
I know my lack of extreme excitement can be off-putting - domino
http://www.gabrielweinberg.com/blog/2011/09/my-lack-of-extreme-excitement-can-be-off-putting.html
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timr
Amen. I'm exactly the same way. There should be a support group.

Worse than being merely off-putting, I think it actively hurts, personally and
professionally, when your don't get as excited over every little thing as your
peers. People take it as a sign of indifference, and judge you for not being a
"team player" or other such nonsense.

I long ago learned that it's always best to keep your mouth shut rather than
saying negative things in public (though it can certainly be a lot less fun).
But the little trap that no one warns you about is that it's possible to be
perceived as negative simply by being less enthusiastic than baseline. And it
drives me _nuts_ when people put me into positions where my only option is to
feign enthusiasm, or to say something negative:

Rude Person: _"isn't Yanni just the most brilliant musician ever? And how
about that Kenny G -- jazz will never be the same, right?"_

Me: _"um. indeed."_

This kind of stuff happens all the time, and it never gets any easier to
navigate.

~~~
Jach
I'd bet that enthusiasm is significantly related to memory, too.

"What's the most exciting project you've worked on?"

"What's your most exciting vacation?"

If I haven't already considered the case for such interview/icebreaker
questions, I just don't tend to remember things on that axis since most of
them kind of clump together around the origin. So if I want to even try and
give an answer they were looking for, I have to do a random search through a
bunch of memories and guess at levels. Or default to the first thing I
remember regardless.

~~~
aangjie
My lack of excitement was interpreted as a lack of passion. And I was told
startups look for passion. So sorry. I found it both annoying and silly.
Silly, because the founder hadn't sounded any more excited than me and passion
is such a vague term for him to look for.

The irony is i can and have gotten extremely excited (mostly when i am not
recalling anything similar) in the past, but found that it is a disappointment
almost always. So nowadays, i try to recall similar things and try to see the
differences.

~~~
amcintyre
> My lack of excitement was interpreted as a lack of passion. And I was told
> startups look for passion. So sorry. I found it both annoying and silly.

I was just told the same thing at a big company. I'm sorry, but I thought I
was hired to develop good software, not be on a cheerleading squad. My
mistake.

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prpon
I've never been impressed by any of the startups that are released in the last
few years (YC or other wise). Including my own products. I find them run of
the mill, meh kind.

The last product that I thought was cool, was Dropbox and that was a few years
ago.

I was doing this judgment thing while I am trying to promote my own products.
And I realize how hard it is, how difficult it is to find anyone to give a
shit.

I now applaud anyone who gets a semblance of recognition or notoriety.
Gimmicks or otherwise. I know how hard it is to pull those off. May be some
are lucky and are born to attract the world towards them. But most are not.

There must have been an incredible amount of sacrifice, self doubt and
disappointment that I do not know about.

I now celebrate every one's victories, no matter how small they are. I know
how hard they are to come by.

------
5hoom
Gabriel Weinberg is amazing at blogging! He revolutionised the anti-extreme
excitement movement!

Seriously though, it is a good idea not to get swept up in the waves of
hysterical enthusiasm that can follow some personalities and companies.

As the post states, apathy isn't the answer. I think a bit of healthy
skepticism is all that's needed to be able to see past most PR/fanboy noise.

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frou_dh
In my experience, the difference in _default level of communicated excitement_
between UK and US teams can lead to friction because to the Americans it seems
like the Brits are being surly at all times.

~~~
arethuza
The differences in default humour settings are also _really_ noticeable on
transatlantic conference calls.

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Bo102010
I'm the same way - I can't remember the last time I became so excited about
something that I became visibly animated.

Like Gabriel says, that doesn't mean I'm not passionate, but others may
interpret it as such, or think that I don't care at all about anything.

When something happens and I feel like there's a risk of someone
misinterpreting my lack of visible reaction as something it isn't... I give a
visible reaction.

That is, if something legitimately good and exciting happens, and I'm the only
one in the room not celebrating, I'll force a smile/laugh/shout if there's
someone present who doesn't know me well enough to understand my stoicism.

I don't feel like a fraud or phony for doing this; doing it is like
accommodating a guest. If I raise my voice when talking to someone who has
hearing loss, I'm not faker, even though I don't normally talk that way. If I
use simple English to talk to someone who primarily speaks Spanish, I'm not
being duplicitous.

