The problem is, I'm a very different person when I'm motivated and when I'm not. I can be the most motivated person after a good conversation with a friend, or a great experience, but I have difficulty maintaining that on a day-to-day basis. I don't feel that this reduces the "quality" of my motivation at all.
This is very pathological for me, and it bleeds into my personal life. I'm bad at keeping appointments, etc. Does that mean I don't care about the people in my life? I don't think so. I think I'm just incompetent, and I need a lot of learning and practice when it comes to being competent, and raw willpower and vague structures haven't helped.
I think I need some sort of structure or prosthetic that I can't ask of any other person (unless I hired a personal assistant to bug me 24/7, which I wouldn't be able to afford). I'm sure there are other people out there who could use such prosthesis, too. In the long run the goal would be to wean myself off of it, but I think I definitely could use help of some sort.