
Ask HN: Learning to switch off - waldr
What do you guys do to try and switch off from your work? I am completely wired in. I never feel relaxed or refreshed, I can't concentrate on anything else (I've tried watching movies, reading, running etc).<p>Even on days where I've planned to recoup I wake up ultra early, read / respond to emails, check metrics / analytics, read posts in my pocket, scroll through twitter, browse HN .. it goes on.<p>Has anyone found some successful hacks to lose themselves for a few hours?
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CodeCube
I'm sure YMMV, but I'll relay one of the best bits of advice that I ever got.
My employer had a "health day" where they brought in some health professionals
and let all of us go and talk to them throughout the day (trainer,
chiropractor, psychiatrist, acupuncturist, etc).

The psychiatrist asked some basic questions about my family, my daily routine,
and I mentioned a very similar comment as the one that you've posed. He
suggested getting a small notebook that can fit in my pocket and a pen. When I
get on the train after work (live in NJ, work in NY), just take out the pad of
paper, and start writing, stream-of-conciousness, every single thing that's in
my head. From things that worry me, to things I want to do, problems I've had
at work, everything. And then once I'm done, tear out the piece of paper and
throw it away.

I was somewhat skeptical, but I gave it a shot ... and you know what? I do
find that when I do that I am very much more relaxed later on in the evening
when I get home. According to him, just the act of writing down your thoughts
helps your brain process them much better. Once you've gone through the act of
putting them on paper (I assume it'd probably work the same if you talked to
someone similarly) your brain doesn't have to sit there and churn on it. And
because you've thrown the piece of paper away you don't have to worry about
holding back in case someone else finds it and reads it at some point.

This gives me the headspace to do what I want when I get home, or on the
weekend ... whether that's to be with my family, or even work on side
projects. One minor note, I don't actually use a pen and paper. I simply open
a new word doc on my phone, type away, and then close the doc without saving.

Give it a shot :)

~~~
waldr
Hey - thanks this is awesome advice. I've tried it today and actually enjoyed
it. It's made it easier to get clarity on my thoughts and led to some useful
ideas

~~~
CodeCube
Glad you enjoyed it :) I was actually looking for this video back when I
posted this reply but couldn't find it. Just found it though ... this is a
great talk at Google by Chade-Meng Tan, I highly encourage you to give it a
watch: <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8fcqrNO7so>

In particular, the part about training for mindfulness has also been extremely
helpful for me. I'm really starting to believe his assertion that learning to
calm your mind can be trained. I tend to close my eyes and focus on breathing
while I'm on the train after I finish the stream-of-consciousness exercise
from above; this might sound silly, but I even notice that the muscles in my
face are more relaxed after I do these things :)

------
j45
Before getting into how to have an intervention, let's look at why:

0) It's totally possible to be super committed and working really hard hard in
your startup. It's up to you to realize that a lot of your effort likely isn't
getting you a productive return. Do work in batches.

1) Your technology exists to serve you, not the other way around.

2) The world and universe will not stop functioning without you.

3) There are very few problems in life that can't wait 1-2, if not 4 hours.

4) You are not always wired in, you are always distracted. It's why you're
tired, unfocused, likely unproductive.

5) Your goal is to learn to get some space so you can see the world with your
eyes instead of through a screen. It makes you balanced and produce better
software. Life is for living. Keyboard time is rarely living.

How:

1) Turn off everything. Go for a walk. Read a book. Notice that no one is as
important as they've hallucinated.

2) Breathe. Anything you miss will be forwarded to you or on your twitter feed
anyways.

3) Block everything in your hosts file and only use your smartphone to access
it. Every single site that isn't productive. Hacker News should be at the top
of it, including Google news or anything else that takes your time.

4) Turn off all notifications. No one is the center of the universe. My phone
has no IM, VM, Email, SMS, or APP notifications turned on. I run a consulting
business while I'm on call. Nothing has ever imploded. Some might be allowed
to make a quiet ticking noise, or use the haptic feedback.

