

How Steve Ballmer told me what to do with my iPad - illdave
http://www.markwilson.co.uk/blog/2010/10/how-steve-ballmer-told-me-what-to-do-with-my-ipad.htm

======
bradhe
Okay guys, I've got to come out with something here. I'm kind of a lurker on
HN so I don't really say much...but I need to say something before I continue
with my comment here: I really love Microsoft products.

The (fledgling) start up I'm working on is built on .NET. I'm a BizSpark
member and my 9 to 5s have all been in .NET shops. My senior project in
college was written on .NET which led me to contracting at Microsoft for a
while while I finished my degree. And while I was there I was continually
impressed by the quality of the people I interacted with and how dedicated and
passionate they were to and about their technologies.

I can talk all day about what I like and what I don't like about specific
technologies they put out but my comment today isn't on the quality of their
products. It is on Steve Ballmer's atrocious presentation skills.

The way this man talks is like a marketeer in that doesn't really "get"
technology and dances around the technical aspects with marketing speak and
hand waving. He cannot afford to continue to deny that his competitors are
beating the _shit_ out of them in a number of markets that they oh-so-badly
want to participate in but just _cannot_ execute in for one reason or another.
And beyond that, in 2010, when your CEO competition is Zuckerberg, Jobs, and
Schmidt, you really _really_ can't afford to not really get technology.

Microsoft if you're out there, if you're listening to me, please for the love
of the gigantic, rich, strong community that surrounds your company and
technologies, please PLEASE eject Steve Ballmer. He's been slowly sinking the
ship for 10 years (yes, it is mostly his doing) and you can't keep this up.

------
mrshoe
Microsoft conference attendees can all laugh at the poor iPad user bent over
an obviously flawed form factor when they should be using one of those tablets
with flip-around keyboards that have been out for 10 years running Windows.

And everyone at WWDC can laugh all the way to the bank every time Apple sells
another million iPads.

The customers have spoken. Is denial really Ballmer's best option at this
point?

~~~
dejb
The same argument says Windows is the best desktop/laptop software. "The
customers have spoken."

~~~
junkbit
Yes, when Android first launched it was very interesting to see Apple users
use phrases like 100,000 apps in the app store and dominant market share, and
how these have changed as they were overtaken.

Mac users were always defending the boutique, specialist, quality over
quantity arguments on the desktop and then suddenly it was all a numbers game
for a while there.

~~~
patgarner
"Mac users were always defending the boutique, specialist, quality over
quantity arguments on the desktop and then suddenly it was all a numbers game
for a while there.".

The truth is, that the kind of people who say things like that are the kind of
people who look for opportunities to argue about that kind of stuff and your
statement reads like you have a clear bias. That's not a very objective
perspective to my mind.

-sent from my iPad

~~~
elblanco
I'm not sure if your post was meant to be humorous or unintended irony.

~~~
patgarner
Completely intentional.

------
hop
Ballmer's incompetence is compounded when he talks shit. Its like The
Emperor's New Clothes, except its been going on for so long that everyone
knows hes not wearing invisible robes. All, apparently except for Bill G and
the others on the board of directors that keep him gainfully employed.

~~~
megablast
Look, did this really go beyond a gentle ribbing? Ballmer is a big character,
who is supposed to make these grand sweeping statements. I don't know how much
we can draw from this.

~~~
hop
Yes and he has done it numerous times.

Ballmer talking shit about the iPhone -
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So7qrFO_p44>

~~~
bradhe
"Talking shit" is part of being in competition with a company.

------
trustfundbaby
This reminds me of the reddit Q&A with the IE9 guys ... they (Microsoft) don't
realize that they're no longer the ones defining where technology goes and as
a result they'll keep missing the boat on the technological trends that are
shaping the future.

Its going to be very satisfying to watch them eventually realize they've been
left behind.

~~~
bradhe
> they (Microsoft) don't realize that they're no longer the ones defining
> where technology goes

Actually, this is a really good point. In 1985 Microsoft was Facebook and
Microsoft continued to be Facebook-y 'till, what, 2002?

------
aroon
I'm amazed at how many words can come out of Ballmer's mouth without him
having actually said anything...

~~~
WalterBright
You shouldn't be. It's quite normal. If someone recorded and then transcribed
normal conversation of your's (or anyone else's), you'd be appalled at it. I
know I was when mine was recorded! Someone once complimented Cary Grant by
saying he wished he could be as witty and suave as Cary was on screen. Cary
replied that he wished he could be, too.

