
Programming as a cure for A.D.D.? - kine
http://zackshapiro.com/post/33620582383/programming-as-a-cure-for-a-d-d
======
chimeracoder
> I never noticed or accepted that I had mild A.D.D. until a few months ago
> and around that time, I started thinking about methods to work with it.

Not to be rude, but it's unclear whether the author has had an actual
professional diagnosis. ADHD is one of the most commonly self-diagnosed
conditions, and also one of the most commonly _mis_ diagnosed conditions.

It doesn't help that ADHD is much more difficult to diagnose in individuals
(particularly adults) who perform well in other metrics (IQ, etc.), as they
oftentimes have simply developed compensatory mechanisms - these same
mechanisms which have enabled them to have success also make a diagnosis much
more difficult, even for professionals.

> It’s nice. I can let the A.D.D. run wild when I’m thinking about a problem
> or how to solve it but when I sit down to solve the problem, I force myself
> into that zone and try my hardest not to let anything in while I check mini-
> task after mini-task off on my list.

'Hyperfocus' is common in individuals with ADHD, but this doesn't sound quite
right - hyperfocus isn't something that can be turned on and off easily. With
ADHD, focusing on programming is a challenge as much as anything else is.

~~~
kalms
You don't have to be hyperactive, even though your mind might be - in that
case I suppose it's just ADD, right?

I got the same feeling as you from reading the article, but as someone who has
extreme trouble concentrating, I can definitely relate. I never had it
diagnosed, but always suspected that I might have a similar problem, but my
life worked out, so I didn't have to bring any attention to it.

When programming your brain is all over the place, slowly piecing together
smaller parts of a greater whole. In my case it seems to work, but then again
- I was never diagnosed with anything.

~~~
chimeracoder
> You don't have to be hyperactive, even though your mind might be - in that
> case I suppose it's just ADD, right?

Not really. That's a common misunderstanding, but it's taking the name a
little too literally. ADHD is actually the diagnosis (314), but one of the
forms can be 'ADHD without hyperactivity'. However, 'hyperactivity' doesn't
actually imply what most people thing it does, just from hearing the name,
which is why the entire term is a bit of a misnomer.

> as someone who has extreme trouble concentrating, I can definitely relate.

ADHD is very, very different from simply 'having difficulty concentrating'.
You can potentially have moderate or even severe ADHD without noticing any
difficulties concentrating.

> In my case it seems to work, but then again - I was never diagnosed with
> anything.

I'd be really careful about generalizing your case to people with ADHD, then.
To use a blunt comparison, it'd be as if someone claimed that watching funny
movies made them feel happier and therefore it is a 'cure' for depression (a
psychological condition much more complicated than mere 'unhappiness').

~~~
kalms
I wasn't trying to generalize, and I hope I didn't come off like that. For the
record: I don't care if I suffer from it, but I have symptoms that makes it
likely (words of a doctor, not mine), and I thought it appropriate to share my
experiences - with a small disclaimer.

I've had problems in school; couldn't hang on to a job, and so on. Until I was
sort of "forced" into learning how to program. It in turn forced me to focus,
and it made all the difference.

Added note: Programming didn't make it easier to focus. But it seems to fit
me, and my short attention span, plus it's just too darn interesting.

------
bradmccarty
There's a lot of investigation that has been done around ADHD and the ability
to "hyperfocus". Dr Russell Barkley has an interesting insight on this
phenomenon.

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfkg0VWx3rM>

I'm not certain that I agree with him in full. I was diagnosed with ADHD when
I was in my early 20s. The ability to deeply focus on a project was helpful to
me as well. I certainly don't think that we can call it a "cure" for ADD, but
it can absolutely be a positive byproduct.

~~~
mortdeus
Hyperfocus is just a form of self medication. People with ADHD find things
they are stimulated by, grow a dependence on it and through practice naturally
become great at those things. This is a misconception to consider "many hours
of practice" as "adhd gifts".

