My experience as a father of a son that’s 6 and observer of his friends. I’ve been coaching a group of his buddies since they were 3 and can see a lot of patterns. About 50% is seemingly innate and potentially communication related. A lot of them grow out of it as they learn to communicate better. About 10-20% are non aggressors and never behave this way even when communication was a barrier. They follow instructions and typically have a good moral compass and excel at communication until around 5-6 (others catch up). They share well, play nicely, etc. The others are somewhere inbetween. They likely are somewhat aggressive at times but it’s generally a learned from older siblings behavior or they’re going along with someone else’s behaviors. Then, there are a few little shits who act like they get beat in the home (and probably do, honestly) and these ones are the worst - they see red and will kill/maim your non aggressors without a thought. The non aggressors don’t really understand violence and it confuses them why a “friend” would hit/push/snatch/not share. It’s kid of sad.
My kid is one of the non aggressors and I teach him self defense. I’m slowly revealing my true feelings to him as he’s maturing enough to handle it responsibly but I’d much rather him get expelled for zero tolerance self defensive fighting than be a victim of bullying.
Kids change obviously so we’ll see how they continue to develop and mature out of or into bully behavior, a few of the worsts have already chilled out a lot over the past few years while a few have become worse than they were when I met them. The thing that's weird is when they start distinguishing on things that are completely learned from adults; "poor" vs "rich", cars, vacations, etc are notable but also the stereotypical "cool" vs "nerd" interests and how they organize accordingly into their cliques.
My kid is one of the non aggressors and I teach him self defense. I’m slowly revealing my true feelings to him as he’s maturing enough to handle it responsibly but I’d much rather him get expelled for zero tolerance self defensive fighting than be a victim of bullying.
Kids change obviously so we’ll see how they continue to develop and mature out of or into bully behavior, a few of the worsts have already chilled out a lot over the past few years while a few have become worse than they were when I met them. The thing that's weird is when they start distinguishing on things that are completely learned from adults; "poor" vs "rich", cars, vacations, etc are notable but also the stereotypical "cool" vs "nerd" interests and how they organize accordingly into their cliques.