

Ask HN: what do you do when you feel down?  - xijuan

There is a lot of talk about depression since the death of Aaron Swartz. But even if a person is not clinically depressed, he or she will still feel down once in a while. What do you do when you start to feel down? What has helped you to bring your mood up?
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gesman
Feeling down == feeling emotional discomfort of even pain within the body.
Negative thoughts fueling this pain, but I gave up trying to "think myself
out" of negative moods long time ago.

"Doing yourself out" of negative moods doesn't work either - as it just
temporarily distracting, but not resolving inner pain.

So the best solution I found is dealing with feelings and emotions directly.
The way it works as follows:

When you feeling down/negative/depressed - locate __exactly __in your body
where you feel these feelings. Usually they occupy areas of abdomen, chest and
sometimes back, neck or larger areas. Once located - start watching/observing
these areas. As masters say - shed the light of your conscious attention to
your feelings, without any attempt to change them or get rid of them. At the
same time - and it's important - start consciously breathing and follow your
breathing.

So the practice is - watch your feelings exactly where they are and following
your breathing.

This will start dissolving emotional pain directly without any thinking. This
technique helped me a lot.

~~~
xijuan
Omg, you must have learned mindfulness meditation!

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xijuan
I have written an action plan for myself to read if I get depressed or
anxious. I will share it with everyone and hope that some of you will find it
helpful.

ACTION PLAN:

First, please consider taking a three minutes breathing space. Pay attention
to your breathing and focus on your body sensation. Just pay attention.

Second, read this letter:

To the depressed self,

You worked so hard in every aspect of your life. You have always tried hard in
school, tried hard to be a good girlfriend and to be a good friend. You are
always very grateful of the support and encouragement your friends have given
you. I understand that life can be tough sometimes. You may not always be
successful in school and in your relationship. But you really have tried. That
is really all it matters. You should not always blame yourself.

Remember your high school teacher, all your friends and family, they really
don't want see you being sad like this.

Remember your high school teacher said "Guys come and go. You really don't
need to worry about it." "You are a special young lady. You are brilliant and,
more importantly, a truly kind person. I will miss you but know you will onto
great things at UBC. Don’t ever doubt that you are a capable student and a
wonderful person."

Friends said: 1) "How you feel don't count. What you do matters." 2) "Focus on
the present. Don't put too much expectations for the future." 3) "Everything
will be alright. You will be fine."

Please remember to be a kind, encouraging, understanding person. Please don't
say things that will hurt others feelings. Please tolerate others'
differences. Please look at things from other people's perspectives. Please do
not give up when you just fail once. As long as you do all those, you should
not have any regret. You are a strong person who has already overcome many
difficulties. Please don't doubt yourself and don't give up.

From the undepressed self.

Third, do a sitting/body scan (AKA MINDFULLNESS MEDITATION).

FOURTH, MOST IMPORTANTLY! IF YOU HAVE TIME, CONSIDER TO GO FOR A RUN!

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orangethirty
I stop whatever I'm doing and go out and have some fun. Fun can be anything
that re-charges my batteries for as long as it needs to be. Example: Yesterday
I was feeling tired and rundown due to the sheer amount of work I have. So I
hopped in my truck and drove to the mall. Went on a little gift shopping spree
for me and my family. Total spent: $100. I was renewed. Slept like a baby and
woke up early this morning to kick butt.

Sometimes I go fishing during the weekday (and take the laptop to work from
the pier), or work on cars. Point is I don't let myself think much about being
_down_. The more you think about it the more down you get. Just pull yourself
up, force a smile (you will eventually smile for real), and do something.

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deadfall
B12 Vitamins.

More excersise. [http://www.livestrong.com/article/323907-lack-of-exercise-
de...](http://www.livestrong.com/article/323907-lack-of-exercise-depression/)

Rent a jet-ski

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mattm
Simplify my life. In my case, it has been a result of taking on too many
things and not leaving enough down time for rest and relaxation.

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geuis
Well, over the years I've learned to recognize when I'm feeling down. Its
pretty easy to see when you've spent a little time rationally thinking about
why you feel a certain way at a particular moment. Works for other states of
mind, whether happy, angry, etc. "Why am I feeling like this right now?"

If I'm feeling down, which can lead to depression, I notice my thoughts orient
to going over events that I found embarrassing all the way back to my
childhood. They also revolve around thoughts about missed opportunities,
breakups with old girlfriends, etc.

All of this self analysis only takes a couple of minutes for me once I realize
I'm in a state of mind I don't like being in. Self recognition is the first
major and important step.

Once I've cataloged why I'm feeling down, then usually the first step is just
to take a deep breath. Extra oxygen does wonders to help clear the mind. From
there, it can vary.

I'll usually turn around what had me depressed in my head and look at it from
other angles. That girlfriend? Remember the crap she did that made me want to
part company. That embarrassing situation? Realize it was only embarrassing to
me and that no one else noticed, or think about what I did and internalize why
I shouldn't do that again. You basically want to objectively analyze the
things that are getting you down and find their silver linings.

A very practical thing that I've done numerous times is to look at
<http://cuteoverload.com>. Simply doing something that causes my brain to
release endorphins immediately is INCREDIBLY helpful.

I'm not a very active physical person, i.e. I don't exercise anywhere near as
much as I should. However, lots of you folks _are_ active and so exercise is
another great alternative. Go for a run, or just take a walk. Get yourself out
of whatever physical surroundings you're in and just go somewhere else.
Doesn't matter where. Back when I was in my early 20s and could run a couple
miles without breaking a sweat, I _loved_ the euphoria you get from physical
exercise. Too bad I don't have an addictive personality. It would have really
helped me stay in shape. =)

Hope some of this helps.

~~~
xijuan
Awww. I just took a look of the website <http://cuteoverload.com>. It does
help!

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rukshn
I bite my nails off

~~~
xijuan
Lol. When I was younger, I would also bit my nails when I felt anxious.

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alexwebmaster
Go to your local superstore, buy a jalapeno or if you are a daredevil a
habanero pepper. Give it a bit. I know, it might burn and may make you cry but
studies show that chiles help release powerful endorphins that have cured even
my most intense moments of depressions. Prozac? ha! I got something way more
effective and cheaper. :D

