

Why Every Entrepreneur Should get Married - mjfern
http://www.fernstrategy.com/2010/08/31/5-reasons-why-every-entrepreneur-should-get-married/

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luckydude
I quit google, got married, we got pregnant, bought a house in San Francisco,
and started a business all in about a year (late '98-99).

My wife is on my board, technically she can be part of the set of people who
can fire me.

I don't know if marriage is the right thing for everyone, it's worked well for
me though. I think a huge part of it is who you marry, I got lucky with a very
supportive and understanding wife. We took huge risks, didn't really have a
business model (I was trying to help out Linus), she supported me throughout.

I think that support is key for any founder or early stage employee. I had a
policy, still do though it is less important these days, of getting the
blessing of the spouse before making an offer to any hire. Seems obvious to me
but a lot of people skip that step.

On kids & startups:

When the first kid came along, my wife did 100% of the work, or very close to
it. We worked out a warning system, our house was upside down, the living room
(where I worked) was upstairs; if I was on a sales call and she came in, I'd
stomp on the floor - for some reason a crying baby doesn't aid in sales :)

So for one kid, no real hit on productivity if you have a really cool wife.

When the second kid came along, I had to help, one person can't raise two
young kids without some help (or if they can, wow, my hat is off.)

Kids do change the equation a bit, things get harder, they also get better. I
personally like hiring people with kids because kids teach parents tolerance.
Before I had kids if someone just hung up on me I'd think that was really
rude. After kids, I shrug and assume that something more important (like a
bloody nose or whatever) came up and I don't get mad.

That works both ways, if I have to deal with an urgent issue and I abruptly
get off the phone with one of my people, they don't get mad either.

One other big kid related change, though age plays into it as well, is when I
work. I do my best work these days early in the morning. I'm usually awake by
4am and give up on sleep by 5am. That gives me ~2 hours of quiet time before
the kids get up. Lots of good stuff happens then.

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lusis
I want to hear more stories of entrepreneurs managing the lifestyle with
children. I think it can be done but I'm still trying to noodle out HOW.

I have 2 kids (2 yr old/6 month old). It's getting harder for my 36 year old
self to stay up all hours of the night hacking on code and such. I've got
myself on a decent schedule but it tends to catch up with me by the end of the
week:

\- Up at 7 with the kids, drop of at day sitters and at the office by 9. \-
Leave office at 5PM, dinner, bathtime and kids in bed by 8:30PM. \- Sleep in
older son's room until about 12:30 or 1AM. \- Get up, check in on wife and
other sleeping child and work on code till about 3:30 or so. \- Back to bed
and do it all over again.

My wife asked when I was going to get back on a normal schedule but when I
explained to her that the late night stuff is contributing to our future,
she's okay with it but she rightly worries about the long-term health impact.

Not only that but I'm a right prick when I don't get enough sleep ;)

I swear if/when I ever make the bank to do so, I'm going to sponsor people in
my same shoes.

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cscotta
Some really interesting points on the connections between starting a company
and a life together, especially regarding "learning to learn." Suffer through
the hard times, adapt, and celebrate the good when it comes.

Unfortunately, in the majority of America and the rest of the world, it is
illegal for many entrepreneurs to marry. If "marriage teaches you what real
love is all about," one would hope that it's not the only way.

~~~
snitko
I'm sorry, what? _it is illegal for many entrepreneurs to marry_. Am I missing
something?

~~~
qq66
I suspect he is referring to gay entrepreneurs. It was a bit of an over-the-
top way of saying it, since it seemed to imply something specifically about
entrepreneurs.

~~~
snitko
Oh, thanks for explaining. It just never occurred to me, definitely unexpected
in this context.

