
A Solution for Loneliness: Get out and volunteer, research suggests - headalgorithm
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/a-solution-for-loneliness/
======
mbubb
I've volunteered with a local ambulance corps for the past 2-3 years. I've
driven and more recently became an EMT. It's worthwhile. We sign for at least
4 shifts a month. There is a fair amount of training and retraining to keep
the cert active. Some shifts are distressing and it is a bit hard to
compartmentalize...

I am glad to have it though. I have contact with a whole different world than
my NYC tech job and have a different relationship to my city than I would
otherwise. The EMTs (and trainees) are younger, different racial and socio-
economic backgrounds. Not uncommon for me to be on a shift with a crew chief
who is 20 years younger and different race and or gender. And it be a person I
trust and respect.

As for the work itself - it can be harrowing and you second guess almost
everything and try to figure it out better. While trying to help the
patient(s) you have to manage radio contact while filling out a chart which
you are constantly reminded would be the basis for legal discovery if needed.
Our Corps does about 6k calls a year out of one location with 3 ambulances.
And you get all the variety you expect in a city.

I question it sometimes. This volunteering eats into my work life and family
life. Occasionally dream about it or think about it. To the point of the post
- it does connect me to community in a different and meaningful way. There are
other ways to achieve the same thing probably - just adding my experience.

~~~
theNJR
Similar but far less impact; I did the Community Emergency Response Training
(CERT). It was a great experience. I met tons of locals, learned important
skills, and learned a lot about myself and leadership. It was a handful of all
day Saturday classes and I cant recommend it enough. It gave me a bit of an
itch to get EMT certified, so your account was interesting to read.

My dad has been a volunteer sherif for decades (because of his background he
does a lot of the local hostage negotiation) and I know how much he got out of
that.

~~~
mbubb
I started with CERT (actually a few weeks before Hurricane Sandy) and as part
of that got an EMR cert. That led me to the Volunteer Ambulance Corps I am at
now. See if your CERT org has the EMR - good luck!

~~~
theNJR
EMR sounds awesome, thank you!

------
rayalez
My solution for loneliness - online DnD.

I live in a place where it's very hard to find like-minded people in real
life. That plus health issues and social anxiety resulted in me being quite
alone for awhile. I'm very introverted so I wasn't unhappy, but still thought
that it would be nice to have a group of good buddies to hang out with.

Then I have learned that you can play DnD over discord/roll20, and my god this
is so great! A lot of incredibly smart and amazing people, welcoming and
friendly community, so much fun! I highly recommend it to everyone!

~~~
tarruda
As someone who played pen and paper DnD as a kid, and a lot of computer
(baldurs gate, fallout, nwn and many others), I'm curious about this.

Do you have any resources to get started?

~~~
rayalez
Most games are played via discord voice chat, often roll20 is used for rolling
dice, managing character sheets, and moving tokens over the map. Create
discord/roll20 accounts, come up with a character, make a character sheet.

You can find people to play with on /r/lfg subreddit. If you're not ready to
commit to a long-term campaign, I recommend looking for one-shots(one-time
games lasting 3-5 hours). Try things out, play a couple of games, get to know
a few people.

Also, there are a lot of discord servers where people hang out and play
together:

[https://disboard.org/search?keyword=dnd&sort=-member_count](https://disboard.org/search?keyword=dnd&sort=-member_count)

They often have channels where they announce games, free for anyone to join.
My favorite server is:

[https://discord.gg/vPFH5sQ](https://discord.gg/vPFH5sQ)

There are a lot of games in there, and people are very friendly and willing to
help. Just come over, ask questions. Don't be afraid to just join one of the
games and start playing - nobody expects you to know all the rules when you
get started, DM and other players will help you out, you will learn as you go.

Quality of games can sometimes be uneven(depending on DM/player skills). I was
lucky that my first few games turned out to be amazing, but occassionaly it
can get a bit slow/boring. If that happens - don't give up, just give it
another shot, it's worth it. Gradually you'll meet and get to know people you
like playing with.

Quick tutorial on playing games on that server:

[https://youtube.com/watch?v=euClihK7GhI](https://youtube.com/watch?v=euClihK7GhI)

You can also find a group to start a campaign with right away. Post on /r/lfg
and say you're looking for a DM and players, or find a post made by a DM and
apply as a player. The biggest challenge here is scheduling - people live in
different timezones, and sometimes groups fall apart because people have
trouble making it on time. Your group needs to decide on a specific time you
can play every week, and stick to it. Some people have trouble with this, but
it's easier than it seems, if the first time doesn't work out - just try
again. I was lucky to find 3 amazing groups with awesome players right away.

