FYI, I grew up and still live in the southern US, where race relations are an acknowledged problem, and where social protocols and culture are still more distinct across races than they are within them. And I'm already somewhat bad in general with social protocols.
So I'm not saying white people shouldn't talk to black people. I'm saying that, unfortunately,white people do feel uncomfortable talking to them sometimes, or at least, the bar is higher for meaningful social interaction. I think that's a shame, and unfortunately I don't know what to do about it.
But I do know that accusing white people of racism for clearly non-racist behavior, as with the calculator-necklace incident, is counterproductive, and (for me) reinforces needlessly distressful things I've experienced. That's what I was trying to get at with my earlier comment.
-- 6 hours later --
> So I'm not saying white people shouldn't talk to black people
Surely you can forgive _pius for assuming you meant what you said.
The basic principle here is, do not talk to "progressive" black people, because you are likely to say something innocuous that they interpret as highly offensive. That is the message being sent here.
As I clarified in my last post, my point was that it is regrettable that the blogger "sent the message" he did.
By the way, when you talk about me forgiving _pius, you are obfuscating who is blaming who. I am on the receiving end of blame, not the giving end.
Because if not, "don't talk to progressive blacks" is the message you took away not the one he sent.
> I am on the receiving end of blame, not the giving end.
Oh, for real? Who blamed you for what?
Going back and re-reading your previous post:
> But I do know that accusing white people of racism for clearly non-racist behavior,
It may be non-racist, but it's still culturally tone-deaf.
> as with the calculator-necklace incident, is counterproductive, and (for me) reinforces needlessly distressful things I've experienced.
Oh, weird, because the "calculator-necklace incident" probably reinforced some needlessly distressful (racist, dehumanizing, othering, outgroup-reinforcing) things for the author. Why should he make your distress a priority when you care none for his?
No, I did not say that. I don't think he was sending that message deliberately. (As an aside, the message wasn't "don't talk to me.)
You and _pius are clearly accusing me of racial insensitivity.
I mean, I do think the "message" I claimed was being sent was stated overbroadly by me. But, for example, I definitely would not ever talk to a black person about their clothes if they were not wearing clothing I was familiar with, out of fear that they would be offended - even by a compliment. Even if I said something like, "That outfit looks really good on you," they'd like take my social awkwardness as a sign that I was somehow making fun of them (which I would never do). Or they'd consider me incapable of rendering a judgement about a style of fashion that I'm not familiar wth, and just be insulted.
Why should he make your distress a priority when you care none for his?
I never said that. In fact, if I didn't care about race relations and want them to be better, I wouldn't have commented in the first place. And I care about race relations because I care about people. I don't want anybody to be distressed.
needlessly distressful (racist, dehumanizing, othering, outgroup-reinforcing) things for the author
If you think the calculator incident was racist or dehumanizing, as described, then I can see why you would think I don't care about that guy's distress. But it was not racist or dehumanizing. It may have made the author feel like part of an "outgroup" as you say, but that was not intentional. At least as I recall the incident being described in the post. It was just some really naive person who made a mistake. I thought that was obvious from the description. And you may disagree with this, but if it was just a naive person who made a mistake about what the guy was wearing, it was not racism.
I'm not sure if I want to continue this discussion, but I will read any response and may or may not respond.