I dont think it is a gift at all, rather the only option we end up having to
escape.

~~~
lloeki
(Mild ADHD here) Hyperfocus sounds great, yet it comes at a steep price:
extreme exhaustion. Sometimes I just can't work for days (weeks happen)
straight. Then at times hyperfocus kicks in and I complete three days work in
one swoop, but after that I feel energetically empty. You're right on the
dependence because HF gives a high, and I admit although the attention deficit
part is a terrible pain, the high is so great that a part of me doesn't want
to medicate, because it would go away.

~~~
mortdeus
Hyper-focus is not great, nor is it some form of "super power" that adhd
people have. Its any time that somebody with adhd is able to focus on
something. People without attention disorders can focus willingly, people with
adhd cant.

The difference is that the adhd brain is deprived of euphoric dopamine until
you have that "hyper focus" activity that the adhd mind begins to depend on.

People with adhd are highly prone to becoming mentally dependent on activities
like video games because of this euphoria. However, I find that being
medicated appropriately and focusing on what I want to focus on is more
rewarding than the activities I depended on pre-diagnosis and treatment.

------
Eleopteryx
I do my best work when I take stimulant medication. I simply do not get as
much done without it, and even then I find it can be ineffective. With
programming I often lose track of what I'm doing and end up off task without
even realizing it. I can have a low tolerance for working on things that do
not interest me, finding it almost physically impossible to apply myself.
Somehow amphetamine salts make me feel more engaged with things I might
otherwise find dull.

I should note that I was tested for ADHD and the results indicated that I
actually didn't have it, even though the symptoms of inattentive ADHD seem to
describe me perfectly.

~~~
zevyoura
> I can have a low tolerance for working on things that do not interest me,
> finding it almost physically impossible to apply myself.

It sounds to me like you're describing the human condition more than ADHD.
Amphetamines have been shown to increase performance on a wide variety of
tasks for most people, the fact that they help you should definitely not be
taken as a sign that you have ADHD.

~~~
Eleopteryx
Nevertheless, being unable to maintain focus on activities that are not
enjoyable/easy is a diagnostic criteria for inattentive ADHD.

Whatever the case, categorizing these symptoms into a disorder is rather
inconsequential to the fact that taking Adderall has generally improved my
quality of life. I honestly don't know if I'd be able to keep my job without
it.

------
mwill
Sorry for the long post, just wanted to put my perspective down for once.

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was about 7-8, by advice of a teacher. If I
had to put a severity to it, I'd guess severe. When I was in young, it was a
physical feeling of pain in my stomach when I fought against the urge to stand
up and walk around. Before I was diagnosed, I literally couldn't write my own
name without help, because I wouldn't sit and do it. After being put on
medication, I basically got straight A's and B's through to high school.

Half way through high school, I started to hate the medication, I was
depressed and tried to take myself off them secretly. Within the first week,
most of my teachers started raising eyebrows and the school called home to see
what was going on. After a few trips to the paediatrician, psychologist, and
agreeing to weekly therapy at the school, I was taken off the medication.

It got pretty grizzly. One of my teachers would routinely send me out of the
classroom for entire periods because he figured I wasn't going to learn
anyway, and I was disrupting everyone else. I started to struggle in classes I
loved, which got incredibly frustrating, I remember clearly knowing the answer
to a problem in math class, but struggling to actually write it down, or being
in music class (I was the school bands drummer), and struggling to to finish a
single song because I couldn't help standing up and stepping away from the
drum kit half way through.

It was devastating to me to find I couldn't do these things I knew I was good
at without the help of the medication I fought to get off. I'd get off of
school and just walk around town. Somehow, one day, I ended up walking into
the local TAFE/Curtin (This is in a town in Australia), and for some reason
started looking at their class lists. One of the admin's started talking to
me, and convinced me to go talk to one of the teachers, who convinced me to
give it a try.

