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I think you are bang on about this.

The problem is one of identity. We will protect anything that we attach to our identity because we perceive any attack on it as an attack on us. To have intelligent, unemotional conversations that has to be decoupled.

In general it can lead to problems if we map our identity externally - whether to a programming language, or something else - of course this is easier to preach than to practice.

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