
One week of empathy training - edent
https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2019/07/i-feel-hopeless-rejected-and-a-burden-on-society-one-week-of-empathy-training/https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2019/07/i-feel-hopeless-rejected-and-a-burden-on-society-one-week-of-empathy-training/
======
sago
An excellent blog post. I found the experience of being a wheelchair user a
little amusing.

It is very unusual for companies or organisations to deny being accessible. In
much of the world accessibility is a legal requirement, but it is very rare
that it is precisely defined. So it is a very different matter whether that
accessibility is adequate.

If the author had been in a chair, they would likely have found that the ramps
up to the dais are far too steep, and require them to be manhandled up in full
view of everyone. Some ramps may have been temporary and split, preventing
powered chairs from using them. Or the ramp might have been ostensibly owned,
but misplaced when it comes to be needed. They may well have discovered that
the only accessible bathroom is in the bowels of the building, frequently used
for convenience by nondisabled people, require a key from reception, is used
as a store room, or is part of a regular bathroom behind an inaccessible
automatic closing door. Were gradients in the outdoor landscape too difficult?
Could all the doors be opened while having hands on both wheels to move the
chair? Were refreshments accessible? Were tables the right shape to get a
wheelchair under them? What about a powered chair?

I completely agree and sympathise that the range of disabilities is much
broader than physical disability. But I think we should be careful of assuming
even physical disability has been cracked. I think it is essential that more
people have experience of navigating space in wheelchairs. In my experience it
is much much more difficult than I would ever have assumed.

~~~
swebs
>In much of the world accessibility is a legal requirement

This is very true for the USA, but not so much elsewhere. It's common in
Europe for buildings to have no wheelchair access at all.

~~~
adestefan
Much of this is thanks to the American with Disabilities Act (ADA) which will
celebrate it's 30th anniversary next year. I can remember how much people
despised that the government was forcing another regulation on the poor
businesses and how the world was going to come crashing down as a result. But
here we are with at least a mediocre of accessibility and much of it can be
traced back to the ADA.

~~~
bsder
> But here we are with at least a mediocre of accessibility and much of it can
> be traced back to the ADA.

While the accessibility may be mediocre, we do have a modicum of it.

------
jddj
I'm glad that they claimed not to know sign language. There's a tendency among
the healthy and able-bodied (myself included) to assume that if someone is
deaf or has a disability which prevents them from speaking then they've likely
had it from birth and will have developed means of communicating in other
ways.

But there are a slew of accidents and later-onset diseases which could leave
someone suddenly unable to speak and without the time to learn to compensate
with something like sign language.

When a close relative was diagnosed with one of these diseases in Australia,
their doctor gave them a website to use where they could type and somebody
would play their part on a phonecall. Their staff would call the desired
number and transcribe the person's response, reading out in turn any (typed)
response from my relative.

I don't know who ran or funded the service (likely local, state or federal
government, because Australia is pretty good like that), or what it was
called, but I have a great deal of respect for the program.

~~~
justinlink
I believe these have existed for years in the US too. I had a deaf friend in
high school and she could call me using a service where they received typed
messages from her. It was 20 years ago so I don't remember exactly how it
worked on her end but I remember receiving those calls each time from a
different voice.

~~~
codingdave
I used to have regular calls with a sysadmin who connected to our service
using a relay service. This was back in the early 90s before the internet was
pervasive, so we replicated databases via modems, and that involved
coordination with the various admins. The relay operators were always quite
clear when they called, letting me know they were acting as a relay for the
guy, and despite our fairly technical discussions, it worked. I won't claim it
was the easiest communications I've ever had, but we kept our systems
connected.

------
ginko
I never understood why so many companies prefer to be contacted by phone. I
don't have a speech disorder, but I just don't like using the phone. Shouldn't
interactions by email or chat be more efficient for companies as well?

~~~
moccachino
A typical pattern is to accept orders electronically but cancellations only by
phone between 1:00 pm and 1:12 pm.

~~~
ianai
Should be illegal.

~~~
DaiPlusPlus
It is illegal.

(If they don’t accept correspondence from any other media)

Companies in every state in the US have to have a USPS mailing address. It’s a
simple matter of sending them a proof-of-delivery letter to their business
address registered with their state’s company register to request an end to
your business dealings with them.

If they ignore it or claim they didn’t receive it despite USPS attesting it
was delivered, then they aren’t monitoring their physical mail address and
presumably there’s state penalties for that.

Hmmm! Startup idea: a dotcom website that sends USPS mail to business you hate
dealing with to succinctly request service termination and no further contact.
Any takers?

~~~
bsanr2
Presumably the inevitable Aereo-esque lawsuits are what keep people away.

------
antisocial
I was disabled for two months following my ankle surgery. I had to be non-
weight bearing and was not supposed to let my foot touch the ground. Each
simple daily step was ten steps. To change pants, find some place to sit, use
the knee scooter to go there, sit and then change pants. Scooting to this
sitting spot, usually a couch in my bedroom takes some maneuvering the scooter
from a closet. Couldn't take a shower standing, getting into a tub was a big
process. Through all this, I gained an appreciation for the permanently
disabled people. I haven't recovered completely, but when I am, I want to use
that knee scooter at least once a month to count my blessings rather than
fretting about trivial things.

