
Ask HN: Is 24 too late to start life? - neo_begin
I feel like i have failed in life.I have dropped out of college,have no job,no money,no friends except one guy, and 4 months back i had a nasty breakup with my girlfriend of 8 years.Now i am on the verge of being thrown out of my parent&#x27;s home.I have absolutely zero skills in anything except a little bit of coding.I turned 24 last month and am feeling that its too late and that all doors are closed to me.I have absolutely no reason to live my life.I feel like a total loser.
     However in some  corner of mind,i have a feeling that i can rebuild my life if i put in the required efforts.But in my present state of  mind,i am not able to believe it.
      What you people think i should do in this stage of my life?Is it possible for me to really come out of this and progress in my life?I am really in need of advice.Please guide me.
======
coldtea
First of all, forget the "success is taking in a huge salary". In fact, forget
the whole BS "winners and losers" american mindset which is not the case in
most other parts of the world.

None of your "failures" are that much of a failure or even unique to you.

Dropped out of college? Millions of Americans never even been there.

No job, no money? That can be fixed.

No friends except one guy? How many real friends do you think most people
have? You can always meet some new people anyway.

24 and still living at home? Not too uncommon either. In fact in some places
in Europe you could be 30 and still living at home, or even worse, 40 and
coming BACK to live at home because of the crisis.

First get a job and some apartment. It doesn't have to be your dream job, but
should be easy enough to do so you can hone your coding skills further and try
to get a coding job. Even McDonalds are nothing to be shamed for.

Oh, and millions of people rebooted their lives after much worse situations,
from wars that left them with no family, friends, money AND country, to
accidents that cost them their job and life savings to medical bills, to
prison...

~~~
askafriend
How can you be successful if you don't make a couple million?

~~~
seekingcharlie
Some people define success as something entirely exclusive of your bank
account.

~~~
askafriend
That seems so counterintuitive. I've always thought life was a game and there
was a very very clear score kept as your bank account statement.

The more money you have, the more successful you are.

~~~
Rainymood
Here, you dropped your "/s"

------
gcheong
A coupe ideas for jobs:

1\. Work for a gardener/landscaper. I did this for a summer after I had
dropped out of college. I worked for the landscaper that took care of my
parents house. He was always complaining how hard it was to find good
employees and sure enough the only other guy he hired while I was there didn't
last more than a month. Fast forward 30 years to today and the landscaper that
works on the houses where I live still complains about how hard it is to find
good employees.

2\. Cannery or commercial fishing work in Alaska. I did this several summers
during college (this was back when programming internships, or really any
internships, were not as common today). You can work long, hard, hours in peak
season but, since you won't be doing anything else, during a good season you
can earn a fair amount of cash just by the sheer number of overtime hours
worked. If the season is bad then you might not get much work and that is a
risk. Besides that, you will certainly meet some interesting people and Alaska
is quite beautiful.

You have many avenues these days where you can learn and prove your skills in
a variety of fields, not just programming but ever more so if you go that
route, but you do have to follow through. When I was your age college was
about the only option and I was overall a C student, graduated with a second
BS at age 28, but still managed to find jobs and do fairly well.

------
Broken_Hippo
I've been around where you are. Around the same age, though my circumstances
were different - My spouse had a suicide attempt, new bipolar/schizo affective
diagnosis, nearly lost all income and had to move back to my parents place. It
took some time for me to work out of it and wound up leaving him, but I am
ever so happy that I did so. Life isn't perfect now, but much more happy. It
isn't too late to start or change life. First things first, take care of your
housing. It'll be an uncomfortable talk with your parents. Admit things,
regardless of embarassment, and either tell them your plans or admit to your
own confusion. This will take some of your worries away. Second, money. Any
job will do. Try to do well at it, and find bits you like with it. The reality
is that you might not be able to support yourself, by yourself - As in,
countless people and their families are in the same situation. It is an
unfortunate new reality, and easier on the mind if you view your situation as
more normal than not. I oddly wound up with a retail job at a pharmacy and
thrived: I'm currently taking language classes (I'm now an immigrant) that
have a focus on health care terms so that when I re-job, I'll like it better.
Third, give yourself a break. You are still reeling from the breakup, plus the
life situations. Friends - I've always struggled to have friends. I tend to
have very few, but I get my social needs met between that, any
job/school/volunteering and the internet. Get active somehwere, anywhere - to
get your mind off things.

------
guiambros
Lots of good advice on this question for Quora [1]: " _I am in my late 20s and
feel I have wasted a lot of time. Is it too late for me to achieve something
worthwhile?_ ".

