
The Other Side of Diversity - rouma7
https://medium.com/@ericajoy/the-other-side-of-diversity-1bb3de2f053e
======
whatyoumean
Black engineer here. Fresh out of college, I worked as a developer for one
year and couldn't take it. Interesting work, competent teammates, but that
constant feeling of unbelongingness and "sticking out like a sore thumb" \-- I
couldn't take it. So I went back to (grad) school. I kept telling friends and
family going back to school was a "good career move". I honestly just wanted
to restore my sanity.

Thank you so much for writing this, it reflects my experiences perfectly. I
can only imagine how additionally difficult it must be for women.

~~~
dominotw
At least you were not an only Indian on the team who had to bear the stigma of
a 'job stealing immigrant'.

I honestly wonder if people in this day and age care about the color of your
skin. Isn't that from like the 60's?

~~~
sopooneo
I sometimes go to new jobs and hear comments so egregious that at first I
laugh because I think they are doing a bit and _mocking_ how bad some other
people are. Then it turns out to be in earnest. It's staggering. It's like the
took the over-the-top videos from diversity training, and even further
exaggerated the behavior from the "don't" section.

As a white male I've never had to deal with bigotry with teeth against me, but
I like to think I have enough empathy to at least understand it could be tough
to feel different. And frankly, I would assume that many of us in tech might
have had some awkward teenage years that could help with that mental exercise.
But actually, when I see blatantly offensive stuff, I bet it is due to a lack
of imagination on the part of the offender. They truly can not believe that
what they are doing would make someone feel bad, that it would make them feel
bad if the situation were reversed.

~~~
eitally
I have, as a white male. We have a captive IT office in south India and when
visiting there you really feel like some sort of warlord. [Almost] everyone
looks away, tries to act busy, and you are not included in any of the
socializing... socializing which you know exists because the most popular
place in the office is in the canteen around the tea & coffee machines.

This is not a bitter rant and I have made good friends in that office over the
ten years I've been working with them, but to brush with a broad stroke the
generalization is accurate. I'm sure it cuts both ways, too, when those folks
visit our US offices where there are an ample number of Indians at all levels
(my CIO is Indian, along with three of his directs / my peers, for example),
but who are homogeneously westernized. They understand the south Indian
culture better than anyway, but prejudices are still there.

~~~
sumedh
> [Almost] everyone looks away, tries to act busy, and you are not included in
> any of the socializing

Indian here, that is probably because they might be intimidated by you. I am
assuming that you must be tall.

About socialising, most Indians prefer to talk in their local languages
because they are not comfortable talking in English. If you are part of the
group they are afraid that they will look foolish in front of you talking in
English.

~~~
eitally
Intimidated, sure, but not necessarily because of height. I am tall, but so
are quite a few of our employees (6ft+). English doesn't have anything to do
with it for most, either. It's primarily the "big powerful boss from far away"
syndrome where a strong enough bond hasn't been forged such that everyone
feels a sense of sameness, at least professionally. This is really tough to
build, though, in a culture where job hopping is expected, inflation has been
through the roof, and employees generally hold very little loyalty for their
employers.

~~~
sumedh
Learn some local words, I dont know where your office is located but different
states have different languages.

Indian guys specially love to talk about Indian politics.

If you really want to connect with your Indian colleagues, ask some personal
questions about their life, friends, siblings.

Americans usually don't like to intrude into anyone's personal life but we
Indians have no such inhibitions.

------
seanmcdirmid
As a white male, I have my own related experience to share: I'm the only
foreigner on my team that is otherwise completely Chinese (in China, so that
makes sense); my whole lab has maybe a handful of foreigners, who, even though
not homogeneous in the least, are at least bound together by our foreign-ness.

We generally feel a lack of belonging; some of us try to fit in and are
successful at it, but some of us just live with it. Our management team really
does try to help out, but there is also some pressure to participate in lab-
wide activities that leads to tension (e.g. no, I don't really want to sing,
dance at the gala this year). While working, side conversations are often in
Chinese (I speak Chinese better than most of us, but still not enough to
participate very well), and there are all sorts of comical culture shock
experiences even after being here for 7 years. And really, what can be
expected when the workplace is 90%+ one way? I think our lab handles it as
best as it can.

Here is the twist: there is no pressure to assimilate because well, I could
never be Chinese. But back in the states (or even Europe), I don't feel like I
really fit in either despite matching the ethnic and gender standard. There is
not much to match me to my colleagues, and there is a lot of pressure to
assimilate since at first glance, I should be able to.

~~~
jnem
I can relate. I'm one of three non-Chinese employees in a Chinese-owned
company in California. Like your office, my coworkers converse predominantly
in Chinese. I take no offense to this whatsoever, and in fact have begun
taking Mandarin courses so I can better understand my coworkers.

I'll admit there is a small part of me that gets slightly irritated every time
we go through a hiring cycle and everyone who shows up for the interviews is
Mandarin speaking Chinese-- because it cant be that only Chinese people are
applying for these jobs; the odds don't favor it.

That said, I love my job, I get along with everyone at work, and actually feel
like its a great opportunity to learn about another culture up close without
having to travel across the world like the parent poster.

I guess the point is anyone (white, black, asian, etc.) can be culturally
isolated in any country or company. Some people have an easier time
assimilating, and other still don't ever feel the need to assimilate.

It makes me wonder if there is something unique about "white" culture that
causes "others" to feel more isolated than when the reverse scenario is true.
I've never worked for a man, and have never worked for a white guy, yet I'm a
white guy myself. Beyond the slight irritation i mentioned above about hiring,
its never bother me a bit.

~~~
mahyarm
But with this case, you have a large linguistic barrier that goes both ways.
The experience is only partially simulated compared the article author's
experience, because she did not have any linguistic barriers.

I experienced the 1st generation chinese/russian linguistic barrier myself
too. I think the big reason why is because there is an engineer shortage, or
science grad student 'shortage', so many candidates are going to come from
their social networks, which are probably mostly russian or chinese. They
themselves don't feel comfortable with the external language and culture, so
they associate with people they feel more comfortable speaking with and it
self perpetuates. It only goes away when their children are born in the next
generation, or they are isolated enough that they are forced to integrate.

------
GeneralMayhem
Yet another white, male engineer here. I agree with the "what am I supposed to
do about it" responses. I don't think I'm doing anything exclusionary (my team
does have a lot of non-whites, mostly Indian and Chinese). The guy she uses as
the main example - the teammate who made the domestic abuse "jokes" \- clearly
should be out on his ass with a lawsuit. I think we can all agree with that.
But what exactly do you want the other 99% of us who just happen to have been
born into the majority to do?

One theme from the article that bothered me:

>diversity lightning struck: I was a black woman reporting to another black
woman in a technical role. Moreover, our team was predominantly black.

This sounds like she's most comfortable working only with black people - in
which case, the pleas for all-inclusive diversity sound a bit hollow...

~~~
dang
> This sounds like she's most comfortable working only with black people - in
> which case, the pleas for all-inclusive diversity sound a bit hollow...

Let's apply the Principle of Charity here
([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle_of_charity](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle_of_charity)).
The words you quoted don't say that, and it's easy to find plausible ways of
reading them that don't mean that. Indeed, when you say that something "sounds
like" X, it's you who are adding X, not the author. Choosing that
interpretation in order to dismiss it seems unnecessary, and likely to
polarize the responses. (I mention the latter because of how _un_ polarized
and thoughtful the thread has been—edit: or had been.)

~~~
x0x0
Black is pretty clearly what she means, given her mention of Oakland.

    
    
       I’ve lived several places in the Bay Area: San Jose, Sunnyvale, Santa Clara, 
       San Bruno. All places I didn’t feel like I didn’t belong. I walked around 
       and saw scant few other black women.
    

The peninsula and south bay are very diverse with the exception of black
people. eg san mateo county is 63% white (notably less than the fraction of
the US as a whole), 25% asian, and 25% latino. [1] Santa Clara is similar [2].

Also, from her article, the _sole_ time she mentions being happy at work is
this:

    
    
       our team was predominantly black. I could relate to my teammates without 
       having to conform. I didn’t have to be anything different than who I was and 
       I flourished there. I was mostly happy at work [...]
    

Simply put, she wishes to be around black people and work with black people. I
don't think there's anything wrong with that, but I don't see how you didn't
see that in her writing.

[1]
[http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/06/06081.html](http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/06/06081.html)

[2]
[http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/06/06085.html](http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/06/06085.html)

~~~
codygman
From my experience, if a white person is around lots of people of color,
they're likely to be more welcoming and inclusive of people of color.

So not only could the woman in the story be more comfortable because there are
more black people, but also other races who are typically more welcoming

~~~
x0x0
I think that's true -- but she didn't seem to like nyc either, and I think
you'll have a tough time finding people not comfortable with black folks in
nyc. They're your neighbors, friends, and coworkers...

~~~
codygman
I mean you say that, but nyc has one of the toughest stop and frisk policies
which seem to largely target black men. I think we are talking about a
different kind of comfortable.

I believe in NYC the type of comfort is more forced and the wage gap is
probably much larger. It's more of a "deal with it because I have to" and
being comfortable with black folks because it's easiest, not because they see
black people as equals. My suspicion is mostly because of the support NYC'ers
seemingly have of elected officials that espouse "zero tolerance" and "stop-
frisk" policies.

I'm speculating quite a bit here, it would be nice to here if my theory
matches anyone’s real world experiences with both places.

------
runewell
I grew up in rural Kentucky. People were polite to me but there was always
this strange distance I would encounter when interacting with people, a
distance that my friends never seemed to receive. I always chalked it up to my
personality. I became a bit of an introvert, took on a passion for computer
science, and moved to Silicon Valley after graduation. I fit in splendidly and
for the first time in my life I felt like I was part of a real community. It
was at this point that I started getting asked "Are you white or Asian?" by
many people. It was a completely innocent question but it surprised me so much
that I mentioned it in a conversation with my old friends and to my amazement
they all wanted to know the answer as well. It blew my mind. Here I was, a 22
year old white guy from rural Kentucky, who just found out he was Asian. No
one bothered to tell me growing up, it made me feel both incredibly stupid and
somewhat perplexed. Pieces of my past started falling into place all of a
sudden. All the strange looks I used to get on the field as a little redneck
kid topping tobacco during the summer. The old white farmers at the local BP
station asking me questions about the world as if I held some sort of mystic
wisdom. My ex-girlfriend who would constantly mention how much she liked Asian
guys before we started dating. All of these things and more just hit me like a
bag of bricks and I laughed my ass off for a good 10 minutes. My grandmother
was Japanese and my mom was half but as a child I was a blonde white kid so as
I got older and my hair darkened it never occurred to me that I was anything
else. Now that I'm older I kind of like it. My differences, although
superficial, make me feel closer to my late mother and grandmother who were
both wonderful people.

