

Ask HN: How can I talk to people about death without freaking them out? - matryoshka

My business is centered around death (not a funeral home). I am looking for ideas and suggestions on how to talk to people about death without making them uncomfortable. Death is inevitable and we need to embrace it. Thanks.
======
Codhisattva
In America you're up against a great wall of silence. Our culture makes death
taboo and few overcome it.

So perhaps you should focus on communicating with the few who are comfortable
with talking about death and consider them your target market.

By communicating naturally and openly with those who are receptive you'll also
participate in an ongoing cultural change. Eventually, maybe even in your
business's lifetime, culture will change and the taboo will fade.

Until the taboo fades at the cultural level you're not going to be successful
at changing people's minds. As a business you won't have the time and exposure
to others to remove the taboo.

Here's why - individuals react to strong taboos without reason. You want to
persuade people with reason. But it's too late, they've already turned that
off as soon as you say the word "death". (It similar to the saying that no one
ever changed their mind by losing an argument. But taboo is even stronger.)

But there are people who are not uncomfortable. Find them, start with them,
and just talk about it. Don't worry about others, they are not your market
anyway. You can find the "embracers" in spiritual sub-cultures, pop self help
bookstores, health care workers, and elsewhere. It's a disorganized group, and
not a community.

If you want to be an activist (instead of a business) then you might take a
personal one-on-one approach. Talk, listen, repeat. The more an individual
considers death and talks about it, the more comfortable they will become. In
years, the individual may lose the taboo altogether.

~~~
matryoshka
Thank you for all the suggestions - all good ones. I have been reaching out to
those who are comfortable talking about death (e.g. The Order of the Good
Death). It has been empowering to be in the forefront of bringing the topic of
death into life and making people embrace it. It is easier to talk about death
with like-minded people.

~~~
Codhisattva
I'd suggest Stephen Levine and Ram Dass as well as the Death With Dignity
movement.

[Edit: had the wrong author]

~~~
matryoshka
Just looked up all your references. Thank you for pointing me in the right
direction.

------
pktm
Hang out with Buddhists. Seriously.

~~~
matryoshka
I agree. Japan would be perfect for what my company offers.

