
Finding Your Soul Mate Online May Be Harder Than the Dating Sites Suggest - elorant
http://nautil.us/issue/35/boundaries/when-dating-algorithms-can-watch-you-blush
======
paulcole
I had little dating experience from high school and college. So when I was in
my mid-20s and had a lot of free time, I spent almost a year meeting women on
OKCupid.

Note that I said, "meeting." I didn't consider initial meetings "dates" which
took lots of pressure off. I thought of OKCupid as a way to meet women who
seemed interesting and who I might end up being interested in dating.

I was able to meet 1-2 women a week, usually for coffee, tea, or a walk in the
park. Most of the time it was just a nice conversation and we went our
separate ways. A few I became friends with, a few I dated, and in the end I
met my partner of going on 5 years now.

Here are my tips: 1) Put minimal energy into each message. Say hi, acknowledge
you read their profile, and ask a question. 2) Set up a real life meeting
quickly. If I got a response, my second message would ask if they wanted to
get together for coffee/whatever. 3) Include as little information as possible
in your profile. Dont try to be funny or over share. It just a gives people a
reason to reject you.

~~~
jim-greer
I totally agree this is the right approach. It seems like people are figuring
this out. 10 years ago I did the Nerve personals (they were syndicated on
various sites, I found them on The Onion)

A lot of women seemed inclined to send a bunch of messages back and forth,
which was mostly a waste of time... You find out much more about actual
chemistry in 10 minutes face to face than in days or weeks of exchanging
messages.

At the time I tended to go back and forth between dates with people I met
through friends, at parties etc vs online dating. Overall I'd say the online
dating pool back then tended more towards introverted people... Seems less
true now that it's become more mainstream.

The people I did go on dates with tended to be highly intelligent though, more
so than the ones I met in real life.

Anyway, I'm happily married now. Good luck out there!

~~~
notaguy
As a woman, I like to send several messages to make sure the guy seems safe to
meet. Sometimes in the course of those messages, I find the guy creepy and
don't meet him. Also even if it's only ten minutes, there's the time involved
in getting to the location to meet, etc.

~~~
narrowrail
Not to be pedantic, but you should meet in a public space the first time no
matter what 'seems safe' to you.

~~~
notaguy
I do. I really dislike the guys who want to go hiking or do something private
the first time I meet them. It's a huge red flag for me.

------
zxcvvcxz
Here's an uncomfortable thought: an effective 1-to-1 mapping between men and
women probably doesn't exist.

The fact of the matter is that women are primarily interested in a top smaller
percentage of high value men (this is called hypergamy). This smaller group of
desirable men would most like to have multiple mates (this is called
polygamy). Marriage, and the accompanying culture and customs, 'corrects' this
by trying to create a 1-to-1 mapping. Both extreme strategies described are
traditionally shamed and discouraged.

Why? Because marriage (monogamous long-term bonding) is good for society. It
incentivizes the largest amount of people to be productive, and reduces civil
unrest by distributing sexual access to women across as many men as possible.
For more on sex and society, check out J.D. Unwin:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._D._Unwin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._D._Unwin)

Now, how this relates to dating difficulties. The fact of the matter is that
people become unhappy in a relationship of any kind when they think they are
getting the short end of the stick, and could be doing better. They'll
rationalize it six ways to Sunday, "my partner doesn't understand me", "my
partner smothers me", "they don't do enough chores", "we don't understand
ourselves", whatever, but at the end of the day they think they ought to have
a better mate, and are fed up with their current one! And oh golly gee, look
at the easily accessible options out there. Swiping for a new novel partner is
so much easier than building anything substantial. Plus they might be better
in bed.

This is especially true of women, who, by pure numerical inevitability,
largely marry below what they would prefer. We know that women initiate most
divorces too, at ~70% (fun fact: among college-eduated couples, that number
rises to 90%). A smaller amount of men end up locked to one person too, when
they know in another world they could have more mates. Such are the sacrifices
for the monogamous society - often referred to as patriarchal, because women
are more sexually restricted.

