

Ask HN: Is asking someone where they work bad etiquette? - hmsimha

I notice at tech meetups and user groups, people love to talk about what they work with, and it's not uncommon for someone to mention where they work, or for speakers to be asked to mention where they work when giving talks. However, I've noticed that the question comes up much less frequently in casual conversation. As someone looking for a job right now, I'm pretty interested in what companies are using what technologies. It's unclear to me, however, if the reason people don't ask each other who they work for is because they're merely not interested (most of the people at these meetings already have jobs) or because it's considered a mild faux pas, or try-hard, to ask. Dear HN community, please teach me your ways so that I might appear that much more savvy.
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timrosenblatt
Etiquette varies by region. I'm in San Francisco, and I do business
development for a living, which means I talk to a lot of people. I'd say these
rules are true for all of the US.

It's totally normal to ask where people work. In fact, it's outright good to
do. As you meet more people, you'll find odd coincidences, like someone you
just met works with a good friend of yours. Things like this will help build
your network, and that's a good thing, especially as you look for a job. And
don't forget to maintain your network once you've gotten the job!

As an example: "Hey, how's it going?"; "What brings you here"; "Oh cool, do
you use this at work?"; "What company do you work with?"; and you're there in
4 sentences.

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bdunbar
I don't feel 'where you work' or 'what you work with' is taboo.

In social chit-chat, it's .. awkward? to bring it up, sometimes. I'd guess
that maybe 1/20 people know anything about what I do. Mention [Puppet,
Solaris, Linux, BASH, Ruby, NetApp, FTP] and their eyes glaze.

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ohashi
In Washington, DC this is often the first question that comes up between
people. Some people find it off-putting (often times it's people new to the
area), but it's pretty customary and I don't think most people find it strange
here.

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Trapick
Some places it is - I have friends from France who would consider "where do
you work" and "what do you do" about as rude as directly asking how much money
you make, and not to be done except among close friends.

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notahacker
And some places it isn't: I've struck up conversations with complete strangers
in India where "What salary?" comes up right at the beginning.

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sp332
"What do you do" or "where do you work" is one of the most common questions
when you're getting to know someone.

