
Ask HN: What are some resources to improve speaking skills? - throwaway_yc
I get nervous very easily and my heart starts throbbing when it comes to speak to anyone. It is affecting my career. How can I fix it?<p>What are the resources to improve speaking skill?
======
the_watcher
There's a reason Toastmasters is so recommended in this thread: it's really
good at what it is, so try that out.

For other options, try speaking a lot more in low pressure situations. At
work, try small groups to start. Ask your manager if you can lead a team
meeting where the agenda is defined, and your role is just to facilitate
discussion. Present your work to 3 teammates and ask them to hold questions
until the end.

In your personal life, if you are a regular at a coffee shop or lunch place
and see the same person repeatedly, learn their name, then ask them how they
are doing whenever you see them. Try to actually answer with something
specific when people ask how you are doing. If you have kids or access to them
(young relatives), try reading out loud to them. Join a writing seminar that
asks you to read your work out loud.

The above are just a laundry list of ideas, the point is basically "find low
pressure environments to speak, do it as often as possible, vary the
scenarios."

------
RandomBacon
Toastmasters is great.

The meetings are structured with an agenda, the toastmaster for the meeting
makes sure the agenda is followed and stays on topic.

They've made the program more dynamic. I don't know the new details very well
and not sure how I feel about it. It used to be everyone received a workbook
on how to deliver ten short speeches about varrying topics, but now you can
customize it and I think they use an online website/program to keep track of
that.

Everything at a meeting is always explained to everyone, and everyone I've met
at Toastmasters meetings have been very nice.

You can use the website
([https://www.toastmasters.org](https://www.toastmasters.org)) to find a
meeting near you and usually just drop in, but it's always polite to give them
a head's up that you'll be visiting.

~~~
jasonlotito
I just want to reinforce this. Toastmasters is where you want to go. The
quality of the speakers is excellent, but more importantly, they are
incredibly kind and understand to people who aren't great speakers. This is
literally the answer I came here to find, and post it if it wasn't.
Toastmasters 100%.

------
achenatx
I was a disaster at speaking until I was in grad school and had to teach
classes (6+ hours/week). At some point you get enough volume and it becomes no
big deal. You start focusing on trying to educate or amuse your audience and
are no longer nervous. The key is to get enough practice. Toastmasters is one
way to get started, but nothing beats the volume you get by signing up to
teach a class several times a week.

~~~
hammerbrostime
Same experience here with teaching, it has had a huge secondary benefit for me
in that I know how to run a room. I also highly recommend running a meetup.

------
khazhou
I would suggest, if this is at phobia-level for you, it's worth thinking about
_why_ you're getting so nervous.

I went from enjoying public speaking to absolutely dreading it (feeling like
I'm falling off a cliff, trembling voice, sudden drops in blood pressure
leading to _complete_ loss of train-of-thought). This was literally career-
limiting, and I could see how I was being excluded from projects that would
require presenting to VPs + execs.

I spent a lot of time reflecting on it, and realized what had happened was
that I had taken over management of a failing project, and I wasn't turning it
around. Our VP was extremely harsh, and drew out everyone's professional
failures/limitations. But I realized that my sudden and complete inability to
present, was linked to me "knowing" that my work sucked, or knowing that no
matter what I said, it was gonna end badly with me looking like an idiot.

So I would suggest you might think about whether the public-speaking
nervousness also happens when you're asked to present something you're happy,
proud, and knowledgable about, or whether it's connected to insecurity in your
work, project, or your own mastery of the material you're presenting.

------
m1nes
I talk for a living. It takes time to improve. Some quick and dirty tips
(sorry, english not my first language):

\- Relax and meditate

\- Practice a LOT. Everyday. Even two minutes helps.

\- Learn to breath properly

\- Record yourself speaking aloud at home with your phone. Make notice of all
the nuances of the voice

\- Prepare your material very well

\- Visualize you are explaining the stuff to a friend at home. It will help
you sound more natural.