~~~
tarruda
I will certainly give it a shot on weekend, thanks for the detailed pointers!

------
40acres
Religion has the benefit of being a massive (1B+ for the major ones), well
established institution for bringing people together, the recurring nature of
meet-ups for church and / or prayer help to establish routine. What I've found
is that for those who are not religious, the hardest part about building a
social structure from scratch is establishing some routine.

I moved from Boston to Portland a few years ago and didn't know anyone. I
tried everything from Meetups (solid if you're looking for friends of the
opposite sex and people your age -- especially if you're a millennial / gen
X), volunteering (great for meeting a wide variety of people but can be
difficult to come across the same people over and over unless you share a
common bond, like work) and sports (best for last minute get together, but
sometimes to schedule can be too rigid if you don't dedicate yourself).

They all have their benefits, and you'll never enjoy every type of person you
meet in a certain community. The key above all is getting together with people
you like on a semi-regular basis. Even twice a month on a long enough
timescale is enough to establish a strong tie.

~~~
asdfman123
A fun thing to try is improv comedy. It exists in practically every large
metropolis and all you need is the ability to be brave and potentially
embarrass yourself. Everyone is trying something new and risky, and it doesn't
matter if you don't think you know how to act.

It was a great community for me, and you see the same people every week for
years.

~~~
mikeg8
Thanks for that suggestion. I’ve been kind of wanting to try this for a while
and really need to see what groups are available to me, locally.

~~~
asdfman123
My advice is to not overthink it - just sign up for a class and take the
plunge. It's a lot of fun.

------
agumonkey
In France some test is going on to turn long term joblesness into proactive
social life. They made a dummy company (one per city) that will hire everyone
and pay them up to 21k euros per year to do things (what kind I don't know,
probably small services and tasks). TV News was saying that it had suprisingly
large success so far.

~~~
orky56
It's interesting to think about this in terms of UBI (universal basic income).
This test is the opposite in some ways since it's providing the utility as the
motivation rather than the income directly. The premise of UBI is that the
income is provided such that the individuals would aim to benefit society on
their own terms and find utility that way.

~~~
agumonkey
I am of the kind to fit UBI well. Give me a hangar and a bit of money to pay
food and some tools and I'd fix the city. I'm sure some wouldn't use money for
interesting things. The zero joblesness project is indeed an interesting
approach.

~~~
orky56
As an HN user, you would make more money with your current skill set in the
current job market. With that in mind, your net value to society through said
job would be higher than the value you would provide fixing the city with that
UBI money. Before going to extreme UBI scenarios, it would be interesting to
have private enterprises tackle projects that effect the public with public
funds that are earmarked to go directly to actual individuals at those
enterprises (versus retaining profit) or individuals in that locale.

~~~
UnFleshedOne
I don't know, he could also work in ad tech and have a net negative impact on
society. In that case just paying him to do nothing would be better. :)

~~~
agumonkey
That's mostly my concern, I tried finding IT related jobs for really useful
things (anticrime, education) but failed. Most interviews I ended up going to
were of basic recruiter kind and no social value IMO.