So in conclusion, what bothers me about articles like this, who delve deep
into rationalizations instead of simple mate value and attractiveness, is the
implication of a 1-to-1 mapping between men and women. Is there a 'Soul Mate'
for most people? Probably not.

~~~
stcredzero
_Here 's an uncomfortable thought: an effective 1-to-1 mapping between men and
women probably doesn't exist._

So why am I not a high value male? I have an Ivy league education. I have a 6
figure income. I'm creative. I'm talented, to the point where I've competed in
international music competitions. I think it's telling that the majority of
the messages I get on Tinder are from east asians.

I've also commented here in the past when I was dating a creole woman, and I
was disappointed in the number of fellow commenters here who rejected the idea
of dating someone apparently based on their race. The US, California, and the
Bay Area in particular are fabulous multicultural societies, in the global and
historical context. However, it's far from colorblind here. I've been racially
an "anomaly" most of my life. The Bay Area is the first time I've experienced
what it's like to be part of a "them."

~~~
zxcvvcxz
I don't know why you were downvoted. It's an interesting question you bring
up, maybe I can offer some perspective. Why do you feel not high value? You
must have had poor experiences on the dating market I reckon.

Here's the thing though. Your valuable traits you've listed imply a lot about
your potential to _provide_ (clarification: survival resources). In a first-
world country where the women have their material resources met, the women
just don't need that provider value as much. Think about it: Bay Area has a
lot of above-average net worth families. Women are highly educated and
employed. So your ability to provide, in and of itself, I don't think will be
very attractive in your environment.

Would it be more attractive to an East Asian from a less prosperous
background? I would think so.

Why is this? Harsher environments change sexual strategies and preferences. I
highly recommend watching this video on r-K selection theory, it most
certainly applies to humans as well on some level:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V06JBpW6O7I&index=3&list=PLM...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V06JBpW6O7I&index=3&list=PLMNj_r5bccUw40CpD-
JYXJyVsDYsj7ITD)

Anyways, what now? Let's say you agree with my premise. I've seen plenty of
guys there. I'm guessing you're a highly intelligent and hard-working first or
second generation immigrant with a technical job. I've seen this pattern a
lot: people like this have trouble with Western women. Well, you need to play
more to social status to differentiate yourself. Things like charisma, social
dominance, preselection (women like men that other women like) are things to
look into. Looking good physically as a man goes a long way as well: get on a
solid lifting / bodybuilding program, groom and dress well. There are plenty
of resources all around for these things I've mentioned.

To summarize: it's 2016 and you live in the Bay Area. You don't need to
provide for women. You need to excite them. You need to differentiate from
other men in attractiveness, both socially and physically. There are certain
parts of the internet which focus on this stuff and have proven results,
though I'll let you search around rather than linking anything here on HN
(though I think someone else in this thread posted a link).

~~~
stcredzero
_Your valuable traits you 've listed imply a lot about your potential to
provide_

I think this is an illustration of the phenomenon, but it's not the phenomenon
you think. Half of the 4 sentences in my self description had nothing to do
with my ability to _provide_. Also, the 1st two sentences had much to do with
my socioeconomic status and implied level of education -- both of which are
sub-cultural markers. Yet you project on me a preoccupation with _providing_.

Growing up as someone _from this culture_ who just so _happens to have this
face_ , I know from both sides the distortion of this culture. We east asian
men are supposedly useful economic and intellectual entities with inferior
aesthetics or souls or something like that. Your projection fits this pattern.

The Bay Area is the same millieu where there was a widespread racist idea in
the dot-com years, that south asians were somehow incapable of the deep
thinking required for creating a disruptive startup. I didn't say that. It's
from the self account of an Indian entrepreneur in a documentary about race in
Silicon Valley. I don't really see this place as having changed.

If you are from the dominant culture, of course you are spinning this in terms
of those complaining being somehow inferior. Not all those who complain are
without reason. If you look at culture historically, this happens again and
again, and it's quite hard to see from inside the dominant culture.

~~~
zxcvvcxz
> Half of the 4 sentences in my self description had nothing to do with my
> ability to provide.

That's why I said _imply_. And yes, of course they do. Good education and
talented == good job == money.

> Growing up as someone from this culture who just so happens to have this
> face, I know from both sides the distortion of this culture. We east asian
> men are supposedly useful economic and intellectual entities with inferior
> aesthetics or souls or something like that. Your projection fits this
> pattern.

My best friends are East Asian men. So I know the stereotypes pretty well. I
wouldn't call it a projection so much as an acknowledgement of how the average
American woman will view you, subconsciously or not.

Anyways, if my post offended you, that was not the purpose. The purpose was to
expose you to the realities of stereotypes and subconscious thought patterns
that women (and perhaps society as a whole) will place upon people like you,
and have placed on people like my friends.

