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Why we buy into ideas: how to convince others of our thoughts (bufferapp.com)
61 points by sunils34 on Oct 24, 2012 | hide | past | favorite | 11 comments

This article is more about communication. To convince others, make the idea their own.

On communication: The best way I have found to communicate to mixed groups effectively is by giving the straight shooter response immediately followed by imagery based elaboration, which ultimately gets more airplay/screenplay. Some successful speakers flip the order, but that is more dependent on the audience. Notice this the next keynote or quarterly conference call you listen to.

Maybe it is because I have both arts talent and logical thinking, but balancing the two has never been a problem for me. Make each one as concise as can be while still accurate/full picture.

While I understand the basic idea of "make the idea their own", is there any way you could either maybe expand on that a bit, or point me to an existing blog post or something?

Regarding the communication bit, I definitely agree with the order. While not doing it on purpose, looking back I did notice differences in the responses of people based on how I'd pitch an idea/project at meetups.

There are probably many ways of doing it. It is very context and person dependent.

-infectious enthusiasm

-team emphasis

-rationally addressing all of their concerns

-leading them up to the idea so they 'come up with it'

-giving people a detail that they can change

-make sure one of their value added ideas is implemented within it

-putting someone in charge of a section of it


-scratching each others back

Essentially, making the other person have skin in the game.

A chef I used to work with would yell and rile up one worker when he saw we were going to get busy. One day the worker exclaimed, 'I hate this. why don't you yell at Bob?'. The chef replied, 'Bob works like shit when he is angry, you work like shit if you are not'.

Each person has their own trigger. Knowing that trigger is a huge part of managing people.

The biggest discovery I made in my studies to become a hypnotist was in being able to discern other people's metaphors and use them in communicating (rather than my own).

Personal metaphors are jam packed with information and emotion.

For example, when someone talks about being part of a "club", it seems like an innocent word doesn't it, but to them the club metaphor may mean the inclusion or ostracization of a social group.

Of course, some metaphors are universally understood (especially archetypes) and can be the transport system for new instructions to the subconscious mind. I used the Warrior metaphor for my eyes-open self hypnosis: http://summonthewarrior.com and people seem to respond really well to it, myself included!

I heard this idea or visual vs auditive persons before, in the early nineties. Also a third group, kinesthetics, that I was placed in. Has anybody a reference for this in books or articles, persuasion oriented?

She's providing a very smoothed-over introduction to neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) [1]. The part about talking and listening is a take on Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People[2].

I'm no fan of NLP - it was intended as a personal development aid to deal with phobias and disorders, so was intended to be internally-focused. However, in my experience, many use it as a manipulative tool (externally-focused), which I dislike intensely. Makes me feel I'm being played, so recognising that is the value I derive from understanding it.

Dale Carnegie's book, however, is (my opinion) the best and most useful personal development book I've ever read.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming

[2] http://www.amazon.co/dp/0749307846

> I'm no fan of NLP - it was intended as a personal > development aid to deal with phobias and disorders, so was > intended to be internally-focused. However, in my experience, > many use it as a manipulative tool (externally-focused), > which I dislike intensely.

That's not a problem of the tool itself, but a problem with the handlers of the tool.

Usually people learn NPL to fix weird behavior within themselves. Once that happens, they usually ignore the meme "with great power comes great responsibility", and go their way messing with other people's ideas, or even feelings.

If you learn it as it was intended, and refrain yourself of exploiting it for profit, you're on the good side.

I always wanted to learn NPL, but I've never tried because I figured I wasn't ready yet. But after this, I think the time might be perfect to pick it up and weed out some weird behaviors of my own.

Lol, I dislike how it's used, not what it is. Also, bear in mind that NLP requires a LOT of effort to pull off (reading it and using the techniques for a month or two will not yield much).

Who said I'd put that little effort in learning something that is actually helpful? But hey, thanks anyway for your concern. ;)

That's a very poignant picture, worth 1000 words.

I don't buy it.

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