
Get Your Shit Together - Red_Tarsius
http://getyourshittogether.org/
======
courtewing
This is great advice all around, but get a local lawyer involved to prepare
your will. Even in US, there is not a single set of laws that apply to wills
and power of attorney. It varies state by state. With a generic template
pulled from the internet, you could just be doing a whole lot of work and
ultimately be ending up with a document that has little legal basis.

Do your loved ones a favor - hire a lawyer to do it. It's not free, but
they'll do the actual paperwork, and you'll get the comfort of knowing it's
done right.

~~~
pzxc
There are a few grammatical errors in these documents as well that do not
inspire confidence.

Also, you better be damn sure that you can trust the person you give power of
attorney to -- the document provided here assigns power of attorney
immediately, not on incapacitation/death, and allows the person you designate
to gift themselves up to $13,000 a year of your own property without your
consent.

Considering the laws of the 50 states are sometimes very different, and these
documents cover a wide range of legal topics, I think you'd have to be an
idiot to use these documents without running them by a lawyer in your state,
because they might not have the consequences you think they have.

Frankly I don't see why the HN crowd would upvote a site like this -- I'd bet
it was ring votes that got it to the front page. Or maybe it was just the
snarky domain, who knows.

www.uslegalforms.com has been around for a long time now, and they at least
have state-specific documents. Use them if you're going to use anything
without consulting a lawyer. But really, pay a lawyer, it's worth it.

I am not a lawyer, this is not legal advice.

~~~
jobu
> Frankly I don't see why the HN crowd would upvote a site like this -- I'd
> bet it was ring votes that got it to the front page. Or maybe it was just
> the snarky domain, who knows.

My guess is it struck a chord with people similar to myself - young family and
minimal EOL planning. (although the snarky domain definitely helps)

For us, the biggest problem has been deciding who should take care of the kids
if something happens to both myself and my spouse. The only members of our
family that aren't shitty people or very flaky are elderly or have medical
issues preventing them from caring for children. (And all of our close friends
have kids and full lives of their own.) I would love to hear if anyone has
suggestions for determining the least shitty choice in a situation like that.

~~~
napoleond
In the Roman Catholic tradition, this problem is solved with godparents. I'm
not Catholic (and I don't have kids yet), but the model seems to make sense.
Forgive me for stepping way beyond the bounds of "internet stranger's
business" but if your close friends' lives are _so full_ that they would not
care for your children if you became incapacitated, you need better friends.

~~~
tomjen3
I strongly disagree with that view. I don't have children of my own and while
I would open the door at 3 am to take friends in (or heck a neighbor) while we
get things sorted out taking on children is a major life disrupting
experience.

So yes saying no would be selfish, assuming that any of your friends would
have their lives completely disrupted just because you have children seems
quite a bit more selfish.

~~~
sukilot
The point is that throughout history, raising children are considered the
point of life, not trophies that are otherwise a distraction from vacations
and toys.

~~~
vacri
Well, no. Traditionally care for those kids goes to the extended family, not
the friends. Sneering at friends who won't take in children is not something
that you can support in terms of an argument of tradition.

------
iamthepieman
I didn't see this covered under the will section but do talk to important
people in your life while you are making your will. Nothing in your will
should be a surprise to those that are involved in your estate after you die.

If you are leaving a large asset (money, house, investments, a 500 foot yacht
in the Bahamas you never told anyone about) then the person getting it should
know before hand.

If you have kids you need to discuss what happens to them, who takes care of
them etc. This is a careful balance of the burden you put on family and
friends and the well being of you children with the balance favoring your
kids.

The most important thing is that you have these discussions and then document
them in a will. Do not just fill out an online form, have it notarized and
filed in a safe deposit box to be unearthed when you meet your end, timely or
otherwise.

The process of creating a will like this can be a catalyst to re-prioritize
your life and what is important to you and your family.

But of course, it doesn't have to be. As this site mentions, get your shit
together! It's better to have a boilerplate will squirreled away somewhere
that no one but your lawyer knows about than none at all.

~~~
ersii

      If you are leaving a large asset (money, house, investments, a 500 foot yacht in the Bahamas you never told anyone about) then the person getting it should know before hand.
    

Could you elaborate on why you should tell someone before hand that you're
going to leave assets in their name? Is it just common courtesy/manners in
your opinion? Or something else? I'm genuinely courageous.

