

do not. I am just letting it out. - rokhayakebe

O boy. I am not writing for anyone to enjoy or even read this. But this is the only place I am socially active on a daily basis. I kinda feel secure here. Last Tuesday I lost my job ( well I quit, but I did not like it and they were treating me poorly). Wednesday I lost my car. It stopped in the middle of the  freeway. I managed to take it home after 3 hours ( the normal ride is about 5 minutes top ). Thursday I lost my phone. If you are addicted to mobile IM and push email, then loosing your phone is like loosing your ability to breath and now you must live with a tube stuck in your throat. Friday I lost my girlfriend. O boy. Now that one hurt. Can you imagine seeing someone leave you when you need them the most. My girlfriend knows me more about me than anyone outside my family. I thought she was sweet. I never thought she really loved me, but we had this rule of "no lie" that made it all smooth. She lied to me. Big time. And to make matters worst, I found she did for a long time. O boy. I am not even mad, but I am hurt and unpleasantly surprised. Saturday and Sunday were tough, but I managed. Today, I found out more lies from her. O boy. And today, the one person I called my best friend let me down. I called him and say I needed his help. O boy. "Hang on" he told me, "You will do fine". 
O boy. I keep wishing that I will wake up soon. I wished this is a dream. Somebody wake me up please before it is too late. Wake me up.
======
mattmaroon
I don't say this to be mean, though I'm not sure I can phrase it in such a way
that it doesn't sound so, but I don't see any bad luck in the story above,
other than maybe timing. It appears to be the results of a bunch of bad
decisions unfortunately reaching their boiling point all at once.

It's important in times like these to take stock of all of the decisions
leading up to this crisis. It sounds like you made a lot of mistakes, as we
all do. Learn from them and you'll be the better for it, and in time you'll
view this as all as one big opportunity.

You didn't lose your job, you quit, so that may or may not have been a mistake
(in fact, it may have been a mistake not to do it sooner) but either way it
certainly wasn't bad luck. What it will turn out to be depends on what you
make of the opportunity. Get another job you hate and it was a mistake, find
one you enjoy and it will turn out to be one of the best things you ever did.
You have the choice there.

Cars almost never die completely with no prior warning. I certainly don't know
the situation well enough to be sure, but I'd be willing to bet you ignored
some serious signs. That's a mistake I've certainly made and learned from.

Losing a phone is usually due to carelessness. We've all done something like
it. That one's essentially valueless as a life lesson, you already knew it was
bad, and there's only so much you as a human can do to prevent such things
from recurring.

The relationships are the tough ones. It sounds like in the case of the girl
you trusted someone's words rather than their actions because it was the path
of least resistance. That's always a mistake. Yet another we've all made.

Just like a car, relationships never die without plenty of warning. There's a
good chance you saw the signs and willfully ignored them. Learn from that.

The only thing left to do now is learn from each mistake and turn all of these
annoyances into opportunities.

~~~
whacked_new
Pure eloquence. Tip my hat.

------
nickb
Job.... you did the right thing. Waking up every morning and not being able to
look at yourself in the mirror and dreading going to work is not a way to
live. Life's so damn short! You need to follow your dreams.

Car.... it can be replaced.

Phone... well, now you will not be as distracted as much and you can start
working on the future.

Girlfriend... well, you found out on time. Imagine if you were married and had
kids? What a mess that would be!

Let us know how it goes but best of luck to you... things are not as dark as
you think! At least you're healthy! That's absolutely the most important
thing.

~~~
blored
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." -
Tyler Durden, _Fight Club_

------
Goladus
What are you going to do next? There are plenty of good answers, just pick one
and go with it.

This sounds similar to what happened to me in April. I have a few suggestions:

Get physical exercise.

Get sleep. Meditation/yoga might help. Avoid alcohol until you get things
straightened out. Avoid caffeine if you aren't addicted already.

Find cheap, healthy food to eat.

Change your environment. Move, or at least rearrange your house or apartment.
You almost certainly have unresolved problems related to your girlfriend and
your old job, and it's a waste of time to dwell on them. It's really hard to
let go of those if your habits and routines don't change as well. Once you're
back on your feet, you'll have plenty of time to decide what problems are
worth going back to face.

