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Ask HN: Techniques for maintaining mental health while shutting down a startup?
9 points by garrickvanburen on Aug 4, 2022 | hide | past | favorite | 4 comments
For me there was always unexpected grief realizing it was time to shut down my digital products and the corresponding corporate entities. In fact, there are pieces of some of my efforts I’m still not ready to say good bye to.

I’m wondering about techniques and resources, that helped you process and work through the mental health side of stopping a startup.




Treat it like any kind of traumatic event that causes grief, like divorce, death of a family member, etc: lean on your support system, talk to a therapist if you need additional help, focus on taking one single step at a time, and try to take care of yourself in terms of food and sleep.

Most of all, be kind to yourself. You’re suffering, and it’s hard, but you’re not alone. This is just part of being human, of having limitations and having things not go as we want. We all go through it, it’s just your turn right now. You’ll get through this too, just breathe and take one step at a time.

EDIT: oh, and in terms of actual resources, I’ve found meditation and breathwork to be fantastic. I currently use the Waking Up app and Wim Hof videos from YouTube, but I’ve also found that live group sessions are easier to stick to. There are online ones too.

There’s a book called “It’s Grief” by Edy Nathan that my therapist wrote that I found helpful when going through divorce.

And finally, lectures by the spiritual teacher Ram Dass have been life-changing to me. You can find them on Audible, YouTube, or your favorite podcast app. I like “Experiments in Truth” and “Becoming Nobody” on Audible. When I was younger I dismissed this stuff as woo drivel, but as I’ve aged (and gone through more suffering), I’ve found much more wisdom in it.

This is just what’s been helpful for me, it may or may not be for you.


Even if the startup was unsuccessful, I bet you learned a lot along the way. Reflecting on how much you've grown may help you feel fulfilled by the experience.

That said, "grief" is the right word to use. The University of Helsinki ran a study comparing activity in the reward centers of the brains of entrepreneur parents. The study concludes that love of one's business and love of kids light up similar reward pathways in an MRI scan.[1]

I would work with a therapist to coach me through the grieving process. Think of it like hiring a personal fitness coach for your mental health.

[1] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/hbm.23562


Some things are salvageable and you always can find ways to do repurposing of some of the work you did.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repurposing


Listen to sigma rule song. It is not you shutting down a startup. It is you opening doors to your new ones where you can reuse what worked and recreate what didnt.




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