~~~
smileysteve
Some things create hassles, especially illiquid assets like a house or yacht
if that person has no desire for them and no knowledge about selling them.

Also, family conflicts. If your brother's uncle's nephew gets the house
instead of the son who expects it, but there's good reason (he was renting it
already), family conflicts arise for not great reasons.

------
rcarrigan87
It's a morbid subject, but working in home health care I'm shocked by how many
people are totally unprepared when it comes to end of life planning.

And it's not just relatively young people or unexpected deaths. Many senior
citizens with decent sized estates are totally unprepared or just assume their
family will figure it out.

You pass on a lot of additional stress and hardship to your loved ones by not
being prepared.

I love the site title btw.

~~~
cortesoft
There was a great Planet Money episode on this topic:
[http://www.npr.org/sections/money/2014/03/05/286126451/livin...](http://www.npr.org/sections/money/2014/03/05/286126451/living-
wills-are-the-talk-of-the-town-in-la-crosse-wis)

------
__z
I doubt these documents would be worth anything without getting notarized.
Among other problems. Getting something notarized runs from free-around $2 so
it's hilarious they expect you to track down two impartial witnesses but don't
even mention a notary public.

If you are familiar with the current pending Supreme Court case DeBoer v.
Snyder (which for the Supreme Court was combined with 3 other cases) you'd
know in many cases you can't just appoint any guardian for your children upon
your death. Basically the facts are: a lesbian couple has 4 children - 2
adopted by one woman and 2 adopted by the other. All children have been raised
together as brothers and sisters by both women. No children we ever being
raised by only one parent. They found out that they couldn't guarantee that
the other parent would keep all 4 children in the event of the death of one
parent. Under Michigan law, in their case, the courts would be free to appoint
guardianship of the deceased's two children to whomever they choose no matter
the paperwork the couple drafted beforehand.

[http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/25/us/one-couples-
unanticipat...](http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/25/us/one-couples-
unanticipated-journey-to-center-of-landmark-gay-rights-case.html)

>Their close call with the truck that day in 2011 led them to a lawyer, Dana
Nessel, who advised them that she could draw up guardianship papers, but that
they would be nearly worthless legally. She urged them instead to file a
federal lawsuit challenging the adoption law in Michigan.

~~~
tptacek
The authors doubt that too, which is why "getting documents notarized" is in
the checklist.

~~~
__z
Must have missed it. I just opened the documents and read through them quickly
and didn't see anything about a notary public.

------
mootothemax
My father died in extremely unexpected circumstances, and as much as a will
would've been handy (understatement of the year), there are other bits that
save heartache and frustrated compromise.

For example:

\- do you want to be buried or cremated? And where? Any thoughts on coffin
design?

\- do you want a church service or something else? What songs, how big, as
many details as possible.

It's morbid stuff, but by writing it down informally somewhere, you lift the
burden from your loved ones having to make unknown "it's what he would have
wanted" guesses.

~~~
bradleyjg
>> you lift the burden from your loved ones having to make unknown "it's what
he would have wanted" guesses.

To each his own, but consider that maybe that's not the right question. My
paternal grandmother recently died, and my dad sat shiva for her (Jewish
mourning ritual). It almost certainly would not have been what she wanted, she
was a fierce atheist. But it was what my dad wanted, what comforted him, and
he was the one around and mourning, not my grandmother.

Just something to consider.

------
codeulike
Great idea! One thing though - this is presumably USA specific but nowhere
does it actually spell that out, which could be confusing/timewasting for any
brits or aussies who want to get their shit together. E.g a UK will has
completely different wording to a USA will.

~~~
tempodox
_this is presumably USA specific but nowhere does it actually spell that out_

We humans have a hard time remembering that anything we communicate has _a
lot_ of implicit context. On the Internet, this becomes especially conspicuous
because our communications quickly escape the realm where that implicit
context is known & valid. Up to now, the way to deal with that seems to be
EULAs written in Legalese.

------
thomasjudge
Living wills and advance directives are a good starting point but they may not
be enough. If one is potentially near end-of-life and is serious about DNR-
type wishes, it behooves one to get something like a DNR bracelet and/or a
POLST document posted on your fridge, so there are no misunderstandings with
first responders. There have been a couple NYT articles about this recently.
As others have echoed, get the information specific to your state.

[http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/04/29/the-right-
pa...](http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/04/29/the-right-paperwork-
for-your-end-of-life-wishes/)

[http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/17/health/the-trouble-with-
ad...](http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/17/health/the-trouble-with-advance-
directives.html)