Getting nervous is normal and part of the game.

~~~
thomasjudge
\- Record yourself speaking aloud at home with your phone. Make notice of all
the nuances of the voice

This. Better yet video yourself. REALLY painful but REALLY helpful.

------
FillardMillmore
Some have mentioned this, but it's true: jump at every opportunity you have to
do any kind of public speaking gig - whether it's a 10 minute thing or a 2
hour thing.

This is what I've done - and though the first time is incredibly nerve-
wracking, especially if it's a longer presentation, it only gets easier from
that point on. But you do want to make sure that you know your material very
well - the goal is to be as knowledgeable as possible of the topic on which
you are speaking. Be prepared for questions.

Personally, I've found that presenting the topic to a friend or family
beforehand helps immensely. Writing and reading your PowerPoint (or
equivalent) is one thing, but learning how to transition naturally from point-
to-point and from slide-to-slide is something else entirely. You'll also find,
while presenting, mistakes that you didn't notice simply by reading through it
and you can correct those mistakes before they serve to embarrass you
publicly.

I recommend staying away from coffee before presentations and instead, drink
an herbal caffeine-free tea to calm your nerves (chamomile works wonders for
me).

------
nscalf
I was not a very good public speaker (or general communicator), and it would
make me feel uncomfortable having to have some normal conversations like
ordering food. Nothing too severe, it didn't really interfere with my life,
but it bothered me that it wasn't a very easy thing for me even though it was
a daily part of my life. I think the most impactful way that I have improved
this is sort of different from what a lot of people have recommended: Ask
strangers how their day is going.

You're ordering a coffee? Well that barista has had a day, and you should ask
them about it! It takes them a few seconds to ring you up, "I'll have a medium
coffee, black, thanks! How has your day been?" People are usually very happy
to be asked how their day is going, and you get the chance to practice small
talk. After a while it feels natural, and you cheer up most of the people you
interact with.

------
marviel
If you can find a supportive local improv troupe, that allows you to take
classes, or has open "Jams" \-- I would HIGHLY recommend taking said classes,
or attending such jams. Learning how to perform improv (particularly, longform
improv) has taught me a difficult-to-exhaustively-enumerate set of skills that
are not limited to public speaking, such as:

\- Focused Observation / Listening ( _insanely_ important, this)

\- Ability to Deal with the Unexpected

\- Empathy / Emotional Intelligence

\- Negotiation (If you've played being on both sides of the table, you know
what the other side wants)

\- Cooperation

\- Banter

\- Storytelling

\- Emotional Endurance

\- Interpersonal Relationship Creation and Maintenance

\- ...

In addition to these skills, I've also found myself a lot happier, being able
to engage in a creative activity within a supportive community which offers
something completely novel each time I attend.

When I moved cities, I started a new improv troupe in that city, because it
means that much to me.

Check it out. :)

~~~
ariosto
I recently signed up for a local improv 101. It's fun and super difficult
coming from someone who is not quick on their feet. I've got a lot to learn.
Any tips for someone who is introverted and not super witty?

