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Just a bit of feedback: the part where you get somewhere close to describing what your company actually does[1] is very well buried. And the rest is incredibly vague and sounds very much like the stereotypical startup pitch you parody in your opening sentence. Your pitch has all the points of a stereotypical SF startup: vague platitudes about the future, a list of “top investors,” “building something that matters”, stealth mode, claiming you're not like all the other startups. Frankly, your whole comment is one of the best pieces of satire I've seen on this board.

Not only that, but a service that archives my life sounds like… Facebook timeline.

I realize you guys are stealth, but if you want to attract people by claiming that you're building something that matters, you might want to actually tell us what you're building.

[1]: ”And then boom suddenly your whole life shows up as an archive. I just can't get over this. So stunning. You've achieved what few could.“

Well this is painful, but fair.

Recruiting while trying to stay stealth is like voluntarily punching yourself in the face. We're always happy to give demos to anyone who's interested in talking to us - we're just not ready to have it all down in a public forum yet.

I can understand where you're coming from and I agree, but we're going to just have to live with this until we're closer to launch.

I've read this advertisement in the last 2-3 "Who's hiring" posts. I finally understand what they do after you highlighted that sentence.

They have a CollegeHumor sketch (on startup stereotypes) as their introduction on AngelList. I'm confused.

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