

When investors treat us like toys - mickhagen
http://www.founderdiaries.com/2011/03/when-investors-treat-us-like-toys/

======
adrianwaj
He's probably talking about people with Narcissistic personality disorder and
I recall an expert mentioning them gravitating toward VC, Law and management
consulting: where they have power over people.

You are their horse, and they ride you into their own perceived sunset, with
everybody applauding. When things go sour they put you down. Look out for
hissy fits when things don't go as planned, like not being "in on that deal."

Two types of people give them narcissistic supply, and sustain them: people
that actually believe the grandiose self-image they project, and others who
just try and ride their coat tails, even if they know them to be fake.

Narcissists can get very nasty and use their positions of power to outcast,
betray, or wrongly portray anyone that stands in their way, or show them up.
Narcissists are very unlikely to change. Keep well clear - you are just a
cardboard cut out.

I've noticed that they thrive on taking the credit of others, because deep
down they feel deeply insufficient. They act over the top of these feelings.
I've found it may have something to do with unloving, competitive, or
conditionally loving parents. President may well be a Narcissist.

~~~
tomjen3
Thank you, that was very enlightening. Am I right in suspecting that one can
use their Narcissism against them? If they really take their self worth from
others, they would be very easy to train to do as you want (in pretty much the
same way cult leaders does).

I realize that this isn't exactly what hackers normally do, but maybe it is
worth starting to do?

~~~
spitfire
No. Narcissists are usually quite smart, and very dangerous. Just stay away
from them at all costs.

------
abstractbill
_We put our entire life and livelihood at risk for the startup._

I hear this a lot and it bugs me because in so many cases it's just not true,
and I think it actually stops more people from starting companies.

Founders don't risk their _lives_ to start companies. In the Silicon Valley,
they don't risk their careers either. At most they risk a few years of below-
market salary and a bruised ego.

~~~
nkurz
You may be right for a small subset of VC funded companies, but finding myself
in a similar position to the author, I find your statements rather insulting.
Yes, it discourages people from starting companies, and I think this may be a
good thing. Is your contention that the foreclosure of his home is not a big
deal? Have you been through this, or are you repeating what you've read?

I have great worry that trying to start a business in the US is the largest
mistake that I've ever made, and think I have legitimate fear that if it
fails, there will be no legal way to recover. Suggestions for how others
should avoid this position would be useful, but blanket statements that say
that it really isn't a big deal aren't that helpful.

~~~
shazow
Not to mention the healthcare situation. I guess most people can afford cheap
catastrophic coverage, but not everyone is so lucky to be able to draw that
line.

All the more reason to do it while you're young and healthy, I suppose.

------
rboyd
I want my five minutes back. I'm sorry if this isn't the popular opinion, but
I thought this read like whiny drivel.

You knew what you were signing up for, or if you didn't, you have had every
opportunity to bail.

 _how wet the pillow gets at night when times get tough_

I sure hope you weren't being literal here. Cry me a river, man. From where
you are now, the level of fail it would require for you to even approach the
realm of the suffering and the downtrodden would be truly epic.

Your point is that it makes you sad that investors don't get more emotionally
invested in the ventures that they back. The backers have their own secret war
to fight. It's not all rainbows and unicorns for them either. I think you are
fundamentally missing something. Treating the whole experience like a game is
exactly the right approach. It is the only way that you get out of this with
any sanity left intact.

This is coming from someone who has been right there in the trenches, over
several at bats. I know what it's like to feel as if the walls are closing in
on you. Embrace those darkest of days! That is where your power comes from.
There is freedom in knowing that your worst case scenario is not only
survivable, but it is a blessing in disguise.

As critical as I'm being here, you know that I'm still on your side. The bind
of entrepreneurship ties us and when you win, we all win. So, I'm rooting for
you. I just think you will look back on this post in a couple of years and
realize how sophomoric it all sounds.

But don't forget Roosevelt:

 _It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong
man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The
credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred
by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short
again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but
who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the
great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows
in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails,
at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with
those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat._

------
gyardley
'Toy' isn't quite right. Closer to 'status symbol'.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing for entrepreneurs. When angels are
investing for any reason other than 'make more money', valuations go up and
terms improve.

Seed equity in early-stage companies is on the verge of becoming a Veblen good
- the more expensive and exclusive the deal is, the more satisfying it is to
be able to nonchalantly say "yeah, I'm in that deal."

------
fedd
in the comments there, i showed a misunderstanding of a concept of _lean
startup_ , which, as far as understand, keeps us from paying that big price
(like selling arm and leg and cry in the pillow) for an idea by easy pivoting,
inexpensive concept proving and even failing fast.

if Dave McClure doesnt bother to enlighten me there, maybe i'll get some info
here?

i personally support the OP and have the same attitude to my venture.

------
haploid
The author appears to have wandered into the playground of the idle rich and
is somehow shocked to find that the idle rich treat their toys like toys.

I don't really understand the indignation.

