
Ask HN: What would you tell your 16-year-old self? - ejsaz
Hi. I turn 16 this month.<p>I&#x27;m not any kind of wünderkind, young entrepreneur, anything like that. I know a few programming languages (but I&#x27;m not sure if I know how to program yet, if you know what I mean). There are a lot of questions that one has to ask themselves when they&#x27;re at this age about their future: where they&#x27;re going to go for university&#x2F;college, what to do after education, things like that. I&#x27;m currently uncertain of any of the answers. After reading HN for a while, I&#x27;ve become interested in startups and startup culture, though I&#x27;m unsure if I want to be an entrepreneur myself, or if I do, what kind.<p>Being uncertain, it helps if someone who&#x27;s been through it all could offer even the fewest words of wisdom. Since I find some similarities between myself and the people in the community that I observe here, I figured that I could get something out of answers to the question: if you had a conversation with your 16-year-old self, what&#x27;d you say?
======
kyro
Do not compare yourself to others. Life is not a race. Read as much as you
can. Learn about finances. Find a mentor. Pick one or two hobbies and
seriously pursue them. Your smarts will take you nowhere. Become disciplined.
Stop drinking sugary sodas. Steal money from dad and invest in Apple.

~~~
j45
Have fun building interesting, useful and problem solving things. Do not have
an ego of any problem being too small to solve, you'll have lots of friends in
your 20's one day who talk a lot and don't do much.

Ignore everyone, their standards, and set/pursue your own standards and
curiosities.

You will meet many people older than you that are full of their own doubts,
and think they can't beat their own doubts so they might get you doubting
yourself. Run like hell whenever someone shows this.

Read PG's essay geared to students, it sums up a lot of the great mentoring
advice I got when I was 16 and doing things I had no business doing at that
age:

[http://paulgraham.com/startupideas.html](http://paulgraham.com/startupideas.html)

Ps., the above essay isn't just for any startup ideas, but anything you tinker
around with and pursue.

------
msvan
I'd say don't sweat it. Make sure to not focus too much on computers.
Programming/entrepreneurship is great and interesting, but I know that I spent
a lot of my early teens as a loner in front of my computer screen.

Also, I'd say finish. Whatever it is that you do, finish it. Don't let
abandoning stuff become a habit.

~~~
ejsaz
Thanks. This resonates with me.

------
zalzane
I would be more concerned with my 16 year old self developing their technical
skills and social network rather than thinking about doing a startup, so my
advice reflects that.

-Stay away from python, dynamic typing is a sick joke for anything other than scripts. {controversial}

-Good development tools can increase your productivity by an order of magnitude. I'm looking at you, Resharper.

-You will get banned from world of warcraft for gaming the auction house. This is the best thing that will ever happen to you, so I suggest you expedite it.

-Read "The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed". I swear to god you won't figure this shit out in any other way.

-Try to get into a better uni. While the education quality will be identical, you want to get into a good uni because there's a lot of incompetent people who will judge your talent and skills based on the name of the university on your degree.

edit: If you plan on downmodding this post, be sure to reply as to how you
think it isn't constructive.

~~~
kyro
PUA teaches you to treat women like games. Some will say it's all about giving
you confidence, but it isn't. It's entire purpose is to use a handful of
gambits to fool women for sex. I've read several of those books as I was
briefly interested in that world in undergrad.

Keeping fit, having hobbies, being knowledgeable and aware, being part of an
outgoing social circle, will give you the traits and skills you need to
establish genuine relationships.

Wanting a physical relationship is fine, but wearing a pink fuzzy hat, telling
a girl she's ugly, playing cat and mouse and bullshitting about your Chevy
Camaro is dishonest.

~~~
zalzane
I didn't suggest the book for PUA. When I was 16, I was a socially degenerate
nerd who had no friends and zero romantic prospects. The interactions and
steps that people go through when forming relationships was absolutely alien
to me.

