
Have you ever been successful in changing your personality? - bgurupra
First a brief background about me.I am 30 years old IT Architect working in the IT Services wing of a large MNC.Almost for the last ten years I have dreamed of doing interesting things like doing a start up,hacking on open source software, learning quantum mechanics, learning music etc.I believe I am most happy when I do creative things.<p>Now here is the problem.From the time I can remember I have always been lazy and procastinate everything till the dead last moment(I have almost made procastination into an art form).Almost always I find some excuse or another to not do either the regular mundane day to day administrative type of work nor do I ever get to do the more "creative" type of work which I sincerely want to do.<p>Now a lot of people told me I am just a lazy jackass and should get off my ass and get something done.That does sound like a simple solution but every time I try by planning my day and focusing on my tasks it works out for a few days and if I am lucky even a week or so but inevitably I get back to my old ways.This leads to a lot of stress for me because I am never truly happy - its almost like one part of me wants to do something and another part of me does everything to prevent me from doing it and the vicious cycle never lets me have any kind of satisfaction with anything I do<p>Now I have started to believe that my laziness is a part of my personality and probably more hard wired in me than I think.<p>It would be truly truly helpful if anybody out here ever who suffered a similar problem and were able to get out of it can provide some advise or even if they were able to successfully change a personality trait for life.Thanks in advance
======
gaius
It takes 30 days to form a new habit. You just have to get there. Routine is
the key. And early mornings are the best, because you never have the excuse to
say "I've had a shitty day at work, all I want is a pizza and a beer". For me
it was the gym. Every morning (almost!) I roll in there at 6am before I'm even
really awake. "Alright, lads" I say, "alright", they reply, it's always the
same crowd, they are very serious people, and now I am pretty serious too. And
I don't need to force myself to do it now either, because it's what I _do_ ,
I'm the sort of person now who in the winter when it's dark outside will
trudge through the snow then train so hard in an unheated former warehouse
that steam pours off me and I _like_ being that person.

So set your alarm an hour earlier tomorrow and commit yourself to playing your
guitar (or whatever) for an hour before starting your day. If you're tired and
go to bed an hour earlier, so what, you were going to waste that hour watching
TV anyway, get some sleep and get up early and do it again the next day. Then
soon this will just be _what you do_ and you'll wonder how it was ever any
other way.

Also as Confucious said, if a man chases two chickens they will both get away.

~~~
arohner
Yes.

This advice is similar to Jerry Seinfeld's, which I also find to be excellent.
[http://lifehacker.com/software/motivation/jerry-seinfelds-
pr...](http://lifehacker.com/software/motivation/jerry-seinfelds-productivity-
secret-281626.php)

~~~
aneesh
There's a webapp based on that at <http://dontbreakthechain.com/> (not mine!)

~~~
stevejohnson
I could see that web site being a lot more interesting and compelling if it
gave you some sort of visual discovery for each new day. If you break the
chain, you have to start back at the first one.

------
ruby_roo
Is your personality type 'INTP', perchance?

INTPs have these constant internal battles. We're good at concentrating and
love working in the realm of ideas. However, we're often an impractical lot
and procrastination is pretty rampant among the other INTPs I know. The
biggest problem, I think, is that we just really suck at perceiving the
passage of time, and the daydreaming, writing, or discussion of ideas is often
rewarding enough just to stop there.

INTJs are supposed to have many of the same qualities of INTPs but tend to be
more sure of themselves, and therefore, more productive (or more capable of
delivering 'products' within 'deadlines'). They seem to live in the moment a
bit more, and I would venture to guess that they make better entrepreneurs.

As an INTP, I feel I can relate to your situation. I too often wonder if my
problem relates to a personality temperament, and truly can be changed. It
really bothers me that I have little to show for all the work I do in my head,
and this frustration has helped motivate me, but I still don't feel like I've
been truly 'unlocked'.

To compound the problem, INTPs make up about 1% to 3% of the population, which
means not many people can relate to the INTP mindset and are more likely just
to call you a whiner without attempting to appreciate where you are strong,
and why that strength makes you weaker in other areas.

Any INTPs out there who feel they've overcome their temperament's negative
traits? How did _you_ do it?

~~~
indiejade
My basic conclusion about the "personality" issues regarding INTPs is that
INTPs think _way_ too much about personality. Once I stopped over-analyzing
everything as it related to my "personality traits" and how I felt so weird
and different from the general population, life got so much easier. Isn't
there a saying something like . . .

"Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less."

That said, the MBTI can be a useful tool to help in communicating with others
(understanding how they see the world, for example), but over-analysis on the
personal psych issues can easily escalate into a big, bleak black hole of
self-perpetuating discontent. Sometimes you just have to kick yourself out of
your own rut by doing something drastic. Get out of your comfort zone. Put
yourself into extremely uncomfortable zones. For the INTP, this usually
involves being around people.

 _Disclaimer_ : I've tested INTP.

~~~
ruby_roo
I'd like to second this. Obsessive self-analysis can be a real problem. Over
the years, I've learned to take myself less seriously, and my life has
definitely improved because of that. People are still tedious, but my
tolerance has improved.

------
tokenadult
Have you ever lived in a different country? I mean really lived there, not
just visited? Radically changing your environment can do very well in
radically changing your conception of yourself. Does the large multinational
corporation you work for ever give people in your department a chance to
relocate? That might be a great growth opportunity for you.

~~~
rdouble
I'm not convinced living abroad always engenders positive change. I lived in
Japan for a year and I don't remember another time in my life when I behaved
in a more unhealthy manner.

~~~
domodomo
Meh, actually that's a good point. My first time living abroad was also in
Japan, and come to think of it a good many people there were just there to
party. For it to be positive you actually have to try and learn the language
and engage in the culture. Also, the fact that I lived with a home stay family
and made local friends helped (established meaningful relationships with
locals).

~~~
rdouble
I wasn't there to party, either. I was mostly hanging out with 50 year old
salarymen! Frat boys on spring break in Cancun have got nothing on Japanese
middle managers. I'll never understand how the Japanese have achieved the
longest average lifespan. I'm a lightweight... if I had gotten wrapped up in
the typical asian expat tweaker scene I'd probably already be dead.

~~~
domodomo
Heh, ah memories, I can somewhat relate. I was a student in Japan, but spent a
bunch of time hanging out with Taiwanese business men in southern China after
that. The first block of time I spent there (relatively short) I couldn't
speak mandarin at all, and it was pretty miserable experience. The second
block of time I spent there, my mandarin had gotten pretty decent, and so I
was able to flip everything into a learning experience...from learning words
in Chinese like "static IP address" to how to politely refuse a karaoke
prostitute my host habitually tried to force on me, those are some life and
language experience I didn't get in the classroom =\

~~~
caffeine
If you're an American living abroad, 6 months is the minimum, and you should
really stay at least 9 months. Why? Language is everything.

Seriously - in most places sufficiently different from the US to be
interesting, language will be your first and most formidable barrier, on the
other side of which lies one of the most satisfying experiences you've ever
had. It'll take 6 months after you arrive to cross the language barrier. Your
life will rock afterward, so plan at least 3 months (more is better) to enjoy
the awesome part.

Example: I noticed I'd crossed the barrier when I managed to land a gig
drumming for a Tokyo funk band, and I was the only Gaijin in the bar at our
first gig). From then on, life in Japan was awesome. I could call up and
organize scuba diving trips in obscure bays on my own, I could pick up
Japanese girls using _only_ Japanese (try that!)

Fun.

------
adamcrowe
Some no nonsense anti- procrastination/perfectionism tips:

Structured Procrastination <http://www.structuredprocrastination.com>

The Cult of Done Manifesto [http://www.brepettis.com/blog/2009/3/3/the-cult-
of-done-mani...](http://www.brepettis.com/blog/2009/3/3/the-cult-of-done-
manifesto.html)

Merlin Mann on Doing Creative Work [http://www.maximumfun.org/sound-young-
america/maxfuncon-merl...](http://www.maximumfun.org/sound-young-
america/maxfuncon-merlin-mann-doing-creative-work-sound-young-america)

Beating The Little Hater <http://www.podtech.net/home/4760/beating-the-little-
hater>

