

The most effective debt collecting email I ever wrote - mixmax
http://forabeautifulweb.com/blog/about/the_most_effective_debt_collecting_email_i_ever_wrote/

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wallflower
A lot of arguments can be avoided by delving into the scary but true, raw but
honest emotional side. I learned this from a great consultation.

Take this example interaction:

Husband: "There's $500 missing from our checking account."

Husband (unemotionally-oriented, bad): "What did you spend it on?"

Husband (Good): "I'm worried about where the $500 went."

Always tell people how you feel. Human beings have emotions. Constantly tell
people how you feel. Human beings have emotions. That is how people connect
with each other. For example, for guys talking about sports, it really is
sharing emotions - hope, frustration, anger, etc. Talking about that new trade
may really be about hope/optimism/reflection.

~~~
nuclear_eclipse
What husband gives their wife access to the checking account? That's just
_begging_ for missing money... ;)

EDIT: I think people missed the sarcasm...

~~~
jrockway
I thought it was pretty standard for accounts to be joint. If you can't trust
your wife with a bank account, why did you marry her!?

~~~
astrec
In my parents time perhaps, but not in my experience. Not one of my circle of
married friends have such an arrangement. As for my marriage, we own our own
properties, cars, share portfolios, other investments, and maintain separate
bank accounts. We throw a set amount into a kitty each month for living
expenses, but everything else is by negotiation.

Why? Probably because the average age for a bride is now 29 and a groom 31. At
this point you've spent a decade in the workforce and have achieved a certain
degree of independence. This kind of arrangement reflects that. For us there
was never any question.

~~~
whatusername
"everything else is by negotiation" could either mean: we functionally share
our finances - but for tax/legal/convenience reasons we choose to keep
seperate accounts...

My experience is the opposite - generally the major part of finances are
shared and there are small accounts on the side.. (things like cars etc are
usually "owned" by a single person - but that's more of a convenience)

~~~
astrec
_we functionally share our finances..._

I've definitely got one mate like that, but plenty of others are the opposite.
Sounds like we're probably not representative of the bulk of married couples
though.

In our case, by negotiation really does mean by negotiation: XX wants a new
couch. XX either convinces XY a new couch is a great idea and we split it, or
XX buys the couch. Works the same way when XY wants to concrete the carport.

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inovica
Interesting as it introduces the emotional side into it and re-inforces that
the person believes the relationship to be something of value. I often find
that the people who owe me money are the closest to me - they ignore the small
charges that I had passed to them, or they forget them. I don't think its
malicious, but there must be something in peoples psyche that makes them think
you've done a favour. What I have now are set rates where I might discount
slightly for friends, but not substantially. I also try not to take on jobs
that are too small now.

I've also always found that lawyers can often exacerbate a situation. Take
divorce for example - I know a few people who seemed to be having a relatively
amicable divorce until the lawyers were brought in. I myself used to be quite
litigious but these days I feel that I should have been more careful at the
start and often put things down to experience and move on.

~~~
chris11
And it manages to get emotional without personal attacks and judging their
values. That lets the people change their behavior without admitting to
themselves that the situation might have been caused by a personal defect,
which means one less barrier to payment.

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sheats
This is a very refreshing approach. In a day where lawyers, contracts, and
debt collectors are so prevalent, it is nice to see that respect and honesty
still work. Used to be that a handshake was enough -- now a legal contract
isn't even guaranteed to work.

I would suspect if one is willing to honestly and openly communicate with your
customers when conflicts come up, instead of hiding behind lawyers, the
results would be much better.

~~~
mixmax
I read quite a lot of business biographies, and I have noticed that a lot of
really successful entrepreneurs go on trust and handshakes. If they're burned
they will remember and never do business with you again, but if they meet
someone that believes in them at an early stage they will go through a lot to
keep doing business with them.

I just read a biography of a guy that started a chain of stores 30 years ago,
and has a huge empire of more than 500 stores today. He still has the same
small bank that he did 30 years ago because they were the only ones that
believed in him at the time. He recently invested in the bank since they
needed to become bigger to keep his growing business.

It's all about trust for these people.

~~~
gojomo
Indeed. There's also the pattern, first anecdotal but since confirmed by at
least one survey [+], that a disproportionate number of entrepreneurs are
dyslexic, and thus have to rely on verbal communication and gut trust more
than others.

[+]
[http://www.cass.city.ac.uk/media/stories/story_8_45816_44300...](http://www.cass.city.ac.uk/media/stories/story_8_45816_44300.html)

~~~
mixmax
That is a really eye-opening and interesting study.

I took the liberty of submitting it, since I'm sure other people will
appreciate it. Hope you don't mind.

<http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=462767>

~~~
gojomo
Not at all! Stories/ideas/memes aren't owned.

Though, it's a duplicate:

<http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=86875>

<http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=87148>

<http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=91738>

<http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=87549>

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pj
As clients and vendors we rely on each other for survival. If the vendor
provides value, but goes out of business because of late payments, the clients
relying on that vendor are going to be worse off too.

Pay your bills. Give money for good value. Give good value.

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dabeeeenster
The best medium for debt collection is the telephone, not the computer.

~~~
skmurphy
I agree. A calm call asking them when you can expect payment can work wonders.
See also Len Sklar's "The Check is NOT in the Mail" for how to manage
collection starting with your credit policy. [http://www.amazon.com/Check-Not-
Mail-Without-Customers/dp/09...](http://www.amazon.com/Check-Not-Mail-Without-
Customers/dp/0962483354/)

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jcl
There's something vaguely ironic about summarizing your heartfelt emotions in
a form letter.

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lallysingh
Ouch. It sounds like something a mom would use to guilt their kid.

".. I spent 36 hours in labor for you, and this is how you treat me!!"

