
Monitoring my kids browsing activity - dnatochy
https://medium.com/@daiva.natochy/monitoring-my-kids-web-browsing-activity-4871930b06be
======
ziddoap
I'm not meaning this as an attack, you are obviously free to parent how you
feel best and that may include constant monitoring of internet activity.

But, out of genuine curiosity, how did you go about weighing the psychological
effects of your children being under constant surveillance with the want/need
to monitor their time spent on a computer? Will you adjust your monitoring as
your children age, or leave it in place regardless of age while they live
under your roof?

I haven't had to face this decision yet, and I'm not sure how I will approach
it down the line as my kid grows. I understand it is a difficult one. But one
thing I am hesitant about is the complete normalization of constant
surveillance, and the other is that my kid will (perhaps only subconsciously)
believe that I do not trust them.

My kid should know they have a right to privacy in this world, and they should
know that I trust them. But, I also don't want them exposed to the many
negatives of the internet. It's a hard -- if not impossible -- balance to
strike, and I am always interested in how parents with older kids weighed the
pros and cons of their decision.

~~~
dnatochy
I think the important part is transparency. My kids know that we can check up
on them at any time, we don't hide it. While we don't actively monitor what
they do during their free time, there is a mutual understanding that during
the school/homework time their focus needs to be on studying and not idle
browsing, playing games, or chatting with friends.

I agree with you that you don't want to create a relationship where your kids
think you don't trust them. But kids also need to understand that trust is
something you earn by being honest and responsible. I rarely check up on my
one of my kids with whom I have a high degree of trust.

I am also more worried about what they start doing on the Internet (or what
the Internet will start doing to them) once they hit their teen years like
being exposed to cyberbullying or child predators. As a parent, I need to be
able to shield them from that as much as possible or, at minimum, know when it
happens. And I think just like a lot of parents I may struggle with finding
the right balance between their privacy and their safety and well-being.

------
dnatochy
And having some fun coding in the process.

