I don't think its contradictory that I want title bars and thinner theme. The title bar serves as the main handle to move a window. When its taken away it makes it hard to pull the window out of being maximized, depending on where there is free space that will let me drag a window around to pop it out of its maximized state. The title bar serves a purpose. The extra padding on tabs, buttons and menus doesn't help me much as I know what i am looking for.
I fully understand that gnome 3 isn't a final product, and like basically all Open Source software it is available "as is" and without any guarantee that it is fit for your purpose. I would have thought that the "regular user" for a system like gnome was a person like me. I guess that is no longer the case, which is fine, its just hard finding a new desktop environment that i'm comfortable in.