
Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work - jorymackay
https://blog.rescuetime.com/dan-schawbel-workplace-loneliness/
======
40acres
The average American spends too much time at work to not have some sort of
social, not 100% related to work, activities and groups that they can be apart
of.

As a black employee I'm very plugged in the employee resource group for black
employees at my organization. I've been able to give back to the local
community through volunteering, develop mentee and mentor relationships
through this network and develop a sense that there are folks who are not
connected to my day to day work that 'have my back', it definitely helps with
retention.

A coworker of mine is very involved with the Indian ERG, and another sings
choir with the Christian ERG on Wednesdays.

These sorts of groups get a lot of flak from folks who don't think these
groups should exist or that companies should not focus on "diversity", but at
the end of the day they provide an infrastructure that communities can build
on, and that's very important.

Even when I'm having a terrible day, walking through the hallway and having a
quick chat with someone who've I've met through these networks is extremely
valuable.

I'd recommend anyone who feels loneliness at work to take a look at what ERGs
your company may have established, not all of them are tied to a racial,
religious, or sexual identity. The maker group at my employer is pretty big
and active last I checked.

~~~
jlawson
I wish people of my color, gender, or belief were allowed to make a club, or
join yours. It sounds great. Maybe something like this is why whites commit
suicide so much more than blacks in America (per CDC [1]). Blacks suffer in
many ways but at least they're allowed to make a community just about
themselves, and that's valuable.

[1]
[https://www.realclearscience.com/journal_club/2013/04/05/us_...](https://www.realclearscience.com/journal_club/2013/04/05/us_homicide__suicide_rates_in_whites__blacks_106500.html#)!

~~~
dragonwriter
> Maybe something like this is why whites commit suicide so much more than
> blacks in America

Whites officially commit suicide more than blacks because blacks who are even
slightly inclined to self-destruction find it all to easy to get into
situations that produce death by means that won't officially be viewed as
suicide.

> Blacks suffer in many ways but at least they're allowed to make a community
> just about themselves

Whites can, and do, make communities just about themselves. Now, it's true
that the ones that aren't purely and nakedly about virulent racism usually do
it about some more specific _subset_ of Whiteness (like a particular
national/ethnic identity like Italian or Irish, etc.), probably because
Whiteness as such (in America, at least) is not a particularly strong shared
experience and identity (some other racial identities, particularly Black
identity, are, but largely as a consequence of extended subjugation by the
broader society which deliberately destroyed other identities in the group and
produced a new common shared experience.)

~~~
hpbd
>Whites officially commit suicide more than blacks because blacks who are even
slightly inclined to self-destruction find it all to easy to get into
situations that produce death by means that won't officially be viewed as
suicide.

We all know what you're implying but you're making that statistic up.

~~~
dragonwriter
> We all know what you're implying

Implying? I was being explicit, if general because I was referring to a broad
class of phenomenon. If you think I was using code for something narrowly
specific, you are mistaken.

> but you're making that statistic up.

I'm not presenting a statistic, made up or not.

~~~
hpbd
Yes, you're saying that suicide rates for blacks are lower because they are
killed by means that aren't seen as suicide at a higher rate. That's a
statistic. Please back it.

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maxxxxx
Maybe I am jaded but reading the article sounds like the usual "blablabla" to
me. In the end we should try to make work a smaller part of our lives so we
have time to have real social lives of our own.

With the current thinking of companies as profit maximizing machines
everything we do at the workplace is just window-dressing to cover up that
soullessness.

~~~
toomuchtodo
You’re not jaded, just pragmatic and well adjusted. Work is not for friends,
it is where we go to earn an income to support ourselves financially.

Maximize your income at work (while minimizing time spent working) to maximize
your happiness outside of work (hobbies, family, side project, working towards
financial independence, whatever).

I am working on starting my own business to hire family and friends; for me,
time spent with those people comes first, and the overall profitability of the
business is less important (just need to break even).

~~~
aisengard
Mixing money and family/friends sounds like it will end horribly. What happens
when you don't break even and you need to fire people?

~~~
LiterallyDoge
I would say, just brief them at the start "I might fire you tomorrow, go in
expecting that, we'll set you up something else if I do. Don't rely on this."
Kind of like the way you lend money to friends.

That said, you probably shouldn't lend money to friends.

~~~
antisthenes
Not sure why you're being downvoted. I like your approach.

If you can give some of your less fortunate friends/family a job and break
even at the same time, it sounds like a win-win for everyone. Certainly if
they are currently unemployed.

~~~
LiterallyDoge
Thanks. Exactly my thoughts.

------
dpeck
So much vitriol here. There is a middle ground. The only friends and social
interactions someone has shouldn't be related to work, as that tends to be
quite exploitive, but there shouldn't be no friendship or social interaction
at/through working either.