~~~
ubermonkey
Right there with you.

I have considered myself as reasonably aware for my whole life, probably
because my mother was a physical therapist, but it wasn't until I spent some
time being severely mobility-compromised that I really understood.

About 5 years ago, I had a bad cycling crash where I broke my hip. (Doing this
at 44 takes some energy, apparently; they put me in a study because the number
of healthy 44 year olds with broken hips who didn't get them courtesy of an
auto accident or IED overseas is apparently small.)

I couldn't walk for 3 months, and was pretty compromised due to atrophy for
another 2 or so after that. Mostly, I used a walker, but for a week on a
cruise we'd booked, I used a wheelchair. Being in that position even for a
short amount of time will really change your outlook.

------
disabled
This is coming from a disabled individual: I do not find the practice
described in the post offensive, as a disabled person, but many people in the
disability community actually do find it offensive. I am talking about
"simulating" life with a disability, such as from a wheelchair, when you do
not have a disability.

Many disability related publications may be viewed as "radical" by the able-
bodied, but you should take it for what it is. Many of us have lost some basic
human dignity and/or respect from others due to just being disabled, and this
is how some of the "radical" aspects come about in writing. Anyways, here is a
good article why these "disability simulations" are offensive to some:
[http://www.raggededgemagazine.com/focus/wrongmessage04.html](http://www.raggededgemagazine.com/focus/wrongmessage04.html)

Instead, one should be contacting the diverse disability community (via social
media, for example) and consulting directly with them, and actually doing what
they ask for, for accommodations.

There are many leaders who would be more than happy to help. If you look for
them, you will find them, especially via places like Twitter.

Also, making apps completely accessible for the blind, from the start, ends up
making your app logistically better for everyone too.

The same goes for making buildings accessible for various disabilities (curb
cuts benefit not only wheelchair users and the mobility impaired, but people
with strollers too). Captions not only benefit the deaf. The same goes with
making events accessible for people with autism, epilepsy, etc.

A lot of this stuff really does not cost more. You just have to consult and
ask the disabled community, such as via Twitter. A lot of them would be more
than happy to help you, pro-bono.

------
forgotmypw
If you think that's bad, try turning off JS in your browser, or even using
not-Chromefox for a week.

I use qutebrowser for what I consider an accessibility reason--not using a
pointing device to prevent arm/shoulder pain. Keeping JS turned off improves
performance on my older devices.

For example, Slack tells me that my version of QB using Chromium 65.x for
WebKit base, is unuspported. Oh well, good riddance. But that keeps me from
accessing information about the hacker space I don't go to anymore because I
can't find out if someone is there to let me in.

This kind of arrogance about new device is widespread among hacker types who
design and develop for Chrome latest on a top-spec machine and ignore everyone
else.

See also: Age simulation suit
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDUMIAfjBIc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDUMIAfjBIc)

I tried just using wheelchair paths in NYC for a few weeks. Aside from only a
small percentage of stations having any accomodations at all, most of the time
the elevator to the platform is on the other end of the station from the
elevator to the street. (Boston has almost stations accessible, with some
lines having elevators in every station.) The Access-A-Ride service requires
waiting several hours at times (I never used it, just witnessed it with other
people.) TL;DR: If you're handicapped in NYC, don't schedule more than one
appointment per day, and forget about doing anything else that day.

------
tyleo
I think the current title of this article is a bit “click-baity”. That being
said, I really appreciate the content.

I worked on video game UI for several years and part of that job was
interviewing users who had difficulty. We specifically interviewed users with
disabilities because we believed that making our game better for that set of
users made the game better for all users.

Even if you don’t want to go for a whole week pretending to have a disability
their are simple things you can do to live the experience in a limited fashion
like simulating color-blindness in software, using arthritis simulating gloves
or even pulling your chair back and seeing if you can still read the text in
your UI.

~~~
edent
The title is literally how I felt.

I encourage you to run the experiment yourself, and blog about it. I'd be
interested in your experiences and what blog title you'd choose.

------
Chris2048
Hmm, disabled users aside, this is park of a general dark pattern: no text-
based contacts.

Aside from meaning you need to be available at whatever phone hours are, it
mean you don't have a paper trail. I believe this is _exactly_ why it is done.
Legal permission is often needed to record a phone call; The support line may
explicitly tell you the call is being recorded, there is no option to opt out
(recorded, or no support), no option to obtain the recording (for our uses,
not yours).

This one-sided paper trail is beneficial for such companies, it means they can
outsource and not worried if customers are lid to, what can the customer
prove? If it's a contact for a cancellation, they aren't even losing pissing
off a customer, just an ex-customer.

Phone companies are especially fond of this, e.g. Virgin. I've yet to find a
good contact for Vodaphone. Some will explicitly tell you that some <foo>
function is "handled by the <foo> team", who are only contactable by phone
(and are often subjected to commissioned sales).