~~~
taurath
I'm not sure whether I'd consider it morbid and sad or helpful to constantly
wear a bracelet reminding myself that I'm going to die and might at any point
in time become hopelessly disabled.

~~~
Disruptive_Dave
The buddhist in me (he's in there somewhere) tells me it could be quite
liberating.

------
golemotron
What they don't mention:

* Document -all- of your bank accounts, assets and debts.

* Don't die without a will. If you do and you appoint an executor, you are giving them a very dirty job.

* Think twice about offshore accounts. They are a nightmare for executors.

~~~
mct
_Don 't die without a will. If you do and you appoint an executor, you are
giving them a very dirty job_

This is one of the reasons I've been putting off completing a will :-( Is
there a good option for going about this without naming an executor?

~~~
zo1
Certain countries require you by law to appoint an executor to your estate. If
you don't, the state steps in and does it for you. Hardly the sort of thing
you'd want, especially if you want it done properly.

You can appoint lawyers to be executors to your estate, mind you. They take a
fee from the total bucket, and make sure everything is done according to your
will.

Also, as far as I'm aware, appointing them the executor of your estate doesn't
mean you _give_ them the money. You entrust them with resolving all the issues
with your estate, it's a bit different.

------
breischl
I've lately been pondering how to handle the passwords piece of this. I use
1Password, which is convenient because I have a handy-dandy database of
passwords, but makes it unrealistic that I'll write them all down on paper. So
the problem becomes passing along that database and the master password for
it. I also want to avoid giving that to anybody before I'm dead, for obvious
reasons.

My best plan so far is to put the database on a hidden (but public) shared
location, and use IfIDie.org to send the link to my inheritors. I would then
physically meet with them and give them the password (but not the link). It's
kind of awkward, and I don't love it, but seems like it could work even for my
relatives of modest technical literacy.

I'd be really curious if anyone has a better approach for securely passing
important data after you're dead.

~~~
jalons
A safety deposit box with the password to the master database?

Sometimes low tech works.

~~~
breischl
I thought of that, but I don't like it for a few reasons:

1) It's cumbersome to update. I don't want to run to the bank, get the
thumbdrive, update it, and take it back every time I change a password.

2) Everyone has to know that I have the box, know where it is, and know where
to get the key.

3) The key could get lost or destroyed. For example, if someone slings an
especially effective curse at me and I literally die in a (house) fire. You
can keep the safe deposit key in a safe... but now you have to store the key
for that safe, or the combination.

4) Even if they have the key, the bank still might not let my next-of-kin into
the box. The bank keeps a list of who is allowed in and their signatures.
You'll have to physically take every person who needs access down to the bank
and add them. It's one more chore, particularly because my family lives in
other states and rarely comes here to visit (we all go back to the parents'
house instead). In theory a death certificate and some other documentation can
overcome that, but it's going to be time consuming and annoying, during a time
when they don't need one more damn thing. I'm also not sure how access is
handled in case of incapacity but not death (ie, coma, sick in a foreign
country, kidnapped, whatever).

~~~
thesteamboat
You only need to keep the master password at bank; you can freely
update/distribute the encrypted file.

Some sort of secret sharing scheme [1] seems like it would work well here. You
can distribute parts of a key so that any 3 of 5 people (or whatever) can work
together to recover the key. Unfortunately I don't know of any practical way
to do this without kludging together your own system.

1:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_sharing](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_sharing)

------
jawns
I'm the sole income earner for our household (my wife is at home with our wee
ones). I've found that it's a lot easier to plan for my own disability/death
than for hers.

For instance, I get relatively straightforward short-term and long-term
disability insurance through my company. Should I become disabled, I get a
percentage of my salary. But because my wife does not work, we've struggled to
find a straightforward way to get (reasonably priced) disability insurance for
her.