Spend time around people, even if it's just walking through the supermarket.

If you absolutely have to rant, write it down and tuck it away somewhere for
at least 3 months. Don't send out anything you might regret later.

------
SwellJoe
Nobody died. It was a good day.

Sorry if this sounds trite, but I'm being sincere. You're alive. You didn't
lose, I mean really lose, anyone you love. I read somewhere that numerous
studies indicate that people get happier, on average, the older they get (I'm
apparently not old enough to be happy all the time, but I'm hopeful)...I
suspect it has something to do with a growing understanding of what really
matters.

Jobs don't matter. Girlfriends, that you know don't love you, don't matter.
Phones definitely do not matter. Cars do not matter.

Your health matters. The health of your loved ones matters. That's about it.
Everything else is just scenery.

In short: It looks worse than it is. Get some rest, and when you wake up
tomorrow, it'll look a little better. In a week, you'll wonder what all the
fuss was about. (Yes, I've been without a car, insurance, and a steady job,
with $30k in credit card debt, to boot. Hard times come and go pretty easily
if you're learning from your mistakes.)

------
run4yourlives
I'm not jewish, but I've always thought that this parable is a wonderful for
times like these when you feel the whole world bearing down on you:
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Too_Shall_Pass_>(Phrase)

Hang in there.

~~~
arasakik
That's very uncanny in that it is the exact same phrase that comforts me after
a string of bad luck.

------
gibsonf1
Damn, that is a large quantity of bad luck in a short amount of time... But
don't panic!

I would say getting the lying gf out of your life is definitely a good thing
as painful as it may be now. I had a similar problem with my ex-fiancee.
Sooner is much better than later - life is too short to deal with lying
gfs/friends.

If you didn't like your job, then its good to be out. Focus on what it is you
want out of a job, and go get it.

Get a new phone. Fix your car (if you need it), and then when the dust
settles, you may grab victory out of the jaws of defeat. It has happened to me
several times when things seemed impossibly bad. The key: you are still
standing to fight another day. Never give up.

~~~
rokhayakebe
Thank you Gibsonf. Sometimes it feels better to tell your problems to people
who do not know you and can be frank with you. I appreciate all the advices.

------
whacked_new
You got enough good-wishers/friends here but I'll be an asshole.

If you want to lead some company, you don't rant. You simply _can't_. I recall
a submarine captain from some movie who, when asked "what if you don't know
the answer," he replies, "you can't not know the answer."

You cannot falter. Even in the worst of worst circumstances, when you feel
like the whole world is against you and you face your demise, you cannot show
weakness of character. Soldiers ask the commander when shit happens, but the
commander has nobody to ask. If you're a commander, loneliness is not of the
least of worries you will face. Depending on someone else for emotional
support, in my opinion, is a luxury with great risk.

You're a guy paddling a boat in the middle of the pacific. When you hit a
storm, you don't look for people who tell you, "I'm waiting on the island of
success for you." You look for people who can sit in the damn boat and
actually row with you, or throw you a rope or even fix you a motor. At times
of stress, "sweet"ness means absolutely nothing.

If you are a leader, you share your personal pains only with those who would
risk their lives for you. And you only know they would, when they do.

This is merely a turning point in life. The sooner you get out of it, the
stronger you'll be. So get out now, and make the next decision.