------
bigredhdl
I'm really surprised by how negative the comments are on this one. I mentor a
young man once a week and it has been a huge positive influence on me and my
mental health. It really helps me be more "others centered".

~~~
alexanderlabrie
It's a sign of how people are on the Internet. I did more than 1000 hours of
volunteering in high school and it's made me who I am today. Now I run a
startup that uses AI to automatically create real-world social events between
friends: research shows the best solution to loneliness is seeing people in
person more often and volunteering is certainly one of the best ways.

~~~
isseu
Sounds interesting, name?

~~~
woofcat
[https://www.sphere.com.ai/](https://www.sphere.com.ai/) from his profile.

------
Fradow
Lots of stories here, here is mine: I started volunteering at my local non-
profit bar/pub/coffeeshop 6 months ago (runned by volunteers only, there is no
employee). It has done wonder to my social life: I spent the previous 3 years
in this particular city without making any friend there outside of work. Since
I started, I made a lot of acquaintances, a few of them I might consider as
friends later down the line.

This place is really great in that you don't need a specific time investment:
just sign up for a 3 hours shift when you feel like it. If you really like it,
you can invest yourself more. Or just go there whenever you feel like it to
talk to friendly people, without to have to find friends in advance (I
wouldn't go in most pubs alone: most are designed so that you come with your
friends and stay with them without talking to other group of people).

This has been my particular story, but I'd advise anyone with too much free
time and not enough people to spend it with to volunteer to something,
anything, that match with your values. It really is life-changing.

Just don't go too deep too fast: you can definitely burn out with volunteer
work as well. That's one thing several persons at my non-profit specifically
warned me against, in non-equivocal words, as it happened to others before.

~~~
hnarn
> my local non-profit bar/pub/coffeeshop

I guess step 1 is founding a local, non-profit bar/pub/coffeeshop then :-)

~~~
Fradow
I'm not a native English speaker, I don't know the proper translation (we just
say a "bar" in French, even though coffee is as important as alcohol).

But as I noted, any non-profit that align with your values is good.

~~~
hnarn
I'm not either but I think your phrasing made sense, because bars look
different in different parts of the world, and so does coffee shops, so it
makes sense to underline that it's all of the above.

------
2819b
It's frustrating in SF where it seems like the only night time social
activities are drinking-related and very few businesses outside of bars/clubs
are open past 8pm or so.

One thing I love about going to Asia is the vibrant night time activities that
of course includes bars but also night markets and late shopping that is as
much for families as it is for bar goers.

~~~
OkGoDoIt
Several years ago in San Francisco I started volunteering at a nonprofit
theater, doing ticket checkin, will call, ushering, and things like that.
Since then it’s grown into a much larger part of my life, and I travel all
over the West Coast stage managing for cabarets, circuses, magic shows, and
stuff. It’s still all volunteer, mostly low budget local artists who can’t
afford to hire high-end professionals. But it’s been amazing, completely
revolutionized life in San Francisco for me. Frankly it’s the main reason I
haven’t left the city, as I’m kind of burned out on all the tech stuff here.
But my circus friends are awesome. If you or anyone else wants to see an
entirely different side of San Francisco and make some new friends in the arts
community, ping me. Contact info is in my profile.

------
peter303
Some of the loneliest people are the elderly who have lost their mobility and
cannot get around easily. This often happens in your 80s.

~~~
Wump
I volunteered for home hospice, and met with a 94-year old man for a year. As
he would say, "my body is shot, but my mind is sharp" \-- and was it ever.

What an amazing story he has -- decorated WW2 veteran (he had so many stories
to tell about the war), worked in construction for 40+ years, now has an
extended family (children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren) that is 100+
strong.

At some point, hospice said that he was doing better so they were cancelling
their support. I still wanting to see him so I kept going. He wasn't expected
that though, and the next week when I showed up he was so appreciative he was
in tears.