Being a small town, the classes were basically empty, so I was almost one on
one with the teacher, who let me work through at my own pace. I ended up
powering through all the work for the Certificate III and Certificate IV
pretty quickly, and he asked me to enrol in the Diploma (For those that don't
know, here in aus a Cert/Diploma is under an undergraduate degree), introduced
me to the teacher, and she gave me the entire course load in advance, which I
also powered through.

They called me in and sat me down and told me I should apply for an
undergraduate degree program in the city, and wrote letters of recommendation
for me. I did, not really expecting anything to come of it (Remember I was
about 14-15 at the time, and still attending high school, and basically
failing), and after a few weeks of frantic phone calls, and incredible support
from my amazing parents, I got accepted.

I ended up graduating just after my 18th birthday, with an award for grades.

I think about it pretty regularly, what my life would have been like if I
hadn't discovered programming via TAFE. I'm 100% certain I could not have
finished high school without medication, with high enough marks to get into
Uni. And even if I could have, I probably would have assumed that my body
would fight me every step of the way just like high school, and opted not to
go. I wish I could tell all the people who are in the position I was in at
that age, terrified of the future, feeling trapped in a body that won't let
them be normal, that, hey, maybe there ARE things you can do. I've described
programming as a 'blind spot' for my ADHD. And if I have a blind spot, maybe
others do to. I'd like to hope that everyone has something they can do that
helps them feel better.

I still struggle with ADHD, I still have trouble sitting through a movie, I
get frustrated at myself at the drop of a hat, hell, to be honest, theres a
part of me that's proud I managed to type this story out in only one sitting.
But I can program, and I honestly feel like that saved my life.

~~~
mortdeus
Your dosage was probably too high if it made you feel abnormally different.

Though I agree people with adhd each have their self medications. Mine was
actually music growing up. My best friend likes cars.

Can you read text books and stuff? I have a hard time studying code, thinking
about problems without my meds.

Are you inattentive too? Or just hyperactive?

~~~
mwill
A bit of detail on why I hated the meds: I had pretty negative side effects
from the get go, and eventually problems with tolerance, which eventually led
to her prescribing an increased dose every checkup (6 months like clockwork).

Over the treatment, side effects I suffered were massive loss of apetite (And
everything that goes with not being able to finish a meal, general feeling of
faintness, malnutrition), stomach pains, headaches, constant anxiety (Maybe
better described as a fear you can't shake?), tired all the time, eventually a
sort of zombie feeling, where I'd only leave the house to go to school, didn't
like talking to people, etc.

I really felt like a different person. When I took myself off the meds, I made
different friends, and my old friends stopped hanging out with me. When they
forced me back on, my old friends came back and my new ones left. When they
permanently took me off the meds, my old friends left and my new ones came
back, and most of them are still close today. None of this was conscious, and
none of the people involved were actually told I'd gone off or on medication
until well after the fact, it just sort of happened, and discovering that some
people who'd been my friends for years didn't like me if I wasn't medicated
(Thats how I saw it at the time) really frightened me.

I'd refuse to take the meds over school holidays (Which was OK'd by my doc),
and I'd feel significantly better, so I quickly grew to resent them as a
child. The paediatrician tried lowering doses very early on once I started
showing side effects, and almost immediately my teacher sent home a letter
asking what was going on, after spending a while exhausting other options, the
paediatrician basically said it was unavoidable, we'd just have to cope one
way or the other.

I guess I'm saying I understand they're a miracle for some people, but from
age 7(ish) onwards, no type or dosage helped without harm, so I hated them. In
the last few years, I have strongly considered (And still am) giving it
another try, since rationally I know it likely won't be as bad as it was
growing up, but I still have a pretty strong phobia of medication in general.

About text books, I'm actually pretty good with theory text books, things that
present new ideas and concepts I can absorb, but 'How To' books I have trouble
with, and mostly I can only read the code and learn by example.

