
I’m Really Tired. It’s A Good Thing. - dariusmonsef
http://bubs.co/im-really-tired-its-a-good-thing
======
EricMuller22
The really strong guy at the gym has probably figured out the importance of
rest. If you just watched him dead lift a ton of weight, odds are very good
that he didn't dead lift the day before, even if he was at the gym working on
something else. He also probably takes an entire week of active rest after
every 6-8 weeks of heavy lifting. He's working his ass off, but he's also
being smart about it.

~~~
dariusmonsef
Agreed. And I'm not literally running a marathon every day. A more accurate
analogy might have been a triathlon or decathlon. I just wanted to paint the
picture of somebody who's achieved success in something, but if you looked at
them at the point end of having just done something exhausting... big
surprise, they'd look exhausted.

------
freshhawk
> If I wasn’t tired, there’s no way I could be doing a great job at all of
> those things

His point might have been that when you are tired your ability to do a great
job is severely lessened compared to when you are not, this includes your
ability to realistically evaluate how good of a job you are doing. Being tired
_means_ that you have impaired working memory, attention (especially
vigilance), descision making abilities and general cognitive function.

I can't think of a more important predictor to the ability to get work done
for long periods of time than knowing how to manage your life and time enough
to _not_ be tired all the time. They don't give a shit about how many hours
you work, they care about how much necessary work you get done.

There's a trade-off to make here obviously, sometimes it's worth it. Some
tasks can still be done if you are operating at 50% of your abilities, but if
running a startup and parenting were that easy our world would be quite
different.

I won't speculate on the specific situation you talk about because I don't
know the details and you do. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

That said, your post rubbed me the wrong way because it's too much like the
common geek macho bullshit that's too common in this community. You can't
bully your brain into working better just with a self-help pep talk full of
bland aphorisms and completely ignorant of modern knowledge about health and
productivity. And you might want to avoid the comparisons to athletics - elite
athletes talk about and track their rest obsessively. They don't show up to a
tryout injured and defensively complain when it's pointed out.

~~~
dariusmonsef
For a fuller perspective on what my thoughts are on geek macho bullshit, you
might care to read: [http://bubs.co/if-you-ever-feel-alone-in-
this](http://bubs.co/if-you-ever-feel-alone-in-this) (I agree that there is
too much of it.)

And I should know better than to post any kind of general analogy as a way to
illustrate a story here on HN with a bunch of smart people who'll punch holes
in the technical impracticalities of such analogy... but yes, I took a
negative word of "tired" and bent it to tell a story. Rest is important.
Operating at 50% isn't good for the long haul.

I wasn't trying to suggest that being tired in a way that affects ongoing
abilities to perform is a good thing. I just wanted to point out that if you
just pop your head in to take a measurement of something, without the context
of everything else going on, then that measurement might be off... ie, the
investor seeing me as tired, without knowing it was because of the intensely
productive and long week I had just come out of.

~~~
freshhawk
I clicked through and realized I had read that already and liked it quite a
bit, I just read it again and I still do.

I was aware of my comment being close to one of those too typical "here's
what's wrong with this post" comments, but you hit on two things that
aggravate me the most in our community and I'm a bit of a pusher of the whole
"work smarter, work less, get more done" line of thinking in general.

"the investor seeing me as tired, without knowing it was because of the
intensely productive and long week I had just come out of"

That's why I gave you the benefit of the doubt, I figured this was part of
your meaning and why you put the sports analogy in there. I'm with you 100%
here, but when you drifted towards the glorification of long hours and threw
in a "changing the world" (I hate this delusion with a passion, but you should
obviously get a pass because with Hands.org you are one of the very few
_actually_ trying to do good) I got a bit snarky.

~~~
dariusmonsef
Wait wait... two people seemed to disagree on the internet and then after a
few traded messages they end up in agreement and a better understanding of
each other... we might have just broken the internet. :)

~~~
rwillmer
How very refreshing :)

------
norswap
(In my experience,) Tired isn't sustainable. It might indeed prove you have
the grit to make it, but don't make a lifestyle out of it please.

~~~
dariusmonsef
I'd agree that "tired" ie, without energy or running on fumes isn't
sustainable. But I'm more speaking about the ups & downs of "tired." If you
don't have the energy to do what you're doing and are using something else to
get you through each day, ie, way too much caffeine, drugs, etc. Then yeah,
you gotta make some changes.

------
kirillzubovsky
I love the ending of your article! Cheer up. You're the one running the
company, what the hell do the VCs know. They get a pay check regardless of how
many hours they show up for work. _high five_

~~~
dariusmonsef
Thanks Kirill, but I am cheered up. :) When I was first told, it took me by
surprise and I've since thought a lot about it. Once I spent some time really
processing it, I had to write down what I realized.

------
rhizome
Some people thrive on finding other peoples' weaknesses, especially those
based upon appearances. In PUA terms they're negging you.

~~~
dariusmonsef
Probably true... but they didn't end up full-closing.

------
gedrap
I get your point and I believe that quite sucks.

There might be a number of reasons why they do that. Maybe it's just a reason
they give for rejection while the real reason is somewhat uncomfortable to
say. Maybe they are afraid that you will burn out (and that's legitimate
concern, take a break!). Maybe someone enthusiastic just gives a better
feeling, vibe, something not very conscious. Because while you are with
someone energetic, optimistic, you suddenly become like him. When you are with
someone exhausted, you might start to feel the same.

I get your pain, I respect your hard work, but I'd suggest to put yourself in
their shoes - maybe there's something you haven't noticed? :)

~~~
dariusmonsef
Oh, yeah. It took me a while to process what they said, because I did put
myself in their shoes... Am I really tired looking? Does my team think that?
Am I putting off a negative tired vibe, or an excited about the hard work
vibe, etc.

At the end of the day, and having talked to my team and family, I decided they
just took a thin slice of experience and used it to make it into a negative...
perhaps instead of being adult enough to say the real reason they didn't
believe in me, the business, etc.

------
jongraehl
Obviously if you feel tired you won't function at 100%, but even worse, people
who've accumulated a sleep debt (or approx. equivalently, borrowed extra hours
of wakefulness), may report feeling rested and yet still suffer severe
performance deficits:

[http://graehl.org/2013/02/21/chronic-6hrnight-sleep-
incompet...](http://graehl.org/2013/02/21/chronic-6hrnight-sleep-
incompetence/)

------
erickuhn19
A great article. The point of not only working hard for your career but
working hard to build a great family is really refreshing. Too often we see
people going, "all in", on one aspect of their lives, whether that is career
or personal enjoyment. The balance described might make him tired, but as he
said that is a really good thing.

------
zack415
I'm really tired too.

~~~
achalv
So am I. But it's a good thing. :)

