Maybe there's a middle ground? If someone provided me with a VPS but made it really easy to self-host applications from a curated list, I'd be all over that.
Self-hosted auto-updated service nodes, that run on your own cloud-connected server. All your data, your encryption, your permissions, everything.
Then you connect to your services via any thin client (just thumbprint on any terminal anywhere and you're logged in). Any screen, any device, anywhere.