

Don’t be a Grin Fucker - bhousel
http://www.bothsidesofthetable.com/2010/03/28/dont-be-a-grin-fucker/

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trjordan
I'll bite, and take the counterpoint.

Most people aren't grin fucking you because of some inherent moral
instability. They're doing it because fighting you over your idea that you're
in love with isn't worth it to them. First example he gives, where Manager Bob
is getting ignored -- what if the executive simply doesn't need or respect
Bob's opinion? He doesn't need to prove to every non-exec that he thinks his
idea is good. Unfortunate, but a fact of life in a hierarchical organization.

I like to think of myself as direct and honest, but the overwhelming social
norm (at least from what I've seen, on the East Coast of the US) is to pick
your battles. If you push back on everything you disagree with, you surprise
people and quickly pick up a reputation as argumentative. This is especially
true if you engage on issues outside your area of expertise. Programmers
telling accounting how to fund benefits? HR telling programmers which hours
are "proper" to work? Organizational grunts telling execs which markets to
expand into? Even if the outsider is right, it's not worth the time of the
expert to fight it, and they'll smile, nod, and hope you go away quickly so
they can continue being productive.

By all means, you should stand up and call out the obvious bullshit, but the
world is not black and white.

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sgift
Nothing hinders the executive from saying "Sorry Bob, I have decided this and
now we'll do it." - Instead he is basically lying Bob straight in the face.
This has nothing to do with picking your fights, but all to do with being
unable to stand by your decision and be straight about it.

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tjic
That was a stunning long post with which to deliver the message "don't
bullshit people; live up to your commitments".

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sketerpot
I think the real point was the spread the term "grin fucker". At least that's
what I took from it.

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wmeredith
I concur. And I'll pass. "Acting with integrity" as compared to "don't be a
grin fucker" hasn't exactly lost it's ring. The latter term is crass _and_
hard to say. Poor slang branding in a crowded lingual market, if you ask me.

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malbiniak
This article is so much more than the tasteful use of the word "fuck." For
example, this gem - "I mean Porter’s Five forces is a useful framework but
it’s basically microeconomics with a pretty wrapper." Amen.

Unfortunately, not being a good grin fuck comes with consequences, and Mark's
article is a little light on dealing with that backlash.

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gridspy
Hate the title. Agree 100% with your point. I always speak up - to a fault.

~~~
msuster
Ha. Yeah, but titles work. Newspapers learned that years ago. Hope the title
wasn't too offensive - just want to make a point.

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patrickk
I love this guys attitude.

When you are in business, you're not there to make friends. If everyone took
this attitude, there would be no corporate bullshit, no pointless niceties, no
pissing about on the phone for half an hour because the other guy can't get to
the point, no wondering did you get the job or not after an interview just
because the HR guy or girl can't say 'no', no polite rejections by VCs that
seem like something positive etc etc

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greenlblue
Haha, grin fucking. Same thing happens in academic settings when students make
up an excuse about their granny's death. I'm going to use this whenever
students come up to me and tell me a sob story about doing better on the next
test. I'm gonna say "Jonny, don't grin fuck me".

~~~
carterschonwald
unfortunately, if they're not lying and simply trying to be even keeled
despite the circumstances, then you'll be the asshole instructor with an
unpleasant paranoia about being grinfucked.

(next time please use something less emotionally loaded such as "a dog eating
their textbook" as your placeholder example)

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spudlyo
In the context of grin fucking, I don't believe emotionally loaded language is
inappropriate.

~~~
carterschonwald
I decline to give this remark any sort of content rich reply

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kljensen
I feel it is overly broad to completely eliminate "grin fucking" from your
repertoire of responses. For example, when presented with a bs-er with
powerful friends. GF-ing is a great option. Frankness is not always the best.

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joshu
He needs an editor.

~~~
msuster
I agree! Got any spare MIPS?

~~~
swombat
I do. Now following you on Twitter (wasn't before for some reason)... DM me if
interested.

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feedus
Paul's algorithm needs some work. this one shouldn't be first. Votes should
count for more.

