
Ask HN: Are you a drinker or a teetotaler? - ducuboy
I was a daily drinker, mainly beer, I live in Belgium.<p>But I turned into a `teetotaler` for few weeks already, and I intend to stay this way for a while. I&#x27;m curious how you guys are coping with the booze or the lack of it.
======
jawns
I'm glad this question is being asked on HN, because it sounds like a culture
of drinking is pretty prevalent in at least certain parts of the startup/tech
scene. I'm hoping that the answers here will reassure people that you don't
need to drink to fit in.

I'm in my mid-30s and have never drank. I have a lot of reasons for choosing
to not drink, but probably the biggest is that I don't like the idea of it
affecting my behavior or decision-making (especially because I've seen how it
affects OTHER people's behavior and decision-making).

Nevertheless, I've tried to not let it affect my social life. In college, I
went to plenty of parties, and it was a bit weird being one of the only sober
people in a house full of drunks, but I never felt ostracized because of it.
After college, I was one of the organizers of the Four-State Bar Crawl (four
bars, four states, one crazy night) -- and naturally, I was one of the
designated drivers.

I now work in an office where beer is stocked in the fridge, and most of my
colleagues partake. But again, it doesn't really bother me because there's
soda stocked too.

Advice for people who were previously drinkers but are now trying to abstain:

* Don't needlessly place yourself in tempting situations.

* If drinking was previously how you relaxed, or had fun, or networked, or socially lubricated yourself ... seek out alternative ways to fill the void. For instance, if beer gave you confidence in social situations, consider attending a Toastmasters International session, which can help you with your contemporaneous speaking skills and boost your confidence.

* Befriend other non-drinkers. We've had a lot of practice at finding ways to have fun without alcohol.

* Seek out support (and accountability) from other people or from groups like AA if it's a real struggle.

~~~
kohanz
Your post could have described me as well.

The only thing I would add is that for me, in university, I did run into some
friction about my choice, from time to time. You'll find that when people are
young, making a choice to go against the status quo and being secure about it
will bring about all kinds of insecurity in others (e.g. those who are
drinking, but only out of peer pressure). It helped me identify who were
really my friends (the ones that didn't hassle me about my choices).

When you get older (e.g. out of school), it gets much better as being a non-
drinker becomes more acceptable and even admirable for some.

------
probably_wrong
Non-drinker here.

> I'm curious how you guys are coping with the booze or the lack of it.

The same way I'm coping with the lack of ketchup in my chocolate cookies: I
didn't know I was supposed to cope with it.

~~~
simi_
You haven't lived until you had ketchup with chocolate cookies.

On a more serious note, I too never feel the urge to drink, but I am however
addicted to sugary drinks. Makes me wonder whether there's a connection there.

------
middle334
15 years sober. So, I don't drink. Before that, hoo boy :-)

I was at a bar last night with co-workers, and as long as I have a diet coke
or something in my hand I'm okay. Weekly AA meetings keep me on the level,
too.

A old co-worker of mine who was more public about his sobriety used to crack
the keg at beer busts, reciting the Serenity Prayer over it and telling jokes
as he pour cups for everyone else. He had fun with it.

------
quaffapint
When 5 o'clock rolls around, it's beer time, or after mowing the lawn, or
after being out a long day. While I enjoy trying different craft brews, it's
almost more what it symbolizes that I enjoy. Once that beer is poured, the
work of the day is over (outside the 2nd job, being family:)).

------
uptownJimmy
For a long time I didn't much care about it: I had a single drink once a week,
maybe went out with buddies on Friday nights and got pretty drunk.

I drank a good bit during my thirties, in the way of so many 9-5 workers. Then
got a little too exuberant around the turn towards forty, probably a
combination of "Hey, so this is how it feels to feel good!" \+ self-medicating
for the lingering effects of really bad childhood trauma.

I'm dry as a bone from here on out. Once I got used to the feeling, and once I
got into the swing of studying and exercising and fathering, I've increasingly
seen the stuff as being generally more treacherous than is commonly assumed. I
don't know many people older than 30 who drink regularly and are actually
drinking in anything resembling true moderation. And it shows, increasingly as
one grows older.

So I actually feel kinda lucky to have figured it out (the semi-hard way)
instead of sinking into a life of physical indolence and endless
rationalizations. There are a LOT of people who are somewhere in the middle
chunk of the spectrum we call "alcoholism", a lot of people with really good
jobs who would be a LOT happier right now if they didn't have to obey the rule
about "never before 7". It's just the nature of the thing: it tends to make
itself more and more important as time goes by.

------
jasonkester
Depends on the situation.

When I'm travelling, I tend to drink quite a bit. You meet lots of people on
the road. Lots of them are on vacation. It's Steve's last night. We've got to
celebrate.