You never know how your presence can affect someone.

~~~
orky56
Unfortunately my hospice volunteering sent me further into depression, perhaps
even an existential crisis. I knew the impact of hospice and that was enough
reason to put myself in the situation where maybe I could help.

The patient I was working with had a stroke. He was paralyzed, completely
bedridden, and unable to speak. Despite his ailments, he was able to hear &
see properly and thus able to understand me. I would read him books and
magazines. Deep down I knew he understood & enjoyed it but the lack of
feedback of any kind was frustrating despite knowing his situation was far
worse.

After months of volunteering, the following day I go in and his bed is empty.
As I left, my soul felt emptier than that bed. Is this what my future could
entail? Those types of thoughts ate away at me. It was bad enough for me to
consider them but far worse to view my own thoughts void of morality and so
focused on my self.

I wish I could tell myself I'm in a better position today. For today at least,
I'll try.

~~~
Broken_Hippo
Your are not alone in your experience. This causes people working in nursing
homes to quit: the death is difficult to deal with, especially if you are
working in a capacity to get to know folks.

It is difficult knowing folks as they die. Really difficult, and your
aftereffects are quite normal.

If it keeps eating away at you, there is help available - from people trained
to help people through this exact situation. Please consider getting help if
it seems too much at any time.

------
ImaCake
Volunteering strikes me as one of those "if it were a pill, everyone would be
using it". In the same way that exercise is basically all benefits once you
get past the risk of injury.

From a community's point of view, volunteers directly benefit the community by
planting trees or running soup kitchens. They also strengthen the social
network of the community. Finally they improve the health outcomes of the
volunteer, reducing the healthcare burden on the community! The only downside
I can think of is the potential loss of legitimate work for the unemployed.

My old role in science outreach involved a lot of help from local Rotary
Clubs. They were mostly older people. They were enthusiastic, effective,
happy, and full of the kind of amazing stories and wisdom you can only get
from living a long and interesting life. I came out of that job convinced that
volunteering is effective.

~~~
dehrmann
The only thing with volunteering is most organizations really want someone
dedicated who will show up regularly, not just once every other month
(training those people is more trouble than it's worth). My grandma volunteers
a lot, and this is a frequent complaint of hers.

I volunteered with something my workplace set up once. It was ok, but they
never even booked a second session. We were tutoring underprivileged kids, so
it's a little depressing knowing we're just someone else who didn't really
support them.

------
jerkstate
I think that volunteering can help with a lot more than just loneliness,
including bridging gaps between different ideologies. I spent some time
working for an urban tree planting group in my city. As you would expect a lot
of the folks involved were green thumb forest ranger types, but a lot of them
were not. A couple of the older Sierra club guys openly discussed issues with
the modern global economy and its impact on the environment, stuff that might
get you banned from Twitter these days. The machine shop guys who repaired our
tree stakes were pretty "red state" but they liked those Sierra club old guys,
and they also liked trees. I also remember talking to a young energy industry
employee who knew a lot about green energy initiatives (and why they were
taking so long to ramp up), and of course dyed in the wool vegans and forest
ranger folks. But the fact that everyone was giving up their Saturdays
together for a common goal gave everyone a little extra liberty to express
their opinions and experiences, and of course the civility of face to face
conversation helps bridge lots of gaps too.

------
nlawalker
I know someone who has considered looking to volunteerism to combat
loneliness. In all the places they've looked, what has put them off of it in
every case is the up-front commitment required - a certain set of hours in a
day and days in a week, for a minimum number of weeks. This is understandable
- volunteer-driven efforts need reliable people just like anything else does -
but it makes it hard to dip your toe in.

~~~
veddox
> volunteer-driven efforts need reliable people just like anything else does

Amen to that! One of the greatest challenges facing volunteer organisations
these days is the supreme difficulty of getting people (especially millenials)
to commit to regular and extended involvement. I'm in the national leadership
of my organisation, and I hear the same stories from virtually all our groups,
as well as from other organisations.

Of course, there needs to be space for people to just try themselves out at
first (we certainly have that). But at some point, you've got to be willing to
commit...

