
On Being Accused (Neil DeGrasse Tyson) - smacktoward
https://facebook.com/notes/neil-degrasse-tyson/on-being-accused/10156870826326613/
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clay_the_ripper
It must be really hard to be in the public eye like this. He probably meets,
what? 10,000 people a year? Maybe more? Everyone wants a photo, a snippet of
conversation. The chances of saying or doing something stupid go up
astronomically.

Yes, there are genuine creeps out there. But no, I don’t think you can judge a
person by a few “puts foot in mouth” moments. We all do that sometimes, but
when you are a celebrity the stakes are so much higher.

~~~
ykevinator
To be fair, they are well compensated for it.

~~~
somada141
Sadly I have to agree with you, when you're in the spotlight like that you
have to realise that your actions ripple outwards and drive the behaviour of
susceptible recipients.

One can argue "he's just a guy, he did something stupid, probably thought it
was funny at the time" but that argument falls flat when you consider that
some people will use that as an excuse to imitate the behaviour. Even if
you're not a creep yourself, the "I was just messing around" excuse isn't good
enough when it might enable real creeps to do the same.

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gavanwoolery
In this case, and the case with Andy Rubin, I immediately thought "these
people are guilty" \- without evidence, without even knowing them or having
spoken to them or otherwise having any sort of real judgement about their
character.

I had to step back and realize that I was jumping to a conclusion prematurely.

In case you are not familiar with how the law works (outside of the court of
social media), an accusation, no matter how believable, is not damning
evidence - even when multiple accusations come to light. Objectivity is
extremely important in these situations because it has already been
demonstrated that our instincts are not impartial.

I'm not saying that any given person is or is not guilty, just that they
deserve a fair trial.

~~~
cjbprime
There is nothing wrong with suspecting that they are guilty when there are
multiple accusers, because you _are_ a person in the court of social media,
and not a judge.

It's okay to form an opinion without believing that your opinion should be
adopted as a legal conclusion!

~~~
quanticle
The problem is that it doesn't take a legal conclusion to ruin someone's life.
If enough people form a bad opinion of you, even if those opinions are based
off incorrect evidence, then your life is ruined, regardless of what the legal
conclusions say.

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abcdcba
“If I hug you I might just want more.” is a very creepy thing to say in my
opinion.

~~~
jtanner
Uncharitable reading: "a very creepy thing"

Charitable reading: "a funny throw away comment"

~~~
craftyguy
No, actually, it's just creepy.

~~~
czbond
While I'd agree with you 'in the wild' on a random person, if you watch Neil
for a length of time on stage,.... he has an energy about him. It almost
exudes as a hyperactive type of quality. Not many people are excited about
space "stuff" \- so I can see him just becoming overly excited when people ARE
interested.

~~~
craftyguy
I've watched NDT quite a bit (being an amateur astronomer myself), but that
statement is still creepy. I don't think that being 'energetic' automatically
excempts any individual from criticism for their actions and words.

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kyriakos
Usually the truth lies between the stories expressed by the two sides.
Condemning someone just because he is accused is definitely wrong. If things
are the way he says then in my book I don't think he did anything wrong but
that's just me and my opinion and I don't really know what happened the same
way anyone who condemns him doesn't either. Bottomline he's right about one
thing for sure, that everyone is a jury in the court of social media. Guilty
or not won't matter cause his popularity has already been hurt by the social
media backfire.

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caseysoftware
FTA: > _I was reported to have “groped” her by searching “up her dress”, when
this was simply a search under the covered part of her shoulder of the
sleeveless dress. "_

Umm.. what? If you wondered if Pluto was in her tattoo, why not just ask? Or
even make a joke, "Hey, do you have Pluto or did you get it removed like I
did?"

