While I've always been the introspective type, I've spent the last few years making more of an effort than ever to understand myself and use what I learn to my advantage, both professionally and socially.
This journey of self-discovery has included the realization that I am on the autism spectrum (later confirmed by a professional diagnosis), and I've slowly been learning how to apply this information in my life, with limited success.
Some recent changes in my life have involved meeting new people, and I'm currently gathering information on how to best go about this.
To be blunt, I don't want to mask or pretend to be neurotypical. I want to be authentic self. Unfortunately, this often leads to people thinking I dislike them or that I'd prefer to be left alone, even when I make an effort to be outgoing and enthusiastic, ask open-ended questions about them, and so on.
Would it be wise to just explain early on that I am on the spectrum? Perhaps this would cause people to view any hints of antisocial behavior from me in a less personal or negative way.
I'm open to advice from everyone, not just other neurodivergent folks. :)
For one, unless people have had direct experience with spectrum diagnosis, I think most still think of autism as the extreme end of the spectrum, of severe disability. For another, the label itself doesn't offer any knowledge of what to do differently.
In my mind, there are two things that you can do that might help:
First, it helps other people understand better when you make it about vulnerability. When you say things like "I dislike crowded spaces, it stresses me out." or "It takes me a little longer to come up with a retort, I've always been this way" it does exactly what you want: allows you to be your authentic self in a social way. Everyone has things that are outside their comfort zone, so being honest about yours is very relatable.
Second, you mention people "viewing hints of antisocial behavior". It's very challenging - to yourself and to other people in the situation - to be both "social" and "antisocial" at the same time. Social behavior requires effort from everyone. That's why advice columns have always existed, that's why there are so many self help books. Recognize that, as a baseline, practically everyone is walking around with some internal sense of inadequacy, and that in social situations most everyone puts on a front. Granted, most will understand the codes to putting on the front better than you. But the effort is there. Which is to say, if you decide you are going to be in a social situation, there isn't a way to square the circle, be anti-social and have it glide. But you can manage the effort to your capacity: step aside, limit the time, set boundaries - whatever works. It can help to know that really everyone else is doing it too.