
Ask HN: I lost interest, what should I do? - yasbhagchandani
I have started a startup and worked very hard to make it successful until it got funded recently but as soon as partners came in the pressure increased 100 times and all of a sudden I am doing job in my own company. I have lost all the interest in work as well as company. I am very depressed and started drinking everyday just to sleep without feeling worst and directionless. I stopped going to office leading me to question my existence and having suicidal thoughts. please help me find a purpose in life.
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Essa
Hi there,

It takes a fair bit of courage to open up about such issues and seek help. I
want to start by saying that I respect you for doing that and that it's a step
in the right direction :)

I think the first thing is to speak to your local doctor or GP about how
you’re feeling. If you’re currently feeling absolutely overwhelmed, they are
the people who are best equipped/trained to help and provide short term
solutions. May I ask if you’ve considered or already tried this approach?

Cheers

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phakding
I've no experience with your situation. However, when I am burned out, I
travel to mountains to hike/trek. I disable all communication apps on phone
including email. Funny thing is, after I come back, sometimes I forget
passwords. That's how I know I have been totally out of it.

I would suggest you take some time off and do something that you enjoy.
Something different from what you do everyday.

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0aum0
Find something, anything positive to focus on. Then continue to focus on that
positive thing. If your mind wonders to something negative, bring your focus
back to the positive thing. Perhaps you are focusing on a recurring set of
negative thoughts? Reprogram your self with positive thought and you will will
your self into a different set of feelings. I've been through something
similar, and there are many things to do. I didn't like the thought of seeing
a counselor, but having found good genuine help I wish I had started sooner. I
like being in the sun, eating fresh fruit, and going out on walks. The basics
can help. If this sounds silly, try it and find something that works for you.
There are so many helpful posts others have commented. If nothing else helps,
ask God to help you? You are more precious than this world.

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random_comment
Hello there yasbhagchandani

Lots of people get suicidal thoughts, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of
people get depressed. Lots of people find that they have lost their reason to
show up for work when their startup changes into a larger company. Lots of
people develop problems with sleep and drink.

You're not alone in facing these problems. Other people survived all these
things and became happy again, and you can too, no matter how crazy or
difficult that might seem to you just now.

Well done on making your startup successful. If you don't have an interest in
that work any more now that it's changed, are there some other things you
would like to work on? What would you do if the startup never existed? What
would you do if you were completely free to pick any job in the world today?

Many of the things you feel are duties or obligations probably aren't, they
just feel that way. You don't need to stay with your company; you can start
another. Or you can take a career break and try some other work that gives
your days value and meaning.

It sounds like working there isn't a source of joy to you any more. OK, you're
free to leave the job any time you want. Anyone who tells you that you _have_
to stay is wrong.

Have you spoken with a doctor about the feelings you're having? They will be
able to give you advice and support in the short-term (less dangerous than
alcohol) until you find your path again.

I know that in some cultures there is a stigma about seeing a doctor about
depression. Ignore any stigma! The main thing that matters is finding your way
back to happiness. A doctor will be able to help you to see the way more
clearly and will give you directions to help you on the way.

It's probably best not to make any immediate changes until you speak with a
doctor, but you can start making plans for things you want to do in the future
that you think will make your life happier.

> please help me find a purpose in life.

Here is one to try: live for other people. Take joy from helping others and
being kind to everyone you meet. Don't set your measure of success by what you
have, but by what you give. Whenever you make someone else smile, you can
smile with them.

Are there any jobs you could do that would help you to serve that kind of
purpose?

Your former startup doesn't exist any more. Your old job doesn't exist any
more. You are no longer tied to them. You can thank your colleagues and start
a new job or a new company tomorrow if you want to. You can be free of that
particular burden any time you choose to be.

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ian0
Its a mission to get a company up and running, let alone to get it funded. I
assume you worked your ass of for it and succeeded against the odds. You
started with nothing and created something under duress, well done.

Burning out is a bitch. Your not alone, its something that a lot of us have
went through. Take a break, take stock. Seek your doctors help or at least
talk to good friends and let them know how your feeling - right now. Thats
what they are there for.

Later you may be back in the company and happy. Or off somewhere else and
happy. Doesn't matter really. Burning out is just your bodies sign that you
need a personal refactor before adding more features. And by fixing it your
giving yourself the foundation for the next crazy thing your gonna achieve :)

Get well soon man.

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segmondy
It's okay, most people don't wish to get rich, most people wish to be the boss
and run things, you just discovered which part you fall into. Since you don't
wish to get rich, walk away and start something new, next time don't accept
funding.

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personlurking
Many years ago, an unpleasant family member owed me money and I had tried in
vain to get it back, until someone pointed out that the cost to rid myself of
the negative experience and person was to view the amount owed as a sunk cost
and to walk away. From the moment I saw it this way, I felt relieved and
happier.

I know a funded startup is much larger in scope but perhaps the cost of your
sanity and well-being is walking away (as user random_comment says at the end:
"You can be free of that particular burden any time you choose to be.").

~~~
yashevde
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3L1Tokh3Pg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3L1Tokh3Pg)

I think you'll really enjoy this clip and this movie

~~~
personlurking
Thx. I remember seeing it when it came out, and again some years later. A
classic.

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rjkennedy98
My experience is that you need to be easier on yourself. That 100x pressure
you feel, my guess is that mostly that's yourself. Do the minimum to get by
and be easier on yourself till you feel like you are capable of more.

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tmaly
Take some long walks, do some thinking, breathe. You might have to pivot as
the company grows, your role will evolve. Try applying the 80/20 rule to
things. Think of it as an opportunity to grow a new skill set.

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jryan49
Maybe it's time to take a vacation and get some space from the company and try
to reflect on what's wrong.

