
Ask HN: I failed a lot, what should I do? - lemaudit
I somehow got in to a top 5 CS program.
I got D&#x27;s in a lot of classes because they didn&#x27;t want to give me F&#x27;s.
It was very hard following lectures and reading and understanding test questions.
I graduated about a year ago.
I did interviews and each one I got I was mercilessly shot down with tough CS questions.
I got a job in sales, I was fired for paperwork errors.
I am now unemployed, occasionally making web sites for people.
It turns out my doctor says I probably have ADHD and I have been working with him on getting this diagnosed correctly but it takes time and I am already on medication, I don&#x27;t want more.
I can&#x27;t get to grad school, I am having a hard time finding a job. I don&#x27;t know what to do, I narrowed it down to either 
1) going back to school for another degree taking on more loans to improve grades
2) trying my hand at a startup but I have about $1000 in my bank account and no ideas.
3) Looking for a job that requires a degree and no skills like selling insurance or loans at a bank but I am worried about being bored and prefer computers.
I don&#x27;t know what to do next, I live with my parents and they don&#x27;t care what I do so long as I leave. My confidence in myself has been completely destroyed by all of this.
======
tptacek
What's an example of a tough CS question? Maybe you're getting shot down
because the interviews you've been getting are unreasonable, or maybe you're
getting shot down because there's a real deficit, at which point you'd need to
make a decision between a career in software or something else. Both are
equally plausible scenarios.

There's nothing intrinsically meaningful about your CS grades, so let's not
interrogate those.

You're too young to have anything "completely destroyed" by a GPA and a couple
bad interviews.

~~~
lemaudit
Well I was asked to parallelize a loop where it was totally unobvious in one
interview something like a sum of elements in an array where elements are
replaced by the sum of elements from the previous elements(they didnt even
shake my hand they just showed me the door silently), in another I had 30
minutes to design an algo that outputs from a matrix it's spiral in C(I think
I know how to do this now but I couldn't solve it and program it there under
pressure in 30 minutes and my solution is ugly), in another I had to use a
semaphore to make a loop that increments up to some number and I didn't know
what a semaphore was, I had to find if a linked list was looping, I had to
write a code that deletes duplicate elements from a linked list and puts them
in to a new sorted list in 30 minutes, the financial engineering jobs required
the transcript so they didn't work out. I think I like CS and blame a lack of
attention or preparedness for the grades. Maybe I am deluding myself though
and need to move on.

~~~
tptacek
You need more practice coding, because it doesn't look like you got a strong
intuitive grasp for it from school. Those aren't great interview questions,
but they're not serious CS problems either.

Also, you should definitely know what a semaphore is. Write some threaded
Python code to get a feel for concurrency.

------
copperkid
I'm in the exact same position, except I'm waiting for results to come out
this week to officially confirm that I've failed my degree. It's unfair to
think that I've only started getting all interested in computer stuff right
after my final exams. Before that, my best effort was pulling allnighters and
scraping middle-marks in everything. My morale was super low until I decided
to shift my procrastination from the Daily Mail to places like this. I then
started to read articles on how to be happy and how to be self-sufficient and
blah blah, and amazingly I feel quite encouraged by it. I then reached the
milestone of "Mebbe programming isn't so bad after all" and now I'm looking at
Ruby4Kids. I know your level's not as low as this, but I think it really helps
to stop thinking about the future and just take baby steps in any direction
you feel like doing. I'm not even bothering to fill in graduate job
application forms because of the stupid computer-filtering thing that
guarantees of my rejection anyway, but my 'plan' for the future is just keep
crawling with my 'self-education' and keep eyes and ears open for ANY
opportunities. As crap as the situation looks like now, I don't believe at all
that I'm ungifted and because I'm not like the others chasing grades and stuff
[tries to look smug] I think I've got qualities that most others don't. And
failures aren't bad at all, in fact it can be a USP.

And don't think of the future too much! Opportunities are always everywhere,
guaranteed :) (now need to repeat all this to myself)

~~~
quackerhacker
_I decided to shift my procrastination from the Daily Mail to places like
this_

Careful, HN is drug to many of us coders, proof is in the account settings
with the maxvistis and mintimeaway settings.

~~~
copperkid
1) Coder? I said I'm looking at Ruby4kids!! 2) Anyway too late, I've just
found out the 'new' link at the top, now I keep having to refresh the site
every 5 mins xS

------
rdouble
Where do you live? There's a lot of "digital agency" type work that is good
for someone with ADHD. But it's all in LA or NYC.

edit: also there's always QA

~~~
vijayr
By digital agency, do you mean web dev shops?

~~~
rdouble
Places like r/ga, instrument, canvas, huge, etc.

