
The weirdest thing women say to me - ColinWright
http://swizec.com/blog/the-weirdest-thing-women-say-to-me/swizec/6450
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Jemaclus
I don't have a problem talking to people (I'm a software engineer who happens
to have a Bachelors in Theatre and a Masters in Education), but I do
understand the social frustrations. For someone who thinks in terms of code
and logic and problem solving, decoding human interactions is tremendously
difficult. In mathematics, there is often one correct answer -- or, at the
very least, a discrete set of correct answers.

In the real world, when a girl smiles at you, what does that mean? It could
mean anything.

It could mean she thought of something funny. Or I look funny. Or she's just
happy. Or she's flirting. Or she likes me.

For someone who thinks in terms of information and problem solving, being
"outside" is really, really hard work. It's hard work to talk to people. Sure,
some of us get the hang of it, and you'd never really know that we're
uncomfortable, but if the social interaction goes on long enough, we tire out.
We fall back into our solitude. It's easier that way. It's less work. Those
correct answers we're trying to find matter only to us -- if we get it wrong,
nobody else has to know.

In my experience, the problem with social introverts (and engineers in
general, though they are not necessarily the same thing) is that social
interaction is exhausting, and because of that, most of them just never
learned to fake it.

It's unfortunate. But the best thing you can do for an engineer is let them
talk about what they wanna talk about, act positively, smile, and actively
invite them out again next time. And if they say no, it's probably nothing
personal. They're just tired.

~~~
elwell

      "most of them just never learned to fake it"
    

This brings out an important point. Maybe engineers are so used to being
forced to face the cold, scientific truth everyday (especially in programming)
that they despise a false face or show of excitement. Salesmen on the other
hand...

