
This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley - jaytaylor
https://medium.com/@subes01/this-is-your-life-in-silicon-valley-933091235095
======
DeadReckoning
You guys take yourselves too seriously. I think this article is funny as hell.

"You briefly use mobile Safari to browse for Vipassana retreats — you hear a
10 day retreat in Soquel may be the ticket to shake things up. You realize
it’s not going to be possible. You download a meditation app. You turn it off.
You don’t have time."

TOO REAL

~~~
aedron
The fact that a lot of posters here don't even realize it is satire speaks
more to the point than anything.

~~~
koolba
"You skim the HN comments about life in the valley. You haven't bothered to
read the article so you do not realize it's a satire. You decide to comment
anyway."

"Six minutes of continuously refreshing the page later, you get a reply from a
throwaway account calling you out for not even skimming the article. You
contemplate deleting your comment but decide that would look even worse. You
then wonder why you don't set up a throwaway account of your own for your less
thought out comments."

~~~
powvans
"You re-open the article and confirm that the string 'HN comments' in fact
does not appear in the article you skimmed."

Meta.

~~~
mancerayder
"You are now faced with a risky decision. If you can't beat the feeling of
having been meta-duped, turn to page 4. To try your luck, and put your
reputation on the table, turn to the next page..."

------
keefe
For the last decade since I moved here, my life in silicon valley was more
like: wake up without an alarm, brew a cup of dragon well tea, walk my dog,
hit my gym for slow and steady progress, check email for crises, deal with
anything other people care about, maybe go to the office. Have some lunch,
write code until I'm tired, then maybe make an effort to socialize. As far as
coal mining goes, these are sweet digs.

~~~
throwanem
Great! I'm really glad to hear you've found a lifestyle that works well for
you. Is it possible your experience isn't representative?

~~~
hueving
Likely not, but this portrayal in the article isn't close either. It only
applies to 'hot startup' folks, which are a subset of startups, which are a
tiny subset of employees here.

~~~
throwanem
But, looking in from the outside, it's the subset which everyone not already
in it appears to desire on some level to join.

~~~
mseebach
Is it possible your experience isn't representative?

~~~
throwanem
I'd say it is very probable. But I don't think that means the satire has no
value.

------
whatever_dude
Great read, not just for people from Silicon Valley. It's good to put things
into perspective.

It also reminds me of an article [1] about John Carmack and his choice of
Dallas. To quote,

> “A lot of people, especially from California, say, ‘Texas? Why the hell are
> you in Texas?’ But I am generally happy to wave the flag and say, ‘No, I am
> not here under duress.’ I actually like it here. And we appreciate the sense
> of the Southern hospitality. You don’t get the sense that everyone needs to
> be coddled and taken care of. You get the sense of gumption.”

I have since fell in love with that word, "gumption". It's something you don't
see in companies where people are being treated as kids and catered to with
little superficial perks. But it's what get shit done.

I hope tech "visionaries" don't decide to adopt it and make it a new buzzword,
however.

[1]
[http://www.dmagazine.com/publications/d-ceo/2015/september/v...](http://www.dmagazine.com/publications/d-ceo/2015/september/virtual-
reality-of-john-carmack/), discussion:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10136565](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10136565)

~~~
kordless
> It's good to put things into perspective.

A bunch of made up bullshit, no matter how entertaining, is NOT putting things
into perspective. Oh, the irony.

~~~
eeeeeeeeeeeee
If people relate to it, yes, it would put things into perspective. Just
because something is "made up" does not mean it cannot be influential or give
someone perspective. A lot of the fiction I read is more insightful than a
history book.

------
kderbe
This article is far too on-the-nose for my taste. As an exaggerated critique
of Silicon Valley, I much rather enjoyed Anna Wiener's "Uncanny Valley".

Article: [https://nplusonemag.com/issue-25/on-the-fringe/uncanny-
valle...](https://nplusonemag.com/issue-25/on-the-fringe/uncanny-valley/)

Discussion:
[https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11565691](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11565691)

~~~
ascendingPig
Uncanny Valley used specifics to satirical and humorous effect, whereas this
post just deployed brand names every 10 words. I was really bored.

