
How to be interesting (2006) - gscott
http://russelldavies.typepad.com/planning/2006/11/how_to_be_inter.html
======
todsul
Personally, I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile. All
of these 'tips' are just novelties. Even if you dedicate your entire life to
appearing interesting, you'll just end up with party tricks, not real
substance.

I quickly learned in my profession that there are two types of people: 1)
those who create the perception that they matter, and 2) those that actually
matter.

This list is designed to create a perception. How about just doing something
you love, do it with passion, achieve success, and go from there?

~~~
spodek
"I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile."

If you are suggesting a difference between "appearing" and "actually" being
interesting, I think you miss what interesting means. Interestingness is not
some abstract or physical quantity. It's a perception.

If someone perceives you as interesting you _are_ interesting. To them, at
least. Someone who sits alone brooding over what they consider interesting
topics is _not_ interesting -- except to people who are interested in brooding
loners.

Your distinction between appearing to matter and mattering sounds like the
difference between getting a job or project done or not. Producing results is
orthogonal. Might as well get the job done and be interesting.

I've always produced, but I've only recently learned to be interesting. Being
interesting and making connections is great. Life is much better when people
like taking an interest in you.

Anyway, I wrote a series on communication skills exercises that help people
communicate and make connections -- <http://joshuaspodek.com/communication-
skills-exercises-6>. They work great.

~~~
lhnz
You are right that the word "interesting" is a perception but I think what the
parent post was suggesting was that: there is the definite possibility that on
doing what the author of the article suggests you appear 'interesting' for
some people, but to others you appear as somebody inauthentically 'trying to
appear interesting'.

I agree with the parent post. Although I'd consider this kind of person
relatively interesting, I'd mentally put them on a lower level for doing
'interesting things' with a lack of passion.

------
wallflower
Do you really want to connect with someone? Or do you just want to "try" to
connect with someone?

You might not like this - there are no tricks, really. It's about putting
yourself out there..

Guys talking about football is just a proxy for talking about feelings. Talk
about how you feel about something, facts are boring...

Emotions are what make people interesting. Even the most logical people are,
at the core, irrational beings.

The core of our brain that makes decisions has no capacity to understand
language.

I'm only human. The most interesting people to me are the people who are
sincerely interested in me. Usually, that is reciprocal. Conversation isn't a
Q&A; it's not a give and take. It's a sharing of your lives. You're not going
to hit if off with everyone. But if you use inane social lubricants like 'Nice
weather, huh?' you are practically guaranteeing a Tivo'd rote, robotic
conversation

The more you "put yourself out there", the better your intentions, the better
your connections (see below)

> It takes relationships to make relationships. And, in general, to make
> relationships, you have to allow vulnerability. Vulnerability is the
> difference between a conversation that starts, "How about this weather we're
> having?" and a conversation that starts, "Oh my God, let me tell you about
> how I just fell in a puddle in front of a group of nuns."

The former is so boring that it makes listeners want to crawl under a table;
the latter creates a spark and a list of follow-up questions. These are two
extreme examples, but generally, the more of yourself you put out there, the
more others will have to connect with.

Excerpt from a Nerve article on 'am I doomed?'

[http://www.nerve.com/advice/miss-information/miss-
informatio...](http://www.nerve.com/advice/miss-information/miss-
information-209)

------
gwern
I ran across this recent good advice:

> "Richard Feynman was fond of giving the following advice on how to be a
> genius. You have to keep a dozen of your favorite problems constantly
> present in your mind, although by and large they will lay in a dormant
> state. Every time you hear or read a new trick or a new result, test it
> against each of your twelve problems to see whether it helps. Every once in
> a while there will be a hit, and people will say: <i>'How did he do it? He
> must be a genius!'</i>"

"Ten Lessons I wish I had been Taught", Gian-Carlo Rota
[http://alumni.media.mit.edu/~cahn/life/gian-carlo-
rota-10-le...](http://alumni.media.mit.edu/~cahn/life/gian-carlo-
rota-10-lessons.html#feynmann)

------
bravura
The article doesn't actually draw any connection between business success and
being "interesting". This is just taken for granted by the author, but not
supported.

The article's advice isn't so much about how to be "interesting", as it is
about how to "repeatedly put yourself out there in a public way".

