

Ask HN: What should I do? Help. Something - NeedZenNoZen

I&#x27;ve seen people post on HN a bunch and receive some good advice. I need some advice, and maybe some motivation.<p>I hope to god my story is interesting enough for people to help. I need it to be.<p>I&#x27;m at the point where I basically hate school. I have 2 semesters after this before I graduate. The school I go to is in my opinion a shit hole. I love the people, they are people trying their best after all and this is a real university that does research (bla bla bla), but I can&#x27;t stand what I&#x27;m learning, how I&#x27;m learning it, and the rest of it.<p>I took some online classes in OS and Database Structures... I also didn&#x27;t keep up with the lectures. No big deal, the classes aren&#x27;t hard for me anyways, but the classes also take some questions from the class and ask for those specific answers on the test. I almost failed my midterm today that had the easiest questions... if you watched the lectures that is. I get so unmotivated in classes because I correct everything and everyone. It feels like I can&#x27;t trust anything I learn here. At this point I&#x27;m getting the piece of paper and being done with it so I can actually have time to learn...<p>I&#x27;m working at an awesome place with some of the smartest at my school where we do client work together, but while I was learning iOS with some python&#x2F;django too and going to be moving away from the shit PHP work I&#x27;m doing I have lost all my time for that with school and actual work to do. I need the money.<p>I avoid doing work to hang out with my girlfriend. She doesn&#x27;t know it, and if she did she&#x27;d tell me to get my work done. She is also dealing with things too and I don&#x27;t want to lean on her.<p>I&#x27;m so angry and unmotivated and generally uncomfortable with my own skin today. What in the hell is wrong! I know it will pass, but how long? How many things will I ignore or fail at until I snap out of it? How many times?
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boyaka
If you can't go to class for 4 hours a day or whatever, take notes, and do
assignments, then how are you going to work for companies that require the
degree and want to manage your time for 8 hours a day and give you tasks that
might be just as menial? You chose your degree, you get to choose your
classes, and for the core requirements, if the school is decent, you at least
have the option of waiting to take it with a different teacher if they are
that intolerable.

The ability to do tough work that you might not necessarily enjoy but must be
done and do that consistently without stopping is exactly the reason companies
require them. Of course they also want good talent that will contribute and
make them more successful, but a large part of joining a company at first is
training on menial tasks, working full time, and working well with others. It
doesn't so much require that you have knowledge/skill, just the ability to
learn the way the company does things, be absorbed into the culture, and be
manageable. This also only gets you the smallest salary in the company, but it
at least gets you your foot in the door so you can BE mentored and learn from
others, just like you are supposed to be learning from your teachers/peers.

Many talented and driven people don't need that. They can find something that
can make money and learn about how to accomplish that all on their own.
However, although I am NOT one of those people, I assume that it is a rough
road to take by depending solely on this talent. If you can tolerate getting a
degree and showing that you can be obedient, you can make it a lot easier on
yourself to gain more knowledge, talent, and resources by getting into a
company easily. It's a big risk to depend only on yourself, because there is a
lot of competition out there.

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airfoil
I was two semesters away from finishing my degree. I quit. As a result I was
unable to pursue the job that I had dreamed about as a child (joining the Navy
as an officer and flying). I've also been turned down for opportunities, that
I was qualified for, simply because I didn't have a degree. It took me years
to gain the experience that overshadowed my lack of a degree and it was a
long, painful, and difficult road. Please get your degree.

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jason_slack
I went through something similar in college.

So I started a side project. I got to work on it only after my school work was
done and my job was done. Sometimes that meant staying up a few extra hours.