------
pyrrhotech
Reading this was an interesting anthropological experience to me as the
lifestyle is so different from my own though it seems the underlying long-term
goals are similar to mine (wealth, meaning, having smart and interesting
friends and acquaintances). I too live in SV, but in a modest home I own in
the East Bay. I too commute a little less than an hour to work, but I do my
own grocery shopping and I don't care for nice restaurants, fancy cars or the
latest gadgets. I still drive my 08 Prius.

I have a fair amount of stock options I've collected from 3 different mid-size
companies over the last half decade; all are still in business but none are
showing extremely promising outlooks, so I no longer count stock options in my
long-term financial planning though it would be a welcomed bonus to my plans.
Instead, I count the value of $5000/month left over from my decently high
salary minus my non-materialist lifestyle invested in index funds to achieve
financial independence the old fashioned way. Somewhat anti-Silicon Valley
philosophy? Perhaps, but the Bay Area is all testing diverse ideas and out of
the box approaches to life satisfaction. I don't claim my life is superior to
the theoretical in this article, but it is much simpler and probably lower
stress, and I'm pretty happy on a day to day basis so I'm not yet tempted to
dive in to the alternate approach.

~~~
kec
Most people would consider $60k/year in discretionary income a little more
than "decently high".

~~~
duzoajcgk
Of course, discretionary income and salary are not the same thing. If you are
a developer in the valley paying to live in Palo Alto, driving a BMW, etc. you
too could choose to have a lot more discretionary income.

~~~
kec
$60k is more than 88% of Americans make in total income. Having that for
discretionary spending would place you well within the top 1-2% of Americans,
regardless of how much or how little your living expenses are.

~~~
enraged_camel
Living expenses make up the majority of most people's living expenses, and
this person owns the house they live in, which means it's possible their
expenses aren't that high to begin with. They imply as much in their post. So
it's possible their salary is like $70-75k.

The median salary in the US is $52k.

In light of that, I, too, would call his salary "decently high".

~~~
jonathansizz
$52,000 is the median household income, not median salary.

~~~
mcbits
For reference, "median net compensation" appears to be just shy of $30,000 (if
it's safe to extrapolate from 2014).
[https://www.ssa.gov/oact/cola/central.html](https://www.ssa.gov/oact/cola/central.html)

------
quantumhobbit
Cut all the prices in half and replace startup stupidity with enterprises-
trying-to-act-like-startups stupidity and you have most people's lives outside
of Silicon Valley. Not to make it generational but this feels like how most
people my age live anywhere.

~~~
wavefunction
Nannys? Going to fancy restaurants hoping to see venture capitalists?

Most people your age do not by any means conduct themselves like this, nor
could they if they wanted to. Their "nanny" is their sister or mother or
mother in law or a neighbor.

They don't go to a fancy restaurant because they don't have the money for both
the fancy restaurant and a baby-sitter.

They're a two income-family forever, not until stock options vest and can be
sold on secondary markets to speculators with easy capital.

This whole scenario is ridiculous and not at all representative of anything
but a very small demographic. But I guess that's the Valley, at least to this
outsider reading articles like this.

~~~
twblalock
Let me put it this way: I have lived in Silicon Valley my entire life (and I'm
not that young), and the only person I've ever met who was raised by a nanny
was a rich kid who went to my high school. I've never met anyone who hired a
nanny, except that kid's parents. But maybe that's because I don't live in
Atherton.

~~~
pfarnsworth
And let me put it this way: Every working couple except for one that I know
with a kid has hired a nanny for at least some portion of the time, including
myself.

~~~
twblalock
A nanny is not a part-time worker. That is a babysitter. A nanny lives with
the family.

~~~
gutnor
Is it in the US ?

In the UK to be a nanny, childminder or work in a nursery you have specific
regulation and qualification required. A babysitter requires nothing, it can
and generally is some teenage kid.

The difference with all 3 is where the child go. Nursery has special dedicated
facilities to take care of several children, number limited by the number of
employee and size. A childminder will take care of 1 to 3 children in her own
home. A nanny will come to your home and take care of 1 to 3 of your children.

All 3 are available in full-time ( i.e. working hour full time ) or part-time.

The movie type, stay at home Nannies are "Au Pair". Depending on the
qualification ( from foreign student doing a bit of cleaning and getting the
kid to and from school to fully qualified nanny ) the price varies enormously.
Au Pair is not unusual, Au Pair Nannies is rich people stuff.

