
Introverts, Emotional Processing, Self-Esteem and Salary Negotiations - mpweiher
http://cliffc.org/blog/2017/07/30/introverts-emotional-processing-self-esteem-and-salary-negotiations
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steanne
plenty of previous discussion

[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14893242](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14893242)

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dang
Thanks! missed that one.

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analogmemory
As an introvert who suffered for years with self-esteem issues I can totally
relate with his words. Couple years ago I picked up the book People Skills[1]
by Robort Bolton. It helped me look at how I reacted to people and often times
shut down and got defensive. Or i would be so locked-up mentally trying to
process my emotions I would just stop talking.

I found it's changed me in the way I interact with people now. Especially in
highly charged situations like his first example. I find I have the ability to
see the words and understand why the other person is being aggressive and to
help defuse the situation.

What I learned is that i'll still be an introvert at time but at least I can
change how I respond to people. And at times I feel more extroverted than
normal :)

[1] [https://www.amazon.com/People-Skills-Yourself-Resolve-
Confli...](https://www.amazon.com/People-Skills-Yourself-Resolve-
Conflicts/dp/067162248X/)

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amelius
Isn't it fundamentally impossible to learn to become more extrovert?

I mean, if you have to think about how to react to people, then that's sort of
the definition of being an introvert.

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gervase
Not the parent, but I think of it as analogous to running an emulator/VM. That
is, if your reactions to input are those of an extrovert, does the interior
process of how those responses are generated really matter?

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ansgri
Great analogy, and as with all VMs, you have a fundamental performance penalty
for not doing it natively. Although you do get the flexibility of pausing /
debugging / isolating the VM.

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khedoros1
Continuing: When some path is followed enough to be the "hot path", it hits
the threshold for JIT, and becomes much easier (much less performance
penalty).

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nightski
Not everything needs nor desires a deep well thought out intellectual response
or witty comeback. I'm not justifying what he said, but at the same time he
was just letting off steam. In fact it's possible he felt bad about it later
(or not). What I would of done in that case is just to try to be friendly with
the guy and talk to him about stuff not related to the situation at hand. He
is stressed out.

I used to suffer badly from similar symptoms as described in the OP (although
not as bad, so I can't relate perfectly). But over the years what has helped
me is to focus less on myself (how do I feel, what is he/she saying about me)
and more on the other person.

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trhway
Workplace harassment. Environment there it is ok. It is not the issue of being
introverted.

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wolco
I believe the proper response is hot shot programmers don't test. When are you
going to hire a qa resource.

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TomK32
unit tests? integration tests? Why hire a QA person if you can trust your own
test code.

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IanCal
To test what's not in them, to test what's hard to automate well, to test the
user experience, to test that your requirements make sense together, to try
all the daft things users will do.

To try and break things with more ingenuity than my test suite.

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dang
Url changed from [http://cliffc.org/blog/2017/10/21/programmers-suck-salary-
ne...](http://cliffc.org/blog/2017/10/21/programmers-suck-salary-
negotiations/), which points to this.

