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I'm only guessing here, but I think that most of the angel investors that I know will trash such an email after reading the first sentence and seeing how much more they still have to read.

There's a magical formula to not make that happen.

You write a sentence that makes the person want to read the next one.

Even busy people like to read interesting emails.

Sure, but this email starts off poorly.

"We’re starting CriticalArc and we’re focussed on providing solutions to problems that depend on streaming status and location in real time."

Ever since the 90s, the word "solutions" just makes my eyes glaze over. To be fair, it gets interesting after that, but this is not a good way to introduce your company.

For me, that was an especially good starting statement, though with no cliffhanger as such.

It reflected the emailer's intention to not waste my time. Tells me who they are, and tells me it's not a sort of long-winded spam. Sure, I have skimmed it (glazed over?) and came back to it later after reading other parts of the email. But it gave me the option to bail out while promising interesting things if I am interested.

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