~~~
blowski
Again UK-specific: They only _need_ qualifications to register with OFSTED,
and as a parent, it's up to you whether you require your childcare to be
registered. If you leave your kids with a friend, for example, your friend
doesn't need any kind of qualifications. However, you can only get Government
subsidies (like child tax credits and childcare vouchers) for a registered
childcare provider.

~~~
manarth
Technically, the requirements are a little stricter: _" You must register with
Ofsted or a childminder agency if you want to be paid to look after children
under 8 for more than 2 hours a day in England"_[1]

In the example of leaving your children with a friend, the exemption is for a
maximum of 3 hours (per day), if the friend is being paid. Any longer and the
friend is obliged to register with Ofsted (with a penalty of an unlimited fine
and/or jail for not being registered).

I doubt many people would think to check the legal requirements though.

[1] [https://www.gov.uk/register-childminder-childcare-
provider/o...](https://www.gov.uk/register-childminder-childcare-
provider/overview)

~~~
blowski
Blimey - I didn't realise that, and I will continue to completely ignore it as
it's ridiculous.

------
Ezhik
Man, stuff like this makes me wonder what my life will even be like when I
graduate.

Went here because dude, Silicon Valley! Then ended up spending a year
depressed and just burning out on the whole thing because as it turns out
changing your entire life down to the language you speak doesn't really remove
the fact that you're a huge introvert and procrastinator.

~~~
brianwawok
Lot of world outside SV

------
rob
This is so sad, especially the part in the beginning about hiring a nanny to
watch their kids as they grow up. You can't get those memories and time back.

But hey, you have a WiFi coffee maker and Roomba.

~~~
nommm-nommm
What's with the current cultural obsession with spending every single moment
with ones children? How can this possibly be healthy for the children (never
mind the parents)?

~~~
exstudent2
I'm pretty sure that having both parents work and raising your child via nanny
is the current obsession and having a stay at home parent was normal human
operating behavior for ~200,000 years.

~~~
nommm-nommm
No, it's not the current obsession. The current cultural obsession is over-
parenting and massive anxiety and guilt about not "spending enough time" with
children no matter how much time is actually spent with children. The comment
I replied to is reflective of the current cultural attitude that its "so sad"
that kids get a break from their parents for 40 hours a week. Time spent on
childcare has actually increased since the 1960s[1] which reflects the
increased amount of emphasis on childrearing. There also seems to be little to
no questioning of what is healthy for children and parents, it's just seen as
"natural" and "obvious" and certainly ideal if possible.

The people with this "so _sad_... you can't get those memories back" attitude
never explain why its ok for the working parent to miss out on "memories"
while they are at work whereas its absolutely essential that the nonworking
parent gets in the maximum amount of "memories" possible. Or why its ok to
ever send a child to a public school because "memories" certainly happen
during the school day and you're going to miss out! Or why its so terrible for
children to bond to several caregivers rather than one or two?

[1]
[http://www.prb.org/Publications/Articles/2007/DoParentsSpend...](http://www.prb.org/Publications/Articles/2007/DoParentsSpendEnoughTimeWithTheirChildren.aspx)

>Time diaries indicate that married fathers spent an average 6.5 hours a week
caring for their children in 2000, a 153 percent increase since 1965. Married
mothers spent 12.9 hours, a 21 percent increase. Single mothers spent 11.8
hours, a 57 percent increase.

