forget my previous comment.... don't want to kick a guy when he's down.

~~~
bonsaitree
Glad that you noticed, or at least were made aware of, the full context of
Zeldman's post via the public HN community and back-channels.

I urge some self-reflection via a few full listen-throughs of the early audio-
only CalacanisCasts immediately following your tenure at AOL. It was
especially galling given your impending fatherhood (congratulations btw.) and
his current family status.

Given his near continuous contributions to the Web community over the years,
Zeldman has more than earned the right for a little public venting.

~~~
Mongoose
Agreed. He's basically been the face of modern web design from the beginning.
Even his emotionally-charged posts contain valuable bits of wisdom.

------
wouterinho
I think it all boils down to a certain "I'll show them" personality trait that
acts as a catalyst when confronted with agony, ridicule, betrayal, lack of
recognition, etc.

~~~
petewarden
I really like Mark Solon's post on being motivated by that sort of drive,
"Don't let the bastards grind you down":
[http://www.highway12ventures.com/2009/10/15/dont-let-the-
bas...](http://www.highway12ventures.com/2009/10/15/dont-let-the-bastards-
grind-you-down/)

------
TrevorJ
An interesting take on it, though I would not go so far as to say that you
_must_ crave attention and affection in order to be a success.

There are other motivations to work hard and succeed that don't spring from
inherent flaws in our person and oftentimes these convictions prove to be more
selfless and enduring than any narcissistic need for recognition.

You don't have to feel unloved in order to be discontented with the state of
the world. You don't have to crave the love of others in order to be
brokenhearted over the suffering that people go through.

In short: a deep and lasting desire to make the world a better place does not
first require an unfulfilled need for love. The passion can be fueled by a
desire to better the world and the lives of those around us.

------
fauigerzigerk
Looking at the deluge of success related postings on HN, I wonder if the
dirtiest secret of them all may be that success is 95% chance and 5% things
that are too heterogenous to classify, even for those who experienced them.

~~~
fnid
Sounds like the TED talk from Alain de Botton where he talks about the old
days when we saw a homeless person on the street and considered them among the
"less fortunate."

[http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/alain_de_botton_a_kinder_g...](http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/alain_de_botton_a_kinder_gentler_philosophy_of_success.html)

------
jgrahamc
Sounds like there's truth in that, and it's absolutely necessary to be
relentless about marketing your product. It's a sad fact that no one cares
about your application, book, etc. until you start telling people about it.

I wrote about my own experience of marketing in a blog post entitled: If you
build it, they will ignore it.

[http://www.jgc.org/blog/2009/06/if-you-build-it-they-will-
ig...](http://www.jgc.org/blog/2009/06/if-you-build-it-they-will-ignore-
it.html)

~~~
brlewis
It is tough for geeks to be relentless about marketing. We're already outside
our comfort zone even just beginning to market. Got any tips? I've been
following Chris Brogan and get the idea of marketing being about empowering
people, but I'm still in the market for advice.

~~~
pchristensen
I think you've won half the battle by having a product whose story matches a
big need. I'd do two things:

\- Read everything patio11 has ever written about Adwords and A/B testing.
Contact him with specific questions if necessary. He has the clearest, most
detailed info out there for marketing a part time software project into a
business \- Consider changing your home page to show, rather than describe,
how the use case for your product matches people's lives. Something like Step
1: Upload photos -> Step 2: Mix a drink while your photos are automatically
categorized -> Step 3: Go play with your kids while we automatically email
your pics to your loved ones.

Your home page doesn't convey just how ideal your product is. Adjectives and
testimonials are ignorable because people can lie about them. Take a look at
the home pages for Dropbox or the 37s projects - brief statements, demo video,
tour pages. You want people to know how to use OurDoings in less than 30
seconds.

I know about OurDoings b/c I've followed you on HN and the OurDoings, and I
think the above-the-fold part of your homepage doesn't tell the right story
convincingly. But like I said, you're halfway there because your product is
perfectly amenable to this kind of demo/tour/story treatment.

Email me at peter at pchristensen dot com if you want to discuss it more.

~~~
brlewis
Do you think it can be done without video? To many, the words "upload photos"
imply additional work. Is the slogan "Don't think; just upload" a good one?

~~~
pchristensen
The reason I suggested the video is because that's where the bar is for trial
products. A tour page, a 30-60 sec video, and a clear pricing page - these are
so ubiquitous that it's the language consumers speak.

Also, you should probably go to all the photo sharing sites and make sure you
provide at least as clear a pitch and supporting materials as them.

I think "Don't think; just upload" could work. Something like "You send the
pictures, we make the albums" would convey the benefits too.

------
mattchew
When I'm working just-for-myself, I am not nearly as focused as when I'm
working on someone else's project. I waste a lot of time basically goofing off
(like now).

I've tried to figure this out, and what Zeldman is talking about is a big part
of it. Approval from others is a lot more important to me than I wanted to
admit.

"Emopreneur". Pretty funny. Is that your own, Jason?

