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Here's transcriptions of the texts. There might be some errors, please post corrections (make sure they are transcription errors, and not errors from the original document - there are quite a few of those, perhaps intentional).

On Pastebin:

Ideas: http://pastebin.com/WSfmLDA5

Life tips: http://pastebin.com/PTF4cfDJ

Test: http://pastebin.com/BExqVKpv


Full texts (same as Pastebin):


	(All ideas are sold "as-is" with no warranty implied.
	Stories unused within 70 years are forfeit for resale.)

    A boy and a girl travel to the beach together, where 
	they pay a man to xxxxxx receive a bicycle ride from
	his monkey. The ride is very uncomfortable, due to 
	a spoon tied to the seat which keeps whacking their
	legs. Nevertheless, they fall in love and are maried.
	At the end, the monkey is eating avocado with a spoon.
	So that's what it was for. $3

    A girl visits a boot store. In one of the racks, she
	discovers a village of little people that has ssoraly
	been living among the boots. A boy comes off the bus
	outside, sees the girl in the store, falls in love and
	goes and tells the girl he's in love with her. She
	tries to show how the little village works, but he is
	only marginally interested in that. They are wed, $1

    A man eats corn on top of his house. It is his favorite
	pasttime. He marries and dies happy. $3

    Adam and Eve are riding bicycles (naked) in the Garden of
	Eden. They decide to have a race to see who is the
	fastest person in the world. Adam's wheel pops and he
	uses the snake St Satan as a replacement tube. $4

    A retired police offericer struggles to find acceptances
	in the sububan life of Blouder Springs, Colorado. He
	befriends a local fishmonger but still must fight his
	personal demons. XXX 50

    A guy with an enormous chin has the chin surgically
	removed and is promptly married. $3

    A man who collects prisms finds his house inundated
	with refracted light, such that he is transformed into
	a superpowerful albino who masquerades at as a wild
	horse at night. A local fishmonger feeds the horse and
	feeds him a green apple (not knowing the situation here)
	which kills the albino half of the guy. So at night now
	he's a live horse but is dead albino during the day.
	The sheriff's office discovers the dead man and gives
	him a proper funeral. During the funeral, the sun sets
	and the whole horse body busts through the coffin. $12

    A nerdy underappreciated kid wins a raffle and receives
	his own Space Shuttle for a week. He installs a soft-serve
	ice cream machine onboard and teaches a pet monkey to sit
	in the cockpoit. One day, while going home from a birthday
	party in space, the shuttle explodes (a la Challenger) $3

    Deep Relationships. Notes on the article

    Secrets to deep relationships:
		-> asking deep questions
		-> talking about deep relationships
		   with the person.
		-> going camping with the person.
		-> make the person a part of your 
		   life  (this may not work, though think about
				   it, we live with a mom and dad for many
		   many years, or we may not know anything deep
		   about them - might want to ask that person
		   a deep question to get things going)
		-> make up something deep about the
		   person and then ask "is this true?"
		   ("i heard you have a whole other
			 side to you that is very interesting
			 and i want to ask if this is true")
		-> avoid using pseudonyms, use your
		   proper first and last name and avoid
		   other kinds of lying. (although you might
		   		          want to prepare a short
		   pseudonym that's just for deep relationships -
		   these special names are code for "i know you
		   deeper" and don't take pictures of yourself
		   with the person because pictures make the relation
		   ship not as deep - unless its a very old picture)
		-> touch the person on the arm just once and
		   no more
		-> promise to meet the person one hour from
		   now in the same spot (secret rendezvous technique,
					 good for when you're pressed
		   for time and need a deep relationship.)
		-> joke and laugh - these seemingly light things
		   are surprisingly deep

On the side of "Life Tips":

    deterioration of the
    team "social" has made
    this a lost art!!
    perfect timing



/me puts tinfoil hat on

    Adam and Eve are riding bicycles (naked) in the Garden of
    Eden. They decide to have a race to see who is the
    fastest person in the world. Adam's wheel pops and he
    uses the snake St Satan as a replacement tube. $4
Imagine turning a snake into a bike tube. You'd end up putting the tail in the mouth. The symbol for a snake eating its own tail is an Ouroboros (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouroboros) representing cyclicality (hohoho bicycles!) especially in "eternal return".

Funnily enough this cyclicality is mentioned in the idea where a man ends up being a dead albino during the day and a wild horse at night. There's a cycle of the man going from dead albino to a wild horse and even a "Rising from the grave" (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/rise+from+the+grave) in the idea's description.

Oh.. and here's some info about the symbolism of horses: http://www.whats-your-sign.com/horse-symbol-meanings.html


There's quite a few mentions of love and marriage across the texts. There's also a date on the last message (DESOLEE). Could they be related?

Oooh actually look at the second to last point of NOTES and then look at DESOLEE. Of course 18th of April not in "1 hour" but still ;)

One bit I found interesting in NOTES was "avoid using pseudonyms". Could this be something to do with _why detaching from his persona for the last few years?


  deterioration of the
  team "social" has made
  this a lost art!!
  perfect timing
I think it's supposed to be "term" not "team". I think we all can guess where's he's getting at here though :) (/me looks up the last point in NOTES)


/me takes tinfoil hat off

Ok. My take on it: this reads like some apocryphal Larry Wall's apocalypses.

What this means is simple: _why switched to Perl 6.

The weirdest thing isthe TEST RESTAURANT REVIEW thing, because while the rest look like notes that one is just... gibberish

The numbers are interesting: 70 years $3 $1 $3 $4 XXX 50 $3 $12 $3

Also the pattern of typos - there's probably some sort of message in here, but I've never really been good at this sort of puzzle.

The "50" actually says "50c" in the text, not $50.

I think he might be suggesting you fuckers go outside

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