
Ask HN: Has anyone taken opportunity of parental leave to learn new skills? - markus_zhang
I have a 5 week parental leave coming up in my schedulr later this year. For parents on HN: did you manage to learn new skills (other than taking care of the baby), and how did you manage to get the time needed?<p>Thanks in advance.
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ggrrhh_ta
It's hard to believe, I know, but in two years, those 5 weeks will look like
they did not have any influence at all in your long term productivity or what
you could have achieved. After some time, you will realize that the perceived
less amount of time allows you to do more, and more efficiently. than people
that actually have all the time of the world in their hands.

You maybe could learn a skill while the kid is sleeping; but the irregular
patterns and not-so-long periods of quiet sleep would better be used to do
stuff you necessarily need to do (bills, paperwork, household tasks, grocery
shopping, little repairs, making place in the cupboards, perhaps installing
some furniture, etc.).

Usually given total undivided attention without rush to the baby leads to much
easier and faster resolution; for example, when trying to feed, or sleep time,
30/55 minutes taking care that the kid feels well, that temperature is good
(if it is to hot, for example, gently moving a towel), providing entertainment
flying some toy and engaging them, quietly singing, etc. will lead to less
time overall than trying to rush in 10 minutes and find yourself an hour later
with a very tired baby that will sleep out of sheer exhaustion.

Best of luck and think that 5 weeks will look like nothing in the future.
Think that if you had removed one year of your education in the past, quite
probably, things would not have been so different anyway.

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markus_zhang
Thanks! Yeah it's probably nothing in the long term even without the baby. I
guess I'm just a bit over anxious about not learning anything new.

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ggrrhh_ta
I used to wonder myself: how is it possible that the world hasn't been taken
over by single people without kids? Well, then I realized that I never also
did before having kids :-D - There will be very hard times (for months and
months) but you'll grow into them and they'll look fine when you look back. In
my case, detachment from social networks (e.g. shutting down with no
possibility of going back) really increased my time to be with the baby and
focus to do what I had to do when I could. Leaving the phone&computer in
another room when doing most tasks and when sleeping (to prevent me from those
10 seconds that are half an hour of wasted sleep or time), also helped... All
best!

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byoung2
When my daughter was born I spent every hour either caring for her or for my
wife. I couldn't imagine doing anything else on top of that. Diaper changes
and feeding every 2 hours for the first 4-6 months at least.

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markus_zhang
Thanks man. Geez that's tough...yeah I asked the wrong question :(

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gus_massa
First time? Congratulation! Sleep now, because the next 18 years are hard.

As other commentators said, you will get a very irregular sleep schedule.
Essentially while the baby is sleeping. Luckily they sleep a lot, but while
they are not sleeping they will require a lot of attention, and while they are
sleeping you must do a lot of small task related to the baby or yous enjoy
half an hour doing nothing.

You can try to learn something, it is not impossible, but it's hard.

~~~
markus_zhang
Thanks. Yeah first time and guess I'm greatly underestimating the energy
required to take care of a new born.

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laumars
I was so tired I barely managed to cook for myself. The only new skills you’ll
likely to learn is new ways of coping with extreme tiredness (and no, a
misspent youth partying still doesn’t prepare you for the tiredness of
parenthood). You’re better off finding a TV box set you can half watch while
feeding the baby rather than trying to engage your brain.

Enjoy parenthood. It is also the most rewarding job you’ll ever have.

~~~
markus_zhang
Thanks. This is a bit terrifying...and that's just the beginning.

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laumars
The best advice anyone can give you is to take everyone else’s parenting
advice with a pinch of salt and find what works for your family.

I don’t just mean advice you read on HN, but any and all advice. Advice from
friends and from your extended family. Even advice from your health care
workers. Every baby is different and what works for one child wouldn’t work
for another. So by all means listen to suggestions people might make but don’t
stress if you end up doing things completely differently. As long as you show
the child love the rest is just an implementation detail.

~~~
hdjdbtbgwjsn
The only parenting experts have just one child.

When they get their second they realise that all children are different.

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hdjdbtbgwjsn
Yep I learned the skills of how to take better care of my children! It
improved my bond with them massively. Use the leave for that. It's what it's
for. If you waste it 'learning' you won't get it back.

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markus_zhang
Thanks. I read the other comments and apparently I need to concentrate on
taking care of the baby.

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Thin_icE
Parental leave is for taking care of your baby. You'll be lucky if you manage
to do anything else during the first month.

~~~
markus_zhang
Thanks. Read the other comments and get the gist...

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pinewurst
I taught myself how to play guitar and mandolin but my parental leave was 5ish
years.

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markus_zhang
Thanks. Wow five years is a lot of time...