Tl;dr: no, it's definitely not late. But doing nothing about it won't help.
The secret is to _start_.

[1] [https://www.quora.com/I-am-in-my-late-20s-and-feel-I-have-
wa...](https://www.quora.com/I-am-in-my-late-20s-and-feel-I-have-wasted-a-lot-
of-time-Is-it-too-late-for-me-to-achieve-something-worthwhile)

------
hanniabu
Pick your headay up. There's lots of great advice here. And if worse comes to
worst, if you're in America you can always join the airforce. The threat of
danger is less than compared to other branches, you get to see different parts
of the world as you change bases, get additional schooling/food/board for
free, and you'll be getting paid all the while and get to put almost all of it
towards savings since you'll have minimal expenses. Not saying this is the
best option or a great option, but it is an option. I have never served, but I
have a few friends that say it's the best experience.

------
staunch
You're smart, healthy, and 24 years old? There are a lot of older "successful
people" that would trade everything they have to be you.

Motivation is based on momentum. You're at a standstill now, so you'll have to
build up that momentum. Start off with small challenges (sleep, exercise,
diet, or whatever) and then take on your big goals once you've got some speed.

You may also find Steve Jobs' speech helpful, as a reminder that even people
like him were just as confused at times.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc)

------
karmajunkie
look, on a productivity level, everyone else is right: you're barely past the
beginning of your life. I went through an almost total reset of my life for a
couple of years after the first dotcom implosion, and I can tell you that its
absolutely likely that you'll come out of it just fine. I've dropped out of
college (twice!), gone through a list of terrible relationships, shitty jobs,
great jobs, less great jobs, better relationships, had a kid, gotten divorced,
and now getting married again and on top of my career (and have been for
awhile).

But that's not really what you have to worry about right now. What's most
clear to me looking at your post is that your language indicates a very deep
depression, and until that's under some semblance of control or treatment
you're likely to continue feeling helpless in your life. I hate it when people
try to diagnose each other on HN, so I don't want to go further down that
line, other than to say you really need to find a doctor or counselor who can
help you in a concrete way. The rest of us here are just going to be making
recommendations in a vacuum. Only someone you're actually connected with in
the physical world can effectively help you get through this. But the takeaway
from the rest of us is that a lot of us have been through similar and come out
ok and even great.

I hope things get better for you.

------
stewbrew
Your life expectancy is about 80 so, unless you waste your health, you can
expect to be around for a few more years. Even if you come to the conclusion
that you wasted 5-10 years, that's only a tiny fraction. Learn from your
failures, grow, get better at living a life worth living.

------
cafard
1\. 24 is not too late. I didn't get much done in my 20s. 2\. With all due
respect to the girlfriend of 8 years, you are probably better off breaking up
now. Marrying the high school sweetheart has a low probability of success. 3\.
Get a job. I would suggest starting to take classes at a community college to
see what interests you. 4\. Make sure that you get exercise and sunlight. 5\.
If you have the time, volunteer. Cook or serve at a soup kitchen, tutor, it
hardly matters. You will be doing something useful for people who are worse
off.

