

Ask HN: Keep Going? - throw75

I'm about six months out of graduating college.  No debt and currently living out of my relatives house who have allowed me to work here for free.  I worked for a somewhat well-known startup right out school but decided to quit my job because it wasn't the right fit for me at all.<p>I applied to some other startups, got offers, but eventually decided to start my own company.  I've been going at it for about 5-6 weeks.  Things are going well: the product is really progressing quickly and investors are getting in touch with me (not the other way around).  But damn, is life ever lonely.<p>I'm a single founder with 2 advisors.  But I'm the one down in the trenches doing anything.  The site is not completely public yet (we'll be launching full-on soon).  I consider myself to be a pretty social person but not being from the SV originally I don't really have any friends or people I know.  That being said, all I do is program and work on the company...which gets extremely draining with no social interaction.<p>Any advice?  I feel like I need to give this a shot.  I've got some money saved up and I've been thinking about moving into my own cheap place (just to have my own place for a morale boost).  But, with no solid income its hard to really justify moving out from a free-rent place.  At the same time, I've thought about quitting the entire thing.  Should I just stop complaining?  Advice welcome.
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marilyn
Sounds like your should stick with your start up. Fix the problem instead of
giving up. The problem being, from what I read, you are dissatisfied with your
current level of social interaction.

Establish a routine in which you regularly interact with people. Consider
taking 5-10 hours of your week (or whatever works for you, and devote it to
something unrelated to your startup. A part time job in a social place, like a
cafe, or perhaps volunteer for a cause that matters to you. Check out classes
in your community that you might enjoy. Maybe a martial art, or other physical
activity to get two birds with one stone.

If you want to find more like-mind people, look for entrepreneur's and small
business networking events and meets ups. You don't have to be in the valley
to find people that are working on making a successful business.

Best of luck to you!

~~~
throw75
Thank you. Classes are a good idea for me I think. Established routine.

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bradly
Instead of moving into your own place, have you thought about moving into a
place with some other people? It would be a good way to be around people daily
and also get connected into more social groups.

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rguzman
If investors are contacting you, you surely have something worth pursuing. No
matter what, tough it out as long as you can.

To cope with the loneliness, get yourself out there. Are you alone in the "I
need like-minded folks to talk to" way? Or in a more "I want to hang out and
have fun with people" way? Either way, you can do something about it.

For the former: go hang out with people. It is easy enough to cold-email
people and invite them to lunch or coffee (where in the bay are you, btw?
let's go have lunch!) Go to tech meetups. Join users groups and go to their
activities. Coincidentally, this is probably the best way to find co-founders.

The latter is a bit more tricky, but you can approach it the same way. Make
use of meetup. Volunteer. Join a book club. Make it a point to talk to 1
stranger every day or every day you go outside the house. Go to bars by
yourself and talk to people.

There is probably a large set of people who fit into both categories.

One way or another, keep at it through the hard times. I'm sure it'll be worth
it.

~~~
eru
As a very special case of this advice, climbing is hacker-compatible and it's
easy to get to know people this way.

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8ren
A cheap temporary band-aid solution is to work in cafes sometimes. Just being
around people can help; as does the change in environment.

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katovatzschyn

        Should I just stop complaining?
    

Just to say, in general, answer to this question is almost always yes.

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mustpax
Maybe so but there's nothing wrong with wanting to be told "We've all been
there. You will be alright. Just hang in there."

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jacquesm
YES!

Seriously, most people won't get to the point where you with their 'start-
ups', so you seem to have a live one. If you ever wondered about stopping
before this is the worst time to decide to do so, just another 6 months and
you'll know what you've got.

Keep at it and make a go of it, you're very close to launch, why on earth
would you give up at this stage. All the sunk costs you've already had, now is
the time to push on and make a go of it.

