
What Do You Do with a Stolen van Gogh? - ajay-d
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/27/arts/design/van-gogh-stolen.html
======
pixelbath
> Durham’s exasperation is not that of some couch potato who has seen one too
> many crime shows. He’s a thief who 18 years ago stole not one but two van
> Gogh paintings from Amsterdam’s famous Van Gogh Museum.

Then a few paragraphs later talks about how he also committed his crime with a
sledgehammer and no forethought:

> “I just did it because I saw the opportunity,” Durham said. He noticed a
> window at the museum that he thought would be easy to smash. “I didn’t have
> a buyer before I did it,” he said. “I just thought I can either sell them,
> or if I have a problem I can negotiate with the paintings.”

See other comments in this thread for a single-sentence distillation of the
only really useful information from the article.

------
Jerry2
Sell it to a Chinese billionaire. [1]

> _Priceless Chinese works of art stolen in audacious robberies from galleries
> and museum in Britain and Europe are thought to be ending up in private
> collections belonging to Beijing billionaires._

> _Zhao Xu, the director of Beijing Poly Auction, told China Daily: “Buying
> looted artwork has become high street fashion among China’s elite.”_

[https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/08/25/chinese-art-
heis...](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/08/25/chinese-art-heists-fuels-
black-market-sales-looted-treasures/)

------
bialpio
The article reminds me of a cool vid about ex-jewelery robber breaking down
heist scenes from famous movies:
[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CtWqv0Z3ErM](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CtWqv0Z3ErM)

~~~
errantmind
For those who watched, I just want you I never hurt anyone while committing
robberies and I am not endorsing any crime

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paulie_a
A lot of big ticket stolen art is used as collateral for other illegal
transactions. Everyone knows it's worthless because you can't unload it. But
it shows you are a really good criminal.

~~~
aggie
Wouldn't that be more of a proof of concept than collateral?

~~~
FpUser
A resume I would say ;)

~~~
scollet
Practical experience? On a related note, when I watch Ollam talk about his pen
testing (At Black Hat?) it feels like a heist documentary.

------
neonate
[https://archive.md/zNO8z](https://archive.md/zNO8z)

------
Apocryphon
I'm reminded of the movie American Animals, where four college students
attempt to steal some of Audubon's drawings, and realize that the fencers
themselves want a valuation before they're willing to buy.

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lowdose
You make a style transfer on a photo of 1880. Use the paint of the original
van Gogh to paint the styletransfer result. Bring it to the Van Gogh museum
and let them authenticate it as the real deal.

~~~
oh_sigh
You know that paint dries right? How do you plan on rehydrating it?

~~~
mrob
And in the case of oil paintings, "dries" means "polymerizes", so rehydrating
is impossible.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drying_oil](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drying_oil)

~~~
oh_sigh
Do you also have a source of unadulterated 130 year old rehydrating compound?

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joyj2nd
Tokenize it, make a Crypto IPO

~~~
nsl73
Each token is worth 1cm^2 of the painting.

~~~
cosmodisk
[http://www.milliondollarhomepage.com/](http://www.milliondollarhomepage.com/)

------
RcouF1uZ4gsC
It seems a lot of art is used for signaling purposes, aka ostentatious
consumption.

In terms of ostentatious consumption, I think the ultimate would be Kobe van
Gogh steaks.

Those are Kobe Beef steaks grilled over a fire that was built using a van Gogh
painting. I hear the old oils based paints when they burn in the fire impart a
very distinctive flavor to the meat that just can't be duplicated anywhere
else.

~~~
calvinmorrison
There's a great bbc sketch show chewing the fat. One scene involves a working
class Glasgow couple who wins 15 million on the lotto. They buy a van Gogh and
hang it up in thier living room because the like it. Some thieves break in and
steal a lava lamp and cutlery, as well as the painting because the frame might
be worth a few quid. At the end of the scene, the thieves are selling the lava
lamp at a flea market and casually rip the painting up to use as packing paper
for the lava lamp.

It's a funny sketch but I really do like it.

~~~
BrandoElFollito
I think that Japanese drawings on thin paper which are today very valuable
were used in the past (at the time they were drawn) as packing paper for
porcelain.

------
karlssonsoft
Hang it on your wall and claim it is a counterfeit.

------
phobar
You commonly sell it back to the insurance company.

------
dstick
The best part? It happened again just a few months ago. Same MO: Van Gogh,
Amsterdam, hammer smash :)

[https://m.gooieneemlander.nl/cnt/dmf20200422_37766724/deuren...](https://m.gooieneemlander.nl/cnt/dmf20200422_37766724/deuren-
met-hamer-ingebeukt-van-gogh-simpel-gestolen-uit-singer-laren)

Sorry for the Dutch article, couldn’t find an English one. But the gist of it
is that a guy stole a painting by smashing a window with a sledgehammer during
the corona lockdown in the Netherlands. And got away with it.

I’m curious to learn more about the thoughts behind the security measures of
museums. Balancing accessibility with “stealability”.

Edit: Here’s an English resource and video:
[https://nltimes.nl/2020/04/22/video-released-van-gogh-
theft-...](https://nltimes.nl/2020/04/22/video-released-van-gogh-theft-singer-
laren-museum)

------
perl4ever
Play it by ear?

------
sneeuwpopsneeuw
When this article was first posted on Hackernews the title was different. Why
are the titles getting changed?

It is still a clickbait title so i don't understand why the change was done in
the first place.

------
J5892
Hire someone to make high quality counterfeits, and sell those .

------
copperx
Hang it on your wall away from UV light.

~~~
joyj2nd
Paintings are behind UV shielding glass. Source: I asked an art dealer if he
is not worried about his Andy Warhol pictures.

------
unnouinceput
Start your own private collection.

------
makach
Hang it on your wall.

------
blackrock
Hang it on the wall in your safe room.

You might need to spend more time in there these days.

------
corobo
Quick answer: They sell them at around 10% value on the black market, or use
them as bargaining chips if they're arrested for other crimes.

Clickbait titles leading to long fluffy non-answer pieces can do one.

~~~
mariusz331
Would this be a better title? "Art Thieves Usually Sell Stolen Art on the
Black Market for ~10% of Market Value"

edit: I think I'd be more inclined to click this title than the original.

~~~
corobo
Honestly it doesn't even need to be that. In the ideal world they'd write the
title in a way that makes it look like an interesting read, don't try to trick
me into clicking. It doesn't neccesarily have to have the info in the title, I
know they've got folks to pay and that.

A question title? I'll always try to answer it in the comments if I've got the
time. I find it funny to do so, and it helps others.

Question titles are just lazy journalism, then to go on to ask for money to
read the article. Haha. No.

------
Stierlitz
"What do you do with a stolen van Gogh? This thief knows"

[https://artdaily.com/news/124021/What-do-you-do-with-a-
stole...](https://artdaily.com/news/124021/What-do-you-do-with-a-stolen-van-
Gogh--This-thief-knows)

------
kwhitefoot
What's the point of posting a link to an article that a significant fraction
of the public will not be able to read?

Wouldn't it be better to create a précis and post that instead?

~~~
whoopdedo
Or you could spend the money to read it.

I'm starting to feel like the people who complain about the poor quality of
media and aggressive advertising are part of the problem by refusing to pay
for content when it is offered to them in an up-front way. As if the entire
world is entitled to open access to journalism. Or that paying for news hasn't
been how publishers operated for hundreds of years.

~~~
kevin_thibedeau
They need to abandon the gym membership business model where cancellation is a
Kafkaesque process.

~~~
tanseydavid
I thought it was just me that had a bizarre experience trying to 'break-up'
with the gym membership.

