
An Open Letter to the Woman Who Told My Family to Go Back to China - danso
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/10/nyregion/to-the-woman-who-told-my-family-to-go-back-to-china.html
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chillacy
I don't work in SF, but the last time I visited and was walking down the
streets of SF with my friend (both Asian American), I had someone tell us to
go back to our home countries. I haven't experienced that in Seattle, so I
chalked it up to high economic tensions in SF (this was back when the Google
Bus protests were a thing).

> Yet somehow I still often feel like an outsider.

As I've started becoming more aware of how race affects how you get treated in
America, I've given up on identifying as American, despite growing up here,
being a citizen, and not speaking my parent's native language very well.

I find it much easier to identify as Asian-American now, and there is a sense
of comradery, especially in cities with smaller AA populations. A nice side
effect is that I no longer get bothered when someone asks me that oh-so-
annoying question "where are you from" meaning "what ethnicity are you".

~~~
patleeman
I'm Chinese American and I agree. I too find it easier to identify as Chinese-
American / Asian-American.

I live in and was born and raised in NYC around large Asian communities, so I
feel like I'm fortunate to grow up learning about my parent's culture and
where they're from but at the same time I'm a child of a completely different
culture. I often find myself feeling torn between the two. I'm not Chinese, my
birth certificate proves I'm American, however I often don't feel like I can
represent myself as either.

My fiance is White American and the glances and stares we get when we're in
more homogeneous parts of the country are pretty telling.

~~~
dsajames
My wife is two inches taller than me barefoot and wears heels. You should see
the looks we get.

What does it matter if you get looks from people who have no value to you? You
would get even more stares in parts of China.

------
ChristianGeek
As a Caucasian (and human being), I'm so sorry that happened. Personally, my
first instinct would have been to yell at her to "go back to Europe," but it
sounds like that would have gone right over her head.

~~~
wushupork
Yeah a better comeback would have been something like "yeah, after you give
this land back to the natives". I don't know how to handle these types of
people.

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fallinghawks
American born Chinese checking in. I don't like to leave my little cushion
called the Bay Area for this reason. In grade school I had my share of being
called "Jap" and adults complimenting my English skills, but as an adult, the
only racist remarks and behaviors (i.e. microaggressions) I've encountered in
the past 20 years come from Facebookers in Idaho or thereabouts.

I consider myself an American, not hyphenated, who possesses more knowledge of
Chinese culture than average. My close friends come in a variety of colors and
as far as I can tell, we are just ourselves. That's not to say racism doesn't
happen at all in the Bay Area, but we do have the luxury of being considered
"nothing unusual" most of the time.

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danso
I know this sounds silly, but one of my proudest days as a newcomer New Yorker
was when a tourist asked me for directions, as if I were a native New Yorker
and not a foreign Asian tourist. Even though I was born in the Midwest, I was
never assumed to actually be a native Midwesterner. New York is so diverse
that it's not particularly strange for anyone of any race to be an American,
or at least American enough to know where Times Square is.

------
brazzledazzle
>That no matter what we do, how successful we are, what friends we make, we
don’t belong. We’re foreign. We’re not American.

That's terrible. I can't even imagine. I wonder what we can do to help change
this?

~~~
mistermann
I would say it's a two way street....natives have to be more welcoming yes,
but non-natives should also not be so eager to play the race card, sometimes a
person is just a jerk and race is an easy insult.

But even beyond that, I personally believe the "just don't be racist, everyone
is the same after all" belief is rather naive. I suspect that there are in
fact in some places and in some ways, increasing racism against certain
groups, specifically mainland Chinese. The mainstream narrative that there is
no such thing as culture is so obviously false, I honestly take people with
these opinions about as seriously as they take redneck Trump supporters.

If you want me to pretend that everyone is the same, and that immigration has
absolutely zero affect, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to disagree (but I
will try to be welcoming and polite).

------
gjolund
Why is this on HN?