I was debating between improv and toastmasters and picked improv since I
thought it would be more fun.

~~~
marviel
That's awesome, I wish you the best of luck :)

Firstly, I should say, that depending on what your definition of "witty" is,
you might be focusing on the symptom, rather than the cause. The appearance of
wittiness, is fundamentally linked to an advanced ability to listen carefully
to what is happening _right now_ , both in your physical/social/(other domain)
surroundings, and within your own mind/body. The ability to do all this is
itself much more fundamentally important than I first realized when I started
improv -- which I should mention, I also started because I wanted to be
wittier :)

In essence, I would recommend that if you are looking to have a witty comment,
you first focus on really learning to listen carefully and pay attention to
what is happening _right now_. The skill of observation. You will notice some
people in your class are not as good at listening. Perhaps you will offer a
concept, and it is totally forgotten with the next sentence they say. Notice
that these people always seem to be thinking of things _ahead of time_ ,
rather than listening truly to what their partner _just said_ , or was trying
to convey with their body language. These people will not be able to make good
scenes, because a "good scene" has created a temporary universe which -- even
if it has ridiculous laws -- is _internally consistent_. If you are not
listening you will miss when these laws & state are established, and you will
cause contradictions in the universe you're making. If this happens the
audience will be completely thrown off, and will find the scene distasteful,
though they may not know why. The audience LOVES to see you care about made-up
details of the universe.

I could ramble on about the subject... email me if you're interested in
talking about it further... but here are a few other tips:

\- Learn to agree with others. The best improvisers I know will agree with
even the silliest of premises. Denial kills scenes. This is the fundamental
rule.

\- Learn to add details.

\- Learn that not every sentence needs to be funny. The humor comes from the
building of the self-consistent universe. I promise you will get the
opportunity to say "the funny, laugh-getting line" eventually, if you build a
self-consistent universe, and you and your partner care about its details.

\- Be okay with silence, on that same note.

\- Make bold character choices, but again, make your character have a
believable internal consistency within the rules of your universe

\- Anything is possible in the universe of the scene -- but once a "law" or
"truth" has been established, you cannot re-establish it.

\- The previous rule does not mean that your character and universe cannot
grow and change -- character growth is something to be desired -- but there
_must be a reason_ in the universe for the change to have come about. Again,
internal consistency.

\- _Do not worry_ if it takes some time to come up with a response. It is more
important to prioritize listening and fully understanding what has been
communicated by your partner, than it is to prioritize the speed of your next
move. New improvisers will, almost without fail, prioritize the speed of their
response over their response's quality. Don't fall into this trap.

\- At the same time, don't _overthink_ it. You can do this by making sure that
you're measuring the quality of your response purely based on the fact that
what you're saying is (1) listening to what your partner said, (2) saying
_yes_ to some component of what they gave you, and (3) adding some new
information. That's it. If all you're trying to do is meet those three
criterion, you have a _very_ solid bedrock.

\- Improv maxims and teachings can be notoriously cryptic at first; and in
many ways it's still an art that is difficult to succinctly & fully
communicate in English. Don't get discouraged if you don't understand your
teacher, or the things I've just said... just understand that there are truths
contained within each phrase

At the end of the day, the last tip is that the funniest things, the most side
splitting laughs, are going to come from the "truths" about the real world you
and I live in, that you can express through the scenes you create.

Anyway, sorry for the long response. I am very passionate about this subject,
obviously, and I hope that some of this information can help you.

------
smars1245
Propranolol (beta blocker) will help. It shuts down the fight or flight
mechanism in your brain. It calms your voice, your heartbeat and your nerves.
It's really amazing...

[https://www.consumerreports.org/cro/2012/04/can-you-treat-
st...](https://www.consumerreports.org/cro/2012/04/can-you-treat-stage-
fright/index.htm)

I pop 4-5 of this 1 hour before a big meeting or presentation. I've also used
them at private gatherings when I'm speaking in front of a larger group. Works
really well. Tell your DR about your public speaking fears and he/she will
more than likely prescribe you a beta-blocker.

~~~
huangc10
So to sum up your solution in one word, drugs. Nothing against it Propranolol
but I just found it amusing drugs can almost be the solution to a lot of
biological problems.

~~~
smars1245
For most people, it's the fear and nervousness of public speaking that's the
problem (not the content, knowledge, or skills of the presenter.) This fear
can hold people back (it did for me). I'm sure Toastmasters would have the
same impact (and I went to a few TM meetings) but I couldn't make it work with
my other commitments. Propranolol is immediate and from a personal experience,
it was extremely helpful for my career, confidence, etc.

~~~
huangc10
All good, I get it. Like I said before, it makes sense and sometimes drugs is
the solution. For ex. (since I've been watching a lot of baseball recently),
Roman could be the go-to solution to ED. I just find it amusing that there is
a drug to help with anything/everything.

~~~
smars1245
I'm sure in our lifetime we will see CRISPR replacing drugs as the panacea to
these "biological" issues.

~~~
pastage
CRISPR and drugs both have the same problem though, they lead to physical
damage IF they go wrong (which they always do for some). I had a medical need
for adrenaline blockers it gave me terrible nightmares for weeks, changing
meds did not help.

