
NPM creator: “Not having children is a form of privilege” - albedoa
https://twitter.com/izs/status/1276424491048947712
======
throowavay
The guy tried to express all the problems we - parents - have in the modern
("startup") ecosystem, and then he gets bashed because there are people who
can't have kids. That's not the point. I'm the only parent in a 10 person
startup and I'm constantly looked at like I'm the person slacking off, because
I randomly have to go take care of my baby. Our 9am standup is a joke, with
everyone groggy and still in their pajamas trying to wake up, while I was
already up at 5 answering email, because I know the baby will get up at 6 and
want to play. I respond to Slack and email at 11pm because that's the only
time in the day I can sit and focus on what I need to write. And all of this
doesn't matter, because nobody else has kids and they don't get it.

~~~
albedoa
Hey Isaac.

------
brodouevencode
I’ve always felt the opposite. Having children is a privilege. That’s not to
say that just to get on a high horse about it, it’s something my SO and I have
talked at length about (we have two, and because of medical complications
cannot have more) and we’ve both come to the conclusion that children are a
gift from God. Obviously our religion has a lot to do with the perspective
that having them are a privilege.

It’s only within the last few years that the having children is considered a
problem. I think there’s probably a direct causation there with the decline of
the Judeo-Christian religions overall.

------
wcerfgba
I think it's important to point out that unlike other forms of social
privilege which are usually discussed -- white privilege, male privilege, cis
privilege, ... -- childless privilege is not usually an element of one's
facticity, i.e. one does not choose to be black, female, or trans, but for
many people, having children is a choice.

Of course, not all people are able to conceive children, and not everyone who
bears children does so consensually. And of course, just because someone's
choice imposes a burden on their lives and relationships with other people, it
doesn't mean that others should not be compassionate towards that person. I do
not have children but one of my colleagues does, and I am very happy to make
concessions for that as needed, I just consider that an issue of being
flexible and treating other people decently, not an issue of privilege per se.

Side note: almost everyone I talk to who want kids defaults to wanting to
conceive their own children, instead of adopting. I would argue that adoption
is a greater net positive that conceiving new children because it does not
increase the population count (which has net negative effects ecologically)
and it is providing parents to a child which would otherwise have none. I
think I would also find adopting more personally rewarding as well, for those
reasons. I wonder why other people do not seem to consider the option as well:
is it not heavily promoted enough, or is the appeal of propagating one's genes
just so appealing?

------
surfallday
[https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/15/upshot/why-americans-
resi...](https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/15/upshot/why-americans-resist-child-
care.html)

“The country has been so traditional in the persistence of the idea that women
did not belong in the work force,” Ms. Michel said, “but the idea that poor
women, especially black women, should work has persisted.”

[https://www.elle.com/culture/career-
politics/a27496656/3-wom...](https://www.elle.com/culture/career-
politics/a27496656/3-women-on-what-its-actually-like-to-have-universal-
childcare/)

------
benologist
Pets are closer to a slave than a child, they have no ability to ask or demand
things of you and they get only what you choose to offer them. You can ignore
every single need a pet has and just put them in a bag and carry them around
like an inanimate object that can never protest your actions, and throw the
bag in a river if you get tired of carrying it. You can have them killed or
sell them or abandon them at your discretion. Children are only raised like
this in the most unfortunate circumstances.

~~~
sfgweilr4f
"You can ignore every single need a pet has and just put them in a bag"

No, you actually can't.

You can only do this if you switch off massive sections of the common brain
modules for "reasonable functioning human". For those who think these are
optional modules, please lock them in working RAM now. You might then
understand why they are NOT optional.

YMMV

~~~
benologist
I'm not advocating treating any living thing that way, but society is
absolutely okay with it. You can do this with children too but as they grow
they will demand you stop and they won't sit complacently while you lunch or
work or commute.

[https://www.amazon.com/s?k=pet+dog+sling](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=pet+dog+sling)

[https://www.amazon.com/s?k=cat+bag](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=cat+bag)

------
chb
"...and the ongoing survival of civilization as we know it literally depends
on them continuing to do that grueling job." Wow, there are so many things
wrong with this line of thought and sentiment.

Time to switch to yarn!

