
Is it rude to leave an interview early if you have already made your decision? - damian2000
http://workplace.stackexchange.com/q/3492/2624
======
aplusbi
I always find it interesting how we (as humans) are not expected to act the
same way as companies.

A company can end an interview early and it's not rude.

A company can terminate an employee without notice and it's not rude.

A company can change dress code and it's not rude.

That's not to say that people won't complain, just that these things are
perfectly _normal_.

~~~
adjwilli
It's because the company has the leverage. If they terminate an interview
early, they leave one person with a bad impression. If you terminate the
interview early, you leave however many people are participating in the
interview with a bad impression.

Relatedly, the 2003 documentary "The Corporation"
(<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Corporation_(film)>) makes the case that if
corporations are "people", they fit the psychopath personality type. Non-
psychopathic people have a sense of empathy, a personality trait that
corporations lack.

~~~
antidoh
If a company terminates an interview early it might leave a bad impression
with the employees who participated in the interview. And you have to work
with those people tomorrow.

~~~
richardjordan
Nah, happens all the time. They just say the candidate wasn't up to it.
Existing employees' vanity works as a defense against disbelieving the company
line here - they must be special to have been hired, after all, not booted
early like that donkey of a candidate.

~~~
antidoh
Maybe. I know if I was sitting in a room where the manager did this I'd be
embarrassed.

As another poster pointed out, an interviewee can usually profit from sticking
out the interview, maybe learn something (even if it's learning what people
don't know). At the least it's practice at suffering fools.

Same from the other side of the table. Most people don't know how to interview
candidates; you all know this, because you've all sat through clueless
interviews. But those people (you, if you've ever interviewed a candidate) are
usually competent and nice people, they just don't have that particular skill
or experience.

So follow through, do the whole interview, because you need the practice.
You've brought an expensive learning resource into the office, so learn from
him.

Finally, there's nothing wrong with being gracious and leaving the candidate
with a positive view of your company and of you. Maybe he'll treat the
experience like "dang, I've got some stuff to learn," rather than "those dudes
are poopy heads." In any case it's as good for you to be gracious as it is for
the candidate.

------
JohnHaugeland
I disengaged hard, once, in the middle of the code test. I still don't know
how I feel about it.

The situation was that the company, right before the code test, had told me a
bunch of really weird stuff that wasn't part of the discussion right up until
the last minute - it wasn't actually a job, but rather contract to hire; they
needed to be ready if the next round of financing didn't come in, but they
still expected me to move; I would legally be a consultant and therefore not
have proper insurance; et cetera.

They wanted me to do this in exchange for admittedly fairly decent money and
equity. However, the sudden, last-minute nature of the reveal really left a
bitter taste in my mouth.

Then we got into the code interview, and the programmers started asking
questions that made it pretty clear they only sort of barely understood what
they were asking. One of them tried to "catch me on an error," and when I
showed him the standard saying something else, he complained that I should
just accept his viewpoint.

And at that point, I said "well you know what? This is a problem."

And so I just put the brakes on, hard. I turned over a far better solution to
what they were asking than the question was structured to generate, said that
I was sorry that I had consumed their time, but I was uncomfortable with the
way that things had been done, especially that they had not been up front
about the structure of the job, and I thought the interview was probably
finished, and I appreciated the opportunity.

The guy who complained asked me to explain what I had handed over.

I disconnected, and decided I was happy I hadn't flown in.

There are a lot of people who, I suspect, will feel that this is me being
unacceptably rude. I could have gone out in a more gracious fashion, et
cetera. I've burnt bridges.

I look at it differently than that. I think those people need to know just how
strongly their choices changed how I looked at them. I had been _extremely_
bullish; I was super excited. They knew that. We'd been on the phone a lot,
and I'd given them some help over the phone (small startup, lead engineer of
dubious ability.)

And, they could hear the change in my voice when they pulled back the curtain
on what they were offering.

They need to know that dirty pool like that is going to cost them, hard.