Also: I suffer from both. Official last diagnosis is ADHD-C.

~~~
markbernard
Have you ever tried to add an Omega-3 fish oil supplement? I find it really
clears my head and I can organize my thoughts better.

~~~
mortdeus
You are aware that "natural cures" is the reason Steve Jobs died. While your
fish oil might help, it is not a solution to be taken seriously on the scope
of adhd as severe as his. Just like natural herbs wasnt the solution to
treating a disease as severe as Steve Job's pancreatic cancer.

------
jrvarela56
Programming seems like the kind of thing that would increase your focus over
prolonged time spans. I'm surprised meditation isnt mentioned more often when
talking about ADD. I feel this is the most obvious thing to try if you feel
your capacity to focus isn't as great as you would like it to be.

Try it out, just sit in a quiet room for five minutes and try to focus on your
breath. It'l probably last a good 3 seconds, but keep trying it works like a
muscle.

~~~
kine
Great suggestion. I've actually picked this up as well in the last few months.
I sit for 10-15 minutes at a time and find that it goes along really well with
programming.

------
petejodo
This is funny because this relates to me so much. I know exactly what you mean
when you say when thinking of a solution, you let your "ADD" (mind you I'm not
diagnosed so take what I say with a grain of salt, I would like to get it
checked though) go and have several attempts to solving the problem in your
head, I do the same exact thing.

A problem I have though is that I can be focused when actually programming but
then I can lose it just for a second and then the last 15 lines of code is
just chinese to me even though I wrote it myself.

Another problem is simple math within a more complicated problem. For example,
I'm still at university and when taking an exam for say, linear algebra and
have to multiply matices, I could be stuck on like 22+17 and for some reason I
can't get 9 out of 2+7, it's a weird feeling because I know it's correct but I
guess something in my mind doesn't feel confident about it.

Also I fall asleep when I force myself to focus. Interesting courses that I'm
excited to actually learn, I end up passing out in lecture regardless of the
amount of sleep I had.

Then reading is annoying also I can read lines over and over again, I see the
words, they go in my brain but nothing logical comes out.

I still love programming though =P

------
pserwylo
Thanks for the write up.

Can I ask, how much do you think the non-ability to focus on a task it is
about procrastination and how much is about your ADD?

For example, I am doing my PhD now, and find it very hard to focus on actual
research, instead losing time to procrastination (I'm looking at you, HN!).
After hours, I also tend to have several different projects running at once,
for which I struggle to prioritize and get any single one finished. However,
when I'm at my paid job as a developer, I focus just fine. Given the other
anecdotes here, I would expect a clinical diagnosis would show that I have
signs of ADHD, but I would attribute them to laziness on my part.

I don't want to comment on your case specifically, but my fiancé is doing her
PhD in psychophysiology, and more specifically, natural treatments for ADHD,
and there is certainly a perception that ADHD is somewhat over diagnosed. I am
interested if you would have attributed a different name (e.g.
procrastination) to some of the behaviours you discussed before hearing about
or being diagnosed with ADD/ADHD.

~~~
kine
I think the ADD aids my procrastination. I let it take my procrastination to a
whole new level.

I agree, it's absolutely over-diagnosed. That's why I made a point to keep
calling it mild in my post. It's not doctor prescribed, just a hunch that I
have.

I think we all have attention trouble, especially today where everything is
vying for our attention with a little ounce of dopamine. I notice when I don't
want to do something, that's when I really let the ADD/procrastination combo
kick in and run wild.

------
chaseperkins
As an individual who has struggled with severe ADD, i've followed scientific
and medical journal research in the field. New research, involving brain-scans
of intelligent ADD and non-ADD brains, shows a specific recall disorder.
Basically, when an ADD brain wants to concentrate on a single task
(reading/listening to a lecture for example), other regions of the brain are
called upon and interfere with focus. This is why many ADD/ADHD individuals
like myself, hide in the corner of a quite library, with ear-plugs, because
sounds/visual-stimulation/other thought process is amplified. With a non-ADD
brain, non-recalled regions, unrelated to the requested task, drastically
lower activity levels.

