I understood your joke, but we just found out a few hours ago what happened in Hamburg, and while neither of these features made it yet, they're seemingly going in opposite directions:
pattern matching had a poll in forwarding to the CWG, and it was mostly in favor, though enough were against it to not reach consensus
profiles had a poll in forwarding to the CWG, and it was split down the line in terms of for/against.
Given the previous votes on profiles being nearly unanimously for, I'm interested to see what people have to say about what went on.
Well, it is still going to be faster than WG14 ever doing anything useful improve the C's security model regarding arrays and strings.
It has hardly moved since 1989, and annex K doesn't count, given its broken design.
Anyway I am still mostly stuck with .NET Framework, Java 17, node 20 in many commercial deployments, so it isn't like everyone cares that much to update to latest, given existing business decisions.
Those kind of industries don't care about programming language featurities anyway.