I believe I informed them of that in a fairly clear way. Your mileage may
vary.

~~~
jseliger
I wrote about this here: <http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4449194> , but
again, imagine what they did in a date context: things are going well, you
like the girl, you reach down. . . and find that "she" is a pre-op transexual.
Now: there's nothing _wrong_ with that. But there _is_ something wrong with
not making this clear in advance.

Or, from an alternate gender perspective, you're a woman and you've been
dating a guy. The first night you stay over at his house, he gives you $1000
the next morning. You're probably going to be miffed because of the
expectation violation.

------
masterponomo
Depends on how the interviewer(s) have treated you. I walked out mid-interview
one time, after the 2nd time the manager was called away to fix a production
problem. I could see the room he went into, full of programmers just sitting
around waiting for the boss to fix it. I decided this was a sick department
and just walked out w/o saying "Bye" as I didn't want to interrupt the
debugging session. Another time, in a tag team interview situation, each
person kept showing me photos of the calf the team was raising for eventual
slaughter for a team cookout. I love meat, but their glee at the prospect of
killing this particular cute beast made me not want to work with them. I
allowed for the slight chance they were flesh-eating ghouls, and just
scampered away during a break.

~~~
eru
Which country was that calf raising done in?

------
mattbeck
I have done something very similar. Walked out of an interview (politely) due
to how it was being conducted.

Employers forget that interviews are two-way, and that a talented potential
employee is scoping you out to make a decision as well.

They are too often used to having all of the power in the negotiation, they
completely don't get it when the time comes to interview someone who isn't
desperate.

The ego blow is hard for them to take when you turn them down.

------
emp_
I find the "nobody could possibly dislike our culture" groupthink the actual
brilliant bit of information in this, it happens way more than it should.

------
dfxm12
The only thing to keep in mind is that somehow, somewhere, you might run into
these people later on in your career. For that reason, maybe seeing the
interview through is a good idea. Remember, people and cultures can change.

That said, I think it is perfectly acceptable to leave; however, do your best
to explain why & don't just duck out when no one is looking.

~~~
danielweber
I once interviewed at a company that I thought was pretty cool. During the
interview the guy who would be my manager started insulting me, in retrospect
to get me to just leave. At one point he asked me "are you just here wasting
our time?"

I watched with glee as their stock symbol got de-listed. I still have that
manager's name on a _do-not-hire-whatsoever_ list.

------
anamax
You occasionally do need a way to cut interviews short.

I was once chastised by a manager because I didn't boot a candidate after I
was done, aborting the schedule. (He came to me while I was writing a negative
review of said candidate.)

It turns out that the candidate offered to fight a later interviewer. I
thought that the candidate was a jerk but that was a bit surprising. (The
interviewer in question was a rather mild person.)

------
JoeAltmaier
Explain first: "I don't think this is going to be a fit. I wish you well in
your search." Repeat as necessary until you're out the door.

~~~
ctdonath
And that's as far as the explanation can go. Most people advocating a thorough
explanation fail to address what that would sound like, and while perhaps true
would be even less well received. It's the same reason prospective employers
don't provide "here's why we didn't hire you" explanations: seems desirable in
theory, but is really socially unacceptable in practice. A detailed list of
"here are the honest reasons I wish to not associate with you" doesn't go over
well.

~~~
jonny_eh
It's just like dumping a girlfriend. Just say it's not working out, you don't
have to point out all her flaws.

------
ender7
It all comes down to the way you disengage. You can do so cordially or
gruffly, and that tends to make all the difference. If you make it clear that
you like them, but see no reason to waste any more of their time, then you
will fare well in most situations. If they're still upset, then, well, that
probably explains why you didn't want to work there.

------
IanDrake
This is why I like being a consultant. Have work and money to pay for it? Then
we're on. I don't want a marriage.

God, now that I think of it, I'm a prostitute.

~~~
wccrawford
Only if you let them call the shots. If you're calling the shots, you're an
escort. ;)

------
Codhisattva
If you feel the need to leave an interview early it's best to do it in the
least rude manner possible. Unfortunately, someone is bound to see whatever
you do as rude to some degree, so be kind, and courteous, honest and polite.

Explain to the most senior participant possible (such as the hiring manager)
or barring that someone from HR why you are calling it off early. Don't get
huffy and spew on the staff as that's needless.

Culture mismatches may not be obvious to young inexperienced staff, but to
management it's an obvious red flag for team work. And it's management's job
to keep the team highly functional so they will thank you for your honesty.

------
mratzloff
I've never walked out of an interview, but I wish I had.

If it's not going to work, it's not going to work. I've gone into in-person
interviews with reservations, because sometimes my impressions are wrong and
it's good to keep an open mind. But if it's beyond all doubt that it won't
work, end it.

Even if you've received a personal recommendation from a current employee and
don't want to make him look bad, it doesn't matter. You're wasting everyone's
time by continuing.

