

Two Kids, In Two Years: Best Time Management Strategy Ever - voidfiles
http://alexkessinger.net/story/two-kids-two-years-best-time-management-strategy-ever

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bad_user
> _Maybe you don't need to have kids, but you do need to find some kind of
> full filling activity, outside of start ups. It will help you focus when you
> aren't doing that activity._

This definitely sounds true.

Taking it a little further ... startups are all about freedom and money.

As time goes by, those count less and less for me personally. The freedom you
get comes with extra responsibilities, and you really don't need that much
money to be happy.

But there's nothing like a kid coming into the picture ... a little boy is on
the way and I want to be there for him in every possible way, never miss his
first steps and provide him with all the financial support he needs to succeed
in life. Suddenly regular employment doesn't sound so great.

Entrepreneurship is exhausting, life itself is exhausting and for the long
term you need a motivator outside of feeding your hungry ego.

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ivankirigin
Having a kid is extremely focusing. I had an 8 month old at the start of YC.
There was nothing else. With my second's recent arrival, I'm focusing a lot on
what I want to do with my time.

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fondue
Good luck being able to plan that, we tried to have two kids in two years but
nature intervened; my wife became pregnant within two months of trying with
our eldest and no matter what we tried it took four years for our second.

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mkramlich
0 kids in 50 years: even better than "best"

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rfreytag
The moment I held my first child changed me for the better. The effect was of
stumbling on an Easter Egg hidden in my software. Revelation is an
understatement.

~~~
quickpost
Can you go into more detail about this? I'm struggling with the decision of
whether to have a child with my significant other, and wouldn't mind hearing
more about how it has affected your mental state, along with your professional
life.

Thanks!

~~~
rfreytag
"Purpose"

Your child trusts you completely. Everything you do matters to him/her
utterly. Your child withholds nothing and you find yourself, compelled to
answer in kind.

I am a stay-at-home Dad running a small software company. My son was born a
few weeks after I submitted the first proposal to develop the new product. His
first two and a half years have been circumscribed by that contract.

My daughter was born when the follow on contract went live. Her first two and
half years have also been circumscribed by a contract - the second one.

The late nights, early mornings, urgent crises, and - yes - triumphs (mine and
my childrens') have been uncountable. You must manage your time around this.
You won't have time to luxuriate in exploration before the Person from Porlock
knocks. I miss the exploring. Sleep like a soldier when you can, work fast
when you mind is clear and the house silent. I used to stay up late - now we
are awoken with the sun by the Son.

I have aged 10 years in 5 - no question about it. I also have lived 10 years
in a very full 5.

Caution, 2 children is more than twice as hard. Space them out - be in diapers
with one at a time. Have family nearby (we did not) as the buffer softens the
really hard times when everything goes wrong or everyone is sick.

To your partner - be deeply affectionate for no reason and often. You will
gain reserves for the tough times.

That makes four startups - business, marriage, and two doses of purpose.

~~~
cwp
"Purpose" is exactly right. I've been meaning to start a business for years,
but I kept getting sucked into other people's projects because they were
working on great stuff. Being a parent has _really_ forced me to extend my
planning horizon, get organized, figure out what's important (for my family as
well as myself) and devote myself to it.

When my daughter was born, I took 8 months off from my day job, intending to
divide my time between taking care of the baby and banging out a prototype. I
expected that I'd be able to work while the baby was asleep. That was true,
but what I didn't expect was that my free time would come in very short
intervals. I found I couldn't maintain focus long enough to create something
new.

Instead, I switched strategies and started doing contract work. That was
better; with well-defined tasks, I could make real progress in 15 or 20
minutes, be interrupted and then efficiently pickup where I left off. That was
a setback, no doubt, but it hasn't derailed me the way it once would have.

Not making progress on my prototype delays my startup plans, but it does put
me in a better financial position to carry them out. My purpose is clear and
concrete. It's not some abstract ambition like making "a lot" of money,
gaining the admiration of my peers, or "being a success." It's to be able to
give my family what they need, as completely as possible.

So being a parent has forced me to take a slower, more deliberate path, but
it's also given me the determination required to walk it.

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TotlolRon
Two Kids, In Two Years: Best.

