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I once heard someone say something along the lines of "not accepting praise for being skilled isn't humility it's arrogance".

Know when you're good and accept a compliment don't feign being stupid.




Know when you're good and accept a compliment don't feign being stupid.

This is standard advice that I would readily accept in a Western cultural context. (For these purposes, HN is a Western cultural context, even though it has participants from all over the world.) But please note that in some cultures, declining compliments is not false modesty, but simply the standard form of politeness. For example, when speaking Chinese, if someone has just told me that I speak Chinese well (which would be a compliment, perhaps not deserved), the standard polite way for me to reply would be to say, "I speak Chinese poorly." The most striking example of this pattern of politeness, which extends not only to the speaker personally but to persons closely associated with the speaker, was when I met the Korean husband of a Korean woman who had been my classmate already for several months by the time I met her husband. The conversation, conducted in Chinese, consisted of some other person saying to him, "Your wife is quite beautiful," to which he replied, IN HER HEARING, "No, she is very ugly," contrary to fact, for politeness. If the cultural context is clear, everybody knows how to interpret such statements (with both the effusive praise and the denials by the praised persons being counted as conventional politeness) and no one is offended on either side.


That's quite interesting, a bit horrifying to anyone learning a new language which I guess shows knowing a language doesn't mean knowing the culture.

I'm always worried about hand gestures now I have to make sure I know the code of the culture.




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