
Ask HN: What one thing would you tell your younger self? - thomasfrank09
Hi guys, just came across this crowdsourced social experiment Twitter account: @AYoungerMe<p>There were some really cool Tweets of lessons people would tell their younger selves. However I thought the HN crowd is so smart that I’d like to hear what all of you would tell your younger self, if you had the opportunity.
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hooande
If I could talk to my younger self I would say: "All of the things that you
care about are completely meaningless. The school assignments, girls, money
for the weekend...none of it matters, not even a little bit. Gather knowledge
on how to make things that help people. Start now and never stop."

This question leads to another...why don't people tell these things to their
kids?

"You don't have to wait to grow up to do great things. Do something now."

"Embrace the mistakes. They eventually pay off."

"What makes you "different" makes you AMAZING!"

Parents NEVER say these things. Parents say "do your homework", "practice the
piano", "be nice to your sister". If, god forbid, I ever have a child I will
have a very difficult time resisting the urge to tell him or her what life is
really about. If I knew then what I know now... how could I keep that same
valuable knowledge from someone I care about?

~~~
BadassFractal
This is very relevant to me. As someone who's doing the SV startup thing full
time, spending all of my waking hours on learning / doing stuff / meeting
people, am I seriously not going to regret taking a dump on my 20s in 10 or 20
years? Am I not going to regret missing out on youth, girls, fun and so on, if
I spend all of these years working on achieving my dreams?

~~~
LOLtampicoLOL
Make a commitment to balance. I partied very hard in my teens and 20s and
regret nothing. Some of my friends worked on professional degrees and are now
late 20s early 30s trying to recover what they can of their youth. Another set
of friends still pour their energy into partying but worry about money. For
energetic people, the most important thing is balance. Work effectively, party
hard, don't listen to too many people, be brave and don't make their concerns
yours.

------
mindcrime
Assuming you mean some general life advice sort of thing, and not something
like "The Giants beat the Patriots in the SuperBowl, bet on the G-men" or
something, then I'd say:

"Don't overvalue the whole 'good things come to people who wait' thing. Be
_really_ f%!#ng aggressive in going after what you want, life is short, don't
wait around."

or something to that effect.

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bradleyland
I wouldn't tell myself anything. My life is far from perfect, but I wouldn't
exchange it for some unknown life as a result of receiving some cryptic advice
from future-me. I know that sounds like a cop out, but I honestly feel that
way. I value the mistakes I've made as much as I do the triumphs. I don't
think you can "advise" away mistakes in a way that provides the same value.

------
stephengillie
This won't apply to anyone else.

 _Ignore almost everything anyone else tells you unless you can independently
verify it, especially your parents. In fact, just divorce your parents now.
The correct answers always come from within your own head. Your first impulse
is always wrong, but doing the wrong thing almost always turns out well.
You're almost always the smartest person in the room, and everyone knows it,
so calling yourself "stupid" is calling everyone in the room stupid, even when
true. Confidence is key. Talk more slowly. You can't be anyone other than who
you are, but you can be the best "you" that can be. Nutrition is entirely
applied physics (calories consumed - exertion = weight), so count calories.
Yes, you'll live to see 85, and yes, life gets better at 30._

------
diminium
"The adults in your world are lying to you. Yes, I said lying. LYING. The
reason why they say what they say is to make their lives easier, not yours.
They don't care for you as much as you think they do. They don't even care for
each other as much as they say they do. They are lying. Even if it seems true,
they aren't. They are just very good at lying to you and themselves.

The world is big, huge, and interesting. Don't think its as small as the
adults want you to think it is. Don't even think its as small as your friends
of the same age say it is. They are are just repeating other 'cooler' adults
are saying. 'Cooler' adults are still adults. Chances are they too will end up
being just like the adults who are lying to you right now. Stop thinking about
them, go out there & explore!! See what's really out there.