You can complain and bemoan about it, sure, I sympathize. But what I'm trying
to express to you is the simple reality of how mating dynamics are different
in prosperous Western countries, how women will likely view you, and what
types of strategies you could cultivate to increase your odds of success.

And for the record, I think your culture (or type of people, whatever you want
to call it) are very high value. That's why they're my best friends, and my
startup co-founders. But I think society has terrible values (or value
functions, rather) when it comes to social capital and the dating market. Look
at the pop culture to get a taste of how disdainful of engineers and computer
people we are. Always shown as very undesirable. I saw this first hand through
college telling people I was a "computer engineer". 'Gross, not cool at all,
maybe in 10 years though after I'm done partying' was the general attitude I
got from girls, before I started to cultivate different traits.

~~~
stcredzero
_So I know the stereotypes pretty well. I wouldn 't call it a projection so
much as an acknowledgement of how the average American woman will view you,
subconsciously or not._

So you're basically saying, yes, there is bias. Deal with it.

 _And for the record, I think your culture (or type of people, whatever you
want to call it) are very high value. That 's why they're my best friends, and
my startup co-founders._

Please pay attention. I was born here and grew up here all my life. I don't
speak Korean. There was no culture/subculture for me to be a part of. My
family had to drive 45 miles to visit with other asian friends who weren't
even also Korean. Culturally, I'm just an upper middle class American guy. But
almost a half century of experience has taught me that there is something to
having this face, and that I would have to work harder to overcome bias. My
parents just came out and told that to me straight-up, and they were right.
Color blind we are not, and I think it's valuable for me to point it out,
_because it is the truth._

 _' Gross, not cool at all, maybe in 10 years though after I'm done partying'
was the general attitude I got from girls, before I started to cultivate
different traits._

In my case, I think putting my money where my mouth is involves finding one
who is similarly overlooked. My most successful relationships have fit this
pattern.

If one doesn't respect their life-partner enough to be able to sincerely treat
them as a "poet and a genius" then I'm not sure that's a relationship worth
having. In fact, I think that being truly in love in anything less than that
sort of situation is a curse. (Which is a notion some westerners find strange
in Korean culture. Now I think it is wise.)

------
colmvp
I was bullish on using dating apps as I went on a good date within a week of
signing up to one, amazing since I'm on the lower end of the 1-10
attractiveness scale. Realistically, I'd put myself as 2. However, since then,
it's been miss after miss. And it suuuuucks. Nothings more demoralizing than
going weeks without a hit, or having women 'accept' to communicate with you,
only to give uninteresting, insipid responses.

~~~
ramses0
Once upon a time I dated a very good looking girl. I got to see the "before"
and "after" as it took her two hours in the morning to get ready. It gave me a
theory which I call the "two hours a day" theory. If anyone (even a self-
described "2") puts in 2 hours a day trying to look attractive, they will have
some level of success.

That might be 2 hours a day picking your clothes, 2 hours fixing your hair,
brushing your teeth, whatever... short term things.

That might also be 2 hours a day in the gym (physical appearance), or 2 hours
a day practicing public speaking (confidence, crowd control), anything which
helps radiate attractiveness, draw people in so they can see all the things
that make you attractive which don't appear at first glance.

If you're not spending 2 hours a day trying to look attractive or be
attractive, you can't really complain because the most attractive people I
know spend (invest) on the order of that much time to get there and stay
there.

If it's a weight thing, hit up the weight loss subreddits (/r/loseit,
/r/fitness, /r/progresspics, etc) and talk to a psychologist about it. When
you don't take care of yourself it can manifest as weight gain, but the core
is not taking care of yourself which is fundamentally psychological. (ie:
rating yourself as a 2 on a scale of 1-10 doesn't bode well for positive self-
image and self confidence).

Talk to a psychologist about it, seriously. May is Mental Health Awareness
month so it's a perfect time to look into it and take action.

If it's anything else cosmetic (hair, teeth, skin, clothes) that's an easy fix
and a lot of times can literally be resolved in an afternoon if you have the
right instruction (/r/skincareaddiction, /r/malefashionadvice, /r/streetwear).

