
Ask HN: How can I get myself out of this? - potta_coffee
Dear HN,  
I&#x27;ve been in my current job about five months. Initially the job was supposed to be a simple Python web-dev gig, but the job description morphed and I found myself the &quot;manager&quot; of a tiny development team.<p>We&#x27;re supposed to be doing a re-write of an existing Django application for my company. I was hesitant about a big-bang re-write for obvious reasons but the CEO decided they want it that way, so we&#x27;re doing it. CEO decided that I should be the manager of the project, but here are my problems:<p>1. One of the other programmers told the CEO he thought he could write this app in his sleep (he can&#x27;t) and have it completed in less than six months (he can&#x27;t). Now CEO is breathing down my neck to have this thing done by March of next year, and we&#x27;ve barely begun the discovery process.<p>2. CEO gave one of my developers, a key resource, permission to work nights, remotely. This developer is a key part of the team which is now completely fragmented.<p>3. CEO gave my developer permission to take 10 days off because he&#x27;s been putting in so many hours...hours I told him not to work.<p>4. CEO wanted us to divert from building the new app to add features to the old one, now CEO tells me that they&#x27;re frustrated because we&#x27;re not making progress on the new application.<p>5. CEO tells me I&#x27;m not assertive enough with developers, after undermining every decision I&#x27;ve tried to make.<p>6. Essentially, the CEO is running the show, I&#x27;m not managing anything but the &quot;manager&quot; title allows them to make me their punching bag.<p>What should I do HN? Should I try to save this? Should I just start looking for jobs again? I&#x27;ve only been here 5 months and I&#x27;m worried about what this will look like to prospective employers. Also, I just relocated my wife and kids for this job and moving again will be a huge PITA.
======
CarolineW
Random advice from a random person on the internet, possibly affecting your
life decisions ... take this for what it's worth.

You need to decide what you want to accomplish. If things can be changed,
would you want this job anyway? If you do want this job (assuming it can be
saved/fixed) then what is it that needs to be changed?

Your point 6 nails it - as I see it you need to go to the CEO and say that
while your title is "manager", your "team" is actually going to and taking
direction from the CEO. As a result, you say, you are unable to do the job.

Now you need to make the decision as to what you want, or you can simply leave
it up to them. Choose:

* Say that you require the authority as well as the responsibilities, so your team must only take direction from you, except in exceptional circumstances which must then be confirmed by you;

* Say that since you are not given the authority of a manager then you require that you return to being a member of the team;

* Give them the choice between the above two options, and that whatever is agreed must include written confirmation of the separation of duties.

But you must decide what it is you want to achieve. Yes, it would be a PITA to
relocate again, but as it stands you will be miserable, in danger of being
"let go" regardless, and have no control. If you _do_ take control of your own
destiny, at least you will have some control!

You have the title of manager. That doesn't just mean that you tell your team
what to do, it also means that you must manage your relationship with _your_
manager - the CEO. Perhaps even start by saying that you are keen to make a
success of your position, you need their assistance and guidance, and that to
do your job properly you must be given the authority. To phrase it like that
means they demonstrate power by giving you the control you need.

FWIW. As I say, random advice from a random stranger on the internet.

~~~
potta_coffee
Thanks for the advice. You're not saying anything revolutionary, but it's good
to hear some perspective from the outside. I'm in a place where I think having
the needed conversation could be pretty volatile. A bridge burning situation.
And I guess that answers all my questions.

------
jason_slack
Honestly and with all due respect, show the CEO you are the manager he asked
you to be. Tell him, exactly what you wrote here in this post. One by one and
let him hear the words and answer you back.

If you can't meet the imposed date you need to be upfront and ASAP. Don't let
missing the ship date ruin your reputation.

Your wife and kids will be fine if you need to find other work. If I were in
your shoes and the face to face didn't go well I would start looking. By not
going well I mean the CEO doesn't see your concerns as issues.

~~~
potta_coffee
Thanks for the advice. Regarding the imposed date, every single time it comes
up, I push back, saying "I have not, and cannot, make a promise that we can
deliver by that date." The fact that the date keeps resurfacing in our
conversations tells me this person isn't listening.

~~~
sjs382
"I have not, and cannot, make a promise that we can deliver by that date."

You might mean that as "I've been given 6 months. I expect to need 12 months
if everything goes perfectly and there are no surprises. With surprises, 15-18
months seems realistic." but you haven't communicated that.

It's likely that the CEO is hearing "I can't guarantee six months... We'll be
cutting it close." and s/he is keeping the bullseye at 6 months and expecting
it to take seven. Or maybe s/he thinks that they can rein the scope back in
(if necessary) with a month remaining and hit the deadline.

Be _explicit_ with your concerns.

~~~
potta_coffee
Thank you.

