
Ask HN: How do I tell my founder I'm out? - ghopper
I&#x27;ve been part of an amazing startup the past few years. The products and work we&#x27;ve done as a small group (~20 people) has been astonishing, but its time for me to move on.<p>How do I tell the founder (who I&#x27;ve been along side of since the beginning) its time for me to move on? I know he&#x27;s not prepared to lose a main player in our tight knit group. I owe a good deal of what I&#x27;ve become to him but I need new experiences, new people, and to learn new things. I feel remorseful leaving while hard work continues daily and I&#x27;m not sure how to approach him about this.
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elliottinvent
He may already sense something isn't right so it could be a lot easier than
you think. Someone leaving the company always has the added bonus of reducing
overheads and increasing runway (this is little consolation if you're
irreplaceable). I wouldn't worry about it too much, he'll survive and you'll
feel infinitely better once you've said those words.

~~~
paulcole
> this is little consolation if you're irreplaceable

This is probably the biggest mistake people make when talking about leaving a
job.

So few employees are truly irreplaceable that you may as well just say that no
employee is irreplaceable. It's good for the ego to believe you are but the
truth is that companies make do, get by, and recover.

Honestly the "irreplaceable" people I've seen who do leave have been so
egotistic and strong-willed that things end up better in the long run.

Note to anyone reading this: Please don't reply and say "well in my case..."

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elliottinvent
Well in my case... I've never found anyone irreplaceable either.

It doesn't seem to be the case here but I could see how a technical co-founder
could be irreplaceable to a non-technical co-founder.

~~~
fairpx
Time is the only healing factor in these situations. No matter how you bring
the news, it'll take some time for everything to settle.

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mvpu
Pick a last date with plenty of time (say 3 months). Write down your thoughts
in a doc - make it detailed and touchy with reasons for leaving, a rough
transition plan, timeline. Schedule a lunch. The night before, send the doc.
So that he reads the doc, gets 12-14 hours to digest and think, and then
reconcile with you and work out a transition plan.

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rajacombinator
If it were really that amazing, you wouldn’t be leaving. Give 2-4 weeks
notice, be generous about the positive aspects of your experience, give honest
feedback but only if asked. Any founder that can’t live with that doesn’t
deserve better.

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thiago_fm
it's just a job, say that you want to leave, maybe the "founder" will try to
bring you closer to the company, by making you founder also, if you want, of
course, otherwise jus get out.

if the products and work you guys did is making money or making the founder
"more successful", he's the one who is getting the most benefits, why should
you bow to him/her? just say you want to quit and not burn bridges, and even
if you do, whatever...

people work because of money and success, you gave them both, so you can leave
without any concerns and you better leave, so maybe you can also get both.

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SirLJ
What is the reason, you don’t see a future for the company or you don see a
future for yourself in the company? Maybe just tell him the truth...

~~~
ghopper
As with any great venture, its usually the people who make the difference. We
don't have the "right" people (not to say we have the "wrong people" either)
for everything to take off, and I can't see that happening any time soon
without massive changes.

Also, the little to no new dev work, very stressful environment, long hours,
poor pay (I wasn't in it for the $) has been difficult...Overall my heart is
elsewhere and mentally I'm tired.

~~~
aurizon
You can engage with the founder, describe the problems - as you see them, ask
him if he concurs or not. This will produce a number of possible 'forks' to
solve the problems with the organization and the people, depending on what
portions he agrees/disagrees with. You can engage experienced VC
funders/founders to see if there is hope, and to assess the structural or
personnel problems. The hope may lie in engaging with the people/processes who
are assessed as 'the problem'.

If the problems are quantifiable and people can be educated to see/solve them
there is hope. You can be re-capture the start-up thrill and elan that made
you all work hard and succeed. Failing this? Find a company that has solved
these problems and who has the right people and sell out/merge with them.

This might mean some hard decisions to eliminate the obstructive people with
separation shares and agreements to allow them to leave and not want to sue or
otherwise harm the company.

Total failure wastes all you and the founder have done to date, so adapt to
thrive...

~~~
ghopper
Unfortunately due to bureaucracies and politics, the investors (and founder)
have a very particular point of view and change is nearly impossible.

Some of us have tried (multiple times) in the past to rekindle that thrill and
excitement but issues still persisted and nothing changed. With enough time
(almost) anything is possible, I just can't wait around forever for promises
to be made and broken over and over again.

I fear many small failures are unavoidable in the short term (2+ years) and I
need to focus on my own personal and career growth for me and my family.

~~~
partisan
So umm, it sounds like you made attempts to change the situation and there was
no improvement forthcoming. Give notice of 2 weeks (3 weeks if you are really
broken up about it) and move on with life. You are not paid well, don’t have
enough skin in the game, and aren’t working for a charity. Whatever loyalty
you have for your employer should be tempered by the fact that he did not
value the opinions you have expressed previously. When you leave, you can
either be honest or just say you are moving on to new opportunities that will
help you move forward with your career and your ability to take care of your
family. The latter should ensure your ability to get a good recommendation for
your next job.

~~~
ghopper
Well I had the conversation finally.

It unfortunately went pretty much as I expected.

The investors were completely understanding, thanked me for my hard work and
wished me well as they know its time for me to move on. For them, this showed
another point where the founder was unable to manage himself and the work
properly.

Hopefully we can all give the founder feedback (if he will take it without
being offended) on how to make the best use of his and our time working hard
as a team.

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mindhash
Been there. I wanted to leave but at the samd time felt like I was leaving my
partner in lurch. So I offered to stick around for a longer timeline of an
year. This gave me a feeling of doing the best I can. And helped me initiate
conversation.

You can choose a timeline that suits both sides.

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ckorhonen
Just been through something very similar recently - it’s tough, but if your
needs are not being met then you need to have that conversation - be as
straight as possible and try to plan for an orderly transition.

Are you a founder or an employee?