When I'm back home, I tend not to drink at all. First of all, it's not Steve's
last night on the beach anymore. But also it's _nice_ that it's not Steve's
last night for once. I also tend to value concentration when I'm home and
working. To have a beer is to lose the ability to focus for the rest of the
day, which just makes me angry. (Beach Jason doesn't have this problem, since
he's not focusing on anything).

Age changes the equation as well. In school, the assumption was that you'd be
obliterated every Friday and Saturday night. And likely at least once or twice
during the week as well, since hey, it's Taco Tuesday, or Bomber Night at
Alex's, or Twice As Drunk Night at Shermer's. It was just what you did.

Again, leaving school after five years of that it was quite novel to have a
Saturday arrive and be able to consciously choose not to drink anything at
all. That's never happened before! Cool.

Over the years, the novelty just wears off and the effect of alcohol becomes
perceived as more of a negative. These days, living in France, I'll still
uncork a bottle or two a week out of a sense of duty. (It is, after all, five
dollars for a better bottle than they even _sell_ at Albertsons, so it'd be
rude not to.) But then it often takes a few nights to finish that bottle. A
thought not easily conceived, I bet, by a version of myself 20 years ago.

------
chton
I'm a Belgian too, and the beer is always a temptation. Personally, I consider
myself a drinker. Not daily, but one drink a few times per week, with heavier
consumption on Saturdays.

Coping with booze for me is a matter of 'everything in moderation'. I can
thoroughly enjoy a good beer or whisky, but I know that enjoyment is enhanced
by spacing that out. I'm also quite frightened of dependence, but not enough
to stop drinking altogether.