There's a good reason why politicians carefully script and rehearse their
remarks in advance, even the supposedly 'extemporaneous' ones.

~~~
cletus
Well compare it to the utterances from the "other Steve" (Jobs) who takes
brevity to the point of terseness. Compare, for example his D8 interview with,
well, _anyone_ else's.

Ballmer is a disaster for Microsoft and living proof of why you should have a
product guy (not a business wonk) in charge of a technology company.

~~~
mattparcher
Well put. For reference, the transcript of the D8 interview with Steve Jobs:
[http://www.engadget.com/2010/06/01/steve-jobs-live-
from-d8/?...](http://www.engadget.com/2010/06/01/steve-jobs-live-
from-d8/?sort=oldest&refresh=0)

Selected quotes:

[On competing with Google] “We want to make better products then them. What I
love about the marketplace is that we do our products, we tell people about
them, and if they like them, we get to come to work tomorrow. It's not like
that in enterprise... the people who make those decisions are sometimes
confused.”

“We never saw ourselves in a platform war with MSFT, and maybe that's why we
lost.”

[On tablets replacing laptops] “I'm trying to think of a good analogy. When we
were an agrarian nation, all cars were trucks. But as people moved more
towards urban centers, people started to get into cars. I think PCs are going
to be like trucks. Less people will need them. And this is going to make some
people uneasy.”

~~~
ugh
Did Jobs prepare those statements? Probably. Caching is the secret to
articulacy. I think the human brain is just too damn slow to come up with
really good things to say on the fly. You have to know about it, think about
it, talk about it. Again and again. You have to know what people will ask you.

I think that even if you are a bad public speaker you can compensate with good
preparation. You can fine tune and cache your answers. It’s hard work but it
pays off.

~~~
shin_lao
I also think it's because Steve Jobs thinks about that kind of stuff all the
time. It's something he's genuinely interested in.

If you ask me a difficult and deep question about a topic I think about all
the time, I'll probably come up with a nice and concise answer.

I really think a good CEO is someone envisioning the future all the time.
That's what makes the difference. Once you know where you should go, execution
comes naturally.

------
jessriedel
>My netbook has to be coaxed through the day with Wi-Fi switched off in order
to get more than a few hours out of the battery; my 15″ laptop only goes 2-3
hours between charges (newer models may be better, but I can’t change laptops
at the drop of a hat); meanwhile, I find the iPad easy enough to type on in
landscape mode, it turns on/off instantly and, after 8 hours taking notes and
tweeting yesterday, it still had an indicated battery charge of 55%.

Sounds like this guy's real problem is battery life (and, to a lesser extent,
slow resume from sleep), not keyboard vs. no keyboard. The iPad gets 16 hours
or whatever in part because it has a 9.7 inch screen compared to his laptops
15 inches or so. My netbook with a 10.5 inch screen gets 8 real hours of
battery life.

So yes, keyboardlessness is good insofar as it enables you to have a tiny
screen (since a tiny screen with a usable size keyboard would be awkward). But
I only use my netbook 6 or less hours a day, so for me I easily trade the
difference between 8 and 16 hours for a real keyboard. As battery life gets
better, that will make sense for more people, _unless_ keyboardless entry
starts making big progress (which is possible). But even then, I'd still
rather have a larger screen and $200.

~~~
stcredzero
I like how you parenthesized:

 _(and, to a lesser extent, slow resume from sleep)_

That's no small thing. Not only does this change the usability of the machine
_tremendously_ , it has quite a big bearing on battery life. In fact, battery
life is directly affected by how it is used.

The iPad can be used in a way which is fairly close to how one would use a
notepad. You click the "sleep/standby" button and off you go. The
netbook/laptop is a _workstation_ and so wants to soak up all of your
attention for some interval of time.

Also, I bet that that $200 advantage is going to disappear in short order.

~~~
jessriedel
> That's no small thing

I'm not saying it's a small thing. This isn't a netbook vs. iPad argument. I'm
saying the resume-from-sleep speed has to do with good Apple engineering,
_not_ the keyboardless form factor (which is what the OP was defending).

~~~
stcredzero
You have a good point there. I think if someone could engineer a tablet with a
good instant-flip-up keyboard form factor, then this would be a big hit. It
would have to be as fast and easy to use as slide-out keyboards on current
smartphones.

------
brudgers
_"I was also juggling a camera (on my Nokia phone), a voice recorder (on my
iPhone) and taking notes/tweeting on the iPad whilst listening to Mr
Ballmer."_

That strikes me as a lot of redundancy. So, I see Balmer's point when he said,
"I think we can make life a little simpler for people, if we do the right
job."

