
I Did What I Loved and Nearly Destroyed Myself - barce
http://www.codebelay.com/blog/2011/07/10/i-did-what-i-loved-and-nearly-destroyed-myself/
======
Mz
_I would honestly love to spend my days having sex, drinking coffee, reading,
writing and more sex – with travel and several residences on the Mediterranean
coast of Spain and Costa Rica (Pacific side), thrown in.

I lived in such a way for nearly two years without the residences but with
travel to London and Rome. The sad, sad truth of it is that there is no money
at the end of it, and I ended up very much in debt and almost bankrupt._

Um, when people say 'do what you love', they typically mean 'do WORK that you
love', not _do any old freaking thing you please, without regard for how to
pay the bills_.

Maybe I missed something in the article?

~~~
hzay
I used to wonder about this. There are skills that require hard work and
brains. Some people seem to find themselves "in their element" when they are
mastering or using these skills (Roger Federer, for example). Some of those
skills pay, and some don't. It seems to me like what you love in your life is
largely driven by chance, and if your passion happens to be something that
will not pay your bills, you are just unlucky, and will be left to do stuff
you do not love as much.

It sounds like this is obvious, but I've heard "be whatever you want to be but
be the best" a lot, and it used to sound like an obviously good idea.

Maybe those who _are_ lucky enough find that doing what they love brings
happiness and money, and think they have found the answer to umm.. everything?

~~~
sliverstorm
The way you present it, everyone has one thing they enjoy and it's a crap
shoot whether it's marketable.

I do not agree with this viewpoint. I have so many things that I enjoy
doing... I find it very difficult to believe people are born with the capacity
to enjoy only one thing.

Those who find themselves out of work because they chose to pursue a tenuous
line of work are in that position because they chose, for whatever reason, to
pursue that particular work- not because it's the only thing in the world they
can enjoy.

Lastly, on the subject of luck, I subscribe to an old adage; "Luck favors the
prepared".

~~~
prodigal_erik
I have incidental stuff I also enjoy now and then, but only one calling, and I
consider myself lucky that it's writing code (and that the market value of my
work has increased so much in twenty years) rather than something like
[http://www.geek.com/articles/geek-
cetera/100000-toothpicks-u...](http://www.geek.com/articles/geek-
cetera/100000-toothpicks-used-to-depict-san-francisco-20110427/). Some people
have a deep-seated need to do things society hardly values at all, and
terrible advice like "follow your bliss and money will take care of itself"
would only compound their tragedy. I think the key is to find the smallest gap
between what you need to do and what our civilization wants from you, because
that gap will be the measure of your dissatisfaction.

------
bguthrie
The ability to pursue your dreams is a luxury of the modern age. Generations
of people have lived and died working as poor farmers, doing what they needed
to to support their families. (Many hundreds of millions of poor people still
live their lives doing so.) "Do what you love" is overrated advice: "find a
way to love what you do" is better.

~~~
Udo
> The ability to pursue your dreams is a luxury of the modern age.

Yes it is, to a degree, like many things that are important to us today. But I
fail to see how that supposedly devalues the concept. How is the agrarian age
now considered the blueprint for what a good life supposedly looks like? I for
one very much prefer the here and now.

~~~
dgreensp
And more to the point, "do what you love" can save you from squandering that
very luxury.

I think many of us were handed down an old ethic of sacrificing your dreams to
pay the bills that may or may not apply to our own lives.

------
muhfuhkuh
There's plenty of people throughout history who can do exactly what they want
and make money doing so. They have talent or are extremely lucky. Likely both,
though.

Sometimes you are just genetically gifted, like Jon "Bones" Jones who just
started fighting in mixed martial arts professionally two years ago and is now
the light heavyweight champion at 23. Or, singers like Adele or Amy Winehouse:
exceedingly young singers with booming, soulful voices that surpass Gospel
soloists who have practiced for their entire lives. Or, writers like Michael
Chabon who can win Pulitzer prizes by their third novel and can write
decidedly literary works that go on to become worldwide bestsellers.

If you don't have any latent talent, you can't do whatever you want
effortlessly.

So, the first thing is, "be talented". Since most of us aren't, we have to dig
a little deeper and suffer a little more. So, we can't go and have sex with
strangers all day and then boozily toss off a flawless chapter of the Great
American Novel or whip up that Instagr.am killer overnight.

Most of us aren't Michael Jordan; we're Horace Grant, or John Paxson. We can't
_be_ the team, but we can be part of the greatness. Only you can realize your
strengths and limitations. But don't be fooled: If you don't have the talent,
it takes alot of hustle to do _exactly_ what you love.

