
World suicide prevention day: 'Could I have stopped my dad killing himself?' - pmoriarty
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-54088546
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kop316
"In my father's case, the loss of his 45-year marriage partner, whom he had
cared for devotedly in her final years, left him struggling. His retirement
had not brought the contentment it had promised, and no number of visits from
his children could dispel his loneliness. He had little in the way of a social
circle - another factor that differentiates older men from women, who tend to
be better socially connected."

This actually hits really close to home with my own Grandmother. She lived 11
years longer than my granddad, but she never was truly the same after he
passed away. My mother (her daughter) and their siblings did all they could to
help, but all of her kids were spread throughout the US (due to most being
pretty successful people). She also didn't have much of a social circle until
she went into assisted living, which I actually think was really good for her.
She was able to meet folks and socialize, and they forced her to go out and do
things. But I don't think it did too much to help her loneliness from losing
my grandad. She didn't die from suicide, but I think at one point she just
lost the will to live, which I think that finally took her.

I don't have answer to that. I also think about it with my own mom and dad.
She is bound to lose her husband (or he her) within the next few decades, and
I don't want to see her have the same downward spiral I saw in my grandma.

~~~
finaliteration
> _His retirement had not brought the contentment it had promised, and no
> number of visits from his children could dispel his loneliness. He had
> little in the way of a social circle_

This is actually a concern of mine regarding retirement and part of the reason
I tell people that I will likely never retire. A large number of my social
interactions are through work, and I feel if I didn’t have something
“productive” to do I would be pretty listless and depressed.

I get wanting to enjoy leisure time and hobbies, etc, but there is something
rewarding about doing work that you enjoy that is different for me.

------
benatkin
Happy World Suicide Prevention Day.

I've learned it's best not to assume why someone took their own life, because
chances are I'll be wrong. In the case of Chris Cornell, if I hadn't assumed I
wouldn't have even had to know, but it helped for me to search and find out
that he had a very severe physical pain problem that was treated,
understandably, with prescription drugs that carried risks. It doesn't seem
his mental strength was much of a factor in his death by suicide. Now I can
enjoy his music more.

While I haven't got to the bottom of some other suicidal behavior that I've
been affected by, I've started to see it as extreme pain and lack of
sufficient means to deal with the pain. Every situation is tragic, and most
who survive a suicide attempt are glad they survived, and 9 out of 10 will not
die by suicide at a later date. [https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-
matter/means-matter/survi...](https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/means-
matter/survival/) Suicide prevention is about providing help, not interfering
with someone's wishes. When someone makes it through to the next day, that's
another opportunity for them and others to build up resources to deal with
whatever it is they're struggling with.

Please be careful talking about suicide. The phrase "died by suicide" doesn't
bring assumptions into it like some other phrases do.

Finally, here's a good article about it that addresses both grief and what
it's like to be suicidal: [https://tim.blog/2015/05/06/how-to-commit-
suicide/](https://tim.blog/2015/05/06/how-to-commit-suicide/)

------
s1artibartfast
Interesting article. It is worth noting that in the UK statistics, suicide is
lumped in with poisoning of undetermined intent, so when they say "suicide is
the leading cause of death <50" they are including drug overdoses. [1]

This actually helps explain why "unintentional injury" is the leading cause of
death in the US under 45, followed by suicide. In the US poisoning, and thus
drug overdose falls under unintentional injury.

I suspect there is no way to get clean statistics separating accidental
overdoses from intentional ones. I personally feel that drug overdose and
suicide are most appropriately grouped together, as they tend to have similar
causes.

[1]
[https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsde...](https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/deathsregistrationsummarytables/2019)

[2][https://webappa.cdc.gov/sasweb/ncipc/leadcause.html](https://webappa.cdc.gov/sasweb/ncipc/leadcause.html)

------
zatel
I stand by my view that anyone should have right to kill themselves.

I would be very sad if someone close to me did so but that shouldn't stop them
from doing it. I consider this a basic freedom of being a living creature. If
you don't have the power to end your life then do you really own it?

~~~
GhostVII
It's pretty much impossible to take away that freedom, killing yourself is not
particularly difficult. The more interesting question is whether someone else
should be able to kill you, if they think it is what you want.

And I think suicide prevention is still very important, since many people who
attempt to commit suicide regret it afterwards.

~~~
thijsvandien
The problem isn't ending one's own life, but doing so with dignity, in an
orderly fashion. How not to leave a mess behind? That takes solid preparation,
which is difficult given the massive social stigma. Wouldn't it be nice if one
didn't need an "excuse", like a terrible disease, to be allowed an uneventful
exit? I'd find it a liberating idea if such a thing were normalized. Parties
are more enjoyable when you can leave any time you like. Let me stay just
because I want to, without worries what will happen should I change my mind.

