
Email from a Married, Female Ashley Madison User - etiam
https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2015/08/24/email-ashley-madison-user/
======
imh
Most journalists choose to present a simplistic view of the world. Greenwald
seems unafraid of saying "the truth is complicated," and then proceeding to
tell a readable, worthwhile story. Every time one of these comes up, I make a
note to read The Intercept more.

~~~
brohee
Given that it's now clear that seldom any real woman used the site, it's more
likely than Greenwald was taken for a ride by Ashley Madison marketing dept.

Not what I want from a journalist...

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CmonDev
I wonder what would opinions be like if she was a guy...

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EliRivers
"My institution has a morality clause in all contracts."

I don't understand this. What is this? Is such a thing legally enforceable? Do
people have the chutzpah to put this in serious contracts, or is this some
kind of whacky church or the like? I know that in the UK just putting
something in a contract doesn't actually make it legally enforceable, but does
something like this fly in whichever state in the US this woman is in?

~~~
zer00eyz
The kind of institution that has people

"Write about marriage law policy, encouraging traditional marriage for the
good of children."

Is it enforceable, IANAL but I think it really depends on where you are.

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joesmo
The only thing that needs to be judged is how the security breach happened in
the first place, not the lives of its users.

~~~
k__
Just another site has been hacked, so what?

I find the personal and social implications much more interesting.

Millions of people lie the most important humans in their life, their
partners.

I'm organizing a polyamory meet-up every month and the new people there often
have the same kind of questions. They are in a monogamous relationship and
want to "meet" other people (often, but not only, for sex) and want to know
how they could get their partners to approve of this.

All they want a magical solution, but everything I can say is "talk to each
other".

But most people treat their relationships as an entity that exists in its own
realm.

They have their lifes and their relationships.

They don't talk to each other about what they really want, but plan marriage,
kids and whatnot.

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dudul
I still don't understand why most users didn't just create a dummy address to
sign up.

I mean, you're about to join a website whose sole purpose is to help you cheat
on your spouse, can you take literally 1 minute of your time to create
`darthvader9432@gmail.com` and make it your "cheating address"?

~~~
wfo
Most of them did (including the anonymous woman in the article), but they had
to pay for the service somehow and ended up using credit cards tracable to
their identity. It's pretty easy to make a fake email address, much harder to
pay for something anonymously.

~~~
dudul
Fair enough. I commented as I did because so far, all the stories/reports I've
seen mentioned only email addresses as a way to identify users. The only
searchable DB I saw where using email address.

I knew CC information were leaked as well but I didn't know there were
searchable DB for these as well.

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probably_wrong
I think that, by claiming "it is mostly wrong to judge, except for this
particular case, in which you can judge as much as you can", he's doing
exactly that which he criticizes.

If he's going to out those that "hypocritically crusade for legally enforced
morality", fair enough. But then I'm going to have a field day criticizing
those that "hypocritically crusade against legally enforced morality" while
actually expecting to live under the umbrella of such a system.

He adds: "It’s worth remembering that the reality is often far more complex
than the smug moralizers suggest", which is true. But I also find worth
remembering that the reality is often far more complex than the smug anti-
moralizers suggest too.

~~~
A_COMPUTER
Greenwald didn't do that though, as far as I can see. He even said that in the
case of the woman, while it may appear she is a terrible hypocrite,
circumstances of people's lives are complex. Contrast this with Dan Savage
writing about Josh Duggar. Savage personifies the gleeful vengeful hate that
Greenwald writes about.

------
zer00eyz
schadenfreude

I don't exactly have a lot of sympathy for this woman. Or any one caught up in
this mess.

"My institution has a morality clause in all contracts."

Choose to sign the contract, choose to sign up for the site, choose to (maybe)
have an affair?

Aside from my lack of sympathy, I don't think this woman has done something
unforgivable, or that makes her "unhireable". People make mistakes all the
time, shit happens. I have to say that if your in a place where this "matters"
then you need to address those issues, and move on. Its a big world, your an
adult and free to make your own decisions both good and bad.

~~~
Thetawaves
Lets see your high horse when your spouse is enduring a drawn out death and
you have nothing to comfort you.

~~~
zer00eyz
Her plight isn't about her spouse now is it?

Its about the fact that she has a morality clause in her contract, and that
she's going to get fired for upholding an arcane and backwards system that she
can no longer support herself.

Its not like they don't beat you over the head with support groups for both
patient and loved ones when you get ill. She had options for "seeking comfort"
that didn't involve her violating her own beliefs.

Should I feel sympathy that she broke her contract? Should I feel sympathy
that she told others to live to a standard that she could not live to herself?
Should I feel sympathy that she held on to an ideal rather than the real? Just
because I don't have sympathy doesn't mean I give a shit about what she has
done. As I have said people make mistakes all the time, and what she did
wouldn't impact me hiring or working for, or working with her, or being her
friend. Its simply irrelevant.

~~~
x0x0
it's not just violating her beliefs

it's violating her beliefs when they became inconvenient, after spending her
life shitting on others who didn't believe the same as she used to

~~~
zer00eyz
Right, hence schadenfreude and someone down voted me to hell for it to...