~~~
fmavituna
The thing is though we don't what many of those people actually wanted, we
assume. We assume since they are so good at that, they got to be loving it,
but maybe Amy Winehouse would love to be a science fiction author yet she has
no talent and picked the easy way out, we just don't know.

I don't want to pick on your particular example but Michael Jordan is known to
be insanely practising. He didn't even made to high school ball team the first
time around, he practiced that year and got in the next one. Granted he's
talented but there's massive amount hard-work behind it. He clearly loved it
otherwise presumably he wouldn't spend years on practising.

So following your dreams is not about having talent about something, that
talent might not be related with what you love. It's about what your dream is
(world domination?) and having background + talent + possibility + luck +
determination and so many other stuff like that.

You can't always have what you want but you can get closer.

------
SeoxyS
I think he's missing the point. "Do what you love" does not mean "do whatever
the fuck pleases you, not caring about consequences and reality."

Rather, it means: Find a career and lifestyle that is intellectually and
emotionally fulfilling and make the best of it.

~~~
mburney
It is just not the case that there is a sustainable career out there for every
kind of passion. Non-academic philosophy doesn't pay, coding pays.

~~~
hvs
Academic philosophy barely pays as well.

~~~
olefoo
Being an academic can pay, though not necessarily well. Being a philosopher
however, is widely considered an affliction that prevents one from achieving
much in the way of success in academia. Questions regarding eternal verities
and what you are really saying when you say 'this' are distractions from the
true business of the modern academic; ensuring that the most prestigious
publishing is yours and that any perishing happening near your department is
happening to someone else.

------
freddealmeida
I have a degree in philosophy. I spent my undergraduate learning complex rules
of logic, heuristics, semiotics, and language. It fit directly into being a
better programmer and a better entrepreneur.

The ability to read dry treatises on moral or political theory is a good
indicator that one is capable of dealing with the more complex aspects of
development. (though I tended to ignore iterative structures initially
thinking through the code far too much)

In reading the op's account, I think he did not really love philosophy. He is
a sophist. He loves exactly the idea of his idea of being a philosopher.

Some great people in business are philosophers (training in philosophy). One
example is Soros. So clearly, it is not philosophy that is keeping him down.

But true philosophers have a love of ideas, not particularly a better life.
The idea of a screwed up life but a vivid intellectual one is clearly the
norm. Though, true philosophers and poets do tend to be rich (showing that
once needs are met, one has time to turn to richer thoughts).

~~~
vonSeckendorff
_Though, true philosophers and poets do tend to be rich (showing that once
needs are met, one has time to turn to richer thoughts)._

That sounds a lot like there are no true Scotsman. Or perhaps it is better
interpreted to mean only the truly wealthy can be true philosophers and poets.
That may be the case...

------
liljimmytables
When I was a young kid, I remember that we used to ask each other "what's your
favourite color?" a lot. At the time, this question used to panic me. I mean,
red's pretty neat, but then so's blue. Yellow's nice, and so on. It's only
with the benefit of hindsight that one sees that it's an artificially narrow
question. A child would make that mistake, but not an adult, right?

Well, that's how I see the "do what you love," argument manifesting here. The
things that define your true passions aren't going to be the dreams that you
dreamed as a child, or as a teenager. You are always developing as an
individual, and the things that you love are capable of redefining themselves.
One thing that I hear time and time again is that "X" is fun until you have to
do it for a living; that's not doing what you love, that's clinging to a bad
mistake. You can do what you love by finding something you enjoy and by
applying love, there's no mystical "true love" of careers that is imposed from
on high.

