Ask HN: What advice would you give your 18 year old self? - catherinezng
======
OhHeyItsE
\- be confident enough to start purging negative people and situations from
your life.

\- Early in your career, if you ever find yourself saying "I wish I could do
X, but I work to much/have already used all my vacation time, etc" \- without
question you should to do those things and work less. Nobody ever looks back
in time (especially in a situation when they are out of time) and says "gee I
really wish I worked more".

\- You are about to enter the age of drinking/bar/club/happy hour culture.
Sure, have fun. But remember that there is almost never any return on this
investment. All that time spent in the bar (and the time spent recovering from
it) costs you time that could be spent pursuing your passions, hobbies,
fitness, etc. Those things return in MULTIPLES later in life.

~~~
orthoganol
> be confident enough to start purging negative people

Except at 18 it's often your own raging insecurities that instantly label
people as bad. More so, the main thing to tell my 18 year old self would be to
just relax and open up around people who knee-jerk make you feel insecure -
athletic, good looking people, really smart over-confident people, attractive
women, etc. I put up all sorts of defenses when I was younger, and I paid for
it, even now moving into my 30s. It's obvious now I could have easily
befriended these people, or dated others, if I had just relaxed and kept my
wits about me.

------
sevensor
Cynicism is lazy and intellectually bankrupt.

Tell your loved ones that you love them.

Exercise classes can be really fun.

That calculus class the university thinks you tested out of is pretty
important and you should take it anyway because EE classes will make a lot
more sense if you already know Taylor series.

Also, take stats in college even though you don't have to.

------
segmondy
Intelligence is overrated, hard work is where it's at. Your peers not as smart
as you will get much farther through hard work.

~~~
justboxing
> hard work is where it's at.

This. Reminds me of the quote from the movie "Rounders". At the very end.

"People insists on calling it Luck."

------
Binky_Bob
Don't waste time with religion, drugs, or alcohol. They all consume too much
time and lead to useless guilt.

Exercise more. Don't let yourself get fat.

Stick with the guitar or piano or whatever instrument you play.

Put off marriage as long as possible. At some point you will have an urge to
reproduce. Until then, enjoy life. Once you have kids your priorities
dramatically change and by the time you can get back to what _you_ want to do,
you'll be too old and broken down to do it.

Don't get into debt. Better still, live below your means and save like crazy.
When you do spend money, spend it on experiences (like travel) rather than
things (like a car). The memories of your experiences will stay with you for
the rest of your life, while the things you buy will get put aside as soon as
you have kids.

Spend quality time with your parents. When you're older and they're dead
you'll wish you had.

Keep a journal.

------
bensonn
Be who you want to be. At 18 I thought I could do what I wanted and eventually
morph into a person that had qualities I valued.

You won't magically turn into who you want to be. If you want to be a hard
working person then start working hard. If you want to be an independent
person stop depending on others. If you want to be a nice person then start
being kind and empathetic towards others. You have to BE, right now and in the
present, who you want to become.

So simple and self evident but I didn't figure it out until my mid-late 20s.

I would second the never start drinking and stop doing drugs advise but pretty
sure 18 year old me would never listen to that advice.

------
moarrgan
Just never START drinking, and you'll never miss it. I PROMISE.

------
justboxing
Get laid. A lot.

Depending on where you live / the culture you grow up in, this may be easy or
challenging. I had to make up for "lost time" after I arrived in America as a
24 year old from India (where, as you may or may not know, dating is(was?) a
taboo.)

Youth is fleeting.

------
skylark
Strike a better balance between studying and socializing.

In the real world nobody cares that I was a nearly straight A student, and my
grades haven't helped me move forward in my career in the slightest.

I should have taken more time to cultivate my friendships and get out more.

------
unimpressive
\- The truth of the matter is that while you're good at programming and 'tech'
in the abstract, you're missing the key production skills that actually make
you employable. Spend less time on Lisp and more time on the kind of thing
that people post job ads for. Employers will be more satisfied with a decent
Django project than a great Diplomacy Adjudicator.

Web frameworks are a great idea anyway, you'll be happy you used one.

\- Every project needs an interface, stop neglecting subjects like typography
and really learn how to make something good.

\- Read CLRS start to finish. This will make you more employable than most
other ideas you pursue.

\- There's a bus stop just up the street from you, it's not actually that hard
to go places and the world isn't that dangerous. You should get out more,
it'll be good for you.

\- You're going to forget where you're at right now with this place in your
life, this is a problem because such amnesia makes it hard to evaluate long
term growth. You should write down what you're doing and keep records that
your future self can use to evaluate his progress. Start logging your
emotional state with the experience sampling method. As a heuristic if you
wouldn't be in trouble losing the last six months of skill growth you have
major problems.

