

No One Is Self-Made – What Fatherhood Taught Me About the American Dream - MediaSquirrel
http://mattmireles.com/two-americas/

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NTDF9
This is also what I observed when I compared my life with my younger brother's
life.

While growing up, I was surrounded by a peer group of high achievers. I had a
generally stable home environment and my reading, math and writing abilities
were better than class average.

My younger brother on the other hand never had that peer group. His best
friends were bullies and destined to be jocks. He was never into reading, math
and writing. This shows in his grades.

What really helped my brother not get sucked into the usual teen bullshit is a
good home environment and constant reminder that other kids are not
necessarily doing the right thing.

Peer group and family background are pretty much the strongest indicators of
future success in life. Also, they are a great indicator of a potential mate.
I pretty much use this as a yardstick while dating these days.

~~~
eevilspock
You had me until you said, _" Also, they are a great indicator of a potential
mate. I pretty much use this as a yardstick while dating these days."_

Compare to a key point in the article: _Over the last 40 years, college-
educated, rich Americans have clustered together, enjoying all manner of
positive network effects much like the ones I just described. Americans
without college degrees are living together too, suffering from the same sort
of network effects, except in reverse: crime, drug use, low expectations and
bad schools._

So by rejecting potential mates who are not so lucky as you, and even
encouraging others to do the same, you are furthering the clustering of the
lucky and the unlucky, furthering the gap in inequality, adding to the tragic
Mathew Effect the defines our world.

~~~
BrainInAJar
> So by rejecting potential mates who are not so lucky as you, and even
> encouraging others to do the same, you are furthering the clustering of the
> lucky and the unlucky, furthering the gap in inequality, adding to the
> tragic Mathew Effect the defines our world.

You're proposing we ought to 'take one for the team' and date people who we
have nothing in common with and don't necessarily respect (in as much as their
life hasn't led them to be as high achieving as them) ?

~~~
eevilspock
No, I'm saying look beyond the "indicators" and "peer groups", and look at the
individual person.

I personally would have far more respect for someone who bucked the odds and
fought for everything she had than for someone who is "high achieving" but got
there relatively easily on a path well paved (if not paved with gold).

I also find that people who made it through a hard early life tend to be less
spoiled and selfish, to be more sympathetic to the plights of others, and to
have a greater capacity for love and trust, and to know what's really
important in life.

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gscott
Parenting is a huge job, you have to give this new person everything they need
to survive life. This is pretty much all inclusive from tutoring, personal
growth, overcoming issues, being successful in relationships, creating the
scenarios their first accomplishments come under they feel are their own but
really you set them up to be successful and gave them something that they
could really chew on successfully setting them up for their next success, and
their next success and so on.

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jklein11
The graph demonstrating the different levels in education was interesting. At
first I thought there most be some mistake, because one field was high school
education or less and the other was college education or more, but the two
lines didn't add up to 100%. I realized that the cause for this is people who
started college but did not graduate. Because the bachelors degree or greater
line stayed the same this must mean that less people have started college. I'm
not entirely convinced that this is the case.