I'm assuming that many of you who are either self-employed or are in a
household in which one person is not currently working have faced similar
challenges. Anybody have any recommendations about how to overcome them?

~~~
iamthepieman
Get the minimum insurance you will need to take care of your kids and pay any
debts that would be hard or impossible to pay if your wife were to become
disabled.

Anytime you buy insurance you have to be ready to do some math. If you make
enough to cover a caregiver (often covered or partially covered under health
insurance) for your wife and have a strategy for taking care of your kids then
you may not even need it.

I'm fortunate enough to live close to both my parents and my wife's parents.
Because of this and because we have decent savings we decided against
disability and life insurance for her. We are in the process of getting better
life insurance for myself but are keeping it as low as possible to cover our
debts and living expenses until the children are old enough to go to work in
the coal mines.

------
nsimpson
One of the better pieces of financial advice I ever got from a mentor was: if
you have a business or are self employed, get disability insurance.

I ended up enrolling in California's Disability Insurance Elective Coverage
(DIEC) - [http://www.edd.ca.gov/disability/self-
employed.htm](http://www.edd.ca.gov/disability/self-employed.htm). I wonder if
anyone else has gone this route?

------
bigredtech
There is a great startup based in New York doing this sort of thing called:
Everplans. [https://www.everplans.com/](https://www.everplans.com/)

They make it easy for you to get organized, find resources for handling the
tougher scenarios of life and death.

*Not affiliated, just have met their team - all around good people.

------
knicholes
This makes me want a service that allows me to send letters to people upon my
death/capture (or text messages or whatever) so if I don't unmark a flag after
x days/months/years it sends out that information. Sort of like, "If you're
watching this, I must be dead," or, "PS I Love You," kind of thing.

~~~
SomewhatLikely
Google has an inactive account manager that basically does this:
[https://www.google.com/settings/u/0/account/inactive](https://www.google.com/settings/u/0/account/inactive)

------
someear
some other general advice from my experiences - make sure you handle the case
where you go missing. I know I'm drilling down into a bunch of conditional
situations (missing for how long? under what circumstances?), but the last
thing you want is to do is leave loved ones in situation where they can't get
anything done.

I had a friend who committed suicide, but his body was never found and since
there was no note, he was never officially declared dead. Even though that was
years ago, his family still doesn't have access to his assets.

------
matrix
If anyone needs convincing to use this site, read the About Us page. It's a
big credit to Chanel Reynolds that she was able to drawn on a tragic
experience to help others.

------
pjungwir
I'm using this book by Nolo and it's great! Covers the basics plus a lot more
and comes with a computer program to generate the documents for you:

[http://www.amazon.com/Quicken-WillMaker-
Plus-2015-Software/d...](http://www.amazon.com/Quicken-WillMaker-
Plus-2015-Software/dp/1413320732)

Nolo is a well-known established company, like LegalZoom for books, and I've
also used their stuff for business setup and contracts.

------
hind3nburg
If this sort of thing is interesting to you and you are a Christian and and a
fan of Dave Ramsey like myself then you should check out his Legacy Journey
class: [https://www.daveramsey.com/legacy](https://www.daveramsey.com/legacy)

We had already gotten our will done before we took it but I still found it to
be packed with good information and it motivated us to get more organized.

------
lh7777
> Making a will is critical for everyone. Not having a will is frankly not an
> option, you know this.