I spent too much time writing this... hope it actually benefits you.

~~~
bootload
_"... You got enough good-wishers/friends here but I'll be an asshole. ..."_

what I think whacked means is he's not going to _"sugar coat things"_ but tell
it to you straight. Warts and all :)

 _"... And today, the one person I called my best friend let me down. I called
him and say I needed his help. O boy. "Hang on" he told me, "You will do
fine". O boy. ..."_

And like whacked I'll add some words. Read this article. _"Advice to Young Men
from an Old Man"_. I know you can't teach wisdom but I offer the link anyway.
It starts off ... _"1. Don't pick on the weak. It's immoral. Don't antagonize
the strong without cause, its stupid"_ ~
<http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/279126743.html>

------
danielha
Rest assured, nearly everyone has had a string of incredible bad luck that
seemingly conspires and culminates together. I know I have had this. Just know
that you move on to greater things and the less time you spend on all this
bad, the earlier the greater things come.

------
andyn
Hi there,

Sorry to hear about all this you're going through at the moment. We've all had
things like this happen at some point but you've really had it all piled on at
once.

Can I say congrats on quitting your job? I had a job that burnt me out, got me
down and probably caused my last breakup - I wish I'd had the courage to leave
instead of hanging around and not doing anything about it. Good luck in
finding a new job - the difference will be like night and day when you find
somewhere good to work. I promise you. Maybe you can then afford a better car,
phone and maybe a new GF ... better than the previous models?

Also move on from your ex. As in: don't try and contact her again or read her
blog/facebook or (try not to) leave drunken voicemail messages. She obviously
didn't give a crap and you'll only just drag out making it harder to get back
to normal. Any sort of "let's just be friends" is just to make herself feel
better about doing this to you.

As many posts here say - go out, don't sit about at home feeling sorry for
yourself. Not that you're not entitled to, but it just won't do you any good.

Take care of yourself and sort out what needs sorting out. Don't forget to eat
... and breath.

I wish you the best of luck and hope things work out for you. I bet they will.

------
pepeto
Can I tell you something? \- Losing your job where they treat you badly. Don't
know if there's anything better to happen. It's a wake up call and it means
you are on the way of finding something much better. \- Losing car is not like
crashing with it. Stopping on a freeway is not as bad as other things. \- Lost
phone. Every now and then you really need that to realize how hooked up you
are and in what constant stress you are. It's time to think about it for a
minute and get a new phone. \- Lost girlfriend. It does feel bad at the
moment, but if you think about how much you care about your previous
girlfriend, you'll realize how much you won't care about this one after a
while. Besides, don't you feel free now? \- When a friend is telling you
"sorry, can't help" it can only mean one thing - be grateful you actually
realized the true relationship. This opened your eyes, which is good and you
will know the be careful with this person. \- Wake up? All of those were wake
up calls. And all that happened was for good, so cheer up bro and get a drink
with some friends

------
alex_c
Hang in there. You're the same person you were a week ago. It hurts to find
out that someone close to you isn't who you thought they are... but you're
still yourself. Hang on to that and you WILL do fine.

------
andreyf
Sorry to hear about the girlfriend. We all know how much that stuff hurts...

Everything else doesn't seem so bad.

------
palish
Listen.. Stuff like this tends to come in waves. You'll get a huge influx of
shit, but more often than not you'll get a long period of awesomeness
afterwards. Sometimes it takes awhile to show up.

You'll be stronger for this whole experience. Just devote yourself to what you
like.

------
huherto
Sorry for the lost of your girlfriend. I can only quote Joaquin Sabina.

"...Y una manana comprendi, que a veces gana el que pierde a una mujer"

"...and one morning I understood that sometimes you win when you loose a
woman"

------
steve
Of course they lie, why do you think they're called _girlfriends_ :)

------
prakash
Not to compare your recent few days to a study in probability, but these are
all independent events that didn't go the way you wanted...

Good luck!

------
Mistone
won't bore you with blessing in disguise saying, someone said it to me today
and all I could say was, "do blessings ever come as they are, all I seem to
get are these so called blessing in disguise."

job, phone, car are easily replaced possessions.

Lying girlfriends may be amusing for a while but get old quick.

So if your here, you must want to do a startup. Here is your chance!

------
mynameishere
I'm strongly urged to one-up you (because I could, believe me) but what's the
point? You're either going to A) Buck up, or B) Get some Xanax. That's about
it.

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo>

------
trekker7
Cheer up, tough it out man... I'm sure things will look up soon.

------
Tichy
breathe in, breathe out...

~~~
rokhayakebe
it still hurts, but Thank you

~~~
Tichy
Perhaps you might like today's article by Steve Pavlina, "The Joy Of Sadness":
<http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2007/08/the-joy-of-sadness/>

