Interesting. Albert Einstein famously said his child-like curiosity is what led him to theorise about space-time continuum [0]. He thought, a child-like inquisitiveness was key to what he did [1]. On asking questions, he said: "Most teachers waste their time by asking questions that are intended to discover what a pupil does not know, whereas the true art of questioning is to discover what the pupil does know or is capable of knowing" [2].
Here's a contrasting article that I remember very vividly [3]. For me, after reading it, I felt that it was perhaps okay to admit not knowing things one ought to know because it opened up an avenue to honestly engage in a thoughtful discussion with people who might know more. I can't really say if it changed how folks around me perceived me, but I didn't really feel awkward anymore answering queries with a "I don't know but...".
I've often thought about Einstein's thought experiments for this very reason.
Why not think about rays of light as if you were traveling next to them in a train? It seems so simple, but no one else had asked that question before.
There's a dark side to childlike questions. I've seen presenters at seminars destroyed by seemingly innocent questions. Also deponents, for that matter.
There must be "ease, relaxation, and a general sense of permissiveness." which sounds like an environment that would be conducive to basic questions.
He goes on to say "isolation is required" (for having creative ideas) and maybe that's because it is a way for him to avoid the adult-being-and-always-sounding-smart-forcing-function... even as costly as being alone from a team may be!
Feels like some tall shoulders probably agree with you:)
"Reminds me of some Asimov" may be the single greatest compliment I've ever been paid.
One of the things I love about Asimov's writing is the way in which he builds complex situations with simple building blocks. The Three Laws are the best example of this, but one of my favorites remains his first "article" on Thiotimiline.
> The way I’m working on this is to stop myself each time I’m about to ask a question and figure out what I actually want to know, and then see if I can just ask that specific question in no more than a single simple sentence. If the question does not produce a satisfying answer, I’ll try to understand if it is because I worded the question poorly, or did not provide enough context. If I need more context, I’ll add one or two sentences of context, and ask the question again.
That. Exactly that.
I've worked with people who will ask questions faster than I can answer them, or ask questions in a circle where it's clear that they never listened to my first answer... They are the hardest people to work with, no matter how smart, motivated, or capable they are.
The trouble with this is that it fails above first order thinking. For example, I remember asking a photographer, "what's the value of 20 megapixel cameras"? His answer was something like, "the more the the MP, the better the detail."
I knew that already, but he didn't know I knew that. I was wondering because most mediums with which I view these photos don't support that high a resolution.
As a result, I've tried to do what the above author prescribed, but add an "I understand how x..." to avoid wasting time with the obvious answer.
There's even an issue when doing that, though. The question becomes too complex (as the author was getting at). I see this mostly when I'm troubleshooting something on the phone, and the tech is used to giving the "on script" answer.
I've realized that sometimes when I ask a question I'm worried about seeming dumb. Maybe in that moment it's true, maybe not. Often you appear more thoughtful and engaged. Either way, for the rest of the conversation you'll probably seem smarter than you otherwise would. Continuing without understanding, you're way more likely to say something stupid because you didn't understand that thing two minutes ago. But if you retain mastery throughout, even though it may take some questioning to keep on top of things, you end up able to keep up and contribute better. Recognizing that, and that people just like engaged listeners, has helped me ask "dumb" questions more easily.
The problem is we live in an "RTFM" culture, where people find it necessary to present all the things they've considered and tried prior to asking the question, so that they can be taken seriously and not just get an "RTFM" as the first response to their question. Yes, it would be easier if they could just ask their question without their motives being questioned, but that's not how our system works.
RTFM is necessary because asking a question is cheaper than answering it. People ask a lot of questions they could trivially answer themselves, at the detriment of the community.
I moderate a community for a European capital. Without an RTFM policy, we'd spend our days retyping the same answers you could find with a Google search: what to do on a trip there, where to print documents, how to pay a public transit fine etc.
One thing to add on top of this, adults have time limits.
I have no problem asking questions, but if there are only a couple minutes left in a meeting, I'm probably not going to ask if it's ultimately not a big deal.
Related to this, meetings can also have "wrong" questions. If it's not pertinent to the majority of the audience, it might be the wrong time to ask the question, making it a wrong question.
> At the same time, adult questions get longer and longer. Most of this length isn’t important for the question, it is meant to prevent the audience from thinking the questioner is stupid.
On the contrary, I do it to prevent people from wasting the first 5 minutes of their explanation with basics that I already know, or simplistic models that don't fully explain my observations.
My dad once told me "Education is the process of lying less and less". Kids are OK with a kid-level model because it explains everything they see. I need to preempt answers with 3 or 4 observations I have which aren't explained by the kid-level model.
Thank you very much for writing this. I needed this.
I recently joined a new workplace and realized that everyone around me were talking too much for asking simple questions, questions which would normally require a sentence or two.
My previous workplace was small "startup" company around 20 employees, where questions in conversations were simple and straight to the point.
This is inconstrast to my new workplace which is a big corporate company with a few thousand employees. I honestly felt a little stupid the first few weeks.
Unfortunately, my take away from reading this, is to turn my child like questions into more adult like, to fit into the corporate culture.
"The questions are meant to prove points, not produce knowledge" = so true.
"I noticed, as well, that conversations in which I ask simpler questions are more enjoyable and more interesting. These conversations lead to new ideas and better plans." :)
"The way I’m working on this is to stop myself each time I’m about to ask a question and figure out what I actually want to know, and then see if I can just ask that specific question in no more than a single simple sentence."= great technique!
I would have loved some actual questions. I've been reading some of Google's Project Rework "What makes effective teams", and it revolves around psychological safety. It is very accurate in terms of my experience as well as a software engineer. If I feel empowered to ask questions like "what's the goal of the project?" to upper management without sounding impudent, that seems like a great culture to be in.
I've found it takes practice and encouragement (a few times). Basically they have to realize that they really won't be hurt by admitting they don't understand something. I think it's a learned skill. I also make an extra effort to ask questions both to them when I'm trying to understand something and in front of them to others when I don't understand something or want to learn more about it (which is often).
That said, most of the new hires I've worked with were college grads right out of school so this probably is partly influenced by that life stage in general.
I love it! Thanks for sharing, what are some of the questions that triggered that article?
I've personally found it helpful to build a circle of friends/founders who I can ask those questions openly - truth is in most investors or even customers meeting asking the basic questions often does more harm than good.
Here's a contrasting article that I remember very vividly [3]. For me, after reading it, I felt that it was perhaps okay to admit not knowing things one ought to know because it opened up an avenue to honestly engage in a thoughtful discussion with people who might know more. I can't really say if it changed how folks around me perceived me, but I didn't really feel awkward anymore answering queries with a "I don't know but...".
[0] https://www.azquotes.com/quote/616908
[1] https://www.azquotes.com/quote/405452
[2] https://www.azquotes.com/quote/1242866
[3] https://42floors.com/blog/startups/i-dont-know