5) The post about meditation is really good. Learn to take many thoughts down
to one, and one down to none.

~~~
waldr
I like the idea of no notifications, this also ties into to having a good
routine. Rather than checking and allowing noise to intrude.

~~~
j45
It's critical. I don't allow my senses to be bombarded by interruption.
Interruption is the enemy of productivity, after all.

I do have regular processes and routines to check those notifications, or
obviously check them when I'm expecting an intermittent reply.

The funny thing with being a younger entrepreneur is you put up with all sorts
of this BS either leading you to an early burn out, or start figuring out
there's a whole world out there to enjoy as much as startups.

I simply stopped looking at workaholics with personal lives in shambles as
role-models. I look for the uber successful that are successful in all areas
of their lives.

------
jfb
Grow up. No, that's not a pejorative, it's an observation. When I was younger,
I suffered from some of the symptoms you outline (although, omnipresence was
less of a problem in 1992 when I got started hacking for a living). As you get
older, you will notice that along with increased responsibility comes a
decreased ability to be spread so thinly, and you'll start picking your
battles better.

Until then, I have no useful advice.

~~~
waldr
I love the internet, so dearly. I understand your point although I think it's
less about picking battles and more forcing a cut off point - it's obviously
counter productive, but more obsessive behaviour.

------
elptacek
Do you have any hobbies where you make things with your hands? In particular,
something that would require your full focus and attention to complete (or to
simply not lose an appendage).

The activities I do (or have done) that leave me physically exhausted also
gave me a welcome mental break from the information addiction. Among those
sewing, welding (check your community college), gardening and currently,
roller derby and deadlifts. Other things to think about would be private
pilot's lessons (or skydiving), and climbing. I know people who code for a
living who have also learned to forge and smith metal, build furniture, fly
planes, and jump off stuff.

~~~
prawn
Beyond gardening, a larger landscaping project in the backyard. The sort of
thing that lasts a few weekends and leaves you dirty enough that you don't
want to traipse mud through the house to get a laptop or even touch your
phone.

I've been doing this for a few weekends - going out there in the morning and
(besides lunch) not coming back in until it's too dark to continue. Feels so
much more rewarding than anything I do in my regular work.

~~~
elptacek
This is very much what I meant to convey -- anyone this intense needs
something equally intense as a distraction. I swear it flips some kind of
switch in the brain.

------
pkghost
Do something that brings you into your body and out of your head. Dance,
music, exercise, meditation: all these practices encourage you to take your
attention away from explicit verbal thought and focus on your somatic
experience. It will be difficult at first: your mind is a muscle, and its
currently in the habit of listening to itself talk, but the more you practice
rooting your attention in your body and it's experience of the world (which is
far, far richer, by the way, than we're usually aware of, thanks to our
predisposition to thinking), the better your right hemisphere will be able to
inhibit your left, and your mental chatter will begin to quiet, allowing you
to be more fully present and focus on rejuvenating activities. (Don't worry --
when you go back to work, you'll be able to pick right back up where you left
off, only you'll be more energized and balanced.)

If you're into it, here's an (hour-long) intro to mindfulness by Jon Kabat-
Zinn, a well-known name in Western meditation circles (he basically rebranded
meditation as mindfulness to bring it into Western medicine):
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nwwKbM_vJc>

------
jvrossb
Plan a half or full day at a nearby park. Bonus points if you can hike or
canoe there. Pack a few lunches, grab a few friends, go hiking, canoeing,
ultimate frisbeeing, or just enjoy nature in good company. Have a picnic and
continue having a great time, or depending on where you are perhaps stroll on
down to a museum or other interesting spot.

2 rules -

1) for the duration of the excursion, nobody involved in allowed to bring
technology. Not even mobile phones. If you can't spend more than 4 hours
without your phone, then don't go out for more than 4 hours. You'll enjoy it
more than 6 hours out with your phone.

2) avoid talking about work, tech, startups, etc... if you have nothing left
to talk about, make a note to do something that will give you something to
talk about next time ('cause you're going to do this more than once, right?)
Read a book, follow non-tech news, see a great film, go to a museum, etc...

Also, no tech 1 hour before bed will do wonders for your productivity. You'll
fall asleep faster and sleep deeper without bright lights in your face just as
your body is trying to wind down.

------
allardschip
I had the same issues for a long time. Here are some things that worked for
me: \- Young children! They will tire you out to the point that you will
actually sleep. \- Doing what you like for a day job. Makes a big difference.
\- No screens for an hour or even two hours before you go to bed. Consider not
watching TV. I haven't seriously watched TV for years and am much happier for
it. \- Get obsessed with something outlandish or random. I am building
telescopes and gaze in to the depths of space. Gives me some perspective on
life on the small blue marble we're on.

------
mootothemax
For me, the best cure is take a weekend off somewhere - doesn't matter where,
whether friends, family or a weekend holiday - leave the laptop at home, turn
off data roaming on my phone, take a good book or two, and ignore the rest of
the world.

Come Monday, I'm usually pretty refreshed and looking forward to getting back
into things again.

Note: I do need to take a few "proper" holidays in the year, even if only a
week or so long, but without doing so I find I burn out until I become
thoroughly unproductive ;)

------
slaven
I know you've probably read that meditation helps, but you should really try
it. The key to meditation is observing your thought patterns, trying to slow
them down and eventually completely stop them on demand. This can be very
refreshing to your mood and motivation.

The practice eventually helps bring balance to your daily routine by training
your brain to turn off noisy/irrelevant thoughts when they become distracting.