Hmm, what I just wrote was properly glib, wasn't it?

~~~
corin_
I agree with your points, but ironically they're not the case for me.

I do have a favourite colour, bright magenta (I do worry that it's
stereotypical of me, being gay, but I certainly never made a concious choice,
and I'm not someone who makes my sexuality obvious to people, so... hopeflly a
coincidence).

As to the thing you love.. well actually there's quite a few, right now I
really love my job. but the thing I always wanted to do was music, from a
young age. From 9-13 I actually was a professional singer in a very good choir
(professional meaning being paid well, a couple of recordings a year, many
international concerts), and despite having been there and done that, it's
still what I would really love to do for the rest of my life. Love doesn't
always have an expiry date.

------
redthrowaway
"How many coders do you know _love_ philosophy?"

I'm sure there's _tons_ of us. The author and myself, for two. pg's original
degree was in philosophy. I don't know how much coding Neal Stephenson does,
but being the author of both _Cryptonomicon_ and _Anathem_ suggests he has at
least a deep interest in both. William Gibson seems to have similar interests.

There has to be more. I view philosophy and programming as such closely-linked
fields, both resting upon the construction of mental schemas that are
logically consistent. Back me up, here.

~~~
mburney
Agreed. I am a coder and philosophy was my first love.

------
xsmasher
I view "do what you love" / "find your bliss" from the other side. Given
programmers A and B, of equal ability, where A _loves_ programming and B is
just in it for the paycheck, I expect A to be more successful. Not for magical
karmic reasons, but because they'll put more in more study, more effort, and
more hours toward the magic 10k.

Love isn't all though; it's possible to really enjoy coding but be a terrible
programmer. Love won't fix that.

~~~
Entaroadun
Why would someone enjoy coding if he/she were terrible at it? Do you have a
specific example in mind?

~~~
xsmasher
Yes, I'm thinking of some mad-scientist types I've met who spin out WTF-worthy
code on a daily basis. They love computers and programming, and can get
workable output eventually, but it's terrible code.

------
fleitz
Destroyed yourself? It sounds like you got in debt, that's hardly a life
threatening condition.

~~~
ryandvm
Good point. And my guess is he's a hell of a lot wiser for it.

------
Duff
"Do what you love, but be responsible" might be more reasonable for this guy.

I'm sure that hanging out on the beach and devoting your days to sex, reading
and other entertaining things is appealing to many, but unless you're a trust
fund baby, it's unlikely to work out. And even then, you'll get sick of it.

------
rimmjob
This is a pretty terrible argument for a guy whose main passion in life is
philosophy.

~~~
nandemo
Indeed. If you're into philosophy I figure you'd first define better what "do
what you love" is supposed to mean before writing anything else.

------
gillygize
Also, I think that implicit in this kind of reasoning is the sense that "what
I love" is a static thing that isn't going to change a lot over time. It may
be the case that, like the author, I love philosophy at the moment, but maybe
in two or three years, my interests will have moved on to something else.
Feelings can be fleeting things. By the time you are in a position to do what
you love, you might love something else.

But, at the same time, I tend to think we are in a little bit more in control
of what we love than is sometimes supposed. Even if I don't love what I am
doing right now, I think it is possible to think about it differently, to
recontextualize it, to find ways to convince myself that it is important /
significant/ etc. Feeling can be like a game that you play with yourself, but
you can influence yourself with thoughts like "I don't have to feel this way
about X".

My point is, I think it is better to find a viable work/lifestyle and learn to
love it than to let your feelings determine how you live. My opinion, anyway.
This probably won't work for everyone.

------
alecbenzer
"How many coders do you know _love_ philosophy?"

several... I don't think that's as uncommon as the author thinks

------
captain_mars
IMHO, both sides of the argument are valid. Both Money and Passion are
important.

