

I have a baby and I’m doing a startup. Whoopie - tarabrown
http://tarathetiger.com/2010/10/29/i-have-a-baby-and-im-doing-a-startup-whoopie/

======
thesethings
(Disclaimer: I don't have kids, and none of my close friends do. This is
purely from observation.)

I think one thing that deserves more scrutiny is how hard it is to have a
'regular' W2 job and have a baby.

I've seen a few parents become entrepreneurs after having kids not because
they want to work _less_ (ha!), but because they want/need to work at odd
hours, in odd places, with babies on their laps, without any heat/ politics/
favors/ specially negotiated deals at the day job.

In the US at least, any kind of unconventional work set-up can be kind of a
pain in the butt (working from home, working 4 extremely long days, etc).

Having a kid could be a _second_ great reason to have a start-up, in some
cases.

~~~
jtbigwoo
You're right to a point. The big benefit to working a regular job is that
there's a whole infrastructure of day care, preschool, sports, music lessons,
etc. built around your schedule. In a start up or even a job with odd hours
this infrastructure doesn't work quite as well.

~~~
tpz
You're also right, to a point. :) I suspect that at some point in the past,
and perhaps even today for some limited set of careers (though none that would
really apply to anyone on HN), the regular job and the infrastructure are at
odds more often that one might hope. Given commutes, expectations held by
'regular' employers, etc., so much of this is incredibly restrictive in this
day and age.

For your examples and how they apply in my city, at least:

day care - Fingers crossed you never get stuck at work late, or caught in a
nasty rush hour, because your day care has very specific pick-up hours, will
charge you big-time if you are late, and good ones may very well fire you as a
client if you are late too often.

preschool - Pre-school schedules are not even remotely aligned with 'regular'
job hours.

sports - As but one example, do you have any idea the hours hockey moms and
dads (not to mention the kids) keep so they can take part in their sport? It's
no wonder there are hockey parent fight breakouts from time to time. The
parents are exhausted! :)

music lessons - This one isn't so bad, especially as kids get older, but can
be much like daycare in that if you're late from work your kids either miss
their lesson or are stranded afterwards.

I, for one, would much rather restructure my life so as to work from home
during hours that I more directly control than work a 'regular' job. It'll be
_easier_ to take advantage of much of the infrastructure, and would eliminate
my need to even utilize some of it at all.

------
tptacek
We had two kids within the lifespan of my second startup (the first I actually
founded, and the first VC-funded company I worked at) from 1998-2001. It was
hard. Erin got the short end of the stick. Still digging my way out of that
hole.

------
tlrobinson
Not all startups are created equal, and I suspect most of the people
disagreeing with Jason's post aren't doing the same kinds of startups he's
thinking of: VC-backed "swinging for the fences" startups. Or at least aren't
at that stage yet.

That's awesome you're able to start a company, work from home, and be with
your baby, but if you're the founder/CEO of a startup with millions of dollars
of VC funding and dozens of employees things are likely _very_ different.

~~~
thesethings
Given where the founders are from, and the fact that they're seeking funding,
it seems like it's exactly that kind of start-up it could become.

~~~
tlrobinson
Ok, but it's not there yet, which is my point. I have yet to see an example of
someone who did build, say, a $100+ million company, while raising a baby, and
didn't regret it.

I do hope they can some day offer a counter example to Jason's (and my)
hypothesis though.

------
jacquesm
Super! The image next to the homepage entry really rams it home, a friend of
mine got a little statue from her dad to celebrate her status as a female
entrepreneur, a lady on rollerskates with a cell phone in one hand, a bottle
in the other, clutching a briefcase and feeding a baby at the same time.

She's a single mom on top of all of the 'normal' challenges this would bring,
and she's doing an amazing job of it.

Colour me impressed, and keep at it, with a drive like that I'm sure you will
succeed.

------
conorh
I'm doing a startup at the moment and we have a 3 month old. My wife is a
surgery resident, so she works long hours and is not able to help out very
much. I think the only reason we are able to do this is that we have my mother
in law staying with us, and I work from home. It can be _very_ hard at times
to balance the schedule even with her helping. I get quite a lot of code done
late at night when the baby is asleep, but the focused uninterrupted coding
time that I used to be able to do just doesn't happen as often.