Ze Frank on Executing Ideas Vs "Brain Crack"
[http://lifehacker.com/5142776/ze-frank-on-executing-ideas-
vs...](http://lifehacker.com/5142776/ze-frank-on-executing-ideas-vs-brain-
crack)

~~~
bgurupra
Thanks!Appreciate all the links!

------
shughes
One thing I've learned is that you have the power of mind control. And the
more you use it, the better you are at it.

So, in the case of trying to commit yourself to new goals, first decide on a
goal. Then decide when you want to apply time to the goal. And then, most
importantly, when you're not working on your goal, use mind control to not
negatively think about the goal and the efforts involved to accomplish that
goal.

Here's a dumb example, but it can be applied to many cases. Unloading the
dishwasher. If, ahead of time, you think about the steps that you're going to
have to take to unload the dishwasher, you won't do it. But if you use mind
control, and don't think about the steps it's going to take to unload the
dishwasher, but just think about the fact you need to unload the dishwasher,
you will do it.

In other words, procrastinators over think things, to the point they overwhelm
themselves. But you have to constantly use mind control, and understand that
the more you use it, the easier it is to use.

I used to be a huge procrastinator, but using mind control, I've literally
transformed myself into a person that can't stop working. I've been successful
at this transformation for the last two years, so it's definitely working.

~~~
JimmyL
I've never used that term for it, but I know exactly what you're taking about.
When I was trying to build up a habit of going to the gym every day after
work, there would often be a part of my mind saying things like _I'm too
tired_ , _I won't be able to get a machine_ , or _I have more important ways
to spend the next hour_.

When this happens, I've started to develop a habit where another part of my
brain keeps "yelling" _just get off your ass and go_ , and listen to that one.
So while one "half" is thinking about all the reasons I shouldn't go to the
gym, I'm making the other "half" focus on going - and I find myself packing up
my stuff and walking to the gym.

It sounds crazy (especially re-reading my description), but concentrate on the
high-level idea of doing something (as opposed to how and why/why not), and
you might find it easier to get it done.

------
knieveltech
This may sound like a nonsequitur but take up rock climbing. I spent the
better part of 10 years languishing in helpdesk hell dreaming of getting a job
as a developer. I just could NOT muster the stuff to get off my ass and make
the changes required to change career tracks. Too comfortable with the routine
I guess.

I got interested in rock climbing after seeing some climbers in action during
a vacation trip to Wyoming. I've been climbing for three years now and I'm
employed as a web developer, I've gotten to speak at a major technical
conference (used to have hideous performance anxiety), and I'm contributing to
open source projects. I'm also in the best shape I've been in my life. Good
luck to you.

------
jsackmann
A couple of thoughts, probably cribbed wholesale from elsewhere since I've
read so much on these topics.

1\. Set the bar low, and gradually raise it. Make your goal for tomorrow to
work on a designated creative project for 30 minutes. If you can do it --
great. Set the same goal for the next day, or maybe a little more. Think of
self-discipline training sort of like weight training. You can't suddenly, by
dint of will, force yourself to bench press 600 pounds, let alone do a
complete workout every day. Maybe your personal max right now is 30 minutes
four times a week ... start with that and build from there.

2\. [This is from the book Do It Tomorrow, which I recently read and enjoyed
quite a bit.] Make your creative project your "current initiative," which
means IT COMES FIRST. That might mean it's the first thing you do when you sit
down at the computer after work (if you can't do it at work), or whatever ...
but whatever you do, start working on it first, before getting bogged down in
day-to-day stuff like answering email and reading HN :). As in (1), you don't
need to set huge goals ...if you keep blasting away at something a little bit
every morning, you'll start making some serious progress.

------
ellyagg
You can change this trait! I promise you, you're not stuck with it.

I'm about your age and I was a huge procrastinator and underachiever until
only 2-3 years ago. Since then, mostly through "grit", I was able to acquire a
job as a senior software engineer, despite having no degree, and not even
owning a computer until I was 23.

I suspect you are like me in that you are much more interested in novelty and
idea generation than in execution. I always had good ideas and did well on
aptitude tests, but was seriously short on follow-through. I overcame my
procrastination mainly following two principles:

1\. Focus on one main project/goal at a time. Period. I know it sucks, but
it's simply too easy to get distracted if you don't handcuff yourself. Every
project has interesting parts and boring parts. If you have multiple projects,
you end up thinking about the interesting part about some other project as
soon as you get to a boring part of the first.

Figure that you'll do everything you want to do serially instead of in
parallel. This makes it all the clearer how little time there is in life to do
everything you want to do, and the realization is painful, but that's too bad.
You aren't _actually_ getting more done just because you've got multiple
projects going on at the same time. In fact, for some (most?) of us, you're
getting less done.

