
Startups Anonymous - jgemedina
http://www.startupsanonymo.us/
======
mexitlan
Not the OP, but I am one of the guys behind SA. First of all, thank you for
the nice emails and the gmail recommendation (we are answering emails and hope
to fix this ASAP). Bobby and I deployed this Saturday afternoon and told 3
people, so this caught us a bit by surprise. Apologies if we reply late to
folks.

I must note that both Bobby and I agree that we are very fortunate to work in
an industry like tech. The reason we started this site, was because we wanted
to do 2 things:

1\. Pay it forward - when we closed our companies, people who heard about our
troubles, some non-friends helped us out. We wanted to pay back the community
which gave us so much.

2\. Start small - Bobby and I know precious little about the world, but this
is one area where we thought we could actually help.

Thanks once more for the support, and if you would like to be part of the
folks of willing to listen to others, hit us up. @mexitlan and @bomatson.

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entropyneur
I am torn. On the one hand, running a startup is a very stressful experience
even when things go relatively well. And they almost never do, so it's usually
plain hell. It's great to have somewhere to turn to even if it's just to vent.
On the other hand, I can't help but think that self-pity is getting a bit out
of hand in our community lately. Startups aren't a sickness (unlike alcoholism
for example). Starting one is a choice we are all making fully aware that
failure is the expected outcome. Rather than writing and upvoting stories
about how bad we have it, maybe we should be seeking a different outlook that
embraces the fact that those "terrible" events are just part of our job. Much
like patients dying is a part of doctor's job (which you have to admit is a
lot worse than your startup dying).

~~~
mgkimsal
"Startups aren't a sickness (unlike alcoholism for example). Starting one is a
choice we are all making fully aware that failure is the expected outcome."

I really don't think this is the case. Yes, people give lip service to that
concept, but _no one_ thinks _they_ will fail, and investors don't think
_their_ investments will fail. Yes, they may know statistics, but no one would
explicitly start something with the expected outcome of wasting months/years
of their life and boatloads of money.

It does seem to me that 'startup culture' is another avenue for some people
with addictive tendencies to express addictions. TechCrunch is startup porn,
and people get addicted to the stories it peddles.

~~~
calibraxis
That's a good test to evaluate startups. How honest are the founders on their
expected failure rate? If you're not a person they need to be lying to (i.e.
not a potential/actual employee, investor, customer, journalist, etc), will
they tell you that their realistic probability for success is very low?

If they can't do this, that's a red flag. Their irrationality will injure
people in a relationship with them. They may disrespect others. Optimism is
vital, but so is groundedness.

~~~
jstanley
Everyone is a potential employee, investor, customer or journalist.

~~~
calibraxis
I agree, you have to dislodge them out of that mindset, so they don't see you
that way. You're there to help, which means honesty and seriousness. Otherwise
you get the businessman bullshit for public consumption.

Having interests in common (outside business) helps.

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naftaliharris
> "sometimes, a coffee can mean the world."

It's true--I can definitely still remember small but sincere acts of kindness
that I've received from friends or acquaintances over the years. Seriously,
the $8 it costs to buy some overpriced coffee and the value of a half hour of
your time are repaid many times over by the gratitude the other person feels
and the good you'll have done for their life.

~~~
readme
$8 I hope that's for two people. $8 is obscene for an overpriced coffee.

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lowglow
Also, if you're in San Francisco and ever want to grab a coffee and just chat
with someone going down the same tough road, I'm happy to meet up. No
pretenses, no bullshit, just real talk. You can also hit me up on IRC/Twitter:
@dpg

~~~
bomatson
thank you

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colbyaley
op, you're using Gmail to send emails to new users. Bad idea. Google will
catch on soon and ban you. I'd switch to another provider asap.

~~~
yumraj
Not OP, but curious. Please elaborate? Does Google not like if it is used as a
SMTP service, by startups?

Also, any suggestions for mail providers?

~~~
gommm
For those cases, <https://mandrillapp.com/> is good. It's fast to setup and
free for less than 12 000 emails. It's my go to email provider for all side
projects (do not forget to set DKIM and SPF though, otherwise your emails will
be marked as being sent via mandrill in gmail and a few email softwares)

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oscargrouch
I think what is happening in the US right now is a wide sum of money but a
shortage of good ideas.. (or there are so many projects that good ideas are
hidden in the middle of confusion)

And i think part to blame, is a cultural aspect.. it looks to me that nobody
want to work in a normal job these days.. so even when you need the talent for
your startup.. or he will be working in a big company, or will be launching
its own startup.. common guys, its madness..

For example when i see cases and protfolios here in Brazil, theres not that
much of projects being backed up by investors.. but the one that does, are
actually pretty good projects.. with more distinct ideas..

i fear that because of the cultural aspect of entrepreneurship a lot of people
that shoudnt be starting a company, are jumping itself into the jungle.. so
when the hard times hit theres no emotional spring to make the things workout
in another way.. (and this emotional aspect is one of the most important
things.. you need something to push you up.. no matter what)

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DenisM
I would prefer to get someone's ear before my startup fails, not after. Sadly,
most of my friends aren't into startups so I have few choices. Ideally, I
would have a circle of say three other founders who serve as advisors to each
other, but unlike typical advisors they would be peers rather than mentors.