Actually touching her dress and moving any portion aside is bizarre at best
and creepy in many other cases.

~~~
desertedisland
The alleged groping:

[https://scontent-
lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p75x225/472313...](https://scontent-
lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p75x225/47231367_10156106015629370_6267043517558685696_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&_nc_ht=scontent-
lhr3-1.xx&oh=c46e3bae392213b5317d2668e089e3e4&oe=5CB0F8B6)

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Insanity
Might want to add Neil Degrasse Tyson to the title :)

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Nicksil
The complete text from Facebook

\-------------------------------

On Being Accused

NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON·SATURDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2018

For a variety of reasons, most justified, some unjustified, men accused of
sexual impropriety in today’s “me-too” climate are presumed to be guilty by
the court of public opinion. Emotions bypass due-process, people choose sides,
and the social media wars begin.

In any claim, evidence matters. Evidence always matters. But what happens when
it’s just one person’s word against another’s, and the stories don’t agree?
That’s when people tend to pass judgment on who is more credible than whom.
And that’s when an impartial investigation can best serve the truth – and
would have my full cooperation to do so.

I’ve recently been publically accused of sexual misconduct. These accusations
have received a fair amount of press in the past forty-eight hours,
unaccompanied by my reactions. In many cases, it’s not the media’s fault. I
declined comment on the grounds that serious accusations should not be
adjudicated in the press. But clearly I cannot continue to stay silent. So
below I offer my account of each accusation.

The 2009 Incident

I am asked by thousands of people per year to take pictures with them. A
flattering, time consuming, but delightful chore. As many in my fan-base can
attest, I get almost giddy if I notice you’re wearing cosmic bling – clothing
or jewelry or tattoos that portray the universe, either scientifically or
artistically. And I make it a priority to point out these adornments for the
photograph.

A colleague at a well attended, after-conference, social gathering came up to
me to ask for a photograph. She was wearing a sleeveless dress with a tattooed
solar system extending up her arm. And while I don’t explicitly remember
searching for Pluto at the top of her shoulder, it is surely something I would
have done in that situation. As we all know, I have professional history with
the demotion of Pluto, which had occurred officially just three years earlier.
So whether people include it or not in their tattoos is of great interest to
me. I was reported to have “groped” her by searching “up her dress”, when this
was simply a search under the covered part of her shoulder of the sleeveless
dress.

I only just learned (nine years after) that she thought this behavior creepy.
That was never my intent and I’m deeply sorry to have made her feel that way.
Had I been told of her discomfort in the moment, I would have offered this
same apology eagerly, and on the spot. In my mind’s eye, I’m a friendly and
accessible guy, but going forward, I can surely be more sensitive to people’s
personal space, even in the midst of my planetary enthusiasm.

Summer 2018 Incident

While filming this past summer, I had a (female) Production Assistant assigned
to me, to ensure, among her countless tasks, that every ounce of my energy was
efficiently allocated to the production needs of the show. As part of this,
she was also my driver, to and from the studio, ensuring that I arrive on
time. In the car we would review details of the shoot and she would help me
anticipate parts of the shoot to come. Across the many weeks of shooting she
and I spent upwards of a hundred hours in one-on-one conversation. We became
so friendly that we talked about all manner of subjects, even social-personal
ones, like the care of aging parents, sibling relationships, life in high
school and college, hometown hobbies, race, gender, and so forth. We also
discussed less-personal topics in abundance, like rock lyrics, favorite songs
in various musical genres, concert experiences, etc. And we also talked about
food – I’m kind of a foodie, and her fiancé was a chef. In short, we had a
fun, talkative friendship.

She is a talented, warm and friendly person -- excellent traits for morale on
a high pressure production. Practically everyone she knows on set gets a daily
welcome-hug from her. I expressly rejected each hug offered frequently during
the Production. But in its place I offered a handshake, and on a few
occasions, clumsily declared, “If I hug you I might just want more.” My intent
was to express restrained but genuine affection.

In the final week of shooting, with just a few days left, as a capstone of our
friendship, I invited her to wine & cheese at my place upon dropping me off
from work. No pressure. I serve wine & cheese often to visitors. And I even
alerted her that others from the production were gathering elsewhere that
evening, so she could just drop me off and head straight there or anywhere
elsewhere. She freely chose to come by for wine & cheese and I was delighted.
In the car, we had started a long conversation that could continue unabated.
Production days are long. We arrived late, but she was on her way home two
hours later.

