I work in a 50-60 person SaaS company and I'm taking on a head of engineering role. At this level, my whole day is spent writing out plans and proposals, responding to communications, checking on projects, connecting resources, etc. On rare occasions, if I have time, I might actually build something small.
I know my job carries value. If done right, the whole company benefits by having clarity in what to do. The whole company is doing so much more than I could do as an individual and they can progress without doubts because of the groundwork I've helped lay down.
So while I don't have a feeling of being worthless, it all feels empty at the same time. I miss being a person who actually does stuff instead of directing it. I don't have long work hours. I receive a good salary. But I still feel like I'm heading towards burnout. It's work I don't want to do anymore. Does anyone else feel this in senior roles? What do you do at this point? Is there a limit I can go in my career with this feeling? Advice and shared experiences are appreciated here.
Just when I learned how to build high quality, secure, and performant software I was pushed into the role of management. It took me some time to figure out where to draw the line between being an IC and being a manager. But when I realised that the success in the role dependent on the success of my team, I started investing my time in developing and growing the team to create a mindset of building high quality, secure, and performant software.
>> The whole company is doing so much more than I could do as an individual
This realisation is important that as a company grows, you will not be able to do all the things by yourself. You would need reliable, high agency people to take care of things exactly the way you would have. Train them. Build them into next generation leaders. Slowly start delegating more responsibility. Allow them to reach their best potential. These are soft skills and building soft skills takes decades, but they are worth investing time in. Focus on taking high quality decisions and help make sure they are getting delivered while meeting stakeholder expectations.
If you start enjoying the above aspects, you'll feel less burned out. You may not be in a position to build software, but you'll be in a position to build high performing teams and be an invaluable asset to the company.
If you still think IC work interests you more, you should ask your management to move back into the IC role and help them figure out the right person who can take up the people management, process improvement job.
I hope this helps! :)