Ask HN: How do billionaires deal with their anxiety? - mkovji
======
thomasedwards
The same way non-billionaires do: there isn’t anything that money can do about
it. While ‘only’ worth $150m, Katherine Brosnahan (you may know as Kate Spade)
tragically hanged herself last week after suffering for a few years. If $150m
can’t buy you out of it, I’m not sure another $850m would.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Spade#Death](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Spade#Death)

~~~
asdfman123
They can quit stressful jobs, or immediately get appointments with great
healthcare providers, or go travel in Europe for a year.

Let's be fair: money can't solve all your problems, but it can solve some of
them.

The only problem is that serious mental illness is one of those things that
money can't magically fix.

~~~
pricees
"They can quit stressful jobs, or immediately get appointments with great
healthcare providers, or go travel in Europe for a year."

I believe I know what you mean. I disagree. I have no experience being a
billionaire, or a millionaire for that matter, however here are my casual
observations and thoughts:

A billionaire cannot just quit a job. There must be a transition period. A
billionaire can't just no call no show. It's possible, but it never happens.

A billionaire cannot travel to Europe like I can, going from Airbnb to airbnb,
hopping in an Uber, surfing with the locals, enjoying fish tacos. A
billionaire ends up being an ambassador with little privacy.

Immediately get appointments with great healthcare providers. Maybe. But so
can I.

~~~
giarc
I think you are lumping all billionaires into the "celebratory billionaire"
category. Sure Mark Zuckerberg can no longer zoom around Europe without being
recognized, but how many would recognize Len Blavatnik, #46 on Forbes
billionare list worth $21B (for example).

~~~
loeg
> how many would recognize Len Blavatnik, #46 on Forbes billionare list worth
> $21B (for example)?

Exactly. Or even the Waltons, two of the Forbes top-15. If their image isn't
part of their public brand, you probably wouldn't recognize them.

------
bcantrill
There was an excellent article on this in the Atlantic on the "Secret Fears of
the Super Rich"[1]. The Atlantic article matches my (secondary) experience:
while I am (emphatically!) not in this camp (I definitely need to work to pay
my mortgage!), I have several close friends who are outrageously wealthy, and
I have observed that their lives are not made less stressful by their wealth
-- but the specifics change. For example, there is great anxiety about how to
raise their kids, especially for those who were not themselves raised in
wealth: they are torn between providing their kids those things that they did
not themselves have while still having their kids seek those things that they
themselves sought. This is much harder to square than it might sound, and I
don't think that there's a pat answer -- though I would observe that the ones
I know with the fewest problems are those that are the least ostentatious with
their wealth.

None of this serves to answer the question of how they deal with it, but
rather to confirm what we probably all know: while money makes certain things
in life easier, it is not a cure for all ills.

