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I was half expecting to find a JavaScript implementation, Atwood's Law still has a ways to go.

Don't worry, there's several!

http://int3.github.io/doppio/about.html https://github.com/nurv/BicaVM https://github.com/YaroslavGaponov/node-jvm

The doppio demo even lets you run javascript-in-java-in-javascript (rhino->doppio->browser)!

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