I suggested the mystery method because it answers each of those questions in
extreme detail. It explains what women find attractive in men, it explains the
stages of a relationship, and it explains all things you shouldn't do or say
when you're courting a woman.

The "no friends" part of my social problem was fixed by getting banned from
world of warcraft, which is why I didn't suggest other reading for how to make
friends.

------
mindcrime
I'd tell myself to be a lot more aggressive and to tell anybody who says "good
things come to those who wait" to go fuck themselves. I'd give my 16 year old
self a copy of _The Game_ as well, along with a stack of Ross Jeffries and
David DeAngelo material. I'd tell myself to take the entrepreneurial step a
LOT sooner, and I'd hammer on myself to get serious about investing a lot
sooner.

------
neilk
Here's some meta-advice: most old people are filled with regret, and envy the
young. They don't remember what it's really like to be a teenager. They
probably don't even know what the real foundations of their successes and
failures were. Be _very_ careful following advice.

Instead you should try to find someone worth emulating, in their general
attitude towards life.

~~~
ejsaz
I remember someone writing something along the lines of (I think I read this
from an article I found on HN actually):

When people tell you advice, they tell you some useful bits, but they also
include everything they wished they'd done, and everything that their friends
told them.

Yeah, I'm pretty careful.

~~~
X4
That's very true, you're well prepared. Much better than most teenagers I
know.

------
r0s
Learn about health and cooking, be skeptical of any products sold as
'healthy'. There's a lot of good and bad information out there. Learn as you
go and make slow progress.

Eat real food and learn to cook from raw ingredients. It's the only way to eat
healthy and cheap. Produce is much cheaper if you follow seasonal cycles.
Comparison shop everything, explore your city. Think ramen is cheap? Find your
local asian import store and buy those noodles in bulk; that's cheap.

Don't go on drastic diets or cleanses, you'll just stress your body out.
Eating has a big effect on mood and energy level, pay attention to these
things.

------
dageshi
Be careful with your eyes. If you spend a lot of time at your computer screen,
really figure out good sitting posture, screen distance, screen brightness
e.t.c. When you're young, that stuff doesn't really matter, but bit by bit
over time it can really start to fuck you up and you won't even realise why.

Not the most profound thing I suppose, but your eyesight is really important
so try not to put more strain on them then necessary.

~~~
majc2
Also, be careful with your ears!

------
dictum
There will never be a Big Day when everything in your life will be aligned and
when you'll have all you want and need.

This is both depressing and liberating, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't work
on your plans and have a greater purpose. It means you should enjoy the
moment, and enjoy your current situation even while you work on things for
your future.

------
krmmalik
1\. Read Books. Alot. On life, programming, startups, entrepreneurship,
design, health and finance. 2\. Get a ton of deliberate exercise as much as
you can 3\. Time infront of the computer should be for building or learning,
not playing games or surfing 4\. Try a simple business. Any business 5\.
Travel 6\. Learn a martial art 7\. Swim alot 8\. Watch the top 30 films in the
AFI 100 9\. Go to bed on time every night. 10\. Do an extreme sport