I would call them co-dvisors.

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btmorex
I thought this was going to be a modern fuckedcompany replacement. Have to
admit, I was little disappointed.

~~~
clobber
Are there any sites around now like a modern fuckedcompany? The current
startup world is definitely missing one of those. I guess we can look forward
to that new HBO comedy, Silicon Valley from Mike Judge.

~~~
jaredsohn
The closest that I am aware of is TechCrunch's deadpool tag
(<http://techcrunch.com/tag/deadpool/>).

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PAULHANNA84
It's really nice to see entrepreneurs caring enough about other entrepreneurs
failed endeavors to offer a helping hand. It's common for an entrepreneur to
feel alone. We're a rare breed and sometimes hard to understand by others who
have never experienced owning a business or building a startup.

I myself have started and owned 4 different businesses in the last 10 years,
from the age of 18 to now being 28. Each lasting anywhere from 2-3 years, 2 of
which I failed, the 3rd which I sold and the 4th which I still currently own.

Every failed endeavor was a pierce in the heart and a devastating experience.
Every failed endeavor required some downtime in order to evaluate what went
wrong and in order to rebuilding my confidence. Through it all I can now boast
in my failures. They've refined my ego, they've turned reckless ambition into
fine tuned ambition. I've learned more from my failures than I have learned
from my successes.

I feel that I now carry a protective shield containing knowledge and
experience which help me through not just my business endeavors but as well as
my life endeavors. Our Ego's play a big role in how we feel/react when things
go right or wrong. It's common that an entrepreneur wants to project success
at all times, and there is nothing wrong with that, you should, but it's the
way you project it that could be faulty. It's common to see entrepreneurs
"fake it until they make it". I also see some entrepreneurs personalities made
up of a mix of condescending demeanor's and know it all attitudes. You don't
have to always be right. You should always be humble enough to accept
critique, to constantly learn. Your happiness should be based on the fact that
you are constantly learning and conducting, not how far away you are from a
multi-million dollar exit or your companies profitability. Don't get me wrong,
that is the main purpose of your companies existence, but it shouldn't be
yours. Obviously a company is in the business of making money and should
conduct its decision making based on those goals but the best
businesses/products/services created are from those who are genuinely
interested in what they're building. Money cannot buy passion, but passion can
buy money.

Don't let anger be the motive. You're not out to prove others wrong, you're
not up against the world. It's easy for entrepreneurs to end up with a chip on
their shoulder as being an entrepreneur is being a part of a rare breed that
is not always understood well by others. The more you share your ideas with
individuals who don't understand business, the more you open doors to the non-
believers, who then are perceived as "haters". This all ends up being a waste
of time and energy. The less refined your ego is, the more devastating the hit
will be. Stay humble, stay modest and work like no other. Your work should
come effortlessly. Office hours should feel like gaming hours. It's fun...all
of it. The obstacles, the profits, the challenges, the levels...it's all a
game. If your time spent doesn't feel anything close to that then perhaps you
should reevaluate what it is that you're doing and why. Being an entrepreneur
is a lifestyle, if it's not your style, then it's not your style. Regardless
of the potential money made you'll never be happy if it's a life you're not
interested in living and happiness should be the ultimate goal above all else.

-Paul Hanna

~~~
ScottBurson
Great post! Welcome to HN!

~~~
PAULHANNA84
Thanks Scott, glad to be here :)

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jaggederest
Why does it have to be startup-specific?

There are lots of people who could use somebody to talk to when things get
stressful, and there are lots of more stressful situations than running a
startup.

This just seems to reinforce the privileged status thing. I'd consider it
crass if you set up a 'Harvard graduates hotline' too.

~~~
gommm
It helps to talk with someone who went through a similar experience. Of course
there's other situation when things are stressful, and having someone to
listen and talk helps but don't underestimate the value of a listener who has
been there and can really relate to what's happening...

So I don't think it's about status, I think it's just that they have a limited
amount of time and first try to help the people that they are likely to be the
most helpful to.

Disclaimer: I'm not affiliated with Startups Anonymous. I think it's a great
idea and I wished I'd had that a few months ago...

~~~
bomatson
You're right gommm - our reason for starting this was to build a resource for
fellow entrepreneurs to talk about serious issues.

The only person who can help an entrepreneur out of the hole is one who has
been there him/herself. NO ONE ELSE

We are all human after all

~~~
Cardeck1
How about we join forces bobby?We are both trying to help people, you more on
the business side/me also taking care of the more personal side.I believe we
can help more people this way.Email in the profile.In any case, good to see
others help too.

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fxtentacle
brilliant idea :) and a well-written introductory text.

I think that it's great for everyone (even those who currently don't need it)
to know that you are there and willing to talk.

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erika_salazar
like it