------
jcims
Folks can say what they want about religion, but I have a feeling that church
plays a larger role in maintaining a healthy society than it is given credit
in some circles.

~~~
sametmax
Any communty really. Sport, book or chess clubs too. Theater lessons, shared
houses, gay bars, anything where you can recreate a sense of being part of a
group and not just being among people. The quality of the community matters
though, some are human, some are mechanical. Leaders matter of lot for
creating the right mix.

And work is less and less a good place for that, because of policies,
specialisation, compartimenting, but also because of lack of meaning .

Meaning is a very important component for a group, and religions sell plenty
of it, which make them strong people binders.

A lot of other factors like common values, language, symbolism and stories
reinforce this effect, but you can find that elsewhere, although it is very
natural for spiritual groups to include all of it.

~~~
neap24
I'm not sure that just any community would be a substitute for church. Most
churches are not groups in the sense that you're describing above. Yes, most
congregations share a common theology, but the people in the group are often
very different personalities, ages, backgrounds. Even super conservative less
diverse congregations I know preach unity of the international church, go on
mission trips, etc.

The problem with modern substitutes seems to be that they are extremely narrow
and probably very temporal (Keto diet fanatics, cross-fit buffs, even gay bars
seem to be past their glory days). Much of the unity of the church body comes
from a connection to ancestors and a sense that one is, cultural differences
aside, a part of the same thing.

~~~
slothtrop
For one thing, the social role of a Church seems overstated in my experience,
though that might depend on denomination. After sitting through the sermon and
that business was done, what followed was merely lunch / dinner with extended
family. We never mingled much with others.

Religious families are big on family and I this day and age, they're smaller
than ever. Gone are the days, in my case, of communing for a large family
dinner almost every week. I barely even see my parents.

All of which to say I think our social needs were met in large part by family,
and Church was a convenient vehicle to bring it together. There's no
substitute for family. However, between a plethora of possible social
obligations given our leisure time, I think loneliness can be abated.

~~~
organsnyder
I think it depends a lot on the individual congregation. Our previous church
was terrible socially: everyone stuck to their own in-groups (which often
overlapped with extended family), and there was little mingling outside of
Sunday morning. Our current church, however, is incredibly vibrant: we've made
many close friends there, and the church community goes out of its way for
each other (such as doing extensive landscaping last week for two members
fighting cancer). Both of these churches are effectively from the same
denomination.

~~~
slothtrop
Sure. I haven't hopped and skipped too many but that's been my experience with
Catholic churches everywhere, a family affair. Mind you, French and Italian
families can be fucking massive which kind of renders the mingling redundant.

------
nostalgk
Volunteering is what got me into this business in the first place. As a youth
that really didn't know where I was going, I volunteered at a community garden
to stay busy, and the person running it was a software engineer. Volunteering
is great if even just to expose one to new points of view, as it attracts all
types.

------
cafard
I do volunteer, and it certainly puts me in contact with others, mostly people
I would not know otherwise. But I suspect that it is possible to be around
other people a fair bit and remain lonely.

------
MarcScott
If this resonates with anyone, than might I suggest you have a look at
volunteering at a CodeClub or a Coder Dojo. Your skills would be greatly
appreciated in our efforts to introduce more children into coding.

[https://coderdojo.com/volunteer](https://coderdojo.com/volunteer)

[https://codeclub.org/en/volunteer](https://codeclub.org/en/volunteer)

(Disclosure - I work for the Raspberry Pi Foundation)

------
johnchristopher
> Another strategy is to volunteer. In a recent survey of over 10,000 people
> in the UK, two-thirds reported that volunteering helped them feel less
> isolated.

I am not digging further. Self-reported.

My experience: I did a sting in volunteering, in a shelter (I worked the day
shift).

First question asked when I applied: "What are you doing here ?".

Second question, from the social worker running the shelter: "What do you
think my role is ?".

It caught me off guard. I thought about it for a while and then said: "You
manage the volunteers as much as the people in need of the shelter ?"

"And it makes up most of your time and takes most of your energy.", I added
when I quit, three months later.

I believe the volunteers are good people but their objectives aren't aligned
with the people who need the shelter. Good things there's a middle ground
where each can meet and fulfill their needs though.