Check it out Journal of Psychiatric Research: A. Cubillo et al. / Journal of
Psychiatric Research 44 (2010) 629–639

"Reduced activation and inter-regional functional connectivity of fronto-
striatal networks in adults with childhood Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity
Disorder (ADHD) and persisting symptoms during tasks of motor inhibition and
cognitive switching."

------
hudell
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 17, after many years of living with it. I
decided I would not take drugs for it. I was afraid I would lose my creativity
and that kind of stuff. I started rescheduling my tasks so the most boring
ones would get the time of the day I would me most inspired. It helped for a
time, but I couldn't stay in the same place for too long. After some years
frequently changing jobs, friends and hobbys, I finally found my place. I've
been programming since my childhood. Sometimes, ADHD helps (giving ideas on
how to solve problems), some other times, it gets in the way, making me lazy
to solve some repetitive problems. After 4 or 5 different jobs, I found one
where it doesn't get repetitive. I work in projects that last around six
months. Each project uses a different language, with different teams and tools
and routines. It's been like heaven. After I started working here, my whole
life improved. I stopped growing tired of people and could finally keep the
same friends for a long time. I even started a serious relationship.

------
Zenst
I don't know about programming being a cure for A.D.D. or the like as it
depends upon the programming enviroment (scripting better than compiled I'd
say).

I learned early on with a ZX81 and I can say one thing I did learn a bit more
patience with the wobberly ram pack and loading/saving times.

Though I worked in a nice quite bedroom with no distractions and that is a big
factor.

I would say that doing martial arts - well kendo helped me alot on many
levels. Has nice culture and attitude compared to some of the other martial
arts or at least how they are taught. Also `Do` being the way or as apposed to
`Jitsu` suffix, which is the art of killing; Does highlight its more zen like
mindset. Also knowing what distracts you and how it distracts you and
controlling the distractions helps as well.

    
    
       But like anything and anybody - if it works for you then it works nomatter what other people say and stick with your comfort level.

------
capex
At a tangent, Zack previously talked about the Single Application Mode in osx
Lion. Its appears to not work in Mountain Lion.
[http://zackshapiro.com/post/26300586593/single-
application-m...](http://zackshapiro.com/post/26300586593/single-application-
mode-my-favorite-hidden-feature-of)

------
mortdeus
As somebody who has adhd, recently started getting medicated, became a
programmer and turned my life around 180 degrees. Ill take the time to answer
misconceptions about adhd.

ADHD is not primarily an attention disorder. Its primarily a motivational
disorder. There are 3 types of ADHD recognized in American Psychiatry with a
closely related disorder called SCT. ADHD-Hyperactive, ADHD-Inattentive, ADHD-
Combined, Slow Cognitve Tempo.

To understand what causes these disorders, im going to have to summerize basic
neurology fundamentals. The brain produces a chemical called dopamine that
just about runs the entire show upstairs. When you accomplish a task, and you
feel good about yourself; thats because dopamine will stimulate your brain
with reward signals. When you look at the dishes and say "Im going to do that
today." Its because you have dopamine to motivate you to get stuff done. Even
sex and orgasms is directly related to dopamine release and stimulation.

The thing about dopamine is that it is stored inside a dopamine "bank" where
dopamine is also generated by exercising, eating healthy foods, getting enough
sleep, ect. This healthy lifestyle allows for a healthy amount of dopamine to
accumulate in the brain.

The way dopamine leaves these banks to do work in the brain is by these cells
called neurotransmitters that are responsible for fitting into the molecule
sized "keyhole like doorways" to basically grab and push dopamine out.