My email is ramses0@yahoo.com if you or anyone else wants to continue the
discussion (news.y.c messaging isn't the thing I check the most) and if you're
in the Bay Area I wouldn't mind meeting up some time, hanging out and just
talking.

~~~
IkmoIkmo
Hah that reminds me of the pornstar before and after (google it) you see pop
up on Buzzfeed like sites every now and then.

Anyway, this is probably quite close to the truth.

I mean I've had conversations for years in high school about the ugliest and
nerdies guys in my class. We'd basically be going over 'why he wouldn't just
do x, y and z, because he'd go from a 2 to a 6 with a basic change in apparel,
clothing, perfume, haircut, and to a 7 within a year by working out'. I mean
that's what most of the 7s do in this world. I'm no different, really, just a
normal dude who brushes his teeth, showers, mimics a casual hip style and gets
a haircut at a hip place once a month. I barely pay attention to my looks, but
I definitely make sure to get the basics right.

Of course once a year, an ugly person would become 'beautiful' over the summer
vacation and would return to school with a new look, confirming the notion.
Nothing changed about them in those 2 months, except the cut of the hair, the
pieces of clothing, the paint and smell. A lot of the time it was just kids
'maturing' their style for the first time at age 15. Isn't everyone familiar
with that story?

I mean, take all of those makeover shows where they transform someone who's
just horrible... usually the only 'big' thing they do is find a person with
horrible teeth and fix that, which isn't a trivial thing... but that's not
applicable to most people, perhaps a tiny bit of whitening is needed which I
don't think costs much anymore these days. But other than that, it's all just
a few hundred bucks of clothing, a $30 haircut, $30 perfume. Add 2x 60 minute
workout sessions and a decent diet and you're pretty much there.

I think most people who haven't put in any effort, can get a change that's at
least somewhere on this spectrum:
[http://static.businessinsider.com/image/527bdb6969beddec59df...](http://static.businessinsider.com/image/527bdb6969beddec59df1743/image.jpg)

------
Overtonwindow
Online dating drastically simplifies the idea and practice of courtship. It
then overly exaggerates the dating pool, and allows people to superficially
skip through everyone that doesn't overwhelmingly appeal to them. As such, two
people never really get to know each other, and discover if they are
compatible. It has been said elsewhere, and would appreciate the source, that
20 years ago, the majority of people who are married would have never even
dated had online dating been around at the time.

~~~
vvvv
However, divorce rates have dropped in recent years and are lower than 20
years ago:
[http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2010/jan/28/divorce...](http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2010/jan/28/divorce-
rates-marriage-ons)

Could it be that by being more picky, we give ourselves a better chance of
staying together?

EDIT: I found a more recent one with a relative rate vs. marriages:
[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/12011714/Divorce-
rate...](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/12011714/Divorce-rate-at-
lowest-level-in-40-years-after-cohabitation-revolution.html)

It may be that, as the article suggests, the decrease in % divorce rates has
dropped partly due to the increase in social acceptability of cohabitation,
allowing couples to try it out before getting married.

Nevertheless, taking simply divorce rates into account, the situation has
improved from 20 years ago.

~~~
janpieterz
It could be that, but it could also be because we're marrying so much less [1]
which changes the landscape (who marries for what reasons). I'd say that 1000
marriages 20 years ago aren't all that comparable to a 1000 marriages now.

[1]
[http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2010/feb/11/marriag...](http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2010/feb/11/marriage-
rates-uk-data) I know the article is a bit old, the trend is still visible
though.