~~~
auxbuss
Words are cheap. Everyone here knows it's about delivery. So all Ballmer needs
to do now is execute. Personally, I don't think he has the ability. He's a
sales' dude. A one-trick pony. A wealthy one-trick pony, but not a CEO or
business leader.

~~~
brudgers
> _"Words are cheap."_

Yes, I would have to agree.

Indeed, Balmer's use of the conditional, "if we do the right job," might
signify he has made similar observations, and perhaps be taken as evidence
that Balmer is not cut from the same cloth as some other CEO's.

------
mahmud
The article doesn't deliver what the title promises: Steve Ballmer telling
someone what he should do with his iPad.

It's more of a fluff sentimental piece about a guy operating multiple gadgets
while not sitting down comfortably.

~~~
powrtoch
"You can bend over, too" was a pun.

------
grantheaslip
I recently went from a 2007 MacBook to a Lenovo X201 with 9-cell battery, and
it's worth pointing out that the much-improved battery life (3-5 hours ->
maybe 6-9), lower weight (5.5 pounds to 3.5) and heat (uncomfortably warm ->
barely noticeable) have made a _huge_ difference in how I use it. Even the
size difference, though not quite as dramatic, is very noticeable.

I used to really debate whether or not I needed my computer when I left the
house, but now I tend to not think about it (3.5 pounds is pretty negligible,
where 5.5 was verging on uncomfortable to shoulder), and I need to worry a lot
less about preserving battery power than I used to. In that respect, I
definitely see the argument for the iPad in his situation (though it's still
apples to oranges), but if what he really wants is a long battery life and
portability, there are pretty viable options out there that are still full-
fledged computers.

~~~
maguay
I've felt the same way with my netbook. The older HP laptop I used to use was
pokey, got about 1.5 hr. of battery life at best, heavy as lead, and hot
enough to grill meat. Now I use a 10.1" netbook, weighs just under 1kg, only
gets warm with heavy use, and lasts 8hr on battery (or more if you're just
reading from Kindle for PC). It's definately changed how I think about mobile
computing.

------
stuhacking
"Media Center is big and, when people say ‘hey, we could optimise more for
clients’ I think what they generally mean is ‘Big Buttons’. Big Buttons
that’s, I think, a codeword for Big Buttons and Media Center is Big Buttons
not Little Buttons."

So wait... Will there be Big Buttons?

Aside from that, it feels like He's focusing on this one area of UX design. I
hope this doesn't forecast an imbalance in the experience of the finished
product.

It reminds me a little of Web 2.0:

"Web 2.0 is shiny and rounded, and when people say `shiny and rounded' they
really mean `shiny and rounded buttons.'"

~~~
regularfry
I think he's using "big buttons" as a shortcut for the difference between
highly rich, detailed interfaces which present many options all at once, and
more "simplified", more intuitive interfaces which present fewer options, but
where more work has been done to ensure they're the options you really, really
need.

At least, I hope he is. This is Ballmer, after all.

------
stackthat
Is there any point in this post beside of the fact Steve Ballmer mentioned
about this guy vaguely in his talk?

------
sdurkin
Economics is like gravity. It doesn't care if you believe in them. Either way
you're headed for a fall.

------
tnorthcutt
_...touch applications which we will encourage people to write._

This seems like a very telling phrase. If they partner with someone to build a
great tablet device, running a great Windows OS, they won't need to encourage
development for it - the demand will be obvious.

------
viae
Every time I read what comes out of Steve Ballmer's mouth I wonder if that guy
has ever touched a computer. Microsoft's employees need to acquire some
parrots and eye patches. It's mutiny time.

------
xentronium
That's particularly sad. The guys missed a smartphone market, now they miss a
tablet market while they are the ones that should make a decent and usable
alternative.

------
lliiffee
There is some truth in his point about big buttons. The idea of using a
traditional keyboard+mouse interface with software designed for fingers is
actually pretty appealing, just because of the ease of use constraints on the
software.

~~~
Poiesis
Actually, it just continues to show the naïveté at the top.

The article has him saying "Media Center is Big Buttons", as if media center
could solve their problems. I want to give them points for trying, but really
the needs of an interface that's ten feet away and controlled with a remote
are vastly different than one at your fingertips. Yes, they both need to be
bigger in certain ways. But the similarity mostly stops there.

I hate to keep dragging out the Steve Jobs quote, but I really can't think of
a better way to put it. "Design is not just what it looks like and feels like.
Design is how it works."

~~~
konad
Or the similar: "darling, style isn't something you put on after a bath"

------
cies
Wow, I'm shocked. I wonder how long he will be able to get away with this.

~~~
lazugod
Get away with what?

~~~
cies
Avoiding a simple question, not having an answer ready to questions easily
forseen, speaking on the brink of uttering nonsense, making really bad jokes
wrt a competitors product and its user.

I read a transcipt of Ballmers public speaking before and I was then also
shocked by the poor quality of it.

