
Men and women can't be just friends - sperm
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/
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acchow

       researchers brought 88 pairs of undergraduate opposite-sex friends into…a science lab.
    

Ok, so this research has nothing to do with men or women - just horny near-
adults.

~~~
isubkhankulov
read on...

>> Males were significantly more likely than females to list romantic
attraction as a benefit of opposite-sex friendships, and this discrepancy
increased as men aged—males on the younger end of the spectrum were four times
more likely than females to report romantic attraction as a benefit of
opposite-sex friendships, whereas those on the older end of the spectrum were
ten times more likely to do the same.

~~~
namlem
Yeah, but what was the age range they tested? If they're comparing 22 year-
olds to 18 year-olds, they're still only covering a small range.

~~~
kbenson
_Accordingly, we aimed to compare the extent to which emerging adults (late
adolescence to mid-twenties) and young and middle-aged adults (late twenties
to about 50) experience attraction to their cross-sex friends_

From the linked paper. That's for the follow-up study.

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kbenson
FYI, this is from 2012, The paper is under the link "New research"[1].

1: [http://bleske-rechek.com/April%20Website%20Files/Bleske-
Rech...](http://bleske-rechek.com/April%20Website%20Files/Bleske-
Rechek%20et%20al.%202012%20Benefit%20or%20Burden.pdf)

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itchyjunk
First off, this is too vague of a generalization based on their sample size.
It makes for a nice casual read but I can't take it too seriously. Though, I
must note, my anecdotal experience also makes me think this is more of a norm.

This also agrees with observed primate behaviors. Males have an incentive to
identify potential mates while female have incentive to pick one out of the
many available. (Male can impregnate many females in a year, female can only
bear one child at a time.)

Friendship and romance also have overlapping characteristics. Example:
"bromance" where it's not sexual but outsiders might see characters typically
associated with romance.

It's too big of a topic and I would probably write an essay.

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thescriptkiddie
Ya, I don't buy this. I know this is just my experience, but I've had plenty
of "just friends" who were members of the opposite sex, and nothing bad ever
happened.

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wsc981
Just speaking for myself: I have never persued a friendship with a woman if I
was not at least attracted to her.

I don't see female colleagues at my current job as friends and I feel the same
about the girlfriends of my friends. Those are just platonic relationships to
me that I am not interested in deepening in any way.

~~~
throwaway91111
That is so odd to me. Why would you pursue (platonic) relationships with men
if there's no attraction? Are you only attracted to women? (I'm assumig you're
male.)

Or are you talking about sexual attraction? Do you view women as only sexual?
I am simply trying to figure out what men provide that women can or do not.

Personally (as a man) I can't make heads or tails out of how to interact with
other men outside of work; I am precisely the opposite of you.

~~~
wsc981
I am only sexually attracted to woman of course.

But at the same time I think men are generally more fun to be around. Woman
are in some way 'less funny' on average.

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manicdee
Apparently the writer of the article can not comprehend the difference between
attraction and action.

I can find someone attractive without trying to have sex with them. Men and
women can be "just friends", and this is not incompatible with "men are more
likely to find friends sexually attractive."

Whether this is due to biology, sociology, culture, or space aliens is
anyone's guess.

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cmac2992
Am I crazy or is their surprisingly little quantitative data? Are we talking a
5% effect or 80%?

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antisthenes
Ah, the undergraduates. The most studied group in America!

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rustynails
About 1/2 of my friends are female. Over the years, I've had a few of my
expressions of interest rejected. However, I've had quite a few female friends
"give up because I didn't get the message they were interested". I've been
abused, called stupid, asked if I was gay, etc by female friends who were
interested in me. I once had to ask a mutual (female) friend what happened
because I couldn't get a word out of one woman. "You can't be THAT dumb, can
you?".

I call bs on this one. I've had too many instances of being explicitly hit on
(about 1 in 3 of good female friends at a guess) to believe the "women aren't
attracted to male friends".

However, I have plenty of female friends who I just like because they are
amazing people.

