
Who’s Sitting Next to You on the Subway? An R Train in September - fern12
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/10/whos-sitting-next-to-you-on-the-subway-we-asked.html
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brndnmtthws
This is great. People everywhere I go are incredibly friendly, especially in
New York. It's always fun to take a moment, act like a human, and talk to
people. Not because you want to sell them anything or buy something, but
simply because being social is part of being human.

One of the things that bothers me about individual automobile travel is how
isolating it is. I want to interact with people and experience local art and
culture, of which there is a lot in the NYC subway. We're a communal species.

~~~
humanrebar
> One of the things that bothers me about individual automobile travel is how
> isolating it is. I want to interact with people and experience local art and
> culture, of which there is a lot in the NYC subway. We're a communal
> species.

You can make phone calls and listen to local podcasts in a car. You get better
exposure to architecture, nature, and automobile design in a car than in an
underground train.

>I want to interact with people...

You must be riding other trains because on the trains I have ridden, everyone
is extremely efficient at avoiding eye contact.

~~~
superplussed
That's mostly true, but then try living for a few years in Germany and then
your perception of what it means to avoid eye contact will vastly change :)

~~~
guruz
I'm a German living in Germany. Can you clarify your comment for me? :-)

~~~
mvdwoord
As a Dutchie who just spent three years in Germany... You are perceived to be
very closed, at least initially. Nice when you want to be left alone, going
about your business. Not so nice when you are used to more interaction with
strangers.

~~~
scirocco
I'm from Scandinavia and it's pretty much the same.

------
ordinaryperson
Two years ago I got on the NYC subway, the 3 train, headed to work near
Columbus Circle, and after a few recent arguments (people stepping on my feet,
accidentally dumping water on me) I'd resolved to be more zen during the
crowded morning rush hour. I'd just read this article
([http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2960791/Commuter-
swe...](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2960791/Commuter-swears-man-
way-interview-man-recruiter.html)) that morning about a guy who said FU to a
commuter, only to be interviewed by him later that day, and I said, I have to
be more tolerant on the subway.

Anyway, I sat in the last seat reading a book when, at Chambers St, a large
middle-aged white woman sat down next to me and elbowed me in the stomach --
hard. Dude on her right immediately got up, wanting no part of it, and she
slid over, taking up both seats, then proceeded to mutter profanity at me.
"F'ng a----. Motherf----er." etc etc.

Not even sure why she was mad at me, I guess she wanted more room, but I was
on the end and I'm relatively skinny (32" waist, FWIW) so I'm not sure what
the beef was. Just crazy, I guess.

Normally I would angrily confront a stranger who just punched me in the
stomach and started swearing at me for no good reason but I thought, "Hey, I
just resolved a few hours ago to be zen on the subway, am I going to break my
new resolution on the first day?"

Fast-forward through the rest of the subway ride, I said and did nothing while
she kept muttering profanity (and staring right at me). We got off at the same
stop but I grabbed a beverage while she went her way.

Five minutes later I entered the lobby of my office and there she was. She
turned around, saw me, and went white. as. a. ghost. I was worried I'd have to
call 911.

Turns out she was a contractor who had just started at my company that week,
and her direct boss was a good friend of mine.

My friend didn't fire her (right away, anyway) b/c she needed the help and
just found the story funny but they did end up terminating her two months
later because (surprise surprise) she had an anger problem. They actually
waited for her to leave for the day, then called her and told her not to come
back in b/c they were afraid of what she'd do in person.

Moral of the story: don't get into commute rage fights. They're not worth it!
And you never know who you're getting into a fight with. Be nice to people on
the subway.

~~~
Theodores
Another reason to go Zen is that it does not get you there quickly if you go
all confrontational on someone.

As a cyclist I never get into altercations but others do. I wonder how it will
work out for them the next day when the road has to be shared again.

~~~
notl4wy3r
One time I was biking behind a man who flipped off a pickup truck after it did
something inconsiderate on the road. Then driver of the truck tried to ram him
and almost succeeded. That really brought home to me that there are contexts
where expressing your anger can be really counter productive, no matter how
justified it is.

~~~
Theodores
Yes actually that was kind of how I learned, a van driver angry at me cutting
up a learner driver. I had merely scooted down the inside of the learner
driver's car at the lights, but I had actively thought beforehand about
whether to do so and I thought it better the driver cope with real world
cyclists and we do get to the 'bike box' at the front (UK roads).

