To be honest it's the fumbling around in the dark that has annoyed me. I am with you 100% on your manifesto and your points about the type of service you provide. However the time we have spent on this (starting before you came clean about the issues) and the time spent on other increasingly suspicious advice to "up dynos" or spend time "optimising your app" sours this slightly. I accept the "magic black box" comes with its compromises and required understanding at our end but it also means needing to be far more communicative and honest about it at yours. Something which you are putting right I can see.
I for one think the premise of Heroku is a great one and you have succeeded for us in many of the things you have set out to achieve. This whole situation has been a real shame, I'm sure this must have a been a pretty shody time for you guys and I hope you come out the better for it. The quicker the better to be honest so you can focus on the new features we'd like to see.
Regarding your app: indeed, Unicorn is a huge improvement, but far from the end of the story. "Performance" is like "security" or "uptime" — it's not a one-time feature, something you check off a list and move on. It's something that requires constant work, and every time you fix one problem or bottleneck that just leads you to the next one.
Over time, though, your vigilance pays off with a service that its users deem to be fast or secure or have good uptime. Yet there's no such thing as a finish line on these.
Bringing it back to details. Kazuki from Treasure Data made this Unicorn worker killer that might help you: https://github.com/kzk/unicorn-worker-killer If you're still not happy with your app's performance, give me a shout at adam at heroku dot com and we'll see if we can help.