I had this happen to me five years ago with a terrible interview process--
embarrassingly unprepared interviewers, clueless HR, arrogant VP of
engineering. They offered me the job and told me to go by HR, but I just
walked out because I was so angered by the entire experience.

There was no reason to let it get to that point, though.

------
nikunjk
Duplicate: <http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4448500>

~~~
jack-r-abbit
Technically, this one was first. So there is that. :)

------
jseliger
Reframe this question in terms of a date: Is it rude to leave a date early?
Most people would say no, provided that one uses some kind of plausible
excuse. Hence all the mysterious phone calls / texts an hour into a first or
second date.

I think the "time wasting" aspect is the important part: most people don't
want their time wasted and, ideally don't want to waste the time of others—or
to raise their expectations.

~~~
Evbn
No one posting on HN or SO can claim they don't have enough time to do a full
evakuation of an interviewex.

------
Zenst
People in general don't like there time wasted and if you had mad a descision
then yes you could say "Sorry but I'm going to agree we would not be a good
fit and lets finish up early as I have taken enough of your time". The smart
thing is to remember interviews work both ways and if you have concerns then
ask them directly in a way that its a show breaker and put the onus upon them.
There might be a situation were you dont like something and by telling them
then they may very well change it and as such your saving alot of time and
potentual mistake. They may very well say it wont happen or give a vauge
promise and from that you also know were you stand with clarity and are also
in a better position to say sorry for taking up your time and end there. Both
can end on a good note, the later is the smarter play though.

------
alan_cx
This has nothing to do with with leaving early, which is totally fine as long
as you do so politely and decently as what you are actually doing is saving
the interviewer from wasting time and effort.

No, this is to do with embarrassing and humiliating the interviewers in front
of the other candidates. The example guy stood up and walked up in front of
every other candidate and sent a clear message to them all. Having stuck his
neck out he slightly undermines himself by showing he was not aware of how he
got in to the room in the first place!!!!

Like I say, if done right you are doing the interviewers a favour by leaving
as soon as you are clear you don't want the job. How you do that is every
thing.

~~~
loup-vaillant
No matter what, leaving early has to be done in front of the other candidates.
They're bound to notice your absence anyway. Know a way to do this right?

------
bsphil
I would've said yes until I read that it was an all-day interview.

------
ChuckMcM
Interesting discussion on SA on this. I don't think it is rude but I do think
the OP could have executed it better. There is always someone who is 'co-
ordinating' the interview and they are ready to step in if it is going poorly.
That person would be the person to talk to about cutting it short.

That said, you should talk with folks about your discomfort as well (you are
interviewing them as well). So asking them if you could use your business
skills would be appropriate too.

------
stevewilhelm
If you have decided on another offer, it's not rude to be honest and explain
why you have chosen another position. Focus on how the other offer is a better
fit for you.

If you have decided you just don't like the company or the position, continue
with the interview just to hone your interview skills and to be professional.
But keep your answers succinct and don't fain enthusiasm.

A seasoned manager will get the message and will cut the interview short.

------
rondon1
This is a grey area. It IS rude to setup an interview then cancel at the last
minute. It is NOT rude to send a thank you note the next day and say that you
will be perusing other opportunities. Anywhere in-between these 2 conditions
is going to offend someone.

It may feel good to explain why you have no interest in working in a place
where egos are based on coding standards adherence, it is better to maintain
professionalism.

~~~
Evbn
I would be annoyed if you interviewed with me knowing there was no chance you
would take my job.

~~~
csense
Any competent manager would agree with you; a candidate who knows they're not
going to take the job, but comes in for an hours-long interview with several
people anyway, is wasting your resources.

But that's not quite what happened here. As I understand the situation, the
prospective employee thought he wanted the job when he went into the
interview; but, during the interview he learned things about the place he'd be
working in, and the people he'd be working with, that made him change his
mind.

This is one of the main reasons that interviews are part of the hiring
process: So the company and the individual can learn more about each other
before a firm commitment is made, and cancel the impending hiring at minimal
cost before it's final, if it becomes clear that that would be the better
course.

------
Mordor
Walked out of an interview once saying I had a meeting to attend and was
offered the job a few days later.

------
wyclif
Why is this story on the front page of HN twice, and nobody's removed the
dupe?

------
astrojams
Rejection is painful, but if done right it shouldn't be rude.

------
think-large
Re-post anyone??