When you don't try to do anything seriously, it seems like you can do
everything. It will be demoralizing to see how slow progress is when you're
focusing on only one project. It's still worth it in the end, and you'll
finally get a better understanding of the actual scope of your capabilities.
This will allow you to make better decisions about time expenditure going
forward.

Make the one thing you focus on have a definite end point. A goal. It can't be
"get better at the piano". It has to be, "give a live performance".

Maybe some people can have multiple concurrent goals/projects. You can't. The
sooner you face up to this, the better off you'll be. You'll feel like you're
cutting off the boundless possibilities open to you. You ARE. That's life.

2\. Do the boring parts. If you can learn to take pride in doing the boring
parts, you will be formidable. A lot of idea people/dreamers never figure this
out. Ideas are so damned fun to think about.

Count your blessings. In my opinion, it's easier to learn to do the boring
parts than it is to become creative.

The advantage of focusing on one goal/project is that there's nowhere to hide
when you get to the boring parts. If you want to finish, you have to do them.
Your mind can't casually escape into thinking about the interesting part of
another problem because there is no other problem. This is huge because the
problem of avoiding boring parts is abstract, often gradual. It sneaks up on
you. You've got to constantly be on guard for avoiding the boring parts of the
project.

These days, I always know what my project is, and I can state it succinctly in
one sentence. I keep it in my mind at all times so I know exactly where I'm
going. In addition to the original inspiration, I take pride in powering
through the dull intermediate steps of a project that most everyone else fall
down on.

~~~
ajb
One activity where 'one thing at a time' doesn't work: research/invention.
Edison was the classic multi-project guy: many research projects, most of them
at any one time stuck waiting for him to find some way to progress them.

Serious researchers are forced to work like that. Some of them manage to apply
it to the rest of their lives too. Don't ask me how, though :-(

~~~
thismat
You can learn to manage multiple projects after you master managing them one
at a time. This doesn't mean you should be working on multiple projects at the
same time though, multi tasking seems to be pretty solidly proven as less
effective than serious focus.

------
electromagnetic
I'm a procrastinator, but that didn't stop me learning guitar or becoming a
writer. I can easily write around 2,000 a day, just because I want to write,
but that didn't come without a lot of effort.

As a procrastinator you'll never have the motivation to do something creative
unless you force yourself to do it. I've wanted to be a writer since before I
can remember, I was writing stories at 10 years old that were about as
talented as a large bowel movement.

I'm now 21, I successfully procrastinated myself through highschool, college
and into immigrating to another country. I'm forcibly unemployed (I don't want
to jeopardise my immigration as I'm moving for QoL not money, UK->Canada)
which gives me ample opportunity to procrastinate, but I quickly put an end to
that.

I spent several months writing at every opportunity possible. When my wife
naps, I'm on the computer writing. When I'm home alone, I'm writing. When I'm
on the train I'm thinking through the next few paragraphs, I'm having
arguments between characters in my head.

My advice for doing something creative, you've got to devote every free second
you have to the task. Any work breaks, especially lunch breaks, the daily
commute (either read a book on the train/bus or listen to an audiobook if you
drive) . . . when you've done what you planned _then_ you can procrastenate.

I've done my quota for the day, that's why I'm wasting time on HN and not
working. I've always been lazy and I've never let it stop me from doing
something I wanted to do.

It's entirely your choice if you do something creative or not, but to change
who you are you've got to live the new life before it'll become you.

------
lionhearted
Two pointers:

1\. Desperation helps. "Necessity is the mother of all invention." If you
_have_ to do something, you will. I was never able to launch products on time
until I started taking preorders, promising a firm date, and guaranteeing we'd
ship by that date. If I negotiate a project management contract, I like to
negotiate for "guaranteed xyz milestones by zyx for abc pay" terms. Part of my
pay attached to getting things done on time. I once put in 60 hours of work
over 3 days to launch on time. (work 20 hours, sleep 4 hours, work 20, sleep
4, work 20, then sleep for like a whole day) (lots and lots and lots of
caffeine, half delirious, but we launched on time) (also - not recommended).