And if you feel like giving up after exploring, don't. Stop staring at the
ground, look up, open your eyes, and see the wonderful scenery your in. Will
it be painful to try to look up? Of course! However, if you can overcome that
pain and actually look up, you will see a marvelous sight that few other
humans can see. A sight that is worth all the pain and troubles you will face
in reaching it. Only then can you see the truth that exists in this world.
Only then can you truly start your life as well.... you'll see :)

P.S. If it's not painful to try and look up, stop pretending your exploring!!
Go out there and explore for real!"

~~~
jacknews
Oh dear, you're not a parent are you. The reason adults lie is because we want
our kids to experience the life we dream of, not necessarily the one we have.
Or at least, the best bits of what we have, without the pitfalls that we know
are there, drugs, debt, etc. We understand some of the things we did and do
wrong, and what we do right, and we want to give them the tools to avoid
making stupid mistakes and focus on things that will bring them success.
Sometimes that means being the boogeyman in order to force them to study or
whatever, sometimes makes us appear naive by painting an idyll. But we do it
for our kids, not for ourselves. You'll understand that when you have kids.
But, your advice to "question everything" and "explore" is absolutely right. I
would temper it with "some things just have to be done, and done the hard way.
Grit your teeth, get it done, feel good about getting it done, and move to the
next thing".

~~~
diminium
Wow, in this case, I stand by my statement 'The world is big, huge, and
interesting. Don't think its as small as the adults want you to think it is'
even more strongly now.

"pitfalls that we know are there, drugs, debt....study or whatever"

Congratulations! Out of the infinite amount of things in the world that are
good and the infinite amount of things in the world that are bad, this parent
just taught the kid to worry ONLY about drugs, debt, and homework.

If there's one thing about children I can say without a doubt is that they are
the ultimate copy machines. The thing they are completely focused on
desperately trying to copy? Their parent.

So in reality, the best possible way for a parent to teach their children
their dreams they want is to personally live those dreams. However, for 97% of
people in this world, this so hard that they don't want to do it. Thus they
choose the easier alternative - lying. This, ironically, then teaches the kid
this technique as well since kids, well, copy them.

------
IsaacL
It's like the guy said in "The Graduate" when asked for career advice: just
one word, "plastics".

For my younger self, the word I'd use would be "smartphones".

------
jmduke
Read what a Skinner Box is. Realize that playing Runescape (I know, I know) is
disturbingly Pavlovian.

Compile your first program earlier, because from there the slopes keep getting
better, and the peaks have nicer views.

------
sinak
Grades and external validation (from school, parents, friends) don't matter
that that much. Concentrate on doing what you enjoy and learning what you are
passionate about.

------
majorlazer
I am 21 now, but I would tell my 18 year old self to spend less time reading
reddit/digg and start building more stuff.

And also, finish your projects and focus!

~~~
Ralith
Your future self asked me to tell you to spend less time reading HN and start
building more stuff.

And also, finish your projects and focus!

~~~
majorlazer
Hah! I knew someone would post this. And that's very true, I should spend less
time on HN. That's why I have it blocked in my hosts file on my PC. So I can
only access it from my phone :)

------
jamesbritt
Most, by far, of the stuff you think matters really doesn't.

Acquire the habit of _finishing_ stuff, dammit.

Finally, not only is life short, it's shorter than you think.

------
jtbigwoo
To my sixteen-year-old self: You're not a jock even though you've got a letter
jacket. Be who you are rather than who you look like.

To my eighteen-year-old self: That girl that sits on your lap sometimes before
class? She probably likes you. That one that always finds a way to stand next
to you? She probably likes you, too. Maybe think about asking one of them out.

To my twenty-two-year-old self: Experience matters. Pay attention to what the
successful forty-year-olds in the office do rather than spending all your time
with the other recent grads. Watch how the partners handle clients.

------
rblion
You don't need to be a billionaire or a boddhisattva, just live a simple life
and be of service to others. A man is paid in proportion to the value he
creates for society. The best way to help humanity's precarious situation is
working on yourself first and doing work that inspires others to do the same.
No lasting change can happen unless it starts within, no lasting happiness is
possible unless it starts within. Fulfillment comes from within, not from
external things.

Sex, drugs and rock n' roll is all fun until you realize the emptiness
inherent in all of it. Freedom, love, truth, and peace are more than just
flowery overused words; they are all that matter in the end. Make these values
the pillars of your life and all else will fall into place.