Afterwards, she came into my office to told me she was creeped out by the wine
& cheese evening. She viewed the invite as an attempt to seduce her, even
though she sat across the wine & cheese table from me, and all conversation
had been in the same vein as all other conversations we ever had.

Further, I never touched her until I shook her hand upon departure. On that
occasion, I had offered a special handshake, one I learned from a Native elder
on reservation land at the edge of the Grand Canyon. You extend your thumb
forward during the handshake to feel the other person’s vital spirit energy --
the pulse. I’ve never forgotten that handshake, and I save it in appreciation
of people with whom I’ve developed new friendships.

At that last meeting in my office, I apologized profusely. She accepted the
apology. And I assured her that had I known she was uncomfortable, I would
have apologized on the spot, ended the evening, and possibly reminded her of
the other social gathering that she could attend. She nonetheless declared it
her last day, with only a few days left of production.

I note that her final gesture to me was the offer of a hug, which I accepted
as a parting friend.

Early 1980s

I entered astrophysics graduate school directly out of college in 1980. It’s a
grueling adventure-marathon, and many people do not finish the PhD. In fact,
it was not uncommon for half the admitted students to leave after two or three
years, finding some other kind of work in their lives. While in graduate
school I had several girlfriends, one of whom would become my wife of thirty
years, a mathematical physicist -- we met in Relativity class. Over this time
I had a brief relationship with a fellow astro-graduate student, from a more
recent entering class. I remember being intimate only a few times, all at her
apartment, but the chemistry wasn’t there. So the relationship faded quickly.
There was nothing otherwise odd or unusual about this friendship.

I didn't see much of her after that time. Our student offices were on
different floors of the building and we were not in the same classes. A few
years later, I ran into her, pregnant, with who I think was the father by her
side. That’s when I had learned that she dropped out of graduate school.
Again, this is not itself an unusual fact, but I nonetheless wished her well
in motherhood and in whatever career path would follow.

More than thirty years later, as my visibility-level took another jump, I read
a freshly posted blog accusing me of drugging and raping a woman I did not
recognize by either photo or name. Turned out to be the same person who I
dated briefly in graduate school. She had changed her name and lived an entire
life, married with children, before this accusation.

For me, what was most significant, was that in this new life, long after
dropping out of astrophysics graduate school, she was posting videos of
colored tuning forks endowed with vibrational therapeutic energy that she
channels from the orbiting planets. As a scientist, I found this odd.
Meanwhile, according to her blog posts, the drug and rape allegation comes
from an assumption of what happened to her during a night that she cannot
remember. It is as though a false memory had been implanted, which, because it
never actually happened, had to be remembered as an evening she doesn’t
remember. Nor does she remember waking up the next morning and going to the
office. I kept a record of everything she posted, in case her stories morphed
over time. So this is sad, which, for me, defies explanation.

I note that this allegation was used as a kind of solicitation-bait by at
least one journalist to bring out of the woodwork anybody who had any
encounter with me that left them uncomfortable.

Overview

I’m the accused, so why believe anything I say? Why believe me at all?

That brings us back to the value of an independent investigation, which
FOX/NatGeo (the networks on which Cosmos and StarTalk air) announced that they
will conduct. I welcome this.

Accusations can damage a reputation and a marriage. Sometimes irreversibly. I
see myself as loving husband and as a public servant – a scientist and
educator who serves at the will of the public. I am grateful for the support
I’ve received from those who continue to respect and value me and my work.

Respectfully submitted, Neil deGrasse Tyson, New York City

~~~
czottmann
As someone who explicitly blocked everything FB on a DNS level in his home,
I'd like to thank you.

On a related note, I noticed that Outline.com is useful for grabbing FB posts
like that one: [https://outline.com/csDYmp](https://outline.com/csDYmp)

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ykevinator
He is right that the presumption of guilt is bad, but typically these things
either snowball or fizzle, as more women come forward or none do. If I had to
gamble, I'd gamble he's done nothing wrong and this will go away.

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throwaway180118
I read the whole thing with his voice in my head and it made me mad.

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RickJWagner
I thought Judge Kavanaugh was treated in a grossly unfair manner.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson is a chance for us all to do better, let's not condemn him
without fair proof. He may well be guilty, but it's best to presume innocent
until PROVEN guilty.

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evilturnip
Neil Degrasse Tyson, Laurence Krauss and Michael Shermer have all been accused
of sexual misconduct. What’s up with the New Atheists?