2\. Manipulate your environment. People tell me I have iron willpower a lot,
and they admire that, etc, etc. Bullshit. I try to eat well, but if I have a
bunch of chocolate and cookies and junk in my home, I eat it. So? I buy a
bunch of clean, healthy, easy to eat food with low barriers. Want to jump on
something tomorrow? Make a to-do list for the next day the night before, line
up all the materials I need, and make a note, "Don't turn on computer until
making these 3 unpleasant tedious phone calls." And so on.

Two very related, highly recommended posts:

[http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/barriers-are-
your-...](http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/barriers-are-your-enemy/)

[http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/07/habit-change-is-
lik...](http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/07/habit-change-is-like-chess/)

Building your environment so success is easy and failure is hard helps a lot.
It's hard to brute force willpower yourself against your environment. Changing
your environment to suit your goals helps a lot.

------
snitko
If you're anything like me, I hope I can explain to you what's that and how to
fix it.

I started digging into Rails and writing my first project with it while
working on my dayjob. At this time I was still taking bass guitar classes and
spending my last year at the university. Having all this things at once did
not allow me to work on each one of them long and hard enough. Which led to
procrastination. Which led to general unhappiness.

Then I decided to eliminate the less important things one by one. I quit the
bass guitar lessons, then graduated from the university, then quit my job.
Finally, I only had my Rails project on my mind. One thing. I became extremely
productive and felt happier. Of course, later I had to look for another job
(which I also quit), but I knew this was going to be temporary and I'm working
on my new project again now.

I'm actually 23 and I imagine things are a bit different for a 30 y.o.,
probably with a family and responsibilities. But it seems to me that the real
reason for procrastination is not being a lazy jackass. In fact, lazyjackiness
is a reaction for trying to do too much things at a time and not thinking
about the real priority, which is going to make you happy both in the short
and long run.

So my advice to you: find a way to concentrate on this one most important
thing for now, by all means find this way.

------
mackeeeavelli
Consider this aphorism every time you want to procrastinate: "Make decisions
based on what will lead to happiness, not what avoids discomfort." Think it
over...

------
tricky
Maybe you can't decide on which "creative" type of work to do. One day you
want to write iPhone apps, the next day you want to play prog guitar, the next
you want to learn lisp, ad infinitum.

You can't do that. You have to decide on one thing and concentrate. Make it
your bitch. Practice it well for 20,000 hours. I can't stress this enough, you
have to commit to one thing. If you can't do that, you'll continue to
backpedal (and continue to feel unhappy, per your definition.)

You'll also need some sort of motivation. It might be a person you don't want
to disappoint who is asking about your progress and who is there for you when
you want to quit. It might be some internal drive for perfection... It doesn't
matter what ''it'' is, but that thing has to exist and you have to be
emotionally tied to it.

