

Ask HN: Depressed Engineer again needs help - m_g_i

Almost a year back, I asked for suggestions because I was depressed (read here: https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=5723330). I tried following advices which I got but that didn&#x27;t help much. Other than a better role, nothing much has changed (no hikes for 2 years now). Now, I&#x27;ve kinda decided to move on. The only reason which stops me from moving on is I&#x27;m attached to the company and few colleagues whom I can call good friends. I&#x27;m very emotional guy and I can&#x27;t let go things easily and it&#x27;s difficult for me to move on (I had lot of fights with my girlfriend over this issue).<p>Friends and Family always believed in me and told me that I&#x27;m very good at what I do, but I know I&#x27;m a procrastinator (I&#x27;ve improved a lot though) and postpone things till the last moment (still I can get things done before the due date).  I&#x27;m still depressed and can&#x27;t focus on anything properly. I really need help!!!<p>P.S. I&#x27;m based in Bangalore, India and I&#x27;m open for remote job offers in startups. I&#x27;ve worked remotely, before. I&#x27;m a full-stack engineer.
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ecolner
OK. Now I actually read your old thread. My other advice still stands because
if you address the feelings you're having it won't matter what your boss
thinks... And being happier in your current position is actually going to put
the manager at ease so they're comfortable promoting to the next level. Sucks
but that's how companies work.

Tactically I would sit down with your supervisor and discuss what's troubling
you, what you're trying to get out of your career and why you're not
fulfilled. Then ask them what's expected of you to get promoted: is it time on
the job, is it leadership on the team, is it technical achievement? What will
make me stand out in _this_ company on _this_ team? There may be details that
you don't know that are blocking your progress. If you aren't satisfied with
the answers then ask around to see if other teams in that company are
recruiting engineers. Don't make it a competition with your boss. Stay humble.
Try to be positive about what your boss advises you. Then after the meeting
just use the fact finding to decide where you want to put your effort.

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ecolner
I didn't read your previous thread so this might be repetitive but talk to a
physician about medication that could help. You think you are depressed.
That's a good start to fix something if there's a problem, but there might be
a chemical component to the way you're feeling. It's not uncommon for creative
people to feel the way you're feeling so this is a perfect place to discuss :)

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canatan01
What do you mean, when you say "I am depressed"? You mean the clinical/medical
term described on
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood)](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_\(mood\))
? If so, go to a psychiatrist immediately!

But if you just mean you are unhappy with your current situation, I would say
(like the advice you already got) talk to your boss. Did you do that? If you
are a procrastinator, why not start a side project you feel passionate about.
Apparently you can work fast, so I would suggest doing more (like side
projects or learn new programming stuff). Seems silly advice maybe, but I
think it might help you. But, if you really don't like your job, don't stay
just because you like the company or the colleagues. You can see the
colleagues after work and in weekends.

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shubhamjain
You can read all self-help advice in the world regarding procrastination. You
can create lists, mark "X"s on calendars, prioritize, promodo or whatever but
in the end, the motivation has to come from within. To draw a perfect analogy,
I read a post about how one guy suffering from heroin abuse, one day just
decided to quit seeing the company he was in. You can join the best de-
addiction center but still the motivation to quit has to come from within.

See the problem is just in getting started, once you start and get excited
with small success you can beat the "instant gratification monkey". There is
no magic solution to procrastination I am afraid. Believe me, I have learned
it the hard way. You have to learn to prioritize things in life. Do you want
to be one of those middle-aged fatso who regret everyday of their life?

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pfortuny
Doctor, doctor, doctor: you need a psychiatrist, and I hope you find a good
one. And give yourself TIME to get better. progressively. Hope it gets OK.

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stomljen
I was depressed for years and supplements, specifically omega 3 fatty acids,
plus therapy cured me of my depression

