
Father and Daughter Reunion - aaronjg
http://www.worth.com/index.php/component/content/article/4-live/6722-father-and-daughter-reunion
======
rayiner
I appreciate the sentiment of the article, but I hate that our culture plays
up this idea that being a good parent means being there for all the arbitrary
"milestones." I honestly don't remember if my dad was there or not on my first
day of school, etc. I sure as hell remember that he called me when I got home
from school every day to make sure I was okay and not getting into trouble.

You're not going to be able to convince corporate America that a kid's dance
recital is more important than a client meeting. All you'll do by stressing
that dance recital is make busy parents feel bad for not being able to live up
to some ideal, or discourage ambitious people from having kids because they
think they can't be good parents too. You'll get a lot further trying to push
back on ideas like "face time" or competing on who can take the least
vacation. Don't have much work? Go home at 2 and take your kid to a museum.
That's just as valuable as your being there for an arbitrary "milestone."

~~~
michaelkeenan
Right. A survey showed that parents usually expect that children want more
time with them instead of work, but that that's not usually what children
want:

"One of Galinsky's more surprising findings centered around a question she
posed to both children and parents: "If you were granted one wish to change
the way your mother's/your father's work affects your life, what would that
wish be?" Some 56 percent of parents anticipated that their children would
want more time with their parents and for their parents to spend less time at
work, yet only 10 percent of the children actually wanted more time with their
mothers and only 16 percent wanted more time with their fathers. A far larger
proportion, 34 percent, wished that their mothers would be less stressed and
less tired, and 28 percent wished this about their fathers." \-
[http://econlog.econlib.org/archives/2008/05/listen_to_the_c....](http://econlog.econlib.org/archives/2008/05/listen_to_the_c.html)

~~~
GuiA
Yes, and if you ask kids if they want candy or vegetables for dinner, what
will the majority of them answer?

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chollida1
For those that don't follow the bond markets, his former company, Pimco, would
be the Google or Microsoft of bond traders.

Tangentially, Bill Gross, the other pillar of Pimco just announced today that
he was leaving as well.

Pimco's funds are reportedly being hammered with withdraws. Estimates are that
they could loose up to 30% of their managed assets, and with almost 2 trillion
managed that's market moving news!!

See: [http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/pimco-
with...](http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/pimco-withdrawals-
could-hit-30-per-cent-as-money-managers-stunned-by-departure/article20805645/)

So if you think you are having a bad day......

Imagine you are at Google and in the span of a few months both Larry and then
Sergey unexpectedly announce they are leaving.

> Mr El-Erian used to leave home for work at 4.30am each morning

I always wondered why someone who trades in the markets would live out West
where you need to be ready at 6:30 for the market open.

I'm guessing someone has a smart ass comment lined up about how being around
for your kids should be the default, or how if they made 100 million in a year
that they'd quit too, but I think articles like this are good, in that it
reminds hard charging people to stop and look around once in a while.

~~~
morley
> Pimco would be the Google or Microsoft of bond traders

Do you mean by company size, reputation for innovation (or lack thereof), or
some other parameter?

~~~
hluska
Pimco has roughly $2 trillion in assets under management which makes them one
of the largest investment managers in the world. Time Magazine says that Pimco
Total Return was the United States' biggest fixed income fund.

sources:

[http://time.com/money/3432798/bill-gross-pimco-what-to-
do/](http://time.com/money/3432798/bill-gross-pimco-what-to-do/)

[http://www.pimco.com/EN/OurFirm/Pages/OurFirmOverview.aspx](http://www.pimco.com/EN/OurFirm/Pages/OurFirmOverview.aspx)

------
lsc
Yeah... my assumption when an executive says they are leaving to "spend more
time with my family" is still that they were asked to leave and are trying to
be graceful about it.

(I mean, I know nothing about bond markets. It could very well be sincere in
this case. I'm just saying, my immediate impression, when a top person says
they are leaving to spend more time with their family, is to extend my
sympathy at, you know, getting canned)

Maybe it is just my experience at Yahoo in the mid aughts. It seemed like
every three months, a top exec was "leaving to spend more time with my family"

I mean, being graceful about getting pushed out is a good thing for all
involved, and it seems like the leaving letters are getting more convincing
lately, which is fine, but... yeah, I'm still not buying it.

~~~
ConfuciusSay
Or conversely, he knows the bond markets are going to take a beating when
interest rates rise and wants to get out while his reputation is intact.

~~~
lsc
See what Krugman had to say about Bill Gross (this guy's boss) leaving.

[http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/09/29/nobody-could-
hav...](http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/09/29/nobody-could-have-
predicted-bill-gross-edition/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0) so... it sounds like
his boss got pushed out because he made the bet that bonds were going to take
a beating... and he was wrong.

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mfringel
It's definitely one of the better crafted "spend more time with the family"
announcements.

Barring other evidence, there's no particular reason to believe this is
different than any other executive who is being encouraged to resign from
their organization.

------
dang
Url changed from [http://www.9news.com.au/world/2014/09/25/06/42/high-
flying-c...](http://www.9news.com.au/world/2014/09/25/06/42/high-flying-ceo-
quits-after-daughter-sends-him-22-things-he-missed).