~~~
pkghost
Seconded. I would suggest, however, that deliberately trying to stop thinking
is likely to backfire, much like the instruction "Don't think of an elephant"
backfires.

I like to describe the key to meditation as acceptance: whatever you become
aware of, be it a thought, a sound, or an itch, simply be aware of it without
judging it (or yourself), and then take your attention back to the object of
meditation, often the breath. If you do this patiently and diligently, your
thoughts will slow down of their accord, and you'll find yourself sinking
deeper and deeper into a state of quietude that we information workers are
nearly doomed to miss out on if we don't make a point of cultivating it.

------
vhf
Throw out your smartphone. Buy a real phone, one you can only call people and
receive calls with, as well as SMS.

It could change your life, believe me.

------
wallflower
Go to a park and bring a book that you wouldn't mind reading but not so good
that you'll sit there and read it all the time - just people watch and observe
your breathing. Oh and bring a phone - but the kicker here is have so little
juice on your phone (e.g. yellow low battery) that you can't just sit there
and 3G away your time

------
espeed
Are you doing the thing that's in the back of your mind, the thing that you're
always thinking about, or are you doing something else?

I had the same problem until I decided to act on the idea and thereby created
an outlet for it. Then I could sleep/relax without obsessing on it.

------
JoeLandman
Karate and exercise. Twice a week I help teach the kids class and attend the
adults class at my local dojo. Its all of 2km from my house, real easy. Friday
nights, if I am not burned out from an intense day at work, I'll do the
weapons class. Sat/Sun will be hitting the gym, with a decommissioned iphone,
acting as an ipod, with it in airplane mode. Other weeknights, its an hour on
the stationary bike, with an ipad usually watching a movie ... though
sometimes its Netflix.

I've come to really appreciate these down times.

Yeah, customers call, emails come in. But being able to put it aside and not
think about it allows my mind to clear up. And I am more productive for doing
so.

Of course, right now, its Monday morning at 1am EDT, so ...

------
dclowd9901
Get it out of your system. It's only going to last for a short while. Get
everything out that you can. Your mind is going for some reason, so why stop
it?

A lot of people here are going to argue it's unhealthy to be like that, but
after me and my wife split, I started filling an amazing amount of time with
work, and it honestly became very therapeutic. When I sat down in front of my
computer, I felt like I was going into my woodshop, creating, making beautiful
things.

