
Letting go - arm
http://mattgemmell.com/letting-go/
======
donatj
This is one of the most self centered things I've ever read. Modern day
scrouge, "I’m also letting go of second chances. One strike and you’re out."
Everyone makes mistakes, Honestly with that attitude your going to end up
friendless and alone when you need people most. There are better ways than
shutting everyone out. I find this persons attitude incredibly frustrating.
You need people that challenge you in ways you don't like or you really won't
grow or experience life. Shutting out everyone who says things you don't like
doesn't help you, it hurts you. You are injuring yourself by not hearing other
opinions. Believe it or not but you are not always right.

~~~
ambler0
"I’m also letting go of second chances. One strike and you’re out."

This is the part that I came to criticize as well. To me, it doesn't sound
like letting go at all; it sounds like _holding on_ to a grudge.

I excommunicated a family member from my life a while ago. I thought I was
protecting myself and my family, but I was really just prolonging my own pain.
I have since forgiven him and cautiously started letting him back into my life
in limited ways. To me, that's an example of really letting go.

~~~
king_jester
> I excommunicated a family member from my life a while ago. I thought I was
> protecting myself and my family, but I was really just prolonging my own
> pain. I have since forgiven him and cautiously started letting him back into
> my life in limited ways. To me, that's an example of really letting go.

Congratulations on making progress on a relationship that works for you. I'd
like to point out, though, that for many with abusive or dysfunctional
relationships with a family member, stopping contact is the letting go.

------
danso
I find the attitude of "letting go" to be specifically helpful for news.
Unless you're directly affected _at the time of occurrence_ by something like
the Malaysian airliner disappearing, or by a mass shooting...you gain
_virtually nothing_ from being atop the news. You skip all the knee-jerk
reactions and theories, the hours of meaningless jabber used to fill the 24-7
newscycle, the errors in judgment made by first impressions.

I would say you gain less than nothing by following breaking news...you lose
time and attention obviously...but for the most part, you also fill your mind
with what is the very definition of information junk...stuff that, at best, is
"the first draft of history", and at worst, is just the kind of nervous
blather people make when they're anxious and waiting for resolution.

If there was a way to put a "Show me nothing newer than a week ago" filter on
the Internet, I'd probably turn it on by default.

~~~
rikkus
I've been giving up news slowly over the years. When I was young, news gave me
information about the world. I learned about countries and cultures I would
have had little knowledge of otherwise. I used to listen to the BBC World
Service all day every day.

I moved on to other sources, looking for the least bias, the most facts, the
picking of stories that actually mattered (to me); eventually I realised that
I'd never find what I was looking for: Every source became painful to read,
watch or listen to.

So I've given up, for now. If there happens to be news in front of me, I won't
avoid it; It's just that I don't actively seek it or subscribe to it.

Maybe I'll become a news consumer again in the future.

~~~
insky
Yeah I'm a sucker for the news. I'm not wedded to cutting edge news though.
I'd be happy picking up last month's paper. Occasionally I just drop following
it, and don't really miss it. It's easy to cut yourself off or become very
myopic. That's what worries me. Small things can end up having the same
gravity as a hard hitting news story. I can become rather petty.

Wading through comments is hard work. But a little feedback and opinion from
others is good. I only wish it was a genuine sample. My local newspaper's
online edition is full of the same commentators who can't help but comment on
everything posted, with their same negative replies and opinions/agendas. It
can make you feel a little ill; you can start to believe that many people do
hold those views. But, for all I know it's the same girl with ten sock puppet
accounts.

A little real life interaction with others can be quite reassuring and
calming, even if you may end up discussing trivialities.

I do find the radio offers a nice condensed more easily consumable news
bulletin.

------
ccallebs
I'm honestly surprised at the amount of reactionary responses on this thread.
Everyone is so quick to take up arms against this man because he's
systematically eliminating distractions from his day to day. Some people are
making wild jumps from point A to point X -- postulating that he'll be
friendless and alone, telling him that he's selfish, theorizing that it's not
going to work, calling him a robot.

None of us are in Matt's situation. Stop projecting your moral compass, fears,
and/or insecurities on him.