[1]
[https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/04/secret-...](https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/04/secret-
fears-of-the-super-rich/308419/)

~~~
sjg007
I think the kid question is easy. Yes, you give them things you did not have
but you also have to foster a sense of respect of the privileges they may have
now that others do not. You can also have them earn things as well with
whatever that might be. Your childhood is different then theirs qualitatively,
temporally and situationally. And I think what kids really want and need is
quality time with their parents regardless.

------
hprotagonist
If we're talking about the anxieties that come from, say, the nagging sense
that "there should be more than this to life; i have everything, why aren't i
happy?": The wise ones give all their money away. "Great gifts mean great
responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities!"

Not to be confused with the (damaging) ideas of the "prosperity gospel",
Andrew Carnegie wrote
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_Wealth](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_Wealth)
, and now we have libraries.

Bill Gates is busy trying his hardest to stomp out malaria.

Paul Allen is trying his best to do as much blue-sky biomedical research as
possible.

etc.,etc.

Even if, perhaps especially if,you came into your riches by unscrupulous ways,
seeing that your surplus wealth is sunk into things that matter will help you
sleep better at night -- because, indeed, you're doing what you ought to be
doing.

------
CPLX
Most of the answers here are assuming that we are talking about the same kind
of anxieties everyone faces. Which to some extent is true. But I've spent some
time around celebrities and billionaires and I don't think that's totally an
accurate take. They have different problems from you and me.

For the most part they don't have the day to day anxieties about money and
what things cost of course. And also they have less of the sort of existential
dread that their lives won't matter, as they are surrounded by a lot of
evidence they are important.

From what I can tell the main anxiety comes from the drastic effect it has on
_interpersonal_ relationships. When you have a tremendous amount of money and
status you necessarily have a very hard time trusting people, and you're
likely to face a near constant inundation of people who want things from you,
and who often are being disingenuous about their intentions.

It's exhausting. For the most part they deal with those anxieties by finding
ways to get out of that situation by surrounding themselves with people that
have similar money and status, removing themselves to isolated or exclusive
places, and so on.

------
pascalxus
This will come as a shocker, and It's not commonly known, but there's quite a
bit of research accumulating, showing that extreme electrolyte imbalances such
as magnesium deficiencies can exacerbate or even cause anxiety and depression.
It's closely linked to our Calcium intake (which is often waaayyy too high for
people who really like dairy - it's higher than you think because the US
recommendation is twice what it should be: 1000mg vs the WHOs recommendation
of 500mg - this means if the label says you got 30% of DRI of calcium, you
actually got 60% or more!). Too much Calcium inhibits the absorbtion of
magnesium, thus compounding the issue even more. Some studies even show, that
with calcium intake increased, their depression levels. And with increased
magnesium intake, depression levels decrease: "Case histories are presented
showing rapid recovery (less than 7 days) from major depression using 125-300
mg of magnesium (as glycinate and taurinate) with each meal and at bedtime"

Here's one of the studies:
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16542786](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16542786)

But, there's several more.

Back to the question: With all their money, they could probably afford to eat
the very best foods and could higher a nutritionist to help them plan high
magnesium foods. For everyone else without all that money, there's always my
nutrient based food/recipe finder:
[https://kale.world/c](https://kale.world/c)

Use it to find the most Magnesium dense foods or any other nutrient for that
matter.

------
DoreenMichele
I don't know any billionaires, but I have known some fairly successful people
whose success grew out of their anxieties (at least in part). They were not
comfortable being vulnerable, ordinary people so they acquired degrees and
titles and money and power to hide behind when dealing with other people.

So I will suggest that in some cases the answer may be that _becoming a
billionaire_ is part of how they dealt with their anxieties.

------
FahadUddin92
I think I can answer this because I asked this to Elon Musk around a year ago.
Billionaires have higher anxiety and relentless stress. They just hide it from
the world. Many develop mental diseases such as anxiety, disorders etc. Here
is a link to my conversation with Elon Musk:
[https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2017/08/03/elon-
musk-a...](https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2017/08/03/elon-musk-admits-
what-many-others-may-be-secretly-feeling/#18a39b846cba)

------
Thriptic
They talk to other wealthy individuals. People with a lot of money generally
have fairly small circles of friends because it becomes very hard to trust
peoples' motives. Most of the people who approach you want access, money,
status, or a mixture of those things. Very few really care about you as a
person.

The classic "mo money, mo problems" sounds (and is) ridiculous to people
without much money, but after a certain threshold it actually becomes true.

------
ma2rten
They probably see a therapist and talk about it?

I think that billionaires have better ways of dealing with it than poor
people.