~~~
edent
In the UK, you don't need permission to record your personal phone calls. I do
it all the time.

And, if you send a Subject Access Request under GDPR, the company will provide
recordings.

------
open-source-ux
_" Switch on subtitles...Do they even have subtitles?"_

To their credit, the BBC provides 100% subtitle coverage of all their TV
channel content.

However, many video reports on the BBC News website are not subtitled - so
still room for improvement.

------
eden_hazard
I know some selfish people and live with one of them right now. I think no
amount of talking and therapy will change these kinds of people. For some,
it's inherited and ingrained in them. I live with a cousin who even at 5-6
years old was like that. We'd go to a store and do shopping and he would drop
the bags and refuse to help us out and carry them. At 24 he's the same way
lol. We'll cook and he will rarely help out but he'll be the first to eat. I
think weed and hallucinogens can help people have more empathy. It makes them
feel more connected to the world and everyone else.

~~~
microcolonel
> _I think weed and hallucinogens can help people have more empathy._

Maaaybe.. in my experience, selfish people just tend to become _annoying_ when
they're high.

~~~
scruple
I really can't imagine ever thinking to myself, "You know what I really wanna
do? Eat some shrooms around <person who is really selfish>."

------
brooklyn_ashey
Truly excellent post! I discovered just how inaccessible the NYC transit
system is for folks using wheelchairs or other personal assists when I had
surgery. It is appalling how many elevators are broken all the time, thus
making fast transit nigh impossible. That experience made me much more aware
of accessibility issues people face. More needs to be done.

------
tgafpg
This author apparently didn't even try to use the __Text Relay Service __which
exists exactly for this purpose. Relay Services have been available for
decades and are free with many Internet enabled options. Either this author
doesn 't know any persons with speech or hearing disabilities or _did zero
research_ into the topic.

~~~
jackweirdy
That would not have helped in this case:

> Terence: I am perfectly capable of managing my affairs - and I don't want to
> give my password to someone else.

~~~
tgafpg
Except this happens all the time. It's the same details you'd provide to a CSR
at a call center.

------
feyman_r
Coincidentally, started listening to this podcast episode on NPR Hidden Brain
- The Empathy Gym [0].

Reading this blog post and listening to that podcast is making me think on how
I can focus on building empathy in my children. I guess leading by example is
the right way to go....

[0] - [https://www.npr.org/2019/07/22/744195502/you-2-0-the-
empathy...](https://www.npr.org/2019/07/22/744195502/you-2-0-the-empathy-gym)

------
iicc
URL[0] is wrong (but redirects correctly).

[0]literally - [https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2019/07/i-feel-hopeless-rejected-
an...](https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2019/07/i-feel-hopeless-rejected-and-a-burden-
on-society-one-week-of-empathy-
training/https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2019/07/i-feel-hopeless-rejected-and-a-
burden-on-society-one-week-of-empathy-training/)

~~~
edent
Weird! I thought I only pasted it once. Thanks for spotting.

------
wickedsickeune
Given that you can't speak and must use a phone, can't you use a text to
speech (TTS) solution? There are whole Youtube videos with stupid old MS Sam,
and they're passable, modern TTS sounds a lot better. I have never thought of
that possibility for disability, and thank you for enlightening me.

------
jokowueu
"I've spent a week cosplaying as a disabled user. And I hate it"

~~~
gumby
While accurate I believe your comment trivializes the issue.

It is hard to empathise with many disabilities until you have "walked a mile
in their shoes". You don't even notice the failure modes.

The idea that people should try, and the emergence of products like the
arthritis simulating gloves, and good steps.

When the ADA passed there was (and of course remains) criticism that it only
helps a disproportionally few people and if businesses didn't want their
custom that was the business' problem. But we all take advantage of many ADA
affordances either through transient disability (e.g. breaking a limb) or just
life (carrying a large number of packages).

Please don't scorn the author. I personally would not have gone as far. And I
learnt something by reading the article.

~~~
nemetroid
The parent comment quotes the first line of the article.

~~~
gumby
Indeed, and I said it is accurate, but while the introduction of the article
is ironic: why would someone say something that shocking about their behavior?
Read on and you'll see he felt it only scratched at the surface. And "I hate
it"...we learn that "it" wasn't the experience itself, which was frustrating,
but the vistas of difficulty for his fellow people it opened his eyes too.

While to pull only that line out comes off as mocking.

------
siegecraft
Ah, yes, disability tourism.

