
Peter's Evil Overlord List (1996) - ejz
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
======
undecisive
> 99\. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size

I absolutely love this one, if for no other reason than it has no practical
parallels today. (In case anyone is unfamiliar, 1.44Mb was the size of a
standard floppy disk, so 1.45Mb would have been more difficult to copy to disk
and run away with.)

~~~
jcranmer
For extra fun, the "standard" 3½" floppy disk (the last major floppy disk)
does not contain 1,440,000 bytes or 1,509,949 (i.e., 1.44MiB). It contains
1,474,560 bytes, or 2,880 512-byte sectors. So a 1.45MB file would actually
fit on a floppy, since disk utility programs invariably use the decimal-based
number for K,M,G,T sizing.

~~~
0x0
If I remember correctly, an MS-DOS formatted 1.44mb 3.5" floppy usually has
1,457,664 free bytes for user files?

~~~
userbinator
You remember well. Probably like me, you spent countless hours splitting files
across disks. ;-)

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twic
> 35\. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic.
> Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

Wow, remember the good old days when Gen X were the generation you sneered at?
Whatever happened to them?

~~~
OscarTheGrinch
Babies.

~~~
crikli
...that are now in college. Seeing my friend’s kids posting pics in front of
the same buildings I took photos in front of in the 90s always causes me to
sigh, say something to my wife about how tomorrow I will be 65, and then run
my fingers through hair comfortably graying.

~~~
wglb
Wait--you still have hair? Not me, other than a little.

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Splognosticus
In a similar vein there is "2500 things Mr. Welch can no longer do in an RPG".

[https://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html](https://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html)

~~~
phigcch
Not to mention the 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S.
Army: [http://skippyslist.com/list/](http://skippyslist.com/list/)

~~~
amyjess
> NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the
> Battalion Headquarters sign as an “Easter Desecration.”

This is made all the more disturbing by the fact that, when I was in college,
I witnessed a friend's roommate actually crucify a dead rabbit and stake it
out outside... somewhere around Easter.

And, no, it wasn't a dead rabbit they randomly found lying around either. He
and some buddies of his went Wabbit Hunting with Airsoft guns one day, and
then they settled on crucifixion when they were debating what to do with their
newly-acquired dead rabbit. Not so fun fact: around a decade after this, one
of the guys involved in the hunting party got killed in a mass shooting. I
still wonder if anyone told this story at his wake.

This all happened when my friend and I were studying on his couch, by the way.
It was very hard to concentrate on the physics textbook when we kept hearing
the _whack whack whack_ of his roommate nailing a rabbit to the cross on the
kitchen floor.

Edit: Because it's telling me I'm posting too fast, I can't reply directly to
the person replying to me suggesting I'm victim-blaming Tony, so I'll post a
clarification here:

I'm not saying that he deserved to get killed or anything. The shooter was a
despicable excuse for a person who was upset his ex-wife was moving on with
her life and enjoying herself, so he killed her and almost everyone attending
her party. None of the people who got shot that day deserved it in the
slightest.

I only mentioned he got killed in a mass shooting because it's a really
fucked-up coda to an already fucked-up story. Like this story is fucked-up to
begin with, and it's even more fucked-up that he got murdered. Honestly, if I
was at his wake, I would've told the story not to make him out to be a bad guy
or something, but to add some levity and remind everyone what a... shall we
say, dynamic guy he was.

~~~
justtopost
Lol, sounds like a waste of good stew, but clearly it had the desired effect
if you are still telling stories about it years later. Kind of insensitive to
victim blame no matter your feelings.

------
armagon
> 109\. I will see to it that plucky young lads/lasses in strange clothes and
> with the accent of an outlander shall REGULARLY climb some monument in the
> main square of my capital and denounce me, claim to know the secret of my
> power, rally the masses to rebellion, etc. That way, the citizens will be
> jaded in case the real thing ever comes along.

[From 'Cell Block A']

Makes me think, as an evil overlord, I'd do something like:

"I will allow the people to have a democracy, and elect a new government every
few years. I will rule from behind the scenes, with my henchmen acting as
civil servants. If the people are upset about my rule, they can always be
reminded to elect a new government (which will, of course, be powerless to do
anything about me)."

~~~
lukifer
> If the people are upset about my rule, they can always be reminded to elect
> a new government (which will, of course, be powerless to do anything about
> me)

This is paralleled/satirized in the British comedy "Yes, Minister", wherein an
idealistic politician attempts to enact his campaign agenda alongside a
cynical (and unelected) bureaucrat, who holds all the political capital, and
tediously educates the new Minister on how power actually works in practice.

It's also mirrored in the original concept of the "Deep State" (before the
term was heavily co-opted by conspiracy theorists):
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_state](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_state)

------
rossdavidh
Ouch: "Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I
will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access."

~~~
jalgos_eminator
Yeah, that one seemed particularly prophetic. Seeing as this was written in
1996, was that a real concern then? I'm too young to have known the early
internet.

~~~
vkou
Most people's internet access was limited to either their university, or a
shitty, time-limited, low-bandwidth dial-up connection that blocked your
household phoneline.

------
progval
> 65\. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals,
> the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the
> Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main
> control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

Another rule: I will not brag about my overlord list (which contains critical
information) on the Internet

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statictype
I remember reading this over a 33k modem and a dial up link.

I sometimes miss those early days of the internet where everyone had their own
geocities page.

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sbr464
Cached
[http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:7R8yueg...](http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:7R8yuegLBjsJ:www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us)

~~~
teddyh
Non-Evil Overlord cache:

[https://web.archive.org/web/20190405111542/http://www.evilov...](https://web.archive.org/web/20190405111542/http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html)

~~~
cdbattags
This made me chuckle. But, also, thank you for caring.

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acheron
Just a week or so ago I found a printout I had made of one of these lists in
1997 (had a date printed at the bottom of the page). Good times.

I think today’s equivalent of this list is TVTropes?

~~~
Sharlin
_> I think today’s equivalent of this list is TVTropes?_

Pretty much. Indeed, most of the entries on the list probably have an
associated named trope.

~~~
tangent128
They do, and have been helpfully annotated:
[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList)

~~~
Sharlin
Ha, thought so! For some reason I didn’t find it when I googled.

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_the_inflator
Thx for this gem. Haven't had a look at this website for 20 years, which was a
newsgroup phenomenon back then.

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teekert
Haha, I'd love to see a movie which implements these :)

~~~
pjc50
Some of these were lampshaded/lampooned by _Austin Powers_.

~~~
derefr
_The Incredibles_ also took a few stabs.

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kemayo
If you enjoy the Evil Overlord List, and are in the mood for a diversion into
fiction, A Practical Guide To Evil plays to a very similar theme.

[https://practicalguidetoevil.wordpress.com/](https://practicalguidetoevil.wordpress.com/)

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weinzierl
"This page has been blocked by your network operator."

Oh, come on, really!? The internet that is to come is going to be a _very_
unfunny place.

~~~
dredmorbius
Clearly, you're working for an evil overlord.