~~~
tablewatcher
I'd argue the same that marriages rates are down, I'd like to see some stats
on it. The prospect of marriage has no benefits when you look at it
unemotionally. You get marginal tax benefits when you are married but these
are completely offset when the cost of divorce is considered. Its quite a
risky proposition for a young successful entrepreneur, escpecially the
Californian alimony laws.

~~~
meric
In Australia, if you're married as an international student, you can bring
your spouse, and he or she doesn't have to study and have the right to work
full time. That makes it much more easier for both of them financially,
individually to make a foothold in the country. It's one part time income and
one full time income to support two people and one degree as opposed to, if
they were by themselves, one part time income to support themselves studying a
full time degree.

Then later as they achieve temporary and then permanent residency the marriage
can be used to apply for visa for the spouse.

I have met a few international student couples who marry at 20 or 21, and one
of them drops out, for this advantage.

And since they're living pay check to pay check anyway, it's not risky for
either of them.

------
jrs235
That's not why finding your soul mate will be difficult using dating sites.
It'll be difficult because "successful" dating sites have conflicting
interests.

[http://caseysoftware.com/blog/working-for-a-dating-
website](http://caseysoftware.com/blog/working-for-a-dating-website)

------
personlurking
Dating sites and apps might benefit from entering the real world - hosting
meetups with games, quizes, etc to make them entertaining.

One of the problems, however, online or with sponsored offline events, is the
low number of results. Unlikely to happen, but I'd like to see data on the
number of single individuals in a particular city vs how many of them are on a
dating app/site. I'd bet the percentage is really low (barring Tinder in major
US cities). Not to mention a comment I made the other week here on HN about
there needing to be a "def not looking for a hook up" option on an app like
Tinder.

Going further, perhaps the solution is an alternative to speed dating - to
make dating secondary and having a good time primary. Tinder is "I'll show you
the person, you decide what to do next". I'd much rather have a Meetup.com
type approach, so to speak. Provide the good time, based on a certain subject,
where everyone happens to be single and the male/female ratio isn't skewed.
Make the interactions one-on-one, and add to it a comfortable time limit
(10-15 min increments) to ensure rotation. With a higher percentage of single
people using said apps, and sponsored events like these, I see a win-win.

In the end, I don't necessarily expect a soulmate. Just get way more people
using Meetup.com and have single people wear a green sticker on their shirt
(place + single indicator + subject I'm interested in).

~~~
sakopov
Meetups where you slap a sticker on your shirt to let others know you're
single? Do you not think this is just sad and you're trying too hard? Finding
a "soulmate", if you believe in such things, or really just a genuine
connection works best when you're not pursuing it out of pure desperation and
just enjoy your life. I'd made some of the most amazing connections by pure
chance under the most random circumstances when neither I nor they were
looking for anyone.

~~~
cellularmitosis
This is probably great advice for people whom match your assumption of what
"just enjoying your life" entails.

But if "just enjoy your life" involves staying at home and making computers do
interesting things, then this is terrible advice. "Slapping on a sticker" is
much more likely to meet with success than staying at home.

------
jwdunne
Well, there ARE a number of issues:

\- the emphasis is predominantly based on looks and sex appeal.

\- people can take an awfully good looking photo

\- you are more confident online. You can be a person other than who you
really are. With a damn good photo and the mask of the internet, you can be a
dream come true.

\- solid, loving relationships are based on attachment, bonding and openness.
The above factors set off a relationship to a start contrary to that.

That and I think a lot of women face quite a bit of harassment on these sites
or at least used to. That can reduce trust in the platform and perhaps
increase the occurrence of the factors above.

~~~
GFK_of_xmaspast
> That and I think a lot of women face quite a bit of harassment on these
> sites or at least used to.

Still do, there's plenty of examples online, like:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/)

~~~
jwdunne
Disgraceful. I think solving that problem is one huge step a dating site can
make. Though, the old technical solutions to social problems thing comes up.

Perhaps one step is a write up of what you wish to get out of the service.
Over time, find patterns with those write ups and that behaviour.

Interrsring problem.

------
Kenji
I think Finkel raises many good points, but there is one paragraph that
alienated me, which is apparently Finkel's vision:

 _Afterward, you rate your dates. And so does the app’s artificial
intelligence, which can recognize signs of compatibility (or incompatibility)
that you might have missed. At the end of the night, the app tells you which
prospects are worth a second look. Over time, the AI might even learn (via
follow-up experiments) which combination of signals predicts the happiest
relationships, or the most enduring._

Excuse me? I need an algorithm now to figure out who I like and whose
relationship I want to deepen? I need an algorithm to detect my love??
Sometimes I feel like this mechanistic mindset is exactly what is wrong with
dating today. What happened to good old feelings?

~~~
sokoloff
I've been with my (now) wife for a little over 10 years, but from what I
recall of dating, my early/first reactions to someone were not guided by the
same factors with the same weights as my later interactions. (Sexual
attraction/lust dominates early and intellectual/moral/lifestyle compatibility
increases greatly in importance over time, but not in the first few dates.)
There may be a way to optimize that process somewhat, if satisfying and
enduring relationship is the goal.

