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Because they're pseudoscience? No, wait, that's this article.

LOL :) I wasn't trying to make it science-y, although now that I look at it it sure comes off like pseudoscience. The graphs just struck me as a good way to explain what I had in mind...

Multiplying some random functions together caused me to twitch, but I like the "metric of the month". Having got to the end, I think the hand-wavium was an okay way to relate your idea.

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