~~~
beachstartup
i'm fully asian with a white last name. when people meet me for the first time
after communicating with me electronically they're always a little surprised.
although, in my case i can see them kind of experiencing a little cognitive
dissonance, which is fun.

~~~
stcredzero
One of my professors though I was Hungarian. Turns out, my Korean Catholic
name is also a perfectly good Hungarian one, if you don't see the middle one
spelled out.

------
Kronopath
It's really nice to hear such a personal, candid take on the need for
diversity. It's a refreshing change from the politically-charged generalities
you often see written by your typical white male twentysomething in the tech
industry when _they_ write about diversity. Sharing these kinds of concrete,
lifelong experiences really drives home the point of why it's necessary: it's
not diversity for its own sake, it's for the sake of not alienating people
like our author here, people who undoubtedly have a lot to contribute.

~~~
potatolicious
Indeed. I dislike the narrative that diversity is somehow desirable because it
results in [better products|more productivity|better team cohesion], among
many other cited reasons.

These may be true, but it misses the point: personal dignity is a worthwhile
goal in and of itself.

I get that spinning it as a "this is scientifically better and has
capitalistic/rationalistic superior outcomes" may be necessary to appeal to
the self-described rationalists in our industry for whom "because people feel
like shit in this environment" doesn't even register. But it does feel wrong.

~~~
Mangalor
> These may be true, but it misses the point: personal dignity is a worthwhile
> goal in and of itself.

As a black engineer, seeing this maxim put into words really felt like lifting
a weight off my shoulders. It's like, why should we have to "sell" ourselves
to the majority in order to maintain a job? It's 2014, not 1914, we should be
included regardless.

~~~
thanatropism
Everyone "sells" themselves to the "majority" in order to make things work.
There's too much of a "precious tulip" assumption here - I'm sure you're a
great person and all your friends love you, but you just can't be 100% quirks
and doodads at work.

Source: white, will-die-from-lithium-poisoning bipolar, has to keep it
together to make it work at... work.

~~~
potatolicious
> _" but you just can't be 100% quirks and doodads at work."_

Being black is "quirks and doodads" now?

~~~
lsaferite
Here, let me help you out: > As a bipolar engineer, seeing this maxim put into
words really felt like lifting a weight off my shoulders. It's like, why
should we have to "sell" ourselves to the majority in order to maintain a job?
It's 2014, not 1914, we should be included regardless.

------
earless1
I am a black (Haitian and Dominican decent) 26-year-old male DevOps Engineer
living in Atlanta and I can totally understand where she is coming from. I
always try to not think much of it, but somehow there is definitely this
feeling that I don't belong. I could never put my finger on exactly what it is
because I do get along great with my co-workers and have never seen my race as
a hindrance. I just feel like there is no room for the real me, so all my co-
workers get is the side of me I want them to see which is the EDM loving,
Linux ninja that I'm expected to be.

It is feels even worse when I go to a tech conference like the upcoming AWS
re:Invent because I'm usually the only black guy around, but I still
participate as much as possible and even placed in last year’s hackathon.

I hope I don't come off as whiny because I still very much love what I do and
would not trade it for the world. I have met and worked with some awesome
people over the years and have learned so much. Sorry for the mini-rant, I
just wanted to give some of my perspective on the matter

~~~
pnathan
Quite honestly, if you don't mind sharing, what's the delta between the real
you and the expected you?

(Also, how would you characterize 'expected you' as being different from a
'professional you' that we all live with the pressure of in the work world?)

~~~
earless1
I am not even sure how to properly describe it. My friends who know the real
me know that I am more of an in your face kind of person, not in a bad or
menacing way but in a way that may make some co-workers uncomfortable.

I like to have spirited debates with friends, which from the outside might
look like arguing or some sort of confrontation. When dealing with co-workers
or people that I am not very close with I do my best to tone down my
personality.

I am not a small guy and certain people I've come across have even confided in
me that they were for some reason intimidated by me when they first meet me. I
don't think that would be the case if I were not black. not really sure what
that's about

Even little things like the type of music I am willing to admit I enjoy are
different between peer groups.

not sure if that answers your question but that kind of sums it up

~~~
yummyfajitas
I do think it might be the case if you were white. Why? Because I am, and you
just described difficulties I've faced perfectly. I am fairly confrontational
- I believe objective reality exists, we can measure and reason about it, and
feelings should be ignored. I'm also 6'6", currently a cruiserweight but often
a heavyweight. I intuitively think statistically, which I'm told adds to
things.

A very good friend of mine told me she is sometimes intimidated by me. We have
difficult conversations on a stairwell - she stands 2-3 steps up.

In my next job, I'm going to be very careful to work somewhere that shares my
style. In many cultures (e.g. the NY hipster culture) I would be better off
hiding the real me. So I strongly suspect this may just be you (and me), not a
race thing.

Of course, human perception is biased and irrational, so my experience may be
100% me while yours is 50% you 50% race.

~~~
earless1
Thanks for the perspective. I just find it odd that people would find me
intimidating especially other men who are of equal or greater size.

------
stcredzero
What my moving to the Bay Area has solidified for me, is that _we as a culture
do not know how to deal with group psychology._

Really, it's no wonder, because the mechanisms of group cohesion and
ingroup/outgroup distinction have probably been with us even longer than
language has. Furthermore, practically every form of human organization uses
those mechanisms for group solidarity. As a result, we are as ill equipped to
deal with the consequences of group psychology as ancient greek philosophers
were at dealing with aerodynamics. Because no human culture yet has the proper
"mental furnishings" to effectively deal with such phenomena, the best that
most people currently manage is to point out examples of everyone else's
groupthink while being largely blind to our own.

The way that group membership and identification distorts thought is
essentially "bought into" by our language and our culture, to the point that
even our attempts at dispassionate academic examinations of the phenomenon are
colored by the same phenomena.

[http://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/social-
psyc...](http://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/social-psychology-
biased-republicans)

I would like to thank EricaJoy for writing about such experiences so clearly.

~~~
sosuke
Just read through the thread again and I really enjoyed your comments. I just
wanted to say they were well thought out and you've given me the impression
you know your stuff, or are knowledgable enough to form an opinion. I am
neither when it comes to psychology, but I love to read anyhow. Thanks for all
the various psychology links and new reading. This was a long winded
compliment, in case I lost my point along the way.

~~~
stcredzero
At this point, I just know what I don't know. I just rediscovered this page:

[http://lesswrong.com/lw/5me/scholarship_how_to_do_it_efficie...](http://lesswrong.com/lw/5me/scholarship_how_to_do_it_efficiently/)

Really, I'm just embarking on studies around such psychology. I'm beginning to
think that ingroup/outgroup psychology and society's general ineffectiveness
at dealing with it is a foundational problem I was meant to work on.

------
jgroszko
This is probably the most genuine perspective I've read around women and black
people in tech. It is refreshing to read actual experiences and views without
general vagaries. I can only hope that as a white male twentysomething I'm not
contributing to these hostile environments.

As a gay man her self-actualization at the end reminded me of my own coming
out in high school and college. It sucks that some people have such a hard
time coming to a place of self confidence like this, and I suspect some people
who never experience this otherness never have the identity crisis that leads
to it. It's certainly a diffult but interesting and ultimately rewarding
experience having to think critically about your own identity.

~~~
mrottenkolber
> It sucks that some people have such a hard time coming to a place of self
> confidence like this

This. I never fit in anywhere, not because of color, gender or anything
substantial really. I am just crazy stubborn and have a weird set of interests
and world views. It never was a problem for me because I didn't even consider
adapting. It was always an active and conscious choice to choose my own
persona freely.

I think the world would be a better place if everyone had a self-confidence
boost. In our big organized world everybody feels so small and tends to treat
himself poorly, which leads to them treating others poorly who then again feel
smaller.

------
cyphunk
White male engineer here. The isolation described by the author is felt by
many, myself included. Obviously the issue is not a problem with my race or
sex but one still closely tied to a lack of diversity in these environments. I
don't see how any company can claim to be building any component of our future
when its environment can scarcely represent some semblance of actual society.
The IT industry has a serious "bro problem". A problem felt perhaps most
vividly by the minority groups in this industry but also felt, though in a
manner that may be harder to describe and even harder to justify, by many of
the majority group. I doubt anyone here would want to live in a city that is
80% white male, much less have it build our future societies.

~~~
sliverstorm
What is interesting to me is the author describes feeling most at home when
surrounded _not by diversity_ , but by _those like her_. That's the same
reason these companies wind up so homogenous in the first place.

I can't help but wonder if, assuming this is what makes _everybody_ most
comfortable (being surrounded by people like them, rather than being
surrounded by diversity), the quest for diversity might simply result in
cultural balkanization within companies as cultural/racial/gender/social
groups coalesce (thanks to that preference)

That very thing already happens at my employer, with regards to age. The
company has a diverse selection of age, and the result is fairly strong social
siloing _by_ age.

~~~
imanaccount247
This is exactly it. She keeps saying diversity, but what she describes feeling
comfortable with is a homogenous environment, just of people she identifies
with. She didn't like Oakland because it was diverse, she liked the black part
of Oakland because it was full of black people.

~~~
cyphunk
i don't think the author said what you think but, regardless, consider if the
extreme isolation created by the demographic bias of the work environment did
not itself create the desire for the opposite.

------
nemothekid
>He’d say things like “Did you get that bruise from your boyfriend beating
you?” or “I bet your parents abused you as a child.”

Really don't know what to say about this quote. I can understand not being
able to fit in to a homogenous culture, but this guy is just an asshole.

~~~
sunir
The reason this perpetuates is because there is no way to win. Crush this
person on legal grounds (good luck if your HR department defends the company
and not you) no one will trust you again on your team. Let it ride to go along
and get along, you may suffer the reputation of taking it and also have these
attacks used to undermine you on the corporate ladder.

Brutal and disgusting.