~~~
nprateem
> I am not digging further. Self-reported.

You suggest those people actually felt more isolated despite feeling that they
didn't?

~~~
johnchristopher
Not while volunteering (though some are aware of it).

But I believe they aren't building long lasting relationships that will
outlive their time in volunteering and form a good social structure to rely on
later on.

As soon as they are out of volunteering, most won't see other volunteers
anymore.

Unless they actively worked to nurture that relationship outside of the
volunteering environment, with unrelated activities.

For example, a friend of mine is hardcore into board games. Sure, he has a
good time playing at the club. But seeing people of the club outside of the
club, for different activities (supper, helping with moving furniture, sharing
a conversation, going to a movie or concert, etc.) is how he's building longer
lasting relationships.

~~~
loblollyboy
My thoughts exactly.

------
cdubzzz
My time in the Peace Corps had a profound influence on my social skills/life.
While I would not have said I was necessarily lonely, I was certainly rather
anti-social and had a lot of trouble expressing myself to people.

Aside from the people I met and relationships I made with other volunteers
during my service, I learned through necessity how to be a much more outgoing
and social person. I imagine this had a lot to do with where I served
(culturally, people were much more community oriented than here in the U.S.)
but even the first few months spending time training with the other volunteers
in country was hugely influential.

Peace Corps is pretty unique compared to more typical volunteer opportunities,
but I suspect one could get a similar effect from _sustained_ volunteering
with a particular org/group.

------
burnt1ce
No way! I totally vehemently disagree. Joining a sports team is ultimately a
better solution. I have done both and here's a list why joining a sports team
is better.

1\. You'll experience pain and success as a team that strengthens the
relationship with everyone

2\. Politics may occur (eg:who gets benched and who gets the play when it
counts the most). This will be a test of character and integrity which is
vital for any future meaningful relationship. These are the types of
relationships that you keep/survive when you stop playing the sport or when
you've moved on to another team.

3\. You'll workout and get some exercise. It's good for your health (duh)

4\. You're most likely to be in a team where everyone is committed to seeing
each other on a regular schedule until the season ends. Unlike volunteering,
you may never see a person again after you have met them.

5\. After a hard practice/game, you'll most likely go out for food/drinks.
It'll be an opportunity for people to express themselves outside of the game.

6\. You'll eventually find out who lives where and figure out a way to carpool
to practice/games and back home. I have developed very meaningful
relationships while carpooling. Conversations get deeper and more honest when
you're have a 1-to-1 conversation.

 _Updated - fixed spelling /grammar_

~~~
eindiran
The article isn't called "Volunteering: Literally The Only Solution to
Loneliness". It's _a_ solution to loneliness, and one that happens to have
positive externalities that accompany it. You can think that sports are a good
way to combat loneliness without vehemently disagreeing that volunteering is a
solution as well.

~~~
clairity
yup, burnt1ce's argument is both puzzling and overstated, even as i appreciate
their zeal for sports.

loneliness has many antidotes, not just having/making friends. just
interacting with other people can stem loneliness.

i both volunteer and play sports (basketball) and while some benefits overlap,
i do each for principally different benefits.

basketball provides both regular exercise (that i like and do willingly) and
an outlet to be competitive (and even aggressive).

volunteering provides an opportunity to learn something new and give to
others.

that both reduce loneliness is icing on the cake.

~~~
burnt1ce
Which argument do you think is most puzzling and overstated? I'm just trying
to understand this from your point of view.

~~~
macintux
Your first line is completely unwarranted.

Sports was better for you, at least for the sports you chose and the
volunteering opportunities you chose. That’s fine.

