Without going into personal details and to keep this slightly professional, this and last year was quite harsh on me because of mental health issues.
Next semester I'll be graduating out of undergraduate studies of software engineering, I have one semester left with a few courses + internship and dissertation.
My main issue is that, well. I haven't done much in terms of last years, only what was required of me with a few rare exceptions. Because of this, I don't have much in terms of portfolio (and while I'm working on it, I still have to admit I'm far behind my peers). Related to that, I failed to get an internship because of this and fumbling interviews, so I'll be doing an unpaid one assigned to me by the university.
It is hard for me to piece myself together because of feeling of shame, and I feel it still prevents me from going back to learning. I saw how much knowledge I'm still lacking, and the same in terms of actual ability to code. I'm struggling with healthy "coping" habits, with this. I know that the correct course of actions is to admit that from now on it would be preferable from me to just start working harder, but I'm suffering from perfectionist tendencies and all-or-nothing mentality.
There's also this thought that I have already messed up my future prospects hard, as recently I'm finding myself doubting my intelligence and not seeing myself as having chance of being a software engineer or even working in IT.
Have any of you dealt with this issue? If possible, I'd be curious to hear if someone experienced also went through this.
1) You are a new grad. Contrary to what some people may say, you are on equal footing with every other new grad. Portfolios and your academic track record are only mildly interesting. Internships give a minor head start to some people, but from the perspective of someone who has been around for a few decades, that isn't a huge difference -- none of you have substantial professional experience. So your recent struggles do not need to be a factor when looking for work. Focus on your future, not your past.
2) More generally, at any stage of life, to get some momentum rolling after struggles -- start small. Do some tiny projects just to get warmed back up to being productive. Give yourself some successes to build from. Once you done a few tiny things, start building bigger things. You'll feel better about everything else once your most recent projects are successes.