~~~
nemothekid
This shouldn't be about winning some battle. It's not illegal to be an asshole
- I can walk into your workplace and say "sunir's spouse is a complete idiot
and shouldn't be allowed to reproduce." Likely though, I wouldn't be working
there much longer. Simply put the guy is toxic and it makes me sick that it
was swept under the rug. It further confuses that this happened at Google as
I'd never imagined their culture tolerating a toxic work environment. Even
worse if it was swept under the rug because she was a black woman.

~~~
mrottenkolber
Why do people expect Google to have a good culture? I really don't get it.

* Huge company

* Misanthropic "products"

* Based in a notoriously capitalist country

Sure that must be a great place to work.

~~~
AnimalMuppet
If you're going to disqualify every company that is "based in a notoriously
capitalistic country", then your bias against capitalism is so strong that
it's over-riding your ability to judge a workplace on its merits.

For that matter, if you're that strongly against capitalism, doesn't the idea
of a corporation itself offend you? It's not just the country it's based in.

~~~
mrottenkolber
It was just one of three points. How about:

* Small company

* Vegetable farming

* Based in notoriously capitalist country

I can see working there.

> strongly against capitalism

Actually I am rather embracing capitalism, which is weird, because one must be
an idiot to not have very very very strong feelings against the meat grinder.
To you US guys this may sound off, but the somewhat educated human being does
_not_ think capitalism entails freedom. In fact it is common knowledge that it
causes general loss of humanity, democracy and quality of both life and
dreams.

So consider this a "for the record": Of course capitalism is a big no-no (well
duh). But if your living in a capitalist country anyways, you might consider
avoiding big companies because they tend to make use of all the benefits
capitalism entails them to.

> For that matter, if you're that strongly against capitalism, doesn't the
> idea of a corporation itself offend you? It's not just the country it's
> based in.

It might make sense looking up "capitalism". A corporation in itself is not
really related to capitalism. Instead, its system of profit-by-property (the
capital) instead of profit-by-labor is usually pinned as the core concept.

------
smtddr
_[American-born-Nigerian male, in tech, in SF]_

First, once again HN has impressed me with its overall positive reception of
this article.

Anyways, that East Bay comment rings so very true for me. So many times people
ask me _" Do you feel safe in East Bay? You're in Pittsburg? Aren't you
scared?"_ This was extremely common with my at&t coworkers in San Ramon,
California. I've been there for like 10 years; nothing has ever happened. Not
even minor. Eventually, I started to take note of the people who were asking
me those questions and I realized why they might be uncomfortable with East
Bay. They probably had no experience with it and only heard things word of
mouth from their circle of coworkers & friends.... which usually don't have a
minority in 'em. One evening one of them, a lady, even admitted to me that: _"
You know, you're the only black person most of us really know."_

There are a bunch of examples of generalizing a whole area as dangerous when
only really specific sections are of concern. Usually because the people doing
the generalizing have no direct experience with the place, or maybe just one
bad experience from one time they were there... or they just keep hearing
stuff on the news that loves reporting negative stuff.

Mexico, Oakland, Africa, ...etc...

As for the workplace-vibe thing, I suspect being a first gen American-Nigerian
gives me a different perspective than an African-American. I don't think I'm
in the same situation or feel the same things as the author, but I do
understand what she's saying.

------
spydum
what can we do to help? If the answer is hiring more diverse employees for the
sake of their ethnicity/cultural backgrounds, we need to accept that it
involves a compromise. You no longer are opting to choose based on
cost/performance of the employee. are we seriously okay with this? Isn't that
demoralizing to the new hire? Now every moment, they are wondering if they got
hired because of who their parents are, versus whether they earned it or not.

Perhaps the real problem is not the corporate culture not catering to the
employees, but the employees needing to mature a bit and learn to be
comfortable with themselves regardless of social pressures. You will not
always fit in culturally with your coworkers. That is just life. If you
prioritize this in your own life, that is great and good for you! That is your
choice about who you choose to work for (and where).

However, in the article, as I stated elsewhere, the poor management and lack
of HR follow up is horrendously unacceptable. Nobody should tolerate
harassment at any level.

~~~
InclinedPlane
This rests on the assumption that hiring and interviewing is meritocratic.
It's not, it's a hugely flawed system. And in the valley there is a HUGE
preference towards "fit". So much so that some companies even prioritize "fit"
as a primary hiring criterion.

That is a major part of the problem. The solution isn't to start prioritizing
"diversity" when hiring folks, the solution is to avoid hiring just within
your narrow comfort zone of people who are like you. And that includes people
with different life experiences, educational backgrounds, etc. as well as
people with different cultural backgrounds and ethnicities. Mostly that's just
a matter of becoming a better, less biased, more objective interviewer.

Another factor is acceptance and prejudice. Keep your own prejudices in check
and police other folks. When you see or hear of instances of people being
insensitive or of excluding someone based on their cultural or other
differences, act on it, and help fix it. If you want women to be part of your
team, then maybe don't consider having a meeting at a strip club. You'd think
that sort of thing is a no brainer, but especially in the SV world full of man
children who have discovered there are no rules other than the ones they
impose on themselves, it can be a bit of a problem.

~~~
yummyfajitas
Suppose we adopt a more meritocratic system - base hiring decisions mostly on
code tests, github accounts, and similar things that are almost entirely based
on performance.

(I mostly do this already. When I do a 1 hour interview, I have a ladder of 4
standard questions I ask, followed 1 question about a topic on the person's
resume that I understand well. Just to see if they really know what they claim
to know.)

Would you be happy with such a process? Note that most SJWs (at least, the
pro-female SJWs, who rarely discuss race) tend to oppose this sort of process
on the grounds that it will result in fewer women.

~~~
owenmarshall
> github accounts

Hiring by github/open source contributions mean you're selecting for
programmers who have ample free time and an interest joining the
overwhelmingly young, white, and male open source community.

You're going to filter out women, black people, and anyone with a family.
You're also going to filter out people who are bound by nasty non-competes, or
even people who just don't like to program outside work.

It's a tough one: you can clearly see how people navigate communities and get
a much more in-depth picture of their development process, but you're also
leaving people out that don't fit the mold.

> Would you be happy with such a process?

Until someone figures out how to do a blinded interview, focusing strictly on
applicable skills and being conscious of bias is as good as it'll get.

~~~
yummyfajitas
No one is filtered by anything other than their own choices. There is nothing
preventing a woman from using github - github doesn't even ask about gender or
race.

~~~
InclinedPlane
I use github, I've put hundreds of hours of work into projects on github. But
you can't see that because those repos aren't public. Could I, in theory, work
on some open source projects on github? Sure. But to be honest the main reason
to do so would be job related, to use github as a CV. Personally I think my
time is better spent working on the projects that I already have going on (one
of which is software dev for a charity that helps sick children) or starting
on projects for my own business. There are plenty of good reasons for people
to not have tons of contributions to open source projects on github, and
ignoring that fact does nothing but artificially restrict your talent pool.

~~~
yummyfajitas
If I see good code, I know that (absent some sort of fraud) you are a good
coder. That's a pretty solid "lets talk". In numbers, I'll interview 3 people
with good code and maybe hire 1.

If I don't see good code, you put yourself into the same category as all the
bad coders out there who can't code. I may need to interview 10 or 20 people
before I find someone decent - I simply can't differentiate between you and
them without spending hours on code interviews.

Obviously I'm going to talk to the people with visible code first, and only
hunt for the needle in a haystack if I get desperate.

------
TheMagicHorsey
Do Indians have similar negative experiences working in predominantly white IT
teams? I have many Indian friends that work in all-white teams, in middle
America, as well as in the Bay Area. Are they keeping their complaints bottled
up, or do they have a fundamentally different experience?

~~~
brandonmenc
Indians don't have the baggage of having been slaves, then poor and
disenfranchised, in this country. They're judged by whites in a completely
different way because of it.

~~~
treehau5
But they do have that baggage from their own country. The feeling of
disenfranchisement is universal, and it doesn't matter where it comes from.

------
pcunite
In the eighties my parents moved to an all-black neighborhood in an apartment
complex. I felt like such an outsider and scared. I got into fights (full on
punching). I was between 6-7 years old and actually wanted to be black because
they did not have to get a tan like I did!

But I was starting to build a dislike for them. Thankfully my mom set me
straight. She let me know that when groups of the same people get together
they have trouble with someone who is different. We were the minority. My mom
never allowed me to be racist. I thank her so much for that.

A world with all women in charge would be abusing men. A world with all purple
people in charge would be abusing whites. A world with 50% on one side and 50%
on the other ... would be a world in constant conflict. Humanity is not (as
you might have been told) "basically good".

The source of racism, anger, war ... is people.

~~~
q845712
i believe there's goodness in everybody- part of the challenge is structuring
your own words+actions in a way that affords them a response that contains
some measure of kindness or compassion. This is what the author of the post
was doing by prioritizing getting along with her team; of course another part
of the challenge is allowing others to be what they will be without being a
doormat or adding to your own suffering. Super great that OP was able to
recognize and commit to her own happiness.

I mean we all fail, again and again, but that doesn't mean most of us don't
want to be "basically good", or are incapable of being "basically good" at
each moment.

~~~
AnimalMuppet
How about I split the difference?

"All people have good in them." OK. I can accept that as a true statement.

"The source of racism, anger, war ... is people." Also true. One might even
say "All people have bad/evil in them."

"Basically good"? I can't go that far. I mean, do you watch the news much?
There's a fair number of "not basically good" people.

Worse: I am not immune to being one of the "not basically good" people.

~~~
ams6110
The news generally only reports about bad people. The stuff good people do
isn't interesting.

------
facepalm
I sense a problem in that she actually "belongs" to a minority - meaning how
can she expect not to be a minority at work? Or at least, why blame the
workplace? If it bothers her, maybe the only option really is to move to a
place with different demographics?

Edit: thanks for the downvote. My question is serious. Since she is part of a
minority, even in a perfectly diverse workplace she will still be in the
minority. Hence the diversity movement won't fix her problem. (Just looked it
up: "Blacks and African Americans" are 13.5% of the US population. So in a
SCRUM team of "normal" diversity she will be the only Black woman. According
to Wikipedia, a SCRUM development team consists of 3-9 individuals:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrum_%28software_development%...](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrum_%28software_development%29)).

~~~
sarciszewski
I don't have enough karma to downvote, but I can wager a guess as to why the
person who clicked that arrow did so:

Your post, as it is worded, can be misconstrued to sound like otherism.
"You'll always be different, minority!" And you prefaced it with "I sense a
problem in that..." so it can be read as blaming her for what race and gender
she was born as.

Or I'm totally off-base. But since the person(s) who downvoted didn't comment,
I guess we'll never know.