Of course, let me know if you can figure out how to find the one thing to
focus on... I can't.

~~~
bgurupra
yes that is definitely one of my problems, not sure how many grand plans I
have made in the last 10 years where I wanted to do 5 different things at the
same time and all have failed almost even before I began

------
JacobAldridge
There's a lot of excellent forward looking advice here - I particularly agree
with those suggesting you set some bigger goals to motivate yourself, and
commit for the 4 weeks / 30 days it takes to build a habit.

I have also found benefit working on my past with a personal coach (therapist,
shrink, good friend - whatever works for you). A lot of my procrastination
came from feeling guilty relaxing and doing casual things just for me - if I
_did that task right now_ I'd be able to relax, but because I felt guilty
about that outcome I would drag out the task in front of me.

There were some other root causes I needed to work through, but in the last 3
months I've seen a massive turnaround in my personal energy and productivity.
Results may vary, but I was ready to change and found dealing with past stuff
helped me stick to the future goals and planning.

------
petercooper
You need pain. All this "30 days to form a new habit" stuff is bullshit - for
certain personality types anyway. I went to the gym for months but it
eventually tailed off.

I've found the best motivator is always pain. I was sloppy at cleaning my
teeth until I had some _major_ dental pain and a ton of expensive dental
surgery. Now I'm brushing and flossing all the time - guaranteed.

I used to be sloppy at dealing with e-mails. Now I try and get on the case
right away as I found the pain and shame of dealing with irate people calling
me up to be worse than just doing the e-mail.

So, pain, that's my recommendation. It's also something Tony Robbins tends to
go on about. Find pains associated with undesired behaviors and realize them.
Find pleasures associated with desired behaviors and realize them. The rest
follows automatically.

------
oPerrin
I'd like to share a couple gems that psychology has actually produced:

1\. One of the most important skills for success is the ability to _distract
yourself from immediate desires_.

Delaying gratification, by looking away, thinking about something else is THE
skill behind "self-control."

2\. Expertise is developed in a very stable pattern of external motivation,
mentoring, and consistent _deliberate_ practice.

That means 1. Surround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do
2. Find someone to TEACH you how to do what you want to do and 3. Spend 30
mins a day rising to 2 hours a day over the course of a year or two on the
target of your expertise. (Spending more time on the things you suck at than
the easy bits) 10k hours later you'll be an expert.

Sources provided if needed!

------
poltergeist
Like someone mentioned, 28 days is what it takes to form a habit, through the
formation of neural links in the brain.

However, to last 28 days, you will need something else to inspire you. Nothing
works like love/sex, which are evolutionary needs embedded into our limbic
memory. You have to somehow derive inspiration from either of these two to
last 28 days.

I know because I have, on 2 occasions - and have achieved minor miracles :D .
On others, I continue being the same as you. But its comforting ( and scary
since I don't want to be 30 and still a lazy ass ) to know that there's more
than one of us.

------
wolfmanstout
When you have those moments where you do actually get things done, are you
still focusing on the mundane tasks? That might be why the inspiration isn't
lasting. Set aside a small amount of time each day to work on some creative
task. Don't obsess too much over picking something really impressive or
useful; start small. Stick with it, and eventually you'll find yourself more
energized toward everything else.

"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action
always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action." -Frank
Tibolt

------
mflinsch
[http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/technology/science/want-...](http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/technology/science/want-
to-get-ahead-sleep-in/article1065333/)

Maybe it's not you that needs to change but how you fit in with the dominant
early-bird culture.

My own experience suggests changing personal behavior, much less personality
traits, is an uphill struggle that requires substantial effort. Gaius is right
on the 30 days to make a habit theory...

~~~
Huxtable1
As an experiment, I tried changing a life-long habit: from the time I carried
a wallet, I always put it in my back left pocket. Did it without thinking.
Always put my keys in my left front pocket (without thinking). I started
putting my wallet in my right-back pocket, and my keys in my right-front
pocket. It took a looong time to break myself of the habit. It was so easy to
use the left pocket that I'd do it without thinking, and realize what I had
done minutes later. After a while, it got easier, but I would still regress if
I didn't pay attention. Now, putting the articles in my right pockets is
reflex, but every once in a while I slip...

It has taken years to get to this point, and it was a learning experience: I'd
read all the '30 day habit' books too. I guess it's easy to start a NEW habit,
but changing an existing habit is hard work.

