
Killed my colleagues' characters during RPG session, now they won't talk to me - nl5887
http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/84746/ive-killed-my-colleagues-characters-during-rpg-session-now-they-wont-talk-to
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Chris2048
He was a beginner, it was up to more experienced players and GM to clarify the
nature of the game. Some games are supposed to be ruthless - tell a person
they need to role-play an evil character, and what do you expect?

~~~
andai
There's a few answers in the thread about how he basically revealed a
troubling character attribute to his coworkers.

He acted as though he did not know or care what he did to upset them
(evidenced by not apologising), and they now expect he is capable of acting
the same way in other (professional and personal) situations.

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Chris2048
> He acted as though he did not know or care

So maybe he did not know?

> revealed a troubling character attribute to his coworkers

You mean his, personal, character?

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tnone
"Stop, apologize, until you understand what you did was wrong."

The OPs coworkers are pulling the most obvious high school mean girls routine,
and OP must grovel to be let back in? F that. It's just a game, and instead of
giving the new person some leeway they close ranks. That work environment
sounds terrible, petty and uncooperative.

How about _they_ stop and apologize for being immature children.

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dkersten
It goes both ways.

"It's just a game" \-- a game that the other people were invested in
(emotionally and time-wise: he said that they had already played 3 sessions).
If you spent three multi-hour sessions doing something and then a new member
you invited wrecks it, wouldn't you be unhappy too?

Taking it one step further, he said " the rest was clearly disgusted" and yet
didn't think that maybe what he was doing would be a problem? He could have
simply asked the group at this point.

Sure, the colleagues didn't react professionally, but this guy messed up big
time and seemingly didn't even notice that he did. A very quick and simple
solution likely would have been to simply apologise the next day. "Hey, I'm
really sorry about last night, I thought I was roleplaying my character and
got carried away and didn't realise it would cause heartache." likely would
have went a long way to smooth things over.

~~~
tnone
If they were good sports they could've gotten their revenge in the fictional
realm. Or the DM could've intervened. As explained, there was an unspoken rule
broken, and the response was to escalate to complete silent treatment and
ostracization.

What bugs me most is the idea that OP demonstrated untrustworthiness and
therefor the reaction outside the game is justified. The complete opposite is
true: the clique demonstrated an inability to separate fiction from reality.
If this is how they react, what do you think would happen if something
actually goes wrong at work? Do you think they would suddenly drop the
backstabby attitude, examine things without pointing fingers, and communicate
openly about what needs doing?

I've been down that road before. Complete shitshow. Resentment only builds,
and saving face takes priority over putting out fires. If the company starts
having 2-3 hour vision meetings in times of trouble instead of making action
plans, run away, the cancer has gotten to the brain and is fatal.

~~~
dkersten
I'm not disagreeing. You're absolutely right that the other people reacted
badly or could have done more to prevent things from deteriorating so far.
Like I said, it goes both ways and I feel that either side could have defused
the situation.

But since the guy was asking for help, I think it's fine to focus on what that
guy could do. Perhaps I shouldn't have focused so much on what he should have
done in the past.

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mindcrime
Every D&D group I've played in heavily discouraged, if not outright
disallowed, PC's with "evil" alignments. And we've always played with an
implicit, if unwritten, rule that the player characters do not fight each
other. A certain degree of tension between PC's is fine, but no group I've
ever played in allowed outright fighting within the group. Fighting the
monsters and NPC's is hard enough.

So really, I'd blame the DM and/or the group as a whole for even allowing the
situation where an evil character was part of the PC group.

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namlem
Almost every group I've played in has had evil characters, but PVP has always
been taboo. If you're going to play an evil character, that doesn't excuse you
from being a dick to other players.

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bovermyer
What I'm curious about is why the DM allowed him to play an evil character in
the first place. That almost never ends well.

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rarec
Never, in the history of any of my games, has a chaotic evil character been
anything but a detriment to the enjoyment of everyone in the party.

I'm not saying it's not possible, but there's a particular kind of person who
wants to ruin other people's fun, on purpose. The group is understandably
upset, and I would blame the player for thinking that such an action was a
good idea to begin with. The DM is also partly at fault for not establishing
ground rules and "party etiquette."

~~~
kaspiCZ
It takes a real "pro" player AND experienced DM to pull that off.

I heard a story about such a session where everyone was pissed off, but had
fun all the same.

It's very hard to find balance. The right amount of evil at the right time.
Stabbing everyone in the back during a boss fight would not fly.

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drivingmenuts
This is why I play Lawful Evil, when I play Evil.

If I'm going to be an asshole, I'm going to be an asshole by The Book. The
(unwritten) Book usually has some rule about not sh*tting where you eat, often
phrased much less succinctly.

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halis
Honestly, the DM should have stopped it, but I wouldn't want to play with you
either.

Total dick move. You need to go find a safe space to cry in.

