

Ask HN: How to get rid of speech anxiety? - chckn

I fear situation where I have to speak in front of larger groups of people (5+). The fear&#x2F;panic is so strong that I can not think straight in such situations.<p>It hinders my personal and professional development. Right now I can not give a toast or take a position as a lead developer.<p>It is said that speech anxiety is quite common so my hope is to get some tipps on how to get rid of it.<p>What is the best therapy? What can I do besides therapy? Are there books worth reading?
======
walterbell
If you or your employer can afford the 12-week (one 3-hr class per week) Dale
Carnegie course, it can likely solve your problem. There are courses in most
major cities globally. Proven over decades.

You could also see a speech therapist to assess specific areas that need
improvement.

The most valuable advice I received on reducing anxiety was to practice
speaking on a topic in which you are the expert. There is one guaranteed topic
in which you are the expert: your own life. Tell a 90-second story about a
life experience that is meaningful to you. Audiences care about stories, not
speaking. If you care about your material, they will care about what you say.

[http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-
progress/2012/04/19/publ...](http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-
progress/2012/04/19/public-speaking-trainer-confesses-dont-waste-your-money-
on-this/print/)

------
itzfx
The way I got over this kind of anxiety was to lead a study group in college.
The people in the study group were already friends so it wasn't as stressing,
but during the study group sessions, I made it my responsibility to lead the
group. At first it was... unnerving, but definitely not as bad as it was with
people I didn't know as well.

So maybe you should start with some friends that you're more comfortable with
(not professional acquaintances) but in a different context than just hanging
out?

------
aerialcombat
For me, I had trouble when I thought those on the otherside were there to
judge me and my performance as a speaker. But when I realised they are just
there to listen and that it's ok if I F up, things got easier. It might help
if you start with a smile and look through the eyes of each and every
individual and see that they are smiling back at you. And also it's just like
speaking in one-on-one situation.

~~~
chckn
I'm pretty sure it is fear of being judged. I try to convince myself that most
people are open and positive towards me. If you would ask me I'd tell you that
most people are even sympathetic towards me in case I panic, stutter, or
somehow f'up a presentation. But as soon as I'm in such a situation
rationality is gone.

~~~
walterbell
Find a couple of friends to be a sympathetic audience, then give your
90-second speech as a description of the emotions and reactions that are
running through your head. Describe them in real time, use the emotions as
fuel instead of reasoning with them.

From "Impro", [http://www.amazon.com/Impro-Improvisation-Theatre-Keith-
John...](http://www.amazon.com/Impro-Improvisation-Theatre-Keith-
Johnstone/dp/0878301178)

 _"... Once you learn to accept offers, then accidents can no longer interrupt
the action. When someone's chair collapsed, Stanislavsky berated him for not
continuing, for not apologising to the character whose house he was in. This
attitude makes for something really amazing in the theatre. The actor who will
accept anything that happens seems supernatural; it's the most marvellous
thing about improvisation: you are suddently in contact with people who are
unbounded, whose imagination seems to function without limit._"

~~~
chckn
That quote resonates with me. Besides fear of judgment another part of my
problem is acceptance I believe.

------
onion2k
For me, there weren't magic solutions. The only thing that worked was to
practise with small groups and work up to bigger groups.

~~~
chckn
I dread practice but I know it is key.

What kind of groups did you practice with?

~~~
onion2k
Technical meet ups, specifically Javascript. A technical crowd doesn't tend to
be nasty if you're as rubbish as I was.

------
LarryMade2
Look in your community for a Toastmasters organization - their goal is to help
with public speaking. They work on various activities to get you familiar with
speaking in front of people, speeches on the fly, etc.

------
debacle
You need to just do it. Start going to local industry groups and presenting.
Once you've done it half a dozen times, it will feel completely natural.

------
davyjones
There is self paced public speaking course on coursera.org.

~~~
chris_j
Is this the course you mean:
[https://www.coursera.org/learn/publicspeaking](https://www.coursera.org/learn/publicspeaking)

Can anyone who had taken the course content on what they thought of it?

