So I think, that the dominant military power ( or in case of the NATO, military alliance) should try to limit the use of potentially disruptive developments, already out of self interest.
 I will not argue in this about the morality of war or the logic of warfare. Here I will simply argue within this framework.
How does international law protect civilians in a war, except by the actions of a party interested in protecting those civilians?
I don't know what protections you are talking about, but I doubt the pilots would be piloting anything from their homes. They only go there on leave, just like all other soldiers. As for hackers, if a state sponsored attack is launched from a civilian home, it is a violation of the rules of war. The hackers should be in a military installation when doing anything (they probably would anyway, just for security, easier cooperation etc.). There has always been soldiers who fight wars without going to the battlefield.