
How An Introvert Learned To Be A Leader - ryanb
http://blog.tutorspree.com/post/52801371505/how-an-introvert-learned-to-be-a-leader
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silverbax88
I would prefer articles like this were titled 'How Timid People Can Learn to
be Leaders'.

I think the author means well, and perhaps this is valid for a certain type of
introvert, but these types of articles bother me. I'm an introvert and I have
no problem with public speaking, I run my own company and I've been a manager
over various teams and project, both large and small.

There is more than one definition of introvert - for me it's the one "A person
predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with
external things." If anything, I'm self-centered and self-absorbed, but I am
certainly not bashful. I've had it described to me as this: extroverts work
out solutions by talking, introverts work out solutions thinking.

Meaning, I think internally, I mull over things in order to get them straight
in my head, and I can work for days without speaking to a soul. But I am not
shy, bashful or even remotely timid. I think people who use the 'I can't
engage because I'm an introvert' would be better served by admitting they are
shy and work on that. There is nothing wrong with having an introvert or
extrovert mindset, and we need both in the world, but always equating
introversion with bashfulness is a mistake in my eyes.

~~~
dbla
Aren't those some of the exact same points that the author was making?

"People think that being an extrovert means that you like being around people,
and therefore an introvert “ doesn’t like people,” but that’s not true.
There’s just no way I would have chosen to spend my life working with college
students if I didn’t like people!

People also tend to think that introverts have a fear of public speaking, but
that’s also a fallacy."

~~~
saraid216
> "People also tend to think that introverts have a fear of public speaking,
> but that’s also a fallacy."

I just what no. "Fallacy" is not a fancy word for "wrong".

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city41
As an introvert I really enjoy articles like this. This world really considers
us inferior in many ways, and it's easy to let that get to you. Seeing other
introverts speaking out and thinking to myself "yeah! that's me!" is very
refreshing.

~~~
mlwarren
Quiet: The Power of Introverts really opened my eyes to the fact that other
people feel the way I do and that it's alright to be "introverted". I highly
recommend it if you haven't read it and this type of subject matter is
enjoyable for you.

(non-affil link) [http://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-
Talking/d...](http://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-
Talking/dp/0307352153)

~~~
MartinCron
I came here to recommend the same book, so I'll just second your
recommendation. The writing is sometimes a little too cute for its own good,
but it's an excellent read.

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mathattack
Very good points. Listening is a HUGE part of leadership. It's very easy to
fall into the charisma trap, but speaking is just a small part of the overall
leadership puzzle. It's much easier to learn, think, and get the pulse of an
organization when you're not the one doing the talking.

~~~
INTPenis
I came here to comment on the listening part, so I'll comment to you since you
mentioned it.

The article says that being a good listener is an innate trait of being
introvert. I must disagree. Something that is often considered innate in
introverts is being self absorbed and self centered.

Introverts can stay quiet, that does not mean they're listening or that they
care about what you're saying.

A good exercise imo to become a better listener is to repeat key things the
person is saying, to really focus on their words. What comes naturally as an
introvert is rather waiting your turn before you speak. Which is also an
important component.

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wrt54g
I'm not a fan of the introvert-worship on HN and related sites- I see it used
as a crutch, an excuse, a softer form of the typical claim to having
Asperger's to explain how you can't talk to people. Not saying Asperger's or
introversion aren't real problems, just that you can make yourself feel OK
sitting inside all night by putting a label on it and talking about it on the
internet.

I'm not quiet because I'm an introvert, I'm quiet because of past personal
failures wherein I didn't learn social skills because I was dicking around
with books and computers all day. So now I'm a loser, but at least I can admit
the truth rather than wrapping it in pop-science.

(Btw, clearly the OP is not a case of this - just a related observation)

~~~
rjeaster
Don't confuse your own failings with introversion. Many people are happier
sitting inside all night. It sounds like you're either an unpopular extrovert,
or you've been so conditioned by what society expects us to be that you feel
shame for doing what you want to be doing. Either way address your own issues
as opposed to bashing others for some perceived notion of faking happiness.