It's not a disavowal of my personality or "wiring" to do this; it's a
recognition that not everyone is so familiar with me to understand my
particular emotional set point.

~~~
enjalot
I also share this stoicism, and have a good friend who is the complete
opposite.

I like that this thread both supports people like us, but also reminds that it
has a real effect on communication with others. I like how you put it, it's
like we need to learn to speak their language to keep communicating.

The burden is on us, because our natural state is to not communicate in the
ways they are used to.

My friend has come to understand me and now knows how to read and question me
to pull what he wants out, but I do think that many more people are like him
than you or I.

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Mithrandir
What I hate is when someone gets uber-excited about x and I don't, they then
get offended because they think I don't like it all that much or that I don't
like them. Yet if I say something critical (constructive or not) about x, they
also get offended, even if they have nothing to do with it. I guess there's no
'right' thing to say.

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resnamen
I know some people that have the excitement-meter ratcheted up to 11. I don't
put any faith into what they have to say, because the hyperbole makes it so
hard to separate the wheat from the chaff.

I have noticed a similar trend in the last few years of startups - the field's
just so crowded, everybody's trying their hardest to get noticed, so what
better way to attract attention than to bludgeon the word "awesome" into a
bloody pulp?

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jsmcgd
I've often regarded this as one of the main cultural differences between
Americans and Britons (with Gabriel being more like a Brit in this particular
generali[z|s]ation).

And my conclusion is that this phenomenon cuts both ways. There are benefits
and downsides to being highly enthusiastic or being reserved and I'm glad that
there are different kinds of people on this planet. Kumbaya.

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sadlyNess
That's what the aikido principle, Living Calmness or Seishi, is, IMO. Just
because i'm not expressing my enthusiasm, doesnt mean i don't think its cool,
I'm just Calm.

<http://www.aikiweb.com/spiritual/reed1.html>

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cafard
Somebody wrote that the English "His work is quite sound, actually" may be
equivalent to or exceed the American "His work sets the standard we all aspire
to." The fellow writing was a dean at Virginia Tech; I remember the name of
the book as _To Rise Above Principle_.

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pawn
This was a very fascinating read. As I was reading it, I kept thinking "I
didn't write this, did I?" I've honestly ne er read or heard someone as
accurately describe the way I feel about getting excited about stuff. My
friends tell me I'm weird for not getting more excited - one swears I'm an
android. Truth is though, I feel it's a strengh of character that we can
control our excitement. It allows us to stay rational in situations that
others find impossible.

------
benmmurphy
i think the problem is people find it hard to adjust to other people's
different excitement baselines. if you are less excitable or more excitable it
shouldn't really matter because people should be able to adjust in the long
term to take more notice or less notice. i'd be more suspicious of people who
have high excitement baselines because it seems like it might be more
beneficial to have high excitement than low excitement.

------
michaelochurch
Something I have learned is that at least some varieties of "extreme
excitement" are a sign of character flaws, an indication that someone's trying
to sell something not worth buying. That said, a morose lack of any excitement
is also a negative sign. Best to be in the middle, a bit subtle but with a
keen eye for quality and an affectionate (but not infatuated) respect for
excellence combined with a reasoned aversion to idiocy and disease.

Also, something one learns over time is that the startup/technology world also
has its in-crowds and celebrity bullshit just like any other social ecosystem.
Yes, we have people getting million-dollar checks who don't deserve them; it
happens. The celebrity nonsense is generated by, and it benefits, people of
low character who really don't belong in our world, people who care more about
exclusive parties and velvet ropes than about buckling down and getting shit
done and building something great. The good news is that in 15 years, each and
every one of them will be a bitter, morose has-been. (I made the mistake of
working for a late-'90s dot-com celebrity, someone who spent more money than
most people make in 20 years on a fucking launch party before crashing and
burning a year later. Details withheld since this is my real name.)

------
rokhayakebe
Well then I do have one advise. Do get excited. And next time it happens,
scream a little. Laugh out loud. Hug the person next to you. "There is no
growth in comfort".

~~~
palish
Oh, sod off. Some people simply can't. I know, because I'm one. We're still
excited -- we just don't show it.

Literally, we can't. You may as well be asking us to detach our arm.

~~~
gallamine
You can't perform those physical actions? Were not talking about conjuring a
feeling, were talking about emulation the actions that usually accompany them.

~~~
_delirium
Isn't forcing yourself to emulate an expression pretty weird, though? It
reminds me of the companies that demand everyone be "enthusiastic" and love
their "fun workplace", rather than just allowing people to be quietly good at
their job (<http://www.kmjn.org/notes/funsultants_and_gamification.html>).