~~~
Cakez0r
Could be tricky to find a therapist that can empathise with the anxious
billionaire ;)

~~~
chippy
I think the majority of therapists would be able to empathize, but they might
not sympathize :)

------
lbriner
I don't think a billionaire's money buys as much relief as we might think. You
_could_ afford the best therapist but are you getting quality or just someone
who can big up their reputation to justify charging you $10K per hour for the
same service as every other therapist?

Money can certainly bring you suspicion of others and that can make it as hard
as it does for the rest of us to get things done!

It also doesn't buy self-awareness, one of the most important starting points
out of anxiety.

------
pasbesoin
Disclaimer: I'm no billionaire. Just a bit older, and experiencing perhaps a
bit of wisdom -- and no small measure of regret -- from my own life
experiences.

Take care of your physical health, and your well-being -- including especially
your day-to-day environment and social relationships.

Money makes some of this easier. On the other hand, if you don't do these
things, no amount of money will fix it. (And many health problems, no amount
of money can fix or undo. You want to prevent them occurring, in the first
place.)

P.S. I do know a few significantly rich people who seem fairly happy. And the
above is what I notice.

Financial constraints -- and bad teaching and communication about same -- kept
me from addressing and moving away from some very significant stressors.
Anxiety became severe and chronic and fed into a downward spiral. Despite
having very high intellectual marks, from multiple sources, as well as the
reputation for being a nice guy (hopefully, without the quotes: "nice guy").

Actually, earlier than that, family and school compelled me to endure chronic
abuse and bullying, with no effective help from the responsible adults. That
seemed to initiate the core of the anxiety.

Both the family and the rather well-endowed school system plausibly had the
resources to make things different, but they didn't.

Back to my point: Pay attention, and use the money to take care of yourself
and your environment. This also makes essential social connection easier --
feeling better about yourself. Best proposal I have.

------
maxxxxx
Probably like anybody else although they probably have a better chance for
dealing with it since they can afford to take time off to care for themselves
and hire the best therapists. Otherwise they are people you and me who just
happen to be good at business but this doesn't mean they are better equipped
at handling other issues like mental health.

------
bsvalley
Not sure the HN community can answer this question. Or maybe some of us are
billionaires?

There are no-money-problems and to-much-money-problems. I think the later is
often misunderstood. Lawsuits are usually a pain, not only for billionaires
but for wealthy entities in general. If people know you have a lot of money
then they'll try to get a piece of the pie, including the government. So yeah,
might be a little stressful.

Though my guess is that if you made to the top and became a billionaire from
your hard work, then you can certainly handle stress and anxiety. You might
even be a freakin guru at it.

------
ishikawa
The question makes sense as we as humans will always be worried about
something. If you don't have anything to worry, you will complain about the
weather. Billionaires somehow found a way to waste their time worrying about
really big problems. Their level of anxiety at first will be the same, but
applied to bigger things. Others might take it as a game. It all depends of
course. Some people get more anxious about facts, problems. Others about
dealing with other people.

------
Freestyler_3
They probably keep trying to find new interests that can give them hapiness.
They will be active in it for a while, and then they go to the next. They
might do dangerous things like climb mount everest? They have more hobbies
they can choose from (since no money limit). I imagine there's a lot of things
that can be harder. Especially socially, always having doubts about people.

------
vorpalhex
I'm taking your question to mean "how do they deal with the normal non-formal
anxieties everyone has". I'm theorizing here, I'm nowhere near a billionaire,
but I've known some fairly wealthy people (though wealthy with a M, not a B).

\+ Diverse investments

Instead of keeping all their eggs in one basket, they tend to be invested
heavily across multiple spectrums. Oil and gas, health insurance marketplaces,
real estate, etc. Even if one facet of their portfolio crashed, they wouldn't
be screwed.

Many of them will even make well known subpar choices to add some "insurance",
like keeping a safe full of metal silver and gold bars, or even investing in a
well supplied safe room. It's not that they're expecting to use those things
or make a profit from holding rare metals, but to them $20k is nothing to
invest in a "just in case" fashion.

\+ Multiple experts

You or me might have one doctor, they might have three or four they get
opinions from. Likewise for accountants or lawyers. This gives them
flexibility, better chances for good outcomes, and less likelihood of a single
person being able to screw them over.

\+ Outsourcing to experts

Most of us probably only go to a doctor or a lawyer when things get way out of
our depth. Likewise for an electrician. Someone who is wealthy can afford to
apply experts to every problem they have. Instead of only going to a lawyer
when they really think things have gone wrong, every single contract can be
reviewed by an expert.

\+ Concierge services for when things go wrong

Ever have a flight get massively delayed or end up in the wrong city? For most
of us, it sucks and we scramble to deal with it. The wealthy can afford custom
concierge and assistants who can fix things in a single call. Flight stopped
in the wrong city on your way to your exotic adventure? No problem, one call
and you'll have train tickets and a cab booked so you don't miss anything.

This applies beyond travel. Health crises in a foreign country? Call the
hotline and have a doctor show up at your hotel instantly. Lost in the
mountains while hiking? Pick up the sat phone and have a rescue team scramble
to your location.

\+ Amazing amounts of connections

When we go to a museum and there's a crazy line, we have the choice of waiting
or walking away. Someone who is wealthy and a savvy donor can call and arrange
a private tour instead. Likewise for getting into sold out shows, better seats
at plays, or even booking tables at restaurants. For someone massively
wealthy, donating a few thousand a year to local art institutes not only looks
good and has tax benefits, but costs relatively nothing and comes with amazing
benefits.

Likewise, they get to mingle with actors, celebrities, important leaders, etc.
Suddenly the rolodex goes from a few well known friends to an impressive array
of people with amazing amounts of power.