They obviously did help you, so anyone else just be careful, biology is
complex.

~~~
smars1245
Sorry to hear that and I agree with your sage advice to be careful.

------
DoreenMichele
If you have any health issues, tend to those. Anxiety can be a side effect of
things like blood sugar issues. Being physically healthier can help reduce the
incidence of anxiety attacks.

It's generally useful to wonder what other people want or need. Most people
spend a lot of their time in social settings worried about being judged by
others, hurt in some way, etc.

If you are focused on putting others at ease, things will go smoother and then
this success will help calm your nervousness and can lead to a positive
feedback loop that goes good places.

I can be a ball of nerves, but other people have told me I don't look it. I
have been told that's surprising news because I seem so calm.

That's probably in large part because I'm aware that my subjective experience
of the thing and my performance aren't necessarily directly related and the
important piece is performance.

(This comment is not comprehensive. I'm just hoping to add new thoughts not
already covered by other comments.)

------
sixhobbits
I got a 2 month gig lecturing basic CS after finishing my degree. It was a
pretty transformative experience - the first two lectures were among the worst
experiences of my life! Panic in front of 200 people. After that it was fine.

Since then volunteered recently to speak at tech meetups, etc. Organizers are
usually very happy to find more speakers! Still get the heart rate increase,
sweaty palms, etc but apparently it no longer affects my speaking :)

------
omarhaneef
This is easy:

1\. Prepare

2\. Practice

\- Toastmasters (or similar group) is a good way to practice

\- Meetup groups will ask for speakers if toastmasters is not available

\- You could also record yourself, and revise

~~~
aklemm
This is pretty much all there is to it. Perhaps study others closely as well.

------
__blockcipher__
This doesn't actually answer your question as far as a pointer to resources,
but here's some tips:

\- Take a breath before you begin speaking. Often I'd find that I'd start
speaking too quickly and my voice wasn't "ready" which ends up making you
sound squeaky or out of breath or just generally flustered. This tip also
helps a bit with the tendency to speak way too fast.

\- If you have room to move around, don't be afraid to walk back and forth
across the stage/platform/front of the room etc. Don't over-do it, but I find
it's way easier for me to speak while I'm moving.

\- At least for myself, I've found that moments where I feel like I really
stumbled over my words, or spoke too quietly/loudly, or "forgot a line",
actually end up being very noticeable when I later watch the video recordings.

\- Public speaking is very opinionated and some people have some pretty
pedantic rules. For example toastmasters is really aggressive about chiding
you for using the word "umm". Now there's perhaps some truth to it - the role
of a word like "umm" is to indicate that your brain is searching for what to
say but still produce sound thus "holding your space" (so that no-one else
cuts in), so in one sense I get why it's recommended against because when
giving a talk there's no risk of someone cutting into you; your audience is
captive (usually). However in another sense, "umm"-ing helps keep a certain
rhythm/tempo to your speech which can actually help keep things smooth when
you're searching for what to say.

Similar to the above, virtually every "rule" of public speech can be broken if
you have the fundamental principles right. Barack Obama says "uhh" quite
frequently, yet most people consider him charismatic. You could certainly
argue that he's charismatic in spite of saying "uhh" rather than because of
it, but in any case just remember not to miss the forest for the trees. Follow
the principles - measured speech, don't be afraid to use space, try to talk
more or less naturally - and you'll be a great public speaker.

Lastly, _public speaking is a skill_. It takes practice. If you can find a
room to yourself, practice giving a talk a bunch, and make sure to record
yourself. You'll likely be very surprised in the difference between your
perception of yourself and how you actually come off, and having recorded
videos is a great way to identify any tics/odd habits you have that you might
want to work on.

------
efm
Patrick Winston of MIT gave a good series of lectures on how to give a
presentation:
[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9F536001A3C605FC](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9F536001A3C605FC)
His explanation of why writing things on a board and slow pacing is helpful
for your audience made sense to me.

------
someguy12133
The reality is that speaking is a physical skill similar to any over physical
activity. How do you get better at riding a bike? You ride it a lot. How do
you get better at speaking? You speak a lot. Verbal communication is something
I long struggled with and I used to look for all kinds of solutions but then,
one day, I decided I was going to start talking into a microphone and record
myself talking about whatever topic I wanted to talk about. In my day job I
work at home and rarely talk to anyone, at the time I used to also live alone
in a suburb area way on the edge of my city, basically I was pretty isolated
and already a bit depressed so my daily opportunities to talk to others
weren't very many.

