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math IS hard. i didn't learn this until recently. i never met a practicing mathematician before a few years ago, and when i did they told me that they struggle to get stuff. that was a HUGE relief. if you enjoy it, then maybe you can apply yourself to it for the hours it may take to understand something - a book, a topic, a paper, etc.

i think a lot of what it comes down to for me - and maybe you - is mental discipline (staying focused for more than an hour without straying), knowing that it is very common for it to be tough, and learning how to play with math and explore it. i was never taught those things (or at least i never learned them), and so i have had to learn them the hard way. maybe you suffer from some of the same hurdles? try and overcome them, it's worth it.

as for writing proofs, one of those mathematicians got me interested in this book:


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