------
am27
Hello my brother .. I am 27 , trust meee I know what you are talking ... I
dont have any saving , no friends expect one .. I have only two things left in
life .. to build something because of which people know me and earning enough
money to gift my mom any fucking thing on the planet whenever I want .. I
knowwww how you are feeling trust me ! ... If you want to get together and
build some thing together I am ready ! .. but you yourself will have to find a
MOTIVE ! .. for which you will fight .. no amount of consoling session here on
HN will help

~~~
neo_begin
How can i get in touch with you?

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tylercubell
The only thing holding you back is you. Your life isn't going to change unless
you're motivated externally (fear, anxiety) or internally (hope). Which one is
better? Figure out what you're good at and double down on it. Excise the
negative influences in your life. Get out of your comfort zone, you won't grow
doing the same old things. Focus on the future, don't dwell on the past.

------
tedmiston
1\. Please stay safe.

2\. Please call your close friend and get his/her advice.

3\. Yes, of course, you can emerge from this and progress in life. We all feel
unaccomplished in our 20s, but relative to the rest of our careers... we are.

4\. The fact that you have some coding skill is vastly more than the average
person and with a few side projects to show off, it's enough to get a dev job.

5\. Build and ship those 1-2 side projects. Shipping builds confidence. And
teaches you the unexpected parts.

------
cmarschner
You could see it in a different light: being that you don't have family to
support, no mortgage to pay, given that you're healthy and young you are in a
situation that many people would die to get into: you have full and complete
liberty. If I were you I would take a year and travel the world. Take local
jobs to finance it. This will give you new connections and new perspectives.
And no, you're not too old.

------
uptownfunk
In the eastern way there are two paths, the positive and the negative. In the
positive you know what you want and strive towards it. In the negative you
just do something and keep moving forward until you realize it or realize that
it is not what you wanted by which time you have a few other options to
pursue. Keep your ears open to reality and stay vigilant for reality to
Present you with your path.

------
apryldelancey
You're ONLY 24. I went back to college at 26, got a BS and an MS and have
changed paths many times. Get that "no reason to live" nonsense out of your
head and get it together. You have many, many years ahead of you. Like others
have said, doors are shut only to those that give up. I agree - get a job and
practice coding and build up your portfolio.

------
Raed667
I have had students in engineering with me that were older than you right now.

Some went into medicine, some worked in shops, but all decided to change their
lives at around your age. And it works!

I'm not saying engineering is the only way, I'm saying go talk to people and
do interviews and see what college degree will give the skill set and job that
you could see yourself doing.

------
etuil
Calm down and put yourself together, find a Minimum Viable Job bettertake
something that you are in contact with people.. Like a waiter barista or
something it would not be a lot of money bit you will meet people... I your
spare time pravtice coding until u sharpen enough to find a internship. Doors
are shut only for those who give up

------
hvd
go read [http://www.amazon.com/How-Fail-Almost-Everything-
Still/dp/15...](http://www.amazon.com/How-Fail-Almost-Everything-
Still/dp/1591847745/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1451275622&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+fail+at+almost+everything+and+still+win+big)

This is a book written by Scott Adams of Dilbert fame, he has failed at more
things than you can imagine. You are unique, divine. So hang in there. Start
off with eating right and exercise to get increase your energy. Then follow
your curiosity. You will be surprised what you are capable of. Take a course
on Coursera, it could be anything. Then build upon that to propel forward.

------
andersthue
It's never too late to do something to improve your life!

6 years ago I stopped as partner in an company that had worn me out to the
point where I only was able to work a few hours every day.

Now 6 years later I have 3 employees and is building a exciting new startup.

Nothing is impossible, it just takes time and effort.

------
pupeno
It's never to late and definitely not at 24hs. Read some biographies, yes,
some people were rich by 19th, but some struggled for years and years not
finding their success or happiness until the 40s, 50s, etc.

Do you like coding?

~~~
neo_begin
Yes i like coding

~~~
3minus1
If you like and want to pursue programming you need a plan. Your plan should
be first achieve competency and then demonstrate it to potential employers.

To achieve competency take some classes--free online, community college,
whatever--the basic programming classes are all the same. If you have a solid
grasp on fundamentals (loops, functions, arrays), in other words if you can
look at a program and trace what it's doing, then you can add value in a
company (trust me I've worked with people that somehow don't know how to read
code).

Actually getting hired requires demonstrating your competency. This can be
frustrating without professional experience, but if you are competent you just
need to stick with it and you will eventually get your foot in the door. This
might require answering some algorithm questions, like sorting. Awareness of
SDLC. A portfolio of some sample project. There is a high a demand for anyone
that can code. Your first company can suck (mine did) and pay you below
market, but professional experience with be incredibly useful for your skills
and for your hireability,

It's not easy, but if you enjoy it I think you can do it.

~~~
pupeno
This was going to be my follow up. To demonstrate competency, you can
participate in open source projects. I even got job offers out of my
participation.

There are also bootcamp schools that will get you up and running quickly, some
even that are free while you are there and they only charge you a percentage
of your first year of salary after you finish.

------
zhte415
You have time and reason. That's all anything needs. Judgement of others is
not important. Measure yourself by what you can do better each day.

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r2dnb
I'd like to learn more about your skills and your background. First time I
realize HN does not have a private messaging feature.

~~~
neo_begin
you can mail me at budgow@gmail.com

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anaip1
At the very least, eat healthy, exercise regularly, and sleep well. Hard to
break out of a rut without it.

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uptownfunk
Been there. You can do this, keep a minimal overhead and lifestyle and only do
a few things at once. Focus.

------
neo_begin
Any recommendation of books/courses that may be helpful to me?

~~~
r2dnb
"The Midas Touch", by Donald Trump.

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venusiant
yes

~~~
venusiant
I mean, no, it's not too late, yes, you can start you life :)