>These increases are powerful because the figures are for "primary care" where
the child is the main focus of attention, not for time spent with the child
while doing other things. Time-diary numbers, however, do not say whether
mothers are as accessible to their children at home during as many hours as
they were in the past.

~~~
exstudent2
> The current cultural obsession is over-parenting and massive anxiety and
> guilt about not "spending enough time" with children no matter how much time
> is actually spent with children.

More time spent with children != over-parenting. That's your own personal
opinion.

The OP also was explicitly stating that they don't have time with their child
and that they pay for a full time nanny (a situation not mentioned in your
linked report).

Dual income households have indeed increased massively since the 1960s:
[http://www.pewresearch.org/ft_dual-income-
households-1960-20...](http://www.pewresearch.org/ft_dual-income-
households-1960-2012-2/)

------
ryandamm
Meh, not written by someone who lives here: " _the_ 280"? Freeways don't get
articles around here, bub.

Clearly a plant from the LA startup scene.

~~~
danbmil99
Good catch!

Puzzler: at what latitude does 101 become "Teh 101"?

~~~
enraged_camel
The same latitude at which hipsters turn into douchebags.

Source: I lived in LA for nearly a decade.

------
maguay
The screenshot of Excel '97 running in WINE is what makes the post great.

------
dosgonlogs
Looks like he really struck a nerve based on the comments.

~~~
laxatives
Half of the comments are along the lines of, "yeah those guys, but not me, I
bought muesli instead o artisinal cheese".

~~~
dosgonlogs
I wanted to say something to that effect, but you nailed it! I hope stating
that isn't against the etiquette here.

~~~
ryanmaynard
Being nudged, even momentarily, from our delusion that none of us are all that
special, will always hit a nerve. I think these things are healthy to reflect
upon occasionally. Delusions are fine, to a point.

I really enjoyed this piece.

------
sevenless
Is it possible to diagnose an entire geographic region with narcissistic
personality disorder?

~~~
forgottenpass
Diagnose? No, probably not. Finding another label for a group of people in the
Valley you are already predispositioned to hate isn't insight. And limiting it
to a geographic region with such flimsy cultural boundaries smacks of
projection.

Want a bold stand? The (now defunct) blog The Last Psychiatrist spent years
arguing that narcissism was society wide and generations deep.

see 75% of the posts, but maybe these in particular (?)
[http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2010/11/a_generational_pathol...](http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2010/11/a_generational_pathology.html)
[http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2008/10/the_dumbest_generatio...](http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2008/10/the_dumbest_generation_is_only.html)

------
Gatsky
American Psycho with smart phones and a family.

~~~
laxatives
For awhile I've been thinking the previous generation's American Psycho
finance robot is this analagous to generation's startup/VC ecosystem.
Everyone's delusional and eccentric, some more than others.

~~~
spitfire
The kids who used to go to wall street go to San Francisco now.

Silicon Valley didn't win, they were colonized.

------
Kluny
Sounds like a horrible person living a horrible life in a way that will never
affect me in any way. I'm okay with this.

~~~
larrywright
Reading things like this makes me glad I've stayed in the Midwest.

------
pmatev
Funny that this is still super relevant for the life in London, particularly
in East London, where everyone you meet is working in or has started their own
startup. I feel like "silicon valley" mentality has spread far beyond just the
bay area these days.

------
susan_hall
I admire the fact that the author was able to add a humorous twist to almost
every paragraph. However, to get the humor they indulge in a bit of
exaggeration. That's fine, I have no problem with parody. I would find this
style revolting if the article was longer, or if this was a book, but as a
short blog post it reads fine.

I am curious if the emphasis on status symbols was meant to be so exaggerated?
The first joke was funny, but there were several on the same theme. By the
time he got home and was thinking about watching stuff on Netflix, only
because other people were talking about it... by that point, either the joke
is over-used, or if it's meant to represent "real life" then it is just sad.

------
vans
Well written. I like the tone. I think it's a particular case of a global
concern : what the purpose of life and how to live it well ? Even if i'm very
different and put my efforts in other domains than "looking smart for other
people". I'm asking myself similar questions: doubt about past choices, job,
city, and so on.

~~~
sevenless
At the point you get to 'self-actualization', you realize that it's best done
by helping others get to that point. Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a pyramid
scheme.

~~~
k-mcgrady
>> "Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a pyramid scheme."

I don't think I've ever done a '+1' style comment on HN before but couldn't
resist. I really love that idea.

