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Ask HN: How disconnected am I with reality?
5 points by dre3mer 9 months ago | hide | past | favorite | 4 comments
Long-time member, but throwaway for anonymity.

I've been living and working in the UK capital for a bit over 6 years as a senior software engineer. My partner was accepted to a top public university that most of you recognize (the one just over the Bay Bridge), for a 1 year graduate degree. She will be starting this summer/fall.

TLDR: Is it stupid to quit my job and try to accompany my partner on an F2 visa, spending a year looking for a job in the Bay Area?

The details:

* I am in the unique position of holding Australian citizenship, thus eligible for an E3 visa: I'd only need a solid job offer to be able to work legally, no lottery uncertainty or legal costs to the employer.

* Unfortunately my understanding is that employers are not really aware of this visa, thus tend to ignore/filter out resumes that look like needing "proper" sponsorship.

* The tech downturn is brutal and I am not an exceptional candidate. I have solid chops (backend/infra side), my work experience is modern, relevant and varied, but didn't study at a prestigious university, don't have FAANG experience, and not a DSA/Leetcode prodigy.

* On the plus side, I can spend the months leading to the departure plus my time in the US to grind DSA/Leetcode (although unsure of my maximum potential) and trying to secure interviews. But even getting interviews seems extremely hard from what I see in Reddit/Blind/HN.

* No professional network in the US to get referrals. I could try to rooftop slushie my way around that, but probably wouldn't be very effective.

* I've held 3 jobs over the past 2 years, so probably labelled as a job hopper, making getting past the resume filtering stage even harder. I had good reasons for each move and no gaps: 10 mo redundancy, 10 mo toxic environment, then got my current job which is great and fully remote. But I would need to resign to move with my partner to the US.

* Financially, I can afford being without a job for a year or maybe more but it would be a blow to savings.

Last but not least, I am a bit of a romantic, and living/working in the Bay or Silicon Valley has been a dream of mine. Even with the current situation in SF not being ideal wrt homelessness and general collapse of downtown, I'm still very much attracted to the idea and my partner is onboard. We've both been in and around the area and would be able to navigate the situation.

Should I take this risk? What are my chances in this climate? What would you do?




Your situation sounds tough but not impossible.

Whether or not you should take the risk comes down to one question: will you regret it if you don't?

Regret never leaves you, so try to live your life with as little of it as possible.


This is a good point. I do believe I'd regret passing on the opportunity, even if things didn't pan out in the end. But the risk averse part of my brain seems to be holding me back from executing.

I also recognize that this internal conflict is more pronounced by some level of existential dread after Covid and being well into my 30ies now.


Go for it! Do the stupid DSA/leetcode thing because you’ll just need to. But with some tenacity you’ll find a role. Despite what you hear about hiring being tough (it is), it’s still happening and lots of folks from are finding jobs. At 6+ years experience you’re also in a good position.


Yeah, the market is not completely dead, I can believe that, it just seems extremely competitive for the few positions available, and interviewing is very Leetcode-heavy in the US (the UK much less so, or easier).

I'm thinking that being physically present will clear things up about the state of the market and the level of competition, and perhaps expose me to more opportunities that online/remote applicants don't have. Maybe that's wishful thinking.

On the other hand, a full year is a significant amount of time to invest in searching for a job, and I am willing to compromise on compensation somewhat. How likely is it that I fail to secure even a single offer in that time I'm thinking? I want to say low but then again I see a lot of quality US candidates struggle for months on end.




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