~~~
facepalm
Thanks - that is of course not at all what I meant. I actually checked her
article to see which word she used (which is minority) because I am not sure
what is correct in the US. I meant minority strictly in a mathematical sense.

~~~
eropple
In the United States, "minority" is often used as a crude stand-in for
"against which society is often biased". For example, "women and minorities"
is a common grouping-together despite women having a percentage majority in
the country.

~~~
pluma
This is actually so prevalent I've heard people say "minorities, like women"
in contexts where the term "minority" is definitely not used in a relative
sense (i.e. they were really referring to a group that represents roughly half
the population as a "minority"). It carries a lot of political baggage.

------
coffeemug
_> I know this: I am not my job. I am not my industry or its stereotypes. I am
a black woman who happens to work in the tech industry._

Just be a person. If you're a techie, a black woman, a white man, a gay man,
etc. you have to start asking "what does it mean to be a techie, a black
woman, a white man, a gay man, ...?" Regardless of the label you pick, you'll
end up denying your own feelings and impulses to fit in with the category you
choose to associate with. Some categories are more comfortable than others,
but the more comfortable the category, the more people expect from you, and
the more of yourself you ultimately have to deny. You are who you are, and you
feel what you feel. Your own truth ought to be enough.

~~~
jiaaro
Easy to say for us straight, white men.

We've all been in situations that are uncomfortable, that's not news. But
imagine a time when you suddenly realized you were the only white person in
the room, or the only man in the room. That feeling of, "wait... am I not
supposed to be here?"

I agree that we _ought_ not to even notice, and I especially agree that we
(all humans) shouldn't care. But in real life people do notice, and it's hard
not to after someone points it out to you :/

~~~
mahyarm
Statistically, there's a pretty good chance he would be asian instead.

It's something like %60 white (which can be as varied as middle eastern,
russian, western european immigrant or american, all very different) and %30
asian. Then it's about %4 black and %4 latino.

In the usa, the numbers are around %64 white people, %13 black, %15 hispanic
and %5 asian. Most tech companies match the % of whites as the rest of the
USA, it's the asian, black and latino numbers that do not match. Blacks and
latinos would have to triple and the asians would have to be divided by 7.5 to
match the us numbers.

------
whycat
White, male here. I moved to the US 3 years ago.

I worked at a rather "diverse" company.

3 White Males (2 of them foreigners from Europe, including myself)

1 White Female

2 Black Males

2 Black Females

2 Hispanic Males

1 Asian Female

Diverse, not because we had some HR person make sure we can write a cute blog
post for HackerNews on how great our "diverse workspace" is., but because it
just came into place like that.

We all shared the same office space. I never felt uncomfortable and neither
did anybody else (not that i know of). We all got along very well. Coming from
Germany, i got thrown a Nazi joke a few times. I know how it was ment and how
to take it.

Or as a fan of old school hip-hop, i found myself at concerts with a 80% black
crowd. Did I, in that moment, realize that i am "the white kid"? Yep. But
guess what: I don't care. I don't go on HackerNews and cry about it.

Overall: if everybody could stop being so sensetive. Grow up. People are
different. Some people aren't nice. Learn to deal with it.

> I did what I thought I had to do to survive in the environment. I once again
> donned the uniform to fit in. Jeans, “unisex” t-shirt, Timbuk2 messenger
> bag. I stayed late playing multiplayer Battlefield, I quickly learned a
> bunch of classic rock songs so I could play Rock Band and Guitar Hero with
> the team, I don’t like beer so I went out to beer taverns and drank water.

The only person that is making you uncomfortable are you yourself. Really,
wear what you like, play whatever you like, listen to the music you like.

In the case of the guy with the domestic abuse "jokes": that is a total
different thing. That's not being racist or sexist, it is just being an
asshole and legal steps against that guy should be taken.

~~~
pluma
Humour is often used to find a common ground. Humans are very uncomfortable if
they don't know what another person finds appropriate or not. Faking it isn't
the best way to respond to that because it gives the other person false data.
I'm not going to defend the "bruises" guy because I have no idea what the
context was (though I doubt the context makes it any better), but if you
desperately try to fit in, that's a problem.

Of course there's no point in blaming the victim. Most teams don't have an
inherently inclusive culture. Maintaining your differences when you join an
otherwise homogeneous group is _hard_ and most of us (probably women even more
so than men, because culture and testosterone) were raised in a way that makes
us think trying to give up our identity in order to fit in is the right thing
to do because it reduces the potential for conflicts.

Ideally teams should be inclusive. That is difficult, because it goes against
much of human nature (othering and tribalism used to be a good evolutionary
strategy). Sometimes getting it right can be impossible. But it's worth
trying.

There's two sides to this issue and both are difficult to fix. But we need to
understand that they both contribute to the problem. This problem is deeply
ingrained in our culture and in our natural psyche. It won't go away just
because we tell people to stop doing it.

------
ylem
I have to start by saying that I’m incredibly impressed not only by the
article, but by the level and tone of the discussion here. I am a vegetarian,
agnostic, non drinking, black physicist. Like many of you, I grew up reading
fantasy and science fiction. I loved playing video games (I started with the
C-64 and also wrote some of my own) growing up. Like most of you, I was also
advanced in math and despite growing up in a college town, felt isolated, but
it could have been much worse! Like some of you, I also took my first graduate
courses in physics and math at 18. Unlike some of you, I’ve also experienced
racism (police stops, being asked if I’m in the right neighborhood, etc.).

At least for a number of physicists, mathematicians, and other technical
folks, I would say that I’m fortunate to share a certain sense of humor and
certain bit of “geek” culture. One of my coworkers recently threw a halloween
party and there were a number of crypto-costumes. One of my friends/coworkers
(who incidentally grew up on a farm) was a gnome of the resistance who was
wearing an armband which represented 1 Ohm. My point is that within any
culture, there are shared jokes, references, etc. that someone not from that
culture wouldn’t get. I think that is part of the difficulty that the OP
faced. My impression (which could be wrong) is that while she was extremely
willing to explore the culture at her workplace, it was never really hers.
Rather, it was an imperfect mask that she put on to try to get along with her
coworkers.

Also, as a black woman, I think that some people probably feel comfortable
saying some things that they would not feel comfortable saying to me as a
black man (I have another friend who is a female black physicist and she has
encountered far more overtly racist statements from people than I ever have).
Some people have asked what they can do as part of the majority culture to
make minorities feel more welcome. One thing I would suggest is shutting down
outright hostile individuals hard. There are some people who are just
ignorant. For example, when I was traveling once through a small area in
Mexico, a young girl told me she never had seen hair like mine and wanted to
feel it. I thought this was rather innocent (though probably wouldn’t make
sense in a workplace setting.) and let her. I was fortunate to briefly study
abroad in Japan (Hikone) when I was middle school and a number of people
(adults and children) had strange ideas about blacks in the US, but it was
easy to talk (well outside of the language barrier :-p), but I think there is
a clear dividing line beyond someone who is just curious, or misinformed, as
compared to someone who is creating a hostile work environment (such
individuals should be fired). If one looks at the social networks in the US,
there are a number of people in the majority culture who have had little if
any significant social interaction with a number of minorities, so there is
naturally a great deal of ignorance and confusion. As minorities, I think we
can expect this--but on the same hand, I can understand how some people feel
tired or awkward explaining things over and over again to clear up
misconceptions. Perhaps the easiest way to understand a bit of the feeling is
to spend some time in a place where you are not in the majority. For example,
some white friends who have lived in Japan for extended periods of time have
felt a degree of isolation there. Some other posters have mentioned their
experiences as being part of the minority and the isolation that has resulted
from that. One other thing that people in the majority could do to help would
be to actively challenge their subconscious. For example, there is the halo
effect in which people transfer one positive attribute (beauty) into others
(ex. intelligence). Looking at a number of the talks on Altman’s startup
school, a number of early founders hire their friends. Then, in some cases,
they hire friends like them. In some sense this is natural. But due to network
effects, (a number of people in the majority may have few if any minorities in
their network) this can result in minorities having few opportunities to enter
these startups at an early stage. If applications come in from outside of the
network, consider them. Also, while it’s great to socialize with your
coworkers and feel that they’re someone that you would like to socialize with,
I think that it’s important to make room for people whose social activities
are different. This also becomes important when it’s time to make promotions,
give raises, etc. Also, critical information shouldn’t only be available at
social gatherings. It’s not easy, but I think it will make it easier to
include people from different backgrounds. Though at the workplace, people
should definitely be able and willing to work well with their teammates.

I think it’s also important to establish a culture in which differences are
accepted. For example, I’m a nondrinker--I don’t push others not to drink, but
also don’t like others to try to push me to drink (the same goes for religion
and diet). I think that managers and early employees can set a tone that it’s
ok for people to do their own thing and still be accepted. It seems like the
people at the workplaces that she was at did try to include her in activities
that they found enjoyable, it’s just that these were not activities which she
truly enjoyed. This can be a challenge--I think for a number of us, there is
an increasing overlap between our work and social lives. We spend long hours
with our coworkers. We go to parties at each other’s homes, we do activities
like hiking, gaming, happy hours etc. together. In these contexts, we
inevitably talk shop and talk business. If someone doesn’t attend these
activities, then they will miss out on this. On the one hand, merit can still
be recognized, but on the other hand, some people could be left out of the
loop. I will say that a number of people at my workplace try to organize
family friendly activities outside activities, but depending on the size of
the company and the relative ages of people, it’s easy to see how young
parents could be left out given their time commitments.

Some people have remarked on her statement of feeling at home in Oakland
because there were more black people there, or on teams that were more
diverse. For those of you who have lived for extended periods outside of your
home country, have you ever missed something from back home. Perhaps the sound
of your native tongue (for a number of blacks, the dialect that is spoken at
home can be different from that spoken at work)? A particular dish? A certain
set of shared assumptions based on common experiences? I think that this part
of what she feels.

For her though, I would suggest that she try to assimilate less. If you’re a
unicorn, own it. I think trying new activities is great. But, putting up with
racist and sexist jokes is ridiculous. I think that she would have been
happier if she made it clear that she was fun and easy to get along with and
willing to do activities like gaming with people and to be social. But, she
should draw the line at dealing with some types of behavior. I don’t know what
her job and life situation were like at the company where she had to deal with
the truly racist guy who was creating a hostile environment, but if HR
wouldn’t get involved, then she should have moved up the command chain or
left. There are some environments that simply aren’t worth being in (I realize
that not everyone has the luxury to make such choices).

I will say that my current workplace gets a lot right. People like working
there and for the most part my coworkers play well with others. They are
smart, but I think that is part of the hiring decision--you might be able to
afford a small number of people who can only work alone, but at least for us,
you really need to be able to work with other people. Also, a lot of
individuals make efforts to have social activities where they try to include
other people (instead of just small cliques). It’s not required, but it’s nice
--especially since we have a large international population who doesn’t have
family in the area--even most of us who are domestic are transplants from
other states and cities.

I really hope things work out for this young woman!