After alot of dopamine is released out to act as messengers between neurons
via the synapses, some of it is collected up by norepinephrine transmitters to
be carried away and converted into adrenaline. (Adrenaline is where the
"hyperactive/impulsive" aspect of the disorder comes in btw.) And of course
any excess dopamine/norepinephrine that isnt carried away by other
transmitters to other parts of the body is recollected back into their banks
for future use.

In a normal healthy human, this all works wonderfully.

However in all the ADHD disorders and SCT disorder somewhere in this system is
one or more types of neurotransmitters acting... disorderly. Basically they
are not doing what they are supposed to be doing. Sometimes it is a problem
primarily in the dopamine neurotransmitter department with not enough being
brought out or too much being carried away which causes too much
norepinephrine to be produced. Sometime its too little dopamine, and not
enough norepinephrine (SCT). Sometimes its just the norepinpherine
transmitter. This is the reason why different ADHD medications work on
different ADHD patients. Adderall might cause too much dopamine out, where
ritalin just stops to much dopamine from being carried to away. Sometimes
straterra works which only affects the norepinephrine. Its a complicated
disorder to say the least.

Which is why people say ADHD is commonly misdiagnosed. This is very true.
Sometimes its depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder. Sometimes its just a kids
bad diet and sleep habits, therefore they cant produce enough dopamine the
natural way in the first place. (happy meal kids) ADHD doctors get a bad rep
because they are giving kids speeds when in reality the parent is the
disorder, not the childs brain. Its just highly complicated for a psychiatrist
to know. Parents say fix my kid, and this is all the info they get to work
with. Once a month, 15 minutes, "fix my kid", sign a pharmacy script that will
be a hundred bucks. Happens like that all the time.

However what people dont realize, is that the reality of adhd is very very
underdiagnosed also. More people live today, struggling everyday to make the
best out of their lives, than there have ever been people misdiagnosed with
ADHD period. People dont accept mental disorders exist, and that you need to
get help for them.

The other problem with ADHD that people dont understand is that it is highly
common to not only have ADHD but to have comorbid disorders like depression
and anxiety either caused by the adhd, or completely unrelated to it requiring
their own individual treatments.

Considering those disorders are linked to the same brain mechanics it is
highly likely somebody who gets diagnosed with ADHD, thought they didnt have
it when the perscriptions didnt fix all the problems despite the fact they do
have adhd. They are likely to jump from anti anxiety medicine, over to Prozac,
etc. The fact is this is a really hard to treat disorder because of the many
different variations. Its complicated enough to justify the there are no two
cases of ADHD that are the same. Its hard to diagnose something so broad and
ETHICALLY treat it. For this reason, sometimes people seek help, hate the
medications they get put on and try to fend for them selves again. I feel
sorry for these people because their psychiatrists failed to help them. :(

Here is my personal story regarding ADHD. (btw calling it "ADD" was thrown out
like 20 years ago. Let it go people.)

Im somebody who has/(d? who knows/cares) an IQ of ~145 growing up and dropped
out of school. I can read perfectly fine. I also have and understand a
sophisticated vocabulary. However I cant "read" without my medication.

I can not force myself to focus on what im supposed to think about. I can read
a paragraph over and over again and not remember what I just read to the point
that I just give up. I havent passed an english class since the 4th grade. I
was the kid who was just "a lazy son of a bitch, fucking off all of his
potential." growing up.

People didnt understand. I didnt understand, because no matter what I did, I
could not motivate myself to do what I really wanted to do. People with adhd
fail, because they dont have the ABILITY to succeed. "So try harder.", You
dont understand. Its literally like asking a double amputee to try harder at
running in a foot race. (okay... little tink tink is an exception. :P)
Sometimes ADHD feels like a cage you are confined in that you constly feel
unaware you are there in the first place. Sometimes the mind is like a
hurricane where you think 90 mph when everyone else is driving in the slow
lane. When we speak our mental thoughts have to be put on loop over and over
when we want to say something fluent and slow, only to forget in the middle of
the sentece what the entire conversation is about.