------
jbail
You really need to see the graphic on her homepage to appreciate this story
even more: <http://tarathetiger.com/>

~~~
wglb
Another dimension to multitasking.

------
wglb
Key phrase: _Many times I considered quitting because I just wanted to sleep_.
Unless you have raised a kid or two and are not a woman, it is unlikely that
you can appreciate the sincerity of that simple statement.

~~~
pbhjpbhj
>Unless you have raised a kid or two and are not a woman, it is unlikely that
you can appreciate the sincerity of that simple statement.

I don't understand this statement. To me it says "Unless you've raised
children and are a man" then you can't understand the concept of needing to
quit because of lack of sleep?

Why does it matter which sex you are. Personally, as a man, getting 3 hours
sleep between a very full day of childcare and night of work and another round
of the same makes me exhausted and has pushed me to very unhealthy behaviour.

Mix that with some poverty and I was considering quitting life.

------
rogerclark
I'm a guy, and I don't have a kid, but "whoopie" is basically what I thought
when I saw those other articles.

I would think that a startup -- especially in the initial stages -- would be
way easier to manage than a traditional 9-5 tech job you're already heavily
obligated to. Of course a startup has a different set of challenges, but not
having to attend to rigid meeting schedules and such could be quite a bit
easier for child-rearing purposes.

------
erikstarck
Ripley and Noot? Someone has been watching a lot of Aliens.

Interesting read, though. I just became a father myself so these posts strike
a chord with me.

------
gregpilling
I am impressed. My wife got tenure having two kids, so I have been there for
the nights and the "honey I have to work late so this paper gets out" more
than a few times. Now we have three kids and two companies. Its hard, but it
can be done.

------
jdp23
Great post, thanks for sharing it. the story about breastfeeding on the plane
just a row away from somebody you were in a meeting with and then having to
pump in the airport is the kind of stuff that guys (or for that matter women
who aren't moms) don't have to deal with.

------
Mz
This remark (near the end of the piece) mirrors what I was thinking:

 _I mean come on, Jason Calacanis is rich, his wife stays at home and they
have a night nanny. Not exactly a tough situation. What’s tough is single
mothers and fathers trying to raise their kids by themselves. Me and the
“Jasons” have supportive spouses who are at home for big chunks of time._

~~~
jasonmcalacanis
Yes, guilty as charged. We have the ability to have unlimited help.

HOWEVER, when you have a child you don't want to outsource it (at least if
you're well adjusted from what I can tell). Do we have a full-time nanny? yes.
A full-time house keeper? yes. night nurse, 24 hour folks? nope.

Basically i want to spend the weekend with the kid, not hand her off and go
play poker for 12 hours.

well, that's not exactly true... i want to do everything, but realize that
until we remove sleep from our list of needs, or develop clones, i've got to
choose!

it's hard for EVERYONE, let alone those with limited resources. this is why i
have big respect to SINGLE parents. can you imagine doing a startup AND
raising a kid--alone!

they should make a move about that. :-)

~~~
Mz
I'm not suggesting you are "guilty" of anything. Just that reading what
someone like you is doing to cope with such a situation isn't likely to help
someone like me figure out how to move forward in terms of juggling all the
things I have to deal with. And folks like me are probably a lot more abundant
than folks like you. I have health problems, financial problems, am divorced
and still have two sons living with me. They are both legal adults but neither
has an income of their own and they are both special needs kids (as am I).

This is the best quality of life situation I have ever had and in some ways I
am also fairly privileged: I still get substantial alimony (many women don't
get substantial alimony long term) and I have some education and I'm
reasonably intelligent. So I am not without assets of my own, even
extraordinary/unusual assets. Still, I remain enormously frustrated with my
own desire to start something on the side that might someday allow me to work
from home and leave my day job -- which isn't simply a "want" in my case.
Because of my health issues and the issues my sons have (one of whom has the
same medical condition I have), we really need to make that happen.

So when I see pieces about how someone is juggling work, kids, and a side
project, I read it in hopes it will help me. But people with a nanny probably
don't have much to say that will help me move my goals and projects forward.
That's a completely different sphere than the one I live in. That's all I'm
saying. Has nothing to do with anyone being guilty of something.

Peace.

