
Google Fired Me - tossayo
https://medium.com/@tossayo/google-fired-me-a3ad8cb9fd8d
======
Someone1234
This is intentionally vague to the point of being dishonest. Take this quote:

> They asked about my whereabouts that involved this co-worker, all of which
> happened outside the workplace. I asked why these events mattered, and they
> told me that an issue has been brought to their attention in such a way that
> is has entered the workplace, and thus is now a workplace matter.

So something happened outside of the workplace with a co-worker, they aren't
saying what, and HR got involved. HR said "stay away from this person inside
of work" (paraphrasing). They they tack on this:

> If this co-worker wasn’t my friend at the time and wasn’t friends with my
> other friends, this could have been simple to follow.

And then:

> However, one evening in late July, we found ourselves walking home at the
> same time. I took this as an opportunity to bring up the HR issue raised
> last month.

And then:

> A week later, I sent a text to this co-worker asking if the HR issue was
> followed up on their end.

I just stopped reading at that point. I don't know why this person posted this
if they're going to try and hide the core facts. They're clearly framing this
story to make Google into the bad guy (and I legitimately don't know who they
"bad guy" is since we lack too much information!).

The whole tone of this article irritates me since it feels so carefully worded
politi-speak and half truths.

~~~
cube00
You missed the part where he clearly explains what "the event" was:

> The event that prompted this co-worker to go to HR was because of hearsay
> about me regarding actions claiming I’ve done something, to which I refuted.

Edit: /s :)

~~~
sjs382
Clearly?

~~~
why-el
I think cube00 is making a joke. :)

------
Tomte
Okay, yes, unrequited love hurts. A lot. But still... you acted stupidly.

You were told that you weren't supposed to contact her.

Doesn't matter if that's fair or legal or whatever. It's simply a bad idea _to
"bring up the HR issue"_ when walking home alone. And your conversation was
probably very short mostly because it was extremely uncomfortable for her.

Shortly after that you're wondering what's happening now. Instead of asking
HR, you're texting your co-worker again!

Then there's lots and lots of petty squabbling about semantics and exact
meanings of terms in your "restrictions" (where you actually do have a point
or two – but it simply doesn't matter. You're not supposed to talk to her!).

Yes, you totally contacted her again and again, but "it was a groupchat!".
That's totally different. Not.

If you ever get into such a situation again: take HR's warnings seriously. The
second after you stepped out of the first meeting was the second you should
have realized "I'm in big trouble, deservedly or not, I need professional
help."

Maybe a lawyer, maybe a friend, maybe even a therapist. What do I know? But
you definitely did not need those knee-jerk reactions. "Hey, let's find a
loophole where I can convince myself it's okay to contact her".

~~~
forgottenpass
I don't know how you pull unrequited love out of such a vauge post. If we are
to make that leap of assumption, it's a tiny additional inference to say the
root cause was at least one of them was unable to mange the interaction line
an adult (pursuer wouldn't take no for an answer and/or perused didn't bother
to shut it down properly).

HR conversations basically take the American inability to be direct and
multiply it by 100. Are we going to assume that HR of such a large company
gave him the 30 seconds of real talk he needed to hear and possibly fix the
situation, or run-arounds that assume their inability to communicate can be
fixed by using their position of power to wield parent-knows-best control over
the people? A state of affairs that feels insulting to people who know they
need parental guidance, let alone adults. No wonder it ended like this.

HR's mind was made up in July. They should have fired him in July.

~~~
hwstar
There was probably not enough ammunition (i.e. documentation) to avoid a
wrongful termination issue, or Google gave the person the benefit of the doubt
and and issued a warning as a documentation point.

In any case the person in question should have started looking for a new job
at that point as the relationship is damaged, or resigned if they had the
financial resources to do so.

------
fearface
15 years ago, freshly employed, less than 25 years old, introverted and
socially awkward, I had a work colleague as well to which I wrote a romantic
poem (for her, more or less out of the blue). It wasn't received well. Not
well at all. I had trouble understanding her dismissal and insisted on that
she gave me signs of affection. HR was involved briefly, my story sounded so
similar to what OP writes. But in my case, she quit the job. Years later, I
realised my self-delusion.

