
Ask HN: Should I tell that I had cancer to my interviewer? - xgbi
Hi guys,<p>I&#x27;m stumbling out of a Lymphoma, which might be cured (we&#x27;ll have to wait another couple of years to know..). This was quite the life changing experience for me, being 29 with 2 kids (one was 1 month old when I was diagnosed).<p>We decided to move to the country side with my wife, to provide a less stressful environment to all of us, which also means that I&#x27;ll have to quit my job soon. My bosses agreed to allow me for remote working but only temporarily so that I can get the time to find a new job in my new location.<p>I will be starting sending resumés and so on soon, but I&#x27;m not quite sure what to say about our reasons for moving, and especially telling them I could go back to chemo and medical leave for another 6-8 months at very short notice if the cancer decides to flare up again.<p>On the other hand, hiding this kind of information would be a bit awkward, especially since I have quite the scars where they performed biopsy and inserted the port.<p>I know some people here have businesses and interview candidates, what would be your reaction to an interviewee telling you that?
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theGREENsuit
I'm in a similar situation. Diagnosed with colon cancer at 34 with a 3 year at
home and my wife still pregnant with our second one. I ended up switching jobs
after my surgery and know that things could flare up again. I didn't bring it
up during my interviews since it wasn't something I felt I needed to mention.
The focus of the interview is your skills and how well you'd fit in with the
team. As someone already said, things happen to employees whether they've been
at the job for 10 years or 10 months. Employers know that.

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brudgers
In the US, there's no reason to disclose your health status to an employer.

Good luck.

~~~
jason_slack
Yes and women do not have to disclose that they are expecting either.

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JSeymourATL
> but I'm not quite sure what to say about our reasons for moving...

Simple, we're living our dream and think the countryside is an ideal setting
to raise our family.

Reasons for personal health disclosure can vary. That Key Man detail could be
important to a business partner. A recruiting bozo or corporate manager not so
much. Move forward assuming as if you'd been given a clean bill of health.

Incidentally, your current bosses have allowed you to work remote temporarily.
If you've demonstrated you can still contribute value to the team, perhaps
they'd be amenable continuing the arrangement. Say, why not go another 6
months and jointly evaluate if this is working? It's worth exploring, there
are always exceptions. Godspeed!

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Jemaclus
I have a hearing loss. It takes a little while for people to notice, and I
generally do very well in face-to-face, one-on-one interactions, so during
interviews, I never bring it up. Back when I was dating, I struggled with
whether to bring it up on the first date. On the one hand, it shouldn't
matter. But on the other, I would find it deceptive if someone I went on a
date with held back information like that (e.g., "I have a kid" or "I have
cancer"). It's not necessarily a deal breaker, but I would totally understand
if the other person walked away. Fortunately, I found someone, so I don't have
to deal with this any more on the dating front.

But for business? It's none of their business. If I get the job, I'll bring it
up with my immediate team on Day 1, but otherwise, I don't say anything. For
cancer, it's really just none of their business whatsoever.

~~~
jeffwass
Hi Jemaclus,

I have a child with hearing loss. Mind if I ask you a question? How have you
found your partners reactions on dates regarding your hearing loss?

I'm assuming you don't wear hearing aids, as per your uncertainty of whether
to bring up on the first date. So when your date does find out about your
hearing loss, does it generally have an observable impact on either the date
or the prospect of future relationship?

And maybe a harder question to answer : do you think the wearing of hearing
aids has more of an impact in prospective dates? Logically, having hearing
aids to correct hearing shouldn't be viewed much differently from wearing
glasses to correct vision, but curious of your experiences.

Thanks.

~~~
Jemaclus
I actually do wear a hearing aid, but people tell me that they don't notice. I
also keep my hair a bit on the long side, so it's not usually visible. it's
also very small.

I haven't really run into anyone who immediately ended a date, but I suspect
that I've been declined for dates because of it. I have also gone on strings
of dates with women where they eventually either just fizzled out and stopped
accepting new dates, or they pulled the "let's just be friends" card. I would
be foolish to attribute this all to my hearing loss (I can certainly be a
difficult person at times), but part of me always wonders.

To answer your second question, I think there is still a small stigma attached
to it. Glasses are ubiquitous in today's society. Hearing aids, not so much.
That said, the bluetooth revolution in the last five years has gone a long,
long, long way toward making it more acceptable (or at least normal) to see
something sticking out of someone's ear. Little kids will sometimes come up
and ask me what's in my ear, but adults never do.

That said, my hearing aid is amazing. It has Bluetooth capabilities. I can
listen to music without having to wear headphones. I can stream a phone call
directly to my hearing aid, without the awkwardness of trying to hold a phone
speaker up to my hearing aid microphone. It has volume control, "restaurant
mode" for loud situations, and even "music mode" that doesn't filter out
background noise at all. It's pretty fantastic, and I think over time, it will
only get better.

The biggest hassle I have right now with hearing aids is battery life. I've
developed a sixth sense about it, where I'll just randomly think, "Huh. When's
the last time I changed the battery?" and then an hour or two later it will
die. Still, sometimes I'm caught unaware. One time I was at a job interview,
and it died on me. I had to excuse myself and go get a fresh pack of batteries
from a Walgreens across the street. They still passed me on to the next round
of interviews. (I didn't get the job, though).

If I had a few million dollars to do a hardware startup, I would try and
develop a hearing aid that runs off body heat or some other mechanism. The
main reason hearing aids are so big is because the case has to hold the
battery -- the battery is by far the biggest component. If we could get rid of
it, it could just be a band-aid like strip on the back of the ear and
practically invisible.

Sorry, I digress. Going back to your earlier questions, I should be clear that
the visibility of the hearing aid is probably not a problem. The actual
hearing loss is probably the biggest turn off. Hearing aids aren't like
glasses, where you can technically get back to 20/20 vision with minor help.
You never really get back to 100% hearing with a hearing aid. There's always
something off. And even my friends sometimes get tired of me saying "What?"
all the time.

I hope that was helpful. Feel free to email me if you have any further
questions. I'm happy to answer. I believe my email is in my profile.

~~~
jeffwass
Thanks a lot for the detailed response Jemaclus!

Would like to talk more. Don't see your email address in your profile, but
found your webpage (but no contact info that I saw?) and tried connecting with
you in LinkedIn.

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saluki
y, that's not really a topic for an interview, focus on your skills and
whether you are a good fit for the position.

You stated the reason for moving if that even comes up: We decided to move to
the country side with my wife, to provide a less stressful environment to all
of us.

You're a remote employee looking for a local position.

I would look for remote work too it can be relaxing too depending on the
company.

You're currently cured/in remission . . . anything could happen to any
employee at anytime . . . don't penalize yourself for being a survivor.

Good luck in all areas. Enjoy your new location.

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kleer001
It's an interview, not a deposition.

Revealing that level of intimate information during an interview would be a
red flag to me of poor boundaries and possibly poor focus.

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kele
Bad things happen to employees. Every employer has to be prepared for that. I
see no reason to say about your condition during an interview, if they don't
specifically ask.

Good luck.

