

Get your rejection on with the Journal of Universal Rejection - ednoott
http://www.math.pacificu.edu/~emmons/JofUR/

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Djabowski
I guess that this journal does not even send out rejection letters. It if did,
you could consider using this Rejection of a Job Rejection letter as a
template for a reply:

Rejection of rejection letter

Dear Sir or Madame,

Thank you for your letter of February 9th. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a job
in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large
number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of
candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your department's outstanding qualifications and previous experience
in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your department this
March. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely, <you>, Esq.

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zdw
The contrarian in me would want to send him something so stupendously and
awesomely good that he'd actually want to publish it but couldn't.

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andresmh
if you like academic jokes, check this other one: <http://phdchallenge.org>

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mayank
So _this_ is where I've been submitting my papers to...

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lifthrasiir
If you like JofUR then you may also enjoy Rejecta Mathematica:
<http://math.rejecta.org/> (Note: it is in fact serious by the way.)

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niyazpk
I can produce the exact same results from any Journal.