At first, trying to talk for 10 minutes straight seemed very weird. I realized
my mouth would get sore, etc, I would sometimes physically get tired of
talking and make mistakes in what I said.

After doing this for about a month though I eventually started getting better
at it and even posted some videos on YouTube where I narrated. I was also
finding that I had less trouble expressing myself and being understood when
talking with other people.

This isn't a cure all and it's not going to solve all anxieties related to
public speaking but I really believe it can help most people. Many jobs
nowadays don't require much talking and some people can easily get by nowadays
with much less verbal communication than they probably is used to so I think
this approach is something at least worth considering.

As an aside, this has also led to be developing a much greater appreciation
for verbal communication, including music, listening to different accents and
I have also been learning a foreign language. This isn't strictly relevant to
becoming a better speaker but I feel like my approach eventually opened up a
new appreciation for language and communication that was completely lacking
from my life before.

------
mrskitch
Not a big one, but one that I found helped a lot: cutting out the "filler"
words ("like", "uh", "so"...). These fill words are used in many place to hold
onto the listeners attention, but doing it too much can make your talk non-
dynamic, and your audience will stop listening.

We have somewhat primal instincts that make us maintain focus on subtle things
like body movement and differences in speech, or even lack thereof. So moving
slowly from one spot to another, talking with your hands, and having _gaps_ in
your speech will help your audience naturally maintain focus.

Filler words are easy to remove: just practice not saying them when you're
having conversations with the clerk at the store or your friends/family. You'd
be surprised how effective it is, and how much more polished you'll sound.

~~~
clickme_zsh
With experience and some anxiety resistance filler words can be filtered out
as you said. It does detract ones attention from the speaker and reduces the
quality of the talk. It is a long process.

~~~
mrskitch
It's well worth the effort as it it will also pay dividends in the longer
term. Speaking wo filler words in normal conversations (especially in the
workplace) can help you immensely.

------
clickme_zsh
I used to have anxiety attacks when I was in school, I had stage fright from
my child hood, I avoided crowd, never participated in extra curricular
activities unless it was forced or mandatory and even then I used to find
reasons to skip it. I dreaded that I would stand out and become a laughing
stock. But in my 8th grade one of my teachers pushed me to present a lot of
projects regularly. At first I tried to find way out of them but slowly I got
around the fear bit by bit and Now thankfully I am in a better position when
it comes to presentation, talks and general speaking skills. I guess one can
confront fear bit by bit and chew through the pain/trauma and build
resistance. That's all just wanted to share my experience hope it helps.

------
Thriptic
I have this problem as well. I have gotten around it in a few ways:

First, practice what you are going to say RIGOROUSLY. You should be able to
recite your full speech / pitch / presentation / whatever with no use of
visual aids. Basically, you should memorize it. I always assume that I will be
~20% worse while performing than while practicing, so if I can do the whole
presentation without visual aids while practicing then the visual aids will be
sufficient to save me if I get in trouble while presenting. Most people rely
on their visual aids as a huge crutch during practice, and as a result they
forget what they want to say and end up staring at their PowerPoint or
notecards during the entire presentation as opposed to engaging with the
audience. They come off as nervous and unprepared. Further, using your visual
aids as a crutch incentivizes creating verbose slides as an insurance
mechanism which is why most PowerPoints you see are shit.

Second, realize that public speaking is fundamentally about telling a story. A
good story and a good presentation should share the same elements: they should
be amusing and engaging (always work in some humor and audience interactions
to engage the audience, many of whom probably don't want to be there and will
fall asleep otherwise); they should be concise (don't go on tangents); key
take aways should be clearly stated and there shouldn't be a data dump; there
should be a natural flow and verbal transitions should be employed as if you
were speaking to a friend; etc. Finally, know your audience. What do they care
about / want to see? What do they already know? How can they be persuaded or
amused?

