
A Non-Negotiator’s Guide to Negotiating - projuce
http://99u.com/articles/14494/the-2-epiphanies-that-made-me-a-better-negotiator?goback=%2Egde_158946_member_230783800
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spodek
Getting to Yes is _the_ book on negotiation. I'm surprised someone didn't
mention it already, but I'll get the karma points instead. If you haven't read
it, it will likely become one of the more important books on business and
give-and-take interactions you read. We all negotiate every day, on things
like prices and salaries, but also what movie to go to or what restaurant to
eat at. This book helps in all these areas.

It transformed negotiation from me from something I didn't like to a human and
essential part of business.

\- A few words I wrote on the book -- <http://joshuaspodek.com/top-models-
strategies-negotiating>

\- Wikipedia page -- <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Getting_to_yes>

\- Amazon -- [http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-
alias%3Dap...](http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-
alias%3Daps&field-keywords=getting+to+yes)

Here are the main strategic points, for reference

1\. Separate the people from the problem.

2\. Focus on interests, not positions.

3\. Invent options for mutual gain.

4\. Insist on using objective criteria.

5\. Know your BATNA (Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement)

6\. Always try to improve your BATNA.

~~~
rscale
If you only get one book on negotiation, get Getting to Yes. If you get two
books, get Bargaining for Advantage as well.

Bargaining for advantage differs from Getting to Yes in that it's more of a
tactical guide, and BFA's advice works not only in collaborative situations,
but also in adversarial zero-sum negotiations.

I truly understood the value of negotiation when I walked out of a happy
vendor's boardroom having just cut my expenses by over $60,000 using a couple
emails, a phone call, and a two-hour meeting.

~~~
kriro
BfA is my goto book, +1 on the recommendation

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joshuaheard
When I was a trial attorney, I wrote an article called, "Ten Rules of
Negotiation". Here's a link to the pdf:

[https://skydrive.live.com/redir?resid=641BD45A41B1BD6C!645&#...</a>

~~~
jschulenklopper
Nice article. You might want to change this sentence though:

> You can always go up, but never down (or vice versa).

That last part radiates an inconsistent signal :-)

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tanujb
This article is more like an appetizer and not a meal.

The author's basically telling us to not be afraid of negotiations because
they're an opportunity to gain something not just one to lose something.

That's the only idea I got from there. Even splitting it into two epiphanies
seems like overkill.

------
Ovid
While I loved the sentiment, that was woefully brief and seemed to focus
mostly on buying a good, such as a car or toaster. Here's a larger guide.

 _If you think you're close in price, the first person to name a price usually
loses_

For example, if you want to hire someone to do recruiting for you, if they say
they charge X% of a candidates salary, you might find out that X% is less than
what you were willing to pay. Win! (Assuming you trust their competence).

This isn't always true, though. If you think someone is willing to offer 25K
on a contract and you start our with 75K (even though you'd settle for 40K),
you _might_ radically readjust their thinking of the value. Car salesmen do
this all the time when they tell you that $5,000 car is selling for $13,000.

 _Isolate the other side's true objections to completing the deal, not the
irrelevant fluff (this is hard)_

If someone says "I don't know, your software doesn't implement X", they might
be using this as a negotiating ploy and not as a real objection. Your response
might be "so you're saying that if we implement X, you'll sign the contract?"
If they say "yes", you have a real objection to work on. Otherwise, you may
have to do more digging.

 _Most people won't agree until you've asked them several times, usually in
different ways._

People rarely say "yes" the first time, but you can't just repeat "will you
buy this now?" five times. Instead, when they don't say "yes", you need to
spend time isolating their objections or trying to build more rapport.

 _Only budge in small amounts_

I've seen this kill so many deals. If you're selling a project for 10K and
you're suddenly willing to drop to 6K, the other side will very reasonably
start questioning the actual value. If they're stuck on price (really bad!),
and you say well, what if I can get management to agree to 9.8K? That's
setting up expectations of not having much wiggle room in price and that
perhaps the price is actually fair.

 _Compromise_

This can be hard if you're just selling a toaster, but if there are several
aspects to a deal, try to balance them. For example, if your customer insists
upon only paying 7K for that 10K product, but you also offer support for three
years, try saying "what if I can get you 9.1K, but as a compromise, you allow
the support contract to only run for a year?"

Notice that you're still not dropping your price much (keeping them in the
realm of "we have real value in this product"), but you're trying to meet
their immediate need (price) and they help you out by letting you lower some
other costs.

 _Sell on value, not price_

Critical! There's a reason people still pay for Microsoft Office rather than
simply adopting the free alternatives: for many people's needs, MS Office is
simply a better _value_. Once you convince someone of the _value_ of
something, everything else is much, much easier. If your business plan
revolves around "cheaper than all of our competitors", you've already lost.
It's often OK if you're cheaper than your competitors ... your clients will
discover this ... but they won't buy if they're not sold on value.

In fact, many have discovered that higher prices often convince people of
higher value even though it's not manifestly true. I know of one person (who I
am obviously not going to name) whose business was dying, even though he
offered a very competitive product. He got frustrated one day and jacked his
prices through the roof. Sales increased magnificently and now he has a large
staff and is developing multiple products.

~~~
tanujb
Very well written Ovid!

