
Not a humblebrag- why I hide the fact that I went to elite schools (2014) - chatmasta
https://mommacommaphd.wordpress.com/2014/06/02/not-a-humblebrag-why-people-from-elite-schools-hide-it/
======
amvalo
Except this person DOES sound pretty snooty and self absorbed

~~~
rarrrrr
Any style or substance signal(s) in particular, i.e., lots of personal
pronouns?

~~~
amvalo
The sheer length of the post, for one.

------
matthewaveryusa
No one cares you went to Yale, they're just being polite and trying to be
engaging. If you make it weird, you're making it weird not them. E.i: If
someone asks what school you went to, tell them and ask where they went and
try to find common experiences. Not hard, just regular social skills and
psychology 101 -- the more you make someone talk about thenlm the less you're
talking about you.

I get it, I grew up in France and people always latched on to that fact when
meeting me. Frankly I found it bizarre when I moved here (who cares where you
grew up, and France isn't that exotic anyways imho.) What I realized is that
most of the time they don't want to talk about my France -- they want to talk
about their European experiences traveling/studying

~~~
mikekchar
> No one cares you went to Yale

This is not entirely true. People from Yale care (generally speaking). You
_can_ actually leverage connections with people who went to the same school
and who think that it made a difference to them.

Speaking as someone who came from an obscure school this surprised me when I
noticed it.

~~~
matthewaveryusa
absolutely -- that's the 'finding common experiences' part of social skills I
was referring to. If two people went to different schools but were both on the
fencing team you can leverage that in the same way you can leverage that you
went to the same alma mater.

------
lubujackson
What strikes me most about this article is how the author only sees these
comments as personal slights and not as the social hooks they are (probably
mostly) intended to be. It's a common way to strike up a conversation by
latching on to an interesting fact and instead of responding with humor or
grace.

Saying a "school in New England" might solve the temporary problem of
awkwardness, but it really throws away a chance to connect with people or to
stand out positively for something rightfully earned. This is a lack of deft
social skills and being uncomfortable in your own skin.