Being able to fail publicly is a useful business skill, mind you. There was an
interview on HN a while back, can't find it know, where a super-rich fellow
explains that willingness to fail publicly was the key factor in him
outperforming more skilled competitors. But this is distinct from being
interesting.

~~~
stdbrouw
Maybe it doesn't draw that connection because not everything in this world is
about business success? You're probably right that the author believes that
"being interesting" is a marketable quality yet doesn't really explain why
that would be, but I really like this piece much more as a guide to personal
development. You know, to help us be a nice and fun and interesting human
beings.

~~~
bravura
The author immediately frames the exercise as part of business training.
That's why I drew the connection between "interestingness" to business
success.

------
msutherl
Come up with 10 ideas per week for a month. Next month come up with 20 ideas
per week. The following month come up with 30. Continue until it becomes
impractical.

As a wise professor once told me, 'creativity is a skill and you improve it by
practicing'.

~~~
ISloop
A friend did something similar. For every programming puzzle he solved, he
would try to find 5 alternative solutions.

------
mbrock
I think it's good to be interested kind of across the spectrum, both in
abstract ideas and very concrete stuff. Some people never take the bird's eye
view, but it can be a very powerful source of inspiration; some people stay
there all the time, which isn't very fun.

My random idea is to keep two books on your nightstand, one being something
like for example an introduction to Hegel's phenomenology of spirit, and the
other being something like a biography, novel, or history book.

I've always found that thinking is most fun when you get these little sparks
between the abstract and the concrete. "Oh, the way this saxophonist is
tracing out different lines but always returning to the zero state of the
modal backing chord makes me think of Deleuze & Guattari — I wonder if you can
think about the 'body without organs' of a jazz tune?" (This is also a good
way of being a bit pretentious about all sorts of stuff...)

------
zachrose
Don't miss the backstory:

"And it soon becomes apparent that this issue goes a lot broader. Their course
is designed to churn out mini-art directors, mini-account people, mini-
planners for a world that increasingly just wants creative generalists."

[http://russelldavies.typepad.com/planning/2006/11/building_c...](http://russelldavies.typepad.com/planning/2006/11/building_creati.html)

I was an art student at UO at the time, briefly participating in the
journalism department's advertising club that brought Russell Davies to visit.
So far, generalism is working out.

------
kghose
Perhaps the title should be "How to be more interested" because that is what
the tips are for. And in general, more interested people are more interesting.

------
groth
I think if you don't believe yourself to be interesting you've got deeper
problems to address before you start following this article.

If you truly believe that you are a boring person that nobody wants to talk
to, you probably have a self esteem problem. Low self esteem is something
people are naturally attune to. Talk like a loser ,and people will assume you
are a loser. (the converse is not necessarily better however...)

------
shr3kst3r
I think something different can be taken from the article -- how to be
inspired.

------
Mz
Okay, let's suppose one manages to be "interesting". How does one translate
that to a fatter bank account?

I liked the article but I'm wondering if anyone knows of resources (or has
opinions) that address the next step.

~~~
twelvechairs
A fatter bank account its not 'a next step' from "interesting". Its almost
entirely separate....

Making money from real creativity is usually pretty hard - those that are
creative tend to break the barriers whilst others make the money....

~~~
Mz
Thanks for replying.

It's the next step I would personally like to take. I've been told repeatedly
that I'm "interesting". I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what to
do with that (other than get into hot water). I feel I've made some progress
in the right direction but I am still working out pieces of it in my head and
looking for resources to help me put the final pieces in places.

~~~
gscott
Being interesting lets you show off your other good qualities. Like being
reliable or able to build interesting things. If you build something small
that people use and like, by being interesting I feel you could land funding
to build something bigger.

------
wccrawford
I think a couple pieces are missing from this advice:

1) Don't open your mouth unless you have something to say.

2) Don't repeat yourself.

3) Don't talk down to people.

It's impossible to be interesting if you are boring people.

------
jasonfranks
I find people most interesting when their jobs involve observing the state of
the world and then drawing big conclusions.. Bankers etc.

------
absconditus
This advice is great if one wishes to become a dilettante.

------
funkah
I largely agree with this, but reading it made me realize that I'd rather be
interested than interesting. I love soaking up interesting developments in
tech and the world at large, I love reading and stimulating my brain. But I
don't really care if I stimulate anyone else's. I suppose that is selfish.

------
ninjoah
fuck everything about this article

~~~
ISloop
That catchphrase is stupid. This isn't reddit.