------
onaclov2000
I'll be honest, I'm not even in a demanding job and but my wife and I are both
full time employed and I have been struggling with this (our little ones are
not even school age yet). Personally handing my child over to another for
raising is and has been difficult, I'm not sure whether it's something I'll
continue to do, or if it's something I'll regret when I'm older. Time will
tell.

~~~
onaclov2000
Recently spoke with my boss, and for a few months I am going to be on a part
work from home and part work from work, it was really nice they were willing
to work this out, still don't know how I'll feel come january, but this gives
me a little more time to make that decision.

------
libria
> hopefully, as companies give more attention to the importance of work-life
> balance, more and more people will be in a better position to decide and act
> more holistically on what’s important to them.

I see no signs of the US economy rewarding life-balanced underproducers, or of
companies altruistically shouldering this moral burden. Spare time is not a
right, quality time is a luxury. Every individual chooses how much time they
are willing to trade for success/compensation. It will be difficult to
convince companies and consumers that this is their problem.

~~~
SnacksOnAPlane
This is a shortsighted view, I think. More spare time can mean more novel
inputs for your mind to process, which results in more creativity, which
results in better performance in (some) jobs. Certainly in programming jobs.

I think we'd be a more productive nation if we all took a 1-month summer
break, like they do in some European countries.

------
param
My parents didn't attend a majority of events for me, for example, I told my
mom in 12th grade (in India) - you are going to miss never ever having
attended a PTA meeting for me, and the last one is coming up, so you better
go. Then she went. I remember coming 70th in a Geography olympiad in my city
(New Delhi, current population 27M), and me going alone to receive the award.
All the way to my Convocation, Masters from IITD, which (bloody hell) even I
didn't attend - I was too busy working to fly back out - (this one I sometimes
feel bad about). Net net, my parents never attended shit BUT most importantly
I don't feel bad about it; ever.

On the other hand, my wife's dad is a busy industrialist, even he never
attended anything. Her mom did though. Her view of it is completely different.
She feels very very bad about her dad not being there, to the point that she
forces me to attend all of our kids school events, even when I think some are
not that important.

I guess it depends on your personality and how you respond to things around
you.

------
frenchman_in_ny
Walking away from it all seems fairly easy when you're making $100m+ per year
and you don't have to worry about making ends meet.

That work-life balance is sometimes a bit more of a razor's edge (depending on
industry) -- tilt a bit too much towards the "life" side and you may suddenly
find yourself with a bunch of unexpected free time to spend with family.

------
jmathai
The comments on this are pretty depressing. I'm hoping they're from folks
without kids. This has very little to do with efficiency and optimization.

This is probably an unpopular perspective but here goes anyways.

If you've got kids and you're trying to figure out what they'll remember and
not remember in order to maximize some theoretical value -- I urge you to take
a step back and look at what really matters. It's too easy to get caught up in
life. Especially in the US. And even more in Silicon Valley.

You won't ever look back and wish you spent less time with your kids. Doesn't
always matter if they remember it or not.

------
EddyTaylor
Hi Everyone,

I truly appreciate and agree with this article. If we are not giving time to
our loved ones and only lost in this corporate world, what is the sense of
making money? For whom we are working night and day? It would be selfishness
if our priority is only our work. For me, family is the most important thing
than comes your work. Read this short story and I think it will affect you
guys too.

One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business
students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will
never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered over-achievers
he said, "Okay, time for a quiz" and he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth
mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a
dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.
When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he
asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone in the class yelled, "Yes." The time
management expert replied, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out
a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces
of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. He
then asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?" By this time the class was
on to him. "Probably not," one of them answered. "Good!" he replied. He
reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping
the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks
and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?" "No!" the
class shouted. Once again he said, "Good." Then he grabbed a pitcher of water
and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked
at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?" One eager
beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your
schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in
it!" "No," the speaker replied, "that's not the point. The truth this
illustration teaches us is, "If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll
never get them in at all. What are the 'big rocks' in your life, time with
loved ones, your faith, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, teaching
or mentoring others? Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never
get them in at all. So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on
this short story, ask yourself this question, "What are the 'big rocks' in my
life?" Then, put those in your jar first. If this inspired you, share with
others so they can benefit!﻿

------
MattWard
thats awesome....so much better for it

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lotsofmangos
Reminds me a lot of Calvin's 'Dad Polls' \-
[http://calvinethobbes.free.fr/images/polls2.gif](http://calvinethobbes.free.fr/images/polls2.gif)

Is also an instructive example of why it is so hard to predict the markets.
Sometimes the markets are dependent on pissed-off ten year olds.

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jpeg_hero
I condemn this!

Opprobrium on you Mr. El-Erian.

You were one of the truly talented people in this world, and your efforts
helped bolster this shared undertaking called civilization.

And now, in an act of selfish indulgence, you've decided to turn your back on
your rare talents, and instead provide very simple child rearing ("I now
alternate with my wife in waking up our daughter every morning, preparing her
breakfast and driving her to school.") to a single one of the 73.98 million
children in the US
([http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=united+states+populatio...](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=united+states+population+under+age+18))

This is not my values, and we should not venerate this man for his selfish
choices.

