
Launching a start-up and having a family life: It’s possible  - peter123
http://entrepreneur.venturebeat.com/2009/09/07/launching-a-start-up-and-having-a-family-life-it%e2%80%99s-possible/
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AlphaEvolve
To be perfectly honest, you got to ask my ex-wife about this.. I learned this
the hard way unfortunately. Before starting a venture, make sure the
foundation of your couple and family are strong. It takes a LOT of commitment,
patience, energy just to get yourself started. Imagine that you have to invest
as much on the personal level too (if not more). If you don't, your
partner/wife will resent you. I know it's hard, but always try to balance
things out. Time management is a key.

Edit: I am now where I wanted to be professionally, it took me more than a
year of hard work, sleepless night juggling between a fulltime job, my
ventures, and divorce documents.. I am 'successful', but no one to share it
with :(

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BerislavLopac
The trouble is in knowing the strength of the foundation. Too often we don't
want to admit the failure and keep bad things going because of all the wrong
reasons -- kids, mortgages, income etc.

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AlphaEvolve
Agree. Look even if you share the same vision of long term growth when you
just get married, the reality of the short term responsibilities mobilize all
your time and focus. So I learned that there is no such things as tacite
mutual agreement in marriage. You've got to remind your partner your long term
common objective almost constantly. I thought it's a given, it's not. To take
a programming analogy, setting the variables at the beginning of your code is
not enough, you've got to use 'global $variablename' within functions (like
function workinglate($longtermvision, $values, $love)) to make sure your
variables are set and passed on to each function/decision.

Btw, the programming analogy seems to apply that on all types of
relationships: couple, work, business partnerships. For some mysterious
reasons, short terms challenges (bills, rent, mortgage, loans, etc.) keep
blinding our long term objectives.

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jagtesh
Excellent article. Here's what'll stay with me:

"The irony is when I was working insane hours it was to make someone else
wealthy. When I moderated my behavior it was when they were my startups."

and..

"This life isn’t practice for the next one."

I'm probably much younger than most entrepreneurs here (I'm 22), but I could
relate to everything Steve had to say. And I'll add to it; it doesn't pay to
be burnt out with unhappy people all around you. The negative energy
undoubtedly has an impact on oneself. But what takes the cake, is the
realization about how you'd like your gravestone to read.

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briancooley
The biggest factor that Blank had in his favor was that he worked outside his
home. If you are going the "garage route" like a lot of YC companies, then I
think it is much harder - maybe impossible - especially when your children are
young. An environment with your kids in it isn't particularly conducive to
working, and young kids will want you to be engaged all the time. There's not
a noprocrast setting on a two-year-old.

~~~
tptacek
Which is why you should never go this route. Work in the local library and a
coffee shop (for scheduled calls). It's better than your home office and it
keeps your hours clear.

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dpcan
Having kids is a huge motivator to succeed.

I started my business when I had one son. I was young and had no fear. Now I
have 4, a mortgage, etc, so basically failure is not an option without major
consequences. It keeps me hungry for success and doesn't slow me down in the
slightest.

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daeken
Sometimes an article comes up somewhere that fits life perfectly for that
moment. I'm currently on vacation, taking some time to figure out how I can
achieve a normal life (family, real social life, etc) while running a startup.

A lot of his checklist I figured out (but rarely followed) when I was working
a normal job and trying to balance my fiancee and my startup, and some I
figured out when looking back, but things like the family dinner and engaging
your spouse just didn't really occur to me there. Hopefully I can take his
information and make things work out better in the future.

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wglb
Seen this before, but I like the article. I have been involved in three--one
well before I had kids, one now that the kids are out of the house, and the
other, well, that was not all that good--was not following his examples.

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nopassrecover
Er this is just a verbatim repost of
[http://steveblank.com/2009/06/18/epitaph-for-an-
entrepreneur...](http://steveblank.com/2009/06/18/epitaph-for-an-
entrepreneur/). See <http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=663432>

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Tichy
"back at work for another 4 or 5 hours until the wee hours of the morning."

What if you need sleep?

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nopassrecover
Don't start a startup.

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sachinag
Work, life, sleep: choose two.

This is different from college how?

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gruseom
"Life" before you have children is very different than "life" afterward.

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timf
Same with "sleep" (which in turn will directly affect our kind of work).

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abalashov
I think one of the most difficult things about this to manage politically is
actually the reconciliation of
<http://www.paulgraham.com/procrastination.html> with the comparatively
pedantic, very detail-oriented and exacting household maintenance
methodologies of most women, and the expectations they have for you to
participate.

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nuweborder
Surround yourself with supportive people that understand your sacrifice and
your hard work. Whom understand the long hours, and the large feat that you
are trying to accomplish, and you can be successful. Have a supportive
wife/husband, parents, friends etc, and you will be ok. If they are not
supportive, then maybe they are not the ones for you. Cannot do both without
that support.

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araneae
Revised title: "Launching a start-up and having a family life: It's possible
if you're a man and can dump all the child-rearing on your wife."

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generalk
Point of order: a female entrepreneur could just as easily put the child-
rearing on her husband.* And there's no need for the negative connotation: is
it impossible that one partner can happily take the lion's share of the child-
rearing duties so that the other can focus on a business?

* applies for all two-gender permutations

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rjurney
A recent quote from a local VC: I've never known an entrepreneur to bootstrap
a business to a big win who's marriage survived doing so.

Which is what made me leave Atlanta for Silicon Valley.

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tptacek
And I know multiple entrepreneurs who did exactly that who have amazing
families. You want probably the worst person in the world to take life
planning advice from? "A local VC".

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rjurney
Hahaha, I don't know anyone who bootstrapped a startup to serious cash since
2002 in Atlanta, PERIOD - and I've looked really hard, talked to everyone in
town - let alone that did it and kept a family.

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maxer
how about an article on working full time, coding in any spare time you have,
attend networking meetings and try to maintain a basic relationship with a gf.

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dshah
Sure, it's possible -- lots of things are possible.

However, I'd argue that it's pretty improbable (at least in the early stages).

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ganley
WhatEVER. Working until 7, then several more hours after the kids go to bed,
and half a day on Saturday, doesn't fit any definition of "balance" that
interests me. Also, you've carved out a couple of hours a day for your kids,
but what about your wife? Those hours after the kids go to bed are our best
quality time alone.

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bayareaguy
Curiously absent from his list is time spent on social networks (including
HN).

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maxer
how about an article on working full time, coding any spare chance you have,
attend networking meetings and try to maintain a basic relationship with a gf.