I was about to write my own guide based on my experience, but I scrapped it
after seeing your answer. I see we agree on point 2. But the Number 1 point I
think is to identify when you are in a negotiation and when you are in an
impasse.

To me a negotiation is when you both know there is a middle ground, and are
both trying to find it. An impasse is when the colloquial unstoppable force
meets the immovable object.

For example, theists and atheists(not agnostics) will never fundamentally
agree about the existence of a god. The time wasted and bitterness generated
over this is just not worth it, and you should look at walking away if you
can.

How to identify if you're in an impasse? That's where point number 2 comes in.
Identify what are the real objections and what is fluff. If the real objection
is fundamentally opposite to yours and not merely orthogonal, then you have an
impasse.

~~~
Ovid
Very nice reply. Wish I had thought to include that :)

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StavrosK
This is probably a more in-depth list:

[http://www.summarist.net/book/secrets-of-power-
negotiating-1...](http://www.summarist.net/book/secrets-of-power-
negotiating-15th-anniversary-edition-inside-secrets-from-a-master-negotiator/)

~~~
setrofim_
It seems to me that some of these (e.g. "always flinch at the first offer")
will be immediately seen as obvious negotiating ploys and will make the other
party question (or even dismiss) anything else you might have to say.

~~~
nnq
Don't you think that by showing that you have negotiation skills, even by
employing more or less obvious ploys, you actually show the other part you can
play the game just as well as they can? ...so they can stop trying to out-game
you and they can start thinking about offers that really make sense both for
you and for them.

...I think a lot of business deals start to make more sense once you "de-
gamificate" them: you show the other part that "gaming" tricks won't work in
this negotiation because you're on the same level as they are on using them,
so both parties can now concentrate on a compromise offer that provides the
best "real value" for both! I know, "make more sense" doesn't mean "make more
money", but you end up with more satisfied customers and you end up doing
business in segment of the market where there's less "gaming" to waste your
energy on, so you can concentrate on improving and diversifying products or
forging better customer relations.

 _Maybe the best way to "win" a negotiation is to "kill" it, i.e. turn it into
something that's no longer a negotiation, where it's obvious that no one side
can "win", no fucking way, so both parties can concentrate on the best
possible compromise._ (Yeah, the "pro gamers" will never want to do business
with you again an will try to keep you away from any of their future
businesses and negotiations, because your ways are "bad for business", but
maybe this is not the segment you want to play in in the first place!)

~~~
smacktoward
_"Don't you think that by showing that you have negotiation skills, even by
employing more or less obvious ploys, you actually show the other part you can
play the game just as well as they can?"_

No, because automatically rejecting the first offer doesn't show that you have
negotiation _skills,_ it shows that you're just cargo-culting a list of
negotation _tactics._

~~~
notahacker
A lot of it is situational as well. If you cargo-cult a list of negotiation
tactics for long enough with a souvenir vendor, you might actually get quite
close to their reserve price (they're quite used to playing the game, quite
enjoy it and will see a great opportunity to upsell you a whole lot of other
bargain-priced items starting from even more inflated prices.).

If you try the flinch in a serious business meeting, you've just made yourself
look out of your depth, even if it's a convincing flinch. And whilst creating
"higher authorities" to check with or appearing uninterested might encourage
the other party to rush in with a more appealing offer, if they're competent
and not desperate it'll probably make them less willing to show their hand
(why would they negotiate with you if you're not willing and able to do it?)

------
kyllo
There are lots of little psychological tricks and bluffs that can be risky if
the other party knows what you're doing. Regardless of those, I think the key
is really:

•Know what you want and don't be shy to ask for it

•Know what you have that the other party wants

I don't think a good negotiator is necessarily someone who gets the best deal
on everything--especially if it requires a long, dragged-out negotiation,
because that time and stress is also a cost. Rather, it's someone who knows
what they have, knows what they want, and can turn the former into the latter
at a high rate of success, and with positive net value gain to him or herself.

------
Mz
I had a college class on "Negotiation and Conflict Management." _Getting to
Yes_ was one of the required texts for that class. It is research-based and
short. So adding my voice to the chorus of recommendations. Our other text was
_The mind and heart of the negotiator_. It is a much meatier book and also
reasearch-based. I highly recommend it as well.

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mdmarra
Should have been titled _A Non-Negotiator's Guide to Negotiating: Become a
Negotiator_

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Gravityloss
I recognize a lot of the same things that pop up when pyramid schemes are
exposed. They're filled with men who think they can somehow extract huge value
with their personal deal making skills. It is striking how few women do that.

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orangethirty
The book "You can negotiate anything" is also a pretty good resource. Its an
older book. Includes techniques I have not read elsewhere. Its actually more
of a social engineering approach to negotiation, but it works like a charm.

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poundy
This book was published last month in UK

[http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Yes-Book-Better-
Negotiation/dp/0...](http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Yes-Book-Better-
Negotiation/dp/0753541092)

------
dongsheng
Well written, the mindset is more important than negotiating skills.

~~~
fecak
Well written, but the title isn't at all accurate (this is hardly a guide) -
more appropriately "Two Things to Consider Before and While Negotiating".

I think having the proper mindset is important as well, but the mindset as she
describes it seems more about managing expectations than about being an
effective negotiator. This advice may help your approach but once a
negotiation begins this content won't be very helpful.