------
econner
I always liked jwz's take:

> But in 1999 I took my leave of that whole sick, navel-gazing mess we called
> the software industry. Now I'm in a more honest line of work: now I sell
> beer.

------
laurentdc
livin' the rat race one latte at a time

------
pikzel
A lot of this can be applied to modern day middle class life in Stockholm,
Sweden, too for example. I guess SV is a bit more extreme, but the same things
are there: the lust for gadgets, using podcasts to find conversational topics
with your friends, sharing half-read articles, the "perfectly Instagrammed
life", and, perhaps most of all: "The reporters all share photos and videos of
the homeless person, but no one talks to him."

------
hifumi
I'm not sure how much of this is satire and how much is just jabs at the way
things are. It reads a lot like "Cracking the Coding Career" or "The Lean
Startup": a piece written for the older (35+) generation trying to understand
this modern field that generates so much money. For instance, when you're
working for a startup having kids is not an attractive option. Startup hours
are nothing like a 9 to 5 and insanely risky. Not to mention the cost of
living if you in the Silicon Valley area.

Why wouldn't the majority of your friends on Facebook share similar political
views? That's surely a factor of why you are friends in the first place. You
wouldn't share a political article to them with the intention of proving an
argument. There isn't much debate to be had with them.

Why would you not use small apps that make small things convenient? This is
brought to attention so often in the article but it's not even unique to
Silicon Valley. It's common to a whole generation.

The _constant_ use of social media also makes it painfully obvious that this
article isn't following the life of an engineer.

Most of this probably is satire, but it seems in poor taste.

~~~
quicknir
Most of my good friends, let alone Facebook friends do not share similar
views. Some people are pro legalizing drugs, some are anti, some are more
socialist whereas some are free marketeers, some are pro foreign intervention
and some are isolationist. We don't spend most of our time talking politics
and it just doesn't matter that much.

If you don't have any friends with different political views, this is an
unlikely enough occurrence via chance that it seems like it's a deliberate
choice, and that's not a choice that I have anything good to say about.

------
amyjess
Honestly, reading this reminds me of why I intend to never set foot in NorCal
and why I'm glad to live in Texas.

Edit: and, to be honest, this isn't exclusive to NorCal: this also reminds me
disturbingly of NYC culture, and I'll describe NYC as a place I like to visit
but would never, ever want to live. I have no interest in coastal urbanite
culture.

------
vonnik
This is trying to be funny, but it's not that funny. For a bunch of different
reasons. Unless you're an insider telling an inside joke, tech isn't funny,
because there's too much to explain, and explanations kill jokes. For the same
reason that Wallace Stegner said you can't right novels about Mormons (no one
would get them), you can't really write satire about tech. So the author falls
back on jokes about Roombahs. Ha! Also, tech workers are not so powerful that
they deserve satire. A better attempt at making SV amusing is the book Chaos
Monkeys. And a very good example of how to skewer an industry is American
Psycho (book, not movie).

------
sverige
I remember reading about a third of "Portnoy's Complaint" and then closing the
book and putting it aside forever when I realized that it was supposed to be
comedy and not tragedy. Same thing happened with this article.

~~~
Gatsky
I've read the whole thing, it is tragic. Even more so in the context of modern
technology's affect on sexuality.

------
rdlecler1
Sounds more like my friends doing ibanking in NY than my friends doing
startups in SF.

~~~
amyjess
Yes, part of this definitely reminded me of my cousin in NYC. Her husband is
some big shot at Goldman Sachs, and their toddlers are raised by a nanny and
being pushed into elite schools (yes, as toddlers). Their attitude towards
restaurants is basically the same, and her husband has a similar lack of time
(he works all his waking hours on the weekdays... and then crashes on the
weekend).

Oh, and the kicker: they shop for clothes for their kids exclusively on
Amazon. How do they know the clothes will fit? They don't; they order the
clothes in _every single size Amazon has available_. I don't know what they do
with the stuff that's the wrong size.