------
facepalm
What strikes me is that I can leave beer in the fridge untouched for weeks or
even months, but I can't do the same for chocolate in the house. Stephen King
describes how sometimes he can't stand seeing people sitting in front of a
glass of wine without drinking. "Drink it already" goes through his head - I'm
somewhat the same with chocolate. Only solution is to not have chocolate in
the house.

~~~
nysska
I'm totally opposite - "Don't eat it - more for me" goes though my head.
Seriously addicted to sweets, I can't go a day without a treat, but I can go
months without alcohol.

------
jtfairbank
Depends. With friends at college I drink, this summer I was at a lake to get
away and code, and drank very little. I've smoked pot everyday for periods of
time, both productively and not, and have no problem stopping when I need to.
Nicotine is a bit harder... you definitely get the physical addition. I'm
working on kicking it though.

I've found that the busier I get, the less drugs and alcohol I consume. Or at
least my drug intake changes to stimulants like coffee and nicotine. But I
don't really feel bad about adjusting my habits as needed, there's nothing to
"miss", I'm just choosing to do something else with my time. Also, what I do
is in a large part dictated by who I am around, and what we do together
socially.

I have teetotaler friends, or friends who drink but never smoke, and I've
never had an issue with them not participating. Though these friends are
usually down to hangout if we go to a bar or something, since we'll be having
a good time anyways regardless of consumption. Do what you feel, man. :)

------
partisan
I was a non-drinker during college, but learned to enjoy drinking in social
situations after graduating. I got to the point where I was becoming an
amateur whiskey drinker, but stopped drinking when my wife got pregnant. That
lasted about 7 months and I never really got the taste back.

We drink beer now, mostly Belgian, with dinner. One beer, two or three nights
a week. I can't really stomach whiskey anymore if it's not in a mixed drink,
whereas I used to drink it neat or on the rocks on a frequent basis. That
said, a good mojito or caipirinha would make me pretty happy when I am out
with friends.

My biggest motivation for laying off the drink was that our babies needed us
and we needed to be there for them. They were helpless and being in a clear
state of mind was the obvious way to make sure we could care for them. Now
that they are a bit older (18 months), they want to play and I want to play
with them so I still don't take to drinking too much.

------
jwynia
I used to not drink, partially on the basis that my understanding was that it
is healthier. Then someone showed me the mountain of evidence for the positive
health benefits of moderate drinking:
[http://www2.potsdam.edu/alcohol/AlcoholAndHealth.html#.UlasF...](http://www2.potsdam.edu/alcohol/AlcoholAndHealth.html#.UlasFFDbOSo)

Now, I drink moderately, an option that seems left out of most conversations
about this topic. That means I never drink more than 3 "standard" drinks a
day, rarely fewer than 1. I never drink those 3 any faster than an hour
(because I'd never drink 3 glasses of anything else that fast either). At that
rate, I'm never drunk. I'm never unable to drive a vehicle. I'm never foggy-
headed or otherwise impaired. Likewise, I never have a hangover.

------
brudgers
Neither. I started drinking beers with my buddies when I was in 9th grade. By
my early twenties I started to realize that there wasn't any new ground to be
discovered via alcohol and a few years later the choice between reading and
drinking after work became more obvious and reading more often won out.

I reached a point where drinking as an activity ceased being an interesting
hobby.

When my beloved quit three years ago, pretty much any reason to drink socially
disappeared and other than a weekend in the mountains with some 9th grade
buddies and a beer at a couple of dinner parties I have abstained.

And that's pretty much the essence of it - I tend toward abstaining from
alcohol, not teetotaling. I'm fortunate that I can take that approach. Some
people have to forswear alcohol completely in order to avoid its potentially
destructive side effects.

------
pm90
I never drank until a Vegas trip a couple of months ago. I still don't stock
beer in my fridge, but when I go to bars, beergardens, I do get a glass.

Beer is really an acquired taste, but I do like its taste. I tend to drink
after a lot of beer, so I don't get drunk, I do feel a little buzz though.

As a teetotaller for my whole life, what do I feel? The main reason I stayed
away from alcohol was my fear of addiction. And that fear is still there...I
don't want to drown my sorrows with alcohol, ever. I want to be able to feel
the complete pain, get over it, and move ahead with life.

So my advice is: you have a choice. You don't need to drink a lot. But one
beer and a few shots won't make you drunk. On the contrary, it makes you
appear much more sociable. It sounds like a cop-out, sure. But each to his
own, I guess.

------
AnimalMuppet
People drink for many reasons, I suppose, but one of the common ones is to
lose some inhibitions. But looking at myself, I'm already more uninhibited
than is probably good for me. It seems like I'm where many people get after
two or three beers. So, since I seem to be permanently there, I don't really
see the need to drink. If somebody wants to have a couple of beers to join me,
that's fine.

Getting drunk is a bit different matter. Getting drunk means you're not really
in control of yourself any more, and bad things often happen thereafter.
Worse, you're not enough in control to make sure that bad things don't happen.
It's pretty unwise to put yourself in that situation.

------
glimmung
Was a cheerfully enthusiastic social drinker until I had a bit of a "long dark
teatime of the soul" (unrelated to drinking) three months or so ago, at which
point I gave up everything but coffee while I needed to focus. Am surprised to
report that I haven't missed it. Have had a drink on a couple of special
occasions since, and didn't enjoy it very much.

In the future I can see myself drinking on special occasions, but not
habitually - I really hadn't realised the extent to which I was doing it out
of habit rather than for pleasure.

As for coping, I'm now spending over an hour a day in the gym on workdays,
which is a much better deal!

------
endgame
Why is MattOhio12's post [dead]? I'm guessing it's because his early
submissions didn't go over well.

I think if dead comments are upvoted by people with accounts in good standing
and showdead on, they should be un-dead-ed.

------
jrockway
I used to drink daily.

I went out with some friends that are super-hardcore drinkers and drank too
much. Took the train home, but it was rerouted, so I grabbed a Citibike. Hit a
pothole. Went over the handlebars. Landed on my head and may have broken a
rib. Laid down on the street for a while, and remember thinking that this was
probably the end. (I realized a while later that people say they feel really
warm when they're dying, but I was really cold. Returned the Citibike and went
home.)

Anyway, I don't drink much anymore. I do brew my own beer, though! (And drink
that on an occasional basis.)

------
baldfat
Don't Drink: 1) My dad turned mean when he had a little to drink. 2) My
brother was a jerk after two beers. 3) I don't want to be a drink. 4) My
friends were idiots after they drank and got in SO MUCH trouble. 5) I know
that 10%-20% of all deaths are due primarily due to alcohol (WHO) and the
world would be a better place without it. 6) I like soda to much to ruin my
chances to drink them delicious calories with that gross stuff.

Don't ever miss drinking and when I am around drinking I am always feeling
like I made the right decision.

------
Tloewald
I drink occasionally, at most two drinks (half Vietnamese; I fall asleep if I
drink more). On average maybe one drink every two weeks. I've recently gone
low carb, so even less moving forward.

The most alcoholic work environment I've known was Andersen Consulting. We had
a well stocked open bar made available for every after hours gathering,
including training. I started drinking Scotch because I hate Scotch, no-one
seems to think less of someone who asks for Scotch, and could nurse a glass
for an evening without a problem.

------
jbrooksuk
Every now and then I'll buy a four-crate (it's hardly a crate) of Kopparberg.
Sometimes they'll last me months (one a month) or a couple of days.

I don't drink often, but when I'm out with work or some mates, I'll have a
couple. I prefer driving though - I hate being a passenger, especially when
I've had a few drinks.

Instead of drinking alcohol, I do tend to drink a lot of energy drinks. That's
my problem.

------
cpfohl
I drink, in fact I brew my own beer, wine and cider, but I've never been
drunk. My opinion has long been that it's a pity beer has alcohol, and that
it's a pity that alcohol contributes so much to a beverage's unique flavors.

Actually, I'm just a big beverage guy. I get just as psyched about a tonic and
infused simple syrup combo as I do about a great beer.

------
Wintamute
There's some evidence to suggest that drinking every day, or even drinking
well over the recommended limit, could be healthier in the long run than
abstinence.

[http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/truth-
wo...](http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/truth-wont-admit-
drinking-healthy-87891/)

------
Adirael
I like beer, don't care much about liquor or wine but won't turn it down. I
like to open a can of beer at night while I code a bit before going to bed and
sometimes I go for a beer after work. I may drink around 0.8 beers per day.

I do abuse coffee, I think I'm in need of a tolerance break

I'm in Spain.

------
circlefavshape
I think fear of dependency is overstated. I have sex with my wife almost every
day, and when she's away I miss it like hell. Regular sex makes me happier and
more emotionally stable. Could I be addicted? Should I be worried?

Just because you like something doesn't mean you're an addict

------
philh
Social drinker. I rarely get more than tipsy, even when I give myself
permission to (e.g. parties and pub crawls when I don't have to be up the next
morning). If I do get drunk, I'm unlikely to get a hangover. I almost never
drink alone.

------
swombat
@OP: see
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8339988](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8339988)
(I saw that thread before this one). Congrats on the move. It feels great, no?

------
jamesdelaneyie
Daily drinker as well. Although it varies. Sometimes I'd have a week without
taking a sip without realising and other weeks I'd get through a bottle of
wine over the course of a night after work.

------
Agathos
Since turning 30, I've noticed my hangovers have started lasting all day. Who
has time for that? I still drink fairly often, but rarely more than a drink or
two a night.

------
DanBC
Two units per day with some days drink free and not savin units up for the
weekend.

Units are a UK public health thing. units per serving is given by ABV *
serving size in litres.

------
AznHisoka
Geez, I must be living under a rock. I thought 'teetotaler' meant tea drinker,
and OP was asking whether you drank alcohol or tea.

------
pgt
I'm a daily red wine drinker. Trying to keep it at, or under half a bottle of
vino. Wine, like food, is better when shared :).

------
ducuboy
Teetotaler

------
sergiotapia
Yes, I really enjoy some iced johnny walker black on fridays after a long
productive week. :)