Never stop asking questions. Never. Challenge every institution and learn
where you really stand, not where others would like for you stand. Shine your
unique brilliance unto this world and take no ownership over what you
accomplish, everything is a group effort.

Help out around the house a lot more, you are not a king.

------
lelele
Social skills are the most important skills. Strive to improve them. A well-
connected likable person goes farther than a skilled one.

------
toshimitzu
Great Idea!

"Don't be afraid of being different - What seems now like a curse will be your
biggest gift in some years"

------
sgt101
There is no more joy in this world than that which is found in the eyes of
your child.

------
retube
It's not just about how hard you work, it's about the decisions you make.

Also - don't be impatient.

------
japhyr
My parents encouraged me to be active and do interesting things, but every
time I really started to get into something they seemed to get scared of me
really committing to anything. It's like they were scared that if I tried
really hard at something and failed, I would feel bad.

I would tell myself to go all in on whatever I was interested in, no matter
how young I was. I would tell my parents to let me go hard at whatever I was
interested in.

------
centdev
"The cake is a lie."

I'm not quite sure I would want to tell my younger self anything that may
inevitably change the outcome of the future. We all knows what happens when
people travel back in time, the future gets all screwed up. But if there was
one thing, perhaps to not look for validation in what you're doing from other
people who don't do what you do.

------
sftueni
I would watch and draw inspiration from Steve Job's 'Vision of the world':
<http://youtu.be/UvEiSa6_EPA>

'Everything around you that you call life, was made up by people that were no
smarter than you. And you can change it. You can influence it. You can build
your own thing that other people can use'

~~~
sftueni
and 'What would you do if you weren't afraid'

------
tgrass
Be quiet. Listen more. Your dad is not a jerk.

------
TwiztidK
(Some of these are specific)

\- Stop wasting time watching TV.

\- Instead of taking BS classes in highschool, go to a CC and get some college
credit so you don't have to kill yourself taking 18 credit semesters just to
graduate in 4 years with two majors.

\- Stop procrastinating. There are things you'll have to do and doing it
sooner is almost always better than later.

------
twfarland
You don't have to impress anyone. You don't have to 'be' anyone. Be a Cynic, a
Hedonist in the Epicurean sense.

------
philco
Be weirder.

------
marksuckerberg
Avoid all business dealings with ____ and ____. It will spare you from
foreclosure, personal bankruptcy and the destruction of your family.

If you don't mind "taking one for the team", consider bringing a taser and a
tree chipper to that meeting you're about to go into. Be sure ____ goes in
feet first.

Thanks!

Your future self.

------
orangethirty
Nothing. I would not say a thing, because I would not understand. The reason
most adults don't give out advice to younger people is that they lack the
experience, scars, and wisdom to understand it. Plus, the person I am today is
the result of the person I was back then.

------
dholowiski
Don't live near where you are born just because you feel like you should. Do
your research and move to a city that fits you. It doesn't matter how far away
it is. Don't stay somewhere just because you feel tied to that place.

I wish I had realized that 15 years ago.