~~~
sotojuan
I went to school in NYC and I always thought it takes a special kind of person
to do finance. My friend's brother works from 9am until 7-8pm, sometimes more,
everyday. Yet my friend is determined to follow in his footsteps. I can't
imagine doing that.

------
sjg007
Yep that's the zeitgeist.

------
BilalBudhani
I got chills after reading this article. OP has gathered his thoughts
brilliantly in writing. Explaining each situation we face in our day to day
life thoughtfully. Kudos.

------
reedlaw
This was an enjoyable read. I especially appreciate the ending. At first it
had a somewhat dystopian feeling in the sense that the protagonist's tastes
align with whatever's trending at the moment. He's smug and superior. But in
the end it was the realization that he lives in a beautiful place and the awe
at seeing the sun set that brought true comfort. Nothing else in his life
really works, including the meditation app.

------
khoury
This article makes me wanna go back to working in a bar or something and just
never come in contact with computers or tech people ever again.

------
kafkaesq
_Your 27-year-old CEO wants to make every enterprise company in the world
switch to your product. He’s never worked for an enterprise company, or any
other company at all._

Eloquent synopsis a certain well-funded, highly buzzed-about "disruptive"
startup I know.

------
Allamaprabhu
Perhaps its same back in silicon valley of india too.Life here comes with
reduced perks from unlivable traffic to substandard infrastructures.But the
story is same everywhere across the industry I believe given greatest
advantage is being close to your loved ones.

------
mms1973
It reminded me of "Chaos Monkeys" that I read recently.

~~~
turnip1979
Would u recommend it?

~~~
whatever_dude
The book is frequently mentioned in HN comments. In general, it is well
recommended even if not overwhelmingly.

[https://hn.algolia.com/?query=chaos%20monkeys&sort=byPopular...](https://hn.algolia.com/?query=chaos%20monkeys&sort=byPopularity&prefix&page=0&dateRange=pastMonth&type=comment)

------
traviswingo
This article is amazing. What a great way to start the day.

------
alecco
How timely. I just started reading Disrupted.

------
guard-of-terra
Sounds like a character straight from
[http://wumo.com/wumo](http://wumo.com/wumo) webcomics

Which I could not recommend enough, I'm having wumo flashbacks all the time
just as with obligatory XKCD.

------
imperialdrive
bravo - tickling read!

------
cylinder
Hmm. Okay.

~~~
intopieces
My reaction exactly. I read through the entire article (inexplicably) and I
can't tell what it's trying to "say." What am I supposed to feel after reading
this exposition?

~~~
Kalium
I think it's supposed to be a satirical think-piece? The author is linked to
The Bold Italic, the king of local pretension.

Something something something unexamined privilege, I rather suspect. It'd be
funnier if the author wasn't trying to make some kind of political point
muddled by half-baked humor.

~~~
intopieces
>unexamined privilege

Silicon Valley is famous for its navel-gazing. There's even a hit television
show devoted to it. The privilege is well and rightfully examined. That's why,
I think, this satire falls flat -- it doesn't say anything that isn't
painfully obvious to anyone who has even a casual familiarity with the local
culture, and even worse, it doesn't say the painfully obvious in any new way.

It doesn't 'bite' like the onion does, where it comes too close to reality for
comfort. It's not zany and off-beat like a Mad Magazine bit. It's just... not
that good.

------
zubat
Only if you want it that way.

------
kevinkimball
none of this resonates with me at all

------
trappedintime
Imagine the author had first tried psilocybin, then no one would've gotten
cancer from reading that borderline sociopathic, materialist screed.

~~~
hudibras
It's satire, bro. Chill out.

------
maxaf
You enjoy writing about yourself in a detached second-person style, but with a
dull sadness you realize that it's pretentious and does little to mask your
inner emptiness. A solution in search of a problem, like many other things in
your life, the way you write brings out the worst tendencies in you, and does
little to actually improve the way you live.

...

No, seriously, stop that. Narrate in the first or second person; those are
easier to relate to rather than the not-so-abstract "you". Invent a
protagonist for your story if it doesn't already have one. Character building
seems to be quickly fading into obscurity as a lost art of sorts, and _you_
can help revive it.