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andrew_wc_brown
Instead of using the very board labels of extrovert and introvert we should
break down the components so we can mix and match and come up with something
the describes a person's personality more accurately.

~~~
jofer
Prepare yourself for an onslaught of comments about Myers-Briggs/eColors/etc.

Personality-type classifications have their uses, but they're wildly over-used
in the corporate world (or that's been my experience, anyway).

Just wait until you've worked in an environment where you're required to wear
a two-color label based on your personality type (I'm not exaggerating,
unfortunately... At least blue and green are my two favorite colors?).

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dangero
Just want to point out that the title difference on this HN post vs the actual
blog is offensive to me as an introvert.

"How An Introvert Learned To Be A Leader" as it's written on the blog title is
very different than "How Introverts Can Learn to Become Leaders". One makes
presumption about the capabilities of introverts in a much stronger and
general fashion. The other is a single person's experience.

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awdburn
Sounds good. Warm fuzzy feeling. I'm an introvert too. BUT. Lets be real, how
many Fortune 500 CEOs are true introverts. How many entrepreneurs are
introverts.

I want to see examples of the introvert leadership style in large/innovative
companies. Anyone have any examples?

~~~
codereflection
Old article but still relevant. Cites Gates, Buffett, Schwab, etc.

[http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/companies/management/20...](http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/companies/management/2006-06-06-shy-
ceo-usat_x.htm)

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jawns
The summer before I entered seventh grade, I went to student council camp,
which was at the time, and is to this very day, the nerdiest-sounding summer
camp I have ever heard of.

Even science-oriented camps like space camp sounded way cooler in comparison.

Yet, that week at The Association of Catholic Student Council's Summer
Leadership Conference at Villanova University was a pretty pivotal moment in
my adolescence.

However, when I first arrived there, I was overcome by the feeling that I was
living a lie and didn't deserve to be at the camp.

The counselors kept talking about how we, as elected student council members,
were leaders — and I thought to myself, "If they only knew! I'm no leader. Not
only am I not one of the popular kids at my school, I'm probably one of the
least popular kids. My election was a total fluke. Nobody in my class expected
me to win. I'm no leader. Leaders are popular. Leaders are extroverted and
cheery and the life of the party. And that's totally not me."

All through the week, though, the counselors insisted we were leaders, and
toward the end of the week, I almost started to buy into it.

And then school started, and I remained one of the least popular kids in my
class (or so I thought), and that was the end of that.

But it wasn't, really.

I never became one of the popular kids ... but I did contribute to student
council. I did recognize ways to make the school a better place, and I tried
to live out one of TACSC's slogans and "Make It Happen."

It wasn't until I hit college that I really started to recognize and
appreciate that quiet leadership could be a legitimate form of leadership, and
that it could often be much more powerful than loud leadership.

Quiet leadership doesn't draw attention to itself. It is not the type of
leadership that uses rallying cries or bullhorns. There's a place for that ...
but it's not the only form of leadership out there.

Quiet leadership might involve a person working behind the scenes to get a
project done. He may not be the official leader, but he's the one who manages
to make things happen.

Quiet leadership is often instructional. When I worked at the campus newspaper
in college, I tried to make it a point to give each of the editors who worked
below me an opportunity to learn what I did and actually get their hands dirty
doing it, since I knew that they would eventually be the ones who would
replace me.

Those tutorial sessions didn't involve bombastic speeches — they just involved
a guy who wanted to help out.

And that can be leadership.

Simply doing little things that make a difference, even if you're not popular,
even if you don't get the credit, even if there's a figurehead involved who
takes on the more traditional leadership role, even if it seems like nobody's
following you ... that can be leadership.

After all, not ever leader attracts a group of followers from day one. Often,
it's not until he's well into his journey that anyone decides to tag along.

And I think it's important to affirm quiet leadership as a legitimate type of
leadership, lest anyone like seventh-grader Shaun get discouraged and think
that because he doesn't fit the Big Man on Campus mold, he isn't (or couldn't
be) a leader.

