
Flat, marriage and family – Why young Indians don’t turn entrepreneurs - sunasra
http://abhinavsahai.com/flat-marriage-and-family-3-reasons-why-young-indians-dont-turn-entrepreneurs/
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chattoraj
I get what he's trying to say, but the rant is far too sophomoric.

> These relatives are probably the ones whose kids would have done “nothing”
> in their lives

The point could have been made without insulting their kids.

> One of my ex girlfriend had started talking about marriage barely when we
> had graduated ... Of course, she’s happily married and I, having failed 2
> startups in the past, am still building another startup! (I hope this post
> reaches you, lady!)

> In another relationship, [my girlfriend] asked “Abhinav, hum ghar kab
> lenge?” [Abhinav, when will we buy a home?] That day itself I knew – she
> wasn’t the one! No wonder that relationship didn’t last long.(I am quite
> sure you’re reading this!)

Nothing classier than getting on an internet soapbox to tell your exes they
were wrong.

> one such highly respected family member told me to look for a career in
> animation, back in 2007-08. Recently, I met him at another family gathering
> a few months back and he said “tum animation me kuch kyu nahi try karte?”
> [Why don't you try something in animation?] I was like…dude? You are still
> the same! Your thoughts are still stuck where they were 4-5 years back!

The author has, as of that moment, been involved in two failed startups and is
working on the third. The other guy, doubting the author's ability to win the
startup lottery, helpfully suggests a career in a rapidly-growing industry.

Author's response: Make fun of him for suggesting the same industry twice.
Wat.

~~~
prawks
Agreed, I'm disappointed this made the front page. It's more or less a rant on
people with different ideas than the author.

> graduated from some (worthless) A league institution in India and landed a
> fat paying job. And believe me these are absolutely good for nothing folks.
> If you are a startup guy, you already know that, don’t you ;)

I stopped reading after that, it reads like a YouTube comment.

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Mikeb85
There is such thing as having 'enough' in life. For many people, having a
mediocre job is OK if you can simply take care of your family, and have a
happy home life.

I for one, will never judge anyone who chooses happiness and life balance over
career success.

~~~
waps
+1

It's the people giving up all those things for a tiny chance at career success
that are the insane ones. Those 3 things are non-negotiable to me, and
frankly, don't prevent career success.

------
deepak56
To be fair, I don't think the author expected the rant to be critically
analyzed at HN. He probably just wanted to vent, share some anecdotes and move
on - won't be happening now.

Either way, what he said is not completely untrue. Obviously India has a very
family oriented culture. A lot of educated young people are first generation
educated, and thereby there are always expectations. Expectations, that are
not just limited to settling down but that also lean towards making people
risk averse. Times are changing, but the hangover of the days when people used
to join one company right after college (preferably a government job) and
retire after 40 years are still here.

Couple that with the fact that our higher education system is pretty much a
mess, with very little directly applicable skills taught. And you can see why
such questions are part & parcel of life if you have been out of college for
3-4 years.

Not all bad though, the big cities are seeing an enormous number of startup
events. I cover startups and have seen very passionate student startups coming
out of even Tier2/3 colleges and there are plenty of incubators/accelerators
around.

If you are a young aspiring entrepreneur, you will have far more complex
things to worry about than an occasional relative asking, "When are you
getting married"

------
r0h1n
Why do Indian devs feel compelled to blame their parents, families, wives,
society for everything?

Come on guys, this is 2013 and not 2005. There are tons of product startups in
Delhi/Bangalore/Pune/Chennai. If you don't find one that works for you, start
one on your own.

Sure India isn't the US or Israel. But neither is it the India of 10 years
back. _Carpe diem!_

~~~
krmmalik
I won't defend the quality of the article itself and rants are never a good
thing, but Westerners are never really going to understand how crippling
societal norms in the Indo-Pak region are.

Maturity has differing definitions in the East compared to the West and
personally I think it's a little unfair to make comparisons. What's considered
mature in the west can often be considered immature in the east. The youth
that belong to ethnic minorities in the west often under go major identity
crises, and takes them a very long time to come to terms with it.

Yes, we're in 2013 and there are great start-ups in India, but I'll be the
first to tell you these are still huge exceptions to the rule. Things are
starting to change, definitely and things are starting to move, but it's still
going to take time.

You cannot begin to imagine the pressure young easterners face from their
parents and their families to live to the ideals of their parents and extended
families. I live in the UK, I could give you over 20 examples of my own life
that held me back - Now i've learned to ignore those pressures and am taking
corrective action, but believe me it's not easy.

I could give you over a 100 examples of others. Even when living within the
West, ethnic minorities have huge pressures from the sub-culture.

It's never good to blame anything or anyone - that I agree with, but to
suggest that it's easy to overcome the cultural obstacles would be an unfair
statement.