I always thought this was just normal for some people like me. I was never
diagnosed as a kid because my intelligence allowed my parents and teachers to
blame the school's material for my failures. "I was bored". Which is true, I
was, but that didnt mean I didnt want to succeed I dropped out of highschool
because I was tired of failing there. I thought perhaps the answer was out in
the world, however things didnt get better. I could hold a job either. I was
depressed for along time, not having an answer, until my brother said I acted
like my Dad. That I had adhd.

At the time, I didnt want to think I had a "disorder". So I never looked at
myself like that. Then I started reading about it adhd, watched dr russell
barkleys talks (i saw somebody mentioned him. :) ), scheduled an appointment
to see a psychiatrist and 2 years later i'm a software developer working on
compilers and web servers. I study operating systems, graphic pipelines, use
linux/unix (flex). I finally feel, successful after getting help for the first
time in a long time. In fact, out of most of the people I know right now. Im
heading towards a much higher pay job then them. Im already working free lance
and making twice what they make in college a month, every 2 weeks. Its alot of
hardwork to make up, but Im driven to succeed because 19 years of failing was
horrible.

Look, Im going to be straight forward. There is no "cure" to adhd. Some people
grow out of it because the human brain doesnt stop growing until sometime in
your 20s, however people with adult adhd are stuck with it forever. I will
grow into an old man with this disorder. My dad is an old man with ADHD.
People learn how to manage by self medication.

Hyper focusing is a form of self medication via stimulating meditation. We can
still think just like everyone else. Its just we do alot more thinking.
Different stimulating activities grab different people. Video games, music for
me, racing dirt bikes, sports.

Its just that these activities are not voluntary, nor are they experiences I
would compare to programming because alot of reading and focus to fine detail
is involved; which are traits most effected by ADHD.

For example when Im not on my medication, I cant work. However when im on my
medication I can read a text book in two weeks. Its a black and white
difference. I cant say that you are not the exception. (little think think?),
but medication would be the metal prosthetic legs in this adhd footrace
regardless.

I hope everyone understands us better if you actually read this. And pardon me
if its full of grammar errors. I tried my best to proof read. (which ends up
in me adding to it and making it worse. Lol) I wrote this without being on my
meds btw. Which is why I wrote an essay. :P

~~~
dsl
Thanks for posting this. Your story reminded me so much of myself, but I
always just figured "this is the way I am. I am broken." On my last checkup my
doctor suggested I might have depression and should come back after the
holidays (I was traveling the next day) for a follow up. I literally have not
been able to work up the motivation to go back. But I'm going to change that.

~~~
mortdeus
I dont know if I ever felt "broken", but rather different. As in an outcast. I
always embraced that kind of thing and was always secure about my identity.

But dont get me wrong, I suffered from depression as well. The trick to beat
depression is to push yourself past the depressive thoughts by counter arguing
with them. "You cant do that", so keep trying it until you do. "You arent
attractive", fuck that who cares. Im me. "There were so many people who did
this better", well fuck them too, Ill keep doing it until im better.

Of course this is after you get started on a treatment. Depression is too hard
to motivate yourself to argue back without some sort of help. :P

------
inDigiNeous
ADHD/ADD is an imagined disease, created by those who do not understand how a
person who can process more information than they, operates.

The teaching system and the work system does not understand the abilities and
natural ways of acting of these people, and this is why we feel so hard to
adapt to the old systems.

It is natural evolution of the human being, being suppressed by those who want
to keep us in control and medicate it away with feeling blocking chemicals.

But it is a great skill. The ability to see things differently, to process
more information at once, to build systems inside your head. Embrace this side
of you. It is a great power, and medication only suppresses it.

Learn to master it and you will become a master of yourself, and you will not
need medication. Meditation & Yoga are the one methods that work for me,
without any external help. It takes self-discipline, but it is definitely
worth it.