To apply your anecdata to the rest of the world and shout the following is
what’s troubling.

> No way! I totally vehemently disagree.

~~~
burnt1ce
Maybe my choice of words were strong but I do have strong opinions supported
with arguments and many years of experience

~~~
macintux
Your experience is that volunteering doesn’t help with loneliness? That’s all
the article says, ultimately.

------
jpollock
I've found that in the Bay Area, there are so many people who aren't allowed
to work that it can be very, very hard to volunteer - the supply of volunteers
exceeds demand.

~~~
BurningFrog
Sounds like a startup opportunity!

------
sealthedeal
TBH, I have always been heavily involved in organized sports. I have friends
ask all the time how they can meet more people, etc. I always refer them to a
recreational sand volleyball league or something like that. Never thought
about volunteering as an option until now. Super cool!

------
esotericn
The article seems to talk about lack of socialization, which is distinct from
loneliness.

A person can go to work every day, have a circle of colleagues, go to regular
clubs, have a family, and still feel lonely if they don't feel a meaningful
connection with others.

------
metalliqaz
Extroverts just don't understand introverts, and they think they can "fix" us.

~~~
Wohlf
I'm an introvert too, and I know many people who are as well. The need for
human interaction, love, and belonging still exist.

~~~
grenoire
I don't think that's what the GP meant. More like, volunteering is not the
_cure_ for introverts' loneliness.

------
Apocryphon
How was technology touted as a solution to this, and how has it performed?

The internet has allowed international social structures to exist. Hobbyist
groups to political factions span seas thanks to global telecommunications.
Some seemingly resemble each other. Yet depersonalized, anonymized social
groupings seem to also cause isolation. So has tech been generally good or bad
for loneliness?

------
gravypod
If you are seriously feeling lonely another approach might be therapy. There
are many things that can manifest as a collection of feelings that might be
descried as "loneliness" and a therapist can help you get to the bottom of it.
It's worked wonders for many people I have known since high school.

I know that I subjectively feel lonely despite being objectively not alone.
Your situation might be similar. Maybe your loneliness can be fixed by
volunteering. Maybe it can be fixed by spending a session or to each week with
someone who has devoted a significant portion of their time to helping people
with problems like yours. They might even suggest volunteering if it will work
for you, or they might refer you to a psychologist who can help you if they
think that will benefit you the most.

I'm not disagreeing with the article, it's probably correct that being in
close proximity to people makes some people feel less lonely, but if you try
this and it doesn't help don't think there isn't a solution.

~~~
eswat
Definitely. Depending on how serious one's issues are, volunteering could be a
shortcut remedy for loneliness and the need for therapy could be reduced. But
if doesn’t work then therapy could help with underlying issues (my therapist
suggested volunteering to me).

------
pretty_dumm_guy
I have been wondering for the past few days how quintessential contact with
other humans is to lead a healthy life. Answers to my questions often point to
having more human contact. However, I am still having trouble finding a lower
and upper bound on this. I wish someday I could find a solution to this.

------
dgzl
I was a boy scout for several years growing up and we did lots of community
service. Even though the troop was half-full of miscreants, everyone was happy
to participate because we enjoyed our time together.

------
VonGuard
Looking for somewhere to volunteer in the Bay Area?

The Computer History Museum The Exploratorium The Museum of Art and Digital
Entertainment The Crucible

And those are just the ones where you can play with fire or old computers!

------
edisonjoao
Or just go and download this app [http://foxie.cool](http://foxie.cool) and
start connecting with the world around you through activities and 1-1 (in a
non dating way)

------
7402
One organization I considered volunteering for had a volunteer form that
demanded that I

"defend, indemnify, and hold the Released Parties harmless from and against
any and all loss, damages, claims, expenses and attorney’s fees that may be
suffered by any Released Party resulting directly or indirectly from my
volunteer activities, ... except and only to the extent the liability is
caused by the gross negligence or willful misconduct of the relevant Released
Party."

