
Divorce rates in America soar 34% during Covid; surge not unexpected - mrfusion
https://roselawgroupreporter.com/2020/08/divorce-rates-in-america-soar-34-during-covid/
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helsinki
I had a child with my fiancé six weeks ago. We lived together throughout COVID
and even before, but four weeks after our daughter’s birth, she told me she
was leaving and someone was picking them up shortly.

What happened afterwards is omitted for legal reasons.

It has been the worst two weeks of my life. We have not spoken since the day
they left and I have not seen my daughter.

I should note that it takes two to tango. I could have done more to prevent it
from happening. I could have done a lot better, but I just didn’t realize the
fragility of our situation.

I cannot wait to hold my daughter again.

~~~
ponker
I hope you’re lawyered up and ready for a fight for your daughter. Good luck,
god knows you’ll need it.

~~~
helsinki
We are both very lawyered up. It’s such a goddamn shame. This whole incident
has already cost us, at least, $30,000 and we’re just getting started.

~~~
ponker
I hope that you get her, when you do, don't tell her what a piece of shit her
mother is. Don't burden your daughter with that, shoulder it yourself.

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jdminhbg
The source for this statistic is sales data from an online legal forms
website, originally here: [https://legaltemplates.net/resources/personal-
family/divorce...](https://legaltemplates.net/resources/personal-
family/divorce-rates-covid-19/)

I won't be surprised if numbers like this end up panning out, but I don't
think this is much of a source.

~~~
mandelbrotwurst
Yeah, all of the headline, article, and source seem to be junk here. This is a
law firm publishing an online "newspaper" named after itself, running a news
story with a headline that misinterprets a quote from their own employees.
They said that their sales were up 34%, not that divorce rates went up 34%!

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asperous
I looked on google trends and Oregon's stat page and couldn't confirm that its
"surging":

[https://www.oregon.gov/oha/PH/BirthDeathCertificates/VitalSt...](https://www.oregon.gov/oha/PH/BirthDeathCertificates/VitalStatistics/Pages/Divorce-
Data.aspx)

[https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=today%205-y&ge...](https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=today%205-y&geo=US&q=%22how%20to%20file%20for%20divorce%22)

~~~
Drunk_Engineer
It isn't surging. A company selling downloadable "legal templates" is claiming
a 34% increase in sales. This is a clickbait PR stunt masquerading as news.

~~~
axaxs
I'm inclined to agree. Assuming they aren't advertising more or some other
obvious factor, people are generally a) stuck at home on electronic devices,
b) afraid to go out to many places, and c) loss of income. Of course an online
DIY divorce template seller is going to see sales rise.

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flexie
I strongly doubt this, and especially the high percentage. Apparently, the
numbers are based on online sale of legal templates. Maybe that took off, just
like e-commerce in general.

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aidenn0
Abuse of spouses and kids is also up. That's typical anytime unemployment goes
up.

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archer101214
I caught my wife of 17 years with another woman 20 years younger than her. We
have 8 kids together. She said she loves her and can't stop thinking of her.
I'm giving her space but I don't think we are going to make it and it just
kills me.

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01100011
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Reform alimony now.

Force consistent rules at the federal level. Make childless divorces
straightforward and fair. Eliminate the notion that a former spouse is
responsible for maintaining a 'standard of living' established during the
marriage. If two adults want to part ways, make them responsible for being
adults.

To anyone not married, please understand what you are agreeing to by getting
married. It is a legally binding contract that has nothing to do with
romanticized notions of true love. There is an industry of people looking to
profit from you and exploit you. Be extremely careful who you enter into that
contract with.

~~~
bradenb
On the one hand you say spouses should not be responsible for maintaining a
standard of living but on the other you say people should know what they’re
getting into with marriage. This cuts both ways. If you don’t want to be
solely responsible for someone else’s standard of living then maybe make sure
they plan to be self-sufficient BEFORE you get married. Or sign a prenup.
Alimony is no secret.

This becomes even more unrealistic when you introduce the concept of a
“homemaker.” Usually that involves kids but it doesn’t necessarily have to. If
a couple decides to have one get an education and a paying job and the other
has responsibilities around the home then that is how they’ve chosen to divide
their labor. You can’t just maintain a balance for your marriage but come
divorce time say “oh well, they can take care of themself.” The working spouse
has a massive head start and the non-working spouse has (possibly unwillingly)
had a massive downgrade in QOL forced on them.

Alimony seeks to create equality. Either equality in success or equality in
hardship. It probably isn’t a perfect system and I’ve seen instances where it
is massively abused but I don’t think the concept or execution is overly
flawed. Perhaps too many adults are jumping into marriage without fully
understanding what it means and how it might end.

~~~
tmpz22
Do prenups work? My understanding is that many states effectively void them
(including California).

~~~
itake
I’m not a lawyer, but as I understand it, prenups protect premarital assets
(like your childhood pet or a necklace your grandma gave you), but would not
protect you from income that was generated during the marriage, like if you
started and sold a company.

There are special exemptions on inheritances that happen during the marriage,
but you have to be careful with commingling assets and it depends state to
state. Like if you provide the down payment, but split the mortgage, the house
is 50/50 owned

~~~
01100011
This is not correct AFAIK. Prenups protect what you decide they protect,
assuming they are created in a legally binding manner.

In California and many states, inheritance and gifts are always sole property
of the recipient and not considered community property. My ex was gifted
property from a relative during the marriage(so they could illegally claim
state benefits, but that's another story), and it was not even on the table
during the divorce.

In CA, if you provided the down payment on the mortgage with non-community
money and then used community money to pay th mortgage, you could ask for the
non-community down payment back and get 50% of the community interest in the
home after that.

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troughway
Can’t tell if this is a submarine post but that’s nothing.

If they have the balls to announce it, wait til you hear what the suicide
rates will be by EOY.

~~~
m0zg
[https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/69/wr/mm6932a1.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/69/wr/mm6932a1.htm)
Between this, ruined economy, and people dying due to lack of access to
"elective" (but not really) medical care, it'll be pretty clear that
"lockdowns" are not free of cost. Sweden looks smarter with every passing day.

~~~
berdario
Sweden's handling of the pandemic has been a catastrophe, causing the death of
thousands of people.

If you look at the numbers of countries that had a decent pandemic response
with lockdowns... like Vietnam, Croatia, New Zealand. These 3 countries
account for 242 deaths.

Sweden alone accounts for 5800, almost 25 times as much as those 3 countries
combined!

Sweden looks good only in comparison of other countries that locked down only
after it was too late (e.g. UK, it was several weeks ahead of the curve, and
it totally squandered that advantage). There's something to be said for
Sweden's population managing to socially distance a bit without being
compelled by law enforcement. But that doesn't help the economy anyhow, since
they also got a 8% drop in their GDP.

~~~
TearsInTheRain
How can you reasonably compare an isolated island country like New Zealand
with anyone else?

~~~
berdario
Croatia is not an island, Vietnam is not an island.

I included multiple countries exactly to pre-empt straw man objections like
those.

