Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment? - NinjaX
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bittermang
A few months after seeking help for my mental illness, I had this moment of
clarity. All the relationships that laid broken, all the opportunities that
were missed. I could suddenly see and understand how my illness had
contributed to these failures. How warped perceptions and erratic behavior
just let to ruin.

There is this stigma around pills, in society, but also in my family. I would
go to the hospital if I had bronchitis, but seeking help for mental issues was
completely off the table. You get told to suck it up, stop whining, be a man,
but all these actions really do is internalize and compound the illness.

If you're struggling with mental issues, and you're reading this, I just want
you to know that it doesn't have to be that way. There is help. You can get
help. It does not make you less of a person. It's just an illness, like any
other. If you have a cold, you wouldn't think twice about grabbing a cough
drop. This is the same. Seeking help isn't giving in or giving power to your
illness, it's you taking power over it, and gaining control of your life back
from it.

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SenHeng
Snowboarding.

There is no snow (or seasons) where I grew up. I first started snowboarding
while attending university at the tender age of 27. The combination of
multiple factors (foreign introvert with few friends, fewer snowboarding
acquaintances, living several hours far from the slopes, cost of gear, bad
career moves) stopped me from snowboarding for the next 8 years. Eventually I
chanced upon some roommates that go annually, confirming that I do indeed have
an innate love for the sport. Now older with a stable income and heck all for
others' opinions, I'll go snowboard even just by myself. I actually enjoy
snowboarding by myself but the weird thing is this sport has opened me up to
more friends, who complain when I don't ask any of them along.

I'll admit that my upbringing has given me a weird fetish for snow and cold
weather, but there's just something magical about snowboarding that I can't
explain with words.

I'm hoping to hit 50 days on the slopes this year.

~~~
mdolon
For me it was board sports in general, including snowboarding and surfing.
Both are unique and amazing in their own right.

For surfing, I had always assumed it was a hippie thing bored Californians
did. It wasn't until I tried it one summer in Hawaii that I realized the level
of physical and mental resilience you need to surf, or the meditative aspects
of it. The bulk of my time surfing is not spent standing on a surfboard but
rather paddling out or staring at the ocean, waiting for the right wave.

Similarly, after snowboarding in the mountains of Vermont a couple of winters
ago, my whole perception of mountain sports changed. While it's physically
demanding, there is a zen-like calmness to it as well. That paired with the
gorgeous mountain scenery is quite special.

~~~
actf
I also really enjoy board spots in general, and I find there seems to be
something unique about them that attracts introverts like myself, even though
snowboard/board-sport culture can sometimes be a bit "bro-ey". I often find
myself acting more extroverted and easily making friends while
snowboarding/surfing/skateboarding.

I think it has to do with the simplicity, independent nature of board sports,
and the self-reliant DIY attitude. There actually seems to be a lot of
parallels to hacker culture, which is what I think makes it really unique when
compared to other sports.

I'd really encourage others to try them, as they are a great way to get out of
the tech bubble, make friends, and be active. They really aren't all that
difficult to get started with. The learning curve is steep but short, and for
the most part they aren't all that expensive.

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adamch
Getting a solid 8+ hours of good quality sleep each night. For me this meant:

\- Sleeping/waking at the same time each night/morning \- Keeping my room cool
at night \- Relaxation exercises for both body and mind once I get into bed \-
Getting a comfortable eye mask \- Actually taking sleep seriously (read Why We
Sleep)

I feel so good each day, I have a better memory and emotional stability, and I
don't fall asleep at work any more.

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Zanni
CrossFit. I won't make any claims to CrossFit being intrinsically better than
any other fitness program, but it works for me, primarily in the sense of "the
best workout program is the one that you do." I was an on-again-off-again
runner and weight lifter for 20 years--get inspired by the New Year or a new
workout partner--only to burn out or get bored after a few months, year after
year. My CrossFit track record isn't perfect either, but it's much, _much_
better, which I attribute to the variety of the workouts, the breadth of the
exercises and the community itself. It's not for everyone, it's not without
flaws, and there are other "functional fitness" options these days, but it
beats the hell out of what I was doing before.

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pseudobry
Couple things I've tried and never looked back on:

I quit caffeine and sleep so much better now.

Got a 144hz g-sync monitor, wondered where it had been all my life. Spent 15
minutes opening and closing the start menu and moving the mouse cursor around
it was so beautiful.

Now paying for house cleaners twice a month, the extra time and reduced stress
are well worth the money.

~~~
WheelsAtLarge
How did you quit caffeine? I've tried for years now but no luck. I quit for a
few months only to come back. It's no mild addiction as I used to think. I
suspect that if it was illegal it would be as profitable as any other illegal
drug. I advise everyone I can to not get started with it.

~~~
mrfusion
I quit for a year. Being super gradual is key.

I started measuring my coffee grinds during preparation to the half teaspoon
and each two weeks I went down half a teaspoon. I filled in the rest with
decaf.

