
Talk About An Unprofessional LinkedIn Response - bhartzer
http://www.406northlane.com/blog/2014/02/talk-about-an-unprofessional-linkedin-response/
======
MrZongle2
Much ado about nothing. The individual who was on the receiving end of the
LinkedIn request is _right_ , even if her response to the 20-something went
overboard.

If she had stopped at "Your invite to connect is inappropriate, beneficial
only to you, and tacky" we wouldn't have even known about it. While that would
have been a brusque response, it was still correct.

I _hate_ cold calls, because every single one (for me) involves somebody
trying to get something out of me without anything substantive in return. My
experience may be atypical, and I acknowledge that not every cold call is like
that.

But _this_ one reeks of "let me try to leech onto your network". The
20-something got backhanded, and has run crying to the social mob so that that
mean, mean lady will get punished.

Both parties could have handled this better. Unfortunately, the instigator of
this whole affair has simply been rewarded for her clumsy and clueless actions
by a) getting attention and b) ensuring that the person who hurt her feelings
has been tarred and feathered.

~~~
buckbova
> Both parties could have handled this better.

Bullshit. Kelly was a complete a-hole and deserves everything she gets. There
were 100 different ways to handle this without insults.

I don't even treat telemarketers this rudely.

~~~
MrZongle2
"And deserves everything she gets"

Yes, let's ruin a woman's livelihood over a bloody LinkedIn exchange because
_somebody 's feelings were hurt._

~~~
shock-value
The only thing that happened to her was that her email (multiple similarly
worded emails, in fact) was posted publicly. If that's all it takes to ruin
her career than maybe she shouldn't have written the email the way she did.

~~~
MrZongle2
And what was the purpose of posting the email?

To punish and embarrass. Careers _have_ been ruined in such a manner.

~~~
shock-value
The point is that posting the email wouldn't have been a punishment if she
would have responded in a socially acceptable manner. She brought it on
herself.

------
loteck
Summary of this tempest:

Girl applies to join a "job bank" email group in Cleveland, in order to find a
job. Girl feels like it's also a smart idea to connect with the operator of
the email group on LinkedIn.

Operator absolutely eviscerates girl for requesting the LinkedIn connection.
Girl spreads operator's rude response around the internet. Operator is now
sad, and has apologized.

~~~
mildtrepidation
This is not a summary. It's an explanation that lacks a great deal of
important context. If you're considering taking this at face value, go read
the actual content of this exchange: You'll see very quickly why an apology
was warranted, and how incredibly shallow it was.

------
vbrendel
She's clearly serious about this. From her blog:

 __* 6\. LinkedIn. Please do NOT shop through LinkedIn for all the important
sounding senior practitioners in town, and ask them to connect. It comes
across as bush league, it shows poor judgment, and you are ignoring the
fundamental rule of connections – reciprocity. Networking is conducted between
individuals who have met or worked with each other, and who can provide equal
levels of help to each other. If I would be only the 5th connection you have
on LinkedIn, and I’m bringing 800+ connections to the table, what you would
get is the ability to harvest my contacts for job leads, and I get –
absolutely nothing of use or interest out of accepting your invite.

These types of wishful connection requests come across as self-serving and
tacky. Of course, if you’ve been an intern for someone, please ask them to
connect. Every professional I know bends over backwards to help their interns,
give them recommendations, etc. However, if the only way you met a business
leader was because they came to class to speak, please hold off on the
presumptuous urge to ask them to connect with you. Right now, your LinkedIn
connections should be classmates, professors and the people you worked for at
internships or part-time jobs. ___

~~~
mjolk
It's just linkedin, don't take it so seriously. It's just a website.

------
asdfologist
As much as Blazek acted completely out of line, I applaud her for making a
real apology:

"I sincerely apologize for the harsh words and unprofessional, unwarranted
actions in my response to you... I should have lent a hand, as well as hope,
and I failed at that. You and many others, both strangers and colleagues, have
reminded me that my personal journey in humility and gentleness is far from
complete. I wish you all the best in your job search. Respectfully, Kelly
Blazek," [0]

It's not one of those lame "I'm sorry if you were offended" or "I used the
wrong choice of words" non-apologies, which are all too common these days.

[0]
[http://www.cleveland.com/business/index.ssf/2014/02/kelly_bl...](http://www.cleveland.com/business/index.ssf/2014/02/kelly_blazek_restarts_her_job_bank_twitter_account_with_an_apology_and_the_hashtag_letcitydown.html)

~~~
scott_s
Almost. I hate any variant of the phrasing "I apologize." It still serves to
distance yourself from the apology. An _apology_ is a thing. You can say that
another person _apologizes_. But "I apologize" is not, in itself, an apology.
An apology is saying "I am sorry."

The reason I care is that I think it takes more humility to say the simple
words "I am sorry" than "I apologize." Saying "I am sorry" is an admission of
feeling. Saying "I apologize" is trying to narrate at event that did not
actually happen.

~~~
asdfologist
I think you're taking the words too literally. Colloquially they mean pretty
much the same thing, though "I apologize" has a more formal tone.