~~~
kbutler
So, basically they are playing the game with full cheat codes, nothing is a
personal challenge anymore, so it gets boring/tedious quickly?

~~~
vorpalhex
They have other challenges. A large one is the amount of work that goes into
managing that kind of money - usually at any given time there are several real
estate transactions going on, stocks moving, social events that are borderline
mandatory from a politics side of things, etc.

There's a big concern that your money might be used illicitly or illegally, or
even if you try to give it to a good cause, that it may be squandered.

You also have to worry about nutjobs who find out you have money - this leads
to security, both guards and changes in how you live your life. If you have
kids, their lives are probably very sheltered since kidnapping is a very real
and very serious threat. Likewise for close family members.

The value of money is always a diminishing return, and eventually it can
become a liability.

------
AnimalMuppet
Snarky answer: They sleep on piles of money.

Less snarky: They have different anxieties. They don't worry about losing
their house or their job. They don't worry about the monthly bills or an
unexpected medical event. Instead, they worry about being back in the place
where they have to worry about those things. (I think. I'm not, alas, in a
position to know first-hand what billionaires are anxious about.)

So they spread their money around. "Divide your fortune into seven, or even
into eight, for many are the mischances of the world" is good advice. (It's
from Proverbs, in the Bible.) Billionaires do this, so that they can
comfortably survive any particular investment going horribly bad.

Then, I suspect, the more aware billionaires worry about their effect on
people. They can throw money at friends' and relatives' problems, but that may
actually cause more harm than good. I don't know how they deal with that -
maybe by having a fixed policy of what they will and won't do, and not
deviating from it no matter how good the story sounds.

~~~
Cakez0r
I imagine the anxieties of billionaires are more existential. For the average
person, a huge chunk of your time and energy is spent on obtaining enough
wealth to support your lifestyle. Life is about providing for you and your
loved ones, and how you can provide more.

Without that purpose to pursue, a billionaire might feel anxious about what to
do with their life.

------
ak39
They become philanthropists.

------
itronitron
I don't know, give me 10B and I'll get back to you in a few years.

------
Dowwie
Why is this on the front page?

~~~
kbutler
Why did you click on it?

------
zhte415
It seems a simplistic question, so a simplistic answer is: have a Private
Banker.

------
jbob2000
I’d argue that an “anxious billionaire” is an oxymoron. The qualities that
push someone to billionaire status are in direct opposition to someone who has
anxiety.

~~~
resource0x
quick google search

[https://jamesaltucher.com/2011/10/the-six-diseases-
billionai...](https://jamesaltucher.com/2011/10/the-six-diseases-billionaires-
get/)

[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/david-harding-
bill...](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/david-harding-billionaire-
explains-one-of-biggest-anxiety-felt-by-the-super-rich-a7220306.html)

[https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/how-panic-
attacks-...](https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/how-panic-attacks-and-
stress-led-a-billionaire-to-disappear/ar-AAqairS)

etc...