~~~
Mimu
Your "hair anecdote" is funny, the exact same thing happened to me when I was
in Cameroon. I'm white, two kids approached me after looking at me like they
never saw a white man before (which might have been the case) and then asked
the guy with me (local) if they could touch my hair.

That was unexpected but funny ahah.

~~~
natar
Don't take this too personal please but I think this is exactly how privilege
works: For you it was funny because it happened to you once when you were on
holidays. Now imagine this happened to you over and over, hundreds of times,
since you were little in all sorts of contexts, at school, uni, work, on the
street, at parties, friends, colleagues, people you don't even now. I think it
gets less funny pretty fast.

The point of the OPs anecdote was that if a child who really sees an Afro for
the first time does this it's okay. But grown-ups (who even if they only have
contact to other white people are able to read up on those things) should know
better.

~~~
Mimu
I agree with you 100%, I wasn't trying to argue with the OP point, just
reading this make me remember a funny moment that I shared. I wasn't trying to
argue or disminish anything.

------
peterwwillis
First of all, thank you to this person who wrote this, this story needs to be
told more often.

 _" I know this: I am not my job. I am not my industry or its stereotypes. I
am a black woman who happens to work in the tech industry. I don’t need to
change to fit within my industry. My industry needs to change to make everyone
feel included and accepted."_

Two things i'd say about these points:

1\. You don't need to change to fit within your industry, but you do need to
be proactive about protecting yourself, your rights, your individuality, etc.
You can not expect anyone else to fight for you. Of course your company and
its employees should treat your fairly and with respect, but you should never
just expect it: you should demand it. And that applies to everyone.

2\. No industry will ever make everyone feel included and accepted. Even when
there's a perfect racial/gender harmony, or hell, even if it was just all
white males! There's still plenty of people left over who feel like they're
not being included or accepted. Our industry should work to foster tolerance,
acceptance, equality and respect for all people, but they're never going to
make everyone feel like they fit in.

~~~
pessimizer
>You don't need to change to fit within your industry, but you do need to be
proactive about protecting yourself, your rights, your individuality, etc. You
can not expect anyone else to fight for you. Of course your company and its
employees should treat your fairly and with respect, but you should never just
expect it: you should demand it

I'm not sure that you're appreciating the amount of energy that takes, year
after year, and the level of hypervigilance and anxiety that entails, for an
indefinite duration. That's largely what the blog is talking about, to me.

All of that energy expended just because of _what_ you are. This is before you
tackle the problem that everyone has to go through - asserting _who_ you are.

------
diversewhat
I work as a consultant and am at a different company more or less every week,
as a result i've made a couple of observations.

As a temp/contractor, its hard to get to know people in an organisation when
they know you'll only be there for a week, you might have lunch with the team
one or two days, but for the most part, you'll spend a lot of your time on
your own.

In larger companies (I primarily work in IT environments) that are more
diverse (in Australia anyway), ethnic groups stick together and speak in their
native tongues. I've sat and watched a group of Indian guys/girls chat in
hindi in a circle over lunch, a bunch of Chinese guys sit and chat in Mandarin
while a table full of Japanese people do the same a few meters away and the
two white guys (who I don't know/haven't been introduced to) sit and don't
talk. What's more, no-one interacted with anyone else at all outside of their
little groups.

I personally find that really bizarre and I wish i could change it somehow but
as i'm not even involved with the organisation other than as a contractor, its
quite removed from my role.

~~~
seanmcdirmid
Strange: when I visited our office in Bangalore, I saw most people talking in
English at lunch since India has so many languages and you aren't likely
interacting with someone from your part of India (most Indians don't speak
Hindi).

~~~
diversewhat
Might just be a cultural thing in Australia. Really not sure. That being said,
in smaller office environments, the opposite is true i've found, everyone is
very accepting and quite diverse both in gender and race without any cliques
forming.

------
ExpiredLink
Reminds me of the Oprah Winfrey story some time ago. She tried to buy a luxury
handbag in a shop in Switzerland (Winfrey is hardly known in Europe, BTW). The
shop assistant treated her badly and Winfrey interpreted it as racist. It
turned out that shop assistants there treat all customers badly 'irrespective
of the person'.

~~~
codygman
"I go into a store and say to the woman, 'Excuse me, may I see that bag over
your head?' and she says to me 'No, it's too expensive.'"

[http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/09/world/oprah-winfrey-racism-
swi...](http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/09/world/oprah-winfrey-racism-switzerland/)

------
AndrewKemendo
_The result was that I avoided the one place in the Bay Area I could go and
feel not so different. It never dawned on me that the people who were telling
me not to go there were the people who might go there and feel uncomfortable._

Oh man, this is exactly what happened to us when we moved to D.C. Everyone we
knew said "Oh, you don't want to live in Prince Georges County, it's _bad_
there." When we realized the people who said that look very different than the
PG county demographic, it became clear what their reservation was.

This article really hit home to me as well though because as a mixed race guy
I never really fit in anywhere, but can kind of blend in no matter where I go
- a double edged sword. As bad as it sounds, my father (black) was the one who
self assimilated into white culture from birth (he was adopted) such that I
grew up just assuming we were white, especially given that my mother is white.

When I look back on it, that was a huge benefit in some cases where I feel
comfortable in the (largely white) networks of power and elitism, but also
makes me feel like it kind of cedes the game.

At the end of the day though, I don't identify as any race or culture other
than "American" and with that approach I almost never have issues
assimilating.

------
tuxidomasx
Wow, so many insightful comments here. I'm a black engineer and can relate to
a lot of what was said in the article. However, I learned early on not to
compromise myself to try to fit in. Instead, I knew the importance embracing
one's cultural community and always sought out like-minded and like-cultured
groups with which to associate, as was suggested by Woodson in the "Mis-
Education of the Negro."

Upon entering the workforce, it was much harder to find that sense of
community, so I started a black social network in my spare time so that I
could still have that exposure. During the day, the only other black person I
saw at my job for 6 years was the janitor. And I had a better relationship
with him than the people I actually worked with...

My perspective is that it's much more enjoyable and easier to thrive in a
culturally homogeneous environment. And that it's challenging to be a token
member of a culturally diverse environment.

A decade of being a minority in technology has crystallized my opinion on the
matter; I don't believe that taking a homogeneous group and tossing in a few
minorities is the best way to embrace diversity.

Instead, I am a proponent of encouraging the creation of a diverse set of
culturally homogeneous groups. And yes, I realize that what I'm suggesting is
basically segregation. The difference is subtle, but all the issues Erica
lists in her article can be addressed by this shift in diversity strategy.

To paraphrase: As a black person, I would rather be part of a mostly-black
team/company than be one of the few black faces in a mostly-non-black
team/company.

------
sarciszewski
Thanks for writing this. I'm sorry you had to go through all that and will try
(despite cognitive biases being hard to self-correct) to never contribute to
anyone experiencing the same sort of behavior.

And that's really all I can offer without risking dishonesty.

------
Pxtl
So the obvious question for us white-guys running the team is "what the heck
am I doing wrong?"

I mean, if there's a complaint - I should tackle that. If I hear something, I
should say something. But half the posts here are discussing nebulous feelings
of "unbelonging", and I have zero idea what to do about that. So now I'm
wondering what I might be doing that's creating that feeling of "unbelonging"
among my team.

~~~
mjmahone17
Frankly, the person this article is most relevant to is not white guys with
power. And that's a good thing. For everyone who has been in a similar
situation to the author, this sort of experience hopefully can help them
figure out what they want, what they value, and where they belong.

But there are some clear things you shouldn't do, just from the text:

    
    
      - Group outings that exclude specific individuals, because of personal preference, religion, race, etc. If that means someone doesn't drink, make sure drinking isn't the only way to socialize.
      - Avoid people because their otherness makes you uncomfortable. This frankly just sucks, and there's not really anything the other person can do about it.
      -  Conversely, treat people as fragile. You may not understand someone, and that's OK. It doesn't mean they'll be offended because you give them challenging tasks, it doesn't mean they should be held back from "dangerous" situations.
    

The list goes on, but the other thing you can do, is actually listen to your
reports. Ask them what they want in life. Ask them what their goals are, how
their family is, what they feel best doing, when they feel most stressed out.
And work to actually resolve what you can, with their help (i.e. don't just
fire someone because they're avoiding someone else. That would likely be
overkill, and scare the crap out of the person you were trying to "protect").

------
rapidally2
There were three black women at my last workplace. One of them had a positive
attitude and everyone treated her wonderfully. She seemed happy, and her and I
were good friends. The other two complained constantly, and would whisper to
the other black woman (who relayed it to me) that race 'kept her down'. Those
two weren't happy, and if they were excluded it was due to their attitude more
than anything.

------
mklim
It kind of pains me to consider this, especially since it's one of the reasons
I got involved with software development in the first place—but I wonder how
much these issues are caused by the field's close ties to geek/gamer culture.

I know I love being able to work with people that caustically say "Make it so"
when they deploy to master. I love being able to chat about the latest
videogames with my coworkers over lunch. I love being able to swap
scifi/fantasy novel recommendations and stumble upon test user models named
things like "Zaphod." It brightens my day to see references like that, and
having so much common ground to talk about with my coworkers is quite frankly
a new and exciting experience after having to deal with being the odd person
out through most of my time growing up.

But I also can imagine that being forced to deal with what is essentially a
foreign culture 24/7 would be really alienating and probably a little
frustrating for your average person. No common interests, all these weird
references littered through the code and the jokes people make over coffee
that you don't get because you never played that one videogame that came out
in the 80s. And women tend to be into geek/gamer culture less often than men
are, so you would see gender discrimination arise out of that, however
unintentional. I read a study recently that found that female undergraduates
are less likely to say that they would be interested in computer science as a
career if asked about it in a room decorated with Star Trek posters vs a room
decorated with generic nature posters
([http://depts.washington.edu/sibl/Publications/Cheryan,%20Pla...](http://depts.washington.edu/sibl/Publications/Cheryan,%20Plaut,%20Davies,%20%26%20Steele%20%282009%29.pdf)).

I don't have any kinds of solutions about this. Like I said, that's one of the
things I really love about my field. But I think it might be contributing.

