Ask HN: How do you handle your depression? - zzzcarrot
======
gesman
You don't handle depression. That's where everyone fails.

You come up with- and handle anything else - ideas, work, gym - whatever.

The moment you "handle depression" or "fight depression" \- you feed it.

You kill it by lack of attention to "depression". You kill it by focusing
attention to anything else.

Most effective is helping other people with whatever they need. That's because
it de-focuses attention from your own needs and when "you are depressed" \-
that would be your depression.

Go, find someone who needs help and save someone's day. Or life. It could be
person, place, animal or good cause.

~~~
altairiumblue
I couldn't disagree more with this advice. It's important to address your
mental health problems, not ignore them. Trying to help others, while you're
barely surviving each day, won't work out well in the long run. Just to be
clear - "lack of attention to depression" kills you, not the depression.

I also think using the word "handling" is appropriate. Maybe "managing" is
even better, because very often it's something that you need to take care of
for the rest of your life.

------
rs86
As others have pointed out there is no silver bullet. I have only very mild
depression and anxiety sometimes, I mean it bothers me a lot but it's far from
serious clinically. But I guess it would be worse without treatment.

\- taking care of my health \- taking care of my looks \- anti depressants
(cipramil) \- writing down my to-dos so I don't obsess over them and generally
organizing my week, not only work \- avoiding drugs and alcohol \- seeing my
friends and family often. Can't stress this enough. I'm blessed with many
friends and a loving family \- seing something really painful once in a while
to keep me in perspective. Can be as simple as watching hardcore documentaries
about Africa. \- doing good to others \- keeping busy - an empty mind is the
devil's office or so we say I'm Portuguese

------
alexrzem
Drugs (anti-depression), regular visits to a psychiatrist, hobbies (Warhammer
40K), and regular physical human interaction (game/hobby club), and diet.

All are important, as drugs alone won’t help, it’s a holistic solution.

~~~
jamestimmins
Agreed. It's not about dealing with it when it gets bad, it's about finding
long-term solutions that prevent it from going off the rails and making sure
you have the tools to deal with life when things get hard. Get on meds and
therapy and keep it going (especially) when things seem fine.

------
roundthecorner
My mileage, with emphasis on the 'Handling'.

The practices that I am outlining have allowed me to function at an acceptable
level however, they are not a cure for depression.

Meditation with a focus on getting in touch/accepting whatever is happening at
the moment.

Working out, running/jogging in particular.

Resigning to the fact that living a mediocre life is not that bad.

Reaching out and finding kindred souls, friends etc. Family, especially kids
and wife keep me moving even if they are not aware of my depression.

Resigning from the self-appointed position of CEO of the world.

~~~
acct1771
If you are working out and have friends, you're probably not living a mediocre
life, comparatively speaking. Hang in, friend.

------
Elof
I'd recommend starting with therapy and going from there if it's available to
you. I've been going to cognitive behavioral therapy for years and feel like
I've received a ton of value from it for a couple reasons.

1\. the therapist is a trained professional that can help me unpack and
normalize my experience.

2\. the therapist can recommend strategies to try and potentially refer me to
a psychiatrist if they think medication might be worth considering

3\. having a regular cadence of structured communication with a professional
gives me the time to reflect and think, when I'm depressed this feels almost
impossible on my own

There are so many factors that go into depression and in my experience its
very difficult to go about finding something that helps alleviate it alone. If
you aren't able to go to therapy for any reason than I would definitely
recommend trying out some of the strategies mentioned in this thread, but I'd
also suggest trying to find a family member or friend that you trust to talk
to about your experience as well. Depression is so isolating and it will
likely feel difficult to get the strength and courage to talk about it, but
it's been extremely helpful for me and I'd recommend it.

------
provlem
1) You are not alone . Millions of young people go through such stage all over
the word

2) Talk to people . Your parents , your siblings , your teachers. When you
discover people around you , you will find someone who can listen more and
answer you .

3) GET A HOBBY . one in SPORTS and one in music or Art. This will help you get
away from endless talks in mind . Basically depression is nothing but THINKING
same thing AGAIN and AGAIN

5) Set yourself goals to achieve . That will give you confidence and strong
spirit. AND that will give you everything

6) Learn to meditate . and read BHAGWAD GEETA . Einstein to STEVE JOBS to
Abdul KALAM all have read it and found peace . Its not a book of some God, in
my opinion , its a book of Spiritual life

Taken from here - [https://provlem.com/i-need-help-im-depressed-because-i-
think...](https://provlem.com/i-need-help-im-depressed-because-i-think-that-
life-has-no-meaning/0x4f17#answer-0x4f47)

------
jakegarelick
When you have the urge to self-destruct, reach out and do something nice for
someone else. It can be small, like wishing someone a Merry Christmas, or
buying a stranger a coffee. Rinse and repeat as necessary.

Also:

\- Exercise regularly

\- Maintain a regular sleeping schedule

\- Eat healthy (recognize when you are self-medicating with food)

\- Make an extra effort to groom yourself (wear cologne, shave daily, clip
your nails)

------
ricvelocity
EXERCISE EVERY DAY!

Follow these steps:

1 - Get outside and exercise. (it's free, simple and has immediate and long
term effects)

2 - Get out of your context, travel to a new town or a new country for a few
days.

3 - Read or listen to this (the audiobook free for a new account):

[https://www.audible.com/pd/Cant-Hurt-Me-
Audiobook/B07KKMNZCH](https://www.audible.com/pd/Cant-Hurt-Me-
Audiobook/B07KKMNZCH)

[https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1544512287/ref=dbs_a_def_r...](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1544512287/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0)

Talk to people that care about you, if that is difficult to find, then get out
and go meetups and make new friends
[https://www.meetup.com](https://www.meetup.com)

\-- Optional -- Download and listen to:

Get the Edge by Tony Robbins

Personal Power by Tony Robbins

There is always a way, never give up on being happy. It will get better.

