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How often do you have a need for non-engineers to be able to alter your database queries? Why is this a requirement or even desirable? There seem to be few cases where a query change needs to be made in isolation, without having to touch any of the downstream consumers of that data.

So if we remove this non-requirement of "anybody can write it", we're back to my original question: Ok, we the coders know we want a Product instance, but to build it we create a Select instance and then ask a library do so some sort of parsing?

Possibly no ORM exists that meet your criteria because there are issues with the design goals you're trying to achieve?

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