~~~
r0h1n
I'm sorry but I don't agree. Cultural notions and societal pressures exist in
all cultures, and India is no different.

Yet in a world that is being "eaten by software", if young, educated and
ambitious software developers are bemoaning centuries-old practices for their
inability to take risks, the blame lies closer than they think.

If they can't handle the heat, they shouldn't be in the kitchen. Get a safe,
salaried job and shut up. Else cope with it. Society isn't going to change
overnight, so stop moaning about it.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I'm been seeing more than a few of these whiny
posts on HN lately.

~~~
priyaranjan
IMO author isn't blaming anyone here. He has failed in 2 startups and riding
the 3rd one, so he pretty much seems to be trying than just complaining. He is
sharing his opinion about society with a catchy title (which isn't the only
take away) and should be valued.

~~~
r0h1n
> Flat, marriage and family – 3 reasons why young Indians don’t turn
> entrepreneurs!

Um, the whole point of the post is to _blame_ those three reasons - all
external, societal or environmental - for personal decisions that educated and
young programmers don't make.

------
true_religion
I long for the days, long past gone, when people waited to be successful in
their endeavors before stepping up onto a soap box to tell us why everyone is
wrong for not embracing the same lifestyle as them.

------
Tyrannosaurs
I'm not sure that this is specific to India - I think there's an obvious
incompatibility between taking on financial responsibility for others and the
level of risk inherent in start-ups.

The difference may just be that Indian's marry younger so it kicks in earlier.

------
ismail
saying that marriage and kids discourages entrepreneurship, is not entirely
correct. think it depends on the person, yes your risk profile changes once
you are married, and some would be discouraged. not all will be, I quit my job
for a startup with a 1 year old daughter. Granted I had saved up to last me 6
months though its not enough.

The challenge however is when your wife has a different risk profile, 3 months
in of living on the bare minimum, eating noodles/beans everyday she may
convince you to get a real job. The challenges faced my married entrepreneurs
are different, you have to manage the expectations and sell them on the dream.
If your partner is not sold, it can cause probs in the marriage.

Also it can be a serious motivator, you will do anything hustle your way to
makr sure you can at least eat and pay the rent.

~~~
Tyrannosaurs
Certainly if you're going to enter into this sort of venture when you're
married with a young family, it's a decision you need to make as a family
rather than make yourself and try to impose on them.

Other than the capacity for risk and relative poverty elements, two other
things I'd throw out there as factors are:

1) Exhaustion: I've two young children and the first few years of their lives
I was exhausted most of the time and I know that I wasn't at my best
professionally (lack of sleep makes you stupid and forgetful). It really isn't
the best state to be risking everything on your own abilities.

2) Balancing work and life: If you're going to have kids you probably want
(that's genuinely want rather than feel obliged) to spend time with them. It's
different to a lot of other things you might want to do with your time in that
there are things you can't say "I'll do later in life". They grow up
incredibly quickly in those early years and it's not something you get a
second shot at experiencing - you can't go back and see your infant child five
years down the line when your business is settled.

And that's before the practicalities of child care and everything else that
goes with it...

------
okpatil
I couldn't agree more. Dude, I am going through the same. Here is my solution.
Flat := I am not buying one. Life-long-renting rocks. Marriage := No marriage
till my business settles. Family := My parents understand what I am doing. And
I don't give a shit about anyone else.

------
fab101
Most of it is true.

I would want to add that our education system does not support/encourage a
start-up/business/creative mindset.

Even today, most of the bachelors degree courses are oriented towards teaching
for and endorsing high grades (just to qualify for jobs and PG entrance exams)
rather than developing critical thinking.

------
anuraj
A bit immature, shall I say? Everybody finds their own mojo in life, for some
it is entrepreneurship. You will not be successful just by being in a
profession, you have to be outstanding in that profession. Understand and
appreciate other's choices. Entrepreneurship needs some wisdom too.

~~~
cowls
Yes, very immature.

"Of course, she’s happily married and I, having failed 2 startups in the past,
am still building another startup! (I hope this post reaches you, lady!)"

erm, what?

------
nmudgal
Poor author wouldn't have heard of HN if this post had not made it here. :P

------
dbg31415
Flat, marriage, and family. That's 3 reasons.

Flat, marriage and family. That's 2 reasons.

~~~
caw
It's called the "serial" comma, or "Oxford" comma.
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serial_comma](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serial_comma)

Some style guides promote use of it, some do not.