Third, as other posters have mentioned, the only way to get better at this is
to practice. Go find opportunities to practice. It only takes a few good
presentations to shake the fear of being a bad presenter / acquire the rep of
being a good presenter.

Finally, realize that the stakes are pretty low normally. Most of the
presentations I sit through are awful (even those from C suite people who
basically present for a living) and most people can't speak or convey
information well. As such, I rarely remember when people bomb as bad
performance is the norm.

------
dahart
Many years ago in college I was skydiving with an adrenaline junky friend who
would sign up for public speaking at any opportunity just to make himself
nervous on purpose. He enjoyed the thrill of having his heart start throbbing,
and even liked not being very prepared. While I recommend lots of preparation
for public speaking, I do really like the idea of embracing being scared of
speaking as part of the fun, and I’ve tried to borrow that attitude and make
it part of my own personal narrative. I guess it helped because these days I
always jump at the chance to give a conference talk.

------
la_fayette
There is probably no shortcut to that skill. Try to find speaking
opportunities on topics you know about, e.g. at meetups. It is better to start
in front of a smaller group (10 people), from my experience nervosity is lower
when in front of a smaller group. Record your talk and listen to it afterwards
in detail and find things you want to improve. Don't hesitate to ask for
feedback from others, and don't take it too personel. Try to be objective like
you would train for a sports challenge.

Every public talk will improve your skillset a bit, so you need to just do it!

------
niklearnstodev
This is a tricky one, because there are a few different facets or domains
relevant to the topic. Two major ones that immediately come to mind are public
speaking and conversational speaking.

I'm very good at conversational speaking, and I think that it mostly comes
from listening to a ton of podcasts. This has helped me gain curiosity across
a wide range of topics, but has also helped me learn how to dig into those
topics via conversation. For this, pick topics you're interested in (perhaps
some in fields that you're not fully interested in yet, to broaden your
ability to converse across domains!). Also, while listening, look for traits
that you admire in conversationalists, and try to practice them when speaking
with others (this is a similar approach that can be used to learning anything,
really).

As for public speaking, from what I've heard, Toastmasters is as good as it
gets. They provide a learning and training environment. Then it's up to you to
try it out "in production" (at work, weddings, etc).