I keep hearing this, but I don't believe it. No kids, no assets of any
significance, and my state's intestacy laws are fine by me for what there is.
Of course, I'll revisit when my situation changes but I just can't see why
making and maintaining a will needs to be a high priority for me.

~~~
__z
My grandma didn't need a will.

My mom was on her checking account (because my mom took care of a lot of her
finances) so my mom automatically got all of her money in the world - $900.
The only other thing she owned was her house. Her will said it was to be sold
and the money split between her children. Exactly zero of her children were
interested in the house, selling the house, living in the house, or anything
to do with the house. So the house was abandoned along with all the stuff in
her house. My grandma knew that would happen (the house was literally falling
apart - if code enforcement saw it then it would be condemned) but she made a
will because she was "supposed" to.

------
suelin
Equally important to having legal documents is having conversations with your
loved ones about your end-of-life preferences--there is a lot of nuance here
and the legalese will not always speak for you the way you'd want it to (and
won't necessarily cover things like how you want to be remembered, which photo
of yourself is your favorite, what you would want to happen to your
FB/twitter/Instagram/HN account, etc.).

I've been working for years in end-of-life planning and as others have said, a
lot of these legal documents are state-by-state so be sure to talk to an
attorney and your healthcare providers to make sure you're covered.

Apologies for self promotion, but we are building a modern end-of-life
planning platform at [https://myexitstrategy.co/](https://myexitstrategy.co/)
and our first offering will be an easy way to designate health care proxies --
everyone over age 18 should have one!

------
gavanwoolery
My recommendation to anyone who does not want to leave their loved ones empty-
handed is to get life insurance. Depends where you shop, but for about
$10/month you can get $100k in life insurance - not a huge amount but probably
enough to cover any debts you might have, cover the cost of your funeral, and
more. For about $30/month (if you are ~30 years old and relatively healthy),
you can get $500k in life insurance. The other good thing about setting this
up is that your insurance agency will usually help you get your other items in
order like your will, your trust, who will be your guardian(s) if you have
children, etc. It might seem premature to get life insurance young, but I have
had friends in their 20s and 30s who have died or had near-death experiences.

------
beat
A little over a week ago, I had a Branch Vein Retinal Occlusion - basically, a
stroke in my retina. I cannot read with my right eye now, and that may or may
not heal. This makes me think, a lot.

First, it could have been an inch back in my head, and I might not be here to
talk about it at all. Or I could be hospitalized for an extended time, or a
vegetable, or permanently unable to work.

Second, there's about a one in six chance it will happen again. If that
happens, I could lose my other eye, and my ability to read - thus ending my
career. I'd also lose driving and any number of other things I enjoy.

Is my shit together? No. I just assume my assets go to my wife, and she can
share out what she feels should be shared out with our now-adult children,
friends, and my (distant) family.

~~~
benmanns
What happens to your wife if instead of killing you, the stroke leaves you
disabled, unable to work, and needing full-time care?

~~~
beat
I have long-term disability, and Social Security would kick in. Other than
that...

------
kendallpark
How does disability insurance work for students?

I am going to be entering medical school. You typically get disability after
you graduate, but if something happened in those four years, I could be a
hundred thousand in debt with no viable career option as an MD.

~~~
__z
You would have to purchase private disability insurance or private life
insurance. Almost every major insurance company offers it.

------
dkhenry
I can not agree with this advice. There are still a few area's where its worth
it to have a trained professional, and their fee's are well worth it. I have a
wife and three kids, I will not trust their future to some random page on the
internet. I went to a reputable estate lawyer and I didn't just get some
documents I started a relationship. That is what I am counting on. Every year
I now have a professional that I go to not only review and update my
documents, but to get advice for how laws change and what their inpact is to
me.

Be responsible, don't cut corners.

------
mct
Regarding a living will, one I've seen that I really like is Five Wishes
([https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-
wishes.php](https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php)). I have one
filled out that I've been procrastinating giving to friends and doctors, which
is a mandatory step for having it be an effective document. Thank you to GYST
for reminding me I need to take care of this.

------
switch007
It is a lot of work being an executor. Even more stressful if someone
challenges the will. I was recently involved (as a beneficiary) in an estate
where someone challenged the will, and I'm glad the solicitor was the executor
and not me!

I know someone who is a beneficiary and an executor of an estate currently
nearly £10,000 in debt countering a challenge of a will (as the beneficiary,
not the executor, however).

------
shockzzz
I'm basically lost in life without a constant reminder of my impending doom.

~~~
hoprocker
Vita brevis, amigo.

------
stevewilhelm
Another bit of advice, if you have prepared these basic documents, it is a
good idea to review them periodically.

It is particularly important to review and revise these documents after life
changing events: getting married, having children, or when parents or executor
becomes elderly, incapacitated, or dies.

~~~
Symbiote
And the step my parents forgot: when your eldest child turns 18, add them as
an executor.

------
trimble-alum
Prepaid funerals are _way cheaper_ __and ___far less burdensome_ on family and
friends.

------
jh37
I actually JUST completed my will on doyourownwill for free. Pdf and word doc.
[http://www.doyourownwill.com](http://www.doyourownwill.com)

------
a2tech
This site is great! My wife and I were just discussing how we needed to get a
living will/will written down so our wishes are clearly understood in the case
of an emergency.

------
signaler
Always loved this Twitter account. I use it now and then to remind my
followers that my shit is not together
[https://twitter.com/ismyshittogethr](https://twitter.com/ismyshittogethr)

Also there is no silver bullet for the maze that is life other than all the
usual methods that the old masters laid out, like meditation, compassion,
empathy, and logos/love/balance

------
lfender6445
Can you imagine being in a vegetative state and not having legal means to end
your life or have someone pull the plug?