HTH

~~~
hs
i did the left-right wallet thingy too; however, i often forgot where i put my
keys (left/right?), ending up poking my pockets

those habits were gone once i employ belly-bag

------
imasr
Maybe, instead of struggling against yourself, why not try to figure out what
you really want. I don't mean what you believe you should want, based on your
talents, but what you actually want. Perhaps what you really desire, you think
is wrong or out of reach, so you focus on things that you believe can be done,
but eventually doesn't fullfill your soul. But above all, don't despair,
because you're not alone in these quest, and it's not an easy one.

Best wishes!

------
swombat
My "hyperbrain" article series might be of interest to you. I go into quite a
lot of detail to provide techniques that help with some of the characteristics
of smart, highly distracted, obsessive people like us. Start here:

[http://inter-sections.net/2008/08/28/hyperbrain-owners-
manua...](http://inter-sections.net/2008/08/28/hyperbrain-owners-manual-1-the-
big-picture)

------
thismat
You might also like this entry (ignore the slightly misleading link-bait
title, the principal on focus is a good one)
<http://thinksimplenow.com/productivity/the-4-hour-workday/>

And also, <http://zenhabits.com>, this is a great resource of inspiration for
me.

------
Flemlord
I managed to change a bad habit of mine--I've always had a problem getting up
early. I changed this two years ago when I moved into a new house with large
full-length windows in the bedroom. I discovered that when I kept the drapes
open, I would consistently wake up around 6:30. With the extra time, I'm not
rushed in the morning and even work out a few days per week.

------
helentoomik
For any kind of self-modification project, I strongly recommend the book
"Self-directed behavior" by Watson & Tharp. It's the thinking man's (or
woman's) self-help book, with general all-purpose advice for any kind of
change. Very practical and very useful.

------
emullet
Thanks for asking this. I've been feeling the same way lately and many of the
suggestions here seem like great ideas. Time to set my homepage to
dontbreakthechain.com and hit the gym!

------
DanielStraight
I'd like to think I've been successfully changing my personality continuously
since I first started caring.

------
iterationx
set the goal, write the goal down as a sequence of steps in a calendar - if a
step seems too difficult break it down into smaller steps, do a little bit,
measure your progress, adjust your schedule. repeat for 30 days. revisit your
assumptions about your genetic laziness theory.

------
onreact-com
Good question. I changed "my personality" a few times according to your
definition. Your description sounds to me as if you are both bored and not at
all challenged.

A person who is interested in quantum mechanics is obviously not the right
type to perform tedious IT tasks amidst corporate dullness.

Save a little money, then travel a while and take a book an quantum mechanics
with you. The rest will follow. My changes were never complete but they
worked.

------
ahoyhere
Read "The Path of Least Resistance." Take notes. Read it again.

All other tips are just surface bandaids, attempting to cover up the real
problem. Your symptoms are symptoms, not problems in and of themselves. No
amount of commitment, tips, hacks, or self-badgery is going to change you if
you don't attack the root of the problem.

As Einstein said, "Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking
that created them."

------
fingergunslngr
I, like you, spend a great deal of my time "up in the clouds,"so to speak.
Grandiose, whimsical ideas are for the most part what keep me going, and do
well to quell the drudgery of routine/secondary education. All I can say is a
bit of pragmatism (which is borderline sacrilege to the ears of a dreamer)
goes a long way in overcoming inhibitions or procrastination.

------
pageman
you can actually differentiate between your MBTI type (i.e. ENTP etc.) vs.
your DiSC behavioral pattern - your personality might be the same but
depending on the context (home, work, leisure) - your behavior can change from
a Di to an IS or even an SC

------
ddemchuk
You described me exactly except I'm only 22. I've lost a pretty serious
relationship as well because I became a very "going through the motions" kind
of guy and basically stopped really caring about anything.

My advice is to get yourself a mind mapping tool (xmind is free) and name the
center item "Life" and just put down everything in your life on there. I just
did this and have branches for Projects, Work, School, Social, Personal, and
Financial. Fill up the the whole thing with both where you are and where you
want to be.

I have found that having everything objectively in front of me instead of
floating around my head drastically improves my ability to line them up and
evaluate everything for what it's worth. By having it all laid out in front of
you, you can see what areas need attention and which ones can hold off for a
while.

Also, ideas aren't a bad thing. I find myself drowning in new ideas, almost to
an ADHD level of lack of focus. The best thing you can do is pick 2 or even 3
of the main ones you want to focus on and write down everything else. You
don't want to forget your ideas but at the same time you don't want to lose
focus, so keep a notebook full of everything you think of until you have time
to go through it.

Bite sized chunks are really important too. I fell into a lot of financial
troubles because I just stopped caring, stopped opening my bills, just overall
gave up. If that's the case, go through your finances and find out exactly how
much you need to live on, add a few hundred for just in case, and divide that
by 20 to find out roughly what you need to be making on a normal work day to
get by. That way you can see at a moment's notice if you're working enough or
not.

Lastly, I kind of just started feeling really guilty about the way I was
acting. It didn't take much for me to drop everything and head to the bars
with friends, and that lack of self control greatly impeded my ability to get
work done. I've since developed a bad taste in my mouth and am consciously
working on making sure I don't screw around as much.

It's easy to be lazy man, it happens. You have to harness your willpower to
pull yourself out of the rut. Start small, track everything, and improve upon
yesterday always. You'll get there, it just takes active thought to make it
happen. Good luck.

EDIT: I almost forgot a big part of fixing things. Make lists. For everything.
Grocery Lists, todo lists, goal lists. Todo Lists are the most important thing
to help with procrastination.

What's important to remember is to make everything on your todo list
"actionable" (to borrow from GTD). so don't put "build website for
Greg"...instead put "setup server, install CMS, mockup template, etc...you
want individual, achievable items, so that you can both: see what needs to be
done, and see what has been done. This is key to you breaking your habit...

------
jimbokun
I can definitely say your dilemma is nothing new.

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I
hate I do."

[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%207:15;&#...](http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%207:15;&version=31);