So van driver took offence and chased me at high speed down a dual carriageway
and on the bike/pedestrian path. I had to swap to the fast lane to get traffic
between myself and the van, plus I pulled a calf muscle and had to put my feet
up for a fortnight. Oh, I also had to take a different route to work.

I hadn't been the one with 'road rage', however I was riding quickly and I had
put myself before a more needy road user when I could have held back. Why Mr
Van Driver decided to boil over about it I will never know, but he had quite a
posse in the van and they were having great fun throwing things at me. Maybe
they routinely got a kick out of beating up cyclists, making a sport of it.

It is extraordinary what moves you consider safe to make on a bicycle in fast
moving traffic when there is a van trying to kill you. The game of 'Frogger'
seemed to offer greater life expectancy.

Having seen the darkside of confrontation I really saw no reason why anyone
would want to do anything at all that could incite a genuine road rage
incident such as what I had been subjected to. Absolute terror, but at the
same time extremely thrilling as I did manage to deftly manoeuvre my bike to
get bollards or vehicles between myself and the van of doom in ways you really
need the adrenaline for.

Incidentally I escaped by doing a last minute 'cyclist only move' at a
roundabout - a sharp right going against traffic to enter an industrial park.
I took a few moments to collect myself and gingerly made my journey to work to
find myself there very early!

------
gz5
The fact we are all on the subway for the same basic purpose subliminally
provides a democratizing, unifying and human environment.

The person next to you is different than you but is also the same as you. The
person is real - not a media concocted persona based on how the person may
look, what groups he may belong to or how the media interprets and
communicates her assumed motivations.

Digital is great but there are still 24 hours in the day, so the opportunity
cost for many of us, including me, is often human interaction. I for one am
trying to increase my time with humans on the R train, and decrease my time
with personas on social media.

~~~
humanrebar
I don't know. It's hard to feel magnanimous when you have an armpit in your
face and someone else is blocking the door to get off the train.

> human interaction

Honestly, my relationship with the person next to me on the train feels more
like the relationship between two cows on a cattle car.

Maybe you're riding a different line at a different time of day or something.

~~~
mc32
I feel the same way with the exception of traveling as a tourist and you're
taking more time to know and absorb your surrounds.

In most other cases the cattle car cows analogy is pretty apt.

------
donretag
Many years ago, my friend and I play something we called the N train game.
Traveling from Manhattan into Queens, we would guess which stop the white
people would get off in Manhattan. Only us "ethnic" white people went into
Queens, the rest (American white for lack of a better term) did not.

Now all of that is over. Everyone got pushed into the outer boroughs. There is
a hipster bar next door to the building I was born in. Unimaginable twenty
years ago. I left my hometown due to cost. Twice the price for a city that is
half as fun as it used to be. But this article still shows the amount of
diversity in the city.

~~~
umanwizard
I think “Anglo-Saxon” is the term you’re looking for

~~~
acjohnson55
Probably not, at least in the sense of literal English heritage.

There's definitely a White American identity, which is an innovation owing to
suburbaniztion and television. Previously ethnically diverse white people
assimilated as they left ethnic enclaves for the burbs. And for white people
with deeper American roots, migration broke down regional American identities.
It's a concept known as ethnogenesis.

While some insular white American identities persist in rural and small town
America (Appalachian and Cajun come to mind), it's largely recent immigrants
contrasting against a monolithic White American identity.

~~~
umanwizard
I don't think being part of what I would call "Anglo-Saxon culture" depends on
literally descending from the historical Angle and Saxon tribes -- it just
means "the culture of typical White Americans" (or New Zealanders,
Australians, Canadians, etc.)

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advertising
If you like this you’ll like humansofnewyork

The guy who started it quit his job and decided to do something like 1,000
interviews or something like that with no real goal. a portrait of each human
and asked the same line of questions but they usually got more personal.

Turned from a website to coffee table books and now makes millions and has a
penthouse in the city.

Also lookup New York nico.

~~~
therealdrag0
Reminds me of the book "Up in the Old Hotel?".

