I think it's very important to make people comfortable with the idea that they often make mistakes and their thinking is not up to par.
I don't think "comfortable" is the right word here. People who feel comfortable with failure will continue to fail. It's important for people to understand that they will make mistakes, yes, and that they should not be stopped by it--they should try to do better next time. But to me that's the exact opposite of feeling "comfortable" with making mistakes; making mistakes should make you feel uncomfortable until you've figured out how to not make those mistakes again.
Her way is to inflict guilt
I don't think "guilt" is the right word here either. She is expressing disappointment, but it's disappointment with what the person did, not with who the person is. "Guilt" implies that she is saying they're a bad person, and she's not; she's saying they could have done better.
Why not just focus on the thought process and try to detach emotions from it
Because the emotions are what motivate a person to do better.
At one time this someone won't be there
True; and what happens then will depend on how well the person has internalized the emotional drive to do better. That won't happen if the only coaching they've gotten is dispassionate commentary on their thought processes. If nobody expresses disappointment when they make mistakes, they won't learn to be disappointed with themselves when they make mistakes, so they won't care about doing better.
If you act like the woman from the article people will avoid you
But that doesn't seem to be happening; the woman's students don't seem to be avoiding her, they seem to be taking her criticisms seriously and improving their game.
I don't think "guilt" is the right word here either. She is expressing disappointment, but it's disappointment with what the person did, not with who the person is.
And while she's doing that, she's implicitly expressing the expectation that her students can do better. That's actually a far cry from the way lots of parents use guilt in traditional societies, where the implicit message is, "You did bad, again, just like I expected you to!" and the aim is to elicit effort through neurotic self-hatred.
Interesting question raised and an interesting answer from you. Both made me think and have made my day better by making me smarter than before.
If I may add _one_ suggestion to both, it is to say "Elizabeth" or "Spiegel" instead of "the woman from the article" or something like that. It makes the reference more human.
If I may add _one_ suggestion to both, it is to say "Elizabeth" or "Spiegel" instead of "the woman from the article" or something like that. It makes the reference more human.
I don't think "comfortable" is the right word here. People who feel comfortable with failure will continue to fail. It's important for people to understand that they will make mistakes, yes, and that they should not be stopped by it--they should try to do better next time. But to me that's the exact opposite of feeling "comfortable" with making mistakes; making mistakes should make you feel uncomfortable until you've figured out how to not make those mistakes again.
Her way is to inflict guilt
I don't think "guilt" is the right word here either. She is expressing disappointment, but it's disappointment with what the person did, not with who the person is. "Guilt" implies that she is saying they're a bad person, and she's not; she's saying they could have done better.
Why not just focus on the thought process and try to detach emotions from it
Because the emotions are what motivate a person to do better.
At one time this someone won't be there
True; and what happens then will depend on how well the person has internalized the emotional drive to do better. That won't happen if the only coaching they've gotten is dispassionate commentary on their thought processes. If nobody expresses disappointment when they make mistakes, they won't learn to be disappointed with themselves when they make mistakes, so they won't care about doing better.
If you act like the woman from the article people will avoid you
But that doesn't seem to be happening; the woman's students don't seem to be avoiding her, they seem to be taking her criticisms seriously and improving their game.