Ask HN: How did you manage your stress or recover from depression? - adamfaliq
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Ws32ok
Two things to consider:

\- Identify cause(s) of stress. Operate on that cause. Address symptoms but
work on the underlying cause.

\- Depression is not simple but consider if your depression is about past or
future. Either direction is a problem that needs to be addressed by being more
present in the now.

I had massive eczema and a host of other issues caused by stress. Nothing
helped, eg creams, diet, meditation etc. The source of stress was ultimately
incompetent management where I worked. Bad schedules, faulty deadlines, poor
environment. I put up with it long enough to prepare my escape to a new role
elsewhere. Within 3 months at new position my skin issues vanished, I lost
quite a bit of weight, I had more energy. My depression dropped off
significantly.

Various drugs might help with symptoms but if they aren’t addressing the
underlying cause they can prolong the issue rather than solve it. Don’t ignore
medications that address an underlying cause of symptoms either.

One final catchall: go to a dentist, doctors. Get full blood work tests. Make
sure you eliminate all the “stupid simple” deficiencies or factors that are
easy to fix. Vitamin D is one of these for depression. I’m definitely
sensitive to that and it was an early cause we eliminated through just me
being outside more and supplements. It helped a bit.

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depressionguru
I was very depressed for a very long time. Here is my philosophy.

First, I have learned to define depression as “A captulation to loss of
control.” By that I mean, to be depressed you must (a) feel like your life
sucks and (b) believe you can’t do anything about it.

This is effectively the story of the elephant who spent it’s life chained to a
wall who, when the chain was removed, still acted like it was chained to the
wall.

The cure to feeling out of control is to systematically start controlling
small things and then working up to large things.

My method to get out of depression goes like this:

Wake up. Get out of bed. Make my bed (easy to control). Brush my teeth. Take a
shower. Get coffee. Clean my room. Clean & vacuum my house. ...(other stuff).
Address the thing that is actually bothering me.

After that point I add more and more challenging things. It is a ramp, from
small and local to prove to myself I control my environment up to things that
are really bothering me.

I call this my “stop being anxious and depressed plan” and I do the plan. By
the time I am up to item 5 I start to feel better.

Life is very, very complicated. Depression is very hard because it is
frequently the result of multiple things at once that create a self fulfilling
feedback loop.

The most important thing I ever learned was “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.”
This is effectively the practice of arguing yourself out of limiting or
negative beliefs.

If you are as depressed as I used to be, you are infested with lots of
negative beliefs that are preprogrammed. To stop being depressed you need to
trap and eliminate all these little beliefs.

CBT was the turning point for me, after that I stopped being depressed
forever.

~~~
muneersn
Thank you for this very well written and helpful comment.

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drakonka
I did not have depression but was very stressed and generally
agitated/unsatisfied/tired. This year I decided to take most of my yearly
vacation in July, like many people here do. In the past I'd take 2 weeks at a
time - this time I took 5 weeks. At the same time I read a book about the
importance of sleep, which also explained that sleep deprivation leads to
stress, anxiety, and other emotional and cognitive problems. During my
vacation I practiced good sleeping habits which I maintain today. I think next
year I'll take 4 weeks off instead of 5, but just pausing to take some time
off and get my sleep in order has helped tremendously with stress and general
life satisfaction.

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sanefive
antidepressant. I know it's a bit controversial but... at some point your
nervous system is not working properly, and there is no way you can heal if
your nervous system continues to overheat. Antidepressant allowed me to calm
it down, regulate it, to be able to sleep again, and start the (needed)
psychological work with a therapist. Both have to go together. It can take
months or years. But you'll fight it ultimately, trust me.

~~~
thwy12321
Curious to know if you ever got off anti depressants? Or youre still on them?

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sanefive
No i got off it. I thought it would take 3 months (naive hope). It took 18
months. It was a liquid solution, I had to take 7 drops per day. I had to
decrease the dose VERY progressively. I took my time. It was rally a small
dose at the end. But I wanted to be safe. Again, it goes together with a
proper therapy. One without the other is useless. So I progressed a lot during
my therapy, which allowed me to decrease the dose. It's been 2 years I dont
need antidepressant, and I dont think I will ever need it again. I am
completely cured :)

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wodenokoto
Recovering from depression: seeing a phycologist, starting on
sertralin(antidepressants) and getting peace of mind by removing a big project
that was waiting for me for "when I recovered".

Managing stress: through the above journey I learned to better identify when
im getting and why I'm getting stressed, and act on it.

And generally ive become better at distancing myself emotionally from project.

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Random_Person
I joined the Marine Corps. That was ~20 years ago now and it helped me in
immeasurable ways. I was a pretty crappy teen - suicidal, drugs, problems with
authority - and decided I wanted to fix that.

The Corps taught me to be confident and that helped me leaps and bounds...
until my wife became unfaithful and financial stress started to pile up.

For the past 4 years I leaned on medication to help me with the anxiety and
depression and only this week I have begun working with my doctor to taper off
of the medication. I'm at a place in life now where I don't need the crutch
anymore and the medication severely impacts my creativity. It was the right
choice at the time, but I'm ready to take on the world again.

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eshwar
Shift in perspective. Facing the facts.

1) Every creature (you and others) is going to the grave no matter what. No
one gets out alive. 2) You're alive _for now_. That in itself is enough to
start taking control of what you wish to experience inside yourself. 3) The
current moments cannot be changed at this point in time, but they can be used
to start looking at possibilities in situations ahead in life. 4) You are
actually responsible for everything that is happening _within_ you. So it is
definitely possible to change that.

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adamnemecek
Quit my job to read and code for shits and giggles.

~~~
DoreenMichele
Serious question: How are you keeping body and soul together?

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adamnemecek
In what sense? I keep improving as a programmer (a lot, like my skills have
gotten so much better since quitting). You contribute to open source. You read
shit from your reading list. You can make time to meet people if you feel like
talking to someone. The possibilities are infinite.

~~~
DoreenMichele
In the sense of making money to pay the bills. I'm sure all of us would love
to just do stuff for shits and grins, but most of us aren't independently
wealthy.

~~~
adamnemecek
I’m not independently wealthy. I saved a lot, and invested a bit. I’ll run out
of money eventually unless I launch something (which I’m in the process of).

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mosalarynolife
Exercise and socializing. Find yourself a new woman and you'll be out of the
hole in no time!

~~~
Aaargh20318
May not apply to everyone. For me, more socializing means I feel worse. I’m
happiest when I can spend as much time alone as possible. If I spend too much
time around people and in social situations it immediately affects my stress
levels.

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julienreszka
God and discipline.

I also used time blocking to do things even when I wasn't in the mood to.

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m3mpp
exercise, a lot of walk in parks, daily and also when feeling in "hell" during
the day, and also developing a spirituality, very important to find a way to
deal with the bigger questions...

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slipwalker
my got over my deep depression with therapy and medication ( prozac ). and
keep my chronic depression under control with the therapy. i really should be
doing some exercise, hit the gym, but still struggling with this one.

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leff_f
Learned an amazing meditation yesterday, can teach you if you need help.

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tiredwired
exercise, no alcohol, minimal caffeine

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YuriNiyazov
Wellbutrin

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k0t0n0
i only thinking about best case scenario. that's keep me happy and motivated.

