
CreepedIn – Calling out the creepiest assholes on LinkedIn - pmcpinto
http://creeped.in/
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MollyR
More public shaming of people. Does this behavior simply come from
misunderstanding of etiquette across sites ? Facebook etiquette is different
than Linked etiquette, and those are different than twitter etiquette ? How
does one truly figure out this network out ? I opt out because I'm afraid of
being shamed. ex. Twitter it's rude to dot reply to someone ? I was shamed for
that once before.

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DanBC
You're right that this type of public shaming is a bad idea.

Anonymous shaming gets the point across - this unwanted attention is
relentless and inappropriate, but without the risks of public shaming.

> How does one truly figure out this network out?

When you meet a woman in a business context talk to her about her business.
Don't talk to her about her eyes or smile or hairstyle. It's not rocket
science.

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MollyR
It's not rocket science but it's not instinct either. What/who defines the
appropriate behavior in a business context. I say this because I've read books
on appropriate business behavior in the context american vs chinese
businesses, and its different.

People have different interpretations of what appropriate behavior is in
different contexts. Example: in some southern cities in the us, its weird or
rude not to say hello to strangers on the street. In New york, its weird and
rude to say hello to strangers on the street.

How do people actually learn whats appropriate in business context ?

Personally I read books like Corporate Confidential, How to make friends and
influence people to learn it, but I found it far from easy.

edit: anecdote: I've had women business managers compliment my hair style, I
didn't feel it was inappropriate.

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copsarebastards
Yes, these guys are creeps.

But calling someone a creep doesn't make them any less of a creep, nor does it
prevent them from being a creep in the future. If anything, it is likely to
make them defensive and make it harder for someone else to fix the problem.

Nobody hands you a rulebook when you start dating about how to do it.
Particularly as a guy, if you do something inappropriate, you'll likely never
find out about it--you'll just get rejected and never know why. It's only by
luck that I've happened upon a set of behaviors that makes women feel safe
around me. From this side of the fence I frequently hear women talking about
how creepy someone is, but never telling that person. A lot of guys are
creeps, not because they intend to cause any harm, but because nobody ever
gave them any feedback about how they can do better.

Now, I realize it's not women's responsibility to educate men on how to pursue
dating appropriately. But at least don't make the problem worse. If you don't
want to tell the person their behavior is inappropriate, that's fine. But if
you have a problem with someone you should address it with that person, not go
around talking about them behind their backs. Going around calling people
creeps isn't appropriate behavior either.

For my part, I try to explain to guys what they're doing wrong when I see it.
But that's pretty difficult to do because calling people creeps has created a
culture where it's nearly impossible to have a candid conversation about how
men can learn to date appropriately.

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moonka
I can understand that logic when it comes to social networks that aren't
geared towards professional connections like LinkedIn. On LinkedIn, I'd expect
these guys to be old enough to know better in general, and even if not, old
enough to know that doing this on a professional networking site is creepy. We
aren't talking about high school boys who are doing what they see work in
movies/tv here.

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copsarebastards
> On LinkedIn, I'd expect these guys to be old enough to know better in
> general, and even if not, old enough to know that doing this on a
> professional networking site is creepy.

How would they know this? Just because they're older doesn't mean someone has
explained this to them.

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carsongross
Socially awkward, unattractive men daring to talk to... women?!? How dare
they?

 __begins weekly purge of LinkedIn messages from duckfaced, attractive female
recruiters__

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deckar01
Imagine walking into an interview or phone screening and being hit on by the
person who gets to decide if you are hired. After being dismissed for
rejecting the creep's advances you will probably want to stop by HR on your
way out. Actually HR might have been the appropriate move instead of a shame
site.

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daveth3cat
I don't understand the point of this site. Whilst Linkedin is obviously the
wrong platform, these people aren't using vulgar or offensive language,
they're simply using Linkedin's vast data and profiling information to their
advantage - for a community that supports entrepenerialism and innovation I'm
surprised to see a site like this on the homepage. labelling them as 'creeps'
and calling them out on the internet/Hacker News seems a little harsh. I don't
condone using Linkedin as a dating service (even though it does, arguably,
hold very relevant data), but you do have to admire the spirit!

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DanBC
> these people aren't using vulgar or offensive language,

Yes they are. It is offensive to ignore the reason why women use that site (to
make professional connections) and then hit on them.

That's not networking. There's no useful business going on when you tell
someone that they have pretty eyes, while ignoring their business information.

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daveth3cat
I guess we disagree on that point then. I did say I don't condone it but
calling these people out online as 'creeps' is harsh imo. Also you're assuming
that all these 'creepy assholes' are men.

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adaml_623
Nitpick: The previous poster is assuming that all the people being hit on are
women. That doesn't equal an assumption that all creeps are men.

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cheez
I have to admit, there are some pretty hot recruiters on LinkedIn constantly
coming to my profile wanting to connect.

But yeah, it's a professional network with your name attached. Bad form to say
"nah, but how about a date instead?"

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cLeEOGPw
They are honeypotting young guys. It's good idea to use attractive female to
recruit (especially young) males, as well as attractive male to recruit
females.

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thrillgore
There's not a "Report" function next to each message?

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gizzlon
AAHH, someone called someone pretty online.. bring out the tar and feathers

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toolsadmin
Found nothing wrong with Steward's message. Your "app" is a waste of cycles.

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cLeEOGPw
It's creepy because linkedin social network is environment where everyone is
polite to each other and it is not the norm to make sexual advances in that
environment. The same message from the same person would not be creepy if it
would be on the dating site.

It's the same situation where a coworker saying a compliment in the office is
creepy, but random guy grabbing ass in the club is not.

Creepiness is about deviation from social norm combined with the difference of
attractiveness between individuals, not about absolute level of advance.

Most people can feel it naturally, others lack such skill. If you lack it,
read what I wrote and you can usually assess pretty accurately if an action
can be considered creepy or not.

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valdiorn
Read through a few. Most are just very normal people saying hi to strangers.
When did that get creepy? Everyone is a stranger the first time they meet.
I've met more than one girlfriend online without knowing anything about them,
and our first contact was pretty much exactly like those messages. If it's
unwelcome, then just don't respond, or say "no thanks". Don't be an asshole
and publicly humiliate people for reaching out and asking for a date.

Shame on whoever created that bullshit site.

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DanBC
The current first page on that site are men making comments about the physical
attractiveness of women. Those women are not on the site to have people
talking about their looks. They're there to meet other business people.

Do you really think it's acceptable to walk up to a stranger in some business
context and tell them that they are very pretty, with a heart-melting smile,
and then ask for a date?

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gizzlon
I didn't go outside today to have people begging me for money, but they did. I
did not go to the office to have that boring annoying guy talk to me, but he
did. I did not go to the cafe to have the cute barista girl smile at me, but
she did.. Stuff happens, so what? How far do do you have to have a stick up
your ass to be so offended by this it makes you start a blog? FFS..

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cloakandswagger
Through the lens of modern social justice zealotry, you have a right--and
others have an obligation--to never offend or impose upon your secret,
unspoken list of hang-ups and triggers. Anyone who does is fair game for
public shaming.

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DanBC
That's a shameful misrepresentation of what's happening here.

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valdiorn
You want to talk about shameful misrepresentation in the same post you're
trying to defend this website? Really?

If anything's as shameful misrepresentation it's calling these people out as
creeps and pervent, shaming them on a public website, now syndicated to the
hundreds of thousands of readers of Hacker News, for simply hitting on a girl
(in a not-so-creepy way, if I might add). Wrong venue, sure. But does it call
for this?