~~~
scott_s
They mean the same thing colloquially because people are uncomfortable saying
the words "I'm sorry." They want the formality to separate themselves from the
awkwardness and frankness of admitting an emotional state.

~~~
cushychicken
#nitpick

~~~
scott_s
Yes. I am particular when it comes to sincerity.

------
livejamie
I feel bad for this lady:
[http://i.imgur.com/reEDRLx.png](http://i.imgur.com/reEDRLx.png)

~~~
exelius
Anyone who has an MBA and puts it in their title is asking for it. I mean
really, who does that? Not anyone with an MBA from anywhere worthwhile...

~~~
mildtrepidation
That's phenomenally backwards...

~~~
exelius
Not really; if you got your MBA at a good school you learn that putting "MBA"
in your title is a low-class thing to do. In most of the business world,
everyone just expects you have one and will look up your LinkedIn profile to
see where you went if they care.

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mattyohe
Link is down, cache:
[http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:75RHpg6...](http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:75RHpg6MOnYJ:www.406northlane.com/blog/2014/02/talk-
about-an-unprofessional-linkedin-response/+&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us)

------
incision
_> "...if I shared my 960+ LinkedIn connections with you - a total stranger
who has nothing to offer me."_

It never occurred to me that someone could have so much self-worth tied up in
their LinkedIn connection list.

Funny thing is, it's actually reassuring that this is notable enough to go
viral and universally decried.

Just swap jobseeking for technology help, 960 connections for 27,000 posts and
you're looking at one of millions of noob scorchings that have been taking
place since BBS. Being smug, needlessly nasty and aggressively dismissive
isn't just ignored in these circles - it's often applauded.

~~~
MrZongle2
_Funny thing is, it 's actually reassuring that this is notable enough to go
viral and universally decried._

I believe the opposite.

Before online social networking trivialized human relationships, rude behavior
in a private exchange would have resulted in the recipient of the rudeness
evaluating the other as an a-hole and might share the story with a few
friends.

Now it's a front-page story. It is a perfect example of how thin-skinned and
polarized our society has become.

------
jnevill
So... people actually use linkedin? I was under the assumption, after years
and years of emails from linkedin, that it's really just a crowd-sourced spam
generator. Is that not the case? mind.blown(<really big number>)

~~~
mindcrime
Um, yeah... LinkedIn is an amazingly useful tool in many ways. Yes, being on
there can result in the occasional incoming spam message, but a lot of us find
the value far outweighs that minor detriment.

~~~
Anderkent
_Occasional_ spam message? I have yet to get a linked-in notification that's
not spam. "Hi, I noticed you ask to connect to people who you've worked with
before, but I'm a recruiter so I don't give a shit."

~~~
mindcrime
I don't know what to tell you. All I can say is that for me, the benefits
outweigh the negatives. But then again, maybe I care less about spam than a
lot of people, as I lean pretty heavily towards the "no big deal, it's easy
enough to ignore" worldview. Or maybe it's just normalized pain, who knows? I
just know I wouldn't quit LinkedIn over spam messages, at least not as things
stand today. _shrug_

------
dec0dedab0de
Am I the only one who never heard of a job bank before?

~~~
nsxwolf
I've never heard of one either, but it sounds like someone needs to start a
competing one in that town...

~~~
mikeleeorg
Looks like someone just did:

[https://twitter.com/OtherNEOJobBank](https://twitter.com/OtherNEOJobBank)

So far, it appears to be just a Twitter account that shares local job
listings, but perhaps they are working on a formal email list and website too.

------
icedchai
Sounds like a "senior professional" is taking LinkedIn a little too
seriously...

------
mikeleeorg
I've always taken an approach of "always be respectful to everyone" \- not
just to be a kind person, but also because you never know when someone may
reciprocate that kindness.

In some cases, mere acquaintances have turned around to introduce me to job
candidates, customers, business partners, etc.

This approach works in the social world too, in terms of dating ;-)

------
mathattack
The excessiveness of the response suggests that the writer has some kind of
mental health issues. If you're in the "help people get jobs" business, this
is exactly the type of connection that you should want.

------
ingsoc79
Typical Millennial response. You hurt my feelings so I'm going to shame you on
social media!

Good luck to anyone willing to step in the legal & PR minefield of employing
this girl.

~~~
darkarmani
> Typical Millennial response. You hurt my feelings so I'm going to shame you
> on social media!

I'm not sure you understand how shame or social mediaworks. You can't shame
someone unless they've actually done something shameful. Things don't go viral
unless there is something there.

~~~
ingsoc79
Not sure how a rude LinkedIn message qualifies as "shameful," but a deluge of
nasty anonymous messages is surely a proportionate response!

~~~
darkarmani
You are the one that brought up shame. I'm not sure how you know that the
anonymous messages are from the millennial. If anyone is sending the anon
messages, it's probably not the young girl.

------
mrjatx
Wow. I'm "Senior Level" and I absolutely love speaking with people who are
interested in entering my field. I even teach classes and hold relevant
meetups.

I expected the comments about her reply to be exaggerated, but they aren't. At
all. That was absolutely disgusting to read.

------
chrishoog
Link is down - here's to file:
[http://imgur.com/gallery/71sQ92K](http://imgur.com/gallery/71sQ92K)