\- Stop focusing on being rich by making lots of money at a job and focus on
being rich by investment and steady growth. There are people who make 300k a
year in Silicon Valley that live paycheck to paycheck and people who make 90k
a year but live like they make 40k while investing the rest. You would much
rather be the latter than the former.

------
captainmuon
Since all the obvious things have been said, how about this.

All the awesome things you were promised that adulthood would be? Adulthood is
only like that between 18 and 30 (or even only at university).

Staying up as long as you want to, waking up when you want to, drinking,
partying, flirting, getting laid (with different partners), being at peak
physical health without doing much for it, having time to study something
deeply, taking a stab at changing the world and having the illusion that you
will live to see your utopia, travelling the world, disconnect from
everything, or go right into the middle of the action... That life that you
couldn't wait to grow up into is over quicker than you think.

I don't want to sound too depressing. Life after 30 has it's own benefits. You
finally really feel like an adult, and can say fuck it, I'm buying that grill,
that car, because I earn enough and it's my decision now. I'm participating in
grown-up politics and business without feeling like a pretender. And having a
family is incredibly awesome and rewarding.

But you're never going spontaneously get wasted with your friends on a
Wednesday night tequila party again. It has its good and bad sides...

------
0x4f3759df
-Your metabolism is going to slow down, so stop eating so much -Don't smoke, it negatively affects your desire to workout (you will get fat) -Don't waste (too much) time at the bar -You're going to drift apart from your friends -Cultivate experiences that you can talk about (ie. not chess) -Understand cities, live somewhere walkable -Understand money. (ie. Tax on labor vs tax on capital gains.)

------
LarryPage
Hey, it's cool that you've been teaching yourself to code. It does not mean
you're smarter than anyone else.

Also, STOP DOING DRUGS.

~~~
abdulmalik
strong echo with fierce emphasis. if you prize the upper-hand of authority
that you have over yourself, beware all intoxicants.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3BMkHg9_Pg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3BMkHg9_Pg)

------
Jaruzel
1\. DON'T MARRY HER.

2\. DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE A CHILD WITH HER.[1]

\---

[1] I _love_ my daughter to the end of the universe and back, but my ex-
wife...? Um, not so much.

------
AnimalMuppet
Learn to be better at dealing with people. It matters.

The right girl is out there. She's very much worth the wait. Be patient.

~~~
chad_strategic
>>> The right girl is out there. She's very much worth the wait. Be patient.

very very very true.

------
scarface74
\- the industry connections that your college has matters as much or more than
the curriculum.

\- live while you're young. All of the talk about saving while you're young
and let compounding work for you is mathematically true, but you'll probably
make enough more later on so it won't matter. Once you have kids, mortgage,
and responsibilities you'll regret not spending your youth having fun.

\- on the other hand live below your means. Don't obligate yourself to high
fixed costs - like an expensive car, house, apartment. Have enough disposable
income to gain experiences.

I enjoyed my younger, single years and now that I'm older and settled, I don't
go through life questioning what would have happened if I took more risks.

------
jcslzr
\- read "starting strength" and get a weightlifting routine \- meditate
everyday \- dont be normal, be you \- dont study what everybody is studying,
study what you really like doing \- dont believe in fairness, but karma may be
true \- read "the gervais principle" before stepping into a cubicle \- if you
force yourself to never be an employee, in the long run you will make it on
your own, just follow that rule \- learn about investing, yes you may lose
money, but is not that hard to make money on it, and it turns out the way the
world works is that you can be very rich without ever producing anything or
working just sitting in a good investment

------
jbob2000
Don't be afraid of hard work - when you're overburdened, work hard and get it
done. It will payoff later, you'll learn how to do the same amount of work in
less time.

Don't stay in one place too long, changing jobs every 1-2 years worked out
pretty well for you!

Trust your gut feeling about people. If someone feels shady, they probably
are. You got burned a few times not trusting your gut.

Call and hang out with your friends and family more. The days when people will
reach out to you first will start to end and all the days will start to feel
the same.

------
ZanrielJames
Keep programming and don't be afraid of corporate I.T. You don't have to be a
musician or make a huge impact on the world but if you keep programming you'll
be happy.

That was back in 1994. Back then I felt pulled in multiple directions because
I was in a band, hanging out with hippies, writing music, but I also loved
hacking and all things computer related. I was raised to believe we all must
do our best to have the maximum positive impact on the world, and anything
less would be selling yourself short.

I also wanted to be a programmer, maybe eventually a game developer, but back
then the only programming jobs required a CS degree. I went through some books
and wrote a few apps, but it all seemed out of reach back then.

