

Caring for Your Introvert (2003) - mahipal
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/

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araneae
I'm not sure I buy the binary approach to this, nor his experience with
"extroverts."

One, I'm not really one or the other; 23andme quizzes claims I'm extroverted,
Meyer Briggs claims I'm introverted. I actually went around and asked people
in my high school what they thought I was, and all the teachers thought I was
an extrovert and all the students thought I was an introvert. Apparently it's
situational.

And like the author, I often get tired of talking to people. But usually it's
a result of conversing with someone who is extremely talkative. Sure, those
people don't seem to _get_ that you are not into talking... but _not_ because
they're extroverts. It's because they're socially disabled. Only someone who
can't read facial cues will keep chattering away at you. Most people can see
I'm getting weary and will stop.

I think this guy met one to many people who basically can't tell that you're
just not interested in speaking with them, and confused them with
"extroverts."

~~~
j_baker
Introversion and extraversion are preferences, not skills. People who are
introverted can do all the things that an extravert can, they just don't want
to.

It's also possible to develop one even though your preference is for another.
You may just be a well-rounded person in terms of social skills.

To make a long story short, phrasing things in terms of a strict dichotomy is
an oversimplification, but I think it's one that makes this author's point
clearer. It's difficult to discuss all of the ins and outs without making a
piece like this overly complex.

~~~
cracki
they aren't preferences either, because preferences can change easily.

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robryan
One thing for me I guess would be phone calls, pretty much don't like phone
calls unless it's from a small select group of people or is something that
would take many messages to resolve. Which kind of puts me at odds with those
who like to call no matter what over messaging.

It's just those formalities of phone call that put me off, unless your close
to a person focusing just on the question you have can come off as rude.

~~~
rabidgnat
If I feel extra contact with someone is inevitable, I usually try to request
that the person email me some helpful info that I need. If they say they'll
"just call," I point out that [list of people] might find it useful, and joke
that I can't forward them a phone conversation we've had. Some people still
insist on calling, and I let them.

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shadowsun7
I don't get tired by being with people so much as ... feel as if I've lost
grounding - and most of my friends say that I'm extroverted and friendly and
nice to be around with. So I don't know. After a couple of days of going out
with friends I tend to want to come home because I feel too many things are
going on, and I can't think.

Does that make sense? Am I the only one who feels this?

~~~
j_baker
You sound like an introvert to me. Introverts are more sensitive than other
people, so it definitely can lead to sensory overload. For example, I believe
that introverts are affected more by caffeine.

Also, listen to your friends, but take them with a grain of salt. The only
person that can correctly judge your personality is you.

------
Artifex
I used to date this girl who would tell me I was too serious... It was hard
because I didn't have the words at the time to explain myself... Now I do.

Just... Thank you for sharing this.

~~~
j_baker
I think this goes beyond just being introverted. I'd highly recommend picking
up "please understand me" by David Keirsey. It's a pretty good breakdown of
the different personality type and the axes on which personality is measured.

~~~
lsc
what, girls thinking you are 'too serious' goes beyond being introverted? It
seems like a pretty normal experience to me.

~~~
j_baker
I wasn't implying that it was abnormal. I was just saying that it's an
orthogonal issue. More specifically, it's a thinking vs feeling issue rather
than an introversion vs extraversion issue:

[http://www.care2.com/greenliving/thinking-vs-feeling-
which-i...](http://www.care2.com/greenliving/thinking-vs-feeling-which-is-
better-in-relationships.html#)

------
ck2
But would anyone show up at the "Introverts' Rights movement" ?

Or would we just stay home? (lol!)

~~~
Yaggo
Stay at Home Introverts' Rights Movement, SHIRM.

~~~
Zakuzaa
And you know what SHIRM means in hindi? - Shyness

~~~
Yaggo
It seems to be English slang word too:
<http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shirm>

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Scott_MacGregor
Being an ENTJ (not an introvert expert by any means) I wonder if those who are
more introverted would be more comfortable, and thus perform better, with
walls (tall private cubicles) vs. being in a bullpen style development
environment that is favored by so many startups?

Based on the assumption that a lot of developers are INTJ in the Meyer's
Briggs.

Any input on this guys?

~~~
aidenn0
Walls are totally not about introvert/extrovert, it's about the fact that if
you get interrupted for 30 seconds, it can cost 15 minutes of productivity.

Walls make it more of an effort for someone to interrupt you.

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bonsaitree
I love how this article is 7 years old and it keeps getting reposed time &
again. Classic stuff.

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pingou
This article gave me the wrong impression that introverts are geniuses.

They are not, I know, I'm an introvert.

Of course a lot a people here are going to say that this article rocks,
because I guess many people on HN are introverts.

I see no proof, no figure, no statistics on this article, at first I thought
it was some blog post but it seems to be a real article in an actual
newspaper. That's a shame.

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Yaggo
I wonder what is the ratio of intro/extroverts among programmers. Something
like 90/10 I guess.

~~~
a-priori
According to the analysis I posted to a Myers-Briggs survey that appeared here
this summer, about 75% of Hacker News is introverted according to that test.
The INTJ and INTP types alone account for 60% of those surveyed (compared to
6.4% in the general population).

<http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=946249>

~~~
j_baker
I'd argue that HN is a biased sample even among programmers though.

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wallflower
Everyone can be an extrovert on the Internet

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pathik
Excellent article. Hits the right note.

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AgileCyborg
groans...yet another special group.

~~~
j_baker
If by "special" you mean "different", you're correct.

