

Ask HN: What are your rock bottom experiences? - solipsist

Most of us have reached rock bottom at some point or another, whether it's in financial terms or something else. As sad and depressing as they may be, it's fun to hear how the people worked their way back up and got to where they are today. Unless you post from when you are currently at rock bottom, there should be some improvement you've made over the years.<p>While I don't have any good stories to tell, I'm very interested in reading other people's stories. So if you don't mind, go ahead and fill us in on your rock bottom experiences.
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whynotanon
I had started my business and things were going more slowly than I'd imagined
they would. So slowly I needed to take a job to pay for rent and food and the
salaries of some very part-time staff who were essential for various reasons.
So I picked up a teaching gig at a small private training school that brought
in foreign kids working on ESL and dumped them in small group classes while
they got ready to attend real schools.

The money was not great, but I rationalized myself into taking the work
because the teaching time was compressed so I could work from 9-4 each day and
then cram away at development until 2am or so. Or that was the idea. In
reality the job was a massive psychological drain. There were no textbooks or
support of any kind so doing anything half-decent required a lot of energy and
creativity. Meanwhile, doing a bad job would have meant letting down the kids
and being actively complicit in a system that functioned primarily to separate
their parents from their parents' money.

It wasn't what I had signed on for, but it seemed easier to push through and
try to do the best job I could than back out. The work was only a month or
two, and what other choice did I have, I asked? And so it happened that as I
walked in to class one day about three weeks after starting I literally burned
out in the hallway. I had just dragged myself out of the stairwell when I
suddenly felt like the bottom of the world. I was tired and depressed and
exhausted and all of a sudden found myself perceiving myself from the outside
and looking down and pitying myself at the same time. Before that I'd been
able to shelter myself from those emotions by convincing myself that my
actions were positive sacrifices that were necessary to start the business.
But in that moment I saw my defenses as pointless delusions. I felt like a
dead man walking. I was clearly the world's biggest failure. Career. Business.
Whatever. Anyone with any sort of objectivity would have to agree.

I stopped working there after that first class wrapped up, but the money paid
the bills and helped get me to the break-even point, or what I managed to
convince myself was the break-even point. I don't think it is as bad as coping
with bankruptcy or death or anything, but it was my lowest point and I don't
want to go any lower.

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emrahyalaz
I was working 3 jobs and seeking a startup to join (didn't have a green card
back then, so start my own wasn't an option). I was in grad school and had a
4.0 GPA and needed to keep it there in case I couldn't get something
interesting, my b-plan was PhD (I didn't want to return to my home country
tail between my legs). One job was waiting tables from 3pm-1AM 4 nights a
week. I was married.

One night I got into an argument with a fellow waiter who badmouthed me for
coming along and picking up american jobs (I had just started making a lot of
tips b/c I served humans better). Manager took his side so I got pissed and
quit. I went home and my now ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce and was
planning to move in with one of her friends from school (she was a student
too). I got depressed and had an accident with my Pontiac POS. It was a
freezing cold Chicago winter with temps 20 below. I got even more depressed,
sat home on a couch and drank bourbon for a week.

That's my absolute lowest point. Everything got better after that. Much, much,
much better:)