Hugh MacLeod has a great perspective on this:

 _THE SEX & CASH THEORY: "The creative person basically has two kinds of jobs:
One is the sexy, creative kind. Second is the kind that pays the bills.
Sometimes the task in hand covers both bases, but not often. This tense
duality will always play center stage. It will never be transcended."

A good example is Phil, a NY photographer friend of mine. He does really wild
stuff for the indie magazines- it pays nothing, but it allows him to build his
portfolio. Then he’ll go off and shoot some catalogues for a while. Nothing
too exciting, but it pays the bills._

Source: <http://gapingvoid.com/ie>

------
rluhar
I get confused when I come across things like "Do what you love."

I believe that there is always a degree of serependity when it comes to
discovering what you love doing. You enjoy doing something, you do it more -
eventually you "love" it.

I was not a fan of my job (I am a developer) at first. But it paid the bills
and it presented an intellectual challenge. I worked at it, became familiar
with tools and patterns of the profession, and now I "love" it.

So did doing something that I did not love destroy me (when I was first
staring out). No. Does doing something that I love (my job now) destroy me?
No. Clearly if you do something that is not sustainable given your means, you
will be in trouble. I do not see how "loving" the thing in question comes into
play.

EDIT: spelling

------
F_J_H
_Destroyed_ yourself? Sounds like you recovered. Plus:

“Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and
over again in the quiestest chambers. The mind can never break off from the
journey.” – Pat Conroy

------
yzhengyu
My degree is in Computer Science. I fell in love with philosophy - political,
spiritual and economics - when I was in my final year. My grades took a hit
because I was convinced that I was in the wrong major. It took the quiet words
of my thesis advisor to point out that I loved philosophy because my CS major
had trained and opened my mind to become fertile ground.

At the end, he told me to focus on the road, not the destination and focus on
taking steps rather than running ahead blindly. It was the best advice I have
ever received.

------
csomar
Well. I think the author got it wrong. He made me suspicious, so I checked the
article he pointed to

 _A mission. I wanted to work on something I loved so much that I would do it
even if I wasn’t getting paid. I had already spent countless hours in my spare
time doing front-end development with Ruby on Rails for free, so opportunities
to do that with people I liked and a product I loved would fit this
requirement._

What the Author means, is that if you can do X for $200/hour, but you prefer
doing Y for $40/hour, then do Y.

~~~
gbeeson
That is what I took away from the article as well.

------
malkia
I spent my last few years in Common Lisp, and although I learned a lot, it
strayed me a bit from the more boring coding, boring as in real world one.
Unfortunately I'm not that smart to apply that learned knowledge with the
language anywhere I want (nor do I have the character to persuade people to
use it).

I'm trying to become more and more agnostic when comes to languages,
platforms, anything - it's probably not healthy either (losing focus), but my
daily job keeps my focus (tools game development).

------
pnathan
I am a pragmatist; people ought to take jobs that pay their bills, take majors
that will let them pay their bills.

If what you love doesn't pay the bills: sorry bub, pay yer bills.

------
paramaggarwal
People misunderstand the whole 'do what you love' philosophy. They think that
you just go about doing whatever seems interesting. The truth is that you have
to 'do'. If you like philosophy, then write a book, talk about it, give a
theory. 'Do something about it'.

------
andreyon
So from the post "doing what you love" was sex and getting in debt. No wonder
you nearly "destroyed" yourself.

Follow your bliss as a human being. If you have a calling in being a great
scientist, fine, otherwise you can still follow your bliss in the most boring
(apparently) job in the world.

Joseph Campbell kicks ass. You need to center your shit together and mature.

------
ddemchuk
I'm a coder, entrepreneur, and huge philosophy fan. I think many people
similar to me (IE people here) also love philosophy as well all enjoy
thinking, logic, and problem solving, the epitome of philosophy.

~~~
nostrademons
There're quite a few of us. One of my coworkers was a philosophy major in
college, I flirted with doing a philosophy major but couldn't quite make the
course schedule work out, and I think PG was a philosophy major.