I have suffered with this way of thinking for my whole life, and I could not
understand why I could not fit in. I struggled through my teen years, finding
peace only in creating new things, usually in front of the computer.

I have always somehow understood that the medication traditional doctors give
is not right for us, but I had a long period where I used to medicate myself
with cannabis. This worked for a while, but after about 3 years of doing this,
I knew this was not the way. I had become addicted, was suffering when I
didn't have any and always was thinking about the future and when I would get
my medication.

At the same time thought I started doing kundalini yoga and learning the skill
of meditation more and more. The finding of kundalini yoga was a blessing, as
first time in my life I felt I had true power within me, without needing any
help from outside.

I struggled with letting go of cannabis for a long time, but finally I managed
to do it. Now I've been totally sober for 7 months and feeling better than
ever. I have replaced meditation with medication, and focusing on the inner
strength instead of outer strength.

This has allowed me to focus my ever wandering mind

I am a programmer by day and night, and meditation and yoga really helps me
concentrate and keep my mind clear even during stressful times at work.

Find your inner strength. Throw away your medication. Throw away the limiting
factor of identifying with ADD/ADHD. It is only an invention of those who do
not experience it themselves.

~~~
yogar
I will disagree with the "It is natural evolution of the human being..." part.
Not that it is not true, but it conveys the wrong message. Cancer is a natural
evolution too, but evolution of the human being is different than evolution of
the human kind. I myself have been diagnosed with Aspergers' and, while I
appreciate the diversity of my thought process, I can understand why people
with the same condition might feel inclined to clip the unconventional aspects
of their self. The human kind has evolved as a social organisation and
participation in the club is somehow strict. Medication or meditation, it
still is an attempt to join the club. And it is the fact that you accept the
club's peace interpretation that leads you to either. That said, I would
rather meditation to medication too. Still, that depends on the severity of
the case. As an Aspergers' with an Autistic son, if there was medication for
my son I would surely try it. Normality is a bliss. Sometimes being a tree in
the middle of the desert is not better than being a sand grain.

------
eranation
One sure thing, have A.D.D? turn noprocast on in HN + do an arduino hack to
kick you every time you check stackoverflow for new questions

~~~
boon
Thanks for reminding me about SO. BRB.

------
mwhahn
ADHD is too bad to read through all these posts here, but I used to take ADHD
medication (concerta) for around 6 years, once I started programming I stopped
and I've never looked back. Learning to program not only drastically increased
my earning potential, but has freed me of life constrained by medication. +1
for writing this article.

------
wtracy
Huh.

I'm actually getting tested for ADD on the recommendation of my therapist (the
preliminary answer seems to be that no, I do not have ADD). I most
emphatically cannot work while I have a TV running. In fact, I can't even seem
to program and listen to music at the same time.

~~~
kine
I would switch between TV and work, letting one distract me from the other.

I struggled with music for a while too. Ambient stuff like Tycho, The Mattson
2 and Blue Sky Black Death really helped at the outset.

~~~
alexqgb
Really like these music selects. Thanks for posting them.

------
dfc
I wish the author would have given some examples of how programming had
_cured_ his ADD, e.g. examples of reduced symptoms of ADD in various life
situations after programming.

~~~
kine
Good question, DFC.

I've taken up meditation as well and long-distance swimming. I've found it
easier to do both of those since I started coding. I find it much easier to
set a goal for myself and achieve it rather than think about it, start, stop,
start, stop.

Cure may be too strong of a word. As I mentioned in the post, I think my brain
as begun to rewire itself for period of intense focus rather than incredibly
short sprints.

------
atas
Is this a real condition or just Americans inventing up diseases?

~~~
snowman41
at·ten·tion deficit disorder (-tnshn) n. Abbr. ADD A syndrome, usually
diagnosed in childhood, characterized by a persistent pattern of
impulsiveness, a short attention span, and sometimes hyperactivity, and
interfering especially with academic, occupational, and social performance.

