
Stay at home mom? What do you DO all day? - joebeetee
http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/10/09/youre-a-stay-at-home-mom-what-do-you-do-all-day/
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singingfish
I did being a stay at home dad for a few years. I didn't like it much,
although it was fun in small doses. These days thanks to retooling my skill
set as my stay at home dad side project, I'm a dad that works from home on
interesting stuff that pays the bills. My inlaws were not impressed with my
house cleaning abilities.

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NovemberWest
_We get a lot of things wrong in our culture. But, when all is said and done,
and our civilization crumbles into ashes, we are going to most regret the way
we treated mothers and children._

I am a former sahm. I like this guy.

~~~
joebeetee
_Yes, she is just a mother. Which is sort of like looking at the sky and
saying, "hey, it’s just the sun."_

I'm a guy and I like this guy

~~~
NovemberWest
I do not see myself as a feminist. I want a career but my kids come first. I
think society is so broken in part because we are destroying families in part
to promote the idea that women "should" work at paid jobs. I think that's
really not the right mental model. I think we need to work on giving families
more support and women more genuine options. We really are not doing that
currently.

Have an upvote.

~~~
singingfish
I disagree. The stay at home mum phenomenon is a manufactured anomaly
originating in (post-)industrial, middle class society.

~~~
joebeetee
Really? Could you provide a bit more information? How did it work prior to
that?

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singingfish
well pre-industrially work was largely home of near the home based. Everybody
pitched in, in much the same way you see work being divided up in developing
countries these days. While many benefits arose from industrial society, I
don't feel that semi-disenfranchising women from large swathes of the
workforce was one of them (men get the crappy end of the stick too). The
wikipedia page on the housewife indicates that it's a thousands of years old
phenomenon, but I think that is making assuptions about money being as
important in society as it is today (and outside of industrial society it
really isn't).

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sivetic
Great read, thanks. My wife is a SAHM, and so far I haven't had any negative
comments about it, but would feel exactly the same as you do if/when I do run
into the same situation. Can't say the same when it comes to comments
regarding our parenting choice, but that's a different matter altogether.
People love to be 'right' (and come off as horribly judgmental) when it comes
to certain topics, parenting being one of the worst. I've gotten good at
comebacks to those kinds of people.

~~~
joebeetee
Care to share a few? :)

~~~
sivetic
Your 3 month old is a lot happier to be put down and to be with people other
than his parents than your 2.5 year old is. And that's because your 2.5 year
old slept with you. (happened tonight, despite the person knowing fully well
both children co-sleep).

Oh you don't let your kid eat copious amount of candy? That child is deprived!
(Happens on a regular basis, as we avoided candy and food high in artificial
sugars for the year and a half, and restricted it to a single reasonable
serving since).

You co-sleep with your children? That'll suck when they're 18 and still
sleeping in your bed.

Your daughter is STILL rear-facing in the car (was until a week ago at which
point she went past the height limit even though she has another 7lb before
she hits the weight limit). My children rode in the lap! (same person has
conveniently ignored our explanation of safety of rear vs. front facing car
seats in the past).

Worst part of all the comments is people always picking on something they
perceive as negative. The same people never comment the positives, such as the
2.5 consistently eating the same well-balanced meals adults eat, how well
behaved and well spoken she is, etc. I'm well used to it by now, but still I
take pleasure in shutting them down with smart-ass replies.

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chrisgd
My life would be so incredibly difficult if my wife didn't stay at home. When
I come home our 20-month old is ready to play and I just don't see how she
does it all day, keeping up with a never stopping, never slowing, ball of
energy.

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joebeetee
This is clearly an incredibly polarising and sensitive issue - have you seen
the (9000+) comments on the blog post? Despite the fact that he specifically
says that mothers who work aren't doing anything wrong, that seems to be the
first issue that people defend.