Remember that it's a learning experience, and it will only get better with
time via analysis, practice, and persistence!

~~~
danysdragons
Are there any podcasts that you would especially recommend for building
conversational prowess?

------
acak
I'll give a shout out to Speeko! (I'm not affiliated with them in any way)

[https://speeko.co](https://speeko.co)

A testimonial (also unaffiliated): [https://www.speeko.co/blog/beth-tucker-
interview](https://www.speeko.co/blog/beth-tucker-interview)

------
hemmert
This book is, Ole coached me for TEDx - after which my talk was uploaded also
to TED.com:

[https://www.amazon.de/Agile-Presentation-Design-
innovators-p...](https://www.amazon.de/Agile-Presentation-Design-innovators-
presentations/dp/3000630244)

------
linsomniac
A few thoughts, as someone who went from being deathly afraid of talking in
front of the class in Junior High School, to presenting well over 100 times:

\- Just do it: Find opportunities to talk in front of people. Come up with
things you know about, and find meetups or similar, and talk. Part of it is
just getting familiar with it.

\- Watch other people do it: Find other presentations that have lots of views
and/or that you enjoy watching, and figure out what you like about them. Then
try to do a similar thing.

\- Figure out what you want to say: I've spent a lot of time talking
impromptu. The talks I like the most, and the feedback I've gotten, has been
refine your message and practice your presentation and pacing. The best talks
I've seen really had their message refined.

------
wrnr
Practice it as much as possible, I stutter and developed selective mutism
because of it. Speaking used to agonising to me but in my mid twenties I got
cured of my stutter. Don't know how it happened, but one day I realised I
hadn't stuttered in months while before I was anxious everytime I had to open
my mouth. Now I have a bigger vocabulary than most, in part thanks to my
avoidance strategies around certain words.

------
lcall
There is some good advice in this discussion. My own personal checklist for
when I have to give a talk. Not perfect but it helps me:
[http://lukecall.net/e-9223372036854744342.html](http://lukecall.net/e-9223372036854744342.html)

(It is oriented for church but the steps would largely be the same elsewhere.)

------
wcip
I found this YouTube channel yesterday and it appears helpful:
[https://www.youtube.com/user/charismaoncommand?itct=CCcQ6p4E...](https://www.youtube.com/user/charismaoncommand?itct=CCcQ6p4EIhMIjcKKsKnH5QIViVWYCh0p7wXh&csn=JEK7XbWyHonl4QSTnZeQAw&wlfg=true)

------
throw_675876585
Beta-blockers are often used for performance anxiety. They block physical
symptoms of anxiety caused by adrenaline. They're safe and cheap.
[https://patient.info/medicine/propranolol-a-beta-
blocker](https://patient.info/medicine/propranolol-a-beta-blocker)

------
bradam
Although most of the advices focuses on specific techniques (which is very
important to focus on), I want to emphasize something different: diet and
lifestyle.

Without sounding too obvious, I can not recommend you enough reducing caffeine
and alcohol use (if its a problem) and focusing on sporting regularly.

------
vnglst
It’s like doing software releases: if it hurts, do it more often.

So accept every opportunity you get to practice.

------
davio
If your work will pay for it, I've had good results sending people to the Dale
Carnegie course.

One of my engineers had almost crippling anxiety speaking in front of even
small groups. After the course, she had the confidence to speak up and lead
meetings.

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tmaly
Have you see this course?

[https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PL9F536001A3C605FC&v=RjbmPu...](https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PL9F536001A3C605FC&v=RjbmPuhuFv0)

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ken
An old friend of mine who was very comfortable with speaking told me it was
acting that helped him. You get to practice saying someone else's words, until
you're ready to use your own.

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durnygbur
Read a book loudly. Listen to audiobook or a language course and repeat
simultaneously after the lector. Try doing these in different languages. Drink
water while doing these.

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JoshTriplett
[https://speaking.io/](https://speaking.io/) has an extensive set of useful
advice.

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i00m
I recommend this book: "it's not all about me" \- robin dreeke

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soapdog
Hi,

I am a part of a program at Mozilla called Mozilla Tech Speakers and we help
people to become better public speakers. By your message, I'm guessing that
public speaking is not your focus buuuut we do have a lot of resources that
might be helpful. You can find them at:

[https://wiki.mozilla.org/TechSpeakers#Resources_for_Speakers](https://wiki.mozilla.org/TechSpeakers#Resources_for_Speakers)

If I can give you a couple fly-by tips, I'd say:

* Do not compare yourself with extroverted people. Speaking comes quite easy and naturally for some but that doesn't mean it should be like this for everyone. We're quite unique and what works for one person might not work for others. AS long as you're making progress, you're doing good and you're the only one who can decide what progress look like for you. Don't measure yourself using "other people rulers".

* If you have a group of trusted friends that you could meet (online is fine) regularly, you could do an exercise that helps a lot, more about it at the end of this comment. This exercise is my favorite thing ever and the most useful thing in this comment to be honest.

* Small meetups are a great place to start practicing talking to people. They are low pressure and low stakes. If you want, find a small meetup that you enjoy. Go for a while as a listener until you create some relationships there and feel safe. Then, when you want, try giving a small talk (5 min). It works quite well if there is someone you trust there and you can do this as a pair. Pairing with more experienced people makes talking easier (you both might want to practice together first).

So, back to the exercie and the actual very useful thing in this whole wall of
text. It goes like this:

* Find a group of trusted people. I think it needs to be a group of three people for this to be useful, in my mind the ideal group is five people.

* Meet regularly, online or IRL. Whatever regularly means is up to you all.

* Decide on a topic for the meeting before hand. It doesn't need to be tech, but it usually is. It is fun to do themes, for example Halloween topic.

* Prepare a 2 minutes talk about that topic.

* You'll take turns. One person will give their two minutes talk, others will listen.

* Each of the listeners will then give their feedback and this is important because there is a structure to it. The feedback must be one of two kinds. The listener can either talk about what they liked from your talk or what they want to see/hear more about. There is not space for negative comments or criticism. You can only praise something or say what you want to see more about. It is this way so that it creates a safe space. People can talk without the fear of being criticized. It works better than providing "constructive criticism" because instead of prunning what you see as problems, you're steering the person towards what you see as strenghs, this is better for both you and them.

This exercise is done for all the Mozilla Tech Speakers cohorts, we've done
this with hundreds of people and the same technique is used by Universities
and courses on public speaking. It is a proven thing and has a name, but I
forgot the name and anyway the content is more important than the name.

If your fear of speaking is related to potential live feedback from people,
you might want to experiment with analog asynchronous forms of getting your
opinions and content out like making zines. They can convey the same content
but allow you to practice finding a voice, a style, and gain confidence in
exposing your own ideas without the fear of live audience.

Hope this helped!

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trilinearnz
I'm an effective public speaker and really enjoy it (especially the responses
I get afterwards). Here are a few of my tips:

1\. Rehearse your presentation enough beforehand (including immediately before
in another meeting room if possible) such that you are able to run on auto-
pilot after the first few minutes. Can't emphasise how crucial this is.

2\. Conduct your presentation so you're speaking naturally about particular
points, rather than trying to remember an exact script (the act of trying to
remember what you are "supposed" to say may be causing you anxiety). If you
have rehearsed enough, and know enough about your subject, it should be
possible for you to do this.

3\. Recognise that you might need to write a script to begin with, when
preparing your presentation. This can help ground you, and gives you something
to start from. Once you have rehearsed it a few times, you should start
developing a "rhythm" that feels more natural to you, and this is when you can
start "winging it" a bit more. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with bringing
your script / notes with you on the day. This will give you a feeling of
security (you have a backup in case you freeze). By the time the end of the
presentation rolls around, you may find you never needed to unfold your notes
at all.

4\. You will always feel nervous in advance, to some degree. This degree is
lessened with lots of prior rehearsal, but it will still be there. Accept it
as normal, and don't think that because you're nervous you are destined to
fail. After the first few minutes, that's when your "flow" will start kicking
in, and things will begin to happen naturally.

5\. When developing your presentation, try to empathise as much from the
audience's perspective as possible / take a very skeptical view on your
material. If you then convey your presentation in this manner, you will easily
be able to get your audience on side with you. This helps you get to the
"flow" state more quickly than if you are talking at odds to people, and they
keep their wall up.

6\. Hopefully you are presenting about something that you are interested in or
passionate about, or at least know enough about to be confident. Let your
energy and confidence out into your presentation style. Don't be afraid to use
big gestures, and convey your passion in your voice. Think of it less as a
recitation of a script, and more of a powerful and fun _experience_ that your
audience is being taken along with. Think of your presentation less in terms
of merely conveying dry information, but to "entertain" your audience.
Emphasise dramatic flair to create interest from your audience. This comes
more easily to some people than others (I have a drama background). People
respond really well to this if you can pull it off.

7\. Information retention in your audience increases by a lot if you get them
to participate in some way. This can be more than just the cliche'd "everyone
raise their hand if you have heard of X". If you do this well, and empathise
with your audience's reluctance to participate (e.g. say "now I know everybody
just loves these audience participation activities! /s"), they can be a really
nice break to the monotony of a presentation, and is another tool to get your
audience on side with you.

8\. The more punchy and interactive things you can do during your presentation
to grab your audience's attention, the easier it will be for you. Rather than
looking out at a sea of bored faces checking their cellphones, you will see
everyone's eyes looking directly at you, and can feel the expectancy in the
air. This is a very powerful state to be in, some people refer to it as
"holding the audience in the palm of their hand". Good luck!

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Digg_mov
duolingo.com

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lowken10
I transformed my life by participating in Toastmasters for about a year an a
half. Here's the thing, to get good at something you need the following..

* Training * Practice * Feedback * Show up and do it over and over again

Toastmasters provides all four of these ingredients.

~~~
Ididntdothis
“I transformed my life by participating in Toastmasters for about a year an a
half. ”

Same here. The time investment is quite small compared to what you can get out
of it. my main regret is that I didn’t learn about toastmasters when I was 18.
My life could have gone quite differently.