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kaisdavisOR
Slow down and start talking to people. You don't have monthly costs, investor
expectations, or debt forcing you to work at a fast pace. Take it slower,
start having more social interaction, and start talking to people again.

~~~
nbauman
Seconded. I suggest getting on an even keel before making yourself obligated
to others. Having a good routine that keeps the level of social interaction
normal and healthy is a very very good thing to have before taking on
investors' money. The stress only increases :-)

I recently moved to LA where I know very few people. Building up friendships
and contacts has been a pretty high priority. I've tried to make time for
meet-ups. Following up with individuals afterwards to get coffee, beer, play
sports has been the most successful way for me build a new network.

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samdalton
If you're enjoying the project, and think it can go somewhere, then don't give
up. It's the hard times that flush out those who aren't committed.

As for being lonely, try jumping on Twitter. There will be hundreds of people
in your local area on it who will most likely be very friendly. I've met at
least 50 people in real life who I would never have known were it not for
twitter, and have even made a couple of friends overseas. Meetup.com is
another great resource for finding like-minded people.

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lsc
in SV proper? head by the Hacker Dojo. You can bring your laptop and work, but
there is a whole lot of social interaction going on there, too. It's better, I
think, than a coffee shop for social interaction because it's expected that
people will start talking to you. It's better than most parties or other
social situations, 'cause it's completely acceptable to bring your laptop, and
to mumble something about a deadline or needing to work whenever you are tired
of talking.

~~~
throw75
I've actually been told this by multiple people. I think I may check it out.

~~~
ryanteo
<http://desksnear.me/> \- Would this help you? Keep going!=) You might want to
try exercising regularly (running, basketball, swimming..) and hanging out
with friends who are not necessarily doing startups. It helps to keep you
rooted to the rest of the world who are not interested in startups.. =)

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edo
Some words from the great Churchill might aid: "Never, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, give up. Never give up. Never give up. Never give up."

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sp4rki
Why you are thinking about quitting when you've dedicated so much to your
project and are getting investors interested in your product is beyond me. If
the problem is loneliness just get out more! What difference will it make to
move out anyways? Just work on your company and make a habit of speaking to
people all the time. In no time you'll get rid of the 'loneliness'.

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vantran
I'm in almost the exact same situation as you. Just graduated this year,
worked for a startup, then moved to SF with a relative to work on our own
startup. Would love to meet you and chat, let me know.

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jeffmiller
<http://www.metamorphblog.com/2010/10/startup-team-magic.html>

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polymath21
Where in SV are you? I'm about 5 months out of college and working on a
startup too, would be down to meet up. Send me an email ambition2188 at gmail

~~~
vibhavs
I'm in a similar situation as polymath21 as well. Shoot me an email if
interested in meeting up.

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known
Are you the same <http://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=throw999>

~~~
throw75
No.

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tnt128
why not try working at Hacker Dojo, you can get the work done and make new
friends the same time.

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throw75
Thank you everyone for the advice. It has helped me monumentally.

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dennisgorelik
Why do you use throw-away account? If your question was linked to a real
person -- you would get more meaningful advice and possibly some other help.

~~~
throw75
I'm guessing a few of my would-be investors probably read this site. I'd
prefer to remain anonymous.

~~~
dennisgorelik
Do you think that if investors read that discussion, probability of investment
deal would go down?

If so -- why? I would expect that the chance of investment deal would go up
for these reasons:

1) Open public discussion makes you more known, and therefore investment
outcome is a little bit more predictable.

2) Public discussion promotes your future business.

3) Open public discussion indicates you are not embarrassed to connect your
name to your business.

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socialmediaking
get a girlfriend

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GDH
One thing you will learn is that it's drive that pays off. If you feel like
quiting in the bad times during startup you're going to have a hard time when
your company runs into hard times in the future once you've invested more into
it. Look at the guys form airbnb, they lived of cereal and were broke but they
never lost hope. Like bradly said find some like minded roommates. Also
congrats on having investors contact you, thats a good sign. Keep it up.