To hell with that.

On the other hand, a different organization (that I _did_ work with) valued
their volunteers enough that they stated that if a volunteer were to be
injured while there, they would be covered by the organization's workers' comp
insurance!

I'd still like to volunteer for an organization, but only someplace where it's
clearly for the organization's benefit as well as my own.

------
fluxrider
In Ontario, volunteering at public institutions (e.g. library, election) is as
hard as getting a job, unless you are a felon forced into community service.
You can count yourself lucky if you ever get to the interview step.

------
winrid
I agree. Also volunteer at stage rallies! We always need volunteers and the
community is full of great people.

[http://californiarallyseries.com/](http://californiarallyseries.com/)

------
snyp
Does it specifically have to be volunteering or can social activities also
help? Something like dance classes or playing team sports?

------
kumarski
There's no good online or mobile app for volunteering.

I figured there'd be a chatbot and an sms system at the very least.

ARGHHHH.....

~~~
smacktoward
VolunteerMatch
([https://www.volunteermatch.org/](https://www.volunteermatch.org/)) has
worked well for me in the past.

------
niuzeta
The important question is how does one find opportunity to volunteer? Google
it?

~~~
technofiend
Honestly if you work for a large company, you might start with your HR
department. Corporations have a way for you to donate your time to volunteer
as a tax benefit for them since they pay your salary while you volunteer. I
regularly get e-mails from my HR department with opportunities based on search
criteria I set.

Outside of that what interests you? It might be easier to find an opportunity
to help people with something you already have as a hobby.

------
jaimex2
My solution for loneliness: Start a family.

------
thepra
Only for people that suffer from it.

------
jokoon
Army reserves also take volunteers.

------
Skunkleton
TL;DR: Are you lonely? Have you tried doing things with people?

~~~
mjevans
It also has to be the right other people. When someone says they're lonely,
what I hear is a lack of connection to peers and others like them. I'm not
sure how generic volunteering would help with that.

~~~
gnulinux
Not disagreeing but I have a little different experience. I volunteered in a
radio program for about 5 years, it was about children's rights (not in the
US) and every week we discussed a children rights violation in this country,
go there, listen to the children's voices and discuss the issue with them. My
co-volunteers were really great people. But somehow I never not felt not-
lonely. Even though we were working for the same goal and we were socializing
just fine, they didn't feel like the right people.

The most I ever felt non-lonely is back in college struggling through very
challenging problem sets with my study group. It definitely felt like a have a
"friend group" who shared something very important with me, and I miss those
days a lot. Even to this day, when I'm given a hard task at work, I like
solving it with my coworkers.

------
kingkawn
TLDR; The solution for loneliness is doing things with people.

------
sridca
Why not eliminate loneliness itself instead of trying to apply a band-aid over
it? Are you all afraid of what might happen?

------
simonsays2
Dont work for free. You are taking away a paying job from someone and lining
the pockets of the unscrupulous.

~~~
macintux
Yes, those awful over-funded elementary schools and public radio stations and
domestic violence shelters are just being greedy.

------
temp99990
AI based religions will be the next multi-bil institutions in less than a
decade

~~~
gph
AI based teledildonics will be the next multi-tril institutions in less than a
decade.

------
Noos
Well yeah, if you work an unpaid job on top of your paid job, you won't have
time to feel lonely. Not sure you'd like to deal with crazy Steve who rants at
you while you feed him whatever day old bread you managed to beg from the
local grocer, and clean up the food shelter's toilet after some homeless guy
trashed it.

As for religion..eh, you have to believe in it for it to work. You can't just
make secular church, because there is no secular commandment to love one
another, just to not hurt one another. You can get into scenes where there are
philosophical ideas enough to ground that kind of community, but you quickly
find they are worse nuts than the religious people if not harmful.

~~~
hn_throwaway_99
Wow, if that's your view of volunteerism, I have nothing but honest pity.

