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"I would tell you a joke about UDP, but you probably wouldn't get it."

"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"Ok, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."

"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."

"Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."

"Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have an explicit setting, and ends with a punchline."

"I'm sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"


The canonical collection of five hundred jokes of this genre is at http://attrition.org/misc/ee/protolol.txt:

@mckeay The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.

@dildog What's up with the jokes... Give it a REST, guys...

@ChrisJohnRiley: The worst thing about #protolol is that you get the broadcast even if you really don't give a shit!

@mdreid: The best thing about proprietary protocol jokes is REDACTED.

@maradydd: The bad thing about Turing machine jokes is you never can tell when they're over #protolol


A UDP packet walks into a bar.

A UDP packet walks into a bar.

A walks UDP packet bar a into.

I think this is definitely a more accurate representation of the joke. Although maybe drop one of the words. :)

A walks UDP packet bar into bar.


Might make more sense as "A TCP Packet walks into a bar" , since TCP supports retransmissions

An UDP packet may arrive as two copies. That's the joke.

Duplication is a form of forward error correction.

Knock knock.

A UDP packet.

Who's there?

The problem with UDP jokes is that I don't get half of them!

I would counter with an HTTP joke but I am feeling slightly insecure.

How 'bout you tell us an HTTPs joke, then?

Well, based on these results, you probably will.

wouldn't it but sense make.

"conKnk k.kco"

Knock knock. Who's there? Google.com. whois Google.com? /

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