Remote workers, how do you stop thinking about work?

[ampham]

It’s the end of your work day. You close your laptop. You step away from your desk. Your head is hurting from eye strain. You’re telling yourself to chill out but your mind keeps going back to work.

You’re thinking, did I rub people the wrong way with my presentation? How am I going to solve this problem that seems so hard to solve? What if I fail?

What do you do to stop ruminating about work and get on with your life outside of work?

[IndepAmoeba]

I end each day by writing everything on my mind in a journal. Todos, ideas to explore, details about work in progress, people to talk to, etc. Very stream-of-consciousness, no filter, no organization. Just get it all on the page.

Every time I find myself thinking about work in the evening, I walk back over to my desk and add to the journal entry.

I find the biggest cause (for me) is having ideas bouncing around in my head that don't exist elsewhere. Maybe it's an idea that's not concrete enough to become a Jira ticket yet, or a vague sense that "we should do thing X". Once it's written I can forget about it, and pick it up the next morning.

[noud → IndepAmoeba]

+1

I do exactly the same. Just journal all your thoughts, ideas, worries, and things to do into one joint place. The idea is that you don't have to ruminate anymore, because it's on paper and you can start on it the next day.

[foreigner → IndepAmoeba]

Same. Putting something down on paper let's me take it out of my mind.

[muzani]

It's just habit development. Developing any new habit requires a lot of energy the first few days. So you have to will through it when it starts.

Thinking of what you could have done better is good. Ruminating is dangerous, a downwards spiral of anxiety and rumination.

I'd write down thoughts to blog. Most of the time I throw it away after writing it down, only rarely is it blogged. HN is an outlet for that. But once you write it down, it's settled, you can tell your brain to go to bed.

But you need some willpower. Meditation helps. A run helps too, physical focus is another form of meditation. Commuting was a form of meditation - can't drive without a lot of focus, which left my mind unable to ruminate too much.

[marek_leisk2]

At some point you need to realise you only need to go to work to make money and further your career. Then, self employment becomes a natural path to turn to. When you eventually find clients, at some point you'll realise selling tech, rather than coding it, is much more important. It's at that point that the day-to-day of your current client's businesses isn't important and finding more clients is all that matters.

[bennyelv]

I’ve found that doing a “commute” works really well.

When I used to be office based I would have a 45 min bike ride to get home, and after a stressful day I would find myself therapeutically going over the happenings of the day, cataloguing my thoughts, and generally allowing my mind to churn through it all.

The intensity of this would gradually decrease throughout the ride until the final 15-20 mins where I would have a clear mind and just be focused on riding.

I recreate this now that I’m remote by jumping on my bike as soon as I’m done for the day. Clears the mind and gets in my daily exercise all in one!

[theonemind]

If you didn't have those problems with non-remote work, perhaps try to recreate about non-remote-work that stopped those problems from occurring.

Maybe you don't feel a clear boundary between work and home life? For whatever reason, my mental context goes by the hours on the clock. I'm mentally at work on a fixed schedule, 8-5. I'm mentally not at work on opposite side of that fixed schedule, with just as much fixity as I have on working during 8-5. So, perhaps rigidly fixed hours help?

[csdvrx]

You... don't?

The problem you are describing seems more like intrusive thoughts.

Some ideas come and go - it's up to you to decide to think about them, a bit like eavesdropping if you are walking in the street and hear a keyword from some other people's conversation.

The fact some of these ideas are about work is irrelevant. If you were having similar thoughts about, say whatever you're cooking today, but while on the company clock, it'd be a similar problem.

[samwestdev]

I never start in the first place. Working remotely 's been extra chill for me.

Also, if you're getting eye strain you should take more breaks.

[ManlyBread]

I remind myself that I'm not getting paid for thinking about work after the workday ends and that if I do think about work I essentially provide free labor to my employer. It helped me in stopping stressing about work after work because what's the point in doing it if I'm not getting anything in return?

