

Ask HN: How to negotiate a salary with a friend? - notmacmillan

I'm in the valley and have a friend who has a so far successful startup. Due to personal reasons I've decided not to work and am thinking of returning to the craft soon and I find his startup interesting.<p>I know that I could work in his startup or other startups, as in: applying and receiving an offer is not a problem. I'm usually a pretty stern negotiator when it comes to salary...<p>How should I approach the matter with the friend? I don't want to press too hard I'll lose him, but I also want to get the offer that an hard pressed negotiation would give me. Any advice?
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chrisbennet
It's a big risk working _for_ a friend. By that, I mean working in a position
where your friend would be the one who has to let you go/fire you if something
went bad. Working _with_ friends can be great though you still have to be
careful.

Since you have other options, I would pass on working for your friend. If he
asks why you went to work for someone else, tell him the truth - that you
didn't want to risk the friendship.

There is an exception to this rule: If your friend is in real need and you're
willing to _sacrifice_ to help him out, that's different.

~~~
notmacmillan
"There is an exception to this rule: If your friend is in real need and you're
willing to sacrifice to help him out, that's different."

No more than other startups. Otherwise I wouldn't consider high-balling on
salary.

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K2h
If it is not trivial for you and your friend to determine a proper
compensation package, then I fear you may have other areas where you think the
friendship is an asset in the business but probably isn't.

choose which is more important, the friendship as it has been, or the business
opportunity. if you pursue the job, the friendship will most likely change.

personally I have avoided this in in some similar circumstances because I
think the friendship as it is is worth more than the money.

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lobotryas
>I also want to get the offer that an hard pressed negotiation would give me

He doesn't sound like much of a friend when you say that. The easiest solution
is to find employment elsewhere. When you bargain with a friend with that kind
of mindset you will either press too hard and lose him (and potentially the
offer too) or you'll end up feeling resentful at being "underpaid".

There is no magic bullet or answer to your question. Either roll the dice or
preserve the friendship by looking elsewhere.

~~~
notmacmillan
I didn't talk with him about this yet. I just think that even if he would
sincerely offer me a maximum X, an hard pressed negotiation would still give
me 1.05X (annually it's not a small amount of money...).

EDIT: as you say "with that kind of mindset you will either press too hard and
lose him (and potentially the offer too) or you'll end up feeling resentful at
being "underpaid"."

What other mindset would you suggest?

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arkitaip
Your friendship is a barrier for both of you and your friend. Find another
place where you can be an employee.

