
Tech, This Is Good Bye - chx
https://medium.com/@thisismissem/tech-this-is-good-bye-19b88b2a760f
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tnone
Sorry but what are we supposed to take from this? It sounds like this person
was helped every step of the way, including immigration, but fell into
depression and mental health issues around the same time they transitioned
gender. But apparently the only thing that changed was other people's
perception of him/her? I doubt it.

Now they post a long self indulgent medium post rambling on about their
career, which turns out to be a job ad / guilt tripping combo.

Nobody owes you a job, everyone goes through struggles like this sometimes.
The fact that it even occurs to someone to post something like this is a sign
they believe it'll _work_. That's _privilege_.

~~~
smoyer
I was thinking the same thing ... I've been in tech for 35 years and it's
generally a stressful industry (especially during crunch time). She also seems
to spend a very short amount of time at each place she works and is constantly
changing frameworks/technology. Don't get me wrong, I like playing with new
technologies but you also need to achieve mastery at some of them.

~~~
lhnz
It's wrong to say they're constantly changing frameworks/technology when they
are clearly specialised within the JavaScript ecosystem: Node, React, GraphQL,
etc.

Also, I think the post above yours is in very poor taste. They might have
gotten a little help along the way, but the reality is that companies don't
support people with mental health issues enough.

Also, I'm unfortunately not surprised that they were out of work for 7 months,
and expect it probably was due to bias against non-conforming gender
identities. The world is superficial and cruel about things like this.

~~~
smoyer
Yes ... the deck is stacked against her for other reasons which may make it
entirely impossible to prosper in a tech field. I'm not saying that any of the
other factors that might have led her to abandon the field that (from the
writing it seems that) she loves. Mental health issues can have devastating
effects on any career (not that that's fair either) but it's no secret that
many of the homeless in the U.S. have mental health problems.

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Zenst
I'd suggest step back from everything, go camping away from all tech for a
couple of weeks and use that time to reflect upon what makes you happy.

You had a passion for the artistic side form what I can tell and also coding,
but I have personally found if you mix your passion with work, then getting
that balance right can be hard and you will often find your taken advantage of
(long hours/work loads, most self impossed) and can only end up burning out
and wearing you down and lead to depression.

It is a common issue, not just in tech, but the industry does enable it more
than other industries.

You may find that doing your own passion may well be profitable and by that
doing your own company, not contracting, but providing a service of some form.
As indeed you have done in the past, via your art initially.

But stepping back, and away from all everything, to collect your thoughts and
removing all the noise is a great way to get to know yourself what you truly
want and what you do not want.

Don't let a few bad people/experiences dictate your life, more so when you
have had many good people/experiences. Why focus upon the bad more, is often
easily done.

I appreciate writing about it can be very cathartic and enlightening, but
equally, can end up forcing yourself into making decisions based upon the bad
and ignoring the good. You may even find yourself writing a book of advice you
wished your younger self had read and that is perhaps something to ponder.

But don't rule anything out, but do get away from it all and collect your
feelings and enable you to work out what you want in life, what you need in
life and what you want to avoid in life. Also be mindful that over time those
goals/needs and wants change as time goes on, and currently your priority is
yourself, what you want, what makes you happy.

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a2tech
People don't like hiring people that have track records of long absences for
work and mental breaks. I'd have 0 problems employing a trans/gay/gender fluid
person but hiring someone with a documented history of sudden long absences
would be a problem. ESPECIALLY in a startup where everyone has to be pulling
their weight all the time-you can't put the effort into developing and
integrating a team member just to have them check in and out of work randomly.

~~~
NoGravitas
Hi, friend. If you are in the US, you might want to look at the requirements
of the [Americans with Disabilities Act][0]. They specifically _do_ cover
mental impairments such as depression. [It can be hard to get needed
accommodations from employers, though.][1]

This is one of the things that really bothers me, dealing with mental health
issues. Even people that intellectually understand that mental health issues
are as real as physical health issues, will, when it comes down to it, expect
you to suck it up and behave as if you did not have those issues. It is
endlessly frustrating.

[0]:
[https://www.eeoc.gov/facts/ada17.html](https://www.eeoc.gov/facts/ada17.html)
[1]: [https://www.verywell.com/the-ada-and-depression-know-your-
ri...](https://www.verywell.com/the-ada-and-depression-know-your-
rights-1065229)

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Neliquat
Good luck getting hired after that.

I 'left tech' a few times, but the money is good, I have the skills, so its an
ideal fallback. Take care not to burn your bridges, no matter how tattered
they may seem.

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mdekkers
TLDR: someone goes through a bunch of jobs, things didn't work out at current
job, gets fired, decides on not working in tech anymore, and blames the world.
Also a lot of talk about trigger warnings, depressions, gender related talk
and considering becoming a dominatrix.

Trigger Warning: Don't read the article if you cannot stand boring content and
copious amounts of self-loathing.

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bflesch
I wish the author all the best, but I also think this article is a bit heavy
on the self-loathing side.

If you get burnt out multiple times you should really change something because
it seems the working environment is not a good fit.

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katzgrau
I sympathize with the author, but I'm guessing the stints of unemployment have
more to do with the potential for flight risk giving the sporadic employment
history.

IMO, a mediocre but reliable developer is more ideal than an all star who you
can't rely on.

Best of luck to the author though - I hope that sunnier days are ahead.

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nul_byte
Tech, This is Good Bye. Please hire me.