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WheelsAtLarge
The day I started using a shaving brush and soap vs shaving cream in a can. I
get a closer, smoother shave with less irritation than the canned shaving
cream. I love it and I think my razors last a bit longer too. It's definitely
a plus for me.

~~~
matt_the_bass
Me too! I shave in the shower using inexpensive blades from darko and soap.
Someone gifted me cremo shave cream. A tinny dollop is even better than soap
or brush (at least in the shower)

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throwaway713824
Working mulitiple remote jobs. I've never been 100% utilized, haven't been in
10 years. So I took on another job. I work more than one job remote in an 8
hour day. Two times the income, and I'm generally more busy, but still not
100%. Sure there are busy time but they rarely coincide.

~~~
AznHisoka
How would your employers feel about that arrangement?

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huehehue
This sounds pointed. As long as they're adhering to the terms of the
employment agreement and producing good work, I don't see why the employer
would care.

~~~
rixed
That was the first question that came to my mind as well, since I think all of
my working contracts have stipulated that I was expected to work exclusively
for the company I signed with. See, many went as far as pretending i could not
even work for another IT company even after the contract ended, as you
certainty all have experienced as well.

Unless OP is freelancing of course, but he did not sound like he is.

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yasp
Funding my 401k.

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matt_the_bass
LASIK eye surgery. I had a lot of astigmatism and a little bit of myopia. I
didn’t mind the act of wearing glasses (except for active activities) but they
don’t correct astigmatism well. I see better now 11 years post surgery that’s
i ever did before. I wished I did it 10 years earlier.

Be sure to wait until mid 20s when your eye have stopped growing/changing
quickly.

Be sure to find a high end dr that has a high candidate rejection rate. If
they accept you, you have a very high chance of success.

~~~
daleco
That's been on my TODO for a long time... How do you figure out the condidate
rejection rate?

~~~
matt_the_bass
In the US I believe this is required to be provided by the dr. At least I had
no problem finding it. They also have to provide their success rate.

At the time I did it, the cost was about 5k for the high end drs with very
high success rates. It was only about 0.5k for the “factory” drs. But they
have a much lower success rate. I suspect the higher success rate is due to
high candidate rejection rate so they have fewer patients in the queue but
charge more. My dr side about 3000 procedures a year. To me that seemed like
enough to not be burned out but also be in good practice.

Note that the vast majority of failures means only mean that you still need to
wear glasses, not something catastrophic. Also most failures are elegiable to
get a second procédure at no cost once they are fully healed (about 6 months).

5 minutes after the procedure my vision was Better than before and continued
to improve for about 2 months. The one side effect I had was dry eyes for
about 6 months. I just needed eye drops 3-4 times a day.

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miguelrochefort
Eating once a day.

It's hard to imagine going back to the inconvenience of eating 3 times a day.

~~~
kart23
Wow. I'm impressed. I couldn't imagine eating less than 3 times a day, my body
needs the calories. How do you do it?

~~~
Rodneyj
Why do you think he eats fewer calories than you?

~~~
babygoat
People can only fit so much food in their stomach in one sitting.

~~~
mrfusion
You can always eat more calorie dense foods. I could eat three pints of ice
cream on an empty stomach. That’s 4500 calories.

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santypk4
Start traveling while working remotely

I quit my 9-5 job and started to accept freelancing jobs, now I'm 10 thousand
miles away from home, enjoying sunny days with less stress and better life
quality. Not going back soon.

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ekanes
Weight training (& health generally) and BJJ (sanity, health, confidence)

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yroc92
Working from home for myself on my own projects and freelancing.

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hkon
work as an independent consultant. same jobs, 5x the pay.

~~~
ragnask4k
I find this hard to believe. If you were a developer making 100k before that
would mean you&re developer making 500k now. Impossible? No. Improbable? Yes.

Maybe twice the pay, Id believe that.

~~~
ackidacki
I've had a similar experience to this guy. It depends on the number of days
but I reckon 5x is average. It only takes a couple of days of the first week
in a month to cross the threshold of 1x.

Also there can be a secondary multiplier if you have 2 gigs at once. So 5x
becomes 10x if you have two.

I don't think most people who do this are interested in going at it this way
252 days a year though but yeah if one's keen to 500k is possible.

~~~
chillacy
How high can you go? Senior devs at google can pull 300k+ with stock at the L5
level, does contracting scale in the same way or is 500k atypical?

~~~
ackidacki
Well it depends, people turn it into whole businesses and get additional staff
to arbitrage the hourly rates. I've seen a couple get 4m+

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adamch
Meditation. Most days I meditate around the corner from work during lunch. It
massively improves my mood, gives me new perspective, sometimes gives me a
physical body high like a good edible, and helps me focus.

I usually meditate again before I leave work, which makes me less tired. I now
have the energy to go out and socialise after work.

I initially dismissed meditation as stupid, but many of the smartest people I
know and respect do it. Eventually I just said, "what if I'm wrong". Haven't
looked back.

I can recommend starting with the Headspace app and The Mind Illuminated book.

~~~
benvineyard
I felt the same way as you but finally started meditating twice a day for the
past couple of days. I have already noticed less stress and anxiety symptoms
during my day with an improved focus. Highly recommend.