~~~
GFK_of_xmaspast
Personally as someone who gets all the references, it's tiresome as fuck.

------
incision
_> "I feel like there isn’t anyone who can identify with my story, so I don’t
tell it."_

I absolutely identify.

I've experienced a lot of this, but I'm a man as well as forthright and
according to some - intimidating.

Thing is, I expect those things carry their own challenges - being rejected
outright rather than given the opportunity to suck it up.

------
ownagefool
I’m not saying Racism and Sexism isn’t a terrible and real thing. They both
exist and are terrible.

However, I just want to highlight that many of the people you feel have an
easy time fitting in, because they’re white and male, don’t.

They feel just like you, but there isn’t a single obvious issue they can point
at blame. They raise the same issues with HR, they get stonewalled just like
you.

This is often just an issue of group dynamics where there are the strong
personalities and weak. If you misappropriate that as something else, you
won’t find any sympathy within the group.

That said, if you really are being passed up because you’re black of female,
there is a problem with that and it should be sorted out.

However, I often get passed up for jobs I can do better than the guy who
landed it. I’ve never assumed that it’s because I’m Scottish working in London
even though it probably occasionally is for that reason.

~~~
pluma
I think the problem is that it's hard to tell which particular facet is at
play here. In all likelihood her problems are at least heavily influenced by
her race and gender, even if those factors are neither the base nor the
entirety of it.

Non-white, non-men start out from a severely disadvantaged position in our
society in general and in the industry in particular. I presume this simply
serves as a magnifier when it comes to the problem others (namely white men)
would experience in the same situations. Plus the gender/race card is obvious
for both sides (i.e. she is more likely to blame negative experiences with
other people on it, but they may also be more likely to explain her behaviour
with it). Consider her reservations about acting in a way that might affirm
stereotypes, for example.

The entire situation is so messy and taboo-laden from the get-go that it's
difficult to assess what's really going on here and what the chain of events
was for each individual situation, but it's empirically obvious that there is
a very real problem and race/gender is a major factor.

EDIT: Also remember that "race" can be a misleading term. It's often about
culture and cultural biases about other cultures -- ethnicity just tends to be
a handy shibboleth. As an anecdotal example: in Germany (and likely other
parts of the EU too) you are often at a serious career disadvantage if you
have a Polish or Eastern European accent, even if you are very good at what
you do, especially if you also happen to be female (though the exact
stereotypes you face might again depend on your age). It doesn't even have to
be a national thing, you might also face negative stereotypes if you have a
regional accent (think Eastern in Germany or Southern in the US).

------
mturmon
Oakland definitely has its advantages. Its long working-class and radical
history has left an impression on the city.

~~~
nailer
San Francisco has a lot more human foeces on the streets than Oakland does.

~~~
peterfirefly
f(a)eces?

------
borplk
I don't mean to discount or take away from the difficulties that the author is
addressing but as a migrant I can't help but to laugh a bit at some of the
complaints I hear here and there about 'sticking out' and 'isolation'.

You stick out at work? I stick out everywhere I go.

If you feel out of place and isolated try moving to a completely different
country on your own and try living there for a few years. That's when you
realise how much you belonged and you didn't even realise.

------
no_future
I've said this before, but I have absolutely no sympathy for people who think
that there is something wrong with the fact that everyone in their workplace
is not exactly the same as them(the author explicitly points out several times
how she was the only black/female person in her workplace as if it was some
kind of travesty). To me this only shows that they are the ones mainly causing
the problem, not the imagined institutionalized racism/sexism that they rant
about. A bunch of different people from different backgrounds working together
and doing great things is what America is all about, and one of the things
that makes it a great country. For these people the fact that they and their
colleagues share a common interest in whatever they are working on(or I would
hope so), is not enough, and they are too immature and entitled to get over
the fact that there exist people different from them. There are people who
come to this country and speak almost no english - think how they must feel -
but you don't hear them complain about it. If you want to see more
women/minorities in the workplace, by remaining in it you are being the
change, which is a positive thing, but instead these people quit and then go
whine on their blog while painting themselves as some kind of hero for
quitting. If you are this much of an entitled, sniveling ingrate then I don't
see how you could make any kind of positive contribution to your industry, so
good riddance I say.

Ironic, considering "Diversity" is about celebrating differences, and not
pointing them out as if they were a negative thing.

I'm not saying that prejudices are nonexistent, but I don't think they are as
prominent as these people make them out to be.

~~~
_pmf_
I see the article as an indication of a person who does not know what she
wants out of life and is therefore continually disappointed. I've seen this
happen to single, non-children white males, too (not excluding myself), at
least to some extent.

------
mbubb
I spent much of August and September job searching in NYC - looking at small
startup and post-startup, tech-driven companies. looked at hundreds of "The
Team"; "About Us" or "Leadership" pages on corporate sites and it is striking
how much of a monoculture tech is...

I don't think anyone really 'fits' but that is another discussion.

On a personal level it is impossible not to empathize with the author. Not
sympathize as I am closer to the model (though a bit long in the tooth). I've
even had jobs where I was in a subordinate position in a black owned business
(I parked cars in a black theatre at my university). I would never use that to
say I understood. What the author describes is profound and frightening.

We are so split. It is hard to see how to begin to fix it.

And though I would never question her experience and feelings about this - I
don't think this is true:

"My industry needs to change to make everyone feel included and accepted."

At the moment this is typically more of a 'PR' goal than an actual business
goal. A wishful image rather than a real strategic initiative. I do not think
that there is a real capitalist driver behind this statement.

Or maybe there is and I just don't see it.

------
ams6110
I think a big part of the problem is this idea that we need to seek a sense of
community, family, belonging-ness, whatever you want to call it... _at work_.

That has never been my mode. Work is work. I don't do the after work bar
scene, the weekend team-builders, golf outings, etc. It's all senseless
especially for engineering types. Keep work cleanly compartmentalized. Your
community should be outside of work.

------
wyager
>I don’t need to change to fit within my industry. My industry needs to change
to make everyone feel included and accepted

Well hold on a second. I don't agree that, when someone feels bad about
something, it's everyone else's fault/responsibility. I and many others have
felt excluded and/or different at times; the ideal response is to address
those feelings yourself, not to blame other people.

~~~
3minus1
It's not just her; there are many other minorities that can relate. It's not
just her feelings; she's also talking about harassment and being denied
opportunities.When you tell someone to keep their complaints to themselves you
are actively perpetuating/enforcing the status quo. I don't know if that was
your intent but you should be aware of how you come across.

~~~
wyager
>When you tell someone to keep their complaints to themselves

I'm not telling anyone this. I'm saying that feeling excluded is, in this
case, a personal problem, not an everyone else problem, particularly when the
author admits that the only reason she feels excluded is because her co-
workers don't conform to her preferred racial and social characteristics. I
(and I think most people) have been in the minority before; the important
thing is to accept that not everyone else behaves exactly as you do. Trying to
impose your preferences on everyone else is not the fair approach.

~~~
steveeq1
Well said, couldn't agree with you more. While reading this article I couldn't
help but thinking "how much of this attitude is due to perception"?

------
redbaron32
It is a good personal account. I do not know where and how the parameters will
change for the next generation, or indeed for the author.

------
drdeadringer
The theme I kept picking up on was one of loneliness and/or isolation, born of
whatever pickings of reasons.

It makes me wonder if there are any 'universal ice breakers' to help solve
such situations, which I sometimes see in film once every blue moon or so.

[I know I watch too many movies, but one can hope for some translation to
reality]

------
e40
It's funny, as I was reading it I kept thinking "I can't believe she'd feel
that way if she lived here, in Oakland." It was a nice surprise to find out
that she liked it when she got here.

I've lived and worked in Oakland for the last 13 years. Some of the people I
work with, when we moved from Berkeley to Oakland, were afraid to be in
Oakland. Of course, I didn't find this out until many years later, but it was
shocking nonetheless.

When I travel to other places, like SC/NC, I (as a white male) feel alone and
isolated. I just don't subscribe to the culture there anymore (I'm from KY).
It feels foreign, sterile and separated. I really don't like being there,
other than visiting with family.

