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Your post needs a giant asterisk. Everything you said is completely fair, excluding AdWords -- which is where Google actually makes its money. As an Adwords customer, I have absolutely no problem getting my account rep on the phone if I have a problem.

For Adsense, in contrast, the user is told:

>We offer email support for our higher-earning publishers. To find out if email support is available for your account, visit How can I contact AdSense support? [1] Publishers who have access to support via email will find a contact form where they can email our specialists.

It turns out I'm lucky enough to be "eligible for email support". How flattering!

[1] https://support.google.com/adsense/bin/request.py

Why is 'flattery' part of your vocabulary of businesses relationships?

I don't get any email support from a soda vending machine.

Vending machines frequently have a number you can call for support if the machine malfunctions.

Add devices to the list, too. If you have a hardware issue with a Nexus 4 / Nexus 7 / Nexus 10, clicking through the support center will eventually drop you at a phone number to call. Returns/exchanges and warranty repairs are handled by phone.

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