~~~
sept
Speed-reading (applicable to most non-fiction) helps with #1. Yes, it works.
The brain can derive meaning faster than we can speak or mechanically move our
eyes. Basic SR techniques can be picked up in a few days of practice and self-
timing of reading speed. Given increasing advances in mobile sensors, we'll
soon realize the value of optimizing how we use our biological sensors.

~~~
krmmalik
I tried it. I learned speed reading at a pretty young age, so I can do it, but
for now I feel it's not right for me. I'm reading books to contend the points
presented, really understand why the author is saying what they're saying and
understand how that affects my life and what i need to do to change. While i
might able to derive what is being said very quickly, i dont feel i can go
through the whole thought process so fast. I need to take my time with each
chapter and really absorb it before moving onto the next.

------
patrickk
Take risks socially (approaching people). Get out from behind the screen as
many here have already noted.

Your body is a temple. Try to work up a proper sweat (intense exercise) every
day. Only eat food you cook yourself. Try to get proper sleep always.

Try selling something on the side to teach yourself about business (if that's
what you're into). I'm only now investigating selling on Ebay and Amazon
(weird to say for someone on HN). I'm only doing this now in my mid-20s, it
would've been great discovering this in my mid teens. Dealing with Chinese
suppliers & customers is a lot more pleasant than sitting in front of a screen
9-5 in a job you dislike. Plus you can be the best paid 16 year old you know
if you're successful! Here's an inspirational post:
[http://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/1ib1uc/i_run_an_ebay_an...](http://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/1ib1uc/i_run_an_ebay_and_amazon_business_that_will_do/)

Don't pay too much attention to the news, blogs, and general information
chatter that can consume your day. Read timeless books, get out in the air,
and spend time with friends.

------
whiddershins
Personal connections matter oh, so much more, than you can conceive of at your
age. Never permanently alienate anyone.

And do stuff. Otherwise, unless you are a publicist or salesperson, the
knowing people thing creates opportunities but you have no way to capitalize
on those opportunities or create your own identity.

Unusual successes is built on emphasizing strengths, not trying to eliminate
weakness. People who achieve real success generally do so by being extremely
good at at least one thing. If you are truly world class at something useful,
you can achieve tremendous success.

The upper limit of a person's success, however, is almost always set by a
weakness. This is inevitable, as it is extremely hard to see your true
weaknesses, so don't obsess over your failings, therein lies the road to
despair. But do keep an eye out for stuff you avoid or are afraid of, and if
you get a chance, address it.

------
kpapke
I would tell him to take a close look at his friends and figure out which ones
are not good influences. You don't want any "idiots in your boat". I once
heard a guy say this and it's so true: "Show me your friends and I'll show you
your future."

------
artificialidiot
"The game is rigged. Don't work till you drop, it doesn't matter. Enjoy your
short and pitiful life while you can."

------
starrhorne
You are a black box. Your brain and body take in the world as input and
produce thoughts, feelings, and actions as output.

Some of the most valuable knowledge you'll ever acquire is knowledge of how
that black box works.

Are you feeling distracted studying french? Is it because you hate french or
because you skipped breakfast?

Once you're able to link up cause and effect, you can take action to minimize
things you want less of, and maximize things your want more of.

How do you know what you want? It takes time, and you have to fumble around.
I've found that a lot of people who take a super-narrow path in and after
college tend to look up one day and find that they're in a place they never
wanted to go.

BTW, I would personally suggest that you ignore anybody here who's giving you
answers about investing or going to elite schools, etc. Those are means to an
end. And it may not be the end you want.

The only important life goals for you are the ones you come up with. And you
get to change your mind. :)

ps. Who am I? I'm in my mid 30's. Co-founder of a successful software business
(not a funded startup). And I've fumbled around a lot. The one thing that's
saved me time and time again has been a modicum of self-knowledge and a
willingness to jump in and learn new things, many times outside my comfort
zone.

pps. Don't forget to enjoy your life. Be kind to yourself.

~~~
xav
Wow, that's exactly what I was about to say - are you my double from the
future ?

------
X4
I'd tell my 16y old self to immediately change to a different school with
elite courses and less fascism and mobbing. To inform myself more about
Electrical Engineering and how it's not IT (a job agency I went to inform
myself convinced me that it's including IT, but it didn't). Then either decide
to start and finish it, or to do Computer Science from the beginning. I would
also tell myself to not cheat doing the homework using UML reverse-
engineering, but do the Java homework myself. The last thing is that I would
tell myself is to not build the Chess MMOG my former Boss asked me to do, but
convince him to build that Social Network I planned to do in 2004.

