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pm90 657 days ago | link | parent

I agree with most of your points. But:

>Imagine you are old, need food, clothes, medical care. You need money for it, you see your neighbor get all the help from his son. While you get no help from your daughters.

That's incredibly sexist. As far as I can tell, it is in fact the other way around. Their sons usually try to avoid that responsibility and it is their daughters who actually spend time with them and try to work out their problems



kamaal 657 days ago | link

>>it is their daughters who actually spend time with them and try to work out their problems

Time?

Alas just 'spending time' doesn't solve all problems. You need somebody who can 'spend money' too. This is not an anti-girl rant. This is the saddest reality of our country. The middle class is overly male chauvinist and doesn't like sending women to work. Once married, the girl contributes literally nothing financially to her parents.

Firstly this is not a problem among the rich and the poor. Because Rich have money and poor don't mind women working.

Its the middle class which is in this problem. If you turn blind eye to this root cause. You can give as many moral lectures as you want on why this is wrong. Nothing will change.

Because people know deep inside them old age is imminent, and they will need money/financial support to survive then. Bitter truth!

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gingerjoos 657 days ago | link

I doubt kamaal was trying to be sexist. It's unusual in most parts of India for women to work outside their home. Hence no income if you're a sick man with only daughters.

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Luyt 657 days ago | link

What about their husbands? Don't they care about their father-in-law?

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kamaal 657 days ago | link

That never happens. In fact its the opposite. In India we have a huge problem of dowry and post marriage gifts and perks which the girls need to get from their parents and give it to their husbands side.

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creamyhorror 656 days ago | link

In the context of traditional weddings, I never understood dowries, considering the fact that a productive member of the family (the daughter) goes to join another family. Shouldn't it be the other way around (a bride price)?

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kamaal 656 days ago | link

Its a mystery, why such a practice would have even originated. I think it started with concept of gifts after marriage, and has now become the evil practice it is.

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theSuda 657 days ago | link

Whenever this type of discussion comes up, I always say that I will never mind taking care of my wife's parents if they need me to. After all they will be her parents just like I have mine. (I am not married, so using future tense). You would be surprised to hear that my friends (girls and guys alike) don't believe me and think I am joking. I have had women who are in their late 30s (so exactly in the age when their parents need support) argue with me on this point. In their opinion, I don't know what I am talking about, and will not care about anyone once I get married. TL;DR, People, even daughters laugh at you when you promise to take care of their parents equally as your own.

So when I describe my parents take on dowry (i.e. no dowry, we want a daughter, not a daughter in law etc), people think I am joking.

(I don't remember why I am writing this anymore)

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kamaal 656 days ago | link

I would like to wish you the very best. But please don't make promises you can't keep. Because it builds false hopes which sooner or later collapses.

>You would be surprised to hear that my friends (girls and guys alike) don't believe me and think I am joking.

Not surprising at all. In fact I'm finding it difficult to take you seriously. Given how many mouths you have to feed. Your family will be really big which 2 parents + 2 parents + 2 kids(assuming) + you and your wife. That's almost 8 people. Maintaining a family of 10 people, their expenses, bills, health care is a costly business, Even if you have your own BIG home. Else add rents et al to additional expenses. Plus you have kids education + their expenses. And your own family expenditure. Unless you are earning really huge I don't see you will make it through.

Therefore even though you may want to. But still you may not be able too.

>>In their opinion, I don't know what I am talking about, and will not care about anyone once I get married. TL;DR, People, even daughters laugh at you when you promise to take care of their parents equally as your own.

They are just trying to deal with reality.

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