I eventually settled on I.T. but stayed in the SMB space due to bad
experiences in the corporate world early on. I hit rock bottom after failing
to run my own business during the late 00's. I was ready for a career change
when I stumbled on an enterprise I.T. gig. About 2 years ago I discovered
DevOps and now I'm a full time developer focused on simplifying, automating,
and abstracting complex infrastructure tasks. It's so fun! Python, HTML, and
JS all day!

So yeah, I should have stuck with programming, I had no idea how fun it would
be. Maybe back then I didn't have the focus or perspective to really engineer
complex projects. I was also intimidated by all the maths.

------
twobyfour
Develop relationships with your college professors.

Going to office hours isn't just for suck-ups and people who can't keep up
with the work. And professors aren't strange incomprehensible creatures from
another plane - they're just human beings.

This will pay off when you need a thesis advisor, need references for entry-
level jobs, apply to grad school, etc. Plus, yanno, new friends. Human
relationships are kind of the point of being human.

------
cafard
You have more disposable time now than you will again for quite a while. Don't
waste it all.

The marginal cost of an additional class in college is entirely in time (see
above).

Study languages more. Do not stop with the minimum requirements for your
degree, continue on to at least sound reading proficiency.

Take more math classes.

That VDT with a blinking cursor? Learn something about it. Computers are more
usable when you can get away from punch cards.

~~~
mandude
I am assuming that you were 18 in the 70s?

------
chad_strategic
-Chances are whatever you are currently stressing about at 18, you will forget about in 3 or 4 years. Then laugh about in 5 years and then in 10 year get mad that you stressed about it. ;)

-Work hard at being a good person and helping people.

-The only problems are the ones that money can't solve. (life,death, health, etc) Everything else is just figment of our fears or insecurities or lack of hard work.

------
joezydeco
Work harder at getting that NCSA job.

If you get in, make friends with that Andreessen kid.

------
EliRivers
All the money you can into low cost index funds with dividends reinvested.
Don't stop for a couple of decades.

~~~
Meekro
I'd like to +1 this because it needs to be repeated until the whole world has
heard it. Since 1950 or so, the S&P 500 has averaged 8% per year growth.
Nearly all managed funds have done worse -- and that's before you pay their
management fees.

Here is all the investment advice you will ever need: Open a Schwab account,
and buy their S&P 500 index fund (SWPPX). There are no fees to open a Schwab
account, no trading fees to buy the fund, and essentially no fees to hold it.
Do not sell if you think it's going to go down. Just keep buying with whatever
extra money you have month-to-month. That 8% per year (plus dividends) will
add up fast.

Once you have some assets to your name, managed investment firms like JP
Morgan will be courting you. Don't be fooled -- they won't do better than the
market over the long run, and you'll pay a 1% per year management fee
regardless of how well they do.

And if you're wondering "who is this guy and what is his authority to speak on
this?", consider that Warren Buffet, world's greatest investor, agrees with
me. Look it up.

~~~
catherinezng
How about Vanguard's S&P 500 (VOO)?

~~~
Meekro
Pretty much the same thing. I recommend SWPPX for several reasons:

1\. Schwab is pretty much the best bank in the world for many reasons. Most
professional service, no fees for banking, and minimal fees for trading.

2\. With a Schwab account, buying and selling SWPPX incurs no trading fees --
since they own the fund.

3\. The fund expense ratio is ever-so-slightly lower, 0.03%. VOO has 0.04%.

..but if that doesn't work for you for whatever reason, VOO is great!

My main point is that too many people are either afraid to invest at all, or
they get robbed blind by investment managers like JP Morgan who take 1% of
your money every year, regardless of their own performance.

~~~
newbear
You got any fidelity advice for me?

------
taway_1212
If music in a club seems very loud, leave. Or at least, if you're going to
stay, take frequent breaks out of the blast zone (maybe hang out in front of
the club, or maybe around the bar if it's quieter there) as this will greatly
reduce the chances of permanent hearing damage and tinnitus.

------
triangleman
The question is sort of pointless, as my 18 year old self wouldn't take much
advice; it would take another 18 years to become the man I am today, and it
will take at least another 18 years before I can call myself the man I hope to
be.

That said:

\- Your drug and alcohol use is covering up a larger problem, so work on that.

\- Similarly, your aversion to Christians is because you are scared they might
be on to something.

\- There is no substitute for hard work, either in results or life
satisfaction.

\- Women are neither a piece of meat, nor a Venus of Botticelli. They are not
a goal to be attained, they are human beings with cares and concerns of their
own. Seriously. If you want to work so hard on a personal goal, work on
yourself.

------
rektide
The world at your age seems like one filled with marvel and wonder, and the
age seems like it could only be getting better.

It won't. The world is small, and few people can keep up the glint and gleam.
Technology becomes propped up by massified consumerized systems, only experts
get to play, and creativity wanes. It's up to the very very few to band
together tightly with the other hopeful would bes and to build, not a future,
but an active boisterous present, one they are satisfied living in. Build your
own means, and share, radiate out to the world, be a beacon for other
individuals creating and being creative with the high tech they craft and fit.

------
chazu
Stop smoking pot. Learn more math, its actually really cool. Try not to be so
damn edgy all the time, it's embarrassing. Learn to control your spending.

Oh, and switch your damn major to Comp Sci, music is a waste of time AND
money.

------
parsnips
Don't drink alcohol.

