
Japan’s Rent-a-Family Industry - ALee
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/04/30/japans-rent-a-family-industry
======
sdrothrock
This is a repost of
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16927649](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16927649)
from two weeks ago.

So in that vein, here's my comment on that one:

Getting a little tired of these showing up. Yes, these services exist, yes
some people use them, and yes, it's totally "weird Japan."

But no, they're not anywhere NEAR mainstream. I think using the word
"industry" really makes the reader think it is and imagine a huge,
dysfunctional society. I do appreciate the paragraph or so where they point
out that this kind of thing has existed and does exist in other countries, as
well -- I just don't understand why people always insist on pointing at a
minor subculture in Japan and writing entire spiels about it as if it were a
common thing.

Imagine a Japanese writer talking about the "greased pig chasing industry" in
America.

~~~
aclimatt
I'm not sure how that's relevant. As others pointed out, even if it's very
niche, it still exists. Yes, there are a number of articles fetishizing all of
the "weird" aspects of Japan and perhaps in some way making them seem
pervasive to people who haven't visited, but this article is doing absolutely
none of that. (And even if it were, that's not the point.)

I'm going to gather you didn't make it past the first few paragraphs, because
the entire point of the article, particularly in the last third, is an
analysis of reality and what constitutes real relationships. The author tries
to use this subculture to evaluate the context of families, unconditional
love, and how money may or may not change the equation. For that reason, I
think it's one of the best articles I've read recently, as it's a thought-
provoking insight into human needs and the realities of modern relationships.

Give it another read. Just because the story takes place in Japan, doesn't
mean it's about Japan.

~~~
anonthu2018
I think adding perspective is extremely relevant.

If I did not read sdrothrock's comment, I really would have a completely
different view of Japan and Japanese society.

I often feel a lot of these Western articles on various Asian cultures to be
quite disingenuous.

The point of the article is entirely different if this was a common occurrence
in Japanese society versus it being based on a tiny, niche, that affects less
than 0.1% of Japanese people.

As an analogy, imagine a Japanese article talking about "American family
relationships" based on child beauty pageants and Honey Boo Boo.

~~~
coldtea
> _I often feel a lot of these Western articles on various Asian cultures to
> be quite disingenuous._

Half of it is people that haven't lived abroad, and are not familiar with
different cultures (or are only shallowly familiar) not being able to image a
different way of life and set of values as "normal".

Another half of it is media wanting to paint a story such as that is larger
and more impressive than it actually is.

------
jasonszhao
> “She was acting as a rental daughter, but at the same time she was telling
> me how she felt as a real daughter,” he said. “And yet, if it was a real
> father-daughter relationship, maybe she wouldn’t have spoken this honestly.”
> ... Yūichi Ishii, the founder of Family Romance, told me that he and his
> “cast” actively strategize in order to engineer outcomes like Nishida’s, in
> which the rental family makes itself redundant in the client’s life.

> I thought about my missed shrink appointment, and about a psychology
> professor I met, Kenji Kameguchi, who has been trying for the past thirty
> years to popularize family therapy in conflict-averse, stoical Japan, where
> psychotherapy is still stigmatized. He said that he thought rental relatives
> were, in an unschooled way, fulfilling some of the functions of group-
> therapy techniques such as psychodrama, in which patients act out and
> improvise one another’s past situations or mental processes.

From this reading, it seems to me that Japan's fake relatives are the
equivalent of counselors and psychiatrists in other countries.

~~~
stcredzero
If truth be told, the ersatz family, in some form or another, has been an
important function in society since time immemorial. We're just not always
honest with ourselves about it, and it's much easier to see it and comment
about it from the distance of another culture.

I am reminded of the sad story from this Dar Williams song, where young
partiers and the stock photos from picture frames serve this function for a
Peter Pan syndrome man.

[https://g.co/kgs/oM3hCR](https://g.co/kgs/oM3hCR)

------
nevatiaritika
I cannot help but get irked at the pity-projections that the western media has
on Japan.

The structure of the article itself is made to sound how the war has damaged
the social aspects of Japan - and how the numbers prove so. It starts with the
story of a person using these services, till a point you realize the satire.
Then the downfalls of such services while gracefully pushing in some
irrelevant history.

In reality, showing this article to any average Japanese person in Japan, they
would feel this is absurd. No such industry exists, there are a couple of
weird companies popping up everywhere across the globe. Heard about the fake
social media pictures company in the USA?

These articles need to stop! Every publication is increasingly posting these
uncanny ideas about how strange this country is, too much western obsession.

------
ergothus
This sounds pretty wacky at first blush...then I remember a time post-college,
post-divorce where I would go to hibachi restaurants because they would seat
me with other people.

It wasn't a long period of time, but loneliness can be a real and powerful
thing. Everyone is happy to offer solutions, but few actually acknowledge how
it feels while you're trying to get a solution to work.

------
hamslamwich
If I pay extra, will they make awkward politically-charged comments in front
of my friends, just like the real thing?

~~~
Consultant32452
I'm not racist, but...

