
Ask HN: Do people with families start companies? - shay_ker
I&#x27;ve been having this anxiety a lot lately, since the topic of having a family is becoming more of a reality in my life. In a way, I feel pressured to try any startup ideas I have right now, because I&#x27;m afraid that it won&#x27;t happen once I start a family.<p>Is this consistent with other people&#x27;s experience? Do people start successful companies after they&#x27;ve had kids? Is it hard to get investment?
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thiago_fm
What is the point of having a kid if you still want to start a successful
business, become a rockstar, climb mt. Everest etc...?

A lot of people already have kids and do a very poor job at it -- giving them
little time. Having a kid nowadays it's mostly a decision you can make. It
isn't worth to bring to the world yet another kid that will by age 12 hate
their parents and have huge emotional issues as they grow, because papa and
mama were busy with their careers.

So, I'd say, only do properly one thing. Other people will say that they get
better at this or that, or that it is reasonable. I don't find that possible
at all. I have a dog and my duties(cleaning, cooking, exercising, full-time
job etc) and my wife already takes up all my time and makes me wish I had more
time to spend with them.

I also want to have a kid, but after weighting down those things, I think it
is unfair: there is no way me + wife can give the same amount of time my
parents(mainly mother) gave me. The current way society works kind of sucks in
that regard. We can barely afford rent and basic expenses even though we both
went to college and got better jobs than our parents.

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deepaksurti
>> A lot of people already have kids and do a very poor job at it -- giving
them little time.

Exactly the reason why we haven't yet decided to have a kid.

All my past few software jobs have been multi geo and that really kills any
sort of me time that you can devote to yourself and family. After reaching
home, again there are calls in the evenings. I have given up any hope of
finding a software job that lets me work in one geo in one timezone. If I
don't like my evenings, I am not so sure the kid is going to like it with me
either!

I still have fun memories of spending great time with my parents after they
were both home in the evening, I just can't see that happening. I also know
how much important a part that time sharing played in my growing years.

I think if I can't devote that kind of time to the child, it is better not to
have one.

Raising a kid is a serious responsibility, just like anything else one deeply
cares about.

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codegeek
I started my company after I had my first kid when she was only 1 years old.
So yea, it is very possible. Nothing should stop you except your own
insecurities. It definitely gets a bit harder with children but it is not why
you will fail. Change your mentality and focus on the goal of starting a
company. Use your family/kids as an advantage instead of hinderance. For
example, I got more disciplined after my kid was born and it has made me a
better and organized person. I HAVE to wake up early even if I don't feel like
it. That is a good thing. So make this an advantage and go do what you want to
do.

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pkrotich
I started out with family... it was though, especially if your spouse /
partner doesn’t understand demands of startup.

That said, I recently became a father again (after a big gap) and surprisingly
I manage my time way better now - yes, it’s challenging but also brings about
laser focus and in my opinion forced work-home balance.

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muzani
I did. Even spent a few months away from home at the accelerator to get stuff
done. You'll need a supportive spouse and co-founder. It helped that I was
broke. Family members are much less supportive of those who leave a good job
to do a startup, than those who do it because they have no choice.

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tlb
If you can arrange your life optimally, I'd recommend not running a startup
while your kids are small. You'll constantly struggle to divide your time.

But people certainly do it and succeed. Many YC founders have had young
children.

~~~
shay_ker
Which YC founders had kids when going through YC?

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aduermael
I know at least one personally. He was in W2019 batch. He has 2 young kids.
I’m sorry I don’t see anything public about his startup yet on google, I
prefer to keep it private. But he’s doing a great job while being a great dad.

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Gustomaximus
Yes. A couple years ago I started a marketing consultant and have 2 side
projects in the works.

What helps is; 1) I WFH so I am about for school run and I can work before and
after dinner easily plus school events as its a 5 min drive. 2) My partner
works shift work usually 3 days so housework is largely done by them. Plus
occasional 1 shift weeks so I schedule travel around these periods. 3) You
dont have to work 24/7\. I tend to work from 9-4 then 8-12. So I get morning
and afternoon with kids. I'll close that gap if needed but that leaves plenty
of time for kids. 4) I live on a small farm so I feel this keeps a balance as
most days I'll be out feeding animal or doing something physical. This way I
dont mind being screen heavy. Also I can do activities with the family form
the doorset like ride horses/dirt bike or do a quick bush walk etc.

I find the biggest issues; 1) is ability to take holidays. To shut shop for a
few weeks is near impossible in my current situation so I take a laptop
everywhere. I feel this is the biggest impact. 2) With consultant work it
limits time for the other business. If my partner was a better earner I might
focus on the side business full time but seems too risky. I might be more risk
friendly here without a family but not incredibly so.

A'so, a bit deep, but whats important to you? I look at the time with my
family and would prefer to earn a middle wage with that than be the world
first trillionaire without. Obviously everyone is unique here but I would
prefer to have less money and more children.

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dougbarrett
I've been freelancing on the side for over a decade, but when my first born
was around one I started really pushing it, I currently try to work between
10-15 hrs on the side when my kids are sleeping. It takes time to find a
pattern that works for you, your clients (if you have clients), and your
family.

Communication is key for this, your spouse has to be 100% on board or there is
going to be resentment on one side or another.

Unfortunately, when you have a family, any time you put towards work will take
away from your family - there is just no way around that. Even if you're with
your family, if you're on your phone then your kids and spouse will notice
that.

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ajeet_dhaliwal
If anything having a family made me realize how important it was it was to do
so with the extra expense and the desire for increased flexibility. I started
Tesults ([https://www.tesults.com](https://www.tesults.com)) after having two
children. You need a very supportive partner and weirdly having kids makes you
better at time management, you can’t mess around when you get an hour to
yourself - you’ve got to make that hour productive and have it count!

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dmitripopov
You know, healthy people are flexible and versatile, so they adapt to any
situation. In general, running any kind business and being a parent at the
same time is normal. But if you have a choice, it's better to focus on one
thing.

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aduermael
I had 2 kids recently (2yo & 3yo currently). It’s still possible to run a
startup! (I’m doing it)

The key for me was to find a great location. (countryside + 10 minutes from
school/daycare + good internet connection)

Leaving the Bay Area was the right thing to do...

~~~
shay_ker
Thanks so much for sharing!

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ecesena
We started our company last year with: 1 with gf (I think not yet engaged, but
unsure lol), 1 married no kids (me), 1 just had a baby, 1 married with 2 kids.
I bet you’re one of these :) It just works, no worries.

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Jeremy1026
I'm currently working at a place started by a husband/wife team with three
kids, two of which were born before they started the company.

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sethammons
One of SendGrid's founders had a young family when he created the company.