~~~
mullen
This is my big one; Give Up Drinking Now, It Will Be Your Down Fall.

I would also thrown get into good shape, take college seriously and get your
depression treated.

------
SirLJ
Travel... sleep on the beach... drink the whole weekend and show Monday to
work, straight from the bar... fight with the police... have all the fun you
can get, do all the crazy stuff for the next few years, because once you get
married and with kids, you won't be able to... There are no memories from
money in the bank and from sleep... Enjoy!

------
pisteoff
Don't be so serious.

------
pwason
BE KIND. BE FEARLESS. DO WHAT YOU LIKE.

------
sssilver
> Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood,
> you must be" \- she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you
> must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I
> recommend pleasant.

------
thepaulstella
\- Learn to save money and stop desiring things you do not yet own.

\- Stop telling people that their problems are pragmatically easy to solve.

\- Find a mentor in whatever currently interests you.

\- Learn to collaborate.

\- Hesitate to start intimate relationships; be a friend, first and foremost.

\- Stop believing you are alone in the world.

------
thearn4
You're old enough now that you can actually pick who your friends are. Choose
wisely.

------
ccozan
I have one single big advice: learn how to be an entrepreneur and go with this
as early as possible and keep it running.

Don't wait 10 years to realize that no one will ever implement your ideas. In
IT times, this is similar with an eternity.

------
tmaly
build things, even small things, put them out there for the world to see.

You have more of an advantage when you are young as time is something you have
less of when you get older.

the real learning begins now in the real world, not in a room where you take
tests.

------
sauravt
Don't take a gap year

Get enough exercise to maintain the excellent health you're in

Ask her out GODDAMMIT

Write diary daily

Call GGD more often

------
adamwong246
Buy Bitcoin. addendum: take _smart_ chances. Minimize your risk and commit!

~~~
mandude
And if you're getting started today in investing -- it's always a good time to
invest. If you think that 10 years ago you should have invested in X, then in
10 years from now you'll be thinking you should have invested in Y.

For example -- buying BTC is a bit expensive today and will likely be more
expensive in the future. You could buy 1 BTC today and hope that it goes up
significantly in the future. OR you could look at Ethereum and realize that
it's in a similar place to BTC and that in 7 years from now you may be wishing
you had purchased it today.

------
thirdreplicator
Study physics, statistics, and computer science. Meditate every day. Read Seth
Speaks and Law of one. Go to South America and find a shaman to give you
Ayahuasca tea. Don't get married until you're 50.

------
nicolashahn
Go to college to get a degree with a return on investment, not because going
to college is a thing everyone you know does. And you might find out that you
actually like programming more than making art.

------
Arubis
Therapy isn't just for crises. Take the time and seek the conversation to
figure yourself out, because until you do, nothing's going to be enough.

------
treyhuffine
If there's something that needs to be built but you don't know how, don't
search for someone that can do it. Learn and build it yourself.

------
kronos29296
I would advise the 18 y/o me to learn programming seriously and to spend less
time on Anime (Damn you Death Note and Code Geass)

------
BerislavLopac
Register dot com domains, as many as you can.

------
tootie
Spend the dotcom recession years in grad school instead of 2 years at that
lame job that set your career back.

------
mcphage
Take out as many Student Loans as you can. Dump it all into Apple stock (which
was <$10 at that point).

------
daxfohl
Get a grad degree while you're young. Once you're settled, it's just not going
to happen.

------
lukewrites
Go spend all the time with your brother you can.

------
satsuma
Go to class. Break up with him. Get out more.

------
dyeje
Don't let bad relationships drag on.

------
vorotato
Organization is a really valuable skill.

------
techonup
Take 6.172, because it rocks. :)

------
carapace
"Save money."

------
i_r7al
Buy crypto currency

------
l8nite
Save.

------
walterstucco
You're doing great.

I'm sorry, you're not going to die young.