~~~
mksteele
Thank you for saying this! from a soon-to-be recent grad deciding where to
move after college

~~~
dholowiski
Get the book "Who's your city". Don't just move somewhere because that's where
you find a job. Spend a good amount of time and effort on finding the right
city for you (the book explains why this is important). I so wish I had done
this long ago - I've lived for 15 years in cities/towns where there is very
little to no tech community, and it has been soul-crushing. My next move is a
well thought out, planned and researched move - basically so i can be with
more people like me.

------
unimpressive
"You're consistently wrong and stupid. The Internet is forever, if what you're
saying feels wrong or stupid, it probably is. Mistakes always seem worse in
retrospect."

Among other things that I don't feel comfortable saying in a public forum.

------
the_researcher
Be excellent. Worry about yourself. If people don't like you, it's not about
you, it's about them. Just focus on being the best you can be and you will be
successful, happy, and have a ton of friends. Just be excellent.

------
michaelcampbell
"Don't waste time on stupid shit."

I'm 46 now, and there are so many things I wanted to do with my life that I
don't think I can start now. Some I have tried anyway; banjo, bass guitar; but
some I think are going to be forever gone.

------
riffraff
Learn more of/from the people you love, they won't be around forever. Get out
of broken relationships of any kind sooner. Do more social sports. Make a bit
more of whatever, rather than learning more about it.

------
yotsuba
Things don't need to have a huge scope to be good, do smaller projects and
make them good. Flash isn't so bad, just use whatever is easiest to develop
in. It'll make you happy, comp sci isn't for you :)

------
impendia
It is good to fail at things.

When you fail, smile, because you realize that you pushed your boundaries, you
grew, and you learned something. And then either try again or try something
else.

------
lukethomas
Learning is NOT dependent on school. I am in charge of my education.

Take the initiative and recognize that the stuff worth learning takes tons of
work, so stick with it and don't give up!

------
ajdecon
"Every moment you spent with your family and friends has made you happier.
Only some of the moments you spent at work did. So re-focus, why don't you?"

------
JoeDoyle23
Someday Apple stock is going to be less than $5 a share. Buy lots of it and
hold on to it until you have the ability to talk to your younger self. :)

------
shuki
1) Strive for excellence and not success.... it shall follow 2) Don't take
anything at face value, question it ...

But, i doubt a younger me would listen ...

------
sixothree
Save everything! I still cannot believe I don't have the full backup from my
BBS and that I threw away my Entex Adventure Vision....

------
crisnoble
You know how you are the only one of your friends who knows how to use img
tags on myspace? Learn web development and quit myspace.

------
jk215
Dont be a fucking idiot and coast through college. Dont drop out of computer
science because youre a lazy piece of shit.

------
pasbesoin
Don't compromise your physical health. Ever. Without it, everything else is
harder, perhaps not even possible.

------
bicknergseng
Stop wasting your time in school and build a website for people to "poke" each
other. Name it... Facebook.

------
uhs
23 now. I'd tell my 15 year old self to just commit suicide already because it
doesn't get any better.

~~~
chamboo
I'm really glad I didn't act on these same impulses when I was that age. It's
really hard to keep going sometimes, but when you do, I think you'll look back
and be very grateful that you never made that mistake. A lot of things seem or
appear insurmountable, especially when you're younger, but I promise things
work themselves out in some way or another. You just never know what the next
day will bring. Even if you don't really think you will ever commit suicide
(or even if you do), instead of wasting time thinking about it, do something
that will get you out of your routine, even if it sounds stupid or boring.
Many times something as simple as this has helped me shake feelings of
hopelessness etc...

------
dejv
"Don't stuck in relationships just because is it comfortable." and "Don't stay
in second tier cities."

------
Vargas
Kiss her now!

~~~
jsmanger
Your mom?

------
Killswitch
Stop underestimating yourself.

~~~
mirkules
Likewise, never stop learning.

------
mladenkovacevic
I'd tell him a lot of things but that idiot wouldn't listen to any of it.

------
matkiros
HAHA no, you're not gonna love her forever, you silly horny little kid.

------
gadders
Don't spend so much time titting about on the internet when you are at
work....

Oh :-(

~~~
gadders
Oh, and having kids is THE most completely awesome thing you will ever do, so
don't be afraid of it.

~~~
gadders
And sleeping tablets and laxatives are not a good combo.

------
brudgers
The criteria you use for judging other people is completely wrong.

------
CodeCube
Don't buy that house!

------
danso
Don't be complacent, either in work or in pleasure.

------
Kilimanjaro
Spend less, much less. Invest more, much more.

------
jhrobert
You don't change people, even loved ones.

------
markessien
Travel, it will build your character.

------
tarr11
Learn from success, not failure.

------
willwill100
Don't live for yourself

------
joshuamims
Save more money.

------
joeschindel
Read more.

------
JFitzDela
Grow up.

~~~
jamesbritt
Current self would tell younger self the exact opposite, except that I was
lucky enough to learn that at an early age.

You may have to get older, but you don't have to grow up.

------
rorrr
Buy AAPL

~~~
libria
> Buy AAPL

I'm sure they mean "What advice would you give to a youth similar to yourself
today?"

But hey if that's legit, then "February 18, 2006: 15, 17, 43, 44, 48,
Powerball 29".

------
LOLtampicoLOL
Study physics, get lots of women, gamble, produce good science, travel, party
hard, math first, don't listen to too many people.