If it works, I envy his ability to cut out noise from the signal.

~~~
mattgreenrocks
The vile lie of social: that we're all 'connected' to one another, when we're
really mostly just typing text back and forth. And most of that communication
is noise, status-signaling, or self-promotional.

It's exhausting.

There's nothing normal about ingesting loads of human opinions on the most
trivial facts several times a day.

~~~
chillingeffect
Thank you for the impressive quote.

I realized this recently while pondering "The Wisdom of the Crowd/Cloud":

Using a (inter)net to fish out all the wisdom of the crowd mainly brings all
the most common opinions up to the level of common sense. It's only additive
to that niveau; it doesn't extend to brilliance. The wonderful human
collaborations, like GNU/Linux? Those are created by a concentrated coterie,
just as most other impressive creations. Surely, the web has catalyzed them,
but they were strong anyway, not the result of amplified ignorance. Expecting
a shotgun approach to advance beyond common sense means using a additional
filter to except those ideas which do not rise to the level of common sense,
and therefore, is more work.

I'm sure humans, pre-media, exchanged numerous opinions about things for much
of their days and evenings, but they weren't work. Work was toil, solitary
endeavors, and collaboration with mostly familiar people and a few strangers
(imagine a marketplace with travelers). Now, with "social media," opinions
have become work, and as you say, exhausting.

~~~
mattgreenrocks
Hope you see this!

There is no "wisdom" of the crowd/cloud. There's only the collective consensus
which is, by definition, mediocre. True progress requires unconventional
thinking and slightly obsessive qualities which are often rejected.
Additionally, the burden of the work itself is extremely unevenly distributed.
(A lot of my OSS work seems more like people requesting features rather than
actually, you know, implementing them for themselves and submitting a pull.)

Another way to phrase this is: show me one great thing the collective crowd
has created. Just one! We have thousands of examples of brilliant individuals,
who, working alone for long (and often seemingly fruitless) hours produce
incredible works of engineering, art, mathematics, etc.

These opinions are slightly taboo; as they cast doubt on the value of our
'connections.'

------
mtkd
Procrastination will always find an outlet.

You've turned all that off then focused on writing a piece about turning
things off - so another outlet appeared almost instantly.

Embrace it - there is probably a reason you are not ready to do the thing you
are running away from - you've probably not finished figuring it all out.

The time spent writing that would have likely been better deployed meditating
or walking.

~~~
vitro
But the writing IS the meditation.. And you can write while you meditate.

~~~
kerkeslager
There's definitely a possibility for overlap between writing and mindfulness
meditation, but not all writing is meditation. If you're seeing this as a way
to multi-task, that's definitely not mindful, and it doesn't fit into any of
the other forms of meditation I know of.

------
thothamon
Seems like he's given up on listening. No wonder it seems so hard to do. He's
got his way and he's sticking with it. Oddly, even whilst plugging his ears
and ignoring others, he says he thinks we too should be like him. So we should
not follow his example and ignore him; we should pay attention to his message.

Shedding the unimportant is actually a really good idea, but I think OP has
taken it too far here by a mile.

------
sergiotapia
Congratulations, you are now a robot. You are optimized, streamlined,
hustling, motivated and focused.

~~~
efsavage
This is all too true. I come at this problem from the opposite end of the
spectrum. I am no misanthrope by any stretch, but I have to actively engage in
things that many others (especially the people who feel the need to blog about
'letting go') find they need to actively disengage from.