~~~
jusben1369
I too have lived in both places. What culture in SC/NC do you no longer
subscribe to?

~~~
e40
Guns, racial separation, extreme anti-liberalism and, to some degree. It's
also a place that fosters people being proudly ignorant. Anywhere that Fox
News and Rush Limbaugh are so popular just freaks me out.

A quick story:

I was visiting in 1999 because my step mother was ill. She was at the hospital
at Duke. Everywhere I went in the hospital the cleaning and cooking staff was
black and everyone else was white. At least in the area I was in. I was
hanging out in a lounge area once and there was a group of older guys. One was
telling a joke and used the N-word several times. A few feet away there was a
black guy cleaning the floor. It seemed like a skit in some comedy show. I
looked around and no one gave a shit but me.

Everywhere I went in the hospital, when I would encounter black people, they
would never look me in the eye. Always their eyes were down and they called me
"sir." I was like 34 and no one had ever addressed me like that. And, living
in the Bay Area, I had never witnessed people of color being so deferential.
It was shocking.

------
shaurz
This is why multiculturalism will never work. People are most comfortable
living and working with similar people who look and think in similar ways.
It's human nature and no amount of diversity brainwashing can overcome it.
Clearly she rightly feels like an outsider in the white male group and even
would if every white man made the maximum effort to be "inclusive". And the
white men naturally felt uncomfortable with a black women in the group. In the
current political climate it's not possible for people to admit their true
feelings on the matter without being instantly labelled an "ist" (racist,
sexist, etc.) but we can only go on denying human nature for so long...

------
mbubb
I wish those regrettable sensitivity videos that I have sat through too many
times dealt with this:

" I immediately did not fit in, because I didn’t look the part. My coworkers
walked on eggshells in my presence, so I did my best to make them feel
comfortable around me so that I would be included. I laughed at their terribly
racist and sexist jokes, I co-opted their negative attitudes, I began to dress
as they did, I brushed it off when they made passes at me. I did everything I
could to make them feel like I was one of them, even though I clearly was
not."

Well written.

------
lerno
I wonder what's really best / possible. Most teams / companies start up
homogeneous to some extent. Also, there is plenty of conflicts possible even
in a homogeneous team - it's just more clear that assholes are assholes and
not just begaving like that because they're racists, homophobes etc.

On the other hand, they often go hand in hand, it's just that the racist will
direct his aggressions against someone looking different from themselves if
possible (but they're happy to select a random victim if they can't find one)

------
wldcordeiro
I work in a rather diverse but small development team, we consist of:

1 Bangladeshi woman

2 Brazilian men (myself and another)

1 Chinese woman

1 White man

The Chinese lady and the white guy are our mobile team and the rest of us work
as web developers. We all get along really well and I don't think there's much
in/out grouping in our team. Still it's good to see the side of those that
haven't been as fortunate in team distribution.

Quick note: The other Brazilian and I are definitely on the more fair skinned
side but I wouldn't say either of identify as white.

------
mbubb
Beautifully written and gut wrenching. I hate the fact that I have no idea
what to do to help you if you were my coworker. I am not talking about obvious
things like horrible jokes and unwelcome advances. How to make day to day life
easier? How to do away with the ‘eggshells’?

------
RenegadeofFunk
Black software engineer here. Pretty much disagree with all of this. Here's my
take:

[http://righteousruminations.blogspot.com/2014/11/another-
sid...](http://righteousruminations.blogspot.com/2014/11/another-side-of-
diversity.html)

------
noobermin
A lot of comments have already been posted here, so it's most likely the case
that this won't be seen, but I feel like sharing.

One of my problems about complaints for "diversity" is that for many people,
it's usually "why isn't _my_ kind represented so I can hang out with them
instead of X group?" Whites are happy to be with whites, blacks seems to be
content mixing with blacks, latinos with latinos, asians with asians, etc.
People only seem to complain when they are the only asian or the only black
kid around, and they feel left out. Sure, that's normal to feel, but I don't
see how having isolated equivalence classes makes any set of people "diverse"
or any happier, save the people feel at home with their baramin.

May be for me, I'm just so interested in other cultures and people that I (try
to) make friends with all races and (more importantly) individuals. Or may be
it's because I don't have a "kind" to mix with as elaborated below. In any
case, the version of diversity that I want accepting and being friends with
someone even when that person isn't like you. It means giving a chance to
those who aren't like you, and may be finding common bonds that you both could
share. It means being interested and respecting others viewpoints, while not
necessarily changing your own. Hell, this covers not just race relations, but
sexual orientation, gender, a host of other things, right?

I'm a pacific islander and an "enrichment fellow" at some physics graduate
program somewhere. Yes, that's code for a diversity/affirmative action
fellowship, I suppose. I am a minority, but something that makes my experience
different from others is that I didn't grow up with "my kind" because not many
of "my kind" exist (probably around 100,000 in the world in order of
magnitude). I grew up in Long Beach, CA surrounded by people of different
backgrounds and races (mostly white, I guess), and went to a Catholic private
school. In fact, I moved back to Palau [1] and hated it at first because I
didn't fit in.

It's probably because of this background that makes me really not understand
the concept of race and especially identifying with it. Identifying with a
culture or subculture makes some sense to me--I have bits of Palau and bits of
US culture in my personality because I lived in both places--and that is as
far as it matters to me, how much that affects your personality. I do in
general find cultures interesting as anyone would, but in evaluating a person,
I really only care about personality.

[1] "Moved back to"? I like to think of it as my parents moved back and 8 year
old me came along, I had never been in Palau before.

------
known
[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Putnam#Diversity_and_...](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Putnam#Diversity_and_trust_within_communities)

------
stevenmays
Mixed (half black, half white) engineer here. Who cares if you're the only
person of a certain race on a team? Why is this significant?

People really need to stop being so sensitive. I try to work with the best
teams to advance my own skillset. I could care less the race of my teammates
or if my feelings are coddled.

In the article the author states she had a boyfriend in Oakland, and she was
scared to visit him... in a predominately black area. I think this author
brings her own fears about being included and being different with her. You
cannot let any of this stop you from doing what you want to do and being who
you are.

Edit: Getting downvotes for not fitting the narrative of I'm a non-included
minority in tech please give me my diversity.

~~~
dopamean
> I think this author brings her own fears about being included and being
> different with her.

I think that was sort of the point and she addressed it.

> Who cares if you're the only person of a certain race on a team? Why is this
> significant?

I spend a lot of time with my coworkers. It is important that we can relate to
each other and perhaps even more importantly that we _feel_ like we can relate
to each other.

Being paranoid about being an outsider isn't some crazy way of thinking.
People perceived to be outsiders are frequently ostracized and we all know it.

~~~
stevenmays
> Being paranoid about being an outsider isn't some crazy way of thinking.
> People perceived to be outsiders are frequently ostracized and we all know
> it.

I think this is a self fulfilling prophecy. When you bring that fear with you
into each interaction, and mold yourself to fit some group dynamic no one
wins. And you're less likely to be included or FEEL included because you're
scared and have modified your behavior to fit the group dynamic.

Anyway, I have zero issues being a minority in tech. I have an awesome and
interesting career, and I enjoy my coworkers.

------
droopybuns
white, suburban early 40's here. I felt the appeal of punk rock in my teens
and have never looked back. As a part of the majority stereoptype, I still
don't feel like I fit in.

Am I wrong to think that this is actually part of the human condition? Could
it be that we confuse racial tension for the fact that we all kind of long to
belong but at the same time sit in judgement of everyone else?

~~~
Mangalor
Black, late 20's here. It's different. There have been times when I've felt
excluded for reasons completely not having to do with my race. Surely there
are some shared themes with every other person, but the first time you see an
instance of someone treating you worse just because of the color of your skin
it makes you want to punch straight through a wall.

~~~
droopybuns
I appreciate your perspective. Your reaction is understandable.

My general feeling on working with my teams is one of social dread. I just
don't feel like I have a lot in common with people in general. I think popular
culture is pretty carcinogenic- so when people engage in small talk about the
local sports teams or whatever thing happened on must-see-tv last night, I get
anxious.

------
tomiko_nakamura
I wonder how long they've been looking for a background image distracting
enough ...

------
ck2
One of the better articles I have ever read linked on HN

------
bane
This is a great and brave article. I'm a white male. As a young child I grew
up in a poorer city apartment complex and most of the time, of all the
children there I'd be 1 or 2 of 30 or 40 kids who was white or a native
English speaker. I can't say I was ever a "minority" there, because
_everybody_ was a minority there. Looking back, I'm amazed that we were ever
able to organize any games to play because so few of us all spoke the same
language.

Perhaps due to this, I always felt _most_ comfortable in that kind of ultra-
diverse environment. When I was older my family moved to a very rural, very
white area, and I _never_ quite got comfortable with it. These days, when I
visit one of the ultra-diverse North-East American cities, D.C., Philly, NYC,
or even London, I can almost feel my inner self relaxing. Even though my take
on it is different, in that sense I understand the author's feelings about
Oakland, you feel most relaxed in the environment you grew up in.

Still, diversity is quite hard. In my professional life I've tried to adopt a
policy that's a little different than many diversity programs. Many programs
want you to be "diversity-blind", meaning you strive to have a mix of people
from different backgrounds, but then you ignore that difference. I
fundamentally disagree with this. I think you should strive for diverse
backgrounds, but then recognize and celebrate people's differences. Respect
them for who they are and where they come from.

I know that this is difficult to do sometimes for a couple reasons:

a) some people may be doing what the author was doing and desperately trying
to fit in, recognizing that they are different runs counter to their effort

b) we come into this with lots of our own perceived biases and stereotypes
which can color the _way_ we're trying to recognize people's differences

I think that a) is the biggest problem we need to overcome as a society. Of
course there's a measure of "fitting" in to any group dynamic that an
individual has to do, but when the balance swings too far in the group's
favor, that individual loses their own uniqueness and their own identity and
like the article discusses, it's ultimately stressful and damaging to that
person.

b) is also a problem, and despite growing up in a pluralistic childhood
environment, I _still_ have my own biases and stereotypes that I bring into a
relationship with anybody. For example, though I grew up in an immigrant heavy
neighborhood, I never met and know somebody from South Asia (India, Pakistan,
etc.) until I was well into high school. I have a personally broken model
about people from these places that I'm working to improve.

Still, I think the effort of overcoming these kinds of biases makes us better
people in the end, and makes a better environment for our co-workers and
friends. We can recognize people for who they are and what they can bring to
the table _both_ as an individual, and as a representative of the group and
culture they feel they're naturally part of.

Some anecdotes I chew on that have stuck with me:

\- An old coworker, white, male, grew up in a military town and hung around
with the self-described hip-hop crowd, his wife is East Asian, feels like he's
understanding and sympathetic on diversity. I overheard him telling a black
coworker that he feels that there's really no more racism in the U.S. and that
any perceived racism is brought onto people by themselves. My black co-worker
tolled him that just the day before he and his brother were driving around
town, at the speed limit (he's a careful driver) and were pulled over and
searched for drugs with no probable cause. He called it "driving while black".

\- My wife is Korean, at a company she used to work at, she started coming
under aggressive sexism and racism from a new CTO. She fought back against it
(and became deeply, deeply depressed through the battle until she quit the
job). At one point, with HR present, the CTO said "I'm surprised you're this
upset about things, I thought Asian women were more demure and subservient."

\- Another old co-worker, black, pointed out to my work group one day that
he's immensely proud of hip-hop and other black music and culture because of
the oversized impact it's had on American culture. His statement has caused me
to reevaluate and rethink and see many culturely American things through this
lens.

------
j45
Diversity is real and lasting if it exists from the top of any organization or
society, to the bottom. In that order.

Attempting to seed diversity from the front lines upward almost always slows,
and fails. Where you have diverse front line bankers and their
managers,diversity seems to dissapear as you go up the org chart. Often, this
means to imply some diversity is actually diversification to interface with
consumers, but not truly create lasting, diverse progress.

When I hear diversity, I ask myself to measure it by its highest presence and
practice in management. If it's missing, a culture and practice of diversity
is missing. Going for curry for lunch with the Indian guy isn't it.

To beliefs that see diversity difficulties from two cultures tiptoeing around
each other: no one exclusively owns kindness, professionalism, goodness or the
practice of being any of these things. We deny ourselves and others the
dignity of humanity and being treated humanely when we do not take a minute to
learn someone's story and humanize them, instead feeding division.

When not focused on inclusiveness, diversity quickly becomes division.

Reading so many stories about the symptoms and experiences of "diversity", or
lack thereof reinforced my beliefs:

1) Don't be an overt badge or token. If anything, be a lot of badges so your
diversity is just one of them. Use it for good and encourage your white
friends to use their white privilege for good.

2) It's a reality to deal with any -ism. Age, "race" , gender, religion.
People do not fight over these things as much as fighting over interpretations
of these things. Some will always look for the easiest thing they can find to
marginalize others with. Take it as a sign you are doing something right, if
the narrow minded folks are threatened by you.

3) Not choosing the family you were born into, or the color of your skin, nor
choosing your gender before you were born is a pretty small minded way to
practice bias. Ignorants will be dumbfounded when you say you didn't pick the
family you were born into, when they mistreat you just for that.

4) If I end up in a room where I get half the respect as anyone, and I have to
be twice as good to get equal respect, four times as good to be special, and
eight times as good to be extraordinary....

5) Do I give up when challenged to be 8 times better, or walk away with the
ability to drink from a firehouse when others can't breathe? Would such a
talent help, or hurt building the life of my dreams and using it to be on a
path of service and compassion towards all of humanity?

The above could lead to some people feeling disconnected and disillusioned
from their citizenship in their community, humanity. It's never fazed me too
much because I did have a diverse group of friends who took a minute to turn
this strangers so easy to marginalize, into a person and in some cases a
friend.

A side effect of pursuing extremely positive self growth is all the haters
(who are self-haters first) become a servant to your achieving more than your
potential. It also can fuel jealousy because most often haters are busy doing
nothing themselves near the 8x you're capable of, thanks to them.

Nindho.

------
omonra
I think this is an interesting read.

I personally can relate. I'm a white guy but an immigrant from Europe. Most of
my friends are immigrants from the same region and I'm most comfortable around
'my people'.

But that doesn't mean that I have expectations that I will be surrounded by
'my people' at work. That's how I structure my life outside of work - to be
around people that I have a lot in common with.

But work is work - the only commonality I expect is to be surrounded by people
who are capable and know what they are doing.