~~~
totalrobe
This is why you should party or at least socialize widely in college. To get
all that weird socially awkward shit over with before you're in the workplace
and it impacts yours or another's career.

~~~
DrScump
Maybe I'm too cynical, but I kinda read that as "sexual harassment in college
doesn't count".

~~~
mercer
I assumed that 'within the boundaries of acceptable human behavior' was an
implicit assumption, but I've actually heard an uncomfortably large amount of
people defend unacceptable behavior as 'college acceptable'. So perhaps you're
not too cynical. I've been described more than once as too naïve :).

------
hoopism
I can't help but look at it from the other person's perspective.

They went to HR and were clearly upset/disturbed. HR then told this guy
clearly to avoid contact at work. The guy then ignores this order and
confronts the person.

I can only imagine the confronted person would say anything to avoid this
author. Basically the author approached them (when told not to) and said "Hey,
I am gunna get fired cus of you!". Who wouldn't just say whatever to get out
of the conversation?

I can't imagine why they thought this would good to publish. Despite it being
vague I can only fill in details with unfavorable assumptions.

~~~
DrScump

      Who wouldn't just say whatever to get out of the conversation?
    

This.

I had the _exact same thought_ upon first read.

------
sgk284
So this guy does something that makes his co-worker so uncomfortable that they
go to HR and ask them to tell him to stay away. He then finds the person
walking home and confronts them about the complaint. A week later he texts
them asking them to retract the complaint. And after that he continues trying
to change things so he can talk to the accuser about the issue.

It is clear as day that the accuser doesn't want to talk with him and in every
situation where it came up the accuser has politely tried to get out of it.
This guy just wouldn't give up and had more than enough chances to just walk
away.

He has deluded himself into thinking he was in the right.

------
ryanfitz
You were probably already "gone" once HR contacted you in June. HR's job is to
protect the company, at no point were they concerned with improving your work
relationship with the other employee. However, they were concerned with making
sure you couldn't sue Google for wrongful termination. They gave you 6 months
notice, followed up with you a few times, tied up any lose ends and then let
you go.

While I do think you were already gone, it sounds like you handled things
horribly during this 6 month period. You should have cut off all contact with
the other person and started job hunting.

------
ohitsdom
Without knowing the details:

Confronting the person (after HR said not to!) was a terrible decision, and
probably made the person extremely uncomfortable. Then following up with that
person to contact HR sounds like straight harassment. I get that the author
may have had honest intentions, but the party that initiated the complaint
clearly was uncomfortable with contact. It sucks and it's awkward, but at that
point you need to leave it.

~~~
sjs382
> Confronting the person (after HR said not to!) was a terrible decision, and
> probably made the person extremely uncomfortable.

And to expand on that: It probably made the person extremely uncomfortable,
_even if the said person told you that it didn 't_. During your interaction
with them, their priority may have been (and probably was) to end the
interaction ASAP without escalation or conflict.

------
jbob2000
Title should be "I harassed a coworker and Google fired me for it".

------
cm2187
It's hard to form an opinion without knowing what is "this thing" the author
has done, unless I missed the part where he describes it. If he acknowledged
to a colleague of having killed someone, the context is pretty different from
a minor violation of an internal policy.

~~~
engi_nerd
From some of my experiences with corporate HR departments, it can be
impossible to tell exactly what happened even when you are the one who is
supposed to be in the wrong.

This is another reminder that Human Resources is there to protect your company
from you, not protect you from your company.

~~~
laxentasken
>This is another reminder that Human Resources is there to protect your
company from you, not protect you from your company.

This. Unions might be helpful here depending on how they work in your country,
but this story is so vague that I got the feeling that HR actually did their
part. Sure sucks to loose your job, but if you are given restraints and
disregard them, well what do you expect to happen?

------
ones_and_zeros
HR told you not to talk to this person and you did, repeatedly.

I hope you find the help you need, please use the services offered to you as a
benefit of being a former Google employee.

------
smoyer
Corporate HR is an interesting profession ... you should never trust them. If
you're talking to an HR professional, it's for the company's protection (not
yours).

