|In the best point of my life (job/my own place/done school wise), I'm always in the same state of depression and I'm finding it harder and harder to keep everything together and keep pretending.|
I can't stand being around ANY people at all ever for whatever reason, I find myself almost in tears at multiple times during the day and its not for any particular reason.
I stopped lifting and bodybuilding. I don't have any ambition left in me to devote the slightest thought towards it.
Everything is good for about one or two weeks, then I break down, recoup, and repeat and try to channel it into my work or relationships. I can't do it anymore and I don't know what to do.
I'm not happy and it's hard pretending to be. I can't think happy things. Chaos invades my mind at all times.
I feel lonely constantly. You know that feeling you got when you fell in love with the girl of your dreams? You know that feeling when she has to leave for even the shortest time? It's the worst feeling ever, that's what it's like all the time. I could be out having the greatest social time and it makes me feel even more alone.
I've been doing well with it for the past few years but now it's gotten to a point where I truly don't believe I'll make it for another few months.
I don't enjoy any facet of life anymore.