It boosted my self esteem and gave me confidence I didn't have for a long
time. That's just one instance where it's not unhealthy to unleash and give
into that drive.

------
jasonmoo
I just went parasailing the other day, but I kept thinking "If I had brought
my laptop and tethered my phone I could push code from up here..."

I find the most relaxation comes from doing something that ties all my senses
up in a way I'm not used to. Like swimming, a really hot sauna/steam room/cold
pool, hitting the weights, going to a museum, taking a girl on a date, cooking
(I don't do it often so it's fairly immersive).

I tend to obsess about work so I find I need to take an active role in giving
myself these types of "breaks", otherwise I become unhappy.

------
dohertyjf
+1 on hobbies. I'll leave my phone and go for a bike ride, while planning to
meet up with friends afterwards. It's funny how when you say that you will
meet them somewhere, and also tell them that you won't have your phone on
them, you can make people commit to meeting you somewhere at a certain time.

I definitely recommend taking at least one full day off per week. You'll feel
so refreshed.

------
danielrhodes
Recouping is about changing your mental context. Disconnect by turning off
your phone and computer, then go outside and do something you haven't done
before. Try doing this for two or more days in a row. Anything with real face-
to-face human interaction where you don't discuss topics having to do with
work is a major bonus.

------
mukundmohan
The challenge is switch off completely takes a few days and I can rarely do it
in a few hours. So for a few hours of downtime, the best hack I found is to
talk to other folks about something totally different. On a recent trip I had
no phone, no computer etc. and felt totally relaxed after the 3rd day.

------
dholowiski
I've learned that switching off (for me) is more stressful than staying
connected. So on my time off/after hours, I just do whatever I think is fun.
That always includes checking my analytics, and usually twitter, facebook and
HN.

Maybe you're not feeling relaxed because you're switching off too much?

------
veyron
Legos.

It occupies my hands, my eyes, and my imagination.

I keep a bunch of police and robber sets on my desk so I can simulate the
bankers stealing from people's deposits in the bank and the regulators (in my
fantasy) hauling them to jail ... (referencing PFG Best, MF Global, and a slew
of similar circumstances)

------
bold
Riding my motor bike is the only way I was truly being able to 'switch off'.
It requires all you attention, there's no way you can pick up your cell, send
a message or 'check-in'. It's just the road, your bike and you. Absolute blast
for me!!

------
endlessvoid94
Force yourself into it. Go somewhere and don't take your phone with you.

Seriously, leave your phone at home, don't take a backpack, and jump on the
subway. Go to the mall, or a park, or just walk around town.

------
jackmcdade
My thoughts on the matter: <http://jackmcdade.com/asides/learning-to-switch-
off>

------
joshnh
For me, the best way to switch off, and the most rewarding, is to go cycling.
Not only is it great for my health, but it is impossible to stay connected.

------
stevedekorte
During work: when you notice you're stressed, relax your shoulders and
breathing for a minute or two.

After work: have a joint with some friends.

------
gte910h
Cruises. Go on a cruise ship with a kindle filled with fiction. Eat too much.
Dance. Watch Shows. Be unable to be connected.

------
myth_drannon
Take art classes. Your brain switches sides and lets the analytical part rest.

------
adotify
go get a job you dont care about & get drunk in the evenings instead of
thinking about customers/metrics/analytics.

or take a trip/pilgrimage to somewhere spiritual for guidance.. preferably in
the next 7 days.

------
FreshCode
Rock climbing.

~~~
mping
I second rock climbing. One thing that's great, specially at the beginning, is
that it plays with your survival instincts (everyone's afraid to fall and
die), so you really don't have time to think about work or whatever. Just give
it a try a couple of times, and then make your own judgement about it.

But you may also want to invest on something that cultivates your discipline.
If you have enough discipline, you can easily force yourself to cut off from
the internet, work or whatever so IMHO this is a fundamental step.

------
crawdog
Children.

