
Ask HN: Career and family, can we have both? - throwaway021
Hi HN,<p>This looks like Quora like question, but I am really interested in what you guys think.<p>I started writing code since 10 years old, I did a PhD and really liked working on complex problems. At the end of the thesis, my wife and I got our first kid, two years later the second one. We decided to stay in the same town to be close to the family (which is really helpful), but there is not that much &quot;great&quot; opportunities around here in tech. Meanwhile, all those who were PhD students with me left to other countries and found amazing positions.<p>It has been a while that I&#x27;m feeling depressed... I love being close to relatives, but at the same time I would love to work on amazing things...<p>I&#x27;m not looking for &quot;solutions&quot;, but for wisdom :)
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onion2k
You can but you need to be in a position where either you earn enough so that
your partner doesn't work (if you have one), or that you earn enough to pay
for fulltime childcare, or that you work in a role where childcare is
provided. If you have children before you're in that position it'll
essentially be impossible to get there because you'll be uncompetitive in the
workplace so you're stuck where you are now.

This is a serious problem with the tech industry, and a large factor in why
tech companies fail to attract women (and consequently why there's such a
shortage of developers). The good news is that tech founders recognise the
problem and are, albeit very slowly, doing something about it.

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gus_massa
PhD in which subject? In Math you can survive without too much money, in
Chemistry you need a lot of money to buy fancy compounds, ...

Also, in some areas it's easy to collaborate at long distance. Can you try to
do some work with your friends?

[And also sometimes the positions in other countries are too time consuming.
Enjoy your family. :)]