I need to get my shit together.

------
teddypop
I think there are several out there, the best one I've found for simple will
and living wills (and free, no monthly charge bs) is
[http://www.doyourownwill.com](http://www.doyourownwill.com) It also has good
general advice and a legal forms section..and was fast. pdf and doc. made it
easy for us.

------
ujjwal_wadhawan
With so many passwords, my will shall be a book. I use Lastpass and will
prefer to give the master password :)

The thing that bothers me are the auto renew settings on my subscriptions. One
(any probably only) way to stop them is to cancel the cards they are on. For
e.g: Dropbox/ Amazon s3 will charge me for my hosted data for eternity.

------
thehoff
I ran across this site the other day as well as my wife and I were discussing
that with a kid now we should get wills.

------
akshatpradhan
This needs to be turned into a WebApp. A place where you can edit, update,
retrieve, and share these vital records.

------
tempodox
I love this idea. It's highly practical, of good use and deals with life as it
is.

------
jscheel
Heading to Egypt with my wife for two weeks while our 2 year old daughter
stays at home. Definitely something we've been trying to get together, and I
really appreciate someone doing the leg work.

------
bhartzer
Definitely good advice. Need to get my will done, this has inspired me.

------
ascotan
Great site. This has given me the inspiration to finally get this done.

------
renox
A will? My father died recently and he did not make a will and it would have
been quite useless, but we're a very simple family: no divorce, and none of us
are poor.. So YMMV.

------
galfarragem
I like the content (idea) but I wonder if it was just me that didn't like the
chosen words, there isn't any mention to the grieving process, making
everything sound too cold and materialistic:

 _In 2009 my husband was killed in an accident. In the following hours, weeks,
and months I was shocked by the number of things we had left disorganized or
ignored._

~~~
lkrubner
This is a subject where it is often difficult to break through to people.
Everyone fears death, and most of us live with a kind of denial about the fact
that we will die.

There are different tactics that can be used to try to get past the denial.
Stating things bluntly is a worthwhile tactic. Merely mentioning facts is
another possible tactic, but you run into the problem that people would prefer
to screen out any information about such a painful topic.

This a subject where shock tactics can be justified, if they manage to get
people to think about the fact that, yes, they will die someday.

------
supercanuck
Maybe not the place, but where do people buy their cheap term life insurance?

~~~
martin1975
AAA...west coast life.. your work place... etc. Cheap is also very relative -
depending on the face amount, you may have to submit to a health
examination...

------
theRhino
this is very good - sensible stuff, details will vary but this is a very
useful start - everybody should do something along these lines, obviously
tailored towards there own personal circumstances

------
wehadfun
Thanks for the reminder.

------
stevejunior
wat the fuk

------
denzquix
Memento mori, motherfucker.

------
woodrowlevin

       This a good site, and can help to guide you.  Probably even give you templates to store your info in, but what about sharing?
      Check out my company www.estateassist.com (Estate Assist) which is much more focused on being a Digital Safe Deposit box to protect and share financial and digital assets with trusted recipients.

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aaron695
There is nothing more stupid than doing a will or getting life insurance. The
other advice is worth thinking about.

There is no imaginary place in the sky where you can look down after your
death and see people happy because you left them money or less stress.

Live life for the present and future. Not for the nothing.

Sure, game theory might throw a spanner in the works for the now and future-

\- Your partner having a will / life insurance might be important, so you have
to get one for quid quo pro.

\- You might be stuck being stupid and it'll help you relax. Humans are weird.

\- Stupid people might judge you or smart people might sham you (Since wills
probably benefit society)

But this crutch we can get, that in death my kids and wife will be happy, a
false safety valve, can be more destructive to your life than the reasons
above.

~~~
vivekian2
Really?

Making sure that the financial needs of your loved ones are met if you do
depart in a sudden manner, is the most selfless thing you can do. It has
nothing to do about making you feel happy, it has everything to do with being
pragmatic so that they have one less thing to worry about.

~~~
aaron695
Not dying and living life is both selfish and (one hopes) better for your
loved ones.

But that's hard. It means you have to be healthy. Reduce stress. Spend quality
time with people.

Filling out a will is an easy escape.

Doing the best for yourself and loved ones is hard. The second half of the
article touches on this.