------
Balgair
I saw a link to the OKCupid blog here earlier, but I think the poster was DV'd
out (linking to /r/TheRedPill is not a good idea). OKC was run by some pretty
good data folks and they have some very well controlled (if dated) stats on
dating. Take a look at this post: [http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-
looks-and-online-dati...](http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-
online-dating/)

Essentially, women don't find men very attractive, but that does not stop them
from talking to them (last graph). Men tend to go for the 9s and 10s though.
Still, your did-I-get-replyed-to rates are comparable regardless of looks.
It's only a 3x increase between 1s to 10s, something a little hard-work and
typing can overcome if you live in a big city.

So, for all the commenters here that are complaining about not getting
replies: It's not your fedora or neckbeard, it's your message content. You may
or may not be coming off as an asshole or a wet-blanket.

remnider: This was from 2009, and the rise of bots (see the AshleyMadison
fiasco) has skewed everything, I'd wager.

------
rsmsky1
When I tried dating apps they showed me people outside my preferences so they
were a waste of time. So I gave up on online dating and dating in general,
it's just too time consuming. I just resigned myself to being forever alone.

~~~
ams6110
You say resigned, so sounds like you're not sure. I do think that some people
are happier without the complexity that a relationship adds to life. If you
feel that way I don't think that's anything to feel bad about.

------
shubhamjain
One thing I am curious about is can an average guy even have a chance with
something like Tinder? From what I have seen from people using the app, men
tend to swipe any woman who is not very unattractive. This implies that,
whoever woman swipe right will give a match with a very high probability.

If I am not wrong, women can be very selective in who they want while same is
not the case with men.

~~~
bmay
Depends on what you mean by "an average guy." Women's taste in men varies a
lot so chances are there will be a nontrivial number attracted to each non-
homely man.

Also, women are probably more selective than men in that they have a lower
(swipe-right/total swipes)% but that doesn't necessarily mean their average
swipe has a higher physical attractiveness among all women.

------
themgt
The research itself seems interesting, I just have a hard time understanding
the applicability of an app doing this for me.

I just went on a couple OKC dates after a recent breakup. First one we had a
fair amount in common "on paper" but there was just no chemistry or ability to
really _click_ in person, but it was perfectly pleasant.

Second date we had arguably less in common but clicked instantly. Maybe an
hour in, she asked "so how's this going so far for you?". I smiled and said
"seems pretty good! you?" and she laughed and agreed.

I guess in the future we'd check an app to tell us how we feel about each
other? Next up: try eating this food and ML will tell you whether you enjoyed
it!

------
kirykl
I think a site like Hotwire for dating could work well. Opposite of tinder. No
pictures only a loose physical description + detailed profile that you can
search on. Pics come after you choose to share, after a mutual conversation.
Have a metric like "95% say pictures reflect description". Award response
karma for downvoted personal messages to check quality there. Use data to
reduce the clutter of traditional online daring, let emotion choose who you
like.

~~~
jeffreyrogers
I think the problem is that you really need to meet in person to figure out if
you're attracted to someone else. One of the main points in the article is
that people don't really know what they're attracted to. I know I've been
really into someone based on what they seem like on tinder or over text and
then had a really flat date with them in person. On the flip side, I've had
people I felt kind of ambivalent about who I had a great time with once I met
them in person. My strategy now is just to use attractiveness as a screen
(since realistically I'm not going to date someone much less attractive than
me) and try to meet for a drink as soon as possible. I'm sure I lose out on
some people who want to move a bit more slowly, but that doesn't matter since
I save tons of time by avoiding people I have no mutual attraction with.

------
stacydeason
very true, one needs to attain proper skills to do online dating and these
skills develop with time, you may not get the desired result in the first
attempt, but slowly you will understand the optimal ways of doing it, some
tips are there that I would like to share with all those who like to attract
their mates online: [https://datetingtips.quora.com/Secret-Tricks-to-Attract-
Some...](https://datetingtips.quora.com/Secret-Tricks-to-Attract-Someone-
While-Dating-Online), these tricks can help in getting closer to the one you
love.

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shams93
Yeah I met my soul mate at a previous job the web was only helpful in finding
the job. Certain kinds of guys can use these sites but the whole structure of
online datong is a jock thing as a nerd i grow on people and the whole swipe
left or right doesnt work for slow cooking a relationship.

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duaneb
If you are looking for anything but sex on tinder, you're gonna have a bad
time. There are very few relevant relationship signals on the app.

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ldom22
In other news, Water may be wet

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fiatjaf
You will not find your soul mate if you're looking for it.