If you don't have a handful of people you work with who take a genuine
interest in each other both professionally and personally you're missing out
on some potentially long lasting and very meaningful relationships. It makes
the hard days a lot nicer when you have someone you can take a walk with, have
coffee or a drink after work. We're social creatures, not everything has to be
some damn transactional.

No need to be close friends with every colleague, but after a decade or so of
work I hope everyone would at least have a couple current or former coworkers
that you'd invite to a wedding, Christmas party, summer bbq, etc and be
genuinely happy to have them there.

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SolaceQuantum
This seems to be mostly an advertisement for a book and the RescueTime
product? (The term is used like its a product so I’m assuming it is one). The
list of things you should do to reduce workplace loneliness seems to be stop
engaging with technology and bring your personal life into work. There’s not
much here that links loneliness with technology use in the workplace, just
loose correlations.

~~~
mercer
RescueTime is good at what it does, but it's 100% just another product that
mostly supports the productivity-porn industry.

As far as I can tell, this article is just another SEO/branding type effort,
and written by someone who found a way to make a living selling platitudes to
those _not_ doing the thing his audience actually does.

As a 'millennial', I'm generally used to marketing mixing with life advice and
whatnot, but I'm increasingly repulsed by this type of stuff.

------
twoquestions
Getting both your money and your social relationships from one place seems
like a _horrible_ idea to me, like putting all your retirement into a single
stock.

Suddenly I'm reminded of my favorite horror story, "Doing Business in Japan",
which depicts a society where your employer is God-Emperor of your Life.
Marrying the expectation that you carve every bit of yourself off to resemble
what the Company wants, along with the knowledge that your economic and social
life can be ended by anyone above you in the org chart having a bad day, seems
like a truly horrifying combination.

[https://www.kalzumeus.com/2014/11/07/doing-business-in-
japan...](https://www.kalzumeus.com/2014/11/07/doing-business-in-japan/)

------
pacala
Wonderful. Make the inevitable layoff be that much more psychologically
damaging.

------
kradeelav
Open offices get (some deserved) flack, but I truly believe there is a happy
medium between cubicles and a warehouse space of tables - my current setup is
a room with a team of eight people spread out at L shaped desks. The people
there are honestly one of the best parts there, and it's nice for them or me
to lean around the monitors and shoot the shit a few times a day -
socialization doesn't need to be a ton of work; sometimes that's all it takes.
Sometimes walking to coffee with someone who has a mutual hobby is also all it
takes.

(Hell, I'm an introvert and I consider my dayjob to be my main socialization
outlet otherwise I'm utterly drained.)

~~~
maxxxxx
I also like team rooms for 2 to 5 people. You can have a nice talk and still
get the feeling of privacy.

~~~
LeifCarrotson
As a hardware engineer, I have what seems to be a surprisingly unique working
environment: I have both a private office where I work when I need to focus
and a lab/shop area where I work with groups of coworkers. It's ideal IMO.

If there are 3 people in the team room and 2 of them feel like chatting while
the other is 3 hours deep in a project, that can kill productivity. Or if you
get a bad roll of the dice and have a hard time working with your teammates.
Why not true private offices?

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tathougies
I do not want social interactions at work. I want to go home by 5 pm so I can
be with my wife, our friends, and attend my mens club and knights of columbus
meetings. If, in the 8 hours I am at work, I become friends with someone, then
fine, but work is for money, not friends

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davidmoffatt
"Dan Schawbel wants to save you from loneliness at work." Any time you see
self referential sentences like this at the beginning of an article hit the
back button. It is just another schmuck selling snake oil and I call
shenanigans!

If loneliness is an epidemic then show some facts. Suicide rates, are computer
programmers doing it more construction works? Other kinds of engineers? Police
and firemen? No they are not. (fact check www.learning-mind.com/suicide-rates-
professions/)

So everyone please help out. When you see crap like this article, call
shenanigans. Don't take advice from snake oil salesmen.

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erwan
The application looks awesome but there are so very little detail on the
security/privacy guarantees that it brings (or not) that I cannot imagine
using it.

------
DisruptiveDave
I look forward to the day we stop trying to change the world and instead
change ourselves (which will, of course, end up changing the world).

~~~
Jmcdd
Reminds me of Jim Rohn
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYt835Ww7xk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYt835Ww7xk)

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udpkts
Given certain relaxed constraints, one has less opportunity, like family, to
choose one's coworkers, who obviously can vary in palatability. Nothing can
fix that other than finding a different job.

------
bitwize
Don't worry. If you're lonely, the company's ObserveIT instance will notice it
based on your behavior, automatically log it in your profile, and notify HR.
Then your corporate HR department will review your case and, if necessary, put
you on a Happiness Improvement Plan to help get you on track, happy, and
productive. Note: Failure to comply with the Happiness Improvement Plan, or to
make adequate progress in happiness and/or productivity, may be grounds for
further action up to and including termination.

Have a nice day!

