I think you're getting somewhere, but I'd say you still have a ways to go.
I don't back a Kickstarter campaign because I want one of the things they're selling. If I want that, I'll just wait. I do it because I want to back the venture.
You write: "To build a revolutionary product, we knew we had to build a next-generation apparel manufacturer from the ground up, tailored entirely to the way men want to shop." And then your risks section is mostly about the risks of selling one batch of shirts. There is such a vast amount of hype and haziness on the Kickstarter page that I have no confidence that you guys know what you're doing.
It's a five-person company that needed to raise $5,000 just to buy fabric? You guys seriously couldn't come up with that kind of dough directly? Or from friends? Or put it on your credit cards? It just makes no sense to me.
I figure the reason it makes no sense is that you're not actually using Kickstarter to kick-start the company. Instead, I guess you're using Kickstarter as the pop marketing channel du jour, a way to take pre-orders and get some hype. So naturally it wouldn't make sense.