~~~
DanBC
Evidence for exercise as a treatment for depression is weak at best, and most
of the research fails to show direction of causal effect: do people who
exercise recover from depression, or do people who recover from depression
become well enough to do exercise?

~~~
ricvelocity
People who exercise recover from depression, definitely.

For these reasons and more:

\- If you get outside consistently you will start facing reality from a
different perspective. (being at a desk or closed office constantly sucks and
contributes to mental and emotional atrophy)

\- You start getting free endorphins that will make you feel better instantly.

\- Also you relieve stress and pressure by burning energy.

If you mix that with travel, example running in a different place, town,
country, it makes wonders.

------
stephensam
Today so many people are facing the depression problem. Lots of people are
struggling with minor depression problem and few of them are struggling with
the major depression problem. But this problem is simply overcome by following
some of the natural methods. Many times people are not following natural
methods and also not maintaining their body health. It is also one of the main
reason for the depression. So we can naturally overcome this health issue.
[http://www.angelmeds.com/blog/natural-ways-to-master-
depress...](http://www.angelmeds.com/blog/natural-ways-to-master-
depression.html)

------
Beestie
Three things: 1\. Eat well (cut carbs as much as possible); 2\. Exercise (even
taking the stairs counts); and 3\. Volunteer your time to help others in need.
This will not cure all depression but will help quite often.

------
flocial
By getting help from a qualified professional and seeking out safe places
where you can share your struggle and open up without judgement (be careful
with this one).

As with any serious health issue prevention is always best to the extent
possible:

1\. Get sleep

2\. Regular exercise (cardio if you only have one choice but weights)

3\. Meditation

4\. Avoid toxic relationships/workplaces

5\. Do not put yourself in situations where you are constantly stressed

6\. But don't avoid challenges just make sure it's good stress (something you
can walk away from, recuperate, and grow as a person)

------
eeeelso
Hang out with people, whether it be family, friends, or Jesus.

------
jryan49
Getting out of your own head. Focusing on others, and doing things that keep
you busy even if you don't feel like you want to.

------
gaspoweredcat
Simple, i self medicate. ive learned enough both about myself and basic
pharmacology to fairly effectively manage it

------
ineedasername
I'm going to give a very comprehensive answer here. Please bear with me, I've
got lot's of expertise in this area, hard won, and this all may help:

It's important to note that not all depressions are created equally. There's
transient depression: most people may experience some form of this at some
point in their lives, and it can often be dealt with through short-term
medication, counseling, both of those, or sometimes just one of them.

Then there's chronic depression. If that's an issue, prior to accepting a
clinical diagnosis such as from a doctor (preferably psychiatrist) you should
push for a full blood screen, especially for things like thyroid and vitamin
D. There are things that can be picked up in such a screen whose symptoms
mimic depression, and you want to rule out obvious physiological causes that
have trivial fixes.

Next I'm going to get into the medication aspects of things a bit, but I'll
give some coping hints afterwards.

Assuming we're dealing with either chronic or intermittent & highly disruptive
episodes of depression, treatment can still vary greatly based on
circumstance. My own opinion is that a combination of medication and therapy
present the best long term prognosis for improvement. In some cases, these can
even be temporary, where medication helps improve things enough to be bearable
while you work out underlying issues and coping mechanism with a therapist
(DBT & CBT style therapy can be very effective here) but therapy styles can be
highly personal and different things work for different people.

In such a situation, on the medication front, an SSRI medication is usually
the first-line medication treatment. But the specific presentation of symptoms
can absolutely drive a different selection of medication(s). As one simple
example, depression with extreme anxiety is a strong risk for BP2 (bipolar
type 2) where the anxiety is actually mixed episodes (This is NOT always the
case). But in that sort of situation, a psychiatrist might reasonably be
reluctant to prescribe an SSRI which can exacerbate the hypo/mania symptoms of
BP2. As such, an atypical anti-depressant such as wellbutrin may be used, and
for acute anxiety/panic either a benzo class drug or in some cases a beta
blocker may be used for the anxiety/panic.

Now, here's the thing about medications: (please HN excuse my language here,
it's warranted I think though) it is a shitty process of trial and error.
There are dozens of medications, and each person can respond differently.
What's more, it can take months to determine if a given medication has had an
effect before you can move on to another. This means it can, literally, be
