

Ask HN: A 2nd Year SF Technologist's Philosophical Dilemma - coldinthebay

Hey folks,<p>I'm at a personal development milestone. Something's not working.<p>I've been in the Bay Area going on my second year now and I'm wondering how common it is to come out here and eventually get turned off by the whole scene, in general.<p>Back in the beginning, I grew up as a huge nerd in the Southeast - it was always my thing. I could hide away in my bedroom and hack, as the world around me held down mostly non-technical lifestyles. When I emerged, I had a product of my own creation, mostly untainted by the scene's societal norms, that everyone around me thought was really 'neat', since they had no idea how it worked or, for the few technical people I knew, were interested in learning about it and/or were happy to teach me more. In my off time, I could resume doing non-technical things and 'blend in' and, when I was ready to again, retire to my bedroom and begin being a hacker again.<p>My Bay Area experience has, overall, proven to be a mostly disenchanting departure from this.<p>Everyone here is into tech.
There is no way 'hiding away and making an iPhone app' is your unique thing.
The instant you show your work to anyone else, you almost certainly encounter one or more of:<p>-a pissing contest<p>-criticism of implementation details or features, language choice, etc<p>-comparison to someone/something else far more prolific and a subsequent lack of being impressed<p>-or, if you've found a non-technical person to demo to, a lack of interest simply because it's not a world-changing tech like Facebook or Twitter, which is down the street<p>Don't get me wrong. I'm not making crap, here, nor am I a new kid on the block. I've worked at Google, Apple, and Microsoft and am currently one of two engineers at a small company you may well have seen in TechCrunch a few times.<p>But is it normal to be so dejected by this area that you're turned off to lots of things, entirely? And is that necessarily a bad thing or an implicit professional/personal failure, of sorts?<p>I can appreciate the fact the Bay Area is fast-paced, meritocratic, high stress, all of that. Those are good things!<p>But, operating in the Bay Area is quickly draining the love of the game from me. In fact, I often find myself considering moving somewhere slightly-but-not-mostly technical, like Austin or Charlotte (hey, I have a thing for the South, too).<p>Anyone else experience this roadblock? Any tips or suggestions? I'm young and an open book and you'll have my eternal gratitude.
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olegious
Sounds like you don't like the fact that you don't stand out in the Bay Area
like you used to stand out back home. Back home you were "the tech guy" and
here you're "just another tech guy"- it seems to be a case of lost identity.

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jcr
As someone in his forties who was born here and has lived all of his life
here, I have an answer for you, but of course, it's just the opinion of one
person.

There is wonderful terminal an email client called 'mutt' with an interesting
motto, "All email clients suck, but mutt sucks less." This, of course is an
adaptation and adoption of a very old programming adage, "All software sucks,
but some software sucks less." Some consider it a pessimistic saying, and
others consider it a realistic saying. If you prefer a more positive
restatement, "All software can be improved, but some software needs less
improvement," might be a fair corollary.

Amongst technical people, specifically programmers, the above should show you
the underlying reason for the criticism; their first thought is how to improve
things. The look for the rough spots in implementation, presentation, and of
course, usefulness. Sadly, many are willing to enter a debate of opinion
rather than do a fair analysis with real data for supporting evidence.

In quick paced communication, remembering to also be positive when looking for
ways to improve something is often forgotten. You can see it all the time on
HN and other text based communication mediums, but it also happens verbally in
person. One poorly phrased statement, and the discussion escalates.

If you prefer to look at this positively, consider the criticisms to be bug
reports. Sure, bug reports are "bad news" but it is far better to know about a
problem than to not know about it.

Your latter two points are identical; both are due to others not being
impressed, or more succinctly, not being supportive or excited. When people
are inundated with new tech every day as well as inundated with marketing and
advertising about new tech, people learn to ignore it. You probably ignore
banner advertisements, and probably ignore the text advertisements on the
right side of your Google results. The more of it you see, the more you learn
to ignore it. The people in the Bay Area have seen far more than most, and as
a result, they can and do ignore more than most.

The more annoyed you become by needing to ignore stuff, the closer you get to
wanting to block it completely. If you have the technical acumen to block it,
you do block it, and hence the rise of AdBlockPlus, Readability, InstaPaper,
ReadItLater, FlipBoard, and countless related bits of software and
configuration. Even TiVo is just a different aspect of the same issue of
fighting inundation. Spam filter? --Yep, same thing. The things to realize are
the trends; more people being annoyed, more people learning to ignore,
blocking tech becoming easier to use, more people embracing blocking tech, ...

You want my attention... --just like everybody else.

If you think about social networks like Facebook on a fundamental level, you
can see them for what they really are; an attempt to grab attention. You
create an inflated caricature of yourself with the hope of attracting
"friends" of some sort; everyone there is trying to grab your attention.
Twitter? --Yep, same thing. On top of the real people trying to grab your
attention, there are also companies operating on these supposedly "social"
platforms trying to grab your attention through paid placements and
gamification.

Come on and face the facts; you've probably ignored an invitation when your
cousin invited you to the birthday party of her three year old kid. You also
probably ignored the shared images, wall posts, tweets or whatever else that
resulted from said three year old's birthday party.

A response of not impressed and not interested is to be expected. You have
been conditioned to ignore things, and so has everyone else to one degree or
another. The people in the Bay Area are just a bit more conditioned than
people in other places.

You might run away to Austin or Charlotte, but doing so is simply buying time.
It's really just a matter of time until people there are conditioned by the
same forces that have conditioned most of the people around here. The
interesting question is whether or not impressing people in a non-technical
populace is better? Since the bar for impressive is much higher here, you may
benefit more by receiving feedback from more discerning and experienced (and
critical) people.

Preventing annoyance and avoiding apathy may be difficult, but it is not
impossible. The humongous secret to being fascinating is simply being
fascinated. If you are fascinated, others will find you fascinating.
Similarly, if you are excited by your work, others will also find it exciting,
and if you are impressed by your work, others will also find it impressive.

The toughest truth to accept is, it's a decision. You've decided to be turned
off, and hence, you turn off others. You've decided not to be impressed, and
hence, others are not impressed. You've decided not to be fascinated, and
hence, others don't consider you fascinating.

You can change your decisions.

I know it might sting a bit since it stung for me when I learned it and it
took me some time to accept it. It's not easy, but it is good for you in the
long run. I realize you're posting anon with a throw-away account, but my
email address is in my profile if you want to contact me.