~~~
ergothus
I think that was a comment about families in general, not about these
particular people.

~~~
eric-hu
I think that comment above yours was alluding to how many family gathering
trainwreck conversations start: "I'm not (racist, sexist, homophobic, etc),
but..."

------
gremlinsinc
I think something like this could work in the U.S. ...esp. tailored at
introverts, but add a bit of psychology to the mix, instead of hiring
'relatives' ... hire people to basically help you not be so 'lonely', and also
help you to come out of your shell, maybe you struggle talking to women, they
might be able to help you with that and help you become a good
conversationalist -- etc... I get the grandma ordering up grand children
though, it can be really lonely when everyone you know is dead, or gone off to
start their own families.

A niche someone could start if they were so inclined might be: 'Big in Japan'
.. take some of these weird Japan customs/business ideas and make one umbrella
company that does it all--so anyone moving to US from Japan can continue those
customs, etc... but it's broader so it's not so niche as to not have a place.

------
TangoTrotFox
Something strikes me as odd about things like this. There is regular
discussion here on HN about how lonely some people are, depressive isolation,
and so on. And yet here people view this as 'well that's weird' for having a
company, however obscure, that would provide a product that could remedy this
solution.

I see it as little different than prostitution. Somebody wants something
that's fulfills a need that's generally provided for free * , yet if those
unwilling, unable, or uninteresting in fulfilling this desire are willing to
pay for it then why in the world aren't there more companies offering it? I
don't think this would even _inherently_ entail a denial of reality. It's just
a way for people to fulfill another psychosocial need.

------
_bxg1
What a sad world we live in where there are people who need this sort of
thing. The worst part is, I get it.

~~~
the_dave_santos
Totally, at first I thought it's weird also but after reading Kazushige
Nishida's story, it's understandable. I may use this service if I were in his
shoes.

------
operatorequals
There is a Greek movie based on the exact same idea. Its the "Alps" by George
Lanthimos (later known from "Dogtooth" movie).

I don't about Japan, but that movie had a quite depressing ending (not to
mention that the whole thing was kinda creepy and unsettling).

~~~
kazinator
There is also, unsurprisingly, a Japanese movie based on that exact same idea.
More than one, in fact.

It plays a part in _Noriko 's Dinner Table_.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noriko%27s_Dinner_Table](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noriko%27s_Dinner_Table)

This is referenced in the plot summary: _[...] As it turns out, however,
Kumiko has no real family, and the people she introduced Noriko to are paid
actors working for Kumiko 's organisation, I.C. Corp. The organisation offers
paid roleplay services to interested clients, allowing them to fulfill their
fantasies of a happy family life._

------
thrownaway954
“I thought I was a strong person,”But when you end up alone you feel very
lonely.”

BOOM right there... Loneliness and isolation causes people to do weird and
desperate things. If you're lonely and isolating it might be time to join a
group or get a pet. There are thousands upon thousands of groups everywhere
and online (though meeting in person is preferred to combat the isolation
part).

Personally I see these types of "industries" as predatory... they are no
different from the snake-oil salesman selling a dying man a cure for cancer.

------
oceanman888
I have always been seeing this as a solid need especially in Japan. I know
several people in japan who recently divorced that experience loneliness, they
would host dinners and meet-ups like every week or so. Plus young people are
dating less and less here, Plus Plus there are a lot of socially awkward
people who will have a hard time trying to build a family.

~~~
irtefa
"Plus young people are dating less and less here" \- I keep seeing this a lot.
Why are people dating less and less?

~~~
rangibaby
The short answer is money. <50 people now work the same amount as their
parents generation for much less money and benefits.

People are more interested in spending the money and time they have on hanging
out with their friends or their hobbies than dating.

Basically all of Japan’s “problems” boil down to society cutting inputs then
acting shocked that the output has dropped, then choosing to blame the younger
generations instead of helping them. Cf. avocado toast in the west

~~~
fiblye
When it comes to life in Tokyo in particular, people really do not have time
for anything outside of work and a small slice of time on weekends (if you
even get that--overtime is even more crushing if you're a man since you're
born to work). When you factor in the overtime and 45-90 minute commutes each
way, that really doesn't leave any time to do anything else. In smaller
cities, the commute isn't nearly as bad as Tokyo so that provides a little
more breathing room, and that's why I chose to live away from Tokyo despite
fewer job options and being in a fairly "boring" town.

And when it comes to money, it's primarily based on age and nothing else. A 59
year old thumb twiddler counting down the days until he can retire and chug
some beers from morning to night will easily be getting paid more than double
a 28 year old engineer whose work is the backbone of the company.

------
lanius
Here's an interview with the founder of the rent-a-family agency mentioned in
the article: [https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2017/11/paying-
fo...](https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2017/11/paying-for-fake-
friends-and-family/545060/)

~~~
vichu
Link to previous HN discussion on this article:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15651510](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15651510)

------
masonic
[https://hn.algolia.com/?query=Japan%E2%80%99s%20Rent-a-
Famil...](https://hn.algolia.com/?query=Japan%E2%80%99s%20Rent-a-
Family%20Industry&sort=byDate&dateRange=all&type=story&storyText=false&prefix&page=0)

------
psychdarch07
Every culture has their own "weirdness". It might seem weird to some us, but
hey, who are we to tell them how to cope up with their lives if we can't even
fix our own.

~~~
w00kie
Don't worry, it's _very weird_ in Japan too.

------
marmot777
That story brought tears to my eyes.