years before you find a medication or combination thereof that works for you.
It requires patience and the knowledge that things WILL GET BETTER. They do.
I've been at and slightly over the brink a few times in my life, and pulled
back form the edge enough to keep trying for better results, and every time it
has worked, and helped make the next time that much easier to trust the
process. You will find something that works, eventually. Search out good
doctors that will work with you as a partner in the process.

Now there's an exception to depression meds taking weeks or months to work.
Very few medications can have a near immediate effects. One option,
controversial, is Ketamine. You need a doctor open to this experimental
treatment to work with you, and money to pay out of pocket: insurance won't
cover it. Also it's considered a treatment of last resort, when many other med
options have failed. Another, easier to get option is modafinil (name brand
Provigil). This is basically an atypical stimulant, very different from
something like amphetamine type drugs like adderal. It is primarily used for
narcolepsy and other sleep disorders, as it's considered a "wakefulness
promoting agent". However research shows it can have a profound and rapid
improvement on depression. I speak from personal experience on this one:
Modafinil keeps me functional during depression and takes a significant edge
off it at the same time. I cannot understate the effect this drug has had in
helping me manage my depression. Caveat though: No drug works for everyone,
but doctors are often much more amenable to prescribing this one earlier in
the medication trial-and-error process, so it's worth a conversation.

Finally, meds are only part of the equation. As I said earlier, therapy is a
HUGE part as well. It will help develop better coping mechanisms at the same
time that it also helps get at underlying issues that either cause or
exacerbate depression, and can help alleviate them. So that's one thing. Next,
and maybe most important for the OP here, or others reading, is the possible
response to what I've said: _" Okay fine, but what do I do when I none the
less find myself depressed and curled up in a ball and feel unable to handle
anything or even get out of bed?"_

Here's the answer, and it sucks: You have to power through. I know, I know,
it's easy to say, and I know it can be the hardest fucking thing you ever do.
But here's the thing: when you're in that state, your brain is a damned liar.
It tells you it's better, easier, to stay curled up, to retreat from the
world, that to do otherwise is to feel even worse. IT. IS. A. LIE. You must
push to retain a semblance of normality. Set small goals if you have to: get
out of bed and shower. That's it. Then set another small goal: eat something.
Then another. At each small, excruciatingly difficult step, the next one will
become ever so slightly easier. Keep doing this until you increment your way
to some modicum of a normal routine, even if it's just going through the
motions of the day, merely showing up to work, etc. However if my own personal
experience and that of everyone I've ever spoken to about this is anything to
go by, as crappy as you feel stumbling through your routine, it will be better
than staying curled up in a (metaphorical) ball away from everything.

And while your depression may stick around for some time still, my experience
is that it nonetheless gets better at least a little faster. Sticking to a
routing distracts the mind just a bit, and every such distraction is a moment
you feel less depressed. The more of those you string together, the better you
feel faster. I also can't understate that it's during these depression times
you should absolutely tap you support network of friends and family. If you
feel comfortable enough, clue them in and ask them to help keep you on track
for normalcy in your life's routines. If you don't have a support network like
that to tap, try support groups: the DBSA (Depression & Bipolar Support
Alliance:
[https://secure2.convio.net/dabsa/site/SPageServer/?pagename=...](https://secure2.convio.net/dabsa/site/SPageServer/?pagename=peer_support_group_locator))
is a fantastic, fantastic resource here, and even have online chat based
groups too.

Also consider "grounding techniques" that help keep you, well, grounded. These
can be great distractions when too caught up in your own head. Here's an
example of a bunch of good ones: (I'm linking to google's text-only cache
because the site is for some reason inaccessible now, even though I've used it
for years... anyway, scroll down a bit to the list)
[http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:3bjZ-8G...](http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:3bjZ-8GU5AUJ:https://www.livingwell.org.au/well-
being/mental-health/grounding-exercises/&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1&vwsrc=0)

None of this is a silver bullet, but it can "take the edge off", and I know,
believe me I wish I didn't, but _I KNOW_ , none of what I've suggested here is
easy. But decades of experience coming out the other side of these things has
shown me they do help. Best of luck to you. Feel free to reply with more
questions, I have all too much experience here, and am happy to share the hard
won lessons I've earned.