[2000UltraDeluxe]

After work, go outside regardless of the weather. If you have a garden/yard, do something, even if it's just a short stroll to make sure everything's in order. Chopping wood is a great way to get rid of aggressions.

Finish off with a bike ride or walk. After that, if the weather is nice, try staying outside for a while.

[skydhash]

I used to think about work all the times when I started freelancing. I had no boundaries and routinely worked until 1 or 2 am. When I started contracting with bigger companies, I just set up office hours, powering on the laptop when I start and powering it off when the day ends. I don't have the office accounts (slack & email) on my phone, but they know my phone number so they can call me or message me if something urgent pops up (very unlikely as I'm not a senior). I found that as soon as I close the laptop, everything fades away as I'm not tempted in any form to interact with it. I could, but with nothing in front of me, it's just a single thought. I also have other stuff to do like reading, learning foreign languages, watching Twitch or YouTube, or just planning the next day (personal part, not the work part)

[kongojack]

I set an alarm for when I'm supposed to stop work, close everything and then set it out of sight (my laptop goes in the closet). I find the Pavlovian conditioning helps stop my mind from ruminating after a certain time of day.

[vanadium → kongojack]

Similarly, I have my desk lamp outfitted with Hue lights controlled via HomeKit, which always turn on 15 minutes before work and turn off at the usual time I clock out plus 15 minutes, and for the days I close up in time, I make it an absolute habit to turn them off before heading back upstairs to be with family.

It takes commitment to consistency, but it’s extremely effective for me to associate the light switch to my work day.

[tutus]

The feelings you described are totally normal. One day you will know that you can solve the problem. One day you will know that you won't fail. One day you will collect feedback after the presentation and continue to learn how to do better the next time.

Also, maybe this job just isn't the right fit for you if you are constantly doubting yourself and feeling unsure. It may be a good time to start planning toward the next move a few months from now.

[sp332]

Almost any routine can work if you practice it. Even just standing up and stretching from your desk before you sit back down and open Facebook or whatever.

Some things that helped for me: Get a cold drink. Do something engaging but not really difficult: a casual video game, or making supper. Talk to a different group of people. And give yourself a little time - unwinding could take 20 minutes, so be patient with yourself.

[rmk]

I can suggest one easy way to develop a firm, clear boundary between work and life in the evening. Join a class or social club that requires you to be physically present someplace at a fixed time in the evening, preferably around six PM. Commit to a 100% attendance record for a month, and see how you now have a gainful activity and a great work-life balance shaping up.

[muzani → rmk]

I did this and it gave me headaches because I have to log off in the middle of doing something that's almost done. And then I'd spend the next 3 hours thinking about it. Being grumpy and non-present did not improve work-life balance.

[potta_coffee → rmk]

I recommend Jiu Jitsu.

[theandrewbailey]

Know your coworkers enough to manage expectations. Know who to ask and collaborate with if you're stuck.

Have a separate space for work. Don't go there unless you're working or cleaning it.

Have engaging activities and hobbies outside work. Exercise. Cook. Meet with friends or family. Play a game. Watch a movie.

[captainbland]

For what it's worth I don't find that I'm any more or less likely to think about work as a remote worker than when I was in the office. Intrusive work thoughts seem to find me either way.

[potta_coffee]

I actually have the opposite problem right now, I'm thinking about non-work stuff. As soon as work ends I'm at the BJJ gym most days, and work doesn't really intrude.

[paulcole]

I pay $500 a month for an office at WeWork. My laptop stays there and I run commute there and back from my apartment. I still hate remote work, but at least it’s not in my apartment anymore.

[alar44]

This doesn't have anything to do with remote work.

If you are ruminating, it means your aren't engaging in reality. Do something physical.

[dopylitty]

I like to go for a run. Usually that helps slow down the part of my brain still cycling through work concerns.

[clircle]

I cook a nice meal, eat it with my wife, then i hit the gym

[newusertoday]

go for a walk in nature

[chaosbutters314]

because I rather be playing v-rising