------
donniefitz2
Be careful not to become too uplifted by his words or you'll get all happy
about yourself and loose your drive.

~~~
unalone
You can joke about that, but it happens. I've had a particularly good few
months, and as a result I find myself getting less done than last year, when I
was frequently miserable. In that last two months, I've done maybe one really
neat piece of work, and that was immediately after a bad weekend.

I'm not exactly complaining about it, but a part of me wants to throw myself
into an upsetting situation just so I'll get back to obsessing over my work.

~~~
izaidi
I'm the same way. My best work has been happened on some of the worst days of
my life. I think it's an "Everything sucks so I have to make something that
doesn't" sort of thing.

------
qaexl
"Talent Code", Daniel Coyle.

[http://www.amazon.com/Talent-Code-Greatness-Born-
Grown/dp/05...](http://www.amazon.com/Talent-Code-Greatness-Born-
Grown/dp/055380684X/)

The book suggests that great talent -- specifically "success" in the athletic
/ superstar world -- also has environmental factors. There are environment
cues that activate subconscious fears. For example, training facilities that
train world-class athletes tend to be in the dumps, sending the subconscious
cue, "You have to get out of here". Another environmental cue is seeing
graduated successes. For example, a soccer talent hub has little kids running
around playing soccer, older kids playing pick-up games, amateurs who are
trying to make it into the pros, and pros who are both friends and rivals.

In regards to financial success, one environmental fear might be having a
deep-seated financial insecurity. For example, Tony Robbins was a successful
NLP trainer since he was in his early 20s; he made it big briefly than splurge
all of his paper wealth. He didn't actually acquire lasting assets until his
first child was born. However, it could be argued that since he grew up poor,
seeing his newborn child tied into that insecurity he grew up with.

I have a book recommended by Tim Ferris called "Leap" (Rick Smith,
[http://www.amazon.com/Leap-Simple-Changes-Propel-
Career/dp/1...](http://www.amazon.com/Leap-Simple-Changes-Propel-
Career/dp/1591842565/)). I have not yet finished the book. However, Ferris's
review ([http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2009/09/13/bill-
gates-r...](http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2009/09/13/bill-gates-risk-
taker/)) was essentially about how some of the biggest successes actually
hedged their risks.

I've been setting up a new business right now in real estate. It is very
different from what I was used to -- technologies. It is much more people-
intensive, and most of the people I am dealing with don't really do emails.
(That is changing, but not yet). The fears I usually come up against are the
same kind of fears I have the first time I signed LLC paperwork about five
years ago. That time, I was physically shaking when I spent three days putting
together the operating agreement. The next two business entities I formed were
as boring as "going down to the post office and opening up a PO box". My point
is, if I try motivating myself with a craving for attention, that's too much
of a struggle. That creates paralysis in me. Your mileage may vary.

The hack I'm trying now uses a definition of "courage" that wipes away fear
going forward.

------
amix
A part of the human nature is to keep pushing ourselves, keep improving, never
becoming fully satisfied - this has resulted in great achievements for our
ancestors. This urge to keep improving is a lot stronger for some people than
others and I think it's very strong for entrepreneurs.

The bottom line is that I don't think the urge for success is driven by a
longing for love and approval, but an urge to keep improving and keep getting
better. That's at least my drive :-)

------
dabent
I think I caught a similar theme stated differently Thomas J. Stanley's "The
Millionaire Mind." He noted that the entrepreneurs weren't the "beautiful
people" who had backing, schooling and the right background to be accepted
into mainstream, high wage jobs. Not to say that many of those beautiful folks
didn't gain wealth, but they often did it as doctors or executives rather than
business owners.

I think there is a definite need to prove oneself to society, a parent, or a
lover that drives those who start businesses, technical or not.

~~~
gbookman
How does that explain Bill Gates, the world's greatest entrepreneur who was
born with a silver spoon in his mouth?

------
mpk
Someone's having a bad day.

~~~
bd
Somebody in the comments of the original article mentioned the author is going
through a divorce.

------
wglb
There is some merit here, but I personally don't think life is that hard.
There are other sources of drive, don't you think? Like achieving something
that nobody else did before? Like getting into the flow of building something?

------
forkqueue
Funny, I saw an interview with Stelios (of EasyJet, Easy*) and he was saying
his motivation was always to prove himself to his father, even after his
father died.

------
thaumaturgy
Pfft.

Yeah, or maybe I just want to get some things done because I'm frustrated with
the things around me. People can take their recognition and hang it on a wall.

------
JCThoughtscream
Ah, the mantra of the mad scientist: "I'LL SHOW THEM! I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!"

------
Andi
Great post, it's about trying the impossible. There must be a black hole in
your mind that you have to fill.

------
astine
Wow, I should be a millionaire.

:)

------
andyf
A new startup idea - ridicule other startups until they feel they have hit
rock bottom then they can succeed.

------
haseman
The mixed metaphor per sentence ratio of that article was off the bird in the
hand charts.