[0]
[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/210783.Up_in_the_Old_Hot...](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/210783.Up_in_the_Old_Hotel)

------
aninteger
Did they do this on the weekend? I ride public transit every day of the work
week. I see lots of the same people. I don't understand how the answer to the
question of "Where are you going?" is not "work" more often.

~~~
jtmarmon
well it's obviously not in rush hour due to the few people standing, so I'd
bet it's the weekend or middle of the day

~~~
humanrebar
If it were rush hour, there wouldn't be enough room to write notes on a
moleskine, let alone have a conversation.

------
BucketSort
I started a subreddit a week ago on a similar premise. I like how simple these
interviews are and how they paint a human picture. We hardly know each other,
and I feel like that causes a lot of issues. I also liked playing the game of
trying to read their backstory by the picture, then seeing if I was affirmed
by the blurb. I got the methadone guy because his gruff look, nails, and torn
bag. I was disappointed by the ebony Cleopatra blurb, I thought I was going to
be in for a ride there.

I was on the subway a few months ago when this mother left her kid at a
different stop accidentally ( I'm sure he was safe ), maybe not the nicest
thing to do, but I was in NYC for taking pics and got the moment here:
[https://www.instagram.com/p/BUlPWUMguSmtfh86RQymrzWcPC4L9YH8...](https://www.instagram.com/p/BUlPWUMguSmtfh86RQymrzWcPC4L9YH8t4PXic0/?taken-
by=andrewjribeiro)

~~~
tomjakubowski
Your Instagram link 404s for me.

~~~
BucketSort
Doh, I did noobishly link a private instagram post. Here's a imgur version (
not the best quality ): [https://imgur.com/a/iXYby](https://imgur.com/a/iXYby)

------
neom
"How do you like living in New York? I feel like my life is going according to
plan. Everything is in my control, so I think that is a good feeling. "

...uh oh. Quarter life crisis in 5...4..3..

~~~
brailsafe
lol

------
johansch
Awesome journalistic idea + execution, but so much scrolling back and forth.
Would have been neat with some mouseover popups or something similar.

~~~
acjohnson55
Yeah, I was kind of thinking, what if each picture stuck to the top as I
scrolled. Could have been a good opportunity to do something clever with web
presentation.

------
kchoudhu
Wow, they actually found a running R train.

~~~
AznHisoka
I think you are mistaking the R for G

~~~
colmvp
It's been years since I've lived in NYC. Is G still the ugly sibling of every
other line?

~~~
jakevoytko
Its service is better than its reputation. The trains are still short, and
they still don't run often enough, but it seems to roughly follows its
schedule. Data seems to back up my anecdotal experience:
[https://www.metro.us/news/local-news/new-york/nyc-subway-
bes...](https://www.metro.us/news/local-news/new-york/nyc-subway-best-worst-
lines)

~~~
kchoudhu
The G train saves lives.

[https://twitter.com/kchoudhu/status/909648674958872576](https://twitter.com/kchoudhu/status/909648674958872576)

------
j7ake
The diversity of occupations is refreshing. I imagine New York City is
particularly unique in this respect. Are there cities that are similarly
diverse in occupations ?

~~~
humanrebar
Basically every U.S. city has people in each of those occupations. In fact,
most of those occupations are more or less essential in every city. There
might be a few more people in creative occupations than is typical in the
U.S., but that sort of thing varies withing NYC, even. Riding a different
train in a different neighborhood at a different time of day will have more
mechanics, doctors, or engineers.

------
Erwin
If you like this, you will enjoy this:
[http://www.humansofnewyork.com/](http://www.humansofnewyork.com/) \-- many
touching stories and great portraits. The author started in NY but has
traveled the world, doing the same type of short interviews with people in
Iran or Iraq.

------
faithers8
I think you will really find the website humans of new york to be interesting
if you are into NYC and looking at people.

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gene50
It's funny when we take a moment to behave like a human being with all people.
It is not necessary to gain any benefits from this behavior but we gain by
being social which is a part of being human.

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jackewiehose
_> What’s your biggest fear?

> I’m afraid I’ll die before I can upload my brain to the cloud and live
> forever in a video game._

If you think that's a good idea you should watch "Black Mirror".

~~~
cgag
To convince me otherwise? Seemed grand to me.

------
viach
Let's automate it: "Who is X next to you in Y" \- and there are tons of ideas
for articles actually!

------
jdlyga
I take the N/W train into the city every day. You'd be crazy to talk to other
people on the train. Everyone has the attitude that they don't want to be
bothered and to just have a peaceful commute.