~~~
ducuboy
Btw, Johnny Walker was a teetotaler.

“John (Johnnie) Walker (1805 – 1857) was a Scottish grocer, who originated
what would become one of the world’s most famous whisky brand names,Johnnie
Walker, despite the fact he was himself a teetotaler”

Source:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Walker_(grocer)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Walker_\(grocer\))

------
sebst
Rarely social drinker, except when it comes to a red wine with a first class
dinner.

------
ducuboy
Drinker

------
anonymouse1
Don't drink, love me a good hit of dope (heroin) tho

------
jacquesm
teetotaler.

If you can you should do this as a poll:
[http://news.ycombinator.com/newpoll](http://news.ycombinator.com/newpoll)

~~~
ducuboy
Great, have you ever been a drinker?

Don't have enough karma to create a poll, there are the two options below as
comments

~~~
onion2k
Poll created:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8339900](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8339900)

~~~
ducuboy
Hehe, you owe me some karma ;) Just kidding, thanks for the poll, I voted for
the teetotalers, surprised how many they are.

------
nisitg
I'm a social drinker.

------
easyfree37
Huh? Burb!!

------
J_Darnley
It easy for me to avoid alcohol because every drink I have ever tried tasted
like it was full of poison.

~~~
probably_wrong
I don't drink either, but I decided to try the scientific method regarding
beer, to see if I don't drink it because I truly don't like it or because I'm
influenced by knowing the effect alcohol has on my body beforehand. So I tried
the following:

* I got myself some German non-alcoholic beer, to remove alcohol from the equation altogether. This measure is flawed, though, because apparently non-alcoholic beer sucks. In the interest of science, we'll temporarily dismiss this as an excuse from drinkers and move on.

* I went to the Guiness factory in Dublin, and ordered myself a quarter of a pint. This should be a good baseline beer.

Result 1, non-alcoholic beer: it tastes awful. I'd describe it as sparkling
tomato juice. Regular drinkers were apparently right.

Result 2, alcoholic beer: it tastes like beer. It turns out I don't like beer.

I don't know what I was hoping to get from this experiment, but there you go.
Expect a paper one of these days.

~~~
jiggy2011
Beer can be an acquired taste, Guinness especially.

~~~
vertex-four
As a beer-drinker, and lover of stouts and porters... I can't drink Guinness.
It's dreadful.

~~~
jamesdelaneyie
I'm Irish and I'm still not a fan. It tastes of boring, Irish guilt and dread.
Most of my designer friends are very partial to it, but it's more a case of
having the one Guinness and then moving onto other beers.

~~~
circlefavshape
Room-temperature bottled Guinness (the old man's pint) is _far_ nicer than
draft