I realize the benefit of my position, I can go heads down and be productive
for sustained periods of time at the drop of a hat. But there is a downside as
well. People who are not up on things or who don't interject themselves into
the Conversation may find themselves on the outside looking in and are
terribly _inefficient_ at getting involved when they want or need to.

~~~
mercer
I am the same, and while it's not bad per se, it has its own dangers. If not
for my friends, I'd easily slide into a comfortable hermit existence. And
every time I do, it harms me in the long term and I usually only realize this
when I look back.

Like most other things, I suppose, it's about finding a balance. My 'balance'
probably lies on the 'hermit' end of the spectrum, but I still find that
social engagements are essential in the long run.

While it's possible that some are 'true' hermits or 'true' socialites, I doubt
it.

------
Smudge
I'm a fan of John Cleese's theory of "open" and "closed" modes of thought:

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijtQP9nwrQA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijtQP9nwrQA)

While his idea of being "creative" (as a writer & performer) is perhaps
different than mine (as a programmer), I still find his advice helpful in
giving myself space for creativity. Sure, some days it's best for me to just
buckle down on serious work and crank things out (the "closed" mode, as it
were). But my best work comes from the days when I don't feel the need to
punish myself for making mistakes or for letting my mind wander.

Being in the "open" mode does require freedom from distraction, but it also
requires breaks and must be very clearly time-boxed in order to succeed. I'd
be afraid that, in attempting to "let go" of distraction and procrastination
permanently, I'd be fating myself to a life in the "closed" mode, where
nothing is more important than my productivity and everything (even boredom)
has the potential to get in its way.

------
Marcus316
Perhaps such a ruthless track is beneficial to Matt, and if so I bid him good
fortune. It would be of terrible hindrance to my own productivity, though. I
am at heart a social person. I require a balance of social interaction and
thoughtful solitude to be at my best.

Too much social interaction can overload me with many extra thoughts and ideas
that tend to mish-mash together in my brain and become nothing but flights of
fancy.

On the other hand, too much solitude has a detrimental effect on my focus. Not
only do I start to feel a bit down, but I find that without that social outlet
I will concentrate too much on details that may not even be relevant to my
current task (or even to the project as a whole).

Given a good (reasonable) dose of social interaction, I find my focus gets
into a groove and tasks are just easier to complete, regardless of possible
interruption by colleagues.

Everyone must find their own balance. I suspect that Matt and I sit on
opposite sides of this particular range, or are at least a fair distance
apart.

------
crusso
A few pages that I've found to have helpful themes for this basic problem:

[http://www.fastcompany.com/3022958/the-art-of-letting-go-
how...](http://www.fastcompany.com/3022958/the-art-of-letting-go-how-i-
learned-to-stop-procrastinating)

[http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB1000142405270230393310...](http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303933104579306664120892036)

[http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Seven_Habits_Study_Guide/Quick_...](http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Seven_Habits_Study_Guide/Quick_overview_of_the_seven_habits)

~~~
anathebealio
I love reading articles about procrastination techniques to procrastinate from
work I need to do!

------
thehme
I did the total opposite of what this article discussed; I spent a few minutes
reading this blog post instead of being productive and paying attention to my
work. While there is true value to concentrating/focusing, so we can be
creative and get important stuff done, the author's lack of tolerance for
distractions (good or bad) may be going below a healthy level. Seriously, the
"I’m also letting go of second chances. One strike and you’re out" would make
us a terrible persons.

------
masaladosa
The assertion that this whole argument is built on (and is not explicitly
mentioned) is that creation, or work, is the ultimate goal in life. I believe
the author to be mistaken here and would urge the author to re-evaluate the
truth of this statement before taking some of the more extreme measures the
article mentions.

------
yawz
Coming here... Reading this... Writing this comment... I should let go.

------
PLenz
Dammit - now I have that Frozen song stuck in my head...

~~~
maddisc2
Thanks, now I have that song in my head! :-) very funny!

------
eertami
>I’m also letting go of second chances. One strike and you’re out.

This just sounds so ridiculously absurd it is hard to take seriously.

------
dsego
tl;dr

------
andyl
Let go of the idea that work is so important that you should exclude everyone
that is disagreeable.

------
chippy
Most of the paragraphs of this article begin with the letter "I"

~~~
webmaven
Well, isn't honesty preferable? If he had switched them all to 'we' he'd be
falsely claiming to speak for others.

~~~
rotub
I think he means the letter I, not the word I.

Funny observation, but it's true...plus...if it's not an I it's a T, except
for the last one.

~~~
webmaven
I'm is just a contraction of 'I am'.

------
Lapsa
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHue-
HaXXzg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHue-HaXXzg)

