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Facebook interoperates very poorly with other systems, and there are a lot of people who are using Facebook as their primary communication tool. If you don't use Facebook -- I, for example, don't use Facebook -- you are forced to keep reminding certain people that you exist and that you can be contacted by email / IM / phone / etc.

> you are forced to keep reminding certain people that you exist and that you can be contacted

perhaps those people need to pay more attention to you, instead of to your facebook status and/or wall. Real friends sms or call once in a while.

Nuh-uh! Real friends use a hand-forged knife to sharpen the point of a quill, which they dip in locally-sourced artisanal ink. Then they write you a thoughtful letter in beautiful calligraphy on home-made organic paper. After blotting it dry, they seal it with wax and hand it off to a messenger on horseback.

Technology changes. Preferences vary. Declaring your friends inadequate based on chosen mode of communication is ridiculous.

I got off of facebook a year ago and haven't looked back. I've actually been surprised at how little effect it's had on my life. The UX is only going to get worse as Zuck & Co. have to operate their newly-public company more in the interests of their investors than their users.

Between TV, magazines, in-game advertising, billboards, and now airport screening trays, the ad overload finally became more than I was willing to tolerate.

The problem that you are missing here is one of history. The phone company you so quickly push people to use has a long history of monopoly and abuse (at least where I'm from, where the telephone was invented). For the longest time you could only connect blessed telephone company equipment to your line, nothing else was allowed by law. It wasn't until people fought back that we could even use acoustic couplers. The telephone company was government sanctioned, but it was still a private company just like Facebook is.

So instead of telling people to take it, do like or predecessors and fight back. I'm pretty sure if this was back in the Ma Bell days, you'd be telling the crowd that 'Real Friends' send letters via post!

Unfortunately, social convention evolves independently rather than being dictated. If convention evolves in the direction of Facebook events and newsfeeds instead of mass SMS invitations and e-mail, one is forced to choose either to use Facebook or to become a social outcast.

did you ever think about whether facebook's marketing and influences have an effect on this evolution? Its not like "society" can think for itself - its just made up of people.

It isn't evolving "independently" - its just the sum of the actions of everyone. So, to dicate it, you can attemot to convince your friends of the benefits of moving off it. If it is true that there is benefit form moving off, then it will happen eventually.

...oh except of course, if you get locked in, as designed.

> perhaps those people need to pay more attention to you

When you become a squeaky wheel by demanding special treatment, you don't always get the oil - sometimes you get taken off and left in a ditch.

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