I think this will pass. 2 Semesters, I'd stay in school and bang that out.
Could you take an extra class or 2 this next semester so you have a really
easy last semester so you can job hunt or dedicate yourself more to a project
you enjoy?

~~~
chrisBob
>So I started a side project. I got to work on it only after my school work
was done and my job was done. Sometimes that meant staying up a few extra
hours.

Side projects are a great way to get yourself out of a rut, and give you
something to focus on. If your school requires a senior project then start
working on it early and make it something that you can show off when you are
looking for jobs next year.

You can also consider taking harder classes that keep your attention. My
sister was hating college for a while and then I found out that her hardest
class that semester was "The history of the Beatles". Laziness can be a hard
rut to get out of, but challenging interesting work will help. If you are
feeling lazy then take a few _extra_ credits to keep you going.

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nysska
That was me one year ago.

I just graduated and I must say - I am really glad I did. It has been
frustrating, exhausting and driving me mad for the most part of it.

I was working two jobs and attending the uni at the same time while having a
normal relationship - all at the same time. It was getting harder and harder,
no free time, no weekends no nothing, no me time. I have felt helpless and I
was going to give up twice. The university was boring and I couldn't focus on
the stuff we were doing there because it was to easy, and the way we were
learning it was... not suitable for me.

Talk with people, it helps. You will feel frustrated for most of it, but I
must say - it is really worth it. It is just a year, it would be a shame to
lose the previous years. I promised myself that I will do it. And I stuck it
out, got my "let's d this" hat on, kept the jobs, finished uni and now doing a
gap year before my masters - I need a break. It will pass, talk to your
girlfriend, and relax - it seems like an impossible thing to do, but you will
be glad once you graduate.

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JSeymourATL
Can you hack together a resilient mindset and positive attitude while grinding
out your degree program?

Suggest reading Viktor Frankl's classic Man's Search for Meaning, good food
for thought>
[http://books.google.com/books/about/Man_s_Search_for_Meaning...](http://books.google.com/books/about/Man_s_Search_for_Meaning.html?id=K2AvZmco3E0C)

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brakebeat
Sorry to hear – and yes, it will pass!

Focus on the degree. Two semesters will fly by. In many cases, a degree is
just proof on a resume that you were able to stick to a task, and finish the
job.

Be upfront with your girlfriend. The current work/school dilemma isn't a
permanent situation – it's a means to an end (or a beginning, I guess). Good
luck.

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dorfuss
I also think that your problem is that you are almost done with the school,
you matured and grew indepedent from the institution - you are smart and
experienced enough to have your own ideas of doing stuff. And the crisis you
are going through is not extraordinary, rather normal. But also a part of
being mature is to be able to do things that are not interesing, not nice, and
- quite often - not needed.

In the future you will have client's who are idiots, and business partners
whom you cannot stand, and tasks that are just repetitive and uninventive. So
treat this last few semesters as a good training. Observe your self, see how
you react to these obsticles, try work out a strategy of dealing with such
hardships. It'll definitely be useful and make you a stronger human being.

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squiguy7
You just described my situation to a tee. However, I can't tell you how many
times people I talked to said to __stay in school. __I felt trapped in a
bureaucratic mess too and still have a bit of time left until I graduate. The
truth of the matter is that without a degree, life is just that much harder
nowadays. Sure there are always exceptions but in hindsight they often work
much more to get where they are.

I try to occupy my spare time with some side projects and hobbies as well so I
don't get burned out. My girlfriend just split up with me and now I have an
enormous amount of free time.

Focusing may seem impossible, but if you can distract yourself every now and
then you will feel a bigger desire to get things done.

Good luck.

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OneOneOneOne
Talk it over with someone who knows you well. I don't think an online forum is
this best place for this kind of thing.

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Mimu
How come you can't handle staying only 1 year to get your degree if it's super
easy for you? Always get your degree, never leave school, especially so close
to the end.

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lutusp
The odds are 99% that, twenty years from now, you'll be glad you stuck it out,
as you survey the working room floor from your carpeted office where you make
the decisions for those people who acted on their frustration at the slow pace
of formal education.

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joeclark77
Go to class and do the assignments. And also do the side work and learning
that you are enjoying. College students have so much free time and resources
available to you, but waste it all on sleeping until noon and spending
afternoons playing video games. For intolerably boring lectures, consider
doodling. Maybe you can also offer some constructive help in improving the
class. If it's a web programming class in PHP, and you think Python would be a
good addition, offer to do a 20 minute demo in some upcoming class. I have
students do this kind of thing all the time, albeit usually they're after
honors credit.

I recommend you marry the girl. A wife civilizes a man. At the very least,
she'll get your priorities straightened out, make sure you're eating and
sleeping on a normal schedule like a human being, and hold you to finishing
the degree.