@ejsaz is there something you really like doing, or have already a talent for?
It doesn't need to be related to programming, but if you do what you like and
you're doing it with your heart, then you have much better chances to turn
that into a successfull startup than with other ideas. Don't tell yourself
that you'll do it tomorrow, always think about this habit as a sickness. Do
things you want to do when earlier than you think it needs to be done and
don't do a lot of stuff in parallel. Try reducing or stopping to watch TV and
all the Media and focus on your own ideas and feelings.

------
geuis
Let's list some practical things:

Eat more bacon. I was a skinny teenager. After I was 22 I gained a lot of
weight. I'm 33 and finally discovered keto/low carb eating and it's working
wonders. I recognize that I never really had the interest in doing sports
growing up, so if 16 year old me kept to a low carb diet we'd have maintained
a low weight through the years.

Finish college. It's a real popular idea to drop out and "do the startup". If
you have a side project that gets traction AND MAKES MONEY then that's
probably ok. In my case, I did a bit of school and have self-taught myself a
lot. I'm really good at what I do (web development), but there are holes in my
knowledge. More importantly, I'm regretting now not being exposed to other
potential fields of interest like astronomy, solar power, etc. I'll never have
that experience unless I show up on campus like those guys in the movie
Interns. Kinda akward and I'm not that funny.