I do consider myself a leader today, and I encourage any of you who may doubt
your leadership abilities to consider that you may not be the type of person
we commonly think of as a leader ... but your actions and your aspirations may
point to your being much more of a leader than you might think.

~~~
jerf
People often conflate "leadership" and "management". Leadership isn't about
telling, it's about doing, usually doing without having been told. It's about
coming to the meeting with what you've implemented, rather than with
suggestions. I had more typed up, but really, that's the core point:
Leadership and management are two very different things.

~~~
gohrt
> People often conflate "leadership" and "management".

One of the hallmarks of a flopping company is when they start calling the
managers "leaders", as though the label would create credibility or legitimacy
beyond their managerial authority.

~~~
pshin45
I've found that's true for almost all naming and branding. If you have to try
to improve the name of a company/product/job, it probably wasn't a very good
company/product/job to begin with OR the name is overly aspirational and the
reality is the opposite of what you're trying to name it.

secretary --> executive Assistant

waiter --> server

garbage man --> sanitation engineer

janitor --> custodian

Any company/product that has the word "best" or "fast" \--> Not the best or
fastest at all

strip club --> gentlemen's club

Etc.

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Pherdnut
Introversion doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with shy. I just don't want
to deal 25 assholes at the same time. I don't get a charge out of that. Once
conversations involve more than three it's like the gonads start swinging or
something and I lose interest. A confident introvert is a natural leader. I
don't even get why this is some sort of revelation.

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k3n
Introvert or not, what does it say about me that I have absolutely no desire
to be a "leader"?

At least not in the 9-5 rat-race definition of such, which basically
translates to _manager_...

~~~
nostrademons
"Manager" and "leader" are distinct concepts, and they require distinct
skillsets and personality characteristics. Probably the most concise
distinction I can make is that a _leader_ is the CEO (they set the vision for
the organization), while a _manager_ is the COO (they make the trains run on
time). A leader is a change agent: their goal is to envision a better possible
future and get people to buy into that future. A manager is a problem-solver:
given a vision for the future, their job is to make that vision come true with
a minimum of fuss and hiccups. Leaders need creativity, confidence, vision,
persistence, and either really good technical skills (to build a demo and
_show_ people what's possible) or really good interpersonal & communication
skills (to convince other people to build that demo). Managers need
organizational skills, interpersonal skills, emotional intelligence,
confidence, and really strong listening & communication skills.

It's fairly rare to find both skillsets combined into the same person. Steve
Jobs was a great leader but a terrible manager; Tim Cook is a great manager
but a terrible leader. Mark Zuckerburg is a leader; Sheryl Sandberg is a
manager. Larry Page is a leader; Eric Schmidt is a manager. Steve Wozniak was
a leader who had no pretenses for ever being a manager: one of the conditions
for founding Apple was that he'd always stay at the bottom of the org chart.
Jeff Dean is a leader; Sanjay Ghemawat is a manager (in a metaphorical sense,
for both of them; they're both individual contributors).

Leadership often arises out of unexpected quarters: very often, it's strong-
willed individuals at the _bottom_ of the org chart who turn out to be the
strongest leaders in times of crisis (and then they often rapidly rise through
the org chart, at least as long as they find a good manager to partner with to
make the trains run on time).

~~~
k3n
I appreciate the detailed response, I guess I've just been conditioned to
equate "leader = manager" on account of their liberal and seemingly
interchangeable use in job descriptions and roles (or perhaps that's my own
misinterpretation). I do see the difference though, and think that I wouldn't
mind being a leader as you describe it, and I believe I have most of the
qualities you describe for it. I have thought of myself more as a silent
leader (e.g. _by example_ ), or through peer coaching, but I am just wary of
taking on a managerial role, and it sounds like for good reason: some of those
qualities are my weaker points, and I plainly do not enjoy many of those
things. Thanks again!

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jjoe
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4)

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yekko
Hitler was probably the most famous of all introverts who became a leader....

