

Look Into My Eyes... - nonrecursive
http://www.learngrowdo.com/2010/01/look-into-my-eyes/

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nonrecursive
This is something I wrote that I just wanted to share with the folks here.
It's my first attempt at longer, more descriptive/engaging writing. I hope you
enjoy it (even if it might not be strictly "hacker news").

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dunstad
I enjoyed reading it. Without getting too picky, the biggest thing I'd work on
is making the article more cohesive. I get how superpowers and hypnosis are
related, and I get how hypnosis is related to influencing people with words,
but there's a lot of disconnect between A and C.

The fourth and fifth paragraphs bored me a bit, so I skipped down to the next
section. I don't find the history of magic and hypnosis nearly as interesting
as your experiences with it, though perhaps that's a personal preference.

I like the way you present words as tools to build or break bridges between
people. That seems closest to what the piece is about.

Finally, take my words with a grain of salt. It's your writing, after all.
(P.S. Stephen King's _On Writing_ is a great source of writing advice if
you're interested.)

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nonrecursive
Thanks for the feedback. You know, I actually find the fourth and fifth
paragraphs kinda boring myself. It seems like they either shouldn't be there
or should be elaborated somehow. Someone else mentioned making it a short
story, and I think if I were to do that I would add more to those paragraphs.

One of the ideas that informed the writing (which I believe I first read on
HN, incidentally), is something along the lines of "People rarely understand
each other, and when they do it's usually by accident." That sentiment keeps
coming up for me because I love, live with, and take care of someone with an
illness which affects her cognitive function. She often can't find the right
words, and it's been a struggle for me to let go of my perfectly reasonable
interpretation of what she's said and believe her when she tells me she meant
something different.

For example, one night she said to me "You're such a wuss" when she meant
"You're such a softie". This was so bizarre that it didn't bother me, but
there have been other times when I've gotten pretty hurt.

I can see how that experience might not be at all related to what I wrote, but
the basic idea I'm trying to convey is my coming to understand how one of the
only meaningful "powers" I can develop is the ability to connect with others,
and the difficulty of that task.

