Ask HN: What's your next goal in self-improvement? - x2f10
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muzani
I'd like to commit to a really modest lifestyle, maybe until 2025, and see
where I end up.

No high ambitions. No lust for good food or sugary water. No compulsion to
impress anyone, including clients and bosses. No raging at things I don't take
action on.

I'd like to go to bed, calm, not worried about the books I need to be reading
or the projects I should be finishing. I'd like to actually be bored, and
accept the boredom as a fine thing.

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fnirsppspsp
Throwaway cause this is personally embarrassing - have some semblance of a
relationship with the opposite sex. I'm in my late twenties and have never
been in any sort of romantic relationship. Never had sex or even kissed. I
don't know what it is but I keep preventing myself from going through with any
of these. I have just about everything else going half decently: I have a well
paying job, some friends, hobbies, my own apartment, etc. but something in my
psyche doesn't let me venture down that path. I have had a few dates here and
there which obviously led to nothing, which leads me to wonder what is wrong
with me. Actually committing myself to dating and romantic relationships would
be a huge step in my life.

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svenhof
There is nothing wrong with you.

~~~
meiraleal
there is, he admits it and wants to fix. He is not going to be happier if we
tell him that he should just be happy with what he have. He wants to have a
healthy/happy romantic relationship with someone and he deserves it, and it is
not a problem to have to work to fix it.

I had the same problem in the past and as a hacker I made a plan to fix it. I
can tell you that it worked really well and I barely recognize myself from 5
years ago. But this change wasn't easy and was related to lots of areas in my
life: friends, family, fitness, nutrition, work, interests in life. More than
wanting to date someone, I invested in becoming someone people want to date.

~~~
yesenadam
I really love this: "I invested in becoming someone people want to date." Very
wise words.

Although this sentence (about the kind of people people want to date) from La
Bruyere's _Characters_ flashed cynically into my mind a moment later. :-)

 _A man who is vain, indiscreet, a great talker and a mischievous wag, who
speaks arrogantly of himself and contemptuously of others, who is boisterous,
haughty, forward, without morality, honesty, or commonsense, and who draws for
facts on his imagination, wants nothing else, to be adored by many women, but
handsome features and a good shape._

Also it reminded me of George Clooney writing somewhere that he started
getting acting work after he totally changed his mindset in auditions–from
asking, pleading _give me something I want_ , to seeing himself as offering
his talents, contributing something unique to the production–he had something
_they_ wanted, or should.

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non-entity
Most importantly I want to put on weight. At least 30-40lbs. Unfortunately I'm
still trying to work out how to optimize my diet because I can only eat so mo
much until I become bloated and moderately nauseous

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methusala8
I'd like to improve my ability to focus and to gear my life towards optimal
performance. This should take care of multiple challenges that I facing today.

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ctocoder
I'd like to stop being my own worst critic, self-sabotage, and build something
that improves someone else's life (and make money doing it)

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italiano
make more money/learn to code