------
borism
Another oversimplification and bad at that.

------
c00p3r
It's a common knowledge - why, for example, most of world's religions claims
that fasting are good - fulfilled body is deaf and dumb.

Think about sublimation as a greatest source of power and will.

You need to be starved and in need to get maximum of your brain capacity. Or
think about visiting an unfamiliar place (city, country) how you became sharp
and alerted.

So, nothing special. Just pathetic.

~~~
dualogy
"You need to be starved and in need to get maximum of your brain capacity."

Are you serious? It's when I haven't eaten enough in hours that my "brain
capacity" gets to an all-time low. Observe how nothing ever really gets Done
in societies with extended periods (ie. days or weeks) of fasting during that
period. Go to those impoverished areas of the world where people still suffer
from hunger and ask them about how their brain capacity is at a maximum. Human
beings need food, news at eleven.

~~~
c00p3r
It is a very big subject. Fasting is a way of training self-will and
conquering yourself. It is long and difficult process.

And it is not just about energy or calories. There is also spiritual part.

------
jasonmcalacanis
What a load of horse sh@#$%.

Zeldman is basically trying to explains why he doesn't have any drive and
hasn't had a breakout success: because he's so well balanced and normal and
all the successful people in the world have some sort of a mental defect.

Really?

It's not possible to be driven and well-balanced? Everyone who is successful
didn't get enough love from daddy?

Even if he is right who cares... we're all adults now and have free will. My
life kicks ass and I'm driven like a mofo.... and it has nothing to do with
money or fame... it has to do with solving problems, building a great team and
having fun!

Jeff: save the dime store BS and get back to coding some dope shit. Keep
trying... as some point you'll get that big exit! Don't give up!

~~~
adamhowell
> "doesn't have any drive and hasn't had a breakout success"

He pretty much single-handidly started the web standards movement with DWWS
(<http://www.zeldman.com/dwws/>)

A List Apart is one of, if not the, longest running and most influential web
magazines around.

An Event Apart sells out every session.

Happy Cog is an extremely successful design shop.

Zeldman.com has been around forever and he has the respect of just about
everyone in the industry.

He's a craftsman, Jason, not a suit. He doesn't need a breakout success, just
to enjoy and improve at his craft.

And lastly, he's a human being who seems to be going through some stuff and he
wrote a blog post around it. Ease up.

~~~
jasonmcalacanis
blah blah blah... yes I know he's done a cool blog for a long time, but he's
got MASSIVE entrepreneur/big win envy.

Everyone wants to hit a home run, and it has nothing to do with being a
craftsman or a suit... he's hating on people who have won big because he
hasn't.

I have the inside line on this, trust me.

~~~
ramanujan
Dude, for real? You sold a weblogs company to AOL -- who everyone in tech
knows are morons. No one gives props to Powerset either. They found a bigger
fool too.

I mean, you founded MAHALO, the pets.com of the 00's. Zero tech, zero
innovation, just slaves. "Mahalo everyone!" You have invented and created
nothing in your life.

Seriously, you are an ant running up an elephant's leg with rape on its mind.
Zeldman is FAR beyond you technically. Zeldman is to web standards what
Picasso is to modernism and what you are to tabloid journalism.

~~~
jasonmcalacanis
Mahalo actually is paying hundreds of contributors hundreds of thousands of
dollars a year at this point (since we launched Mahalo 2.0 in June). We're
creating a lot of work/income for unemployed folks all across the country and
we're proud of that. There are no slave... just folks doing good work and
doing well for themselves.

In terms of technology you would be surprised. Our Answer product is the most
advanced on the planet right now, and when you see Mahalo 3.0 in December
you'll be fairly impressed I think.

On the subject of Weblogs, Inc. one of the insider pieces of information you
might not know is that we built the most advanced blog publishing software at
the time (called Blogsmith), which AOL also bought. It's the highly scalable,
group publishing software that Wordpress and Moveable Type never had the time
to build, and it's why TMZ was able to grow so quickly, and why Engadget and
Autoblog became the #1 blogs in their vertical.

AOL was not a fool to buy Weblogs, Inc., in fact AOL's entire strategy right
now is to be Weblogs, Inc. If you listen to Tim Armstrong's talk at Web 2.0
this week he discusses growing from 500 to 3,000 freelancers and launching
hundreds of vertical content sites (aka Blogs). When we sold weblogs, Inc. it
had 500 contributors around the world... and that after only 18 months in
business (yes, we sold the company for a reported $30m after 18 months).

I concur Zeldman is more advanced at CSS than I am, but Zeldman wouldn't last
more than five hands with me in headsup poker, raising money, building a
business, building a team, doing M&A, building a brand or building a product
that passes 3, 5, or 10M unique visitors a month.

However, I might hire him to do some CSS or a logo. Then again I might put
that work on 99designs too. (zing! pow!)

Wait a second, why am I even responding to someone with elephant rape
fantasies?!?!