Last thing would be to seize opportunities when they come. Always say yes. I
don't do that enough. Go to that party, attend that meetup. If you have an
opportunity to travel, do it.

~~~
MDS100
It's the increased protein and reduced kcal intake (greater satiety by protein
+ less choice by excluding vast amounts of food groups) that works. No need to
go very low carb/keto.

------
sept
Watch all episodes of the first three seasons of Fringe and La Femme Nikita
(old version). Read Carroll Quigley, Olaf Stapledon and Jon Rappaport.
Question all symbolic media including this message.

Know that time will only provide additional reasons why you must or cannot do
XYZ. Thus your task is to safely and soon go beyond claimed boundaries, before
you become convinced that they are non-negotiable.

Read "how to code a secure system":
[http://catless.ncl.ac.uk/Risks/27.25.html#subj16](http://catless.ncl.ac.uk/Risks/27.25.html#subj16)
. Life offers the challenge of coding a secure self-modifying mind. As the
piece above quotes Seneca, "There is a great deal of difference between a
person who chooses not to sin and one who doesn't know how".

One answer to your question is another question. What do you want to say now
to your 15-year old self? What if all of your possible future selves were each
trying to convince you to bring them into existence? How would you choose
between their justifications for existence? Do you consider this to be a
security, optimization or spiritual question?

As much historical "hardware" becomes software, historical constraints will
disappear. What will be the basis of the new software constraints that we
(you) will choose for our shared worlds? Should it be the future
worlds/startups with the best team, best marketing or largest cluster of
peers?

It is harder than it seems to identify when choices lead to divergent futures,
or when all official choices lead to equally undesirable futures. Thus the
obligation of every startup and teenager is use their imagination to grow the
pool of possible choices, future selves and future worlds.

------
spacecowboy
Don't be afraid to make a decision on choosing a specific path in life. The
sooner you make a decision, the sooner you start learning and finding out
things about the path. If you find yourself having a life where you are not
happy for a really long period of time, re-assess things and make another
decision. You have the rest of your life to figure out what you want to do,
many people who are much older than you are still trying to figure out what
they want to be when they grow up and you know - that is totally ok. Grow your
network of friends and mentors and never be afraid to ask for help - you are
doing good so far :) Get involved in things that you wouldn't normally do,
these opportunities lead to other opportunities and also help you grow your
network - many organizations with great causes out there. Always have
something that you care about and is personal to you on the side, no matter
what happens in life, you always have that one thing that matters to you and
no one can take away. Hope you have a fun and great 16th bday!

------
thedrbrian
Next weeks euromillions numbers. And don't go to uni unless you really really
want to. Learn to fly , travel the world or something.

------
dandrews
You know about compound interest. Time works the same way. You don't have the
time you think you do. Every year you screw around will penalize you heavily
10 years from now.

High school matters, to the extent that your performance determines which
university you get slotted into. Develop an attitude (as I did) and that
guarantees you won't go to MIT. Were I to do it over again, I'd swallow the BS
they lavished on us in high school for a shot at Tech. So start working _now_.
All-in. Don't get in the habit of coasting - that's a very hard habit to
break.

You have the luxury now of being able to think high risk / high reward. The
worst thing you can do is to start a family before you are ready. Security
becomes Job One then, which means low risk / low reward.

Surround yourself with the smartest people you can find. Don't be an eagle in
a cube farm of turkeys. That's the shortest route to stagnation I can think of
(though you'll be well paid).

------
pasbesoin
People lie. People project onto others what they wish they had themselves.
Advice not followed. Choices they wish they'd made. Past circumstances as
opposed to current circumstances.

There's no getting around making _your own_ decisions. And _living with them._

TANSTAAFL. Google (Wikipedia) it. Maybe read some Heinlein. Realize that while
Heinlein may have some interesting things to say, he too was writing
_fiction._

Physical health is the foundation of everything else. Don't compromise it
lightly.

From Frank Herbert's "Dune": "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear
is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I
will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I
will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be
nothing. Only I will remain."

My qualification: Fear is useful, in the short term. As are anger, and other
"negative" emotions. Pay attention, and work to solve/resolve those
situations. Left unresolved, they become poison.

There's a lot of good in the world, too. Nurture and trust your instincts.
Don't put up with crap. Make it a priority to be in a position where you are
not forced to do so.

Don't put other people in the position where they are forced to do so.

A good part of your strength and resilience come from your community (whatever
that is -- not necessarily geographically defined). Take care of it, and it
will take care of you.

People learn by example. Whether face to face, or in text -- the example has
to ring true. Or rather, the example _will_ ring true, whether what that ends
up being is what you intended to convey, or not.

This is some random guy's advice. TANSTAAFL.

------
abraham_s
I haven't read the comments so there might be duplication.

1) Try out new things on a regular basis. I don't mean technology. Try out
running, jogging, swimming, pottery, origami, kickboxing, anything new you
haven't tried before (You can do most of this without spending any money). But
do this on a regular basis. A new thing every month, and you must spend 2 hour
per week.

2) If you want to get good in programming, code for an hour every day.

3) Maintain a journal/diary. It doesn't have to be extensive or good prose.
Just a rough outline of your day and a couple of lines on how you feel. I
assure you, it will be fun to read it years later.

4) Read books. Learn how to read books. I have a habit of reading fiction and
forgetting all about them or starting technical books and never finishing
them. I am trying out a new method in which I write a small summary of fiction
and a plan to work out all exercises of technical books in second pass.

How I wish I could give this advice to my younger self!

------
tansey
Do __NOT __do things because they may make you rich. When people say that kind
of thing, I always imagined doing jobs I would hate, but that wasn 't the
case. Building machine learning models to play poker, doing quant work for a
hedge fund, and co-founding startups were all a ton of fun and really
interesting. That allowed me to rationalize the decisions.

I'm just now coming out of that 10-year streak. I knew when I was 16 that I
wanted to do AI for medicine. At 28, I'm finally doing it.

Also, start rock climbing. You'll be such a bad ass at 28 with 12 years of
experience. :)

------
lone-star
You're gay, whether you want it or not, so stop shooting drugs up your brains,
and stop flirting with girls... things will get better. Stop hanging out with
the cool guys, they are full of shit, and you'll be gone in a year. You're
living in china, so please make some efforts to learn more Chinese! Both your
parents are software engineers, and you're not even taking advantage of them!
Lazy piece of #$%^@! You won't regret what you did, however, you will regret a
lot what you haven't done.

------
falk
Get away from the computer screen.

