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It's funny, because I used to feel that way about Lisp before I learned Haskell, and I still feel that way about Smalltalk even though I do know Haskell.

At some point I decided that there are things I like and am passionate about that I'm simply not going to be able to master for one reason or another and I'll have to live with admiration from afar. The last time I used Lisp I came away feeling like I had successfully tricked it into doing what I wanted, and I looked back at what I had written and thought, this is no way for me to live. I suspect what you're describing is the same thing.

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