~~~
dcole2929
That's part of the problem though. You are European yes but at the end of the
day you are still white and to some not so insignificant part of the
population that fact means more than everything else that may set you apart.

Obviously I can't read the author's mind but my interpretation was not that
she was bothered by not having other black women around her so much as she was
by the consequences of that lack of diversity. She felt left out and passed
over at times. She felt like she had to constantly defend her opinions, her
self.

I don't think diversity in the work place is something that is an absolute
must but I think in cases where that lack creates a hostile work place for
some employees there is absolutely an issue. If you're co-workers are making
racist comments/assumptions about you and your manager's solution is to ship
you off to another office, there is absolutely a problem.

~~~
seivan
Wow, way to downplay his problem.

"You're white, so you can't have problems".

~~~
jusben1369
Perhaps the better way to say it was "you're white. You can't have workplace
diversity angst. This article and discussion is about workplace diversity
angst. So your advice on how to handle it isn't applicable because you don't
suffer from the problem"

~~~
tibiapejagala
"you're white. You can't have workplace diversity angst."

But yes, you can! There are comments here about exactly that - white who can't
fit in in chinese team, or even white in white team who can't fit in there.
Skin colour isn't some magical 'fit in' trait.

~~~
jusben1369
Actually, I don't have super strong feelings on the topic. I was being quite
literal in saying "This is what I think the OP was trying to say" vs endorsing
it 100%.

------
XJOKOLAT
Powerful and honest piece. Thanks for writing it.

------
powertower
The other side to this is that - she feels much more comfortable in a non-
diverse environment where people look like her, talk like her, are her gender
and color, had similar upbringings, etc.

...And there is nothing wrong with that. It's perfectly normal.

Diversity on the other hand, whenever I read about it, see statistics about
it, etc, seems to always produce conflict.

------
wldcordeiro
With this title I was expecting an article by someone who is white in a mostly
non-white work environment.

------
khattam
"I don’t need to change to fit within my industry. My industry needs to change
to make everyone feel included and accepted."

Erm... so I guess basketball should change to include short Thai guys too? Or
maybe Thai guys should stick to martial arts and weight lifting?

~~~
Mangalor
Kind of in bad taste to answer one story of racism with more racism. Also,
making a work environment more inclusive for minorities should not be as hard
as playing Peter Dinklage against Yao Ming.

------
pnutjam
This article is unreadable. I enjoy light font on dark backgrounds, but the
busy background insures that parts of the page are impossible to read.

------
0x0
If you are going to have your body text width wider than the viewport, it
would be great if you also don't disable pinch-to-zoom and swipe horizontally
to scroll. :)

MobileSafari, iOS8

~~~
anigbrowl
Author is not running medium.com. Writing a blog post about this would be more
appropriate.

~~~
0x0
It was just a friendly heads-up that the article was basically unreadable
because whole words were getting cut off each line.

I don't see why it matters who runs medium in this case.

~~~
anigbrowl
Medium is more or less a blogging platform. I don't think that people who post
essays on there have much control over how it displays on any given
device/browser, given the minimalist text editor it provides.

~~~
0x0
I would have imagined the choice of blogging platform is 100% controlled by
the author?

I'd love to comment more on the actual blog post subject, but I can't read the
article, so I figured giving a headsup would be of interest to the author.
Next time I'll just shut up and move on, it's not my loss.

------
beatpanda
Don't listen to her, 100% of the East Bay is extremely dangerous, full of
people literally waiting in the shadows to murder you and take all of your
valuables.

~~~
steveeq1
Straw man.

~~~
beatpanda
No, I'm really just trying to keep the HN crowd on the western half of the
Bay.

BECAUSE IT'S DANGEROUS! SO DANGEROUS! IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!

~~~
hypatiadotca
well played.

------
guelo
On the Oakland thing, I wish white people were still afraid of coming here. It
was the best kept secret in the bay area for a long time.

~~~
jmorphy88
_I wish [racial group x] were still afraid of coming here. It was the best
kept secret in the bay area for a long time._

Solve for x.

~~~
xienze
Nah it's cool because OP was talking about white people.

~~~
AlexandrB
Yes, it is cool. Consider what led to this situation in the first place:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_flight](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_flight)

But now when the issue is cheap real estate you're expecting a welcome mat?

------
ThePantySnacher
You're not incubated properly given the environment from which you have came
from. There for lacking many many years of experience.

It has nothing to do with your race, sex or age. Its simple, this environment
does not provide the diversity in science and arts for this unique artisan
career choice.

If you're not that type of person, with hunger, passion and some
cleverness...then your out of luck, you're not an engineer, nor a scientist
and you'll have to except only being a code jockey.

Coming to HN and complaining about how wonderful you are and how racists the
industry is will not do you any good in the real world, If you lack the skill
set. Its necessary to understand most of the successful here have been working
on these types of problems since we were 5, with nothing other then the motive
of "how does this thing work" and "can I make it do this instead".

My advice, take a scientific approach since it is the field you're in and
prove yourself first. Have the idea, figure it out, prove it works, then show
them it works.

~~~
theothermkn
You felt free to personally attack the author of the article in an
unsubstantiated manner, so I feel free to personally attack you, but with
substantiation.

> You're not incubated properly given the environment from which you have came
> from.

This diagnosis is striking in its offensiveness, unfoundedness, entitlement,
ignorance, and blatant racism and sexism. You sir, are a steaming pile of vile
racist shit. How dare you invalidate someone's being, in the first place. In
the second place, how dare you do so with the veiled "from which you have came
from." You mean, because she's black. At least have the courage to come out
and say it, you coward.

> There for lacking many many years of experience.

In addition to lacking the barest iota of sophistication, you also lack a
spellchecker. I prefer my racist reading material to at least be properly
spelled and grammatically correct. Perhaps you lack experience at reading and
writing.

> It has nothing to do with your race, sex or age. Its simple, this
> environment does not provide the diversity in science and arts for this
> unique artisan career choice.

This word salad is difficult to parse. By "this environment," are you
referring to the "tech industry" or to the author's childhood and young adult
environment? I'm actually not sure which is the more repulsive, nor how either
meaning can be reconciled with this having "nothing to do with ..race, sex[,]
or age." For future reference, you ignorant piece of shit, diversity has
everything to do with race, sex, and age, among a wide array of other
categories.

> If you're not that type of person, with hunger, passion and some
> cleverness...then your out of luck, you're not an engineer, nor a scientist
> and you'll have to except only being a code jockey.

A similar statement could be made, more correctly, about the kind of
engagement with the life of the mind that lets people see the mechanisms of
discrimination and inequality in society. If one puts no effort into it, if
one relies instead on whatever makes one most comfortable and most smug in
their own status quo, one ends up like you, the moral equivalent of a code
monkey, unable to articulate anything but the dreariest of racial cliches
about meritocracy.

> Coming to HN and complaining about how wonderful you are and how racists the
> industry is will not do you any good in the real world, If you lack the
> skill set. Its necessary to understand most of the successful here have been
> working on these types of problems since we were 5, with nothing other then
> the motive of "how does this thing work" and "can I make it do this
> instead".

You are probably too stupid to see that you have provided an uncharitable
interpretation of the article. I would love to hear--I take that back; I would
be loathe to hear--you defend your interpretation that the author described
herself as one-sidedly wonderful in an article where she details that she went
to therapy. You also presumed to tell her that she "lack[ed] the skill set."
Oh. My. Fucking. God. Fuck. Off. You. Racist. Asshole. You have literally no
idea about the author's skill level, engagement, desire to make things work,
and so on. Additionally, your analysis depends upon outright calling her a
liar with regard to her assessment of her work environment. Have you fucked
off, yet? Because you really, really need to. (After replacing your vile
comment with an apology for your racist screed.)

> My advice, take a scientific approach since it is the field you're in and
> prove yourself first. Have the idea, figure it out, prove it works, then
> show them it works.

You want a colon after "My advice," not a comma. Jesus. Your advice. Holy
shit. You are just precious. Bless your little heart.

You and your kind are the problem. You have no place in modern society. Your
retrograde attitudes and toxic privileged naivete are precisely the things to
which the author pointed to in her amazing and honest piece, and from which
you could so fruitfully learn if you weren't, as I suspect, a wholly
irredeemable racist asshole.

I cannot speak for HN as a whole, but you are not welcome, as far as I am
concerned. Please delete your 15-minute-old account and go back to lurking,
you vile bigot.