In any case, I think the writer made a huge mistake posting this publicly -
writing can definitely be therapeutic but that doesn't mean you need to
publish it. In any case, it's going to make getting past the next HR team
(getting hired) much harder.

------
joaoqalves
The intentionally vague way of writing makes me feel uncomfortable and
trustless. Yeah, it's OK to not disclose any details but if you're writing
about the problem and post it in Hacker News, you want empathy and
comprehension about your situation. The way you write, intentionally hiding
the details - that can be really important! - makes this a bit awkward and a
bit suspicious, imho.

------
nmalaguti
I've had to take action on behalf of an organization when a complaint was made
about a volunteer bothering others.

While I felt I had a pretty good understanding of the events after talking
with both parties, and even though the situation seemed to be a large
misunderstanding (missed signals), I was compelled to take action and remove
the volunteer without warning in order to maintain a safe environment for
everyone.

The person with the complaint needs to see and trust that it is a safe place
and that action is taken. If trust erodes in the organization, you'll end up
losing a lot more than just the person you let go.

------
brodo
If HR tells you "if XYZ happens, you're fired" it's time to look for a new
job.

~~~
engi_nerd
Yes. "Performance Improvement Plans" are also the kiss of death. When it looks
like you're about to be placed under one, fairly or not, you should attempt to
find other employment ASAP.

~~~
exodust
"Performance" can be seen as your ability to play ball with bullshit things
and people at work. Outdated inefficient systems you're expected to use
instead of building something new, for example. So you apply some resistance,
apply initiative, and get smacked down for your efforts.

Or when you're supposed to work with someone who is an expert at sticky note
presentations or motivational bullshit-speak, but literally nothing else. So
you distance yourself from them and they complain to your boss that you're not
keeping them in loop. Now your "communication skills" takes a hit.

If you never get in trouble at work, be worried. You might just be a boring
sod who does what you're told, never takes risks and could easily be replaced.
But then again, just do what you feel is right. In my case, I didn't want to
die from boredom, so stirring the pot (as respectfully as possible) was
required.

~~~
grogenaut
Why do you want to stay if this signals stuff you don't like?

~~~
exodust
Same reason you sometimes want to stay in a relationship but at the same time
get the hell away. There are good and not so good things about any
job/relationship.

------
johnx123-up
Author's other article [https://medium.com/@tossayo/suicidal-an-exploration-
on-my-me...](https://medium.com/@tossayo/suicidal-an-exploration-on-my-mental-
health-951d33951601)

------
hxn
33 points in 43 minutes and not on the frontpage.. would be nice to get a word
from the mods why this post is taken off.

~~~
deng
It's probably flagged by people who want to save the author from himself.
Seriously, he sounds like a stalker in that post and would be well advised to
take it down asap.

------
jackmaney
Two important lessons:

1\. Coworkers are coworkers and friends are friends, and never should the
twain meet.

2\. HR does not exist to protect you or provide you with any services. HR
exists as a policy-enforcement branch of the company. Period.

------
Overtonwindow
I agree with some of the the other points in this article that it's
intentionally vague, and missing a lot of details. What I do notice is that HR
specifically directed author to have no further contact with the other
employee. The author obviously violated that both directly, and indirectly. As
much as the author may feel like HR treated them unfairly, he should remember
something we all tend to forget:

HR is not your friend. They are there to protect the company, not you.

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japhyr
This kind of post can not help for finding a new job.

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0x2015
My advice to fired guy, take a fucking hike and remove said walls of text.

------
rewqfdsa
Never talk to HR.

~~~
osullivj
Remember your employment rights. Or, if you're in the US, remember you have
almost no employment rights.

~~~
hwstar
It would be interesting to see how this would be handled in the European
Union. It's almost certain that it would have been more work for the HR
department than in the US.

~~~
fearface
I work in a central European country and had a similar issue (see my comment
above) where I was the culprit. HR told me they we're approached by my
colleague and I should avoid her und stick to the code of conduct. I think my
job was not on the line, which prevented me from the moronic defense mode that
OP engaged into.