~~~
ejsaz
Hah! I've certainly been doing that more often, particularly this summer.

------
edftw
Expect to underestimate the amount of time you'll be working, so plan
accordingly. If you build something that puts more zeroes in your bank account
than you've ever seen before, that doesn't make you invincible. An overnight
success can't be replicated 5x. Save a large portion of your earnings. When
you're older, you'll thank your younger self for helping you bootstrap your
newest venture.

------
olalonde
My advice to you is whoever you take advice from, make sure they share your
values or have a personality similar to yours. I personally don't regret
anything in my life (mostly) but I know many people who would probably be
miserable in my position. Likewise, I would be miserable in the position of
many people who consider themselves happy and successful.

------
jfb
Please don't worry about whether or not you are going to go to college, or be
an entrepreneur; don't waste time trying to optimize your technology chops;
you are 16 and you have acres and acres of time. Be 16 -- do dumb stuff, have
fun, learn how people work.

What I'd tell myself at 16: Self, when, in 1993 you get to 22, take that job
in California.

------
tshtf
I'd be just as interested in what my 16-year-old self says to me now. It would
be an interesting conversation.

~~~
rayhano
Yes, I've often read through old notes not recognising who that person is. It
would be great to see their point of view on many things.

------
onedev
You probably overestimate the things that don't matter and underestimate the
things that do.

------
gambiting
When offered a chance to go to a school abroad don't be afraid and just go.
You will end up at a university abroad anyway,but you will always regard those
last three years at a shitty school to be lost because you were too afraid to
go.

------
sharp11
Find out what you love to do. You can't do that just by reading, but only by
doing.

Find your community.

Apprentice somewhere.

Take advantage of youth as a time to do and try a lot of things. Get outside
your comfort zone.

What you know how to do is much more important than what degrees you have.

------
ejsaz
I just came back from a long walk, and wow! Didn't expect to get this many
replies. Thanks a bunch to everyone.

Time to go rock climbing, try new stuff every day, and finally get around to
finishing my project and starting a new one.

------
rayj
Stop playing computer games, look to HS sports like bb/soccer/baseball/track
as a way to learn social interactions instead of playing Diablo 2 and
Starcraft.

------
Tycho
Get a good idea of the world of work before you pick a university degree. If
university feels aimless and the other students are not interesting, drop the
course.

------
sharemywin
If you can't hold yourself to an extremely high standard and others to an even
higher one than you'll only have moderate success as an entrepreneur.

------
msrpotus
Have fun. It's easy to work constantly and lose sight of why you're doing it
but remember why you're doing it and take time to enjoy it.

------
shawnjanas
Don't work so hard and burn yourself out so young.

------
wunna
_Be yourself, everyone else is taken - Oscar Wilde_

IMO no truer words have been spoken. Much unpleasantness would have been
avoided had I known . HTH.

------
krisc
Don't listen to your parents. Get a job; the sooner you learn the value of a
dollar, the better. Talk to girls. Go to paulgraham.com.

------
amyunus
Do not afraid to be failed. It is one of the ways to win by learning to your
failure. One more thing.. make (appropriate) jokes.

------
EugeneOZ
I would say: "Don't play world of warcraft and other MMORPGs, noobass, read
books".

------
nanreh
Listen to music. Make it a habit. Go see live music especially. It's
important.

------
moorage
Seek out mentors ASAP. Don't be shy to ask the best & brightest you know.

------
negamax
Think and decide. Look far. Overwrite instinctive programming. Have goals.

------
prhc
Stop eating gluten. Go rock climbing. Find a summer job. Keep studying.

------
DMVer2
Say yes to adventure, maybe to danger, no to complacency

------
ams6110
Do stuff you like. The rest works itself out.

------
rhizome
It's different for everybody.

------
xipher
don't spend your money on anything except apple stock for the next 4 years.

------
zzzcpan
Study harder.

