
The Japanese men who prefer virtual girlfriends to sex - petercooper
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24614830
======
Vaskivo
I actually played Love Plus (there's a unofficial translation) for curiosity.
I'd just read the article of the guy that married one of the game's girls and
was wondering what made this game so popular. I had played some other visual
novels and dating sims before, so I knew what the game was about and how it
worked. I was looking for the small details that made the difference. (I
played this about 2 years ago, so my memory may be a bit fuzzy)

You start by creating your character and quickly meet the three girls: A small
'lolita type' tomboy; a tall serious girl, with good grades and great at
sports; and a kind of normal girl that enjoys fashion and pop songs.

You meet them at school, talk to them, go on dates and may start a relatioship
with them. The typical japanese girl stereotypes, high schools life, normal
stuff. But here's what the game did right: (I only played the courting phase
of the game. Stopped when one becamy my girlfriend)

\- While in the start I tried to be neutral and natural with the girls, there
was one that I liked more. The game noticed this and increased the rate of
encounters with that girl.

\- I don't remember any of the girls being angry at me for one of my actions
or choices. They sometimes were sad, but it wasn't a deal-breaker. In other
games is easy to mess up a relationship with the girl. Not in this one. In
fact, it is highly probable it is impossible.

\- This is a big one. The girls change according to what you want/like! You,
as a player, chose the girl according to her looks/stereotype/voice/whatever
but, by playing the game, she responds to what you do by gradually becoming
more suited to what (the game thinks) you want.

\- The game is on the Nintendo DS, so you can always carry your "girlfriend"
around. This is important for the next point.

\- When a girl actually becomes your girlfriend, the game switches to
realtime. You have to go on dates with her at a certain time, and this means
you _have to turn on the DS at that time of the day_ or she would be pissed.

When it got to the realtime phase I stopped playing. I didn't want to play a
game that demanded that from me, and I already had a (flesh and bone)
girlfriend :)

But what I learned from this is that, where in the other game you have to make
an effort to actually achieve the girl you want, in this one is the opposite.
You simply play the game and it adapts the girls to you! No effort involved.

The game is enjoyable, and the girls are well designed, different and
interesting. Give it a shot if you have the means.

------
tomflack
This occidental fascination with Japanese sex is embarrassing. Or perhaps I
just feel that these "reports" don't lend enough academic gravitas to the
subject and end up being weird, discomforting vouyeristic pieces that conflate
several different phenomena without the rigour the topic deserves.

~~~
rtpg
Most of these articles seem to largely overestimate the size of phenomena
because the journalist doesn't understand what's actually happening.

It's not like everyone in Japan is an otaku or something, they happen to be
more visible but you're just as ostracized there as if you were a super nerd
in the West. And most of them (at least the ones I talk to) aren't
disinterested in sex or having girlfriends or whatever. Just going to large
events like Comic Market and the number of otaku couples you see prove
otherwise.

The people like those in the article are basically the same as that one nerd
who, through a combination of social inpetitude and bad circumstance, ends up
being completely unwanted by any girl. In the west you'll get the same sort of
people , and they end up turning into women-hating MRAs or something. In Japan
they get a different outlet through dating sims or whatnot. Different outlets
for the same problem.

A more benign reason for people not getting married or having sex or whatever
is simply that people don't seem to have the time. In Tokyo especially, people
are beyond busy. The Japanese elite must be proud of themselves, because
they've seemed to trick an entire society into thinking that working 80 hour
work weeks, and only taking 2 weeks vacation a year, is normal. It's bizarre
and depressing. At least in my experience, Japanese want to have fun just like
other people (the fun is usually more benign but still), it's just they have
no time.

------
timje1
It's not so much virtual girls vs sex, it's virtual girlfriends vs real
girlfriends. It's the wrong comparison to be making.

I'm sure if there was a way of having virtual sex with virtual girlfriends,
that would be the choice that they make.

Speculating now - I wonder if this is related to 13 y/o western girls having
virtual relationships with 1 Direction - an idealised, safe relationship as
viewed through immature eyes?

------
lazyjones
If this is actually an accurate representation of the situation (the Otaku
seem interested in "simple", unrealistic relationships, not necessarily
uninterested in sex to me), the perspective of the female population would be
very interesting. Do they share the lack of interest in sex? Are they still
interested in it, but find the small remaining male population with similar
interests sufficient, i.e. several of them date the same guy?

It's also good to keep in mind that sex is no longer required for
reproduction, so the conclusion (dramatic population reduction until 2060) is
overly dramatic.

~~~
timje1
An early guardian article [0] suggested that both men and women have moved
away from relationships. In particular, women avoid a relationship because
that would mean giving up their career and freedom in order to produce babies
and do housework all day. It seems that Japan needs to update its expectations
of a woman's role in domestic relationships before today's independent,
educated women will desire stable relationships.

[0] [http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/oct/20/young-people-
ja...](http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/oct/20/young-people-japan-
stopped-having-sex)

~~~
XorNot
Japanese women who immigrate away from Japan are usually pretty emphatic with
the notion that they don't want to go back.

------
jupiterjaz
Why does this topic keep creeping up here? Are people really that interested
in this stuff?

~~~
theklub
I was asking myself the same question. This is probably the 3rd or 4th time in
the last couple weeks this same story/topic has popped up. I think it really
just boils down to the old saying "sex sells" which also applies to news
headlines.

------
Shish2k
> "At high school you can have relationships without having to think about
> marriage," says Yuge. "With real girlfriends you have to consider marriage.
> So I think twice about going out with a 3D woman."

> Exactly why they have retreated into fantasy land is not obvious.

Seems pretty obvious to me o_O

------
INTPenis
Correction, they don't prefer virtual girlfriends but their fear of denial is
too great to permit them to get real women as girlfriends.

~~~
JonSkeptic
I'm not so sure of that.

>Nurikan says he keeps Rinko (his virtual girlfriend) a secret from his wife,
and hopes he never has to choose between them.

It may be a fear of rejection for many, but it seems there are other
contributing factors to the phenomenon.