Usually marketing/advertising oriented. Make promo sites, web games, iOS apps,
facebook campaigns, etc.

~~~
vijayr
oh okay, thanks. how would you advice him to approach such companies, as he
probably doesn't have a portfolio yet, plus he is new to web dev?

~~~
rdouble
I guess just try applying for an entry level job. Many of those places are
desperate and will hire anyone.

~~~
vijayr
Thanks, this sounds interesting. At least, the work in these shops might be a
bit more interesting than pure corporate places. Worth giving it a shot.

------
Inception
I would suggest finding an employment opportunity that is in an area that you
are passionate about. Figure out the requirements and do some reading and/or
small projects that use the skills you will need in the position and apply
when you are ready.

There is a huge difference between classroom learning and independent
learning. You absorb the information at a lot higher rate when you are
passionate about what you are learning about.

~~~
noahc
I would suggest finding ANY employment opportunity. You can always leave if
your resume later. Your resume isn't a chronological list of everything you've
done. It's a narrative about your greatest hits.

------
monkeyspaw
First, take a deep breath. You're going to be OK, even if it doesn't feel like
it right now.

Next, take a look at today's Zen Habits --
[http://zenhabits.net/failed/](http://zenhabits.net/failed/). It can help you
set perspective regarding what you've gone through. Money quote: "Someone once
said there isn’t failure, only feedback. That means the failure is just a
point of information, a part of the learning process. I like to say, it’s not
a failure of me as a person, just a failure of my method. Which means I need
to change my method."

Take some time (minutes, hours, or days) to identify the intersection of what
you like and what you've excelled at. I find I like what I'm good at, so
beware that bias.

Are you good at translating tech -> normal people speak? Possibly look to work
in consulting.

Were you good at making sales, but bad at the paperwork? Try to develop your
own system to get better at the paperwork.

Try to look objectively (meaning without judgement) at your past. What have
you learned from your experience? I can promise you, you're not the first
person to barely pass a tough CS program, nor will you be the last to get
fired for sloppy paperwork. You'll be OK -- in fact, now is the perfect time
for you to take your first step in your new direction.

If you need a job right away, I would suggest trying to get a position in any
industry that will pay you. Learn the ropes in that industry for a little time
while you get stability. You will be a technical wizard in whatever you do, if
it involves technology. Once you learn an industry, and gain a little
confidence in your capabilities, take a shot at combining your technical
abilities with the industry.

Manufacturing, as a for example, relies entirely on technology that is run by
people who have very little idea about how to use technology.

And relax. You have a world of options in front of you; they're hard to see
because of all the pressure, but they exist.

Be well, monkeyspaw

------
avifreedman
My suggestion is to hack. If you can't do that you won't be happy in the
field. If you can, all you needed from the CS education was a guide to
googling math in the future.

If you can find things that need implementing them and do it and they're
useful, work will come.

When interviewing for a job, showing that you can:

\- identify problem spaces \- review the tools \- find a need for a better
tool \- spec \- and implement it

Is what I look for when hiring geeks.

So my recommendation...

Find problems, build solutions (even if small and tool-like), get out and
socialize at meetups and geek fora in your city and confidence should come.

------
quackerhacker
My suggestion seeing as you have webdev experience...what is your passion?
Follow that. I'm hoping you have a site in mind, or a project that has been
sitting on the back burner...code like crazy and shoot for the stars!

Realize one thing, you are your biggest investor, if you don't invest in your
self (the time in your own passion), then no one else will.

Not to appear overly optimistic, but there is alot of money and opportunity
out there...put your name on it.

------
atsaloli
What do you like to do? What makes you feel alive and happy? Is there any way
you could do more of that or something like it and get paid for it?

------
factorialboy
Try hard, don't worry about results, stop thinking. :)

------
waqasx
can you link ur cv, portfolio, anything?

~~~
lemaudit
[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1av8zfzjw5l4-HQSmKE2s3Sud...](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1av8zfzjw5l4-HQSmKE2s3Sudun5E3ky_1U9TPo8x6Y0/edit?usp=sharing)

If this ^ link works, I excluded the sales portion. My cv is a bit
embellished, the courses I barely passed were algorithms, real analysis, graph
theory, number theory, and a statistics class. I couldn't follow the teacher's
talking and reading was difficult. I have talked with several hedge funds in
my area who shot me down, a couple startups who shot me down, and microsoft.
The gpa was looked at, algorithms was the most crucial thing I missed.

~~~
lemaudit
I made it no longer public if anyone reads this, it was probably a stupid idea
broadcasting who I was publicly in this context because that is a sure way of
shooting yourself in the foot in case an employer didn't ask about the
specifics.

